My Little Invader

by Amereep

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Invader Zim, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 13043

Equestria has had many villains through the years but the worst one has just arrived, Invader Zim.

Zim, the self-proclaimed Invader, is told to take a secret mission for his 'Impending Doom 2' duties. Instead of finding earth, he found Equestria and decides to take over the planet.

Just like my Parappa crossover story, the first chapter is the set-up. I basically retell how Zim plans to blend into the society (I throw in a few things to make it mildly interesting). After that chapter, I go my own way with him (avoiding any retelling stories of the canon show).

This story will always be incomplete, I'll go back to this story whenever I feel like I can make another short story for Zim to go through. I don't have an ending idea, and I always like to keep a chance open for more stories (on short episode stories).

Cover image by Grey-Sweet.

Published 2013-06-30 18:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-08 20:55:58 UTC

Blending In

"♪Doom doooom dooom doooooooom doom doom doom doooooooooom♪"

"Gir, could you please stop singing." said a green alien to his robot companion. This alien goes by the name Zim, he's an invader that is currently on a 'secret mission' to invade and prepare the planet for the coming invasion. He is now currently riding in his spaceship, the 'Voot cruiser', in a brain-dead state listening to his robot companion 'dooming' him to death.

[DESTINATION ARRIVED] Zim's ship announced

He looks at the window and sees a blue planet, with specs of green lands and puffy white clouds. "Gir, were here" He looks over to the still singing robot.

"♪Doom doom doomy doomy doomy doomy.♪ Oooo, what's that?" Gir said, now glued to the window.

"A planet named... Equestria." Zim reads from the monitor of his ship. "This must be the place, well let's get started Gir. Get your scanning system on, while I look for a suitable area for our base" and with that, the green invader flew into the atmosphere. He flew into a small town, looking at the houses. Gir was like a kid in a candy shop, zipping his head left and right as he saw this new world. Zim stopped between two houses "HERE, we build HERE" he yelled and the ship descend. He got out of the ship, looking if anyone might've spotted him and luckily, no one did. Relieved he turns towards Gir, falling out of the ship "Quick Gir tell me, what have you learned?"

"I saw a bunny" the robot replied. Zim is standing in confusion at the statement "It was going like this" Gir then folds his arms, give a scowl and starts tapping his foot.

"Focus Gir, we need to blend in" Zim scolded. "Now, we need some disguises" he said then went to his ship. He brings a monitor out of the ship and a keyboard appears in front of him as he starts typing. He looks through various options for disguises.

"TOO RETRO!"

"TOO DERPY!"

He eventually comes across a disguise that he likes and pushes some buttons to make his ship to cover him. "OOOO AAAA WHY DOES IT HURT?" he cries at his new found knowledge that, makeovers actually hurt. The ship reveals the new Zim, showing him with barely any changes. He had contact lenses to hide his red eyes and has black hair to hide his antennas, he basically looked like his canon version. However he was given two more features. He was given a pin on tail that matched the color of his new hair. The other is a little bit hard to describe, so I'll compare it to something. Imagine a dog with a cone on him/her/it. Now replace the dog with your arm, having your hand be the head. And there you have it, their cuffs that cover his hands, and he is even given another pair to cover his feet. "This is going to take some getting use to" Zim said as he looked at the cuffs "regardless, this is for the mission. Now it's your turn, Gir."

"What am I going to be? Is it a mongoose?" the robot asked in anticipation.

Zim just pushed him towards the ship "I know exactly what your going to be." The ship surrounded Gir, and within seconds, Gir comes out dressed like a green dog (a bad one at that). His suit had a zipper in front and had stitches on his face. It wasn't really fooling anyone that something wasn't wrong with the dog, "ENGENIUS" Zim yelled.

"I'm a moose" Gir proudly proclaim, even though he was no-where-near correct.

"Now, we need to make a base" Zim takes out a hand held object, and stretches it, forming a pad. He takes out a stick on the side of the object and starts drawing on the pad for a few moments "That should do it." Zim closes the object up and pushes a button to form a drill at the end of it and sticks the tip into the ground. Within seconds the object drills into the soil and Zim get up, taking Gir, to the edge of the street.

The little device stopped at a certain level underground and then started to expand. As it grew, it formed rooms upon rooms shaking the ground. As for above ground, a house was starting to form. It looked like two stories tall and had a green coat on it with a dark pink roof. Two hanging flowers were next to the door that were secretly cameras to check on visitors and a wind indicator on the roof that was secretly a satellite dish in order to communicate into space.

After the house settled, everypony looked out of their windows and doorways to see what made the rumbling sounds. All they found was Zim, who was trying to blend in "Did anyone else feel that?" he asked out loud to anypony who cared to lend a eye. None of the ponies said anything as they looked upon Zim, who was making sure to stay on all fours.

Zim, who was starting to feel that they were catching on, decided to play it cool and walk to his new house, leading Gir along with. The door opened to his new house on its own as two figures appeared at the doorway "Welcome home, son" the figures said. One of the figures looked like a father figure who had wheels on the side of his hooves and seemed to be very stiff, like if it was meant to be on a carousel. The other figure looked like a motherly type that had arches on her hooves, like if it came off of a rocking chair or a rocking ~~horse~~ pony.

Zim looked over his shoulder one more time before entering in and shutting the door. "Phew" Zim said in relief "that was close. I thought the Equestrians were catching on to me, but they seem to be rather dense. They probably thought it was magic or something" Zim said to himself as he went deeper into his new lair and to start a plan to take down the new world.

Author's Note

Salty Image by: psyduck on Deviantart
Derpy Image by: Makintosh91 on Deviantart

The Pink Nightmare

Zim, being new on this planet, takes in the culture as he trots through the town of Ponyville. "Such pathetic creatures these Equestrians are" he says to himself as he looks around. "Look at them, all talking to one another, all having a smile on their faces, too foolish to even think that nothing could harm them. It's sickening. It makes me want to puke."

"Want me to get you a bucket?"

"No thanks, I think I can mana-AAAAAHHH!!!!" Zim yelled as he realized that a pink pony was walking right behind him and had entered into his privet conversation. She was giving a happy grin and was up close to Zim, getting into his personal space.

"You think you can manaaaahhh?" the pink pony said "I'm not a manaaaahhh, I'm a pony! If you want to talk about manaaaahhh, I suggest you talk to Lyra. She just loves to talk about humans."

Zim didn't give any care at the statement she made "Leave me pink pest, Zim has no need for company" and he walks away from her, but she follows him anyway by bouncing next to him.

"Zim? Who's Zim?"

"I AM ZIM! Now leave me be."

"Really, I'm Pinkie Pie. Zim, huh? That's a really weird name. I think you look more like a Field Grazer or maybe a Fern Forest. OOH OOH I KNOW, your name could be Thunder Bucket."

Zim stopped his poor attempt at galloping and turns to Pinkie Pie, who is now sitting on her hind legs, bouncing up and down. "Do you acquire my assistance for something?"

"No" she replied, still bouncing.

"Then why are you following me?"

"To make you feel welcome to the town."

"Well, I feel welcomed, so your mission is done be gone with you candy beast." Zim walks away giving a scowl at her, making sure she doesn't follow.

But, Pinkie replies by popping up from a stone tablet, which formed part of the road, in front of Zim. Zim had to double take to make sure their weren't two of them. "You don't look welcomed. You seem to be annoyed about something." Zim was gritting his teeth at her "I know, why don't I show you around the place" Pinkie said with a smile.

Zim's expression changed to a more calm one "Hmm... That might actually be useful. With her help, I could understand the culture better and find out about any weaknesses this planet has." "Very well, show me... around" Zim accepted with a sly grin.

Being thrilled, Pinkie jumps for joy and shows him around. The following is the places she showed him:

Town Hall

The library

A cafe

The lake

A bridge

A stall

A well

A tree

A bench

A trash can

Some rocks

and a sign post with some kind of pony giving a fierce look at the viewer with the word 'OBEY' underneath it.

And those were only the places she took him, don't get me started on who they met on this little tour. Zim was losing his mind to her rambling after about the fifth place they went to. "Her voice sounds like that of the screaming Mandrakiens! My head feels like it will explode!" Zim cried out in his mind. Zim tried to sneak away when Pinkie Pie was distracted but she appeared not far from Zim to tell about the new location that Zim ran to.

Time past and the tour ended before any casualties were mortally wounded (it was to late for being mentally wounded, though).

"That was fun" Pinkie said, not witnessing the signals Zim was trying to give her "But look at the sun, I gotta get going. I'm babysitting tonight" and with that she waved a smiling goodbye and zipped right out there.

Zim didn't pay much thought to what sitting on babies would accomplish, but was relived to finally have some silence around him. He wobbled home, holding onto his head. Once he made it home, he took a few steps in and then collapsed, face flat, onto the ground. Gir soon entered the house, drinking a milkshake, and stepped on Zim like if he was a door mat.

The next morning, Zim was staying home working on some experiments until he gets a knock on the front door. He looks over to a monitor screen that showed that Pinkie Pie was at the front door. Zim gasped at the sight of her "She's come to finish me off, I just know it." He pushes the monitor away and starts to think of a way to deal with her. "I WONT be subjugated to her voice again. There must be a way to get rid of her." Zim suddenly thinks up an idea "Maybe, I could rip out her eyeballs and put in new ones in order to re-arrange her mind?"

Their was a long pause at this moment.

"Although, seeing how this creature can stretch her appendages like rubber, I might have more trouble removing her eyes then to be expected."

"Why don't you give her a muffin?"

"Well it could put her into a false sense of security. Even so, I don't even have a muffin to give."

"I have one right here."

"Oh, could you lend me-AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" Zim screamed at the amazing stealth Pinkie used to get into his base.

This was a serious problem. Within mere minutes, Pinkie was able to enter his base, find his hidden base underneath the first one and is now looking at him, without his disguise on. Zim was sweating bullets at the smiling pony. She was looking at him with a friendly face extending a muffin she had in her hoof. She didn't seem to mind that he looked different, but this didn't put Zim at rest seeing this.

Zim put on a tough look and slapped the pastry from Pinkies hoof. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he yelled at her, trying to show power over her.

Pinkie, still in a blissful state, replies "Well since I was showing you around yesterday, I realize that I didn't get to know you. So today I want to know as much about you as there is."

"OH NO!!! IT'S JUST AS I FEARED!!!" Zim yelled in his head "She's going to find out about everything. I have to do something quick before-"

"What food do you like? What's your favorite color? Why are your eyes red? What's your profession? What do you do for a hobby? What happen to your mane and tail? Where did you come from? How did you get those things on your hooves? What's in your back-pack? When are you going to come back with new episodes?"

It was to late. Pinkie was rambling-on non-stop as Zim started to grab his antennas in hopes to stop hearing her go on, but to no avail. "It's all over, she'll never stop talking now. I have to do something, I have to shut her up, I have to..."

"MUFFINS!"

Pinkie stops and looks over the the creature that just spoke. Zim does the same, but the creature they were looking at as a bit metallic. It was none other then a suitless wearing Gir. He was eating the muffin that Zim slapped out of Pinkies hooves a moment ago.

Pinkie's eyes started to grow "OOOOO, I haven't seen you around before. What's your name little fella?"

"Gir" the robot replied.

Pinkie started laughing "That's a cute name. It's like your making yourself seem tough and decided to name yourself after what a dog does to act tough might do."

"Show off stretchy powers?"

"No silly, why would stretching be considered tough? I'm saying they growl, 'GIRRRRRR'" she laughs at her own attempt at growling "So you like muffins?"

"They give me gas."

"*giggle* I know! Why don't we make cupcakes" she offers to Gir.

"And a rubber squirrel" Gir added.

"Sure" she replied happily and throws Gir onto her back and she gallops away, both of them laughing at the joys they will encounter.

Zim stares dumbfounded as the two went on their way out of the base. Pinkie was gone, so did he win? She is as out there as Gir was and she even seemed to match his attention span as well. She saw him without his disguise on, but would anyone believe her? Zim shook himself back into reality and went back to his work "Well at least she's gone, I just hope Gir will be able to handle her."

An hour later~

We see Gir and Pinkie doing a weird dance that requires 'pig snouts'.

Author's Note

I feel like this started very wobbly, but I had to do this chapter in order to make the chapter that is going to follow this and the next one.

The Book That Holds... Something?

*Knock knock knock*

A door opens, revealing a purple unicorn looking out of her tree house's front door. There, she finds a bizarre looking green 'pony' that has a metal backpack and some clothing on. "I have been told that I could find knowledge within this structure" the green 'pony' named Zim proclaimed in a confident-curious like way "Would you be willing to give me some of that knowledge?"

The purple unicorn, named Twilight, began analyzing him for a second or two after his question. She gave him a smile "Sure, come right on in" she extended a hoof inside, stepping over to let him in.

Zim walks inside on all fours, looking around the library tree. He sees books all over the place that were shelved into the tree. He didn't really know where to start, but he eventually decided to start at one of the shelves. He took a book off the shelf and started to peer through it, trying to get as much knowledge as he could.

He actually caught the attention of another creature within the library. The creature didn't look like a pony; in fact it didn't have fur on itself, it had scales. It also stood on two legs instead of four and it was staring at the 'pony' with intense eyes. The creature went over to the purple unicorn with a concern face. "Twilight" the scaled creature whispered to her, trying to avoid the green 'pony' from hearing "what are you doing? You just let in some kind of creature inside the house."

The purple pony gave a glare at the small dragon "Spike, don't be rude. He's no creature he's a pony and our guest."

"Pony?" the dragon gave a shocking look at her "He's no pony. Just look at him, he looks nothing like a pony."

Twilight gave a look over to Zim, who's still focused on the book, and studied him once more. "I'll admit, their is something a bit weird about him but I still see him as a pony."

"I don't believe this" the dragon put a claw to his face "just look at his legs, they're bent the opposite way. Instead of the elbow bending away from the torso, its bending into it."

"Yes I noticed that too, but I think its another form of Situs Inversus."

While the argument went on, Zim was having a tough time with his research. He took out a scanner from his backpack and went over the words of the book, trying to understand this new language. "These codexes seem unidentifiable. Mostly all of them seem to use symbols for their front." Zim looked over one book that had a heart and a pot on the cover. He looked over to another book that had what seemed to have two pillows on the cover. Then he looked at the book he was holding, it had a streak of various lines that seemed to follow a trail. It also seemed to have some form of device or creature that appeared to be pulling the streaks, but it was impossible for Zim to identify what it was, a pony maybe? "I need to get this back to the base if I'm ever going to find out what this codex is about."

"Did you find a book you want?" a voice said to Zim, breaking him out of his little trance. He looked over to see Twilight staring at him with a friendly smile.

"Wha, you mean I can take this?"

"Sure, just return it back when your done."

"This is too easy! These ponies are practically willing to give out their secrets. I'll have this planet conquered in no time. Thank you and don't worry, I'll return it" Zim said giving an evil looking grin.

Back underground and inside Zim's base, Zim was scanning the book. "Well computer, what can you tell me about the inscriptions" Zim commanded.

[IT APPEARS TO BE A BOOK THAT TELLS ABOUT CREATING.]

"Creating? Creating what?"

[STILL IN THE PROCESS OF IDENTIFYING, BUT ONE OF THE CREATIONS IS CALLED 'A PONY TAIL'.]

Zim started to contemplate a hypothesis "A pony tail! This is perfect, I must've gotten a book that tells on how to create ponies and with this I can create my own pony and use it to do my bidding. This is something only someone as great as me could do by accident. Still, I never would have guessed that ponies were really androids." Zim was now in an eager state to start creating "COMPUTER! Tell me these steps at creating this 'pony tail'."

The computer started processing for a moment before it responded [IT TELLS THAT THIS PROCESS CAN BE MORE EFFECTED IF THERE ARE TWO INVOLVED.]

"Okay, so I need an assistant. GIR!"

As Zim yelled those words, an explosion happened from the ceiling of the room, with Gir falling from it. He lands at attention with red eyes, giving a salute "YES SIR."

"Gir, I'm going to need your help for this important experiment."

Gir's eyes returned back to it's green color "Okey dokey lokey."

Zim gave a thought to that statement for a moment but threw the thought aside "NEXT STEP COMPUTER" he yelled out.

[FOCUS ON WORKING ON ONE OF THE TWO PONY'S MANE.]

Zim quickly placed a wig onto Gir's head "NEXT!"

The process went on threw several more steps that involved twisting and turning the mane. It also involved using a stretching band in the mane. At the end, Gir was sitting there with his mane pulled away from his face thanks to the band by securing it.

Zim was contemplating the final result "Hmm... it does look like a pony's tail, but I had to use an already existing matter on the pony to do it. Maybe I can learn more if I work on something else? COMPUTER, another creation."

[THE NEXT CREATION IS CALLED 'PIG TAILS']

Zim's antennas went up in surprise "Pig tails? I want to make a pony, not tails of pigs."

"Oh, can we" Gir pleaded with Zim "please pleeeeeeaaassseee pllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-"

"ALRIGHT!" Zim yelled at Gir's persistent behavior "I do need the knowledge anyway."

From their, Zim kept making different mane styles on Gir. He made a Crown braid, a Bun, a Ringlet, a Beehive, and a Odango mane style. Gir eventually started to get a little impatient and wanted to go do something else, Zim pep talked him into staying.

"Please Gir, if this works we will be so much more closer at taking over Equestria. Please, do this for me, do this for the mission, do this for the Irken Empire." Gir didn't seemed motivated, so Zim decided reach out for something else "Do this for all of those horribly dis-gusting food that you love so so much."

"FOR THE CHERRY!"

"YES, FOR THE CHERRY. Now stand still while I put this bow on you."

After all the mane styles, Zim stood back and started realizing something "All of these creations. This is no book at creating ponies, it a book for changing one's molecular structure to form a new appearance." Zim starts stomping at the ground in frustration "Why would they do such a thing?"

The computer gave it's opinion [PERHAPS IT IS USED TO ATTRACT THE OPPOSITES GENDER IN HOPES OF REPRODUCTION.]

Zim just waved a hand at the idea "That's ridiculous, attraction has nothing to do with creating a smeet."

[BUT, WHAT IF THE PONY RACE DOESN'T REPRODUCE LIKE THE IRKEN RACE? WHAT IF THEY REPR-]

"WAIT, I GOT IT!" Zim interrupted "This technique could possibly help me blend in more."

[WELL, ER, UM, MAYBE?]

No matter what the computer's response was, Zim's mind was already set "GIR, fetch me the scrunchie."

A few days later~

Zim stops wearing new mane styles, due to the fact that it drawn in attention instead of avoiding it.

Author's Note

At first, the book was going to be called 'eight ways to please your stallion'. Then, it was going to be the book from hearts and hooves day, the sleepover book, or even the book from the first episode. But, then I started to think about ponytails. My mind was soon set after that.

"FOR THE CHERRY!"

I kept on using that line for a dangerous moment ever since a fight nearly killed me in a Kirby game.

I was playing with my sister and we went up against Magolor EX. She fell during the fight and we had no more lives left, which ment I was alone to face the evil. I was beaten to an inch of my life, one more hit and it would be all over, but a shimmering pair of red orbs appeared on stage. It was a cherry! I ran to it and gobbled it up and continued the fight and was hit once more, but that cherry gave me an extra hit. I was able to last until the finishing blow. I stated, "What do we strive for? Cherries! What do we want on top of our shakes? Cherries!" And when my sword increased in size, striking the foe four times, increasing once more for the fifth and final strike; I cried "FOR THE CHERRY!!!!!!"

Now that this story is done, I can finally get to the first idea I thought Zim could go through. Is everybody up for a little bit of Daring Doom?

Temple of Doom

*Bang*

"Good news Gir" Zim yell out, after kicking the door open to his base. "Our problems with the ponies will soon be solved for good. You see I~" Zim stopped right as he looked into the kitchen. There, he saw Gir and Pinkie Pie having a tea party, they just stared at him with a surprised look on their faces.

"Out out outoutoutoutOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUT!" Zim was yelling as he was carrying Pinkie to the front door and throwing her across the streets. She was okay, she was enjoying the ride and even the throw performed by Zim.

"BYE PINKIE" Gir yelled out, waving his hand a goodbye to her.

Zim slams the door shut, then looks at his minion. "GIR, she's the enemy. You should be keeping her out, not letting her stay inside."

"We had a party" Gir said, oblivious to his scolding.

Zim grabs his head with a hand and shakes his noggin at the lack of cooperation from the robot. "Listen Gir, I've been visiting that 'Tree of Knowledge' lately to help me understand this world. Through my research, I found this" Zim takes out a book from his backpack that shows a golden fur mare pegasus on the cover. She had a range of grey colors for her mane and had a wardrobe that appears to be that of an archaeologist. "It's one of a series of books about a mare named 'Daring Do'. Through every story, she goes on journeys that involve her getting rare artifacts that hold incredible powers. With these, artifacts, I can use the powers they hold in order to rule Equestria." Zim put the book back into his backpack and heads deeper into his base. "Prepare yourself Gir. Tonight, we will go treasure hunting."

Luna's moon filled the sky and Zim set off in search for a temple to heist. "We'll be searching the 'Everfree Forest', Gir" he informed. "The ponies appear to stay clear of that place for various reasons, which means that place would most likely still have a temple unexplored." The invader arrives at the forbidden forest and starts scanning the area above the trees, moving a smooth constant pace forward. Zim focuses on the radar, trying to see if there was anything the computer may have overlooked.

About an hour or so later, Zim's computer responds [LARGE CONSTRUCTION FOUND].

This snaps Zim out of his trance on the screen and looks at the location. "Finally. Alright Gir, I'm going to-" he stops when he turns around to see himself alone. He starts looking around to try and find the little robot, but to no avail. He probably would've never found him if it wasn't for the reflection off the window in front of him.

"GET OFF MY HEAD!" Zim yells at the sleeping Gir. Gir jumps off as Zim lands the ship in front of the old temple. "Gir, I'll go search for the ancient artifact within this structure. I want you to maintain the ship and keep it running in case if anything goes wrong and we need to make a hasty escape." Gir just stared at Zim "I know you want to protect your master from whatever lies within this catacombs, but I need you here." Gir still stares in silence at Zim "I must go, but I'll be back. Don't worry!" Zim yells as he enters the temple. Gir, still in his deadpan mode, suddenly turns his head. He looks down, pushes a button and suddenly, the ship blasts one-thousand miles away into the sky.

Zim's backpack opens and shines lights inside the temple. He starts walking cautiously down the passages, checking his surroundings. He was noticing writings on the wall, but with his training and technology, he couldn't figure out what it meant. He was able to find a hieroglyph but he couldn't figure out the meaning behind it.

As Zim continues, he dodges various traps. A pit opens under him, but he uses his spider legs to grab the ledge before he falls to far in. He creates a force field around him from flames being blown at him. He levitates over large gaps with the help of his backpack. And even had to dodge sharks with laser beams attached to their heads.

Zim was finally at the main chamber, breathing from his last trap "SINCE WHEN ARE THERE LAND SHARKS?" Zim looks forward and sees a pouch on a pedestal. He steps up to the alter and uses all of his training that he learned when becoming an invader. Slowly and without warning, he takes the bag as quickly as possible "VICTORY!" he yells. Zim finally had the mysterious item that would help him conquer Equestria. Before he could open the glorious bag of power, a sudden shake started within the room. Within seconds, the room starts fill up from the cracks of the floor with the hot, deadly, burning, liquid that he knows as, water.

Zim looks around for a way to avoid such a gruesome fate to die by, but there were no exits. But this didn't stop Zim, he climbed as high as he could within the chamber. With his four spider legs from his backpack, he formed a laser cutter and began sawing through the walls. Each attempt seemed pointless, the walls were thicker then he anticipated. He kept searching for a thin enough wall, looking back as the water level had only about a third away from filling up the room. With a lucky break, he found a thin enough wall and broke through it. He felt the water burning him as he jumps through the hole before it could do anymore damage.

He found himself outside on top of the temple. This didn't stop him though, he ran as fast as he could off of the temple before the water over spilled onto the ceiling. Zim makes it off as the water falls off of the temple roof and onto the grass below.

Zim looks over at the quest he just accomplished, proud at the fact nothing can stop the great invader Zim. After enough gloating, he calls for his minion "GIR!" Gir was nowhere in sight "GIR! Where is that robot?"

"WEEEEEE-HUUUUUUUU!!!!" Gir yells, flying by a female pegasus. The air pressure Gir was leaving must've been strong, the mare was spinning out of control, having googly eyes on her face and what's worse, she dropped her muffin.

"Well in any case, I FOUND THE ARTIFACT" Zim yells in triumph. "I must see what it is, what it does" he says in anticipation. He opens the bag slowly and peers inside finding a tan color. He tilts the bag a bit and it shifts around like a bag of rice. Zim's face starts to fade to an appearance of worry as he stares in the bag "Wha- what is this?" He takes out a scanner and goes over the contents and the scanner tells what the strange substance is, sand. "That, that can't be" he pours out the sand, hoping something else was inside the bag. Nothing else lied withing the pouch. Zim collapsed at the outcome, why were they protecting sand? Was this journey all for nothing?

Zim took one more look inside the bag, in a desperate act to find anything and something caught his eye. It was a tag, a tag that was sowed onto the bag under all of the sand. There were letters written on it. Zim read it, it said 'Property of Daring Do'.

Zim stood up and raised his fists into the sky "CURSE YOU, DARING DO. CURSE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dirty Dogs

"Hows go search? Find any diamonds?"

"No"

"Well keep digging! We sure to find something if we ke"*BANG*

"Whats that?"

"It looks like metal."

"That can't be, its hollow. Underground metal I know is not hollow."

"But it sounds just like metal."

*BANG BANG BOOM*

"AHH!!! My hands stuck."

"Told you. Metal solid, not hollow."

"Help me guys!"

"Okay, Okay, on three. One. Two."

Zim was within one of his labs working on an attempt to try and use magic, but it seemed like he was getting nowhere. With help from a book, he was trying to levitate an apple but it just wouldn't float; it really wasn't doing anything. "Abracadabra... Wingardium Leviosa... Walla Walla Washington... FLY YOU HORRIBLE FRUIT!!!"

[INTRUDER PRESENT!] Zim's computer announced.

Zim puts down the book with a sigh "I swear, if its that pink one again."

"Whoa, this place is huge!"

"Yeah, and metal everywhere."

"Okay, I admit its metal, but what place would have metal like this?"

"Don't know, but there plenty metal for everyone back home."

"We can make new armor for everyone too."

"Let start hording!"

"What should we do about these strings?"

"Strings? What strings?"

"Their connected to the metal and very colorful."

"We don't want strings! Rip them out, get only the metal."

"Hey whats that?"

Zim enters into his sixth lab to find the intruder. To his surprise he finds three intruders, all of them dogs. Each one of them had a vest and diamond collars on and held diamonds in their pockets as well. From the looks of things, they were dissembling Zim's lair for who knows what reason.

"What is this? Get out of my lab and leave my walls and wires alone" Zim said, taking a firm stance of warning.

"What is it?" the small dog said to the other two dogs.

"I think its a bug?" the biggest dog said in response.

"I'll deal with him, you two continue working" the middle sized dog said as he went up to Zim. "Hello bug, we find metal here. We take metal for ourselves. If bug try to stop us, bug will get squished."

"Bug? I AM ZIM, and what you're tearing apart is Irken property, you have no right taking it" Zim said in anger now rising higher using his spider legs.

"Bug want to get squished?" the dog asked resilient toned.

"I AM ZZZIIIMMM" the Irken yelled as he launched himself at the dense dog. The dog stopped Zim dead in his tracks by grabbing his face in the paw of his hand. The mutt then pinned Zim down into the floor. Zim retaliated by striking at the canine with his spider legs. The dog looked at the piercing legs and grabbed them before they could push him off.

Now looking at the unique creation the dog had in its paw, he took notice "Hey! It's metal!" With that, he pulled the legs out from their socket with a hard yank, leaving only wires that connected the now separate pieces together. "What? More strings?" the dog said looking at the new minerals he obtained. He threw Zim aside and pulled out the wires that were inside the legs.

Zim gets back up, now looking at the missing parts of his backpack. "GRRR, those stink-en dogs" Zim get out a mic from what little remains of his backpack "GIR! Vandalizers are within the base. Quickly, get down here and help me defend our base!"

Up on the main floor, Gir receives a vocal communication from Zim. With eyes turning red, Gir gives a "YES SIR!" ending the communication. "I'll get the appetizers" Gir said, heading towards the kitchen.

Zim puts away the walkie-talkie and looks at the dogs "Now, I just need to at least stall them until Gir gets here." Zim looks around his laboratory at what he could use against them. The lab he was in is meant as a testing facility, in this particular lab, he was studying the components of water. He started to form a plan "Well since there here, I could try a hypothesis on them." Zim pulls a hose from a wall in his base "COMPUTER, intake the closes source of water around here and direct it to this hose."

Outside, a sleeping Rainbow Dash can be found on a cloud not far from Zim's house. A pipe-like tube comes out of Zim's house and heads towards the cloud. When it made contact, it started to intake the cloud-water that it has. As it does, the cloud started to get smaller and smaller until it was gone. The pipe then reseeds back to the base, where upon a sound of crashing can be heard from below where the cloud once was.

Zim aims the hose at the dogs, awaiting for the water "Now, lets see if they have a problem with water as well." Suddenly, the hose starts spraying water on the dogs. They reply by covering themselves with their arms and start complaining about getting sprayed, but it doesn't seem like they're in pain. The water slowly dies down, leaving only wet angry dogs staring at Zim. It looked like Zim was going to get a pummeling until a spark of hope made itself known.

Literally.

Sparks of electricity started to form near the dogs. The wires that they were tearing out was carrying an electric current and the water the dogs were sprayed with is causing a strong current between the two. The dogs were then suddenly yelling in pain as electricity was flowing through them. "AAAAAAA this hurts, stop doing this bug!" the leader of the dogs said to Zim. Zim didn't really know what to do, only to watch how this would turn out "W-We promise to leave metal alone, so please stop this." The electricity suddenly died down after a few seconds, releasing them from their 'electrical chains' and the leader spoke up "Come on, lets get out of here."

"But our metal" one dog asked.

"Forget metal, just run!" the leader said as they hightailed it through the hole they came through.

Zim starts laughing as they ran "HA HA HA HA, VICTORY! Nothing can stop Zim. NOTHING!"

[SHORT CIRCUIT. POWERING DOWN] Zim's base announced moments before it did just that.

As the lights faded, Zim gave an annoyed expression at this incident.

Three hours later~

Electricity returns to the base and Zim returns to the hole that was left by the dogs. "Okay, now that the power is restored, I can now fix the gap."

"I got punch!" Gir suddenly enters the room with the beverage. It walks over and trips on the hose that was left by Zim earlier.

Zim looks behind him and sees the punch flying toward him "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he yells before he is burned, electrocuted and having his base shut down for another three hours, - that was one heck of a punch!

JOIN US!

Today, Zim was on another one of his field studies. He was dressed up in his poorly made disguise and walks through the park to view how the ponies go through their life. Right now he was focused on a pony playing a large wooden instrument. She's a grey earth pony that has a dark grey mane and a pink bow tie on. The music she was making was beautiful, but Zim didn't pay attention to that. Zim was more focused on the stick she was holding while she was using it to rub strings on the wooden instrument.

"How in the Andromeda galaxy can she hold that thing?" Zim pondered.

Zim lost his train of thought when he heard two ponies arguing. He looked over to the two and they were young colts. One of them was a tall and skinny unicorn, with dark yellow-gold fur and turquoise mane. The other was a short and stubby unicorn, with greyish blue fur and orange-brown mane. It seemed pretty intense, so Zim decided to get closer to hear their fighting.

"Theirs no way a pony could leave town without somepony knowing" the skinny one said.

The chubby preached out "That's because he didn't leave, he blew up."

"BLEW UP?" Zim's contact pupils dilated "This seems interesting. Go on, oh bucked tooth fool."

"Blew up? Nopony can just 'blow up'."

"I can think of one."

"It's true, he exploded because he got cooties." Zim got closer and listened more intensely at the unicorn's info "It's a terrible disease that gives ponies weak legs. Then, they start sweating as they get warmer and warmer and warmer until BOOM, the heat blows them up."

This seems promising to Zim. A sickness that weakened his enemies and also doomed them, Zim smiled at the thought.

The gullible skinny colt began to buy the story "So he got the cooties and blew up!? Where did he get it from, the Everfree Forest?"

"No, he got it from here!" Zim mystified the thought "He got it from touching a girl."

"Wha- you mean theirs a girl here, in town, that has cooties?"

"Not one, EVERY GIRL HAS THEM!!!" Zim was now starting to worry "All they have to do is touch you and you'll get the cooties!!!"

Zim returned, back into his thoughts, and began to feel frightened. "E-every girl..." Zim was shifting his eyes all over the park. He noticed there were some fillies playing ball, he glanced at two mares gossiping, he stared at a mare laying its back bone on a bench. "Th-they're everywhere, those horrible disease caring mares are everywhere." Zim's legs started to shake, he even started to sweat "I'm outnumbered, I-I got to think of something, gotta get outta here before..."

"Excuse me."

Zim's head whipped around to see a young filly. She had an orange color mane that alternated streams of a tinted version and a shaded version. She had a creamy bright yellow fur and was wearing a small green sash with various patches around her waist and a green cap that seemed to fit the role of an officer or someone of command. She looks at Zim while extending a red box with a hole on top and a red heart on a small pole.

"Would you like to donate?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Zim ran screaming through the park, getting everypony's attention as he flails about.

About fifteen minutes later, the green 'pony' tired himself out. He is now leaning against a fancy looking building, regaining his composure. "To think, that these ponies have the ability to poison not only their enemies, but each other."

While Zim recharges, the door to the building he was laying against opens and three perfect specimens of cootie holders, ran outside. One of them notices Zim and stops the other two for a talk.

"There must be someway I can bypass this sickness" Zim thought to himself, but before he could think up a solution, a southern accent pony made herself known.

"Hi!" Zim turns to face three fillies staring at him. One was a orange pegasus, another was a white unicorn, and the last one that spoke up was a yellow earth pony. Despite the fact that they were 'hazardous', Zim was still recovering, so he stood on guard from any physical contact. "I haven't seen you at school before. Did ya just move here?"

It should be noted here on the height, Zim has. He's a small guy, even by the standards of his race, but he fits in pretty well when you put him on a planet full of ponies. He's about the same height of a fully grown pony... when he's standing. However, since he has to bend down to get on all fours, he's about the height of a young colt, or in this case, a little filly.

"er... no... I'm just... home schooled" Zim lied.

"You live at a school?" the earth pony questioned.

"No, no, he means that he is taught at home" the unicorn informed.

"SO THERE IS SUCH A THING!" the pegasus yelled, she looks at Zim "I bet you're an expert at 'The Legend of Luna!'"

The alien boy felt himself energized once more after his rest and decided it's time to ditch these girls "I should probably get going now."

"Wait!" the southern one said. She clears her throat and takes a pose "We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders and we were wondering" she looks over Zim's clothed body before returning to his face "do you have a cutie mark?"

"Crusaders" Zim panicked. "Forces that get rid of ponies infected by cooties?" he guessed "and they want to know if I have any!" Now Zim has trained for situations like this, when he gets under pressure in front of an enemy. He recalls his training to perform a calm, easy, understanding tone to avoid any problems.

"NOPE!NOCUTIES.I'MCLEAN,PERFECTLYCLEAN.NOMARKSOFANYCUTIESHERE.NOTHING!"

The girls start to light up, "Really, do you wanna join us?"

Seeing that his training paid off, Zim pursued the topic with confidence "Join... you?"

"Yeah, we can help each other at getting our cutie marks."

Obviously, this left Zim baffled "Why would you want to obtain, cooties?"

"Why? So we can find out our special talent, that's why."

The the white unicorn followed up "Yeah, haven't you ever wanted to get a cool looking cutie mark on your flank?"

"Like getting one for skate boarding" the orange one replied.

"Or one for drawing" said the leader.

"Maybe one for writing stories!" the unicorn spoke up again.

While they were going through the list of possible choices, Zim started to make sense at what they were talking about. He looked back and forth between the flanks of the adults and the three girls before him. "I see, these girls wish to reach puberty by receiving an emblem. They will only get in my way of concurring Equestria, thanks but I'll have to pass."

The girls broke the conversation they were having "What? But, don't you want to get a cutie mark?"

"I do not worry over such silly things" the Irken walked away "I, ZIM, have better things to do."

The three girls sat in front of the Carousel Boutique, disappointed at Zim's choice. "Silly, getting a cutie mark is silly?"

"No way," one of them said "getting a cutie mark is anything, but, silly. He probably doesn't know how important they really are, possibly from all of that home schooling."

"Playing too much 'Super Flimflam Bros.' can do that."

"Hey! Why don't we show him how important they are." The other two gave a bizarre look at her "Think about it, if we tell him on how important it is to get a cutie mark, then we could possibly get a new member and quite possibly get our cutie marks in the processes."

"How can we get cutie marks from this?"

"We can be Cutie Mark Recruiters! We could be good at getting ponies interested in stuff!"

The other two gave some thought at the idea "Yeah... YEAH! We could get a lot of others interested in a variety of things!"

"Like getting others interested into the 'Running of the Leaves'!"

"Or interested into making a float for the 'Summer Harvest Parade'!"

"Or even interested in that one show about the boy with that white hat!"

"We have to be REALLY good to get anypony interested in that pile of manure!"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER RECRUITERS!"

Somewhere within the calm streets of Ponyville, Zim has encountered another problem. He's hiding behind a barrel and is looking at the most horrifying looking creature he's ever seen. The creature itself is also staring back at Zim with vicious eyes that were envisioning the ways on how to mutilate its victim.

Sheer madness.

The girls caught up to Zim and they viewed at what he was looking at. He was glaring at a dog as if his life depend on it. The three fillies imitated the same pose Zim was making and got beside him to stare at the canine. "You planning to get a cutie mark in dog catching?"

"No" he replied, still staring at the dog.

"Oh..."

The starring continued.

"Are you trying to get a cutie mark at being a dog expert?"

"No."

"Okay..."

The horrifying battle of stares went on.

"Is this because you might be a dog pony?"

Zim stepped back and looked at the girls "What's a dog pony?"

The white unicorn spoke up "You know, do you like dogs or do you like cats" she pulls out a furry creature that has a bored expression and a purple bow tied up on its head.

Zim is taken back by this new creature and fears on what it might do. He looks at the unicorn who seems to be giving a signal towards Zim at taking the fur ball. As Zim stretches out his arm towards it, the cat starts hissing and jumps out of the pony's arms and onto Zim's face. It then starts scratching Zim as he screams and runs around in agonizing pain, trying to get the little devil off.

The girls began their attempts of getting the ferocious feline off him, but after a while the cat jumped down and scurried away by its own accord.

Zim peered at the fleeing cat through his 'hooves' "I'LL SHOW YOU TO A HUNGRY MELMACIAN, YOU LITTLE VERMIN!" He then turns his gaze at the ponies "WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?"

"We're here to show you how great it is at having a Cutie Mark!" the yellow earth pony proclaimed proudly.

Zim gritted his teeth, saying "I told you, I DON'T WANT ONE!" Suddenly, he was scooped up onto a chair by the white unicorn.

The orange pegasus was standing in front of Zim, holding a pointer in her mouth and tapped the end of it on a board stand with symbols and ponies on it.

"That's where your wrong" the yellow one continued while walking up to the board "getting a Cutie Mark can help show you what your talent is."

"I ALREADY KNOW WHAT MY TALENT IS!" Zim yelled.

"Yo... you do? What is it?"

"It's... Wait, I can't tell them I'm an invader." The fillies were leaning in closer for a response "It's... it's none of your business."

"Oh please" the orange one mocked "your not fooling anypony."

"It doesn't matter" he jumps of the chair "I don't want a Cutie Mark and, nothing, you say or do can change my mind."

Zim walks away, but the white unicorn got in front of him. "Please... won't you join up with us" she was getting close to Zim, giving off the best puppy eyes she could muster.

These 'pleading eyes' could give anyone with a consciences a hard time at fighting against, but this expression was... well... alien to him. So alien in fact, it didn't even phase him. Her eyes were no big deal, her proximity on the other hand...

"She's so close" Zim panicked "any closer and I might get cooties from her." Zim began to walk the other way until...

"Please?" the other two were giving the same expression and getting closer.

"Their ganging up on me. I... I HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE!" Zim bolted out of their circle "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU SMELL LIKE GLUE!"

The girls wouldn't take no for an answer and chased after him. "COME ON, YOU'LL LIKE BEING A CRUSADER! YOU GET A COOL CAPE AND A AWESOME NICKNAME! WE COULD CALL YOU GRASSHOPPER; THAT SOUNDS LIKE A COOL NICKNAME, RIGHT APPLE CORE? SURE DOES CHICKEN WING!" they were yelling out at Zim.

Zim ran for his life through ally ways in search of his base. "Where is it? Where is it? All of these buildings look the same!" he was thinking before ultimately blocked by a dead end. He looked back to see the girls slowly walking up to him, still pleading for his acceptance. As Zim saw his life slowly coming to an end... his legs started to weaken. It gave way before he began sweating bullets. With each step they took, Zim was getting warmer and warmer and warmer! "I can feel it! I can feel them using their cootie sickness to make me explode!" Zim's mind was in such a fury, that he couldn't think of a way out of this. Except for one.

"ALRIGHT!" Zim yelled, halting the crusaders "I'll join"

"You, you mean it?" Zim nodded. "YAY!" The girls yelled before looking at their flanks to see nothing there. They looked down in disappointment before returning their attention to Zim "Alright, meet us at Town Hall tomorrow morning and well take you to the club house, ah..." the yellow one that was speaking stopped and stared into space before continuing "say, what's you name?"

"Zim, my names Zim" he replied, to irritated at his submission to proclaim his name proudly.

"I'm Scootaloo" said the orange pegasus.

"I'm Sweetie Belle" said the white unicorn.

"And I'm Apple Bloom" said the yellow earth pony "meet up with us tomorrow Zim and we'll make you a crusader" she said before the rest of the fillies galloped about their previous business.

"I must find a cure for this disease" Zim uttered under his breath.

The next day, after the pledge~

Zim's first day as a crusader was a Cutie Mark Crusader Alien Hunters.

Author's Note

Pinkie Pie image by MoongazePonies.

Sick as a Dog

"But the ponies do it all the time" the doggy-suit wearing Gir said.

"I don't care what the ponies get to do, I'm not allowing it" Zim said in a parental tone to his minion. They were both on the main floor to the base in their disguises as they argued.

"But I want to go dancing NAKED!!!"

"When you're above ground you have to wear your disguise and that's final, do I make myself clear?"

"No."

"TOO BAD!!!" The Irken yelled before storming deeper into his base.

Gir sit down on the floor, starring into space. He didn't make a sound, just stayed silent. "...........SQUIDZY!!!" he yells, before doing a back-flip out of an open window and into a trash can. The robot digs into the trash, his suit getting filthy as he traveled deeper. He pops out of the garbage with a toy that looks like a purple squid giving a blank expression. "SQUIDZY!!!!!!!" Gir rejoiced from finding his toy, he celebrated by eating it.

"Oh my, a green doggy!" A soft motherly voice said at the corner of the street Gir was on. She was a buttery fur colored mare and was fluttering in the air with the help of her wings when she saw the green 'doggy'. She flew over to Gir and moves her long pink mane out of her cyan eyes "You poor thing, you must be terribly sick if your fur has turned green." The robot takes a second to view the pegasi mare before he dives into the garbage again. "Oh please don't be scared, I'm not going to hurt you" she told and Gir comes back up chewing on something crunchy. "My name is Fluttershy and, that is... if you like, you can come home with me. I'll nurse you back to health and we can find you a nice pony to adopt you."

"Okie dokie lokie" the robot said without giving a second thought (or any at that).

Fluttershy wasn't expecting such a direct answer from the 'puppy'. She flies closer; viewing him more thoroughly "Did, did you just.... talk?"

"It's a secret to everypony" Gir whispered.

The mare was gifted with the talent to understand animals by their yips and yells, but she never met an animal that could speak in her language before. Fluttershy just shrugs it off and places the 'puppy' on her back "I think understanding animals is becoming second nature to me."

The two arrived at a cottage covered in greenery. Flowers at the windows, bushes against the outside walls and the house itself looked like a short, chubby tree; using the leaves as roofing tiles. They entered the house and Fluttershy laid Gir on the sofa before giving him a blanket. "There, now make yourself comfortable while I go and get the thermometer" the yellow caretaker said before she flew into the kitchen.

Throwing the advice aside, the green 'puppy' sat up to view the room. Everything had a old fashion feel to it, from having a brick made oven to its carved wood work. Pet baskets scattered the floor while the ceiling was holding bird houses. It didn't take long before he got the attention of one of the residents that lived here. Jumping onto the sofa, a furry white rabbit stared at this odd creature that looks like a puppy. Gir was watching it come closer to scan him. It was raising an eyebrow and wondered if this 'pup' was for real. The rabbit didn't get to much time to think before Gir grabbed and started dancing with it. Being swung around, the rabbit was flailing in a panic as the robot lead on.

Fluttershy entered the room a few minutes later; she didn't even notice the rabbit resting on a bird swing. "Now keep this in your mouth for a while little guy" she said, placing a thermometer in the 'puppy's' mouth. The rabbit hops up to the nurturing pegasus and started tapping rapidly to get her attention. She looks down and sees the rabbit make various gestures that kept pointing to Gir. "He's a very sick puppy I found in an ally. He'll be staying with us for a while, so be nice to him while he's here" Fluttershy told the bunny; she returned to the 'puppy' to find him gone.

"EEEEEEEIIIIII HHHHHHOOOOOOOO" Gir yells, running around the room. He was crashing into stuffs and scaring the animals in the house. That white rabbit hops and makes an amazing jump to the perch it was just on, avoiding any collisions before "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Gir starts running up the wall and onto the ceiling. The bunny dives for Fluttershy and hides; cowering on her back.

Fluttershy was also starting to worry about her furniture and friends "Y-you should really settle down s-s-so you can get all nice and healt- PUT DOWN THE COFFEE TABLE!!!" Gir throws the table through the closed window, scattering glass across the lawn.

"We're gonna have picnic!" Gir says joyfully.

Fluttershy was losing control of the situation, she needed to get Gir to settle down NOW! It hurts her to consider using force on the 'puppy', but she had to use... it. Fluttershy planted herself in Gir's way, looked into the robot's stitched costume's eyes, and gave a fearful looking Stare. "Stop!" she commanded and the rampaging 'puppy' slides to a halt. "Now I want you to settle down so you can get better, understand?" She continues using the Stare on Gir. His response was by putting the thermometer in Fluttershy's mouth and running out the door screaming. The yellow mare stared at the door Gir just ran out "I never met an animal who was unmoved by my Stare before" she told the rabbit on her back.

*Bawk BAWKAAAWWW!!!!* chickens could be heard outside.

Fluttershy galloped to her chicken coop to see Gir chasing after the chickens. "Puppy, puppy stop! Leave them alone" she lifts Gir out of the fenced area and settle down the hens. "Everything's okay Henrietta, nothing to worry about Prissy, you don't need to scream anymore Cojiro..... where's Elizabeak?"

"CHICKEN!!!" now she heard Gir's voice echoing from the Everfree Forest. Fluttershy took no moment of pause and soars into the forest bravely.

Elizabeak is flapping her wings as Gir was laughing; running after the hen. She soon met a face that was more frightening then Gir's. Elizabeak quickly spun around and flaps over the robot, leaving him with his new 'friend'. Gir slowed down while a fowl looking face slithered towards him. With it's sharp petrifying eyes, a cockatrice was glaring at the robot. Gir stared back and then...

"CHICKEN NOODLE!!!" started chasing after the cockatrice. Apparently, cockatrices can only effect organic creatures. For the first time in its life, the cockatrice was now the prey.

Fluttershy (having Elizabeak resting on her head) flies to witness this bizarre situation. It was like a screwed up cat and mouse game that she, being the peacemaker as she is, had to stop. "No, no, no, leave the crossbreed alone puppy" the mare pulling back the robot. The chicken-serpent fled into the bushes and Fluttershy went the other way, holding Gir. "You're a real hoofful" she said to the squirming 'puppy'.

Fluttershy is back home with an energetic Gir in her hooves, trying to escape her grasp. "This is hopeless" she thought "I have to try and get him to wear himself out somehow. What to do? What to..... DO!" Fluttershy holds Gir out "Okay puppy" she begins to say calmly "I'll let you do whatever you want." She places Gir down "But before you do" the robot turns around to see what she wants "I want you to tell me what you're going to do first."

Gir smiles and says "I'm going to milk a cow!!!"

Fluttershy grinned and asked "Oh really! Are you planning to do anything else after that?"

Gir smirked and told "I'm gonna ride a tree!!!!!!"

Fluttershy beamed and questioned "Uh huh, anything more?"

"I'm gonna eat some butterflies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"It's working" Fluttershy thought on this rolling streak "If he keeps telling me on all the things he's going to do, he'll eventually wear himself out." "Please go on. I want to know everything you plan on doing."

Gir then told everything about his plan "Going to dress like a feather and run until I throw up and pick someone's nose and mail myself to the moon and start working on my twenty-year plan and do the Mario and trim a MuuMuu's palm tree and help the Parasprites and be a wig doner andhugSlendermareandpaintthegrassandchewonadogandsearchforaTropiusandyouwerethinkingofsomethingdirtyamomentagoweren'tyaandlkjcvoinzdfvnsrnvizmcvksnfvznfignsfivnsonvizcawqpzkxhisndiufhaiefhaiudhcviuszdhviuzvfisfiphvidhviauenadbcaljwbcjasdhcuzdher*BOOOMM!!!!!*"

"PUUUPPPPPYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!" Fluttershy yells when Gir's head explodes. Tears start to form in her eyes at the misfortune that fell before her... but something stopped her tears. When the smoke cleared, she saw Gir dancing headless. It wasn't painful gestures but various dance moves from posing in a show off style to forming letters with his arms; which were P O N A. "A............a..............a......." was all Fluttershy could manage saying before her mind went out and fainted.

Hours later, she was awoken by her white rabbit. "Wha... a.. Angel?" she begins to sit up "what happen?" Angel begins to make many poses as he tries to tell the story. "Is... is the green puppy still here?" the rabbit shook its head from side to side "I see." Fluttershy gets up and walks slowly out of the room "I'm sorry Angel, but I need to lie down for a while."

"I don't feel so good."

I AM INVADER, HEAR ME SCREAM!

Down within the interior of Zim's base, a conversation of the highest rankings is taking place. Zim was having a conversation with the almighty tallests; one of the few special individuals that towered among the little people, literally. They're the Irkens' leaders that lead the conquest for Impending Doom 2; which mostly entails watching planets being wiped clean of life, eating snacks, and checking up on invaders' progress at finding planet weaknesses. Although, the current conversation they're having was actually started by Zim, not by Tallest Red or Tallest Purple. The leaders found Zim to be a nuisance and never checked up on him. They might get some enjoyment out of seeing Zim's explanations to his terrible plans, his frustrations at failed plans, or his painful sufferings; but lately "And then we tried to become master chiefs" it seems Zim is enjoying his life lately.

"I was tasked with making sandwiches" Zim described, "they had to be made with extra precaution and the up most care, otherwise the ingredients will go flying everywhere. Do you know how hard it is to keep the oats from falling out?"

Purple didn't seem impressed "Anyone can make a sandwich, which reminds me." He looks among his men "You, go make me a sandwich."

"You make it sound like your having fun there" Red wondered aloud.

"It's no vacation, I assure you" replied the invader. "The very fact that their technology is so primitive makes things even harder to live with."

"That's no excuse," Purple mocked "getting-by without tech is easy."

"My Tallest" a worker announced "the sandwich making machine is broken."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!!! How will we ever make sandwiches again????"

Red watches his friend's mental breakdown for a few seconds before returning back to Zim. "I think what Purple is trying to say is that you're taking your mission to leisurely. Your an Invader, not a young pony having fun with his friends. Next time you call, we want to hear some promising words that hold some kind of weakness or quite possibly your death record. End communication."

Zim was shocked from what his leader said. Him? Not taking his mission seriously? He refused to believe it! The very thought of becoming just like a pony disgusted him. "I need to prove to them somehow that I take my mission seriously" the invader began to conjure up a plan. "If I remember the tactics of Invader Drill of planet Bradraybury, then I should try to get some information from the youth, like those girls. Which reminds me" he gets on his disguise "I gotta get going!" He gallops out of the room, up the elevator and out the front door.

The house was silent now. Zim just left and Gir jumped through the window an hour ago to have his own adventure. The house was empty before an unknown intruder popped it's head through the open window "..........Hello♥!" the intruder being none other then the energetic Pinkie Pie. "Hello? Gir? Zim?" she jumps through the window "Where is everypony?" She folds her forelegs and was giving a puzzled look as she went in thought.

While she pondered, her mane shook and out came a dead expressionless creature. It was tumbling out landed on the floor with its chin hitting first. It was a reptilian creature with light green skin and pale purple eyes. It got up on four legs and waddled its way towards the mare that questioned.

Pinkie noticed the critter looking at her "Do you know where Zim is, Gummy?"

Gummy stood up on his hind legs and the mare could understand what it was saying.

She slapped a hoof against her forehead "The computer room, of course!"

Pinkie headed down into the base and headed towards the room in question. Right when she met the door, she found black furry object stuck in the door. The pony crawled closer the weird object and poked it a few times; it didn't move. She pulled on it and it came out from the door. It was long black bundle of strands that look like hair, the type of hair that reminds one of a green 'pony.'

"Is this Zim's-" Pinkie stopped her train of thought as a tiny smile began to form on the party pony. The very thought of what she had to do next was unbearable and that smile slowly grew to a full wide grin.

Zim gallops, at least to the best of his efforts, through town to meet up with the Cutie Mark Crusaders near the clubhouse. You may be wondering why the alien is heading towards the disease carrying fillies in the first place; well turns out (as I'm sure many of you may have already figure out already..... I hope) cooties are a delusional illness. Zim felt like an idiot for falling for such a trick, but soon began to think of it as a blessing in disguise. The CMC's attempts at getting their Cutie Marks through various productive activities gave Zim an insight on what ponies did for a living. The knowledge would then be used to destroy the society from within when he gets an idea. Though ironically, the other crusaders seem to be doing a fine job of doing just that by themselves.

The 'pony' arrived to meet the group gathered against the bottom ramp to the clubhouse. They greeted Zim with a weak acknowledgment, the girls seemed deep in thought "What's going on?"

"Well..." Applebloom began "we've tried just about everything to get our cutie marks."

"And we can't think of anything else to try" Scootaloo picked up from where her friend stopped.

"Do you have any ideas, Zim?" Sweetie finished off.

This question enthralled Zim. If he played his cards right, he could get his conquest started. "Alright Zim," he mentally coach himself "you need to be specific... why don't we... but not too specific... find some kind of... something they wont question and accept easily... .........bug in Equestria?" he ended the

The girls' eyes widened at Zim's suggestion.

"You know," Applebloom began to wonder "my sister did say she saw a weird bug near the orchard. Said it was like a critter she never seen before."

The other two fillies began to lighten up "We should look for it!" Scootaloo nearly shouted.

"If we can find something that is rarely seen, then we could get a cutie mark at being experts at tracking things down!" Sweetie Belle chimed in.

Applebloom joined in as well "Yeah, you're right!"

Zim wasn't planning for something like this and begin hitting is head upon a nearby tree for putting the idea into their heads in the first place.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER TRACKERS!" the girls cheered.

"Trackers? So you guys are planning to be dogs? HA!"

All four of them looked at the source of the remark and saw two fillies that had a high class feel to them. The one who spoke was a pale magenta earth pony with a grayish purple mane holding a few white streaks in it, she seemed to be very show-boasting with that prideful smirk she was giving.

Where this filly was outgoing, the other filly was hardly noticeable with her gray coat and mane. She wore glasses and a necklace on her figure that gave a feel like she was a secretary, ghost writer, or some kind of pony that just blended in with the popular click.

"You'll never get your cutie marks" the pink one mocked further.

"Be quiet," Scootaloo lashed back "we'll get our cutie marks sooner then you know!"

"Right and Pinkie Pie isn't a stalker" she replied with a sarcastic tone.

Her statement was proven true as Pinkie Pie pops her head out of a bush. Her eyes were focused with anticipation at Zim's rear.

The alien didn't pick up on this observation as he was doing an observation of his own. He views the two new fillies with wonder at what connection they may have with the CMC. He leaned towards Sweetie Belle "Who's that?"

"That's Diamond Tiara" she replied, "don't mind her, she's just a bully."

"Bull-e?" Zim questioned and scanned over Tiara one more time. "I can't see any electronic features about her, but I do notice some bovine characteristics."

Sweetie Belle giggled "It's probably around the horn section."

Zim viewed the head particularly after that and noticed that she was wearing a diamond tiara. "Wait, is this the bull-e? It could house electronic elements after all." he wondered at which diamond tiara Sweetie was talking about.

While he wondered at the possibility of the trinket being Tiara, the real Tiara looked back at him "Who's he? Another blank flank?"

Applebloom grit her teeth "You leave Zim alone!" She wouldn't allow them to insult her new friend.

"Zim huh?" Tiara rubbed her chin menacingly "What is he, you're coltfriend?"

The very thought of the proposal made Applebloom blush "N-no!"

Which caused Tiara and her friend to mock further "Zim and Applebloom, laying underneath a tree. F-U-C-"

"ENOUGH!" Zim yelled to obtain control in the conversation. It seemed to have worked as all eyes were on him. He approached Tiara with an unamused look on his face "While I commend you of your tactics at showing superiority and your intriguing ability at spelling; I will not stand by and have you insult my subordinates."

All the fillies were giving each other a confused expression. Some were wondering what he was saying as the others were wondering at what he meant.

"I must ask you to leave us as we execute our plan at getting marking upon our posterior."

The Crusaders began to think that Zim was pretty cool for confronting her in a mature way.

"Go take Diamond Tiara and your servant else where. We have more important things to do then to spend time with y-EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" the Irken suddenly screamed with pain up into the air, holding onto his rear.

Right behind where he was standing, Pinkie Pie was sitting on her rump with a proud smile on her face. "I win, I win!" she says with laughter and the clopping of her hooves by her successful and literal attempt at 'Pinning the Tail on the Pony.'

The two high-class fillies began to laugh at Zim's suffering. "He must be in your group," Tiara said "being a freak, he'll fit in perfectly."

The alien froze in fear that his cover was starting to break. "NO NO, I'M NOT A FREAK, I'M NORMAL! See, look....." he bent down and was giving a tiny grim look for his following action. Zim opened his jaw, clenched it onto some grass, and pulled it out from the ground. He chewed it giving an disgusted expression at his actions "See, I eat grass. I'M NORMAL!"

Any interesting feature the crusaders had a moment ago was now gone and replaced with embarrassment.

"Peh, what pony eats grass?" Tiara mocked "Come on Silver Spoon, let's leave these weirdos alone."

As she was leaving, Zim couldn't help but feel that she had the stronger respect amongst the both of them. He felt that his identity was hidden for another day, but it cost him a bit of his pride for it. "That vile Glukkon" he murmured with disgust under his voice.

"Don't let her get to ya, Zim" Applebloom reassured him.

"She's like that with everypony" informed Scootaloo.

"And she enjoys getting under other ponies' skin" Sweetie Belle detailed. "Just forget about her."

Zim didn't seemed like he wanted to forget about it, judging by his ornery face.

"Come on" the country filly said "let's split up and look for that critter. It'll get our minds off of Tiara."

With another scream of their new crusading title, they split up to search for the bug; making more ground at finding the little vermin. This allowed the green 'pony' to have a time of reflection. The thoughts of the last few hours that have past as he tread through the forest. "Perhaps the tallests were right. Maybe I am taking this mission too casually." He began cursing the thought "Having some pathetic pony proclaim that she was better then a mighty Irken soldier."

Zim stopped and began questioning "Am I not Irken? Master of all races? Don't they grovel at my feet or else be destroyed?"

As he debated at what he was, a small creature appeared from behind a tree. The creature was like a ladybug with its red shell on its back, but another feature would make you question on what species it was. It had a head of a cat, a light blue colored fur cat head with a ladybug shell on its back, quite an oddity it was. The creature stood up on two legs and waved its hands in the air with a friendly smile "Hello, I'm Catbug. What's yo-"

Over at Fluttershy's cottage, an angry Angel Bunny successfully kicks a headless 'puppy' outside. He pats his paws at a job well done, but was suddenly spooked by a tremor. He looks about and notices a large cloud in the distance in the shape of a mushroom, then he was suddenly tackled by the 'puppy' he just kicked out.

The surrounding area was a dead waste land holding nothing but a dust cloud in the air. As the dust cleared apart, a cold expression was plastered on fast triggering Zim, holding a ray gun that caused the sudden dust cloud. The strange creature from moments before was now gone from sight. The only thing that was left of it was an image of its shadow embedded upon a nearby rock.

"YES!" the alien yelled "I am Irken, and no pony, sparkling trinket, or feline parasite can tell me otherwise!"

Near minutes later, a trio of scared fillies came galloping as fast as they could towards their friend. "Zim!!! Are you okay?" Applebloom asked for the rest of the other girls. They were squinting through what little dust their was that's still air-born "What happen here?"

Zim didn't really pay no mind to their worried expressions, none the less, he still acknowledge the question "Don't worry, everything's fine."

"Just saw a cockroach is all."

Author's Note

During the commentary of the episode 'Bestest Friend,' Jhonen said that he really wanted that 'eye popping scene' to be in it. Guess which segment I really wanted.:pinkiecrazy:

I can what it might have been like when Zim got home.
Zim: Gir, I've realized that lately I hav- WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?!?!
*At Fluttershy's cottage, Angel hangs up the trophy of the 'puppy' he just conquered.*

I guess I should also state that no pony obtain any radiation poisoning. How you may ask? Well....