The Day the OC was Canceled: A Parody
(256 boring chapters into the story)
Nightshade Darkstar strode through Canterlot castle. The bat winged, black and red demon alicorn was dripping with blood. Not his blood, mind you, but the blood of the abomination he had just crushed under his hooves. His powerful mind contemplated deep thoughts as his titanic body carried him to his room. After he showered off, he would go see if any of the princesses wanted sex. Hopefully, he could get a royal four way. If not, he could go sleep with any of the hundreds of mares and stallions in his harem who had inexplicably fallen in love with him the moment they first saw him. Good thing he couldn't get any of them pregnant.
As he was walking down the hall, he heard a scream. One of the castle maids was being chased by shadow beasts! Quickly, his three horns lit up and the beasts exploded in a fountain of blood.
"Thank you, Nightshade Darkstar. Please, take my virginity for saving my life," the maid cooed, giving the alicorn bedroom eyes. Nightshade smirked; he could always shower with her.
[A/N: Ok, I'm bored. This is no fun to write. I give up.
On second thought... Let's end this fic in style. Good bye fourth wall! Hello self insert!]
A lone figure appeared in the halls of Canterlot Castle. A guard entered the hall and passed the figure, oblivious to his presence. The figure turned and walked down the hall. His two legs carried him straight to the dining hall, despite never having been there before.
When he arrived, his hand pushed open the door. None of the four alicorns in the room noticed him enter.
The figure clapped his hands and music filled the air. The four, noticing the music, were startled. They looked around and spotted the human standing by the door.
"What?!? A human? How did you get here?" Nightshade asked. “Unless somepony summoned you, there’s no way a human should be in Equestria!”
[A/N: You know, there's a line in that song that is so applicable right now. It's 'Bore him and you will find you're crumpled up and thrown away.' I do love that song,] the human spoke, completely ignoring Nightshade's question.
"I asked you a question. Answer me!" Nightshade roared. The alicorn stood and took an aggressive stance. The human only raised an eyebrow.
[A/N: Sit, Alex. I am the one in charge here.]
The alicorn found himself unable to stand any longer. He sat down and no matter how hard he tried, Nightshade just couldn't stand again. "How did you know my real name? I've never told anypony that," he said, stupefied.
[A/N: Hmmm... Let's get Pinkie Pie to answer that. Pinkie...] the human spoke, reaching behind his back and pulling out the confused pink mare. [Be a dear and tell them who I am, please?]
Pinkie stared at the human until she was overcome by the biggest pinkie sense doozy she had ever had. "Y-y-y-your t-t-the author!" she shouted, "you're going to cancel this story, aren't you?"
[A/N: Yes, Pinkie. I am. My name is wille179. You may call me Will, if you wish. I'm done with this story, but I just wanted to have a last laugh. So here I am. As soon as I'm done, it's the end of the world. You bored me, Nightshade. I'm crumpling you up and throwing you away.]
"Ha! How can a measly human like you possibly end the world? You're no match for my might. I'm the strongest being in the universe!" Nightshade yelled.
[A/N: A normal pony is rank 0. A royal guard is rank 1. The members Elements of Harmony are rank 2. Twilight, Cadence, and Queen Chrysalis are all rank 3 or 4. Luna and Celestia are rank 5. You, Nightshade, are rank 6. That's the level of a boring protagonist. I'm rank 7, because I'm a normal human.]
"Is that some sort of power scale?" Twilicorn asked.
[A/N: Yes, It's the super weight scale. Go look at Tvtropes]
"How can you possibly be stronger than me?" Nightshade asked. “You’re just human!”
[A/N: I’m so powerful because I'm just a normal human. I'm fat, I have zits, I have decent grades, and I don't have a girlfriend. My brother is depressed, my sister is a misanthrope. I live in the suburbs of a normal city. You are a Gary Stu. By definition, you are too perfect and strong to exist in the real world. Therefore, this is a work of fiction, as implied by your mere existence. Since this world is the creation of an author, he can write himself in, breaching the fourth wall. And here I am. Goodbye,] Wille179 said.
The alicorn charged the human, but froze mid air. "How are you doing this?" he screamed. Wille179 didn't respond. All of the demon alicorn's limbs were ripped off, blood flowing freely.
[A/N: You will continue to bleed until I say you can die. I can make anyone say or do anything I want. The rules of this reality bend to my will. There is nothing you can do, my creation.]
"Yes, master," the alicorn was forced to say.
[A/N: Always wanted someone to say that to me...]
By this point, the reality of the situation hit Twilight, Celestia, and Luna like a ton of bricks.
"If your going to end the world, do we die with it?" Luna asked.
[A/N: No, this is a parody. The original versions of you will continue on. Only Nightshade Darkstar will cease to exist.]
The demon alicorn's heart beat once more and stopped forever.
[A/N: I'm bored. I'm going to go work on Twilight's Secret now.]
<>
His mouse clicked, uploading his last chapter. A few more clicks and the story was set from 'incomplete' to 'canceled.'
The author went on to other things, unaware of the black and red alicorn standing directly behind him.
"Hehehehe...."
Author's Note
So, My first parody Fic.
*Ding* Have a one shot + self insert.
Hey, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR STORY! I CANCELED YOU!
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