The thoughts plagued her mind, rooting themselves in the deepest part of her brain since the past few days. With a sigh, Rainbow Dash rolled onto her back, the cloud she was on gently supported her weight. It was a cool and clear day, one that everypony would be fine with. More importantly, it was Hearts and Hooves Day, and Dash had nopony to spend it with. The same could be said every year.
She'd made up her mind recently, but she remained unsure of whether or not she wanted to go through with it, or whether she'd be happy with her decision in the first place. To reach her goal, Dash's insecurities would have to crumble. It was now or never. Rainbow primed herself for flight, and she took to her wings in the direction of Carousel Boutique.
Air softly ran through her feathers as the pegasus soared through the sky, it was a feeling she always enjoyed. The sensation of flying would usually calm her nerves, but it did little to help now. Rainbow Dash wasn't sure if Rarity thought of her the same way. Even then, she was doubtful that Rarity would even be interested in pursuing a love interest after the events at the Gala.
“Ugh, no.” Dash shook her head. “It's all gonna' be fine, I think.” Her eyes shot open as she found herself almost crashing into somepony's house. Her wings furiously beat down as she propelled herself higher into the air. A sigh of relief escaped the pegasus as she slowed her pace. Carousel Boutique was in sight.
Rainbow Dash neared the building, and landed by the door which had a sign posted on it.
Sorry, we're closed for the holidays. Check back tomorrow at Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique! Above all, have a wonderful Hearts and Hooves Day!
- Rarity
Dash sighed, of course the store would be closed. How could she forget? She lightly tapped her hoof against the door, nearly knocking again from the lack of noise. To her surprise, the door was pulled open by a light-blue aura. “Oh, so wonderful to see you here, Rainbow Dash!”
“Yeah,” she scratched her head. “Would it be okay if I came in?”
“Why of course, dear! You're always welcome in Carousel Boutique.” Rarity motioned with her hoof for her to enter.
Rainbow Dash nervously trotted inside. As she passed Rarity, she glanced at a corner which held some crayons next to a drawing. She couldn't tell what the drawing was, but it was most likely Sweetie Belle's stuff. “Thanks,” Dash said. “Just came by to see how you're doing.”
“Oh, me?” Rarity pointed to herself, eyes widening. “Simply fantastic, Sweetie Belle is out with her friends, and the shop's closed today. I'll have the whole day just to myself, to relax. It'll be wonderful.”
“Great, great.” Rainbow sighed. “So, you've got nothing to do today? No plans for Hearts and Hooves day?”
“No, not all. Of course, I can see why you'd think that I would have plans,” she bragged. “I am a very busy pony, after all.” The unicorn smirked, eying her friend across the room. “And you, Rainbow Dash? I assume you have a very special pony to be spending the day with?”
“Yes, well, no. No I don't.” She couldn't bring herself to tell Rarity. Not just yet, at least.
“Oh, what a shame.” Rarity shook her head. “You're a very admirable pony. I wouldn't be so surprised if a stallion was out buying a box of chocolates for you right now.”
“T-Thanks.” The pegasus blushed. “About that...”
“Yes?” Rarity quickly brought herself towards Dash, ignoring the table she slightly bumped into.
A stallion... Does she just not know? Does anypony know that about me? Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. You know, maybe I should just leave right now. Doubt it's gonna' work out for me.
“Rainbow Dash?” Rarity brought her hoof to Rainbow's shoulder.
“Oh uh... Hi Rarity.”
The unicorn gave her a confused glance. “You were saying?”
“Right, sorry.” Dash gave herself a brief moment to think. “I just don't think I'd want to be with any stallion.”
“Oh please,” Rarity waved her hoof around. “You're the most confident pony I know.”
“You think so?”
“Of course, darling! Is there any challenge you've backed down on?” Rarity asked. “You don't stop because you're afraid of something, you just get better.”
That is so me. I don't back down to anything, or anypony!
“Why, you're probably the most dauntless pony I know!”
Rainbow Dash smiled, ignoring the sense of doubt lingering in the back of her head. “Yeah, exactly. That's why I'm gonna' ask if I could take you out to dinner tonight.”
Rarity nervously ran her hoof against the purple floor, looking away from Dash. “I'm sorry, W-What was that?”
Her smile started to wear off. “I uh... I asked if you wanted to go out to dinner with me.” She didn't receive an answer. “I-I know a really good restaurant right here, I know you'd like it. It's e-”
“So you're asking me out on a date?”
“Y-Yes.” Rainbow Dash bit her lip.
“Oh dear...” Rarity sighed deeply, looking into her eyes. “I'm sorry Rainbow Dash but I'll have to decline your offer. I don't know what to say, I'm flattered, but...”
Rainbow just realized what this meant for her. “So you uh... You just, don't swing that way?”
“Yes, if that's how you'd like to say it.” Rarity once again, averted her gaze from Dash. “To be honest, I hadn't even known that you were interested in mares until now. Please, please don't take it personally.”
“That's alright.” Rainbow sighed. “I guess I should have expected this from the start,” she spoke, heading outside. She stopped in her tracks when Rarity placed herself in front of the door.
“Wait! Please, uh... Dashie.” Rarity's voice sounded of calmness as she donned a fake grin. “Just stay here, I'm not asking you to leave.”
“I know, I'll be fine spending Hearts and Hooves alone.” Rainbow lied. “Really now, I'm Rainbow Dash, how's this gonna' hurt me? It's all good, you don't have to worry about me.”
Rarity still didn't move herself from the exit. “Alone? No, somepony will come along. I'm sure of it!”
“I'm sorry, but I don't think so.”
“You can never be certain! Maybe there's been somepony admiring you from afar. Some... A mare, just like you.” Rarity tried to sound as convincing as possible.
Dash slowly shook her head. “Really, you don't need to say that.”
The unicorn's eyes widened. “But it's true! You can't just say that you'll be alone. Anything could happen on Hearts and Hooves Day, and I'm sure you'll find somepony.”
“Again, I'll be fine.” Rainbow said.
“Well, if you say so...” Rarity hesitantly moved from the doorway. “You have my deepest apologies.”
“Yeah, got it. Goodbye Rarity.”
She watched her friend walk away, almost waiting for her to turn around and say something more, but she just kept walking. It wasn't as if Rarity could do anything about it, but she still couldn't help but feel sympathetic for Rainbow Dash.
Dash wasn't sure where she wanted to go, so she just followed wherever her hooves would take her. “That went well,” she spoke aloud to herself after hearing the door shut behind her. Despite being undeniably, unquestionably unstoppable, she found herself beaten. She didn't have Rarity, or anypony else. Even worse, was the image she'd always been trying to maintain, and where it brought her now. The same pit she'd dug herself into every Hearts and Hooves Day.
“Stupid road.” Dash stomped on the ground as she walked. “Stupid Rarity. Stupid me,” she gritted her teeth. “How was I supposed to know she doesn't swing that way? We're in a town full of mares, for Celestia's sake!”
Looking around, the pegasus saw ponies around her giving awkward glances. She could try to play it off as something else, but it wouldn't work right now. She'd never felt so helpless before, watching as everypony did their best to ignore her “outburst”.
Great, at least I'm not invincible anymore. I'm an awkward pony, who talks to herself and possibly came out of the closet... Much better. How often do I even talk to myself anyway?
Why did she even ask Rarity of all ponies anyway? Was it because she was beautiful, or something? Rainbow Dash didn't see much in her personality, but it resembled something, something she couldn't quite place her hoof on. She didn't really care anyway, because she certainly wasn't going to be with Rarity because of that one simple obstacle.
I'm a total loser, aren't I?
Sometimes, Dash would want to fly when she felt trapped. It was the thrill, the pride, and the freedom she felt when doing so. Not right now though, all she needed was to collect her thoughts. Fortunately for her, a park bench was relatively close by. She lazily trotted towards it, placing all four of her hooves on the seat.
Another sigh escaped the pegasus as she allowed herself to sink into the bench. She didn't feel like going home, but doing any physical activity was ruled out for the day. With her day off, it was going to be pretty boring.
In all honesty, I expected to be spending all this time with Rarity.
Maybe she didn't even like Rarity that much, or anypony. It was just pretty hurtful to stand another year without anypony by her side at Hearts and Hooves Day. She could have made her happy though, or at least tried to, but how? She didn't really know what to do after confessing her love to the unicorn in the first place. With that, she pondered what a relationship with Rarity would actually be like.
“Hello, Rainbow Dash.”
She turned her head around as a turquoise-coated unicorn approached her. “Oh, hey Lyra. What's up?”
“Nothing, really,” she said, seating her flank on the bench in that odd way she usually did.
Dash took notice. It didn't bother her, so she never really said anything about it. Perhaps nopony decided to. “Still studying that uh... that anth... anthropology?”
Lyra smiled. “Yeah, I'm finding out a lot. I think you should too!”
“I'll pass.”
“Oh. That's a shame.”
“Yeah, a lot of things are.” Dash rolled her eyes.
Lyra stared at the mare next to her with her orange eyes. She didn't speak, only raising a hoof to her chin in confusion. She finally broke the silence. “Are you angry at something?”
“No.” Dash grunted. “Everything's just perfect.”
“Oh...” A smile grew on Lyra's face. “Okay then, good to hear!” Rainbow brought a hoof to her face, and the two were given another moment of silence. Dash breathed heavily once more, causing the unicorn to further examine her. “Wait... But you look upset.”
“Yes Lyra, I'm upset.” Rainbow blew out a burst of air, causing her mane to fly up.
“Well, what's wrong?”
“Ever felt like nopony really understands who you are?” The pegasus turned. “Missed out on opportunities and all that?”
“I can't say I have.” Lyra shrugged.
“Oh, come on. Nopony gets your anthro-stuff !” Dash shot up, trying to sit the same way the mare next to her was sitting. “It'd be so much cooler for you if somepony did!”
“I-I think you're right.”
Rainbow Dash put a hoof around Lyra's shoulder. “Yeah! You and I, we're in the same boat.”
“Really?”
“Really. Nopony to know who we are on the inside... No dates for Hearts and Hooves...”
“But I do have a date today.” The mare tilted her head. Dash took her hoof off of the mare.
“Oh, there you are!” Dash heard a voice call out.
Lyra got up and hugged the earth pony in front of her. “Oh hey. I've been waiting so long for you.”
Wait, what? She's been here for like, not even five minutes!
“I know, I'm sorry. But I'll make it up to you.” The pink and purple-maned pony winked suggestively.
“How'll you make it up to me?” Lyra asked, genuinely curious.
“You know, how I usually do it...”
Dash groaned, “I'm still here, just so you two know.”
Bon-Bon turned around. “Hey Rainbow Dash, how's it going? Got anything planned for Hearts and Hooves Day?”
“Now that you ask, I think sitting on this bench for a few more hours sounds pretty nice.”
“Oh, sorry. Anything I can do to help?” Bon-Bon looked into Rainbow's rose-colored eyes. She tried to appear as sincere as she could, and the mare looked quite convincing.
Dash closed her eyes. “No, I'm not sure how you'd 'help', anyway. You two just have fun.”
“Well, okay. Are you sure you'll be okay?”
“She told me she was upset.” Lyra leaned in. “I think she's upset.”
“Yeah, I'll be fine. Glad you care though.” Dash cracked a fake smile. It looked horribly forced.
The cream coated mare nudged Lyra. “Alright, we'll just be out of your mane then. Bye Dash.” The unicorn next to her oddly saluted, and then left as well.
“Yeah, later.” Dash shuffled around, getting back into the normal way of sitting on a park bench. The pegasus twisted and turned in a futile attempt to get more comfortable. In the end, she just decided to go back to the way of sitting that Lyra always chose.
“Much better...” Rainbow Dash sighed. In the distance, she could see what appeared to be that clumsy mailmare that always broke things. She happily trotted alongside an amber-coated stallion with an hourglass cutie mark. Wow... Even she has a date, but not me. Why? Who could resist me? She briefly chuckled, before her smile faded away. Oh, right.
Time passed, and Dash was left alone with her thoughts. Just how long had she been sitting there? It didn't matter, she had nothing else to do. Even Big Macintosh seemed to have a date, as he walked by with that school teacher, Cheerilee. They actually seemed like a perfect match. What was odd though, was the fact that three small fillies covertly trailed behind them.
So like, does everypony just have a date today except for me?
“Everything alright, Rainbow Dash?”
“Huh, what?” Dash blinked her eyes, fading out of her dreams, and back into Equestria. “Yeah, yeah, I'm good.”
“Not so sure. Ya' don't look all that fine right now.”
“No, I'm pretty sure this is normal.” Rainbow Dash argued, now looking in the direction of the voice that was speaking to her. “Applejack.” Dash turned over, only to fall off of the bench. “Yeah, guess it's not so normal.”
Applejack chuckled briefly, offering her hoof which Rainbow grabbed after regaining her senses. “So, what's goin' on? Not feeling good today?”
“Nothing's 'going on', I'm just- Alright, yeah.”
Applejack nudged the mare next to her. “Well, what's got ya' down?”
“I really don't want to talk about it.”
“Feelin' lonely?”
“Wait, what?” Dash recoiled. “No! I told you I'm fine. Why'd you even think that?”
“I thought it was 'cause you didn't have anypony to spend Hearts and Hooves with. That's all.” Applejack's voice held sincerity.
“That's right.” Rainbow stuck her face out in front of Applejack. “I don't, and I don't need anypony to spend today with.”
“Nopony's invincible.” The words reverberated in Rainbow Dash's head. She was right, but it also meant she saw through the guise Rainbow had always projected. It wasn't blind egotism, or a false sense of pride, but something more. To see the charade falling down around her...
“I got it AJ, I'm not 'all that', but what does it mean to you? Huh?” the pegasus frantically asked. Perhaps she was stalling for time, but maybe she really wanted to know what it meant to her.
Applejack backed up a bit. “Woah, calm down there. Just concerned 'bout you. You've been acting all strange since I came here, just tell me what's botherin' you.”
“Nothing's bothering me, alright?” she grew less patient as each second passed, at the same time, she felt less stable. She looked into Applejack's eyes, staring straight at her. The pegasus huffed some air out, and the mare in front of her just kept her gaze fixed. “Are you gonna stop staring at me, or what?”
“Maybe. I'm not leaving you here like this though.”
Rainbow looked away, not wanting to face the mare. “Yeah well, I don't feel like moving anyplace.”
“That's fine.” Applejack nodded. “I'll be waitin' here all-day.”
Rainbow let herself collapse down onto the bench, hurting herself slightly in the process. The two awkwardly lingered for a while, but she wasn't really paying attention to the time, just why Applejack was acting the way she was. “You're not gonna' give up, are you?”
“Nope, I already told you that, Rainbow.”
Dash paused for a moment, briefly deciding whether to fight it out with Applejack or not. “Ah, fine. What do you want me to tell you?”
“Everything that you wanna' get off your chest.”
The pegasus sighed. “Well, that's a ton, and I really don't want to talk about it here.”
“Ain't a problem.” Applejack nodded. “We can go over to Sweet Apple Acres, whatever makes you feel better.”
“Yeah, sure.” Dash got up, stretching out her wings. A brief moment of energy being restored to her, but she'd have to wait to 'get back in the game'. For what, she didn't know.
The walk to Sweet Apple Acres was for the most part, silent. Applejack wanted to say something, but just waited until they got to the farm. It was clear to her that Rainbow Dash was hesitant to speak, whatever it was that she was going to say wasn't going to come out easily. Leaving it alone, the earth pony was just fine walking back with her.
Applejack approached the barn, and then opened up a fence. The two cut through the grass and got into the farmhouse. “Need anything to drink?”
“Some water would be nice.”
“Alright then, make yourself at home,” said Applejack, entering the kitchen.
Dash had been here before, just not that often. Taking a left down the hallway, she looked into the living room, and saw Granny Smith, sleeping a rocking chair, but directly facing Rainbow Dash. Not wanting to disturb the elderly pony, she turned around, slightly bumping into the door as she did so.
“Yer' the fast one an' all, right?”
Rainbow Dash turned around, looking back at the pony whose eyes were for the most part, still closed. “Yeah, Rainbow Dash.”
“Who?”
“Rainbow Dash.”
“Ye', that you are,” she said. Rainbow didn't know how to respond to that. “Don't be makin' too much noise, right?”
“A-Alright.” Dash left the room, unsure of what just happened. Trotting back into the kitchen, she found looked around. It was a small room, smaller than her own kitchen, but it gave her the warm feeling of being 'home'. Water good. Good for when not know how to brain properly. Dash chuckled at her own misfortune before helping herself to one of the glasses Applejack left on the table. She downed it in an instant, hastily slamming the glass back onto the table.
“Hey!” Dash heard a voice call out from a different room. “What'd I tell you 'bout all that noise-makin'?”
Applejack quietly appeared behind Rainbow, who was unsure of how long she'd been there. She motioned with her head to follow her, as she lead the pegasus up the stairs, creaking under the pressure of their hooves. The hallway on the second floor was cramped, but well-decorated. Applejack pushed open a door, and they both entered.
“Yeah, sorry 'bout that. She don't like too much ruckus.” Applejack said, closing the door behind her.
Dash took a seat on Applejack's bed, bouncing heavily despite her light weight. “I can tell. How did she even hear that?”
“Don't really know.” Applejack said. “Guess she's just got some pretty good ears.”
Neither of the two decided to carry on any conversation after that. Dash decided to pass some time by looking around. The walls had some picture frames mounted on them. A few of the photographs held ponies with all sorts of apple related cutie marks, others of them were of friends, old and new.
“You like 'em?” Applejack asked.
“Yeah, they're pretty cool.”
“Yep. Photos of my family.”
Dash raised an eyebrow. “All of them are family? What about, those two?” she asked.
“Yeah, I'll treat you girls the same. Y'all are always welcome here.”
“Thanks.” Dash brought her head down, thinking to herself. Family...
“So.” Applejack circled around the room. “Something you wanna' say?”
“Huh?” Dash glanced back up. “What are you talking about?”
The earth pony seated herself on an aged wooden stool. “You know, all that stuff that's makin' you feel bad. You said you'd tell me about it.”
“Oh, yes. Well, there's a lot.” Rainbow Dash scratched her head. “I don't really know...”
“Well, ain't no use holding it inside.”
“Yeah, you're right. I was going to Carousel Boutique to see Rarity and all... Do I have to?”
Applejack leaned back, nearly falling off the stool as she did. “I'd recommend you do.”
“Alright, so I went there, and talked to Rarity for a bit. Turns out she wasn't doing anything today, so I... I...”
“Yep?
“I asked her out on a date.” Dash buried her face in her hooves, perhaps only to avoid looking at Applejack like this. The orange mare however, remained relatively silent. Rainbow waited, and while the moment of embarrassment seemed to last forever, she knew that only a few seconds had passed. “You gonna' say anything?” She looked up.
“Then what?”
“Then... Then she told me she doesn't swing that way. Even worse, uh... I do.”
“What do you mean “Even worse”?” asked Applejack. “You are who you are.”
“So, you don't mind?”
Applejack smiled. “It don't matter. Doesn't change who you are as a pony, let alone a friend.”
“Whew, good.” Rainbow let out a heavy sigh. “Honestly wasn't expecting that.”
“Why?”
“Thought you'd say it's unnatural or something. It's what we've always been taught, you know? By our parents, our friends, everything.”
“Why'd you think I'd be the same?”
“It's just uh... I don't want to offend you, or anything.” Rainbow Dash looked away.
“Rainbow Dash, don't be makin' assumptions like that. I'm sure plenty of ponies have done the same to you, and you wouldn't be liking it.” Again, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but feel overwhelmed when hearing her speak. She'd made the same mistake that everypony else had shared. Was Applejack always so philosophical? Dash bit her lip, closing her eyes. “Ain't a problem, what happened after that?”
“Nothing, really.” Rainbow shrugged. “I just went there, crashed, and fell asleep. Sucked pretty hard to see all those ponies with each other, when you yourself don't have anypony.”
“Yeah, guess it does.” Applejack looked down.
“Rarity tried to comfort me, said that things would change and stuff. I don't believe her. Not one bit.”
“And why's that?” the mare asked.
“Well, I guess it's the way I've been acting. The image I've always wanted to be project, you know?” Rainbow Dash motioned with her hooves. “Oh man, look at Rainbow Dash! She's so awesome, all that stuff. Can't believe what a jerk I've been, and look where it gets me.” The pegasus inhaled deeply, shaking her head. “Everypony just thinks I don't need company, that I don't want it either. Lately, I've been thinking that they're right.”
“Well, they're not. As I said earlier, yer' not invincible. Nopony is.”
“I-I guess I'm not.” Dash said. “So, what about you?”
Applejack leaned forwards. “I'll probably be spendin' Hearts and Hooves alone.”
“Guess we both will.”
“I've been honest with all my friends, but I'll tell you this. Just you though.” She closed her eyes. “I've been into mares since I was a filly. Didn't both tellin' anypony about it, not you girls, not any of my other friends, not even my own family!”
Dash's eyes widened. “You serious?”
“Do I look like I'm lyin'?” she asked. “Even less of a chance for me to be happy, everypony think's I'm too busy working and all, even when Apple-buckin' season's over. You know, I guess the only reason we're here is 'cause a' that.”
“Yeah. Guess that's just the way we are.”
Applejack fidgeted with her hooves. “You think I'll find somepony?”
“What?” Rainbow Dash turned around. “Yeah, you will. Maybe I will too. Maybe we'll both find some luck.”
The farmer pony shrugged. “Ah still don't know. Not with what I am, or what somepony wants me to be.”
“Woah, slow down Applejack,” Rainbow raised her hooves up. “You are who you are. Just what you told me earlier! Somepony who loves you'll be more than happy with who you are now, rather than what they thought you'd be.”
The sunlight illuminated Applejack's figure perfectly. She wasn't speaking, but it was clear that she was in deep thought. The image of unwavering strength, not thinking she was anything near her expectations. She was just fine in Dash's eyes though, there was nothing to be changed.
Applejack looked back at Dash, who seemed to be sharing the same thoughts. She'd just heard so much from Rainbow Dash, words that she'd probably never spoken to anypony else. It meant a lot to her, but hopefully, her efforts wouldn't be in vain.
“You're right,” she said. “I'm fine the way I am.”
Dash smiled. “You got it!”
“Let me just ask you this.” Applejack brought a hoof to her chin. “Do you still want to hide who you are from everypony else, or are you just gonna' tell me all a' this stuff?”
The pegasus' smile wore off. “Oh, uh... I think I'll just leave it with you. You can keep a secret, right?”
“Right, won't tell a soul.” Applejack nodded. “I think you should let it out though, who cares what anypony thinks? I think you're just great.”
“Well, that means a lot to me. I can't think of too much ponies who'd say the same thing.” Dash reminisced. “I've been hiding, well, since I was still in Cloudsdale. I'd lose all my friends, all my rep if I went out like that.”
“Again, what really matters more. Your 'rep', or you?”
“Me, I guess. Doesn't it all seem pointless though?”
“Pointless?” Applejack trotted over to her bed, and took a seat next to Rainbow Dash. “It's not pointless, thinking like that ain't gonna' get you nowhere.”
“Applejack?” Rainbow nudged the mare next to her. “Why were you acting that way when you found me outside? Why did it really matter?”
“I just didn't want to see you that way, Rainbow Dash. I care about you, I always have.” Applejack paused. “How 'bout you?”
Dash turned to her friend. “I'd... I'd do what I could to help you. I'd say you'd be fine.”
“Exactly.” Applejack smiled. “You're real carin', doesn't matter if somepony doesn't feel the same way.”
Rainbow sighed. “Even if either of us were to tell anypony about these things they most probably don't care about, we'd still end up lonely, back to where we started.”
“Well, you've already told me, and I guess it's worth a try.” Applejack looked straight into the rose eyes across from her.
“What's worth a try?”
“We haven't been 'round each other as often lately. It'd take a lot of gettin' used to, and there's a lot of change, but I think it's a good idea. We'll find a way.” Applejack cryptically said.
Dash gave the mare next to her a quizzical look. “Applejack, are you saying...”
“I've been waitin' so long to find somepony, I'm sure you have too. Seems perfect, don't it?”
“I have... Perfect, would it be that way?” Rainbow asked herself before bringing her gaze to Applejack, eyes staring straight back at her.
“Well, for one, we're both mares.” Applejack continued to look at Dash, now starting to smile. “We're both single...”
“Put two and two together, and neither of us gotta' spend Hearts an' Hooves alone.”
