Plumbing in Equestria: Explained by Princess Celestia

by TheChroniclerPrincess

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Comedy
Length: 1021

Explains how ponies' bodily functions work

This is a story basically answering all of the questions out there as to how ponies process various kinds of bodily functions, as well as a brief history of ponies as told by Princess Celestia.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-17 19:40:01 UTC

How it All Works

A Brief Introduction

Why hello my faithful subjects. It is always such a joy to have you around and get to know you all. For the time being, my sister Luna and I have been getting to know eachother all over again. I know that we have been around for thousands of years, and I am always happy to share my wisdom with all of you! Recently *blushes* there have been some requests that have come to my attention and I have chosen to get them out of the way before I return to my royal duties. And so without another moment to spare, here is an explaination to the question that few dare to ask, but have always wondered.

Now the Awkward Part

How it All Works

As the main ruler of this land for the past 1000 years, I have often been approached with many questions to share my vast wisdom. I have however, begun to recieve distant messages from another world. A race known as humans has begun to request my wisdom as to the "ins and outs" of us ponies in a manner of speaking. Well, in order to answer these so-called questions of *ehem* plumbing, I will have to share a small amount of information regarding us ponies. I shall start with a fact that many of you humans out there may not know.

Within all ponies (both my subjects and myself included) there exists magic. Yes, within every single one of us! Now there are those with a very limited knowledge of us ponies who might object to this statement, saying that it is only unicorns like Rarity, or alicorns like my sister and I (also Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadence) who possess magic. This is however, quite untrue. From the earth ponies, to unicorns, to the pegasi who soar above, there exists magic within everypony here in Equestria.

The reason that unicorns and alicorns are able to perform magic (spells and such) is because our horns act as a medium for which we can transfer the magic inside ourselves to the outside world. It more or less works like plugging a cord into an outlet. Our horns act as that chord to carry the magic from the inner source to whatever we need to use it for. This also explains why we get tired after performing many different spells, because we are expending the internal magic in us and using it for different tasks. The magic of other ponies, however, acts in different ways from ours.

For the earth ponies, the magic within them is kept inside and not externalazied. Therefore, it is transformed into great strength and physical energy. Just look upon the strength and speed of my subjects Applejack and Pinkie Pie to know that my words are true. The same is true of pegasi, but instead of intense physical strength, that magic inside of them is converted into their flight and wing power. This does not necessarily mean that unicorns and pegasi can't be strong or fast. it simply means that earth ponies have the upper hand in that department. The reason that my sister and I are known as the most magical ponies in all of Equestria is for the sheer reason that we have wings, enhanced physical strength, and the fact that we can perform many different kinds of magic. And now, on to the awkward part of my explaination. . .

A Brief Introduction

Now the Awkward Part

Well, we have now come to my explaination of the more awkward questions you have about us. So, you ask how we ponies use the little fillies room or are able to have foals? It is actually very simple if you think about it. Just think back to my previous explaination about how there exists magic within all of us ponies. This same magic is what allows us all to maintain all of our *ehem* bodily functions when the only external parts we have are our muzzles and cute noses. For example: when we ponies eat several slices of cake (in my case) or any other number of things, the magic inside of us digests our food. Where does this food go one might ask. Well I am sure you are familiar with how we princess ponies (and some unicorns) are able to teleport. Well, this kind of works in the same way with food and drinks. Any food or liquid in our bodies is teleported out of our tummies by our inner magic and is sent to designated areas (outhouses ect.). That is the exact reason that there are things like bathrooms and outhouses in Equestria.

With that first question out of the way, let's move on shall we? Now although I have never been a mother before myself, I have to now answer the question that many young foals ask their parents. Where do little foals come from? Magic magic magic! This is how everything works in Equestria after all. When a mare and a stallion fall in love and decide to get married, the magic signatures within each of them recognize the magic in their partners. When a mare and stallion are in love, their magic resonates with one another in the love that they have found in eachother. This resonance causes a foal to appear. Based on what I know of you humans, we both carry our young in the same way until they are born. However, my subjects are born in a different way from you humans. It works the same as anything else. Magic! Foals are basically teleported out of their mommy's tummy just like that. Neat huh? Well there you have it. All of us ponies run on a very intricate magical system. Whew. Now that the awkwardness is over, I think Luna and I will go have a cup of tea and a (few) slice(s) of cake. Also, always feel free and do not hesitate to ask me any questions at all. Just please, next time it could be a question that doesn't make me blush while answering. Until next time my faithful subjects, Princess Celestia.