Glory to Twistotzka

by Tyrannosaurus_Tux

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Random, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2107

Honorable President Princess Twilight Sparkle has overthrown our evil former masters, and now leads ponykind to glory! Glory to Twistotzka!!

Checkpoint life is both dull and interesting. While the process is repetitive, the ponies going through the checkpoint vary very differently. It is also interesting to be in a newly-formed kingdom.

A "Papers, Please" parody.

Published 2013-09-09 18:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-09 18:50:03 UTC

Twistotzkans only

A grey pony was walking into a grey checkpoint on a grey day. His mane and tail were black and unkempt, and his eyes were empty and lifeless. He was wearing a brown long coat that covered his body from his neck to his tail, covering his cutie mark. As hoofsteps marked his journey to the little box he would be working in for the day, he sighed. It would be a long day. He finally reached his destination, and situated himself in his workspace.

It was an empty room, with boring, green walls, but there was a small wooden desk and a small wooden chair, next to the checkout window. The desk had several a notebook on it, and a sliding rack held two stamps on it, waiting for use. The notebook had several notes, as well as rules and guidelines. There was also a lever that, when flipped, would raise and lower the heavy shutters that barred the window. The final thing the pony noticed was a little microphone, used for making announcements via speakers. The pony sat in the chair, and readied himself for the day. He raised the shutters, cleared his throat, and held down the intercom toggle with his hoof,

“Next!”

The sound was amplified by the speakers outside, and the other door opened in the checkpoint, allowing the first customer of the day in. The pony quickly checked a calendar above his desk. The day was a weekend

The mare walked in, and presented her passport. She had a mustard coat, and grayscaled hair. She said nothing, but almost looked bored. The pony didn’t recognize her until aafter he had approved her passport with a stamp. Oh well.

“Next!”

The next pony to walk in... wasn’t a pony. Rather, it was a buffalo. a young buffalo at that. She presented her passport, but the pony immediately recognized the discrepancy.

Her passport was Equestrian, when only Twistotzkans were allowed in. He quickly pressed the denied stamp into her passport, then gave it back. A look of sadness flashed across her face, but she left all the same.

“Next!”

The next pony to enter had a golden coat, blue eyes and mane, and had a valid passport, so he was allowed passage through.

“Next!”

The next pony to walk in was a pegasus, had an opal coat, and amber eyes. Her passport showed her Equestrian origin, so it also received denial. She walked out, nose high in the air, clearly miffed at her inability to enter.

“Next!”

The pony checked his clock. It was not time yet to leave. This would be a very long day.

After several more hours of checking passports, the pony got a visitor he didn’t expect. A very famous visitor.

She was very very pink. That contributed to her bubbly behavior as she bounced up and down in the confined space.

“Okay, here we go! Glory to Twistotzka!”

The worker said nothing, and instead waited before finally asking.

“Where is your passport?”

“I don’t have one, silly! I’m sure Twistotzka is such a super-duper place that I won’t need a passport! I know that when my friend Twilight--”

“You cannot enter without a passport.”

“OOOOOH! I see! I’ll just come back later!”

She hopped out of the checkpoint, and work proceeded as normal.

“Next!”

Another pony walked into the immigration office. She presented her papers, and was of Twistotzkan origin, so she passed.

Another pony walked into the checkpoint. This pony was Griffonite, so he was denied. He ground his teeth as he left. The immigrant worker pony soon realized that the work has become less actual work and more relaxing. He liked to find discrepancies. He shook his head, and spoke again into the microphone.

“Next!”

The next pony to enter the checkpoint was of Twistotzkan origin, so he was allowed in. As his passport was handed back in, he thanked the worker, then proceeded.

“Next!”

A robed, hooded zebra walked into the checkpoint.

“It was a mistake to open this checkpoint, for the Tyrant Twilight has enemies appoint.”

The zebra then walked out. The pony then again checked his clock.

Not even lunchtime.

He sighed, then toggled the microphone.

“Next!”

The next pony came in, and to the checkpoint pony’s dismay, it was the pink one again. She had somehow gotten into the line again, and was back with one of her signatures smiles.

“Here you go, Mr. Checkpoint Pony!”

She slid over to him a crudely-made passport, with crayon markings indicating she from the planet Earth, from a place called “Seattle”.

“This is an obvious fake. You cannot enter with a fake passport. Also, Seattle isn’t a real city.”

Her eyes widened, and she said with awe,

“Ooooh, you’re good! I’ll just come back later, with a better passport!”

She bounced out, and the checkpoint pony smashed his head into the microphone controls.

“Next!”

A white unicorn with a stylized violet mane waltzed into the room. The checkpoint pony recognized this as one of the elements of harmony, but said nothing.

drab little checkpoint you’ve got here, darling. I would spruce it up a little with some bright, warm colors to make it feel more... welcoming.”

She passed a stylized passport over (Where did she get that?), but she didn’t qualify, since she was one of the servants of the Tyrant Celestia, she was denied, and sent on her way.

“Well, I never! I’ll have to take it up with your princess!”
She stuck up her nose and left with a huff. The checkpoint pony rubbed his forehead, but continued his job.

“Next!”

The next to come in was a griffon, which was odd, but the passports were valid, so he was admitted in.

“Next!”

The next in the checkpoint was an elderly green mare, with a greyed mane. She immediately got in the checkpoint pony’s face.

“Well, sonny, I stood in that line for who knows how long, and I’ve never seen anythin’ like this, before!”

This green pony squinted one eye, and widened the other to stare at the checkpoint pony, which honestly freaked him out a bit. She scanned him a bit this way, and then leaned back, and dropped a burlap sack of apples on the counter.

“You look like a thin twig, sonny. Best eat up these apples, or...”

Another mare burst in, orange with a blond mane, and dragged off the first with apologies. The checkpoint pony tried an apple from the sack, and it was quite good. He needed a bit of a lunch anyway. He finished the apple and tucked away the burlap sack.

“Next!”

The next to enter was...

nobody was entering.

The checkpoint pony peered over his counter towards the door, but nothing came. He could hear whispering, and then a very timid pegasus was shoved in. She had a butter-yellow coat and a pink, flowing mane...

The checkpoint pony stopped staring, resumed his facade, and asked for her passport. He broke out of his self-induced state when he realized she was cowering where he couldn’t see. He leaned over and saw the pegasus, shivering behind her mane. He quietly asked,

“Do you want to get into Twistotzka today? If you do, then you’ll have to show me your papers... please.”

She timidly slapped some documents on the table. This mare, Fluttershy, was of Equestrian origins, so she was to be denied.

The stamp was about to come down when Fluttershy suddenly said,

“Wait.”

“I’d really like to see my friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle. I haven’t seen her since she... well... um.”

She shrunk back down again, which made the worker pony’s heart ache. He took a moment to actually consider letting the pony in. Nobody would know except for her and him. On the other hand, she could be a terrorist. He jolted back in fear, and closed the shutters, blocking her off from view. He pressed a tiny button on the underside of the desk, and several guardsponies dragged off the yellow mare. The checkpoint pony felt really bad about it.

“Next!”

At first the Checkpoint Pony was sure that he was being pranked. There wasn’t a pony in the doorway, just what appeared to be a huge ball of pink fluff. He was about to call for the guards to come, when the fluff Moved. He was grateful that the fluffy pony(?) was the only other being in the room, so she, he, it? was the only one who saw him scream like a filly as he jumped into the air.

As he returned to his chair, the Pony moved to be in front of his desk.

“Al-alright,” he said shakily, “Do you wish to enter Twistotzka today?”

He had no idea how to address this pony, so he decided to just be polite.
The creature only blew a raspberry at him, causing him to jump again at the sudden noise, and when he opened his eyes, the pony’s documents had materialized in front of him. He looked at them carefully, and he was surprised to see that everything was in order, and that the pony - Fluffle Puff - had a correct and valid Twistotzkan passport. He blinked once, but then mentally shrugged. He had been told to expect all types when he was assigned to this post, so he might as well get used to it.

With that he stamped the passport and was thanked with a hug from the pony. He smiled, and said “Glory to Twistotzka!” to her as she headed out the opposite door.

He smiled. Perhaps this day will go well after all.

“Next!”

And so the day went on like this. At last, the time came to close up shop. The bolted blinds came down for the last time that day, and the grey pony gathered his belongings and reported to his superiors. Well, superior, but who’s counting?

As he closed in to the town hall, a sense of uneasiness came about him. He wasn’t sure why, but it seemed unsafe to get any closer. Still, he had to get paid for his work. Thus he walked inside.

Princess Twilight Sparkle hovered over stacks of papers, eyes racing to and fro in an attempt to make the paper stacks smaller. She noticed the grey pony’s presence, and waved him over. She asked,

“What do you have to report?”

The grey pony answered,

“I just ran the checkpoint today, ma’am. Nothing special to report on this front.”

Twilight magick’d over a bag of coins, which the grey pony accepted. He walked out, leaving Twilight to her papers.

As she signed contracts, signed laws, signed mandates and projects, she almost didn’t notice another visitor. She heard the door open, and the visitor walked in.

It was Princess Celestia. She looked amused and disappointed at the same time, if that were possible. Twilight went to go greet her mentor, and Celestia greeted her student in kind. Celestia said,

“My dear student, how has the day treating you?”

Twilight excitedly replied,

“Great! I’ve set up everything by the book! I’ve even taken the time to design an insignia for my little test kingdom!” Let me go get out the design.”

Before Celestia could say anything, Twilight had gone and pulled out a purple banner with said insignia.

Celestia looked it over, examining every detail before giving her judgement.

“It’s... nice. Can I see the book you’re using as a model for this test kingdom?”

Twilight passed it over, and Celestia looked over the dystopian novel with a disappointed look on her face.

Celestia sighed, but then said,

“I’m sorry, Twilight, but I’m afraid I’ll have to cancel your test kingdom.”

Twilight looked distraught, and asked,

“Why?”

Celestia answered plainly,

“Because this is not how one rules a kingdom, Twilight. Haven’t you seen how I rule over my subjects? I don’t support any of these laws you’re signing. Thought police? Extremely controlled and barricaded borders? This is not how a good kingdom is run, Twilight. Please. You need more training.”

Twilight thought this over, but suddenly perked up at a thought. She laughed, and said,

“Oooh, good one, Celestia! It’s all part of the test, right? Don’t worry. I won’t go down that easily. Rest assured, Celestia, a bit of trickery won’t stop me.”

Before Celestia could object, Twilight had used a spell to teleport Celestia away, and she went back to her desk, signing more papers to further enforce her rule.

Author's Note

Credits and thanks to:

Sandvich Brony
AngelicArson
Alicorn Priest
JZ1

others whom I can't remember (PM me if you contributed)