When is Too Late?

by Damination

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Fluttershy, Trixie
Length: 2976

Trixie is tired of the loneliness and the long road of her life, so she decides to end it all. However, an encounter with a most unexpected pony calls her choice into question.

The Great and Powerful Trixie is no longer the boasting mare of infinite confidence she once was. The years and the long lonely road have worn away at her, slowly seeping into cracks in her heart left by a lost love.
Trixie has come to Verdant Valley to die...

...but who is this pegasus that just trotted in, and what is she doing so far from home?

Written for the Equestria Daily Trixie Fanfic Event

Published 2013-07-10 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-10 22:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1

The decision to kill herself had been easy. The weight of her countless failures, unending loneliness, and the prospect of an old age stooped in shame easily overcame her will to live. Deciding upon the location had been equally easy, given a few parameters. It had to be somewhere remote; she would die as she had lived--alone. It also had to be grand, for despite her broken spirit she was still the Great and Powerful Trixie. The third criteria was the deciding factor--namely, that it be someplace along the road she had traveled as a filly with her only true friend before that friend had disappeared--narrowing it down to the spot she chose.

The Verdant Valley. Either the cartographers had a sense of humor or they had never actually been to the place. Probably the latter--this was almost uncharted territory. Trixie stood at the top of the cliff marking the eastern edge of the valley, looking out across the desolate black scar, squinting her eyes to see the distant glacier creeping north like sap through tree-bark. It was one of the more magnificent sights Trixie had seen in her lifetime. This was her second time standing at this precipice, and she gave herself a good look.

Trixie shivered uncontrollably in the rushing wind. She had thought this through--the decision was already made. If her will faltered, she would freeze to death in the sub-zero temperatures of the night. There was no wood to burn for miles; travelers had to bring it with them. She had brought no winter clothes either, wearing only her trusty hat and cape. No wood, no warmth, and no chance of survival--perfect.

She walked toward the cliff's edge, smiling when she saw ten pearly-white stones arranged in a circle, situated right before the point of no return. This was the same campfire Trixie had shared with Her, all those years ago, built with seastones they had brought up from the coast just because of how beautiful they looked. The weight of the wagon wasn't so bad with two ponies pulling. She remembered all the nights they had spent together--she had gone over and over those memories, consciously.

She said: I can’t believe how clear it is tonight... tell me something. Do you believe in heaven, Trixie?

Then I said: What, you mean 'the heavens'? We’re looking at them right now.

Then she rolled her eyes and said: No, don't tease, you know what I mean.

I tried to dodge: ...haven’t you asked me before?

She looked like she was trying to remember; I thought she was just being polite: No, I don’t think so. I would remember.

I tried to turn it around: What about you? Do you seriously think there’s something after this life?

She put on her best hurt look, but I knew it was an act. We both broke out laughing at the same time: Really though, Trixie, how can you ask that? You know I’m serious. But hay, I asked you first, so you answer.

I gave in. I could tell she really cared, so I thought carefully before speaking. And as I spoke I felt something take over, and my heart began to race: I didn't think so as a filly--well, we’re still fillies, but you know what I mean. But ever since I met you...

Trixie kicked around the stones until she found the one she was looking for. A faint inscription still glowed upon its surface, half written in Trixie's purple magic and half written in Her bright red: “TL loves SS--997.” 42 years ago. They had been so young, though they didn't think so at the time--fillies on an adventure, travelling show-ponies. It was crazy.

Trixie took the stone in her magic and placed it firmly in the ground, right at the edge of the cliff. It would be her stepping-stone to... to something better. Trixie went back to her cart to check that the fireworks were all ready. They were big ones, set to explode right above the valley’s center. The Great and Powerful Trixie would go out with one hell of a bang. Too bad nopony would see it. She wasn't quite sure why, in the end, she had spent all her life’s savings on fireworks for an empty funeral. Probably something to do with her twisted ego.

The fireworks were ready, the trigger was set. Only three things remained: a quick pulse of magic, a short sprint, and a long fall. Trixie couldn’t quite believe how easily she was going to get her freedom from the daily torment.

Sunset Shimmer, here I come--

“Umm, h-hello.”

Trixie spun around fast--too fast, causing her shaky knees to buckle. She fell, sprawling into the dirt.

“Oh, are you alright? Did I startle you? I did, didn't I... I’m so sorry!” The newcomer approached tentatively, apparently uncertain whether or not Trixie needed help standing up. She didn't.

“D-don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

“Oh, but you’re shivering! Here, let me warm you up.” All the mare’s trepidation seemed to disappear, like a switch had been flipped, and suddenly the newcomer was right next to her, a warm wing tightly wrapped around Trixie’s bare coat. Well that was quite friendly of her. Trixie considered protesting, but that actually felt good. Really good. And what did dignity matter--she had lost it long ago and was about to jump off a cliff, so she should be able to enjoy this pegasus’s kindness.

With this mare so close, Trixie could see her features clearly enough, encased in a heavy winter hood. Yellow coat, pink-grey mane. Probably around her own age.

“Thank you, stranger.” Trixie wasn’t sure why she was thanking this pony who had appeared at the worst possible time, but at least Trixie wouldn't be half frozen when she did jump off the cliff. “I... umm, I forgot my winter clothes.”

“Oh, I’m so glad I found you! It gets so cold here at night, you might have...” The mare looked upset to the point of tears at the thought of Trixie’s freezing to death, and Trixie suddenly felt a great conviction that this pegasus must not find out the reason she had come here. The pegasus spoke. “I... hope you don’t mind, but I didn't expect to see anypony up here, so I have to ask... where are you going?”

“Umm...” Maybe to heaven. Definitely to the bottom of the cliff right over there... “North. To, umm, Hoof... Fields.”

“Oh, is that near Johoov’esburg? I've never heard of it.” Good, she bought it. Trixie wished she had paid more attention to the towns she had passed through on her most recent trip south, but her mind had been elsewhere. Just like it had been the first time, on Sunset...

“Yeah, it’s around there. I was going to put on a show. That’s why I have fireworks, as you can see.” Trixie forced herself to do her characteristic flourish, though she kept it subdued so as not to unsettle this mare’s warm wing, as she said the next bit: “I’m The Great and Powerful Trixie!”

The mare laughed at the effort, and Trixie felt a faint blush come to her cheeks at that. She knew by now that it looked a bit ridiculous with her age, but that was one habit she would never lose. Unbidden, the image of her flourishing and shouting ‘I’m The Great and Powerful Trixiiiiiiie’ as she hurtled toward the ground came to mind, and like a madpony Trixie also burst out laughing. The other mare was the first to stop, gasping for breath as she spoke.

“Yes, I... I know you. I mean, we met, a long time ago.”

“Oh? Did you see one of my shows?” Trixie felt a rush of the old pride, glad to know that at least her name would live on in ponies like this, if only for a little while.

“No... I would have liked to. We met in Ponyville. I was one of Twilight’s friends--my name is Fluttershy.”

“Oh.” Trixie wasn't sure what to feel. She had buried her anger at Twilight Sparkle and her two victories very deep. They had even met, a few times, since Sparkle had become the third princess. The purple unicorn turned alicorn had always caused a certain envy in Trixie, who knew that even if she devoted her entire life to the study of magic she could never be half as good as Princess Celestia’s superstar. Ever since the School for Gifted Unicorns she had been in Twilight Sparkle’s shadow, though back then the prodigy had only been a name. The last time they met was five years ago, when Princess Twilight Sparkle needed a light bulb changed. True, it was a massive cosmic nuclear reactor light bulb, but still... That had actually been really fun. “How’s Sparkle doing nowadays, anyway?”

Fluttershy stared at her blankly. “You... you didn't hear? I thought everypony heard...”

“What?” When Fluttershy failed to answer, Trixie felt a cold shiver run through her despite the warm wing. The mare’s eyes were enough. They were the eyes of a sorrow Trixie had only ever seen in the mirror. “Is she dead?”

Fluttershy hid her face inside hood and nodded, then looked down. After a while she said: “It was a beautiful ceremony. First time a pi-princess has died in over a thousand years, they said. Celestia r-read a s-s-section--”

“Stop. You don’t need to go on.” Trixie placed a hoof around Fluttershy's neck, bringing her head to Trixie's shoulder. There weren't any tears though; Trixie was surprised. “I didn't know Twilight that well, but I know she was a great friend to you. So if you need a shoulder, Trixie's here.”

“That’s ok... I don’t cry about it anymore. I just... I can’t. All I feel is this emptiness...” Fluttershy looked back up at Trixie, surprisingly composed. Trixie shuddered once more, remembering what she had seen in those eyes only moments before. Then a thought struck her, a terrible thought, an impossible thought.

“Fluttershy... why did you come here?” Trixie thought she saw a flicker of fear play across the mare’s face, but before she could be sure it was perfectly serene once more.

“I’m going south to the Penga Isles. They need an interpreter for the penguins at our outpost there.” Fluttershy looked convincing. Perhaps she was sincere--or perhaps this was just a carefully practiced ruse.

“So why are you walking, then?”

“I like the scenery. Why are you asking me all these questions?” There it was: a hint of anger at a perfectly innocent question. She was hiding something, but Trixie still wasn't sure that her suspicions were correct. How could they be? This mare had great friends and a happy life.
Surely she wasn't here to... but those eyes. No, no, Trixie told herself, that was probably just her own mind being tricksy.

“No reason, I was just wondering. It just seems so unlikely that the two of us happened to meet out here, as remote as you can get short of the middle of the San Palomino Desert. It seems--”

“Lucky,” Fluttershy finished. Not the word Trixie would have used, but maybe...

“Yeah, I guess it’s pretty lucky. Always nice to meet another traveler on the long cold road.” Trixie meant that last bit. Fellow travelers tended to make the best acquaintances, much better than the grounded towns-ponies. Friends, you might even say, if you had never know how true friendship felt, like Trixie had that one and only time 42 years ago.

“So... you’re still a showpony?” Fluttershy was changing the subject, yet another indicator, but Trixie also had to be careful to hide her own secret.

“Yeah, all my life. Well, since school. The Great and Powerful Trixie, 42 years running.”

“Wow... and you were travelling all that time?”

“Yes...”

“How do you manage? It must be so lonely...” Trixie suddenly felt like she was being evaluated, as if she were sitting in front of a judge, the honorable Fluttershy. Was Fluttershy on to her? She mustn't find out...

“It’s not that lonely, actually,” Trixie lied with all the skill of a professional. “You meet a lot of interesting ponies on the road, and travelling Equestria you make a lot of friends.”

“You make it sound wonderful...” Fluttershy looked off toward the cliffside, and her eyes caught on something. Suddenly she stood up and walked over to the white stone engraved with TL loves SS--997. “What’s this?”

Trixie didn't answer, unsure she could pull this lie off. She was beginning to shiver in the biting wind and her heart was beating out of her chest. She didn't have to say anything, though.

“42 years...” Fluttershy said it in a whisper, but Trixie as well as heard it when she saw the look on Fluttershy's face. The pegasus then spoke up. “TL... you’re name’s Trixie Lunamoon, right?”

“How did you--”

“Who’s SS?” Fluttershy came back after carefully examining the rock. The sun was setting behind her over the valley’s edge, and shadow’s shrouded her features as she slowly walked back toward Trixie.

There was nothing for it now. Trixie hoped the truth would be her salvation: “An old friend... my best friend. Well, more than a friend. She disappeared a long time ago. No one knows where.”

Fluttershy stopped walking, her features still hidden in shadow, and Trixie slowly stood up.

“Is that why you travel? Are you looking for her?” Fluttershy slowed her pace even further, as if stalking cornered prey, or at least that’s the image that came to Trixie's mind. “Do you think that if you perform, she might hear you name? That she might find you?”

Trixie didn't answer. She didn't have to. The cards were already on the table. This was it. Fluttershy spoke in an unreadable voice:

“You weren't going to ‘Hoof Fields’, were you?”

Trixie remained silent for a moment, trying to see what sort of face was hidden under that blasted hood. She just wasn’t making this game fair. Well, Trixie was just going to have to play the card she had.

“And you weren't going to Penga.”

It seemed like an eternity that Trixie stared at that hood, waiting for a response. It couldn't have been an eternity, though, as the sun was still just visible behind the ridges on the far side of the valley when Fluttershy shook off her hood and resumed her earlier position with a wing tightly wrapped around Trixie, as if afraid to let go. Finally she spoke.

“No.”

They remained like that, silent, for a long time, just staring into space as the sky quickly darkened and the howling wind because a monstrous roar. Fluttershy seemed to almost hang on to Trixie for her life, as if the wind would just blow her away. Maybe it would; pegasi were notoriously light as a species. Perhaps she had thought it through, before, like Trixie--if she couldn't make the jump, she would just let the wind take her and slam her against the sharp rocks lining the valley. Trixie thought about asking, but dismissed the thought: what did it matter, death was death no matter what the means.

After some time the wind died down, and Fluttershy loosened her grip. Trixie took this as a sign that they could talk again.

“So what happens now?” asked Trixie.

“Well, there’s three things we could do. We could go straight, we could go back, or we could stay here...”

“Yes... tell me something. Do you believe in heaven, Fluttershy?”

“I don’t know... I usually don’t, not really, but sometimes I think... well, if there is a heaven, I know Twilight’s there, all alone, waiting for her friends.”

“Yeah, I think Sunset’s there too. Heh, I just noticed, their names mean the same thing: Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer.”

“That's right... what are the chances?”

“What are the chances with any of this, Fluttershy? I came out here to die alone, and so did you, and we just happen to meet on this exact day. You know, I was about to... right before you showed up.”

“Yeah, I thought so. You were so flustered.”

“But hay, listen, I don’t mean to dissuade you if you really know you’re doing the right thing, but... look, believe me, you’ve got a lot to live for. Nopony cares about the Great and Powerful Trixie, but you have 4 great friends still here, and... I guess I’m saying it’s not just about you, unlike me.”

“Hay, wait a minute,” said Fluttershy, slightly ticked, “you've got ponies who care about you too. For starters, there’s me. So... so if you go, I go.”

Trixie felt all her carefully laid plans beginning to unravel like so many pieces of string, but she didn't care.

“Well, I guess we’re stuck here then, at least until morning. It’s too cold to die tonight.” Trixie felt Fluttershy snuggle even closer, and she took that as a sign of agreement. “I do have a pretty kickass fireworks show though, if you want to see it.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful! What are we celebrating?”

“How about... us. The Great and Powerful Trixie and the Kind and Beautiful Fluttershy?” Fluttershy laughed and the sound was music in the wind. Trixie prepared to set off the fireworks, building up her magic. She counted down: “3... 2... 1...”

The many colors of the explosive rockets illuminated the valley, playing off the icy glacier and far away peaks in ways beautiful beyond description. This, Trixie realized, was definitely a show she was glad she didn't miss. Though other memories would begin to fade as time and love healed the broken hearts of those two ponies, the fireworks that night were something they would remember for the rest of their many days.

The End.