Ghost's Zany Trip Into Bronyland.
It was a normal Summer day in good ol’ Austin, Texas, in a beautiful skylight office, we have Ghost, doing a regular broadcast of ‘True Capitalist Radio’.
Ghost does his regular schedule for the broadcast, The Markets, where he rants on the major stock entities. Next, he discusses world news and other stories, then he does his Twitter/Chatroom shoutouts which are roaringly funny, and finally Radio Graffiti starts.
“Alright it’s time for everyone’s favorite part of the broadcast, and I’m talking about RADIO GRAFFITI,” Ghost says with his trademark elated voice. “That’s right folks, its time for Radio Graffiti that part of the broadcast where the spectators become a part of the spectacle. And when I call your Skype name or area code, you will have about 3 to 4 seconds where you say WHATEVER is on your mind. Anyway, without any further ado. Let’s get into it RIGHT NOW!”
“Uhh... area code 617, Radio Graffiti,” Ghost calls out.
“SUCK MY DICK! SUCK MY DICK! SUCK MY DICK,” 617 said with great exquisiteness.
“OH GODDAMMIT GET EM’ OUTTA HERE,”Ghost replies in a pitiful rage, I MEAN THE FIRST ONE! THE FIRST ONE! I MEAN.....Ugh, ENGINEER, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SCREENING THESE CALLS! WHAT’RE YOU DOING!?”
The Engineer calls out in an incomprehensive diatribe, which is impossible for the greatest of minds to decipher, other than Ghost of course.
“WELL DO YOUR JOB!” Ghost was already getting furious.
“Area code 614, Radio Graffiti.” Ghost reluctantly said.
“Oh Ghost, how about you come and bathe with me in my tub, it’ll be totally legit! Oh my!”
The sound of water hitting the floor inside a bathtub was almost too easy to identify. Ghost knew exactly who this is, it was the one, the only: Tub Guy.
The events that followed after this were almost unexpected, and rather scary, yet completely hilarious to the other listeners. Ghost literally started a tornado of beer cans, the cans that were being tossed around like leaves in the wind.
“Wait, w-what the h-h-hell?” Ghost was stuttering and muttering out. His beer cans started to swirl in a clockwise motion, and they started glowing a blue hue, a portal to somewhere had appeared in the office, Ghost was just perplexed at what he saw, Ghost was very slowly moving up to it, he was a little terrified although intrigued at what he saw, the other side of the portal looked rather cartoonish, and colorful. But, something happened, the portal started sucking everything in, empty beer cans, Ghost’s mic, and some unopened beer cans.
“ARGHHHHH!”, Ghost was furiously trying to pull himself back into the other side of the dimension portal. But, it was closing at a rather fast pace, Ghost had no choice but to let go and accept what was going to happen.
Everything was just a daze after that, Ghost had many thoughts racing through his head, and memories, he had always dreamt about his father giving him his first taste of Johnny Walker Fifth Harvest. He had the memory of working for the New World Order and gaining his reptilian shapeshifting powers. Then he woke up to a feminine voice, it sounded very fruity.
“Oh my! Are you okay?” the voice said with a timid, and fruity expression.
“Ah’m not sure”, the other fruity voice said.
Ugh, what happened, and what’s up with these fruity-ass voices? Jesus Christ... is this Tri$ha the transtesticle? God dammit.
“Who the hell are you skanks, are you both Tri$ha?” Ghost asked redundantly.
“Ah’m not sure who this Tri$ha character is, but Ah’m Applejack, and uh, this is Fluttershy,”
Ghost mind went blank, he’s heard of those names before, yet he couldn’t remember where. He rubbed his eyes, but he felt something different than fingers, He had felt a round flat foot.
“No. No! NO! WHY ME?! NOW I’M A FUCKING PONY? WHAT HAVE THESE BRONY FRUITS DONE TO ME,” Ghost stammered and panicked like never before, even more than when his Grandmother was killed by Ghost’s father from a shrimp accident. Ghost had a white coat and a dark brown mane, and a fedora much like the one that Applejack was wearing, but Ghost had a jet black one. And his cutie mark had his profile image for it.
“Why am I a goddamn pony? What did I do to deserve this?! WHY OF ALL THE PLACES, DO I HAVE TO END UP HERE IN BRONYLAND!?” Ghost was starting another panic attack.
“Uh, mister, what exactly is a Brony?” Fluttershy finally said.
“Don’t let me tell you, I’ll get way too jaded” Ghost replied with an exasperated sigh.
“Alright then” Fluttershy was obviously too nervous to ask.
Ghost got up on his four legs, wobbled a bit. And walked off, he got used to it fast somehow. Ghost kept walking for an eternity for what it felt like, and finally ended up in the outskirts of some backwater town. He walked up to a sign that said Ponyville.
“Oh how quaint” Ghost thought to himself, expecting the worst to happen.
He walked into town, getting stares from most of the ponies that were watching him. Most didn’t actually care, but it made Ghost feel like shit. One pony walked up to him, with a grin from ear to ear.
“HI! MY NAME IS PINKIE PIE AND I HEARD YOU WERE NEW TO PONYVI-”
“Shut. Up.” Ghost said with the most manliness voice he could muster up.
“Oh...alright then...” The pink pony slowly walked away in tears and sniffles.
“Ah, whatever,” Ghost said coldly.
Ghost walked around Ponyville aimlessly for hours, he didn't really know what to do, but he at least wanted to know how to get back to Texas, but how exactly did anyone know how to send him back? Ghost certainly didn’t know who. Ghost had no other options but to ask some ponies where he could find the smartest person in town. And all of them pointed Ghost to the large oak tree where a certain unicorn lived, Ghost didn’t care to know who but just wanted to learn how to return back.
Ghost walked up to the tree, and knocked on the door.
“Hello”
