Chapters Ch1:
Discord was sitting next to Celestia in her tidy little wooden carriage. They were both flying through the dusk to some town where some ponies were dying or something, and Celestia would try to use Discord as some sort of Deus-Ex device.
He never seemed to be able to explain to her the simple fact that he fed on order. If he created order instead of chaos, he would starve to death. In fact, if he didn't do either for long enough, he would starve to death anyway. The only reason he had survived a thousand years as a statue was because he was a statue.
"So you understand what you're supposed to do, right?" Celestia asked, staring as intensely as she could at Discord without changing her expression.
"Huh?" Discord pretended to not have heard her. He was watching any unfortunate pegasi he passed try to move or destroy his now living clouds.
"Why are you-" Unfortunately, Celestia finally noticed what he was doing, "Discord, stop that at once!" She said, annoyed.
After watching Discord quickly return the clouds to normal, Celestia put a hoof to her forehead and sighed, feeling a migraine coming.
"This is the fifth time I've tried to explain your job to you," She scolded. " I'm sorry, but from now on you will have to act only as I say."
"What was that?" Discord asked, distracted. Of course, he had heard everything she said, all five repetitions and the final speech. He was supposed to tear apart a mafia with his usual antics, which did imply some nice chaos, but it would be bad for him in the long run. When he was ruling, he encouraged these sorts of things! Well, as long as they didn't get too out of hand or too powerful... Anyway, since disrupting the ponies around him was so delicious, he couldn't help but attempt it all the time!
Celestia started to clench her teeth out of annoyance, only to find out why Discord had seemed so distracted.
He was playing dress up with her.
Celestia sat in her carriage wearing a pink bikini, a top hat, a pipe, and a monocle. Adding to her annoyance, they were quickly nearing their intended city of Fillydelphia, and there wouldn't be enough time to take any of the apparel off.
"Many welcomes princess..." the green unicorn looked up, "Celestia?"
Celestia's carriage guards looked back in curiosity.
Princess Celestia quickly shook off the top hat, monocle, and pipe from of her face. She then tore at her bikini with her mouth and quickly ripped it off.
But it was too late. Her guard ponies and Discord were all laughing uncontrollably. Even the welcome pony was finding it hard not to laugh. Celestia simply acted as if nothing had happened and tried to talk about work, causing everypony and Discord to laugh even harder.
They were completely dissonant against their surroundings.
With the darkened and graffitied cityscape, the hobo-fires, and the occasional screams, Discord started to feel at home once again...
But he had to focus on work... The welcome pony was a double agent. He had worked for months gaining the trust of the local mafia, giving them details of only unimportant aspects of Fillydelphia, Canterlot, the Princesses, and other things they requested. All the while he had to make sure he had a back-story explaining how he had found every single piece of data. The villains he was trying to stop were smart ! Even the slightest slip-up would have him removed from the group at best, and killed at worst.
But despite the fact that Discord was actually slightly interested in one of his jobs for once, all of that suddenly started to seem a bit less important...
He felt an intense source of chaos within the city. He always enjoyed chaos that he didn't have to create, but he learned over the years that certain intensities just burned themselves out and tasted more and more bitter as time went on. He also found out that helping these certain ponies led to so much more chaos in the long run. And this one seemed very promising. It had an intensity that he swore couldn't come from just one pony - despite his senses - and yet it was still only just a little bitter. He swore he could almost hear the chaotic inner struggle of that pony...
He wanted to help a pony before they burnt theirself out, but he was also looking forward to annihilating a mafia...
...How could he be in two places at once? He could duplicate himself visually, but those were images that he could only maintain at a relatively short distance, and that was assuming he had his fair share of chaos already.
He thought for a while, for once actually distracted from the scene around him, and rested his chin on a paw. He walked along with the other ponies, not paying any attention to his surroundings. He was sure doubling himself was possible. He didn't know why he was sure, but he was more sure of that than almost anything else!
And after a while, he remembered a news article he read to catch up on recent happenings after being freed.
The article's image was of several Pinkie Pie's inspecting different parts of a house. (Many of them stared directly into the camera.) It was unnerving, even for him.
According to that article, Pinkie Pie had somehow managed to clone herself and cause total chaos throughout Ponyville! (He couldn't help but feel so proud of her after reading that!)
With that, it was decided. He would have to go to Ponyville and ask Pinkie Pie for help.
He snapped his attention back to the scene around him. They were in a room now, a very cheap apartment room with no furniture and stains on the walls. It was a room where you definitely wouldn't expect to find a princess. Which was good, because this meeting was a secret.
"And then they all went to-" the welcome pony continued.
"I'm sorry," Discord interrupted, "May I take a bathroom break?"
All the ponies stared at him in slight annoyance. Well, all except Celestia.
"Of course," She nodded patiently.
Discord popped out of existence and reappeared in front of Sugarcube corner.
*knock*
Discord waited at the door for a while. He checked his wrist, producing a watch that only stared back at him, disapproving of his desire to know the time. Annoyed, he turned it into molten lava and rubbed it all over his arm. The warmth was calming, and suddenly, waiting didn't seem so bad-
"Why hello the-" Mrs. Cup Cake opened the door and looked up at Discord. He towered above her and looked down at her with his glowing, soulless, yellow-red eyes. His entire body clashed with itself, and his arm was slowly being eaten away by molten lava, a fact that he seemed to take pleasure in. Worst of all, he grinned at her. He grinned with those sharp, deadly teeth.
"-eeEEEAAAAAAUUUGH!" She screamed. Discord puckered; a sour taste was suddenly in his mouth. He was thankful he remembered to cast a sound barrier spell; it would be annoying if the whole town noticed him.
"Honey," Mr. Carrot Cake spoke up. "That's no way to invite-" He stopped, noticing who this 'guest' was and seeing his wife have her soul sucked out by a horror that defied all logic and bathed the world in insanity.
"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Carrot cake ran back and forth throughout the building. It was a miracle neither of the babies woke up.
Discord puckered a bit more.
Mrs. Cake passed out from fear. Carrot Cake ran over to her, believing that his wife was now dead. He silently cursed himself for not being stronger. But no, he shouldn't curse himself! He should curse the one who had brought him this tragedy so suddenly and so unfairly!
"You..." He glared up at the beast, "YOU MONSTER!" He yelled.
"She's fine," Discord deadpanned, interrupting the chaos. He always loved when ponies would feed him after seeing him for the first time in their life, it was such a kind introduction. But he had serious business to do.
"...What?" Mr. Cake breathed, confused.
"look," Discord pointed, "Her chest is rising and falling, that means she's breathing. She's simply passed out."
"Oh..." Carrot Cake smiled, then passed out on top of his wife.
...Now what? Discord thought to himself, I can't enter the house uninvited to search for Pinkie Pie. That would be rude!
Luckily, Pinkie Pie trotted down the stairs only a few moments after Carrot Cake passed out... She trotted drunkenly from lack of sleep.
*YAWN* Pinkie held a hoof over her mouth, "Keep it down, you party ponies," she giggled drunkenly, " some mares need to sleep y'know."
She looked down and noticed Mr. and Mrs. Cake were both already asleep.
"Oh," She smiled lazily and laughed, still drunkenly walking down the stairs even though she no longer had a purpose to do so, "I guess you do know..."
"Ah, Pinkie Pie!" Discord smiled and waved a paw. This time he didn't appear quite as terrifying.
"Heya Discord..." Pinkie waved lazily and smiled back. Then she stopped, something was weird...
Wait-a-minute , she finally woke up, this is Discord! Why is he here!?
She noticed Mr. and Mrs. Cake unconscious at Discord's feet. Thankfully they both still seemed to be alive.
She looked back up at Discord. He seemed to be smiling; he was barring his teeth and waving, unbelievably happy for some reason as he looked at her. Despite her mind warning her not to, she gathered the full scene into her head.
Her beloved bosses were passed out at the feet of a monster with horrified looks and tear streaks on their faces. She could only imagine the horrors Discord had made them endure until they finally broke, granting him the pleasure he sought. And he achieved that pleasure almost effortlessly, without even damaging their bodies, let alone the building! Just their minds...
Behind them was a still open door. Apparently nopony had heard. Or... nopony had cared...
But that's just silly. Pinkie tried to reassure herself. There were no such things as scary monsters like that. They were all made up to scare ponies for fun and giggles. But then again, she knew of several stories that had recently come true, stories she was still afraid of, and not fun afraid. Several of those stories revolved around the insanity inducing monster named...
"Discord..." Pinkie breathed, narrowed her pupils, and then inhaled, readying herself for the loudest scream of her life.
Discord noticed this and effortlessly removed her mouth. He did cast a noise suppressing spell, but he still liked his ears, and if he lost concentration the spell would fall apart.
Pinkie quickly realized she was completely helpless and completely alone. She whimpered and almost cried out of fear.
"...hmmph..." Discord, slightly annoyed and feeling like he was almost out of time, rested his head against his claws. Sometimes greetings lasted a bit too long and went a bit too sour.
He noticed Pinkie slowly backing away with her huge watery eyes. He teleported Mr. and Mrs. Cake onto a nearby couch and teleported the terrified Pinkie Pie a few feet in front of him. He didn't have time to calm her down, he needed to do his business, and quick.
Discord closed the door behind him, shattering the last hope for the terrified Pinkie Pie.
That was it, she was going to break. She felt herself slipping, her mind went to places she couldn't, and didn't want to fathom. She saw the birth and death of a thousand worlds and suddenly didn't care.
Backed into a corner, her eyes went dull and her hair fell flat. Her body and mind readied themselves for one purpose: The death of the one who had threatened-
"I'm going to put your mouth back" He said, interrupting her thoughts and quite possibly saving his own life, "If you scream, I'll remove your legs, and you'll be known as Pinkie Pillow from here on out."
Pinkie snapped out of the trance, wondering what just happened. Her hair slowly reinflated.
Her eyes went wide as the threat came into her mind, she was horrified at the thought. She would have gasped if she still had a mouth.
"Do you promise not to scream?" Discord asked.
Pinkie sat there for a second, not knowing what to do.
"Ahem!" Discord cleared his throat impatiently, snapping her out of her confusion.
Reluctantly, she nodded, seeing a way out. She was horrified about what she might be agreeing to not scream about, but this seemed to be the best option.
Discord snapped his fingers, restoring Pinkie's mouth.
She bared her teeth, holding back her screams and whimpers. She did make a promise after all.
"W-w- What do you want?" She squeaked, sitting back, shaking uncontrollably, and terrified for her life.
"How did you duplicate yourself?" Discord asked quickly, slightly annoyed.
"...What?" She squeaked even more quietly this time. Her pupils were like dots. She had no idea what he was talking about. It was like batman came into her house, demolished half of her living space and killed her parents, and then asked for a bedtime story before he slapped you and did a little MJ dance. Yeah! That was a perfect analogy! Wait, who's Batman? And what's an MJ dance?
"A while back, Ponyville was overrun by tens of Pinkie Pies," Discord explained quickly. "Twilight had to make a test-"
Pinkie realized what he was talking about and spoke quickly, glad for a way out.
"Where the brambles are thickest
"Gathering your very own reflection in sight,
""And into her own reflection she stared,
She recited the old tale as quickly as possible without thinking.
"Oh!" Discord straightened up, surprised. Nopony had ever given him useful information in riddle form before. That was his style! Now he was even more proud of Pinkie Pie!
What an adorable little ball of chaos! He wouldn't be surprised if she was somehow related to one of his pink clouds. It certainly would explain some of her antics.
Discord teleported a few feet, ruthlessly murdering the short distance between him and Pinkie, but not before killing its entire family in front of it and forcing it to watch.
Why would he do that? Pinkie asked herself, That's just terrible...
He slowly bent down and picked up the shivering ball of fur. Oh, the poor thing! He must have scared it half to death!
"Thank you so much!" He said with real happiness as he hugged and nuzzled the now sobbing ball of fur tightly. He then set her back on the ground, patted her head, and popped out of existence...
Pinkie Pie swayed back and forth, now incredibly dizzy and confused. She let out a strange, drunken laugh.
Suddenly she realized she wasn't breathing normally, and she also realized she felt unbelievably sick. Involuntarily, Pinkie Pie threw up, swayed a bit more, and passed out.
Discord flew over the forest. With his vision, it was easy to tell where the brambles were thickest. He found the entrance to the pond after only an instant of searching. It had just been seconds between when he was asking Pinkie for directions and when he was standing at the mouth of the pond.
He wasted no time. He recited the poem, modifying it a bit since he wasn't a mare and adding a few gestures.
"And into his own reflection he stared,
Discord reached his paw into the mirror pond and pulled out one not unlike his own. Okay... maybe it was a little unlike his own...
“Oh dear...” He said, “I may have misworded it...”
“Hrshgrfgrhgnbph!” His horribly disfigured replica coughed back. It was more of an Eldritch abomination than a replica of Discord, “AAAAAANNNNGH!”
Discord had to cover his ears to quiet the screaming.
“Shut up!” He finally screamed back and grabbed the disfigured draconequus's head, “And listen, if you value your life!” He didn't usually make death threats, but this thing was already giving him a headache.
Discord conjured up a picture of Celestia and walked over to it, “You are to cause as much chaos as possible without disobeying her orders, or hurting any pony.”
“...kaos...” The thing calmed down a bit. Though it was hard to tell if it was actually calm. Discord mostly just went by the fact that it wasn't screaming.
“Here are the rules she already made that you need to follow,” A list popped out of the air and floated into the disfigured beast's paw... if you could call it that. It looked more like the rotting root of a tree.
“...And I think that's it-” Discord paused, “Wait, one more thing,” He conjured a picture of Fluttershy out of thin air.
“If you mess with her or her friends, I will destroy you.” He narrowed his eyes, then quickly went back to his usual cheery self.
“That's everything, tootaloo!” He waved his paw and disappeared.
Discord came back from his bathroom break horribly disfigured. He looked over to Celestia and screeched a bunch of nonsense at her.
“Praise Star Swirl!" She gasped, concerned for the terrible creature for the first time in her life, "What happened to you!?”
Discord had one last thing to check on before he went. And with his double, he didn't have to hurry.
He teleported back inside sugarcube corner. The Cakes were fast asleep on their couch, but Pinkie Pie was shivering in a nightmare next to her own barf.
Discord cringed and took a second to think of things from her perspective. He looked like he almost murdered her bosses and then interrogated her for a powerful secret, didn't he...
"Well..." He sighed. This was no way to treat a likely protégé.
He did the best he could. He cleaned up the barf with a wave of his paw, produced a pillow and blanket for Pinkie with a snap of his claws, placed her gently inside the blanket, and rested her head on the pillow with a few more waves of his paw. He could have placed her in her own bed, but he feared she would wake up confused and scared again.
Pinkie Pie slowly stopped shivering and her breathing returned to normal.
Discord was delighted to see Pinkie calm down. Fear and sadness weren't his favorite causes of chaos, they tasted sour. And hopelessness was just bitter. Frustration was nice and salty though, and both confusion and misunderstanding were sweet.
Pinkie's fear had left a sour and bitter aftertaste in his mouth, it was the worst combination ever.
He thought of one last thing before he left: What would Fluttershy do...
A note! He thought, brightening. Writing an apology note was probably the best thing he could do in this situation!
He produced scroll, quill, and ink and started to write.
"Dear Pinkie Pie,
Sorry for scaring you like I did, it was not my intention to do so. (No matter how adorable you may have looked when you were scared.) I simply needed to duplicate myself so I could both fulfill my duties with Celestia and help a pony in need.
Thank you.
Many apologies,
The message was missing something... But what could it be missing? He said all the words he needed, so it couldn't be that...
Shrugging, Discord added a P.S. and doodled a picture of a giddy moose riding a tricycle below it. That would definitely cheer her up!
Satisfied, he rolled the scroll back up and tucked it against Pinkie Pie in her blanket. She turned and hugged the new object in her fore-hooves.
Discord teleported off. He could still feel that pony off in the distance. The chaos was as incredible as ever, and only slightly more bitter.
Next morning, Pinkie Pie woke up.
She was about to get up and feed gummy his breakfast when she noticed she wasn't in her room. Slowly the events of last night crept up on her.
She shivered, but this made her notice a scroll that was pressed up against her. She picked it up and unrolled it.
She was still angry at Discord for scaring her like that. It wasn't fun at all!
...Well, okay, maybe it was a little fun... Pinkie smirked slowly, Discord would be incredible on nightmare night...
Still though, she was mad at him...
She unrolled the scroll and started reading...
Whatever apologies he made in the letter didn't really help. She didn't like him scaring her like that , even if he had done it for a good cause.
She quickly reached the bottom of the letter and saw the picture of a giddy moose riding a tricycle...
She giggled.
No... She couldn't stay mad at him.
ch2:
Lightning Dust and several other unimportant ponies sat on the roof of an unimportant skyscraper during an unimportant night in Fillydelphia. There were clouds to sit on, but there were so many that you couldn't see the ground, and pegasi in Fillydelphia needed to see the ground if they were going to make plans, due to the skyscrapers. But that wasn't important.
They were arguing about something.
“Why should we listen to you ?” one of her pegasus crew responded, “You're not the fastest flyer, you're not even close ! You got expelled from the wonder-bolts after the first few days!”
Most of her crew had always annoyed her, but this was personal.
She twitched, “Wonder-bolt or not, I'm still your boss! And I'm still nearly twice as fast as all of you. If one of you mother-buckers has a problem with that, then you can go home, and I'll give some other pony your job. Because I'd rather have some foal who can barely fly over someone like you who flies against me!” She was ready to kill any of her team who decided to protest further.
They wisely shut up. And sadly, most of them did go home that moment.
Lightning Dust clenched her teeth as they all turned their backs and flew away into the dusk. She watched helplessly as they flew back to their disgusting homes in their terrible city.
She had a very hard time concealing her pain and holding back her anger.
In the end, only two ponies stayed: Constellation and Motion Plus, Mare and a Stallion respectively.
Constellation was a jet-black mare of average size who had a terrible Wing Power: 6.5. She didn't care much for weather control, but it gave her time to think and study the stars or something. Her eyes were a chaotic but beautiful neon mix of every color of the rainbow, her cutie mark was some sort of disc of stars, and it seemed like the underside of her wings and fur glowed like her eyes. Lightning swore if she just practiced her flying she would look beautiful in the sky.
Motion Plus was gray-blue all over, his eyes, fur, mane and wings were all that same, dull color. He looked like a statue, but his Wing Power said otherwise: 12.9. If he paid more attention to flying instead of playing games and sports, he might have even been able to keep up with Lightning herself! But games and sports were his talents... or, no- motion was his talent? It was somehow indicated by those black squares that were his cutie mark.
He was probably the only reason Constellation was still there.
A while ago, he fancied her, she rejected him, 7 months later they're together... or... not? They never cuddled, kissed, or even hugged each-other. It was a complex... thing...
Lightning thought Motion was just using Constellation to limit himself, because whenever she was gone he was full of energy.
Lightning Dust... was confused as to why they were still here... The fact that more than half of the ponies left indicated that she wasn't fit to be weather leader, as per her job description. She probably wouldn't be able to find another job either since her record was so publicly smashed and then stomped on.
She stared at them for a while, not saying anything. Her anger had faded after the ponies had left, and it was no longer possible to hold back her pain. But she was damn well going to give it her best!
Motion sat there like a statue, staring at her knowingly. Constellation looked up at the stars, then remembered she could not see them because of the clouds, and looked down at the city. Lightning wished she would just leave if she was only going to make the situation more awkward.
Motion was the only pony she had really liked on her team, he was loyal to the end... the very end...
Lightning looked down, avoiding Motion's intense gaze and Constellation's awkwardness.
“Just go home...” She said quietly.
They sat there for a few more seconds, then Constellation reluctantly did as Lightning asked.
Motion however, galloped towards her. He threw his front hooves around her, intent on nuzzling her for some reason. But she shrank back at the touch as if he burned her.
He sat back, confused. After a while of thinking and confused glances, he held out his hoof. Reluctantly, Lightning shook it...
It felt weird.
Lightning Dust took out her keys, opened the door to her apartment, and walked inside. It was as nice, clean, and empty as it always was. Come next month, she probably wouldn't be able to pay for it.
She flopped down on her couch, not caring enough to make it to her bed. She was tired, tired of this horrible day. But not defeated... she would never be defeated.
I just have to get my reputation back! She yelled in her head.
-And how are you going to do that? Another voice fought her.
Simple... I- I just do some awesome stunts! Like always! She smiled at the simple solution.
-Awesome stunts aren't going to work anymore, that's not the problem now... It explained calmly. How could it be calm about this? This was her life!
Then... I'll show them how good of a leader I am! She answered.
-How? Nopony wants to follow you now. The voice explained away her plans again.
Well, maybe I can make them follow me. She smirked deviously.
-That will probably make your reputation even worse. The voice inside her head warned.
Not if I... She started...
She couldn't think of anything.
Her mind wandered to what she said a few moments ago in her outburst.
“Because I'd rather have some foal who can barely fly over someone like you who flies against me!”
She thought back to all of the ponies who flew against her and silently cursed all of them. She thought about what she would have done better if she were in their hooves... And she realized she probably would have flown against herself as well. In fact, that was what she was doing the whole time anyway: flying against other ponies.
But I was their leader... and they had to at least abandon a few thing if they were going to get results! She argued.
-They have aspirations too, and maybe they cared about those aspirations more than your goals. The voice still remained calm. It sounded like it was hiding something from her, and she would find out!
She went quiet for a while...
You know what? She thought, Maybe I did make a mistake!
-ahuh It responded, bored but hopeful.
Maybe I made a lot of mistakes! She admitted.
-Ahuh. The voice responded again, a little more hopeful this time.
So what! She sat up, I've heard of ponies that made far worse mistakes! They didn't have their lives ruined! No, some of them actually benefited from it.
To think that I should be punished worse than them is just horseapples! She continued.
-How unfair the situation is doesn't change anything. Her sad side said.
She lied down and sniffed, defeated...
No, she wasn't defeated. She was never defeated... ever.
"NO!" She screamed and held up a pillow, hopefully blocking some sound. "BUCK THAT! BUCK YOU! AND" She smothered her face with the pillow and screamed as loud as she could "BUCK THE WONDERBOLTS! "
I'll get my reputation back... She told herself, seething with rage.
-How? That voice just wouldn't leave her alone.
Exhausted of all the fair and normal ways of doing that, her thoughts took a darker turn. If the world wasn't going to play fair with her, then she wasn't going to play fair with it!
Her dissonant thoughts and plans continued throughout - and into - the night.
***
"I'm sorry," Discord interrupted, "May I take a bathroom break?"
All the ponies stared at him in slight annoyance. Well, all except Celestia.
"Of course," She nodded.
***
Discord stood near the door.
Here he was... at the doorstep of the impossible pony. The pony who had shined far too brightly for far too long.
Now that he was here, he swore he could feel her mind constantly rearranging itself. It would find or create some order, heal itself accordingly, and then break down cataclysmically, blasting Discord with chaos the likes of which he had never tasted before! Best of all, it was all completely unpredictable!
He stood by the door, too awed to do anything for a while...
*Knock*... It was like nothing he had ever felt before...
*Knock*... It was terrifying...
*Knock*... It was beautiful ...
He waited nervously, readying himself for a good impression.
I'm actually nervous! He chuckled, Fancy that!
Lightning Dust heard a knock on her door.
Who would be out at this time of night? And who would be knocking at her door now that her reputation was so publicly smashed?
...Maybe it was Motion... She honestly wouldn't hate seeing that pony again...
Curious, she trotted over and opened the door with her hoof. Standing before her was Discord, the god of chaos.
She looked up with confused, slightly terrified eyes.
“Hello there," Discord smiled cheerfully and waved his paw at the mare, "mind if I come in?"
This scenario was simply too surreal. I mean, imagine if zombie Hitler knocked on your door and asked to enter your place, all while beaming a disarming smile at you. You'd want to say no, but you'd be too shocked and confused to think for a while.
Lightning Dust acted the same; she simply stared back, not comprehending things for a moment. Unwittingly, she took a few steps back, allowing him room to enter.
“Why thank you!” Discord gleamed and let himself in.
Lighting panicked, “I- bu- wh-”, she looked around and found a hiding pla- a strategically advantageous location. She flew behind her couch and ducked.
Discord teleported, closing the distance with ease, and reached down...
“I'm sorry,” Discord said as he picked her up from behind the couch, as if she were a kitten. A terrified, confused kitten, “as much as I'd like to play hide and seek, I have something important to discuss.” He placed her on one end of her own couch, teleported, and seated himself at the opposite end. He was starting to get tired of sour tastes.
“w-..." Lightning Dust took a moment to gather herself. She would not be stuttering or showing any fear, not even to this... thing.
"What do you want to discuss!?” She spoke bravely.
“Oh, nothing too important," he shrugged, "just a simple matter of chaos."
Lightning stared back blankly. She had no idea what he was talking about.
Discord sighed.
“Well, look at it this way,” Discord coughed twice into his claws. As he did so, a top hat, monocle, pipe, cane, and other spiffy attire covered him.
“I'm not a god so much as a beast,
Discord teleported to a nearby table in Lightning's living room. He put his paws down on the table and faced Lightning with a terrible grin. Everything on that table levitated a few feet into the air.
Then he stood back up and swung his cane in patternless motions, continuing his song.
“You see chaos at best is just a terrible mess,
Suddenly, the pieces flew every which way, scattering about Lightning's living room and kitchen. It was sweet; Discord licked his teeth.
He threw his cane away and stretched.
“So when rhythm is corrupted,
Discord brought out a handkerchief and wiped his maw. He was quite satisfied with the taste of the patterns in his song.
He started pacing in front of Lightning, a bit depressed now for some reason. His spiffy clothes suddenly disappeared.
“Sadly you see, it normally ends there,
Suddenly, everything that had previously littered her table slowly faded and disappeared, leaving a perfectly clean - and orderly - room.
He then clicked his claws, causing the table pieces to fall back to where they were before he started his riddle. He looked back at Lightning.
“And now once again, the order that I need,
Discord sadly patted his maw. This taste was much smaller and much more bitter. He ended the song prematurely, but he didn't get much from it.
Lightning Dust tilted her head and squinted her eyes, trying to decipher his strange message. The sheer unexpectedness of it combined with the new challenge had somehow calmed her down immensely.
She always liked a challenge, and puzzles were no exception.
...Apparently, Discord had sensed her inner struggle from a while ago, because how else would she have destroyed order for him? And by his riddle, that made her a friend, and now he was here to make sure her song didn't end. So...
Discord had popped into her kitchen while she was musing and was feeding himself the order of everything in it. Or, in other words, making a complete mess of things.
“You want to help me?” She asked with a bored voice, only raising an eyebrow. In truth she was annoyed, confused, and happily surprised.
“precisely,” He nodded, barely distracted from the mess he was making.
“...I don't need your help.” She lightly clenched her teeth, “I'm Lightning Dust ! Fastest flier in Equestria!”
“Oh, yes...” Discord barely paid any attention to her, “I'm sure your just fine ,” He replied sarcastically.
"And what do you mean by that ?" She asked, more annoyed.
Finally, he turned to her and deadpanned "Do you really think your better than every single pony on the planet?"
"Yes." She didn't hesitate.
Discord had to cover his maw with a paw to stop a surprised outburst of laughter.
"What's so funny!" She grew even more annoyed.
Discord couldn't take it anymore, he let out the laughter that he hadn't enjoyed in a while.
"I said," She growled, nearly blind with rage, "What's! So! Funny!?"
Lightning's fur went white and her mane went up in flames. Like any other pony that got angry enough, she lost mot of her identifying features to the rage.
Discord simply laughed more. Lightning Dust flew over and pounced on him, collapsing him and holding him under a hoof.
"I don't care if you're a god!" She screamed at him, "Nobody laughs in my face!"
Discord quieted his chuckles. She was actually burning him! How interesting!
He hugged her, confident that he could heal whatever burns he got in an instant. Surprised, Lightning's flames quickly went out.
"Oh you ponies are just so adorable !" Discord squeezed and nuzzled her.
Lightning's entire body twitched like a squashed bug. Her eyes went wide as her ears reddened slightly. It was weird; this wasn't her usual reaction. Then again, no one had ever hugged her quite like that ... and she didn't... dislike the feeling...
"Huh," Discord got up, leaving a dazed and confused Lightning Dust sprawled on the floor. "That's certainly new." He raised an eyebrow, "Haven't you ever been hugged before?"
Lightning Dust tried to open her mouth to indicate that she had been hugged, just like any other pony. Just not like that. It was usually a meaningless enveloping of her body, more of an annoyance than anything. She usually couldn't wait to break the embrace so she work on something more important.
Why had it felt different now? Was it because, for the first time in her life, she was actually distressed?
Whatever it was, she didn't like showing weakness, especially not to this creature. Her faced flamed in emberracement and anger.
Discord assumed that this reaction meant that no, she hadn't ever been hugged before.
"Well that's just sad !" Discord furrowed his brows, interrupting her confused emotions. Even he had been hugged before! His family had cared for him quite well! And Fluttershy insisted on hugging him too.
This was an injustice! Even to him!
"Tell you what," He said, looking serious for once, "I'll make it up to you." He looked down at her, "What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but were never able to?"
Lightning paused for a while, all the emberracement and anger in her changed to amusement. He completely misunderstood her and jumped to conclusions, didn't he?
I guess the god of chaos isn't perfect after all. She thought.
She would have corrected his assumption, but if she did that he might take back his offer! And she wasn't about to say no to a gift from a god!
She picked herself back up and cleared her throat. This felt terrible, using pity to her advantage... But she suddenly had the chance to fulfill a lifelong dream.
"I've always wanted to see the princess... Princess Celestia I mean..." She said. She always wanted to know what kind of pony it took to rule over all of Equestria, she just never got the chance. That pony was royalty, and it was impossible to get a word in with royalty.
"Hmm," a worried look grew over Discord's face, this would be tough!
"I'll see what I can do," He finally said and reached his paw down to Lightning Dust.
Still a bit unsure of what she was doing, she reluctantly lifted her hoof off the floor and let the alien paw wrap around it. Discord teleported the both of them to Canterlot. He knew Celestia should have returned by now, but he didn't know what to do about the duplication situation...
Lightning Dust and Discord were suddenly standing near the entrance to Canterlot castle. Discord looked at a specific, empty spot of pavement and made a "hmm" sound.
"That's usually where she parks her carriage," Discord said, more to himself than to Lightning. "So I guess we'll just have to wait."
Discord looked up to the sky, waiting for Celestia to arrive. Ligntning Dust decided to look up as well.
Discord was sitting on a lawn chair playing paddle ball out of boredom. Lightning dust, however, hadn't moved at all.
She couldn't take it anymore, "You know that hug thing was a misunderstanding right? You jumped to conclusions."
"I know." Discord didn't take his eye off the paddle ball.
"...What?"
Discord was following directions in a medical malpractice book. The section that the book was opened to was labeled, "Basics of stitching", and had a picture of a doctor using a needle to sow pony skin together. In between the pages were a few pieces of cloth meant to be sown together using various methods of stitching.
After reading a few directions Discord tried to thread the needle, but every time he thought it would go through, it didn't. Frustrated, he slammed the needle into the cloth. It surprised both Discord and Lightning Dust when blood started to spray out.
Discord, still covered in blood, stood across from Lightning Dust holding a sword in each paw. Lightning Dust widened her eyes a bit.
Discord threw a sword to Lightning Dust, she caught the hilt in her mouth and spat it into her hoof. Discord ran at Lightning and screamed,
"GGGLLAAAAAAAAAADDIIIUUUUUUUUU-"
"You can't die right?" Lightning interrupted.
"Not from being cut. Why?" Discord stopped.
Lightning stood up on her back hooves and spun, swinging the sword towards Discord. He blocked it, causing his sword to move off the the side. While he was defenseless, Lightning Dust lunged forward and cut off the arm holding the sword while laughing.
Discord was lying on the ground covered in blood, still bored. He pushed himself around in a circle with his hind legs as he looked up at the sky. Oh yeah, his arm was back on.
Lightning Dust was sitting down and using her front hoof to wipe blood off her face.
"Aaaaaugh!" Discord sat up and held his paws to his head. "I can't take it anymore!"
"It's been less than a minute." Lightning dust raised an eyebrow.
"Exactly!" Discord exclaimed, standing up, "This is far too long to stay in one place."
Lightning Dust and Discord were wandering around the Canterlot maze gardens to cure their boredom while waiting for Princess Celestia. To Discord, it was a nostalgic stroll, every bush bringing back some memory out of his seemingly endless life. To Lightning Dust, it was her version of beauty; it represented a challenge like nothing else. The skyscrapers of Fillydelphia couldn't compare to this! Still, she held herself back and simply walked next to Discord, enjoying the secret tour of Canterlot.
"I have a question," Lightning raised a hoof, breaking the silence. "You're called 'Discord' ritght? So why are you working to destroy the thing you're named after"
Discord looked down, trying to think of a good way to answer...
Finally, he said. "'Discord' was a name that was given to me for my actions, like many pony names. It doesn't decide everything I do."
With nothing else to do, Lightning looked at Discord curiously and asked, "And what actions were those?"
Discord struggled to explain again "...Well, you see ... in large battles, opponents are usually given names that give some idea of their strategy. And Discord is what fit my strategy the best, " He explained.
"Wait, battle?" Lightning did a double take, She had never heard of any battle before! "What battle!?"
"Er... about a thousand years ago, me and Celestia had a disagreement over something stupid and I got imprisoned in stone for the rest of that time..." Discord shrugged.
"Well... that sucks." Lightning Dust raised her eyebrows a little, trying to fathom it. As she did so, her opinion of Celestia went down a bit, "What would be so worth fighting for that you'd risk that?" She asked.
"I... don't remember..." Discord thought hard, resting his chin on his claws. All he could remember were the various birds and school filly's that went by him in his entombment. The furthest back he could remember was about 700 years ago, when there was still that rage and sadness, the only reason he "remembered" the battle was because of books and ponies. He was sure he could remember if he allowed more of that old emotion into him, but he didn't really want to do that. He liked being carefree.
It was strange though. He never remembered hating anypony, so he wasn't quite sure where the hate was directed.
Lightning noticed that was more of an 'I don't care to remember' than an 'I can't remember'. But she didn't push the subject.
Suddenly Discord didn't want to be in the garden anymore.
He laid his paw on Lightning's back.
"Eep!" she clenched her teeth and widened her eyes in fright.
They teleported from the garden to the very top of the castle. Since it was night, they didn't have to worry about being seen. Or at least, that's what Discord thought.
A cold, damp tree root wrapped around his torso from above his arm.
"You are going to betray your friends," it said before vanishing. Discord wasn't aware his duplicate could even speak, and who else had a tree root for a paw?
Discord and Lightning Dust turned to look at the creature, but found nothing.
"...What was that?" Lightning asked.
"That's probably the second me. He's just trying to stir up more chaos like I instructed. Just ignore him" Discord crossed his arms and furrowed his brow. He didn't like being used for food, he didn't like being disturbed like that, and most of all, he didn't like being lied to for convenience. His only real friend was Fluttershy, he was still reluctant to call any of the others friends. But even so, he would never betray any of them.
"...Wat?" Lightning Dust gave Discord a bemused look.
...He didn't have anything better to do while waiting, so he started explaining the situation.
"Did you ever read articles on some of the strange things happening in Ponyville?" He asked.
"How could I not? That town sees more action than any other," Lightning lazily smirked at how ridiculous that was.
"Well, do you remember reading one called the "Pink apocalypse"?" Discord asked.
Lightning looked down at a small statue in the distance. "No, I think I missed that one."
"Well," Discord led into the sentence, "Apparently, Pinkie Pie found a way to duplicate herself."
"Huh..." Lightning suddenly remembered the high-energy pink pony. If there were several more of them... well... that would be more cute than an apocalypse. She didn't see any problems with it.
"So I simply asked her how she did it," Discord finished.
Lightning paused.
"Wait-a-minute," she slurred while smirking, she was definitely getting tired. "The spirit of chaos had to ask a pink party pony for help?" Lightning was amused at the thought.
"Yes," Discord didn't see what the problem was.
"You didn't just already know?" She asked, still amused at this un-god-like creature beside her.
"I can't just know everything," Discord scoffed. "Information has to come from somewhere , and the best place is usually straight from other ponies."
"other ponies? You're not a pony." Lightning teased.
"Shut-up."
They were quiet for a while, enjoying the view. Canterlot was definitely much more beautiful than Fillydelphia. At night, the city lit up like the stars, and the white ground and plants were bathed in the golden fire.
Suddenly discord felt a slightly sweet and salty taste enter his mouth. It was small in taste, but somehow its intensity was much larger. It reminded him of Twilight Sparkle when she was studying. Twilight wasn't anywhere near Canterlot... but there were probably many more scholars like her in Canterlot. Discord turned his head back to the beautiful city below him. Suddenly, he wanted to see it upside-down.
"What should I flip..." Discord asked himself.
Lightning sat up, excited at the idea, "That thing!" She pointed at a random tree that led to Canterlot castle.
"And the others around it?" He asked, testing her.
"Nope, just that one." She answered.
He liked her style.
Discord was interrupted from changing things in a way that would drive anypony with even slight OCD crazy. The carriage containing Celestia was returning.
"There she is!" Discord stood up. "Finally!"
He poofed a letter out of thin air and handed it to Lightning Dust.
"Here, give this to Celestia, or her guards if they stop you." He said.
Lightning Dust took the letter in her mouth. She was excited! She finally would get to meet the pony who ruled all of Equestria! And since she was drunk with lack of sleep, she didn't think that she might appear threatening, that the letter Discord gave her might have been in kindergarten grade writing, or that it could just be a picture of her assassinating Celestia.
She flew as straight as she could towards the carriage, only deviating from her path to dodge buildings.
Discord let his mind go back to that taste... No, it was way too intense for most ponies...
Lightning Dust flew next to the carriage as it approached the ground.
Princess Celstia opened the letter from the sleep-deprived teal mare. On it, there was a picture of Celestia sitting in her carriage, tearing off her bikini and top hat while everypony and Discord laughed at her. Unamused, she let the paper she was holding combust into flames.
Seeing this, Lightning Dust gave a disheartened look.
"Discord sent you?" Celestia deadpanned.
Lightning Dust simply nodded her head, trying to hide her fear at Celestia's apparent anger.
Celestia sighed...
She furrowed her eyes while staring directly at Lightning Dust, "...what?"
"uh..." Lightning shrank back a bit, "I can come back later if you're tired."
"No... just... get it over with...." Celestia didn't change her expression.
Lighting Dust hesitantly flew into the seat next to Celestia's. She liked flying and didn't want to impose, but she was way too tired.
Lightning smiled, "Well, I just wanted to know what kind of pony it took to rule all of Equestria." Suddenly, she went back to her slightly scared expression, "But you don't look too good right now, so I'd be fine with it if you decided you wanted to talk later."
Celestia sighed, "Discord promised you an interview with the princess?" She raised an eyebrow.
Lighting Dust shook her head up and down rapidly.
"...Fine..." Celestia sighed.
Lightning smiled, making a squeaking noise, then fell asleep.
hmm, Celestia started to feel better after that smile, maybe this won't be as bad as Discord's other antics...
Author's Note
Sorry I took so long to add a new chapter. Work, school, etc. happened.
Lightning Dust woke up to a bright light with a splitting headache. Opening her eyes, she discovered she was in a bright room filled with pastel colors. Directly in front of her was an enormous window with a beautiful view of the morning sun.
This isn't my room. She thought, starting to panic. She tried to think about how she got here, and quickly remembered Discord knocking on her door, giving her a riddle, then teleporting her to Canterlot where she gave princess Celestia a letter. Now that she thought about it, she probably should have checked what was on that letter... But, she wasn't waking up in a dungeon, so it probably didn't say anything too bad.
"Oh, you're awake, my little pony," Lightning heard a calm voice off to her side. "Are you ready to start the interview?"
Lightning Dust looked over to her side and saw none other than princess Celestia. She looked directly at Lightning with an expression of... hope?
"Princess Celestia!" A voice shouted from outside the room, causing Celestia to jump and shy away from the door. "It is time for your royal duties."
"I'm sorry, something has come up, I will have to take care of them later!" Celestia replied with a sheepish grin. Lightning Dust raised an eyebrow.
"What!?" The voice yelled back and tried to push the door open. Celestia ran over and tried to stop the yelling pony from entering. "What could possibly be more important than deciding the laws of Equestria!? Your decisions could effect the very fabric of space!"
"I highly doubt that," she said back while holding the door shut. "Besides, these matters are more immediate."
"Oh, and what would those be?" the voice asked, now annoyed.
Celestia narrowed her eyes, "Rule Maze..." she scolded.
"Oh very well..." Rule Maze gave up. Lightning could hear him slowly trotting away, defeated.
"What are those guards even here for?" Celestia sighed.
"Now," She turned around, shining a hopeful grin at Lightning Dust again. "What questions do you have for me?"
"Uh..." Lightning Dust had a hard time thinking of any questions after that scene. After a few seconds of watching Celestia's smile slowly fade, she decided to ask the obvious.
"How did you and Luna become princesses originally?" She cringed. She was sure that would have been in a book somewhere, and now she appeared unprepared, like a rookie.
"Hmm," Celestia tilted her head, "No one has ever asked me that before..."
Really? Lightning thought.
"Very well," Celestia righted her head, "would you like the short version, or the long version."
"Long version." Lightning said. she had the time, and she was curious.
"Very well," Celestia waved a hoof, marking the beginning of the story, "it all started a long time after the uniting of the pony races. How long, few can remember..."
Trixie concentrated hard on her gravity cloak spell. It was simple in theory, but pulling it off took effort. You had to bend the space around you, making sure to leave at least one part uncloaked so that you wouldn't fall through the ground. It took her months of storing her energy to find the power to pull off the spell, and now it would be easy to sneak into Star-Sparkle the Bearded's wing of the Canterlot archives. She just had to pull it off in 15 minutes, otherwise she would have less time to escape.
She walked up the steps towards the enormous castle, then turned left. She walked over to a statue and started observing it. According to her notes, the statue should block sight from ponies walking towards the castle, ponies walking towards the archives, and ponies guarding the archives. Trixie poked and prodded the statue, feigning interest as she slowly made her way around to the the hidden side. And then, she was there.
She pulled an hour glass from her cloak that had markings for each minute. The sand was up to the 30th minute on the bottom, even after she flipped it over, which caused her artifacts to release and her cloak to begin. 15 minutes left for entry.
She walked out from behind the statue and noticed a crunching sound. She still made an indentation on the grass. She would have to take care not too make too much noise with that. But more importantly, she would have to make sure she never lost her balance and fell over, unless she wanted to fall into the earth and struggle to get out before her time ended. She was glad she could still see though, she wasn't sure if having half the cloak over her eyes and ears would work.
She stepped off the grass and onto the pathway. Noticing the clopping noise, she softened her steps and slid along the curving path towards the archives.
Slide.
Step.
Slide.
She started to speed up after understanding the motion.
slide. Step. Slide...
Finally, she made it to the entrance. The guard pony was still there, attentive as ever, and the door was closed... but that didn't matter...
Reluctantly, Trixie walked forwards into the door. As she closed her eyes and made sure the bottoms her hooves were facing away from the door, she slowly passed inside.
Shaking her head and letting her eyes get used to the brighter inside, she looked down the hall.
"Star-Sparkle the Bearded" She saw a sign down the hall.
This is too easy. She smirked, and slowly made her way to, and through, the door.
Slide...
Step...
Slide...
After walking far enough into the Bearded wing, she took out her hour-glass and turned it over, turning off the spell.
"Ahh..." She quietly sighed to herself. That cloak spell was... suffocating.
Celestia suddenly stood up from her sitting position.
Unwittingly, Lightning Dust mimicked the motion and stood up on the bed.
"Yes, things were very simple back then," Celestia began.
"Flora, a flower sails-pony and the inventor of several farming techniques still used today. Aero, the original stunt-flyer. Luna, my sister. And me. We all decided that it would be a good idea to try and find out where all these strange creatures were coming from. Originally there were only windigoes, but those suddenly vanished decades ago, and Flora was right in thinking that didn't make sense at all. More interestingly, almost all the new species came from east of Old Canterlot. So the four of us started our journey..."
After wandering around the Bearded wing for a while, the title of one scroll caught Trixie's eye.
"Star-Sparkle's Guide to Powerful Magic" read the title.
Without hesitation, Trixie gracefully plucked the scroll from the shelf and unrolled it, not making a sound...
"After consulting my old friend Air Blade on what he thought made better flyers, I've started thinking that the attributes he lists could be applied to magic, and whatever earth-ponies do as well. These attributes are as follows:
" Intense driving emotions, including, but not limited to: happiness, hatred, hope, love, humor, pride, contempt, sadness...
"In fact, the only emotion found to decrease magic was hopelessness.
"But in the long list of emotions that boosted magic power, there were two that stood out. The first being love.
"In the background studies of strong athletes and powerful magic users, the most common attribute was being surrounded by friendly ponies that supported their efforts. This allowed love to slowly grow over time, bringing emotions like hope, pride, humor, and surprisingly hatred and contempt along with it. Apparently, being around ponies with similar values serves as an emotion booster. Of course, it also increased time for practice.
"The second emotion was limerance, a feeling of infatuation with one or more subject(s) (really, any animate or inanimate objects or ideas at all) due to perceived favorable qualities and ignored or mitigated unfavorable qualities. Several ponies surprised everypony else when they surpassed others with much more training and experience by reinforcing the belief that what they had to protect was important.
"There have only been accounts of ponies using extremes of either emotion to power themselves. Alone, the power granted is significant, but combined, those emotions could result in seemingly impossible occurrences, such as, at least for pegasi, surpassing the theoretical sound speed limit."
...
Trixie slid the scroll back into place. So... Twilight was powerful because she had "love", or friendship, and she had that because she was lucky... figures. It sure would make things more fair if that scroll were publicly available...
Trixie thought back to why she originally started her shows. At first, it was to annoy ponies she didn't like...
Actually... no, it wasn't. It was to entertain her siblings. She enjoyed hearing them laugh and cheer for her, and later, when hecklers wouldn't believe her, it would feel good to show them how wrong they were and prove her family right at the same time. But her family was far away now, all of them doing their own things. They had different purposes, and sometimes that tore ponies apart. So she traveled, that way, no matter where they were, her family and friends would hear about her and cheer for her. That was the whole reason for her traveling magic show.
She had a loving family and loving friends, and somewhere far away, they would hear about what she did. And there was something else. She would have more friends if her next performance went well enough. The first performance in a while would have to be a good one. She could feel it.
"And after sealing Discord in stone, we returned to our new home..." Celestia sat, having finished her story.
She brought her hoof to her chin, pondering the past,
"Funny, without him, me and my sister may never have found our special talents of raising the sun and moon, and we may have never found the elements of harmony. And after all that we did together, the citizens finally gave up the foolish discussion of whether me or Luna should rule, and decided that we both had important virtues for ruling Equestria."
Lightning Dust started slowly clopping her hooves together. That was an amazing and impressively delivered story. And now she had a whole new set of questions to ask. This Aero pony sounded interesting. She wondered why she hadn't heard about him before in any history books.
Flim and Flam Flimflammed?
Lightning Dust just finished filing all change of address forms and had just finished a 5-minute interview that ended in her acceptance back into the weather team. The hiring ponies seemed particularly peeved that most of the team had flown home after Lightning scolded them, but after some talk, they agreed that letting Motion take over the team lead position would be punishment enough. Lightning was surprised to hear some of the things that stallion did in leadership positions. Hopefully not too many weather ponies would quit... then again, if they did, somepony else would get a high-paying job. Basically, everypony just managed to get themselves in a pickle instead Lightning Dust.
Adding to the good news, lightning managed to find a cheaper place in a nicer part of town. Granted, it was a much smaller place, but she really didn't need the space.
She'd have to remember to thank Discord some time, because without him, she probably would have looked pretty unprofessional at that interview. But for now, it was packing time.
Discord was enjoying a morning stroll down Canterlot. It was nice that he didn't need to sleep (regularly at least), he could observe the ponies around him for as long as he wanted and act accordingly. Morning ponies were his favorite type of ponies; their jimmies were so easy to rustle.
He reminisced a bit about what happened after he hammered lightning dust back home. First, mass panic, as expected. Then eventually, Luna had to come and see what was happening...
Luna adopted a wide stance when entering the center of the panic storm. Looking up, she saw Discord holding his arms out, basking in the chaos. Once she noticed it was just him , she stood up, annoyed.
"IT HAS BEEN THREE DAYS! THREE DAYS, DISCORD!" Luna yelled in the traditional Canterlot voice, almost without noticing.
"HOW HARD IS IT FOR THOU TO KEEP THY GRUBBY PAWS OFF OUR CITIZENS FOR ONE MEASLY WEEK, SO THAT WE MAY REST!?" Luna yelled. Taking a closer look, Discord noticed she had bags under her eyes from lack of sleep.
"I- uh-" Discord started.
"PERHAPS WE SHOULD TURN THY BODY BACK TO STONE IF THOU PLANS TO ACT AS HE DID A THOUSAND YEARS AGO!" Luna threatened, though she probably wouldn't be able to pull that off without the elements, and Fluttershy would never agree to it... But she was angry.
"Oh, now don't be like that-" Discord pleaded, this outburst was starting to worry him... Could she do that? Could she just turn him back into stone during a rage fit?
"WE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THOU WOULD HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING SO SIMPLE OVER SUCH A LONG TIME! APPARENTLY THOU HAS A LEARNING DISORDER!" Yup, Luna was definitely angry.
"Hey now..-" Discord started, but somepony from the surrounding curious crowd interrupted him.
"HEY, That's an insult to ponies with learning disabilities! Take that back!" A mare shouted.
"Oh!" Luna stopped herself, "We are sorry, we didn't mean to insult anything other than this thing." She pointed at Discord.
"Oh, haha-" Discord folded his arms.
"Apology accepted." The mare shouted back.
"Anyway, nothing to see, carry on." Luna returned to her -if a bit sheepish- quiet voice.
"Wait-a-minute," Discord interrupted, "I didn't know you required sleep, especially since you are the princess of the night." He was genuinely curious about this. One of the many reasons for sleep was improving learning, and it would be a waste to throw that out.
Luna stopped, she hadn't readied herself for questions, just dispelling rage, "We... sometimes sleep during the day... Other times... it is necessary to be sleeping to enter other ponies dreams..."
"So you just sleep whenever it's convenient," Discord surmised, then nodded in approval. "I like that."
Luna smiled for a split second before catching herself. Discord saw the quick shock Luna had about being happy that he liked something about her, and he saw as she quickly covered it up with anger. Oh, she was flustered! Up next would be the scolding, and he would have to try and react at least somewhat normally, he still wasn't sure if she could make good on that petrifying threat from a while ago.
"WE DO NOT CARE FOR THY PETTY COMPLIMENTS, AND WE SHALL NOT LET THEE OFF EASILY NO MATTER WHAT AMOUNT OF SUCKING UP THOU PARTAKES IN!" Said the butthurt Luna.
"Oh come on now, it was just a compliment!" Discord pleaded, "I was actually trying to make somepony happy for once, you shouldn't take things so negatively."
"THOU..." Luna stopped and calmed down a bit, "hast succeeded." She smiled.
"STILL, 10 MINUTES DUNGEON!" She yelled with glee and pumped a hoof.
"Oh, come on! That's just an abuse of power" Discord pouted.
"We are glad thou has learnt some new terms." Luna teleported back to the castle for some sleep. She would punish Discord later, once she was able to keep an eye on him.
Discord chuckled a bit. Now that he thought about it, his clone would probably get punished instead of him. Oh, avoiding justice was such a wonderful thing!
After walking a little further, his thoughts wandered back to his project of gathering unstable ponies together. He searched for any more ponies he could add to the mix. He quickly felt two silver-tongues. That sweet-sour taste always indicated a pony that lived on the edge, and silver-tongues, be them con-artists or just sales-ponies, were almost constantly on the edge.
He listened in, teleporting closer so that he could hear their conversation and better convince them to meet their new friends.
A sad, mustachioed pony galloped in front of and held his non-mustachioed brother with his front hooves and started to speak.
"Oh Flim, dear Flim, what ever shall we do?
Flim smirked knowingly.
"Oh Flam you must concede, we have some history,
At this, Flam let go of his brother and started to sulk.
"It's not our fault they can't run a business,quite fair,
Flim held out a hoof, ending his brother's rant.
"Oh dear brother if I may interrupt,
He then brought said hoof to his chin and tilted his head.
"When you expect them to follow your newly developed algorithm and flow,
Flam stood attentive.
"Why? Dear brother, please tell me, why?
Flim gave that knowing smirk and turned back his head just a little before answering.
"You see, while your steps may seem clear and concise,
Flim stamped his hooves, accentuating his point.
Flam started to speak up, but Flim started back up before he could say anything, albeit with a bit calmer voice.
"Perhaps we should find some slower transitions,
Finally, Flam was able to get a word in.
"But that would take ages to help just one company out,
He pulled at his mane a bit.
Flim flung his front hoof around his brother, comforting him a bit.
"And that's where you're wrong, you've made an assumption.
Flim moved in front of his brother and told him his plan, waving a hoof.
"We start our own work selling face creams to sweet dreams,
Flim grinned, "and watch our competitors drool."
Flam now moved and flung his front hoof on Flim's shoulder, but with noticeably less excitement.
"While that's all very nice, please think of the price,
Flam gestured to the city around him, the surrounding ponies were indeed giving them strange looks.
Suddenly, Discord.
"Whoa!" Flim jumped back.
Discord spoke up, pacing as he did so.
"The answer is simple; you go somewhere new.
"We've figured as much" Flam answered, "But what place can we trust?"
"Have you tried Fillydelphia?" Discord asked.
"Not in millennia." Flim excitedly exaggerated. Flam was still doubtful.
Discord smirked. Yes!
"Then go in six days and have your way,
"Flim" said Flam.
Having heard this, Discord gave a slightly annoyed reply.
"I may have my reasons, I'm not kind or insane,
Discord poofed off to the side and leaned down.
"Be there six days from now, bring with you some props,
And with that, he was gone.
After that strange interruption, Flim and flam gave consideration to the thought. It quickly turned to long deliberation. In the end, whether or not they trusted the god of chaos, his offer seemed to be the only viable option.
Trixie trotted through Canterlot's main street at a brisk pace, stopping for a second to stare at the draconequus talking to two white stallions, then shrugging and trotting some more. It wasn't long until she made it to the outskirts of town and found her traveling home...
It wasn't nearly as nice as the last one. All of the accessories she acquired throughout the years were gone, smashed by a giant rampaging baby bear...
Okay, how in the HECK did Twilight manage to find a book on Ursas? Did some pony decide it would be a good idea to stalk house sized bears? Did they have some sort of stomping fetish or something? Trixie just assumed there wouldn't be any detailed information on Ursas, because, one: they're territorial and attack if provoked,
Trixie stepped inside her travelling home.
The home was cut from a single large tree. It had all the hinges necessary to fold out and turn into a stage, and it had all the nice woodwork of the old home, plus a few additions. It really didn't cost anything, she just found a tree, sliced it in half, and started carving it apart with her magic.
Trixie sat down in the center of her large wooden box and closed her eyes. She let her thoughts run free and tried not to pay any attention to any of them, but that's kind of hard to do after using a memory spell. Instead, her mind threw up after-images of the words she read and pictures representing what they meant. Then those pictures got stronger, eventually throwing up an entire world around her.
Trixie knew it wouldn't be long before the effects of the spell would take hold of her, so she locked her door and turned on her protection spells, in case she might "sleep walk"...
The words fully enveloped her...
"Modified defense spells, volume 1, By: Star Swirl the bearded" "Chapter i: introduction"
Trixie found herself in an old memory. She was a filly back in magic-school, facing old bullies around her. She had told her teacher about the bullies, but she had ignored Trixie, and her parents weren't allowed in the school after the last time they tried to protect her. The bullies had found a place and time where no one could come to help her.
Trixie's adrenaline filled mind took in every detail around her...
"I will start by saying that, if any of my spells could be learned by every single unicorn, I would wish for it to be the spells in this book. And if I had to choose only one, then it would be the shield spell. Alas, the amount of information that goes into any advanced spell is built off of many previous spells combined. So whether it is a defensive or offensive spell, it will still be hard to learn. But as with any of my other works, you will find as little obfuscation here as possible.
"Throughout this book, we will begin with the basic shield spell and add on to it to create shields that can do variousthings including: protecting entire cities, being virtually indestructable, and transferring as little heat as possible. I will refer to various other texts that describe the transfer of heat and motion in case the reader is not familiar with the concepts."
The endless stone white columns and walls surrounding Trixie did nothing to calm her. They only created endless shadows in the shapes of looming ponies, slowly moving and almost making her jump.
There were three bullies surrounding her. The one in front of her was pink with a red mane, and the two behind her were red with a blue mane, and completely purple. Female, male, and male respectively. She remembered them, but she didn't remember their names. It didn't matter though, they didn't deserve to be remembered.
"Further on, we will discuss more complex concepts such as: speed spells, gravity spells, repulsion spells, hardening spells, and light spells."
"Chapter 1: the Shield"
The bullies all stepped forwards at once.
"The direct connection that the horn has to the equine brain makes many spells intuitive, but for harder spells you have to know how the world around you works. The best theory so far is membrane theory; everything around us consists of finite membranes contiguous through specific equations, and the horn consists of membranes that are contiguous through equations that are valid in dispersed regions of space and time. This allows for the modification of membranes far removed from the pony.
"To create a basic shield, feel for the matter surrounding you, and compress it into a sphere.
Trixie knew what was going to happen next. They would all try to attack her, and she would cower, unwittingly creating a powerful shield. But Trixie was older and harder to scare now.
The bullies crouched, smirked, and then leapt at her. Bored, Trixie created a simple, but powerful, shield spell, causing the bullies to bounce away from her like peasants.
"Section 1.1: Silly Limericks for Silencing Loudness"
Trixie still knew what would happen next. Her teacher would come by at the perfectly wrong moment and blame her for getting into a fight against the three other unicorns. If their leader wasn't the teacher's daughter, maybe she wouldn't have been so blind. But now the lecture would be coming along... Thankfully she knew a silencing spell now...
Outside of Trixie's mobile log house, strange lights and the sound of creaking could be noticed as Trixie's containment spells barely managed to hold her. Occasionally, some magic would leak out and slow down everything around the house, or crush some unsuspecting grass. But it wasn't too noticeable unless you were close to the house.
Lightning Dust rested her head on her pillow, satisfied with her... strange... day. Her mind was still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that Discord had saved her from her unending temper-tantrum that would probably have cost her a job, and whatever reputation she still had. She wasn't complaining though...
Anyhow, tomorrow would be interesting. Apparently Motion would be temporary weather captain. What would he do? She wondered... Would he destroy the deviants' dignities by forcing them to dance? Would he...
Lightning Dust tried hard to think of ways to humiliate the weather team using things related to motion...
Maybe he would throw them for a loop?
Lightning snickered and turned under her covers, eager to watch the rookie tease the other rookies.
Lightning Dust touched down on the soaked roof top where weather team meetings were usually held. She looked up, the usual gaggle of ponies was there gaggling about random and inane things. One of them looked over at her. She cockily trotted towards the group.
"Hey, it's Lightning Dust!" The pony looking at her turned his head back to the group and shouted.
"Really?" Another one asked, craning her neck, "I thought she was fired. Was she allowed back in as a regular member?"
"Yup," Lightning Dust replied, with a strange, slightly cocky look, throwing the other pegasi off.
There was a confused silence.
"...Wha- Who's leading then?" One of the more unassuming pegasi asked.
"Motion," Lightning Dust replied nonchalantly.
Another confused silence followed.
Lightning Dust smirked, "It'll be interesting to see how he does for a while before I'm reassigned as leader."
The crowd rolled there eyes. An "oh," could be heard from more than one pony.
"Why do you think they'd let you be weather leader again? You've proved you aren't competent." A female pegasus incited.
"Oh?" Lightning Dust looked at the pegasus, unimpressed. "And how did I do that?"
The mare pointer her hoof lazily at Lightning Dust, "You're obviously not a good leader if your entire team hates you."
Lightning Dust sighed, "Eh, maybe," She admitted, "Or it could mean that my "entire team", is just full of hateful ponies."
"I-" The mare was flabbergasted, "I work at a-" She paused, "Do- Do you even know our names?"
Lightning Dust was starting to get annoyed, "Of course I do, Magenta Sunset ," She shoved her hoof at the mare, "I also know you work at the local kindergarten." Then she tilted her head, "I don't know why though, it doesn't really seem to fit you... maybe it's a stress reliever for your personality." Lightning righted her head and looked directly at Magenta Sunset, "Anyway, working at a kindergarten doesn't make you a good person. In fact, you remind me of one of those teachers who would always scold the kids."
Magenta's lip started rising into a snarl. Lightning smirked, enjoying the anger, "I mean-"
BAM!
Everypony looked over to see a familiar grey-blue pony touch down with a smaller sleek black mare following close behind him like an assistant for some high class gentlecolt.
He walked towards the group with an air of power about him. He stared towards the group with intensity and smugness and looked around at everyone. Lightning Dust raised her eyebrows.
"I see we're all here," He nodded to himself, "Now, lets get started."
Motion pulled a scroll from his mane and unrolled it. On it were several charts and graphs with the names of ponies written above them. He gestured his hoof at the paper as he spoke.
"I've calculated the times required for each task from last years speed trials. I've also calculated how you should have done in the speed trials given your skill at certain weather tasks. I was going to use this so you could gradually improve over time, but I found I couldn't." Motion moved his hoof over the graphs. On each one there were two lines, one above labeled "TTS" and one below labeled "ETTS".
"Each of your Estimated Time Trial Speeds were several standard deviations lower than your actual Time Trial Speeds, even after I adjusted generously for fatigue." Motion looked up at the group.
"...What?" One of the members asked.
"You're slacking. Almost none of you are putting any effort in a job that effects the lives of many ponies," Motion deadpanned, sweeping his gaze over the whole group.
One of the stallions stepped forwards, not enjoying being called a slacker. He lowered his head and squinted, "Horse-"
He wasn't able to finish his statement before a blue hoof collided with his face. He looked up, surprised, but saw the same old intense Motion. The group of ponies gasped, even Lightning Dust felt there might have been something wrong about Motion's actions.
The stallion got up, more surprised than hurt. Motion waited, then spoke again.
"I just laid out a chart right in front of you comparing your work on the job and the work you should be capable of doing. Your work on the job was much lower than what you're capable of, along with everypony else. If you find a problem in my math or my research, feel free to point it out." Motion lowered his head, snarling a little, "Otherwise, I will not allow baseless challenge to my authority."
The stallion stepped backwards and opened his mouth as if to retort in some way, but nothing came out.
Seeing this, Motion trotted back to the center of the group.
"If any of you perform outside the ability suggested by your time trials, I will remove you from the weather team. If more than half of you disagree with me, leadership returns to Lightning Dust, and I will recommend your removal to both her and the weather captains at Cloudsdale." He stared at the group, waiting for any reactions. A few ponies had looks of disapproval or anger on their face, but otherwise there was nothing notable...
"Constellation," Motion began, "You will go with Magenta to gather some of the the north-eastern nimbus clouds, clear out the rest as you see fit."
Constellation trotted over to Magenta and draped a wing over her in a quick hug. Then they took off.
"I'll assign the south-western nimbus clouds to..."
...
"Lightning Dust," Motion addressed the last remaining pony. Said pony stood attentive, waiting for a chance to one up the new weather leader.
"YES SIR!" Lightning Dust half yelled as she raised a hoof to her forehead.
Motion stifled a small chuckle and went back to his serious face. "We'll be working together to form a cumulonimbus for the traditional wind speeds and stress-testing of new buildings."
Lightning dust stood up and raised her eyebrows at him, "You think the two of us can form a cumulonimbus?" She deadpanned and waited for a response. Motion cringed a bit. Lightning continued, "I mean, I'm fast, but that doesn't mean I can be in two places at once. It might work if you were as fast as me, but you're not."
Motion rubbed the back of his neck with his hoof. "Yeah... sorry. This was the best assignment I could come up with. If we had more members I would have assigned someone else to help."
"I guess that's fair..." Lightning Dust sighed. Then she crouched, ready to take off, "Now, where are we making the cumulonimbus?"
"Oh," Motion pointed a hoof out that Lightning followed, "Right over that park."
The park in question was about one and a half miles eastwards.
Lightning Dust gracefully touched down on the roof and looked up at her creation. Several miles ahead of her was a beautiful and awe inspiring mushroom of a cloud, taller than many mountains. It turned slowly, generating winds that would test the city and its residents. The rest of the sky was almost completely free of clouds.
The rest of the crew, excluding Motion, were already back on the roof top. Half of them were panting heavily. The other half were resting, smugly assured of their own success. It was strange to see Constellation panting.
Motion, unable to slow himself, crashed into the building belly-first and groaned. "You..." He looked up at Lightning, "stupid..." Lightning turned around, annoyed that someone was distracting her from the view, "...Meanie!"
"We got the job done, didn't we?" Lightning smirked.
"My body is not meant to be used to beat gales with!" Motion struggled to pick himself up.
"You weren't fast enough, so we had to improvise," Lightning Dust pointed out, trying hard to hold back a small giggle.
"Well- But-... " Motion stuttered, "That was humiliating!"
"We wouldn't have gotten the job done otherwise," Lightning answered.
Motion sighed, defeated, "...Fair enough." He stood up and and walked over to a nearby air-duct where he pulled out his scroll filled with charts, an ink and quill fell out with it and bounced on the ground. He picked them up and walked over to Constellation before setting them on the ground in front of her, unrolling the scroll, and opening the ink.
"Constellation," he panted, "What were the arrival times?"
"Magenta," She panted, "7:26"
Motion closed the ink bottle and looked up at the weather team, then back at Constellation.
"Were there any pegasi who did not do quality work?" Motion asked.
"One," Constellation said unemotionally as she raised a hoof at a stallion that quickly tried to hide.
Motion called over all of the ponies who were looking smug instead of panting.
"Go find another job."
Lightning Dust turned around and smirked, seeing all the bullies who had lost their jobs. They all stood stunned as Motion and Constellation took off and flew between skyscrapers and out of their view.
Shaking himself, one stallion grimaced and walked over to Lightning Dust. She narrowed her eyes as he approached.
"Thanks a lot," he started, "Thanks to you two sociopaths, I don't know how I'm supposed to feed my kids any more!" He grimaced and looked down in rage and disgust.
"You brought this on yourself." Lightning Dust pointed out coldly and tried to calm herself herself. Why was he so angry? Couldn't he just get another job?
The stallion looked back up at her in rage and disbelief. He tried to spit at Lightning, but she side-stepped before any of it could hit her. This only infuriated the stallion further. He raised his hoof...
And lowered it back down once he realized what he was doing. He looked at Lightning Dust in disgust one more time before flying off after the rest of the group.
Lightning Dust looked over as he released his anger by savagely beating the air with his wings. What was she supposed to feel?
Author's Note
I wanted to make up as few background OCs as possible...
Also, it's really hard to write about sociopaths sometimes.
Trixie woke up with a splitting headache. She looked around at her house and saw that last night didn't treat it very well either. the enchantments kept the home together and kept her magic hidden, but things still got damaged.
Trixie shifted in bed and noticed it was a little too warm, so she got up. She walked over to a cupboard and pulled it open, revealing a large block of saltwater ice in a wooden box. She used her magic to slice off a corner and trotted back to bed. She would finally have sleep.
"Offensive spells", by Star Swirl the Bearded.
Trixie bolted up, "No!" she yelped. She forgot that her mind would try to unravel the memory spell any time she tried to rest. She needed a break from the stress. Her mind didn't feel fine being awake, and she knew sleep would slowly make her feel better, but it was a painful experience and she didn't want to do it.
Trixie looked down at the sliver of ice in her hooves, held it up, and stabbed her horn into it. She smiled, knowing that drops of cold but bearable water would slide over her head, cooling her down comfortably. It was an impressively efficient way of treating fevers that her mother had taught her when she was a foal.
In fact, why not just treat this like a fever?
Trixie smiled at the thought, got up, and groggily trotted back to her cupboards. Opening one after another, she finally found it: Hay Noodle Soup, the perfect remedy for any sickness. She remembered what her father would say to that and giggled; "Broken leg? Looks like we need some Hay Noodle Soup," He would joke at the most inappropriate times.
Trixie picked up the can opener next to the stack of cans with her magic and slowly opened a can with it. She opened another cupboard and found a decent sized pot. She dragged the soup over to the pot, poured it in, and placed the pot onto the coal stove before lighting it and setting the shutter to 70% open.
Trixie clumsily bounced on her hooves back to her bed before snuggling under the covered with only her front hooves and head exposed. She remembered how she would do this and look up at her parents with tear filled eyes whenever she really wanted something. Now that she thought about it, it was kind of mean, using her cuteness as a weapon, but then again, it was cute.
Her smile faded a bit and now she felt silly. She pulled the covers off her and picked herself up, trotting back up to the pot to stir it.
Now she felt like she was in the place of her mother. She wondered what it would be like to have foals, the cute little things would practically be in awe at most of her tricks. She could stand the baby phase and rebellious teenage phase so she could be overwhelmed with the cuteness of the kid phase and the pride that would probably come from seeing her sons and daughters succeed as adults...
Then she frowned, realizing that she might not have caused that pride for her parents. Sure, they had pride when she got her cutie mark in magic, but after that, they kind of had high expectations. And due to either bad luck or a lack of experience that she couldn't be blamed for at the time, she almost constantly failed things that ~~should have been~~ were easy for her. Still, she made it through almost everything... until Twilight Sparkle came along and stole her last chance at an interesting life due to a freak accident...
Trixie looked down and noticed she was holding the pot a bit too tightly, and that the pot was boiling. She brought a bowl out from the cupboard with her magic and poured the soup into it, then waited for it to cool.
Maybe she wasn't mad at Twilight... she didn't really do anything wrong. She was just stupidly lucky and didn't realize it, she unwittingly made a mockery of everything Trixie did just by existing. Realy, the blame shouldn't rest on Twilight at all, it would have to go to the pony who allowed all of these unfair things to happen.
Princess Celestia.
Trixie noticed that she was gripping the counter incredibly hard and calmed herself. Looking over at the soup, she decided it was cold enough to start sipping. Then she started thinking again.
There wasn't any point to proving herself to Celestia anymore now that Twilight wielded the Element of Magic, now it would have to be about disproving Celestia to everyone else. A feet that was easier said than done, since practically everypony worshiped Celestia.
Trixie levitated a spoon from a drawer and started eating the soup properly. She looked out her window and saw the beautiful green plants around her. She sat back and enjoyed her soup. Yeah, there was stuff to worry about, but it didn't need her attention right now. Right now, she could sit back and enjoy her soup as her headache slowly went away... And after it did, she might go back to bed, ready for the next crash course in advanced magic.
Author's Note
I hope you found this cute.
After a long day of reading, it was time for Trixie to go home.
She sighed. Plenty of ponies had come in and out of the Bearded wing, but nopony gave her more than a glance.
Using a memory spell, she was able to record nearly the entire wing, and would be able to recall it later in perfect detail. And because of a suggestion from Star-Sparkles guide to powerful magic, she made sure to keep her magic on full blast for as long as possible, maximizing the memory spell and keeping the documents in the exact location she desired while reading.
Trixie debated just walking through the door and away from the castle grounds, since nopony seemed to care, but why waste a good spell? Well, she could save the gravity cloak for later... but she wasn't going to take any chances with the guard ponies.
Trixie pulled out her hour-glass from her cloak and turned it over, starting the spell. She turned towards a bookshelf and slowly walked through it. She wasn't sure what she expected, but the inside of the wood and paper was just blackness, which made sense, since no light would be able to reach where she was looking.
She walked through the next book shelf, then the next, then the wall. Now she was back in the hall. Looking to the right, she could see the unsuspecting guard. She looked back at the wall in front of her and continued through it, entering the Canterlot gardens. She looked around for a different out of sight location and spotted a large bush.
Bored, she walked behind the bush and removed the cloak. She still had 19 minutes left!
But for now, it was time to go home and practice some magic! And maybe recharge her cloak too. Twilight may have had some driving emotions to power her magic, but now Trixie had that too, and now she also had her memory spells along with her artifacts. Either way, she was still the most powerful unicorn, but she didn't want to fall behind Twilight just because she gained some wings. And maybe now that she was competing with alicorns, she would have to see how powerful Celestia or Luna were too...
Anyway, In two days, she would have the greatest show ever!
Lightning Dust listened to Celestia, and now Luna, talk about the ancient pony and old friend Aero. He reminded Lightning of some of her old role-models.
The stories and conversation did a wonderful job of getting her out of her continuous cycle of regret about not making it into the wonderbolts. Once she got home, she would accept a lower tier job in the weather-team and move all of her belongings to a less expensive apartment. She'd also make sure to see some old friends sometime, maybe visit Celestia or Luna when possible. Heck, maybe she'd even visit Rainbow Dash and apologize for her friends sudden arrival to a sealed off training area in an air-balloon... Nah.
And after all that, when the wonderbolts applications came around in the next few months, she would apply. She would make sure she had a story to tell them by then, a story that would blow their fancy goggles off.
She looked up at Luna and spoke up, smirking, "Sorry, but I've got to practice now." She crouched, ready to fly off through the window behind her.
"So soon?" Luna had a sad expression.
"I've been here the whole day. I know I remind you of an old friend, but that doesn't mean I can stay forever." Lightning explained, still crouching for take off.
"Very well-" Luna started.
"But first, I hope you don't mind if I borrow your maze gardens." Lightning Dust took off.
Luna walked over to the window, "What wouldst thou require of our gardens?" She pondered.
Looking through the window, she got her answer.
Above the bushes, one could see a light-teal blur quickly worming its way through the maze using the right hand rule. Every 90-degree turn resulted in a flash of sparks that looked like fireworks. After about a minute of the mesmerizing display, the maze must have been memorized, because Lightning Dust started shooting between random points in the maze as fast as possible.
Discord sat on top of Canterlot castle watching the sunset come. He felt an approaching apex would be missed if he didn't do something, and if that happened, well, that would be both boring and disappointing.
Discord checked his watch. Surprisingly, it told him the time. What were the chances of that?
Anyway, Lightning Dust had been flying through the maze at break-neck speeds for several hours, and he could tell she was about done.
Exhausted but satisfied, Lightning Dust walked out of the maze, ready to fly home... just as soon as she found a map. Suddenly, Discord popped up next to her holding a platter of the best food that the reader can imagine. Lightning Dust wasn't hungry when she was exercising, but while walking out of the maze, her appetite slowly surfaced.
"Worked up an appetite yet?" He asked.
In response, Lightning Dust dove at the meal, landing instead on a chair at a table that held the meal. She quickly devoured it, she was too hungry to care about manners.
"So, you probably want to fly home sometime soon, right?" Discord asked.
Lightning Dust simply nodded, not taking her attention away from her meal.
"You hardly did anything at all though." Discord lamented.
Lightning Dust looked up with her head tilted.
"I mean, you may have talked with a few nice ponies," Discord threw his mismatched arms out and spun, "but you haven't even began to experience this place."
Lightning Dust searched the table for her silverware with her hoof while looking at Discord. Once she found it, she continued eating while staring at Discord.
Discord's head and legs stopped spinning, but his main body did not, "I mean, have you ever enjoyed Canterlot theater before?"
Lightning Dust shook her head, continued eating her food and gave Discord a blank expression.
"Well, we'll simply have to do something about that!" Discord stopped spinning and clenched his paw into a fist.
Lightning Dust noticed that there was no longer delicious food below her. Oh well, she had almost eaten too much already anyway. Instead, she was surrounded by several high-class ponies walking in front of an important looking marble building titled "Canterlot Cinema". On the wall, there were billboards for several plays. She walked over to the first one, a typical gushy romance play...
"Why do you think I would like this kind of... stuff?" Lightning asked, slightly insulted.
"Oh my , not that one. That one's terrible," Discord gagged. "You know there are other movies right?"
Lightning walked over to the next poster, "Ooh, an action-adventure! Daring Do, Treasure in the West... It's got good reviews too... showing... exactly two days from now at 4 pm."
"Not bad," Discord adjusted his shades and ate some of his pop-corn. "Let's see what's next."
Lightning walked over to a very extravagant poster titled "the Great and Powerful Trixie!" It showed a blue unicorn on stage wearing a starry cape and wizard hat throwing her hooves out while streamers and fireworks shot away from her. Lightning Dust smirked at this. So this mare thinks she's special huh?
"Interactive magic show," Lightning read, "You decide the rules to the competition, Trixie blows away the competition."
Lightning chuckled. It also started two hours after the Daring Do movie.
"hmm," Lightning Dust shrugged, "after I watch Daring Do, I can show that mare a true winner."
"Deal." Discord caught his paw in his claws and grinned.
"Why are you doing this?" Lightning squinted, "I already told you that hug thing was a gross misunderstanding."
"hmph," Discord shrugged and raised his arms up, "What else is there to do?"
Well, Lightning Dust thought as she looked back at the poster, what did you expect? He is the god of chao-
"Aaand goodbye!" Lightning Dust heard Discord start.
"Huh?" Lightning Dust looked back just in time to see Discord swing a giant hammer on top of her. She didn't have the time to dodge before she was hit.
Opening her eyes, she discovered herself back in her old apartment.
"Well, might as well take care of a few things." She said to herself, ready to change apartments, rejoin the weather team, and start her next application to the wonderbolts.
The crowd of ponies at the theater were already wary of Discord, but when they saw him crush a pony with a hammer, that wariness transformed into panic.
Discord threw his arms out and basked in the ensuing chaos.
