That Familiar Pain

by Nightroad

Rating: everyone
Tags: Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2054

Fluttershy thinks about her personal experience with Mother's Day

We always tend to associate events with emotions if the event or emotion is powerful enough. This holds true for Fluttershy when Mother's Day rolls around.

My first try at writing a story without the use of spoken words. (Picture courtesy of Free-Leaf on Deviantart. Link below)

My submission for a contest DarqFox is holding, enjoy. (Edit: The winner of the contest)
http://free-leaf.deviantart.com/

Published 2013-05-26 23:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-26 23:40:02 UTC

That Familiar Pain

Fluttershy stared out into the empty expanse before her, a sigh hanging on her lips but not quite ready to leave her mouth. From the moment she woke up this morning, Fluttershy had felt that familiar ache in her chest, telling her that today was the day. With a heavy heart and sluggish hooves the yellow mare unwrapped herself from her lover and went about her morning chores.

When she had finished, she walked (hesitantly) into Ponyville with Twilight where the residents were decorating in commemoration of the day. Every balloon, every streamer, every little colour seemed to pierce Fluttershy's chest with another dagger of pain. However, she did her best to keep a smile on her face so as not to worry her beloved unicorn. Fluttershy waved goodbye as her lavender lover bid her adieu before boarding the train to Canterlot so she might visit her parents, her mother in particular.

It was like this every year for the five years they had been married, and it had been like this even before Twilight had come into Fluttershy's life. Now, the timid mare had settled into her familiar spot to simply stare out into the horizon before her and reflect on the day. Desperate to distract herself, Fluttershy observed her surroundings. The sky was a heavy monochromatic colour of various shades of grey that spoke like a storm with booming thunder, but was too afraid to actually let loose a torrent of water.

The ground was the opposite; a lush and vibrant green that stretched on for what seemed like eternity, inviting anypony to simply frolic upon it. The two colours clashed on the edge of the horizon and instead of creating an uncomfortable mix, they instead blended and gave the atmosphere a tranquil air. However, Fluttershy could not quite grasp the calming nature due to the conflict in her mind. The sigh on her lips finally let go as she exhaled her stored breath, the light sound cutting through the silence.

However, the sound faded as quickly as it had come as it was swept away in the air of the afternoon. As time passed, Fluttershy fell deeply into her own thoughts, her eyes glazed over and her gaze seemed to continue on in an infinite stare. Life, death, fate, love...all these thoughts and more passed through Fluttershy's mind as she sifted through her thoughts. A small sliver of movement caught her eye, bringing the mare back from the depths of her trance.

A young fox and its mother ran across the expanse, stopping every so often to partake in smelling something or some other interest before disappearing into the woods on Fluttershy's right. A flash of bitterness rose up in Fluttershy as she watched the pair go and she turned her narrowing eyes onto the town of Ponyville. The speck was filled with noise as the ponies within cheered for the day of Fluttershy's angst and anger. Fluttershy, in a burst of jealousy, wished that the sky would open up and drench all the happy ponies within Ponyville.

Of course, the pegasus quickly took it back, her kind nature batting back the anger. She told herself that just because she was suffering didn't mean others had to as well. Another sigh filled the air as Fluttershy tried to fall back into the depths of her mind. However, a light tug on her tail made the mare turn and see a squirrel. It back to squeak and speak to her, but she silenced it with her hoof and told him in a gentle voice that she wished to be alone today.

The creature of course obliged and bounded away, but not before giving her eyes of sorrow. After that, a few more animals came up to her, begging for her attention or simply wanting something from her and she sent them all away. She took their expressed sadness and muted anger in kind, whispering apology after apology as they left her. Every year was the same, but to Fluttershy, time would never make it any easier to ask her friends to leave her be.

As she thought of friends, she wondered what the other Elements were doing. Fluttershy wondered if Rainbow would go visit her mother in Cloudsdale and race with her, if Rarity would visit her mother and talk fashion or if it would be the other way around, if Applejack would go to the Apple Family Cemetery and clean her mother's grave, if Pinkie would head home to the rock farm to visit her mother and help out...but most of all, Fluttershy wondered what her love was doing with her mother: if they were discussing magic, or Twilight's studies with Celestia, or any other topic.

Fluttershy's thoughts lingered on Twilight. She was ashamed and upset with herself that she couldn't bring her distress and concern to her wife of five whole years (and they had dated for two years before that). Every year she tried, but ended up mumbling and changing the subject. It hurt to send Twilight to her mother every year for the sake of celebrating the day with her maternal figure, but Fluttershy couldn't bring herself to upset Twilight and force the lavender pony to stay with her.

The yellow pegasus had, in the years before her marriage, considered bringing up her pain with any of her other friends, but found the result the same as if she tried to bring it up with Twilight: her tongue would suddenly fight against her and make it so she simply couldn't. Fluttershy stared at the horizon where grey met green and began to fade into a trance once again when a familiarly soft voice called out to her. The voice had scared Fluttershy out of her near-trance and she spun to see Twilight walking up to her.

Confusion dominated Fluttershy's mind as she tried to figure out what her lover was doing here. She presented this confusion in the form of a question, asking Twilight why she wasn't in Canterlot. Instead of answering, the lavender unicorn simply sat herself next to her lover and was silent. Fluttershy was surprised, but took the silence for what it was and went back to staring out at the empty horizon. However, ten minutes past and Twilight had yet to say a word.

So, Fluttershy looked over at her magic wielding wife and saw that where her face had once been emotionless and neutral, it had since shifted to one that was plagued by conflict. Fluttershy extended a wing and wrapped it around Twilight, pulling the unicorn close. The couple sat like that in complete silence, with time passing them by as if they were statues. Finally, Twilight spoke, asking what Fluttershy was doing out on this lonely hill.

Fluttershy answered Twilight's question with another question, asking once again why her wife wasn't in Canterlot visiting her mother. The unicorn said that she had been troubled for years about Fluttershy's behavior on this day and had expressed her concern to her mother. Twilight then said that her mother had insisted she come back and comfort her wife, so she had gotten on the first train back. Twilight continued, saying that when she didn't find Fluttershy at their home, she searched all over town, asking anypony if they had seen her.

Only one had, a grey stallion who had looked out of place in the celebratory town. He had pointed Twilight to this region, but couldn't give her an exact location. She followed his hoof and nodded but when she had turned to thank him, he was gone. Twilight took a breath of air, her story finished. She then asked Fluttershy the same question from before. Fluttershy stared down at the grass she was laying on and was silent. She felt a comforting nuzzle from her wife and she looked up into the beautiful eyes of the pony she married and couldn't help as a tear escaped her eye.

Twilight wiped it away tenderly and told Fluttershy that if she didn't want to talk about it, Twilight promised not to pursue the matter. However, Fluttershy shook her head and said that she needed to get the weight off her chest. So, with a deep breath, Fluttershy began to tell Twilight of the day of her youth...when she had lost her mother. The pair had been strolling through Cloudsdale, admiring the day as they usually did. However, the pair had been swept up in the parade that was going through the city in the sky and while a bit frightened, the two quickly became engrossed within the festivities.

Sadly, the parade passed by a building scheduled to be taken down and one of the support pillars had broken, it's base already weak from years of existence. Everypony had moved, but Fluttershy had been glued to the spot as her impending death rushed down to meet her. Right before the pillar had crushed her, Fluttershy had been shoved out of the way and instead, another yellow pegasus had been crushed. Twilight gasped silently as Fluttershy became silent.

Fluttershy could tell that Twilight knew exactly who had saved the young filly at the time, but continued nonetheless. Fluttershy told Twilight that after her mother had died during the parade, the yellow pegasus had been put into an orphanage and the rest was history. Twilight wiped the tears from both her eyes and Fluttershy's and pulled her wife into a soft embrace.

Fluttershy cried quietly against the soft lavender fur as Twilight held her. After years of holding in this burden, Fluttershy finally felt free from the oppressive nature of the day that celebrated mothers everywhere. The couple laid there until the sky became dark with night and finally headed home.

~~One Year Later~~

Fluttershy was laying on the familiar grassy hill like she did every year, except this time she had brought her wife with her as soon as she had left home. The lavender unicorn was asleep beside her, a book open in front of her. Fluttershy smiled and gently kissed the lavender pony's forehead, making the sleeping mare smile in her sleep.

When the day had arrived, Fluttershy was pleased to know that there was no pain in her heart as she went on to do her chores. She had even went with Twilight to Canterlot to wish Twilight's mother a joyous day. When the couple had returned, Fluttershy insisted upon returning to this hill. Of course, Twilight was worried when Fluttershy suggested it since after her confession a year ago, Fluttershy had gone through some rough spots.

While she had been relieved of the pain of her past, it had been hard to let go of the feeling that she had carried with her for the better part of twelve years. The trauma of losing a mother at such a young age had truly taken a toll upon Fluttershy, but with the help and patience of her wife, Fluttershy had managed to work through it all.

The yellow pegasus sighed happily as the sun touched the horizon and began to paint the sky in a soft orange. Twilight yawned and sleepily opened her eyes, asking how long she had been out. The pegasus mare chuckled and told her for a few hours. Twilight nodded and watched the sun with her wife, cuddling as close as she could to the warmth of the yellow pegasus and her feathers.

When Celestia's orb had gone halfway down the horizon, Fluttershy leaned over and kissed the love of her life and whispered the three words that had become so familiar to them both in their years of marriage. With a content smile, Twilight whispered them back as they watched the sun slowly drop over the lip of the horizon and make way for the moon, ending that year's Mother's Day.

Author's Note

Well, this was certainly an interesting project for me. I've read plenty of things that could convey such emotion and feeling without the characters uttering a single word and I wanted to try my hand at it. I think I did a pretty decent job, but that judgement isn't up to me.

As you might have read, this was for a TwiShy contest initiated by DarqFox so wish me luck!