twow443's Labtastic Riffs

by twow443

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 305276

Come witness one man and his friends tear apart bad and good fics alike.

In a not-so-secret hideout, deep within the confines of a basement belonging to a certain gray pegasus, a human known only as twow busies himself with many strange experiments…Or at least, he did until Pinkie showed up and decided to make him read lousy fanfics. With only the company of various ponies on his riffing journey, will he ever manage to stay sane?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-12 23:08:42 UTC

Flutters in the Moonlight

Hello again. Twow443 here with another riff for you! This time it’s an interesting piece with the name Flutters in the Moonlight. This little gem is supposed to be a Fluttershy X Luna shipping, but it’s rushed as all hell and rather confusing.

Seeing as how I suck at intros, let’s just jump right in! I present to you, Flutters in the Moonlight.

twow443: So, I need to tighten this last bolt...

Fluttershy: Hello...

twow: (jumps) YIKES! Oh, sorry Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: It’s okay, it was my fault.

twow: No, it wasn’t. I end up getting rather caught up in my work.

Fluttershy: I like what you’ve done with Derpy’s basement. Um, what did you do?

twow: I turned it into a lab. I’ve always liked experimenting with things.

Fluttershy: It’s really nice...

twow: Yeah...wait, how did you know I was in Equestria? Derpy hasn’t been here and Dinky’s with her friends. Don’t even ASK where the Doctor is.

Fluttershy: Oh, well, Pinkie said you would be here.

twow: Hmm. Usually, I’d say that she tricked you into riffing. But there’s only two of us...

Luna: (materializes into lab) GREETINGS!

twow: (jumps) For the love of...Oh. Hello, Princess.

Luna: Greetings, young human. And to thee as well, Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: (behind chair) Hello.

twow: Not that isn’t good to see you Princess, but why are you here?

Luna: Thy friend Pinkie Pie directed me here to speak with her.

twow: Welp, we’re fucked.

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

Pinkie: (from TV) Hello Princess Luna! You too, Fluttershy and T!

twow: Pinkie, the last time I riffed with Fluttershy, she attempted to hurt herself. Can’t you cut her a break?

Dash: (from TV) Don’t worry. We aren’t giving you anything like THAT.

Fluttershy: If you don’t mind me asking, what are we reading today?

Pinkie: (from TV) It’s a rushed little romantic one-shot starring you and Luna!

Luna: This interests me.

Fluttershy: This frightens me.

twow: I have a bad feeling about this...

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Flutters in the Moon Light Chapter 1

twow: This sentence looks wrong.

Fluttershy: Isn’t moonlight one word?

As Fluttershy walked towards the Royal Palace Library, she began to ponder as to why her little bunny friend, Angel, (hell of a name for a bunny that causes so much trouble) could be so mean and demanding of her.

twow: Because you’ve never given him a spanking.Fluttershy: What?! I could never!twow: I’m telling you, if you paddle him, he’ll behave. The mischevious little bunny had now demanded that she prepared a very special meal for him that had a very VERY specific recipe that could only be found in the shelves of the Canterlot Royal Library.twow: Luna, do you really have recipes that are ONLY in your library?Luna: We might have saved a few recipes over the years... It wouldn't have been so hard, except for all of the paperwork it took to even be able to SEE the library, it was hard enough to get into it.twow: Please. Twilight, Spike and Pinkie just WALKED in to find a spell so she could go back in time.Luna: My sister also did not care. The library is open to everypony. Fluttershy tried to conceal her anger towards her tiny friend, as she continued towards Canterlot gardens and into the castle.twow: I KNOW that you’ve been upset with him Fluttershy. At least once.Fluttershy: Well, maybe a few times.Luna: Anger is a natural emotion, young Fluttershy. Don’t be afraid to embrace it.Fluttershy went to the Cooking/Cuisine section of the amazingly large library. FlutterShy wasn't really big on books, but she always made sure to read up on any new animals discovered or ailments to help them.Fluttershy: Um, that’s not how you spell my name.twow: HOW did he mess that up?! She hadn't a clue what Angels requested meal consisted of,twow: She better not blink. thus why she was here in the first place, making the scroll all the more difficult to locate. FlutterShy turned the corner, but she found herslef on the floor two seconds later.twow: (twitch)Luna: Is this how humans spell the word “herself?”twow: NO! She looked up towards the objetc she hit and began rambling apologies to the currently unkown pony.twow: The hell happened to his spelling? Fluttershy: Maybe he got tired?Luna: At that point, he should have saved writing for another time."Im so sorry. I will try and be more careful. Im so sorry..." Then she realized who this pony was. The way her dark mane flickered as she moved becuase of the tiny star like dots in it. This mare, was Princess Luna.Luna: Was the rest of my body not enough for her to understand who I was?FlutterShy suddenly made a high pitched squealing sound, which to most sounded like fear."EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK" and Luna was startled and angry because this happend daily.twow: Daily? Fluttershy: I don’t see the princess on a daily basis.twow: Even then, I doubt she’d be pissed because you bumped into her.Luna: I would not. I also would not be awake during the day. Usually."WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CHILD? STOP SCREAMING! I AM YOUR PRINCESS!" she then looked meekly at the ground, she didn't like speaking in Canterlock.twow and Fluttershy: (facepalm/hoof)Luna: It’s called the Royal Canterlot voice. What is this Canterlock?twow: Capital letters. Then FlutterShy saw Luna's self help books she had picked up. She realized that instead of being terrified of her princess, maybe she could help her, to stop other ponies like her from being scared of the dark mare.twow: Um, this was AFTER Nightmare Night. Luna doesn’t need any help!Luna: You are correct. I still have trouble interacting with my subjects from time to time, but I do NOT need self-help books. I mean she was only trapped inside the moon for 1000 years right?twow: It was actually 1001 years.Luna: The 500th year was the worst...Fluttershy: How so?Luna: Solar eclipse.twow and Fluttershy: Ohhhh"Im....so sorry... forgive me princess.... please forgive me..." She became really quiet, and just mumbled something about helping her.Fluttershy: I probably would do that.twow: Not if Luna wasn’t OOC as all hell."What was that? You are willing to help ME? THE MOST FEARED PRINCESS OF ALL? WHY WOULD THY DO SUCH A THING?"Luna: This author does not understand me at all! I would not be so rude to any of my subjects! Especially if they were willing to help me with a problem!twow: What is it with this guy and wanting you to act like a bitch?!"I...I just wanna be able to help anypony that asks.." she stated meekly. "I can help with keeping your voice at a low volume, Ive practiced a lot as you can tell."Luna: That is true Fluttershy. You usually do speak rather softly.Fluttershy: Thanks...Luna: Ah ha! Just like that!twow: Shoulda been there when we were riffing Momma Fluttershy. Couldn’t form words."Fine child....im sorry as well, it was tradition back in the old days to speak in Canterlock... I will gladly accpet your help."Luna: IT IS NOT CALLED CANTERLOCK.twow: The fuck does “accpet” mean?!The ponies then rejoiced with an awkward hug and agreed on a meeting time in the near future, which would be a very HARD process of getting Luna to speak normalluy, after 1000 years right?Fluttershy: Um, the princess does know how to speak normally.twow: According to the story, you spelled that wrong.Fluttershy: I don’t think I can accpet that.Luna: This story is stripping your ability to speak normalluy away!twow: Celestia’s gonna kill me if YOU can’t speak either, Luna!

3 WEEKS LATER

twow: THREE WEEKS?!

Fluttershy: What happened during that time?!

Luna: Did we sit down and just look at each other?

"Ok, so today we are going to start with your tone." FlutterShy stated. They had now been meeting for several weeks now, slowly getting to know each others strengths and weaknesses so as not to hurt one another accidentely.twow: Might I remind you that this all took place on Nightmare Night. As in, ONE NIGHT!Luna: Actually, it only took about two hours. They worked on what FlutterShy considered to be a lot, and they continued to work on it weekly, but in secret, to not make any pony suspicous of their lessons. "What do you think is the problem with your tone?"Luna: “I’ve been gone for one thousand years. What do you THINK is the problem?”Fluttershy: “Maybe you just aren’t assertive enough.”"I....." then she burst into tears and started cyring on FlutterShy's shoulder.All: Uhhhhh... This hasn't happened at all during their last couple of sessions. Luna began complaining about her sister and her banishment to the moon, which was one of the hugest problems with Luna, one of the main causes of her "disability to interact with other ponies" as the doctors put it.twow: Luna, how much does that truly bother you?Luna: Tia and I have discussed in length about it. It truly isn’t an issue anymore. Just a sad reminder for me.FlutterShy had begun to comfort her, and this normally wasn't her job, normally she was the one that needed comforting from her best friend, Rainbow Dash. This was mainly new to her.Fluttershy: That’s not true! I’ve always gone out to help my friends feel better if they’re upset!twow: According to this, you are a goddamn DOORMAT."Its alright, Im here to help with your problems, not make them worse. Please don't cry." Then Luna leaned up, and slowly kissed FlutterShy right on the lips.All: WHAT?!twow: Author, do you KNOW what pacing is?! This completely blew FlutterShy's mind, because just recently before she got together with Luna, she was thinking that she might start trying mares next, because she had been turned down and heartbroken by way too many guys before.Fluttershy: Well, I haven’t really tried dating before. Instead of slowly rejecting this new found love, she embraced it as he closed her eyes to enjoy the entire kiss which seemed to last an eternity.twow: Luna’s getting ALL the bitches! (slapped by Luna)Luna: Watch your tone when you speak about me.Fluttershy: Why did the author turn me into a stallion?!twow: I think the author meant Luna.Luna: Neither of us should have our gender changed! Then they heard hoof steps coming to the door and quickly both sat up at the same time but not before Pinkie Pie came in and saw them.Fluttershy: That would be embarrassing.twow: Not as much as explaining how it took place."oH MY GOD.." Pinkie Pie said as she slowly entered the room. Both Luna and FlutterShy had huge looks of embarrassment on their faces, and they felt really weird.twow: Yeaaaaaah, no.Fluttershy: Pinkie wouldn’t say that.twow: EVER."Look, Pinkie Pie..." FlutterShy started but she didnt get to finsih before Pinkie started bouncing around the room filled with joy!Luna: She DOES get excited easily, doesn’t she?Fluttershy: Usually.twow: Yeah."YIPPPPPPPPPIE! Now i feel so excited! Aren't you guys really excited? Cuz im really excited. This calls for a party! We need to have a party so you guys and me and Dashie can tell everyone!"twow: Normally, wouldn’t she ask for PERMISSION before she spreads it around that you locked lips with the moon princess?Fluttershy: Pinkie does care about our feelings. She would ask first."What do you mean you and Dashie?"Luna: “I meant me and Dashie.”twow: That was rather easy."Oh, thats right you don't know yet! ME AND DASHIE HAVE BEEN DATING!" And that's when FlutterShy awoke from her dream.twow: Pacing at its worst.Fluttershy: Why does everyone assume that Pinkie Pie and Rainbow are dating?twow: The same way that they assume that Twilight has a relationship with one of the princesses.Luna: WHAT.FlutterShy awoke, startled and worried. "Where is she? Where did she go? Can i follow her? I need her right now! I need to be with her!" and her thoughts went on.twow: It was a DREAM?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYLuna: What is so wrong with that?twow: That is one of the WORST plot devices ever! It’s SO overused! She then looked next to her in her bed and then slowly calmed down. It was nothing but a nightmare.Luna: So me falling in love with you would be a nightmare?Fluttershy: Oh, no!twow: So you WANT to fall in love with Luna?Fluttershy: (blushing) Well, I... She leaned in and kissed her partner, her wonderful cylan colored mare that was her love.Luna: Is cylan a color in your world, twow?twow: Never saw that one in my crayon box.She then decided to get back under the covers with her beloved Rainbow Dash, saying to herself that her dream was nothing more than a Flutter in the Moonlight.Fluttershy: (blushing) WHAT?twow: Right. That’s a popular ship also.*Please leave all thoughts in the cooments below*twow: Oh WE WILL.Fluttershy: Can we go now?Luna: Yes. I believe that we are finished here.

Pinkie: (from TV) Well, what did you think?Fluttershy: It, was a very short story.Luna: Indeed. I noticed several parts where details would have been very welcome.twow: Not to mention that it made you out to be a bitch, and then VERY clumsily shipped you two. AND THEN made it a damn dream!Fluttershy: And, it said that I was in love with Rainbow...twow: Right. That idea came out of NOWHERE and botched up the ending.Luna: I wish that the author had used more details on his scenes. It would have greatly impacted the story in a positive light.

twow: I could get behind this idea. In fact, I’ve read a great story where Twilight falls in love with Celestia and Fluttershy falls in love with you.

Fluttershy: Really?

twow: Oh yeah. It takes the time to expand on the emotions that everypony has and draws it out to the point for when you actually confess, it isn’t rushed. Damn good story.

Luna: I do not need to be back at the castle for a while. I would like to read this.

twow: Sure! How about you, Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: Um, well, sure. I’m sure that it’s really good.

twow: That’s the spirit!

Pinkie: (from TV) You all have fun! I need to go get some more pranks ready for you twow!

twow: Joy...

(Pinkie hits the button and the TV turns off with a blip.)

The Marvellous Adventures of Spike the Pervert

Hey everyone, been awhile. Let’s start with a history lesson.

My friends and I got really bored and decided to write a troll fic for no reason at all. Or wait..it was to prove a point. A lot of fics that really are bad for some reason or another actually get passed. The point of this fic was to see just how bad we could make a fic on purpose and still get it approved. In fact, this had to be redone because they didn’t pass it.

And now, I’m going to be riffing the version that got passed. It’s still really, really bad.

I present to you, The Marvellous Adventures Of Spike the Pervert

This one’s gonna HURT.

twow443: Well then. Who knew that trying to make a fridge into a car wouldn’t work?

Pinkie:(from TV) Duh! Everypony knows that ovens are all the rage!

twow: Really now?

Pinkie: Of course! Go with the gas ones though. Much better.

twow: Okay then...What do you want Pinkie?

Pinkie: Nothing! I just got bored all by myself.

twow: Where’s Rainbow? Isn’t she with you usually?

Pinkie: (shakes head) Not today!

(The lab doors open, revealing Rainbow and Twilight)

twow: Well then...

Dash: Wow. Quite the place you got here, twow.

Twilight: Yeah! Derpy wasn’t kidding! Look at all this...

twow: Don’t touch the ice pistol!

(Twilight levitates the pistol and almost freezes Rainbow solid)

Twilight: Oops.

twow: (Facepalms) Why are you two here?

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

Dash: Great. I knew there was a reason Pinkie said to grab Twilight and head over

here.

twow: Rainbow, half the times you’re pranking with her. Why do you come to these obvious set-ups?

Dash: I don’t learn?

Twilight: Drop it you two. Pinkie, what are we reading?

Pinkie: (From TV) The Marvellous Adventures of Spike the Pervert!

twow: Pinkie WHY?

Twilight: You’ve heard of this?

twow: Yup, and you aren’t gonna enjoy this. Not one bit.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Spike’s day started out normally and just like any other day that he would have lived could have ever starten.

twow: I’d give it a point for not having a cliche intro, but I can’t tell...Twilight: It’s a cliche gone so wrong. He leaped out of bed and wantered downstaries.Dash: Wantered? How do you do that?twow: Wander while your high, drunk and burning yourself.“Hai Twilight, how are you?” Spike said. “I’m fine spik, why do you ask?”Twilight: No capital AND it’s spelled wrong?!twow: Well, this is gonna suck.Dash: Can’t be as bad as when we riffed “Discord.”Spike mearly looked at her befure responding “Not much I just wok up and wanted some food.”Dash: Usually you wake up hungry.twow: Unless you're coming of a high.Dash: Wouldn’t you be more hungry then?twow: How would you know?Dash: It was a guess!"Ok spike” twiligth said. “I think we have some waffles in the kitchen!”Spike was excited because he leoved waffles and especially with syrup! “OH i love da waffles twilight?”Twilight: “I love da waffles too Spike! Maybe I can put da butter and smear da syrup         on them too!”twow: I don’t want to sit next to her.Dash: I’m not moving.Even do it wuz early in the morning he didn’t not care because the waffles were SO GOOD. Spike liked the walfles so much that he Felt AROUSED and his baby dragon parts grew increadilbley… hard. Twilight, I like you so much and these waffles are making me hurny!All: What.Dash: Hey twow...twow: Yes, I’m a male, and NO. Waffles do not arouse males!Twilight: Is it the syrup?twow: NO!Twitlight was surprised and said, “Wow do you wanna have sex then.”Twilight: NO I WOULD NOT ASK THAT!twow: Isn’t Spike still a baby? Wouldn’t that be foalcon?Dash: And who is “Twitlight?” Was the author calling you a name?twow: He was. It just wasn’t her name.Twilight: WHY ARE YOU TWO IGNORING THE BIG PICTURE HERE?!SPike was like, “Yeah!” and then He waldked over to twilight with his big purple dragon lust boner.twow: Barney 2.0. Him and Twilik Spakle went “ur ur ur” and then spike sprayed his baby dragon juice all over the place.twow: Don’t you go, “uh uh uh?”Dash: I thought it was, “yeah, yeah, yeah”Twilight: What are you two DOING?!twow: Story’s driving us off the deep end.Dash: I jumped off it and forgot I could fly.“Oh wow Spikei that was a lot and you were really good.”Twilight: He’s just a baby! How does he have that much semen?twow: Also, is he related to George Takei? “Did youo like it?.” Spike said and then Twilighty was like, “Yeah it wuz yo hehe. We shouls sooooo do this again,” but Spike was not completely satisfied so he decided to go out on the town.Dash: Wait, Twilight didn’t finish. If Spike was still aroused, couldn’t they have gone again?Twilight: And why did I even DO it?!twow: I think I’m more concerned with the fact that she isn’t commenting on the grammar.Spike eyed all off ta ponies hungrily because he was reeeeely hurny for more pony posterior and stuff so he walk into the twon squaree and everybudy was walking around and stuff because everydody knows that ponies like to walk because it is what they do.twow: That sentence didn’t have one damn comma.Dash: We do more than walk! Some of us fly!Twilight: You know what we don’t do? HAVE SEX WITH BABY DRAGONS!Spike saw rainbow dish flying through the sky above Rainbow Dash, “hey Rainbow Darsh!”twow: (laughing) Rainbow Dish?! Was she a plate, cup, saucepan?!Dash: Shut up.Twilight: Wow. At least he got the first part of your name correct.Then Rainbow dash flow aroundtwow: Huh. You really do go with the flow. (slapped by Dash)Dash: That was bad and you should feel bad. and saw Spike on the ground Rainblow Dish was like “hey spike what r you oh my goodness what are you doing.” “I’m trying to dance and sing and get some of that ass.”twow: He wasn’t dancing OR singing. He was walking around with a raging boner. (brained by both mares)Twilight: Would you REALLY want him?Dash: Dear Celestia no! I’m so OOC in this, it’s not even funny!“Ooh Rainbow Dacsh  said. “i would do to dat let me come down there and we can have somefun.Dash: Yeah! We could go to the beach, or visit Pinkie or...twow: We both know what’s gonna happen Dash.Dash: (Sobs) I don’t want it!spike jumped on rainbow dashed back and they went over to behind a bush because the marketplace was crowded. “Oooh Spike, youre so awesome and realay sexey and I love you so much! Rainbow Flash leaned down to lick Spieke’s elongated dragon boner.twow: Oh god EW.Dash: The images!Twilight: IT BURNS.She said “Oh Spike you are so good at this! To which Spike replied “yeah I just did Twilord this morning too, it was totally awesome but you’re otter.”twow: She’s a bird!Twilight: No.Dash: She’s a plane!Twilight: NO.twow and Dash: She’s TWILORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!(Twilight facehoofs as the other two hi-five) He smiled to Dash. Dash smiled to Dash. He climed on his flank and penetated har so deep thet she was close to orgassmTwilight: Is this rated Teen? How is this rated Teen?twow: Because of stupid.Spike unleash load of dragon juice and shot his load in his face while screamed “ASSSo steeamy! Rainboow Dish was like “Ahhh So GOOD!” And then she passed out from spike’s SHEER DRAGON AWESOME CUM!twow: So I guess dragons are better than ponies at this stuff.Dash: Please. Stop talking.“Oh My!” Spike said like George Takei before walking out from behind the bush and leaving Rainbow there, the ponies in the marketplace weren’t too surprise to se Spike setp out from behings bush because that was the public local sex bush.Dash: Public local sex bush. Okay.Twilight: He didn’t need to say “public” AND “local”! twow: Called it on the George Takei.Spike decided to just go on his way, but then he smelled the delicious smell coming from Sugar Cube Corner.Twilight: It always smells nice there. I’d head over there myself if I could.twow: You do realize what’s about to happen.Dash: I do, and I don’t want to anymore.He smelled all the cookies and the other pastry and he walked inside because he wanted to by something but strangly enough it was empty accept for Pinkie.Dash: Bull. It’s NEVER empty there. Even when it’s closed, ponies still try to get inside.twow: I don’t even think he has any bits. Guess he’ll have to pay with something else...(smacked by Twilight)Twilight: STOP.twow: He’ll pay with his dick. (shot by Twilight)Twilight: I WARNED YOU.twow: (writhing on the ground) No regrets!Hey” Pinkie” Spike yelled because he saw her behind the counter looking all sad and such so he wanted to cheer her up plus her big bubble but was making him rely horny.twow: Please. Pinkie does NOT get sad that easily. Dash: Why was she even sad?twow: Plot device so Spike can screw her brains out.“Hey Pinkie what’s wrong? Spike sawyed before going over to Pinkie. Pinkie isn’t really sad!twow: Thought so.She is just hoofing herself because nopony else is in the shop because she forgot to chance the sign to open from the closed.twow: ...Twilight: She could always change the sign...“SPike! WHat are you doing here?!” Pinkie cried out in embarassment“here lemme hlep you with that,” Spike said.Dash: I can’t comment on this.Twilight: SPIKE!twow: She still can.Then Spike isnerted his perpetually bonerific penis into Pinkie’s oven to help her bake some cupcakes.All: (facepalm3xcombo) “Ooooh. Ooooh. Ohooohoihoihoh!” Pinkie said because Spike was such a good baller G at sex even though he was a virgin until today. Pinkie came even fast than Spike.twow: Um, no. I’m a virgin, but I’m damn sure that Spike is NOT that good at this yet.Dash: I’m surprised he hasn’t passed out yet.Twilight: Or that I haven’t stopped him.“OH SPIKE IM FREAKING COMING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE A BROKEN FIRE HYDRANT!” and then Spike said “OH NOES THE HOES IS TURNING ON!”twow: I thought that I’d heard bad teams for sex. I was dead wrong.Twilight: That sentence placed a horrible picture in my mind.twow: Don’t share it.Together they spewed their collective juices all ofver the place and then Pinkie Pie slipped on the slippery linoleum floor and nocked herself out. Oh well.Dash: How did she even DO that?!twow: She’s Pinkie. I leave it at that.Spike just decided to let her rest and go outside but then he saw Applejack selling apples at her apple cart so he decided to be more daring.twow: Just like Daring Do.Dash: No. He walked right up to here and kissed her on the face because that is where people kiss each other when they are attracted or like each other or are realy horny!!twow: “Now when a mommy pony and a daddy pony love each other very much..”Twilight: Please don’t finish that.Dash: “They let their little dragon go out and screw everypony.”twow: Wow, Dash.Applejack was all like: “Hey Spike I didn’t know you feel that way about me let’s go have sex behind that bush because it’s private and you’re makin gme really horny and shit” So then they want behind the bush.Twilight: What?! AJ wouldn’t have sex with him!twow: Twilight. The point of this story is for Spike to have sex with all of you. And the author is going to make that happen.Spike and Snapplecrack had sex for like 1 whole hour because spike is so boos but they did things that are too weird to be told in a story because Applecrack is all conutry hick farmer and stuff yo!twow: Oh fucking PLEASE. Fallen and I riffed “Momma Fluttershy.” Dash: And your point is?twow: I have yet to see the story that can top that in weird sex. Then Applejack went back to selling apples and nobody even noticed that she was gone because she is country NINJA!twow: Ninja Pony 2Dash: Rated “E” for eerily weird.Spike was bored but then he remembered that the SUPER SEXY ALL POWERFUL RAIRITY THE UNICORN PONY, WHO WAS A PONY THAT LIKE FASHION lived across the seat and he wanted to see her and maybe have sex with her.Twilight: Well. I wonder what’s going to happen.Dash: As if we don’t know.twow: They’re gonna go bake cupcakes.Oh your so hot spike rarity said and then Spike said, “Yes, I know, let’s have sex.”twow: Because why NOT?!Twilight: It’s morally wrong?Dash: It’s weird as all heck?twow: That question wasn’t supposed to be answered.Then Spike and Rarity had pony dragon sex for a million times because they are each others one true love and nobody can ever break them apart ever.Twilight: I’d say that this was adorable, but it’s not.Dash: Probably because of what happened earlier.Twilight: And that he’s a baby. And Rarity would not take advantage of him. Spike decided not to go to Fluttershy house because she is too innocent have pony sex plus nobody really cares about her and everypony igores her anway.twow: (twitch)Twilight: Uh, something wrong with you, twow?Dash: Besides Derpy and Luna, Fluttershy is his favorite.Twilight: Oh...twow: EVERYONE DOES NOT IGNORE HER!!!!!!!!!!Twilight: Move on now?Dash: Yes.Now that Spike had had sex with everypony who was really hot and sexy, he wanted to go home and take a nap.twow: I’m STILL surprised he hasn’t passed out.Dash: Well, he is a hyper little dragon. He wanted to have sex with everypony because everybrony knows that if they were a pony that every pony would be at least an 8 on the sexy scale because they are super hot, especially Braeburn BRAEBURN!twow: Fucking Braeburn...Twilight: Wait, what?twow: In the fandom, he’s considered the hottest stallion.Dash: And most of you are males, right?twow: Yes.Twilight: AJ would not approve of this.Dash: Ew. But Spike was too tired plus he was suporsed to call his doctor if his erection lasted more than four hours plus he had just jizz 5 times in like one day so give a guy a break gosh!twow: “Guys. I got laid five times today. Leave me alone.”Twilight: Don’t use numbers in your sentences!Dash: Just gonna ignore that Twilight?Twilight: Trying to.Spike went to slepp *Dream sequence activeate*Dash: “Dream go!”twow: “You have entered, The Twilight Zone.”Spike floated around in the vast expanse of darkness that was his mind, observing the various objects floating around. Suddenly, he saw something that brought him to tears. A large Belgian Waffle with delicious, golden, fluffy crust was gently floating towards him.twow: Wow. Spike really likes waffles.Dash: How big was it?twow: No idea. In fact, I’m surprised it didn’t go into more details. Spike devoured the Europonian waffle ravenously and with great gusto; he’d never had such a marvelous treat in his entire life, even if it had been a dream.Twilight: I don’t know. He really loves gems.twow: Isn’t that what got him into that situation with all of your pets?Dash: Don’t remind me.He could feel its delicious syrup dripping down his chin as bits of waffle flew every which way. Why couldn’t more of his dream go something like this? This was perhaps one of the greatest dreams that he had ever had in his short life! Maybe he loved waffles way too much, but he was sure that if it was wrong to love waffles this much, he didn’t want to be right.twow: As long as he doesn’t start to fuck it, I’m good.Twilight: TWOW!twow: All the things I’ve said and THAT pisses you off? Geez, you’re more tolerant with Fallen.Dash: Not always.”Spike? Spike, where are you? Spike, wake up! I need you!”twow: “I need to have sex with your underage body again!” (thrown into wall by Twilight)Dash: Taking it too far, twow.He felt himself being pulled from his sleep, probably by Twilight to do his daily chores. He gave a small sigh and a tear escaped his dragon iris as he slowly let go of the remnants of what had once been a delicious masterpiece of confectionary delight.Twilight: Didn’t he eat the whole waffle though?Dash: He was hanging on to the bits and pieces of what was left. Slowly, he began to rise through the vast darkness around him into the ever expanding light present in the sky.twow: Normally I’d tell him to not go to the light, but he has no choice now.*End Dream Sequence*Twilight: Thanks for letting us know.*3 Months later*Twilight: What?!Dash: Wait, I thought he was waking up! What happened?twow: Pacing called and took a holiday.“Spike how are you fealing” Nurse Redheart asked.Spike said, “I’m fine.”twow: Should be, even though we have NO idea what happened.Dash: Unless the story wants to imply that he kept having sex with us.“I’m sorry but you had too much sex and you are now going to die from low sperm count in 5.2 secenods.” “Aaaaah.” Spike screamed before he feel to the ground and died.twow: Um...Twilight: twow...twow: As far as I know, it doesn’t work like that. Besides, he’s a dragon.Dash: He sounded like he really didn’t care that he was dying.The End.And then I came.Twilight: Well. That’s a way to end your story.twow: Who cares? Let’s get the fuck OUT.

Twilight: That was horrible!Dash: I really didn’t want to read about my dragon friend having sex with all of us.twow: Not to mention the grammar was enough to make you puke blood, the story made no sense at all, and the pacing went faster than the Road Runner on speed and with rockets on his back!Dash: Was this a trollfic? PLEASE tell me it was a trollfic.twow: It was.Twilight: But twow. All of your friends can write well. Why was this written?twow: I might be wrong on the actual story, but it was called “Blue Thunder.”Dash: And?twow: Each fucking chapter was a HUGE wall of text, and I don’t remember the plot. A friend reviewed it, and it wasn’t pretty. God help me if Pinkie makes me riff that.Twilight: And this was written why?twow: We couldn’t understand how it passed moderation. So, we decided to purposely write a bad fic and see how bad we could get it for it to still pass. The original draft failed.Twilight: And this was the remake?twow: Yup.Dash: Wow. The mods really should take more time to read these fics.twow: In all honesty, I can’t blame them. There isn’t a lot of them and a TON of fics are sent in every day. In fact, there was a time where it could take up to a WEEK to get a fic approved.Dash: Wow.twow: Yup. But as you can see, because of that shit like THIS gets passed.Pinkie(from TV) And it was great! (The lab doors unlock and open)Dash: Well, I’ll see you around  twow. Maybe we’ll hang out sometime.twow: I’m fine with that, if I can get my pony creator to work.(Dash smiles and flies out, but Twilight stays.)Twilight: Hey twow?twow: Yeah?Twilight: I was talking with Fallen about you, and he was right.twow: About?Twilight: You really are a nice person. It was fun spending time with you.twow: Well, I respect Fallen and he says that about someone, he usually means it. So I’m rather honored. And if it means anything, I think the same about him. He pushes me to my limits, which helps me alot. I better thank him next time I see him.Twilight: Yeah. I’ll see you later.twow: Yup. See you.(Twilight leaves the lab.)Pinkie(from TV): I like you too T! You’re as much fun to prank as Primey is!twow: Well, THAT’s a relief.Pinkie(from TV): I know! Well, time to go confer with him to figure out another prank for you!twow: Pinkie, wha-(Pinkie pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

FlutterLove

Remind me to never make bets with Fallen Prime ever again. EVER.

I recently got riffing fever and wanted to riff some stories, in case you hadn’t seen my growing riff list. So, I asked Fallen to find some stories for me. Unfortunately, I was asking the one person that KNEW how much I love Fluttershy AND made me read AND riff “Momma Fluttershy.”Truly, I asked the wrong fucking person.ANYWAY, I made another bet with him. He’s gonna give me a list of stories for me to review, mostly one-shots and one multi-chapter. If I complete them, he’s gonna riff my “Starlight” series with me. If I fail, well I don’t know. But that scares me. And this is the first story in my list of ones I have to complete. Short one-shot that involves Anon killing a pregnant Fluttershy, after he rapes her and....Well I’m not going to spoil that. Just know that as I write this, I am thinking about the many ways I can hunt down and otherwise brutally kill Fallen.Let’s get this over with. Here’s FlutterLove.May one of the Celestial Sisters have mercy on my soul.

twow: I thought that one was gonna work!Derpy: Please twow. You can’t turn into a pony. twow: I created a sword that can slice into the space/time continuum. Why can’t I make myself turn into a pony?Dash: Because you just can’t.twow: Thanks. Why are you here again?Dash: I told you that we were gonna hang out sometime. ANd it gave me an excuse to talk with Derpy for a while.twow: You could always just do that and let me work. That way I can go explore Ponyville without Twilight wrapping me in eighteen different spells.Derpy: Well, we could take Dinky out for a while...(The lab doors slam shut and lock)twow: Or you could be forced to stay in here and riff something. Of course.Pinkie(from TV): Aw, come on T! It’s not that bad!twow: Okay. YOU come in here and riff then.Pinkie: I will another time. But I have a friend of yours here!Fallen Prime: (from TV) ...you call him “T?”twow: Pinkie. FUCKING WHY.Dash: Oh. Hey there Fallen.Fallen: Sup, Rainbow. Derpy: Hi Fallen!twow: My god..Pinkie, why is he in there?Pinkie: Well, I’ll just let him tell you!Fallen: Alright. But you can’t be mad at me.twow: That’s not any sort of a promise when it comes to YOU.Fallen: Lovely. Well, our little pink friend over here came to me with an interesting proposition. Dash: And what was it?Fallen: Nothing huge. She just wanted to know if I’d be willing to help her force you into a riff. I had so much fun holding the reins for “pRince Martin Willis” that I couldn’t say no. She even let me pick the story!twow: That scares me to no end.Derpy: Come on twow! It can’t be that bad!twow: Derpy, you were THERE for “Momma Fluttershy!” How can you still say that?!Dash: What is it?Fallen: Well... twow was close when he said “Momma Fluttershy.” It’s another story about her, but... due to the nature of the thing, and given what she revealed to us in the last marathon, Pinkie and I didn’t have the heart to arrange for her to be here for it.twow: (twitch)Derpy: Uh, twow? You alright?Fallen: Leave him. You’ll be just as bad.Derpy: Wait, what?twow: (clears throat) Hey Fallen.Fallen: This ought to be good... what?twow: Allow me to ask...WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!Fallen: The answer would only scare you.Dash: I don’t want to be here anymore.Pinkie: Sorry guys, but you gotta do it!twow: I swear. You and Fallen don’t have souls.Fallen: You take that back! Pinkie does TOO have a soul!twow: Then we wouldn’t be here.*BUZZ*All: We’ve got story sign!

It was just another day in the land of magical ponies.twow: “Everyday I’m surrounded by these ponies.”Dash: “Everyday?”twow: “EVERYDAY.”Derpy: “What a tragedy.”You are hiking on a mountain. You stop for a second to wipe sweat from your brow and take a look up into the sky. The sun was shining bright as usual.Derpy: Unless Princess Celestia takes a vacation.twow: Wait, can she even do that?Dash: She tried. Didn’t end well.twow: How bad?Dash: Imagine day and night at the same time.twow: Yikes.You don’t know how long you’ve been in Equestria. You were brought here by an unknown force.twow: We didn’t want to know how you got here anyway.Dash: I blame the loss of reason. Now you would think a meat eating tall alien would be shunned by the ponies.Derpy: Not to be mean, but it kinda would.Dash: At least until we knew it was friendly.You would be wrong, it took a while but you were slowly was accepted in pony society.twow: I would kill to know how that worked. You got a job... well did multiple little jobs for some quick cash, what's important is that you earned an honest pay, and had a nice place built. You even made a lot of friends back in Ponyville.Derpy: Well, you eat meat twow and we still like you.twow: If you count fish. Derpy: We still like you though.Dash: We can stand you a bit more than Fallen.twow: I’ll tell him you said that.Fallen: (from TV) You HAVE to know I can hear you from here, Rainbow.Dash: Oh..twow: Damn it Fallen!At times you wanted to give up, but that was never your style. You are Anonymous.Dash: “I have never been my own person.”Derpy: “I never will be a person.”twow: I really don’t like that this is second person.You continue to trek along the mountainside and you come across a cave. Guess you should camp out here for the rest of the day until tomorrow.Derpy: Why is he here? There was NO backstory.twow: Usually I would flip at that, but I don’t think any true backstory for this would work. You’ve been walking for 2 days strait. You could use some rest, water, and food. You set your bags down and take a sip from your canteen. You wince as you try to take your boots off.Your feet are covered in blisters and blood.Dash: So, did he not sleep at all?twow: That’s implied. You rummage through your pack and pull out a box. “Mmmmm cupcakes.”twow: Must...resist...overused...joke.Dash: Please do.Derpy: I’m sure that Pinkie made those.twow: With Dash’s...Dash: DO NOT FINISH THAT. You take a bite and just close your eyes taking in that amazing sweet flavor. Pinkie Pie always made the best cupcakes, she wasn’t your bro but was up there.Derpy: Seeing how Pinkie is a mare, she can’t be this guy’s bro.twow: Earth expression Derpy. Really bad one though. “Dash… I’m so sorry.” You start sobbing as you feast on the last of the pastries in the box. They were going to get bad soon anyways.Dash: For what?twow: He’s sorry for existing.Derpy: That’s kinda harsh.twow: It’s not harsh enough.When you are done you just lay back and cry yourself to sleep. You are awaken by a light clopping noise. You jump to your feet and scan the area for the intruder. It’s nighttime but you can see a shadow at the mouth of the cave. You also hear an “EEP.” You sigh and sit back down.twow: Oh boy.Derpy: It’s Fluttershy, right? Dash: You know. Because she’s gonna follow him. At night.twow: Because FUCK LOGIC.”You shouldn’t have followed me here Fluttershy, come out.”“W-what?”twow: Guess she needed to come out...Ah fuck it.Dash: Wow. You’re actually reaching.twow: My humor is being drained from my body.She slowly trots towards you with tears in her eyes. You want to be angry at her but to see a familiar place after being alone for so long…Derpy: Fluttershy’s a place now. Okay.twow: Filled with little bunnies and trees. Everywhere. You had grown accustomed to having so many friends hanging around you all the time in Ponyville. ”You shouldn’t have followed me out here Fluttershy. How did you find me?”Dash: She’s a pegasus. It probably wasn’t that hard.twow: I don’t know. She would have had to fly for a while.Derpy: True, but we can stand on and move clouds.”Anon I’m so happy I found you… a little bird told me.”A little… ohh… knowing Fluttershy that could be quite literal. “You should leave. Now.”twow: Didn’t you JUST say that you were happy to see her?Dash: Someone’s mood-swinging.”Anon why did you leave, what happened in Canterlot?”“I don’t want to talk about it.”Dash: Dude, Fluttershy is the ONE pony that you SHOULD talk to. She’s great at understanding people.Derpy: I know!twow: Girls, this isn’t a person. This is Anon.“But-”“Don’t push it Fluttershy just leave.”Dash: “You must go from here. I might flip out on you.”twow: Well...Derpy: “I am Anon. I don’t have feelings.”twow: Hit that right on the head Derpy.”Anon I had something important to tell you, but you just packed up and left without telling anypony, you didn’t even let Rainbow know you left, she hasn’t been the same since.” You don’t respond, you are torn up about the pain you caused your Rainbro. ”If you aren’t going to talk than just listen to me, I’m pregnant.”twow: (facepalm 2x combo)Dash: “Rainbro?” Really?Derpy: I guess he considered you his brother.Dash: That’s a frightening thought.twow: YOU ARE MISSING THE IMPORTANT PART HERE.Your eyes go saucer wide and you turn to face her. “Is… how…impossible.”She places a hoof on your shoulder. ”Anon, I-” She gets interrupted with a jab in the stomach.twow: (twitch)Dash: Why did he jab her?Derpy: Wait. Was it a soft jab, or did he punch her?Dash: If he punched her, then he’s not going to have arms to punch anything else.“NO, IT’S IMPOSSIBLE.” You keep beating her senseless.”Anon… please stop.”“NO, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME YOU TRAMP, IT’S YOUR FAULT I HAD TO LEAVE.””w-what?”Dash: Yeah what?! We don’t know anything here?Derpy: Did he just lose it at seeing her?Dash: Apparently.Derpy: I’m so confused here.”CELESTIA SAID I WAS CORRUPTING YOU AND APPLEJACK SOMEHOW AND BANISHED ME, I HAVE 1 WEEK TO GET OUT OF EQUESTRIAN BORDERS OR SHE’LL VAPORIZE ME.” You break down in tears again. ”It’s all a game to her, I know I won’t make it in time. SHE’S TOYING WITH ME.”twow: If you count him fucking her and getting her pregnant, which DOES NOT WORK, then yeah! FUCK YOU!Dash: Great. He’s in the process of breaking.Derpy: So, we have to riff on then?Dash: Either that or live in this lab forever.Derpy: That might not be so bad.“Anon… I didn’t know… I’m sorry. I’ll go tell Rainbow Dash and the others, they’ll understand.”“No.””What?”Dash: Well, at least he knows that we wouldn’t understand.twow: That just makes what’s about to happen worse.You pounce on her. “NO, you are not leaving this cave alive, you are going to pay for everything you’ve done.” You pull out a knife and bring it to her face.”Anon please don’t do this… I’m so sorry.”twow: Fluttershy, you didn’t DO anything! Why the fuck are you sorry?!Derpy: She’s probably sorry that she followed this jerk.You suddenly get another idea, you want her to feel the pain you felt 2 weeks prior.twow: Wasn’t he only traveling for two days?Dash: No consistency is best consistency. You take off your belt with one hand while holding the knife to her neck. A trickle of blood runs down the side of her neck and your greedily lick it up while teasing her entrance with your manhood.Dash: Oh... Why.Derpy: You’re strangely not reacting...twow PUT THE SWORD DOWN!twow: This fuckhead DIES!Fallen: (from TV) For the record? You’re going to make me one of those swords.twow: Sure. Right after I jam this one UP YOUR ASS.Fallen: Oh, come on! Not in front of an audience!Derpy: Now probably isn’t a good time Fallen.”P-please Anon not like this.”“Not like this?” You start laughing manically. “NOT LIKE THIS? YOU RAPED ME! AND YOU DARE LIE TO ME SAYING THAT YOU ARE SOMEHOW PREGNANT? IS THAT A PLOY TO GET ME TO LIVE WITH YOU SO YOU CAN SEXUALLY ABUSE ME EVERYDAY? I BET YOU RAPED SOME OTHER STALLION JUST SO YOU COULD FUCKING PIN IT ON ME.”twow: Wait. WAIT one second!Dash: twow...Derpy: No, let him. He’s probably not going to use actual words after this.twow: She said that she was pregnant. His reaction indicates that he was the one that impregnated HER. Which isn’t even possible. But, why the fuck is HE pissed off?! If he has to leave Equestria, then he shouldn’t even be worried about the foal, or whatever it is. Also, I’m going to assume that it was consensual because she didn’t act like she was ashamed and I know for a FACT that Fluttershy wouldn’t rape ANYONE.Dash: Wow. That was impressive.You thrust into her and pound her as hard and as fast as you can. She kicks at you trying to get you off. ”Ahhhh~ Anon…. I’m …. Not lying… please stop… I’m sorry.” She says between hard breaths and moans.twow: You son of a...Derpy: Wait a second! He said that SHE raped HIM. In that case, why is he suddenly stronger than her?!Dash: By his logic, she should be the one that’s raping him! twow: This story took logic, raped it and then BURNED IT AT THE FUCKING STAKE.”Stop? You want me to stop? Fluttershy I thought this was what you always wanted.” You say still laughing. She is still squirming under you determined to get you off of her. You pin her wings down with your elbows to make her stop.Derpy: Uhhh, she can still squirm.Dash: This story makes me hate things.twow: Okay, fuck the sword. BASS CANNON TIME!Dash: You have one of those?!twow: Made two. Gave one to Vinyl.Fallen: (from TV) So I should charge YOU for the damage she did to my doors!twow: Piss off!She screams in pain and stops kicking. You are getting close. Any last words Fluttershy?” you manage to say in between grunts.Dash: You’re a horrible person?Derpy: Princess Celestia should have turned YOU into stone?twow: I should have found you, castrated you with a spoon, poured acid on your dick and flayed you alive with a butter knife?Dash: I don’t think I want to sit next to him anymore.” Was… hematolagnia your fetish… this whole time?”All: PROBABLY!!“I don't know.” You will never satisfy her with the answer, not even in death. You then lift your elbows up and decapitate her as you cum inside her sugar walls.All:HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You lay by her lifeless body while licking up some more blood. You lay there with her in your arms, you should probably take her with you as food substance. You throw her lifeless body in the pack and leave.Derpy: He’s, he’s gonna EAT HER?!Dash: I can see why he got banished!twow: And I can see why he’s gonna DIE.You really hope you make it out before the week is up.twow: If I can help it, he won’t.Derpy: I thought he only had two days?Dash: Let it go Derpy. We finished.

Fallen: (from TV) See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?

twow: Bad? BAD?

Dash: Oh great. Here we go again.

Derpy: I’ll grab the earmuffs.

Fallen: I’ve got the popcorn. Please, proceed.

twow: First off, this was second person! Second off, there was NO fucking backstory! We were supposed to imply that we KNEW what happened from the shitty clues in the story! Did I mention that this was a HiE fic?! And when Fluttershy pops up, it’s all like, OH SHIT I’M GOING TO HAVE A CHILD WITH YOU. Which can NOT FUCKING HAPPEN.

Fallen: Oh, “My Second Life” would make you WEEP.

twow: And for no reason, he flips the fuck out and rapes her, AFTER claiming that SHE raped HIM. That also doesn’t work because rape is a show of power! If the story was trying to make sense, then she would have raped him in the cave! But it doesn’t, and after he rapes her, HE FUCKING CUTS HER HEAD OFF.

Dash: I just remembered. If she’s dead, then her child dies...

twow: Oh! HAI MOMMA FLUTTERSHY FLASHBACKS!

Fallen: Took you that long? Wow, that’s kind of sad.

twow: FUCK YOUUUUU-

Derpy: So, this was a really, bad story. I’d say that it was written for shock, but the story can’t make sense with itself.

Dash: And in the end, it really failed at what it was trying to do.

Pinkie(from TV): Wow, I’m sorry T. I didn’t know you were going to react like that.

Fallen: But I did. Why the hell do you think I gave it to you to give to them?

twow: (sobs) I hate everything.

Dash: Geez Fallen. What is it with you and seeing twow suffer?

Fallen: Tell me it’s not amusing from the other side of the TV. I dare you.

Dash: I’ve never BEEN on the other side when twow’s there.

Derpy: You didn’t answer the question Fallen.

Fallen: What more do I NEED to say? It’s just fun to watch him squirm.

Derpy: Aren’t you two friends though?

Fallen: That’s what it says on all the legal documents, at least.

twow: Remind me to burn those.

Fallen: I’m better armed than you will ever be. By all means, try.

twow: Well, I can slice into the space-time continuum and I’m building a TARDIS. Bitch.

Dash: Relax you two. Pinkie, can you let us out?

Pinkie(from TV): Yup! You were good sports!

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

twow: I’ll be fine, as long as Fallen doesn’t give Pinkie more stories to give us.

Fallen: Oh, you poor, doomed child. You’re gonna be here for a loooooongtime.

twow: Wait, what? This was a one-time thing.

Pinkie(From TV): Wellllll...

Fallen: (cackling maniacally)

twow: EXPLAIN.

Fallen: Pinkie didn’t commission me for the one story. She did it for SEVERAL. You know what they say, though; first is the worst. Not that the rest don’t hurt like hell...

Dash: Pinkie, why didn’t you tell me about this?!

Pinkie: I kinda forgot.

twow: So, when’s the next one Fallen?

Fallen: Where’s the fun in just telling you? It’ll come when you least expect it. You’ll know it when it does, though.

twow: I am going to stay the HELL away from my lab for a while.

Derpy: You live here twow. Not gonna be easy.

twow: Right. Well, time to try to pilot my model TARDIS into Fallen’s armory.

Fallen: Hope you built two, because I can’t promise it’ll still be yours if you get anywhere NEAR my armory. At any rate, I think we’re done here. Pinkie, the button, if you will.

Pinkie: You got it! See you next time T!

twow: So not looking forward to it.

(Pinkie pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip)

Marshmallow Holes

What the hell is wrong with me...

Alright, if you’ve been keeping track of the Three Musketeers (myself, Fallen Prime and Erickilla) you’ll know that we’ve been riffing 120 Days of Blueblood. And if you know Bronystories, that story is all SORTS of fucked up.When I was trying to put together the Blueblood riff, we actually had a choice between that or the story that I’m about to do now. And if you believe it, Fallen did NOT want to do this one. In fact, I think he hated it more that Blueblood.Scared yet?Either way, I asked Bronystories if I could riff this, and he said go ahead. And I want you all to know one thing before we begin. I do not know a damn thing about this story. Nothing.And with that, I present Bronystories’ Marshmallow HolesThis is going to be quite the journey.

Twilight: Okay, now you’ve gone off the deep end twow.twow: What?! I didn’t do anything wrong!Twilight: You created a gun that shoots BLACK HOLES.twow: It’s supposed to be a new kind of vacuum. Rarity: It’s a safety hazard to all life as we know it!twow: Don’t worry, I turned the power way down. It’s only strong enough to suck up a house.Twilight: Only?!Rarity: twow dear, I’m starting to think that you aren’t in control of your mind.twow: Of course I am! Pinkie’s the one that isn’t in control.Pinkie: I sure ain’t!Rarity: Of course you are Pinkie. How are you today?Pinkie: Doing great!Twilight: Have you seen Rainbow lately?Dash(from TV): Right here Twilight. And let me say I’m sorry in advance.twow: Sorry for what?(The lab doors slam shut and lock)Dash: That.Rarity: Well. She traps you in here as well twow?twow: She does. I THOUGHT I fixed that door.Pinkie: You did! I unfixed it when I came over!Twilight: I will never understand why you two do this to us.Dash: It’s fun.twow: Something tells me that we aren’t getting anything else out of them. What’s the story?Pinkie: It’s “Marshmallow Holes!”twow: OH GOD.Rarity: What’s wrong?twow: Remember “120 Days of Blueblood?” This is from the same author.Twilight: Oh...that’s not good.twow: And the real icing on the cake? I know nothing about this story.Twilight: Nothing at all?twow: Not a damn thing.*BUZZ*All: We’ve got story sign!

It was a sunny and warm Friday morning.twow: It was a dark and stormy night. Fashion magazines and sketches of haute couture lay strewn about the young teenager's room. While other girls her age were obsessed with wearing pretty dresses, Rarity was more interested in making pretty dresses. Rolls of fabric, scissors, parchment and pencils littered her floor.Rarity: I enjoyed wearing dresses also! It’s part of the reason that I enjoy making them!twow: As long as you got outside time.Rarity lay in her bed, reflecting on how much she would prefer to skip school today. Glancing over at her bedside table, she looked at the framed photo of herself with her classmate, Cheerilee.Twilight: I didn’t know that you two were roughly the same age.Rarity: She’s actually a year older than me."No," Rarity said to herself, "If I want to be allowed to attend Cheerilee's pool party this evening, then I'd better put my best hoof forward. I'm certainly not going to win my parents' approval by skipping school."twow: You always COULD go pretend to catch the bus and just spend the whole day roaming.Twilight: Speaking from experience?twow: Please. My mother would have beaten my ass if I did that.Rarity sat up in bed and stretched her arms. She wore silk pajamas of her own design and curlers in her bouncy, purple mane. Swinging her legs around, Rarity put her fuzzy slippers over her stubby hooves and got out of bed.Rarity: Well, this doesn’t seem that bad...wait. ARMS?!twow: Shit. Everypony in this fic is anthropomorphic. Twilight: What does that mean again?twow: You all walk on your hind legs, you have hands and other human features. You still have your hooves, mane, tail, horn...Twilight: Well then. This is going to be weird.twow: That’s an understatement.As she walked over to her bathroom door, Rarity's long, flowing tail poked out of a hole in her pajamas; swishing as she walked.twow: Imagine if she hadn’t cut that hole. REALLY annoying that would be.Once inside the privacy of her bathroom, Rarity removed her curlers and disrobed. She set her pajamas and pink panties in the laundry bin and took a moment to admire her naked body in the mirror.twow:...Twilight: Umm...Rarity: Why is he so quiet?Twilight: I think he might be trying to picture it.Rarity: TWOW!twow: AHH! BAD IMAGE GO AWAY!Rarity's skin was milky white, smooth and blemish free. She took great pride in her appearance and was proud of her nicely developed tits. She placed her hands on her chest and smiled while fondling her C-size breasts.Rarity: Well, I have always been proud of my figure.Twilight: Rarity, I hope you remembered  that you will never look like this.twow: Well. I could have died happy not knowing any of that."I'm finally able to fill out that bikini I designed," Rarity said proudly.twow: “It took me THREE DAYS!”While her beasts were an important step in her development towards marehood, the real symbol of Rarity's puberty happened a few years earlier and was located on her hips.Rarity: Pardon me, but what is a “beast”?twow: Something that shouldn’t exist on your body. She turned to the side to get a good look at her cutie mark. Taking her index finger, Rarity traced around the three sky-blue diamond-shaped jewels that stood out in bold contrast against her creamy white skin.Twilight: I’m still being thrown for a loop at the fact that we have fingers.Rarity: I’m thrown for a loop at the fact that I’m a teenager in this.twow: I’m thrown for a loop that I have to read this.Due to the location of one's cutie mark, it was often considered a very personal part of the body, like ones genitals. Cutie marks were difficult to show off to others, as they were often covered by layers of clothing.twow: Duh. To see it, you’d also be seeing part of your ass.Rarity: TWOW! As Rarity stepped into the shower, she became more excited for this evening. A pool party was a great way for fillies to wear revealing bathing suits which exposed their cutie marks to the world.twow: How revealing are these swimsuits?Twilight: Well, you can see a pony’s cutie mark, so I don’t know.twow: Am I gonna be able to see some boobs? (smacked by Rarity.)After her shower, Rarity used her unicorn magic to levitate a towel over to her and began to dry herself. She got ready for school by putting on a bra, a pair of pink panties, a grey dress and a red ascot around her neck. She also wore a matching red beret on her head. Her unicorn horn stuck out underneath the brim of her hat.Twilight: This doesn’t seem so much of a BAD story than just one with lots of details.twow: I’m praying that you’re right, but remember. Fallen wouldn’t touch this, and he’s done “the brothel.”As she came down stairs, Rarity's parents and baby sister were seated around the table.twow: Wonder how long they were waiting for Rarity.Rarity: Too long?"Morning mother. Morning father," Rarity said, as she kissed her father on the cheek. He hadn't shaved yet, so his coarse bristles scratched against her cheek.twow: No shave is the best shave.Rarity sat at the table, next to Sweetie Belle's highchair. The baby unicorn was clapping her hands together excitedly while babbling baby talk. Using her magic, Sweetie Belle banged a spoon against her highchair tray.Twilight: Wait, Sweetie can’t even do more then produce sparks NOW. How is she levitating the spoon?twow: The power of the reason.Rarity's father, Magnum, rubbed his forehead, as the noise was starting to give him a headache. He tried to distract himself by focusing on the paper he was reading.twow: Or you could, I don’t know, take the spoon from her?Rarity: She needs that to eat with!twow: She’s not eating anything right NOW.Rarity's mother, Pearl, set breakfast on the table. With the help of her unicorn magic, Pearl was able to tend to several tasks at once. She poured Magnum a glass of orange juice while catching her toast in mid-air as they popped out of the toaster. She buttered the toast while they were held suspended in the air by her magical aura, before setting them on her plate.Twilight: I really don’t understand why you were afraid of this twow. This is more boring than bad.twow: This was written by Bronystories. That should scare you. Ask Rarity.Rarity: Yes, I was not particularly fond of the other story he wrote, but I’m going to agree with Twilight on this.twow: Just wait...Once everyone had their food, Pearl addressed her daughter on an issue that had been troubling her for months.twow: “I understand that you're growing up, but you must always remember to use protection..(smacked by Rarity)Rarity: How dare you?!"Rarity, I do wish you'd clean your room," Pearl said, "A lady your age is much too old to live in such a mess.""It isn't a mess, mother," Rarity said, "It's organized chaos. I can find whatever I need in my room."twow: All the things that could be a major issue, and it’s her room?Rarity: I can understand, but organized chaos works.Twilight: I’m just wondering why it’s a big deal. Like, how bad is the room?twow: Her thinking room in Ponyville is organized chaos, and it STILL doesn’t look that bad. "Except for the floor," Magnum said, not raising his eyes from the paper, "I bet you bits to barley it would take you all night to find your floor underneath all the junk that's piled on top of it."Rarity opened her mouth to protest, but then thought better of it and remained silent.twow:...burn?"All we're asking for is a clear path," Pearl said, "If we had a fire, Celestia forbid, you'd break your neck trying to get out of your room."Rarity resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead opted to smile politely.Twilight: Guess they forgot she could clear her way with magic.Rarity: Or clean the ROOM."Of course, mother," Rarity said, "Clearing a path shall be my top priority this weekend.""Why not start today after school?" Magnum asked.Rarity gulped. She knew it was Syd-neigh or the bush if she wanted to attend the pool party.Rarity: I don’t think I understand.Twilight: I don’t either.twow: Hmm..."You know Cheerilee, right?" Rarity said, smiling nervously.Magnum set down the paper and tried to think. He rubbed a finger across his mustache, which is what he always did when he was lost in thought. Pearl also tried to picture Rarity's classmate."Cheerilee," Pearl said thinking, "Isn't she the one with the frizzy hair and the braces?""Oh, right," Magnum said, smiling, "The airhead." Rarity looked slightly indignant.twow: Just like Twilight! (smacked by Twilight)Twilight: I’m not an airhead! I prefer “educated.”Rarity: That’s the spirit!"Cheerilee isn't an airhead, father," Rarity said, "She's just a little... flighty, is all.""Well, what about her?" Magnum asked."Oh, nothing," Rarity said, trying to soften the blow, "She's just going to be having a pool party at her house tonight."twow: I just realized something. Rarity: And that would be?twow: Your world has a lot of innocence.Twilight: How so?twow: If I asked to go to one of those, my parents would have been asked all sorts of questions.Rarity: What kind of questions? twow: You don’t want to know.Her parents looked at her expectantly. There was an awkward pause. Rarity smiled as her eyes darted from her mother to her father."And?" Magnum said, impatiently. Rarity had hoped that her parents would take the hint without needing it spelled out for them, but she wasn't that fortunate.Twilight: I refuse to admit that she had to explain her purpose for bringing it up.twow: Apparently Rarity’s parents need their hands held. A lot."And," Rarity said with a sigh, "I had hoped that I might be able to attend."Magnum scratched his head and looked at his wife. Pearl looked stern. Rarity decided to be bold and press the issue."So, may I go?" Rarity asked with a hesitant smile."Your father and I have been planning tonight's date for weeks," Pearl said as she put her hands on her hips, "You said you'd watch Sweetie Belle while we went to dinner."Rarity: If I knew that I had to watch my baby sister, then I wouldn’t have asked!twow: Actually, that’s a good point. How long ago was this party planned? If you asked before your parents planned their date, this wouldn’t be a problem.Twilight: And there’s nothing stopping them from finding another babysitter if that was the case.Rarity's heart sank as she remembered her promise to take care of her sister. She mentally cursed her generous nature as she gave Sweetie Belle a nasty look. Rarity took a deep breath as she tried to reason with her parents."We can get Sweetie Belle a babysitter," Rarity said, "I'll pay for it out of my allowance.""This isn't about the money," Rarity's mother scolded, "It's about taking responsibility."Twilight: I see where she’s coming from...twow: So do I, but it wouldn’t hurt if she did pay for a babysitter. Sweetie would still be watched.Rarity: If I might add, didn’t I volunteer myself? Shouldn’t I have the right to change it up, as long as Sweetie is taken care of?twow: Not usually. In the eyes of parents, once you agree to something, you are stuck."I'm a teenager, mother," Rarity said, "I have the rest of my life to be responsible, but only a few short years of adolescence left.""Those few years are looking pretty long from where I'm sitting," Magnum said as he returned to reading the paper. He felt confident that his wife could handle things from here on out.Rarity: He takes the time to trounce my statement, then goes back to reading?twow: Like a BOSS."You have babysitting obligations and are grounded from parties until your room is clean," Pearl said, curtly, "You're not going to any pool parties, and that's final!" Pearl put her hoof down as she collected the dishes from breakfast.Twilight: I like how she wasn’t thinking about grounding you until you made a small point.Rarity: I can understand my obligations, but why was she grounding me if I couldn’t go in the first place?twow: I’d say it’s for future parties, but you’d have your room clean by then. All she had to say was that you had to watch Sweetie Belle.Rarity glared at her mother, who was using magic to help clear the table. Without a word, Rarity scooted her chair away and stood up. She left the table and grabbed her brown trench coat on her way out the door.twow: The Doctor would be proud.Twilight: Are you talking about Time Turner? He doesn’t wear trenchcoats.twow: Tenth Doctor. That is all."I'll be back after school then," Rarity said, petulantly, "to clean my room and watch after the baby!"Rarity slammed the door behind her as she ran to wait for the bus.Rarity: “Get back here and slam this door properly!”Once at school, Rarity tried to forget all about the pool party, but it wasn't easy. She was constantly reminded of all the fun she'd be missing out on by her classmates. Several fillies and colts talked excitedly amongst themselves, which Rarity couldn't help but overhear.twow: The wording here makes me think of a bunch of foals, not teenagers.As she waited for the teacher to arrive, Rarity folded her arms and rested her head on her desk. She felt miserable and spent her time rehearsing how she would turn down her friend's invitation.Twilight: “I’m sorry Cheerilee, I can’t come because I didn’t have my room clean.”Rarity: “I’m sorry Cheerilee, I can’t come because I offered to watch my baby sister.”twow: “I’m sorry Cheerilee, I can’t come because something extremely fucked up is going to happen to me.”"I'm sorry, Cheerilee," Rarity said quietly enough for her classmates to not overhear her, "I know you invited me to your pool party, but I won't be able to attend. I have to clean my room and babysit my sister."Rarity: Or, that works also.twow: (mumbling) I liked mine better. Rarity clenched her fist at the sheer injustice of it all. She lifted her head and stared at the clock. Today was going to be a long day.Rarity was irritated. She felt a burning, chaffing irritation.Twilight: That was...twow: Duh. If you feel an irritation, then you are irritated."Chaffing?" Rarity thought, as she shifted in her seat. Suddenly, Rarity felt a sudden urge to scratch her bottom. Not wanting to embarrass herself, Rarity got up and left the classroom.Leaving the presence of the other students had the added benefit of putting distance between her and their excited chatter regarding tonight's party.twow: That damn party. I’m rather glad I wasn’t a popular person in school.Twilight: What was your social class in school?twow: In your world, imagine that one pony that everyone ignores or pretends to be his friend.Twilight: Oh...twow: Yeah. Now imagine that about 4 times worse.Rarity: Aren’t you exaggerating a bit?twow: I am not. High school was not kind to me.Rarity entered the little fillies' room, which was unoccupied. She entered the more private handicapped stall, which was larger and had its own mirror and sink.twow: Woah! Wish the handicapped stalls had that in my world!Rarity: You are not disabled.twow: Maybe not, but I love those fucking stalls!Twilight: You might be disabled in a different way."Why is my bum so itchy?" Rarity thought. She turned around so her butt was facing the mirror. She lowered her pink panties to her knees and gazed at her reflection.Hiking her tail up, Rarity lifted her dress to examine her naked ass.twow: And on that pleasant note, I think it’s time for a break.Twilight: I’m alright with that. Rarity: And I am as well. In fact, I had a question for you twow.

twow: Alright. What’s up?Rarity: I was speaking with Fallen...twow: THERE’s a good sign.Rarity: Excuse me. twow: Sorry.Rarity: As I was saying, I was talking with him and he mentioned that you dislike me.Twilight: Rarity, did you HAVE to bring that up?Rarity: If I am expected to continue reading stories and knowing that he lives in Equestria, yes.twow: Motherfucker...Rarity: Well?twow: Alright. When I first because a brony, the first two episodes that I saw were “Sonic Rainboom” and “The Cutie Mark Chronicles.” And I’m sorry, but the former didn’t give me a good impression of you.Twilight: twow, that’s not really fair to Rarity.twow: I know...Rarity: If I might ask, what in particular made you dislike me?twow: The fact that you all were supposed to helping Rainbow relax and your antics with your wings did the opposite.Twilight: That was really it?twow: No. It was the fact that you didn’t notice that you were causing Rainbow to freak out. Granted, it did end up helping her perform her Rainboom but I couldn’t get over that for the longest time.Rarity: I was very remorseful about my actions. It was wrong of me to focus on myself and forget about Rainbow Dash.twow: I don’t want you to bring up your feelings about it again. Even though, I should have looked past that initial time I saw you..Rarity: What do you think of me now?twow: Well, I don’t hate you. Sometimes you can grate on my nerves, but for the most part I get over it and look at the brighter side of you.Twilight: And?twow: Well, she’s generous, friendly and I know she has a good heart. Truthfully, I like you a lot Rarity. Far more then when I first saw you.Rarity: Well, thank you.twow: Yeah. Glad I got that off my chest.Twilight: That reminds me...*BUZZ*All: We’ve got story sign!

Earlier this morning, Rarity's butt had been as smooth and white as the pegasus-driven snow. When she looked at it now, several small pustules had formed on her left butt cheek. The bumps were slightly pinkish and extremely itchy.Twilight and Rarity: EW.twow: I really don’t want to understand what happened here."Pimples on my bum?!" Rarity said, horrified, "Of all the worst things that could happen, this is the worst possible thing!"twow: And cue obligatory catch phase.Rarity: I don’t say it that much!twow: Please. You said it THREE TIMES in one episode.Rarity scratched at her butt blemishes in an effort to alleviate the burning, itching sensation. As she scraped her nails against the pimples, they began to ooze a sticky, white liquid. Rarity felt as though she had dipped her fingertips in honey. Her left butt cheek was soon glazed in the greasy butt pimple secretion.Twilight: I’ve read about many diseases, and I’ve never even HEARD about this!Rarity: Would you want to? This is horrible!Growing more concerned by the second, Rarity pulled her hand away and washed it thoroughly with soap and water."I don't know what's happening to me," Rarity thought, "but I can't stay at school like this!"Rarity pulled her panties back up. She could feel the fabric sticking to her ass as her underwear soaked up some of the viscus zit slime.twow: So it’s kinda like glue?Rarity: Glue is coming out of my behind?!twow: Well, I guess you could use it for good purposes?Twilight: Like WHAT?twow: Glue! (smacked by both mares)Bolting out of the bathroom, Rarity was determined to head for home and apply some sanitizing moisturizer to her itching ass. Her mind was filled with a constant need to scratch, but that would have to wait until she got home.twow: You could always smack it.Rarity: TWOW!Twilight: Really, twow?twow: I was being serious! Hitting a itching area is better than scratching it!On her way down the hall, Rarity saw an earth pony filly who was arriving late for class.She wore sneakers and dark blue jeans with torn knees. Her dark pink t-shirt was covered by her open, plum-colored sleeveless vest. Decorative buttons were pinned to the black and white checkered neckerchief she wore around her neck. The filly's pink, frizzy mane had clips to keep it in place and she wore several bracelets on her right wrist.Rarity blinked when they made eye contact.Twilight: Cheerilee looks rather nice.twow: “Hey Cheerilee, Cheerilee, I think I’m in love with you...”Rarity: I continue to question your sanity."H... hi, Cheerilee," Rarity said, sweating. Cheerilee smiled, flashing Rarity with her braces."Hey, Rarity," Cheerilee said, beaming, "You'd better follow me to class. I'd, like, hate for us to both get detention and miss the awesome pool party."Rarity fidgeted on the spot, due to the constant itching sensation. If Cheerilee noticed that her friend was acting peculiar, she didn't say anything.twow: Why not? If my friend was hopping around like a Mexican jumping bean, I’d bring it up.Twilight: Maybe she was hiding it very well?twow: I severely doubt that."About the pool party," Rarity said, "I'm afraid I won't be able to make it." Cheerilee looked crestfallen."Oh, that's too bad," she said as Rarity walked her to class, "Is everything, like, alright?""Yeah," Rarity said, "My parents are just forcing me to stay home tonight and watch my sister while they go on a date."twow: Still liked my explanation better.Twilight: Let it go.When Cheerilee was looking the other direction, Rarity took a moment to covertly scratch her aching ass through her panties. She pulled her hand away just as Cheerilee turned back to look at her."Bummer," Cheerilee said, "Are your parents, like, too cheap to hire a babysitter, or some junk?"Rarity: “Of course not. I just forgot that my parents do not go back on decisions.”twow: Them be parents for ya."I offered to pay for one myself," Rarity said, "They said it's not about the money. They wanted me to learn some responsibility." Rarity made air quotes when she said 'responsibility.'"They're crazy," Cheerilee said, "You're the most responsible filly I know! My mom thinks so, too. I can have her, like, vouch for you, if you want."Twilight: I can see that. Rarity is quite the responsible one.Rarity: Thank you Twilight."Thanks," Rarity said smiling, "but it's not just babysitting. My mother also said I'm grounded until I clean my room.""Oh," Cheerilee said, "Well, I can't help you there. I hate cleaning."twow: Doesn’t she have to pick up a classroom everyday?Twilight: Not if her students do it.twow: What about HER stuff in the classroom? Teachers can be messy also.Rarity: I believe you both forgot that we are teenagers in this."Don't worry," Rarity said. She was about to pat Cheerilee on the back, when she noticed that a pink blister, like the ones on her ass, had now formed on her left index finger.Rarity stopped in the hallway and stared horrified at her hand. Her finger started itching. Whatever she had on her ass was contagious... and spreading.Rarity: What in Equestria do I HAVE?!Twilight: I have no idea, but I will be looking into if that really exists.twow: I’m trying to figure out what caused it to happen in the first place.Cheerilee turned to look at her friend. Rarity quickly hid her arms behind her back with an embarrassed look on her face."Coming to class?" Cheerilee asked. Rarity shook her head sadly.twow: “Just another day, just another disease.”"I'm not feeling well," Rarity said, folding her arms to prevent Cheerilee from accidentally touching her hand, "Tell the teacher I went home sick." Rarity ran down the hall and left Cheerilee standing outside their classroom, looking concerned."I'm sure it's nothing serious," Rarity thought as she walked home, "It's probably just an allergic reaction to some cheap fabric, or something. All I need is a little disinfecting moisturizer and I'll be right as rain."twow: Because allergic reactions cause you to secrete white stuff. Okay.Rarity: (gags)Twilight: I don’t know if I want this to be real so I can study this.twow: Seeing as how this is going, you don’t.Not wanting to spread the disease, Rarity kept her hands in the pockets of her trench coat and refused to scratch her itching ass. The pain was agonizing.Twilight: I HATE itching!Rarity: As do I. Magnum had already left for work and Pearl had taken Sweetie Belle into town with her to go grocery shopping. Rarity came home to an empty house, which was just as well. She didn't want her parents to worry about her.twow: Wouldn’t you WANT to tell them that you have a strange disease?!Rarity: I can understand. She doesn’t want them to cancel their date.twow: I see that, but she’s got this weird thing happening to her! I would run to my parents if that happened to me.Rarity took off her trench coat and beret and set them on the coat rack in the foyer. She then ran up to her bedroom and took off the rest of her clothes. She pulled her grey dress off and set it on her bed. She took of her pink panties, which were now soaked with the sticky zit secretions, and threw them in the trash.Twilight: That is...messed up.Rarity: I hope those weren’t my favorite panties...what am I saying?!twow: Great! You’re understanding the riff!After taking off her bra, a very scared and very nude Rarity lifted her tail and stared at her ass in the mirror.twow: Kinky? (smacked by both mares)Her heart skipped a beat. The pimples on her butt had gotten larger. Upon closer examination, Rarity could tell that the glistening wet pustules had holes that were leaking a sticky, creamy substance."Gross gross gross gross gross!" Rarity said. She felt as though she was going to throw up.twow: I take that back. That is sick as all hell.Rarity: I don’t suppose you have a trash can to throw up in?twow: Open up the top of the black hole gun. Puke all you want."Even if I were allowed to attend Cheerilee's pool party, I couldn't go looking like this!" Rarity said, despondently, "My new fashionable two-piece bikini is out of the question."Twilight: Obviously! Can you IMAGINE what would happen if ponies saw that?twow: Probably a lot of what Rarity is doing right now.Rarity looked at her left hand, which now had several pink pimples on her index finger. Each one had a tiny hole in the center which was secreting more sticky fluid."I need to tell my parents about this," Rarity thought, "Or maybe I should just head to the hospital!"Rarity: Yes. I would have headed to the hospital.twow: I have a feeling that it wouldn’t help.Levitating a tube of exfoliating moisturizer with her magic, Rarity squeezed some of the healing cream onto her blistered finger.Rarity reasoned that if her finger was already infected, she might as well use it to apply the moisturizer to her other infected area.Twilight: I see this backfiring.twow: Seeing as how she touched her ass with that finger, and that finger became infected, I agree with you.Rarity rubbed the lotion against her bumpy butt boils. She gave a sigh of relief as this contact allowed her to scratch her itching butt. Her manicured fingernails scraped against the surface of her rear, as more secretions gushed from the holes. The more she rubbed the blemishes, the more sticky pus seeped out of them. Rarity started to cry.Rarity: I probably would have begun to cry. twow: That is scary as all hell. I don’t blame you."Oh, Celestia," Rarity said, as she kept scratching, "What's happening to me?"Twilight: I wish I knew.The itching sensation grew worse, which compelled her to scratch more vigorously. Rarity's left hand was sopping wet as she raked her fingernails across her itching ass. The lotion didn't seem to have any effect on the size or shape of the boils. If anything, rubbing the lotion on made the holes release even more pus.twow: Then stop doing that!Twilight: Actually, scratching your itches is harder to stop than you would think.Even though the exfoliating cream wasn't working, Rarity didn't want to pull her hand away. The harder she scratched, the better she felt. This was more than the pleasure derived from soothing an itch. Feelings of sexual gratification coursed through her body from the constant scratching.All:...What.twow: No really. WHAT.Rarity: Am...am I feeling satisfied by this?!Twilight: I..I..Itwow: Don’t think about it Twilight! It’ll break your brain!"Oh my!" Rarity said, blushing, "This feels... unnaturally pleasant. Even if it is icky."Rarity's left hand cupped her blistered butt cheek. She rubbed her palm against her ass like it was a magic lamp. Her long, slender fingers clawed at her rear. Her hand was quickly coated in the white cream oozing from the tiny holes.twow: I really don’t want to think about what that white stuff is.Twilight: I have a thought, and it isn’t pleasant.Rarity's mind was becoming lost as she ventured deeper into a jungle of unknown pleasures. Desiring more potent stimulation, Rarity circled her middle finger around one of the larger orifices in her butt cheek. The bigger the hole, the more stimulation she felt. Rimming her open sore caused more pus to dribble out and sent chills up Rarity's spine.twow: Seems like a rather messy way to pleasure yourself.Rarity: Wouldn’t it be messy anyway?twow: Don’t you already know that?Rarity: Moving on.Without stopping to think about what she was doing, Rarity pressed her middle finger against the opening of one of the holes. It was tight, but with enough wiggling, Rarity managed to stick her finger inside her butt cheek.twow: That is something that should never be said."Wah hah hah hah!" Rarity screamed in delight, "I... I can't believe something so uncouth could feel this good!"twow: That’s masterbating in general. It’s not couth.Twilight: I think the fact that you do it in private is proof enough of that.Rarity stuck her finger deeper into the hole until it bottomed out. After wiggling it around inside herself for a moment, Rarity slowly pulled her finger out. There was no flesh or blood visible. The holes in her butt seemed to each have their own little pockets, which were separate from the rest of her insides. Each hole acted like the fingers on a glove.Rarity: So, it was sucking my fingers inside?twow: That would make the holes act like mini vacuums. Ew.Rarity repeated this motion of pulling her finger in and out several times. Each motion was accompanied by more cream seeping out of the boil and sending more pleasure throughout Rarity's body."Mmm," Rarity moaned, "Harder... Need more..."twow: “I need more fingers!” (smacked by Rarity)Twilight: At this rate, her fingers aren’t gonna be enough.When Rarity became used to the sensation of pleasuring one hole, she upped the ante by inserting her ring finger into another pus-filled hole. White cream oozed from the holes as Rarity moved her fingers in and out.Grabbing her blistered butt cheek like a bowling ball, Rarity inserted her thumb inside another hole. She flexed and rubbed her fingers and thumb over and inside the sticky holes.twow: Alliteration for the loss.Twilight: I will give this author credit, he does know how to use details.Rarity: Sadly, we have to suffer by seeing this picture in our heads.twow: That’s the POINT of details.Choosing two more holes, Rarity inserted her pinkie and index fingers, respectively. When every digit on her left hand was knuckle-deep inside a hole, Rarity began wiggling her fingers. Her hand was coated in a thin film of the milky secretions from her ass pimples.Twilight: Wouldn’t that be getting everywhere by now?twow: You wouldn’t be able to see it on her ass. Pure white, remember?Rarity: That was until I contracted this disease. Rarity had already had "the talk" with her parents. When her mother was pregnant with Sweetie Belle, Rarity sat with her parents as they explained where foals came from.twow: “Now Rarity, when you’re a teenager...Twilight: “You might contract an illness that causes you to masterbate with holes on your body.”Rarity: I fail to see the humor in this.twow: Humor is the only thing that’s keeping me going.Rarity had taken sex ed. She knew the mechanics of natural mammalian reproduction. She had even masturbated on occasion, but none of her "private times" could compare to the pleasure she felt right now.twow: You heard it here folks. Shoving your finger into holes INTO your ass is more pleasuring than regular masterbating.Rarity: If the world ever comes to that, I don’t know if I’ll want to live anymore. Even though Rarity was fully aroused, she hadn't considered touching her vagina.twow: That’s how you KNOW you’re doing well.Rarity and Twilight: TWOW! She was getting all the stimulation she could ever want from her butt. After sticking her fingers inside her ass acne, Rarity felt the biggest orgasm of her life welling up within her."This is unbelievable!" Rarity said, "I'm... I'm cumming!"Twilight: I...HOW.Rarity: I brought myself to orgasm by inserting my fingers into my behind...twow: Because we didn’t need logic anyway.Rarity screamed in ecstasy as her pussy dripped mare ejaculate onto the ground. Her orgasm also caused more milky white fluid to shoot out of her pimples. Rarity pulled her fingers out of her soggy butt cheek as goo continued to ooze from the holes in her hand.twow: No amount of toilet paper is gonna clean THAT up.With her mind and body having surrendered themselves to physical pleasure, Rarity wasn't thinking clearly. Poor judgement and morbid curiosity may have been what prompted Rarity to move her infected hand closer to her lips. She watched with perverse fascination as sticky pus secreted from the holes in her fingers and dripped down her hands.Rarity: WHAT?twow: Jams fingers in ass, decides to taste it.Twilight: Seems legit?twow: DOESN’T IT THOUGH?!Curious as to what it tasted like, Rarity stuck her fingers into her mouth and sucked on the goo flowing out of them."Mmmm," Rarity said, clearly pleased, "It tastes just like marshmallow cream."Twilight: I don’t think even the princesses could figure that one out.Rarity: As far as I know, I have blood in my body, not marshmallow cream.twow: Wonder if that could be used for sandwiches.It was several hours later before Pearl returned home with the groceries. After setting Sweetie Belle down in her play pen, Pearl turned to go unload the minivan. She stopped when she saw Rarity's coat and beret hanging in the foyer."I guess Rarity got home early from school," Pearl thought. She walked upstairs to speak to her daughter.twow: Who all thinks this is gonna end well?(Both mares raise their hooves)twow: I’ve taught you well."Rare bear?" Pearl said as she knocked on Rarity's bedroom door, "Are you in there?"There was no answer.Rarity: Why didn’t she walk in?Twilight: She respects your privacy?twow: I see your point Rarity. My parents would just walk the fuck in.Rarity's body was covered in sweat. More holes had appeared on her body, oozing slime from every part of herself that she touched. Dozens of pus-filled holes appeared around her breasts and on her nipples. Her vaginal walls were lined with boils that discharged white sticky cream. Slimy pimples covered her pussy and clitoris. She had shoved her fingers up her asshole which created more squirting holes within her rectum.twow: So she looks like Bubble Wrap.Twilight: Okay twow. Go in the corner.twow: But...Twilight: CORNER.Both of her slimy hands were covered in pimples from her wrists to her fingertips. The goo flowing from her holes seemed to have a reaction to the more sensitive parts of her body. Her pussy was red and swollen and her puffy teats lactated milky marshmallow cream.Rarity: That is horrid!twow: And the prize for understatement of the year goes to...Rarity!Rarity breathed heavily as she stood in front of the mirror and stared at herself. The white goo had made her breasts and vagina larger than normal and her most gropeable areas were covered in sticky blemishes.Twilight: Wait. The white stuff made her grow?twow: I can’t begin to understand that.Rarity grabbed her right nipple with her right hand. Her swollen teat was now two inches long and as wide as two of her fingers. Rarity squeezed on her swollen nipple, which sent white cream squirting from her teat and seeping out of the dozen holes on her breast.twow: Have fun feeding your foal with THAT.Rarity: That is horrible! My child wouldn’t get the nutrition it needs!twow: It would get one hell of a sugar rush.With her left hand, Rarity lowered it between her legs and pulled back her boil-covered clitoral hood. The filly's clit had also been engorged well beyond its normal size. It was an inch long and looked like the top of a mushroom. Rarity moaned as she rubbed her clit. The stimulation caused more goo to spill from the holes around her crotch.twow: Sweet. I needed more nightmare fuel."It feels so good," Rarity said, "More! I need more!"Pearl opened the door and looked inside her daughter's room. Rarity's grey dress was on the bed and the light in her bathroom was on."Rarity?" Pearl asked, "Are you alright?"Rarity: Does it LOOK like I’m alright?!Twilight: She can’t see you yet.twow: And considering what she would do if she did, she won’t.Rarity stopped masturbating when she heard her mother's voice. Her standing frame started shaking immediately from withdrawals when she stopped pleasuring herself.Rarity: What is this?Twilight: You somehow got yourself addicted to masterbating.Rarity: But...how?twow: It’s like a drug. The euphoric feeling rushes through your brain, and you need more and more.Rarity's entire body itched now. She felt as though she was being eaten alive by fire ants. Unable to live without constantly stimulating her holes, Rarity resumed squeezing her swollen clit as she spoke to Pearl.twow: You would NOT be to speak clearly while doing that.Rarity: Why not?twow: Brain overload."I... I'm fine, mother," Rarity said, breathlessly, "I'll start cleaning up my room in a little bit. Just let me know when you and father leave for your date."Several oozing pimples had formed around Rarity's mouth. She stimulated them by licking at the blemishes with her tongue.Twilight: How is she speaking? Not only is she trying to stimulate herself, she’s also gonna be suffering by the holes she ISN’T touching.Rarity: I would rather not know."That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about" Pearl asked, "Your father and I are sorry for how we left things this morning. We can compromise if you really have your heart set on going to that pool party."twow: OF COURSE.Twilight: What is it?twow: I hate when this happens in stories! Her parents said that she can go to the party, but as we all know, SHE’S NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO!Rarity: Wow. You are quite upset over this.twow: (twitch)Twilight: Hey look! Story!There was a pause before Rarity spoke, as though she were considering her mother's words carefully. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her skin was coated in a thin film of sweat and sticky secretions. Her breasts, vagina and ass were all puffy and swollen from the boils covering those areas. She turned to the side and stared at her hips.Twilight: You do know that you literally can’t go, right?Rarity: We all do. Hence why our human friend is losing his mind.Rarity watched as white goo dribbled out of several holes that had appeared within her cutie mark. Rarity's lip started to quiver. She wasn't sad because she couldn't go to the party like this. Rarity was sad because she didn't want to go to the party anymore.twow: Course not. I mean, when you have the ability to pleasure yourself at all times, why would you want to go to a party?Rarity: It would be better than staying in my room?Twilight: It would be better than having a bunch of holes in your body?twow: That question wasn’t supposed to be answered.When compared to the pleasure she received from fingering her holes, everything else seemed less important by comparison. Eating... Sleeping... These were all distractions that got in the way of her next mind-blowing orgasm.Rarity: Am I going to completely lose my social life?Twilight: It’s kind of unavoidable if all you can think about is the next time you’re going to orgasm.Rarity had lost track of how many times she had managed to climax within the last couple of hours, but if the puddle of feminine fluids at her hooves was any indication, she had cum at least a dozen times.twow:...Damn.Rarity: Why did you...twow: No, I’m being serious. That is a lot."Well?" Pearl asked, "What do you say? We can get somepony to babysit Sweetie Belle and you can go to your pool party with your friends, provided that you promise to clean your room this weekend."Twilight: I just feel awful that she can’t go now.twow: She can! It just won’t end well.Under normal circumstances, Rarity would've leapt at the chance, but as it stood now, all she cared about was rubbing her sticky, wet holes.twow: Damn, that is messed UP.Rarity: I developed the addiction in less than a few hours.twow: And you got it ROUGH."That's not necessary," Rarity said, "You were right, mother. I was being selfish."Pearl was slightly taken aback."Are you sure you're okay with missing the party?" Pearl asked."I'm sure," Rarity said, "You and father enjoy your date while I clean my room. I'll stay here and watch over Sweetie Hole, I mean Sweetie Belle."twow: Bull. Calling it for two reasons.Twilight: And those are?twow: One, her parents know how much she wanted to go. She would have jumped at that chance in their eyes. And two, I’m sure that her mother would have questioned her choice of words when she was talking about Sweetie Belle.Rarity blushed at the slip-of-the-tongue. And speaking of tongues...Her tongue now had its own blisters, which she received after licking her pimpled lips. Rarity rubbed her tongue against the roof of her mouth to satisfy the itching urge.Twilight: Don’t do that! Then your mouth will have the blisters!twow: Truthfully, her mouth was screwed when she licked her lips.Pearl left Rarity's room, feeling thoroughly bewildered."I used to be a teenager," Pearl thought as she walked down the stairs, "so why can't I figure them out today?"Rarity: Because you aren’t trying hard enough?twow: Nice one.Once her mother had gone, Rarity resumed pleasuring herself at an increased rate of speed. Switching up the placement of her hands, Rarity placed her left hand on the side of her left tit. Finding several large holes, Rarity plugged them with her fingers. She stuck her index finger inside her swollen milk duct and the rest in dripping holes along the side of her breast.twow: It’s getting to the point that I really don’t know what to say anymore.Rarity: How is that?twow: Its the same thing we’ve been seeing. The shock value is starting to diminish.Twilight: I bet it’s going to shoot back up soon.Rarity moved her right hand over her vagina and stuck her fingers in various holes surrounding her crotch. Her index and ring fingers became inserted into her clitoral hood, while her middle finger was inserted directly into a large hole in her clitoris. White, sticky goo flowed from dozens of holes as she wiggled her fingers inside herself.twow: Wait.Twilight: What?twow: Does..does her CLIT have holes in it?!Rarity: I believe  that was said.twow: Fucking EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW."Just a few more," Rarity said to herself while gasping for breath, "Just a few more orgasms and I'll stop to clean my room. I promise."twow: “Just one more time...”Twilight: She sounds like a addict.twow: That’s because she IS one.Rarity wiggled her hand as though her clit was a finger puppet. She leaned over the sink as she stared at her reflection. Her eyes were unfocused. Her face was flushed. Her tongue was constantly licking her lips as white cream trickled down her chin.twow: Okay, I understand that she’s addicted to orgasming. But here’s the thing. Doing that over and over takes energy. How does she still have the stamina to continue?Rarity: I certainly don’t know. I would have long passed out by now."Can't stop," Rarity said, "Feels too good. Feels like... losing my mind."Rarity groaned as she forced another sexual climax to the surface."If I don't stop soon," Rarity said, "I'll go mad!"Twilight: I’m surprised she hasn’t yet.Having lost any semblance of bodily restraint, Rarity came while shitting herself. She stood convulsing as logs of excrement slid out of her ass. This only served to heighten her current orgasm, as the blisters lining her anal walls were all stimulated from the smelly excrement leaving her body.Rarity: What.twow: I don’t know if I want to question how that works.Rarity: WHAT.Twilight: Well, the sides of her behind probably have holes.Rarity: WHAT.twow: That makes sense how she orgasimed from that.Rarity: WHAT.Twilight: So, would that be the same if she had to pee?Rarity: WHAT?!twow: Well, she’s broken.A couple hours later, Magnum came home from work. His wife hadn't spoken with their daughter since she had gotten home. Pearl relayed Rarity's wishes to her husband."She'd rather clean her room than go to a party?" Magnum said, "That doesn't sound like my girl. She must be sick, or something."twow: That’s more like it! He’s actually using his head!Twilight: But, wouldn’t it be better if he didn’t?twow: Right...Magnum walked up the stairs towards Rarity's room.Rarity had grown tired of standing in her bathroom and took several shaky steps until she collapsed onto her bed. Her bathroom floor was covered in her feminine jizz, the white cream which poured from her holes and a pile of her own shit.twow: That’s...really gross. Twilight: Really, really gross.Rarity: Positively disgusting.Pinkie (from TV): Ew!As she lay on her bed, Rarity didn't care if she secreted ooze onto her sheets, or her grey dress. All that mattered now was producing a steady flow of orgasms to mitigate the pain of her constantly itching body.Twilight: It’s MORE than a addiction!Rarity: Whatever do you mean?Twilight: The way you react. At this point, you wouldn’t be able to live if you aren’t constantly stimulating the holes!twow: Fate worse than death right there.Several of the holes around her pussy and tits were gaping from the extreme levels of stimulation. Her nipples and clit had also continued to swell.twow: At this rate, she’s gonna look like a bloody balloon.Rarity's areola's were covered in several large holes; most of which were oozing white cream. Each of her nipples were now three inches long and as big around as an averaged-sized pickle.Rarity: That’s...detailed.Twilight: And disturbing.twow: Could you use them for sandwiches? (bucked by both mares.) Her breasts heaved every time Rarity drew breath, which caused her erogenous nipples to flop about.Rarity: If you even THINK about saying..twow: Mouth shut.Rarity rubbed her right hand over her bumpy inner thigh. When she lifted it up, there was a thick coating of sticky cream on her fingers, which she greedily licked off. Rarity had no idea what the white goo was made out of.Twilight: Then why would you EAT it?! All she knew was that it tasted like marshmallows and it must've had some revitalizing properties. She deduced this by the fact that under normal circumstances, a pony's body would get dehydrated after this many orgasms, and yet she was able to continue unabated.Twilight: Oh. I guess that’s why.twow: Not only does it force you to continue, but your own body is making it so that you can never have a reason to stop.Rarity: I would rather not know this exists anymore.Whatever these bumps were that covered her body, they were providing her with just enough nourishment to continue masturbating indefinitely.twow: If I could somehow bottle that, I could make a fortune.Rarity: That would make people have the same thing I have!twow: Not necessarily. The cream is a result of the holes. If she made any attempt to stop stimulating her holes, she was met with a painful burning itch; which forced Rarity to perpetually pleasure herself.Twilight: Yeah. She’s in trouble.She lay on her back with her legs spread wide to allow easier access to her clit. More than fifty sticky holes surrounded Rarity's sopping vagina.twow: I’m failing to understand how she still HAS a vagina at this point. Some of the holes were still tight, while others had been loosened by inserted fingers. Some of the more regularly used holes were wide enough to fit three fingers.Rarity: Truthfully, I thought they would have been bigger.Twilight: The story did make it out that you were constantly stimulating them.Secretions from the holes caused Rarity's clit to swell beyond the constraints of nature. Her clit was now six inches long and as big around as a large pickle.Twilight: I....the...six...WHAT?!twow: Holy fuck. That is GROSS. It was also bumpy like a pickle, due to the blisters. Several of the holes on her clitoris were loose and oozing sticky cream.Rarity: My body seems content with breaking the laws of nature.Rarity grabbed her clit with her right hand and stuck her fingers inside several of the larger holes. While her body's main pleasure sensor was now the size of an average colt's cock, it was no where near as hard.twow: For obvious reasons.Twilight: I think that would be really painful if it was hard.Her clitoris flopped around as she wiggled her fingers inside it. This internal stimulation was bringing her close to another climax.Rarity: That word is starting to aggravate me.twow: I wouldn’t have such a big issue with this story if it didn’t keep reiterating the same thing.Twilight: And that would be?twow: Rarity has a hole, stimulates it, climaxes, does it again while her body gets weirder. NEXT.Rarity's heart skipped a beat when her father opened her door without knocking. She held her breath, while simultaneously holding her engorged clit. Magnum didn't poke his head into the room, so he hadn't seen his daughter's condition or her compromising position.twow: Doesn’t he smell the shit in her room?Rarity: That is horrible!twow: It’s a good point though. He might be able to save your ass.Forcing herself to find her voice, Rarity calmly addressed her father."Don't come in, father," Rarity said, while sweating nervously, "I'm busy cleaning my room and... and I want it to be a surprise."After closing the door slightly, Magnum spoke to Rarity.Twilight: “I’m sorry that we overreacted about you being a teenager.”"Rari Berry," Magnum said, "I don't want you to feel guilty about your messy room. I know how much you were looking forward to this pool party thing. How about you take a break from cleaning and put on your new swimsuit. I can drive you over to Cheerilee's house and you can play with your friends."Rarity: Oh that’d be great. OH WAIT I’M COVERED IN HOLES.Twilight: Calm down Rarity!Rarity: I will NOT.twow: It’s almost over?The part of Rarity's brain that retained a semblance of her former desires was begging to be heard. She wanted to stop this chronic, unnatural masturbation. She wished that all of these new holes would disappear and allow her to wear her the bathing suit she made. She wanted to call out for her father to save her, but the words died in her mouth.All: SCREAM!Some very real, primal and dangerous part of her brain was in control and was determined to continue this spiral of baser pleasures for as long as possible.twow: Oh, no...Rarity: What is it?twow: I beileve that the constant masterbation gave you another mindset.Rarity: The mindset of...twow: Think about it for a second."No, thank you," Rarity said, as her mind rejected the words her body felt compelled to utter, "I changed my mind. I don't want to go. You and mother go on your date. I'll watch Sweetie Belle and clean my room. You'll be so proud of me when you get back."Twilight: No. No parent will just accept a COMPLETE turn around if their child was adamant about wanting to do something and is given permission.twow: Unless they're really dense.Rarity began to really panic now. Up until this point, she had made all the decisions. Rarity was desperate for anything to sooth the burning itch. Her desire for relief allowed her to be tempted by the promise of perpetual pleasure. She was allowed to be in control, until she desired to deviate from the course of continuous climaxes. At that point, some other... force took control. Her body produced those words without her thinking them.twow: So, she’s allowed to have her own thoughts, as long as she’s masterbating?Rarity: That seems to be the case."Is there... another consciousness in here with me?" Rarity thought, terrified, "Why can't I speak? Help! Somepony save me! Save me!"Magnum smiled as prepared to close the door.twow: She’s a slave to her own body.Rarity: I...twow: (hugs Rarity)Twilight: As soon as she stops, she’s unable to use her mind. That’s...interestingly bad."I'm always proud of you, my little pony princess," Magnum said, "but if you're sure that's what you want, then that's what we'll do. Your mother and I are going out to eat now, but we'll be back later tonight."twow: WHY DID NEITHER OF THEM GO INSIDE?!Rarity: Privacy, although I wished they had invaded it.Magnum closed the door, leaving his daughter on her bed. Naked. Sweaty. Oozing slime from hundreds of holes. Exerting all her willpower, Rarity forced some words out of her mouth."Come back," Rarity said, in a quiet squeak of a voice, "Come back, daddy, please. Don't leave me. I'm scared."twow: Dude! Go in there!Magnum wasn't able to hear her, as Rarity couldn't muster up the energy to scream for help."Help me," Rarity whispered to nopony, "Help me."Twilight: Don’t worry Rarity. That’s not going to happen to you.twow: As SOON as we are finished here, I’m going to invent a cure for that.Rarity: How can you invent a cure for something that doesn’t exist?twow: The drive to make sure that none of you suffer like this.A tear formed and slid down her right cheek. Without thinking, Rarity rubbed her eye with her hand to wipe away her tears.twow: THAT was a bad idea.The burning sensation that covered Rarity's body was growing worse. She had to constantly grope and fondle her pussy and tits to reduce the painful itching. Some of the gaping pimple holes had become too loose for her fingers to pleasure.Twilight: What’s inside of the holes?Rarity: Ew.Twilight: No, I’m wondering if you can look inside them and see anything."I can't stimulate these sagging holes with my sticky hands," Rarity thought, "If I want to relieve this burning itch, I need to stretch my holes with something bigger."twow: One of the few times I will keep my thoughts to myself.It was nearly midnight when Pearl and Magnum returned home. The house was completely dark, as though no one turned on any lights once night fell. Pearl stepped inside and illuminated the immediate area with her horn to look around.Rarity: Why didn’t she just turn the light on?twow: Maybe it was too far away?Rarity: We have magic. She could have gripped it and flipped it on. She let out a gasp when she saw that Sweetie Belle was still in her playpen. It was as though Rarity had never left her room after they went to dinner.Twilight: I know why, and I don’t want to think about it.Pearl put her hand to her lips as she made a silent gasp. Sweetie Belle was asleep, but she had been crying. Her face was red and her cheeks were stained with tears. Rarity never came downstairs. She never gave her sister a bottle. She never checked on her when she was crying. She never put her to bed. Rarity just left Sweetie Belle in her playpen until she cried herself to sleep.Rarity: If I had ever done that, my mother would have sent me to Tartarus.twow: I kinda DID do that once. That wasn’t fun.Twilight: I’m kinda glad that I’m the youngest.Pearl's anger towards her elder daughter had reached new heights.Twilight: Are we going by natural height? twow: “To the MOON!”Rarity: A scale of 1 to 10?twow: “It’s over 9000!”"What the holy Tartarus is going on around here?" Pearl asked herself as she marched up to Rarity's room, "That filly's been acting strange all afternoon and I'm gonna' find out why."twow: “Shut your FACE, Grandma!”Twilight: ...what?twow: Sorry.Magnum lifted Sweetie Belle out of her playpen and slowly carried her sleeping frame upstairs.Pearl opened Rarity's door and was ready to ground her for a month.twow: “THREE YEARS DUNGEON!”Like the rest of the house, Rarity's room was dark. All Pearl could make out was a lumpy pile on the ground, which was illuminated by moonlight shining in through the window. Pearl didn't see Rarity anywhere.Rarity: Wasn’t my bathroom light on?Twilight: I think so.A sudden fear entered Pearl's mind. What if Rarity had been foalnapped? Before she had time to fully consider this option though, the lump on the floor started to stir.Pearl increased the brightness of her horn illumination as she tried to comprehend what she was seeing.Rarity: Once again, just turn the light on.twow: Please. If I had the ability to create light from my body, I’d be doing that ALL the time.What Pearl had mistaken for a pile of clutter was, in actuality, a body stuffed with clutter. It was only when the pony raised her head that Pearl truly realized, to her horror, what she was seeing.twow: Rarity and Twilight. Are you two prepared?Twilight: I think?Rarity: I have the black hole gun right here.twow: Good, because we aren’t stopping for anything.Rarity was lying prostrate on the ground. She turned her head and started at her mother with her remaining good eye. After touching her right eye with her hand, Rarity soon lost the ability to see out of it. Her eye began to produce pus-filled boils. She could no longer move her right eye, which was now filled with blood. Its pupil was pointing down towards the ground as white cream oozed from several boils on the eye's surface.Twilight; I think her EYE itself has a hole in it!twow: When you think about it like that, it’s another hole she can use to pleasure herself.Twilight: In her eye?!twow: She can’t see out of it anymore.Twilight: Are you holding up okay?Rarity: Lets...continue...Rarity's entire body, including her horn, was covered in pimples, blisters and boils, which all opened up into tiny, cream-oozing holes. Pearl's eyes went wide and the color drained from her pink face as she stared in disbelief at the twitching mass that she once recognized as her daughter.twow: Oh this is gonna be messed up.In her desire to stop the mad itching, Rarity had shoved whatever she could find into her gooey orifices. Things had been inserted into the holes in her back, her shoulders, her neck, her arms, her legs, her tits, her ass and her twat. She looked like a large white pincushion, that was laboring to breathe.All: ...Pinkie: (from TV) It got really quiet over there!twow: Pinkie, shhhhh.Dozens of pencils, pens, spools of thread and rolled up parchment had been shoved inside her. Some of her larger holes were stuffed with small roles of fabric.twow: Fabric needs to be DRY if you wanna use it.Rarity: (voice breaking) ...what...Twilight: twow, can you handle this part?twow: Of course. Make the human do the work. Twilight: twow...twow: I’m joking. I got this part.A hair brush had been inserted by the handle into her left butt cheek.twow: Normally you don’t need to brush your ass. A hole in her ankle was being stretched out by a calculator.twow: Doin’ calculations with your ankle. Impressive. A tube of lip gloss stuck out of a tiny hole in her unicorn horn.twow: Is that the fashion now? A small flashlight had been inserted into her right shoulder.twow: If you’re flexible, that could be a handy place to put a flashlight. A closed pair of scissors stuck out of a hole in her wrist.twow: Didn’t your mother teach you to not run with scissors?After sticking all her colored pencils into various holes, Rarity took the empty metal can she used for holding pencils and shoved it up her ass. The can stretched her sphincter as the cold metal rubbed against the dozens of blisters within her anal canal.twow: That’s gotta hurt like a BITCH.Rarity: twow, if you want I...twow: No, it’s fine. You deserve this break.Three rolls of fabric were sticking out of her stretched cunt.twow: You better NOT make any dresses using that. Everything in the room that was remotely phallic-shaped was poking out of a hole.twow: That makes me wonder why she has so many objects that are phallic shaped.Rarity's toothbrush had been inserted into a hole in her cheek, with the bristles poking out. Pearl could hear the plastic toothbrush clatter around inside Rarity's mouth as she spoke.twow: That’s not gonna help in the morning when you have bad breath."Aren't you proud of me, mother?," Rarity said, as tears filled her good eye, "I cleaned my room and picked up my things."twow: (hesitating) Guys, I...Twilight: We’ll take this from here.Pearl's shriek of terror could be heard throughout the neighborhood.Rarity: Well, I highly doubted she was going to just be happy that I turned myself into a pincushion.Her sustained, horrified yell woke Sweetie Belle, who was still cradled in Magnum's arms. The fussy and tired infant started crying as Magnum ran upstairs to check on his wife.Twilight: Get a move on!Magnum sprinted to Rarity's room and turned on the light. He was too stunned by what he saw to speak. Sweetie Belle kept crying as her father held her tight.Pearl couldn't stop screaming.Rarity: I’m on the verge of screaming myself.Twilight: You’re still crying Rarity.twow: We’re done. Let’s GO.

twow: That....that was not pleasant.Twilight: I noticed something rather strange about the writing style.twow: And that would be?Twilight: The mood whiplashed. HARD.Rarity: I agree. It began with a normal day in my life.twow: And went down the drain as soon as you got that first bump on your ass. Sadly, that’s Bronystories for you.Rarity: Why does he write these? He seems like he could be a very good writer!twow: He IS a good writer. This is the kind of things that he likes to write.Twilight: I don’t follow. How does this make him a good writer?twow: Think about it Twilight. If you have a way you like to write, you do it, you get reactions from it, wouldn’t you think that’s a success?Twilight: Well yeah, but...twow: And that’s what makes him a good writer. He purposefully creates absurd scenarios. And as fucked up as they can be, I can’t sit here and say that he’s bad at it.Rarity: I guess that I understand...twow: How are you holding up, Rarity?Rarity: (taking a deep breath) That was very difficult to ready. Thank you both for helping me though that.Twilight: (hugging Rarity) What are friends for?twow: In Pinkie’s case, locking me in my lab and forcing me to riff stories.Pinkie (from TV) It’s fun T! Ya know, I should try to get that author Bronystories in here for one of his own stories!twow: Damn. That would actually be pretty awesome. Dash: (from TV) Try asking him twow. Either way, you guys are free now.(The lab doors unlock and open.)Rarity: If you will go excuse me, I need to go and give Sweetie Bell the biggest hug I’ve ever given her.twow: You’re fine. And Rarity?Rarity: Hmm?twow: Sorry about before. The whole judging you and shit.Rarity: It’s alright twow. Truthfully, I didn’t have the best impressions of you when Fallen showed me that “Starlight” story.twow: Motherfucker...Twilight: I guess I’ll be heading off as well. But twow?twow: Hmm?Twilight: About that black hole gun. Why don’t you put a dwarf star in it?twow: DUDE. You are staying here to help me with that.Pinkie: (from TV) Well, you two have fun! I’m gonna have a special guest with me next time!twow: My enthusiasm can not be contained.(Dash pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Potato ex Machina

Alright guys, time for round 2!

If you’ve been keeping up on my masochistic bets with Fallen Prime, you’ll know that I have four fanfics that he gave me to riff. And it’s time for the second one!

Today’s fic is called Potato ex Machina. Apparently Regidar was the inspiration for this...so I’m already afraid. Seems rather harmless, right?

That is until you look at the rating and see that it’s Mature for gore. Lucky me.

Everyone, here’s Potato ex Machina...

twow: I really believe that this is going to change life as we know it.

Derpy: GUN THAT SHOOTS MUFFINS.

twow: I don’t know if Fallen’s gonna like the fact I remade his sniper so that it shoots nothing but them...

Derpy: But the muffins cook themselves, remember? You could point it at yourself and get a faceful of YUM!

twow: Derpy, do you realize how much force a sniper exerts?

Derpy: Enough to propel the muffin into your mouth?

twow: Enough to blow your head off.

Derpy: If Twilight can survive me dropping a piano on her, I think I can withstand the muffin!

twow: I swear...

Pinkie (from TV): That’s a great idea T! Next time, do it with a rake!

twow: What.

Pinkie: Just kidding! Hey, I have someone that wants to say hi!

twow: Everytime you say that...

Derpy: Who is it?

Fallen Prime: (from TV) Who indeed.

twow: Oh FUCK ME.

Fallen: Not in front of the mares!

Derpy: Hai Fallen!

Fallen: Hey, Derpy. Gotta say, you’re... you’re coping well.

Derpy: Muffins and ice cream Fallen. Muffins and ice cream.

twow: Pinkie, why is he in there? Again?

Pinkie: Do you remember what Primey said at the end of the last riff we gave you?

Derpy: Something about him having more or something like that?

Fallen: Congratulations. You may now pass Go and collect 200 dollars.

Derpy: Our currency is in bits.

twow: (facepalm) Derpy, I swear...

Fallen: At any rate, she’s right. This is in accordance with my agreement with Pinkie. I’ve got some more shit for you, though I PROMISE it’s not another “FlutterLove.”

twow: Then what IS it?

Fallen: Some trollfic I found randomly when I was bored. I just decided “fuck it” and threw it at Pinkie for you guys to riff because I’ll be damned if I have anything better to do.

twow: At least we know what’s coming up then. But aren’t we missing a pony?

Fallen: ...apparently you are. Pinkie, what gives?

Pinkie: All my friends were busy and I couldn’t trick them into going to Derpy’s.

Derpy: So, we can leave then?

Fallen: Oh, HELL no. You stay there until this shit gets sorted out.

twow: Ugh. Well, who’s in the story?

Pinkie: Oh! Oh! Primey, remember that watch I gave you?

twow: Is THAT where my TARDIS watch is? Damn it Pinkie!

Fallen: Hey, I TOLD you you weren’t keeping any TARDIS prototypes you brought in my armory!

twow: Motherfucker...I’ll be getting that from you later.

Derpy: Can’t you bring somepony in here? You do have his watch.

Fallen: I plan to. And given what I know of the story ahead, there’s really only one mare for the job.

(twow and Derpy glance at each other.)

twow: Who?

Fallen: You remember working with Lyra, right? She’s the only pony I know of who’s actually in the story, so I guess I might as well. If I can just... get this goddamn thing to function like a normal machine, I can-

twow: This is why you don’t TAKE MY SHIT.

Fallen: Not my fault you didn’t take it back with you. How does this even-

(Suddenly, Lyra Heartstrings appears in the lab.)

Fallen: ...well, that settles that.

Lyra: Whoa! What...(stops as she notices both humans, a wide grin appearing on her face.)

Derpy: Oh boy...

twow: Fallen, what’s about to happen?

Fallen: If I know Lyra, probably a minor fangasm.

twow: Oh joy.

Lyra: There’s...two humans, but one’s in Equestria. I....

Derpy: Lyra? Are you okay?

Lyra: Of course. I’m just wondering why YOU DIDN’T TELL ME A HUMAN LIVES WITH US.

twow: Probably because of that reaction.

Fallen: Lyra, you remember twow, right?

Lyra: Yes, but he lives here?! When did that happen?! WHEN?!

Derpy: He came back with me after I got lost.

twow: Well, Lyra, feel like riffing with us?

Derpy: Wait, couldn’t we just...

(The lab doors shut and lock)

Pinkie: Almost forgot!

Derpy: Never mind!

Lyra: Only if I get to ask you questions after! Lots and lots of questions!

twow: I hate you Fallen.

Fallen: Don’t be surprised if she tries to ask the thing about the sheathless penis. She tried it on me too. Get out there and riff, you crazy kids.

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

Potato ex Machina by Alamais

twow: It’s like a Deus Ex.

Derpy: With...a potato.

Lyra: Logical!

        Steven Stu yawned, and checked his privilege.

Derpy: How do you check that?

Lyra: What IS that?

twow: He checked what he was allowed to do?

  Doin' fiiine, he thought to himself.  The elevator door opened, and he slouched out into the lobby of his apartment building.

twow: How the FUCK do you slouch into a lobby?!

Lyra: Apparently humans can do that.

 He waved to the doorman, "Hey Bill," and walked outside, his breath catching in the cold, wintry Chicago air.  Another lovely day in hell.

Derpy: I love the cold!

twow: So you enjoy hell?

 Why did I move here again?  Oh right, bribe-happy politicians and lax child labor law enforcement.  He began to whistle softly.

twow: “Pop goes the weasel...”

Derpy: Just gonna ignore all that? Okay.

        He turned left, and made his way down sidewalk, to the next intersection.  He avoided the ominous puddle near the crosswalk, and was pleased as the universe bowed before him, the light changing just as he arrived.

Lyra: This guy has the powers of Princess Luna.

twow: And the only thing he did was change the light? Weak.

  He stepped into the street, and was halfway across when he heard a screeching noise.  He turned to it just in time to see a medium-sized delivery truck spinning out of control towards him.  Oh shit.

twow: I swear, if this turns out to be like “My Second Life...”

        While he could not move quickly enough to avoid it, time slowed enough for him to register the words "de Lancie's Produce" on the side of the truck.

Derpy: Wait, that was a pony pun.

twow: Yeah.

Derpy: But the beginning of the story said that he was in Chicago.

twow: It did.

Lyra: That’s a Earth city, right?

twow: Either he mixed Earth and Equestria together, or something got messed up in translation.

  He squinted his eyes as the truck spun entirely around on some black ice, and then...stopped.  It was about ten inches away from him.

twow: How did it just STOP SHORT ON ICE.

Derpy: I...don’t know?

  He sighed, and got ready to run around and scream at the driver, when he heard a CRACK, and the doors of the truck swung open, the left one giving Steve's temple a firm love tap along the way.

Lyra: Ouch. He’s gonna be fine, right?

twow: Lyra, the temple is a weak spot. I’ll be surprised if he didn’t die from that.

        Stunned, he barely felt himself fall to the ground, face down.  Bwuhhh...

Derpy; Hey! Use better language!

Lyra: Wait, you UNDERSTOOD that?

Derpy: Of course!

twow: Lyra, PLEASE don’t question it.

 Then he barely noticed numerous fast, small, repetitive thwacks to his back.  He did vaguely recognize that the world was going away, his direct vision blocked out by numerous small, oblong brown objects.

twow: That’s a lot of dicks.

Derpy: TWOW!

Lyra: Oh, that reminds me.

Derpy: MOVING ON.

  Everything slowly faded to black.

twow: As opposed to turning to white?

Lyra: Or rainbow?

Derpy: Or muffin?

        ***

        Steve woke slowly, pain shooting through his head.  Jesus Christ, I feel like I got hit by a...hmm.

Derpy: Aw, those really hurt.

twow: What, a hmm?

Derpy: Yeah.

twow: What the fuck is a hmm?!

Lyra: You don’t wanna know.

twow: You two hate me, don’t you?

 He managed to drag himself into a sitting position.  Why the fuck hasn't anyone helped me?  He looked around, and realized he wasn't in the street.

Lyra: Someone helped you.

twow: Something’s lacking...Oh! There’s a strange absence of quotation marks!

        Two walls were parallel to either side, about two meters apart, with a dirt path between.  What the hell?  I get hit by a truck and someone throws me into an alleyway?

twow: He has a point. That makes no sense.

Lyra: Humans are always in a hurry. Maybe they didn’t notice?

twow: The guy driving the truck SHOULD have noticed.

  He crawled over and leaned against one of the walls, trying to clear his head.  I knew the city was bad, but shit.

Derpy: It’s pretty bad when you get slammed by a truck and tossed aside.

  Bracing a hand against the wall, he managed to get himself standing, and stumbled towards the end of the alley.

Lyra: How did nothing get broken?

twow: We humans are resistant?

        He was about halfway there, when he heard someone approaching.  He paused to see who it was, and two...horses?! meandered by, chatting with each other.

twow: We didn’t want that capital letter there anyway.

  What.  He very slowly made his way closer to the end of his shelter, staying in the shade, and saw more horses.  No, they're too small.  Ponies.

Derpy: How do you confuse us for horses?

twow: Surprisingly, not a lot of effort is needed.

  The thought ground around in his head for a moment.  Talking...ponies.  He glared around a bit more.  Talking...pastel...ponies.  A set of trollish neurons in his brain finally fired off, and he remembered.  No.  Fuck no.

Lyra: YES.

twow: I reallllly don’t wanna sit next to her anymore.

        Stumbling backwards, he returned to the peace of his alley.  What the hell.  He tried to rationalize it, come up with something else, but the pounding in his head and pain throughout his body made him give up.  I must be dead.  And the afterlife is fucking My Little Pony? Shitfuckcockballs...

Lyra: What’s so bad about our world?

twow: The limits of some people.

Derpy: This guy and his mouth I swear...

        He turned away, dragging himself the other way down the alley.  I can't handle that shit.

twow: “Beings that might be able to help me? Yeah, FUCK that.”

Lyra: “No wait! I have hugs!”

 He emerged into a small courtyard adjacent to a tiny wooded area.  It looked like the edge of town, as he could see empty fields and an apple orchard in the distance.  I should buy some apples, he thought woozily, but then he collapsed, the pain overtaking him.  Feels like I'm going to implode!

Derpy: He’s in a bunch of pain, but thinks of buying apples.

twow: When I’m in pain, I think about chocolate chips.

        He looked down at his hands, and noticed a silvery glow clinging to them.  What the fuck is potato to me?  Despite the pain, he blinked at his own thoughts.  Why did I just potato potato?

twow: “I heard you like potatoes, so I potatoed your potato so that you can use the potato.”

Derpy: That’s quite a bit of potatoes.

Lyra: You both are insane.

 He felt panic start to grip him, but then a new surge of pain came over his body, and rational thought was exterminated.

twow: Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!        

Lyra: “All none potatoes will be exterminated!

        An observer would have heard his joints popping, his bones breaking, his organs collapsing, as his pathetic human form collapsed ever smaller.  Eventually even his skull caved in with a sickening pop, his pale skin flowing together, then turning a medium brown.

Lyra: Oh what?!

Derpy: Ewwww!

twow: I will NEVER get hit by a car now.

  His eyes shadowed over, becoming tiny puckers on the otherwise smoothly curved surface.  When it was finished, a large russet potato lay on the ground.

twow: Screw farming. Just hit people with cars!

Derpy: Wonder if it pays well.

        Through some trick of magic, a shred of consciousness remained, clinging to the cells of the starchy tuber.  Potato?  Potato potato potato.  Potatooooo.

Lyra: I’d rather die if that’s all I was able to think.

Derpy: He’s just able to say what he is.

twow: Over and over...

        Not having much of a sense of time left, the spud was content to sit for however long it was sitting, before it noticed--with some strange residual potatosense--a pony passing by.  Potato?  Pretty green.  Potaaatooooo.

Derpy: Yeah, I would have chosen death.

twow: This story is rated Mature. Now I’m afraid.

        ***

twow: Scene break!

        Lyra was taking a shortcut to get to the market, where she hoped to find Sweetie Drops and wheedle a lunch out of her.

Lyra: I DO have a job...

twow: On Earth? Pray tell, what is it?

Lyra: I study humans!

twow: (facepalm)

  So hungry.  She was out of bits, and wouldn't get paid until Time Turner made good and coughed up the vig on that loan for the race bet last week.  Such a lowlife.

Derpy: Hey! The Doctor always makes good on his debts!

twow: If he’s not busy running.

  One more day and me and Mr. Truncheon go have a talk with our friendly neighborhood clockmaker.  She was almost to the market, passing through the small courtyard behind the candle shop, when she noticed...a potato?

twow: Oh boy.

Derpy: Yes. That is a potato.

Lyra: Sounds good.

twow: OH BOY.

        It was lying on the ground near the middle of the yard.  A single, large, lovely-looking potato.  She felt drawn to it, as if under a compulsion.  As she walked up to it, she glanced around, warily.  What the hell is this?

Lyra:....it’s a potato.

Derpy: Phew, thanks for clarifying that. I thought it was a carrot.

twow: (facepalm 2x combo)

  Seeing nobody nearby, she bent her head down and sniffed it.  Oh...how can a raw potato smell so good?

twow: Please Lyra. YOU tell ME.

Lyra: Um, I really don’t know.

Derpy: Dunk it in blueberry jam!

twow and Lyra: ...

Derpy: You HAVEN’T tried that?!

  She guiltily looked around again, then gave it a quick lick.  It tasted better than it smelled.

Lyra: Still trying to get past the part of a RAW potato having smell.

twow: Good luck.

        No longer caring, she grabbed the terrific tuber off the ground, and cradled it in her foreleg.  She noted a nearby, secluded park bench, and hurried over to it, taking a seat.  Finally, all self-control gone, she took the end of it into her mouth.

twow: Only Lyra can make the eating of a potato kinky.

Derpy: Alright. Now I’m NOT making mashed potatoes for dinner.

  She swirled her tongue around it, sucking lightly on the dark, rough skin.  How?!  How is it so good?!

Lyra: This is making me not want to eat potatoes ever again.

  She bit into it, carving off a small chunk, and shuddered slightly as succulent potato juice dribbled into her mouth and down her chin.  Her mind was a torrent of confused pleasure, but a single thought rang through her consciousness, almost as if called out by another: PoooootaaaaatooooOOOOOooooo!!!

Derpy: “We need a medic here! It seems like a case of....Potato.”

twow: “No! Not Potato!”

Derpy: “Potato.”

  She paid no heed as she gnawed on the potato with the side of her mouth, slowly grinding off small pieces, eventually leaving it looking like a potato shiv.

Lyra: What’s a shiv?

Derpy: It’s like a mini human knife.

twow: Lyra’s gonna stab some bitches up in here.

        She pulled back slightly, breathing heavily, and slowly sank down on the bench.  She then dove back in, licking the exposed, dripping potato flesh, savoring the starchy fluids.  Finally she bit the remainder in half, and let out a small moan as she chewed it into a paste, and gulped it down.

Lyra: Half the time I can’t figure out if I’m having sex, or if I’m eating a potato.

twow: If that’s ever a person’s concern, you need to rethink your life.

  Panting rapidly, she held herself back for one more moment, and then, with a cry, consumed the last piece of her wondrous pomme de terre.  She quivered in ecstasy as the final drops of juice met her tongue, as the final shreds of raw, creamy flesh were crushed, and then fled down her gullet.

Derpy: Wait a second! That human was the potato!

twow: Yeah....

Lyra: I JUST ATE A HUMAN?!

        She lay there, shivering, for several minutes.  Eventually, her eyes popped open, and she glanced around, relieved to see that her ecstatic noises had not attracted any audience.

Lyra: Because eating turns me on. Okay.

twow: “Today it was a potato, tomorrow I’m taking on that piece of celery!”

  She sat up, and quickly licked her face and hooves clean of the last drops of potato blood, a chill going up her spine at the taste.

Derpy: The potato was BLEEDING?!

twow: I think it was just the juice, unless it was bleeding and I am sad now.

        Finally, she stood up, feeling slightly wobbly, and with one last glance around the area, she continued on her way towards the market.  She couldn't wait to see Sweetie Drops--she didn't need lunch anymore, but boy did she have a story to tell!

Lyra: “You should try this. They call them...potatoes.”

        The.  Friggin.  End.

Derpy: Wait...really? That’s it?

twow: Yes. TIME TO GO.

Fallen: (from TV) There. Was that so hard?

twow: Surprisingly, no it wasn’t.

Derpy: It was weird, but it wasn’t BAD.

Lyra: I had sexual gratification by eating a potato.

twow: Well, when you put it like THAT...

Fallen: That was me going easy on you, just so you know. The next two I have for you won’t be as pleasant. In fact, you REALLY don’t want the longer one, twow.

twow: Great. I needed nightmare fuel.

Derpy: Two? Why is Pinkie letting you take control for these riffs?

Pinkie: (from TV) Because he asked nicely!

twow: Fallen? Please.

Fallen: Wasn’t easy, I’ll give you that.

twow: Only time he asks nicely is when it includes MY pain. That’s cool...

Fallen: What, I can’t do it for the sake of tormenting anyone else?

Lyra: I won’t be here, but what do these other riffs entail?

Fallen: Oh, I don’t think I want to give it all away. I will say, though, that one’s a really weird genderbending fic... and the other’s a clopfic that’ll REALLY make twow’s blood boil.

twow: Just as long as it isn’t human. I can deal with it.

Fallen: Well, you’re right about it not being humanized... but I’m going to hold you to that statement. And you might not be glad that I am.

twow: Wonderful.

Lyra: Speaking of clopfics twow and Fallen, what IS the deal with humans having a sheathless penis?

Fallen: And this is where I bail. You guys deal with her. (leaves)

twow: Okay. Pinkie, open the door NOW.

Pinkie: (from TV) You bet! And get ready for next time twow!

twow: I am not going to be prepared.

(Pinkie pushes the button and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, Chapter 1

(Hey guys, it’s Fallen Prime. What you are about to see is ultimate meltdown.)

Round 4 of my bet between Fallen Prime is finally here. And how I wish it wasn’t.

Let’s go back a bit, shall we? If you’ve been following me then you will know that my favorite character is Fluttershy, to the point that I outright flipped my shit when I was forced to read “Momma Fluttershy” out loud in the TWE/WRITE chat.

(Oh, you know you loved it.)

Fuck you. And as you can see, my dear friend/hated enemy introduced me to riffing by making me riff that story with him. I rather enjoyed the experience, so I moved on to riffing my own things, along with helping with other riffs.

I had finished my second riff and was kinda starved for stories. So I asked Fallen if he could find me a few stories to riff and that if I finished them, I would be able to enact a little revenge of my own.

He didn’t make it easy for me, I promise you that. I did my best to plow through them and succeeded with the first three.

(Oh, but THIS story. I will break you yet.)

This story...Okay. In this line of work clopfic+Fluttershy=hell for me. Take a look at “Flutterlove.” But that’s not the problem with this story OH NO it isn’t.

(Apparently this guy has an unbridled HATRED for Futashy. I used that to my advantage, and... here we are.)

The name of this story is Fluttershy's Week-long Foot-long. And if that didn’t scare you off, yes. It is Fluttershy with a dick. God help me.

(GOD CAN’T HELP YOU NOW.)

And apparently though a fucked up series of events, Fluttershy gets a dick and proceeds to have a LOT of sex.

As much as I want to put this off, I can only make this intro so long. So, without anymore waiting, here’s Fluttershy’s Week-Long Foot-Long.

And here’s hoping that I don’t finally break.

(And here’s hoping that you do.)

Fluttershy: Do you think that would work?

twow: I daresay that this is one of my best inventions yet!

Derpy: But..what does it do again?

twow: You talk to it. You tell it what kind of food you want, and it appears!

Fluttershy: I could feed all of my animals with it.

twow: Well, yeah. This IS my gift to you.

Derpy: Hold up a second...Muffin!

(A blueberry muffin appears, prompting Derpy to snatch it up and start eating.)

twow: I swear Derpy...

Derpy: What? It’s good!

Fluttershy: twow? Did you leave the colored fog on?

twow: No. Why?

Fluttershy: (pointing) Then what’s that?

(A blue colored mist settles in front of the friends, consolidating into Princess Luna.)

Luna: Hello twow! Hello Derpy and Fluttershy!

Fallen Prime: (from TV) Oh, now this is RICH. All your favorite people in one place.

twow: Oh shit. All of you get OUT!

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

twow: Damn it!

Pinkie: (from TV): Hi T! How are all of you?

Derpy: I’m alright Pinkie.

Luna: I also am doing well.

Fluttershy: Why-why are the doors locked?

Fallen: Heh. Hehehehehehe... heheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you are gonna suffer tonight!

twow: Heaven forbid I have my friends in here ONE TIME...Alright fine. What is it Pinkie?

Pinkie: Well, I didn’t choose it. Why else do you think Primey is in here?

Fallen: That’s right. Everything before has been building up to this moment. I know I’ll probably never find a story you hate more than “Momma Fluttershy” and “Derpy’s Finest Hour,” but I managed to pool my resources and come up with something almost as bad, as well as being longer than both of them combined!

Fluttershy: Does it have me in it?

Derpy: Or me?

Fallen: No to Derpy... but Fluttershy, it STARS you. And if twow suffers for it, I won’t have it any other way.

Luna: In that case, why am I here?

Fallen: You brought YOURSELF into the lab. You tell me.

Luna: I wasn’t planning on staying...

twow: Fallen. As much as I DO NOT want to ask, what is this story?

Fallen: Pinkie? Drumroll, please.

(Pinkie procures a drumset out of nowhere and complies.)

Fallen: The story that the four of you will be riffing tonight is... “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long!”

twow: (twitch)

Luna: Wait...that’s all?

Derpy: (Handing out earmuffs) You are going to want these.

twow: DAMN YOU FALLLLLLLLLLLLEN!

Fallen: Just from the title. I LOVE it! Now all you have to do is sit through ten-odd chapters of an actual STORY!

Fluttershy: W-what does that title mean?

Fallen: You’re a smart girl, Fluttershy. You can figure it out.

Derpy: Fallen, just why? What makes you enjoy twow’s pain?

Fallen: The fact that he’s funny when he hurts. Duh. There are still shreds of innocence in that naïve mind of his, and in this business, that just can’t be.

twow: I’ve riffed hard stuff before and I still have my innocence shreds. I don’t NEED them gone.

Fallen: Your resilience is impressive. But I think ten chapters of Futashy fucking her way through Ponyville, PLUS the bonus chapters, will mercilessly beat the last of those shreds out of you. And just to tip the iceberg, you get to start with her jacking off for the first time.

twow: Well, I got my three favorite ponies with me. What could possibly go wrong? You girls ready?

Derpy: Yup!

Luna: Well, I don’t really have a choice now do I?

Fluttershy: I don’t want to be here...

twow: I swear I’m going to stab you Fallen.

Fallen: You’ll have more bullet holes and lacerations than it’s physically possible to count before you EVER get close enough to do that. As villains before me have once said... WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM.

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

All characters © Hasbro

twow: Really? I thought they were owned by Nintendo.

CONTAINS: Futashy. (Fluttershy with a dick, if you don't know) If you don't wanna read about Fluttershy with a dick, close the page now.

Fluttershy: What?!

Derpy: ....What.

Luna: What is this?!

twow: Great. ALL THREE of you already broke.

“Here you are, my dears.” Fluttershy smiled as she laid out a platter of freshly-picked vegetables in front of two small animal houses, containing ferrets and rabbits. “Now you eat it all up, okay?”

Derpy: Aww. So cute.

Fluttershy: I do love all my animals.

 she added before flapping her wings and taking off toward the next station outside her home: the chicken coop. Taking the large bag of feed, she poured a good amount of it into the bin in the center; all the chickens flocking to it and digging in immediately.

twow: Like a bunch of rabid wolves.

 “Hehe, hungry I see.” she giggled softly to herself as she left, setting the bag down beside the door.

Luna: This was in the morning...right?

Fluttershy: I guess?

“Whew...all done.” Fluttershy thought, wiping her brow as she slowly flew back toward her home and entered, sighing contently after closing the door behind her. “Time for a well-deserved nap.” she thought with a soft yawn, heading over to the couch and climbing up onto it before curling up on it, resting her head against the soft cushion and closing her eyes.

Derpy: That seemed a bit detailed for nap time.

Luna: Aren’t details good?

twow: In my opinion? Not when it’s a Mature story and we have to riff it.

 Moments later, they immediately shot back open again accompanied by the rest of her jumping up with a soft scream of surprise as a few loud knocks came from the front door.

Fluttershy: Well, I am a light sleeper.

twow: We can tell.

“Oh...oh, just someone here...whew.” she sighed in relief, getting up from the couch and walking over toward the front door. “Who is it...?” she asked as she slowly opened the door, peeking outside to find two royal guards on her doorstep, along with a royal carriage parked on the road leading to the house.

Derpy: I think I know...

Luna: It’s not a big surprise.

“You are Fluttershy, correct?” the guard on the left asked in a firm voice, looking down at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: “Oh no. They call me Pinkie Pie.”

twow: “We were told that one was strong...”

“Um, yes...that's me.” the yellow pegasus replied timidly, looking up at the two guards. “What can I help you two with?”

twow: “Turn around and spread em.” (smacked by Derpy)

Derpy: TWOW!

“The princess has requested your presence at your earliest convenience.” The guard on the right answered, sounding much like the other guard, their voices intimidating the little pegasus slightly.

Luna: Sadly, our guards don’t really notice when they are intimidating our subjects.

“Oh...the princess? I wonder what she wants...okay, I'll go with you.” Fluttershy nodded, before following the guards out to the cart, both of them getting into the two slots on the front while Fluttershy hopped up into the cart.

Derpy: She gets to ride in STYLE.

twow: She’ll be riding something else soon...(smacked by Luna.)

 The two guards immediately took off after Fluttershy secured herself, flying swiftly toward Canterlot even with the weight of the cart they were pulling. In roughly ten minutes they arrived in front of the castle, landing in front of the entrance.

twow: I thought Canterlot was farther away.

Luna: It kinda is, but we train our guards to fly fast.

Fluttershy hopped off of the cart, making sure to thank the two guards, though they remained silent. Gently pushing the large castle door open, it was quiet and empty inside the main foyer. “Hm...that's strange, I thought this place would be buzzing with activity.” she thought to herself as she walked the halls, making her way toward the throne room.

Derpy: It’s the castle. I thought there would be more ponies running around also.

twow: Maybe it’s naptime?

Luna: Our guards don’t take naps.

twow: Reeeealy?

 Approaching the door to it, she gently grasped the golden knocker and lightly knocked three times. “Um...Princess? Are you there?”

Fluttershy: It would have been kind of depressing if she hadn’t been there.

Derpy: I mean, you are there and everything.

“Come in, my loyal subject.” came the answer from behind the door, which slowly opened via magic, startling Fluttershy, as she still had her hoof on the knocker. The timid pegasus walked up toward the throne where Celestia was sitting, smiling a bit.

Luna: I do not like where this is going.

Fluttershy: What do you mean, Princess?

Luna: My sister can be quite the joker. That smile worries me.

“You called for me, Princess?” Fluttershy asked quietly, stepping up in front of the throne, her light smile met with the same from the sun princess.

“How nice it is to see you again, dear Fluttershy.” Celestia answered, glancing down at the yellow pegasus with her usual warm smile. “I just wanted to talk with you for a while, my dear.”

twow: Oh, she just wanted to talk. OKAY SEEMS LEGIT.

Derpy: twow? Relax.

“Oh, sure! What did you want to talk about, princess?” Fluttershy smiled more confidently now.

Fluttershy: “I wanted to talk about your butterflies.”

Derpy: “I wanted to talk about your food.”

Luna: “I wanted to talk about your dreams.”

twow: I want to GET THE FUCK OUT.

“Well, I think we both know what I want to discuss, Fluttershy.” the sun princess responded, her smile fading quickly into a more stern look, Fluttershy's quickly fading as well, changing to an expression of worry.

Fluttershy: Oh...that’s not good.

Derpy: I’m sure that you aren’t in trouble.

“Um...I don't know what you mean, princess.” Fluttershy spoke quietly, trying to think of what Celestia could be talking about, suddenly remembering what happened at her home last weekend, her eyes widening a bit in fear. “She can't...there's no way...she could know?” she thought to herself, feeling her stomach twisting up now.

twow: They found about your animal skinning deal. (smacked by Fluttershy)

Fluttershy: How dare you!

Derpy: He’s already been smacked by all of us and we haven't even started yet.

“Oh Fluttershy, don't lie to me.” Celestia giggled softly, only worrying the timid pegasus further. “Luna, please come out here.” she continued, glancing over toward a door to the right of the throne, opening it with her magic, revealing the moon princess as she entered the throne room as well.

Luna: Oh, this can’t be good.

Fluttershy: At all...

twow: (munching popcorn) Disgunnabegood.

Fluttershy was blushing now as she watched the purple alicorn slowly walk up to Celestia, seeming to be quite nervous as well. “Oh no...this can't be good...” she thought, looking back toward Celestia, who was smiling again

Derpy: You all JUST said that.

“Dear sister, you know what we're talking about, don't you?” Celestia asked, keeping her smile while Luna gulped, nodding slowly.

twow: I would not want Celestia to just smile at me.

Luna: It’s quite frightening.

 “Luna seems to remember...how strange that you've forgotten, Fluttershy.” she continued, looking back toward the yellow pegasus. “I know all about what you and Luna have been doing.”

All three mares: ...

twow: Well, this is good.

Fluttershy's face was almost completely red with embarrassment by now. “B-but...how?” she asked quietly, nearly whispering from her nervousness. It was true; Time and time again, Luna had stopped by Fluttershy's house with the intention of having some...rather obscene “fun” with her. The type that involved whips, chains, leather, and a good deal of shouting.

Fluttershy: ...

twow: What.

Derpy: Whips?

twow: WHAT.

Luna: Chains and leather?

twow: WHAT.

Derpy: And what’s with all the shouting?

twow and Fluttershy: WHAT?!?!

Luna sighed softly, lowering her head. “We're sorry, Fluttershy...we tried to resist, but she is too powerful.” she spoke rather quietly, blushing now as well.

twow: Bet she beat YOU with those chains as well. Huh, huh?

Celestia giggled again, smiling and nodding. “None can resist Celestia's powers of persuasion.” she stated proudly, before turning back toward Fluttershy. “Now, another question, my dear Fluttershy.”

twow: “Why didn’t I get invited?”

Luna: My sister is the more reserved one.

“Y-Yes...?” Fluttershy responded, dreading what question she would be asked next, nearly in tears at this point from fear of what the princess would do to her.

Fluttershy: She isn’t gonna hurt me...is she?

Derpy: I doubt it.

“WHY did you never invite me?” the sun princess demanded, looking back and forth between Fluttershy and her sister.

Fallen: (from TV) Oh my god, that’s perfect. twow, were you just JOKING about that?

All three mares: TWOW!

twow: The ONE TIME when I’m right?!

“I never get invited to any sexy parties, and now when my own sister keeps having them, she doesn't care to invite me?” she growled, waving her front legs in the air. “Not even once!”

Luna: So, my sister is more outgoing than I thought...

twow: If that’s the case, she’s probably doing the nasty with the royal guards..

Fluttershy blinked in confusion, honestly not expecting such a response from the princess, of all ponies. “What...?” she spoke softly, looking up with a confused look on her face.

Fluttershy: I really am confused right now.

Derpy: We all are.

“Oh come on, just because I'm a princess, I can't have fun with some of my subjects every once in a while? Luna here does it, obviously.” Celestia continued, pointing toward her sister. “I'm always stuck up here in Canterlot with nopony but the royal guards! And they're not fun like you Ponyville ponies.”

All three mares: TWOW!

twow: Really story?! Really?!

“We were...unsure if you would wish to take part in our type of fun, sister.” Luna answered meekly, looking back up toward Celestia. “We did not wish to...how does one say it...'gross you out'” she continued, speaking the last part somewhat awkwardly.

twow: She does have a point.

Derpy: What do you mean?

twow: At least in our fandom, Celestia is portrayed as the more reserved one. Usually.

“Luna, please. You've known me for how long?” Celestia shot back, shaking her head. “You know I love kinky stuff like that! Especially the chains!”

Fluttershy: How do you even use the chains?!

twow: Don’t ask me. I’m not fond of bondage.

Derpy: You chain all four legs to the bedpost.

twow: Do I WANT to know...

Derpy: You don’t.

“I'm sorry...Princess...” Fluttershy mumbled, still blushing heavily as she looked up at the annoyed sun princess. “I would have invited you...if I knew you liked that sort of thing...”

The sun princess sighed, pressing her hoof to her forehead. “No matter, what's done is done...still, don't expect to get off the hook easily, dear Fluttershy.” she continued, smiling again. “I'm going to make sure you remember to invite me to any future kinky parties with my sister.” she added as her horn started to glow a golden-yellow.

Luna: Wait, that isn’t fair to Fluttershy. She didn’t KNOW.

twow: Technically if Celestia had known about their parties, then she could have just told Luna to let her join.

“Sister, please, she did not know of thy love for such things. Give her a...break? Is that how you say it?” Luna urged, pressing her hoof against Celestia's shoulder.

twow: She has a point. All she needs to do is command Fluttershy and Luna to let her join next time.

“Hehe, don't expect to get off easily either, dear sister. I can punish you far worse than a normal pony.” Celestia teased with a playful smirk toward Luna, before turning back to Fluttershy.

Derpy: Is that even true?

Luna: Yes, but she doesn’t punish me anyway.

 “As for you, my loyal subject...” she continued, horn glowing a bit brighter now. “Your punishment will last one week. Hopefully next time you think of me when you decide to play with my sister.” she spoke, before lowering her head down, moving her glowing horn closer to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: I don’t suppose it’s too much to ask her to move her horn away?

twow: I REALLY don’t wanna be here.

The frightened yellow pegasus shut her eyes tightly, shivering as she awaited her “punishment”. Banishment? Dungeon imprisonment? Dungeon imprisonment in the location of banishing?

Fluttershy: The loss of my animals?

Derpy: The loss of your wings?

twow: The quote of an episode?

 She had thought so hard about it that she didn't notice the bright flash in front of her, opening her eyes a few moments later to find herself back at her home, tucked into her bed. The sun was nearly set already, leaving it dim outside.

twow: Her punishment was going home. I’LL TAKE IT.

“That's...huh?” Fluttershy thought, not quit understanding what exactly her “punishment” was. “She sent me back home? But what about lasting a week? What about the dungeon or banishment?” she thought, sitting up in her bed.

Luna: Perhaps she put her under house arrest.

Fluttershy: Sorta makes sense.

 “She must have done something...but what?”she continued, sliding the blankets off of her body. “I mean, she wouldn't say that my punishment would be a week long without changi...” her thought process stopped mid-thought as she glanced down at her body, her pupils shrinking in horror as she saw just what had changed. “N-no...it can't be...” she gasped softly, blushing heavily again at the sight, staring at it in disbelief. “Can magic even...do that??”

Fluttershy: Do I want to know?

twow: Something tells me that we don’t have a choice.

Derpy: I don’t suppose Fallen will let us take a break now...

Fallen: (from TV) Finish the fucking prologue.

Luna: Watch your tone.

Right in the middle of her crotch, right above the two mounds that were her udders, was a pair of hefty balls and a sizable sheath. From what she could see, Celestia had turned her into a hermaphrodite!

Fluttershy: WHAT?!

twow: (stands up and walks off) Nope! NOPE! Fuck you Fallen!

Derpy: twow! Come back!

Luna: You cannot leave the lab you realize.

twow: I don’t care! Fuck this story!

Fallen: (from TV) That’s exactly what it wants. Now sit your ass back down.

twow: Screw you Fallen! Bring your ass in here and riff this!

Fallen: Yeah, no. I’m content with watching.

“This isn't happening...this is just a dream...” she tried to tell herself, still staring at the new equipment she had been endowed with, slowly backing up against the headboard of her bed.

Derpy: That’s....

Fluttershy: No words will indicate how much wrong this has.

After at least a minute of staring, she slowly reached down toward it, gently pressing her hoof against the sheath and gasping softly as it tingled with pleasure from her touch. “Okay so...it's...not a dream...” she thought with a blush as she gently rubbed the sensitive sheath, only causing her to feel more of the tingly pleasure, stimulating her new endowment contained within.

Luna: So, that’s how it works?

Derpy: I don’t know. And out of the only two males here, one is sitting in front of a TV giggling like a school filly and the other one is trying to break the door down with a chainsword.

Before she knew it, the head of her light-brown member peeked out of the sheath, only causing her to blush more from a mixture of different emotions; mostly anxiety, embarrassment and of course, pleasure.

Fluttershy: No! No pleasure!

She was somewhat worried about her new “equipment”, but at the same time, she couldn't stop rubbing it, and as she kept rubbing, the pleasure, as well as the size of the shaft, continued to grow.

twow: (from other side of the room) Yeah, that’s usually how it works!

“This feels so strange...yet...so good...” she thought, pressing her hoof against the swelling penis, feeling it throb lightly as it stiffened quickly, reaching its full length in a few more moments; standing up at a proud 12 inches. Not as big as a stallion's, but still decently sized for being artificial.

Derpy: Wow...um...that’s nice?

Luna: I guess my sister was going to make sure you understood your punishment.

Fluttershy: I get it!

With her hoof gently wrapped around it, she continued to lightly stroke up and down the length, taking in the new pleasurable sensations coming from the gentle rubbing, her cheeks still flushed red from both pleasure and embarrassment.

Fluttershy: ...what?

Derpy: That’s how stallions mas-

Fluttershy: Don’t finish that!

 “W-wow...it's...big...” she thought, watching as a bead of pre formed on the slit at the top, before sliding down the length and onto her hoof. She stopped stroking it for a moment, letting it throub against her hoof, feeling the small veins along the length pulse in time with her heartbeat.

Luna: I...I cannot make the same jokes that twow would. He needs to sit back down.

Derpy: I can try..what a beat it has..?

Fluttershy: Now I’m sort of glad twow quit.

Fallen: (from TV) Luna, drag him back. He’s had his fun.

Luna: If I do that, he’ll walk away again.

Fallen: Not if you restrain him. And don’t tell me you can’t or won’t.

Derpy: Stop Fallen. He’ll come back.

Lust was now clouding her thoughts as she watched her new endowment throb against her hoof, her eyes closing partially as well.

Fluttershy: If I have lust right now, am I attracted to myself?

Derpy: That’s...gross.

 The idea of having male parts was starting to arouse her now as her lust continued to increase, causing her hoof to continue stroking her endowment up and down once more; Her breathing accelerating slightly as her pleasure continued to climb higher, stroking her member faster as well, watching as more warm pre oozed from the slit and wet her hoof.

Luna: I don’t feel comfortable knowing how stallions’ body parts work.

Derpy: I thought you already knew!

“Nnh...oh yes...” she quietly moaned as she felt a pressure building up within her loins in response to the quickened stroking, her orgasm building up quickly. She slumped back slightly against the headboard and pillow as she continued stroking rapidly, ending up laying on her back on the pillow after a few more moments.

Fluttershy: Oh, I hope that I was alone when this was taking place.

Derpy: I thought you were?

Fluttershy: My animals.

Derpy: Oh...

 Chest rising and falling from her heavy panting, her cheeks blushed again as she felt the pressure increasing along with her pleasure, signaling her orgasm closing in on her.

Luna: Information that I was happy not knowing.

After a couple more moments of vigorous stroking, Fluttershy finally felt her pleasure peaking, closing her eyes tightly and moaning blissfully as her orgasm hit.

Fluttershy: (covering her eyes) I can’t watch!

Derpy: Don’t worry. We’ll handle this one.

 She bucked her hips upward a bit as her shaft swelled slightly thicker, standing straight up and shooting thick globs of steamy seed, going up into the air and splashing down all over the her body.

Derpy: Well, that’s one way to take a bath.

Luna: And need another one right after.

Her orgasm seemed to affect both of her 'parts' though; her pink slit releasing a small stream of her carnal juices onto the bed below, leaving a sizable wet spot.

Luna: Well, that’s just unnecessary to know.

Fluttershy: This is gonna be one of those stories...

The feeling of the steamy, sticky goo soaking into her coat and mane only made her blush harder; her orgasm putting out quite a bit more than she was expecting, leaving streaks of the sticky stuff all over her belly and face, as well as the bed and pillow.

Fluttershy: How could I have expected it if I had never had one before?

Derpy: Maybe you had fantasized about this before?

Fluttershy: ....I never have.

 “Oh...my...” she quietly thought out loud as she panted softly, basking in the afterglow of her first orgasm with her new endowment. Opening her eyes again, she looked down at her spent member, her hoof still gently wrapped around it as it throbbed, a string of the sticky fluid oozing from the slit and onto her coat.

Derpy: The picture I have in my mind is horrible.

Fluttershy: I agree...

Luna: I’m just about to actually listen to Fallen and drag twow over here.

Fallen: (from TV) Atta girl, Princess!

Derpy: Are you just gonna keep popping in at random times?

Fallen: I’m keeping a close eye on things here. If I want to interject, I will.

Now that she wasn't so focused on her new endowment, her worries from before came flooding back into her mind, causing her to to panic slightly. What would her friends think? What would Ponyville think? If word got out that she was a hermaphrodite, even temporarily, she'd never hear the end of it.

Derpy: Well, I don’t really know...

“One week...how am I going to hide this for a week?” she thought, sitting up again while her member slowly softened again.

Fluttershy: With effort.

Derpy:Possibly a lot of it.

 “I can't just stay in here forever...I have to feed my animals! And Rarity will come looking for me if I don't show up to our weekly get-together...” her thoughts continued, only making her panic more. As she thought about it though, an idea came to her.

Luna: Wait a moment. Why couldn’t I remove it?

Derpy: Probably because it was Celestia’s magic. And part of the punishment is you NOT being able to see her.

“I got this from magic so...Twilight should know how to help me. She knows everything about magic!” Fluttershy thought, relieving her panic a bit as she found a solution.

Fluttershy: She does have a point. Maybe this won’t be as bad as we all think.

 She looked down at the mess she had made on the bed, as well as all over herself, slightly amazed at just how much she was able to put out. “But I'll have to clean up first...” she giggled softly to herself, hopping out of her bed and glancing over at the clock on the wall, reading “7:21PM”.

Derpy: Cleaning up is always a good thing.

Fluttershy: It’s great to be clean.

Luna: Yes. Being clean is...what are we doing?

Derpy: Trying to distract ourselves from this story.

Fluttershy shortly prepared a bath for herself and made sure to clean herself extra thoroughly, getting all of the sticky goop out of her mane and coat, as well as using a powerful-scented shampoo to completely rid herself of the stench.

Luna: How much shampoo did she NEED?

Fluttershy: Probably more than I used.

Derpy: I hope it smelled like blueberries!

 After she was done bathing, drying off and lightly styling her hair back to the way it always is, she headed out toward Twilight's library; the sun now completely set, and the moon and stars now high in the sky. “I hope Twilight can fix this...” she thought with slight nervousness as she flew, glad that it was nighttime, so nopony on the ground would be able to see her in her current state.

Fluttershy: Wait, I didn’t cover up?

Derpy: It’s at night time though.

Fluttershy: What if somepony looked up?!

End of prologue. Next chapter: Futashy and Twilight! (Well, duh.)

Luna: Wonderful. I am on the edge of my seat for that.

Fluttershy: Wait...I’m going to have sex...with Twilight?

Derpy: I think we’re gonna need a break now.

Fallen: (from TV) And I do it all for free / Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need...oh, you’re done with the prologue?

Derpy: There is nothing in the world that will ever explain what is wrong with you.

Fallen: And let’s keep it that way.

Fluttershy: Why did you do this to me?!

Fallen: This is twow’s trial. You just got caught in the crossfire. Speaking of... Luna, fetch him.

Luna: You do not give me orders. But I do believe that his break is over.

(Luna’s horn lights up and she brings twow back, dumping him in his seat.)

twow: Oh...hey guys. I was just trying to not be here anymore.

Fallen: And you win a gold medal for your efforts. I’m not letting you sit any more of this out like that, I hope you know.

twow: Fine. I’ll just sit here and not say anything.

Fallen: You won’t need to. As long as you sit there and stare at the story. Your face will give me all the satisfaction I need.

Fluttershy: Both of you stop it! Here, let me talk to him.

Derpy: I don’t know Fluttershy. He seems rather sure of not riffing this.

Fluttershy: I know that. But twow, isn’t this the fourth story that Fallen’s given you?

twow: Yes...

Fluttershy: This is hard for me also. But you’ve come so far now! You’ve told me about wanting to beat Fallen at something. Why not this?

twow: Because...because this takes your character and twists it into something it isn’t! It was like that in “FlutterLove” and I hated it there as well!

Fallen: Oh, you PUSSY.

Fluttershy: Don’t focus on that twow. You’ve got all your favorite ponies with you, so come on. I’m certain that we can handle it.

Derpy: Besides twow. Remember “Marshmallow Holes?”

twow: EW BAD IMAGES.

Luna: I have to agree with Fluttershy, twow. You can do this, and we will help. So let us read this so we can all leave.

Derpy: And don’t forget twow. This was all a bet, so after this YOU get to make Fallen suffer.

twow: Focusing on that thought alone, I think I can do this. Thanks girls.

Fallen: Please. What do you have that you can torture ME with? I know all of your buttons, and I know just how to push them and just how hard.

twow: I’m thinking of a certain human that has the powers of the Mane 6...

Fallen: ...get back to your goddamn futa clopfic.

Luna: Before we do... who is in this coming chapter?

Fallen: Looks like Twilight Sparkle. Why?

(Luna teleports out of the lab, and Twilight Sparkle is teleported in.)

Twilight Sparkle: -can’t miss even ONE DROP of this potion! Wait, where am I?

Fallen: Well. I... did not expect that. Guess your lab’s not princess-proof.

twow: You’re at my lab, and I have no idea what’s going on anymore.

Derpy: I think the princess bailed on us.

Pinkie: I’m gonna have to fix that so it won’t happen again. Ready to riff again?

Twilight: Wait, WHAT!? What are we riffing!?

Fallen: “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long.” The chapter where Fluttershy uses her new penis to fuck you.

Twilight: ...oh no.

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

All characters © Hasbro

twow: Surprising. I assumed Sega held the copyrights.

CONTAINS: Futashy. (Fluttershy with a dick, if you didn't know.) If you don't wanna read about Fluttershy with a dick, close the page now.

Derpy: This author is taunting us, I swear.

Twilight: It’s like he knows how much we hate this.

After a short flight, Fluttershy finally arrived in front of Twilight's tree-library, landing gracefully at the doorstep and peering inside the lit-up window.

twow: “She’s climbing through your windows, snatchin’ your people up...”

Pinkie: (from TV) “Hide your kids, hide your wife...”

Derpy: “And hide your husband..”

Twilight: It’s not like she’s raping everyone or something...

She spotted the purple unicorn at her desk on the left side of the room, surrounded by books as a quill wrote across a piece of parchment, being levitated by her magic.

Fluttershy: Well, that’s one thing that never changes.

Twilight: And in this story, will probably be bad.

“Whew, she's home...hopefully she can help get rid of this...” Fluttershy thought, glancing down between her legs for a moment, before stepping up to the door, raising her hoof and gently knocking on it.

Fluttershy: I can’t help but wonder how I’m going to open up the topic of my... predicament.

twow: “Hi Twilight! Hey, I have a dick. Can you help me?” (smacked by Fluttershy)

 A couple moments passed before the door opened, a purple-ish aura surrounding it as it did; revealing Twilight, who smiled warmly.

“Oh, hello there Fluttershy! What brings you here this late?” she asked, motioning for the pegasus to follow her inside as she turned, heading back toward her desk.

Derpy: “I wanted to read some books?”

twow: Cue adorkable smile.

“Um...nothing really...I just thought I'd visit you.” Fluttershy lied as she followed Twilight inside, walking over to the desk with her. “What are you studying tonight?”

“I was just writing some notes on anatomy.” Twilight answered, pointing her hoof toward one of the open books on her desk as she levitated her quill once more, continuing to write on the parchment. “Biology is a lot of fun, you know?”

Twilight: Of COURSE I was studying that!

Fluttershy: That’s quite the coincidence.

Derpy: This one was trying too hard.

Fluttershy nodded with a slight smile, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Meanwhile, Spike came down the stairwell, carrying a stack of books over to the desk and putting them down beside it.

twow: Oh...that might not end well.

Fluttershy: I would never have sex with a dragon!

twow: Please tell me that it’s because he’s still a baby.

Twilight: Flashbacks of that other story incoming...

“Here's the rest of those anatomy books from the attic. Why do you need so many, anyways?” the little dragon groaned, his arms sore from carrying them for so long. “Oh, hey Fluttershy.” he casually added as he glanced toward her, getting a smile from her as well.

Derpy: I find it kinda ominous that Twilight’s studying anatomy at the moment that Fluttershy is cursed.

twow: That what you all are gonna call it?

Twilight: What are you suggesting?

twow: Seeing as how we have nine chapters left, do what Fluttershy is doing.

Fluttershy: What am I doing?

twow: Remembering that this is a story and tearing it apart.

“You know what I always say; the more books, the better!” Twilight giggled, levitating a couple of the new books onto her desk, replacing the ones that were there previously.

twow: (fist pump)

Twilight: You enjoy reading also?!

twow: Hell yes. Starting at three and haven’t stopped yet.

 “Is there anything you need, Fluttershy?” she asked, glancing at Fluttershy, bringing up a fresh piece of parchment with her magic, laying it in front of the one she had been writing on.

“Oh, well...there is something I wanted to talk to you about...but, can we talk in private, please? That is...if that's okay with you.” Fluttershy asked quietly, blushing softly; Spike taking the hint and heading back upstairs again, yawning slightly as it was close to his bedtime.

twow: Seeing as how Spike lives in a town with mostly mares, he understands.

Derpy: Not quite.

Twilight: He’s rather smart. I’m sure he does now.

Fluttershy: (shudders)

“Well, sure. What did you want to talk about?” Twilight asked, setting the quill down as she motioned for Fluttershy to follow again, leading her into the kitchen and shutting the door behind them.

“It's...um, well, I went to Canterlot earlier today; Princess Celestia had her guards bring me up there so she could talk to me.” Fluttershy started, trying to keep her composure despite all of her anxiety.

Twilight: Fluttershy’s actually pretty calm about all this.

twow: Of course. She’s with a friend.

Fluttershy: Isn’t going to make the confession any easier.

“Really? What did she say?” Twilight asked, more intrigued now that the subject was Celestia. “The princess doesn't normally call ponies up to Canterlot unless it's important...what happened?”

Derpy: “Oh nothing important. I just grew a penis.”

Fluttershy gulped softly, blushing again in embarrassment. “You...promise you won't tell anypony?” she asked quietly.

“Yes, of course. I won't tell a soul.” Twilight nodded, before bringing her hoof across her chest and gently poking her eye with it, the traditional 'Pinkie Pie swear'. The fact that Fluttershy wanted to keep it a secret only worried her further, though.

Fluttershy: Of course I would want to keep that a secret.

twow: Hopefully, Twilight doesn’t break again. Secrets are hard to keep.

Twilight: I learned my lesson. Losing a friend’s trust IS the fastest way to lose a friend-

Pinkie: (from TV) FOREVER!

twow: Pinkie Pie, I swear...

“Okay...” Fluttershy started, taking a deep breath to try and calm herself. “It all started when Luna came over to my house one night, at least a month ago.” Fluttershy started. “We talked over tea for a while, before she asked me if I wanted to play a game with her.”

“A game? What kind of game?” Twilight asked curiously, tilting her head a bit. “Why would Luna go to Fluttershy and ask that?” she thought, somewhat confused, but deciding to keep her thoughts until after she got the full story.

Derpy: It was “Hide and Seek.”

twow: The way this story is going, it was probably “Spin the Bottle.”

Twilight: At least it’s not “Truth or Dare.”

“Uhm..well...” the nervous pegasus began, her cheeks blushing again. “She wanted to play...SBDM? DMBS? I can't remember what she called it, but it always involved me tying her up and shouting at her and doing other...things.” she said, her whole face flushing red with embarrassment by now. “She'd tell me to hit her with whips or say bad things to her, and-”

twow: It’s called “BDSM.” It’s also weird as shit.

Fluttershy: I want to understand. What exactly is it?

twow: I really don’t want to explain it. Besides, I think that Fallen knows more than I do.

Twilight: Explain, then, Fallen. Not that I really want to know...

Fallen: (from TV) That basically sums it up, I think. Bondage and sexual sadomasochism. There’s PROBABLY more to it, but I don’t buy into it enough to know any specifics.

twow: Think of it as a VERY fucked up form of sex.

“FLUTTERSHY!” Twilight nearly shouted, shoving her hoof against Fluttershy's mouth to silence her. “Are you serious?! Luna seriously asked you to do that?” she asked with wide eyes, knowing exactly what Fluttershy was talking about...from reading about it in a book, of course.

Derpy: That’s not a surprise.

twow: I used the internetz.

 Fluttershy nodded, looking back into Twilight's eyes, still blushing in embarrassment. “What in Equestria? Why would she want you to do those...things?”

twow: The real question is, was she good at it? (smacked by all three mares)

“I don't know...she would just come over to my house at night from time to time and ask me if I wanted to play that game with her. I didn't want to say no, she sounded like she really wanted to do it.” Fluttershy continued after pushing Twilight's hoof off of her snout, looking down at the floor. “And I guess...I kind of enjoyed it, too...some of the things we did were very...nice.” she spoke even more quietly.

Derpy: How is that NICE?!

twow: People that like that are kinda fucked in the head. No offence, Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Taken. A lot.

Twilight shook her head, completely bewildered by the story Fluttershy was telling. “Okay, okay...how does this relate to going to see Princess Celestia?” she asked, wanting to get back on topic again.

“Well, um...she called me up to Canterlot to talk to me and told me that she knew about what me and Luna were doing.” Fluttershy spoke softly, looking back up at Twilight. “She got Luna to tell her everything and...then she punished me.”

twow: She’s a troll like that.

“Punished...you?” Twilight blinked in surprise, though her worry only increasing as her mind rapidly jumped to different conclusions. “What did she do to you? You're not hurt, are you? Is she going to banish you and put you in a dungeon or..?” she asked, gently putting her hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder.

Fluttershy: Repeat a line that I already said?

twow: One that is used way too much.

“I think...you should see for yourself, Twilight.” the nervous pegasus replied, gently pushing Twilight's hoof off her shoulder before she sat on the floor, blushing hard and turning her head away in embarrassment as she spread her legs, revealing her new 'equipment' to Twilight.

All: ...

Fluttershy: Did I just...

Derpy: You did.

Twilight: That was... bold.

“What the...” Twilight started, her pupils shrinking as she stared at the sheath and balls in disbelief, her jaw almost dropping to the floor. “She...she...did THAT?!” she stammered, blushing now as well, her mind only filling with even more wild conclusions. “What in Equestria?! How is that even possible?? I've seen quite a bit of Alteration magic, but this is just ridiculous!”

twow: She’s a member of the Collage.

Twilight: I don’t doubt that the princess could do this, but...

Derpy: Hopefully she never WOULD.

“I-I don't know how she did it either, but that's what she did...” Fluttershy spoke softly, closing her legs again before standing up, looking back toward Twilight. “I came here to ask you if you knew how to remove it...it IS magic, right?”

twow: Course not!

Twilight: It’s all in your mind...

Derpy: Until she touches it again.

Fluttershy: EW!

“Well...uh, I'd assume so...” the purple unicorn gulped and nodded, still shaken from the fact that her friend was now a full-blown hermaphrodite, even if just via a magic spell. “I don't know about removing it though, I've never heard of any alteration magic like this!”

Twilight: I read SOMETHING about it, but I never really looked into it...

twow: Apparently Celestia is the Dragonborn.

“There has to be some way, though...right? Celestia said it would last for a week...I don't know if I can hide it that long, Twilight.” Fluttershy continued, looking at the floor again. “If anypony found out about this, I wouldn't be able to show my face in Ponyville again...”

twow: Not without a street corner. (smacked by Derpy.)

Twilight took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to regain her composure. “Don't worry, we'll find a way to get rid of it, or at least hide it.” she spoke, turning towards the door again. “Stay here, I'm going to get some books.” she added before going through the door and back to the center of the library, starting to search for more advanced spellbooks.

Twilight: Right. Because if my friend somehow spawns a penis, step one is to find a BOOK.

Derpy: I’d do that!

twow: And I have no problem believing that Derpy.

“Twilight, what's going on?” Spike asked from the top of the stairs, having heard Twilight's shouting earlier, looking down at her from one of the top steps as she walked around the bookshelves, taking down a book here and there. “Is something wrong with Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy: I really hope that he doesn’t come downstairs.

twow: The fucked up side of me hopes that he does.

Fluttershy: TWOW!

twow: I SAID that it was the fucked up side of me!

“It doesn't concern you Spike, go back to bed.” Twilight replied dismissively, carrying a few books with her magic as she headed back toward the kitchen, going inside again and locking and magically soundproofing the door this time, just in case Spike decided to disobey her.

Derpy: You could always go into your bedroom...

Twilight: This isn’t me! This isn’t logical!

twow: Twilight, logic flew out the window as soon as Fluttershy opened her legs.

 “Okay, there should be something in these books that can help.” she told Fluttershy as she set the books down, picking up the first one and opening it up, starting to flip through the pages.

“What are you going to try first?” Fluttershy asked curiously, watching the pages flip with magic as Twilight searched through the book, finally stopping a good ways into the book.

twow: “How To Remove Dicks.”

Twilight: I’m don’t know if that spell exists.

twow: I know. If it did, Fallen wouldn’t be here.

Fallen: (from TV) It’d make sex changes in Equestria a lot quicker, I can tell you that much.

“Here's something I can try...it says it's for removal of physical enchantments.” Twilight answered, reading the spell and preparing herself to cast it. “Tell me when you're ready, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy took a slow breath as she sat down spread her legs again, not exactly sure if she needed to or not, but doing so anyway in case she did need to. “I'm ready...” she softly spoke, blushing in embarrassment once more.

Derpy: I’m thinking that she didn’t have too.

Twilight: Well if I keep looking at it, of COURSE I’m gonna get aroused!

twow: Alright, I don’t wanna sit next to you...

“Okay, here goes...tell me if you feel anything strange.” came Twilight's reply as her horn started glowing brighter, Fluttershy's sheath and balls starting to glow with a magic aura as well, causing her to feel the same tingly pleasure as when she was rubbing it herself.

twow: SHE HAS A DICK. I THINK THAT’S PRETTY STRANGE.

Fluttershy: I can see where this is going...

“O-Oohh...Twilight...stop, that feels weird...!” she softly moaned, causing Twilight to stop the spell immediately.

The unicorn sighed softly, flipping through the book again, finding another spell after a few moments, her focused reading causing her to not notice the tip of Fluttershy's member poking out of her sheath. “Here, let me try a different one...this one's supposed to neutralize alteration magic.” she spoke, before working her magic on Fluttershy's male bits again.

Derpy: Raise your hooves/hands if this is gonna end well!

(No one moves)

Derpy: I was afraid of that.

Fallen: (from TV) Your currency has genders?

twow: For as much as you are talking, you might as well bring your ass in here.

Fallen: Sorry, can’t. The lab’s locked.

twow: I perfected my TARDIS watch. Locked door is not an excuse.

This time, Fluttershy didn't feel anything at first; glancing down at her crotch and seeing the magic aura. “I think it might be working...” she started, but quickly realized that she spoke too soon. The aura on her sheath suddenly began brightening rapidly, causing her eyes to widen in fear, Twilight's doing the same as she tried to stop her magic, though right as she did, both magic auras flashed brightly.

Twilight: I guess I can’t mess with Princess Celestia’s magic.

Fluttershy: Either that, or this was a way for the sex to happen.

“Agh!” Twilight groaned from the sudden spell break, leaving her slightly dazed  for a couple of moments. “Fluttershy, are you alright?” she asked worriedly, shaking her head before glancing over at Fluttershy, now laying on her back and shivering a bit, even more dazed than Twilight was.

“Oogh...I...think...” Fluttershy mumbled, one eye closed as she slowly sat back up again, looking back at Twilight to see an exasperated look on her face, as well as a deep blush on both cheeks. “Twilight? What are you looking at me like that f...” she stopped and gasped in surprise and embarrassment as she looked down, seeing her semi-aroused member now fully aroused, standing proudly at its full 12 inches and gently throbbing. She gasped and quickly turned around, her face flushing red quickly as she closed her legs.

twow: Damn Flutters. 12 inches?

Fallen: (from TV) Well, yeah. What part of “FOOT-long” did you miss? She’s got a Subway sub between her legs!

twow: And now I’m hungry...NO BAD IMAGE.

Fluttershy: (blushing) Is that a good thing?

twow: I could do my fucking math homework with that thing! (smacked by Twilight and Derpy).

Derpy: Taking it a bit too far.

Twilight was speechless for a few more moments; she could have sworn that Fluttershy's member was  still glowing despite the spell breaking. She gently shook her head after another moment, snapping out of her surprise and reaching toward Fluttershy's shoulder. “Fluttershy! Are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?” she asked, gently nudging the pegasus' shoulder.

Derpy: No, but you made US all hurt.

“I-I'm sorry! I don't know how it got like that!” Fluttershy stammered, turning her head to look back at Twilight. “I didn't mean for it to get hard!” she continued, shivering a bit again. “Y-You didn't hurt me...”

twow: “Not in anyway that I didn’t like..” (smacked by all three mares).

Twilight sighed in relief, though continued to gently hold her hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. “I've never had a spell react like that before...I didn't mean to make your body do...that.” she spoke, gently rubbing the pegasus' shoulder. “But I think I've figured out what went wrong, judging from how the spell reacted. Could you turn around for a moment? I need to see your...thing.” she asked nervously.

Fluttershy: “I wonder if that’ll fit inside...” Oh no! I’m so sorry!

twow: Flutters, this entire story has you screwing a LOT of ponies. You’ve got to let go.

Fluttershy: I can’t!

Derpy: twow, let her go for this chapter. We’ll talk about it at the break.

“If you say so, Twilight...” the pegasus replied softly, slowly turning around again, still blushing hard in embarrassment as she let Twilight see her aroused member. Twilight squinted softly as she took a closer look at it, seeing that it was indeed glowing, though not as bright as her magic aura.

Twilight: Wait, does it have its own magic?

twow: I doubt it. It’s more likely that some of your magic got stuck inside...EW.

“That's strange...it's glowing.” she thought out loud, scratching her head a bit in confusion. “I'm not using my magic on it, the spell should have faded, but...it's still glowing. The only reason it would be glowing is...oh no.” she groaned, shaking her head.

“What? What's wrong?” Fluttershy asked worriedly, her eyes widening in fear. “Is there something wrong with it?”

Derpy: I bet there’s something wrong with it.

Twilight: I’m certain that there is something wrong with it.

Fluttershy: I really hope that there’s nothing wrong with it...

twow: There’s something wrong with it.

“Well, if it's still glowing, that means there's a magical seal on the spell Celestia used, preventing it from being removed. My magic has...well, in simple terms, gotten stuck inside the seal.” Twilight explained, blushing as she kept staring at Fluttershy's gently throbbing member, finding it strangely arousing, despite it being attached to one of her friends.

All three mares: TWOW!

twow: Oh for crying out loud! I called it AGAIN?!

“Oh...well, what does that mean, then?” Fluttershy continued, only becoming more embarrassed as she noticed Twilight staring at her for so long. “Is it going to work or not?”

“To be honest, I'm not sure, Fluttershy. I've never tried to tamper with the princess' magic before.” Twilight replied, shaking her head a bit to try and rid herself of the increasing amount of 'naughty' thoughts filling her mind. “There's no telling what could happen.”

twow: OH BOY.

Fluttershy: (voice breaking) I can’t...

twow: I’m going to stab Fallen if you cry.

Fallen: (from TV) Bullets and lacerations, twow.

twow: You’re saying that like it would stop me.

“I see...” Fluttershy nodded, glancing down at her glowing endowment again, sighing softly. Right now, all she felt was a small, tingly pleasure, not knowing that it was the magic, due to never having a penis before, of course.

Twilight: Well, yeah.

Derpy: No?

twow: I don’t think either of you know what you are talking about.

 Celestia's spell was reacting somewhat violently with Twilight's, which was causing the pegasus' sudden arousal.  “Well, um...right now it feels kinda...weird. I don't know if it's the magic doing that or not.” she added, looking back up at Twilight.

twow: Shhh, that’s just hormones that you don’t belong having.

The purple unicorn heard Fluttershy, but was once more distracted by the constant dirty thoughts entering her mind, glancing down at Fluttershy's endowment again. “I haven't been with a stallion in so long...no, Twilight! Snap out of it, she wants to get rid of it! But it's so big and thick...I can't just let this go to waste...” her thoughts went back and forth as she kept staring, becoming quite aroused herself without noticing, causing her folds to moisten slightly.

Derpy: Twilight...is about to use Fluttershy.

twow: Yup.

Twilight: For her body.

twow: Yup.

Derpy: Is this gonna end well?

twow: For us? Nope.

“Twilight?” Fluttershy asked again, waving her hoof in front of the unicorn's face, snapping her out of her daydreaming. “Are you alright?”

“Huh? What? Oh, yes, I'm fine, fine!” she answered quickly, smiling nervously. “Just uh, thinking about...the magic, yeah!” she giggled a bit. “Whew, that was close...but still...I can't just leave her like this, wouldn't want her to have blue balls...” she thought, looking back up toward Fluttershy's face.

Fluttershy: What?!

twow: If a male gets horny and doesn’t have relief, his balls turn blue. I really don’t know all the details, but I know that it’s painful as hell.

“So what are we gonna do, Twilight? It won't get soft again...” Fluttershy continued, gently pressing her hoof against the head of her member, still stiff as ever and throbbing softly, a bead of pre forming on the slit as well. “Oh, this is so embarrassing...why won't it get soft again? I don't want to rub it in front of Twilight...” she thought, only feeling the tingly pleasure increasing more and more as time passed.

Derpy: I thought that it goes down if you aren’t attracted to anything?

twow: Fluttershy has emotions that are new to her, and a body part that she should never have. It’s not going down without some sex.

“Well...I know this sounds kind of weird, but...” Twilight started, gulping softly. “...do you...need a hoof with that?” she asked quietly, both of them blushing in embarrassment again. “It would make it soft again, at least, for a while.”

Fluttershy: ...What?

twow: This is not going to be good for anyone in this room.

Fluttershy only blushed heavily, not sure how to respond to the unicorn's request. The thought of having that kind of fun with her friends would normally be something she enjoyed somewhat, but she was unsure of how things would go with her new endowment.

Twilight: PLEASE stop putting these images in my head.

 However, the fact that Twilight was offering eased her nerves somewhat. She closed her eyes from embarrassment for a moment, before answering quietly. “You...won't tell anypony, will you?” she asked, opening one eye slowly.

Fluttershy: And...I don’t really have a choice?

Derpy: Fluttershy, are you okay?

Fluttershy: ...no.

“Of course not, Fluttershy. You're my friend, I wouldn't tell anypony.” Twilight smiled softly, gently putting her hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. “Whew...I thought I would have to convince her more!” she thought to herself.

twow: That’s right Twilight. Don’t even notice that this is hard for your friend.

Fluttershy: ...break.

Twilight: What?

Fluttershy: It’s time for a break.

Derpy: Fluttershy, we get those at the END of the chapters.

Fluttershy: BREAK NOW!

twow: Oh shit. Do it Pinkie!

Pinkie: (from TV) Fluttershy, are you alright?

Fluttershy: I am NOT.

Fallen: (from TV) ...well, now I feel like utter shit. Almost.

twow: KNIFE IN THROAT FALLEN.

Derpy: Do you want to talk about it?

Fluttershy: This story isn’t bad because it’s me having sex. It’s because of HOW I’m having it.

Twilight: What do you mean?

Fluttershy: I want to be liked for who I am. And when I do have sex, I want it to be because I finally found the pony that I’m going to be with forever.

twow: Well, that’s gonna happen Flutters.

Fluttershy: But not here! The only reason that anypony wants me is because I have something between my legs that shouldn’t be there!

Fallen: ...for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for not taking into account how you’d feel about this story, Fluttershy. If only because I wasn’t taking into account the possibility of you joining twow for this.

Pinkie: I’m sorry too. I should have learned after “Momma Fluttershy.”

Fallen: Don’t do this to yourself, Pinkie. This was my pick, remember?

twow: Can I say something Flutters?

Fluttershy: ...Sure.

twow: Look. You are a beautiful pony and everyone in this room shares that thought. I don’t know about Fallen though, he’s challenged.

Fallen: Hey, screw you! I have just as much respect for her as you do! You don’t riff as many stories together as we have without forging some sort of connection.

twow: Joke Fallen. Calm your tits. Either way I know without a doubt that you will find that pony for your own. Believe me.

Fluttershy: ...you really mean that?

Pinkie: Of course!

Derpy: Come on Fluttershy! We all know that you will.

Twilight: There’s not a doubt in my mind.

Fallen: Fluttershy, there’s really not much not to like about you. Finding that special somepony... I’m willing to call it an inevitability.

Fluttershy: (tearing up) Thank you guys...

Fallen: Hey, anything to cheer you back up. It’s not fun to watch you break like that.

twow: Now you know what you should do now Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: What?

twow: Sit up straight, snuggle close to those two mares over there and rip this story a new one.Can you handle that?

Fluttershy: Yes, I can do that. (hugs twow)

twow: I think my heart just stopped from too much adorable.

Fallen: Just remember: twow’s hurting too. Think of that, and you’ll be fine.

Derpy: You do like ruining moments, don’t you?

Fallen: I don’t really do these bleeding-heart types of moods. If it bleeds, I can and probably will kill it.

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

Fluttershy tried to smile back, still blushing heavily in embarrassment though, looking down at her eagerly throbbing member; the tingly pleasure nearly double what it was a couple minutes ago. “Um...I'm not exactly sure how to do this...” she admitted, looking back up at Twilight.

twow: Point it straight up.

Derpy: And let her sit on it.

twow: ...Wow. This is going to corrupt us so badly.

Twilight: Nothing we say will ever leave this lab.

Fallen: (from TV) Sure, whatever. We’re recording, right?

“Oh, don't worry about it, Fluttershy. I can teach you.” Twilight reassured her, keeping her soft smile as she looked into the pegasus' eyes. “At least...I can teach you what the books taught me!” she added, giggling softly.

Fluttershy: “They showed me how to do it with mares, stallions, dragons...”

Derpy: “The last one was really interesting.”

Twilight: HEY!

“Hehe...I guess so...” Fluttershy giggled softly as well, becoming less nervous as she slowly regained her confidence. “So..um, what did you have in mind, Twilight?”

“Well...let's start off slow and work our way up, shall we?” the unicorn suggested with a playful smirk, reaching down and pressing her hoof against Fluttershy's stiff pride, rubbing it gently up and down. “Wow...it's awfully hard, Fluttershy...”

twow: That’s usually how they work.

Derpy: So, how hard do they get?

twow: You’ve had a foal! You should know this!

“Mmnh...I c-can't help it...it got like that by itself...honest...” Fluttershy moaned softly to the teases, her member more sensitive to Twilight's touch than her own, another drop of pre escaping and smearing onto the unicorn's hoof while her wings spread out slowly in response to the gentle pleasure.

Fluttershy: What is this “pre?”

twow: I get it now. The torture isn’t riffing this. The torture is riffing this with THREE MARES.

“Mm, I see...” Twilight spoke in a somewhat sultry tone, gently grasping Fluttershy's upper body and with the help of her magic, slowly brought her down until she was laying on her back, all while her other hoof continued to gently stroke the pegasus' throbbing member up and down. With dirty thoughts now flowing freely through her mind, she was becoming quite aroused as well, only moistening even more between her legs.

Twilight: And there goes the last of my actual personality.

twow: It got replaced by the smexy.

Derpy: Half the things you say I swear aren’t words.

Fluttershy panted softly as she laid on the floor, her wings still spread out while her member throbbed against Twilight's hoof; the pegasus glancing down to see Twilight kneeling between her legs now, lowering her head down toward Fluttershy's crotch and pressing her lips against the perky little nub on her udder.

Fluttershy: This is gonna turn into an endurance match, isn’t it?

twow: Very much so.

 “Ahh...Twilight...” she softly moaned as she felt the unicorn gently suckling and nibbling on the nipple, all while still stroking her stiff member up and down, only procuring more precum from it.

Twilight continued to gently suckle and purse her lips against the sensitive nipple for a few more moments, before dragging her tongue across the pegasus' crotch and to her member, giving it a long, slow lick from the base to the tip, slurping up the pre in the process. “Mm...what a taste...” she thought, grinning lustfully up at Fluttershy while her tongue swirled around the head of the stiff pride, only teasing the pegasus with even more pleasure.

twow: Tastes like chicken. (brutally smacked by Fluttershy)

Fluttershy: How dare you?!

Twilight: REALLY bad choice of words, twow.

“Oohh, my...!” Fluttershy moaned cutely from the unicorn's treatment, blushing hard again as she quickly felt the pressure building up inside her loins again. Rubbing it herself had felt good, but the combination of Twilight's hoof and tongue was even better, rapidly bringing her orgasm closer. “Don't...stop!”

Derpy: She wasn’t going to.

twow: “Eh, I’m bored now.”

Looking back down again, Twilight slowly closed her eyes and took the head of the pegasus' member into her mouth, pursing her lips around it while her tongue continued to swirl around the tip and tease the slit slightly.

Twilight: Can I just... NOT read about me having sex with a penis-endowed Fluttershy?

twow: Buckle up, Twilight. We still got eleven more chapters after this.

Twilight: Please tell me I don’t have to stick around for all of them...

 As she slowly took inch after inch of the thick length into her mouth, her hoof moved down further, gently pressing underneath the two hefty orbs and beginning to massage and fondle them, only bringing the pegasus even more pleasure.

Fluttershy: Wouldn’t that hurt?

Derpy: Only if she hits them.

twow: (shudders)

She had nearly half of the length in her mouth before she felt it throb harder, opening her eyes slightly and glancing up toward Fluttershy, who cried out in bliss as her orgasm hit her suddenly. “Mmpmmh!” Twilight mumbled around the pegasus' member as it erupted in her mouth, gushing thick shots of sticky seed down her throat, causing her to cough a bit as she tried to swallow it.

twow: (makes a move as if to walk away.)

Fluttershy: (pulling him back) If I have to read this, you have to read this.

Derpy: I can’t help but notice that Twilight is really good at this...

Quickly pulling her head back, she coughed a couple more times, closing her eyes as more of the steamy fluids splashed her face; Fluttershy's member standing straight up as it kept spurting everywhere, splashing all over Twilight's face as well as onto her own crotch as well.

Twilight: It’s going to take more than napkins to clean that up.

twow: Tongues work well.

Twilight: And now I’ll never feel clean again.

“Nnnh, great Celestia, Fluttershy!” Twilight groaned in annoyance, but still enjoying the facial somewhat, despite being surprised by it. “You came already?” she continued as she slightly opened one eye, seeing Fluttershy's orgasm had stopped after a few more moments, the pegasus panting heavily with a blissful look on her face.

twow: I wouldn’t mind meeting the author who wrote those sex books.

Fluttershy: Her name was “Hard B. Gon.”

“Ooohh...Twilight...that felt heavenly...” Fluttershy said between her panting, smiling up at Twilight as she basked in her afterglow. “Hehe...looks like I made a mess...sorry.” she giggled softly, oblivious to the fact that her member was still quite stiff and aroused.

Fluttershy: Wait, if it’s still hard...

Derpy: Yup. Round two. (rings gong)

twow: Where the hell did you get that?!

“Well, jeez! I didn't know you were so sensitive.” Twilight chuckled a bit, sitting up as she levitated a couple paper towels over and wiped her face clean.

“I didn't know I was so sensitive either...I didn't cum that fast when I was just rubbing it, myself.” Fluttershy admitted with a blush. “I'm sorry for cumming so fast...it just felt so good.”

twow: To be honest, Fluttershy’s always been a little sensitive. No offence.

Fluttershy: None taken.

Derpy: I always thought it was a matter of stamina.

Twilight: I am NOT researching this later.

“Don't worry about it, Fluttershy.” The unicorn reassured her, tossing the dirty paper towel into a nearby trash bin. “You had an orgasm, so it should get soft again soon.” she added, reaching down again and lightly pressing her hoof against Fluttershy's member, raising an eyebrow slightly as she felt it throb against her hoof, seemingly still as hard as ever and ready for another round of fun. The soft glow from magic was still present, but dimmer than before.

Twilight: Part of me is wondering if the princess KNEW that Fluttershy was going to have sex with other ponies...

twow: And tailored her magic accordingly? I wouldn’t be surprised.

“Are you sure, Twilight? It still feels really hard...nnh...and I still feel a little horny...” Fluttershy spoke softly, sighing happily from the gentle pleasure of the hoof against her member.

Fluttershy: I suppose my prayer of this ending quickly was too much to be answered.

“This is strange...you still feel horny? Really?” Twilight's eyebrow raised a little more in confusion while her hoof started to gently rub up and down the pegasus' stiff pride, only making her moan quietly in pleasure. “Very strange...males usually exhibit fatigue and decreased levels of arousal right after an orgasm...why is it still so hard?”

Derpy: She does have a point. Fluttershy usually doesn’t do that much strenuous exercise. There isn’t any reason why she’s not tired.

Fluttershy: That’s part of the reason why I live on the ground.

twow: I need to call pacing and give it an extended leave.

“Oooh...I don't know...but it's so sensitive...!” Fluttershy moaned cutely as her eager member was rubbed, once more procuring pre from the slit, which smeared along Twilight's hoof.

twow: Only Fluttershy can do that cutely and it not be weird.

Twilight: Did you FORGET the situation that she’d doing it in?!

twow: Yup. Still fucking adorable.

“Hmph! Well if one orgasm doesn't do it, how about two?” The unicorn smirked playfully again, taking her hoof off of Fluttershy's pride before gently positioning herself on top of the aroused pegasus, lightly straddling her body, aligning her crotch with Fluttershy's while pressing her hooves gently onto Fluttershy's chest.

All three mares: ...

twow: OOC behavior! Yup...YUP...YUUUUUUUUUUUUP! Whoa. I just completely lost my train of thought.

“Twilight, nnh, are you sure you want to...?” Fluttershy asked as she looked up, wincing softly from the feeling of her stiff member rubbing against Twilight's moist snatch.

Twilight and Fluttershy: NO!

“Of course, Fluttershy...I don't want to leave you all worked up like this...don't really want to leave myself all worked up either.” Twilight giggled softly, grinning down at Fluttershy, lightly grinding along her throbbing endowment, a small amount of her moistness smearing along the length. “All this studying makes me a little lonely, you know?”

Derpy: Why doesn’t she just go out and be with her friends then?!

twow: She does. This is a plot point for sexy times.

Fallen: (from TV) And it doesn’t stay among the six of you either.

Twilight and Fluttershy: WHAT?!

“O-Okay...if you want to...” Fluttershy smiled softly in return, reaching up and gently grasping Twilight's flanks, her hooves right over the two cutie marks. “Is this where I'm supposed to hold you? I think I've seen this position before...am I doing it right?”

twow: She saw that position on “Playmare.”

“Hehe...that's right, Fluttershy.” The unicorn nodded, trying to keep from giggling as she gently rubbed her hooves along Fluttershy's chest. Her horn glowed softly as she cast an enchantment on herself down below, temporarily preventing any sperm from impregnating her. She wasn't quite sure if that was possible considering that the penis was an alteration spell, but she didn't want to take any chances.

Twilight: Well, at least I used protection?

twow: If Fluttershy actually DID get you pregnant, that would have been fucked up.

Fallen: (from TV) I think you mean KNOCKED up. (smacked by Pinkie)

Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, Chapter 2

(I love that you’re still doing this to yourself.)

It’s not like I have a choice. Hush.

Anyway, here we are at chapter two of Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, not that I’m happy to be here.

(Oh, but I am. Your pain is my pleasure.)

When you put it like that...ew.

Anyway this chapter is Rarity’s which should be just fucking wonderful to read though. And as I don’t want to sit here and delay the inevitable, let’s go ahead and get started.

I bring to you the second chapter of Fluttershy’s Week-Long Foot-Long. EGH.

(A story so nice, we riffed it twice.)

Oh shut the hell up Fallen.

twow: Ahh, there’s nothing like a fresh game of Laser Tag.

Fluttershy: Yeah, but you used real lasers!

twow: Sorry, I needed to make sure that they would work.

Fluttershy: I like you twow, but I don’t know if you are completely sane.

twow: I’m saner than Pinkie is.

Fluttershy: How?

twow: I’m not the one that’s forcing us to read that story, am I?

Fluttershy: You do have a point...

Fallen Prime: (from TV) Oh, that’s not fair. The story’s my fault; don’t use Pinkie as a scapegoat.

twow: He’s right. HE’S the one that’s fucked up in the head.

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Hi twow! Hi Fluttershy! How are you two?

Fluttershy: I’m stuck in Derpy’s basement after almost being cut in half. How do you think?

twow: I said I was sorry...

Fallen: Well, you two can continue fighting to the death later. In the meantime, we need to get the futa ball rolling again.

twow: Ugh. Fine. Whose chapter is this?

Pinkie: She’s on her way now!

(The lab doors open to allow Rarity inside, and close after she enters.)

Rarity: Hello twow and Fluttershy. And is that Pinkie Pie and Fallen Prime on the screen?

twow: Yes. Now ask why you’re here.

Rarity: ...oh dear.

Fallen: Rarity! A pleasure as always. Ready to riff your chapter of “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long?”

Rarity: This isn’t another story like “Rarity’s Generous Plan” is it?

Fluttershy: It’s much worse.

twow: Basically...ya know what? Fallen, the floor is yours.

Fallen: The story’s about Fluttershy getting a penis from Celestia as punishment for not inviting her to her and Luna’s bondage sessions, and so far, she’s jacked herself off and had sex with Twilight. This chapter, it’s your turn to ride her pole.

Rarity: ...

twow: This is not gonna be fun.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

All characters © Hasbro

twow: No shit? I thought they were owned by Sony!

CONTAINS: Futashy. (Fluttershy with a dick, if you didn't know.) If you don't wanna read about Fluttershy with a dick, close the page now.

Rarity: I would rather not read about this...

twow: I click it and it won’t go away! GO AWAY!!!

The exhausted pegasus slept peacefully through the night, resting up nicely after the tiring fun she had last night.

twow: The best kind of fun is when it’s tiring.

Fluttershy: Or if it wakes you up.

 She finally awoke as the sun was just beginning to peek in through the window, her body clock accustomed to waking up that early, due to her rooster always crowing at that time. It was about 6:45AM when she opened her eyes slowly, yawning quietly and stretching her legs a bit.

Rarity: That is...rather early.

twow: I miss waking up at 7:30.

“What a great sleep...” Fluttershy thought to herself, sighing happily as she rolled over onto her back again, though blinking a bit in surprise as she felt that familiar tingly pleasure again from a soft rubbing against the blanket; looking down the bed to see a large tent in the blanket.

Fluttershy: “I forgot my sleeping bag!”

twow: “I brought the smores!”

“Huh...?” she thought out loud, grabbing the blanket and tossing it off of herself, eyes widening a bit in surprise as she saw her member again, fully hard and lightly throbbing as it stood straight up from her crotch.

Rarity: It started already, didn’t it?

Fluttershy: I can’t handle it!

twow: Remember Flutters, tear the story apart. It’ll help.

Fluttershy: (taking deep breaths) I’ll try. Thank you twow.

twow: We just started. Damn you Fallen.

“Why is it hard? I was asleep...” she thought, honestly clueless as to why her endowment was aroused, having never really noticed or thought about it, despite the few nights she spent with Big Macintosh.

twow: Always...

Fluttershy: I’m with Big Macintosh AGAIN?!

twow: I swear, it’s in EVERY STORY.

 “I don't get it, how did it get hard while I was asleep?” she pondered, glancing around the room and seeing Spike still snoring happily in his bed, but Twilight's bed was empty, and looked as if it hadn't been used.

Rarity: I assumed she slept in there last night?

twow: She floated in ecstasy after last night.

The confused pegasus carefully got out of the bed and walked over to the staircase, peeking down into the main library and seeing Twilight still at her desk, though laying on the floor in front of it with an unlit candle next to her, her head laying on an open book as she breathed quietly in her sleep.

twow: Huh. I was wrong.

Fluttershy: Aw, that’s cute.

twow: Should you be thinking that when you have a raging boner?

Fluttershy: I was going to her for help with that anyway!

 Fluttershy lightly tip-toed down the stairs and into the kitchen again, closing the door behind her. Looking between her legs, her member was still stiff as ever.

“I'll have to take care of it myself, I guess...” she thought, wanting to just fly back to her home, but not wanting to risk being spotted by one of the early risers in Ponyville.

twow: Or you could fly straight up and hide on a cloud.

 Figuring it was the best place to relieve herself, she entered the bathroom and locked the door, before climbing into the bathtub. It was more like a jacuzzi from its size and shape, giving her some leg room as she sat down against the side.

Rarity: I didn’t know Twilight was so extravagant!

twow: I don’t even think she knows.

Once she was comfortable, she reached down and gently grasped her eager pride, starting to slowly stroke the length up and down like she had done before.

Fluttershy: As much as I would love to read about my masterbation, I believe there was some sort of a story here?

Rarity: Wonderful Fluttershy!

 As the tingly pleasure washed over her, she laid her head back along the edge of the tub, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the feeling; her member throbbing against her hoof as she stroked it, a drop of pre smearing onto her hoof.

twow: UGH.

Fluttershy: Here we go again...

Rarity: Can I take a rain check on this one?

Fallen: (from TV) SIT.

“Ooooh yes...” she thought, biting her lower lip gently to stifle her moans (despite the fact that they were already quiet)

twow: Thanks for pointing out that. Never woulda guessed.

 while she continued stroking herself, gradually accelerating as her pleasure grew; precum smearing onto her hoof already as her orgasm built up rather quickly. Remembering what Twilight had done last night, she reached down with her other hoof, and began to gently massage and fondle the two orbs hanging below her member.

Rarity: Wouldn’t that hurt?

Fluttershy: Only if I squeezed them.

twow: (shudders)

They were quite sensitive to touch, only pushing her pleasure higher as she fondled them and continued quickly stroking her pride, blushing and biting her lip more as she felt that familiar pressure building up in her loins.

twow: “We have clearance to launch!”

 She could feel her member throbbing harder against her hoof, while her other hoof was lightly smeared with juices from her moist nether lips, brushing against them as she rubbed her hefty orbs.

Rarity: So, you have BOTH of your parts?!

Fluttershy: Yes.

Rarity: But...why?!

twow: Celestia decided to be a royal cunt.

It only took about another minute of vigorous stroking before she felt her pleasure peaking again. All of the built-up pressure released at once as her orgasm hit, causing her to cry out blissfully as her member throbbed wildly, gushing thick shots of seed out in front of her and onto the floor of the bathtub.

twow: Why do I have the feeling that she unloads then most men?

 By the time her orgasm had subsided, she had painted a good amount of the floor and the tub wall opposite her with white streaks, along with a few splotches on her legs.

twow: The real way to paint.

Rarity: “And...it’s all natural!”

“So wonderful...” the blissful pegasus thought as she slowly opened her eyes again after a few more moments, glancing at the mess she had made in front of her and blinking a bit in surprise.

Fluttershy: “That was more than I expected!”

“Wow...that much?” she thought, the mess looking like a lot more than the previous time she had masturbated. “How do stallions deal with this?

twow: Probably without as much effort.

Fluttershy: Or shame.

 Oh well...I really should shower, anyways.” she thought with a soft giggle, taking in a breath through her nostrils, the scent of the sticky fluids very thick in the air.

twow: “Better clean dat ass up!”

Looking to her left, she spotted the shower nozzle with a hose attached to the wall, reaching over and picking it up while her other hoof turned the knob below it, causing water to shoot from the nozzle.

Rarity: So THAT’S how a shower works?!

Fluttershy: I guess I always take baths.

 Carefully aiming it, she washed away all of the sticky fluids, making sure all of it went down the drain before turning the nozzle toward herself and washing off the small amount that had splashed onto her coat.

twow: Did you point it right at your body? If you aimed it at the wall, none should have really gotten on you.

Fluttershy: And how do you know this?

twow: I’m a male...

Fluttershy sighed contently as the hot water flowed over her body, putting the shower head back onto the little holster on the wall and standing under the stream, her mane matting against her body as it became soaking wet with water.

twow: Kinky. (smacked by Fluttershy)

Rarity: I cannot stand my mane wet.

twow: Why not?

Rarity: I’ve been stared at.

twow: Can't imagine why.

 Glancing over to a little cubby-like opening on the wall, she spotted a cream-colored bar of soap, reaching over and grabbing it before bringing it up to her snout and inhaling the scent.

twow: Ah damn. She’s addicted to vanilla.

Fluttershy: At least it’s not bath salts.

 “Oooh, Vanilla. Such a lovely scent!” she thought with a smile, before starting to rub the soap along her body, gently scrubbing it against her coat; the strong vanilla scent covering up any body odors from her previous 'fun'.

Rarity: Wouldn’t the smell of vanilla make others more suspicious?

Once she had cleaned herself decently, she shut off the shower and grabbed the closest towel, drying herself off and stepping out of the tub again.

Fluttershy: When did I step out of the tub before?

 After straightening her hair with Twilight's comb, she was about to turn and leave, but as she did, she got a view of her body in the large mirror that was on the back of the door. Her balls were easily visible, at least from this angle. “Oh my...I can't go out like this...I'll need to wear something to cover it up, I guess.” she thought as she opened the door and left.

twow: Unless you WANT ponies to stare at your jewels.

Pinkie: (from TV) Are they rubies?!

All: (Facepalm/hoof)

Taking a quick glance into the library, Twilight was still sound asleep on the floor; the pegasus quietly walking past her and to the door, opening and closing it as slow and quietly as she could as she left.

twow: Which knowing Fluttershy, wouldn’t have made a damn sound.

 Once outside, she looked up into the sky, seeing that the sun was just over the horizon and rising, as it was just about 7:45AM now. Most of the early risers in Ponyville would be out and about by now, so Fluttershy had to come up with a way to get across town to her house without being spotted.

Rarity: Hmmm, you DO have two wings attached to your sides.

twow: Flying: It’s not for the futa.

Fallen: (from TV) I am THIS close to demanding an aerial bonus chapter from the author JUST because you said that.

twow: NOW you chime in. And I think he’s done with bonus chapters, so I’m relieved.

Fallen: That’s why the story’s still marked Incomplete.

“Hm...I could try and fly around town...oh, but that would take too long, my chickens might starve!” she thought, biting her lower lip slightly, looking up into the sky again and spotting a lone cloud, getting an idea quickly.

Fluttershy: Well, I guess...

twow: Please Flutters. I’m sure that they’d be fine until you got back.

 “Aha, I can use that for cover...” she thought as she  flapped her wings and flew up toward the cloud, though as she flew into it, she bumped into somepony, expecting that the could would be empty.

Rarity: I’d say that she’s using logic, but I am also not believing that Rainbow would be on that ONE CLOUD.

Fluttershy: What makes you say that?

twow: Just wait for it...

“Aghh!! Who's that, who's there?!” came an alarmed-sounding voice while Fluttershy recoiled from the rough impact, shaking her head and opening her eyes again to see that it was none other than Rainbow Dash, who had been sleeping on the lone cloud.

Fluttershy: ...

twow: It’s like clockwork now.

 The rainbow-maned pony groaned in annoyance as she looked over the edge of the cloud, too dazed from being rudely awoken to notice Fluttershy's new “equipment” before the yellow pegasus flew up close to the cloud, keeping her lower body underneath it and out of sight. “Fluttershy? What's the big idea?” she asked angrily, glaring at Fluttershy.

twow: “Sorry Rainbow, but I needed some convoluted way to hide my dick!”

Fluttershy: “Could I bury it in your cloud for a while?”

Rarity: “I’ll return it....if you want me to that is...”

Fallen: (from TV) Pfft. Once SHE’S done with it? (smacked by Pinkie) Oh, COME ON!

“Oh, I'm so sorry Rainbow, I didn't see you there...” Fluttershy spoke quietly with an embarrassed blush, trying not to sound nervous in front of her friend, not really knowing whether or not she had seen anything 'down below'. “I just needed to borrow this cloud for a moment...if that's okay with you.”

Rarity: You cannot use that joke again twow.

twow: Please?

Rarity: NO!

“Borrow it? For what?” Rainbow Dash asked, raising an eyebrow. “What could you possibly need a cloud for?”

twow: It’s RIGHT THERE!

Rarity: So help me...

“Oh, um...I...uh...” Fluttershy stammered, bringing her hoof to her snout as she quickly thought up of an excuse. “I...need it for...Derpy! Yes, Derpy, she asked me to bring her a cloud just this size, need to deliver it to her this morning.” she answered with a nervous smile.

Fluttershy: Because Derpy can’t just go get her own clouds.

twow: She’s usually in here. I have no regrets.

“Really?” Rainbow questioned, eyebrow still raised inquisitively. “And what exactly would she need a cloud this exact size for, anyway?” she asked, about to press Fluttershy further, but remembering that Derpy wasn't exactly the sharpest crayon in the box, so it would most likely be a frivolous reason.

Derpy: That’s not true! What if Dinky needed it?!

twow: HOW THE FU-

 “Oh, whatever. I was just about to wake up anyways.” she yawned and stretched her arms a bit, seeing the sun coming up over the horizon. “Twilight said she'd read the new Daring Do book with me today.” she added with a grin.

Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash reading at THIS hour?!

Rarity: She isn’t up until ten. At the EARLIEST.

“Oh, how wonderful.” Fluttershy replied, keeping her smile while Rainbow Dash hopped up off of the cloud, causing Fluttershy to quickly move the cloud closer to her body in an attempt to keep her lower half hidden.

Fluttershy: “Like my new costume?”

twow: “What are you?”

Fluttershy: “I’m a cloud!”

Rarity: “Duh.”

 “Well, you have fun now! I'm gonna go...deliver this to Derpy.” she added, before taking off in a hurry, keeping the cloud close to her body as she flew towards her house.

Rarity: I’m wondering why Rainbow isn’t pursuing the matter.

twow: Hell, I’m wondering why Fluttershy didn’t tell Rainbow what happened? She’s been friends with her longer than any other of you girls.

“Huh...wonder what her deal is.” Rainbow Dash thought, rubbing her chin a bit, before shrugging and grinning down toward Twilight's library. “Daring Do and the Griffon's Goblet, here I come!”

twow: Oh hai Harry Potter reference!

Meanwhile, Fluttershy continued to swiftly fly toward her home, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure nopony was following her, before slipping into the cloud, completely concealing her body, except for her wings of course, which stuck out of the top as they flapped. It reduced her speed somewhat, but at least nopony would recognize her.

Fluttershy: But EVERYPONY would wonder what that is.

Rarity: Cloud with wings. Happens everyday.

twow: Only in Equestria.

She reached her home a couple minutes later, floating down to the door and reaching her hoof out of the cloud, opening the door and quickly entering, leaving the cloud to float back up into the sky.

twow: So much effort...

Fluttershy; Excuse me for wanting to keep myself decent!

“Whew, that was easy enough.” she thought, closing the door behind her, turning around to find all of her indoor animals together in the middle of the room, staring up at her with pleading eyes.

Rarity and Fluttershy: Awwww!

twow: I would have lost so many man points if I had walked in that room.

“Oh, don't worry, I'm here to feed you now.” she smiled, quickly getting to work on getting each animal fed, before heading back outside again to feed all of the outdoor animals.

Rarity: Knowing her, that took all of three seconds.

twow: That’s two seconds too long Rare.

Once she was finished with everything, it was just past 9:00, leaving her some time to herself before her weekly spa meeting with Rarity. Though she was stuck trying to decide if she was going to attend or not.

Fluttershy: Why would I not attend?

twow: Did you forget about the penis between your legs?

Fluttershy: It’s not like she won’t understand!

Rarity: Seeing as how Fallen is ecstatic about this riff, I can only assume that this will end with me having sex with her.

twow: Well this IS your chapter...

 “She won't care...or will she? I mean...we're close enough friends that she'd understand...” she thought to herself as she lounged on her couch, sighing softly. “Well...I'm going to have to leave eventually, I can't just stay in here all week.” she thought, standing up again and looking over toward the closet on the opposite side of the room.

twow: Sure you can!

Fluttershy: I have responsibilities, you know.

twow: And all of them are at your house.

“I guess I could wear a dress to cover myself up.” Fluttershy thought as she approached the closet and opened it, glancing at all the dresses hanging inside. She did sew from time to time, when she had a bit of free time after feeding her animals, but didn't really use the dresses for anything like Rarity would.

twow: You mean, never wearing them.

Rarity: It’s not like I’m wearing them all the time...

 Opting for something simple, she took down the turquoise dress that Rarity had made for her a while ago, slipping it on before standing in front of the mirror on the back of the door, glancing at her reflection. “Wow, this looks better than I remember.” she thought with a smile.

twow: Putting an adorable ball of cute in a dress is a duh moment.

Rarity: What do you mean twow?

twow: (stammering) Well...uh..

Fluttershy: (blushing) Could we go back to the story now?

Fallen: (from TV) You WANT to keep going? Wow, twow, you’re worse than the story.

Content with her clothing, she headed out once more, the sun higher in the sky now that it was later in the morning; Ponyville now bustling with activity in the distance. With a few soft flaps of her wings, she took to the air again, this time going toward the spa.

twow: Do you two ever hang out anywhere else?

Rarity: Sometimes.

 After a short flight across town, she landed gracefully in front of the spa; the bell on the door ringing as she entered, immediately greeted by Aloe, just like every week.

twow: I’ve always wondered if they are the only ones that work there.

Fluttershy: More or less.

Rarity: The two of them work overtime a lot.

“Here early again, dear?” the spa worker pony asked with her usual sweet tone, already carrying a bathrobe with her, hanging it up on a hook next to the entrance to the spa area. “A lovely dress you're wearing too, I must say.”

Fluttershy: “I know that I’ll be removing it soon, but thanks!”

“Hehe, you know I like to read the magazines here, Aloe.” Fluttershy giggled softly, walking over to the waiting area and taking a seat on one of the chairs.

Rarity: Quite the excuse.

twow: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Magazines are awesome.

 “Thanks, Rarity made it for me a while ago. I love it.” she added with a smile before grabbing one of the magazines on the rack, opening it up and starting to flip through the pages. She glanced up at the clock on the wall, reading 9:47AM. Rarity usually didn't arrive until 10, so she had a little while to wait.

twow: And you thought you would be late...

Fluttershy: I guess I didn’t want to take that chance.

As she flipped through the magazine though, she couldn't help but think about whether or not she was going to tell Rarity about what had happened, or wait until later.

Rarity: Probably tell me.

Fluttershy: Probably SHOW you.

twow: Probably fuck you. (slapped by both mares) What?! You know it’s gonna happen!

 Either way, she wanted to stay covered up for now, so she continued reading for a few more minutes before setting the magazine down and getting up, grabbing the bathrobe and going into the changing room. She came back out again dressed in the white bathrobe, hanging the turquoise dress on the hook where the robe was before, looking back up at the clock again and seeing that it was just a couple minutes before 10.

twow: Riveting stuff right here.

Rarity: I am on the edge of my seat.

And right on schedule, the fashionista unicorn walked through the front door, smiling as she saw Fluttershy. “Good morning, Fluttershy! Girls, the usual!” she spoke, grabbing her embroidered bathrobe off the hook and quickly changing into it before joining Fluttershy in the front room.

twow: How long do you have to go to a place before you can say “the usual” and have them INSTANTLY know what you mean?

Fluttershy: Quite often.

“Let's go, shall we?” she added with a smile toward the pegasus, who returned the smile as they both followed Lotus into the spa area.

Rarity: Well, this isn’t bad?

Fluttershy: twow...

twow: Yup. Break time.

Fallen: (from TV) You three are still alive? Wow.

twow: Egh.

Fluttershy: I feel dead inside.

Rarity: Only thing I can say is that is hasn’t been horrible. So far.

Fallen: That’s because you haven’t hit the sex yet.

twow: BLUH.

Rarity: I think your lack of emotion is starting to frighten me twow.

Fallen: If you ask me, it’s a sign that the story’s finally doing its job.

Fluttershy: Stories like this are not good for anypony.

twow: Bit of an understatement Flutters. At least WE know what’s coming up. Rarity, on the other hand...

Rarity: As thrilled as I am to read about myself having sex with my friend, I would rather it happened so that I can leave here.

Fallen: All in due time, my friend. You’ll get your taste of Futashy soon enough. Literally, as you can imagine.

Rarity: FALLEN PRIME!

twow: And you said I went too far...

Fallen: Ooh, both names. Somepony’s piiiiiiiiiissed...

Fluttershy: Fallen, I think that you’re getting a little too much joy out of this.

twow: He fucking gets off at this shit. Guarantee.

Fallen: Yeah, no. I don’t deny the existence of my sadism, but it has its limits. I’ve yet to meet ‘em, though.

twow: This coming from the person that takes glee in torturing his friends by making them read futa clop.

Fallen: Bitch, I made them read “pRince Martin Willis.” This is a breeze compared to this.

twow: Not for ME. I never read that.

Rarity: And if you enjoy your brain, you never will.

Fallen: Whether or not he reads it depends on whether or not Ienjoy his brain. If he’s still whole after this, I may just have to inflict it on him.

twow: Like hell you will. I’ve learned my lesson about betting with you.

Fallen: You said that last time too.

twow: That was before I was forced to read about my favorite pony HAVING A DICK!

Fallen: The last bet led to you reading about her getting her unborn foal eaten via tentacle rape. You didn’t learn then, and you won’t now.

Fluttershy: I was hoping to never think about that again.

twow: Damn you fallen prime!!

Fallen: I think you kids have had your fun.

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

“How are you this morning, Rarity?” Fluttershy asked as they both walked into the sauna, sitting down on the wooden bench, Fluttershy making sure to sit in a position that would make her bathrobe fully cover her crotch.

twow: “Please don’t notice this obvious way I have my robe.”

“Oh, positively wonderful! Well, at least now I am.” Rarity giggled softly. “I just finished up a large order for Hoity Toity, this spa day is more than deserved!” she explained, smiling over at Fluttershy. “And how about you?”

Rarity and Fluttershy: DON’T YOU DARE.

twow: I got Fallen in one ear and you two in the other. UGH.

“Me? Oh, nothing special, just life as usual.” Fluttershy lied, giggling a little bit as well, trying to relax and forget about her current situation.

twow: “And by the way, I can piss standing up now!” (smacked by both mares.)

 After a couple more minutes of idle chatter in the sauna, they stepped out and went over to the massage area, climbing up onto the tables and laying belly-down on them.

Rarity: I’m surprised the story didn’t take another thousand words to detail our conversation.

twow: It’s speeding up to the sex.

Fluttershy: yay...

 The usual blonde-maned stallion came over to Rarity's table, while Aloe stepped up to Fluttershy, both of them beginning their usual massages.

“Mmm...I could never tire of this...” Rarity sighed blissfully, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the expert massage. “I wish every day could be spa day!”

twow: I hope that Fluttershy doesn’t get her stomach rubbed.

Fluttershy: ...What?

“Hehe, yeah...” Fluttershy smiled, closing her eyes as well as she received the more gentle massage, always enjoying the work of Aloe's hooves.

Fluttershy and Rarity: DON’T YOU DARE.

twow: It’s RIGHT the fuck there!

 After the massage, they went on to the usual facelift, mud bath, and everything else included in “the usual”, before ending up at the final part: the hot tub. Fluttershy was completely relaxed by now, all the nervous thoughts about her situation now gone, before she remembered that she would have to take off her bathrobe to get into the hot tub

twow: Or just wear it...

Rarity: You can’t wear a robe in a hot tub!

twow: They wash, right? There’s no reason she can’t keep it on.

. “Oh no...I can't let Rarity see me...” she thought, biting her lower lip softly.

twow: Kinky. (smacked by both mares.)

“I've...got to use the little filly's room. I'll be right back.” she told Rarity, before heading to the bathroom as inconspicuously as she could, and removing her bathrobe once she was inside.

Fluttershy: I wasn’t aroused. Why did I try to sneak there?

twow: The power of the Flutter.

 She waited a couple moments as to not seem suspicious, before peeking out of the door again, seeing that Rarity had already climbed into the hot tub, with her back turned to the bathroom. Holding the bathrobe close to her body, she slowly walked out of the bathroom and towards the tub, being as quiet as she could.

Rarity: What had been the point of that again?

Fluttershy: I tricked you into turning your back.

twow: If I was anyone but me, I’d have made a rape joke right there.

As she stepped into the tub, she saw that Rarity had her eyes closed, the unicorn greatly enjoying the steamy water. “Whew...” Fluttershy thought to herself, quickly moving into the water and placing her bathrobe beside the tub, biting her lip gently from the suddenness of the temperature change.

Fluttershy: At this rate, I’m not going to HAVE a lip.

 She sat down against the wall of the tub, sighing contently as her body became accustomed to the steamy water, her head resting gently on the edge of the tub. “Whew...what a relaxing day.” she thought out loud, smiling softly over at Rarity.

twow: Besides all the stress of HAVING A DICK.

Rarity: And having to hide it from everypony.

“Mm hmm...I wish we could come here more often, but a fashionista's work is never done!” Rarity smiled back, resting her head on a small pillow positioned at the edge of the tub. “It just seems like as soon as I finish one order, five more come in.” she continued, giggling softly.

twow: That’s a GOOD thing.

Fluttershy: Yes, but what about time to relax?

twow: You’re having it now. Hell, I wonder how Rarity can even afford these trips.

 “Why, I've got half a mind to just...” she continued talking, going on and on about her career, not really realizing that she was rambling, but Fluttershy didn't mind much.

twow: I wonder why.

Rarity: twow...

twow: I’m talking about being in the hot tub. I wouldn’t care either.

In fact, listening to the stories Rarity was telling only helped her to relax more as she enjoyed the steamy bath, sighing contently as she mid-closed her eyes, nodding every once in a while to Rarity's talking.

twow: “Yeah, yeah...”

Fluttershy: “Please, continue...”

 However, she had become so relaxed by listening to Rarity and enjoying the heat that she didn't notice the soft, tingly feeling between her legs; becoming a little TOO relaxed now, causing her body to go onto an 'autopilot' of sorts, remembering what usually came next when she became this relaxed.

Fluttershy: Wait, really?

Rarity: Is that how it works?

twow: No, not really. Granted, half the time I’m agitated when I’m in here, but when I’m relaxed I don’t get hard.

Continuing to rest against the side of the tub, she listened to Rarity's chatter further, though after another couple of minutes, she noticed that Rarity had stopped talking, snapping out of her relaxed state and looking over toward Rarity.

twow: “Ahh! There’s a fucking snake!”

Rarity: “Kill it with everything!

 Fluttershy's eyes opened fully again as she noticed the look on Rarity's face; one of surprise, confusion, and slight disgust. “Uh...Rarity...? What's wrong?”

“Th-that...thing!” Rarity stammered, pointing her hoof toward Fluttershy's crotch, putting her other hoof to her mouth. “What is it?!”

Fallen: (from TV) “My dick. What of it?” (smacked by Fluttershy)

twow: WUT.

Fallen: HOW!?

Pinkie: Don’t ask me!

“Oh, no...please don't be...” Fluttershy started, looking down at herself, her face instantly flushing bright red in embarrassment as she saw exactly what she was trying to hide; fully erect and throbbing softly, the tip of it just below the surface of the water.

twow: In the water. Geez, Fluttershy gets aroused faster than a dog in heat.

Rarity: Out of everything you could have said...

 She glanced back up again, her eyes meeting Rarity's for a second, her expression still completely speechless.

Fluttershy: My face had no words.

twow: Sounds evaded it.

 The pegasus groaned, not knowing what action to take, but as if by instinct, her wings started flapping as she practically jumped out of the tub, leaving a trail of water as she bolted over to the bathroom and slammed the door shut, not hearing Rarity call out to her.

twow: Instant reaction is to GTFO.

Rarity: And quite quickly.

Panting softly, she locked the door and looked down again at her erect pride, her face still bright red with embarrassment. “This isn't happening...this can't be happening...” she thought, trying her best not to panic, but not really succeeding.

twow: I just want to give her a hug...

Fluttershy: That would be a little strange, given my condi-

Rarity: Let him dream Fluttershy.

 “Okay, Fluttershy, just...calm down...sure, Rarity seemed very surprised but...she's your friend, she'll understand...I hope.” she thought, walking to the middle of the bathroom, using one of the towels to dry herself slightly.

Fluttershy: I wouldn’t have calmed down that quickly.

twow: Hell, I’m surprised you didn’t hyperventilate from this.

A few moments later, she heard soft footsteps approaching the door, before the door was knocked on gently three times.

“Fluttershy? Darling? Are you alright?” came a nervous-sounding Rarity from the other side of the door.

Rarity: Because she’d be just fine.

twow: Shhhh, Story Rarity is being stupid.

“Go away please, you don't want to see me like this...” Fluttershy answered quietly, looking down at her member again, still quite stiff and gently throbbing in time with her heartbeat.

“Oh, darling, I just want to talk to you. I'm worried...what was that thing?” Rarity continued, trying to turn the door handle, but finding it locked. “Will you at least let me come in?”

Rarity: ...

twow: How does she NOT know what that is?!

Fluttershy sighed softly, walking over to the door again and unlocking it, slowly pulling it open just wide enough for Rarity to enter. “You promise you won't tell anypony about this?”

Rarity: “Not a soul.”

Fluttershy: “Now if Gabby Gums finds out...”

“Fluttershy, deary, we're friends. I wouldn't tell anyone if my life depended on it.” Rarity answered as she entered, closing the door behind her, finding Fluttershy sitting down, crossing her legs and holding her front legs in front of her crotch. “Fluttershy...what's wrong? What are you hiding?”

All: HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!

“It's a long story, Rarity...” Fluttershy started, taking a deep breath before telling Rarity a shortened version of everything that had happened, up until going to see Twilight, in which she left out the sex part.

twow: I wish this story had a shortened version.

Fluttershy: You say that like Fallen would have given you that choice.

Fallen: (from TV) What, twelve inches is too long? Didn’t hear Twilight complaining.

Rarity: Fallen...

twow: Flutters, we might want to hide all the weapons in here.

By the end of the short story, Rarity was even more dumbfounded than previously. “I see...so you're stuck with that thing for a whole week?” she asked, blushing a bit now as well. She was also quite surprised to learn that Fluttershy enjoyed BDSM, something that she herself had dabbled in over the years.

twow: You didn’t tell her about the sex, but you told her about the bondage?

Fluttershy: How does that make any sense?

“Y-yeah...you don't hate me, do you?” the embarrassed pegasus asked, looking down at the floor. “I understand if you don't want to hang out with me for the week...”

Rarity: None of us would abandon our friends over something like that.

twow: Like if Flutters changed gender, right now? In this lab?

Rarity: She’d still be my friend.

twow: (rubs hands together)

Fluttershy: Don’t touch me with ANYTHING.

“Oh, Fluttershy, don't say such things!” Rarity consoled her, placing a hoof on her shoulder. “You're my closest friend, Fluttershy. I don't care what part of you is changed, you're still my friend.” she added, smiling a bit, Fluttershy looking back up at her and smiling a little as well, her blush fading slightly.

Fluttershy: What was the point of me hiding? I already knew that my friends wouldn’t abandon me!

twow: Hell, Twilight’s reaction should have clued you in.

“Thanks, Rarity...I was so worried that you wouldn't like me anymore...” she replied, taking her hooves out from in front of her crotch, figuring that Rarity had already seen it, so what would the difference be?

Rarity: The fact that this will lead into our sexual act.

The unicorn blinked in surprise though as she stared at the stiff member, seeming bigger now that she could see it clearly.

All: Ew.

“It certainly is...big.” Rarity spoke, biting her lower lip softly as she tried to hold back the countless dirty thoughts forcing their way into her head.

twow: Wow. Rarity’s quite the- (brutally smacked by Rarity)

Rarity: If you enjoy having a mouth, you will not finish that.

 Being Fluttershy's close friend, they did have casual sex once in a while, and this new endowment could only add even more fun to those times.

All: ...

Fallen: (from TV) I could say so many things right now, but all of them would lead to Rarity eviscerating me.

 “So...I guess you'll have to wait here until it gets soft again?”

twow: “Nope, I can walk around with it sticking out!”

Fluttershy: “It’s like a popsicle!”

twow: Damn Flutters...

“I don't know, Rarity. I've only had it for less than a day, but it's never gotten soft by itself.” Fluttershy admitted nervously. “It doesn't get soft again unless I cum...”

Rarity: .

twow: Oh boy...

Fluttershy: Is...is she okay?

twow: She is not.

Rarity blinked in confusion again, staring blankly at the pegasus. “Am I dreaming, or is Fluttershy indirectly asking me to have sex?” she thought. “Fluttershy, darling, you can't be serious. I think I've got a good grasp on how the male reproductive system works, it should soften by itself after a while.”

Rarity: ..

Fluttershy: I’m sure that Rarity knows what a penis is.

twow: If it wasn’t for the reason I’m trying to be respectful, SO MANY JOKES.

“Oh, but it doesn't...when I was with Twilight last night, it didn't get soft until after I orgasmed.” Fluttershy spoke quietly, blushing a bit again. “The first time, it was still hard. She had to make me cum twice before it finally got soft...but this morning, it only took one time.”

twow: Wanna know why it took twice?

Fluttershy: The reason?

twow: The reason.

“Twilight? Oh, goodness, you had sex with Twilight?” Rarity giggled, shaking her head. “That pony has her face in the books too much, she wouldn't know good sex if she had it every night.” she added, smiling a bit. “No wonder you didn't calm down until the second time!”

Rarity: ...

twow: Damn. That was rather harsh...

“Well, um...I think it's a lot more sensitive than a real one, Rarity.” Fluttershy added, shaking her head a bit. “When I play with it, I cum a lot faster than Big Macintosh...and Twilight said she was surprised at how fast I came.

Fluttershy: Wait, in her chapter it didn’t say that she was a virgin.

twow: Who the fuck was her first then?!

Fallen: (from TV) ...Shining Armor? (smacked by Twilight)

twow: HOW IN THE FUCK?!

It did feel really good, better than anything I'd ever felt before.” she continued, blushing a bit and smiling, her wings spreading out a bit as she remembered the feeling of Twilight's moist insides around her member.

twow and Fluttershy: HATE!

“Hm, really?” Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow again as she glanced down at the stiff member. “Sensitive...that's odd. But then again, it IS an alteration spell, you can't expect it to perfectly mimic a real one.” she explained. “But you say it won't soften up until you have an orgasm?”

twow: Oh, I know what this is leading up too...

Rarity: ....

Fluttershy: So does Rarity.

“Y-Yeah...” Fluttershy nodded, frowning a bit. “You don't have to help me, if you don't want to...I can always just rub it, myself...”

twow: BUT AS WE ALL KNOW.

Rarity looked up toward the pegasus' face again, smiling softly to her. “Oh, of course I'll help you, darling! I don't want to abandon you.” she spoke, gently stroking her hoof over Fluttershy's cheek.

Rarity: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

twow and Fluttershy: (move away from Rarity)

twow: I want out.

Fluttershy: Me too.

 “And besides...I can imagine this will be much more fun than the strap-on, right?” she added with a playful smirk. “A little quickie couldn't hurt...”

Rarity: WHEN I FIND THIS AUTHOR.

Fluttershy: Fallen, if you have any mercy...

twow: He doesn’t. But it’s break time. Right about yesterday.

Fallen: (from TV) And so it begins. Rarity, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Rarity: This story is horrible!

twow: And the sex hasn't even STARTED. Hell, Fluttershy’s not even raging.

Fluttershy: If I don’t move, they won’t see me.

twow: Fallen, can you see what you’ve done? Rarity’s about to massacre things and Fluttershy broke! Again!

Fallen: You’re not enjoying it either. That’s enough for me to keep going.

twow: At least I can form coherent words.

Rarity: Why is this dagger made out of ice?

twow: So if I stab anyone, it’ll melt and leave no trace. Why?

Rarity: Because a few people are going to die, and one of them we know well.

Fallen: Love you too, Rare.

twow: (takes dagger) How about we all relax? First off, Flutters, you knew this was gonna happen.

Fluttershy: I didn’t know Rarity was going to hate it so much.

twow: And Rarity, you knew this was going to happen as well.

Rarity: I would not have been so eager to have sex with my friend. And that was BEFORE the story outright said that we’d had it BEFORE!!

twow: I’d love nothing more than to let you both sit this out. But seeing as how Fallen won’t count it if I do it myself...

Fallen: You’re damn right I won’t.

twow: ...you two are gonna have to buck up and continue.

Fallen: Whilst I continue watching from the sidelines. Pinkie, pass me the popcorn, would you please?

Pinkie: (mouth full) Here ya go!

Fluttershy: Can I go home now?

twow: (hugging Fluttershy) We’ll watch a good movie after this. Or play a video game.  Can you keep going?

Fluttershy: (deep breath) I’ll try.

Rarity: And you didn’t try consoling me why?

twow: Because I didn’t want your hoof down my throat.

Rarity: Fair enough.

Fallen: You don’t really need consoling anyway, Rarity. You’re deceptively tough, and I’ve seen that in action quite thoroughly.

Rarity: Thank you Fallen. I am still going to cause you physical pain after this.

Fallen: Par for the course, I guess. Why don’t you go ahead and wrap up now, eh?

All: BLUH.

Fallen: Love the enthusiasm.

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

Fluttershy blushed brightly at first, before smiling back, nodding a bit. “Yeah...definitely a lot better.” she spoke quietly, backing up onto the shag rug in front of the sinks before spreading her legs, giving Rarity access to her crotch. “You can start however you'd like...whatever you wanna do is fine.”

twow: “Turn over.”

Fluttershy: “And bark.”

“If you insist.” Rarity replied with a grin, licking her lips softly as she approached, moving between Fluttershy's legs and reaching down, gently pressing her hoof against the pegasus' pride, feeling it throb softly against her hoof.

Rarity: “Just checking your pulse.”

 “Don't worry Fluttershy dear, I'll be sure to show you a much better time than Twilight ever will.” she added with a wink, starting to rub her hoof up and down the length of the stiff member.

twow: Burn?

“Ooh..g-go ahead, Rarity...” Fluttershy moaned softly from the teasing, smiling down at Rarity and leaning back on her front legs, watching as the white hoof rubbed up and down her pride a little longer, before Rarity's horn glowed its usual light blue color.

Rarity: I seem to be quite experienced.

twow: The story only said that you’ve fucked Fluttershy. Now we have the implication that you’re a whore. And that’s not a good thing.

 Fluttershy's two hefty balls were then surrounded by an identical glow, starting to feel as if they were being rubbed and fondled, only increasing her pleasure further. “Nnhh...that feels...nice...”

Fluttershy: “No, you throw them THROUGH the hoop!”

Rarity smiled as she worked her magic, still rubbing her hoof up and down the pegasus' member, feeling a drop of warm pre smearing across her hoof as well.

twow: It’s great with toast.

Fluttershy: Or bran muffins.

 “I'm just getting warmed up.” she added with a wink, before lowering her head down further toward Fluttershy's crotch, extending her tongue out and starting to gently tease the head of the pegasus' member with it, tasting the warm droplets of pre that were escaping from the slit as well.

twow: Well. I just learned something.

Rarity: I’d rather you didn’t elaborate.

“Mmm, certainly tastes different from a male's...” she thought, swirling her tongue around the head while her hoof continued to stroke the length.

Fluttershy: No, really?! It’s only on a MARE!

twow: The blunt stupidity hurts my brain.

 All the teasing was quickly bringing Fluttershy's orgasm on, much faster than Rarity was expecting, producing even more precum while her member throbbed harder against the soft hoof.

twow: “Gotta go fast!”

After a few more moments of teasing slurps, she opened her mouth and slid the head and first few inches inside, her tongue continuing to stroke down the length, rubbing over the underside of the head as well, knowing that it was the most sensitive part.

Fluttershy: It is?

twow: Don’t look at me like I’m going to answer that.

(Fluttershy gives twow puppy eyes)

twow: Yes, it is.

Fallen: (from TV) ...Fluttershy, has Lyra been giving you questions to ask him about human penises?

“Ooohh...R-Rarity...!” Fluttershy moaned, gently putting one hoof on Rarity's head as if by instinct, feeling her orgasm very close already; a shock of pleasure coursing through her member each time Rarity's tongue slurped over the sensitive spot. “I'm...g-getting close...already!” she moaned, panting between her moans while she continued to gently hold onto Rarity's head.

Rarity: I never thought I’d say this in this context, but thank Celestia for that.

Fluttershy: I’d like to think I’d last a little longer.

twow: Did I want to know that?

“Good heavens, already? She wasn't kidding...” Rarity thought, glancing up at Fluttershy, before back down again, closing her eyes as she began to bob her head up and down, pursing her lips tightly around the throbbing pole as it slid in and out of her mouth, her tongue gliding along the underside of it as well.

twow: One, she’s a female, two, she’s not used to it and three, it’s Fluttershy.

Her horn was still glowing as she used her magic to massage Fluttershy's balls, only adding to the pegasus' pleasure. Rarity was becoming quite aroused herself by now, her lower lips moistening up nicely as she continued her expert oral work.

twow: All that ChapStick helped.

Rarity: It was Cherry flavored.

Fallen: (from TV) No way in HELL she still has her cherry.

It only took a few more moments of sucking though before Fluttershy cried out in bliss, her hips bucking forward again, surprising Rarity as the throbbing shaft was forced into her throat, causing her to quickly pull her head back slightly just as the torrent of steamy seed came gushing out.

Fluttershy: It was like a tsunami.

twow: That you went skateboarding in.

Rarity: With ice skates.

Keeping her lips pursed tightly around Fluttershy's member, she swallowed the sticky load as it filled her mouth and savored its unique flavor, still swirling her tongue around the head to tease the pegasus through her orgasm.

Rarity: Eww...

twow: Is it bad that I wondered what it tasted like?

Fluttershy and Rarity: YES.

After a few large gulps, she didn't feel any more coming out, and slowly pulled her head back, sliding her lips and tongue along the stiff member as she did, licking her lips once it left her mouth. Her horn also ceased glowing, the aura around Fluttershy's balls fading away.

twow: “Take me away...”

Rarity: Why in Celestia’s name are you SINGING?

 “Mm, that was smashing, Fluttershy.” she spoke with a smile, blushing softly as she looked up at  Fluttershy, who was still panting heavily in the afterglow of her orgasm, blushing as well.

Fluttershy: Why are they blushing?

twow: Because they know...

Rarity: Know what?

twow: They just know...

“Mmnh...y-yeah...you're a lot better...than Twilight...” Fluttershy panted, smiling a bit back down at Rarity, also noticing that there wasn't a drop of her seed anywhere, as opposed to the other four times she came, having made a mess everywhere each time. “You...swallowed all of it?”

twow: “There wasn’t that much.”

Rarity: “I spit the rest back inside.”

Fluttershy: OW.

“Oh, of course, darling. I couldn't let such delicious cum go to waste, now could I?” Rarity teased with a giggle, licking her lips again, sitting up after a moment. “Very glad to have helped you, dear. Are you all set, now?” she asked, looking down towards Fluttershy's member, seeing that it was starting to soften again, causing her to groan softly and frown a bit.

twow: Survey says...

“I think so...but, um...” Fluttershy started, seeing the face Rarity was making, also managing to catch a glimpse of the glistening lips between Rarity's legs. “Did you...want to keep going? I don't want to leave you out...”

twow: THOUGHT SO.

Fluttershy: This author feeds on our suffering.

Rarity: No, that’d be Fallen.

Fallen: (from TV) Eeyup.

twow: I call him a sick bastard for a reason...

“Well, yes...but we're going to need to get you hard again if we're going to have any kind of real fun.” Rarity replied with a grin, gently pressing her hoof against Fluttershy's semi-erect member, beginning to rub it once more while she moved in closer, cuddling against the pegasus. “I must admit darling, I wouldn't mind if you stayed like this for longer than a week.”

Fluttershy: I think I would.

twow: Not with all the sex you’re gonna get.

“Oh...thanks...” Fluttershy smiled, blushing softly again from the sudden cuddling and rubbing of her member, gently placing her hooves on Rarity's sides. “I'm kinda liking it, too...it really does feel a lot better than anything else.”

Rarity: That’s what stimulation does.

twow: More or less.

“Mm, hush, Fluttershy. You're going to make me even more jealous.” Rarity teased, closing her eyes midway as she moved her snout closer to Fluttershy's before gently pressing her lips against the pegasus', kissing her softly while she continued to slowly stroke the slightly rigid shaft up and

down.

Rarity: Wait, which lips?

Fluttershy: Probably not the kind to kiss your sister with.

twow: You’re gonna be kissing something else though.

 Fluttershy was a little surprised at the sudden kiss at first, but ended up closing her eyes as well as she returned the kiss, pressing back against Rarity's snout.

twow: That’s...cute?

Rarity: Not in this situation.

As they kissed, Rarity gradually opened her mouth slightly, slipping her tongue into Fluttershy's mouth and beginning to french her deeply; Fluttershy tasting the remnants of her seed on Rarity's tongue, only helping to rekindle her arousal, her member slowly throbbing back to life against the unicorn's hoof.

twow: “It...LIVES!!!”

Rarity: “I’ve created a monster!”

 Fluttershy didn't notice it at first because her eyes were closed, but Rarity's horn had begun to glow once more, this time the magical aura surrounding Fluttershy's moist nether lips, giving them gentle strokes, while also teasing the little fleshy nub, causing the pegasus to groan blissfully into the deep french kiss.

Fluttershy: Wouldn’t that be painful?

Rarity: Not if I had control of my magic.

twow: But would you really have full control if you’re making out with somepony?

In just a few minutes of making out, Fluttershy had become quite aroused once more, her member back to its full size and stiffness, throbbing eagerly against the stroking hoof, while both her's and Rarity's lower lips were saturated with arousal.

Rarity: Use a different word!

twow: We only have 23 thousand different words for it.

 Feeling that her pegasus friend was fully hard again, Rarity slowly withdrew from the kiss, opening her eyes again as she pulled back, looking into Fluttershy's eyes as they opened as well, the pegasus panting softly, her cheeks tinted light red as well.

Fluttershy: Sorry, I put too much blush on.

“Ready for round two, darling?” Rarity asked softly, still slowly stroking Fluttershy's eager member up and down, feeling a couple drops of warm pre smearing over her hoof again.

twow: DING!

“Of course, Rarity...what did you have in mind?” Fluttershy asked, gently stroking Rarity's sides, moaning softly under her breath from the teasing rubs to her throbbing pride.

Fluttershy: I can not be this stupid.

“Well...what did Twilight do with you, hm?” the unicorn asked curiously. “Anything special?”

“Well, um...no, not really. She just laid me down on the floor and then climbed on top of me and started riding me like that...” Fluttershy answered, recalling the events from last night.

twow: Yee-ha.

Fluttershy: That sound is ruined for me forever.

twow: Better stop hanging around Applejack.

“Mm, I see...let's try a variation of that, dear.” Rarity replied with a grin, levitating a towel over toward herself and folding it up, using it as a pillow as she laid back on the floor, resting her head on the folded towel. She then spread her legs nice and wide for Fluttershy, giving her full access to her moist snatch.

twow: I guess that Rarity’s gonna allow Fluttershy to “snatch” her up! (smacked by both mares, Pinkie Pie and Fallen.)

Rarity: You didn’t even TRY.

The view only seemed to make Fluttershy even hornier, causing her to blush a little harder as she moved up closer, positioning herself over Rarity's body, with her crotch above Rarity's; her stiff pride just inches away from the unicorn's moist nether lips.

Rarity: STOP SAYING THAT.

twow: Wow. You really have issues with that word.

Rarity: Only in this context.

“Am I...doing this right? I think I've seen this position before...” Fluttershy asked quietly, looking down into Rarity's eyes.

Fluttershy: Of course I haven’t.

“Perfect, sweetie.” Rarity smiled and nodded, lifting her back legs up and gently holding them against Fluttershy's waist, pulling her in closer, feeling the head of the pegasus' member pressing against her warm folds. “Now go on, Fluttershy...buck me nice and hard...” she added in a sultry tone, mid-closing her eyes as she looked back up at Fluttershy.

twow: Get on with it!

Rarity: Yes, get on with it!

All: YES, GET ON WITH IT!!!

The pegasus nodded softly, gulping a bit as she wasn't really experienced in this position, only having used the strap-on once like this before.

Rarity: EGH.

twow: I’m sure that SOMEone has drawn that.

 She lightly moved her hips back and forth a bit, rubbing the tip of her member along Rarity's entrance, before pushing down, penetrating the moist folds slowly, which felt a lot wetter than Twilight's at the time of penetration; Rarity gasping and quietly moaning from the gentle pleasure.

twow: About the fuck TIME.

Fluttershy: Now we just need to perserve though this.

Panting softly from the tingly pleasure, Fluttershy continued to slowly press her hips down further, sliding her throbbing pole deeper and deeper inside the hot, soft love canal, closing her eyes and gently biting her lip.

twow: I’m surprised she still HAS a lip at this point.

 She felt Rarity's legs pulling her in a little as well, helping to slide her length inside until only a couple inches remained outside, the pegasus' hefty balls resting against Rarity's rump. “Ooohh...y-yours feels a lot better than Twilight's...” she softly spoke, her spread-out wings flapping softly from the wonderful feeling of Rarity's steamy insides clenching around her member.

Rarity: ...I don’t know what to pull from that.

Fluttershy: Disgust. Just that.

twow: Wouldn’t Twilight’s be better though?

“Of course it does, ahh, darling...” Rarity moaned softly, loving the feeling of being almost completely stuffed with Fluttershy's member, her back legs holding the pegasus' waist a little tighter now.

Fluttershy: ...

twow: You promised Flutters!

Fluttershy: I’m trying...

 Fluttershy waited a few moments, savoring the warm feeling as well, before she slowly pulled her hips back up, trying to remember how she did it long ago with the strap-on. She pulled back until almost all of her length was outside, before firmly pushing back down again until her crotch smacked against Rarity's, both of them moaning from the thrust.

Rarity: As we groan from reading this.

Fluttershy repeated the motion again, and again, gradually accelerating as she became used to it, panting softly and blushing hard from the ever-increasing pleasure coursing through her throbbing member.

twow: It’s so monotonous, but it’s so good?

Fluttershy: The only time you’ll enjoy doing the same thing over and over.

 “Nnnh...oh wow...this is amazing...” she thought, panting more as she kept thrusting her hips back and forth steadily, the two hanging orbs gently slapping against Rarity's rump each time her waist came down.

twow: The story seems to think that we want to focus on her balls.

Rarity: News flash.

Fluttershy: WE DON’T.

“Aahhh, yes...that's it! Don't hold back, darling!” Rarity moaned as Fluttershy's thrusts became faster and more rough as well, loads of warm precum smearing all along her insides as they clenched tighter around the rigid member.

twow: Until Rarity squeezed it off.

Fluttershy: TWOW!

 Only a few minutes in, Fluttershy already began to feel that familiar pressure building up in her loins, knowing that her orgasm was rapidly closing in on her; Rarity's clenching love canal certainly not helping her hold back as she kept firmly thrusting, beginning to sweat lightly from the rigorous movements.

Rarity: At least she’s exercising?

twow: She’s gonna burn a LOT of calories this week then.

“Oh, not now...can't cum...too fast...” Fluttershy thought, panting more as she felt her orgasm drawing closer and closer with each thrust, her member throbbing harder and spurting lots of precum into Rarity's steamy snatch.

twow: That’s right Fluttershy. Snatch it up. (smacked by Equestria)

Fluttershy: Again?!

Rarity: It wasn’t funny the first time!

 “Ahh...Rarity...I'm gonna cum...soon!” she moaned, trying her best to hold back, despite the overwhelming pleasure. Luckily, Rarity was already quite close as well from her previous arousal, working her muscles and clenching her hot insides even tighter around the pegasus' thrusting member.

Rarity: Please...hurry up.

Fluttershy: I’m surprised that I’m still going.

twow: If you cum so quickly all the time, maybe this won’t be so horrible.

“Yes! Let it all spill out, Fluttershy!” Rarity cried, pressing her legs very firmly around Fluttershy's waist just as the pegasus cried out blissfully as well, forcing her hips down and plunging her shaft deep inside Rarity's clenching snatch as it began to throb hard, releasing a thick shot of seed with each throb.

twow: It was timed to her heartbeat.

Fluttershy: Guess it was a lot then.

As she basked in the bliss of her orgasm, Fluttershy felt the already tight walls constrict even tighter as Rarity's orgasm hit as well

Rarity: How tight am I squeezing?!

twow: It hurts to think about it.

, only overwhelming the pegasus with pleasure even further; giving a few more small thrusts as the mixture of their carnal fluids began to ooze out around Rarity's nether lips, having completely filled up any empty space inside. “Oooh, Rarity...” the tired pegasus panted, opening her eyes and smiling softly down at Rarity.

Rarity: I’m sure you two already covered this, but am I gonna get pregnat from this?

twow: I...really don’t know.

“That was incredible, Fluttershy darling.” Rarity smiled back, panting softly as well during her afterglow, highly enjoying the feeling of being overfilled with the pegasus' warm seed. “You did great, for being as inexperienced as you are.” she added with a soft giggle.

Rarity: “Even though we’ve done this before.”

Fluttershy: “Several times.”

“Mmnh...thank you...” Fluttershy blushed softly and smiled back, gently nuzzling Rarity's snout while her wings slowly retracted against her back again from her rapidly decreasing arousal. Two orgasms in a row had really drained her stamina.

twow: I’m shocked she had that much stamina in the first place.

“Though, you did cum a little quickly, I must say.” The unicorn added, giggling softly. “You should work on lasting a little longer, if anything.”

Fluttershy: No, I’m good.

“Oh...um, I don't really know how...” Fluttershy frowned slightly, averting her eyes from Rarity's. “It just feels so good...I can't help myself...”

twow: “I just don’t know what went wrong.”

Derpy: That’s my line!

twow: Da hell?!

“I'm not really one to speak, I'm not the one with the extra parts,” Rarity started, poking her tongue out playfully at Fluttershy. ”But you could try taking it a little more slowly. You know, relax and enjoy it a bit instead of rushing to orgasm.”

twow: I kinda like her rushing though it.

“I guess that makes sense...” Fluttershy nodded, slowly pulling her hips up again, sliding her softening member out of Rarity's moist entrance, both of their crotches splotched with Fluttershy's sticky fluids. Rarity grimaced at the mess, but smiled back up at Fluttershy.

twow: Hopefully Rarity’s not gonna pull a Twilight and leave Flutters to clean it up.

Rarity: I would never!

“Looks like we're going to need another spa treatment to clean ourselves up.” she added with a giggle, getting back up again as Fluttershy moved off of her.

“I wouldn't mind going for the usual again.” Fluttershy smiled and nodded, giggling softly as well.

twow: I’m sure. (smacked by both mares)

End Ch.2

Well, this was a lot longer than I was expecting. And again with record speed! Man, I guess I really like Futashy too :P

All: WE DO NOT.

Rarity: Is it over? IS IT OVER?!

twow: Calm your tits Rarity. We can get out now.

Fallen: (from TV) And thus concludes chapter two of “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long.” Let’s hear what the judges have to say. Rarity?

Rarity: I would very much like to introduce the author to the blunt end of your shotgun.

Fallen: Wonderful. Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: I hated this just as much as the first chapter.

Fallen: Figured as much. twow?

twow: Fallen, I SWEAR that I’m going to make you suffer for this.

Fallen: Adorable.

twow: I hate you so much.

Rarity: What is the point of this story?!

twow: It doesn’t have one. The whole thing runs on Fluttershy having sex with EVERYpony.

Fluttershy: Even the reason why is full of plot holes.

Rarity: And you two have to riff the entire thing?

twow: That’s what the crazy man with the popcorn says.

Pinkie: (from TV) You did great Rarity! You can leave now!

(The lab doors unlock and open)

Rarity: (hugging Fluttershy) Good luck Fluttershy. And twow?

twow: Hm?

Rarity: Do your best to keep her sane.

twow: Working on it every minute I’m in here.

Fallen: See ya ‘round, Rarity.

(Rarity leaves and the lab doors shut)

twow: Alright, we survived another one Flutters.

Fluttershy: I don’t know if I can take more of this.

twow: I wish we had the choice to stop.

Fallen: Sucks to be you, then, doesn’t it?

twow: Just you wait Fallen. JUST YOU WAIT.

Fallen: I HAVE been waiting. Right now, you still can’t do SHIT to me.

twow: Bluh.

Fluttershy: Can we play a game now? Please?

twow: Like what?

Fluttershy: Do..do you have Borderlands?

twow: ...there’s a reason I love this mare.

Fallen: Wow. If I’d known she was open to FPS games, I’d have game night at the armory more often.

twow: Eh. The more you know.

Pinkie: Enjoy this break you two. We’ll be back with another chapter pretty soon!

twow: I bet.

(Buzzer sounds.)

twow and Fluttershy: We’ve got break sign!

Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, Chapter 3

(AJ and Big Mac, bitch.)

Wait. BOTH?!

(Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyup.)

I swear that the universe hates me.

Anyway, it’s time for chapter three. And as you’ve seen, we got us some horrible Applecest. I still can’t believe that’s an actual THING.

(Would you rather have this or futa princest? “Luna’s Magic Wand” wasn’t a one-off, you know.)

That’s your hell to go through Fallen.

(And yours is still “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long.” And there are two things you can do about it: jack and shit. And Jack left town.)

Well, shit.

Either way, no point in letting this drag on any longer. I bring to you Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, chapter three.

Ah, this one’s gonna hurt.

(Like a two-by-four to the face.)

Fallen Prime: (from TV) ...are you two ACTUALLY having a fucking tea party?

Fluttershy: Is something wrong with that Fallen?

Fallen: On your end? It’s not a surprise. But to think twow’s already that bored...

twow: Who said I was bored? It’s actually pretty relaxing, especially after playing Borderlands for five straight hours.

Fluttershy: You still have to create me that electric gun.

twow: I guess...

Fallen: Yeah, this still doesn’t look gay in the slightest. Ready to riff again?

twow: I am NOT.

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) I’d let you two finish, but you’ve got company!

twow: Oh boy. Who is it this time?

Fallen: A couple of ponies, actually.

(The lab doors open, letting Applejack and Big Macintosh in, shutting behind them.)

twow: Oh dear lord.

Fluttershy: Applejack! Big Mac! It’s great to see you!

Applejack: So this is where y’all have been! We’ve been worried sick!

twow: Blame the sadistic asshole on the TV. Also, it’s nice to meet you finally. Wish it was under different circumstances though.

AJ: And why is that?

twow: Your cue Fallen.

Fallen: Well, first of all, Big Macintosh, it’s nice to actually meet you.

Big Macintosh: Eeyup.

Fallen: Figured you’d say that... but your purpose for being here involves a quaint little tale known simply as “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long.”

twow: Go on. You’re fucked in the head if you think I’m going to explain it.

Fallen: Well, I’ll leave the Apples to let the title’s... implicationssink in before telling them what they specifically are in for.

Big Mac: ...oh.

AJ: Oh no.

twow: If you want to keep your mind, you’re gonna have to start using more words.

Fluttershy: I’m sorry that you both had to come in here, but we’ll get through this.

twow: SOMEone’s gonna break in here.

Fallen: Oh right, the reason you’re both specifically here is because the newly-endowed Fluttershy fucks both of you. Have fun!

AJ: Wait, WHA-

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

All characters © Hasbro

twow: So they AREN’T owned by Apple?

Big Mac: Nope.

CONTAINS: Futashy. (Fluttershy with a dick, if you didn't know.) If you don't want to read about Fluttershy with a dick, close the page now.

Fallen: (from TV) And yet none of you have even tried ONCE.

twow: Bullshit. I tried it last chapter.

Fallen: Really? You must have done such a shitty job that I didn’t notice.

twow: You mother-

AJ: Can we PLEASE get through this?!

After going through “the usual” once more, it was mid-afternoon, almost 3PM.

twow: Damn. Took that long? (smacked by Fluttershy)

 Fluttershy had put her dress on again and was slowly flying back toward her home, thinking about what Rarity had told her earlier.

twow: “Always remember to wash your hooves.”

AJ: “And stretch before applebucking.”

Big Mac: Eeyup.

“Relax and enjoy it a bit...” the pegasus thought, trying to decide on how exactly she would do that, if at all. “I guess I'll just have to slow it down a bit, next time.” she continued, seeing her house up ahead.

Fluttershy: No, no. Speeding though it is fine with all of us.

It was just about time for her to feed her animals again, so after arriving, she quickly got to work on that. “I could try asking somepony for tips...but who?”

twow: Probably Big Mac. (smacked by Big Mac)

Of course, Fluttershy didn't know many males around Ponyville, so the obvious answer quickly hit her. Big Macintosh was the only stallion she knew well enough that she'd ask about such things, but still, she was unsure.

Fluttershy: Besides Time Turner, Caramel, Thunderlane...

AJ: Ah think the author doesn’t know you very well.

 She had been on a few dates with him in the past, but never really asked if he was comfortable with such things. All the thoughts and worries coursing through her mind had easily panicked her again.

twow: I think the fact that you’ve successfully fucked TWO of your best friends should indicate that it won’t be an issue!

“What if he thinks I'm a freak? What if he decides not to talk to me ever again?” her panicked mind raced, but she shook the thoughts after a few moments. “No! Pull yourself together, Fluttershy. He's nicer than that.”

Big Mac: Eeyup.

twow: You’re really gonna see how long you can say one word, aren’t you?

Big Mac: Eeyup.

twow: I can see where AJ gets her honesty from.

 she thought while returning the box of animal feed to its cupboard, getting a impatient look from Angel, who was tapping his foot as he stood next to an empty bowl on the floor in front of Fluttershy.

AJ: Critter’s hungry and where were you?

twow: Relieving herself.

“You have to be more assertive, Fluttershy! Can't let your fears get the best of you!” she continued in her mind, grinning to herself, her spaced-out look being met with a confused one from Angel. “You're going to go over to Sweet Apple Acres and-” her thought process was suddenly interrupted as she felt something tugging at her left front leg, looking down to see Angel glaring up at her.

twow: “Bitch, get me some food!”

Fluttershy: TWOW!

“Oh...sorry.” she blushed and smiled, leaning down and grabbing the empty bowl, replacing it with one that was full of fresh vegetables.

Finally finished with feeding her animals, it was nearly 4PM now as Fluttershy returned to the living room, climbing onto the couch again and resuming her thinking.

Fluttershy: Did I just blank out while I was feeding them?

AJ: Seems so.

twow: Probably wasn’t hard. (smacked by both mares)

 “So...I'll go over to Sweet Apple Acres and ask Big Macintosh for some tips...” she thought, though still, some fears lingered in her mind. She didn't know exactly how he would react to finding out about her new endowment. “I'll have to ask Applejack first, I guess. She'd know...I hope.”

twow: Wait, about the dick, or about how to last longer?

Big Mac: Eeyup.

Getting up from the couch, she put on the turquoise dress once more, and headed out toward Sweet Apple Acres, the sun now hanging low in the sky. Luckily the path between her house and the farm wasn't very populated, so she didn't have to worry about avoiding anypony.

AJ: What about other pegasi?

twow: Silly AJ. If there were pegasi, she’d probably fuck them silly. (smacked by Fluttershy)

After a short flight she arrived at the house next to the barn, landing at the front door and gently knocking on it a couple times. In a few moments it opened, Fluttershy looking down to see Applebloom, who smiled back up at her.

AJ: If you make ONE JOKE.

twow: I wasn’t!

Fluttershy: Even twow can be serious sometimes.

twow: And only YOU can prevent forest fires.

Fallen: (from TV) Prevent, start... same difference.

“Howdy Fluttershy! What'cha need?” she asked cheerfully, glancing down a bit to see the dress Fluttershy was wearing. “What's with the dress? Did Big Mac ask you out on a date again?” she teased with a giggle.

twow: Aww. Wait, is Big Mac blushing?!

Big Mac: (furiously shaking his head) NOPE.

Fluttershy: We’ve been on multiple dates?

“Oh, um...no, not really.” Fluttershy blushed softly, shaking her head. “Is Applejack home? I just wanted to talk to her a bit.”

“She ain't home yet, but she will be soon. Ya can come inside while ya wait.” Applebloom answered, leaving the door open as she turned around and headed back into the house.

twow: She had some porn she needed to get back to. (smacked by everypony)

Fluttershy followed her inside after closing the door, taking a seat in the living room while Applebloom went up the staircase to her bedroom. The house was pretty much silent otherwise, save for the creaking of a rocking chair that was coming from out back.

AJ: That’d be Granny.

twow: Or somepony having furious s-

Big Mac: NOPE.

It was about 4:30 before Applejack returned from her usual afternoon work, Fluttershy's ears perking up as she heard the other mare approaching. Sitting up in the chair, she looked toward the door as it opened again, revealing the orange pony, who sighed contently and wiped her brow of sweat before noticing Fluttershy sitting in the living room.

Fluttershy: ...

twow: What’s up?

Fluttershy: Just thinking.

“When did you get here, Fluttershy? I didn't even see ya.” Applejack spoke with a smile, walking over into the living room. “Nice dress, by the way!”

“Just a few minutes ago, don't worry.” Fluttershy answered, returning the soft smile. “And thank you.”

twow: “I’ll be taking this dress off soon enough.”

“Well, always nice to have company over I guess!” Applejack chuckled softly, taking a seat opposite Fluttershy. “What did'ja need then?”

“Oh, um...I just wanted to talk a bit, if that's okay with you.” the pegasus replied quietly with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

twow: Talk, fuck, same diff. (smacked by AJ)

Fluttershy: Well, you aren’t wrong.

“Well sure! What'dya wanna talk about? I'm all ears.” Applejack nodded, sitting up a bit as her ears perked up.

Fluttershy took a deep breath, collecting herself before she began to speak. She told Applejack the same story that she told Rarity, telling her all about what she had been doing with Luna, and Celestia's reaction to it.

Fluttershy: Did I tell her about having sex with Rarity and Twilight.

twow: Hopefully. We all know that this is gonna end with you screwing her.

AJ: Ah was really hoping that wouldn’t happen.

twow: Why ELSE do you think Fallen is here with that fucking popcorn?

Fallen: (from TV) Do you mind? I’m trying to enjoy the torture show!

 By the end of it, Applejack couldn't help but smile a bit, not really believing the whole story at first.

“Oh, Fluttershy, I never knew you were so good at making up funny stories!” she giggled, shaking her head a bit. “You can't be serious, Celestia would never do such a thing!” she continued, smiling at Fluttershy, though that smile faded as Fluttershy frowned, blushing a bit. “You're kidding...aren't you, sugarcube?”

twow: When’s the last time Fluttershy joked?

Fluttershy: It was a Tuesday.

“No...it's all true.” Fluttershy answered, taking another breath as she tried to keep her composure. “But it's not as bad as it sounds, don't worry.” she added, trying to smile a bit.

AJ: It kinda is though.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

twow: It’s pretty kinky. (smacked by Luna)

Fluttershy: EEP!

“Well uh, I'd assume so...” Applejack smiled nervously as well, kind of embarrassed at herself. “Sorry for not believin' ya, sugarcube. I've just never heard of the princess doin' anythin' like that.”

“Oh, don't worry, Twilight and Rarity didn't believe me at first, either.” Fluttershy giggled softly, feeling a little more comfortable now, especially with Applejack seeming so calm about the situation.

twow: “They believed me after the initial penetration.”

“Hm? You went'n saw them about it? What'd they have to say?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, um...Twilight couldn't find a way to make it go away, and the next morning I had to go to my weekly spa date with Rarity.” Fluttershy started.

All but twow: ...

twow: The hell is up with you three?

Fluttershy: We’re waiting for your comment.

twow: The jokes make themselves at this point.

“Twilight was more surprised at the fact that Celestia did it, but Rarity was more surprised at the result.” she added, giggling softly again. “Both of them really enjoyed it, though...me too, I guess.” she added with a slight blush.

AJ: “And soon will you!”

Big Mac: Nope!

Fluttershy: That was really good AJ!

“Is that so...well, some punishment this is, then!” Applejack laughed, sitting back in her chair. “Sorry to laugh, but it just seems so...strange! She doesn't want ya to have that kind of fun without her, so she gives ya somethin' that'll make you have even more fun?”

twow: That is a good point. I mean, Fluttershy is shy as a newborn kitten, but she warmed up damn quick to having the penis.

Fluttershy: Not to mention my friends would have understood anyway.

AJ: So, the princess might of set ya up?

Big Mac: Eeyup.

twow: It’s times like this that keep me going.

“I...guess. I mean, it does feel really good and all, but I kinda have to hide it wherever I go...” Fluttershy continued, motioning to her dress. “I don't want anypony finding out about it...nopony would look at me the same way again!”

twow and Fluttershy: YOU’VE TOLD TWO PONIES ALREADY!!

AJ: Ah know that Ah wouldn’t shun ya Fluttershy.

twow: That’s my POINT. Ugh!

“Heh, yeah, I guess I see what ya mean. Knowin' some ponies 'round here, word about you would spread like parasprites.” Applejack nodded. “So, uh...what did you wanna ask Big Macintosh, anyways?”

Fluttershy: “So, how do you males do it?”

Big Mac: “Welp...”

twow: “What’s a paladin?”

Fluttershy gulped softly, blushing lightly again as she prepared to answer. “Well, um...I kinda wanted to ask him...for some tips, but I don't know if he'll want to or not.” she softly spoke.

twow: Well Mac, this is gonna get a bit awkward.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

“Whenever I play with myself, or with Twilight or Rarity even, it feels so good that I cum really fast...Rarity told me to try and relax a bit, but I don't really know what she meant.” she continued, a little more nervously. “It just feels so good...I can't help myself.”

AJ: Ah know how ya fe-

Fluttershy: O_O

Big Mac: Nnope!

twow: Damn AJ. (smacked by both Apples)

“Is that it? Well, you're in luck Fluttershy.” Applejack giggled softly, smiling a bit. “I'm sure Big Mac will be fine with it; I've seen the way he looks at some of those other stallions, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind givin' ya a few pointers.” she continued, before giving a mischievous grin.

Big Mac: Excuse me?!

twow: Shit! He said more than one word!

 “But ya say you blow 'yer load real fast, huh?”

“Y-yeah...I can't help it...” Fluttershy blushed, smiling a bit as well. “It feels better than anything I've ever felt...”

twow: “It was even better then that time with the candlestick.”

Fluttershy: Actually, it was in the library with a lead pipe.

“Heh, is that so...” the orange pony nodded, glancing over toward a clock on the wall, seeing that it was just about 4:30PM. “Well, Big Macintosh won't be home for another half-hour I reckon, I could show ya some tips too if you want.”

AJ: Uh, HOW?

twow: Good question. You don’t have the same equipment.

Fluttershy: twow...

twow: Yes, I know! I don’t wanna accept it!

Not expecting Applejack's words, the pegasus' cheeks reddened a little more as she looked up at Applejack. “Um...you don't have to...it's fine...I can wait for Big Macintosh.”

“You sure, sugarcube? I've got quite a bit of experience, ya know.”

Fallen: (from TV) And here I thought Rarity was the only one.

AJ: FALLEN PRIME!

twow: It’s time like this where I can’t be surprised anymore.

Applejack added with a grin. “I could teach ya a trick or two that Big Mac might not know.” she continued, winking. “And I could use a bit of stress relief after today...whew.” she thought.

"Oh...if you're okay with it...I guess a little extra help couldn't hurt." Fluttershy nodded, getting up from her chair. “But where can we do it? Applebloom is here, and I think Granny Smith is, too...”

twow: I mean, they COULD join in... (curb-stomped by everypony)

Fluttershy: That made me think of that horrible clopfic with Scootaloo during Fallen’s last marathon...

Fallen: (from TV) Ah, yes. “Tomb Raider.” That broke Applejack pretty badly.

“What d'ya think we've got the barn for?” Applejack teased, getting a creeped-out look from Fluttershy. “Heh, just kiddin'. Ya gotta admit it's kinda handy though.” the earth pony giggled, before hopping up from her chair, heading toward the front door, Fluttershy following behind her.

Fluttershy: It’s like Follow the Leader.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

twow: Except that it ends in sex.

Big Mac: Ee-

AJ: Ew.

The two walked a short distance over to the barn; Applejack opening the large door and letting Fluttershy inside before closing it again. Applejack continued past the cow stalls and into a separate part of the building, which was mostly a small kitchen and a few spare rooms used mostly for storage.

twow: Perfect for orgies.

AJ: TWOW!

They finally stopped at a small room with a few boxes stacked around the other side of the room; a table and a couple chairs in the middle of the room, which Applejack moved over toward the window.

Fluttershy: I don’t remember this room..

AJ: That’s because it don’t exist.

twow: It’s a plot device for smexy times.

 Now that she was sure they were alone, Fluttershy removed her dress and draped it over one of the chairs, looking over toward Applejack as she pulled a pillow out of one of the boxes and set it on the carpeted floor.

twow: “Lay back and spread them.”

AJ: It’s not worth hittin’ you.

“So, um...what are we gonna start with?” Fluttershy asked quietly as she approached Applejack, who gently pulled on a chain coming from the ceiling, the single light in the middle of the ceiling turning on.

Fluttershy: She got an idea.

twow: It involved a mouth.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

“Well, why don't we start with that “relaxing” you were talkin' about? I wanna see how fast ya go, first.” Applejack replied with a playful smirk, glancing down towards Fluttershy's hind quarters, spotting the pair of hefty balls hanging between her legs, but her member was completely soft. “Looks like a little foreplay is in order, though.”

twow: I got a five!

All but twow: (facehoof)

Fluttershy nodded softly, her nervousness clearing up slightly, mostly from Applejack's willingness to 'play' with her despite her new endowment. “Whenever you're ready, Applejack.”

twow: “And you can have whatever you liiike...”

Big Mac: Nope.

“Heh, C'mere, you!” Applejack teased, gently grasping the pegasus and pulling her over towards the pillow, laying her down on the floor with her head resting on the pillow, before turning her over onto her back.

Fluttershy: As long as it’s not the OTHER head.

twow and Big Mac: (winces)

 “Wonder how big she is...” she thought as she gazed down at the soft member and pair of balls, bringing her hoof down and grasping the flaccid length, starting to stroke and rub it up and down.

twow: (looks at the title) The jokes make themselves.

Fluttershy: She’s gonna have to pay five dollars.

Fluttershy gasped from the slight roughness of being forced to the ground, looking down at Applejack as she felt the hoof stroking her member up and down, causing the familiar tingly pleasure once more. Her cheeks blushed again as she watched the earth pony lower her head down, bringing her snout to Fluttershy's warm snatch and extending her tongue out, starting to slurp over the pink folds, only adding to the tingly pleasures.

twow: You heard it here folks. Tingly pleasures.

AJ: Ah can’t.

“Mmnh...certainly tastes different than I remember...” Applejack thought as she mid-closed her eyes, dragging her tongue up and down the pegasus' moistening slit repeatedly as her hoof continued to stroke the stiffening member, feeling it lightly throb as it grew longer and thicker in response to all the teasing.

AJ: Then Ah REMEMBER?!

Fluttershy: Have you done this before?!

Big Mac: NOPE.

Looking straight ahead, she spotted both of the pink nipples on Fluttershy's udders perking up nicely, giving the pegasus' folds a few more teasing slurps before moving her snout up a bit and nuzzling he two sizable balls out of the way, latching her lips around one of the hard nubs and starting to gently nibble at it with her lips.

twow: “Bring out yer milk!”

Fluttershy: Wow, twow.

“O-Ooohh...Applejack...” Fluttershy panted and moaned from all the teasing, Applejack doing a much better job of foreplay than Twilight or Rarity had done, causing her member to stiffen up to its full length very quickly.

Fluttershy: So, how come AJ is so good at this?

twow: I got nothing.

AJ: And Ah have even less.

 Applejack continued her teases though, stroking the throbbing member more slowly as she nursed and nibbled on the perky nipple, finally tasting the pegasus' sweet milk flowing from it.

twow: .......

AJ: Betcha didn’t think that was really gonna happen, did ya?

The thirsty earth pony drank at least a mouthful of the sweet milk before taking her mouth off and licking her lips, smirking playfully up at the lusty yellow pony. “Mm, that's some delicious milk you've got there, sugarcube.” she complimented, before looking back down at Fluttershy's eager member, squeezing it gently.

Fluttershy: “Tastes like cherries.”

twow: ...what?

 “And looks like you're all ready to play...shall we begin then?” she added, before standing up again, facing away from Fluttershy, giving her full access to her rear.

twow: She’s mooning the shit out of you.

AJ: If it was Fluttershy, it’d look like the sun.

Fluttershy: ......

“Y-yeah...” Fluttershy nodded softly, slowly getting up as well; the sight of Applejack presenting only serving to turn her on further as she approached the earth pony, remembering how Big Macintosh mounted her that one time, and trying to do the same to Applejack.

Big Mac: Nope!

twow: (snickers)

 Lifting her front legs, she gently placed her hooves on Applejack's toned flanks, before sliding them forward a bit, moving the rest of her body closer until the tip of her member prodded against her friend's warm entrance; also quite moist from her own arousal.

twow: It’s like a moist nugget. (punted by AJ)

AJ: Ah need a break. Anypony else?

Fluttershy: I second that.

Big Mac: Eeyup!

Fallen: (from TV) You ALWAYS break before the penetration. You were LITERALLY two lines away.

AJ: Sorry if Ah don’t wanna read about Fluttershy having sex with me!

twow: I’m going to always break before it now.

Fluttershy: You always did.

Big Mac: ...

twow: I mean, this really isn’t that bad. At least for me and Fluttershy, but we HAVE been through two chapters of this shit.

Fallen: And you’re taking your sweet-ass time with it. I mean, yeah, drawn-out torture, but there’s a point where it drags on for so long that it just gets BORING. You need to move faster, man.

twow: Shut up Fallen.

AJ: Ah don’t understand who even ENJOYS this kinda stuff.

twow: This fandom is full of sick fucks. Hell, at least the ones that like 120 Days of Blueblood.

Fallen: And the flood of likes on this story tell you that there’s actually a sizable audience for this sort of thing. And I bet it’s gonna keep going for as long as that audience exists. Which means that it’s entirely possible that YOU WILL NEVER BE DONE.

twow: Heh, fuck that. I’ll do the entire story, but I’m switching it up a bit so Fluttershy doesn’t have to make her second home in my lab.

Fallen: Bitch, did I give you permission to change MY rules?

twow: You’re saying that like I care. Now Flutters and I’ll do the ten main chapters as part of the bet, and the bonus chapters on our own time. I do have other things I wanna accomplish in life besides reading about Fluttershy fucking her way through Ponyville.

Fallen: Like Blueblood fucking his way through all of Equestria?

twow: You just WANT me to eviscerate you, don’t you?

Fluttershy: Both of you cut it out!

twow: ...Damn.

Fluttershy: Look Fallen, I don’t think twow’s asking that much. We’re still going through the story.

Fallen: ...ugh. FINE. But only because it’s really hard to say no to that face.

twow: I know how that feels.

AJ: Did ya say something twow?

twow: Nope. Nothing at all.

Fluttershy: See twow? Fallen CAN be nice.

twow: That’s like saying that bears might sometimes not rip your face off if you go near their cubs.

Fallen: Which is an entirely accurate statement. You’re SITTING with the exception that proves the rule.

twow: Not on EARTH Fallen.

Fluttershy: Don’t you two start up again.

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

“C'mon Fluttershy...don't tell me you're gentle and shy when it comes to buckin'.” Applejack teased, pressing back a bit against the pegasus' member, pressing it gently inside her moist folds. “Perfect size...not as big as Big Mac...

Fallen: (from TV) Oh-ho-HO.

Fluttershy: What?!

twow: THE FUCK?!

AJ: What the hay?!

Big Mac: NopenopenopenopenopeSOMUCHNOPE.

this is gonna be one fine ride!” she thought with a grin. Exhaling softly, Fluttershy gently grasped Applejack's body, leaning over her a little bit more as she pushed her hips forward, pressing her throbbing pride into Applejack's steamy slit, moaning softly from the feel of the hot insides rubbing along her sensitive length.

twow: I see alliteration. Don’t tell me that Bronystories got his hands on this.

AJ: If he did, then Ah expect the prince to come and rape everything.

“Ooh, that's it, girl...” Applejack panted softly as she felt the pegasus' member push inside, slowly sliding deeper and deeper into her, stopping after a few moments when only a couple inches were outside; Fluttershy's hefty orbs bumping against the earth pony's rump. “Nnh, c'mon sugarcube...show me what'cha got.”

twow: ...damn.

Fluttershy: Something wrong?

twow: Lost the song I was gonna sing.

Fallen: (from TV) Out of seventeen trillion options, going from that one line.

Fluttershy took a couple moments to savor the gentle pleasure, before pulling her hips back, sliding her member out almost all the way, before thrusting back in again, getting a pleased groan from Applejack.

twow: Churnin’ with style.

Big Mac: NOPE.

She repeated the motion over and over until she was steadily riding the earth pony, her member slick with Applejack's warm juices already, only helping her accelerate.

AJ: Well, at least it’ll be over quicker.

twow: Her coming over here was to make her last longer, remember?

“At'a girl!” Applejack moaned, leaning down further as Fluttershy's hooves gradually slid up her body, stopping at her shoulders, pressing down onto the earth pony. It was slightly uncomfortable, but being used to larger stallions, she didn't mind a little roughness.

twow: AJ’s a slut now. Okay.

AJ: Ah am nothing of the sort!

Fluttershy: It’s okay, we know the truth.

Fluttershy was panting and moaning blissfully as well, closing her eyes while her cheeks flushed red again from the huge amounts of pleasure coursing through her loins, already feeling the pressure building inside after only a couple minutes. Her wings had begun to flap as well, increasing her speed further.

twow: At this rate, Sonic’ll be taking lessons from Fluttershy.

“Nnnh, aahhh...!” the pegasus moaned cutely as she kept bucking Applejack quickly, lots of her warm pre smearing along the hot inner walls as her member throbbed more.

Fluttershy: I just compared that to a heartbeat.

twow: Well, you’re not all the way wrong...

“S-so...wonderful...Applejack!” she panted, feeling her orgasm coming on already, once more trying her best to hold back, despite her rapid hip movements; her crotch as well as her hefty balls smacking against Applejack's rump with each thrust.

Fallen: (from TV) Insert bruised apple joke here.

AJ: FALLEN PRIME!

twow: Geez Fallen. And you’ve been saying that I’ve been going far.

Fallen: Thing is, she’s USED to me. Aren’t you, Applejack?

AJ: Unfortunately.

“Ya got that right!” Applejack panted and moaned happily, her moist insides clenching around Fluttershy's thrusting member as her own orgasm slowly built up, her hat tipping over and falling off of her head as she leaned downward further, glancing back between her legs and watching as the pegasus pounded her firmly. “Keep it up, you're...nnhh, doin' great!”

twow: Doesn’t even need her hat.

Fluttershy: That means that this just got serious.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

“Oh...ooh...I'm gonna...cum...” Fluttershy moaned quietly, biting her lip gently as she kept trying to hold back her orgasm, but the clenching and squeezing from Applejack's steamy insides weren't helping at all.

AJ: No please. Go on.

twow: We really don’t wanna read about an extended version.

Applejack's eyes widened; not believing what she was hearing at first. “Good gravy, girl, already?!” she groaned, noticing now the speed of Fluttershy's thrusts, and feeling the pegasus' member throbbing against her insides. “You weren't kiddin', were you?”

Fluttershy: I rarely kid.

twow: But do you adult? (smacked by everypony)

“Nnnh, s-sorry...!” the lusty pegasus moaned, before leaning her head back and crying blissfully as her orgasm hit; her hips bucking forward and sinking her whole length inside Applejack as it shot off her load.

twow: “Batten the hatches, we’re going in hot!”

 She held firmly to the earth pony as she rode out her orgasm, panting and moaning softly while her member overflowed Applejack easily, lots of the sticky fluids gushing out around the pink lips, oozing down Applejack's crotch.

Big Mac: Bluh.

AJ: You okay, brother?

Fluttershy: I think the impact of the story hit him.

“Nnhh...well, shucks...” Applejack grumbled, enjoying the feeling of being filled to the brim, but she hadn't orgasmed yet; only about 75% of the way there.

Fallen: (from TV) ...you can put a percentage on orgasm progress?

twow: You didn’t know that?

“This is what Rarity meant, sugarcube...ya gotta slow it down a bit.” she added, looking back at the blissful pegasus, seeing her wings slowly folding against her back again.

AJ: Ah think that we’re all fine with it going quickly.

Fluttershy: I second that.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

“Ooh..I'm...sorry...” Fluttershy panted, still recovering from her powerful orgasm, her chest rising and falling as she caught her breath. “Did you cum? I-I can finish you off, if that's okay...whatever you wanna do...” she quietly added as she pulled her hips back a bit, sliding her member halfway out.

Fluttershy: “You see, I have this knife here...”

twow: O_O

“Well, yeah, that'd be nice.” Applejack chuckled softly and nodded, though just as Fluttershy gripped her sides again, the door slowly creaked open; Applejack gasping while Fluttershy nearly jumped in surprise.

twow: All the way to the ceiling.

AJ: Isn’t that a bit high?

twow: Not for Flutters.

 The door slowly swung open to reveal Big Macintosh, whose eyes widened a bit in surprise as well. “B-Big brother, what are you doing here?”

twow: “I wanted to join in.” (smacked by everypony)

The big red stallion was speechless at first, still trying to process everything that he was seeing; Fluttershy and his sister in the position they were in, yet he didn't see any straps around Fluttershy's waist, and at the same time, a small puddle of white liquid beneath them.

twow: Dude, it’s not that deep.

Fluttershy: Maybe they were play fighting?

AJ: What, with milk?

“What in tarnation...?” he thought out loud, shaking his head a bit. “Am I imaginin' things or is...nah, that ain't it...can't be.”

“Hold on, I can explain!” Applejack groaned as she got up, pulling forward a bit; Fluttershy's member sliding out of her warm slit with a “ssshhhlick”.

twow: Fluttershy’s dick is a snake now.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

(Both males are smacked by both mares)

 It was still slightly hard, and from the look Fluttershy saw on Big Macintosh's face, he could see it now, which caused her cheeks to flush a deep red again. Luckily for Big Macintosh, his red coat hid his own soft blush, while Applejack gave him a quick run-down of the story Fluttershy told her.

Fluttershy: And he didn’t start freaking out?

twow: Silly Fluttershy. We need more fucking!

“And she just wanted to ask ya for some tips...she needs 'em, trust me.” she finished with a soft giggle. Nodding softly as Applejack left the room, the big stallion stepped over toward Fluttershy, who smiled nervously up at him; her member completely soft again by now. Sure, Applejack told her that she'd be fine, but that wasn't helping her nervousness right now.

AJ: And, he’s just fine with this?

twow: I think there’s some backstory that we aren’t getting here.

“So...you wanted to ask me some questions, did ya?” Big Macintosh asked, glancing up from Fluttershy's soft member, looking at her cutely blushing face.

Fluttershy: (blushing) Like this?

twow: HNNNG

AJ: Did you just do that on command?

Fluttershy: It was worth it.

“Um, yes...I just wanted to ask you...how to take sex more slowly?” Fluttershy asked quietly, the big stallion nodding as he sat down on the floor in front of her. “Every time I try...I just cum too fast.”

twow: Tried to warn you about taking those lessons from Sonic, but no...

“Mmhm.” Big Macintosh nodded again, his own member stirring as his head inevitably filled with dirty thoughts about the hermaphrodite pegasus. “I reckon I could show ya how it's done. If that's alright with you.”

AJ: Because she’s going to refuse.

twow: Stop talking about nice things.

“Oh...that would be nice.” Fluttershy smiled softly, catching sight of Big Macintosh's member though as it slowly stiffened between his legs. “I'm...guessing you're going to show me...directly?”

“O'course, no better way to show ya.” The big stallion grinned warmly, blushing softly as well, but again it was hidden mostly by his red coat. “Just lay down, I'll take it from there, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy: But I like being on the top!

twow: Um, Flutters...

Fluttershy: Did I just say that out loud?

Nodding softly, Fluttershy did as he said, grabbing the pillow and moving it closer, laying her head down on it as she laid on her back, her semi-hard member flopping against her belly slightly.

Fallen: (from TV) How’s that mental picture treating ya, big guy?

Big Mac: .....

twow: Just as well as I am.

“Like this...?”

“Eeeyup, just like that.” Big Macintosh nodded, getting to his feet again and moving closer, positioning himself on top of Fluttershy, bending his front half down slightly so that his face was closer to hers, while his stiffening member pressed against the pegasus'.

twow: “Wanna swordfight?” (smacked by Big Mac and Fallen)

Fallen: (from TV) And I thought the tea party was bad.

 “So...how's your new toy feel?” he casually asked, gently moving his hips back and forth, rubbing his stallionhood along Fluttershy's as they both stiffened further.

“Mmnh...it feels...really nice...” Fluttershy moaned quietly from the gentle teasing to her member, which quickly hardened up again as her arousal was rekindled. “Y-You still like me...right?”

AJ: So, there’s the backstory.

twow: Guess they were dating before?

“Well o'course...I don't mind the extra equipment. Just more to have fun with, right?” The stallion replied with a grin, gently nuzzling Fluttershy's snout; the pegasus' blush fading as she became more relaxed. Both of their members had become fully hard by now, Big Macintosh's much larger than Fluttershy's by at least six inches, accompanied by two very large balls, at least the size of tennis balls, if not larger.

twow: BAD IMAGE GO AWAY!!

Fluttershy: Brain bleach twow. I know you have some.

“Thank you, Big Macintosh...” Fluttershy smiled softly in return, slowly reaching her front legs up and gently holding onto Big Macintosh's shoulders. “You can start when you're ready.”

Big Macintosh nodded once more, before pulling his hips back slightly, his member sliding along Fluttershy's as it moved down, before the tip of it prodded against her moist slit. “Here it comes...”

AJ: Annnnnd, there it goes.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

he softly whispered into her ear, before pressing his hips forward again, penetrating her gently and slowly, causing her to moan softly in pleasure as her nether lips were parted by the large stallionhood.

All: Bluh.

“Oooh...” the pegasus moaned quietly, gently stroking her hooves along Big Macintosh's shoulders as she enjoyed the feeling of his member slowly pushing deeper and deeper inside her; her own pride throbbing eagerly and oozing a bit of precum onto her belly. Inch by inch, the big stallion continued to push deeper inside her, until about a foot of his length was inside.

twow: Impressive.

Fluttershy: Thank...you?

“Now...from here...you just take it nice and slow...” Big Macintosh softly spoke, starting to slowly buck his hips back and forth, steadily sliding his thick pride in and out of the pegasus' steamy slit;

twow: Agh! Alliteration! Hit the dirt! (dives under desk)

Fluttershy: Uhhhh...

AJ: Have you heard of Bronystories, Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: No.

AJ: And with any luck, it’ll stay that way.

Fallen: (from TV) Oh, he’s saving Fluttershy for last.

lightly throbbing against her soft insides as it rubbed firmly against them over and over. As he slowly thrust into her, he leaned his head down a bit further, closing his eyes and teasingly nibbling on her ear.

twow: Kink-

Fluttershy: Do not finish that.

“Aahh...I s-see...” Fluttershy panted and moaned softly from the gentle pleasure, very much enjoying the soft nibbling on her ear as her love tunnel clenched lightly around Big Macintosh's member, coating it in her warm juices while it continued to slowly slide in and out.

twow: Churnin’ with a yearnin’.

AJ: Now that was just awful.

 Her own member was still throbbing happily against her belly, oozing more pre from the slit, which smeared into her coat.

Big Macintosh kept up the slow pace for a few minutes, before gradually accelerating, easing in more of his member as well, pushing it in deeper and deeper, only increasing the pleasure for the lusty pegasus.

Fluttersh: Well, I miss when it went quickly.

twow: We all do.

“Mmnh...ya just take it...nice and easy...no rush...” he softly spoke, moving his snout back up and gently nuzzling Fluttershy's snout again, looking down into her eyes, seeing the blissful look on her face as she moaned and panted quietly.

twow: Only you can do that quietly.

AJ: Ah have to agree with that.

After a couple minutes he had picked up the pace a good deal, putting a little more power behind his thrusting as well, spurred on by Fluttershy's clenching insides, which slicked his member even more with warm juices. He felt her member press against his stomach, now standing up from her crotch and throbbing harder as her orgasm was close, smearing some of her warm pre over his red coat.

twow: I’m bored. I can’t be the only one.

Fluttershy: You're not.

Big Mac: Nope.

 His own climax was steadily building, but still a ways off; big globs of his sticky precum smearing along the pegasus' insides and mixing with her juices.

“And another thing...nnh...you can try, is a change of position...” he continued

twow: Time for a change of pace!

, Fluttershy opening her eyes and looking up at him as he gently grasped her sides, pressing his stallionhood deep inside her and holding her body close as he suddenly leaned back with her and rolled onto his back, keeping her on top.

twow: And now you’re on the top.

Fluttershy: I’m not going to live that down, am I?

twow: Probably not.

“Oohh...yes...” Fluttershy gasped and moaned in bliss as almost all of the thick shaft pushed inside her; now sitting on top of it as she was on top of the big stallion now, gently holding her hooves against his chest.

Big Mac: ......

AJ: You alright there Mac?

twow: He seems quieter than usual. That can’t be good.

“Go ahead, darling...ride your big stallion.” Big Macintosh spoke with a seductive smirk, looking over the pegasus' body as she sat up on top of him, the sight of her throbbing member only turning him on even more.

AJ: twow, is that really attracting to you all?

twow: Only the weird ones.

 Fluttershy blushed and nodded, pressing her hooves more firmly to Big Macintosh's chest to steady herself before starting to ride him the way Twilight had ridden her, panting and moaning happily once more.

Fluttershy: Can we break? Please?

AJ: Ah agree with Fluttershy.

twow: Sure. I need a brain reset anyway.

Fallen: (from TV) Mac, my man! How goes it with you?

Big Mac: ...

Fallen: Good answer. The rest of you?

Fluttershy: You already know what twow and I think about it Fallen.

AJ: And as for me, Ah don’t really understand what the hype is about this story.

Fallen: It’s Fluttershy growing a penis because Celestia wills it and fucking everyone she so much as blinks at. It’s more to fuck with twow than anything else.

twow: Pretty much. It’s gotten to the fact that this is starting to be really boring though.

Fluttershy: I have to agree.

Fallen: Just wait until she starts pegging Mr. Cake.

twow: Pinkie’s gonna love that.

Big Mac: Ah got somethin’ to say.

Fallen: Um... alright?

Big Mac: Ah got nothin' against Fluttershy havin' all them stallion bits. That's the whole point of the story, and ah can't condemn somethin' right away on concept alone. Ah got nothin' against it sayin' ah'm into stallions. Ain't nothin' wrong with that lifestyle, and ah'll leave the story to think what it likes. Ah don't even have a big problem with the poor gal's sex drive 'cuz hey, if ah had both, ah'd probably be goin' wild too.

Fallen: Well, then, what’s the-

Big Mac: The PROBLEM is how NOPONY thinks it's wrong for Fluttershy to just walk in, have sex with my dear sis, then come right up and ask for it from ME. How AJ and ah GO RIGHT ALONG WITH IT AND LET HER HAVE HER WAY. Not one of us tried to tell her sleepin' around like this and TAKIN' TWO SIBLINGS ON THE SAME DAYis a messed-up thing for a pony to do! Ah dunno what happened to get her all riled up, but there's NO EXCUSIN' APPLEJACK'S AND MY ACTIONS!

Fallen: ...Jesus. This guy deserves a standing ovation.

twow: Damn....

AJ: Wow, big brother. I guess I never thought about it like that.

Fluttershy: Do you feel any better?

Big Mac: I guess so.

twow: Fallen, maybe we should move on now.

Fallen: ...we’re never gonna hear him talk like that again, are we.

Big Mac: Nope.

Fallen: Whatever. Roll it.

(Buzzer sounds.)

All: We’ve got story sign!

“Nnh...this feels...so wonderful...” she panted, more of her warm precum coating Big Macintosh's stallionhood while her own member gently smacked against his stomach each time she came down onto his crotch; lots of her warm pre splashing onto his coat.

twow: It was like a waterfall.

AJ: Now that was just disgustin’.

 As she kept riding, she could feel Big Macintosh's member starting to throb more as well, warming her insides even more with sticky precum.

Fluttershy: (blushing)

twow: Come on Flutters, we’ve gone through two chapters of this already!

Fluttershy: There wasn’t a male pony that I know in here before...

It was only a couple more minutes though before she felt her own orgasm coming on; her wings flapping slightly as she cried out in bliss, pressing herself all the way down onto Big Macintosh's stallionhood as her insides clamped it tightly, squeezing it like a hot, soft vice and soaking it with a wave of her female cum.

Big Mac: NOPE.

twow: I need to go grab my surfboard...

 At the same time, her member twitched and throbbed as it shot off its load of sticky seed, splashing all over Big Macintosh's chest, as well as getting a few streaks on his face.

AJ and Fluttershy: Bluh.

twow: Wow. I actually forgot that she had a dick.

The lusty pegasus didn't notice it at first, but despite stopping her riding, she seemed to still be bouncing up and down atop the stallion's body; still feeling his member sliding in and out. While basking in her afterglow, she glanced down at Big Macintosh, seeing that he had grasped her waist, and was bucking his hips upward, having not reached his own orgasm yet.

twow: Can’t be rude now, can we?

Big Mac: Nope.

(Both males are smacked by both mares)

“Oohh..nnh...s-sorry...!” Fluttershy softly spoke, doing her best to help him by continuing her riding.

“Nnnh...d-don't worry 'bout it...” Big Macintosh grunted blissfully, gritting his teeth lightly as his pleasure peaked, feeling all the built-up pressure finally releasing as his pride throbbed hard within Fluttershy's steamy depths.

twow: Spelunking with style.

Fluttershy: That was horrible.

twow: But it fit.

 With a few more thrusts, he firmly grasped Fluttershy's waist and pushed her down onto his member, fully sheathing it inside her as it began to unload copious amounts of steamy seed within her.

twow: Hey!

AJ: What’s wrong with you?

twow: I sensed alliteration. Don’t mind me.

“Oooh...ahh...B-Big Mac...!” Fluttershy gasped, blushing heavily from the warm feeling inside her; the size of the load easily overflowing her and gushing out all around onto the stallion's crotch.

AJ: Grab the cups.

twow: I’m proud of you.

The feeling only seemed to intensify her afterglow, her wings still spread and flapping lightly as she collapsed on top of Big Macintosh, resting her head against his chest as it rose and fell with his heavy breathing. “So wonderful...nhh...my big stallion...”

Fluttershy: Uhh...

Big Mac: Nope.

twow: Kinky. (smacked by everypony)

Big Macintosh continued to hold her waist through his orgasm, gently running his hooves over her cutie marks as the last of his seed escaped into her, his afterglow coming on now as well. “Glad ya enjoyed...mmnh...my lovely pegasus...” he softly spoke while panting in exhaustion, looking up toward her as she nuzzled his chest gently.

Fluttershy: You were right. We have dated before this.

twow: Duh.

AJ: As pleasent as this all is, I’m just going to refer to my brother’s earlier freakout.

“Hope my lesson was helpful...heh...” he chuckled softly, smiling a bit.

Fluttershy: “Well...I forgot to take notes...”

“Of course...hehe...” Fluttershy giggled softly as well, smiling back at him as she slowly pulled forward, the stallion's spent member slipping out of her as she moved up, gently pressing her snout against his and kissing his lips. “That was so much fun, Big Macintosh. Thanks for showing me...” she quietly added, blushing lightly.

twow: “How to dance.”

AJ: “Next time, we should do the tango.”

Big Mac: “Eeyup.”

“Any time, Fluttershy.” Big Macintosh replied, returning the gentle kiss while his hooves moved up a bit, gently massaging the pegasus' sides. The intimate cuddle was interrupted though as his stomach growled quite loudly, making him chuckle softly again. “Do ya wanna stay for dinner? It's Sunday so...we'll be havin' some'a Granny Smith's old-fashioned spaghetti.”

twow: Wait. With what sauce?

Fluttershy: What are you implying?

twow: Nothing at all...

“That sounds wonderful.” Fluttershy nodded, sitting up on Big Macintosh's belly and looking down at him, seeing the streaks of her seed all over him, as well as the mess of sticky fluids further down his body. “We're gonna have to clean up, though.”

twow: Or you could pull a Twilight and leave it.

“Heheh...eeeyup.” Big Macintosh chuckled and nodded as Fluttershy climbed off of him, allowing him to stand up again. “There's a hose 'round back that we can wash up with. C'mon.”

AJ: Did they not leave a mess on the ground?

twow: Nah. Fluttershy swallowed.

AJ: HOW?

twow: Questions like that I enjoy leaving unanswered.

After the two cleaned themselves up, they headed back to the house, seeing Granny Smith in the kitchen; already having the spaghetti boiling as she stirred a pot of red sauce.

twow: With chunks of meat inside.

Fluttershy: TWOW!

twow: Worth it.

 Heading into the living room, Applejack was sitting in one of the chairs, looking up from her magazine as she saw the big stallion and smaller pegasus enter.

“So, how'd it go, you two?” she asked with a grin, closing the magazine and setting it down on the side-table. “Did ya learn a good deal, Fluttershy?”

Fallen: (from TV) Or perhaps an offer she couldn’t refuse?

AJ: Fallen...

twow: AJ, it’s not worth it.

“Oh, yes...it was nice.” Fluttershy smiled and nodded, blushing lightly. “Big Macintosh here is very skilled...hehe...” she giggled softly, gently nuzzling the stallion's neck.

“Well, glad to hear it! We'll have to have some fun another time, sugarcube.” Applejack added with a wink toward Fluttershy, before getting up from the chair and heading into the kitchen to help set the table.

twow: “Next time, we’ll play Twister!”

Fluttershy: “Or if you feel really daring, we’ll tackle Monopoly!”

“Doesn't sound like such a bad idea.” Big Macintosh added with a playful grin toward the pegasus, who blushed a bit more, before smiling and giggling softly.

“Hehe...I'm gonna be sore by the end of this week if this keeps up!” Fluttershy added, leaning her head against Big Macintosh's shoulder.

twow: And we know that it WILL.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

Fluttershy: I’m going to contain my excitement.

twow: Not if the story has anything to say about it. (smacked by Fluttershy)

After she had finished the delicious dinner Granny Smith cooked, she promptly said her goodbyes and left Sweet Apple Acres, remembering that it was time to feed her animals again. As she flew home, she reminisced about the fun time she had with Applejack and Big Macintosh, remembering what he he 'taught' her.

twow: What “he he” taught?

AJ: Sounds rather intense.

“I should be able to last a bit longer if I do what he showed me...” she thought as she approached her house, blinking a bit in surprise as she saw someone outside her door.

As she flew closer, she noticed the bright colors of the pony's mane and tail, instantly recognizing it as Rainbow Dash.

Fluttershy: Don’t tell me...

twow: If it happened Flutters, she’d be in here right now.

Fluttershy: (breaths sigh of relief.)

“There you are, Fluttershy!” the rainbow-maned pony spoke as Fluttershy landed in front of her. “Where were ya? I've been looking for you for like, an hour now. Twilight said she wanted you to have this.” she added, holding up an envelope while raising an eyebrow at Fluttershy's dress. “And what's with the dress?”

Fluttershy: “I got bored.”

AJ: “Today was dress day.”

“Oh, I just uh...went over to Sweet Apple Acres, to visit.” Fluttershy lied, smiling a bit as she took the envelope from Rainbow Dash. “It was...kinda formal, that's why I wore this.”

“The Apple family? Formal? You're kidding.” Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed a bit. “Since when are they formal at all?”

twow: Remember the reunion? That was kinda formal.

AJ: Kinda...

“Um...it wasn't that formal...I just decided to dress up nice though, just in case.” Fluttershy answered, blushing softly as she kept smiling, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

Rainbow Dash blinked a couple times, but shrugged. “Eh, whatever you say. Anyways, the newest Daring Do book was so awesome!” she replied with a big smile.

twow: Daring Do and the Quest for the Reversion Spell.

“That twist near the end was insane! I wanted to go on to the next book, but Twilight said she had to finish studying some spell, something about alter...altera...oh, some magic-shmagic junk.”

Fallen: (from TV) No, Rainbow, you don’t get to see her magic-shmagic junk until chapter seven.

twow and Fluttershy: Bluh.

she continued, grimacing a bit.

“Oh...sounds nice.” Fluttershy nodded, though knowing exactly what Rainbow Dash was talking about; slightly worried that Twilight had mentioned it to her. “I hope she didn't tell Rainbow Dash much...but then again, she said she wouldn't tell anypony...” she thought as she opened her door, turning her head toward Rainbow Dash. “Well, uh...I've got to feed my animals, so...nice seeing you, Rainbow Dash.” she added as she walked in the door.

twow; Yeah. Feed them.

Fluttershy: It’s almost over twow.

twow: Okay...

“Yeah, catch ya later Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash nodded, watching as the yellow pegasus walked into her home, a light draft coming in through the open door and blowing the back of Fluttershy's dress up, causing her to jump in surprise, quickly turning around to face the door again. With a nervous smile, she quickly shut the door in front of Rainbow Dash.

AJ: “Boy, I hope she didn’t notice!”

twow: I’m still surprised the damn dress hides it so well.

“Did I just see...?” she thought, blinking a bit in surprise, having sworn she saw a sizable sack hanging from Fluttershy's crotch. “Oh boy. Hanging out with Twilight and her magic all day must have gotten to my head...” she thought, shaking her head a bit before taking off into the air.

twow: Or...you could question Fluttershy.

AJ: She wouldn’t though.

Big Mac: Nope.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy sighed softly, assuming Rainbow Dash hadn't seen anything judging from the fact that she left right away. Walking over to the table, she gently opened the envelope, pulling out the letter that was inside and reading it.

Fluttershy,

twow: “Come on over so we can fu-” (smacked by Fluttershy)

        I haven't found a strong enough spell to remove the alteration enchantment yet, but don't worry, I'm going to search through every book in this library if I have to. Sorry to be keeping you waiting, I did promise Rainbow Dash that I'd read a book with her today. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.

-Twilight

twow: P.S. I accidentally did it to myself as well.

Fluttershy: “Now I know what you are okay with it.”

“Oh, she's working so hard for me...” Fluttershy smiled a bit, setting the letter down on the table. “I'll have to bring her a little gift tomorrow.” she thought as she took off the dress, hanging it back up in her closet. After feeding her animals once more, it was quite dark out; being about 9:30PM.

AJ: Must have been the turn of the season.

Laying down on top of her bed now, she sighed contently, quite exhausted from all the 'fun' she had today. “Applejack was right...this is turning out to be a lot of fun.” she thought to herself with a smile as she slid underneath the blankets.

All: NOT FOR US.

"I just hope the princess doesn't catch me playing with anypony..." she continued, resting her head on the pillow, drifting off to sleep in a few minutes.

twow: Five bucks she’s known this whole time.

End Chapter 3!

Coming up next, background pony chapter! I figured that at the rate I'm going now, Fluttershy would have screwed all the main6 by the middle of the week, so why not go outside main6 a bit? :D

AJ: Oh boy. Excited I am.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

twow: Please. You two aren’t even going to be here for it.

Fluttershy: Let’s just go now.

Fallen: (from TV) Another one bites the dust. Quarter mark, people. You guys still alive?

AJ: This story made me dumb.

Big Mac: Nope.

twow: All I can say is that there’s a strong possibility of these chapters being longer now. Joy.

Fluttershy: It shouldn’t be TOO horrible now. All the chapters follow the same pattern.

twow: True.

Fallen: Generally, yes, but there are chapters that change it up JUST enough to piss you off in new and spectacular ways.

twow: What? How worse could this get?

Fallen: Spoilers. Anyway, Apples, you’re free to go. Pinkie, let ‘em out.

Pinkie: (from TV) You bet!

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

AJ: (hugging Fluttershy) Hang in there, alright?

Fluttershy: I’m doing my best.

twow: I’ll see you two later. Hopefully, we won’t be looking at something like THIS again.

AJ: Ah’ll make a note. Come on Mac.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

(Both Apples leave, the doors shutting and locking behind them.)

twow: “Spoilers...” I swear Fallen, you’re turning into River Song.

Fallen: Then tell Derpy not to be jealous of my marriage to the Doctor.

twow: That’s a conversation I plan on never having.

Fluttershy: Can you at least tell us who’s next?

Fallen: I’ll say this much... if we actually bring in the pony involved in the next chapter, we’ll have to give her some forward warning so she can arrange for a substitute to teach the class.

twow: Oh FUCK M-

Pinkie: Go on and rest you two! You’re gonna need it!

*BUZZ*

twow and Fluttershy: We’ve got break sign!

Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, Chapter 4

(Be happy I’m letting you have a guest.)

Oh shut up Fallen.

Either way, we’re back with Chapter 4 of Fluttershy's Week-long Foot-Long. GOD I can’t wait for this to be over.

(It’ll NEVER be over if you don’t PICK UP THE FUCKING PACE.)

And in this chapter, we are actually straying away from the Mane 6 and featuring...Cheerilee?! Oh boy...

(It’s as the author said. If he did all the mane six right away, he’d run out before the week was up.)

I’m fucking FINE with that. Bluh.

(Don’t pretend you’d rather be riffing Blueblood.)

.....I hate you Fallen.

Well, seeing as how I’m stuck with this chapter, let’s go ahead and get started. Here’s Fluttershy’s Week-Long Foot-Long, Chapter 4.

Hopefully this won’t be as painful as the last one.

(It might actually be WORSE. Oh yeah, and... Killer Steel, everybody!)

[Hello! Ready to torture myself!]

(Good man. Don’t get used to riffing Futashy, though. This is a one-time thing until he makes me do the next chapter. Which I’M STILL GONNA KILL YOU FOR, TWOW.)

[Then I’ll leave this as a smoldering wreck of a chapter.]

No regrets Fallen. No regrets.

twow: Alright. Let’s try this again from the top.

Fallen Prime: (from TV) Please don’t...

twow: Shut the hell up Fallen. It’s not what you think.

Fluttershy: twow’s trying to create ice cream out of hair. Don’t ask because I didn’t understand either.

Fallen: I repeat. PLEASE DON’T. You two up for some more good old-fashioned futa torture?

twow: What do YOU think?

Fallen: Of course you are. Pinkie, let in their guests.

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Oh, you’re gonna LOVE this one, T!

(The lab doors open to reveal Killer Steel and Cheerilee.)

Killer Steel: (Walks in, looking over a few papers in his hand, not really paying attention to anything around him.)

Cheerilee: Hello, all! I’m going to have to ask why I was requested on such short notice, though...

Fallen: Hey, at least we gave you enough time to find a substitute. Can Twilight actually handle them, by the way?

Cheerilee: Oh, Twilight has no problem with the foals. She’s a bit prone to a few stress attacks, but she’s more than happy to give up tutoring Steel.

Steel: (Mumble mumble... more going over the papers.)

Fallen: Hope she’s ready for a trillion questions about her wings... twow, you should be more excited.

Steel: Excited? Wai- oh shit. (Looks around at the lab.) Goddammit, I knew this was the wrong way to the library!

Cheerilee: You should pay more attention to the road, Steel~.

Steel: Kinda hard to when you give me two tons of homework, Miss Cheerilee... (Goes back to reading, scribbling a few figures.) God, Equestrian arithmetic is hard...

twow: As glad as I am to see you two, I’m sorry that you got dragged into this.

Cheerilee: Oh, it’s no problem, dear. I’m happy to get out of the classroom once in awhile, and I’ve been reading up a bit on this ‘riffing’ thing.

Steel: WAIT, IT’S A RIFF!? (Immediately runs up to the desk and hops into a chair, slamming the stack of papers down on the table.) READY TO ROCK.

Pinkie: THAT’S the spirit!

(The lab door slam shut and lock.)

Cheerilee: Oh my... (Calmly walks up to the table.) Well, I suppose I’ll allow this break... wait, what was that?

Fallen: You not being allowed to leave. Welcome to “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long,” Cheerilee edition!

twow: A story where Fluttershy has a dick and is about to screw you with it.

Fluttershy: I don’t like it at all...

Cheerilee: As you shouldn’t! This is horrific... i-it’s consensual, isn’t it? Oh my, I haven’t dealt with something like this in years...

Steel: (BOUNCING WITH EXCITEMENT) LEMME AT IT LEMME AT IT LEMME AT IT.

twow: Oh my fucking GOD. Fallen, just let HIM riff the rest of this.

Steel: WAIT! Fallen, I need a flamethrower! I’ll need to cremate the remains. (Grins)

Fallen: ...twow, keep him away from anything flammable. To answer your question, Cheerilee, there IS consent on both sides. Doesn’t stop it from getting real creepy real quick this time around, though.

Cheerilee: O-Oh dear... um... I’m n-not sure this should be my first ‘riff’...

Steel: C’mon, teach! It’s a game! We get to rip into a story, tear it apart, and exercise humor! But most of all, WE GET TO DESTROY A STORY.

Cheerilee: You speak like somepony from the Asylum...

Steel: I get that a lot. NOW LET’S GET STARTED. (Gets his alcohol ready with a big grin.)

Pinkie: YES, SIR!

twow and Fluttershy: Bluh.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Steel: GOD, I love doing that!

Cheerilee: Ohhh, here we go...

All characters © Hasbro

Contains: Futashy. (Fluttershy with a dick, if you didn't know.) If you don't want to read about Fluttershy with a dick, close the page now.

Fallen: (from TV) Don’t think I don’t see you trying, Cheerilee. Sit back down.

Cheerilee: Horseapples...

Winner of the little poll I hosted, here's a Cheerilee chapter!

Cheerilee: Every one of you voters, detention!

twow: For over two hours.

“Um...a-are you sure about this?” Fluttershy asked timidly, staring down at Rainbow Dash;

Steel: “Absolutely.”

Cheerilee: “Not in the slightest.”

 who was standing above her as she laid on a rather uncomfortable hardwood floor, in a room she didn't recognize. The rainbow-maned pony said nothing, just leaning down towards Fluttershy's eager erection and starting to slurp the head and first few inches of it gently.

twow: I thought this was Cheerilee’s chapter.

Fluttershy: Did we bring in the wrong pony?

Cheerilee: Must have well I’ll just be going the- (grabbed by Steel)

Steel: Ah. No. The door’s locked anyway.

 “Nnh...R-Rainbow...” the pegasus softly moaned, blushing heavily from the teasing, feeling the sensitive head being slurped over and over, sending shocks of pleasure through her member.

Fluttershy: I’m not even fazed by this now.

twow: (wiping a tear) They grow up so fast...

Steel: (Pats twow on the shoulder) You taught her well, my friend.

Cheerilee: Is anypony else worried about two mares having sex right now?

twow: Not after reading about it for three straight chapters.

Steel: I’ve got about thirteen whole stories under my belt with Rainbow.

Cheerilee: I’m sure you mean that in the least literal sense.

Rainbow Dash gradually advanced, taking the throbbing member into her mouth and beginning to suckle on it for a minute or two, before taking it in deeper and bobbing her head up and down. All the wonderful oral work caused the timid yellow pegasus to moan cutely,

twow: Fluttershy does EVERYTHING cutely. It’s like a curse.

Fluttershy: (blushes)

Steel: Sure as hell IS one for you, bud.

Cheerilee: But curses don’t exist. Or hexes... why am I even commenting on this?

Steel: You’re just like Twilight, an insatiable curiosity?

Cheerilee: I suppose so.

her wings spreading along the floor as her member throbbed in Rainbow's mouth.

Steel: Cue systematic decomposition of every chapter thus far.

Cheerilee: I’m sorry, what?

Steel: Fluttershy tries to hide dick. Friend finds dick, does not matter about friend, but it is always one per scene. Friend takes interest in dick, and intercourse is performed. Two orgasms are achieved during this intercourse, followed by ‘happy end’.

twow: Besides the time something gets thrown at us, causing Flutters here to lose her shit.

Cheerilee: ... Steel, you scare me.

Steel: Funny, never had anyone tell me that before.

 It went on for what seemed like forever; the pleasure building up more and more the longer Rainbow kept bobbing her head up and down.

Steel: “I thought you’d be better at this, Rainbow.” (Clocked by a cloud from a nearby vent) ... Wait, there’s a note here. “Shut up, Steel. -RD”

Cheerilee: Does that usually happen?

Steel: More often, and by greater forces, than you’d like to believe.

“Oooh...getting...close!” Fluttershy panted and moaned, closing her eyes as she felt her orgasm coming on,

Steel: It had been a very slow climb. Rainbow really didn’t bring her A game for it.

 only seeming to spur the other pegasus to bob her head even faster, dragging her tongue along the length as well.

twow: I got nothing.

Fluttershy: I kinda lost it as well.

twow: This’ll be fun in later chapters.

Steel: Like a Goddamn DOG. I know what people are gonna be calling Rainbow Dash in this, now.

Cheerilee: Would you like to share with the rest of the class, Steel?

Steel: Not particularly, for fear of my crotch. Rainbow kicks really damn hard.

Just as she was about to climax though, her eyes shot open, and everything around her changed; the room rapidly changing to her bedroom and Rainbow Dash disappearing with it.

twow: I knew it was a good idea to teach her those ninja lessons.

Cheerilee: Oh, darn it...

Steel: ... Ok, THIS fucked up the entire formula! THE UNIVERSE IS GONNA FALL APART! IT BROKE THE NORM! We had a FANTASY moment! Oh my God, run for the hills!!!

Cheerilee: (Leans away from Steel) Does he normally do this?

twow: You have no idea.

She sat up quickly, seeing that she was in her bed once more, spotting a big tent in the blanket as well. “A dream...?” she thought, relieved and somewhat annoyed at the same time.

Cheerilee: We’d actually call that a ‘lucid dream’, but the actual classification would be rather difficult, considering you could feel everything going on... interesting.

Steel: We aren’t going to Twilight with this, are we?

Cheerilee: Oh, Princess, no. I’m just interested.

Steel: Why have I never talked to you before?

Cheerilee: (Shrug)

Lifting up the blanket revealed her throbbing morning wood, which had made a small stain on the underside of the blanket where it had been holding it up.

twow: She was missing the fireplace.

Fluttershy: twow...

twow: :D

Steel: Seriously, dude. That’d just hurt. And Fluttertree is now a thing... yes, I did just go there. I’m wishing I didn’t.

“This is really strange...” Fluttershy thought as she climbed out of bed, stretching a little bit as she gazed out the window at the rising sun, which was still coming up over the horizon. “Oh well...better get my day started.” she thought, before heading out of her room.

twow: “Animals to feed, ponies to fuck...”

Cheerilee: “So much to do, so little time.” I share the feeling... it’s surprisingly hard to prepare for classes everyday.

She went about her usual morning routine of feeding herself and her indoor animals, her member softening up by the time she went outside.

Fluttershy: So, I just walked around with it?

twow: That seems rather awkward.

Steel: Wasn’t she making a point of HIDING it earlier?

Cheerilee: Honestly, if I came down with this affliction, I wouldn’t leave my house for a second.

twow: I know that I would.

Fluttershy: But...you’re a male.

twow: I know.

Fluttershy: Why are you making no sense?

twow: I blame the power of being nervous as shit and not knowing why.

Fluttershy: (hugs twow)

Steel: And I don’t think anyone would react quite like they do in this story...

 On the way back into her house, she lightly plucked a few flowers from the small garden in front,

Steel: Laughing menacingly as she ENDED THEIR SMALL LIVES. The power was DELICIOUS.

Cheerilee: Stop it.

Fallen: (from TV) Oh, hey. “Cheerilee’s Garden” flashback. Thanks.

twow: Bluh.

 placing them in a plastic vase once she got back inside. It wasn't much of a fancy gift, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Steel: That’s what they WANT you to think! It’s a conspiracy!

Cheerilee: What kind of conspiracy would be based around giving gifts with love and affection behind them?

Steel: The System, man! It’s the Man! Capitalist nonsense that... um...

Cheerilee: You really don’t know where you’re going with this, do you?

Steel: Not a clue.

After dressing in another simple dress; a green one this time;

Steel: The blue one yesterday had entirely obscured her cock.

Cheerilee: Didn’t she want to hide it?

Steel: Not anymore, obviously!

 she lightly picked up the vase between her two front hooves and took to the air, flying in the direction of Twilight's library. One short flight later, she arrived in front of the unicorn's home,

Steel: “I didn’t think I’d leave such a crater...”

Cheerilee: Goodness, you’d think she was Rainbow Dash for a second! (Clocked by a cloud) Oof! Hey, wait... “You too, Miss Cheerilee. -RD”

Steel: Ha!

twow: We better NOT start getting slammed with bricks.

Steel: No worries about that. The Grammar Nazis aren’t out today. Just um... be ready if something does come up.

 setting the vase on the ground beside her before gently knocking three times on the door.

twow: Four is best.

Fluttershy: You’re slightly biased on that point.

twow: NO SHAME.

A few moments later it opened, revealing the familiar purple unicorn once more, though her mane was fraying slightly. “Oh, hey there Fluttershy.” she spoke with a smile, opening the door all the way. “What can I do for you?”

twow: “Spread em.” (smacked by both mares)

Cheerilee: Disgusting!

Steel: He’s not wrong! (Smacked by Cheerilee) Ow! I’m honest, though! That’s exactly how this entire story has gone so far!

Cheerilee: That doesn’t excuse it!

“Oh, nothing much...I just wanted to thank you for studying so much for me.” Fluttershy smiled back, picking up the vase again and holding it out toward Twilight. “You didn't have to spend all your free time trying to find a spell.”

twow: “I mean, I could always KEEP it.”

Fluttershy: “It’s bringing me joy!”

Steel: “If I hear you say that again, Fluttershy, I’ll turn myself in and replace Screw Loose. Off it comes!”

Cheerilee: Oh dear...

Steel: Wouldn’t be the first time something like this happened.

Cheerilee: ... I’m never riffing again.

twow: You are my friend now. It’ll happen again.

Twilight giggled softly, picking up the vase with her magic.

Steel: She immediately threw it on the ground, finding that none of the flowers were PURPLE!

Cheerilee: Such an insult!

 “It's nothing, really. I've had bigger study weekends than this!”

Steel: “You should’ve seen Spring Break last year!”

Cheerilee: “Funnest study session ever!”

Steel: “Really shouldn’t’ve gotten into the beer, though...”

 she poked her tongue out playfully. “Thanks for the gift though, that's very thoughtful of you.” she added, bringing the flowers closer to her snout and inhaling the lovely scent emanating from them. “Mm, smells wonderful. Speaking of wonderful, you wanna come inside?

twow: “I do have a wonderful bedroom for us.” (smacked by Fluttershy) That didn’t hurt.

Fluttershy: It wasn’t supposed to.

Steel: Kinky. (Belted by Cheerilee) OW!

Cheerilee: THAT was supposed to!

Fallen: (from TV) Oh, get a goddamn room, you two.

 Spike's cooking breakfast, if you want some.”

Fluttershy: “He’s making waffles.”

twow: Shrek! Nice one!

Steel: Loved that. (Scottish accent) “No, Spike, you can’ live ‘ere! Now git out!”

Cheerilee: What’s a Shrek?

Steel: You have much to learn, young padawan.

“I know it's not much, but I just wanted to thank you.” Fluttershy continued, before nodding. “That sounds nice, Twilight.” she replied, following the unicorn inside; the scent of pancakes filling her nostrils as she neared the kitchen.

twow: Yup, food’s made in the kitchen.

Steel: Scientific breakthrough of the century.

Cheerilee: The library blew up when Twilight found out.

As the two walked into the kitchen, Spike could be seen cooking the pancakes over a griddle on the stove; Twilight putting the vase under the sink head and filling it up with water before putting it in the windowsill.

Steel: Finding that none of the flowers were yellow, Celestia set the vase on fire.

Cheerilee: Not the flowers? Just the vase?

Steel: I’m not getting into thermodynamics and chemistry right now.

Cheerilee: It’ll be on the test~.

Steel: ... I hate you sometimes.

“Oh, hey there Fluttershy. Nice to see ya again.” Spike happily greeted the pegasus, flipping one of the pancakes over. “Just in time too, you haven't lived until you've had one of Spike's pancakes!” he added with a big grin.

Steel: “Strange. Spike suddenly has the urge to address himself in the third person!”

Cheerilee: Ohhh, I hope that happens to the dialogue. I’ve just been dreading this story so far!

“Mmm, they certainly smell delicious.” Fluttershy replied with a smile, closing her eyes a bit as she inhaled the lovely scent, making her feel a tad hungry despite the fact that she had already eaten.

twow: Big eater, are we?

Fluttershy: Well, I try to not show it in public.

Steel: Should come with me and Rainbow to the bar sometime, Fluttershy. We’ll show you a good time!

Cheerilee: All you do is get drunk!

Steel: Exactly! What’s better!?

Cheerilee: (Facehoof)

Spike flipped a finished one onto a plate beside him,

Steel: Adding a backflip. The Trottingham judge gave him a two out of ten.

Cheerilee: Pompadour Trousers is a really tough judge.

Steel: Yes he is.

 which already had a few pancakes on it; Twilight picking up the plate with her magic and replacing it with an empty one before bringing the first plate into the next room over, setting it down on the table.

twow: ALL of that will be on the test.

Steel: (Madly scribbles notes)

“C'mon, get 'em while they're still hot.” the unicorn spoke with a smile,

Steel: “Hot like me!” (Telekinetically slapped by Twilight) Ow.

 sitting down in one of the chairs while Fluttershy entered the small dining room, sitting down next to Twilight.

twow: I know something that’s hot, if ya know what I mean.

Fluttershy: The stove?

twow: (facepalm)

Steel: You know, if Fluttershy gets... ‘active’ again... it probably wouldn’t be hard for Twilight to ‘help out’. If y’ know what I mean.

Cheerilee: I do know what you mean. (Punches Steel in the ribs)

“So...have you made any progress in finding a spell?” Fluttershy asked quietly as she watched Twilight levitate a pancake onto her plate as well as her own plate.

Steel: “I’ve found several, but they all remove a lot more than just the cock.”

Cheerilee: Oh dear...

twow: They involve knives.

Fluttershy: TWOW!

twow: Sorry.

Steel: Not like Twilight would let something like THIS get away from her, anyway. (Telekinetically floored by Twilight) OW.

“Not really...I've searched pretty much every advanced spell book in here and I haven't found anything that could help.” Twilight shrugged, take a couple bites of her pancake.

“Well, that's okay...take your time, Twilight. To be honest, I'm kind of...enjoying it more.” Fluttershy smiled, blushing lightly.

Fluttershy: Quite the understatement, that is.

twow: You’ve screwed three of the elements of harmony already.

Steel: She can FEEL the Plot skullfucking her. She seeks to appease the Gods and answer appropriately.

“That's good to hear!” Twilight giggled, smiling back. “Considering how much you seemed to enjoy it a couple nights ago, I bet you could have a ton of fun with it, before the week is over.”

Steel: There was a time when I thought you were smarter than this, Twilight. Oh, woe is me.

Cheerilee: (Pats Steel on the back while shaking her head as the two sulk)

“I know.” the pegasus nodded with a grin. “I just hope Princess Celestia doesn't find out...she'd probably punish me for real if she caught me disobeying her.”

twow: Probably by making you fuck HER.

Steel: Kinky. (Slapped by Cheerilee) Stop hitting me!

Cheerilee: Stop making me more uncomfortable than I already am!

“That is true...well, who's going to find out? As long as nopony tells her, you're safe. It's not like she comes down out of Canterlot very often.” Twilight added, licking her lips as she finished her first pancake. “And judging by how good you are with it, I don't think anypony would betray you like that.”

Twilight (far away): I’M NOT THAT BIG A WHORE!!!!!

Steel: ... Did anyone hear anything?

twow: Eh. It was just the sound of rage. No biggie.

Cheerilee: Hm.

“I guess you're right.” Fluttershy giggled softly with a light blush at the complement. After finishing breakfast, the two returned to the main library, which was a mess with books scattered everywhere, for the most part. “Oh, my. You really were working hard, weren't you?”

twow: Either that or hardly working. AM I RIGHT?!

Fluttershy: (quietly stares at him)

twow: Maybe it wasn’t that funny.

Steel: “You should see my bedroom.”

Cheerilee: “The laundry room’s in an even worse state!”

Steel: Now you’re getting it, Miss Cheerilee.

Cheerilee: I try.

“Hehe...maybe a little.” Twilight giggled, blushing lightly. “I tend to get carried away when I study this hard.” she added, picking up a few of the scattered books with her magic, though blinking a bit as she spotted one that she wasn't expecting to see.

twow: “12 Ways to Enjoy Tentacles.”

Fluttershy: It was the only copy made.

Cheerilee: Oh my! Tentacles!? That reminds me of a wrong turn into the Everfree about three years ago...

Steel: LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT.

Cheerilee: Why not?

Steel: Because.

“Huh...I thought I returned this to Cheerilee weeks ago.” she thought out loud, taking it out of the pile and looking at the cover, reading “Anatomy II”.

Steel: The next book in the series was “Anatomy V: The After Biologies.”

Cheerilee: Interesting...

Gently grabbing the book from Twilight's magic aura, Fluttershy smiled warmly at the unicorn. “I could return it for you, Twilight. It's the least I could do for all this work you've done.”

Fluttershy: I didn’t even give her a quickie?

twow: DAMN Flutters!

Steel: (Sheds a few tears) I’m so proud...

Cheerilee: You two are so strange.

“Oh...well thanks, then!” Twilight nodded and smiled. “I need to get working on cleaning up this mess, anyways. See you later, then?” she added, beginning to levitate the various books with her magic again.

Steel: They did a tap dance on their way back to the shelves.

“See you later, Twilight.” Fluttershy replied with a nod, holding the book to her chest as she lightly flapped her wings, heading out of the library and into the warm, sunny weather. It was a little later into the morning now, so most of Ponyville was out and about, forcing the pegasus to fly up high as to not be seen by anypony.

twow: What about your fucking DRESS.

Fluttershy: I did forget to wear that. Oops?

Steel: Let’s not forget that she’s not actually hiding it anymore.

Cheerilee: Caught too many times?

Steel: More like ‘pleasantly discovered.’ You do NOT wanna know what this story did to Rarity.

Cheerilee: Oh dear...

Glancing up towards the sky, she took off and ascended toward the clouds, holding the book firmly in her front hooves.

By the time she arrived at the schoolhouse, recess had started, indicated by all the colts and fillies out around the back of the school at the playground area.

twow: “Miss Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy: “Yes?”

twow: “Why do you have what my brother has?”

Fluttershy: “I forgot to extend an invitation.”

Steel: “Why don’t you have a seat over there?”

Cheerilee: I’d have to break some necks if that happened.

Steel: (Scoots away from Cheerilee)

Cheerilee: N-Not literally!

Steel: Still terrifying.

Fluttershy smiled slightly at the happy sight as she landed in front of the school, lightly placing the book on her back and walking inside to the empty classroom, but not seeing Cheerilee at the desk. “Hm? Where did she go? I thought she stayed in here during recess...”

Fluttershy: There’s nowhere else she could have gone.

Cheerilee: The library, Sugarcube Corner, Embark Fields, the park, home, that little cafe down the street...

twow: Did you forget the fact that it’s RECESS? You can’t just leave your students!

Cheerilee: Well, I was making some examples. I never leave for more than a few minutes! How could I leave all those foals alone for half an hour?

Walking up to the desk, she gently placed the book down on it, but she didn't want to just leave it there without an explanation.

twow: Just put a sticky note on it.

Cheerilee: You have no idea how messy my desk can be.

twow: Put a LOT of sticky notes on it.

 She glanced out the window and didn't spot the teacher outside, though as she turned back toward the desks her ears perked up; a faint sound of moaning coming from the direction of the bathrooms.

Cheerilee: Oh, Luna in Heaven... this isn’t happening, is it?

Steel: I really am NOT surprised.

Cheerilee: I am! This is NOT how I act!

“Cheerilee...?” she quietly called out as she slowly approached the bathrooms, glancing down the hallway and seeing three doors; one marked “Colts”, one marked “Fillies”, and a third one that was unmarked, which seemed to be the source of the noise.

Fluttershy: ...the broom closet?

twow: I guess that seems legit.

Cheerilee: (Crawls under the desk) I can’t read anymore...

Steel: Oh come on! (Pulls Cheerilee back out) It’s just one chapter, then you’re done, alright?

Cheerilee: No!

Steel: (Grumbles) Fine, then I’ll hold you up.

 She slowly approached the third door and noticed that it was cracked open slightly, the soft moans now more audible with her being closer to it. Now realizing what was going on inside her cheeks tinted red once more.

Steel: “The placement of those brooms is simply... WONDERFUL!”

“Oh, my...is she really...in there?” she thought, leaning in closer to the door and peering in through the slight opening, her cheeks flushing a deeper red when she finally spotted the teacher pony. Cheerilee was sitting on the toilet, leaning back against the wall and moaning quietly with her eyes closed, while below, she slowly pushed a bright blue vibrator in and out of her dripping folds, while her other hoof lightly rubbed her clit in circles.

Cheerilee: (Covers her eyes as a blush lights up on her face) Oh my goodness, no!

Steel: Yep. That really did just happen.

Cheerilee: I don’t act like that, honest!

Steel: And I have no trouble believing that. This story just really goes at it for fucking up characters.

Fallen: (from TV) Oh, if she’s losing it now, wait until she and Fluttershy encounter each other.

Cheerilee: Nononononononononononononono...! This isn’t happening this isn’t happening this isn’t happening...

Fallen: Ain’t I a stinker?

Steel: Subscribing to Old News, Fallen?

Fluttershy: (slightly twitches)

twow: (hugs Fluttershy) Come on, we’ve done three of these. This CAN’T be that bad.

Fluttershy felt ashamed for spying on somepony like this,

Steel: Oh come on, story. Don’t lie to us. She’s loving this.

 but at the same time, she couldn't look away.

Steel: See?

Cheerilee: Nothappeningnothappeningnothappening... (hides behind Steel)

 She kept her eyes fixated on the maroon mare, watching as she pleasured herself, her wings spreading out as her own arousal grew. “This is so wrong...but...she's enjoying herself so much...” the pegasus thought, not noticing her member starting to stiffen between her legs as she kept watching.

twow: I’ve asked this before and I’ll ask it again. HOW do you not notice that?!

Steel: Maybe... she... doesn’t have any nerves in there?

Cheerilee: Make it stop! Why is she doing that in the SCHOOLHOUSE of all places!? This is so wrong!!

“Mmmnh...” Cheerilee moaned quietly, gradually pushing the vibrating toy in and out of her moist snatch faster as her orgasm built up, rubbing and pressing the fleshy love nub harder, only stimulating it even more and boosting her pleasure higher.

twow: The pleasure has been doubled!

Fluttershy: I doubt Princess Luna would like this.

Steel: SHE CANNA TAKE MUCH MOOR, CAP’N! And Princess Luna would probably blow the computer up.

 The toy was just about soaked with her warm essence by now, causing it to glisten in the light each time it was pulled out.

Cheerilee: (Just blushes harder) Oh, this is so wrong... can’t believe I’m still reading!

twow: ♫Under the moonlight...♫ (smacked by Cheerilee)

Cheerilee: THIS IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH WITHOUT YOUR SINGING!

Fallen: (from TV) THANK you.

twow: (mock pouts) Fluttershy likes it.

Fluttershy continued to watch, trying to be as silent as possible; her member stiffening further, quickly becoming fully hard, gently throbbing as it stood proudly at its full size.

Steel: The flag flew at half-mast however. Fifty readers died upon reading the last paragraph. A moment of silence for the fallen... (Bows his head)

It was then that she finally took notice of it, noticing the familiar tingly feeling coming from it; quickly glancing down and gasping softly as she saw it throbbing lightly and fully erect.

Fluttershy: That took me long enough.

twow: Please. Never say that again.

Steel: She’s right, though. Seriously, this is just filler now.

Cheerilee: FILLER!? THIS IS TORTURE! I-I’m reading about myself MASTURBATING!

Steel: Yep. Get used to it.

 “Oh no...this is not good...!” she thought, glancing back towards Cheerilee and seeing her still absorbed in her pleasure. The pegasus' mind was conflicted, wanting to quickly leave before anypony saw her, but at the same time, feeling urges to walk in on the teacher and give her a good ride.

twow: OH MAI.

Fluttershy: Because she’s gonna do the right thing and leave.

Steel: I absolutely love how Fluttershy’s bravery has made a complete 180 by now, and she’s just pondering on fucking whatever mare she comes across.

Cheerilee: MAKE IT STOP!

By now, Cheerilee's breathing had quickened, and she was pushing the toy in and out quite fast, the “shlick”  noise it was making now quite audible from outside.

twow: Prompting all the foals to run inside, confused.

Steel: They thought Cheerilee was hogging all the ice cream, obviously!

Cheerilee: Eep... (Covers her eyes again)

 Biting her lip hard, she stifled a loud moan as she finally came, her juices splashing all over the toy and a bit onto the toilet seat as well; her hoof shoving the toy all the way inside for a few moments as she basked in her orgasm, before slowly sliding it back out again.

Cheerilee: Oh my goodness... I feel so dirty now!

Steel: You get used to it.

Cheerilee: I am NOT getting used to this! T-This is so wrong, so horrifically wrong! A-And i-it was d-done in the s-s-s-school b-b-b-b-b-bathroom!

Steel: You doing alright?

Cheerilee: No, I’m not! I just read about a slutty version of myself masturbating right to climax in a place of learning! What if somepony came in and found me!?

Steel: Knowing this story? You would’ve given them the ride of their lives. (Chucked across the room by Cheerilee) WOAH!

Cheerilee: DETENTION!

twow: Have fun!

She sighed contently and slumped a bit on the seat, slowly opening her eyes at what was probably the worst possible time, for Fluttershy.

Steel: “Oh good, I was getting tired of the toy.”

 The pegasus was glancing down at her member, trying to pull her dress in a way that would cover it. “Fluttershy...?” she thought, her cheeks flushing red as she realized that the pegasus had been watching her, though her eyes widened more when she caught a glimpse of the large member Fluttershy's legs. “F-Fluttershy?!”

Fluttershy: Yes, my name is Fluttershy.

twow: Quite the beautiful name, to be sure.

Fluttershy: Come again?

twow: Nothing.

Steel: “Cheerilee!?”

Cheerilee: “FLUTTERSHY!?”

Steel: “CHEERILEE!???”

Cheerilee/Steel: “AHHHHHHHH!!!!”

The pegasus' head shot straight up again as she looked back at Cheerilee, her face and cheeks flushing red in embarrassment.

Steel: As if.

Cheerilee: Please, just stop.

 She wanted to just bolt for the nearest exit, but she found that her legs were frozen in fear. The next thing she knew, she was pulled into the bathroom, the door quickly shutting behind her. “I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...” she stuttered, but was interrupted by the maroon mare.

twow: “Spread em.” (looks around) No smack?

Fluttershy: No smack.

Steel: “Gladly.” (Chucked through the wall by Cheerilee) OHGOD!

Cheerilee: I reallydon’t wanna hear about that.

“First of all, what are you doing here,” she started, giving the pegasus a slight glare.

twow: “Watching you.”

Steel: I DON’T KNOW WHY SHE’S SO INDIGNANT. THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU’RE DOING IT, STUPID MARE!

Cheerilee: Indeed! Stupid mare!

“Second, why were you spying on me,

twow: “You were masturbating.”

Cheerilee: And apparently, it just couldn’t wait until she was home.

 and third, what is THAT?” she continued, pointing at the stiff pole between Fluttershy's legs, which was still throbbing softly.

twow: “It’s a dick.”

Cheerilee: Oh come now, I TEACH foals about that. She should know what it is!

Fluttershy gulped softly, regaining her composure slightly before replying. “Um...I was just here to return a book. Twilight told me that she borrowed it from you a while ago.” she started, still blushing in embarrassment.

Fluttershy: Still don’t understand how NOpony heard her before this.

twow: Her cries woke the moon.

Steel: Recess. Every child is obligated to be outside at recess.

Cheerilee: Outside, or detention! Well, not really. I just usher them out so they can have some fun.

 “And...I'm sorry for spying on you...I just couldn't help myself...” she added, looking at the floor. “I'm really, really, really sorry...I promise I won't do it again!”

twow: “Probably!”

Steel/Cheerilee: Oh that’s nonsense, and you know it!

“Oh, don't worry about it, Fluttershy. No harm done.” Cheerilee smiled slightly, gently patting Fluttershy's shoulder. “...but still, what in Equestria is that thing?” she asked, her eyes moving down to the pegasus' eager member, not sure if she should be scared or highly aroused.

Steel: ... Is this kind of thing fucking NORMAL in this country!?

Cheerilee: I’ve never heard of it!

Steel: Neither have I, and I’ve been here for half a year!

Cheerilee: Really?

Steel: What, Twilight never talks about me?

Cheerilee: Besides minor groans of discontent, no.

Steel: ... Ow, that hurts.

“Well, putting it simply, it's a magic punishment I got from Celestia. I have it for a week.” Fluttershy explained, looking back up at Cheerilee. “But, it's not as bad as it seems, really...”

Fluttershy: “Besides the fact that I HAVE A DICK!”

twow: (hugs Fluttershy again.) Hang in there.

Fallen: (from TV) Always Fluttershy with the potty mouth...

Steel: And then comes the story about why she got punished in the first place.

Cheerilee: She doesn’t actually tell it, does she?

Steel: I think you’ll be spared that much.

“Celestia, huh? I see...” Cheerilee nodded, her eyes widening a bit in surprise. “Celestia, hmm...wonder what she could have done to anger Celestia to the point of giving her...one of those?”

Steel: Well, that, and she’s right in front of you, Cheerilee. Ask.

Cheerilee: I’d rather notlearn about a mysterious... penis appearing on one of my friends.

twow: She didn’t invite Celestia to a BSDM. I couldn’t make that up if I tried.

Cheerilee: (Shudders) Oh dear...

 she thought; trying to fight it, but her head inevitably started to fill with dirty thoughts as she stared at Fluttershy's throbbing endowment. “And...it's essentially the real thing, isn't it?” she asked, sounding a bit more interested.

Fluttershy: “No, it’s fake. What do you THINK.”

twow: I think that you’re getting quite agitated.

Steel: (Forehead hits the desk as he falls asleep) ZZZZZZZZZZZ...

“Yeah...it works just like a stallion's, as far as I know.” Fluttershy nodded, glancing down at her endowment for a second. “I mean...it does feel really, really good....when I use it like that.” she added, smiling nervously at Cheerilee.

twow: (faceceilings)

Fluttershy: Um...

Cheerilee: Oh... well, that’s quite... impressive.

Steel: Zzzzzzzz...

Fallen: (from TV) WAKE THE FUCK UP.

Steel: Go die. (Falls back asleep)

Cheerilee nodded softly, too distracted by her thoughts to say anything meaningful at the moment. “Hm...so she's a hermaphrodite...never thought I'd see one of those with my own eyes.” she thought. “Maybe I can use this situation to my advantage...a little after-class fun couldn't hurt.

twow: (facefloors)

Fluttershy: Stop that twow!

Cheerilee: I’m impressed with how he can do that at all, while sitting in that chair...

Been forever since I had some real fun.” she continued, before looking back toward Fluttershy. “Getting back on topic, you shouldn't have been spying on me, Fluttershy. I'm afraid I'll have to give you a detention for that.” she added, a playful smirk appearing on her face as she winked to Fluttershy.

All: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Steel: I WANT TO BURN THIS STORY SO BAAAAAAD.

Cheerilee: As do I! This is a complete insult!

“Oh...my.” the pegasus softly replied, blushing again to the teacher pony's clear intentions. “Okay...Ms. Cheerilee. See you after class, then?” she asked, getting a nod from the maroon pony.

twow: So, we’re just gonna ignore what just happened?

Fluttershy: It looks like that.

Cheerilee: Why does this story want to torture me so badly?

Steel: Because. The author really needs clop like that.

With a slight smile in return, she promptly opened the door again and left; a few minutes of recess still remaining as she swiftly exited and flew away from the building, making sure nopony saw her.

Cheerilee smiled to herself, giggling softly. “Well...this is going to be one fun detention.” she thought as she cleaned up the mess she had made.

Fluttershy: “I’m going to pull out the math book!”

Steel: Considering how into BDSM Fluttershy is, I know exactly how that’s gonna be used.

twow: If you put another picture like that in my head, I’m going to throw you into my black hole trash can.

Steel: As if you weren’t already picturing it.

Later in the afternoon, after the school day had finished, Fluttershy returned to the schoolhouse once more, lightly pressing the door open and peering inside, seeing Cheerilee sitting at the desk at the front of the classroom.

twow: “Did you bring your homework?”

Fluttershy: “It’s all in my dress!”

Steel: “You’ll have to poke around for the scroll though, and it unwraps in a special way.”

Cheerilee: STOP. STOP RIGHT NOW.

“There you are, my dear.” Cheerilee cheerily greeted the pegasus with a warm smile, watching as she slowly entered, closing the door behind her. “Come here, have a seat.” she added in her usual sweet tone, motioning to the chair beside her desk.

twow: “It’s a trap!”

Steel: Makes me think of Spaceballs with that ‘my dear’ line.

Cheerilee: What?

Steel: You’ll learn.

Fluttershy slowly approached the desk and sat down in the chair as she was told. “So, Fluttershy...why were you spying on me, hm? You know it's impolite to watch people without them knowing.” she continued, winking to the pegasus.

twow: It’s also rude as fuck to masturbate IN THE CLASSROOM during SCHOOL HOURS.

Fluttershy: That’s KIND of important.

Steel: Bathroom, recess, no kids around.

Cheerilee: AS IF THAT JUSTIFIES IT!

Steel: Very true.

“I just couldn't help myself, Ms. Cheerilee...I heard you moaning and my curiosity got the best of me.” Fluttershy softly answered, not exactly sure what Cheerilee was planning, but just playing along for now. “And you just looked so...hot...” she added with a blush.

Fluttershy: Um. How about NO.

twow: I guess you could say that Cheerilee was on fire. (smacked by both mares)

Cheerilee: I’m right here, Fluttershy. A bit cold with that comment, but I understand it in this context.

Steel: And you can burn for that comment, T.

twow: I C WAT U DID THAR. (smacked by Steel)

Steel: You shoulda seen that coming, too.

“Is that so...well, spying is against the rules, young lady. Especially spying on teachers during recess.” Cheerilee replied, trying not to giggle from how ridiculous she was sounding, even to herself.

Fluttershy: Don’t know if can handle this...

twow: Sure you can. I’m here for you.

Steel: Cheerilee, on the other hand?

Cheerilee: (Shaking uncontrollably)

Steel: ... Yeah.

 “You know the punishment for spying, don't you?”

Cheerilee: BREAK!!! BREAK RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Fluttershy: PLEASE.

twow: We’d better.

Fallen: (from TV) What did I tell you? Real creepy, real quick.

Cheerilee: Do ponies REALLY think of me like this!?

Steel: No. Actually, I haven’t seen anyone think of you like this in a story. Kind of unique in that respect...

Fluttershy: (mumbling) Kind of wish I had that luxury.

Cheerilee: Some ideas should NEVER BE WRITTEN, Steel!

Steel: Oh, agree completely.

Cheerilee: I just read about me masturbating in a bathroom, during school hours, using a ‘toy’ that I have no idea what it even is! Not just that, but I just invited a FRIEND for ‘fun’!!! AGH!

twow: You alright Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: (quietly) Not really...

twow: Ah shit. Now you’re breaking?

Fallen: NOW she’s really breaking? Where was that when the rest of the story was happening?

Fluttershy: (mumbling again) Thought I could handle it...

twow: But Fluttershy, you sounded so sure of yourself in the first few chapters.

Fluttershy: I SOUNDED like it. That didn’t mean I really WAS.

twow: Oh. Wanna talk about it?

Fluttershy: I don’t hate riffing with you, Fallen, Steel or any of us. But it’s the stories like this that start to really hurt.

twow: In what way?

Fluttershy: Look at this twow. Is this me?

twow: Well, no...

Fluttershy: Exactly! Why do all these stories have me be something I’m not?! I would never take advantage of my friends like this, I wouldn’t go around practically begging for sex, and I’m NOT. LIKE. THIS! (breaks down crying)

twow: Look Flutters. These authors, they don’t really understand that, you know? But you know what matters?

Fluttershy: What?

twow: The fact that you’re with the people that DO understand. I know that it’s not gonna be easy all the time, and that these stories tend to whack at our sore spots. But, sitting through here with some friends and taking it apart? Fighting past those? That’s what matters. And no matter what these stories say, I know the real Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: ...You mean that?

twow: Of course! I didn’t say that you were my favorite pony just for the laughs. I meant that. I like you for youand no horrible fic that we sit though is gonna change that. Not by a long shot.

Fluttershy: ...Thank you twow.

twow: (hugs Fluttershy, who hugs back)

Pinkie: (from TV) Awwwwww!

Fallen: ...huh. That was... something.

Steel: (Just quietly listens to the discussion, waiting for it to end) ... No one’s worried about the newbie here? (Shrugs, patting Cheerilee on the back) Guess T’s got his hands full.

Cheerilee: Just let me out, please... I don’t wanna read this anymore. (Lightly bangs her forehead against the desk repeatedly)

Steel: It’ll be over soon, then we’ll be back to our usual studying and tests and all that crazy nonsense.

Cheerilee: How soon? How soon before this horrible insult aimed at me and Fluttershy is over?

Steel: For you? Couple more pages. For Fluttershy over there? Couple more chapters.

Cheerilee: And she’s ‘riffed’ every single one so far?

Steel: And far more than just this story. She’s a soldier, just like the rest of us.

Fallen: Don’t I know it. If she can come out of “Momma Fluttershy” in one piece, she can stomach anything. Granted, she only BARELY made it out of “Momma Fluttershy” in one piece...

Cheerilee: How does she do it...?

Fallen: I imagine a semi-crippling addiction to brain bleach helps. Also... those two haven’t stopped hugging.

(twow and Fluttershy break apart, both slightly blushing)

Fluttershy: Thank you twow.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Cheerilee: Oh no, not yet!!

Steel: Seems hero hour’s over... back to it.

“Um...n-no ma'am.” Fluttershy replied, smiling lightly to how silly she was sounding as well, though quickly frowning cutely, keeping up with the little game. “What are you going to do...?”

Cheerilee: I really don’t wanna know...

Steel: Roleplay. Oh good God, we’re getting into the thick of it now... you gonna last through this?

Cheerilee: What do you think? All the things I teach those kids... and then I read something like this. Makes me sick...

Steel: (Lounges in his chair) Then treat like I do. Story characters are just that, characters. They’re produced and played in a way that suits the author’s story and plot line, and in no way relate back to the base characters, such as you and Fluttershy. It’s a mere mis-representation in order to suit the story.

Cheerilee: Doesn’t change the fact that this... whoreis wearing my name.

Steel: And I don’t think this’d change the minds of your friends and peers, if someone read this.

Cheerilee: And how are you so sure about that?

Steel: Considering they work with you everyday, and know you better than anyone else? I don’t think I need to answer that.

Cheerilee: ...

Cheerilee smirked playfully, pulling one of the drawers open and taking out a yardstick, holding it with one hoof and lightly tapping it against her other. “Lean over the desk, Fluttershy dear.”

twow: It’s time for a spanking!

Fluttershy: (shudders and leans on twow)

twow: Forget I said that.

Steel: Oh for fuck’s sake. This is a riff, not a movie.

Cheerilee: I wish it was a nice movie...

 she spoke, watching as the pegasus stood up from the chair and leaned onto the desk, her upper body laying across it while her back legs still touched the floor, holding up her lower body.

“Mm, perfect, now just stay like that.” the teacher pony nodded, moving behind Fluttershy and grabbing the edge of her dress, lifting it up to reveal the pegasus' rear.

Fluttershy: I’m in the process of rearing back from this story.

twow: Nice one!

Steel: By the end of the chapter, you’ll be through the wall, I figure.

 Glancing down a bit further, she spotted the pair of yellow balls, licking her lips slightly. “So she wasn't kidding...” she thought with a slight smirk, before raising up the yardstick.

twow: Bitch, you SAW it a few hours ago!

Steel: Just the rod, mind you.

Cheerilee: As if that makes a difference!

“Twenty lashes for breaking a large rule, young lady.” she added, before bringing the wooden plank down onto the pegasus' rump with a decent amount of force.

Steel: Twenty more, since I’m pretty sure she’s gonna break THAT large rule as well.

“Nnh!” Fluttershy gasped as the wood smacked her delicate rear, though the amount of force Cheerilee used was just enough for it to hurt slightly, but not too much. “Oww...is this the same game Luna was playing with me?”

Fluttershy: Didn’t the story SAY that we had BSDM?

twow: Did Luna just not like spanking you?

Steel: BDSM. And it never suggested that Story Fluttershy ever saw it as more than a game.

Cheerilee: I don’t even likedoing that.

 she thought, gasping and crying out quietly each time the yardstick spanked her. After six or seven spanks though, the pain slowly began to turn to pleasure as her buttcheeks tinted red, becoming more sensitive to touch.

twow: They looked like radioactive tomatoes.

Fluttershy: (giggles)

twow: There’s the Fluttershy I know and love.

Steel: ...

Cheerilee: ...

(Steel and Cheerilee just kinda stare at Fluttershy and Twow.)

twow: Da hell is wrong with you two?

Steel: Nothing...

Cheerilee: Just... sort of confused. That’s all.

(They both blink and turn back to the screen, not completely sure what to make of what just happened.)

“Getting there...” Cheerilee thought, watching as the pegasus' rump became quite rosy, also seeing her member slowly poking out of the sheath and starting to harden. By the twentieth spank, Fluttershy's endowment had become almost fully stiff, throbbing lightly in arousal while a bead of pre formed on the tip. “Mm, that's much better...”

Steel: Same terms, same process. You can change the trick, but that doesn’t change the dog performing it.

“Ooh...Ms. Cheerilee...” Fluttershy softly panted, looking back at the maroon pony, blushing quite a bit from her arousal. “Is my punishment over...?”

Steel: ... She really just asked that, didn’t she?

Fluttershy: This makes no sense!

twow: Actually, I think this is a phrase used in bondage.

Steel: All I’m asking is why she honestly thinks it’s over yet.

Cheerilee: (Mumbles about asking the same thing)

“Not quite yet, my little pony.” Cheerilee replied with a playful smirk, setting the yardstick down on the desk. She then moved directly behind the pegasus, and placed her front hooves against the red-tinted cheeks, starting to gently massage them.

Fluttershy: My...cheeks.

twow: I think I can see what she’s getting at.

Fluttershy: Really?

twow: They’re just so CUTE. (smacked by Fluttershy)

Steel: (Glances over at Cheerilee, who’s now hiding under the desk again) Kinda sucks being the sideshow guys, eh, Miss Cheerilee?

Cheerilee: The less spotlight on me, the better!

“I'm just getting started.” she added, before leaning her head down and sticking her tongue out, pressing it against the two moist pink lips, causing Fluttershy to gasp in surprise and pleasure.

Steel: Yep. I just thought about how those two reproductive organs are connected. Now I can’t tell the joke without puking.

twow: Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

“Nnh...wh-what are you going to do?” Fluttershy asked, moaning cutely as she felt the tongue slurping over her moist nether lips, teasing her with pleasure which only caused her member to stiffen further, quickly becoming fully hard after only a few moments.

Cheerilee: “You, plus ruler, plus force. Basic arithmetic, dear!”

Steel: So, as long as you’re out of sight, you can tell jokes?

Cheerilee: Like I said, Steel.

Steel: I got it.

Fluttershy: Can I...

twow: No, you can’t hide from the story.

Fluttershy: Can I hide behind YOU?

twow: Sorry, Fallen wouldn't let you. Maybe this’ll help? (hugs Fluttershy)

 The massaging to her abused rear only added to the pleasure; the two red-tinted cheeks having become quite erogenous after being spanked so much.

“Shh...let your teacher work, darling.”

Steel: “But I’m not enrolled in your class!”

Cheerilee: “You are now.”

 Cheerilee replied, mid-closing her eyes as she continued to gently massage the pegasus' rump and slurp over her pink slit, slowly working her way lower to the two hefty orbs hanging between Fluttershy's legs.

twow: Bluh.

She stroked her tongue across the smooth sack, delighting in the taste of them, while bringing her right front hoof down to Fluttershy's crotch, beginning to lightly stroke her throbbing member.

Cheerilee: Not helping~.

Steel: You expected it to?

The lusty pegasus laid still as the teacher pony worked, panting softly and moaning quietly from all the teasing; her arousal increasing further and further with each passing moment, all the teasing to her shaft and balls easily procuring precum from the tip of her member. “That feels...nnh, so nice...Ms. Cheerilee...”

Cheerilee: “Oh, good, I won’t feel so bad about the coming beating!”

Steel: Gotta use that ruler somehow. You’re getting better at this, Teach.

Cheerilee: Believe me, I’m really trying. (Still hiding under the desk)

Cheerilee grinned to the complement, continuing to gently lick and nuzzle the pegasus' hefty balls and stroke her member teasingly a little longer, feeling the warm pre smearing onto her hoof. “Hmm...seems we're ready to move on, my naughty student.”

twow: “This is why you got an F!”

Fluttershy: “And that’s not just because your name starts with one.”

 she spoke in a sultry tone, bringing her hoof back and lapping up the small amount of pre from it, before grasping Fluttershy's waist, pushing her further onto the desk and turning her over onto her back.

Steel: She then pulled out a hammer, deciding to play Whack A Mole. (Punched in the balls by Cheerilee) AHHHOOWWWWW!

Cheerilee: You DESERVED that!

twow: Ouch.

Fluttershy gasped softly from the sudden movement, glancing down towards Cheerilee and watching as she climbed up onto the desk as well, slowly turning herself around and getting into position on top of the pegasus, ending up with Fluttershy's member right in front of her face, while Fluttershy's gaze met with her own moist nether lips.

twow: “Aww, are you gonna kiss me?” (lightly smacked by Fluttershy) That one didn’t hurt either.

Fluttershy: I know.

Fallen: (from TV) ...odd.

“Go on, Fluttershy dear. Don't disappoint your teacher.” Cheerilee continued in her sultry tone, glancing back at the pegasus for a moment as she grasped the lightly-throbbing member, continuing to gently stroke it up and down, before lowering her snout to it and pressing her lips against the tip, beginning to gently suckle and slurp the head of it.

twow: Just like a sucker.

Fluttershy: I didn’t want to eat those again anyway.

Steel: Noone’sgonnabelearningthisfromthisteacher! (Punched in the gut by Cheerilee) Ahow...

Cheerilee: That one, I just felt like it.

“Oohh...y-yes, ma'am...” Fluttershy moaned from the gentle pleasure, Cheerilee's efforts quickly being rewarded with droplets of precum. Reaching her arms up,

Steel: Appendage switching, because we can’t use the word ‘forelegs’ anymore!

twow: I feel the legitness.

 Fluttershy grasped the teacher pony's flanks, her hooves right over the two cutie marks, before gently pulling her waist downward while moving her head forward, her cheeks tinting red again as she closed her eyes and stuck her tongue out, starting to slowly drag it over the moist pink lips from bottom to top.

Fluttershy: I really don’t wanna be here anymore.

twow: (softly squeezes Fluttershy)

Steel: This is definitely gonna be on the test. Better note the technique... (writes down notes)

Cheerilee: This would never be on one of my tests... (writes down notes as well)

“Good Celestia...that tongue!” Cheerilee thought, closing her eyes and groaning around Fluttershy's member; greatly enjoying the feel of the tongue dragging across her nether lips at a teasingly slow pace, flicking over her clit as well each time it went up.

Steel: Hello, Sir Semi-Colon! How are you today?

Sir Semi-Colon: Oh, quite grand, sir! I do feel rather awkward with my placement, however.

Steel: As do I.

Cheerilee: ... Who was that?

twow: WHAT THE FU-

 She returned the favor by continuing to stroke the pegasus' member up and down, pursing her lips around the throbbing pole and swirling her tongue against the head of it, beginning to slowly bob her head up and down.

Steel: Sure are a lot of ‘beginnings’ in this chapter.

Cheerilee: Not nearly enough endings.

Fluttershy: Please. That means we’d be free of this faster.

twow: You’re starting to scare me.

Steel: We can dream!

The stroking and sucking to her sensitive member only boosted Fluttershy's pleasure further, more of her warm pre flowing over Cheerilee's tongue while she panted and moaned happily.

Cheerilee: The pressure built and built, and just like a water tank after somepony left the tap on too long, she exploded!

Steel: That’d be a show.

twow: Oh hai “Momma Fluttershy” flashbacks. Missed you.

 She slurped over the moist pink lips a few more times

Cheerilee: What horrible manners, ‘slurping’. I know she learned how to eat properly back home.

Steel: Good God, Cheerilee, what’s gotten into you?

Cheerilee: I don’t know! Help me!

twow: You still have a little sanity.

Fallen: (from TV, cracks knuckles) Not for long.

 before pressing her snout against them and plunging her tongue inside, starting to firmly lick along the soft inner walls, only eliciting more pleased moans from the maroon mare.

Steel: “Huh. Sounds kind of like an outboard motor...”

Cheerilee: It needs a lot more attention if it sounds like that.

Steel: Like you choking on a— (stops as Cheerilee’s hoof comes very close to hitting his crotch again) I’ll shut up now.

Cheerilee: Good idea.

Cheerilee was indeed grunting and moaning blissfully

Steel: Is the author just having trouble now? He just told us what Cheerilee was doing. Again.

Cheerilee: Clearly, this writer has not spent enough time in school.

Fluttershy: Or understanding females.

twow: True dat.

Steel: Amen.

 from the skilled tongue invading her hot snatch,

Steel: “Too hot! Too hot!” (Breathes fire)

Cheerilee: Wow.

twow: She’s on fire!

 wiggling her lower body back and forth a bit as she took the pegasus' member deeper into her mouth, pursing her lips tighter around it and bobbing her head faster, eagerly lapping up the warm pre that was flowing from the tip.

Fluttershy: There was that much?!

twow: Flowing like a waterfall.

Steel: Because biological limits really haven’t been broken yet.

 “Nnnh, if I had known she was this good, I would have played with her sooner!” she thought, her cheeks reddening as she felt her orgasm building up quickly.

Cheerilee: Please, Author. I’m not that loose.

Fallen: (from TV) But I can name two ponies who are.

Steel: Let’s not learn those names. Our balls would be at risk.

Fallen: I don’t think they’re into humans. Well, one is, but not like THAT. I’ve seen the other hit on Spitfire, though. Plus, I HAVE seen a handful that were willing to date humans. And one of them... still just an assumption right now, but I think it’s somepony close to me.

twow: Part of me wants to know...

Fluttershy: And all of me says that you shouldn’t.

Steel: And all of me just wonders about why we’re talking about this.

Fluttershy wasn't too far off either, trying her best to hold back her imminent orgasm; her member throbbing more in Cheerilee's mouth as it was sucked deeper still, more of her warm pre smearing across the mare's tongue from the teasing rubs her hefty balls were receiving.

Fluttershy: And then they exploded!

(twow and Steel jump and cover their groins)

twow: Fuck, Flutters!

Steel: W-W-Worse than a Sonic Rainboom to the crotch! AT LEAST I CAN SURVIVE THAT!

“C-can't cum...yet...” she thought, closing her eyes tightly as she focused on her own work, pressing her tongue as deep as she could get it inside the hot love tunnel, managing to brush along the sensitive G-spot inside, Cheerilee shuddering from the sudden shock of pleasure.

twow: Quite shocking. (smacked by Cherrilee)

Cheerilee: I’m not even going to comment on that. I’ll just hit you some more. (Slaps twow a few more times) Honestly! Such a bad joke.

Steel: All I’m wondering about is why the ‘G-spot’ is a biological term.

Cheerilee: Hmmm... should read up on that.

Fluttershy's tongue managed to stroke and prod the sweet spot a few more times, quickly bringing on the teacher pony's orgasm after a few more moments, and not a moment too soon, either. As Cheerilee groaned blissfully, she felt Fluttershy's member throb hard in her mouth, starting to gush thick shots of steamy seed into her mouth.

twow: Ewwww.

Fluttershy: (gags)

Steel: Is anyone else worried about how Cheerilee’s windpipe is openduring this? That’d be a horrible way to go.

Surprised by the sudden ejaculation, her head jerked back by instinct, the twitching member still releasing Fluttershy's load, splashing all over Cheerilee's face and chest now.

twow: Bathing. With style. (curb-stomped by Cheerilee.)

Cheerilee: SILENCE!

Fluttershy: AH!

Steel: Well...

“Nnnh, Fluttershy...!” she moaned, the pegasus still slurping along her insides throughout her orgasm, lapping up all the sweet juices flowing out, her cheeks flushed red from all the pleasure of her own orgasm.

Steel: Does red even appear all that well on maroon?

Cheerilee: I’m not going to let you find out.

Steel: ... Huh, it does.

Cheerilee: What!? Oh, back under the desk! (Zips back under the desk, hiding her face)

 Once both of their orgasms had subsided a few moments later, Fluttershy slowly pulled her snout back, licking her lips slightly and glancing up toward Cheerilee.

“That was...nice.” Fluttershy quietly spoke, still blushing as she smiled slightly, now seeing the sticky strands of her cum all over Cheerilee's face. “Hehe...sorry, Ms. Cheerilee...”

Fluttershy: “You opened your mouth too quickly.”

twow: Uhhhh...

Steel: ... Seriously. Fluttershy should just solo one of these, see what happens.

“Mm, not a problem, dear.” Cheerilee giggled softly, licking some of the salty fluid from around her lips, turning around on top of the pegasus. “You've certainly earned yourself an A+ from me.”

twow: Are we done yet?

Steel: Not. Even. Close.

Cheerilee: OH, WHY!?!?!

Fluttershy: $(%#

twow: You are all welcome for that censorship.

Steel: I ain’t using it.

Pinkie: (from TV) How do you even PRONOUNCE dollar sign-parenthesis-percent sign-number sign?

Steel: Exactly like that, Pinkie.

Fallen: (from TV) ...how do you know what a dollar sign IS?

 she added, poking her tongue out playfully as she gently lowered herself down, cuddling against Fluttershy and nuzzling her snout.

Cheerilee: “Now, about your extracurricular work...”

Steel: Dear God, it’s like she was born to do this.

“Oh...glad to hear it...” Fluttershy smiled back, gently wrapping her front legs around Cheerilee's body and returning the gentle cuddles, sighing contently.

twow: Not in this context, but I do love some cuddles.

Fluttershy: What kind?

twow: Ya know...just cuddles.

Fluttershy: Like this? (leans into twow’s side)

twow: HGN.

Steel: Ugh. More clop! My heart’s gonna explode at this rate.

Fallen: (from TV) I think that’s more from the diabetes.

“I don't suppose you'd be up for some extra credit though, would you?”

Cheerilee: Oh, I knew it!

 The maroon mare teased with a lusty grin, her tail lightly flicking back and forth, brushing over Fluttershy's member, which was still somewhat stiff. “It's not every day I meet a dickfilly, you know!”

All: ...........

twow: Well. That’s a new one.

Fluttershy: That’s kinda rude!

Steel: The OOC. It is so far through the roof that Luna’s had to fix the Moon’s de-orbit three times.

Fluttershy blushed again to the proposition. She was already somewhat tired from her orgasm, but she didn't want to displease Cheerilee. “She does have a good point...” she thought, giggling in her head. “If you insist, Ms. Cheerilee.” she added, returning the gentle nuzzles with a smile.

twow: I don’t think the extra credit is worth it.

Fluttershy: I already have the A+!

Steel: I’d say something to the contrary, but I don’t think Cheerilee would stop until I was a bloody smear on the wall.

Cheerilee: And you’re right.

“Mm, thank you, dear.” Cheerilee replied, gently slurping Fluttershy's cheek,

Cheerilee: Where’d her manners go?

Steel: Out the window a while ago.

 before slowly getting up off the desk, moving beside it where there was a bit more space, before leaning down toward the floor, raising her lower body up higher, presenting for the hermaphrodite pegasus. “Come...don't keep your teacher waiting!”

twow: ....Damn. I got nothing again.

Fluttershy: “Don’t make me keep you for study hall!”

twow: DAAAAAAAMN.

Steel: ... Yeah, I’ll leave it at that.

The sight of the maroon flanks only served to rekindle Fluttershy's arousal, her member responding by throbbing eagerly once more.

Steel: Well, at least it’s following the formula.

 She climbed off the desk as well and quickly removed her dress, before approaching the teacher from behind, gently mounting her and positioning over her body so that she was on top, feeling the tip of her pride press against the warm slit below. “Are you ready...?”

All except Steel: NO!

Steel: Seriously? You DIDN’T see this coming? It’s an obvious pattern, c’mon! Two orgasms with every character!

twow: That doesn’t mean we WANT it.

“Of course, my dear...go ahead and show your teacher how you buck.” Cheerilee replied with a smirk back toward Fluttershy. “Oh wow...this is really happening!” she thought with excitement, eager to see if a hermaphrodite was as good as a male, in this kind of sex.

twow: Survey says?

Steel: Survey says “Stop writing, Author, we’re dying of old age here!”

Cheerilee: Justenough to keep their attention, but not enough to be worthwhile.

Steel: Couldn’t’ve said it better myself.

“Alright...here goes.” Fluttershy quietly replied, pressing herself a bit more onto Cheerilee as she pushed her waist forward as well, closing her eyes as she felt her stiff pride penetrate the teacher's moist nether lips, hearing her gasp from below.

Steel: Cheerilee had fallen straight through to Equestrian China.

Cheerilee: She must have some very strong lungs!

Steel: I think I’d gasp too if Fluttershy’s weight made a tunnel through the planet’s core. And probably shout as I fell.

 “Ooh, wow...she's almost as tight as Rarity!”

Fallen: (from TV) I can picture her raging now...

(A bathtub flies through the wall next to Fallen)

Steel: I think that was her.

Fallen: Oh. Hi, Rare.

twow: WHAT THE HELL?!

Rarity: Oh, my apologies! I just had a sudden urge to demolish a wall... something about ‘tight’, I believe. I’ll just be taking my bath now. (Sheepishly grins as she drags the bathtub back outside)

Fluttershy: Well. That happened.

Fallen: Not the first thing involving one of you that’s baffled me today.

Fluttershy thought, moaning softly already, the hot walls already feeling like they were constricting her member.

“Aahh...y-you certainly feel bigger than you look!” Cheerilee gasped softly,

Fluttershy: That makes no sense.

twow: It does if you refuse to think about it.

Steel: It’s like all those SUV commercials, only backwards. Bigger on the outside, but smaller on the inside!

twow: It’s like a reverse TARDIS.

Cheerilee: ... I just can’t make him stop, can I?

Fluttershy: He sounds like twow when he’s not restraining himself. Speaking of that, ARE you restraining yourself?

twow: Course not! And if I was, it wouldn’t be because I’m trying to avoid hurting your feelings or anything like that. (turns away mumbling)

Fallen: ...god, the VIBES.

her cheeks blushing darkly as she felt the large shaft pushing inside her, soon sinking almost completely inside her warm depths. As she savored the light pleasure, she could feel it throb inside her, pulsing against her soft inner walls.

Steel: Wait. Lightpleasure?

Cheerilee: Guess Little Miss Fluttershy isn’t as good as the story let on.

Steel: That, or Cheerilee’s so used to everything, she just can’t get off anymore.

Cheerilee: That, too, I suppose.

 “Go ahead then...mm, Fluttershy...don't be afraid to give it all you've got!”

twow: ♫Never gonna give you up...♫(smacked by Cheerilee) Why are you so MEAN?

Steel: ♫Never gonna let you down...♫(smacked by Cheerilee)

Cheerilee: Because you’re both delinquent students. I just can’t bring myself to taking you both to detention.

Fallen: (from TV) ...why not?

The hermaphrodite pegasus gripped Cheerilee's sides more firmly in response, before beginning to slowly buck her hips back and forth, starting off nice and slow at first, and gradually building up to a steady thrusting speed.

Fluttershy: Huh. I see the point.

twow: The hell are you talking about? You haven’t done this, have you?

Fluttershy: Of course not! I mean, not from lack of WANTING it done to me...

twow: What was that?

Fluttershy: Nothing.

 “Nnnh...M-Ms. Cheerilee...you feel so tight...” she moaned, loving the tightness of the teacher pony's love tunnel, which coated her member lightly with warm juices as time went on.

Cheerilee: Oh dear.

Steel: C’mon, you were on a roll!

“Only because..aah...you're so big, Fluttershy!” Cheerilee moaned in response, her cheeks blushing more as her pleasure built up more and more.

twow: A line that I would never want to hear again.

Fluttershy: Seconded.

Steel: More more moremoremore.

Cheerilee: He would’ve lost marks for that in my class.

Steel: He would’ve failed outright for writing this story.

Cheerilee: True...

She noticed Fluttershy's thrusts gradually becoming more rough, the pegasus putting more power behind each thrust as her own orgasm slowly built up; the warm precum mixing with her own juices, only helping to further lubricate the thrusting shaft.

twow: That thing is probably as slick as a wet banana.

Fluttershy: ...WHAT.

Steel: He’s not wrong.

Cheerilee: Doesn’t mean we want to hear it!

 “C'mon...really give it to me, dear...you want that A+, don't you?” she teased with a playful smirk.

Cheerilee: Considering how this story’s gone so far? Ugh... break, please!

twow: Good idea. Any objections?

Fluttershy: (quietly leans close to twow)

Steel: Not a one.

Fallen: (from TV) Having fun yet, Cheerilee?

Cheerilee: Sort of. I can see the appeal of this whole ‘riffing’ thing, but this wasn’t the right story for me to start on.

Steel: It’s an acquired taste. You do more, you enjoy it more.

Cheerilee: I suppose... but maybe the classroom is more my speed.

twow: Hell, my first story was about Fluttershy being raped and killed by ten-

Fluttershy: (shudders against twow)

twow: Ya know what? Never mind.

Cheerilee: ... Just what kind of monsters are you two?

Steel: The kind that were employed in the TWE when it was still running.

twow: In a sense, this is the little bit we can do to keep the memory of it alive. It’s not perfect, but it works.

Steel: That it does. Just old memories for us retired folks... but we keep the dream alive as long as we can.

Fallen: Hell, I’ve been doing this since before the TWE even existed.

Cheerilee: Hm... you’ll have to tell me about this ‘TWE’ later, Steel.

Steel: Heh. History from me? You’d be better off listening to one of the other old dogs. Anyway, that’s for after this. You doing alright, Miss Cheerilee?

Cheerilee: Well, I’ve toughened up. As long as I hide under the desk, it just comes to me. That Cheerilee isn’t me, though... so that makes things easier.

Steel: Exactly.

Fallen: Yeah, yeah, pussying out under a desk and all that fun stuff. But come on, there are other things happening here right now, and almost NO ONE’S saying a damn thing! Have none of you seriously noti-

*BUZZ*

Fallen: FUCK!

All: We’ve got story sign!

“Yes...!” Fluttershy panted, her wings flapping slightly

Steel: And catapulting her through the ceiling.

Cheerilee: 8 for the takeoff, but 2 for the stunt. It’s just going through the ceiling, after all!

 as she put even more into her thrusting, feeling her balls gently slapping against Cheerilee's legs now while her member throbbed happily within the hot, clenching depths.

twow: “We need to go deeper!”

Fluttershy: “And we forgot the flashlight!”

(twow grins at Fluttershy, and hugs her)

Steel: (Rolls his eyes)

 “Don't want to cum too fast, though...” she thought, biting her lower lip gently as she felt her orgasm closing in on her after roughly five minutes, that familiar pressure building up within her. “Uhm...Ms. Cheerilee, can we change positions...if that's okay with you?”

Fluttershy: Being on top is the way to go.

twow: Is there something that you’re not telling me?

Fluttershy: (blushing) No...

Steel: I just hope it’s not thatkind of position change.

“Go ahead, my dear.” Cheerilee replied with a nod, glancing back at Fluttershy as she felt the pegasus' hooves grab her more firmly, lifting her up a bit while at the same time Fluttershy leaned backwards.

twow: Falling over and cracking her head.

Fluttershy: (rubbing her head) Oww...

Steel: Splat!

Cheerilee: That’s a hospital visit for sure.

 She had intended to end up on her back, but forgot that the desk was right behind her, ending up bumping against it, leaving her sitting back against it with Cheerilee in her lap.

twow: “Now dance for me.”

Fluttershy: “I know the tango!”

Steel: ... That would REALLY frikkin’ hurt!

Cheerilee: Anything but the samba would be agonizing.

 “Lovely choice, Fluttershy.” she added, grinning down at Fluttershy, gently placing her hooves on Fluttershy's shoulders as she turned around to face her.

Fluttershy: She better not beg for a kiss.

twow: You have those on reserve, huh?

Fluttershy: W-what?

“Mmh, thank you...” Fluttershy groaned softly, having bumped the back of her head lightly against the wooden desk. Before she was quite ready to continue though, Cheerilee had already taken the incentive, and began to steadily ride Fluttershy's member, holding onto her shoulders for support.

twow: “You mess with the pegasus, you get the wings!”

Steel: ... Wait, what?

twow: Sorry. I kinda spaced there.

Cheerilee: The young man was right, though. She did hit her head.

“That's my star student, hehe...knowing my favorite position!” The maroon mare spoke between her light panting, feeling Fluttershy's hooves gently grasp her waist again, holding her by the cutie marks as the pegasus' hips started bucking upward slightly, only assisting Cheerilee's riding.

twow: She’s on her way to New Jersey.

Cheerilee: How’d she guess...?

Steel: You say something?

Cheerilee: Nothing!

 Fluttershy's member pushed all the way inside her each time she came down, causing it to grind firmly along Cheerilee's inner sweet spot each time, only driving her pleasure higher.

Fluttershy: It was as high as a kite.

twow: ♫Fly like an eagle...♫

Steel: Anyone noticing a pattern here?

Despite the position change and slight speed decrease, the lusty pegasus could still feel her orgasm coming on, her wings flapping slightly

Steel: And throwing them BOTH through the ceiling.

Cheerilee: That’s one terrible repair bill!

 as she kept lightly thrusting up against Cheerilee's bouncing, her throbbing member gushing pre inside. “Maybe she won't mind...if I cum a little early...”

Steel: I can only expect the worst from this comment.

twow: I know that WE won’t mind.

 she thought, panting in exhaustion and pleasure. “I'm...getting close...Ms. Cheerilee!”

“Oh, yes, Fluttershy dear! Let it all spill out inside your teacher!”

Cheerilee: “But you’re on after-class clean-up duty!”

Steel: You really aren’t coming out from down there, are you?

Cheerilee: Not a chance.

 Cheerilee moaned, grinning lustily down at Fluttershy as she kept riding steadily, picking up the pace a bit as she felt the thick member throbbing against her inner walls.

twow: Oh geez, hurry it up!

Steel: Get on with it!

Cheerilee: Yes, get on with it!

(A crowd suddenly appears behind Fallen)

Crowd: YES, GET ON WITH IT!!

Fallen: (from TV) ...Pinkie, I thought you weren’t letting people over until after.

Pinkie: (from TV) For the sake of that joke, it was worth it!

 Her own orgasm was closing in on her, indicated by the copious amounts of warm essence slicking up Fluttershy's member even more.

It wasn't long before Fluttershy's pleasure climaxed for a second time; a blissful moan escaping her lips as she squeezed Cheerilee's cutie marks firmly,

twow: How does that feel, pressure on your cutie marks?

Fluttershy: It kinda tickles.

twow: Hmm (pokes Fluttershy’s cutie mark)

Fluttershy: (jumps) H-hey!

Cheerilee: That’s invading a pony’s personal space, young man! Apologize!

Fluttershy: It’s okay Cheerilee.

Fallen: (from TV) Oh my GOD. No one else!?

 bucking her hips upward a bit harder while her member throbbed harder, shooting thick globs of her steamy essence with each throb.

Steel: ... The vocabulary here has completely fallen apart. Just, throughout this entire story.

 In the midst of her orgasm, she heard the teacher pony cry out happily as her orgasm hit as well, the sudden clenching of the tight inner walls only adding to Fluttershy's pleasure.

twow: And our pain.

Fluttershy: That’s been here for a while now.

Steel: Suits the character, if you ask me.

Cheerilee: How?

Steel: She’s into punishment. Pretty sure our agony just pushed her along.

After a few more moments, the two ponies' orgasms finally died down; Cheerilee collapsing gently on top of Fluttershy, panting heavily in exhaustion with her. “Mmm, Fluttershy...that was...beyond amazing...” she spoke between her panting, before grinning up at the pegasus. “Even better than Big Macintosh..hehe...A+ for you!”

twow: So she DOES sleep around!

Fluttershy: And according to that, so does Big Mac! I thought he was my coltfriend in this!

Cheerilee: ... Y-You two don’t th-think that about me, do you?

twow: Oh good god NO. I know you better than that.

Steel: Aye. How the hell could we think that about you? You aren’t a slut.

Cheerilee: ... You could’ve held back on the language.

Steel: Gets my point across. Buck up, Teach, you’re a very respectable mare.

 she teased, poking her tongue out a bit, Fluttershy blushing lightly before giggling softly.

“Thanks, Ms. Cheerilee.” the exhausted pegasus softly replied, gently hugging Cheerilee and nuzzling her snout gently. “I'm glad I could share the fun with you.”

twow: She also wants to live the dream. (smacked by Fallen)

Fluttershy: Ah! Fallen! How?!

Steel: Now how about sharing OUR PAIN?

Cheerilee: She’d die.

Steel: You say that as if I don’t want that to happen.

“Indeed, I wonder what Celestia was thinking when she gave this to you.” Cheerilee added, smiling a bit. “This seems like it'd make you have even more fun, not less!”

“That's what others have said.” Fluttershy nodded. “This has been a lot of fun so far. Sure, I have to cover it up with a dress when I'm in public, but the fun I've had with it more than makes up for it.” she continued, smiling cutely as well.

twow: Do I need to reiterate the fact about her doing everything cutely?

Fluttershy: I don’t really...

twow: You breathe cutely. You eat cutely. Hell, you EXIST cutely.

Fluttershy: Y-you really mean that?

twow: (blushing and mumbling) Well...yeah...

Fluttershy: (also blushing) O-oh...

Fallen: (from TV) ...do we need fucking SIRENS?

Steel: No. I’m just enjoying watching you break down, Fallen.

Cheerilee: I have to admit, it’s quite fun!

Fallen: IT’S RIGHT THERE!

Steel: Yes it is.

Cheerilee: Mmhmm.

twow: What ARE they talking about?

Fallen: ...YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER.

twow: At least I’m not as dense as Rainbow Dash. (Clocked in the face by a cloud carrying a brick)

“Others? Oh, you sly pony, you!” Cheerilee smirked as she gently pulled herself up, sliding Fluttershy's softening member out of her moist pink lips. “You mean you've played with other ponies like this too? I didn't take you for such a horny pony, Fluttershy.” she teased, giggling softly.

Fallen: (from TV) It’s almost as if this is... UNLIKE HER.

Steel: My God...

Cheerilee: Holy Celestia...

Crowd: (Massive gasp)

twow: No way...

Fluttershy: It’s a newsflash!

Steel: STOP EVERYTHING.

Fluttershy blushed and giggled softly as well, a bit embarrassed by the complement. “Well, not always...it's just, I wanted to test it out, you know? I never thought that it would feel this good.” she continued with a grin.

twow: Did she just FORGET about the last three times?

Fluttershy: The sex is draining my memory.

Steel: It’s draining a fuck of a lot more than just that.

Cheerilee: ... CAN that kind of thing induce brain damage?

Steel: Doubt it.

“Mmhm, I understand.” Cheerilee nodded, gently pecking the pegasus' cheek as she pulled herself up, Fluttershy's now fully soft member slipping out of her nether lips. “That was the most fun I've ever had during a detention...certainly a nice way to end a rather boring Monday.”

Cheerilee: Stop insulting me!

Steel: Hang on, Teach. Almost over.

“Hehe, yeah...” the tired pegasus nodded softly as well, sighing contently as she slowly got up again, seeing Cheerilee over at the sink in the corner, cleaning herself up a bit. “So...is my detention over, Ms. Cheerilee?”

Cheerilee: “Of course not, silly mare!”

Steel: “It’s only JUST BEGUN.” And hey, you’re out from under the desk!

Cheerilee: Don’t expect this to happen a lot.

“Yes, that will be all, Fluttershy.” Cheerilee nodded as she wiped her front hooves dry. “Unless you want even MORE extra credit.” she teased with a wink.

Steel: I can only expect Cheerilee to pop up more often in this story.

Cheerilee: I’m not doing this story anymore, even if that did happen.

Steel: Amen, Teach.

“Oh...I would, but I'm a little tired.” Fluttershy answered, blushing a bit and smiling slightly. “I do want to play with this as much as I can, but I don't want to make myself sore and tired.”

“If you say so, dear.” the teacher giggled softly, stepping up to Fluttershy and gently nuzzling her cheek. “You're always free to come back for some more fun, though.” she added with a soft smile.

twow: “The first one was free.” (smacked by Cheerilee)

Cheerilee: ... Just don’t say that.

“Thank you...I'll try to come back some time if I have a free afternoon.” Fluttershy smiled and nodded, gently nuzzling Cheerilee's cheek in return, before grabbing her dress and heading toward the door, starting to put her dress back on; Cheerilee moving back over toward the desk and sitting at it again. “See you later, Ms. Cheerilee!”

Steel: ‘Later’ meaning ‘one chapter from now.’

Fluttershy: Oh, I hope not.

“See you soon, dear!” Cheerilee replied cheerily as she watched the pegasus leave, sitting back in her chair and sighing happily. “It's always the quiet ones that are the best...” she thought to herself with a soft giggle.

Steel: And it’s always the nerds that’re the weird ones.

twow: True dat.

Fluttershy: Word.

Cheerilee: (Pops up in bling and a baseball cap) Um... “Truth, dawg.”

Steel: ...

Cheerilee: I’m so sorry.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy took off into the air toward her home, smiling a bit to herself. “Hehe...that was so much fun...this is definitely going to be a great week.” she thought, not noticing that Rainbow Dash had come up behind her halfway to her house, surprising her a bit.

twow: Jumpscare! Hit the dirt! (faceplants)

Fluttershy: Are you okay?!

Steel: Ask the concrete that! Jesus Christ, there’s cracks everywhere!

 “Oh...hey Rainbow Dash.” she spoke softly, glancing back at the rainbow-maned pegasus.

Steel: “My sworn enemy...”

“Heh, 'sup Fluttershy? Where were ya? You look like you just had a lot of fun.” Rainbow Dash teased with a playful grin, causing Fluttershy to blush a bit, assuming Rainbow Dash was talking about that certain kind of “fun”.

Fluttershy: I don’t think Rainbow would just ask me that out of the blue.

Steel: She’s the most insightful out of EVERYONE in this story.

“Oh, um...nothing really. I just delivered a book to Cheerilee and talked with her a bit.” Fluttershy lied, smiling a bit in return.

“Ahh, yeah...Cheerilee? Didn't know you two were friends.” Rainbow Dash giggled softly, a bit curious as to why Fluttershy was blushing though.

twow: It was hot outside?

Fluttershy: You can’t catch on?

Steel: She had a terrible fever from a horrific disease that was going to render her a rotting corpse in three hours.

 She swore she could smell sex on the yellow pegasus, but dismissed the idea, not really thinking those two ponies would get intimate like that. “Hm...still wearing that dress, too...just what's going on here?” she thought, a bit skeptical of Fluttershy's actions. “Fluttershy, are you alright?”

Steel: “Better than you could ever realize.”

Cheerilee: UGH.

“Hm?” Fluttershy glanced up at Dash again, blinking a couple times. “I feel fine...why do you ask?”

“Well I've been noticing you acting a little strange lately...and wearing dresses everywhere all of a sudden.” Rainbow Dash answered, giving a skeptical look. “Is there something going on that you're not telling me?”

Fluttershy: “I just was cursed by the princess to have a penis and I’ve been having sex with everypony we know.”

twow: “So, not much.”

Fallen: (from TV) Fillies and gentlecolts... anti-Winning Dash.

Rainbow (in the crowd): SEE!? SEE!? I’M NOT THAT DAMN DENSE!!!

Fallen: Oh, hey, Rainbow!

Rainbow: (Waves)

The yellow pegasus' cheeks blushed lightly again as she gulped softly, shaking her head. “Nothing...honest, I'm fine. I just took a liking to wearing dresses recently.” she lied, trying her best to smile inconspicuously.

twow: She’s as bad of a liar as AJ. (hit by horseshoe)

Fluttershy: Um...

Steel: Well. That’s new.

“Are you sure...?” Dash persisted, narrowing her eyes a bit and crossing her arms. Fluttershy only smiled a bit wider, nodding in reply, sweating lightly from nervousness. “Eh...don't want to cause her another panic attack like last week.” she thought, deciding against pressing her friend further.

Fluttershy: I don’t get those as much. At least when I’m around loved ones.

twow: So that’s why you’re here all the time.

Fluttershy: Come again?

twow: Nothing.

Steel: (Grumbles about Fluttershy always leaving as he arrives in town)

“Whatever. See ya later.” she added, seeing that she was right over Fluttershy's house now, looping around and heading in the opposite direction, leaving the yellow pegasus alone.

Steel: Sharpest eye in the west, AND she knows when to back off. My God, she really IS the anti-Winningverse Dash!

twow: (slowclaps)

“Whew...that was close.” Fluttershy sighed, wiping her brow a bit as she slowly descended to the ground, landing in front of her house, looking back over her shoulder to see that Dash was gone. She didn't really want to keep hiding it from Rainbow Dash, but she had to pick an adequate time to show her.

twow: And you didn’t do it then, why....

Steel: She’s getting braver. Doesn’t mean she’s gonna flash everyone in the street.

 She kept glancing out into the distance for a couple more moments before turning and heading inside her house.

Steel: She could... FEEL someone watching her...

“But...how do I tell her?” she thought as she laid on her bed after her nightly routine of feeding her animals and cleaning herself up. “I don't want to come off as a pervert.” she continued, staring up at the ceiling.

twow: I don’t think, “Hey Rainbow. I was cursed by the princess to have a dick.” is gonna make you a pervert.

Fluttershy: She might want in.

twow: O_O

Steel: ... Damn.

 She recalled the strange dream she had the previous night, wondering if it meant anything, but just shaking her head a bit and slipping under the blankets. “I'll tell her when the time is right...” she thought with a yawn, resting her head on the soft pillow behind her.

Steel: Which, knowing this story, is tomorrow. And you’ll tell her by just showing the damn thing off.

twow: About time too.

END CH.4

twow: Finally. Let’s get the hell out of here.

Steel/Cheerilee: Finally!

Fallen: (from TV) Alright! How’d we do?

Steel: Surprisingly well.

Cheerilee: I’m just glad it’s over... can I go home now?

Fallen: Huh. Normally ponies would want a moment to recuperate, but if you’re up for it, I can let you out now.

Cheerilee: Yes, just let me out!

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

twow: Alright you two. Thanks a bunch. Go and relax.

(Steel calmly gets up, retrieving his work while Cheerilee races out of the lab like the devil was chasing her)

Cheerilee: YeahnoproblemgottagoBYE!

Steel: I’ll see you around, man. (Turns and walks away, mumbling about why Cheerilee was blushing, as well as a few arithmetic problems that he just can’t solve.) Bleh... should get Twilight to help me again...

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

twow: You holding up okay, Flutters?

Fluttershy: (leaning up against twow) Yeah, just wanna relax for a minute...

twow: Nothing wrong with that.

Fallen: ...Pinkie, can you cut the feed for a second? We need to talk in private.

Fallen: ...you see it too, right? TELL ME YOU’RE SEEING THIS.

Pinkie: Oh, totally!

Fallen: I mean, with all the comforting, and they’re getting more physical...

Pinkie: I know! It’s so obvious!

Fallen: How badly do we fuck it over for them?

Pinkie: WHAT?

Fallen: Come on. We want him to suffer, right? Why not drive a big old wedge between them?

Pinkie: I can’t do that to Fluttershy! I really want her to be happy!

Fallen: Well, a good Fluttershy is a happy Fluttershy... but does it really outweigh twow’s pain?

Pinkie: In this case? Of COURSE it does!

Fallen: Not seeing it.

Pinkie: PLEASE, Primey. It would mean a lot to her if we helped out, even if she doesn’t see it yet. Just do it for her?

Fallen: ...you’re not gonna give me another choice, are you.

Pinkie: Priiiimeeeeeeeeey... (pouts)

Fallen: FINE. GODDAMMIT. But only because Fluttershy’s my friend.

Pinkie: Isn’t T your friend too?

Fallen: Completely different. It’s mostly built on mutual torture.

Pinkie: ...yeah, that IS kinda weird.

Fallen: Anyway. What are you planning to do?

Pinkie: Weeeeeeeellllllllllllll...

Pinkie: (from TV) We’re back! Sorry about that!

twow: The hell was that all about?

Fallen: (from TV) Nothing that won’t be obvious to you soon enough. Hey, since you two are on break, I figured you ought to just chill out, sit back and watch a few good movies. I know that’s what helped Rarity and I keep our sanity throughout “Rarity’s Generous Plan.”

Fluttershy: I don’t see why no-

twow: Hold up. Fallen being nice? No. What’s really going on?

Fallen: What, I’m not allowed?

twow: It’s just very, very rare.

Fluttershy: Come on twow. Let’s just relax for a bit, okay?

twow: Alright...Where’s my sonic screwdriver...(starts rifling through drawers)

Fluttershy: Fallen, what kind of movies where you talking about?

Fallen: Oh... just movies. Might be a bit of a theme, but I think you’ll catch onto it in time. And I know just which one I want to send over, and I know someone who has said movie.

Fluttershy: Who?

Fallen: Oh, you know her.

Fluttershy: One of my friends from Ponyville?

twow: (moves away from Fluttershy to search a cabinet) Damn it Fallen, just tell us!

Nocturnal Melodies: (from TV) What on... oh, hey guys.

twow: (leaping up) Finally found the damn thing...oh! Hey Nocturnal!

Fallen: You brought it over with you like I asked?

No_M: Hi twow! And of course I brought it.

Pinkie: YAY! Now we can do this thing right!

Fluttershy: As nice as it is to see you Nocturnal, what is going on?

twow: Seriously, it’s like you’re having a fucking spy meeting or somthing.

Fallen: Well, since I’m entirely positive that this is the one thing that’ll make you stop being too shy and stupid to see what’s right in front of you, I’ll let it just happen. No_M, let ‘em know what they’re in for as an appetizer.

No_M: Well, what we have here is one of my favorite films of all time. The Princess Bride.

twow: Hey, that movie is kickass!

Fallen: Sure is. It helped Rarity not kill me when I made her watch Transformers: Dark of the Moon,which I STILL don’t understand why she didn’t like!

No_M: To be fair Fallen, it wasn’t that great a movie.

Fallen: Oh, SHUT UP.

Fluttershy: What is it about?

Fallen: At its heart, it’s a tale of a princess and a farmboy finding love. But then you’ve got murder conspiracies, side adventures, revenge plots, some surprisingly witty humor... Rarity ADORED it, and Fluttershy, I know you will too.

Fluttershy: It does sound like something that I’d like. (leans into twow’s side) Shall we?

twow: I got nothing, but I’m rather excited for this as well. (shifts body to give Fluttershy a more comfortable position)

No_M: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeell, for as short as my fun little visit was, I really do need to be going. I have some sleep to catch up on before I turn into a raving madman.

Fallen: Because you aren’t already...

No_M: What was that Prime? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me chewing on your arm.

Fallen: I’m sure you feel accomplished. twow, Fluttershy, you just rest easy and enjoy your little movie until the next chapter. And who knows, you might learn a thing or two about yourselves and each other in the process.

Fluttershy: Should we question...

twow: Nah. Let’s just enjoy this.

*BUZZ*

twow and Fluttershy: We’ve got break sign!

Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, Chapter 5

Welp, we’re back here again. And for once I’m not completely dreading it. Or maybe I am. Whatever.

Today we’re heading into chapter five of Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long. And this chapter I think a certain friend of mine is going to enjoy a LOT. Am I right, Fallen?

(I’m going to strangle you. In the face. With your face.)

I wish you no luck.

But yeah. This chapter has not only Pinkie Pie, but Vinyl Scratch as well.

(I threw this story twow’s way since Fluttershy’s his favorite, but he’s forcing me to do this chapter with him because Pinkie and Vinyl are MY favorites.)

And the fact that I’ll be suffering through the rest of this myself, so I decided to make Fallen feel a LITTLE bit of pain.

(Because apparently letting Steel suffer with you wasn’t enough.)

Let’s get started, shall we? Chapter five of Fluttershy’s Week-Long Foot-Long, right here.

[And let’s get drunk while we do it!]

(Shut up, Draklox.)

Fluttershy: You know, Nocturnal wasn’t joking about that being a great movie!

twow: I TOLD you so. Hell, I remember the first time I saw that. I had thought it was going to be stupid.

Fluttershy: And...?

twow:         I felt the exact opposite. Damn, that was a good day.

Fluttershy: Yeah...(leaning closer to twow)

twow: Wonder why they picked that specific movie though.

Fallen Prime: YOU... DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS.

twow: How in the fuck did you get in here?!

Pinkie Pie: I let them in! Someone else is running this chapter!

Draklox:   “Welcome to my parlor,” said the spider to the fly.

Fluttershy: (squeezing twow) I’m not scared anymore. I think.

twow: Well, that was an interesting series of events.

Rarity:  (from TV) I see everyone’s here. Would you do the honors Drak?

Pinkie: Not everyone’s here, though! I still have another guest we’re waiting on!

Rarity:  Fine, we will wait.

Draklox:  So my dear, what’s on the menu today?

Fallen: STOP. First of all, Pinkie, why the fuck are you letting this drunken asshole near your equipment?

Draklox:  She didn’t, me and Rarity decided to get a little payback for her suffering. I’m just along because I’m immune to everything.

Fluttershy: If I stay still, they won’t notice me.

Fallen: Second of all, Drak, why did you call Rarity “my dear?” Am I gonna have to deal with ANOTHER couple?

twow: Another? Who’s the first one?

Draklox:  That’s for us to know, and you to wrack your brain trying to figure out.

Fallen: I need to keep my friends away from other humans... and third of all, who’s supposed to be our other guest?

Pinkie: Oh, you know her!

Fallen: I bet I do, but that’s not an answer.

twow: Something tells me that it’s gonna end up with something getting broken.

(As if on cue, the lab doors are incinerated by a blast of pure dubstep.)

Fallen: Oh, FUCK ME.

Vinyl Scratch: I don’t do humans, so you’re shit outta luck.

Fallen: In light of recent events, I’m almost relieved to hear that.

Draklox:  Anyway, I think Fallen has his eyes on a different mare.

Fallen: ...I have a girlfriend, and she’s not a mare. You KNOW her.

Draklox:  I know a lot, I’m just not sharing it yet.

twow: Damn it Vinyl! I’m going to quit making you those if you keep blowing my fucking doors off!

Rarity:  (Sips her glass of wine) There she is. Do it Drak.

Draklox:  Your wish is my command.

(The lab doors slam shut and lock.)

Fallen: HOW DO DOORS KEEP DOING THAT FROM THE FLOOR!?

Fluttershy: Oh, twow creating restoring doors.

twow: Vinyl, do NOT. TOUCH. ANYTHING.

Vinyl: Why not?

twow: Because a lot of things in here could horribly injure you, me, or the universe as we know it.

Vinyl: Ponies say that about a lot of things. What’s going on in here, anyway?

Fallen: “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long.” I guess the Pinkie/Vinyl chapter.

Pinkie: Isn’t this so exciting?

Fallen: NO.

Rarity:  And now its time for chapter five, and I’m sure it will be torturous on some of you.

Fluttershy: (latching onto twow’s arm) As long as it isn’t as bad as last time...

Draklox:  (Sips his rum and coke) Let’s do this, dear.

Rarity:  Yes, let’s.

Fallen: ...I’m gonna just assume this is an alternate Rarity with no ties to me. I get enough of that with Atlas...

Rarity:  Assume what you like.

twow: Joy. Here we go guys.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

All characters © Hasbro

twow: Damn it. I thought they were owned by Toshiba.

Contains: Futashy. (Fluttershy with a dick, if you didn't know.) If you don't want to read about Fluttershy with a dick, close the page now.

Vinyl: Kinky.

Fluttershy: You’ve never read this, have you?

Vinyl: Not a word.

After another peaceful night of rest, Fluttershy awoke once more to the sound of the rooster's call,

Fallen: Because Fluttershy’s can’t be the only cock in the story.

blinking her eyes open slowly and glancing up at the ceiling.

twow: “Alright, who are we fucking today...”

 “Mm, that was a good rest...” she thought with a yawn, slowly sitting up in her bed and rubbing her eyes softly, before glancing down at the comforter. She blinked a couple times in surprise, expecting a large tent like usual,

Pinkie: But somepony came up in the middle of the night and stole it! Now she’s just sleeping out in the woods without a tent!

twow: ♫Singing in the rain...♫

Fallen: Don’t you even start.

twow: This be my lab. I do what I want.

but she could only see the shape of her lower body.

Fluttershy: Wait, is it gone?

twow: (shrugs)

Draklox:  (From TV) Maybe Sweetie Belle stole it?

Quickly pulling the blanket off, she sighed softly in relief as she saw the familiar sheath and balls between her legs, having feared that the magic might have worn off or something.

Fluttershy: (visibly upset) I had hope for a moment there...

twow: (hugging Fluttershy)

“Hehe...never thought I'd be relieved at something like that.” she thought with a giggle,

Fallen: It’s like Stockholm for genitals.

twow: Ew.

getting out of bed and stretching lightly, before setting off to her usual morning routine of feeding her animals.

Vinyl: Feeding them what? With what?

twow: Bacon bits.

Fluttershy: TWOW!

As she went through the kitchen to gather the various feeds for the indoor animals, she noticed that she was running low on food for herself.

twow: She was too busy filling up other ponies. AM I RIGHT?! (smacked by everyone but Fluttershy)

Rarity:  (from TV) I feel no sorrow for Story Fluttershy. She did call me loose, after all.

“Uhm...oh! Right, Tuesday.” she thought, remembering what day it was; the day she usually went grocery shopping.

Pinkie: She needed to stock up on Twinkies! She LOVES the cream filling!

twow: ...Pinkie Pie...

Fluttershy: (blushing)

Draklox:  I think Pinkie’s after someone else’s cream filling.

Fallen: You two are doing an awful lot more riffing than I ever did from the other side.

Rarity:  I don’t think his comment was aimed at the story.

Fallen: ...I hate both of you.

Draklox:  We love you too, Fallen.

“I'll just make a list and head out to the market, then.” she thought with a smile, before going to feed the indoor animals. Once she was finished, she went through the kitchen and took note of everything that was either low or empty, writing it all down on a small notepad.

twow: “Alright, there’s all the ponies that need to die...”

Fluttershy: “First Ponyville, and then, Equestria!”

“Let's see...” Fluttershy thought as she closed the last cabinet, glancing over the list. “Skim milk, sunflower seeds, sugar, and celery.” she thought out loud, nodding lightly.

twow: I’m surprised she didn’t do that cutely.

Fluttershy: I could do that...if you want.

twow: You don’t hav-

Fluttershy: (nodding)

twow: HGN.

 Once more she picked out a dress to wear to cover herself up, this time making sure to wear something that only covered her lower body, so that she could easily wear her saddlebags.

twow: And then she had a boner, and the disguise failed.

Vinyl: When do we get to the sex? This is BORING.

Hoisting on the light-green saddlebags, she placed the list in the left pocket and carefully closed it before leaving her home and taking off toward the market. She could get most of what she needed there, but she knew that there were no ponies there that sold sugar, so she would have to get that elsewhere.

Pinkie: Oh, I know ONE place she could get it...

Fallen: I’m resisting the urge to make a joke about drinking it straight from the tap.

Rarity:  I know of a very close source, Pinkie.

After a short flight, she arrived at the Ponyville marketplace, which was already bustling with activity. “Alright, first thing on the list...”

twow: “Some Viagra...”

Fluttershy: For me, or you?

twow: What the hell are you even saying?

Fluttershy: (smiles at twow)

Fallen: Fluttershy, do NOT start putting that imagery in my head.

 she thought, glancing over toward the various vendors set up along the border of the area. She took her time with her shopping, chatting with a couple of the townsfolk as she went, gathering all of the groceries that she had come out there for.

twow: I’m just glad that didn’t get detailed.

After roughly 45 minutes, she exited the marketplace, having everything on her list, except for sugar. She preferred to get it at Sugarcube Corner, as Pinkie would usually give her a “Super Duper Bestest Friend Forever” discount.

twow: Anyway I can get one of those Pinkie?

Pinkie: Sure, T! All you had to do was ask!

 Snapping her saddlebag shut, she took off into the air again, this time heading over toward her friend's bakery.

Pinkie: Technically Mr. and Mrs. Cake own it, so...

Vinyl: BOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIING.

Fallen: Why did you think dragging her along was such a bright idea?

“Pinkie?” Fluttershy called out quietly as she walked in the front door, hearing the bell above the door ring as the door opened. She didn't see or hear anything in the front room as she walked up to the counter, glancing around for any signs of her friend.

twow: She heard the sounds of moaning.

Fluttershy: Did it sound anything like th-

twow: If you care about me, you WON’T DO THAT.

“Hello? Is anypony here?” she called out, reaching her hoof out and tapping the bell on the counter a couple times.

Almost immediately after the sound of the ringing, the familiar pink party pony sprang up from behind the counter in an explosion of confetti and smoke.

twow: “AHHH!”

Pinkie: Ooh, there’s a cool idea! I should do that next time!

 “Here I am!” she shouted; all of this surprise greatly startling the timid pegasus, causing her to nearly jump through the ceiling. “Hehe, gotcha didn't I?” she giggled, smiling up at Fluttershy, who had fallen back on her rear, breathing heavily with a wide-eyed expression of surprise.

Vinyl: I can’t even be bothered with this. Nothing’s being interesting right now.

“Y-Yes...you did!” Fluttershy replied, a bit annoyed at the pink mare's antics, but she knew it was all in good humor. “Um...I was just wondering if you had any sugar I could buy?” she asked as she stood back up again, her wings folding back against her sides.

Fluttershy: “And some...personal items.”

twow: Fluttershy, I think that movie did something to you. Thanks a bunch Fallen.

Rarity:  I think you and Fluttershy make a very cute couple.

(twow and Fluttershy start blushing profusely.)

Draklox:  Aww, it’s cute they don’t see what’s blatantly obvious to a blind monkey.

Fallen: Was that a crack at the glasses? Because I will end you.

Draklox:  And it’s cute that Fallen thinks he can hurt me.

twow: Hey look. Story!

“Oh, yeah, right here!” Pinkie nodded a few times, before reaching underneath the counter and pulling up a sack of sugar, putting it down on top of the counter. “And with your Super-Duper-Bestest-Friends-Forever discount, that'll be three bits!

twow: That IS quite the discount. What does it normally cost, Pinkie?

” she added with a smile, which turned to a look of confusion after a few seconds. “Huh...?” she thought out loud, wiping her hoof across her forehead and glancing down at it.

Fluttershy: It was blood.

twow: “What’s with all the BLOOOOOD?!”

“What's wrong?” Fluttershy asked as she placed the three coins on the counter and hoisted the sugar bag into her saddlebag, before looking up at Pinkie. “Are you alright?”

Vinyl: She’s in this story, so I’m gonna say no.

“Hm...my forehead is slick...but that...”

Pinkie: Silly story! A slick forehead doesn’t mean my friend grew a penis! It just means we’re running low on flour!

twow: What’s the signal for two ponies that are attracted to each other?

Draklox:  An erection?

Rarity:  (Brains Draklox) Will you just shut up?

she thought out loud again, looking back at Fluttershy. “Huh. Must be a fluke. Oh well, enjoy your sugar Fluttershy!” she added, quickly returning to her cheery attitude and smiling wide. “Don't use it all on one cake!”

twow: “Just spread it on cupcakes. Much better useage.”

Fluttershy shrugged a bit in her mind, smiling softly back as she grabbed the sack and put it in her saddlebag. “See you later, Pinkie”. She added before turning to leave, almost out the door before she heard Pinkie call to her again.

Pinkie: “Is that a candy cane stuffed beneath that saddlebag, or are you just happy to-” (smacked by Fluttershy)

“Wait wait wait, Fluttershy, I almost forgot!” Pinkie called, waving her arms a bit,

twow: ♫Wave your arms in the air, if you feel right!♫

Fluttershy: (whistles)

Fluttershy turning her head to face the counter again. “There was this really important thing I wanted to ask you!”

twow: “It involves your dick that I totally do not know you have!” (hit in the face with a pie)

“Yes, Pinkie?” Fluttershy asked, turning around and walking back up to the counter again as Pinkie began to speak.

“Well, it all started when I was walking through the town square, and I saw these two colts walking by carrying this really big radio with really loud music playing! I asked them what it was and they told me it was some of Vinyl Scratch's music,

Vinyl: Wait, what? I’m involved now?

Draklox:  No, but I think Pinkie and Fallen are.

Fallen: Just because you’re laying that on thick doesn’t mean you’re any closer to right.

Rarity:  Really now?

Fallen: Yes.

Draklox:  You both hang out a lot, you both love pranking your friends, and you both have an affinity for bad fics. I’d call that a match made in hell.

twow: D’awwwww....(smacked by Fallen and Pinkie)

Rarity:  I’m surprised no one else saw it sooner.

and I was like “I KNOW HER!” and they were like-”

twow: “RUN! RUN AWAY!!!” (bass cannoned by Vinyl)

"Um, Pinkie..." Fluttershy interrupted, Pinkie's chatter coming to a halt as she glanced back down at the pegasus. "Could you please ask me what you wanted to ask? That is, if you're okay with cutting off the story there."

Fluttershy: “And if you don’t, I’m going to take you into the back room and-”

twow: OKAY FLUTTERSHY STOP NOW.

"Oh yeah, sorry. It was just such a cool story!" Pinkie giggled. "But what I wanted to ask, is if you wanted to come to the big rave tonight at the convention center?" she asked, still smiling cheerily. "If there's anypony in this town that needs to go to a big fun rave, it's you! And what better time to bring you than when the best DJ ever is going to be playing there?"

Fallen: ...Knife Party? Daft Punk? Pegboard Nerds?

Vinyl: You’re joking, right?

Draklox:  Pinkie needs the to feel the beat. Fallen, you wanna help her?

Fallen: What does that even have to do with anything!? At least your last few innuendos had loose context with what people were saying!

Draklox:  I’m too drunk to be subtle.

Rarity:  She has a need that only you can fill, Fallen.

Pinkie: What are you even talking about?

Draklox:  (Mixing another drink) You already know, you pink demon.

Fallen: ...

Rarity:  (Sipping her wine) Let’s see where this goes.

Draklox:  Straight to the perverted.

Fluttershy gulped softly, glancing down at the ground for a moment. "Oh, I don't know Pinkie...I've heard those things are really loud and wild..."

"Come oooon, it'll be fun! You need to get out and try somethin' new every once in a while!" The pink mare insisted, suddenly appearing beside Fluttershy, draping her right front leg over Fluttershy's shoulders. "And it's Vinyl Scratch, there's no other DJ like her!"

Vinyl: Yep. I hear ya. Hold your applause.

Fallen: ...you didn’t DO anything.

Draklox:  Or anyone. (Drinks some more)

twow: Yet.

“Does it have to be me? Surely somepony else would want to go...” Fluttershy tried to reason, but Pinkie giggled and shook her head.

Pinkie: “Sorry, Fluttershy, but the plot won’t let me pick anypony else!”

“Nope, I want you to be out there havin' some fun for once, Fluttershy! And besides, I'll be needing a little pegassistance setting up some of the decorations before the show.”

twow: That CAN’T be a word.

“If you say so...” Fluttershy smiled meekly and nodded, not wanting to argue further with her friend. “What time do you need me to be there?”

Vinyl: If I’m not there, she’s too early.

Fallen: ...why?

Vinyl: ‘Cuz the party don’t start ‘til I- (smacked by Fallen)

“Around seven, the show starts at eight. Make sure to come hungry too, because there's gonna be a lot of tasty treats!”

Fluttershy: Just not the treats that we’re thinking about.

Pinkie added, smiling and hopping up and down eagerly, moving back behind the counter again. “See you there, Fluttershy!”

Vinyl: “ALL of you.”

Pinkie: SCRATCHIE!

Rarity:  What’s wrong, is there someone else you want to see all of Pinkie? (winks at Fallen)

Fluttershy smiled and nodded in return, before turning and heading toward the door, swiftly exiting the building. Once she left though, Pinkie rubbed her forehead again, finding it to be dry, now that Fluttershy had left.

twow: “Damn, she was hot!” (smacked by Fallen)

 “Huh, that's strange. Is it really Fluttershy?” she thought with a puzzled look. “I need to get this Pinkie Sense fixed...”

Fallen: Because fixing your Pinkie sense is something you can just... DO.

twow: Bet I could do it.

Pinkie: IIIIIII think I’d be happier if you didn’t try.

After a short flight back to her home, Fluttershy unpacked the groceries she bought, storing them all in their usual places in the kitchen. “A rave...I hope it isn't too loud...”

Vinyl: Fluttershy, have you been to a single rave in your entire life?

Fluttershy: No, I can’t say that I have.

she thought, glancing up at the wall clock, seeing that it was still early in the afternoon. “Well...I still have a while before I have to go...a nice quiet afternoon before a noisy night sounds good.” she thought with a smile, before preparing a cup of tea for herself.

twow: “Would you like a pot of tea!”

Just as she dripped the teabag into the cup though,

Vinyl: Oh, you’re just handing these out now, aren’t you, story?

twow: Like condoms in high school.

her ears perked up as she heard a knocking at the front door. “Coming!”

Fallen: Well. That was fast.

she called out as she walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Twilight on her doorstep, carrying a couple saddlebags. “Oh, hello Twilight.” she said with a smile, stepping back to allow the unicorn inside.

Vinyl: I thought FLUTTERSHY was the one with the equipment. Unless Twi’s using that horn of hers...

Fluttershy: OW!

“Good afternoon Fluttershy, how are you doing?” Twilight replied with a matching smile, closing the door behind her as she entered. “I just came by to see how you were doing, you know what I mean.” she added with a slight giggle.

twow: It’s not like the story’s given us a chance to forget.

“I'm doing great, thank you!” Fluttershy nodded, heading back into the kitchen with Twilight, grabbing the teabag and pulling it out of her cup of tea.

Pinkie: “Why does this tea taste like sweat and sex?”

Fluttershy: “I was a little busy last night.”

“Wearing dresses all the time isn't that bad, I actually kinda like it.” she added with a smile. “I can see why Rarity prefers wearing dresses so much.”

twow: Does she have a dick too?! (smacked by Rarity)

Rarity:  I assure you, I do not. Just ask Draklox.

Draklox:  I plead the fifth. And I drink the fifth. (Takes a drink)

Fallen: Drak, if you touched a single hair on her body...

Draklox:  I’m safe, she didn’t have any hair where I touched her.

Rarity:  And I wasn’t an unwilling participant, either.

Pinkie: (spit take)

Fluttershy: Could we just move on now?

“Glad to hear it.” the purple unicorn nodded and smiled, before opening up one of her saddlebags. “I also came over to ask you if you wanted to try a new spell I worked on.” she added, pulling out a spellbook from the bag.

Fallen: We SAW what happened the first time Twilight created a new spell.

“Oh? What did you find?” Fluttershy asked, glancing over toward Twilight again as she held her teacup between her hooves, lightly sipping from it.

“Well, I experimented a bit with different spells, and ended up merging two of them together.”

Fluttershy: “Many lives were lost.”

Twilight started, flipping through the pages of the book. “The spell I created will cause a single part of your body to be invisible.”

Pinkie: “And I know for a fact that it works! You can’t see the growth on my back, can you?”

she continued with a slight smile. “So you won't have to wear that dress around all the time.”

The pegasus blushed lightly before smiling back and nodding. “That's just what I need, Twilight. Pinkie invited me to a rave later tonight, and I don't think I want to wear a dress there."

twow: Well, you COULD...

Vinyl: You do NOT go to a rave in formal clothing and expect to leave with it intact. If you even leave with it ON.

twow: Sounds fun to me.

 she added with a soft giggle, before sipping from her teacup again. “Are you sure it's going to work?”

“Hehe, I tested it on Spike, it should work fine.”

Pinkie: “He’ll NEVER find his tail now!”

Twilight giggled softly, finally stopping at one of the pages in the book.

Fallen: Wait, I thought she MADE the spell. Why is she going through a book?

twow: Because of the logic.

Pinkie: Aww, but logic isn’t fun!

“It will only take a moment, let me help you out a bit.” she added, her horn glowing a little brighter as her magic aura surrounded Fluttershy's dress now as well, lightly tugging it down and sliding it off the pegasus' lower body; Fluttershy moving her legs as it slipped off of her.

twow: Kinky. (tackled by Fluttershy)

As her dress came off, Fluttershy set her teacup down on the counter again, before sitting back against the cupboard, spreading her legs to allow access to her member. “Whenever you're ready...” she softly spoke, watching as Twilight's horn started glowing softly, before she felt a tingling in her groin, blushing a bit more and glancing down to see the unicorn's magic aura surrounding her sheath.

Fallen: She came instantly.

"I'll have to fully expose it for the spell to work." Twilight explained, blushing lightly herself as she used her magic to massage her friend's sheath, Fluttershy nodding softly as she continued to lean back against the cupboard, rather enjoying the soft magical massage.

twow: Ech.

Fluttershy: I know right! Hey, you know how to massage?

twow: ...maybe.

In just a few moments, her member peeked out of the sheath and slowly began to harden from all of the teasing; Twilight's magic aura extending to engulf the growing member.

"Th-thank you, Twilight..." Fluttershy spoke, trying to break any feelings of embarrassment between them.

Fallen: You’ve slept with this mare, then slept with four other ponies. Why would you need to feel embarrassed?

Vinyl: I know, right?

Fallen: ...I was being sarcastic.

Vinyl: You were?

twow: (facepalm)

“You're a real lifesaver sometimes...” she added while her body relaxed slightly from the soft pleasure of Twilight's magic; her member stiffening more and more against the magic aura.

"Any time, Fluttershy." Twilight smiled, nodding as she continued to work her magic on the pegasus' member.

twow: Oh mai.

 "I'm sure you don't want it invisible for the rest of the week though, so just come see me afterwards, and I'll remove the spell." she added, glancing down at Fluttershy's cock again, seeing it was nearly fully erect already.

Pinkie: “Or, you know, I could just NOT cast this. I could just... look at it...”

twow: “It’s so beautiful.”

Fluttershy: O_O

"Yeah, I still want to use it before Saturday." Fluttershy poked her tongue out a bit, glancing down a bit as she felt her member become fully stiff, throbbing lightly against Twilight's magic, while her wings stood up against the cupboard, twitching lightly from her arousal. "So...it will be completely invisible?"

Pinkie: “Yes, but only to dolphins.”

Fluttershy: She’d better stay away from the ocean.

"Yes, precisely." Twilight nodded again, her horn glowing a little more brightly as she began the spell, her magic aura still encasing Fluttershy's entire member and balls, glowing brighter as well for a few moments, quickly causing the two parts to become invisible, leaving her crotch looking like a normal mare's.

Fallen: With 20% less yeast infection.

twow: :D

Fluttershy blinked a bit in surprise as she watched her endowment disappear from sight; Twilight's magic aura fading from it once she spell was complete. "Wow, it really is invisible..." she thought out loud, reaching down and pressing her hoof to it, feeling that it was indeed still there, but not at all visible. "That's amazing, Twilight!"

twow: “Oh, it’s nothing. I disguise my cock ALL the time!”

"Well, I don't have a cutie mark for Magic for nothing, you know!" the unicorn replied with a boastful grin,

Fallen: You know, because Twilight LOVES to brag.

Fluttershy: Now the OOC is here.

closing her spellbook with her magic. "It will last for at least twelve hours, but you can come see me to get it removed whenever you want."

"Okay, thank you Twilight."

Vinyl: “Now I can suck on it without anypony noticing!”

twow: That was a pleasant picture.

Fluttershy: I bet...

Fluttershy smiled, getting up to her feet again before hugging Twilight gently, nuzzling her cheek appreciatively. “You're the best friend a mare could have!”

Fallen: “Why, I NEVER! After all the times we’ve been to the spa together...”

Rarity:  That was a horrible impersonation of me.

Fallen: It wasn’t trying to be a good one.

“Likewise, Fluttershy.” Twilight smiled warmly as she returned the hug, blushing lightly to the nuzzling, as well as the feeling of Fluttershy's stiff member pressing lightly against her belly. “I'm happy to help you any time you need me.”

twow: “And not just for the magic.”

Sighing contently, the futa pegasus stood up again, her wings slowly folding against her back once more as her arousal decreased. “Did you want some tea, Twilight? I could make some for you.”

Vinyl: “You know, if you don’t mind that I dipped my balls in it.”

she asked, picking up her teacup again and sipping lightly from it.

“No thank you, I just had some with lunch.” Twilight shook her head, standing up as well, levitating the spellbook back into her saddlebag. “Do you need anything else from me while I'm here, though?”

Fallen: “Or should I just leave you hanging like the enormous cocktease I am?”

Pinkie: PRIMEY!

Draklox:  Blue balls are a real thing, and they hurt like fuck.

“Nope, I'm fine. Just getting ready to settle down for a quiet afternoon.” Fluttershy replied with a cute smile, sipping the rest of her tea before setting the cup down on the counter again. “I'll see you later then, Twilight?”

twow: Later, midnight, same thing.

“Mmhm, Seeya, Fluttershy.” Twilight smiled back, before turning and heading towards the door again. “Oh, one more thing, just thought I'd warn you-” she started, turning her head back towards Fluttershy. “Unicorn magic might interfere with the spell, but as long as magic doesn't touch...down there, you should be fine.”

Vinyl: (scrunches up nose) Oh WOW. That line just REEKS of plot point!

she added, before opening the front door. “See ya in a while!”

“Thanks for the warning, Twilight.” The pegasus replied with a nod, glancing down at her invisible member again, which had completely softened by now. “Ah, it will be fine...not very often unicorns use their magic on me in the first place.” she thought with a smile.

Pinkie: “Unless I WANT them to...”

twow: OH MAI. (smacked by Fluttershy)

After putting her teacup in the sink, Fluttershy returned to the living room, and curled up on the couch, sighing happily as she closed her eyes. “Just a quick nap...I'll definitely need the energy for tonight.”

twow: I bet.

 she thought with a soft giggle, gently resting her head against the cushion. Seemingly only a few minutes passed before her eyes opened again; the sound of banging coming from her front door once more.

Fallen: And for once it WASN’T her. (smacked by Fluttershy)

“Mmnh...?” she groaned softly as she awoke suddenly, blinking her eyes open and glancing over in the direction of the door, before over at the clock, seeing that she had slept nearly five hours.

twow: That’ll be on the test.

“Oh my...I guess I was more tired than I thought.” she thought, slowly getting up off of the couch and walking over to the door, gently opening it to reveal none other than the pink party pony herself.

Fluttershy: Was that just all-

twow: (faceceilings)

Fluttershy: Yeah, it was.

“Heya Fluttershy! We need to go and help set up for the big party!” Pinkie exclaimed, hopping up and down a bit with excitement.

Fallen: Was what this party even for again? If you’re hiring a DJ, it must be important.

Pinkie: It doesn’t have to be!

“Oh...right.” Fluttershy smiled softly and nodded, stepping out and closing the door behind her. “Lead the way, Pinkie.” she added, stepping up beside her pink friend.

twow: “And I will follow.”

“It's not too far, c'mon!” Pinkie replied, giggling excitedly as she started hopping down the dirt path, Fluttershy following behind her, smiling softly to herself, somewhat glad that she no longer had to wear the dress outside of her home.

Fallen: She felt pretty, oh so pretty.

twow: How about you never do that again.

Fallen: Aww, am I making you jealous?

As the two walked, Pinkie couldn't help but chatter endlessly about the rave and how awesome it was, until they finally reached the building on the far east side of Ponyville.

As she walked inside with Pinkie, Fluttershy glanced around the place, seeing a bar at one end of the main dance floor, and a stage at the other. There were a few ponies working around the place, mostly setting up electronics and cables and such. Pinkie led her pegasus friend behind the stage and up to a door with a pair of 8th notes on it, knocking on it a few times.

Vinyl: Come ON! If I wanted people to come in, the door would be open! The closed door means I’m with somepony! You should know that by now, Pinkie!

Fallen: ...with somepony in what way?

Vinyl: That’s usually their choice. I’m not picky.

Draklox:  You make it too easy Vinyl.

Vinyl: You say that as if I didn’t mean exactly what I was implying.

Draklox:  We should go for a drink sometime.

Vinyl: I might have to take you up on that.

Draklox:  How about after the riff? I got some good alcohol back at my place.

Vinyl: Sure, why not? Just don’t be disappointed if the night doesn’t end in sex. Again, I don’t do humans.

Draklox:  Did i say anything about sex? I’m not into mares myself.

Vinyl: Please. You’ve been all over Rarity this whole time.

Draklox:  All will be explained soon enough.

“Yeah?” answered a white unicorn as the door opened via her magic; lightly brushing a hoof across her forehead to push her striped blue hair out of the way of her purple shades. “Oh, hey Pinkie. You brought your friend, I see.” she added with a grin. “Name's scratch. Vinyl Scratch. Nice to meet'cha.”

twow: “Now let’s bang.” (smacked by Fluttershy)

Fluttershy smiled shyly in return, lightly extending her hoof out toward the unicorn. “I'm Fluttershy...nice to meet you Vinyl.”

“Heh, yep. Glad you could come, we need a pegasus to help hang some of the higher-up equipment.” Vinyl added, lightly shaking Fluttershy's hoof. “Think you're up to the task?”

Fluttershy: Um...maybe?

twow: That’s the spirit!

“Oh, of course. I'll help with whatever you need.” The pegasus answered with a smile and a nod, flapping her wings lightly.

“Well good, let's get to work then.” Vinyl nodded in reply, before exiting her room and leading the two others toward the stage. It was pretty bare at first, only having a few speakers and amplifiers here and there, but with Fluttershy's assistance, they managed to quickly set up all of Vinyl's equipment, almost completely transforming the once plain stage.

Fallen: They had Soundwave at the turntables and everything.

twow: Fancy.

By the time they were finished, the stage was covered with lots of amplifiers and speakers of all sizes and shapes, as well as tons of lighting fixtures all over the ceiling and upper parts of the stage. Right between two large towers of speakers was a table set up with all sorts of DJ equipment, from turntables to equalizers and the usual fare.

Vinyl: ...seriously? Is that all the tech this guy could name?

Fluttershy: Not everyone is a master tech like you Vinyl.

“Thanks for the help, you two.” Vinyl grinned toward Pinkie and Fluttershy, walking over to her equipment, flipping a few of the switches and buttons with her magic. “First show with the new equipment, it's gonna be radical!”

Pinkie: Well, I think we’ve gone long enough for now. Break time!

Fallen: Good, because I needed a good, long word with you about your little plan.

Vinyl: I was promised sex in the story. Where the hell?

Draklox:  (From TV) How are the love birds holding up?

Fallen: Shut up, both of you. Pinkie, I thought the movie thing was supposed to be foolproof.

Pinkie: It WAS! I don’t get how they haven’t figured it out yet!

twow: The movie thing? The hell you talking about?

Draklox:  We tried this Pinkie’s way, and Rarity, we tried this your way. Do it, Fallen. I’m too drunk for this shit.

Rarity:  Wait, Just give it till next break. If it still hasn’t worked, then we can do it your way.

Draklox:  Ok, but you owe me.

Fallen: Wait, Rarity’s way?

Rarity:  All will be revealed when the time is right.

Fallen: No, you know what? Fuck your way, and fuck Pinkie’s way. Drak’s right, they’re too dense to see it unless someone spells it out for them.

Draklox:  Looks like you’ve been overruled, Rare.

Rarity:  Fine, you are a lousy actor anyway. Go ahead, Fallen.

Draklox:  Whatever, I’m still holding you to your promise.

Rarity:  I gave my word, and I will abide by it. But my plan would have worked if you had played your role better.

Draklox:  Women are all the same, pony or human. (Curbstomped by all the mares within five miles)

Fallen: Yeah, you earned that. twow, Fluttershy... Pinkie and I noticed that you two were warming up to each other. Like, a lot. The Princess Bridewas supposed to be the love-bludgeon that made you two stop being idiots and acknowledge that you were developing feelings for each other, but CLEARLY it didn’t work.

Pinkie: Hey, I tried! Do you think we could try a different movie and see if it-

Fallen: Pinkie, I just flat-out said what the point was. We’re done with the movies.

Rarity:  And if Draklox wasn’t a complete pervert, we were trying to show you the benefits of an open relationship in the hopes that it would get you two to finally come to terms with your feelings for each other.

twow: Okay, what the HELL are you talking about?!

Fluttershy: Probably this. (kisses twow)

Vinyl: ...

Fallen: Of all the people I’d never expect to make the first move...

Fluttershy: Oh, I’d known for a while now. I was hoping that twow would catch on.

Draklox:  I may be a drunken pervert, but seeing this warms my heart a bit. I’m happy for you two.

twow: (blushing) Damn Fluttershy. Sorry it took so long for me to figure it out.

Draklox:  Now kiss her, moron!

(twow blushes again and pulls Fluttershy to him for a kiss)

Pinkie: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Vinyl: Blech.

Draklox:  Ya know what? I’m sorry I screwed up your plan, Rarity.

Rarity:  I accept your apology. I know it wasn’t intentional. You wanted to see them get together as much as anyone.

(Draklox and Rarity hug)

Fallen: Oh my GOD. Can we ease up on the interspecies sexual tension for AT LEAST long enough to get through the rest of the chapter?

Pinkie: Primey, you’re ruining the moment!

Draklox:  You’re just jealous Fallen.

Fallen: I’m the only one here who DIDN’T go into this single, so fuck you.

Draklox:  You still think me and Rarity are a thing. (Laughs hysterically)

Rarity:  (Laughing) Oh my no. Me and Draklox may be friends, but we will never be intimate.

Fallen: What about my last statement implied that I still thought that?

Draklox:  The fact that you thought I was single.

twow: Are you guys still fighting?

Fallen: There’s no bullet in his brain, so obviously this isn’t over.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

“Glad to help you out.” Fluttershy replied with a soft smile, before she felt Pinkie tap her shoulder, turning her head toward her friend. “Hm?”

“C'mon, last thing to do is set up all the food!”

Fallen: “If I go in there alone, it’s not all coming out with me!”

Pinkie: PRIMEY!

Pinkie excitedly said with a wide smile, before hopping off toward the kitchen, Fluttershy following behind her. Passing through the double-door to the kitchen, Fluttershy's eyes widened at the sheer amount of food gathered all around the kitchen.

twow: And then she ate it all.

Fluttershy: Are you calling me fat?

twow: Oh, FUCK no.

 Various sweets such as cookies and cupcakes, to cocktail wieners (soy of course) and tiny vegetable-filled sandwiches.

“Wow...that's a lot of food.” the timid pegasus thought out loud, Pinkie giggling a bit and nodding.

twow: “That’s a lot of fish!”

“Well yeah, we've got a lot of ponies to feed! Now help me roll it all out to the tables out there.”

twow: ♫Rollin! Rollin! Rollin on the riv-(smacked by Fallen)

Fallen: We’ve talked about this. More than once.

Pinkie added, piling a few trays on a rolling tray table, before pushing it over toward Fluttershy, who nodded lightly and grabbed the tray table, rolling it out of the kitchen and over toward the area just before the dance floor, where all the tables were.

twow: All of that will be on the test

Draklox:  It won’t be multiple choice.

Fallen: So many tests...

Draklox:  As long as there’s no pregnancy test everything is fine.

About five or six trips later,

Vinyl: That’s a lot of drugs.

twow: Geez...

Draklox:  Interesting fact, you cannot use LSD on consecutive days.

Vinyl: (standing up dramatically) Challenge acc-

Fallen: NO.

she and Pinkie had moved most of the food out to the tables, leaving some in the kitchen for refills if needed. There were six tables covered with food, but Fluttershy noticed that there weren't any drinks out. “Um, Pinkie...do we have any drinks?”

Fluttershy: “I’m partial for a margarita myself.”

twow: Huh. The more you know...

Fallen: I thought you told me you didn’t like the taste of alcohol.

Fluttershy: It was a JOKE, Fallen.

“Uh huh! They're on the house!” Pinkie replied, pointing over toward a mini-bar opposite the food tables, lots of various bottles of alcoholic drinks covering the refrigerated shelves behind the bar. “They have really good stuff here, ya know?”

twow: “I found this white powder in the back!” (smacked by Fluttershy)

Rarity:  It’s probably Anthrax.

“Oh, I see...” Fluttershy nodded softly, glancing over at the various jugs and bottles along the shelf. She had never really drank much alcohol, preferring lighter drinks like tea or juice. “I guess one or two couldn't hurt.”

Vinyl: Famous last words.

Pinkie: Even more famous than “Hey, guys! Watch this!”

Draklox:  Or “I’m not too drunk to drive home.” (Grimaces)

Fallen: (smirks) Stories from Drak’s real life.

Draklox:  Fuck you, Fallen. That’s how I got my first DUI.

Fallen: Don’t fuck me NOW. There’s people!

she thought, before turning her head to look toward the entrance, seeing lots of people outside through the window. There was only half an hour left before opening time, and just about everything in the building was set up and ready to go for the night.

twow: Lets-a go!

Fluttershy: Um...never mind.

As Pinkie hopped back toward the kitchen, Fluttershy headed back to the dance floor, seeing Vinyl playing with her equipment, testing various things on it, though no sound came from the speakers; instead going to a pair of headphones on the unicorn's head.

Fallen: Which were turned up so loud that it was still clearly audible to everyone in the room.

Vinyl: And that’s a problem because...?

twow: There’s no problem at all.

Finding a chair on the side of the room, Fluttershy took a seat to relax, listening to the bustling of the other ponies around her as they finished up preparation. Her ears perked up though as she heard the front doors open, glancing over toward them as the ponies lined up outside began to enter the building.

Fluttershy: “It’s party time!”

twow: ♫Working all day, now it’s time to unwind...♫

Fallen: I swear to GOD, twow...

After everyone outside had entered, the doors closed and the lights dimmed, while at the same time, the lights on the stage gradually brightened around Vinyl, who was leaning on the table, grinning out at the crowd on the dance floor.

twow: Oh I really wanna sing this...

Fluttershy: Go ahead.

Fallen: Are you a girlfriend or an enabler?

Fluttershy: It’s not THAT bad Fallen.

twow: Ouch.

“Let's get this rave started!” she shouted, smirking wide as she flipped a switch on the control board, before turning a dial as far to the right as it would go; the speakers and amplifiers all around her unleashing incredibly loud music immediately, filling the room with the nearly ear-shattering electronic music.

Vinyl: Buck. Yes.

twow: Drop the bass!

Of course, the sudden loud noise scared Fluttershy half to death, causing her to dart under the nearest table, holding her hooves to her ears and shivering slightly.

Fluttershy: Yeah, I’d probably do that.

twow: (lightly squeezes her)

Vinyl: Want me to test that theory?

Pinkie: Can we not? I’m trying to read!

twow: There’s a slight possibility that I might stab you if you do. Slight.

Draklox:  I’d pay to see that!

Peeking out from under the tablecloth, she saw most of the ponies dancing around on the stage, while Vinyl's head bobbed with the music; her horn glowing and playing with various controls on her equipment.

twow: So, how complicated is it?

Vinyl: Let me put it this way... you don’t have enough fingers on both hands to make that shit work right.

“Oww...that was loud...” she thought, slowly removing her hooves from her ears as they became more accustomed to the loud noise; glancing around to make sure nobody was looking, before stepping out from under the table again.

Fluttershy: And then I left.

twow: I wish.

She didn't really recognize many of the ponies on the dance floor, and wasn't really feeling comfortable dancing yet,

Vinyl: Screw dancing! I just wanna see some heads banging and some hooves pumping!

so she decided to head over to the bar first, to get something to drink.

Stepping up to the bar, the bartender glanced towards her, grinning lightly. “What'll it be, miss?” he spoke, setting a glass down on the bar.

twow: “Everything.”

Fluttershy: I don’t want to know what I’d be like drunk...

“Um...” Fluttershy started, putting a hoof to her lip and glancing at the various bottles. She didn't really know any brands of alcohol; what she had drank before was usually whatever Pinkie happened to be serving at her parties. “I'll just have...anything is fine.” she meekly said, blushing lightly.

Fallen: She was given the strongest drink there.

Draklox:  Everclear Straight.

Pinkie: I’ve never seen Fluttershy drink. I wonder what she’s like drunk...?

twow: Part of me really wants to find out.

“Eh, whatever.” The bartender shrugged, grabbing one of the bottles seemingly at random and pouring it into the glass until it nearly reached the rim. “Enjoy, miss.”

“Thank you...” she spoke quietly, smiling as she pulled the glass over towards herself and gently pressed her lips against the rim, sipping the alcoholic beverage slowly.

twow: She instantly came.

Fallen: We’re gonna be using that a lot, aren’t we.

 She blinked a bit as it flowed over her tongue, having a sweet, yet slightly bitter taste; the combination of the two being surprisingly well-tasting. “Mm, not as good as Pinkie's drinks, but decent I guess.” she thought.

twow: You make drinks Pinkie?

Pinkie: According to the story, I do! Really, though, that’s more Berry Punch’s job.

Draklox:  I still want to know when I get to meet her!

Fallen: Dude, Ihaven’t even met her.

As the night went on, Fluttershy mostly wandered around the place, listening to Vinyl's music and watching the other ponies dancing on the dance floor. After about half an hour of this, Pinkie stumbled into her, giggling excitedly, smiling wide at the pegasus.

“Hehe...c'mon Fluttershy, let's get you dancin'!” she spoke somewhat hazily, clearly having had quite a few drinks already, being the party pony she was.

twow: Do you dance Flutters?

Fluttershy: Not normally, but we could try sometime.

Vinyl: I’m sure I could put together a good set for that...

“Uhm, I'm not so sure, Pinkie...I don't really know how to dance very well, and-” she started, although it was useless, as Pinkie was already dragging her onto the dance floor. She blushed slightly in embarrassment, trying to go along with Pinkie's semi-drunken dancing;

twow: Oh boy. We got a drunk Pinkie Pie. Only good things can happen.

Fallen: Have you ever been drunk, Pinkie?

Pinkie: A few times, I think. I end up waking up in weird places when I do, though, so...

Draklox:  You should riff with me some time. Instead of sitting back and just sending me fics.

Pinkie: Good idea, Starfox!

Draklox:  Now I’m sure you’re doing that on purpose. That wasn’t even close.

 her eyes darting left and right, not seeing anyone really staring at her or her pink friend; too engrossed in their own dancing to notice.

“Woo, yeah, crank it up Vinyl!” Pinkie shouted, although the music was much too loud for the DJ to hear her as she continued to dance wildly next to Fluttershy.

twow: Realllly wanna sing right here.

Draklox:  Do it. Fallen’s pain amuses me.

Fallen: The moment we finish, run.

Draklox:  I’m not afraid of you.

 She was swinging her legs around a bit with her drunken dancing, Fluttershy having to avoid her a few times as she nearly smacked the pegasus with her front legs. Unfortunately though, a sudden movement from one of Pinkie's back legs caught Fluttershy off guard; the hoof smacking right against the pegasus' crotch.

All three males: (jumps) FUCK!

Pinkie: I wonder what that actually feels like...

Vinyl: I think I’m happy not knowing.

Draklox:  Just about like getting bucked in your vaginas.

Fallen: I’m gonna get so killed for this, but... cunt-punting?

Draklox:  I was trying to be a bit classy about it, but basically yes.

Fluttershy's eyes widened in pain from the blow, having never felt pain in such a way before. She bit her lip gently so as not to shout in pain, her eyes tearing up slightly as well as she felt a strong semi-numb pain in her lower regions.

twow: I would have collapsed on the spot.

Fluttershy: Awww. (reaches towards twow)

twow: I’m fine! Don’t touch it!

Pinkie didn't seem to notice, too busy with her dancing like everyone else; the pained pegasus wobbling off the dance floor and towards the nearest door, pushing it open and entering what appeared to be a small living room.

twow: Wonder if anypony lives in there. (smacked by Fallen)

As the door closed behind her, she groaned somewhat loudly in pain, sitting down and gently rubbing her aching balls, the pain still there but slowly subsiding. “Owww...that really hurts...”

Fallen: To say that’s an understatement would be an insult to understatements.

twow: Impressive.

she thought, wiping tears from her eyes with her other hoof. Glancing forward, she saw a couch in the middle of the room, with a large TV against the wall in front of it, as well as a couple refrigerators in the far corner of the room. Standing up again, she stepped over to the couch and laid down on it, resting her head against the arm rest.

Fluttershy: How did I recover so fast?

Fallen: Why do you call them armrests if you technically don’t have arms?

Even from inside the room, the music from the dance floor was loud and clear, the heavy bass making things vibrate slightly. Fluttershy sighed softly as she rested on the couch, the pain in her lower body subsiding after a few more minutes, though she continued to lay on the couch, feeling somewhat drunk, despite only having drank two or three glasses.

twow: But just drunk enough to be sober.

Vinyl: ...buzzed?

Draklox:  Enough to fail a breathalyzer.

Her eyes slowly opened again as she heard the door creak open, glancing over toward it to see the familiar white-coated DJ approaching. “Yo, you alright?” Vinyl asked as she walked up to the couch, glancing over the sprawled-out pegasus. “I saw you stumble over here, everything okay?”

twow: “Yeah! I just got kicked in the nu- Never mind!”

“Uhm...yes, I'm fine, thank you...” Fluttershy blushed lightly and smiled as Vinyl sat back on the couch next to her. “Just a little tired from all this partying.” she lied, sitting back up again. She noticed the unicorn's horn glow softly, seeing a puzzled look on Vinyl's face as she seemed to be studying something about Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: She’s admiring my mane. I hope.

Fallen: In all fairness, that’s a hell of a mane you’ve got there.

“Huh...that's some crazy magic she's got on her.” Vinyl thought, sensing not one but two enchantments on the pegasus. “Oh well, she seems to be fine.” she thought with a mental shrug.

Fallen: Don’t hire her for airport security.

Pinkie: “Oh, her bag’s setting off the alarm? Whatever, I’m sure she’s fine.”

“How ya likin' the party so far?” she asked with a grin towards Fluttershy. “I played a few of my more popular songs to begin with.”

twow:A Night with Dubstep and Dancing in the Dub.

Vinyl: Please. Those are stupid names.

twow: There’s a reason that’s not what I do for a living.

Vinyl: Other than you’d suck at it?

twow: Fuck off.

“Oh, it's...nice.” The pegasus replied, keeping her soft smile. “I've never been to a rave before though...so I don't really know what's good or not.” she added with a soft giggle.

“Heh, s'alright. You can rest assured I'm one of the best around.” Vinyl nodded, grinning proudly as she placed a hoof on her chest. “I'm taking a short break right now though; lettin' the other guy play. Nice kid, too.”

twow: “We banged.” (smacked by Vinyl)

“I see...” Fluttershy nodded softly in return, before turning her head toward the door as she heard something large bump into it. A moment later, the door burst open, a highly-intoxicated Pinkie giggling and smiling as she stumbled into the room.

Fluttershy; That can’t be a good sign.

Pinkie: Why? The party don’t start ‘til I- (smacked by Fallen)

Fallen: I won’t let Vinyl get away with that either. I have to be fair.

Draklox:  Smack her again!

Fallen: ...why?

Draklox:  Cause it’s funny as hell.

Fallen: Look, I don’t know what issues you have with your Pinkie, but...

Draklox:  This one is just as bad.

Vinyl: Wait, what other Pinkies are-

twow: Hey Look! Story!

“There you are, Flutter..shy!” the pink pony slurred, walking over toward the couch, grinning at the two ponies sitting on it. “C'mon, we've still got more partying to do!” she added, moving in front of Fluttershy as her smile suddenly turned to a confused look.

twow: “Party? What that??”

“Um...Pinkie?” Fluttershy asked, looking just as confused as Pinkie from the look she was getting; watching as the earth pony brought her hoof up and slowly rubbed her forehead again, before looking at her hoof, then back up at Fluttershy.

“Why're you hiding it from everyone, Fluttershy?” she asked quite knowingly, tilting her head to the side a bit. “I mean, I wouldn't hate you for it or anything!”

Fallen: “I mean, I’d hate you for not SHARING, but-”

Pinkie: PRIMEY!

Fluttershy's cheeks blushed quite a bit as she gulped softly. “Uhm...I don't know what you're talking about, Pinkie.” she lied with a nervous smile, her eyes darting back and forth between Pinkie and also Vinyl, who was now staring rather inquisitively at the pegasus, lifting up her purple shades with her magic.

Fluttershy: I kinda suck at lying.

Fallen: I’ve noticed that you all do.

“My Pinkie Sense never lies!” Pinkie retorted with a grin, running her hoof over her forehead again. “My forehead is slippery and slick, Fluttershy! And when my forehead is all slippery and slick, that means somepony's hiding a dick!”

twow: Because OKAY.

Vinyl: Is there an actual sense you have for that?

Pinkie: I’ve never needed it, so I don’t know what it would be!

 she continued, pointing her hoof toward Fluttershy's crotch, which still appeared normal due to Twilight's magic.

“Oh?” Vinyl smirked, raising an eyebrow to the pink mare's statement. “Is that what that enchantment on you is? Some extra equipment?” she teased, Fluttershy blushing a deep red by now, her eyes darting between the two other mares again.

Fluttershy: “Yeah. The extra turntable is in the corner.”

“Y-Yes...” Fluttershy whispered, rubbing her hooves together nervously as she looked down at her lower body. “It's...a long story, but yes...I didn't want to cause any disruption, so I had Twilight put an invisibility spell on it.”

twow: “Many ponies were screwed.”

“Invisibility spell, eh?” Vinyl continued with a playful smirk, her horn glowing as she worked to dispel Twilight's magic; one of the few spells she actually remembered. With a small flash, Fluttershy's extra equipment became visible once more, hanging limp between her legs. “Heh, I guess magic school wasn't so useless after all!”

Vinyl: Eh. I don’t use half of what I learned there.

twow: I’m just gonna call plot device and be done with it.

“Oh my...” The pegasus blushed even deeper now that her soft member was in full sight to the other two mares, having slipped out from the gentle rubbing earlier.

“'Oh my' is right! Look at you, Fluttershy!” Pinkie grinned wide at the sight, her mind still very much under the influence of her earlier drinks. “I didn't think it'd be so big!”

Fluttershy: That’s a statement I don’t want to hear in this context ever again.

Fallen: Eight more chapters.

Fluttershy: (shudders)

twow: (wraps arm around her) Really man?

“She's right. I gotta admit, that's pretty hot.” Vinyl teased with a grin, leaning in closer to the blushing pegasus and lightly pressing against her side. “Dunno why you'd wanna hide that...I'd think that most of the mares around here would love playing with it!”

Pinkie: Is she wrong, though? Most of them already have!

twow: Makes you wonder why she STILL wants to hide it.

Opening her eyes again to the unicorn's words, Fluttershy glanced back at her, though still blushing as she pressed in closer. “I g-guess...but wouldn't they think I'm a freak or something? A mare with a penis isn't exactly normal...and I don't want my good image damaged, either...”

Fluttershy: But, ponies already know about it!

“Then it'll be our little secret!” Pinkie giggled, smirking as she hopped up onto the couch as well, pressing against Fluttershy's other side. “Well...not really much of a secret considering this is the fifth chapter of the story, but still!”

Fallen: ...I want to say that’s story Pinkie breaking the fourth wall, but it could just as easily be this Pinkie injecting herself into the story.

Pinkie: No, that would be cheating!

twow: Nopony has to know.

she added, getting a confused look from Vinyl, but the unicorn just figured it was “Pinkie being Pinkie”, grinning and shaking her head slightly.

“You've certainly got me curious, Flutters.” The DJ spoke with a playful smirk, placing her hoof on Fluttershy's chest as she leaned in a little closer. “Whaddaya say we have a little fun, hm? I just gotta know how a magical cock feels.” she continued, giggling lightly to how silly it sounded.

twow: Well, this escalated quickly.

Vinyl: Hey, at least it’s escalating.

Fallen: ...you’re ENJOYING this?

Vinyl: Sex is sex. I can still like this.

Draklox:  Sex is like pizza: when it’s good, it’s incredible; when its bad, it’s still pretty good.

“Ooh, yeah, that sounds like a great idea! Besides, the readers want us to do it anyways, so why not?” Pinkie added with a grin, placing her hoof over Fluttershy's chest as well, her head swaying a bit from her intoxication as she leaned in a little closer as well.

Fluttershy: (leans closer to twow)

twow: The hell are you doing?

Fluttershy: What do you think? (kisses him)

twow: Right. Sorry, still trying to process this day.

The nervous pegasus gulped softly as the other two mares leaned in closer to her, glancing back and forth between both of their lustful gazes, sighing quietly. “Well...I guess I could use a little stress relief.” she thought, before nodding softly to Pinkie and Vinyl with a small smile. “W-Whenever you're ready, I guess...”

Fluttershy: Can we break before we get into this?

Fallen: Meh. Sure.

Fallen: Wow. That one actually took a while to get to.

Draklox:  We lost Rarity a while back. I gave her the wrong bottle of wine.

Fallen: Good fuckin’ job, bro.

Vinyl: You’re too white to say “bro.”

Fallen: Why would whiteness even MATTER to you?

Draklox:  She’ll be fine, she just needs a short nap. It was my special mix of moonshine and merlot.

Fallen: So... not even remotely wine?

Draklox:  More like wine with an extra kick. How was I supposed to know she was a lightweight?

Fallen: ...MOONSHINE.

Draklox:  I can drink the whole bottle and be fine.

Fallen: You’re a professional drunk.

Draklox:  Good point. Anyway, after her nap, she’ll be fine.

twow: So, this chapter was long as hell.

Pinkie: Not really “was.” It’s still going!

twow: Why did you remind me?

Fluttershy: For some reason, it’s not bothering me as much. At least, not as much as the last chapter.

Fallen: Probably because Vinyl and Pinkie aren’t being massive creepers about it.

Draklox:  I can only pick up the slack so much!

twow: I mean, that sorta makes a little sense.

Fluttershy: So, not really?

twow: None at all. And for once, you and I aren’t the stars of this show.

Draklox:  Only because I like Fluttershy am I going so easy on yall.

Fallen: I have to focus my energies on reining in DJ Dumbass.

Vinyl: Oh, that’s not even the first time you’ve called me that. Grow some originality.

Rarity:  (From background groans and snores loudly)

Draklox:  See, she’s still alive. Now back to the riff!

Fallen: Do we have to?

Vinyl: Do you not want to? The sex is starting!

Fallen: I will never understand why I put up with you.

Draklox:  You know you love all of us!

Fallen: You should take up comedy. You’re good at it.

Pinkie: Alright, we’re all set here! Start ‘er up, Ex-Lax!

Draklox:  One of these days balloon butt, one of these days.

Fluttershy: twow?

twow: Hmm? What’s up?

Fluttershy: Just... just hold me.

twow: (wraps arms around Fluttershy)

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

“Mm, let's get it on then, you sexy thang!” Pinkie blurted out with a smirk, suddenly moving her head forward and mashing her lips against Fluttershy's in a sloppy kiss, causing the pegasus' eyes to widen in surprise.

twow: “Oh hell! Lips!”

 Vinyl grimaced a bit to the sight, before leaning her head in as well, gently nuzzling Fluttershy's neck and giving her gentle love bites while her hoof wandered down the futa pony's body, slowly stroking over her smooth coat until it reached her soft member.

Fluttershy: And we all know it’s not gonna stay like that.

Fallen: Call it pattern recognition.

Fluttershy groaned softly into the drunken kiss with Pinkie, closing her eyes slowly as she tried to relax, feeling Vinyl's soft hoof stroking over her member, sending tingles of pleasure through it as it slowly stiffened. The unicorn's love bites to her neck only served to arouse her further; her wings slowly spreading and twitching lightly against the couch behind her.

Vinyl: Ooh, somepony likes to be bitten...

twow: OM NOM.

“Mm, that's it...get nice and hard for me...” Vinyl thought as she continued to lightly slurp and nibble at Fluttershy's neck, stroking her hoof up and down the magical member as it grew and stood up in arousal; her own sex moistening up nicely as her own arousal grew.

Fluttershy: Is that gonna be on the test?

twow: That’s the bonus question.

Draklox:  It will be in essay form.

Vinyl: Sounds like an awesome bonus.

Fallen: Seriously, how are you so into this!?

Vinyl: Do I LOOK like somepony who’s picky about who she lets sleep with her?

twow: Humans. Nuff said.

Vinyl: Other species. WAY different.

In just a few moments, the futa pegasus' pride had fully stiffened, throbbing lightly against the soft hoof stroking it while she continued to kiss Pinkie for a little longer, before the pink mare slowly pulled back with a grin, glancing down at Fluttershy's fully-aroused member.

“Oooh...you're almost as big as Mr.Cake!”

Pinkie: (horrified) How would I know that!?

twow: What the fuck?!

she giggled softly, licking her lips as she moved her hoof down to teasingly stroke the twitching shaft with Vinyl; Fluttershy panting and moaning quietly from the gentle pleasure of their hooves, a couple drops of her warm precum escaping and smearing onto the two other mares' hooves.

“Leaking already, huh? Never would have thought a shy pony could be so horny.”

Fallen: If you never had that assumption, you wouldn’t fit in with most of the clop crowd.

Vinyl teased with a sultry tone, smirking as she leaned down further until the pegasus' member was in front of her face, sticking her tongue out and slurping up the warm precum, while her hoof continued to stroke up and down the length with Pinkie's.

twow: ♫Double hoofjob all the way across the length...♫(smacked by Fallen)

Fallen: If you sing this much when sober, NEVER DRINK.

Draklox:  twow, your welcome at my place anytime.

“Ahh, y-yes...your hooves feel so nice...” Fluttershy moaned, leaning her head back against the couch as she enjoyed the two mares' work on her member, feeling Vinyl's tongue stroking around the tip a few more times, before the DJ's lips pressed to the tip and slowly took the first few inches into her mouth.

Vinyl: I’m having a hard time trying to imagine what a magically-granted penis would taste like.

Fallen: Why are you even trying!?

twow: And no. I will NOT attempt that on ANYpony.

“Hehe...save some for me!” Pinkie said with a grin as she watched Vinyl suckle on Fluttershy's member, leaning down with her and dragging her tongue along the base of the twitching futa cock, also managing to slurp over the two balls hanging below a few times.

Fluttershy: Should I be flattered because they both want me, or disgusted because of the same?

twow: Yes.

Their combined oral work only rewarded Vinyl with more of Fluttershy's delicious precum, being lapped up as quickly as it was flowing while the DJ lightly bobbed her head up and down, keeping her lips pursed tightly around the pegasus' shaft.

twow: Kinky? (smacked by Fluttershy)

Vinyl: You didn’t do it right. (clears throat) Kin-kaaaaaay. (smacked harder)

“Mmmnh...s-so...wonderful...” Fluttershy panted, blushing deeply from the two mares' treatment, instinctively placing her hooves gently on their heads, while her wings continued to twitch lightly against the couch. Already she could feel the familiar pressure building up in her loins, her orgasm approaching rather quickly due to the alcohol in her system.

twow: Huh. Didn’t know alcohol does that to you.

As Vinyl gradually took the pegasus' member deeper into her mouth, she also accelerated her head bobbing, letting her tongue drag along the underside of the shaft, catching any precum that flowed out.

Fluttershy: Am I waterfalling again?

twow: (snickers)

Fluttershy: What?

twow: Oh, nothing...

 Feeling it throb harder in her mouth, she grinned lightly, knowing Fluttershy's orgasm wasn't too far off; her horn glowing softly as her magic aura surrounded the pegasus' balls and began to fondle and massage them, only adding even more pleasure for the futa pegasus.

twow: Flutters, I can’t feel my arms. Can I let you g-

Fluttershy: NO.

Fallen: Atta girl! Don’t let up even in the face of cut-off circulation!

Meanwhile, Pinkie had moved lower, pressing her lips against Fluttershy's moist pink slit, sloppily dragging her tongue over it, lapping up any moisture from it and enjoying the sweet flavor, while one hoof was between her legs, firmly rubbing over her own nethers. “Mmmnh, I forgot how tasty...mmm...you are, Fluttershy!”

Fallen: Wait. “Forgot” implies that the two of you...

Pinkie: NO!!!

Rarity: (Groans in the background of the TV) Uuugh, why does it feel like I tried to drink sand?

Draklox: Looks like she’s awake.

she said between slurps, her tongue slipping inside the moist slit every few licks.

Fluttershy was too lost in pleasure to reply, her eyes closed tightly from the double pleasure of having both parts serviced at the same time; lightly pressing her hooves onto both mares' heads as her hips bucked up lightly against Vinyl's mouth.

twow: Chipping a tooth in the process.

Fallen: Ouch. You’d have to be LITERALLY hard as a rock to pull that off.

twow: Too bad we can’t test that theory.

Vinyl: Can’t or won’t?

Fallen: ...either.

“Aahh...nnh...I'm...oohh...!” she started, before crying out blissfully as she hit her climax, her hips bucking up further, sliding her throbbing length deeper into Vinyl's mouth, the tip pressing against the back of her mouth.

Fluttershy: Well, that was a little rude of me.

The sudden thrust took Vinyl by surprise at first, but she quickly pursed her lips tighter around Fluttershy's cock and slurped it firmly, feeling the hot seed gushing into her mouth, only to be quickly swallowed. Pinkie continued as well, dragging her tongue repeatedly over Fluttershy's pink slit as a small stream of her female juices flowed out, giggling excitedly from the sweet taste.

twow: It tasted like butter.

Fluttershy: HOW.

twow: My brain keeps dying on me.

Pinkie: Well, in all fairness, that’s what I imagined it would-

Fallen: I still have no idea why that was ever a thing you gave serious thought.

As the futa pegasus' orgasm slowed to a halt, she felt Vinyl's lips slowly slide up her shaft until they left; the DJ sighing contently as she licked her lips clean of any loose flavor, smirking up at Fluttershy. “Mmmnh, definitely just as tasty as a stallion, that's for sure.” she complimented,

Fluttershy: That was a COMPLIMENT?

twow: I guess?

before glancing down at Pinkie, who was still eagerly slurping at Fluttershy's female parts, despite her orgasm having ended. “Heheh...you can stop now, Pinkie.”

“Mmmnh...it's just so tasty!” the pink mare giggled, giving a few more firm licks to her friend's moist slit before pulling her head back up and licking her lips a few times, smiling happily. “We've gotta do this more often, Fluttershy!”

twow: “I’m gonna spread it on my toast!” (smacked by Pinkie and Fluttershy)

Vinyl: ...actually, next mare I’m with, I just might-

Fallen: OH LOOK A STORY.

“Ahh...th-thank you...” Fluttershy panted in the afterglow of her powerful orgasm, her chest still rising and falling rather quickly as she caught her breath, blushing and smiling softly at the two mares on either side of her. “That was...really wonderful, you two.”

twow: Ready for round two, guys?

Draklox: (Looking badly beaten) I’d comment on that, but I’m currently being beaten by a severely angry, hungover unicorn. (Glows and is thrown away from the screen)

Fallen: Atta GIRL, Rarity!

twow: (looking at Fluttershy) Have I ever told you how happy I am that you’re a pegasus?

“Glad you approve, Flutters.” Vinyl grinned and nodded, sitting back up again, while her hoof moved back down and began to lightly stroke Fluttershy's member once more. “I'm just gettin' started, though. I still wanna feel this thing inside me.”

Fluttershy: Ech.

 she added with a playful smirk, before climbing onto the pegasus' lap, getting into a cowgirl position with her moist entrance pressing lightly against the tip of the pegasus' cock.

Vinyl: ...what? No, I’m not aroused right now.

twow: (putting cellphone down) Sorry, I was calling bullshit.

“Oh, my...” Fluttershy mumbled, still recovering from her first orgasm as the unicorn straddled her body so suddenly, trying her best to catch her breath as she stared up at Vinyl's lustful smirk. “W-Whenever you're ready, I guess...” she added, lightly resting her hooves over the two pairs of 8th notes on the unicorn's flanks.

Fluttershy: Just as long as we can get this over with.

Vinyl: What’s the rush?

Fallen: Oh my god. Vinyl, please just find yourself a nice quiet corner and don’t come back until you get your shit sorted out.

Pinkie: You should be nicer to Scratchie.

Fallen: She’s THIS close to masturbating in front of God and everyone.

Vinyl blushed lightly to the feeling of the hooves on her flanks, but continued to smirk lustily, placing her own hooves on Fluttershy's shoulders as she leaned her head in closer.

twow: Are you going to hint again?

Fluttershy: Hint? No. (kisses twow)

 Closing her eyes, she pressed her lips gently to Fluttershy's, while slowly pushing her waist down, letting the pegasus rest a bit before she would get to the real fun. Both mares groaned happily into the kiss as Fluttershy's eager member penetrated Vinyl's moist lower lips and began to push inside, rubbing along the hot inner walls.

twow: Painting with style.

Vinyl: And so it begins...

Fallen: Pinkie, keep an eye on her.

Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Pinkie grinned deviously and stepped off the couch, positioning herself between Fluttershy's legs and grasping her waist, moving her head in close to the pegasus crotch, going in for another taste of her delicious nectar.

twow: Now it’s honey?

Fluttershy; What’s wrong with my body?!

In just a few moments, the lusty pegasus slowly opened her eyes again as she felt Vinyl slowly pull back from the kiss, moaning softly in pleasure once Fluttershy's cock was fully hilted inside her, being gently squeezed by the unicorn's soft, steamy insides.

twow: (facefloors)

Fluttershy: Oh, come on!

Fallen: Is she behaving, Pinkie? I refuse to look in her direction.

Pinkie: ...define “behaving.”

Fallen: CORNER, Vinyl! You are just INCORRIGIBLE.

Vinyl: Alright, fine! Killjoys...

Rarity: Well, I think he- OH SWEET PRINCESSES VINYL WHAT ARE YOU DOING(Shuts off screen quickly)

twow: Vinyl, what the FUCK.

Fallen: ...Pinkie, why were you just watching?

Pinkie: Well, she seemed like she was having fun. I didn’t want to interrupt her!

Fallen: NOT EVEN REMOTELYAN ANSWER.

At the same time, she felt Pinkie's tongue gently slurping over her pink slit again, which had moistened up again as her arousal rekindled. “Ooh...y-you feel great...Vinyl...” she quietly complimented, glancing up into the DJ's eyes.

twow: Kind of like a baseball mitt.

“Mmnh, so do you, sexy...just the right size.” Vinyl replied with a lustful grin, her hooves lightly stroking Fluttershy's shoulders as she twisted her hips ever so slightly, rubbing her soft inner walls gently against Fluttershy's twitching member.

Fluttershy: Just gonna keep saying “walls” huh?

Fallen: ...I almost made a joke about walls closing in.

 She could already feel droplets of warm precum smearing along her insides, Pinkie's snout bumping and nuzzling against the pegasus' balls as she happily slurped away at the moist slit. “Let's get this party started, shall we?”

Pinkie: I think Scratchie’s got her own little party of one going.

Vinyl: Rub it in, why don’t you...

Fallen: Phrasing!

Keeping her lustful grin, the unicorn grasped Fluttershy's shoulders a little tighter as she pulled herself up, sliding Fluttershy's cock almost all the way out, before pressing firmly back down onto it, letting out a pleased moan.

twow: Insert comment that’ll get me smacked here.

Fluttershy: Running out?

twow: Just want this chapter to end.

“Ooh, yeah...that's the stuff...” she moaned softly, slowly repeating the motion, this time getting a quiet moan from Fluttershy; repeating the motion again and again until she was steadily riding the magic futa cock, her white cheeks tinting red from the wonderful pleasure.

Pinkie: As opposed to...?

Fallen: HOW many rapefics have we riffed?

twow: Too many.

Fluttershy: FAR too many.

Rarity: (From speaker) One was too many.

“Aaah...V-Vinyl...!” Fluttershy panted in bliss, her eyes rolling back a bit from the magnificent double pleasure of Vinyl's riding and Pinkie's vigorous licking, her hooves gently squeezing Vinyl's flanks as she rode steadily. “Mmmff, c-can't cum...too quickly!” she thought, already feeling loads of her warm pre oozing out as Vinyl's steamy insides squeezed her cock more firmly.

Fallen: Steam implies temperatures hot enough to boil water. And scald bare flesh. Your dick should have burns when it comes out.

Fluttershy: Owwww.

Pinkie continued her eager slurping meanwhile, lapping up as much of Fluttershy's sweet juices as she could, grinning widely from the delicious taste, while her hoof resumed rubbing between her own legs; thoughts of riding the sizable member in front of her flowing through her head.

twow: Oh mai, Pinkie.

 While she dragged her tongue over Fluttershy's slit, her snout nuzzled against the pegasus' balls, only teasing her with more pleasure and coaxing out more of her sticky precum.

“Mmmnh, oh yeah...so buckin'...good!”

Fallen: ...that was story Vinyl, right?

Pinkie: Duh!

Fallen: Just checking.

Vinyl grunted as she continued to ride Fluttershy steadily, her own warm juices coating the pegasus' member thoroughly as her orgasm built up steadily, only helping her to ride even faster and harder, her crotch smacking against Fluttershy's now as she pushed down more firmly.

twow: ♫Harder, better, faster, stronger...♫

Fallen: ...actually, I like Daft Punk. I’ll give you that one.

Biting her lip now, Fluttershy panted and groaned in bliss from the pleasure coursing through both of her sexes, squeezing and gently massaging Vinyl's flanks while trying to hold back her orgasm as best as she could, already feeling quite close from the double-pleasure the two mares were providing her. “Mmmnnfff...aaah...yes...yes...!” she moaned, her cheeks blushing a deep red from the overwhelming pleasure.

twow: I mean...why the hell are you blushing now?!

Fluttershy: You really don’t want to know.

“Heheh...there we go...not so shy now, are ya?” The lusty DJ teased with a smirk, panting softly in pleasure as she felt her own orgasm approaching rapidly, her warm juices mixing with the copious amounts of Fluttershy's precum oozing into her, while her steamy insides squeezed the futa cock tightly, as if milking Fluttershy's orgasm.

Fallen: ...Fluttershy, I think story Vinyl called you a cow.

Fluttershy: Wha-

twow: (covers Fluttershy’s mouth) Moving on now.

Vinyl wasn't the only one milking the pegasus' orgasm though; Pinkie's tongue had plunged inside Fluttershy's moist slit, slurping at her silky inner walls, eager to taste as much of the delicious essence as she could.

Fallen: I swear, if it’s not Pinkie that’s the pussy worshipper, it’s Rainbow Dash...

Pinkie: PRIMEY!!!

“Sooo...mm...gooood!” she thought with a mental grin, unknowingly teasing Fluttershy's sensitive clit with her upper lip, while her snout continued to rub along the two balls above, only stimulating the lusty pegasus further.

Fluttershy: So, that’s how it works?

twow: I’m not having that discussion right now.

It was all too much for Fluttershy; the pressure in her loins becoming too much to bear as she finally let out a cry of bliss, her hips bucking upward against Vinyl while her hooves squeezed the DJ's flanks firmly. “Aahh...y-yes...I'm cumming!!” she moaned, her member throbbing and twitching wildly as it gushed thick shots of her hot cum deep into the unicorn's sex, flooding the steamy canal while feeling it clench tighter around her member.

Fallen: I just had the weirdest mental image of a pregnant Vinyl at her turntables.

The flood of steamy fluids splashing deeply inside her had triggered Vinyl's orgasm as well; biting her lip as she pressed down firmly onto Fluttershy's throbbing length, her own flood of sweet juices gushing out and mixing with the pegasus' cum, oozing out onto Fluttershy's crotch as all the liquid became too much for her insides to hold.

twow: And then she exploded! (smacked by everyone)

“Nnhh, buck yeah!” she groaned, leaning her head back in bliss with Fluttershy.

“Oooh, that's it!” Pinkie giggled excitedly as a rush of Fluttershy's sweet nectar splashed all over her snout and into her mouth, slurping over Fluttershy's nether lips to get as much as she could, although a lot of it managed to splash onto the couch and Pinkie's chest.

twow: Better not pull a Twilight and leave it there.

Fallen: Wait, was Fluttershy sitting on Pinkie’s face? While also having Vinyl ride her? How is her skull not crushed?

Fluttershy: Does it really matter?

A bit of the mixture oozing from Vinyl's sex had dripped down onto Pinkie's snout as well, only to be quickly lapped up by her agile tongue.

Still recovering from her powerful orgasm, Fluttershy's chest rose and fell quickly with her heavy breathing, her grip on Vinyl's flanks loosening as well while she leaned back onto the couch, her mid-closed eyes glancing up at the ceiling as she felt her afterglow slowly wash over her.

twow: She came instantly.

Fluttershy: Impressive?

 The also exhausted Vinyl gently laid against Fluttershy's body, her hooves lightly stroking along the pegasus' shoulders while she cuddled gently against her.

twow: I’m jealous.

Fluttershy: Do you want to cuddle, twow?

twow: If that’s a promise for later, I’m in.

“Hehe...not bad, Flutters...” she softly whispered into Fluttershy's ear, smirking lightly as she enjoyed her afterglow as well; her soft inner walls slowly loosening around Fluttershy's spent member. “Pretty good for a mare, I gotta say.”

Vinyl: Alright, what’d I miss? The hot part, right?

Rarity: (Turns screen on while avoiding looking at it) Has Vinyl composed herself yet?

Fallen: Looks like it. Uh... twow, I’m running on the assumption that she didn’t clean up after herself, so...

twow: Damn it Vinyl! Clean your shit up!

Vinyl: It’s not shit! That’d be NASTY.

twow: FUCK. YOU.

Vinyl: You’re that willing to cheat on your new girlfriend already?

twow: (twitches)

“Nnh, th-thank you...” Fluttershy replied quietly, glancing down at the DJ with a slight smile, enjoying the gentle embrace with her as she slowly recovered from her own afterglow. “It was really...nice...”

“Mm, and tasty!” Pinkie giggled, licking her lips as she sat up again, smiling up at the two mares above her. “You should totally try makin' some cupcakes with that stuff, Fluttershy! They'd be the tastiest ever!”

All: EW!

Draklox: (Appears on screen with a bloody nose, black eye, and split lip) What did I miss?

twow: Holy DAMN Rarity.

Rarity: He deserved it.

Fallen: Doin’ me proud, Rare.

“You're nuts, Pinkie.” Vinyl giggled, turning her head to the side and glancing down at the pink mare. “And alcohol just seems to make you even more nuts.”

twow: Also makes her want nuts. (smacked by Pinkie)

 she teased, poking her tongue out a bit as she slowly pulled herself up off of Fluttershy's member, turning back toward the pegasus. “Wish we could play some more, but I've gotta get back on stage.” she explained, hopping off the couch and stretching a bit.

Fluttershy: And pulled a muscle.

twow: OW.

“Oh, um...that's fine. I'm kinda tired anyways...” Fluttershy smiled back, sitting up a bit on the couch, sighing happily.

“We definitely need to do this again, though.” Vinyl added with a wink towards Fluttershy as she cleaned herself up with some moist paper towels. “Come to another one of my gigs and I'll show ya some real fun.” she teased with a playful smirk, walking over towards the door after cleaning up.

twow: “Next time, we’ll use the turntable.”

“Hehe...of course...” Fluttershy answered quietly with a gentle nod toward the unicorn; her gaze turning toward Pinkie though, as the pink mare smirked and climbed up onto Fluttershy. “Uh...Pinkie?”

Pinkie: “Ever heard of a recharge period?”

“Mm, I want a turn, now!” she said, grasping Fluttershy's shoulders just as Vinyl had, while grinding her moist nether lips against Fluttershy's semi-hard member, causing it to slowly stiffen back up again. “It ain't a sexy party until Pinkie gets some!”

twow: I mean, because this makes sense.

Fluttershy: Never get drunk, Pinkie. Please.

“Have fun, you two.” Vinyl giggled at the sight as she opened the door and left the room, closing the door tightly behind her; Fluttershy blushing heavily to Pinkie's sudden mounting, gulping a bit.

“Uhm...c-could we do this some other time, Pinkie? I'm awfully tired...” The pegasus protested quietly, despite her now fully stiff member seeming to say otherwise, throbbing lightly against Pinkie's warm slit. “I really would love to play some more but...I don't want to be sore in the morning.”

twow: “Dick now. Be sore later.”

Vinyl: You’re just classin’ it up, aren’t you?

Fallen: Of all ponies...

Pinkie smirked, giggling lightly and shaking her head. “Nah, I've seen ponies go for way more orgasms than you did!” she replied, suddenly pressing down firmly onto Fluttershy's member, taking the whole length with a single movement. “Ooooh, a little thicker than Mr.Cake, though!”

twow: (twitches)

Fluttershy: Something wrong?

twow: You have no idea.

Groaning half in pleasure and half in annoyance, Fluttershy leaned her head back against the couch again, closing her eyes. “Mmnh...this is gonna be a long night...”

Fallen: Which, mercifully, we don’t have to read further about.

Fluttershy: A blessing.

Draklox: Why do I get the feeling that you’re plotting some silly revenge against me Fallen?

Fallen: I’m perfectly happy with what Rarity exacted as revenge.

Draklox: I know you too well to believe that.

END CH.5

Goddamn. That took forever. Summer laziness syndrome really sucks.

Fallen: Thank GOD I can get out of here. I’m NOT happy about being stuck on this side of the screen.

twow: Fucking cry about it, why don’t you?

Fluttershy: Stop fighting, you two, and let’s go.

Rarity:  I’m feeling better now. And I don’t think I’ll drink with you ever again.

Fallen: Words of an intelligent being.

Draklox:  I’m not that bad. And it was an accident.

Rarity: I’m sure it was, darling. And I believe you’ve learned your lesson. Well, that’s the end of the chapter. Draklox, if you would be so kind.

Vinyl: Welp. If I’m not needed anymore, then...

(Vinyl blasts the doors again with her bass cannon.)

Draklox: Looks like I don’t need to. Well, I’m out of booze, so I’m out of here. Good luck twow and Fluttershy. If you ever need advice you know where to find me. (Leaves Sugarcube Corner)

Rarity: Alas, I have to go as well. Sweetie Belle wants to have a sleepover, and I must Crusader-proof the boutique. I’ll see all of you some other time. (Shuts off screen)

Fallen: Are you even physically capable of making an exit without shooting that thing off, Vinyl?

Vinyl: With any luck, you won’t be around to find out. Later! (walks out)

twow: I’m never building her another bass cannon AGAIN.

Pinkie: I should go too. Meet you back at Sugarcube Corner, Primey!

Fallen: Don’t wait up for me. I need to have a few words with these two.

Pinkie: Alright then. And good luck with your new relationship, T and Fluttershy! (follows Vinyl through the blasted doorway)

Fallen: Well. You two know what’s coming. A nice, long break with you trapped in this lab together.

twow: It’s only been like that for the last four chapters.

Fallen: It’s different this time, though. And you know why.

twow: You were here? (lightly smacked by Fluttershy) Fine, I’ll be serious. For now.

Fallen: twow... I’m just gonna level with you now. Fluttershy’s one of my closest and dearest friends. We’ve been to hell and back more times than I can count.

twow: Heh. Don’t I know it.

Fallen: She deserves someone just as kind as she is, and I really hope you’re gonna be that for her. I promise you, though, that if you make her regret this, “120 Days of Blueblood” will not match the hell I will put you through.

twow: Don’t I know that as well. But in all fairness, I’ll level with you as well. Am I ready? Maybe. Am I nervous? Hell yeah. But that’s not gonna keep me from treating this pony like the angel she is. And you can take my word for that.

Fallen: I hope I can. I really do. Fluttershy, you take good care of him. Don’t rough him up too much and con me out of a job.

Fluttershy: (smiling) I’ll try my hardest.

Fallen: That’s all I ask of you. I will probably never say this about another relationship like this, but... I really hope you two last. Have fun while Pinkie and I plot out the Zecora chapter. And don’t make Derpy too jealous.

(Fallen departs, leaving twow and Fluttershy alone in the lab.)

twow: That was unusually sentimental for him.

Fluttershy: But it was nice. You can’t deny that.

twow: Oh, of course not. It’s kinda funny though.

Fluttershy: What is?

twow: The fact that Fallen pretty much just said that he’s okay with this.

Fluttershy: What about it?

twow: That shows how much he trusts me. And I’m okay with this.

Fluttershy: And I am as well. Let’s rest before he throws the next chapter at us. (kisses him)

twow: Yeah. We’re gonna need it.

*BUZZ*

twow and Fluttershy: We’ve got break sign!

Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, Chapter 6

(Congrats on hitting the shortest chapter in the story.)

Thanks? I guess.

Welcome to chapter 6 of Fluttershy's Week-Long Foot-Long, and as Fallen’s said, this is the shortest chapter in the story.

(It also stars Zecora as Fluttershy’s victim.)

Even though it’s never unwilling, and half the time THEY want Fluttershy’s dick.

Either way, I don’t have a ton to say about this one, so let’s just hop into it. I bring to you Chapter Six of Fluttershy’s Week-Long Foot-Long.

Fluttershy: Are you sure this is a good idea?

twow: I think so.

Fluttershy: I thought you said that playing with emotions is dangerous.

twow: It IS. This is just to show what emotions that a pony is feeling.

Fluttershy: And...is it safe?

twow: Don’t know. Guess we’ll have to discover that by some experiments!

Fluttershy: Oh boy.

Fallen Prime: (from TV) Hello again, lovebirds. Ready for your first endeavor as a couple?

twow: Not that we really have a choice, but I guess so.

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Great, because it’s time for the Zecora chapter of “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long!”

Fallen: I’ll give you three guesses as to who I’m bringing in to help you. First two don’t count.

Fluttershy: It’s Zecora, right?

Fallen: Way to waste your one guess that mattered.

twow: The hell Fallen? Who the hell are you bringing in then?

Fallen: Somepony who probably deserved to be the first to know about the two of you.

(The lab doors open to reveal Derpy on the other side.)

Fallen: Don’t worry, all she knows is that you’re riffing with her. The explaining is up to you.

twow: Because THAT’S not gonna be an awkward conversation at all.

Derpy: (hugging twow) Have you two been in here the entire time?

twow: Yeah. Fallen’s a sadist.

Fallen: I haven’t stopped you from feeding yourself, have I?

Fluttershy: That’s because twow actually has had food in here.

Fallen: Well, Derpy, I’m sure you already know what story this is. Don’t worry, though, this isn’t your chapter, and it doesn’t look like you even HAVE a chapter. I just... have no idea how to get in contact with Zecora.

Derpy: Well, she’s not that easy to get a hold of.

twow: I can believe that.

Fallen: We’re basically all set to go on this end. Before we do, though... twow, Fluttershy, anything you’d like to say?

twow: Uh, I created a muffin that can open up black holes? (lightly smacked by Fluttershy)

Fallen: ...close enough.

Derpy: Um, okay?

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

All characters © Hasbro

twow: Aww. I thought they were owned by Disney.

Contains: Futashy. (Fluttershy with a dick, if you didn't know.) If you don't want to read about Fluttershy with a dick, close the page now.

Fluttershy: Every time I read that, I feel like he’s taunting us.

"Ooogh..." Fluttershy groaned softly as she finally regained conciousness, being woken up by various aches in her body.

Derpy: What happened to her?

twow: Last we saw, a drunk Pinkie Pie was about to fuck her. I can only assume that she fucked Fluttershy into unconsciousness.

 Blinking her eyes open, she glanced up at the ceiling, before lifting her head up, seeing that she was sprawled over the couch with her head resting on the arm. “I didn't think Pinkie would go that long..." she thought as she rubbed her aching forehead, slowly sitting up on the couch again and brushing her messy mane out from in front of her face.

twow: Yup. Never staying next to a drunk Pinkie.

From what she could hazily remember, she had fucked her pink friend countless times in pretty much every position imaginable, until she passed out of course.

Derpy and Fluttershy: (blushing)

twow: Do I even WANT to know?

Derpy and Fluttershy: You don’t.

Not that that would have stopped Pinkie.

Fluttershy: She kept GOING?!

twow: Holy...

With a soft sigh, the pegasus stood up from the couch, her wings spreading a bit and giving a couple soft flaps as she woke up more. "Mmnh...what time is it...?"

twow: ADVENTURE TIME! (smacked by both mares)

she thought as she rubbed her eyes, glancing around the room until she saw the time on a digital stereo, seeing that it was late morning.

"Oh, my...I really slept in..." she thought with a soft gulp, remembering that she had to feed her animals.

Fluttershy: At least that’s consistent.

Derpy: That’s the only thing that makes you...well YOU in this.

 Not wanting to just leave without checking on Pinkie first, she glanced around again, not seeing the pink Earth pony at first. Approaching the nearest door, she pushed it open to see that it was a bathroom, with the party pony laying over the edge of the bathtub, snoring happily.

With a soft giggle, the pegasus left the room, content knowing her pink friend was okay.

twow: She got laid. I’d be happy as well.

Fluttershy: (blushing)

Derpy: You okay there Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: Yes...

Glancing around, the main room was completely silent, everyone having left a long time ago once the rave was finished. Rather relieved that there was nobody there to see her in her current state, she headed toward the exit, grabbing a couple leftover sandwiches on the way out.

Derpy: Fluttershy’s the sandwich bandit!

twow: Sounds badass.

As Fluttershy stepped outside though, the colder air in combination with her other aches fading made her notice a new ache, feeling more like a soreness, located on her crotch. Glancing down between her legs, she blinked a bit in surprise, seeing that her limp member had been rubbed raw in various spots, giving the feeling of soreness on the skin.

twow: (wince)

Fluttershy: Painful?

twow: Believe it.

"That doesn't look good..." she thought, gulping softly. "I hope I still have some of that skin moisturizer left." she continue to herself as she flapped her wings lightly and took to the air, having to take a more secluded route back home so that nopony would see her.

Derpy: Why doesn’t she hide in a cloud?

twow: That was my thought! (hi-fives Derpy)

Arriving at her home, she quickly took to feeding her animals, rushing to get the job done as fast as she could, so that she could tend to her sore equipment, which still ached lightly. Once finished, she returned to her cottage and went into the cupboard full of various animal care materials, spotting the bottle of moisturizer and sighing in relief.

Fluttershy: At least that wasn’t too hard.

twow: That’s what sh- (smacked by both mares)

"Okay, whew...still have some...left?" she blinked a bit as she picked up the bottle, feeling that it was rather light for its size. Popping the cap open, she turned it upside down and shook it a bit, aiming the open end toward her other hoof, but nothing came out. "Oh, no...of all the times to be out of moisturizer."

Derpy: That is annoying.

twow: Uhh...

Derpy: Whatever you’re thinking, stop it now.

Sighing softly, Fluttershy tossed the bottle into the trash bin and glanced back into the cupboard, raising an eyebrow as she spotted a smaller glass bottle among the plastic ones, picking it up and glancing over the label. "Hm...oh! I was supposed to return this to Zecora a few days ago!" she remembered, recognizing the label now.

Fluttershy: What was even in there?

twow: “Zebra Cures for the Hermaphrodite.”

As she got up to go and get another dress from her closet, another idea popped into her head. "I could probably get some natural moisturizer from her as well...good thinking, Fluttershy." she giggled softly as she opened the closet door and grabbed a light-blue dress, quickly slipping it on before returning to the cupboard and picking up the glass bottle.

twow: Smart mare.

Derpy: It took her a minute to figure it out though.

"I'll be back later, Angel!" Fluttershy called out before heading out the front door and taking to the air once more, making the short flight over to the entrance of the Everfree Forest. Despite being into it a few times, the thought of going in yet again frightened her.

twow: You stared down a cockatrice. I think everything in there is scared of YOU.

 With a soft gulp, she walked past the first trees, watching as her surroundings darkened slowly.

Despite it being the middle of the day, it still managed to be somewhat dark from the high amount of trees, creating a canopy effect for all those below. The timid pegasus walked slowly along the dirt path, glancing back and forth while staying alert for anything that might try to attack her.

Derpy: “And then a bunny tackled her!”

Fluttershy: “Eep!”

twow: You two are nuts.

Once she reached Zecora's hut, she gently knocked on the door, glancing through the small window on it and seeing the zebra in question working on another of her herbal mixtures. Hearing the knocks, she turned toward the door and walked up to it, gently opening it and smiling warmly to the sight of the familiar pegasus.

twow: “Hello Fluttershy. Please, why have you come by?”

Derpy: Don’t.

Fluttershy: Please.

"Good day, Fluttershy my dear. What turn of events has brought you here?"

twow: Not bad rhyming so far. Let’s see if that sticks.

Zecora asked as she turned around and walked back into her hut, Fluttershy following her inside and closing the door behind her.

"Oh, um...I came here to return this to you." Fluttershy answered, setting down the bottle on the small table in front of her, smiling and blushing lightly. "Sorry for not returning it earlier..."

Derpy: “I was in the bathroom with it for a bit too long.” (smacked by Fluttershy)

twow: Whoa there. Settle down.

"It is no problem, Fluttershy. Without it, I can still get by." the zebra grinned, lightly picking up the bottle and placing it back in its spot near the rest of the small bottles. "A very nice dress you also wear. What is the occasion for such fashion flair?"

twow: (facedesks)

Derpy and Fluttershy: DON’T START THAT!

"W-Well...um..." Fluttershy's soft blush deepened to the sudden question; looking at the ground for a couple seconds in embarrassment. "That's uh...the other reason I came to see you, Zecora." she continued, slowly pulling her dress off and tossing it onto a hanger on the wall, revealing her new equipment to the zebra. "I need...a little skin moisturizer, if you have some."

Fluttershy: I just...presented it?!

twow: Why the fuck can’t you show Rainbow like that?

Derpy: Also, why didn’t you just say that you needed some moisturizer? You didn’t HAVE to show it!

"What is this?" Zecora blinked a bit in surprise, glancing between Fluttershy's legs at the limp member, seeing the few small spots of sore skin across the soft length. "A mare with a male endowment? It has been long since I've seen such an augment."

twow: Is it bad that I wanna know who else has had this?

Derpy: Yeah.

Fluttershy: Sorta.

"It's a long story...but apparently I was a little rough with it last night and now it's sore." Fluttershy spoke softly, still blushing a bit in embarrassment as the zebra inspected her member so eagerly. "Do you know how to make a natural skin moisturizer?"

twow: “Yes. I just need three golf balls, six pints of ketchup, nine carrots and a baked potato.”

"A moisturizing potion is a simple task. But there is also something I want to ask." The zebra replied with a nod, lifting her head back up and looking back towards Fluttershy's blushing face. "The semen of an enchanted mare such as yourself is quite valuable, in fact. So if you are willing...your essence I would like to extract."

All: Uhhhhhhhhhh...

twow: That’s a new way of asking for sex.

The pegasus raised an eyebrow to the strange proposition from the zebra, shaking her head softly before staring in confusion. "Uh...you...need my cum?" she asked, not really sure if she should be aroused or confused at this point. "What do you need it for, Zecora?"

Fluttershy: That’s a REALLY good question.

"Well, as I said...the semen of an enchanted hermaphrodite mare is very valuable and rare. When added to an advanced mixture, very powerful effects, it can procure." Zecora explained, walking over to a shelf full of jars and grabbing a medium-sized one, setting it down on the floor.

Derpy: Like what?!

Fluttershy: And do all of Zecora’s potions have semen in them?!

twow: I’m so glad that I create my own mixtures.

Derpy: Do YOU use semen?

twow: DERPY!

"Oh, I see." Fluttershy nodded softly, sitting down as she watched the zebra work. "Well, um...I'm kinda sore right now...could I get that moisturizer first?" she asked, glancing down at her sore member again.

twow: Sharing IS caring.

Fluttershy: Never use that in this context again.

Zecora nodded softly with a smile, picking up one of the bottles of liquid from another shelf. "Of course, my wonderful guest. For this extraction, you should certainly be feeling your best." she replied, working hastily to prepare a simple skin moisturizer for the pegasus, leaving the jar of viscous liquid in front of the pegasus.

Derpy: She works fast.

twow: The joke is RIGHT THERE.

Fluttershy: (taps twow and shakes her head)

"Thank you." Fluttershy spoke softly, returning the smile as she pulled the jar closer to her, examining the liquid quickly before lifting the jar and turning it upside down, pouring the liquid over her soft member, making sure to coat the entire length.

twow: I need to get me some of that.

Fluttershy: Why?

twow: Emergencies?

She shivered softly as it gave a cold feeling over the sensitive skin, causing the soft length to twitch softly; sending a few tingles through her lower regions as the skin quickly healed.

Zecora pushed a small towel over towards Fluttershy as well; the pegasus picking it up and gently rubbing her member clean, glancing down at it again to see that the skin was completely healed, as if her crazy night with Pinkie had never happened.

Derpy: That’s Zecora for you.

twow: I need to get her in this lab.

"Oh wow...that was fast. Thank you, Zecora." she added with a cute smile.

"Such a simple potion is no problem to mix, yet so much, it can fix." Zecora replied with a warm smile in reply, glancing down between Fluttershy's legs at her newly-healed member, seeing that it was slightly stiff now. "I take it you are ready then? If not, just tell me when."

Fluttershy: We’re not ready!

twow: The sex is happening a lot faster than it did last chapter.

"Oh, um...I'm ready, I guess." Fluttershy nodded softly, her cute blush returning as she leaned back against the wall behind her and spread her legs slightly, giving the zebra full access to her goods. "Go ahead, Zecora."

twow: If I ever saw that...

Fluttershy: (furiously blushes)

twow: Oops. Can’t say things like that anymore.

Derpy: Am I missing something?

With a nod in return, Zecora got right to work; getting down on the floor between Fluttershy's legs, pulling over a small jar with her and leaving it beside the pegasus. She brought her snout down low and gently nuzzled the two hefty yellow balls, inhaling their heavy musk, causing her own striped cheeks to blush lightly from the arousing scent.

twow: It smelled like crushed dreams.

Fluttershy: twow!

twow: Tasted even better. (smacked by Fluttershy)

 Meanwhile her hoof stroked Fluttershy's length, causing it to stiffen further and twitch lightly against the soft hoof.

"Mmmnh..." The hermaphrodite pegasus moaned quietly from the soft teasing to her male bits, leaning her head back against the wall while her shaft grew and hardened against Zecora's hoof, quickly reaching its full size, throbbing and twitching more as a bead of precum formed on the tip.

twow: She instantly came.

Derpy: Like we’re gonna get out of this that easily.

Her wings had spread out nicely along the wall as well, twitching softly with her member.

"Very good..." Zecora thought, becoming slightly aroused herself from the wonderful scent, bringing her snout back up as her tongue slipped past her lips, dragging up Fluttershy's length until it reached the tip, lapping up the drop of sweet and salty liquid from the tip.

twow: That explains the sea-salt ice cream in Kingdom Hearts. (smacked by Nocturnal)

Fluttershy: You deserved that one.

 Her hoof came to rest around the base of the shaft as she glanced up at the pegasus with a lustful grin. "A very wonderful taste...not a single drop, will I waste."

twow: “This is why I needed a fire hydrant.”

Fluttershy: What?

Derpy: Let’s take a break before this, guys.

Fallen: (from TV) Wasting no time this time around, it seems.

twow: No kidding.

Fluttershy: I’m happy for that, though.

Derpy: Last chapter dragged on?

twow: We had to take TWO breaks before the sex started.

Derpy: Wow.

Fallen: I guess that’s one complaint you can field. The pacing’s inconsistent.

twow: Like a racecar running out of gas.

Derpy: That was an...interesting comparison.

Pinkie: (from TV) So when were you planning on telling her?

twow: Next year, give or take a few weeks.

Fallen: I honestly hope you’re joking. You LIVE with her, twow.

twow: I also have many items that erase memories. (smacked by Fluttershy)

Fluttershy: Be serious, twow.

twow: Alright. I’ll give it five minutes.

Derpy: Okay, I’ve been patient, but I gotta know! What’s this thing that you’ve been avoiding to tell me?

twow: Well, though the last few chapters, jokes, riffing, a movie or two and Fallen freaking the hell out on one occasion, Fluttershy and I figured out that we have feelings for each other. To be fair though, Fluttershy knew for a while.

Fluttershy: And he finally caught on in the last chapter after just about everyone was done hinting at it.

Derpy: So...you two are dating now?

twow: I guess you could call it th- (ducks swing by Fluttershy) Yes. Yes,we are.

Derpy: (eyes closed) Hmm...

twow: (cocks head) What...

Fallen: ...that’s not jealousy, is it?

Derpy: (opens eyes and tackles twow)

Fluttershy: I don’t think so?

Fallen: Well, with a reaction like that, I only see this ending in either congratulations or a deathmatch.

Derpy: Why did it take so long?

twow: Beca- wait, what?

Derpy: Do you remember when we were riffing “Momma Fluttershy?”

twow: How in the hell could I FORGET.

Derpy: When Fluttershy broke down during it, I could see that you wanted to comfort her, but you didn’t know how.

twow: But, I’ve been like that to any of my pony friends.

Derpy: But I was looking at your eyes. And I could tell.

twow: ...huh.

Fluttershy: And...you don’t mind?

Derpy: Of course not! I could tell that twow’s been feeling kinda lonely here, when he’s not riffing of course. And we’ve talked about my relationship with the Doctor a lot. I’m happy that he’s found somepony that wants to be with him.

Fallen: Let’s see how long it takes for somepony to actually take issue with this...

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

"Mm, thanks..." Fluttershy smiled softly back down at the zebra, still blushing cutely from the soft pleasure.

twow: There’s the cute part of THIS chapter.

Fluttershy: That wasn’t in the last one.

twow: Shh!!

 She watched as Zecora moved her snout back down again, gently slurping the tip of Fluttershy's member a couple times before bringing the first few inches past her lips and into her hot mouth, sliding her tongue along the underside of the tip at the same time.

twow: Is it a bad thing that I really have no jokes for this?

Derpy: Burned out?

twow: That happened like three chapters back.

 "Oooh...!" the pegasus moaned happily as her eager member throbbed against the slick tongue; her hoof instinctively moving up and gently pressing onto Zecora's head, as if trying to push her down further.

twow: “Choke on it, bitch!” (smacked by Fluttershy)

As Zecora suckled on the pegasus' member, her hoof moved down further and began to gently fondle the hefty orbs hanging below, feeling their weight as she slowly took inch after inch of the twitching length into her mouth. Her tongue continued to expertly tease the underside, only procuring more of the pegasus' warm seed, quickly being lapped up by the zebra's tongue.

Derpy: How much was coming out?

Fluttershy: I don’t know. It changes every chapter.

"Aahh...!" Fluttershy panted and moaned in bliss, her hoof pressing slightly more firmly against Zecora's head as she leaned her head back a bit, her cheeks blushing even deeper from the zebra's expert oral work. "Nnh...you're good...Zecora!" she moaned, her hips instinctively bucking up slightly against the hot mouth servicing her throbbing length.

twow: That makes sense if she’s needed to do this BEFORE...

The zebra grinned mentally to the compliment as she kept up her work, easily taking roughly 3/4 of Fluttershy's length into her mouth, keeping her lips pursed tightly around it as she bobbed her head up and down steadily.

Fluttershy: Wow.

Derpy: Impressive?

twow: Kinky. (smacked by both mares)

 Her hoof continued to fondle and massage the pegasus' balls, while starting to lightly tease the pair of moist lips below, only adding to the large pleasure.

Biting her lip gently now, Fluttershy continued to lightly buck her hips against Zecora's mouth, feeling her orgasm rapidly approaching now; her member throbbing harder and releasing copious amounts of precum, only to be quickly lapped up by the zebra's expert tongue.

twow: That can’t be healthy.

Derpy: Source of protein!

twow: Please never say that again.

 "Ooh...I'm gonna c-cum...Zecora!" she groaned, her wings twitching and flapping lightly against the wall.

Hearing this, Zecora doubled her efforts; pushing down even further and sinking the pegasus' member into her throat while making smaller, faster head bobs, only pushing Fluttershy's pleasure even higher.

twow: And then she fell.

Derpy: Silly. We have wings!

twow: (facepalm)

 The feeling of the hot throat around her member easily pushed her over the edge; her hoof pushing Zecora's head a bit harder as she cried out blissfully, her member twitching hard and beginning to gush thick ropes of seed down the zebra's throat.

Fluttershy: That was a...interesting way to put it.

Zecora quickly pulled back slightly, letting Fluttershy's cum splash into her mouth and all over her tongue; groaning softly in bliss from the wonderful flavor of it. She gulped a couple times before letting the sticky liquid pool in her mouth and cheeks, collecting it until Fluttershy's orgasm slowed to a stop.

twow: So, she was waterfalling in her mouth.

Derpy: Oh, that’s awful, twow.

 She slowly pulled her head back, pursing her lips tightly as to not lose a drop of the precious fluids, before leaning over toward the jar and opening her lips slightly, letting all of the herm pegasus' cum flow out into the jar.

"Oh, Zecora...that was so nice..." Fluttershy panted, smiling at the zebra as her afterglow came over her, watching the zebra fill the jar with the sticky cum. “Is...that enough for you?“

Fluttershy: I’m willing to bet that is isn’t.

twow: Either that, or Zecora really wants to bang you.

“Mmm, a decent amount you have supplied...but it seems you still have more to provide.” Zecora replied with a playful smirk, licking her lips of the pegasus' essence as she raised her hoof again and stroked it along Fluttershy's member, feeling it still throbbing lightly.

twow: It was pulsing to her heartbeat.

Derpy: I wonder if it can be used to tell your pulse.

“Nnnh...I-I'm kinda tired, Zecora...” Fluttershy groaned softly from the soft touch to her shaft, a drop of her warm seed forming on the tip again. She was somewhat tired, but at the same time, didn't want to disappoint the zebra that had treated her so well. “I can come back later...if you really need some more.”

twow: Wait, she’s too tired to go a second round?

Fluttershy: I was able to go two times in all the other chapters!

Derpy: I think the plot is cooking something up.

Zecora lightly shook her head though, sitting up and gently pressing against Fluttershy's body, nuzzling her snout as well. “Now my dear Fluttershy, do not brood...with this mixture, your strength shall be renewed.”

Derpy: Warm milk solves everything!

twow: Uh...

Fluttershy: Does it really work like that, twow?

twow: Um, maybe?

 she added with a wink, giving Fluttershy's stiff length a gentle squeeze before returning to the shelf of bottles, picking up a medium-sized flask with a cork stuck in it, bringing it over to the pegasus and setting it down in front of her. “A swig or two of this drink for you, and the extraction shall continue.”

twow: Not that I don’t trust Zecora, but I don’t know if I would drink that.

Fluttershy: Well, I wouldn’t want to be rude...

twow: I guess.

Fluttershy: That’s part of the reason I help you test your experiments.

“Uhm...if you say so.” Fluttershy nodded softly, grasping the flask with both her hooves and biting the cork, pulling it out firmly before pressing the flask to her lips and taking a couple gulps of the strange-tasting liquid. “Mmmnh, blegh, this tastes awful.” she thought, making a funny face as she set the flask back down, though gasping quietly as it quickly began to affect her.

twow: “Eww! It tastes like piss and nachos!”

Fluttershy: (gags)

Derpy: Fluttershy?!

twow: (quickly grabs black hole trashcan and holds it under Fluttershy) Sorry, Flutters.

Fluttershy: (barfs)

twow: I’m gonna pay for that, aren’t I?

Fluttershy: So much.

Zecora watched with a lustful smirk as Fluttershy moaned quietly, blushing again and leaning back against the wall as she felt her lust return quickly; her member throbbing and twitching once more as another drop of pre escaped the tip.

twow: She gave you natural Viagra.

Derpy: Impressive?

With midclosed eyes, she panted softly while her wings spread wide and twitched as well, glancing over toward the zebra, seeing her lightly rubbing a hoof between her legs.

“Oh...Zecora, I feel so...horny...”

Fluttershy: I think she’s feeling th same.

twow: Oh ma- (smacked by Fluttershy)

Derpy: Can’t say whatever you want now, huh?

twow: It’s a burden that I’m willing to bear.

Fluttershy slowly spoke, glancing back down between her own legs again; her eyes widening in surprise as she saw her member, now noticeably bigger than before, and slowly growing longer and thicker before her eyes.

Derpy: Is that supposed to happen?!

twow: It’s a curse within a curse.

Fluttershy: So, it’s a curseception?

twow: ...you make me proud.

 “Oh...oh my! What's happening?” she gasped, surprised and intrigued by the growth at the same time, watching as it continued to grow and grow, becoming a darker shade of yellow as it grew.

twow: She’s really gotta piss now.

Fluttershy: Information that could have not been said.

“Mmnh...one of my unique mixtures, providing much fun...sexual growth and aphrodisidac, all in one.”

twow: Huh.

Fluttershy: That’s a thing now?

Derpy: Hey Fluttershy, maybe you should get that for tw-

twow: DERPY!

Fluttershy and Derpy: (giggle and hi-five)

Zecora answered, sighing happily as she continued to lightly masturbate, Fluttershy not being the only one aroused by the sight of the growth. However, it wasn't only her member that was growing; the two hefty orbs below were swelling as well, plumping up nicely with the pegasus' seed.

twow: They started to look like beach balls.

Derpy: It’s time to go swimming!

The growth finally stopped after a couple more minutes, Fluttershy panting softly and lightly stroking her twitching length with one hoof, now a staggering 20 inches long, with a couple extra inches of girth as well; a size that would rival even the bigger stallions.

twow: Holy damn.

Fallen: (from TV) ...I don’t know how to react to that, so I’ll just say you should probably be glad Vinyl’s not back in there.

“Ooh...Zecora...I...I need to cum...so badly...” she softly spoke as she glanced towards the zebra again, the aphrodisiac easily overwhelming her frail body.

Derpy: She instantly came.

Fluttershy: I WISH.

twow: Now’s a good time to move on.

Her massive member throbbed in need, oozing a trail of precum down its length; the two orbs below now resting against the floor from their newfound size, slightly bigger than tennis balls, and filled to the brim with the pegasus' hot essence.

twow: This is about to get really kinky.

Derpy: Should we smack him? He is right.

Fluttershy: Hmmm, let’s do it anyway.

(Derpy and Fluttershy smack twow)

twow: Mares...

Zecora licked her lips softly, bringing her hoof up from her warm slit before turning around and sautnering over to the cauldron in the middle of the room. Lifting her hooves up over the rim, she leaned onto it, giving Fluttershy a wonderful view of her plump rear as her tail brushed out of the way. “Come then, I'm open wide...plunge yourself deep inside!”

Fluttershy: “But I forgot the flashlight!”

Derpy: “No matter! We need to go deeper!”

Upon seeing the zebra presenting herself in such a fashion, the well-endowed pegasus' eyes widened slightly, her twitching wings flapping softly to help her get back up to her feet again. She was already feeling energy rushing back into her body from the potion she drank,

Derpy: So it was also an energy drink.

twow: That potion has everything!

and in just a moment, she was already firmly mounted on top of the zebra, her hooves pressed over Zecora's, while her huge member pressed firmly against the zebra's wide rump, throbbing eagerly against the firm cheeks.

twow: So cute you could pinch them. (smacked by Fluttershy)

“Mmnh..h-here it comes, Zecora...” Fluttershy softly spoke, panting softly as she pulled her hips back, sliding her huge member back until the tip of it pressed against the first opening she could feel, before giving a firm thrust forward.

Derpy: And then two thrusts back.

“Aahh...!” Zecora cried, her eyes widening from the mix of pain and pleasure that resulted from the lusty pegasus' member pushing firmly into her snug rear. Zebra males were roughly this size in length, but not as thick as Fluttershy was, leaving the zebra unprepared for the sudden penetration.

twow: I’m learning all sorts of things today!

Fluttershy: Can’t we just do this as homework?

 Her hooves gripped the rim of the cauldron a little tighter as she immediately felt the monstrous shaft push deeper inside, Fluttershy eager to roughly pound the tight hole.

“Oooh, yeahh...y-you're so tight!” the futa pegasus moaned, blushing deeper as she kept pushing her hips forward, quickly sinking about 15 of her 20 inches into the zebra's rear, before pulling back again and beginning to steadily thrust her hips back and forth, panting and moaning softly.

twow: That’s...impressive?

Derpy: Let’s say yes and move on.

Already loads of her pre were smearing along Zecora's insides, only helping the thick member slide back and forth.

Meanwhile, Zecora was still recovering from the rough penetration, though most of the pain had quickly faded into pleasure as it was followed up immediately by the pegasus' thrusting.

Fluttershy: Can’t all pain fade into pleasure?

twow: If that was the case, then Fallen would have no enjoyment in us sitting in here.

 Her already moist nether lips were dripping slightly by now, a couple drops of her warm essence hitting the floor below her. “Nnnh, wonderful, my lusty pegasus...it has been long since I've felt such bliss!”

Fluttershy was too enraptured with the wonderful pleasure coursing through her to hear the zebra clearly;

Derpy: All she could hear was the smacking sound of her d-

twow: Hey Derpy! Stop now!

 her hips still firmly bucking against the zebra's plump rear while more and more of her thick precum oozed from her throbbing member. She could also feel her swollen balls slapping against Zecora's moist slit, wetting them with some of the warm juices flowing from it.

twow: This like an ad for some sort of juice.

Derpy: “Pegasus Juices!” 100% natural!

Fluttershy: That was nasty, Derpy.

“Ooooh...s-so nice...Zecora!” she moaned, her mouth hanging open slightly as she panted and moaned from the huge pleasure.

As the pegasus continued her thrusting, her wings flapped steadily to help put more power behind each thrust, smacking her crotch against Zecora's plump rear each time. Said zebra was having to hold tighter to the cauldron as to not be pushed into it from the lusty pegasus' rough thrusting,

twow: But she fell in anyway.

Fluttershy: Surprise bathtime.

her hooves tightly grasping the rim as she panted heavily. The tight insides only seemed to squeeze tighter around Fluttershy's shaft, as if trying to milk her orgasm even faster.

Derpy: Even faster?

twow: I need to go write these notes down for Sonic.

“Aaah...ooohh, yes...” The futa pegasus continued to pant and moan in bliss, closing her eyes as her hooves grasped Zecora's flanks even tighter; her wings flapping slightly harder as her thrusting became more erratic, pounding her crotch against the zebra's rump even harder still.

twow: Zecora woke up the next morning with bruises all over her ass.

Derpy: Ow...

 She could already feel her orgasm rapidly approaching; loads of her warm precum flooding the zebra's insides while her member throbbed hard, releasing a glob of precum with each throb it gave. “Nnh...I'm gonna...c-cum!”

twow: “Why are you going all slow and steady?/Hurry up and cum on already!” (smacked by both mares)

Fluttershy: I’ll give you an “A” for effort though.

Groaning in pleasure and slight annoyance, Zecora held tightly to the cauldron with one hoof while reaching back with her other, starting to firmly rub over her moist nether lips; her own orgasm still a ways off compared to the incredibly horny pegasus'. Her potion had a greater effect than she had thought though, providing much higher levels of arousal to Fluttershy than other ponies she had given it to.

twow: Hmm. Why didn’t she drink it herself?

Fluttershy: Maybe it was only for mares?

Derpy: That makes sense. Who knows what would have happened if she had drank it?!

The pegasus cried out blissfully as she quickly reached her orgasm, forcing her swollen length as deep inside the zebra's backdoor as she could, before it unleashed a powerful stream of her essence, rapidly filling Zecora with loads of the steamy liquid.

Derpy: It was like a fire hose.

Fluttershy: That’s a LOT.

 “Ooh, Zecora...” she moaned, panting heavily as her hips continued to lightly buck back and forth; loads of her cum gushing out around her member and splashing all over her crotch and hefty orbs.

“Nnh, such a load, you do astound...you're making me so big and round!” Zecora panted, her cheeks lightly blushing as she felt her belly distend with the pegasus' seed, pressing against the cauldron as she continued to lean against it.

twow: Damn. Are you sure I can’t experiment on you, Flu-

Fluttershy: NO.

Derpy: I wouldn’t push the topic, twow.

 Before she could be filled any more though, she lightly pushed back against the pegasus, sliding her back a bit before pulling her hips forward in a quick motion, sliding the spasming member out of her; seed splashing all over the floor as the pegasus' powerful orgasm continued still.

twow: “Now you’re going to make a mess!”

Derpy: “Putting it back inside me might be best.”

With a surprised gasp, Fluttershy fell forward against the cauldron, holding onto it while glancing down at her zebra friend, seeing her quickly pulling over a large jar and placing it beneath her throbbing length, letting her steamy essence slowly fill the jar.

twow: “Turning this shit into a milkshake later.” (ducks swing by Fluttershy)

“Oooh, that was...s-so wonderful, Zecora...” Fluttershy softly spoke between her own exhausted panting, feeling her powerful afterglow starting just as her orgasm died down; the large jar below her shaft nearly overflowing with her seed.

Derpy: Well, I guess it works.

Fluttershy: You THINK?

“That, I am glad to hear. Your large output, I very much endear.” Zecora replied with a soft smile up at the pegasus, gently patting her huge member as she pulled the jar away, hoisting it up and placing it on the nearby counter. “Such a vast amount of seed you did provide. A hefty repayment, I shall decide!”

twow: What’s it gonna be, more sex?

Fluttershy: If that’s the case, I wanna break.

Fallen: (from TV) This suddenly took a weird turn, didn’t it?

twow: The hell do YOU think?

Derpy: Part of me really wants to know just where she’s gonna put all that semen.

Fluttershy: I’d rather not know...

Fallen: And that’s ignoring the fact that her last statement implies she’s gonna draw MORE just for shits with a side order of giggles.

Fluttershy: (shudders and latches onto twow)

Derpy: Ya know, I doubt that Zecora wouldn’t try to help her.

Fallen: Since when were YOU an expert on zebra behavior?

Derpy: It was just a thought, Fallen.

twow: Ya know, if that potion really does exist, then Zecora would make a killing.

Fallen: Pony Viagra. That is all.

twow: I think I made that joke like three times already.

Fluttershy: At least tell me if the sex is over yet...

Fallen: It... might be? I think I cut this chapter up weird.

twow: Huh. That’s a new one. Ready then, girls?

Derpy: Yep!

Fluttershy: I guess...

twow: That’s the spirit!

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Fluttershy blushed and smiled in return, before shaking her head softly. “That's okay, Zecora. That wonderful moisturizer was payment enough.” she giggled softly, getting back onto her feet again as her wings slowly folded back again.

twow: That was a hell of a wingboner.

Fluttershy: I won’t be flying for days.

 “Speaking of which...this isn't permanent, is it?” she asked, glancing down between her legs at her massive member, still somewhat hard but quickly softening in the wake of her huge orgasm.

twow: Because this story would take a whole new meaning if it does.

“The potent mixture does very well empower, but it should wear off within the hour.” Zecora nodded softly, watching as the pegasus slipped her dress back on, making sure that it covered up her soft member.

Fluttershy: Aww.

twow: O_O

Fluttershy: Please tell me I didn’t say that out loud.

twow: Okay.You didn’t say-(smacked by Fluttershy)

“Thanks, Zecora.” Fluttershy smiled in return as she opened the front door again. “Um...if you ever need more, just...come over and ask, okay?” she added with a soft blush, keeping her cute smile toward the zebra.

twow: And then Zecora melted.

Derpy: Can that happen?

twow: Have you SEEN her smile? It’s just like-

Fluttershy: (smiles)

twow: HGN.

Derpy: Oh.

Fluttershy: Works every time.

“Of course, my dear. Though I suspect this amount will last much of the year.” Zecora replied with a chuckle, patting the side of the full jar on the counter. Fluttershy giggled softly as well and nodded, before waving goodbye to her zebra friend and exiting the little hut.

twow: We just had us some interspecies sex right there.

Derpy: Do you even have any room to talk?

twow: It’s not like we’ve actually had sex, Derpy.

Derpy: But that doesn’t’ mean you won-

Fluttershy: Story!

“Mm, that was a lot of fun...” she thought with a happy sigh as her wings flapped softly, gliding her over the dirt road back toward Ponyville. “I should visit Zecora again some time, if she's going to have wonderful potions like that.”

Derpy: Why didn’t she just grab a bottle?

twow: No idea.

she thought with a slight grin. Upon arriving at her home, she removed the dress again and got right into the shower, feeling quite dirty not only from the party last night, but from all of her fun with Zecora as well.

Fluttershy: Yeah. Fun.

twow: Lots of it.

As she exited the shower though, she heard a knocking at her front door; quickly approaching the front window still wrapped in a towel, glancing outside and gasping softly as she saw two royal guards standing outside her door. “Oh no...what do they want?”

Fluttershy: twow, don’t.

twow: Fine.

she thought, quickly zipping over to the closet and putting on the first dress she could grab, before running back over to the front door and opening it, smiling nervously at the two guards. “What can I help you with today, uhm, sirs?”

Derpy: “I ran out of muffins.”

twow: And hot water. Thanks for that.

“Greetings. Are you busy right now, ma'am?” One of the guards asked, glancing down at the nervous pegasus.

“Well, uh...not really.” Fluttershy responded, lightly shaking her head. “What do you two need from me?”

Derpy: “It’s not much.”

twow: “We just need you to spread them.” (smacked by Fluttershy)

“The princess has arrived here to visit you, Fluttershy.” the other guard answered, before both of them stepped aside, revealing the familiar sun princess, smiling warmly as she walked up the dirt path to Fluttershy's cottage. The pegasus' eyes widened in surprise, though she tried to keep an inconspicuous smile as the regal alicorn approached.

twow: Oh god!

Derpy: Is it the princesses turn now?

Fluttershy: That’ll probably be in a later chapter.

twow: Don’t jinx us Flutters!

“Greetings, my dear Fluttershy. How are you on this fine day?” Celestia asked as she reached the door, smiling down at the timid pegasus.

twow: “Nervous as fuck. You?”

“O-Oh, I'm..f-fine, princess.” Fluttershy stammered, smiling nervously in return, shivering lightly as well as she backed up a bit into the doorway. “C-come in, princess. What brings you here today...?”

Fluttershy: “I just wanted to see how that curse was going for you.”

“Many thanks, my dear.” The princess spoke softly as she entered the cottage, having to lean her head down a bit to fit through the door. “I simply haven't visited the kindest pony around in such a while, I thought it would be nice to see her.” she explained, keeping her warm smile.

twow: Don’t even preTEND to forget about that dick you gave her.

Derpy: She just might not bring it up.

“Is she serious?” Fluttershy thought with a confused look, though going along with what Celestia said for now. “Uhm, okay...shall I prepare us some tea?” she asked, glancing over toward the kitchen.

twow: “I’ve got Sleepy Time.”

“That would be wonderful.” Celestia replied with a nod, before walking over to the couch in the small living room and delicately sitting on it, watching as Fluttershy hurried off to the kitchen, returning in a few minutes with a teapot in her mouth and two saucers with teacups on her wings.

twow: Impressive.

Fluttershy: We can do a lot of things with our wings.

The pegasus quickly set the two saucers down, and filled both cups with the steaming tea, before sitting down beside the princess, smiling nervously still.

“So...um, how's life in Canterlot, princess?” Fluttershy asked, lightly lifting her teacup and sipping from it , trying not to shiver too much in her nervousness while Celestia's cup levitated up near her own snout.

Derpy: “Oh, just waiting for one of those “parties” you had with my sister.”

“Better than usual, believe it or not.” the princess giggled softly before sipping her tea gracefully. “Speaking of Canterlot, I also came here to invite you to a party at the castle this Saturday.” she added, her horn glowing softly before a scroll teleported in front of her, and levitated gently down onto the table.

Fluttershy: Like, at the end of the week?

Derpy: Coincidence?

twow: I think NOT.

“Oh...?” Fluttershy's eyebrows raised a bit as she glanced at the scroll. “You're inviting me...to one of those high-class Canterlot parties?”

twow: Better ask why she isn’t inviting the rest of your friends.

“But of course, my little pony. I thought you would be a wonderful addition to the guests attending.” Celestia replied, before taking another sip of her tea, smiling warmly at the pegasus. Reaching for the letter, Fluttershy quickly unfurled it and began reading the fancy handwriting that covered it.

twow: “Princess, this handwriting is too fancy!” (smacked by AJ)

Derpy: I think you mean HOOFwriting. (smacked by AJ)

Fluttershy: ...I’m just not gonna say anything.

        Dearest Fluttershy,

                I, Princess Celestia of Equestria, do cordially invite you to Canterlot Castle in Canterlot, for a social gathering this upcoming Saturday. Many of the Canterlot elite will be in attendance, along with some visitors from the Gryphon kingdom. If you choose to attend, formal attire will be required.

twow: That takes care of hiding the dick.

Fluttershy: Glad I can get THAT off my chest.

Derpy: But not from between your legs. (smacked by Fluttershy)

        Regards,

                Princess Celestia

“Oh, I would love to, Princess.” Fluttershy smiled up in return to the alicorn, her wings fluttering lightly in joy, though at the same time, she was somewhat wary of the princess who had just harshly punished her less than a week ago.

All: AS YOU SHOULD BE!

"Wonderful, Fluttershy." Celestia replied, lightly sipping her tea until the cup was empty, before setting it down on the saucer again. "I'm sure the Canterlot elite will greatly enjoy your presence. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must return to Canterlot." she added, standing up from the couch and spreading her huge wings. "I apologize for having to leave so quickly."

twow: “I just came to troll the shit out of you.”

"Oh...it's no problem, Princess. I know how busy you can get." Fluttershy giggled lightly, setting her teacup down as well before standing up with the alicorn. "I'll see you at the party then, I guess?"

Derpy: “Unless I come baaaaaack!”

twow: This story couldn’t be THAT cruel...

"Of course, my dear." Celestia nodded, before walking over toward the door. "See you there!" she added, smiling back toward the pegasus before she left, walking back down the road toward her carriage as the two guards followed.

Fluttershy: “Okay bai!”

twow: “Phew! Now to go take care of this raging boner!”

 “Hehe, you've still got it, Celestia! Still striking fear into ponies even without the Royal Canterlot Voice.” she thought with a soft giggle.

twow: Did you FORGET about the DICK?!

Derpy: (whispering) Does he really get this upset about this?

Fluttershy: (whispering) Even more since we started dating.

"Whew....that was close." Fluttershy sighed in relief once she closed the door, glancing out the window as the guards lifted Celestia's carriage and pulled it away into the sky. "Why did she pick me, out of all ponies, though?" she thought, still rather confused about why Celestia seemed to be so quick to forget about her punishment.

Derpy: Why does this story not give you enough credit?

Fluttershy: Probably because of the sex.

“Hm...oh well. If she was telling me the truth, then I should be back to normal by the time that party happens.” The pegasus continued as she returned to the small table and took both the saucers again, going to the kitchen to wash them.

twow: Balance that shit again.

Fluttershy: Uh...

Derpy: We better let this one go.

“I still haven't told Rainbow Dash though...I don't want to keep this a secret from her when all of my other friends know about it.” she thought, sighing lightly.

twow: Three guesses as to who’s in the next chapter, and the first two don’t count.

End Ch.6

Fluttershy: Phew.

Derpy: Time to go?

twow: Time to go.

Fallen: (from TV) Six down, four to go, three after that. How are we feeling?

Fluttershy: That was a short one.

twow: I think we deserved a short one.

Fallen: Trying desperately to withhold comment...

twow: I hate you sometimes.

Derpy: Ya know, even though that weird thing happened, it was still kinda boring.

twow: That seems to be the main drive of this fic. It starts out with Fluttershy needing to visit a friend, she does, something occurs to show off her dick and then they fuck.

Fluttershy: It’s virtually the same thing, different pony.

Fallen: Until you bring student roleplay into the mix.

twow: Yeah. That happened. Either way Fallen, I think you can let Derpy out now.

Fallen: Do I have to? You’ve been in here for AGES, and I’m sure you have plenty of catching up to do-

Pinkie: (from TV) Just let her out, Primey!

Fallen: Fine, jeez.

(The lab doors open to allow Derpy to exit.)

Derpy: (hugging twow and Fluttershy) Now, you two help each other through this, alright?

twow: Of course.

Derpy: And Fluttershy...(whispers in her ear, causing the pegasus to giggle)

twow: Part of me is rather worried about this.

Derpy: Alright, I’ll see you both later!

Fluttershy: Bye Derpy.

(Derpy exits the lab, the lab doors slamming shut behind her.)

Pinkie: What do you think she said?

Fallen: My guess? Fuel for tickle torture.

twow: It’ll never work!

Fluttershy: Oh really?

twow: ...damn it, Derpy.

Fallen: Wait, I was RIGHT?

Fluttershy: Maaybe.

twow: Okay, now I’m might be slightly afraid.

Fallen: Eh. Tickle torture is still torture. I might want to stick around to see-

Pinkie: Is that all you think about?

Fallen: ...should it not be?

twow: Pinkie, you’re assuming that he has a so- hey! That tickled!

Fluttershy: Wow. She was right.

twow: ...you two can leave at anytime, you know.

Pinkie: Aww, don’t want to spend quality time with your good friend Pinkie Pie?

Fallen: Pinkie, he couldn’t get Derpy out the door fast enough, and he LIVES with her. At any rate, we probably should leave these two to their own devices.

*BUZZ*

twow and Fluttershy: We’ve got break sign!

Pin the Tail on the Griffin

I swear, I must love doing these things to myself.

So as you know I riffed “Marshmallow Holes” a story by a rather infamous writer on Fimfic, Bronystories. After I finished it up, we actually got to talking a bit. (Found out he’s a Fluttershy fan also yay!) And I had asked him if he ever wanted to riff with me and if there were any other stories that he wanted to see me personally tackle.

Well, there was. And it’s this one. And I really wish I had done my research on this story, because it has two factors in it that I have trouble viewing or riffing.

Not only is it a gay clopfic, but it’s a RULE 63 clopfic. I have NEVER done one of those before, read, reviewed, or riffed.

That’s changing today though. And hoo boy, this is gonna be a tough one.

My friends, here’s Pin the Tail on the Griffin.

Pinkie: I never knew that there was so many neat things in here T!

twow: Yeah. And a lot of them aren’t done yet.

Pinkie: So?

twow: You could get hurt.

Pinkie: Aw, silly! Look at this little red and white ball? Is it dangerous?

twow: If you call the possibility of being pulled into another dimension safe, then no.

Rainbow Dash (from TV): That does what again?!

twow: I was fuming about Mykan’s issues with dimensions, so I was messing around with dimensional gates.

Dash: And how did that go?

twow: Got myself trapped in a different dimension for three hours.

Pinkie: Was it fun?

twow: Everyone was a tree.

Pinkie: Oh...

Dash: Sounds...not fun at all. But hey, I think you’ve got company coming twow.

twow: Really? Which pony is it gonn-

(A female griffon flies down the stairs and lands in front of Pinkie and twow.)

twow: You know what, I don’t know whether to be surprised or terrified.

Dash: twow, meet my old friend Gilda!

twow: I thought you two weren’t friends.

Gilda: She found me a little later and asked if she could cash in a favor.

twow: And that was...

Gilda: To meet you. I’m not very happy of her being here though.

Pinkie: Aww Gilda! It’s a new day! Can’t we be friends, or at least try?

twow: I think you two are gonna need some bonding time.

Dash: And I have the perfect way!

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

twow: Because OF COURSE.

Gilda: Um, Dash? What’s going on!

Pinkie: Silly! Dash trapped us all in here and now we get to read a bad fanfic!

Gilda: ...what?

twow: Don’t worry. I’m like a pro at this now. What is it Dash?

Dash: Ever heard of a story called “Pin the Tail on the Griffin?”

twow: Annnnd now I don’t wanna have eyes.

Pinkie: You’ve heard of this one T?

twow: I’ve HEARD of it. I don’t know what it entails, but there’s one thing that we should be afraid of.

Gilda: And that is?

twow: It was written by Bronystories.

Pinkie: (eyes wide) Oh...

twow: Yup. Get ready Gilda, because this is more than likely gonna hurt.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

After flying a good distance from Sugarlump Corner, Gideon the Griffon touched down in a tree. He had never been so thoroughly humiliated in all his life. To vent his anger, the griffon slashed the tree's thick trunk with his talons. The 'party' held in his honor did nothing but drive a wedge between him and his former coltfriend. He felt nothing but contempt for the other party goers.

Pinkie: Silly story! Gilda is a female!

Gilda: Wait, what?!

twow: Oh boy. This story is a Rule 63 story.

Gilda: A what?

Pinkie: That means that all us females are males now!

Gilda: Oh. Okay. Because this wasn’t weird enough.

"What a bunch of total dweebs," Gideon said, as he traced his talon across the deep gashes he made in the wood, "Making me look like an asshat in front of Rainbow Blitz."

twow: Nah, you kinda did that to yourself.

As he thought about his ex-coltfriend's supple, athletic body, Gideon's griffonhood began to rise.

Pinkie: Rising like bread dough!

twow: I will never eat your bread again.

"Blitz and I are ten times as cool as the rest of those Ponyville pussies put together," he said, angrily, "Now Rainbow hates me; all because of that lame-o party." Gideon let out a melancholy sigh as he began to slowly jerk his shaft.

Gilda: Because when I’m upset, I start masturbating.

twow: Seems legit.

Though his talons were strong enough to tear through tree trunks, the griffon had learned how to use them to gently stroke his member.

Pinkie: Wouldn’t they still be in the way?

twow: Maybe?

Gilda: I’ve learned to be very careful with them.

"You always were too cool for this place, Blitzy," Gideon said, longingly, "Whatever happened to us?" The griffon rested his back against the tree and enjoyed a pity masturbation session, more commonly known as wangst.

twow: I’ve...actually never heard of that before.

Gideon's cold, textured bird claws felt amazing against his hot shaft. The griffon moaned as he pictured Blitz's inviting back door.

Pinkie: I hope he knocked first!

twow and Gilda: (facepalm/claw)

"What's wrong, Gideon-kun?" the imaginary Blitz taunted as he suggestively wiggled his ass cheeks, "Could it be you're craving my sonic rainbooms?" As was often the case with winged mythical creatures, Gideon's arousal resulted in a massive wingboner.

twow: Really though, can griffons even get those?!

Gilda: Who told you they COULDN’T?

twow: Oh dear god...

Precum dribbled down his shaft as the griffon groaned, stroking himself faster. He felt every vein; every fold of skin on his glorious throbbing dick. With his other claw, the griffon started fondling and massaging his furry balls. Gideon's prehensile lion-like tail wrapped itself around the branch where he was sitting.

twow: I gotta hand it to this guy, he goes all the way.

Gilda: Ew.

"Ohh," the griffon moaned as his stimulated member caused euphoric sensations to swell within him. As Gideon continued to play with his balls, he moved his other hand off of his shaft and cupped it around his cock head. Working his privates like a mortar and pestle, the griffon hoped to grind out an orgasm.

Pinkie: He’s not a car.

twow: Pinkie, what...

As Gideon sensed he was about to cum, he glanced around to make sure nopony was headed his way. When the griffon saw that the coast was clear, he flew up into the sky for a dramatic climax.

Flying with a wingboner is like trying to run with feet that are asleep. The body moves without being able to feel a thing, while giving a tingling sensation at the same time.

twow: Then why the fuck did you take off?!

As he soared higher, both of Gideon's claws were furiously beating his meat. the griffon strained and grunted; partially from trying to remain airborne, but mostly because he was about to ejaculate.

Pinkie: I don’t understand how he’s still in the air.

Gilda: A lot of effort.

He closed his eyes and pictured Rainbow Blitz sucking him off.

"Oh, you give the best rainblow jobs," Gideon said, fondly. The griffon imagined the stallion's blue lips making a tight seal around his shaft as the pony's tongue tickled his tip.

Gilda: Why does everyone assume that I’m sexually attracted to Dash?

twow: The same reason that Dash is paired with Fluttershy.

Pinkie: Or me!

Gilda: And that reason is?

twow: Rainbow is shipped with EVERYTHING.

"Blitz!" Gideon said, "I'm cumming!" The griffon shot his load as he did an aerial somersault, spraying thick gooey ropes of his bird seed in all directions. Below the griffon, his sticky cum fell upon the grass, like a rain that was rich in protein.

twow: “And then somepony looked up and got it right in the eye.”

Pinkie: “Screaming began.”

Landing on a cloud, Gideon lay back to enjoy the afterglow of his orgasm. The griffon played with his now-flaccid penis as he thought about Rainbow Blitz. He imagined his coltfriend's firm stallionhood reaming his furry griffon butt.

Gilda: That is not something that I want to envision.

Dash: (from TV) Neither do I!

twow: So, it would be enjoyable if they were females? (smacked by Gilda and Dash)

 However, once the temporary high faded, the daydreams stopped and Gideon was forced back to his harsh reality.

"It's all that pink pony's fault," Gideon said, as he tore off a small piece of cloud and ripped it to tiny bits, "That butthole ruined everything."

twow: Didn’t Dash set up those pranks?

Pinkie: Yeah! Gilda got really mad though...

Gilda: About that...

As he sat there sulking, a sly smile crossed Gideon's beak.

"I groove on a good prank as much as the next griffon," he said, sinisterly, "Bubble Berry likes to play pranks, so I'll give him a prank he'll never forget."

Gilda: “It’ll involve claws.”

Pinkie: “And chocolate rain.”

twow: “I’ll get the apples.”

It was night at Sugerlump Corner when Gideon came sneaking around outside.

twow: Did...did he change the shop’s gender?

Pinkie: Maybe? I like it!

 The tall, slender Cherry Cake and her stout husband Cheese Cake were off at a plot contrivance convention, leaving Bubble Berry to mind the store in their absence.

twow: “You’re a funny guy narrator.”

The pink stallion was asleep in his upstairs bedroom. He wore bright pink pajamas with a matching pink cap that drooped down on one side of his face.

Gilda: Geez, we get it! He likes pink!

The sound of gears turning and mechanical grinding woke the pony from his slumber.

"I'm awake!" Berry said, sitting up in a panic. The stallion heard a loud shriek and a thud come from below.

Gilda: Light sleeper?

twow: I’m more worried about the GEARS.

"Bakery bandits!" the pink stallion shouted, "They've come to steal our dough!" The party pony tossed off his pajamas, grabbed a whiffle bat in his mouth and ran downstairs to stop the robbery.

twow: If I ever saw a stallion running at me with a bat, I’d get the hell out of Dodge.

Gilda: You find him threatening?

twow: This is Pinkie, or at least the male side. And I find that MORE scary.

As Berry entered the bakery, he didn't find any thieves. Instead, he found a familiar griffon lying face down on the table. His arms and legs were tied down with ropes as his bottom hung over the edge of the table. The once proud griffon was now humiliated as he lay bound on his stomach presenting himself to the pink pony. Berry set the bat down and slowly approached the intruder.

Pinkie: Um, what is that?

twow: A trap, and a very perverted one at that.

"Well, it looks like the Cake's security measures are working just fine," Berry said as he circled the table, unable to take his eyes off of the griffon, "So Gideon, what brings you back to my little candy kitchen?"

twow: Who...what...why...WHO’S SECURITY WORKS LIKE THAT?!

Gilda: I’m kinda glad I left that party now.

"Let me go, dick cheese!" the griffon shouted indignantly, "Go screw yourself with a splintered rolling pin!"

Gilda: Wow. I can be a jerk, but I wouldn’t say that.

twow: That sounds painful as HELL.

Pinkie: What kind of cheese is that again? Does it really exist?

twow: Pinkie, I SWEAR...

"Still a big meanie pants I see," Berry said with a sad sigh, "Maybe you'll be nicer after one of my special private parties..."

"Private...parties?" Gideon asked, hesitantly.

Pinkie: (rubbing her hooves together) “They’re private for a reason...”

twow and Gilda: (move away from Pinkie)

Berry ran a hoof along the immobilized griffon's backside, causing Gideon to shiver. The griffon's long tail twitched nervously as the stallion stared lustfully at the flaccid griffonhood dangling below the table.

twow: Wait, can you always see your dick?

Gilda: Don’t ask me. I’m a female.

twow: I...well seeing as how Gideon is gay, he very well might have gotten hard again.

Pinkie: But the story said he was flaccid!

Gilda: Subject change time.

"Gee Gideon," Berry said, coyly, "Laying on this table all trussed up makes you look like a turkey."

The horny pony leaned over the table and put his weight on Gideon's back. The pink stallion moved close to whisper in the griffon's ear.

"What do you say we make you a stuffed turkey?" Berry said, threateningly. Gideon let out a loud gulp.

twow: “It’s Thanksgiving time.”

As the pink stallion went back upstairs to get some supplies, the griffon looked around for anything that could help him escape. Gideon struggled against his restraints, but it was no use. He wasn't going anywhere.

Gilda: That’s the purpose of a trap.

Pinkie: I don’t think the Cakes set this up.

twow: Break time. I need to prepare for this.

twow: Alright, how are we all dealing with this?

Pinkie: I’m...not sure.

Gilda: I’m annoyed. This story is not portraying how I would act.

twow: Oh?

Gilda: Duh. Look at me now. I apologized to Dash and even though I don’t want to be here with that pink annoyance, I am.

Pinkie: Gilda, I...

twow: Hold up Pinkie. We need to deal with this.

Gilda: Deal with what?

twow: I get that you don’t like Pinkie. But what I don’t understand is why you were such a jerk to her in the FIRST place?

Gilda: Excuse me?

twow: You heard me. Explain.

Gilda: And if I don’t.

twow: Dash isn’t gonna let us out until we finish and I can simply not read this.

Gilda: (sighing) Look Pinkie. I wasn’t mean to you because of how you looked, or how you acted or anything like that.

Pinkie: Then what was it?

Gilda: It was your friendship with Dash. I saw it and I didn’t want you pulling my friend away from me. Turns out that still happened.

Pinkie: It’s alright though.

Gilda: Huh?

Pinkie: Even though you were mean to me, I already forgave you!

Gilda: You did?

Pinkie: Of course! I don’t wanna spend time angry at ponies. How can I make them smile if I can’t smile?

Gilda: Huh. You’re quite a strange pony Pinkie.

Pinkie: I do my best!

twow: Are we all good now?

Gilda: I was trying to have a moment.

twow: I think you succeeded. Being friends with Pinkie has its share of ups and down.

Gilda: Downs? With her? Like what?

twow: Riffing stories like this.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Berry came back down dragging a red chest with black trim that was labeled: 'Bubble Berry's Private Party Supplies." The bouncy stallion opened the chest as excitedly as a foal opens presents on Hearth's Warming morn.

Pinkie: “OHMYGOSHWHATISIT?!”

twow: I don’t wanna know.

Gilda: I REALLY don’t.

The pink pony gave a loud squeeing sound as he found what he had been looking for. Berry pulled a blindfold and a six-inch long butt plug out of the chest. Sticking out of the wide end of the sex toy was a long, artificial purple pony tail.

Gilda: Uhhhh...

Pinkie: Wait, I have one of those? Why do I have one of those?

twow: One, I pray those don’t exist in your world and two, now I know why that trap exists.

 Gideon craned his neck to try and see what Berry was doing. The griffon broke into a nervous sweat when he saw Berry turn around holding the purple tail.

"I bet all griffons are just born meanie pants," Berry said, as he slid the blindfold over his eyes, "You'll be much nicer once I've made you an honorary pony."

Gilda: Couldn’t I just get a suit or something?

"Come on, Berry," Gideon said, nervously, "You're joshin' me. This ain't funny, so untie me now!"

"But I want to play pin the tail on the griffon," Berry said, childishly, "As the guest of honor, you really should have the purple tail."

Pinkie: Do I have other colors?

twow: If you do, and you don’t jam it up my ass, I want the green one.

The blindfolded stallion began to hobble forward on three legs, as his right fore-hoof was holding up the butt plug.

"Just walk straight ahead and pin the tail," Berry said, happily.

"Stop it, you pink pansy!" Gideon said, panicking, "Let me go!"

twow: Yes. Call the one that has you at his mercy names.

Gilda: This...is not gonna end well.

twow: It’ll end well for Berry...

Berry altered his trajectory by following the sounds of the griffon's hysterical voice.

"Don't talk," the stallion scolded, "I don't want you to make this too easy for me."

twow: That’s some REAL Pin the tail!

Pinkie: T! That’s awful!

twow: It’s not better then how stallions do it. They already have the equipment.

Gideon kept his beak shut and whimpered quietly as Berry inched ever closer to the griffon's fudge pot. The pink pony eventually made contact when the tip of the plug pressed against the griffon's butt cheek. Gideon was sweating hard now as he began to tighten his asshole in fear. Berry slid the pony plug down into the griffon's sweaty crack.

Gilda and Pinkie: Ewwwww.

twow: I’ve heard about plugging up the problem, but this is messed up. (smacked by Gilda and Pinkie)

Berry places a hoof on Gideon's butt to mark the location of his tight hole.

"Found it!" the pink stallion said, excitedly. Berry placed the butt plug in his mouth and started swirling his tongue around to get it nice and wet.

twow: Dude! That was right between his asscheeks...i need to stab myself now...

Pinkie: Don’t do that T! Even though that was a horrible picture in my mind...

When the plug had been sufficiently lubed, the pony shoved the whole six inches inside the griffon. Gideon let out an eagle-like shriek as the fake pony tail stuck out of his griffon ass.

Gilda: (wince)

twow: Ouch.

 Berry took off the blindfold and watched as Gideon struggled futily to expel the anal obstruction. His wiggling only served to make the purple tail swish back and forth.

"Now you look like a real pony!" Berry said, proudly.

twow: Besides the lion tail, the eagle wings...

Pinkie: Don’t forget her claws!

Gilda: Or my beak.

The anal insertion had an immediate effect on the griffon. His wings extended to their full length and flapped hard. Being unable to lift a bolted down table, Gideon soon resigned himself to his fate and returned his ruffled feathers to a more manageable position.

Gilda: Actually, it’s not that easy to get rid of a wingboner.

twow: Can’t say I have experience...or wait.

Pinkie: You don’t have wings though!

twow: Derpy accidently sprayed my wing creator on me. And I had a dirty thought while I had them.

Gilda: Huh. This isn’t weird or anything.

 His ass kept a tight grip on the pony tail as his lion-like cock started to swell.

"I've read that when cooking a turkey, you can tell it's done when the cooking plunger pops up." Berry said as he watched the griffon's shaft engorge itself, "You're plunger's popped up, but we're not done yet. We're only just getting started."

Gilda: Lucky me.

Now that his pony had a proper tail, Berry walked back to his toy chest to get a saddle. This special seat lay flat on the wearer's back and had straps that secured it around the belly. In the middle of the saddle was an eight-inch long knob that stuck straight up.

Pinkie: I wouldn’t want to ride a bull while sitting on that!

twow: I swear, the people that make these things are FUCKED in the head.

 It was made of hard plastic, yet still flexible enough to enable the user to lean back and forth with it fully inserted and not cause any injury.

The party pony was completely getting into his little game. He put on a pink cowboy hat, with a matching magenta neckerchief, a pink leather vest and magenta fringed assless chaps.

twow: Damn. If Berry had a whip, he’d be about to tame the wild lion. (smacked by Gilda)

Berry strapped the saddle around Gideon's waist, then climbed up on the table. The saddle kept the griffon's wings pinned down.

"Get off of me." Gideon said, angrily, "I'm not a stupid pony."

Gilda: I thought the tail in my behind made me one.

Pinkie: You gotta learn how to roleplay better!

"I think you must be," Berry said, "Otherwise you'd know that ponies aren't supposed to talk."

twow: On EARTH maybe...

The stallion stuck a bit inside Gideon's beak and pulled the straps tight, rendering the griffon unable to speak.

Berry then grabbed the reins and positioned his pink ass over the knob of the saddle.

"I don't have any traditional lube on me," Berry said, "so I had to improvise." The stallion then pulled out a squeeze bottle of strawberry syrup. Gideon heard a sickening, squelching sound as the contents of the bottle were squeezed onto the knob. Syrup ran down its length, coating it.

Gilda: What?!

Pinkie: I used syrup? Wouldn’t that make it stickier?

twow: Logically...I have no clue anymore.

The sticky red liquid dripped off the saddle and stuck to Gideon's feathered wings. Berry squirted a little syrup onto his hoof and applied it directly to his pert, pink asshole. After giving a shudder of anticipation, Bubble Berry turned around and slowly started to lower himself down onto the saddle.

twow: “Captain! The sun’s going out!”

Pinkie: “Ready the flag!”

Gilda: “We go down together!”

"Ohh! Aah! Ooo!" He panted as he felt his ass become completely filled.

twow: And he turned into a monkey.

 The pony's pink sphincter stretched wide to accommodate the sticky plastic shaft. His insides were coated in sweet strawberry sauce as his poop chute spread to welcome the rubber knob.

The pony let out a sensual moan as his pink balls touched the base of the saddle. The stallion grabbed the brim of his cowboy hat and bit his lip to stop himself from screaming.

Pinkie: That sounds really painful.

twow: And this is why I don’t understand anal.

Berry's eyes watered as he sat there and waited for the pain in his ass to subside before continuing. His heart beat fast as the anal agony slowly transformed into electric tinglings of pure bliss.

Gilda: HOW does that work?!

twow: Couldn’t tell ya, thank god.

With his ass now stuffed with a long, plastic shlong, Berry grabbed the reins and held them in his hooves.

"Giddy up, pony!" the stallion said, shaking the reins, "Move those hips!"

Pinkie: “Now arch your back! Work harder if you wanna lose those pounds!

Gideon struggled under the weight of Berry's bulbous bubble butt.

Gilda: Interesting choice of words.

twow: Wonderful. Forgot how much he loves his alliteration.

The griffon's arms and legs were tied tight, but he could still move his spine. Reluctantly obeying his master's orders, the griffon arched his back up. His mount bucking upwards forced Bubble Berry's butt to connect completely with the base of the hard shaft.

twow: Fatality.

Pinkie: Impaled.

Gilda: Ouch.

 When the stallion's cheeks slapped against the saddle, the pony screamed in ecstasy as a pleasureful thrill circulated throughout his body.

Gilda: Is...is that even a WORD?

Pinkie: What, pleasureful? Sure?

twow: Guess I’ma have to update my dictionary.

"Atta' girl!" Berry said, as he squeezed his hind legs against the griffon's hips, "Gideon, I think you make a much better pony than you ever did a griffon!"

Gideon grumbled and cursed through the bit stuck in his beak.

"When I get out of here," Gideon thought, "I'm gonna slash that pink poof to ribbons!"

Pinkie: If I’m a poof, then she’s a streamer!

twow: Wouldn’t you be the streamer though?

Pinkie: Silly T! That’s not how it works!

twow: Hmm. Streamers are like ribbons...

Gilda: Are you two insane?!

twow: Getting there.

Berry cracked the reins a couple more times, further enraging the griffon.

"Harder pony!" the stallion commanded, "I want you to make like a buckin' bronco and buck my brains out!"

twow: Clopfics have forever ruined the work “buck” for me.

Gideon repeatedly arched his back sending Berry bouncing high before the stallion slid back down the length of the slick knob. The party pony giggled as the saddle tickled him from the inside. Gideon thrust upwards in quick succession, hoping to cause the stallion some sort of painful internal damage.

twow: Yeah, good luck with that. Pinkie’s virtually indestructible.

Gilda: I know. I knocked her out of the SKY and she was fine.

Grabbing the griffon's real tail, Berry tied a loop in it to form a crude lasso that he twirled around as he bounced.

"Yeehaw!" the stallion shouted, "Ride 'em cowboy!"

While his real tail was being played with, Gideon's pony tail swished every time he bucked his hips. Perpetually aroused by the butt plug, the griffon's massive cock leaked a small puddle of precum onto the floor.

Pinkie: “Clean up on isle 4!”

twow: “Bring a mop and your mouth!”

Berry's tool was arguably having more fun than Gideon's. The stallion's thick cock was rock hard from all the anal stimulation. Berry kept cracking the reins allowing his willy to bounce freely.

The pink pony's happy meat slapped repeatedly against Gideon's folded wings. the perky pony's precum permeated his pissed off partner's plumage.

twow: I counted. He used ninewords that started with P in those two sentences.

Pinkie: That’s quite flattering.

"You're wings are so pretty!" Berry groaned as his body received another torrent of bliss from his bouncing buggered bottom, "Your feathers are tickling Berry Jr!"

"He named his cock? Gideon thought, "What a dweeb."

twow: And this got weirder.

Gilda: It wasn’t already weird?!

Berry could feel his orgasm building, and he didn't want to cut the party short.

"Ut-oh, I think this pony ride is making Berry Jr. sick!" the stallion said, playfully, "I better stop before he pukes!"

Pinkie: Uhhhh...

twow: That’s an interesting analogy for sex.

Berry cracked the reins twice and instructed the griffon to stop bucking. After taking a moment to catch his breath, the stallion pulled out of the tall saddle knob.

Berry's cock twitched and pulsed as it was so close to orgasming; But without that last crucial bit of stimuli, the cock eventually came down from the edge. In spite of suffering a case of blue balls, Berry's stallionhood was still hard as stone and throbbing for more excitement.

twow: Well, that’s Pinkie/Berry.

Pinkie: What?

twow: Never mind.

Berry tipped his pink cowboy hat forward and sauntered over to look his gift horse in the mouth.

Gilda: ...

twow: Oh. HA HA. YOU ARE NOT FUNNY.

Gideon stared daggers into the pink stallion as the bit was removed from the griffon's beak. The beleaguered beast was too fatigued from all the bouncing to do anything but gasp for breath. The slickened saddle still kept the proud griffon's wings pinned down.

Pinkie: But I’m not sitting on it anymore.

Gilda: Yeah, I thought your weight held it down.

twow: Reason must be holding you down.

"It gets powerfully lonesome out here on her range," Berry said, doing his best Applejack impression, "Sometimes a randy old cowpoke like myself has no alternative but to turn to his trusty horse for companionship."

twow: I’m pretty sure that real cowboys don’t fuck their horses.

The stallion walked around to Gideon's rear and lifted up his purple pony tail. Below the butt plug, Berry could see the griffon's throbbing dick was aching for some contact.

"Oh no!" Berry said, in mocking concern, "Poor Trigger's swollen up from a snake bite! Don't worry, old paint! Cowboy Berry will suck out the poison!"

Gilda: I know where THIS is going.

The pink stallion sat down and pulled Gideon's cock close to his face. The griffon flinched as he felt Berry's hot breath against his erect griffonhood.

Pinkie: Wait. In his roleplaying, Gideon got bitten there?

twow: OWWWW.

"Please," Gideon said, weakly, "You've had your fun. Just let me go-oh!" The griffon let out a shout of surprise as the pink pony started playing with the film griffonhood.

Berry ran his tongue slowly along the length of Gideon's dick. The griffon shuddered in pleasure as the pink pony pressed his pink lips against the cock head. The stallion let out a sensual moan as he slowly slid the tip of the hot shaft between his moist mouth.

Gilda: Huh.

Pinkie: Is that all?

Gilda: Pretty much. Waiting on twow.

twow: I got nothing.

Bubble Berry had always been a size queen, and the well-endowed griffon did not disappoint. Gideon's shlong barely fit in the stallion's mouth.

"By the opulent orbs of Prince Solaris!" Berry thought, "This griffon is hung like a horse!"

twow: Or...like a lion.

Berry struggled inch by inch to fit the whole shaft inside. The stallion choked as the griffon's massive length slid past his lips and towards the back of his throat. Gideon gave a grateful groan as the pink party pony continued to work his magic touch.

Pinkie: For some weird reason, I want to know just how big it was.

twow: It wouldn’t matter.

Gilda: How so?

twow: In the fandom, Pinkie does whatever she wants. Gideon’s dick could be 45 inches and she’d still be able to fit the whole thing in her mouth.

The griffon's need for revenge was diminished as his feelings of lust overpowered all others. All Gideon cared about at this moment was getting release, and Bubble Berry was happy to oblige.

Wanting to further tease his captive, Berry pulled his mouth away from the griffon's slick dick.

"Does horsey want me to stop?" the sly stallion asked.

twow: Survey says...

"Neigh," Gideon replied happily, shaking his ass and allowing the purple tail to tussle Berry's curly pink mane.

twow: Thought so.

Pinkie: “You won the PRIZE!”

 With a smile on his face, Berry opened his mouth wide and slid the griffon's throbbing meat stick down his gullet.

For a time, no one talked. The only sounds heard were the guttural slurping and sucking sounds of Berry and the moans of ecstasy from Gideon, which were growing steadily louder.

Gilda: Not something I’d like to hear in the dead of night.

twow: Or at all, for that matter.

The top of the griffon's member rested on Berry's tongue as the stallion cradled the shaft with a loving tenderness that was rarely seen. The pink pony worshiped the griffon's cock and gave alms with his mouth.

twow: “And we bow before the great lion cock.”

Pinkie: “Worship its greatness, or be deemed a traitor.”

Gilda: “BOOOOOW!”

As the stallion took more of Gideon's hot shaft down his throat, he kept resisting his body's natural impulse to gag. Berry leaned forward swallowing more of the cock, until his pink nose was pressed up against his lover's brown furry balls.

Pinkie: That’s a bit too much information, story.

Seeing a new toy to play with, Berry pulled back, letting the entire length of Gideon's cock slip out of his pink mouth. The stallion's saliva began to drip from the griffon's shaft onto the bakery floor.

Grabbing his trusty bottle of strawberry syrup, Berry squirted some onto the griffon's gonads. Gideon shuddered at the sensation of the cold liquid being poured on his hot rocks.

"Watch it!" the griffon said, "That stuff's cold!"

twow: STILL?!

Gilda: It’s been out for a while. It should be room temperature now.

I guess I'll have to warm it up then." Berry said, seductively, "I've always wanted to try strawberry-glazed griffon balls!"

Putting the griffin's nuts in his mouth one by one, the stallion began to suck on them greedily.

Gilda: I’m going to hate myself for asking this, but how big were they?

twow: Seeing as he apparently has a giant lion dick I’d SAY they were big...

"Yes!" Gideon shouted as pony's skilled ministrations provided the griffon with pure bliss. Berry gently ran his tongue along his partner's sweet and sweaty nuts, while applying just enough pressure to feel pleasurable without becoming painful.

Pinkie: Gotta be careful.

twow: Sweet and sweaty. There is no way in hell that tastes good.

Wanting to return the favor, the griffon took his lion-like tail and wrapped it around Berry's member. As Gideon started stoking the hot stallionhood, Berry let out a moan and released the griffon's balls from his mouth with a wet popping sound.

Gilda: Oh so NOW he wants to be nice.

Pinkie: Sharing IS caring!

"I've never gotten a tail job before." Berry said, breathlessly.

"We griffon's have a few moves in our tricktionary that you ponies can't do," Gideon said proudly, as he felt the pink pony's precum dribble onto his tail.

twow: That’s a duh moment right there.

Wanting to claim Gideon's butt for himself, Berry put one hoof on the griffon's ass and used his other hoof to pull out the butt plug. It wouldn't budge. The griffon's ass was dry as a desert from having no real lube. The plug hadn't been moved for so long, that Gideon's sphincter was gripping the sex toy like a vice.

Gilda: Owww.

Pinkie: Oh that’s awful!!!

twow: I guess Berry’s spit didn’t do the job for a long time.

"Stop pulling!" the griffon cried, "My ass is too tight! It won't come out!"

"Then I'll wiggle it and get it looser," the pink stallion said, "Don't worry. I'll be berry careful."

"Wrong Hub series," Gideon said, nonchalantly.

"Hey," Bubble Berry said, indignantly, "I do the fourth wall breaking jokes around here, and do-o-o-on't you forget it!"

twow and Pinkie: HAAAAAAATE!

Gilda: I don’t get it.

Berry then pulled out a Spanish guitar from hammerspace and slammed it against the griffon's ass, breaking the instrument. Gideon screamed in pain and surprise.

The force of the guitar pushed the wide end of the butt plug in as well, leaving only the purple tail sticking out.

"Now it's in deeper," Gideon lamented, as he flexed his rectal muscles in vain, "I'm too dry. I can't push it out."

Pinkie: Wait, why did I do that?!

twow: I have no answer that would understand.

"Then I'll pull it out," Berry said, "But it might feel tender at first. So, to distract you from the irritation, I'll resume my patented Bubble Berry blow job."

Gilda: It’s still gonna hurt coming out!

Berry took Gideon's cock back into his mouth. The butt plug had managed to keep the griffon's member nice and hard. Berry's left hoof gently caressed Gideon's ass cheek, while he wrapped his right hoof around the butt plug's purple tail and prepared to pull.

twow: This story makes me feel unclean.

Gilda: How do you think we feel?

"Ohh, Berry," Gideon moaned with pleasure, "Your tongue is amazing!"

Now that his partner was sufficiently distracted from the incoming anal misery, the party pony gave a couple quick tugs on Gideon's pony tail. There were no improvements made, as the griffon's ass held the plug firmly in place. Gideon let out a few pitiful whimpers.

Pinkie: It doesn’t matter how he distracts Gideon. It’s still gonna hurt!

Berry realized he needed to try a different tactic.

"This calls for extreme measures, Bubble Berry style!" the stallion thought, "Like pulling off a bandage, I'll have to do it in one quick yank.

All: OH WHY?!

twow: Holy hell that would rip his ass apart!"

To mitigate the rectal wreckage that was soon to transpire, Bubble Berry wanted to make Gideon as happy as possible. The pink pony leaned forward and took the griffon to the hilt. His pink lips wrapped around the base of the cock as Gideon's balls rested atop his pink nose.

Gilda: There’s no point in making me happy if I’m going to be sad...

The griffon gave a delighted moan, which soon turned into a shrill scream as Berry pulled the butt plug out with one hard tug. Gideon's rectum made a stretching, sucking sound, before finally making a loud pop as his anal passage finally became clear again.

twow: The Cakes didn’t take their foals with them, right?

Pinkie: This is BEFORE they were born.

twow: Good, because that would have woken them up.

The fake horse tail flew through the air before landing with a clatter on the bakery floor and rolled to a stop.

Feeling the length of the plug rubbing against his sphincter on its way out was enough to send Gideon over the edge. The griffon came, shooting a thick stream of gooey bird seed straight down the stallion's throat.

twow: “Harder! The pain, it arouses me!” (smacked by Gilda and Pinkie)

Gilda: You have issues.

 Berry wanted to taste his meal before it made it to his stomach, so he pulled out the pulsating shaft and opened his mouth wide. The pony positioned the cock so that the rest of the splooge landed on his eager tongue.

Berry was a grade 'A' cum hound, who enjoyed the taste of hot, gooey griffon glue.

Pinkie: Wait, isn’t that really salty? Better grab a glass of water!

twow: Something tells me that if I question that, I won’t get an answer I like.

 The party pony closed his mouth to savor his salty snack. The stallion swished the semen around in his mouth and gargled it like he was a connoisseur of fine wines. He let the spunk sit on his tongue for a moment before finally swallowing it with a loud gulp. The pink pony let out a loud burp, which reeked of Gideon's griffon musk.

twow: THAT’S gonna be some nasty morning breath.

Gilda: No toothpaste in the world...

"Interesting," Berry said, judging the merits of the semen, "This sample had a rather pungent bouquet. The aroma was a dense blend of raw griffon eggs and ammonia, while the flavor itself was quite rich and piquant, if not a little robust.

twow: How in the FUCK does that taste good?!

Pinkie: Maybe it was that syrup!

 The subtle flavor variations throughout the sample were an unexpected, but welcome, surprise. Its consistency was lush and supple; and the whole experience was topped off with a rich, complex aftertaste. Overall, an excellent sample." If there was one thing Bubble Berry prided himself on, it was being an excellent judge of jizz.

Gilda: Because that’ll help you make it in the world.

twow: The porn world maybe...

Pinkie: I could never slander myself like that.

twow: Right. You can access the internet. How has the world not ended again?

While his partner's body was embracing a bone-shattering orgasm, Berry leaned in close and affectionately kissed the griffon's flared cock head.

twow: “So beautiful...”

"Feel better?" Berry asked, romantically.

"Yes," Gideon said, panting, "I needed that." The griffon felt his heart pounding in his chest as his monster orgasm surged throughout his quivering body.

Pinkie: I fail to see the romance in this.

Gilda: Wasn’t I coming here for revenge?

"The fun's not over yet." Berry said, cheerfully patting his stone hard stallionhood, "Your birdy butt still has to try out my party cannon."

"Wait a minute," Gideon said, "I thought you named your dick Berry Jr."

Gilda: He did.

"Duh," Berry said, "Who do think operates the the party cannon?"

"Well, ask a silly question..." the griffon muttered.

Gilda: Get an answer that I don’t understand.

Pinkie: Wait. I get it...

twow: It’s when Berry cums. That’s the party cannon.

Berry grabbed the butt plug off the ground before removing the saddle and his cowboy outfit. He put all his toys back in the chest as the stallion made preparations for round two.

twow: And we need to prepare for chapter three.

Gilda: UGH.

Pinkie: Yeah. That would be good.

twow: Alright you two, we’ve got one more chapter left.

Gilda: This is not easy to read at all.

twow: Yeah. Pinkie’s rather OOC in this.

Gilda: Is she though? Think about it.

Pinkie: What...what are you talking about?

Gilda: Berry is just as hyper as you, just as random as you...

twow: He is random, I’ll give him that one.

Gilda: Not to mention he’s annoying.

Pinkie: (softly) And your point is?

Gilda: My POINT is that you could act like this. I don’t know about all the sex stuff, but who knows?

twow: Uhhh, Gilda?

Gilda: What?

(twow points to Pinkie, whose mane has deflated)

twow: Not talking right now would be good.

Gilda: Whoa. You alright over there, Pinkie?

Pinkamena Diane Pie: Does it look like I’m alright?!

twow: Oh hell. Fallen’s told me about when you flat-mane.

Gilda: What?

twow: Look at her Gilda. See the lack of a poofy mane? See the lack of smile? This the scary dark side of the Element of Laughter.

Gilda: What should we do?

twow: Uhh, Dash? Did you ever set up Pinkie’s remote to call people?

Dash: (from TV) Yeah. Why?

twow: Need to make a collect call.

Dash: Go ahead...oh. Pinkie? Are yo-

Pinkamena: Do not ask that.

(twow taps a few buttons on his keyboard until Fallen Prime’s armory shows up on the screen.)

twow: Huh. Guess it worked. Fallen!

Fallen Prime: (from TV) I don’t remember giving you my number, twow.

twow: Kinda stole it last time I was there. Listen, I need some help here. (points at Pinkamena)

Fallen: Oh, goddammit, what did you do now?

twow: Well, we’re riffing a story about the rule 63 versions of her and Gilda having sex-

Fallen: Oh god, the Bronystories one. twow, you are incorrigible.

twow: -and Gilda made the mistake of COMPARING them.

Gilda: I didn’t know she was going to react like that!

Fallen: And you called me because...

twow: Pinkie’s flat-maned what, twice with you?

Fallen: Three times.

twow: I don’t want to say something wrong while she’s in a room with a lot of items that can take me apart in painful ways.

Fallen: I know from experience, twow. She’s distressed, probably really pissed, but she’s not violent. Your best bet might be to just let her stay in that state of mind for the rest of the riff. Lord knows it helped her through “Rarity’s Generous Plan.”

Pinkamena: Want to know why I’m so upset here?

twow: Kinda...

Pinkamena: I don’t care if he’s enjoying it, I wouldn’t do that to anypony. I’d ask, and let them out of the trap also! This is making me out to be something that I am NOT.

Gilda: Look Pinkie. I didn’t mean to upset you.

Pinkamena: Maybe, but you did though. I’ll get over it. Maybe.

twow: Sooo, are you gonna be all happy now?

Pinkamena: No. Fallen knows that staying like this will help me.

twow: If you say. Thanks Fallen.

Fallen: Anytime, I guess. Pinkie, I still have to break you over “Derpy’s Finest Hour.” Don’t think I forgot.

Pinkamena: Yes. Remind me about that NOW.

twow: Damn it Fallen!

Fallen: Meant to do that. Have fun with a pissed Pinkie!

(Fallen’s TV turns off with a blip.)

Gilda: Wait, she can get MORE upset?

twow: As long as she directs it at the story.

Pinkamena: Do you still have that space-time sword, twow?

twow: Yes...

Pinkamena: Good.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Ever the prankster, Berry snuck over to the counter and brought back a jumbo jar of hot sauce.

twow: Dude, you aren’t about to chow on some chicken wings.

"What's that you're getting? Gideon asked, unable to crane his neck far enough to see.

"Just some super special lube," Berry said coyly.

Gilda: Super special?

twow: Very super.

Berry wanted to prepare the griffon's ass as much as possible. The stallion's tongue pushed past Gideon's sphincter as far as it could go. Berry loved to give rim jobs and eagerly began to make large swirling motions within the griffon's rectal walls.

Pinkamena: I tend to keep my face far away from the backsides of ponies.

twow: (laughing) Imagine if he didn’t wipe his ass! (brutally smacked by Pinkamena and Gilda)

 Gideon's back tensed up from the stallion stirring up his fudge pot. Pleasure rippled throughout the griffon's body as he gave a contented sigh. By the time Berry had finished his rim job, both his lips and Gideon's sphincter were sufficiently limber.

Pinkamena: Okay, HOW does that bring you pleasure?!

twow: I think of it like bondage. Only the fucked up ones like it.

Gilda: Or they have brain issues?

twow: That’s just putting it nicely.

The pink stallion unscrewed the top of the hot sauce jar, which was just wide enough for Berry to dip his dick inside. Berry tried his best to stop from crying, as the first half of his cock filled the jar. The pink stallion's member displaced most of the hot sauce, which spilled over the rim and onto the floor with a wet splat.

twow: Oh GOD! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Pinkamena: What?

twow: Is he insane?! That would hurt like a BITCH.

 Berry felt like his cock was on fire as he pulled it out of the jar. The pink prankster reasoned that a little dick discomfort would be worth it to see Gideon's reaction.

"Okay," Berry said smiling through gritted teeth as he choked back tears, "Here comes the party cannon!"

Gilda: That...that’s going in my butt.

twow: Yes.

Pinkamena: My male side has no sense of logic.

Wanting to get the most out of the prank, Berry knew there was no time to ease in slowly. The pony looked down as the griffon's semi- loose sphincter tensed up in anticipation.

With one thrust, the pink pony buried half of his spicy length into Gideon's sweet ass. In spite of all the anal play endured by the griffon tonight, his puckered pecker pleaser was still too tight for the perky party pony's powerful prick.

Gilda: 1...2...11 words that started with “P”.

Pinkamena: Because ten just wasn’t enough.

twow: You are right. Guess he had to take it...Up to Eleven! (smacked by the moon)

 Undaunted by the ample resistance, Berry pushed his hips forward, gaining an inch with each thrust. In no time he bottomed out so that the base of the griffon's lion-like tail was pressed against his pink belly.

Pinkamena: How did you do that without passing out from the pain?!

twow: I...don’t want to know.

The burning pain Gideon felt was immediate. He had spread his ass for cocks many times before, but they never stung like this. He let out a loud shriek as the hot sauce singed the length of his anus.

twow: So not only is your male counterpart obsessed with Rainbow, he also is a man-whore.

Gilda: I didn’t want any of my character to stay anyway.

Pinkamena: He just burned him with hot sauce only touching his butt.

"You bucking bubble bastard!" Gideon said, angrily, "What did you do to me? My ass is on fire!"

Berry giggled uncontrollably at his hilarious prank. He didn't even care that his stallionhood was in excruciating pain.

twow: Even though any sane male WOULD.

"I wanted to spice up our secret butt fun," the stallion said as he snorted with laughter, "Let's just say you helped me put the 'ass' in Tabasco!"

All: UGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Pinkamena: You know a pun is bad when I wouldn’t even say it.

The griffon thrashed as much as his bindings would permit. The fiery fudge packing he was enduring caused Gideon to whine as tears streaked down his face. The white-hot irritation was almost more than the mighty griffon could stand.

Gilda: I’m wondering just how hot that sauce was.

twow: The worst kind.

Pinkamena: And that kind is?

twow: The plot.

(Gilda and Pinkamena gasp)

"You should've seen the look on your face!" Berry said, laughing, "Priceless!" The pink pony continued to pump his sore stallionhood into Gideon's tender rectal walls. After a constant onslaught of brutal buggering, the hot sauce had succeeded in coating every inch of the griffon's tight tunnel.

Pinkamena: So I basically forced hot sauce into him even know he didn’t want it.

twow: Hmm. There’s a word for that.

Gilda: Isn’t it ra-

twow: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Needing a pleasant distraction from his searing rear, Gideon positioned his tail around his engorged griffonhood and began to stroke himself.

The griffon's ass and the stallion's cock were both numb from the intense burning sensation. Berry began to find his groove and started making consistent thrusts. Gideon matched the stroking speed of his tail with the stallion's masterful slamming motions. The pleasure swelling within their bodies eventually began to drown out the irritation of their anal inferno.

Gilda: If you’re numb, then how do you feel the pleasure?

twow: Don’t ask me. I’m still trying to figure out why people like anal.

Even without the added agony from the hot sauce, Gideon's asshole was aching from Berry's stout stallionhood. The pony's prodigious pipe stretched the griffon's sphincter to its limits. Bubble Berry's cock had an impressive girth, even by stallion standards.

twow: For some strange reason, that doesn’t surprise me.

Pinkamena: And that would be why?

twow: It’s a strange reason. I don’t know why.

"My ass has never been stretched so wide," Gideon said, in awe, "You're so thick, I'm afraid you'll split me open!"

"To be fair," Berry said, grunting, "You're much longer than I am. I just happen to have a pudgier party cannon."

Gilda: ...that was his point.

Bubble Berry struggled each time he wanted to pull out; but the griffon's seemed determined to stop him from escaping his warm ass. What started out as a simple bird buggering quickly escalated into an butt-based game of tug o' war.

twow: Probably because it’s like the Sahara in his ass.

Pinkamena: Never say that again.

"Your ass is tighter than any stallion," Berry said, "I can see why Blitzy would want a dirty birdy like you to be his bottom bitch."

twow: Not gonna comment on that?

Pinkamena: Do you WANT to be in here for another three hours?

twow: Never mind...

Reminding Gideon of Rainbow Blitz was a bad idea. The griffon suddenly remembered why he came here in the first place.

Gilda: About time!

twow: This was a literal case of being distracted by the sexy.

"Shut up you stinking pony cum slut!" Gideon snapped as Berry continued to ram the griffon's ass, "You can't call him 'Blitzy;' that's my pet name for him!"

"I don't see your name on his name," Berry taunted childishly, "Therefore, it's not yours so you can't call dibs!" The pink pony petulantly stuck his tongue out at the griffon.

twow: Wow. That is third grade shit right there.

Gilda: I don’t consider Rainbow all my own. Really, I hate my male counterpart right now.

Gideon scraped his claws along the underside of the table. The irate griffon tried to ignore the pink pest by focusing on his own orgasm. Gideon's tail stroked his massive griffonhood so fast it was starting to cause a friction burn. All this was done as the griffon tried to drown out Berry's inane chatter. It wasn't easy.

Gilda: It’s never easy.

twow: I can second that.

Pinkamena: Excuse me?

twow: Uhh...Look! Story!

"Blitzy, Blitzy Bo-Bitzy, Banana Fana Fo Fitzy, Me Mi Mo Mitzy. Blitzy!" Berry sang, in an annoying, overly-cheerful tone.

`Pinkamena: SHUT UP!!!!!

Gilda: Would you like to switch seats?

twow: How about no?

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" the griffon screamed, "I'm gonna get you for this! You're dead meat!"

"Actually," the stallion said, contrariwise, "My meat's never felt more alive!"

Pinkamena: I WILL END YOU.

twow: Easy Pinkie. It’s just a story...

Seething with rage, the griffon started a war of words with the hyperactive stallion.

twow: Huh. This oughta be good. Let me take this one ladies.

"Lame-o pony poofter." Gideon said, as he clenched his ass tight.

twow: Pink puff ball!

"Bird bitch." Berry retorted, as he wiggled Berry Jr. deep within Gideon's bowels.

twow: Flying featherweight!

"Ass bandit!" the griffon roared, while jerking his griffonhood ever faster with his tail.

twow: Bottom bitch!

"Pussy pooter!" Berry said, as his violent thrusting caused his pony balls to repeatedly slap against the griffon's gonads.

twow: Dumbass dingo!

"Colt cuddler!!" Gideon yelled as he wiggled his burning ass, allowing the stallion to bugger him further.

twow: Well, I’ma have to give him that one.

"Feathered faggot!!" the stallion yelled back as he buried himself to the balls inside the griffon's searing sausage sanctuary.

twow: Flying fucktard!

"Dumbbell Berry!!!" Gideon shouted, feeling himself on the verge of another orgasm.

twow: Pink pansy!

"Meanie pants!!!" Berry shouted as he pulled his slick cock out of the griffon's ass.

twow: Nope. I can’t top that one.

The ripple of pleasure sent by the stallion removing his cock brought Gideon to the edge for the second time that night. A few more quick jerks was all it took to finish himself off.

"I'm cumming!" the griffon shouted.

Pinkamena: About time. Maybe we can get out of here before next year.

Unable to resist a second course of cum consommé, Berry squatted down and and licked his lips.

"Cum for me, Gideon!" the stallion commanded, "Fill your pink stallion with sticky bird seed!"

Pinkamena: I’d rather you DIDN’T.

Gilda: That goes for two of us.

twow: Kinda glad I stay in my lab now...

Eager to move things along, Berry locked his lips around Gideon's cock head and started sucking greedily. The griffon shot a powerful blast of splooge that coated the roof of the stallion's mouth in a thick, gooey paste. The other spurts landed at the back of his throat before making the trip southward to join his previous meal of cum.

twow: Oh CUM on! How long is this?! (shot by Pinkamena)

Pinkamena: Really twow?

twow: No regrets! Again!

Berry let go of the griffon's dick with a wet smacking sound. The euphoric state of Gideon's second orgasm was even more mind-blowing the the previous one had been. This was due to having his ass filled with red-blooded stallion meat, as opposed to the cold, hard plastic of a butt plug.

Gilda: That’s a rapid shift.

twow: It’s like Berry shoved IcyHot in his ass.

 The added pain of the hot sauce also helped contribute to the overall pleasure and made his second climax that much more memorable.

The pink pony still desperately needed some release for Berry Jr. The stallion walked around to Gideon's face and sat down in front of him.

"I've read a bit about griffon anatomy," Berry said, as he sat and slowly stroked his member, "The hard beaks combined with sandpapery tongues means you guys stink at giving head."

twow: Gilda...

Gilda: If you like your limbs connected to your torso, you won’t finish that question.

Gideon's mind could barely focus on the insults. His head was still soaring with pleasure, while at the same time his ass was searing with pain.

"You wouldn't be such a meanie pants if you just learned to share your friends," Berry said helpfully, as the stallion beat his meat more rapidly, "My friends and I share everything together."

twow: “We even share our sexual partners!”

Pinkamena: Everything does mean everything...

Gideon was trying to listen to Berry's words, but the griffon found himself getting distracted by the twitching cock in front of him.

Berry felt himself getting closer to his climax. All of the built up and subsequent denial had made a huge backlog in his large balls, which cried out desperately for release.

Gilda: Not that I have any sympathy, but that probably hurts.

twow: Hell, its a good thing his balls didn’t explode.

Pinkamena: Why does that thought make me happy?

"I'm sorry if my prank hurt you," Berry said, as he primed his party cannon, "I promise my other 'hot' sauce will taste much sweeter!"

twow: “If ya know what I mean...”

Gilda: “Does it go well on pizza?”

The griffon felt strangely hypnotized as he watched the clopping session unfold. Precum dribbled down Berry's thick shaft, which was still tender and swollen from the hot sauce. The pony's foreskin repeatedly covered and revealed his bulbous cock head to the griffon; it felt like some sort of perverted game of peek-a-boo. Berry let out a moan as he felt his balls contract with the anticipation of release.

Pinkamena: Wonderful. I want to read about this.

twow: Don’t we all?

Gilda: If I might throw in my two cents...

"Ya' gotta' share! Ya' gotta' care!" the stallion said as he clopped himself past the point of no return, "Now choke on my party paste!"

When the stallion ejaculated, his throbbing dick make a loud noise that sounded like a party horn.

Pinkamena: What?!

twow: That’s Pinkie. I never want to say that in this context again.

Berry's orgasm was unique from other males, because his cock shot out not only semen, but confetti. Colorful paper squares and streamers exploded from the tip of his stallionhood and drifted lazily down onto the griffon's feathers and the surrounding bakery floor.

(All three stare at the screen.)

Gilda: Uh, I don’t think it does that...

twow and Pinkamena: HOW THE HELL DOES THAT WORRRRRRRRRK?!?!?!?!?!

While the cumfetti shower was still falling, the stallion's shaft started shooting traditional pony semen into the air. The last of the pretty penile paper rained down around Gideon as the first sticky cum shot landed on his cheek. Due to the stallion's semen expelling the last remnants of the cumfetti as it travered through his urethra, Berry's jizz had an interesting consistency.

twow: No, I’m dead serious. How does this work?!

Pinkamena: It’s like I ate an entire bucket of confetti!

Gilda: Apparently it “travered” far. That can’t be a word.

 The colorful paper that was mixed in with the stallion's splooge made the griffon's cheek look like a rainbow-sprinkled cupcake drizzled with sticky icing. Gideon closed his eyes and braced himself for a deluge of dick discharge.

Pinkamena: This alliteration is making me mad.

twow: I thought you were already pissed off.

Pinkiemena: Go ahead and test it.

Cumfetti littered the ground as the pony's thick stallionhood began pumping gallons of splooge onto the shocked griffon. Berry's pony population paste hit Gideon with the force of a fire hose. Errant globs of jizz splattered onto the tabletop and the floor.

The pink pony held his cock with both hooves and swirled it around, drizzling his sticky icing all over Gideon's beak and feathers.

twow: “Tornado time bitch!”

Pinkamena: “This one’s classified as a FS”

Gilda: “The S stands for sucking.”

"Please enjoy this serving of Berry's baby batter!" the stallion said, still clutching his spraying cock, "Compliments of Sugarlump Corner!"

Gideon choked and gasped for air as hot pony paste filled his open mouth. The griffon's beak-equivalent of nose holes blew large cum bubbles as he tried to breath. Gideon felt like he was going to drown in this torrent of testicle tartar.

All: ENOUGH WITH THE ALLITERATION!

twow: You don’t NEED twenty different ways to say one word! Just say cum!

The final semen spurts lacked the strength to hit the griffon and landed on the floor, just short of their target. Berry sat there clutching his slick stallionhood as a thin line of cum dribbled from his tip onto the ground. The pink pony's heart pounded in his chest as the full impact of his climax hit him.

Gilda: That’ll be the heart attack coming along.

twow: Ouch.

Gideon lay tied to the table, panting with his mouth open. The griffon couldn't see anything, as his entire face was coated in a thick layer of stallion spunk. Berry's viscous jizz dripped down the tips of Gideon's feathers as more of the gooey mess ran down his beak and spilled out of his mouth. A sizable puddle of semen had formed below the griffon's head, which spilled off the table and onto the floor.

Pinkamena: I refuse to clean that up.

twow: Hell, I wouldn’t touch that with a 42 and a half foot pole.

Gilda: Still too small.

Berry fell onto his back, with a satisfied smile on his face. For a moment, the only noises heard were the dripping sounds of jizz landing in a puddle on the floor and Gideon's labored breathing.

When the griffon succeeded in catching his breath, he spoke to the stallion, flecks of cum spraying from his mouth as he talked.

twow: Dude! Say it, don’t spray it!

"Bubble Berry," Gideon said, panting, "You are so random." The stallion gave a silly laugh and snorted, before sitting up to look at the griffon soaked in stallion seed.

Dash: (from TV) That’s MY line!

Berry walked up and placed his tongue over one of Gideon's closed eyes. The pony licked his cum off of the griffon's left eye area, then did the same for his right. Gideon opened his eyes and stared at the stallion. Berry looked at the two eyes staring at him through a mask of semen.

Gilda: If I ever saw that coming at me, I would hide.

twow: I’d shoot it. A lot.

"You look like a superhero," Berry said smiling, "Gideon is a hot-tempered griffon by day; but at night he transforms into Equestria's mightiest hero, the Cum-caked Crusader!"

"Ha ha," Gideon said, mirthlessly, "I'm defender of the dickless and a bane to ass bandits everywhere."

Pinkamena: If I was in a situation where only he could save me from certain death, I hope that I have my will written.

"Now you're starting to get into the spirit of things!" Berry said happily as he walked over to reset the burglar alarm. With the push of a button, the ropes released their captive and reloaded themselves for later.

twow: What if one of the Cakes forgets their key and has to break in? Is Berry gonna fuck them also?

Gilda: At this rate? Only if it’s the male.

Gideon sat up on the table and used his claws to wipe off as much of the cum from his face as possible. Berry approached the griffon with a seductive hunger in his eyes. The stallion opened his mouth as he rested his hooves on Gideon's legs.

Pinkamena: How is he still horny?

Gilda: I’m afraid of the answer.

Without a word the pink pony put his lips around the griffon's cum-covered claws. Berry sucked hard as he ran his tongue along Gideon's talons. One of the sharp points nicked Berry's tongue, causing it to bleed.

"Be careful. They're sharp," Gideon said, as he enjoyed the sensation of the stallion's caressing tongue. No one had ever sucked on his claws before. It felt nice.

twow: Probably because they’re SHARP.

Pinkamena: Because I would totally wrap my lips around someone’s claws.

After Berry finished the first claw, he moved on to the other one and licked its talons, while making sure to suck off all of his gooey stallion cum. When the stallion finished, he affectionately laid his head on Gideon's lap. The griffon stroked the stallion's mane gently as the first rays of the morning sun crept up over the windowsill.

Gilda: So, I guess that whole “revenge” plan is out the window now then.

twow: Eh. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Seeing the dawn of a new day caused the pink pony to feel a sudden burst of energy. Berry shot up from the griffon's lap and trotted into the kitchen.

twow: Pinkie’s powered by the sun.

Pinkamena: Solar power works the best.

"So Gideon, do you wanna' stay for breakfast?" the perky stallion asked. The griffon blushed as he watched Berry's tail swish back and forth as the pony looked for pans.

"Nah, I'll be alright," Gideon said, turning his head to look out the window, "I'll just go catch a small mammal, or something."

Gilda: Well, that was bold to say right in front of someone that probably wouldn’t like that.

twow: I doubt it. Now if it was FLUTTERSHY.

Pinkamena: As twow puts it, “the gates of hell would open.”

"Suit yourself," Berry said as he pulled out his special cooking apron he wore when the Cake's were away. At the top of the apron it said in big, bold red letters: SUCK THE CHEF. Below the words was a red arrow pointing down to a round hole in the apron. Gideon chuckled at the silly pink pervert.

Pinkamena: What’s the point of an apron you can’t wear around other ponies?

twow: The novelty factor?

Pinkamena: Still though. That seems rather pointless to own if you have to hide it.

"A fudge factory as nice as yours is always welcome here at Sugarlump Corner," Berry said, as he tied his apron on and donned a floppy chef's hat, "I expect to see you back here again."

"You-you do?" Gideon asked.

"Yeah!" Berry said, "I swallowed your bird seed twice last night, so you still owe me another orgasm. Berry Jr. wants to fire the party cannon again!"

twow: I think Berry Jr needs to just stay in bed.

Gilda: For a long time.

"I promise I'll make it up to Berry Jr." Gideon said, smiling awkwardly.

"Super!" Berry said, his face lighting up, "I'll try to get Rainbow Blitz to join us next time."

"You'd be willing to help patch things up between us?" Gideon asked, in a hopeful tone.

Pinkamena: At least that’s one part of me that isn’t wrong.

"I never wanted to come between you two," Berry said, setting up an obvious joke, "All I really wanted was to cum between you two." The two males both shared a mild chuckle.

Pinkamena: UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

twow: Wow. That was worse than mine.

Gilda: I don’t even DO puns and that hurt.

Bubble Berry had shown the gruff griffon levels of forgiveness and friendship that he had never experienced before. Gideon felt a lump form in his throat as he watched the happy stallion cook breakfast. Berry truly was the nicest stallion the griffon had ever met.

twow: Now think back to when you hated him. Feel that? It’s called guilt.

As he was about to leave out the window, Gideon stopped himself to take a last look at Berry. The stallion was shaking his butt and whistling as he went about making pancakes. His floppy white chef's hat bounced along to his movements.

twow: “I like big-”

Pinkamena: twow?

twow: Yes?

Pinkamena: Do you really want to finish that?

twow: Not anymore.

"Hey Berry." Gideon said, hesitantly.

"Yeah?" Berry asked, cheerfully as he continued to cook.

"You're not a lame-o." the griffon said, lovingly.

Gilda: Why is there love? Why is there love?!

Berry paused as the words sunk into his heart. The stallion swallowed hard as a happy tear formed in the corner of his eye.

"I know." Berry said, solemnly, "but it means a lot to hear you say it."

Gilda: You’re...welcome?

twow: So it only took Berry pretty much raping him to figure it out.

Pinkamena: At least it’s over. (mane poofs back out)

twow: Great! Let’s get the hell out!

Dash: (from TV) Pinkie? Are you alright now?

Pinkie: Yup! Sorry about worrying you all! I figured that if I stayed angry that it would be easier for me to riff the story.

Gilda: I’m sorry also Pinkie: I didn’t mean to trigger that.

Pinkie: Look Gilda. Maybe we both really got on the wrong hoof. We could always...try again?

Gilda: Sure. Why not?

twow: I like the fact that we aren’t commenting on how the story was.

Pinkie: It was bad.

Gilda: Downright horrible.

twow: First off, the fact that it was rule 63 threw my ass off hard.

Gilda: Let’s not forget that I was in love with Rainbow.

Dash: Ugh. WHY does everyone think that...

Pinkie: I trapped him on a table!

twow: What I don’t understand is why Gideon was cool after the sex. Like, really?

Gilda: Exactly. I would have had at least a LITTLE problem with it. But, he just lets him off the hook.

twow: And they became friends. ....Okay?

Pinkie: Friendship is magic. Does this count?

twow: Hell no.

Dash: I’m sorry you guys. But at least Pinkie and Gilda made up!

Gilda: I guess that’s a plus.

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

Gilda: Nice meeting you twow. And Pinkie, maybe we could hang out. Minus the me messing with you.

Pinkie: I’d like that.

(Gilda flies out of the lab)

twow: Well, time to get back to work on my inter-dimensional portal.

Pinkie: Oh! Are you gonna go back to the tree place?!

twow: Maybe?

Pinkie: Let’s go! Hit the button Dashie.

Dash: This is why I stay away from your lab twow.

(Dash hits the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Candies

Well, this is a new one.

After my “Marshmallow Holes” riff, Bronystories contacted me when I had mentioned riffing with him in the riff. He put forth the idea of collab riffing with him in an upcoming story he has and I was on board. The other day though, he got a hold of me with a story we could riff now. And seeing as how I wasn’t busy and was excited to riff, why not?

This story is called Candiesand is a lazy, shameless rip-off of the infamous “Cupcakes.” Perfect for the two of us to tear apart, don’cha think?

I present to you now, Candies.

twow: So, get this Bon Bon. Candy that tastes like the rainbow.

Bon Bon: I thought rainbows were spicy.

twow: That’s the point. We’ll have spicy flavors, sweet flavors...

Lyra: If it’s in one candy that looks like a rainbow, how are you going to keep the flavor from mashing together and tasting gross?

twow: I’ll increase the flavor of one individual color and tailor the rest so that it tastes alright.

Lyra: Sounds like a lot of work.

twow: It’ll be worth it.

Pinkie: (from TV) Can I have all of the spicy ones?

twow: No. Mine. What’s up Pinkie?

Pinkie: Well, I got a hold of someone that you had wanted to talk to before!

twow: And that would be...

Pinkie: He’s coming right now! I can’t spoil the surprise!

(All three turn to the lab doors as Bronystories enters the lab)

twow: Pinkie, I CAN’T.

BS: What did I miss?

Lyra: twow’s been trying to convince Bon Bon to help him with a new type of candy.

twow: Hm. No freakout at another human Lyra?

Lyra: Wait for it...

Bon Bon: I was thinking the slogan could be “Taste the Rainbow.”

BS: It’s been done.

Bon Bon: Well, shoot.

twow: Pinkie, why is Bronystories here again?

(The lab doors shut and lock)

Pinkie: You had said that you wanted to riff with him! So here he is!

twow: What’s the story?

Pinkie: It’s called “Candies!”

Lyra: Wait, did he even write that one?

BS: No. I may write some of the most perverted stories in the fandom, but even I wouldn’t stoop so low as to rip off Cupcakes.

twow: Ewwww.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Candies

With A Hint Of Ponies

twow: 99 cents each.

 "I'm running low on supplies," said Bon Bon, prancing around her mini bakery. It has been 2 months since Bon Bon opened her candy store, named "Candies For Ponies".

BS: Contender for the most obviously-named business award; right behind “Hospital for the sick” and “Dane Cook’s Comedy Club for the Criminally insane.”

She thought that it is a very good name, and kept bragging to her friend Lyra that her business would hit the charts and she would live and sell her candies someday in Chicacolt, Fillynois.

twow: That one hurts.

BS: Is that supposed to be the pony equivalent of China, Illinois? If so, why would Bon Bon want to sell her candies where the worst school in America is located?

Lyra: Maybe candy makes everything better?

Little did she knew that "Candies For Ponies" would be renamed

"Candies With Ponies".

BS: If "Candies with Ponies" is candy made fromponies, then does that mean "Men without Hats" are men who aren'tmade out of hats?

Bon Bon: You can make men from hats? Don’t let Lyra hear about this.

Lyra: Too late. I’ve already made plans to stop by a haberdasher once we’re done       with this riff.

BS: Did you know that “Safety Dance” was written as an anthem promoting condom use? True story.

twow: I believe that.

But first she needs the "supplies".

twow: The ones that came from beneath the sink.

Lyra: Or in this case, beneath the skin.

Lyra is currently practicing her new piece, The Ballad Of the Humans, in her lyre when she suddenly remembered that she is supposed to meet with Bon Bon in her oh-so-famous candy store.

twow: Da hell? Did my old friend Tense Change arrive?

BS: I’m typically not one to poke fun at a spelling error, since they can happen to everyone. Besides, the letter ‘I’ and ‘O’ are right beside each other on the keyboard, so it was an honest mistake. With that being said, when the error changes the meaning to something unintentionally funny, I have no problem pointing that out.

Bon Bon: All right. Enough build up. What’s the riff?

BS: Lyra’s practicing her ballad insideher lyre? It must be really big if she can fit inside it!

Bon Bon: Was it worth it?

BS: Yes.

Lyra: Take a moment to breathe.

 Bon Bon said that she needs some supplies that needs to be fresh, so they will be going to the clearing by the Everfree Forest, in search for some mint leaves, and other herbs for her new recipe. At first Lyra is hesitant because, who the hell put herbs in ones candy?

twow: Have you never heard of medicinal candy?

BS: What Lyra didn’t know was that Bon Bon was planning to butcher their neighbor, Herb Muddlefoot.

Lyra: Does that mean Bon Bon’s really Darkwing Duck?

Bon Bon: Let’s get... back to the story.

 But she didn't asked, because that's what friends are for, right?

Lyra: Friends still ask if they don’t understand.

 "UGH," Bon Bon said, eyes twitching rapidly, "why is it that the ingredients for this recipe are too hard to find?!"

twow: Because you’re in the EVERFREE.

Bon Bon: Unobtanium? Now where am I supposed to find that?

"Um Bon Bon,"-said Lyra turning to her friend- "maybe we should just give up. I'm kinda hungry too."

"Why of course my dear Lyra. I have a new candy, wanna try it?" exclaimed Bon Bon in delight, eyes twitching as she turned to her friend.  She reached for her saddlebag and got some candies that wrapped into an unusual kind of plastic.

BS: It was a chocolate-dipped banana wrapped in a condom.

twow: Sounds good.

"Let me know what you think of it." said Bon Bon with a grin on her face.

Lyra took the candy and smelled it. It smells funny, but who cares?! She is hungry, nopony can think on an empty stomach right?

Lyra: I’m not going to eat something that smells weird! I don’t care how hungry I am!

twow: You have a limited brain according to this.

"Wow, this is really good, Bon Bon. It will surely make your business go into, like, BOOM!

BS: With the “likes” and the “booms,” Lyra’s slowly turning into Maynard G. Krebs.

Bon Bon: Who?

BS: Gilligan before he was Gilligan.

But I kinda feel fuuzzy.. *Yawn* Welp, I guess it's nap time for me. I'm just going to sleep right here... In.. this.. tree.." *SLAM* said Lyra as she fell into a peaceful slumber.

twow: How did she say “slam” while she was passing out?

BS: Maybe she’s like the guy from the Police Academy movies who did all the wacky sound effects.

"Good." Bon Bon stated.

"*Yawn* Huh?! I can't strech my legs. What the- why am I strapped?" exclaimed Lyra, trying to get of the straps.

Lyra: “Why am I strapped?”

BS: Yeah. You’re strapped for cash. Bon Bon drugged you and stole all your money to buy her ingredients.

twow: Either that or Bon Bon’s into bondage.

 Unable to break free, she just studied the room for some buttons or knives that will hopefully help her to break free. She monitored the room, but all she see are ovens, pans, etc. It seems like a kitchen, she thought. She seems to be atop of a cold table.

twow: You’re clearly in the living room. Duh.

BS: Either that, or Chef Ramsey is about to make his appearance in an unexpected human/pony crossover clopfic.

Then she heard hoovesteps.

"So, is my friend ready to make some candies with me?" Said Bon Bon, mane extremely wet, a little paler than usual. She appeared out of nowhere, candies in her left hoof.

BS: How does one get her mane “extremely wet?”

Bon Bon: You have to go skateboarding in a tsunami.

twow: I’m not going to question how that works.

"Oh hey Bon Bon, why am I strapped? And what do you mean by making some candies with you? I thought we are just going for some herb hunting?" said Lyra in a confused manner, eyeing on Bon Bon who is munching on some red colored candies.

BS: Guys, I think those last couple sentences broke me. Have fun riffing the rest without me. Bye!

Lyra: You get back here!

As soon as Bon Bon is finished munching on the candy, she walked over to a countertop and started reading a book.

BS: “To Serve Ponies.”

Lyra: It’s a cookbook! It’s a cookbook!

"So, for our newest recipe, mint candies." Bon Bon said as she grins.

"Umm Bon Bon, this isn't funny."

"Oh yes, this isn't funny because I am not joking." Bon Bon said, with a hint annoyance in her tone. She grabbed a packing tape and sticked it to Lyra's mouth, making her unable to speak.

twow: “I’m reading a book.”

Bon Bon: “Don’t you ever interrupt me when I’m reading a book!”

Lyra: You sound like Twilight.

"There, now stop talking. You're ruining my concentration." she added. Now she went back on reading the recipe book, then proceeded on reading it aloud.

MINT CANDY

8 oz. mint leaves, crushed

2 cups boiling water

2 lbs. sugar

1 egg white

Bon Bon: No milk? No shortening? Are you trying to make these candies inedible?

BS: Why am I picturing a sequel where Paula Deen comes to Ponyville and tries to cook ponies?

twow: “Candies 2: Revenge of the Paula”

Lyra: Paula thinks that Fluttershy is made of butter and obsesses over her.

"Hehe. This would be pretty quick." exclaimed Bon Bon. She grabbed a scissor and knife from the cabinet and trotted towards Lyra.

Lyra, still in state of shock, couldn't say a word. All you can hear from her are muffled words.

Lyra: I couldn’t have said a word anyway. Remember the gag?

BS: “All I can hear?” When did I get roped into this story? Is this second person now?

twow: Hai tense change!

"In a 1 quart Thermos, add crushed mint leaves." Bon Bon said, grabbing her scissors and started on cutting Lyra's mane. She even accidentally cut her right eye, leaving it bleeding.

twow: Bullshit. You did NOT just accidentally cut her fucking eye.

BS: That reminds me... I still need to finish Pipsqueak’s story arc in the last chapter of 120 Days of Blueblood.

twow: That thing is gonna hurt to solo...

"Oh sorry, dear friend. I didn't meant to hurt you. Oh my, what would my customers say if my ingredients are not fresh?!" She said as she walked to a nearby counter top, getting a rag socked with lemon juices.

twow: You better be “socking” that rag up.

Lyra: Sounds like something Pinkie would do.

BS: Lemon-scented socks would leave your feet smelling fresh!

 She wiped the blood at Lyra's eye, but because of the citrus effect, left it in an excruciating pain. Lyra, now crying, mixed the tears of her eyes with blood and lemon juice.

twow: Wow. Bon Bon is being quite the bitch.

Bon Bon: Hey!

twow: Lemon juice in the EYE.

Bon Bon: But she’s nothing like me! In fact, she’s so unlike me, we may as well call her “Non Bon.”

"Thank you for another ingredient, Lyra. I appreciate the effort." Bon Bon put away the rag and trotted to a stove and tested if it was working.

BS: Judging by the intellect the Non Bon has shown thus far, I wouldn’t be surprised if she stuck her face on the stovetop to test if it was on.

"It seems like it isn't working. Oh well, I need to improvise." She trotted to Lyra, and to Lyra's surprise, the table she is laying at is not really a table. It is a grill.

(like that of Spongebob's)

Bon Bon: What’s Spongebob?

BS: A show Merriwether Williams used to work on. She’s the same person who wrote Spike at Your Service.

Lyra: Somehow that makes this situation even more terrifying.

Bon Bon opened it at full power, causing it to heat up quickly, making Lyra's back burnt. She pulled out the tape at Lyra's mouth, making the unicorn wince in pain. Her mouth is bleeding and her upper lip is stuck at the tape.

twow: I can’t handle all these tense changes!

Lyra: What is she DOING to me?

(Bronystories and Bon Bon break out into spontaneous song.)

BS: She wants her baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back...

Bon Bon: LYRA’S BABY BACK RIBS!

BS: ...and barbeque sauce.

twow: Well, they’ve broken.

"Hmmm. Looks delicious to me." Bon Bon munched on the upper lip of Lyra's. Lyra couldn't and wouldn't look. It was too disgusting.

twow: I hope Lyra put on some ChapStick first.

Bon Bon is munching happily on Lyra's now dis attached mouth. She could savor the blood on it; it taste like metal, only wet and thick. The meat of it dancing inside her mouth, making it pleasurable for her. She could feel every fiber of the meat playing with her tongue. She want it. More.

Lyra: She’s toasting my back and eating my face.

twow: Kinky. (smacked by Lyra)

BS: It tasted like metal, only wet and thick? That’s not Lyra! That’s the T-1000!

Bon Bon: That would be an unexpected twist.

She took her knife and sliced Lyra's lower lip, making it bleed continuously. Lyra, now freed from the tape, could taste her own blood. She spit it at disgust, accidentally hitting Bon Bon at the eye.

Lyra: No, I’m sure I would have done that on purpose.

twow: And then Non Bon would have drank it.

"Why you! I'm going to cut your tongue you hoe!" Bon Bon then took her scissor and cut Lyra's tongue, causing the unicorn to choke more because of the blood gushing from her mouth making it's way through her throat. She is gasping for air.

twow: I’m getting rather tense because of this tense changes. (smacked by everyone.)

Bon Bon: That was bad and you should feel bad.

"Now, back to business. In a 1 quart Thermos, add crushed mint leaves. Pour over 2 cups boiling water and allow the mint to steep for several hours.. Hmm, I think I'm going to rush this." With that, she shoved the ingredients to Lyra's hollow mouth, making the blood a substitute for water.

BS: Hollow mouth? Hollow mouth?! I... I... there are no words.

twow: That left YOU at a loss for words? Well, we’re fucked.

BS: It has more to do with the clumsy word choices than anything else.

"Strain the leaves and discard, reserving the mint water. Measure out 1 pint of mint water, adding extra water to equal 1 pint, if needed." She don't care about the "leaves" anymore. In fact, it could make the candy tastier, Bon Bon thought.

twow: “I don’t need that shit!”

 As for the water, she made way to the counter top and grabbed the rag from before, then squished it so the "water" can be extracted from the rag.

BS: Was the rag still “socked” with lemon juice?

Lyra: I wouldn’t be surprised.

'Why Bon Bon? Why?' Is the only thought that comes to Lyra's mind. The excruciating pain. Pains which are mixed with the burning of her back, the feeling of gasping for air, and the pain of being betrayed and used by your own friend in a disgusting and gross manner.

BS: Hey, twow, they’re talking about us whenever you riff one of my stories.

twow: Wow. They got me pegged.

BS: That reminds me. I need to write a sequel to Pin the Tail on the Griffin. (Excellent riffing of the original, by the way.)

twow: Where’s my laser pistol?!

BS: It’s in the dark. Right next to Bubble Berry’s party cannon. Just grope around in the dark. I’m sure you’ll find it eventually.

twow: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!

Heck, this could even kill me. No, THIS will surely kill me. Thought Lyra.

Lyra: I JUST figured that out?

BS: Did Non Bon give you a lobotomy at one point?

"When the liquid has cooled to room temperature, add the beaten white of one egg and 2 lbs. sugar. Let's see, egg and sugar. Maybe the egg shell and the plastic covering of sugar counts, too."

twow: Put this shit on the Food Network.

BS: It’s still more entertaining than Cupcake Wars.

 She then trotted to the cupboard and grabbed some eggs and 1 kilo sugar, and then stuffed it to Lyra's now hollowed mouth.

Lyra: Yes. My mouth is hollow! WE GET IT!

BS: The writer must really like that word. There are so many other words you could use to convey that something is empty; like infundibular.

Bon Bon: What are you, a thesaurus?

twow: Have you seen his lexicon for genetalia?

BS: “She moaned as his eager icicle entered her inviting, infundibular igloo.”

twow: Dear God.

"In a heavy bottomed saucepan, boil the mixture slowly until thick, skimming off any foam that rises to the surface. Well it seems like it has foams. And also it looks like thick." Said Bon Bon as she observed the blood on Lyra's mouth.

twow: She sounds like she’s in the second grade.

Bon Bon: That’s an insult to second graders everywhere!

Lyra: Also, I didn’t know that’s what thick looked like.

"Test the candy by dropping a small amount from a spoon into a cup of cold water. When it hardens quickly, it is done." She grabbed a giant shovel (magically appeared) then shoved it to Lyra's mouth, barely catching any mixture. She licked it.

twow: How did she lick it?! YOU CUT HER FUCKING TONGUE OUT!!!!

 I seems very good.

twow: Something is going to be stabbed.

Bon Bon: twow, relax. You’re scaring me.

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) I can tell he’s mad, because his font changed.

Lyra: Stop breaking the fourth wall!

"Pour onto shallow edged buttered baking sheets." She emptied Lyra's mouth, forcing Lyra's head to turn 360 degrees, making it crack.

Lyra: You twisted my head off!

BS: Let’s be fair here. Your head’s still attached. She just broke your neck is all.

"There. Now, I didn't realized you had a horn.

Lyra and Bon Bon: NO!

Silly me. I wonder if it would make a good candy. Oh well, might as well cut it now." She suddenly appeared with a large chainsaw.

BS, twow, Lyra and Bon Bon: Hey, hey, hey! Stay out of my shed!

She ripped the other mare's horn , but accidentally ripped her apart. She watched as Lyra's internal organs make its way outside. Her intestines, liver, and her heart. Lyra, her "friend" is now an abiotic factor in the environment.

BS: Now we see where all the research budget went for this story. A consistent narrative tense can go to Hell, so long as “abiotic” gets shoehorned in somehow.

twow: Seems legit.

"Mark off in small squares and set aside to cool." She sliced her companion's body into tiny squares, sending blood all over the room. She managed to catch some of it via her mouth and chewed on the tiny bits.

twow: I will say this, at least Non Bon doesn’t make horrible puns.

"When cold, break it up into small pieces and wrap in wax paper. Store in an airtight container." Bon Bon, wrapped Lyra's bits in her own skin. she stuffed it, and ripped, and closed it by sewing it. Done, she stored it in her shed.

Lyra: If she doesn’t refrigerate that, it’s gonna smell AWFUL.

"This would make good candies for Nightmare Night." She said with a cackle.

twow: Or some great nightmare fuel.

Candies for Ponies.

Lyra: If you eat them, are you an accessory to murder?

twow: I have no idea.

BS: Well,that was Candies. A sorry imitation of a sorry shockfic. What were everyone’s final thoughts?

twow: It failed at its job.

Lyra: If that was supposed to be like Cupcakes the author had clearly never read the original.

Bon Bon: I’m rather happy that it wasn’t very detailed throughout it.

twow: And the author needs to learn how to grammar. I mean really.

BS: Lyra may have played the victim in this story, but at the end of the day, the English language was the only one butchered.

twow: Butchered, sliced, diced...

Pinkie: (from TV) Didn’t you all have fun though?

BS: It was prime fodder for riffing. My advice to the author is to get some help proofreading her stories. Otherwise, I have a feeling our paths may cross again...

twow: It’s very possible. Alright, I’m sure you have some more wonderful stories that you need to go write that I’ll end up riffing.

BS: Lyra, Bon Bon, twow. It’s been fun, but I’ve got to go. Thanks for including me!

(The lab doors open and unlock)

Lyra: Hold on a moment. Fallen and twow wouldn’t tell me the whole deal with humans and them having a sheathless pe-

twow: Pinkie, hit the fucking button now!

BS: No, wait!

(Pinkie pushes the button and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Taming of the Screw

It’s time like this that I look back to when I made my account on Fimfic. And wish I could go back to that.

Either way, we’re back. With another story that I didn’t read AND it’s from Bronystories. I swear, he must think I’m actually good at this riffing stuff. Either way, he requested that I riff another one of his stories so I decided to give it a shot.

This story is called Taming of the Screwand is actually going though a rewrite. BS told me that the first chapter had been rewritten already, so that’s what we’re tackling today.

And as always, I haven’t read the story. That always ends well.

I bring to you, Taming of the Screw. Oh boy.

twow: I think I might have just outdone myself here.

Fluttershy: Does...that sniper shoot electricity now??!

twow: Not only that, you can switch between fire, electricity, and corrosion at will.

Derpy: twow, what is the POINT?!

twow: Well, I was gonna give this one to Fallen, and create another one for Flutters.

Fluttershy: Oh, thank you.

twow: It’s not a problem.

Derpy: Speaking of guns, did you ever finish up my muffin cannon?

twow: No, I had to create another bass cannon for Vinyl. She kinda destroyed hers.

Fluttershy: I don’t want to know how.

Pinkie: (from TV) And you still need to make me my oven gun T!

Derpy: Wha...

twow: It’s a portable oven. I swear, you ponies and your weapons...

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

twow: ...will never compare to Pinkie and her pranks. What are you hitting us with now Pinkie?

Pinkie: It’s from your favorite author T!

twow: Regidar?

Pinkie: Don’t lie T! It’s from Bronystories!

twow: OH JOY.

Fluttershy: Can I leave now?

twow: You’ve never been here for one of his stories. How are you already breaking?

Fluttershy: Rarity...

Derpy: Oh right. Did she really look like a pincushion?

twow: BAD MEMORY.

Pinkie: This one’s called “Taming of the Screw!”

Derpy: Usually I’d say that doesn’t sound bad...

twow: But then you stop, think about the last two times you said that, and move on.

Fluttershy: Umm, maybe this won’t be bad?

twow: Flutters, I love ya, but you might have just fucked us all.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

It was nighttime at Ponyville General, after regular hospital hours.

twow: As opposed to it having regular hours at night.

Derpy: It was probably midnight.

 Allthe patients were asleep.

twow: I think that space got lost in translation.

 Well, all except for one. An ominous howl rang out through the night. Inside the hospital, two ponies walked down a sterile corridor.

Fluttershy: Are they keeping dogs in the hospital?

twow: Something tells me that question is gonna suck if it’s answered.

Two night guards were on patrol. A stocky, muscle-bound earth pony was on the left. His mane was a short, sandy-blond-color. He had a light-brown coat and a white shirt with a name badge. It read "Straight Lace: Hospital Security."

Derpy: “Not all signs are legit.”

twow: “Object on this badge are closer than they appear.”

 A two-way radio was clipped to his shirt. Straight Lace also wore a belt that had several necessities he might need while on duty. The guard pony's cutie mark depicted a laced-up straight jacket with a red cross on top of it.

twow: Maybe he works for Red Heart.

Fluttershy: Like the nurse?

twow: It’s something on Earth Flutters.

Beside him trotted another stallion. Unlike the steely-eyed Straight Lace, the earth pony on the right had a more apprehensive expression. The bangs of his brown mane hung down until they nearly brushed against his eyebrows.

Derpy: “I really need to cut my hair...”

 His coat was a stone-gray color. He had the same uniform as Straight Lace, except for the belt. The other guard pony's name was Shocker. His cutie mark depicted a metal headset, with sparks of electricity emanating from it.

twow: Well, that was a shock. (smacked by Derpy)

As the guards walked down the hall, the howling got louder. The two ponies stopped outside a white door with a tiny glass window. On the door was a card with the name of the patient and their ailment. For this pony the card simply read 'Name: Screw Loose. Treated for: Dementia.'

Fluttershy: Because a pony with the name “Screw Loose” is going to be in control of her mind.

twow: Shouldn’t that sign say “Diagnosed” with Dementia?

Straight Lace scoffed as he read the words 'treated for.' the guard knew that even on her good days Screw Loose was as crazy as Discord.

Derpy: Then what are her BAD days like?!

 There was no cure for this pony. As far as Straight Lace was concerned, this patient was good for only one thing. Sex.

All: ...

twow: This is gonna be one of those stories...

Taking out his key ring, the brown stallion unlocked the cell door. As the two guards stepped inside, Shocker scanned the room. Before tonight, he had only walked by this cell in passing. What met Shocker's eyes was a room with padded, rubber walls. The floor was rubber.

Derpy: As opposed to wood?

twow: I thought it was tile.

 Aside from the small window at the door, the only other view was a narrow window on the back wall  in the top right corner. A full moon was visible from outside illuminating the pony in the corner.

Fluttershy: Something tells me that Luna’s not doing her job...

twow: Sure she is. These ponies aren’t asleep.

Below the window was Screw Loose. A sky-blue earth pony with an unkempt white mane. She had been the source of the howlings at night. The deluded mare was under the impression that she was a dog. Here cutie mark was an image of a screw.

twow: “Here cutie mark! Here!”

Fluttershy: “There’s a good mark!”

Being a danger to herself and others, extreme safety precautions were enacted. After biting an orderly during an escape attempt, Screw Loose was fitted with a grated metal mask to prevent further attacks.

Derpy: But...she just wanted the doggy treats.

twow: I ate them all. Tasted like bacon.

To stop her from removing the mask, the blue mare was placed in a straight jacket. As a pony, this made moving around quite inconvenient. Fortunately for Screw Loose, she didn't get out that much anyway.

Fluttershy: I doubted that anyway.

Derpy: Especially if she thinks she’s a dog.

twow: That must suck for her. Dogs want to run and be free.

The mare's hind legs were standing straight. Her fore-hooves were tied tight around her chest, which forced her head to lay against the ground. Her position made her look more like a slide at a playground, rather than a pony.

twow: Don’t let her touch your kids.

When the two guards walked in on Screw Loose, the smell made them wrinkle their noses. The mare had her butt up against the wall. She was panting heavily as she rubbed her privates vigorously against the rubber wall. Her feminine odors permeated the room.

Derpy: Oh, we’re gonna have a great time with this.

Fluttershy: LET ME OUT!!!

"Hey girl," Straight Lace said, beaming at her. Screw Loose hadn't acknowledged the presence of the guards yet. She was too engrossed in the wall, Her pussy rubbed against its rubber surface faster and faster, while her tongue lolled in her mouth and her eyes darted about the room, unfocused.

twow: She’s pulling a Derpy. (smacked by Derpy)

"I'm telling you, Shocks," Straight Lace said, "She may be crazy, but she's a great lay. I'm convinced that the reason why her cutie mark is a screw is because her special talent is screwing."

Fluttershy: There is so many things wrong with that sentence.

twow: You mean besides the pun?

Derpy: He has a point though. What else could that mark MEAN?

"I don't think this is right," Shocker said, taking a step away from the mare.

All: It’s NOT!

"Don't tell me you're chickening out now," Straight Lace said, sternly, "It's like I told you. We're doing her a favor. She thinks she's a bitch in heat. She acts like one, so we'll treat her like one."

"But she thinks she's a dog." Shocker said, "Isn't this borderline bestiality?"

twow: Maybe? Flutt-

Fluttershy: YES!!!

twow: Oh boy.

"You don't know how bad she's craving a firm stallion cock shoved up her snatch." Straight Lace said, his mouth watering.

twow: Egh.

Derpy: How do YOU know she wants it?!

When the door closed, it look a minute to register in Screw Loose's mind. The mare's eyes darted around, wildly. When she finally noticed the guards, she made a series of barks and wagged her tail.

twow: “Give me my fucking bacon treats!”

The blue pony moved her wet pussy lips away from the padded wall. She started pushing herself forward on the ground towards the guards. Her protective face mask was collecting loose hairs and dust as her face scooted across the ground.

Fluttershy: That can’t feel good at ALL.

She stood there facing them, her tail wagging rapidly. She raised her tail higher in order to make her privates more accessible.

twow: Well Derpy, that answered your question.

Derpy: Can I PLEASE eviscerate the author? Please?!

"She has a difficult time turning in place." Straight Lace said, chuckling, "We'd better meet her half way." Straight Lace sat down in front of Screw Loose. The stallion spit on his member and began to stroke it. Screw Loose stared at the cock, then started to pant.

Fluttershy: Dogs don’t usually do that at the sight of a penis.

twow: ...

Derpy: twow, are you alright?

"We can take her together." the brown stallion said, "Go ahead and get her ass nice and loose."

Shocker walked around and stared at the blue mare's backside. It was hard to see anything with her constant tail wagging. The gray stallion finally had to bring a hoof down on her butt to hold her tail in place.

twow: “Spank dat ass!”

Fluttershy: He seems fine now.

Derpy: I don’t know...

Shocker stared at her vagina. It was wet and twitching with anticipation. He was turned off by the fact that Screw Loose was quite dirty. It didn't look like anypony had bathed her in weeks.

Her pussy lips were red and puffy, most likely caused from the repeated rubbing against the rubber walls.

twow: Wouldn’t that leave a rash?!

Derpy: That, and hurt something awful.

Above her vagina was Screw Loose's asshole. Shocker almost threw up in his mouth.

Trace amounts of shit clung to the area around her butthole. Wiping herself was not one of Screw Loose's concerns. Shocker became indignant.

twow: Ya know, I’m sure that you have to TAKE CARE OF YOUR FUCKING PATIENTS!!!

Fluttershy: I take that back. He’s not okay.

Derpy: I don’t know if I’m gonna enjoy it if TWOW breaks. He knows how to use half the weapons in here.

"Filthy bitch," he thought, "The only reason you have conditions as nice as these is because of hard working ponies like me."

All: THAT NICE?!

twow: Is this motherfucker off his meds?!

"I'm not getting my tongue near there," Shocker said, "I'm not in to scat."

"C'mon," Straight Lace said, jokingly. "All she eats is hospital food and guard semen. How bad could it be?"

Derpy: And she’s still alive how?

Fluttershy: Well, she could survive off that. It’s not healthy at all...

"Alright smart ass, why don't you give her the rimjob?" Shocker shot back.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch," Straight Lace said as he opened a compartment on his belt, "I come prepared."

The guard pony handed Shocker a moistened napkin.

Derpy: Should have used a moist towelette.

"Wipe her down with that." Straight Lace said, "Get her asshole as wet as you can."

Shocker placed the napkin on his hoof and began to scrub the dried shit off Screw Loose's ass. She growled and wiggled her hips in protest as the napkin tugged at her coat. After a while though, she stopped resisting. Using the napkin, Shocker rubbed the tip of his hoof in tight circles around her asshole.

twow: Truly an image I wanted in my mind.

While that was going on, Straight Lace teased the mare by holding his cock in front of her. The mare whimpered and stuck her tongue through her mask, trying to touch his member.

Fluttershy: EW!

twow: Why does she want it so...oh....oh no.

 The guard pony gladly obliged, moving his cock close enough for her to lick at his tip with her tongue. Screw Loose lapped up the precum as it leaked out of Straight Lace's dick.

After discarding the shit-stained napkin, Shocker paused to admire his handiwork.

Derpy: “All clean. Mr. Clean.”

"I'm sure her taint's so clean you could eat off it," Straight Lace said, sardonically, "Are you good to go? I'm ready to bust a nut in this crazy bitch."

twow: STOP THE STORY NOW!!

Fluttershy: EEP!

Derpy: Oh dear...

Derpy: twow? What’s wrong?

twow: This fucking story! I know what happened! I know what they did!

Fluttershy: What did they do?

twow: She thinks she’s a dog, right? Do dogs usually spaz at the sight of a dick?

Fluttershy: No...

twow: Right. And remember how natural this seems to Straight Lace?

Derpy: Yeah.

twow: He’s done this before, oh yeah. But the sick part? He’s raped her to the point where it’s all she wants.

Derpy: Oh...

twow: I have a serious problem with rape, for reasons I’d rather not share right now. But this...this hurts.

Fluttershy: It’s because even SHE doesn’t know how bad it is.

twow: Right. Screw Loose’s mindset can barely comprehend rational thought. Now add the part of constantly being raped.

Derpy: Her mind is mostly thinking about sex and being a dog.

twow: And IHATE IT.

Pinkie: (from TV) I’m sorry T!

twow: Not your fault.

Derpy: But twow, this is good for you.

twow: How?

Fluttershy: Because now that you’re angry, you can tear this apart. Like you helped me.

twow: I can’t...

Fluttershy: Yes you can. Please twow.

twow: Every time I read these, my memories come back and they HURT.

Derpy: That’s why you got us. And I know that you can do it.

Fluttershy: We riffed “Momma Fluttershy” together. All three of us.

twow: Well, Fallen WAS there...

(Derpy and Fluttershy hug twow)

twow: Thanks guys. I...I think I’m ready. Let’s tear this a new asshole.

Derpy: That’s the spirit!

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Straight Lace lifted Screw Loose's head from up off the floor.

twow: “Everybody do the dinosaur!”

He pulled her closer and rested her head on his left shoulder.

"Hey, Shocker," Straight Lace said, as the other stallion started to stand up, "Do yourself a favor and rub your dick along her pussy before you stick it in her ass. You can never be too wet."

Fluttershy: Unless you’re drowning.

Taking his friend's advice, Shocker mounted Screw Loose and rubbed his erect cock along her pussy lips. Screw Loose barked and let out a low growl of pleasure.

"Shut her up!" Shocker said, panicking, "Do you want somepony to come in here and find us with her?"

Derpy: Doesn’t she bark all the time?

twow: As far as we know. I don’t THINK they need to be too worried.

"I've never been caught yet." Straight Lace said very casually, "She thinks she's a dog. Ponies expect her to bark all night for no reason."

twow: Eh. Guess I was right.

Fluttershy: And I wish you weren’t.

"Oh," Shocker said, smiling. His stallionhood having been made sufficiently slick, the guard moved his dick away from her pussy lips.

Now that both stallion's cocks were lubed up, they were ready to begin the three-way.

All: BLUH.

Straight Lace leaned forward and placed his hooves on Screw Loose's flanks. He pulled her close, then lowered her slowly. He took his time as he pushed his cock into her sopping hole.

twow: “Just taking his SWEET TIME!”

Derpy: “Get on with it!”

Screw loose panted. Her heart was beating fast. Her tongue lolled in hr mouth as drool dripped onto the front of her straight jacket. Straight Lace pushed Screw Loose down as far as she could go, until the mare bottomed out, sitting on his lap.

Fluttershy: He wasn’t that big then.

twow: DAMN Flutters.

"Oh yeah," Straight Lace said, a feeling of pride and accomplishment swept over him as he stared at the blue snatch that had taken his whole length. "Balls deep and hella tight. It's your turn, Shocks."

Derpy: This’ll be quite the shock. (smacked by the wall)

Shocker had watched as the blue mare was slowly impaled on Straight Lace's member. It made him rock hard. Straight Lace lay on his back and lowered Screw Loose down onto his chest. Shocker now had a perfect view of his target.

twow: “Fire the arrow.”

As he approached her blue asshole, Shocker lined up his cock. He spit on the tip for good measure. Pressing against her butt, Shocker met with fierce resistance. He could tell this hole would not be as wet and welcoming as the one Straight Lace had entered.

Derpy: Maybe because it DOESN’T GO THERE.

twow: Every fucking story I try to understand the concept of anal.

Fluttershy: Have you ever?

twow: NOPE.

Screw Loose was enjoying the sensation of another pony inside her, and happily flexed her vaginal muscles. Her accordion-like walls gripped and squeezed the cock inside her, tighter and tighter. Once she felt something poking at her back door however, she started to growl and clenched her teeth.

Derpy: “That door’s locked for a reason!”

twow: “And the front door’s broken!”

"Straight Lace, I don't know if she likes this." Shocker said nervously.

"She's insane." Straight Lace said, "She doesn't know what she wants. You're gonna' have to show her."

Fluttershy: No, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want it. Growling is a sign of DO NOT WANT.

Looking down at the stubborn sphincter, Shocker pushed again using his fore-hooves to propel himself forward.

The gray stallion watched as his cock head disappeared into Screw Loose's tight ass.

twow: “Batten the hatches, we’re going in hot!”

The blue mare began to bark wildly. She thrashed her hips and rocked side to side, attempting to expel the anal intruder.

Neither of the stallions found the rocking motions unpleasant. On the contrary, they both found them extremely stimulating.

Derpy: That’s usually how sex works.

Fluttershy: Better than that OTHER story.

twow: This is not a conversation I wanna have with two mares.

To prevent himself from losing the progress he'd already made

twow: He hit the Save Block

, Shocker held the mare's butt with both hooves. He grabbed her white tail in his teeth to stop it from flailing wildly. Then for good measure he gave it a tug, pulling several hairs out. Screw Loose let out a yelp.

"That's it," Straight Lace said, "Show the bitch who's boss."

Fluttershy: WATCH YOUR MOUTH.

twow: Something tells me I better watch my swearing...

To make things easier for his friend, Straight Lace knew he needed to stop the mare from thrashing. Wrapping his hooves around Screw Loose's back, Straight Lace pulled her close and pressed her against his chest. He could feel her heart beating rapidly. There was something soothing about the sound.

Derpy: Wait, the heartbeat?

twow: Oh yeah. My little sister would nap on my chest, ear right at my heart.

Fluttershy: Awwww.

Screw Loose tried to move, but Straight Lace's muscular arms prevented her from sitting up. Her eyes darted around the room. She let out a whimper. As he held her tightly, Straight Lace beamed. Restraining ponies was his special talent, after all.

Fluttershy: I don’t see that being useful outside of the hospital.

"Stupid bitch," Shocker said as he spat her tail out of his mouth.

Screw Loose panted heavily as Shocker pushed himself even deeper into her anus. This pain caused her to bark louder. When he pulled his cock back, Shocker saw blood trickle out of Screw Loose's ass. Remembering that nopony would check on the noise, Shocker thrust back in a little more. A thin line of blood slid down the mare's blue thighs as the stallion pressed further and further into her wounded anal canal.

All: (wince)

Derpy: He’s hurting her!

twow: All he cares about is getting off. Like he gives a fuck about Screw.

Screw Loose let out a yelp followed by several whimpers. She strained her rectal muscles, in a vain attempt to dislodge the searing shaft. Her cries of anguished pain fell on deaf ears. All the mare's efforts succeeded only in further pleasuring Shocker.

"I think I'm ready to go," Shocker said, "thanks for being patient with me."

Fluttershy: YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

twow:BURN IN HELL.

Derpy: I...I’m gonna go eat a muffin...

"I can't complain," Straight Lace said with a bemused smile, "This horny bitch has been grippin' my cock like a vice the whole time."

Now that the two stallions were sufficiently deep into their respective holes, the screwing of Screw Loose could now commence.

twow: Wait, they didn’t start?!

Derpy: They are now.

twow: Fuuuuuuuuuu-

Shocker lay on Screw Loose's back; the mare was sandwiched between two guard ponies. When Shocker pulled his dick back, Screw Loose's asshole kept such a tight grip on it that her sphincter clung on, stretching out slightly. This was only for a brief time, as Screw Loose's asshole was forced to retreat back in when Shocker rammed his cock deeper.

twow: It’s like Tug-of-War.

Fluttershy: But with two horrible stallions and an insane mare.

The sensation of being filled by two stallions at once was a new sensation for Screw Loose. She tried to process these new sensations and emotions, but her brain was inadequate for the task.

If the anal penetration was still painful to Screw Loose, she no longer showed it. The mare just kept panting, interspersed with a "yip!" whenever one of her holes was thrust into.

twow: Earning those dog treats. (smacked by Fluttershy)

Straight Lace had to admit that he found her constant drooling all over his face a little off-putting.

"My face is wetter than the winner of a dyke-eating contest," he said.

Derpy: Would have been content never knowing that.

Not content to just lie on the ground, Straight Lace began to thrust up. Screw Loose barked constantly now.

"Oooh, puppy likes that," the brown stallion said, "I think she's about to cum." Straight Lace pounded harder and faster. He could feel his own orgasm building. He wanted to try and come with Screw Loose.

Fluttershy: Wait, can he even do that?

Derpy: Sure! It just takes extreme...

twow: TIMING!

"I've bottomed out," Shocker said, excitedly, "Screw Loose's name is misleading, because she's the tightest screw I've ever had! Her ass won't stop jerking my cock!"

Fluttershy: Maybe she’ll JERK IT OFF.

twow: Flutters...hold on to your brain.

Screw Loose was becoming more of a participant in the proceedings. She rubbed her clit fiercely against Straight Lace's crotch. He returned in kind by using his hulking member to explore every facet of her love tunnel.

twow: Personally, I prefer the love tunnel at the amusement park.

Derpy: That was fun, wasn’t it?

Fluttershy: You rode a in a tunnel of love with Derpy?

twow: (blushing) It was a mistake...

Screw Loose now seemed determined to prevent Shocker from ever leaving her blue ass. Whenever the stallion would start to pull out, the blue mare pushed her butt backwards; enveloping the cock even deeper. The base of her tail slapped repeatedly against his stomach.

twow: Lose some fucking weight!

"This is the first time I've ever taken a mare in the butt." Shocker confessed.

"All your previous experiences were with stallions, huh?" Straight Lace asked, slyly.

"Shut up," Shocker said, unamused.

twow: Burn?

Fluttershy: With fire?

Derpy: There isn’t enough fire in Tartarus...

The two guard ponies pistoned in and out of Screw Loose. All three were on the verge of orgasm, but Screw Loose made it first. Her slobber got all over Straight Lace's face. She ground her hips, milking the cock inside her for all it was worth.

Derpy: Ain’t gonna put that in a milkshake.

twow: Ah! Derpy! What the hell?!

Screw Loose let out a howl. When she came, she broke free from Straight Lace's grip, who up until that point had kept her pressed against his chest. Her feminine juices flowed free, coating Straight Lace's already slick dick.

Fluttershy: I just realized something. We haven’t seen anyallitera-(mouth is covered by twow and Derpy)

twow: If you don’t mention it, it won’t pop up!

The strength of her orgasm caused Screw Loose to sit up. When she did so, the back of her head connected forcefully with Shocker; hitting him square in the nose.

"Ow!" Shocker cried out, his eyes watering in pain, "Son of a bitch!"

Derpy: I hope that hurt!

Fluttershy: Bleed out and die!

twow: Damn you two!

The force of the hit caused Shocker and Screw Loose to fall backwards. The blue mare managed to keep a tight grip on the cock buried in her ass the whole time. When the two ponies fell back, Straight Lace became disconnected from the group. His cock separated from the mare with a wet pop. When this happened, more of her juices spilled onto the rubber floor.

twow: “Cleanup on aisle Crazy!”

Derpy: “Bring a mop and some paper towels!”

Straight Lace didn't care about being by himself now, since he was on the verge of cumming. Scooting closer to Screw Loose, Straight Lace gave his stallionhood a few swift jerks. He felt his balls tighten as they sent semen shooting through his spasming shaft.

twow: About TIME.

He came all over Screw Loose's face, in her mane, on her nose, in her mouth, on her metal mask. The last few squirts landed on her straight jacket. Screw Loose was completely oblivious to her facial. Her tongue lapped at what fell in her mouth, but that was pure instinct.

Fluttershy: Oh, that’s nasty.

Derpy: Well, if she’s been acting like a dog, she probably drinks water like that. Makes sense.

twow: It’s horrible though.

Her unfocused eyes lolled in her head, as she was still in the throws of her orgasm. Panting heavily, Straight Lace watched the mare in front of him bounced up and down on his friend's horsepole. Straight Lace was in a euphoric high as he basked in his own orgasm.

"Good doggy," Straight Lace said, breathlessly.

twow: “Here’s your bacon.”

The only pony left to cum was Shocker.

Fluttershy: Wow, that’s a shock. Agh! I’m doing it now!

 Blood trickled down his nose. Screw Loose wobbled atop his stallionhood as he relentlessly thrust up into her bleeding asshole. Shocker seemed intent on causing her butt as much pain as possible for what she did to his face.

Derpy: Because that makes sense.

twow: Only in context.

Shocker's plan was in vain, as Screw Loose was long past the point of caring about the burning sensation in her ass. She drooled and panted as feelings of bliss surged through her sweat-stained body.

As the brown stallion approached his friend, he laughed when he saw Shocker's bloody nose.

twow: Because when your friend is bleeding, laugh at him.

Fluttershy: Do this two care about ANYTHING?!

Derpy: Sex.

twow: Blunt.

"She really gave it to you good." Straight Lace said, trying to suppress his mirth, and failing, "Maybe you should be like her and wear a mask during sex. Specifically, a catchers' mask."

Not even pausing to stop his thrusting, Shocker raised his right hoof and flipped the pony equivalent of a middle finger to the other guard.

twow: I would bloody PAY to see how the hell that works.

Shocker could tell he was getting close.He placed his fore-hooves on either side of Screw Loose's flanks to help keep her balanced.

"I'm gonna' cum in her ass!" Shocker shouted.

twow: As opposed to cumming in her eye?

Derpy: Or her nose?

Fluttershy: Is her tooth an option?

 He kept arching his back, sending the mare bouncing higher and higher, only for her to land back down on his lap. The total length of Shocker's member was repeatedly shoved up her ass. As he thrust is one last time, Shocker's balls contracted, and he came.

All: FINALLY!

"Eeaaugh!" Shocker screamed as he shot his seed deep within the insane mare's bowels. Screw Loose's rectum clenched tightly around the cock, milking it of all its seed.

twow: “Gonna grow me some trees with this shit.”

The sensation of being filled in the ass was too much for Screw Loose to contain. Her legs were spread wide, hanging loosely, as the blue mare started to pee. Her urine landed with a light pattering sound upon the rubber floor.

Derpy: Do they even let her go the the bathroom?!

twow: Yup. You just saw where.

 The two stallions stared, mesmerized at the stream.

Fluttershy: “It’s so beautiful...”

twow: It’s a rainbow gone so wrong.

 As she emptied her bladder the stream became thinner; its arc, shorter.

Shocker kept his dick inside while she was relieving herself and only pulled it out when he felt sure she was done.

The two ponies surveyed the mess in the room.

Derpy: Not even a Hoover can fix this.

Screw Loose lay on her side, panting heavily. She was exhausted. In front of her was a puddle of her own piss. Next to that was a small pool of her femme jizz. The mare's drool had landed all over the floor. The crumpled, shit-stained napkin lay in the corner.

twow: Remember that last part girls, it’ll be on the test.

DNA evidence of the two stallions was also littered around the room. Straight Lace had his jizz in Screw Loose's hair, mask and straight jacket. There were drops of Shocker's blood, and a few drops of Screw Loose's blood when he first tore into her asshole.

Derpy: Well...

Fluttershy: No trial will be needed.

twow: Just as long as I can use my dagger.

As the guards looked at Screw Loose, she just kept staring at the wall. A mixture of blood and Shocker's jizz slowly started seeping out of her butt. Screw Loose let out a quick cough, before she resumed panting.

"Should we clean up or..." Shocker asked, his voice trailing off.

twow: “Just leave it?”

"Nah, leave it," Straight Lace said, "Whatever she doesn't lick up, the orderlies will clean in the morning. They never question anything they find in here."

twow: Fuck my LIFE.

Derpy: Your timing twow. It never stops making me laugh.

The guards made their way to the door. Straight Lace had done this so many times, it had become routine. He walked out the door, without a second glance or a word to Screw Loose. As Shocker was leaving, he turned to look at the mare. He gave a sort of half smile.

Fluttershy: “I know where you sleep at night.”

"Good night," Shocker said, gently. The cell door locked behind him as he joined his friend in the hall and together they continued their rounds.

Derpy: Wait, GENTLY?! AFTER RAPE?

twow: Well, it was kinda consensual...

Screw Loose lay there in a state of bliss, the light from the full moon slowly moving across her cell. When she got a little more energy back, she tried to lick off all the jizz that had stuck to her mask, before finally falling asleep.

Fluttershy: I would give her such the hug.

Derpy: Space/tine sword?

twow: And that is our ticket to LEAVE.

twow: Alright you two, thoughts?

Derpy: That...was awful.

Fluttershy: How dare they take advantage over a poor mare like that?!

twow: Because they’re sick. Granted the second guy at the end seemed to care, that’s still overshadowed by the fact that he still raped her.

Derpy: Not to mention the horrible care Screw Loose had.

Fluttershy: (takes deep breath)

Pinkie: (from TV) You three did great! Then again, you always do!

twow: Not without losing brain cells and breaking.

Pinkie: Right. T..

twow: It’s fine Pinkie.

Fluttershy: Be careful when you’re picking stories Pinkie. I don’t want to see twow really mad again.

Pinkie: I’ve seen it. Not fun.

Derpy: So have I.

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

Pinkie: You’re all free to go now.

twow: Let me guess...until next time.

Pinkie: Yup! And you might get another story from our favorite author!

twow: Do you secretly hate me Pinkie Pie?

Pinkie: Nope! You’re just WAY too much fun to prank! See you next time!

(Pinkie pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 1

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, this story’s been done to death, it’s really infamous...WHATEVER.

Here’s the thing though. This is a challenge, to myself.

I’ve done over ten riffs now, but I’ve been struggling with if I should continue on, or just stick to writing stories. So I thought to myself, if I can take one the the more infamous stories on the site and take it apart, maybe I do belong doing this.

And here we are. 120 Days of Blueblood.Right here.

I don’t think I need to prolong this, so let’s get started. And pray that I really don’t lose it this time.

Derpy: You can’t create cutie marks twow! It doesn’t work like that!

twow: Derpy, haven’t you learned that I try to do the impossible in here?

Rarity: I must agree with her though. It’s not possible to do.

twow: This wand doesn’t create permanent cutie marks. It’s more of a joke.

Rarity: How?

twow: Because when you attach the mark you’ve picked to that pony’s flank, they have to perform that talent for ten minutes.

Derpy: It’s like a version of the Cutie Pox?

twow: Yes, but carefully controlled.

Pinkie: (from TV) That would be great at parties.

Rarity: Pinkie dear, is something wrong?

twow: You don’t seem very happy for some reason.

Pinkie: I’m not. And twow, please let me say I’m sorry now.

twow: If it’s a riff, don’t worry about it.

Pinkie: That’s not why I’m sorry.

Derpy: Oh boy...

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

???: Well, is that the commoner I saw at the Gala?

twow: Oh dear God no.

Rarity: ...What?! Not him!

Derpy: Um, Pinkie? Who is in there?

Pinkie: You aren’t gonna like this guys. Not one bit.

(Pinkie disappears from the screen to be replaced by Prince Blueblood)

twow: WHAT. How in the...

Rarity: What are you doing here?!

Blueblood: I was told by some...informants that this human has been saying rather awful things about me.

twow: Well, we did have that one conversation after “Marshmallow Holes”. But that was with me and Twilight, and I know she wouldn’t say anything!

Derpy: But, why are you THERE Prince? Why not just come here?

Blueblood: I’ve heard about this “riffs” from my aunt Luna and decided to give you one myself as punishment. See, I can’t hurt you in anyway, but you’re still in MY kingdom.

twow: Noo, this is Celestia’s and Luna’s kingdom. Besides, you don’t know what makes me tick.

Blueblood: How about a story called... “120 Days of Blueblood?”

twow: ...

Rarity: Pinkie, how would he even KNOW about that story?

Pinkie: I kinda put some sticky notes saying to never let twow read that...

Derpy: Not the greatest use of notes.

twow: YOU ARE FUCKING INSANE BLUEBLOOD.

Blueblood: Maybe. But isn’t this better than banishment?

twow: You don’t have the power to do that to me.

Blueblood: No matter! twow, for speaking ill of the prince, I sentence you to read all of this story! And, I’ll be bringing in your friends from time to time to help.

twow: THEY didn’t do anything! Leave them out of it!

Blueblood: It’s too late for that. And now, let the punishment begin!

Derpy: Don’t worry twow. We’re here for you.

twow: I’m more worried about Rarity.

Rarity: Why?

twow: Because this might be my punishment, but this is your chapter.

Rarity: Oh...

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

“Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

twow: Like the hope of us getting the hell out of here?

If history will judge me a monster, then so be it. I will not live my life cowering in fear of a future generation's scorn. I'm untouchable from derision or reprisal as long as I'm alive, for I am a prince.

Derpy: “Prince of all the land.”

twow: Derpy, that joke kinda died.

        Even the mere mention of my name, Blueblood, sends a chill down the spine of even the most stalwart of stallions. The blood runs cold in everypony's heart when they hear the sounds of trumpets heralding my royal procession.

Rarity: My heart runs cold with ANGER...

        By right of my power, nothing is beyond my reach. My aunts control the sun and the moon, and I control everything that is touched by their light.

twow: What if it’s completely dark?

Derpy: Like underground!

        In recent memory, there was one family who challenged my authority by refusing one of my demands. Unlike the Canterlot unicorns, who all rightly fear me, this unicorn family hailed from the tiny province of Ponyville. Having come to the capital city, they were unaware that all my desires were to be granted without question.

Rarity: I’m sure that everypony should know that royalty is to instantly obeyed.

Derpy: Unless they were cave ponies!

twow: That don’t exist?

Derpy: What about Quicksilver?

twow: Fallen just stabbed someone for you saying that.

 I made sure they paid dearly for their ignorance.

Rarity: “It cost forty bits.”

        The parents had traveled here with their two children to peddle the custom-made clothing of their elder daughter. An enchanting young mare, with a coat the color of cream. The flowing locks of her mare were a royal purple. Her mother was also striking, with wide child-bearing hips. The matriarch had a pink mane and shared her daughter's lovely mane color.

twow: Oh god, it’s your family Rare.

Rarity: I am aware.

Derpy: Are you alright Rarity?

Rarity: If we are to help twow though this, then yes.

twow: Don’t worry about me Rarity.

        I fully admit that the depths of my licentiousness knows no age limit, as I also lusted after the youngest daughter. As with her sister, this filly's coat was pure white. The daughter's youth was confirmed by the fact that she was without a cutie mark.

Rarity: YOU LEAVE SWEETIE BELLe OUT OF THIS!!!

Derpy: WHAT?!?!?!

twow: Hell is too good for you.

        I summoned for the father, a white unicorn with a bushy mustache. He had the piece of mind to bow in my presence. The stallion asked what I desired of their humble merchant family.

twow: “All of your mares’ virginity.” (smacked by Rarity)

        I said I requested the company of his wife and daughters to service me. I was even generous enough to offer to pay for the use of his wretched family. The fool stallion became indignant and refused. He slandered my name, a crime punishable by death in and of itself.

Derpy: You couldn’t possibly think that was going to work.

twow: The fucker wants Sweetie. He’s not using rational thought.

        The father rejoined the females, and without another word to his family, the clan disappeared from my presence into the marketplace to sell their goods in peace.

Rarity: We would have probably ran.

twow: FAST.

        The father's spurning of my offer only fueled my perverted lusts. Knowing that one catches more flies with honey, I hatched a cunning plan to achieve my ends.

        I called for my most deadly assassin, Nightshade.

twow: Don’t let him touch your kids.

 He had witnessed the affront to my honor and was eager to eke out his bloody vengeance on the whole family.

        My loyal Nightshade offered to slowly torture each member of the family to death. The father would watch helplessly as the three females were violated and abused one by one until they begged for the sweet release of oblivion.

Derpy: That was...melodramatic.

Rarity: And unnecessary!

        I admired his sense of poetic justice, but I rejected his method.

        After explaining the plan, Nightshade followed my instructions to the letter. He stalked the Ponyville unicorns unseen. As the evening drew nigh, the family found a room at the local inn. After paying for their quarters, the mother assisted her two daughters in taking their unsold wares to their room.

twow: I’m sure that your family could have paid for a better place to stay.

Rarity: Well, we aren’t exactly destitute.

        In the first floor of the inn, there was a bar. The father stopped in for a drink. From there it was simple. The assassin found a drunken vagrant at the bar and pitted him against the father.

twow: Wut.

Derpy: He was drunk. It probably wasn’t hard.

Rarity: My father is a pacifist. We would have tried to leave.

        As the drunk attempted to start a brawl, a blinding flash of light was sent out by my merchant of death. In the confusion, he assassinated the drunk, in order to frame the father for the murder. Nightshade then blended back into the crowd before the bar patron's eyes had time to recover.

Derpy: And NO ONE was able to follow him?

twow: Nope. It was probably too dark.

        The first thing everypony saw when their eyesight returned was the dead drunk, with the father standing over the body. Cries of murder rang out through the inn. The royal guard was summoned and arrived almost immediately. This was due to my cleverness in stationing several guards near the inn.

Rarity: But, my father would never kill anypony!

twow: In this situation, it would have looked like he did.

Derpy: But, what about an investigation?

twow: Because THAT’S gonna happen.

        Upon hearing the commotion, the mother and daughters ran out just in time to witness their father being carried out in chains, flanked on either side by a royal guard. The body of the dead drunk was carried off to the morgue.

twow: They do their job fast.

        The wife ran outside after her husband. He was carted off to the palace dungeons swearing his innocence to the heavens.

Rarity: “And the heavens screamed back.”

twow: “Shut the hell up!”

        Feeling faint, the mother returned to the inn and begged to know where she could go to plead her husband's case. She swore on her life that her husband was a gentle soul, with a quiet temper. The mare insisted that this tragedy was not the fault of her stallion. The daughters began to cry, also testifying of their father's character.

Derpy: When that many mares are crying, you listen.

twow: He’s too busy dealing with the claws of HUEGH.

        Nightshade listened intently. The mare grew desperate, as the bar patrons knew to not get involved with strangers, lest they meet a similar fate. The three females began sobbing over their patriarch's incarceration and the indifference of the citizens of Canterlot.

twow: I just love how no one is gonna do anything.

Rarity: Blueblood’s scared them into silence.

        At this point my assassin stepped forward. He told the mother that I had the power to save anypony from the executioner's axe.

twow: With his dick. (smacked by both mares)

Derpy: Why does that sound familiar?

        She expressed her gratitude and asked how she might be granted an audience with me. Nightshade offered to take her there himself. He also encouraged the mother to take her two daughters along, as their presence might sway my decision.

twow: “It’s a trap!”

        When my assassin delivered the three females unto me, I listened as they rambled on about their doddering fool of a father. They implored me to show mercy.

Rarity: Even though he WON’T.

        I expressed to them that the crime of murder was a capital offense. The wife swore that her husband had been framed.

        I asked her if she was willing to make any sacrifice to save her husband.

Derpy: Whatever you do, don’t say yes.

twow: The sad thing is that she’s going to.

        She handed me all the money they had made selling clothes. She promised that in the morning they would sell their cart and other possessions as well to pay for his release.

        I laughed mirthlessly and threw the coin purse at her hooves. I told the wife that she could not simply buy her husband's life with mere money.

Rarity: ...

twow: “Your payment will be your vaginas!” (smacked by Derpy)

        The pink mare offered to be my servant.

Derpy: Where did Pinkie come in this?

 Her daughters chimed in saying that they would also work in the palace to earn their father's freedom.

        I dismissed their offer, citing that I had many fine servants and had no need for more.

twow: You’ve got it made when you don’t NEED servants.

        The females began to cry. They begged to know the price of the stallion's life. They insisted that they would find a way to pay it, no matter the cost.

        I told them that there was one thing that could free their father. The wife begged to know the answer. I told her that her husband's release hinged on me achieving... release.

Rarity: Release from boredom?

Derpy: Release from hunger?

twow: Yes to both, but not how we want it.

        The wife looked shocked. She cast her eyes to the ground, unable to look at me. I reasoned that one night of passion was certainly worth the life of her husband. The daughters protested the infidelity, citing that their mother would never sully herself to break her marriage vows. The mare shouted for her children to be silent.

Derpy: Wait, Sweetie understood that?

Rarity: Of course. They recently had their sexual education class.

twow: I remember when I went through that.

        In an impressive show of will, the mare raised her head and looked me in the eyes. Tears stained her cheeks, but her eyes burned with righteous indignation.

        She agreed to lie with me that night, in exchange for her husband's freedom.

twow: It’s sad that this is the only way he’s getting laid.

 I haggled with her, reasoning that an old mare such has herself could not hope to satisfy me. She insisted that she would be submissive to my every carnal desire. I told the wife that her proposition was acceptable.

All: OF COURSE IT WAS!

        Once the deal had been made, I announced that my first desire was for her two daughters to join us. The mare cried for anything but that. She begged me to spare the innocence and preserve the purity of her daughters.

Rarity: Wait just a minute! That wasn’t part of the deal!

twow: He’s the PRINCE. At this rate, he’s sit you on the ground and make you wipe his ass with your tongue and you’d HAVE TO DO IT!!

Derpy: twow, are you...

twow: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Rarity: He’s not okay.

        I grew impatient with the mare and was prepared to cancel the whole arrangement, when one of her daughters intervened.

        The elder one, the dressmaker, generously offered to service me, in addition to her mother, if I would spare the younger sibling.

twow: Would you do that Rarity?

Rarity: Yes! No stallion will lay their filthy hooves on my sister!

        I consented to this, provided the youngest be present in the room as we consummated the deed. With everlasting shame and embarrassment etched on her countenance, the mother agreed.

Derpy: When you think about it, where else could she have gone?

twow: Blueblood’s a bastard, but he’s a slick bastard.

        I led the three females into my majestic bed chambers. Along the walls were huge paintings of ponies engaged in the most lurid of orgies. The mares averted their eyes ashamed, while the little filly blushed and looked at all the explicit illustrations, her foal-like innocence unsure of what was occurring in them.

twow: “That looks fun! I wanna try!” (shot by Rarity)

Derpy: Ah! Rarity!

Rarity: He went too far that time.

        Below a grand painting of a mare servicing seven stallions at once, I had placed against the wall a fainting couch.

Derpy: SEVEN?!

twow: That’s some multitasking right there.

 I directed the youngest daughter to sit down and enjoy the show.

        The mother moved in front of her young filly and expressed her love. She also expressed great sorrow for the fate of their family.

twow: (twitch)

Rarity: But...I...

Derpy: We aren’t ready yet. Break time.

Blueblood: Well? How are you enjoying your punishment twow?

Rarity: I would very much like to eviscerate you.

Blueblood: Your name isn’t twow.

Rarity: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE?!

Derpy: (shakes twow) Come on twow! You can do this!

twow: I can’t!! There’s more to this story! And it gets worse!!!

Derpy: Do you want Blueblood to be able to say that he beat you at your own game?

Rarity: (taking a deep breath) Listen dear, I was with you when we riffed “Derpy’s Finest Hour” and you were able to finish.

twow: But, Fallen was there!

Derpy: He’s not here now.

twow: Look guys, I know I’m not that good at this riffing-(slapped by both mares)

Derpy: Don’t you dare!

Rarity: I must agree. twow, you are a fine riffer and a great friend. Now, for my sake, please sit up and tear this apart for me.

twow: Can’t you do it yourself?

Rarity: No, because this hurts...

twow: (hugs Rarity) Alright Rare. For you.

Derpy: Awww. That’s true friendship.

Blueblood: Are you all quite finished?!

twow: Oh yeah. Bring it on motherfucker, because we GOT THIS.

Blueblood: We shall see.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

        Desiring an erotic display, I commanded the mother to begin licking the private parts of her young daughter.

twow: THE FIRST SENTENCE!!!

Rarity: Are you crazy?!

Derpy: Oh. He dies.

 She protested. saying it went against our agreement to leave the youngest one unmolested. I hit the stupid bitch on the back of the head for her insolence. Her daughters were crying over their injured mother. I told the mare that I had agreed not to touch the child. I made no such promises for them.

Derpy: That’s quite the loophole.

twow: Blueblood’s a bastard, but he’s a sneaky bastard.

        Levitating a candlestick over to the mother I threatened her by saying that if she didn't begin pleasuring the child with her mouth, then she would be required to shove this candlestick up her daughter's young ass.

Rarity and Derpy: HATE!

twow: As long as he doesn’t light the damn thing.

 Horrified at the alternative, the mother began to gently kiss her young daughter's virgin lips.

twow: “So this is what my first kiss is like.” (curb-stomped by Rarity)

        My royal member began to grow erect. Sitting down beside the young foal, I put a hoof around her shoulder, and played with her pale pink and purple mane. I asked the child what she thought of my paintings.

Derpy: “Why is that mare upside-down?”

twow: “That looks like a really good popsicle.”

 She replied, in a furtive tone, that she didn't understand. I explained to her that she and her mother and sister were fulfilling their highest purpose in life tonight. I told her that a commoner's solitary meaningful contribution to society was to provide pleasure to royalty. The filly gave a hesitant smile.

Rarity: Your words bring everyone in this room anger.

twow: I’m past that. Excuse me while I finish this heat-seeking rocket...

        The child squirmed, due to the lurid kisses she was receiving. The filly asked if this sight pleased me. I replied that I was pleased and reassured her that she would soon be reunited with her father. She smiled nervously as she tried to keep her head amidst a maelstrom of conflicting emotions within her young mind.

Derpy: “Stop kissing me!!”

Rarity: “I pee out of there!”

twow: Natural lemonade.

        The young child complained that her mother's touch was making her tummy feel funny. I snickered at her naivety. The mare sobbed silently as she continued to kiss her daughter's nethers.

twow: Why is her tummy reacting?

Rarity: Because she’s so small?

twow: Eh.

        The elder sibling sat with her eyes closed, not wanting to witness the awful scene

        I rubbed my shaft with my other hoof and summoned the dressmaker over.

        She knelt down beside her mother and looked up at me. Her eyes gravitated towards my swollen stallionhood.

twow: That’s gonna need some ice.

Rarity: Or a sharp blade.

twow: O_O

        I asked her if she had ever fellated a stallion before. She blushed and confessed that she was still a virgin.

All: ...

twow: Move on?

Derpy and Rarity: Move on.

        I warned her that if she injured me in any way, then her incompetence would be the cause of death for her entire family.

Rarity: Darn.

Derpy: What’s wrong?

Rarity: I wanted it to get bitten off.

twow: Well, you’re scaring me.

        I rested my left fore-hoof on her head as I guided my cock deeper down her throat. I pulled her head forward with my hoof leading her lips towards the base of my shaft.

        Tears welled in the elder daughter's eyes as she choked, while managing to suppress her gag reflex.

twow: Damn, you have a small mouth.

Rarity: I beg your pardon?!

twow: You can’t take an inch and a half in your mouth.

(both mares deadpan at twow, then bust up laughing)

        Hearing the gurgling sounds of the young mare, the mother shifted her eyes to the right. She watched horrified as her elder daughter swallowed the entire length of my member.

        To increase my pleasure, I told the daughter to bob her head back and forth. I warned her again to mind her teeth, or she would live to regret it.

twow: She’s ALREADY living to regret it.

        While my stallionhood was being serviced, I focused my attention back on the mother and daughter. I had grown bored of the mild stimulation being given to the child. I told the mother that her daughter's lips had been kissed sufficiently. It was now time for her to use her tongue. Specifically, I wanted her to stick it inside her daughter's tender rose petals.

Rarity: “Sweetie! Get those roses out of there!”

twow: “But I wanted to keep them warm!”

        The mother began to protest. I coldly reminded her that her husband's life was at stake. I warned the pink mare that if she objected to another demand, I would consider our deal as forfeit. She sadly complied, pushing her fleshy mouth muscle past the foal's virgin lips.

Derpy: You can’t just call it a tongue?

twow: Just be happy we aren’t getting hit with alliteration.

        The little filly squirmed as her mother's tongue became the first thing to ever pass into the folds of her tender vagina.

        She asked her mother to take her tongue out, complaining that it made her feel weird. Dismissing her daughter's pained pleas, the mother sobbed and continued her insertion. The mare was well aware of the price for disobedience.

Rarity: At this point, I think I would have taken death.

twow: And leave them all alone with a nutcase?

        The elder daughter was doing an excellent job to pleasure me. In spite of her insistence of being a virgin, I doubted her innocence.

Derpy: Remember how we moved on? Let’s continue that.

        I remarked that the elder daughter sucked cock as good as the finest whores in the kingdom. I speculated that she must have swallowed the cum of many stallions in order for a family as poor as theirs to purchase the expensive materials used to make her pretty dresses.

twow: (winces) Sorry Rare...

Rarity: It...it’s quite alright twow. That part of my life is over now.

Derpy:  (hugs Rarity)

        The white mare continued bobbing her mouth back and forth against my rock-hard shaft. She looked up at me with an expression which neither indicated guilt nor innocence regarding my accusations of previous whoredoms.

Rarity: (takes a deep breath) Remember your promise to me twow.

twow: Don’t worry. This story is gonna GET IT.

        Having been made sufficiently slick, I removed my stallionhood from the daughter's mouth. I commanded the mother to stop pleasuring the young filly's pussy. The mother was only too relieved to stop.

twow: I can imagine.

 She immediately removed her tongue and rested her head on the fainting couch, sobbing.

        The young child lay their panting.

Rarity: I always tell that filly, but she keeps forgetting her panting.

Derpy: Well, it’s easy to misplace.

twow: She threw it on the ground.

 Too young to comprehend these foreign sensations, her mother's cunnilingus had left the filly merely confused.

        I instructed the youngest daughter to turn around that I might get a good view of her ass. She didn't want  to. She called me mean and cried for her father. The mother was wise to silence her stupid daughter. She begged the little filly to obey my commands, ensuring her that it would all be over soon.

Rarity: Why do I have the feeling that it won’t?

twow: Because we know who wrote this.

        Once the filly was in position, I could see her petite bottom. I instructed the mother to treat her daughter's ass as she had done with her pussy. I demanded to see her anal ring stretched by the insertion of her mother's tongue.

Rarity: Wut.

twow: That’s my line!

Derpy: You are missing the problem!

twow: No I’m not. The problem is the story.

        This request was almost too much for the mare. She soon acquiesced, approaching her baby's butt. The mother lamented the everlasting shame of it all and cursed her womb for bearing daughters who lived to experience such degrading depravity.

Derpy: That’s not fair to Sweetie and Rarity though!

twow: She would have rather not had children then to have this happen to them.

        As she licked around the filly's pert asshole, the daughter couldn't help but giggle, saying that it tickled.

        I chuckled a mirthless laugh as I mounted the mother.

        The mare let out a gasp of surprise, which was muffled by her daughter's behind. Choosing my target, I positioned my throbbing member next to the wife's unprepared asshole.

twow: Oh boy.

Rarity: I can’t watch.

Derpy: This one’s gonna hurt.

        I bucked my hips hard, driving myself deep with one thrust. Her dry ass began bleeding as the mother lifted her head, letting out an ear-piercing shriek. The scream startled the young filly, who voided her bladder all over her mother's face. The yellow liquid got in the mare's mouth and on her mane, as I repeatedly thrust violently into her hot ass.

twow: “Selling at 25 cents.”

Rarity: TWOW!

        The added watersports humiliation was something I had not anticipated, but was a welcome bonus to the proceedings.

Derpy: They’re gonna go surfing next.

twow: In the middle of a hurricane.

        The mare screamed for mercy, shouting that my tool was too large for her tight entrance.

twow: Oh come on. It’s only a inch and a half! Hell, I-

Rarity: What was that?

twow: Nothing. Nothing at all.

Derpy: Wow twow...

How I loved to see her in such sweet agony. Her rectal walls clenched tight around me. As I pulled out, her bloodied ring sent ripples of pleasure throughout my body.

        I commanded her to return her piss-soaked face to her daughter's asshole and continue to service it.

twow: Dinner and a show. (smacked by the moon)

        Desiring further stimulation, I summoned the elder daughter to take her place behind me.

        I complimented her on her exquisite tongue. I inquired if she was as adept at rimjobs as her dear mother.

Derpy: I’m going to say...

Rarity: NO!

Derpy: Thought so.

        I ordered the dressmaker to stretch my asshole out with her tongue. The daughter complied, sorrowfully.

        Her tongue poked itself into my ass. The feeling was glorious. Had I not already promised to unite the dressmaker with her father, I would have gladly kept her as my own personal shitlicker.

twow: What’s stopping you?

Rarity: The deal?

twow: Blueblood is NOT a man of his word. We both know he could completely keep you AND get away with it.

The elder daughter rocked her head back and forth with my hips as I continued to ream the mother's asshole. Blood from her gaping wound leaked down her thighs.

        I reveled in the scene, wishing the father could see his family now. We were a four-pony train, connected by asses, tongues and cock.

Derpy and Rarity: AAHHHHHH!

twow: Don’t worry girls! I’ll erase that memory when we’re done!

        As I continued my rear ruination, the mother's rectum stretched itself to accommodate my girth. In time her anal cavity became looser and less pleasurable for me, but more so for her.

        The buggering which she was receiving must have flipped a switch in the mind of the mare, for she soon began to lose herself to the pleasure. She let out a carnal moan and began shaking her hips, trying to further stimulate her ass.

Rarity: Don’t focus on it mom!

twow: Little late for that.

        The rimjob she was giving grew more intense, almost as if she'd completely forgotten she was servicing her own daughter.

        As the youngest child continued to be molested, she cried out for her mother to stop being so perverse.

twow: Pay the fuck attention!

        Completely oblivious to the world around her except for her own pain and rising pleasure, the mother stuck her tongue deep inside her young daughter's anal passage and wiggled it around.

Derpy: That made me think of Dinky, and now I am sad.

twow: For your sake, I really hope Dinky never shows up in this.

The mare moaned with lust as her tongue penetrated the filly's small butthole over and over, stretching it out beyond it's normal limits. The daughter screamed for her mother to stop, but the mare continued, undaunted.

twow: Ecstasy does that to you.

        After a few more minutes of hard thrusting, the mare pulled her tongue from her daughter's loose ass and let out a loud moan of pleasure. She screamed her husband's name in ecstasy.

twow: Take that Blueblood, you BITCH.

Rarity: She’s still imaging our father.

Derpy: Dedication right there.

        My hind legs were suddenly sprayed with her feminine ejaculate. Even without any clitoral stimulation, the wife had managed to climax from solely anal penetration.

        I was furious that the slutty bitch had the audacity to cum before a prince and stain my royal legs with her common mare juices. To compound the offense, the harlot had the nerve to imagine her husband as I screwed her ass.

twow: Why don’t you cry about it?!

Derpy: He doesn’t have to.

twow: Uh-oh.

        Not willing to stand for so great an insult, I removed my member from the whorish mare's derriere. The elder daughter's mouth became separated from my ass with a popping sound as I moved closer to the fainting couch. I was going to teach that trollop of a mother that my pleasure is what mattered. What she felt counted as naught.

twow: DAMN.

Rarity: What is he going to do?!

        After spitting in the mother's mane, I set my sights on the real prize I craved. I announced that I desired to deflower the youngest daughter's pussy and ass.

Rarity: YOU BASTARD!!!

twow and Derpy: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        The mother, who had been enjoying the bliss from her orgasm was suddenly brought back to her harsh reality. She shielded me from the filly, saying that she would rather die before she let her daughter lose her virginity to the likes of me.

        The elder daughter whined and said that I was breaking the arrangement.

twow: That’s because you ARE.

        I spat in her face and said the deal had changed when her whore of a mother had the gall to cum before royalty. I told the mares to be grateful that I was still willing to release their father, provided the youngest was able to slack my carnal thirst.

Derpy: If that’s the case, he should have TOLD her that before he started raping her!

Rarity: Correct. He made this up!

twow: He pulled it out of his ass is what you mean...

        I told the mother that if I was not given their youngest daughter's virginity, then I would take it by force and kill their whole stupid family when I was done. The three females broke down and sobbed. I ordered the mother to assist me in taking her daughter.

twow: At this point, I think death would be a blessing.

Rarity: I’m...inclined to agree.

        The mare lay beside her sobbing foal on the fainting couch and rested a hoof on her chest. Finally the moment to deflower the young virgin had arrived. I was mad with anticipation!

twow: No, your just off your meds.

Derpy: Just take the whole bottle.

        I called for the older daughter to resume her duties by giving my ass a proper tongue bath. Once the elder daughter's tongue had plunged itself back into the depths of my ass, I was ready to enter the filly's hot, little cave.

twow: Careful. Here be dragons.

Rarity: That will KILL.

        As the youngest child lay on her back, I buried myself within her in a single thrust. As my large stallionhood forced its way inside, the filly thrashed on the couch, screaming. The mother bawled her eyes out as she tried to hold her daughter still.

twow: Really now. None of you can handle an INCH AND A HALF.

        Virgin blood ran down my thighs as the filly screamed pitifully. She was even tighter than her mother's asshole! Due to her young size, I was unable to fit more than a third of my cock into her before my cock head pressed against her underdeveloped womb. I made several small thrusts, further tearing her bleeding inner walls.

twow: Damn it.

Derpy: What is it?

twow: Momma Fluttershy flashbacks.

        My ass clenched around the dressmaker's tongue as she increased my pleasure tenfold! I praised the elder daughter for her skills, citing that if she ever tired of dressmaking, she could make a fortune as a whore.

Rarity: I could also become an assassin. He will be my first.

Derpy: I’ll give him poison muffins.

        Sensing my climax approaching, I pulled out of her bleeding vagina. I wanted to refrain from cumming until I had sampled her other tight hole.

twow:.

Rarity: Oh no...

Derpy: Twow! You can’t break on us now!

        The filly lay there sobbing, as blood and my precum leaked from her torn pussy. I commanded the mother to reposition her daughter and spread her young ass cheeks, that her hole might receive my stallionhood.

        The mother's tears dripped onto the filly's rear as she complied with my command. Fresh blood continued to run down the insides of the daughter's legs; staining her white coat red.

Rarity: “It looked like a tomato.”

Derpy: “I’ll get the ranch dressing!”

        Holding her daughter's tail out of the way, the mother begged that I finish quickly.

Derpy: Even though he won’t.

        I chided the grieving mare, telling her I would screw her daughter's ass for as long as I desired.

Rarity: Of course.

twow:..

Derpy: Please twow!

        I rammed my large cock into her tight hole. Her voice cracked as the filly let out an ear-piercing shriek that echoed off my tall bedroom halls. Her high-pitched screams of pain sounded like sweet music to my ears.

Derpy: Sound of Music this is not.

twow: ....

Rarity: Maybe we should leave him.

The mother's rimjob from earlier had ensured her anal passage would be better prepared to take my girth. The blood from her virgin flower also acted as wonderful lube. In spite of these considerations, my cock was still the largest thing to ever pass through her petite bottom. The daughter's ass tore and split as I reamed her raw.

twow: YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!

        (Rarity and Derpy jump in fear)

Derpy: We’re here twow. Focus.

The filly wailed, complaining of the burning pain in her bottom and begged me to pull out. She cried for her father to save her as I plumbed deeper into her depths. The mother stroked her daughter's hair and tried to comfort the hysterical filly.

Derpy: Good luck calming her down.

twow: She’s got a dick in her ass. I wouldn’t be calm either.

 The mare assured her that it would all be over soon and they would be reunited with their father. The mother promised that when this was over, they would leave for their home and never return to this wicked city ever again.

Rarity: We’re going to Manehatten.

twow: Hell, you should probably get the hell out of Equestria.

        The elder daughter continued to diddle my asshole. As my climax grew, I had difficulty controlling my bowels. Several rank farts escaped my rear. The rancid aroma of my royal wafts filled the dressmaker's nose and mouth. She pulled her face away, gagging and retching.

Derpy: What the hell?

Rarity: Derpy!

twow: Usually, I’d say something, but she hit it spot on. What the hell?!

        I thrust forward to the hilt. The little filly's anal ring connected with the base of my tool. My family jewels slapped against her violated vagina as I came inside her. Thick ropes of royal refuse sprayed from my cock head. I continued to pump her ass as I came, milking my orgasm for all it was worth. My princely semen filled her bowels as I screamed in ecstasy.

twow: I think part of my soul just died.

Rarity: So you DO have one.

twow: At least that’s what I’ve been told.

        As I removed my cock, it was covered in a mix of my semen and the filly's blood and shit. I summoned the elder daughter over to lick my member clean. In spite of the revulsion on her face, she complied.

twow: Blend that shit.

Derpy: Include the penis.

twow: (covers groin and shudders)

 The dressmaker shuddered as she swallowed her sister's shit and blood along with trace amounts of my princely penial paste.

twow: Damn it. Alliteration.

        As my stallionhood was given a tongue bath, I looked over at the little filly. She was sobbing uncontrollably into her mother's lap, as my royal seed began to leak from her gaping asshole and slid down to mingle with the blood encrusted on her torn vagina.

Rarity: How does she still HAVE a vagina?

Derpy: It hurts to think about it.

        The pink mare hugged her daughter close as the two of them wept. The mother expressed how proud she was of her brave little filly. The mare said that because of her daughter's courage, the life of her father would be spared.

Rarity: I’m doubting that for some reason.

twow: I was doubting it after Blueblood here made the offer.

        In her young body's effort to expel the sperm, the filly gave a small fart, which sprayed my essence across the floor. I chuckled.

Derpy: That’s NOT. FUNNY.

        When my member was cleaned, the elder daughter went to join the rest of her family on the couch. None of them dared look at me. I assured the family that our arrangement was complete and that they would indeed be reunited with their father soon.

twow: Take a close look at that wording.

Derpy: I think I understand.

Rarity: ...no.

        I stood by the curtain-covered window and poured three glasses of wine for the females. I ordered them to come here and drink, that it might take the edge off of their ordeal. They reluctantly trotted over and took the glasses.

Derpy: Why would you have ANYTHING to do with him after that?!

twow: Probably the shock.

        It was dawn outside and a small crowd had gathered to witness the public execution of the family's patriarch. He had been found guilty of murder and sentenced to die by the executioner's axe.

Rarity: BUT I THOUGHT...

twow: He said they’d be reunited. He didn’t say that they would still be alive when it happens.

        His face was bloodied after having sustained a severe beating from the palace guards during the night. His mustache was encrusted with blood from his broken nose. One of his eyes was bruised black to the point of being swollen shut. He had lost a couple of teeth and blood sprayed from his mouth when he spoke.

twow: Damn Rarity, your dad is quite the badass.

Rarity: I would have thought nothing else of him.

        As the fool lay with his head on the chopping block, he repeatedly proclaimed his innocence and begged in the name of Celestia to be shown his family.

        The executioner had been given strict instructions to delay the execution until my bedroom window was opened.

Derpy: Turn your head!

        Once the three females had drunken their wine, I opened the window. The family stared at their father as the axe was raised. The father's last words were a desperate plea to be able to look upon his family before dying. If the fool would have turned his head to the right, he would have seen them.

twow: I don’t suppose a dragon could land and start fucking shit up?

Derpy: That would have been too easy twow.

        The females watched helplessly as the executioner's axe fell with a sickening slice. The father's head tumbled off the chopping block and into the basket.

Rarity: (weeping)

twow: (hugs Rarity) It’s alright Rare...

        The two daughters shrieked, crying for their father. The mother stared at her husband's body. She didn't cry, as she had already produced all the tears she could muster. Staring at the still corpse of her lover, the mare felt dead inside.

Derpy: You didn’t feel dead after the rape?

twow: I know I did when I went through it.

Derpy: What was that?

twow: Nothing.

        She whispered that I had lied to them.

        I replied with a smile that I had been completely honest in that they would soon be reunited with their husband and father.

Derpy: Mother-

twow: -fucker.

        After a faint moan escaped her lips, the littlest child fell to the ground. The mares assumed that she had fainted from grief. In actuality, it was the poison in the wine beginning to take effect. As the mother and daughter tried to rouse the dead filly, the poison started to take its toll on them as well. The two mares soon joined the rest of their family in the chilly embrace of death.

Rarity: ....thank Celestia.

Derpy: Rarity?

twow: I see her point Derpy. Death was a gift at this point.

        My benevolence and compassion are nonpareil. Who, besides me, would be kind enough to administer a quick-acting poison as their means of death?

twow: Did you FORGET the raping part?

Derpy: That didn’t kill them though!

twow: It killed their spirits.

        Before my eyes lay a pile of dead pony flesh; a mother and her two daughters. I summoned some of my burlier servants to dispose of the bodies. I let them know that the mother and older daughter still had some tight holes which had not been used, should they desire them.

Rarity: What?!

twow: You have got to be fucking JOKING.

The necrophilic stallions eagerly dragged the three bodies from my chambers to have their wicked way with them.

Derpy: EWWWWW.

twow: Damn it! What the hell?! How is that arousing?!

        The father's head was placed on a pike as a warning to others of my power. The only reason why the three females were spared such ignominy, is because by the time my servants had finished fornicating with their bodies, even their heads were too mangled to be suitable for public display. Their mutilated, cum-filled carcasses were fed to the palace dogs.

twow: “But not even the dogs would touch them.”

Rarity: “Rest in pieces.”

        I stopped by the innkeeper's residence later that day and used the money from the mother's coin purse to buy the unsold dresses that were still in their room.

Derpy: So, he wants to wear them?

(All break out laughing.)

The shopkeeper gratefully accepted the money, as he didn't know what to do with the clothes after the family never returned for their possessions.

        Once I was back in my room, I displayed the dresses as a memento of my conquest. It's good to be the prince.

twow: Ya mean, to be a sadistic FUCK!

Derpy: Time to go.

twow: That one, that one hurt. How are you hanging Rare?

Rarity: I am going to need some time to recover, but I am okay for now.

Derpy: How are YOU twow? You scared me.

twow: Guys, I’ve never read this story, but I’ve heard things about it. I didn’t really know how bad it really was.

Derpy: But didn’t you say that “Derpy’s Finest Hour” was the worst thing you’d read?”

twow: Oh it is. This was MADE to be bad.

Rarity: And it succeeds at its job.

twow: Maybe a little too well...

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

Pinkie: (from TV) Rarity Derpy, I’m sorry for that. I really am.

Rarity: It is not your fault Pinkie Pie. Either way, I need to go lay down for a while.

twow: Go on Rare. I’ll see you later.

Derpy: I’m going to check on Dinky.

twow: I’ll be out in a minute.

(Rarity and Derpy exit the lab, the doors shutting and closing behind them.)

twow: What the hell?! Pinkie!

Pinkie: It wasn’t me! It was him!

Blueblood: (from TV) You didn’t think you were getting out so easily, did you?

twow: I did the chapter!

Blueblood: Uh-uh. Your punishment is the ENTIRE story.

twow: How about fuck you and let me the hell out now!

Blueblood: Come now twow. I told you this at the beginning of the chapter.

twow: Fine. What the hell are you trying to prove?

Blueblood: I want this story to break you twow. You sit in there all high and mighty tearing through stories like its nothing else.

twow: Point?

Blueblood: This will be the story that ends your riffing career. Because when you fail, I will kick you out of Equestria.

twow: Please Blueblood. I’ve gone through some really bad stories. I don’t plan on ending my riffing just yet.

Blueblood: We shall see human. We shall see...

Pinkie: Relax for a while T. You deserve it.

twow: Thanks Pinkie. This might get a little hairy.

*BUZZ*

twow: I’ve got break sign!

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 2

Hey guys. Back again.

Do I think this challenge was a really good idea? In hindsight, no not really. But one thing I don’t do is quit. At least, we’ll see if I can continue this. The last chapter hit me rather hard.

Alright, chapter 2. Twilight’s chapter to be exact. Twilight isn’t my favorite but she is, in the fact that she’s mostly like me. Bookworm, socially inept. Fluttershy fits me because I can by shy as all hell. But either way, this is going to be very painful for me.

Everyone, 120 Days of Blueblood, chapter 2

twow: If I plug the cord over here...

Pinkie: (from TV) Hey T! Whatcha doing?

twow: I’m creating a TV that fits on your wrist.

Pinkie: Really?

twow: Yeah. I’m trying to set it up so that it’ll pick up cable from anywhere in the world.

Pinkie: And I could call you on it!

twow: Well, I could turn it into a phone...

Blueblood: (from TV) I’ll take two.

twow: It’s not done and hell if I’m giving you anything.

Blueblood: Then I’ll just take them.

twow: Half the things in here can and will tear you to shreds. And I know how to use them.

Blueblood: I suppose.

twow: What do you want Blueblood?

Blueblood: Why, it’s time for the next phase of your punishment, human.

twow: Wonderful. Who is it this time?

(The lab doors open to reveal Twilight, shutting behind her.)

twow: Oh...oh no.

Twilight: twow? What are you doing? And is that the PRINCE?!

Blueblood: Welcome.

twow: NOW you stop being an ass...

Blueblood: You’re friend is in here because he spoke ill of me during one of your riffs. And it’s fitting that you are the next to share in his pain.

twow: He’s forcing me to go though this story called “120 Days of Blueblood.”

Twilight: What level of bad is this?

twow: Wanna read about him raping you?

Twilight: ...

twow: There ya go.

Blueblood: Enough chatting. twow, the next chapter begins now!

Twilight: Wait, is this your punishment?!

twow: Long story short, he’s trying to get me to quit so that I’ll get kicked out of Equestria.

Twilight: I’ll do my best to help.

twow: And that’s why we’re great friends.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

“It has often been said that power corrupts. But it is perhaps equally important to realize that weakness, too, corrupts. Power corrupts the few, while weakness corrupts the many."

— Eric Hoffer

twow: Being weak is pretty corrupting. The other day I got my ass kicked. Felt powerful.

Being a prince isn't all mindless frivolities.

twow: So raping Rarity’s family NEEDED to take place?

Twilight: New bill got drafted.

 On occasion I am called upon to rectify matters of grave importance. One such case was that of aunt Celestia's mad monk.

Twilight: The princess has monks?

twow: The Celestia Baptist Church.

Before she became a heretic who spouted forth the most unholy of blasphemies, she was a faithful scholar of the princess. The monk in question was a purple unicorn mare who had pink streaks in her otherwise purple mane.

Twilight: Oh crap. That’s me, isn’t it?

twow: I fail to see how I suffer when it’s you all that Blueblood’s tormenting.

 The scholar had lived in the castle from a young age, receiving tutelage from princess Celestia herself. Adept at the art of magic, the unicorn spent her time transcribing the words of Celestia as holy scripture. She worshiped the princess with as much fervor as anypony I had ever seen.

twow: Well, he’s got you there.

Twilight: ...

Not content to stick to her task of writing, the unicorn began to study the sciences. She probed the heavens with her telescope in an attempt to better understand the world around her.

twow: “Sadly, she forgot to use a condom.”

Twilight: “Never before were the heavens so violated.”

Too much knowledge can be a dangerous thing, especially for a mare. The monk's studies led her to conclude that the princesses were not responsible for raising the sun and the moon.

twow and Twilight: Wait, WHAT?

 She claimed that our planet merely revolved around the sun; and that the sun was the center of the universe.

twow: No, that’s how it works on EARTH. This is EQUESTRIA.

Twilight: I was there during the Summer Sun Celebration! I saw her raise the sun!

The unicorn's new learning resulted in her becoming disillusioned with the teachings of the princesses. She felt betrayed by them and began to resent her position within the kingdom. When the mare's 'madness' had fully consumed her, the unicorn made it her mission to share what she had learned with the citizens of Canterlot.

twow: It’s not madness if it’s fact.

Twilight: Wouldn’t I have gone to the princesses first?

She stood in the town square and shouted her heresy to anypony who would listen.

Twilight: “Here ye! Here ye!”

twow: “Our planet is all sorts of fucked up!”

 Ponies ran from her, as though her very words were the sound of a leper's bell. Citizens are wise enough to not be caught associating with anypony who dares to speak out against the royal family.

twow: Well, the Bill of Rights isn’t in effect here.

The mare continued to blaspheme the princesses, saying they should not be worshiped as gods, for their words were false. Her ravings soon caught the attention of the royal guards, who detained her and placed her in the dungeon.

Twilight: How long did it take?

twow: THREE DAYS!

In actuality, I knew that the mare was not mad, just too smart for her own good. In spite of her cleverness, she could not be allowed to sow the seeds of dissent throughout the kingdom. My aunt's were busy with their royal duties, which meant it fell upon me to extract a recantment from this heretic.

twow: I’m quite sure that Celestia would want to deal with her own student.

As I descended the cold and slimy steps which led to the dungeons, my nose wrinkled at the smell of mold and decaying flesh. When the prisoners heard my footsteps approaching, the ponies who still possessed their tongues screamed in ragged breaths for me to kill them and end their suffering.

Twilight: STILL POSSESSED?!

twow: Tongue fetish. Calling it now.

 The other prisoners made garbled moans; begging for death in their own special way. I walked briskly passed them, as I had more pressing matters to deal with.

twow: “The last color in the rainbow shall be mine!”

Twilight: “The violet is calling me.”

In an isolated part of the dungeon stood the scholar. She looked a sight. Her mane was unkempt and dirty. She teetered drunkenly, as the braces on her hooves had forced her to remain in a standing position all night. Her eyes were unfocused, due to a lack of sleep and enduring intense pain.

twow: You ready for this Twi?

Twilight: As ready as I’m gonna be.

A bloody gauze covered the stump of her formerly majestic horn. It had been removed so that her magic could never again be used to perpetuate her heresies.

twow: Hmm. At least you won’t be horny anymore. (brutally smacked by Twilight)

Once she heard my approach, the mare tried to focus her gaze on me. Blood from her horn wound trickled down her face, stinging her eyes. She took raspy, shallow breaths through her open mouth.

twow: So rude.

Twilight: I know. Everypony knows that you need to close your mouth when you breathe.

Prior to my visit she had met with high-ranking members of the clergy. It was common practice for ponies of the cloth to pour boiling water down the throats of heretics, as a means of cleansing their soul of impurities.

twow: That’ll take care of that sore throat.

Twilight: I kinda enjoyed the cough drop method.

 As a result of this treatment, her lips and mouth were now covered in burns and blisters.

twow: There isn’t enough ChapStick in the world...

As I approached her sweat-covered body, I could feel my stallionhood beginning to stir. Even when she was just a quiet student of Celestia's, I had engaged in lustful thoughts towards her.

Twilight: And I feel violated.

twow: Already?

Twilight: This gets WORSE?

On several occasions I had fantasized about taking the monk and ravaging her while atop the calligraphy desk. Her quill ink would stain her coat as my semen stained her insides.

twow: That answer your question?

Twilight: I hate this.

Considering my wanton desires towards her, it was quite fortuitous that I would be the one to inflict this new torture on the nonbeliever.

twow: New torture is the best torture.

Twilight: You have problems.

twow: That what they told me when I started this riffing career.

I asked the scholar if she would recant her testimony. Tears welled in her eyes as she stared at me. The mare slowly shook her head, as she cried. The purple unicorn strained to speak with her burned throat, as she managed to croak out a response of 'no.'

Twilight: That sounds like me alright.

twow: Stubborn to the end. I love it.

I contemplated what a blow job would feel like rubbing against her blistered mouth. In the end, I decided against it, as I felt she might attempt to take my member with her as a final act of defiance.

twow: I’m surprised you didn’t rip her teeth out.

Twilight: TWOW!

 I reasoned that I would have to find another set of lips on the mare that were less prone to violence.

twow: “How low can you go?”

Twilight: And now you decide to sing.

I asked the unicorn why she had rejected the words of the princesses and strayed from the path of perfection to become a whore for Discord. She responded by saying that her loyalty was to the truth. A truth which the princesses kept hidden from their subjects.

Twilight: Why DID they hide that anyway?

twow: Good point. From the beginning they could have just told everypony the truth.

Twilight: And I doubt Blueblood will give us a straight answer.

twow: He’ll monologue about it while he’s fucking you. (smacked by Twilight)

I accused her of spreading chaos and disharmony with her blasphemies. The monk stared at me as I smiled condescendingly at her. She tried to clear her throat and ended up wheezing because of the pain.

Twilight: I’m surprised I still HAVE a throat.

twow: Sure you won’t be able to eat or drink without agonizing pain, but it’s there.

Once the unicorn had regained her composure, she dared to ask me if I believed my aunts really did control the sun and the moon. I leaned in close and told her that ponies all over Equestria needed to believe in the princesses as gods.

twow: Which, if the princesses had been honest about before, WOULDN’T BE LIKE THAT!

Twilight: This makes no sense!

 I said to the purple pony that faith was a strong thing to live one's life by. The scholar said that I had failed to answer her question. She wanted to know if I lived my life by faith. I smiled and said that I didn't need faith, for I had something stronger to help guide my actions...power.

Twilight: The power to be terribly out of context!

twow: The power of the reason! (smacked by the TWE) What?!

Glancing over at a wall of torture devices, my eyes rested on three phallic-shaped contraptions. I levitated the smallest one over, which was still an uncomfortable five inches long. I informed the scholar that this device was known as the pear of anguish.

twow: Is it better than the apple of immodestly?

Twilight: What about the banana of innuendo?

twow: I kinda like the cucumber of misunderstanding.

Twilight: But nothing can beat the carrot of raunchiness.

The instrument consisted of four leaves that slowly separated from each other as the screw at the top was turned. There was a small spike at the tip of its phallic shape that split into four segments as the leaves of the device were opened.

twow: THAT’s where my apple peeler went!

I informed the monk that the anal pear was typically reserved for dealing with colt cuddlers, but in her case, I was willing to make an exception.

Twilight: “This is for fondling fillies!”

twow: Don’t you start with the alliteration Twi.

The unicorn was too exhausted to struggle as I approached her face. I slid the metal instrument into her blistered mouth and rubbed it in and out to make it wet enough for insertion. Once the device was prepped, I moved around to her hindquarters.

twow: Back is best.

Twilight: Stop the story.

twow: Are you sure? Because we could-

Twilight: STOP IT NOW!!

twow: Okay! Breaks are good!

twow: Damn Twilight. Are you okay?

Twilight: I know what’s going to happen. I’m just trying to prepare.

twow: It’s okay if you break down. That’s why I’m here.

Twilight: But I don’t want to do that. I need to stay strong for you.

twow: Me?

Twilight: This is your trial twow. I can’t afford to be selfish and distract from that.

twow: Twilight Sparkle!

Twilight: What?

twow: (hugs Twilight) That’s so kind of you, but please. Don’t worry about it! I’ve tackled worse.

Twilight: Really?

twow: Granted, Fallen was there, but yeah...

Twilight: Look twow. I believe in you, okay?

twow: And I believe in YOU. So don’t hold your emotions in for me, okay?

Twilight: Really?

twow: Duh. If I break, you’ll help me and vica versa, right?

Twilight: Of course!

twow: Then we have nothing to worry about.

Twilight: (hugs twow) Thanks.

twow: You bet. Now we have a fucked up rape scene to get though.

Twilight: As best as we can.

*BUZZ*

twow and Twilight: We’ve got story sign!

I informed the scholar that this was her last chance to recant her testimony. She responded by saying that I go and fornicate myself.

Twilight: With a rusty sawblade.

twow: Great. Now I’m gonna get sued by Fallen.

I chuckled as I inserted the pear into her tight anal cavity. Her injured throat became torn as the pain in her ass forced her to let out a hoarse scream. When the device was inserted the full five inches, I pulled it out partially. Blood trickled from her hole as the the tiny spike had already gone to work scraping up her rectum's insides.

Twilight: (wince)

twow: I...don’t have a joke for that one.

When the mare became a monk, she took a vow of celibacy. Today, I intended to break that vow, along with her hymen, ass and will.

twow: Don’t forget her mind.

Twilight: Or heart.

twow: Or spleen.

Her pussy was painfully dry as my hot stallionhood approached it.

twow: “Damn it! I used too much IcyHot again!”

 To distract her from the impending loss of her virginity, I reinserted the anal pear completely. The unicorn screamed again as a mixture of blood and drool fell from her perpetually-open mouth.

twow: That’s gonna be a hell of a fruit salad. (smacked by Twilight)

I pressed my swollen bulb against her tender flesh. I played up the pomp and ceremony by telling her that she was a whore of Discord and had sinned against her god. As prince, it was my duty to purge the kingdom of evil.

Twilight: If he caught me before I did any real damage, then how did I cause chaos?

twow: Learning.

The mare's mouth was too badly burned to utter a reply. It would be difficult for her to make any confessions now, as her recent screaming had internally lacerated her burned throat.

Twilight: At least he didn’t use whips.

twow: Kinky (shot by Twilight)

I shouted that my actions were for the glory of Luna, Celestia and Equestria as I slammed my member inside her virgin marehood with one swift thrust. Blood poured from her vagina as her hymen tore to accommodate my girth.

twow: Must...resist...dick size...joke.

 At the feeling of being filled for the first time, the scholar could only respond by to coughing up fresh blood from her wounded throat.

Twilight: “I didn’t know my inside was so small.”

twow: DAAAAMN. (hi-fives Twilight)

I stood motionless inside her for a moment. My cock simply reveled in the gentle carcasses of her warm folds of flesh. I told the scholar that if her upper lips were as cooperative as her lower lips, she would've recanted her heresies the instant they left her filthy mouth.

twow: “I knew I should have stayed home today.”

Twilight: “Why did I eat my mouthwash and drink the toothpaste?”

I could feel the screw of her anal pear pressing against my stomach. Using my magic, I twisted the screw once to separate and expand the four leaves inside her.

twow: You need plenty of sunlight for that.

Twilight: And water. Not blood, water.

She cried and shook her head violently as the four tiny spikes opened and pierced her anal flesh. The leaves stretched her rectal walls beyond their capacity. More blood trickled from her ass onto my shaft, which made a wonderful lubricant for her tight pussy.

twow: Sounds like something Dracula liked.

The sensation of the pear was a unique experience for me. I could feel the two lower leaves expanding on either side of my shaft. A small layer of perineum flesh was all that stood between my member and a ghastly instrument of torture.

twow: Wut.

Twilight: (flipping though dictionary) Nope, I can’t find that word. I might need to get a new dictionary.

To distract her from her pain in her bleeding ass, I began ramming myself into her at greater speeds. The sensation of my cock rubbing itself against the leaves of the pear did not cause me any pain. The same could not be said for the mare, who's sobs indicated the excruciating nature of this torture.

Twilight: Well, I knew that it wasn’t going to tickle!

twow: It was supposed to arouse you.

Twilight: Because my behind being torn apart is arousing.

twow: Blueblood’s enjoying it.

Twilight: ...

Her teeth were stained red from the large amounts of blood she had spat from her mouth. The monk fought against the intense pain in order to communicate. She begged me to stop the merciless onslaught on her holes.

twow: “Please! The monologue! It hurts!”

Twilight: “Just kill me now!”

 I asked if she would deny her earlier statements. After pausing to consider her options, the obstinate mare refused to recant. I was simultaneously impressed with her pain threshold, and eager to try and break it.

twow: Hammers work best.

Twilight: I’d throw a speeding Rainbow Dash at it.

twow: (thinking) Yeah, that’d do it.

I twisted the screw a second time, further separating the leaves. The scholar's ass was damaged beyond any hope of recovery at this point. I pounded into her with increasing ferocity as our thighs slapped together.Her hot hole felt like heaven as it stroked my searing spear.

Twilight: Missing space AND alliteration?!

twow: Bronystories loves us, I can tell.

I spanked her ass with my hoof, causing the monk to yelp in shock. I continued to piston the mare's privates as I informed her that it was the fate of all who dared question the princesses' supreme authority to be brought low in the depths of humility.

twow: “But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t win the Piston Cup.”

Using my magic, I began to wiggle the pear inside her ass, The spikes tore more flesh in her rectal passage. Blood seeped from her sphincter as I screwed her pussy at a frenzied pace.

Twilight: His medication wore off.

twow: And he forgot his Viagra.

Unable to bear the intense pain any longer, the unicorn screamed out her confession. The mare said that she was a blasphemous heretic who had lied about our benevolent and holy rulers. She denied all her studies and learning, and begged for the tortures imposed upon her to cease.

Twilight: If I had been fighting it this long, I wouldn’t give up then!

twow: That’s the spirit!

The sensation of breaking her mentally, as well as anally, was too much for my member to contain. I came inside her womb, filling it with my seed.

twow: I guess we’re just gonna forget the whole vaginal part then.

Twilight: It wasn’t that important.

 I announced that I had cleansed her body of the evil thoughts that had plagued her mind. The mare didn't reply, she just wept. I had successfully decimated her will.

twow: Will! We forgot that one Twilight.

Twilight: Drat!

Retracting the pear, I removed it from her asshole. Blood flowed forth from her wounded rectum and spilled onto my cock. Once I had finished my orgasm, I pulled out and allowed the copious amounts of rich, thick ejaculate to pour from her deflowered vagina. The white and red puddles mingled together on the stone floor of the dungeon.

twow: “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas...”

Twilight: “Blood...all over...the floor...”

The mare stood there crying as blood leaked from her three holes. I dipped the pear in a bucket of water to rinse off the blood, before returning it to the shelf.

Now that the confession had been obtained, there was no further need for the mare to speak.

Twilight: It’s not like I could speak anyway.

twow: You could BARELY speak. He’s going to remove that option.

I levitated a collar that was attached to a metal bar with two sharp prongs on each end. The device was known as the heretic's fork, and was designed to prevent the wearer from speaking.

I lifted the mare's chin up and attached the collar around her neck.

twow: “Now bark!”

Twilight: “Meow!”

 I tightened the strap, allowing the prongs on one end to press under her chin, while the other prongs rested on her upper chest. Any attempts to speak would cause the sharp tips to dig further into her flesh.

twow: You could have called it a SPORK. (smacked by Twilight)

Twilight: That was bad, and you should feel bad.

Attaching a leash to the collar, I led the sorrowful mare out of the dungeon. As I marched her past the other prisoners, the ones who still had their eyes stared enviously at the monk.

Twilight: Why are they envious?

twow: She might be going to suffer, but she’s going to die.

Twilight: How is that good again?

twow: She’s gonna be free.

The scholar was led to the town square, where a pile of sticks had been set. A huge crowd had gathered to watch the heretic burn. The congregation met as an expression of their faith in the princesses, rather than in a desire to see the condemned die. Those who avoided the public execution could be perceived as sympathizing with the heretic, so the turnouts for such events were always high.

twow: They could always be busy. Having a life and all that.

Twilight: Having a life is overrated.

twow: I know right?! (hi-fives Twilight)

The unicorn tried to speak, but the fork pressing against her chin and chest prevented her from opening her mouth. All she could do was quietly moan through gritted teeth; and even that hurt as making any sort a sound further taxed her strained vocal chords.

twow: Then she wouldn’t have spoken ANYWAY.

Twilight: The fork thing was just to be cruel.

Celestia and Luna never sullied themselves by appearing at public executions, so the duty fell upon me to preside at them. I presented the mare to the people, saying that she was an unholy agent of chaos. A whore of Discord. The common masses booed at the mention of the dark one's name.

Twilight: Wouldn’t THIS be chaotic?

twow: This isn’t the first execution he’s done. This is probably like clockwork for him.

I stated that the condemned had confessed to her unholy crimes. The scholar plead guilty to the most grievous acts of blasphemy and heresy. Eager to be perceived as showing contempt, the crowd booed and cursed the mare.

twow: “How dare you wear purple!”

Twilight: “Make it blue!!”

Unable to look at the jeering crowd any longer, the monk raised her eyes to the heavens and stared at the clouds. Tears ran down her cheeks as she continued to whimper.

twow: Can we break now?

Twilight: You doing alright?

twow: Yeah, maybe...

Twilight: Sure. We can break.

Pinkie: You hanging in there T?

twow: No matter how many times I read a rape scene, it never gets easier.

Twilight: (hugging twow) You did really good though.

Pinkie: Awww. Hey, I know just the person for you!

twow: Who?

Pinkie: Just one moment...

(The TV fades into static.)

twow: Do you know who she’s getting?

Twilight: No idea.

(The static disappears to reveal Nocturnal Melodies)

twow: Pinkie Pie, you never cease to amaze.

NocturnalMelodies: Hey twow. ‘Sup?

twow: Hey there Nocturnal. Just...trying to riff this.

Twilight: twow’s being punished to riff this story, but he’s struggling with it. I guess that’s why Pinkie called you in.

No_M: Well geez. That sucks. What story?

twow: 120 Days of Blueblood, chapter 2.

No_M: Christ. What on earth did you do to deserve that? I’ve heard EXTREMELY unpleasant things about this story...

twow: After we riffed “Marshmallow Holes” Rarity, Twilight and I were talking shit about Blueblood. He found out SOMEhow. And now I’m here.

No_M: God... Anything I can do to help ease the pain? Like, maybe fetching you some ice cream cake? Ice cream cake always makes me feel better.

twow: Do you have Oreo flavor?

No_M: If Oreo flavor ice cream cake is what you want, then I can definitely get you some.

twow: You are an angel.

Twilight: Whoa there twow. Isn’t she taken?

twow: I didn’t mean it like THAT Twilight. Give me a little credit.

No_M: Haha, anything else I can get you?

Twilight: You like cream soda, twow?

twow: Oh hell YES.

???: (offscreen) Who the hell are you talking to?

No_M: Wait. I know that voice...

Fallen Prime: I’d be deeply offended if you didn’t.

twow: And a wild Fallen appeared.

No_M: Prime? What the piss are you doing here?

Fallen: Trying to figure out- ...“what the piss?”

Blueblood: What is going on?! twow is supposed to be enduring his punishment!

twow: It’s called a “break” Ever heard of them?

Twilight: I don’t understand anymore.

Fallen: Oh god. If Blueballs is making you do a riff, then... oh, you poor, doomed child.

twow: Wait a second...

Blueblood: Is this the human that is fond of the pink pony?

twow: Pinkie? Yeah, that’s him.

Fallen: Why the fuck are we helping you? “120 Days of Blueblood” is the ultimate suffering! If anything, I should be in there with the Asshole Formerly Known as Prince with a giant tub of popcorn!

Blueblood: But of course you’ll be joining! You won’t be on this side of the TV though...

twow: That’s not ominous or anything.

Fallen: We’ll see how far your power really extends, Prince Microdick. Though... if I may ask a favor of you?

Blueblood: Depends. What is it?

Fallen: If you’re going to try and force me to endure Pinkie Pie’s chapter, as you oh-so-subtly threatened, you have to make my dear, sweet, innocent girlfriend sit through the upcoming Fluttershy chapter.

No_M: HEY. NO FUCK YOU. Well... Okay, if it helps twow get through the chapter I GUESS I can do it, but you are SO paying for suggesting that later.

Fallen: I’m not scared.

Blueblood: Hmm, I accept.

twow: Nocturnal, are you sure about this? This story is rough.

Fallen: I know it is. That’s why I’m throwing her under the bus.

No_M: Yeah, love you too Prime. And it’s fine twow. I can handle most things. If anything, I’ll be there for the moral support.

twow: Thanks guys. Means a lot. Guess we better get back to this now.

(A brick lands in front of the monitor with a note tied to it.)

Twilight: What the heck?!

(The note carefully unfurls, revealing horrible handwriting. Seems the person who wrote it hasn’t written print in years...)

twow: What the hell does it say?

“Reading transcript. Lagging behind everyone else. Be with ya soon, bud. -S”

Fallen: ...transcript? Pinkie, I thought you made AUDIO recordings.

Pinkie: I never said I DIDN’T make these as well!

Fallen: But... “S” is somehow reading it NOW.

twow: Noted. Alright guys, time for me to finish this, well me and Twilight.

Fallen: You do that. I’mma hit the sack. Have fun storming the castle.

No_M: Alright. Bye twow. I’ll bring that ice cream cake over for the Fluttershy chapter Prime somehow roped me into.

twow: You bet.

(The tv blips away from Fallen and Nocturnal)

Twilight: You have nice friends.

twow: They’re your friends as well Twilight. You ready?

Twilight: Yup! Let’s do this!

*BUZZ*

twow and Twilight: We’ve got story sign!

I cautioned the audience to take heed and learn a lesson from the pitiful wretch.

twow: “If you don’t want to end up like this, don’t learn.”

Twilight: “School is for the weak!”

 The monk's story was proof that one is always capable of falling away, no matter how close one is to perfection. I told them that this mare was closer to Princess Celestia than any of them, and yet she was still tempted away from her glorious light to walk the winding path of disharmony.

Twilight: If I was the closest to her, then I would have gone to her FIRST.

twow: And Celestia would have wanted to deal with you. She could have taken time off.

I discouraged them from learning, citing that too much knowledge was a dangerous thing, as this mare had proven. The citizens nodded in solemn agreement. The scholar looked horrified as she gazed out into the crowd of mindless fools, who would no sooner turn lead into gold as lift a hoof to help her.

twow: Because heaven forbid you ALL rise up at once.

Twilight: Probably still wouldn’t work.

I chuckled as I said that the captain of the guards would be providing her last meal. A white unicorn stallion with a blue mane sat behind the stage. He was captain of the guards, and a staunch defender of the realm.

twow: Oh no...

Twilight: He didn’t.

A local strumpet was deep-throating his tool, in preparation for the upcoming event. When I called his name, the slutty mare relinquished his firm stallionhood as the captain marched on stage with military precision.

twow: Maybe it’s a different white stallion with a blue mane?

Twilight: That’s also the captain?!

twow: One can hope.

What few in the audience knew, was that the captain of the guards was the brother of the condemned. The stallion was fiercely loyal to the princesses, to the point of publicly shaming his sister.

(twow and Twilight look at each other and nod)

twow and Twilight: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I announced that before her execution, the monk would give suck to the captain of the guards. He would nourish her with a last meal of stallion seed before her soul would be plunged into the fiery depths of tartarus. The whore would then join her master and be forced to fellate the god of chaos for all eternity.

twow: So,Discord wants blowjobs? Is that it?

Twilight: Well, I guess I could think of worse things to do forever.

The mare raised her chin as I twisted the fork 90 degrees. I freed her mouth that she might be better able to service her brother. Her eyes met with the captain's. She timidly asked for her brother to help her. He gave his sister an icy stare.

twow: He’s cool as ICE.

 He called the scholar a whore and told her to be silent. Whatever spirit the purple unicorn had left was broken with those cutting words from her sibling.

Twilight: (voice breaking) But....we’re BBBFF’s...

twow: (hugs Twilight) Do you want me to take this part?

Twilight: I’ll...do my best.

The captain's eager member glistened in the afternoon sun. The mare protested and begged her brother to not do this vile deed. The captain ignored her and slapped her face. He acted as though he had no sister.

twow: “Those family pictures were all photoshopped!”

 As far as he was concerned, his younger sibling had died when she dared to question the princesses. All that stood before him now was a slut of chaos who needed to be punished and humiliated.

Twilight: I’ve questioned the princesses all the time!

twow: Apparently thinking is bad.

His precum coated her mouth as he pressed his cock head against her blistered lips. The captain thrust inside and began to fornicate his sister's throat. Her injured mouth was barely able to contain her brother's massive cock.

twow: Twi, I’m going to be respectful and NOT make the dick joke.

Twilight: Thanks...

The burns she sustained had removed her taste buds, prevented the mare from savoring the flavor of the captain's throbbing tool.

It was the first time the monk had ever performed fellatio. She was inexperienced to be sure; but after her recent rape, the mare had a general idea of what was required to make a stallion ejaculate.

twow: Maybe, but not with her MOUTH!

At the captain screwed his sister's face with more force, her lip blisters began to burst from the rapid rubbings they received. Puss and other fluids erupted from her open sores, dripping down the mare's chin and further lubricating her sadistic sibling's shaft.

Twilight: Good thing I can’t taste it.

twow: That’d be a hell of a milkshake.

In spite of her brother making her suffer such a gross ignominy, the sister never attempted to bite down on his cock. The mare knew she was going to die and appeared to have resigned herself to her fate.

twow: That and the fact that she loves the shit out of her brother.

Twilight: Didn’t I give up three paragraphs ago?

The scholar seemed to be getting more active in fellating the captain. In spite of the intense pain she was experiencing in her mouth, it was as though she wanted to make her brother happy before she died.

twow: That...damn.

Twilight: twow?

twow: I’m okay!

Twilight: (gently hugs twow)

 Even if the stallion had been brainwashed to hate her now, she had been given the opportunity to pleasure him and had no intention of squandering it. The captain encouraged his sister, telling her to suck him harder like a slutty bitch.

twow: I guess you could think of it as a “sucker.” (smacked by the sun)

I gazed out into the audience. Mothers were shielding their children's eyes from the perverse display. Young mares cried out in horror. Some of the more salacious stallions were stroking themselves in full public view. They had no shame; they knew all eyes would be on the stage anyways.

Twilight: The moral code died.

twow: It was eradicated the first time Blueblood opened his mouth.

The wounds in her throat were opened anew as the firm shaft rubbed her mouth raw. Blood began to trickle from the corners of her lips as she desperately tried to make her brother cum. Amidst all of the commotion, the monk's punctured ass continued to leak blood from her gaping hole.

Twilight: “You could use it as a cupholder.”

twow: O_O

The captain of the guards continued to hammer himself down the mare's throat. His cock was coated with his sister's saliva and blood. The stallion felt a tingling in his balls and knew he was close.

twow: “I’ve almost reached the finish!”

Twilight: “I will NOT be in second place again!”

The brother pulled his cock out of his sister's mouth. His shaft was coated a dark red color from her blood. As the captain pressed his twitching cock head against her puss-oozing lips, the sister suckled the stallion's tip like a foal at its mother's teat. The captain called the mare a whore and told her to enjoy her last meal as he ejaculated into her mouth.

twow: You did it wrong! It goes with toast!

Twilight: Part of a complete breakfast.

A deluge of her brother's cum flooded the mare's mouth. The stallion let out a satisfied groan as he deposited his seed down his sister's bleeding throat.

The other stallions who had been pleasuring themselves in the audience also reached their climax when the captain came.

twow: TIMING!

 They ejaculated their common seed onto the ground, or into the tails and manes of oblivious mares who were standing in front of them. I reveled in the perversity of it all.

Twilight: And the mares...just didn’t notice?

twow: They were hiding the fact that they were enjoying it.

The captain commanded the scholar to not spill any of his seed. She humbly complied by swallowing all of the stallion's sperm. When the captain pulled away from the mare, some in the audience cheered. The scholar looked pleadingly up at her brother and confessed that she still loved him and was sorry for shaming their family.

twow: (twitch)

Twilight: We...can do this.

Not wanting to appear weak or sentimental towards a heretic, the brother spat in her eye and said he hoped she would burn slowly for her blasphemy.

twow: BURN IN HELL YOU CUNT BAG!!!

 Her heart completely broken, the mare closed her eyes and began to wail loudly as a thin trail of blood ran down the corners of her mouth and onto the floor. The purple pony knew there was no solace left for her in this world.

Twilight: twow...

twow: I had to let one of them out Twi. I’m sorry.

In order to shut up the howling nuisance, I forcibly elevated her chin and repositioned the fork so its sharp tines once again restricted her speech. She stood there blubbering, unable to open her mouth as she watched her brother march off stage without giving her a second look.

twow: “If I look back, I’ll turn into salt!”

With her last meal completed, the execution of the heretic could begin in earnest. She was marched off the stage and down towards the crowd.

Twilight: Is it bad that I’m glad she’s going to die now?

twow: Not at all.

A large pole had been erected amidst a pile of sticks. A rope was used to tie the mare's fore-hooves together, with the other end being attached to the top of the pole. She was forced to stand on her hind legs, facing the crowd, as her fore-hooves were raised over her head and the rope grew taught.

twow: “Raise your hands in the air, if you feel right!”

Twilight: (whistles)

With her leaking ass and puss-oozing mouth, the scholar was truly a despicable sight. The crowd heaped scorn and ridicule on the monk as she moaned in pain, unable to open her mouth due to the fork.

twow: I find it very hard to believe that not ONE pony took pity on her.

Twilight: “Damn this silverware!”

To send a further message about the dangers of learning, the monk's room had been searched and all of her notes and scrolls chronicling the things she had studied were to be burned with her. The purple unicorn wept as she saw all of her books and parchments scattered before her.

Twilight: (twitch)

twow: Blueblood, death is too good for you.

Big bonfires were once used to burn heretics, until it was discovered that the condemned were dying too quickly from smoke inhalation. To rectify this problem, smaller fires are now used in order to prolong the suffering of blasphemers. I approached the mare while levitating a burning torch. I asked the scholar if she had any last words.

twow: “Do you...like trains?”

Twilight: “Why yes...OH NO.” (hit by train)

The mare tried to speak, but could only manage to say 'ah,' not wanting to impale her mouth on the fork. I chuckled at her feeble attempt to communicate and said mockingly that's what they all say. My joke elicited uproarious laughter from the crowd as I placed the torch on the books near her hind legs.

twow: “Burn, baby burn!” (smacked by Twilight)

Twilight: That was my line!

twow: ...you make me proud.

A loud 'MMMMM!' was heard as the heretic screamed without opening her mouth. The flames licked at her hooves as she wriggled like a worm on a hook.

Twilight: Perfect bait to fish with!

twow: Gotta catch the bass.

 The writings were consumed in the fire almost instantly, and their author would soon follow them.

Most of the crowd in attendance looked on in horror, while several were eliciting a perverse delight from the proceedings. I know, because I was one of them.

twow: Oops. I almost fooled myself into thinking you WEREN’T a piece of shit.

Twilight: Be more careful twow.

The pain of her fiery death was more than the mare could tolerate. Disregarding the fork at her chin, the scholar let out a bloodcurdling scream, accented by the fact that the sharp tines had punctured the bottom of her mouth.

twow: If you cut her tongue, she’d be a snake.

Twilight: You’re reaching, aren’t you?

twow: So far...

 Blood poured out of the two wounds in the underside of the purple pony's chin and ran down her chest as she screamed for water and pleaded for somepony to put the fire out.

A royal guard approached the fire and sat on his haunches. The guard asked in a mocking tone if the heretic was getting too hot and offered to cool her down.

Twilight: What? Somepony’s being nice to me?

 The lewd stallion then proceeded to relieve himself on the mare. His urine streaked up in an arc splashing against her coat and mane. The guard was careful to not accidentally put our the fire. The mare sputtered as the acrid piss filled her mouth and dribbled out the two holes made by the tines.

Twilight: WHAT?!

twow: “Get yer lemonade here! All natural, only 25 cents!”

Wanting to join in the fun, other stallions encircled the fire and began pissing on the mare. Several streams hit her at once. All the stallions were careful to not extinguish the blaze, lest they be accused of sympathizing with the heretic. She shook her head violently, trying to shake off the stallion piss.

twow: They really need to cut back on their liquid intake.

Twilight: If the fire was smaller, how did they not put it out?

twow: Practice?

Twilight: That’s a horrible thought.

Due to the tines sticking through her chin, the mare was unable to close her mouth. This turned the pissing contest into a game, with stallions competing to see who could aim the most pee into her bleeding face hole. It was quite challenging as the mare refused to keep her head still.

twow: It’s like basketball.

Twilight: Without the ball.

twow: Or a willing participant.

 The stallion's stream had to follow her as she moved her open mouth left to right. I was doubled up with silent laughter and made a mental note to incorporate an event similar to this in this year's Blue Moon Saturnalia Games.

twow: “And for our next event, Extreme Watersports!”

The monk was gargling urine and would have spat it out to try and put out the fire, but the fork prevented her from bending her neck down. Once all the stallion's bladders had been depleted, the strong stench of urine outweighed the smell of the fire and singed pony flesh.

twow: Not even Glade could cover it up.

Twilight: Plug it in! Plug it in!

The unicorn continued to burn for what must have felt like an eternity to her, but in actuality was only a couple of hours. In the end, the mare died of blood loss before the fire consumed her. If the monk had been in a more healthy condition when she was burned, she could've lasted much longer.

Twilight: And whose fault is THAT?

 I made a mental note to not torture the next heretic as severely in order to make her death more excruciating.

The scholar's stinking, charred corpse was hoisted up and left hanging in the public square for days. The birds of prey enjoyed having a cooked meal for once.

twow: “Sweet! Barbeque!”

In spite of his outward bravado at the execution, the captain of the guards was subsequently wracked with guilt over how he treated his sister in her final hours.

twow: Hmm. Wonder why.

Twilight: Being a B.B.B.F.F is a serious commitment.

 Unable to live with himself, the captain committed suicide shortly there after by throwing himself off the highest tower in the castle.

twow: “I believe I can fly...” (lightly tapped by Twilight) No smack?

Twilight: I...I’m going to give you that one.

The note he left behind was just five letters: 'B.B.B.F.F.' I spent the next few days selecting an appropriate replacement for the dearly departed captain.

Twilight: “Preferably with wings.”

As for the unicorn's purple horn? I kept it as a memento of my service to the princesses and the kingdom. As I said, being a prince comes with responsibilities. The secret to happiness lies in deriving pleasure out of the most menial of tasks.

Twilight: Such as murdering a unicorn, after raping her and forcing her brother to do the same.

twow: Yup...yup...yup...

Twilight: Twow! We’re getting out NOW!

Pinkie: (from TV) Twow! Are you okay?!

twow: Hangin in there Pinkie. Not done just yet.

Twilight: You scared me twow.

twow: That was horrible. I thought nothing was worse than Rarity’s chapter...

Twilight: I know twow. But you did it, and I’m proud of you.

twow: I’m proud of YOU. You didn’t break.

Twilight: It was close. I thought about helping you though, and I kept my cool. For the most part.

twow: (hugs Twilight)

Blueblood: Well? How was that chapter, human?

twow: What the fuck do you THINK?!

Blueblood: Went well?

twow: I will murder everything you love.

Twilight: twow...

(The sounds of crashing and banging can be heard near Pinkie and Blueblood.)

twow: What the fuck...

??? (TV): INNNNNCOMIIIIIING!!!!! OUTTA THE WAY, ROYAL PAIN-IN-THE-NECK!

Pinkie: Steel!

twow: You’re joking.

Steel: (Leaps onto the scene while vaulting over Blueblood.) You bet!

Blueblood: What is this?! What are you doing here?!

Steel: (Hands a stack of papers to Blueblood.) Chapter 1, along with Twow’s riff. I want you to read it.

Blueblood: I don’t have to read his riff. I was there for it.

Steel: Not the riff, bubula. It’s all text on the screen, so I don’t think you heard the story itself.

Blueblood: And if I don’t?

Steel: Weeeell, I don’t think you truly acknowledge how greatthe story is until you read it...

(Blueblood takes the papers and walks off, reading it.)

twow: How the hell did you get in there?

Steel: Would you believe me if I said I used my manly muscles and tore down the blast door?

twow: I probably wouldn’t believe you.

Steel: Pinkie was going around, and I begged her to bring me along.

Twilight: That’s more believable.

(Blueblood returns with the pages, slightly pale.)

Steel: (Looks over at him.) Welllll, Royal Nobleblood! Great story, right? Bet you lovedit.

Blueblood: It was...quite the experience.

Steel: (Smiles at him.) Yeah, I read the same passage. What was your favorite part? The bit where you committed a minor to your ‘royal’... er... hm, what’s the politically correct term?

twow: Dick Steel. The word is dick.

Steel: Right, right, sorry. ‘Royal’ dick. Really had fun with that one. (Grins at Blueblood.) Bet it’s great being the star in this story! Especiallywith a lovely mare like Rarity!

Blueblood: What are you getting at?

twow: He’s calling you an ass BB. We all are. You are an ass.

Steel: Actually, no. I’m just fantasizing about Twilight pulling you limb from limb. And Rarity popping your eyes with sewing needles. And Applejack treating you to a trick I know very well called the ‘Family Jewels Buck’.

Pinkie: That’s quite a gem Steel!

All: (facepalm/hoof)

Steel: (Grins at her.) Yeah, real special to me. Also problematic when she does it to me. (Looks back at Blueblood.) So, Blueblood, I’d like you to, as our friend twow here goes along, think of what you’re doing. Mm?

Blueblood: ...

twow: Pinkie, let Twilight out. She deserves it.

Pinkie: Sure thing!

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

Twilight: (hugs twow again) Good luck twow. Really.

twow: Thanks Twi. Get out of here. Get some rest.

(Twilight leaves the lab, the doors shutting behind her.)

Steel: So, twow. You’re in for the long run.

twow: That’s what the unicorn says. Don’t you worry though. I’ll beat him.

Pinkie: It was great to see you Steel! I think T deserves a break though.

Steel: Aye, I won’t keep ‘em. Stay strong, bud, we’re all behind ya. And Blueblood... well, good luck getting to sleep tonight. (Pats Blueblood on the head like a pup before getting up and heading out.) Right, time for another work shift!

twow: See ya Steel!

Steel: Later!

Pinkie: Get some rest T. I don’t know when the prince is gonna hit you with another chapter.

twow: I’ll be ready. As much as possible.

*BUZZ*

twow: I’ve got break sign!

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 3

Welcome back guys. Today we’re taking on chapter 3, Pinkie Pie’s chapter.

I’m not looking forward to this one, myself also being a person that loves to laugh and have fun. Hell, I’m discovering a lot about myself.

When I began this challenge, I told myself that this was to see if I belonged riffing. Looking on it, it’s more than that. This is to see if I can finally put my horrible memories behind me. Can I? Well, guess we’re gonna find out.

Fallen Prime is helping out this time, and frankly I couldn’t be more pleased about it. Huh. That’s a rare saying.

(Fuck you sideways with a rusty sawblade.)

Love ya too buddy.

Let’s not drag this one any longer. 120 Days of Blueblood,chapter 3.

twow: Alright, I should stack the power cells over here... holy shit. I have Lincoln’s Repeater?

Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Is that Primey’s?

twow: Not that I remember. He’s only sent over a few weapons for me to mess with.

Pinkie: What about my frying pan?

twow: (sighs) Yes Pinkie, I worked on the pan. Now you can cook with it as long as it isn’t dark.

Pinkie: Yay!

twow: I’ll never understand you.

Blueblood: (from TV) Hello there, twow.

twow: Oh look. It’s everyone’s favorite asshole.

Blueblood: I see that you still haven’t learned to curb your tongue.

twow: Please. I’m talking to YOU right?

Blueblood: Either way, it is time for the next part of your punishment.

twow: I guess...wait. Where the hell did Pinkie go....oh fuck no.

(The lab doors open to reveal Pinkie Pie, Derpy and Fallen Prime)

twow: Well. I wasn’t expecting that.

Fallen Prime: Jesus fuck, this is all in Derpy’s BASEMENT!?

twow: I’ve had a lot a spare time on my hands.

Fallen: Did that include expansion? I didn’t think you had any idea how to do anything like that. There’s no way the place was this big before you showed up.

twow: Well...maybe a little bit.

Derpy: (hugging twow) How are you holding up?

twow: Little better. Got rough.

Fallen: Oh god, Pinkie’s here. And Blueblood’s on the other side... twow, once that royal prick dies, you’re next.

Pinkie: That’s not very nice!

Fallen: I’M not very nice.

twow: How the hell was I supposed to know that Blueblood wanted you in here? I sure didn’t tell him!

Fallen: Remember last time? That’s how you were supposed to know.

twow: BEFORE then, dumbass.

Pinkie: That’s not very nice either!

Derpy: Both of you cut it out! We’re supposed to be supporting twow here!

Fallen: Support nothing. I’m just gonna riff and go. If twow suffers, that’s a fucking bonus.

Blueblood: I think I could get along with you.

twow: God. You both are horrible.

(The lab doors shut and lock.)

Derpy: Well, I guess we don’t have a choice now.

twow: I never did.

Fallen: If I have any regrets among the horrible events that have transpired in my wake... it’s that I’m riffing this.

twow: (takes deep breath) Alright. I’m ready.

Pinkie: This is gonna be so exciting!

Fallen: ...have you READ this chapter?

Pinkie: ...no?

twow: (twitch)

Derpy: It’s times like this that I don’t like coming in this basement.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

“The only real laughter comes from despair.”

― Groucho Marx

Fallen: Sounds about right.

twow: When it comes to you, yeah.

"The secret to happiness lies in deriving pleasure out of the most menial of tasks,"

Fallen: And exactly what here counts as “menial?”

twow: Raping an entire family and forcing Twilight’s brother to make her give him a blowjob.

Blueblood said, reading aloud from his journal. He had just finished relating his account of the dressmaker's family and Celestia's heretical student.

Derpy: They ran out of popcorn.

Prince Blueblood sat in his chambers with two other white unicorns. One of them was a large stallion with a blue mane and a mustache. He also wore a monocle over his left eye.

Pinkie: Hey, that’s Fancypants! Rarity would be happy to-

twow: Don’t finish that.

He was a noblecolt who wielded considerable power throughout the kingdom and shared the prince's love of lewd desires.

Pinkie: ...oh.

twow: There ya go.

 The mustachioed stallion was known to all as Fancy Pants. His mistress, the pink-maned Fleur-di-lis,

Fallen: For given variables of “Fleur de Lis.”

had her head buried in the stallion's lap and was eagerly fellating him.

Pinkie: ...in front of the prince?

Fallen: They had popcorn as Blueblood described killing Rarity and Twilight. Of COURSE in front of the prince.

The prince was entertaining his guests by reading to them entries of his former conquests and brutal acts of depravity.

Derpy: Because that’s entertaining.

twow: Even though it’s NOT.

"I say," Fancy Pants said to the mare, "the prince's lurid exploits have done more to stiffen my rod than even your skilled tongue, my dear."

twow: BURN.

 Fleur responded to this veiled insult by deepthroating his cock in an effort to please her master; gagging as she did so.

Pinkie: Fleur’s not his slave! I don’t even know if she’s his girlfriend!

Derpy: NOTHING in this story is correct Pinkie.

twow: Wait. Blueblood’s an asshole. That didn’t change.

Fallen: There’s a difference between “asshole” and “sadist.” There’s usually overlap, though.

twow: True...

"Mmm, there's a good filly," Fancy Pants said, patronizingly, as his hoof played with her flowing mane.

twow: “You’ll get your candy after bedtime.”

When the Prince read his journal entries, he was able to relive every moment of the act.

Fallen: He came instantly.

Blueblood could smell the cold sweat as it ran down their backs and hear their anguished cries. The prince ascribed to the belief that if you enjoy an experience, write it down to show how much you treasure it.

Derpy: Take a picture. It’ll last longer.

 This practice will increase the likelihood of it happening again.

Pinkie: I don’t think I want him writing it down anymore.

twow: There’s what, five more chapters? It’s happening again.

Fallen: Six right now. Seven, once he finishes the story.

Recounting his tales of cruelty had succeed in stiffening not only Fancy Pants' stallionhood, but Blueblood's member as well. Wishing to be seen as a true gentlecolt by his friends, the prince approached Fancy Pants and asked permission to ravage Fleur's marehood. Fancy Pants graciously gave his consent.

Fallen: Wow. Such an open relationship. How... touching?

twow: As touching as the relationship between man and beast.

Fleur was skinny and narrow. When Blueblood mounted her, she barely had the strength to support his weight. She groaned as she kept her nose pressed against the base of Fancy Pants' cock. The mustachioed stallion groaned with delight.

Fallen: Which is indistinguishable from boredom.

Pinkie: Aww, they need cheering up?

Fallen: You don’t have the willpower to do anything these sick fucks would need to be cheered up.

The mare fared no better at standing once the prince started to slowly insert his

Fallen: quarter-inch-

thick girth into her narrow passage. Her folds parted, allowing him greater access to her moist treasures. When she was completely filled,

Fallen: Damn, she is tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Pinkie: How would you even know?

Fallen: Inch and a half long, quarter inch thick, and Fleur is filled entirely.

twow: Moving on now.

Fleur let out a lustful moan that was muffled by Fancy Pants' suffocating shaft.

Derpy: (pokes twow) Look. Alliteration.

twow: DAMN IT.

Working her over with long, forceful thrusts, Blueblood pressed Fleur forward until the stallionhood in her mouth was pushed so far down her throat, the mare was incapable of drawing a breath.

Derpy: I tried to draw a breath before.

twow: How did it go?

Derpy: I broke all of my crayons in frustration.

In an act of mercy, Fancy Pants slid back, removing his member from her quivering gullet. Fleur choked and gasped for breath as soon as her windpipe was clear. The mare panted as she tried desperately to breathe. Fancy Pants ordered her to hold her head high, that her face might take his noble seed.

Pinkie: I’m surprised he’s not giving her cream filling!

Fallen: ...oh my GOD, Pinkie.

twow: And the girls were saying that WE were bad...

Fancy Pants stroked his stallionhood and ejaculated thick strands of gooey semen across his mistress' face. The first glob landed under her left eye, with the subsequent shots landing in her mane and on her nose. She raised a hoof and attempted to wipe away the semen near her eye.

twow: Perfect mask for Nightmare Night.

"Stop," Fancy Pants said in a quiet, yet commanding voice, "Lower your hoof. I want admire your cum-dabbled face a little while longer." Fleur obeyed her master and stared up into Fancy Pants' eyes.

Fallen: “I can barely see the stains on your coat anyway.”

twow: “This is why you use OxyClean.”

Prince Blueblood sensed that his orgasm was imminent. Wanting to enjoy a similar sport to Fancy Pants, the prince pulled out and walked around to use Fleur's pretty face as a cum rag. Traces of the noblecolt's jizz were streaking down the mare's face. Fleur was still panting, breathlessly.

Pinkie: But she’s panting, so how is she breathless?

Derpy: She’s out of breath from panting.

"I heard you choking earlier my dear," Blueblood said, in a mock tone of concern, "The best remedy for shortness of breathe is to make sure the nasal path is clear. Fortunately for you, I have some nose drops!"

twow: Do ya got some Benadryl?

Placing a hoof on either side of her head, Blueblood pulled forward and pressed the tip of his cock up against Fleur's right nostril.

Fallen: It slid right in.

twow: SOMEpony needs a hell of a nosejob.

Pinkie: Ewwwwwwwww!

She could smell the prince's musk, mingled with the feminine odors of her pussy. Those smells were quickly drowned out with the strong stench of ammonia as Blueblood ejaculated, filling her nostril with semen.

twow: OR THAT.

Pinkie: WOW! Are you psychic, T?

twow: I’ve been calling these things right and left. It’s starting to freak me out.

 She instinctively snorted her nose, spraying the stallion's seed back onto his cock. Blueblood hit her in the side of her head as he quickly moved his cock to her left nostril for his second load.

Derpy: Can I just quit life now?

"Ungrateful whore!" Blueblood shouted, "How dare you reject my gift! See you keep this in, lest I take a hot poker and solder all your holes shut!"

Fallen: Ruin her for your friend, why don’t you.

Derpy: It’s not like he could do anything about it. Remember how Blueblood’s already raped and murdered an entire family?

Blueblood filled her left nostril with cum. Rejecting her body's natural impulses, the mare actively inhaled, in order to keep as much of the semen in as possible.

twow: And choked to death on it.

Acting fast, the prince managed to fill her right nostril back up with his final spurts. Stepping back to admire his handiwork, semen leaked slowly out of both her nostrils, running down to her lips. Fleur sat there obediently snorting back semen, looking thoroughly miserable.

Pinkie: “Worst. Cocaine. Ever.”

twow: “Don’t do drugs kids!”

"I must say," Fancy Pants said, smirking, "I've never seen those holes get filled before."

Fallen: I refuse to believe Fancypants never did that to her.

Fancy Pants dismissed Fleur to go make herself look presentable before they departed.

"Yes master," she said, pathetically. She hadn't cum. They never cared if she came.

Fallen: Pfft. Men.

twow: O_O

When they were alone, Fancy Pants approached the prince with news from the kingdom.

"Are you aware of that gypsy in the Canterlot market gardens?" Fancy Pants asked the prince.

Pinkie: OOH! OOH! Is that me?

Derpy: You probably shouldn’t get so excited Pinkie.

"Her run down wagon has been a blight on the square for nearly a year," Blueblood replied, "She cons fools of their money and sells harmless trinkets. What about her?"

"Rumors are flying around that she may be a witch," Fancy Pants said,

Pinkie: “We can tolerate a gypsy, but a WITCH!?”

Fallen: “There are ways of TELLING whether she is a witch!”

"They say she has a sixth sense that can predict the future." Blueblood's face broke out in a sinister smile.

"I suppose, as prince, I owe it to my fellow Equestrians to interrogate the mare and discern the validity of the accusations leveled against her."

Fallen: “If she weighs the same as a duck, she’s made of wood, and therefore a witch!”

twow: Your logic is amazing.

Blueblood said, solemnly. Fancy Pants and Blueblood exchanged evil smiles.

Fallen: For the first time in his life, Blueblood WAS pondering what Fancypants was pondering.

Derpy: That’ll never happen again.

Once Fleur had refreshed herself, Blueblood walked his guests to the door. After seeing them out, he turned to one of his guards and demanded that the gypsy be brought in on charges of witchcraft.

twow: Because god forbid there be a trial.

In short order, the pink pony was dragged down to the dungeon. When Blueblood arrived to interrogate the prisoner, the guards had followed his instructions and placed her in the stocks. Her head and fore-hooves were immobilized as she stood there crying.

Pinkie: That doesn’t sound like me!

twow: You’d have the entire place set up like a giant ass party.

After a brief bit of futile struggling, the mare realized that the only way out of her bonds was to convince the prince to release her.

"Please let me go!" the gypsy wailed, "I'm not a witch! I'm not a witch!"

Pinkie: “THEY dressed me like this! And this isn’t my nose, it’s a false one!”

The prince slowly approached her, an air of menace in his movements.

Derpy: How menacing.

twow: WOW Derpy.

"Then how do you explain your powers of divination?" the prince asked, "You have knowledge of things nopony was meant to have." The mare dared not look the prince in the eye. She seemed to not know how to answer the question herself.

Fallen: You just asked Pinkie Pie to explain Pinkie Pie.

twow: Is that even possible?

"I can't explain how it does what it does," the gypsy said, "It just does." Blueblood was not to be swayed by the witch's double speak. The mare, meanwhile, hoped to appeal to his compassionate side.

Pinkie: He HAS one?

(Everyone pauses, then starts laughing)

"Please release me, your majesty," she said, "for I am with foal and will deliver soon." Blueblood glanced down between her legs. The mare's belly had distended to accommodate the unborn foal growing inside her.

Pinkie: ...no.

twow: (twitch)

Derpy: Oh no. I know what twow’s thinking about.

The fact that she was pregnant while trapped in the stocks amused Blueblood, because it meant that the mare had a pudge and she couldn't budge.

Pinkie: NO. NO!

twow: (twitches harder)

Derpy: Uh, Fallen? I’m worried about them.

Fallen: Fuck him, I’m worried about HER.

Derpy: I SAID them. Geez man.

"A witch's foal," Blueblood said, as he circled the mare like a shark, "No doubt the spawn of Discord grows within your wretched womb. I take it you have known your dark master in the flesh then?"

Pinkie: How does that even WORK!?

Discord: Draconequi work in mysterious ways...

Fallen: JESUS!

Discord: Close, but no.

twow: WHAT THE FUCK?!

"Lies!" the mare sobbed. Calling the prince a liar was a crime punishable by death.

Pinkie: Even if I’m PREGNANT!?

twow; He has NO MORALS Pinkie.

Had the mare not been so distraught, she would've chosen her words more carefully. However, Blueblood was not about to kill her for speaking ill of him. The prince wanted to make sure she lived to endure the punishments reserved for witches, as they were much more entertaining to watch.

Derpy: That, and the fact that she’s going to die anyway.

Pinkie: THEY CAN’T DO THIS!

"I was raped!" she cried, "In truth it was a licentious Royal Guard who did the evil deed. He had been demanding protection money from me or else he said I would be set ablaze with all my possessions. When I ran out of funds to pay him, he said my virginity would be his payment!

Pinkie: This is worse than “Rarity’s Generous Plan!”

Fallen: I’m Fallen Prime, and welcome to Old News.

twow: Things you’ve already heard, all the time.

Then without another word, he raped me in my vardo!" Blueblood had never heard a marehood called that before. What the prince didn't realize was that 'vardo' was the proper name for a gypsy's wagon.

twow: That’s...supposed to be funny?

Derpy: It’s not.

"He raped me for hours and unleashed his seed inside me," the gypsy sobbed, hanging her head in shame, "now I carry his foal... He never even told me his name..." Blueblood listened to her story with rapt attention and a growing erection.

Pinkamena Diane Pie: STOP!!!

twow:         .....................................

Derpy: twow!

Fallen: Pinkie looks awful. We have to stop.

Fallen: (hugging a sobbing Pinkamena) Slow and painful, Coldblood.

Derpy: Pinkie! twow! Guys!

Blueblood: See, THIS is what I wanted! Not the pink one though.

twow: .....

Derpy: Words twow. We have to help Pinkie!

Pinkamena: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?

Fallen: Because Blueblood doesn’t deserve to be alive.

Derpy: Usually I don’t think like that, but I have to agree.

Pinkamena: I... I never realized it could get this bad... twow, I’m so, so, SO so sorry...

twow: ...stop the story.

Derpy: What?

twow: I quit. I’m done. I can’t do this.

Fallen: Oh, goddammit, twow! You were supposed to say that for “Fluttershy’s Week-long Foot-long,” not this!

twow: Look at Pinkie Fallen. Do you see it? I would have been fine if it was just me. But them...

Pinkamena: (sobbing in Fallen’s arms) Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!

Fallen: “The Story of FillyMena” and “Pinkie Pie the filly molester” were just as rough on her. I know she’ll make it. I’ll make Blueblood pay dearly for this, but she’ll make it.

twow: ....

Blueblood: You know, if twow is serious, I’ll let you all out this instant.

Pinkamena: He’s SO serious! JUST LET ME OUT!

Fallen: ...okay, maybe she’s a bit worse than I expected.

Derpy: WHY YOU...

Fallen: Alright, Blueblood, I’m gonna level with you. twow and I tend to be at each other’s throats more often than not, and I tend to get an immense feeling of joy when he suffers, but he’s one of my best friends in this world. Riffing is what he loves, and he’s got his entire reputation riding on this. As much as I hate to do this to my ACTUAL best friend in this world, I’m not letting you stop this riff.

Blueblood: This rides on twow continuing it, not you saying that it’ll keep going.

Fallen: Well, the three of us here are gonna make sure he DOES continue. I can’t have him quit riffing now, not when I still have a story I’M trying to break him with.

Pinkamena: THAT’S the only reason you care!?

Fallen: On his end, yes.

Derpy: You don’t make sense at ALL Fallen.

Fallen: Thanks. I’ve got that down to an art.

twow: ...Pinkie, can you continue? We’re done if you can’t. And don’t say yes for me.

Pinkamena: ...

Fallen: Pinkie, please. It kills me to see you like this.

Pinkamena: ...I’ll do it.

Fallen: What was tha-

Pinkamena: I SAID I’LL DO IT.

Derpy: Are you sure Pinkie? You don’t have to, ya know.

Pinkamena: You guys have come this far. I’m not having this little journey stop because of me. Besides... Blueblood will have to join me in Sugarcube Corner for the rest of the chapters. I can ruin his life from there once I get through this.

Fallen: I love this mare. How can you not love this mare?

Derpy: It’s simple. You must always love Pinkie Pie.

twow: Alright. I take it Pinkie isn’t cheering up...

Pinkamena: I WILL MAKE BLUEBLOOD PAY FOR THIS.

Fallen: And it is glorious.

twow: Oh hell yes. Let’s take this shit apart.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

In spite of being raped, the gypsy had hesitated to leave the city. There were so many ponies in Canterlot that her business had never been better.

Pinkamena: You know, if you forget that I’D JUST BEEN RAPED!

twow: Which is impossible, by the way.

There was always some pony who wanted their hoof read or to see their fate with the Tarot cards. As the gypsy stood pitiably in the stocks, the mare felt she would have done better to leave Canterlot and try somewhere else. Even the warlike griffins seemed more inviting towards her at this point.

Derpy: I always enjoy hugging things with claws.

"Maybe she's not clairvoyant after all," Blueblood thought, "If she could see the future, surely a knowledge of her impending rape would not have eluded her."

twow: Dude. It’s not THAT deep.

Ignoring these logical impressions, Blueblood pushed for a confession witchcraft. When she finished her tragic tale, the prince presented his rebuttal.

Fallen: If it’s his penis, he’s losing it.

twow: Can I pull out the electric rusty sawblade?

Fallen: You have an ELECTRIC rusty sawblade!?

twow: Electric, fiery, think I made one out of water...

"Raped?" Blueblood said, "I think not. No, you used your gypsy magic to seduce one of my guards to claim his pious chastity. Does your depravity know no bounds?" The mare tried to speak, but she was too shocked to form the words.

Pinkamena: Looks like I already GOT the electric sawblade.

twow: Nice one! (smacked by Derpy)

Since the pink pony was immobilized, Blueblood wished to partake in his own brand of interrogation. The prince spat on his firm cock head and spread the mare's pink ass cheeks. She let out a scared yelp.

twow: “Oh god, not a spanking!” (smacked by Pinkamena)

"My prince!" she cried, "I pray you; do not this wickedness! Such things are unnatural!" Blueblood let out a hollow laugh and pressed his cock against her little hole. The stallion smiled that a witch would attempt to scold him on unnatural wickedness.

Derpy: And yet she’s RIGHT.

Pinkamena: ...I think Fallen was right too.

Fallen: ...electric sawblade. NOW.

twow: (looks behind him) Good, that cabinet’s locked.

"The body of this witch, yea even her womb, is infested with all manner of demons!" Blueblood shouted to the heavens, "With my blessed rod I shall attempt to purge her body of unclean spirits!"

Fallen: He’s trying to blow them out her- (punched by Pinkamena)

twow: The Last Exorcism this ain’t.

The gypsy was horror-struck by the prospect and pissed herself in fear. Blueblood took advantage of the shower and lowered his stallionhood to coat it in urine.

Derpy: Why are you gonna cover it in lemonade? It’s gonna be sticky later!

twow: (facepalm)

Pinkamena: (smacks Derpy)

Fallen: Somepony’s pissed.

Pinkamena: OF COURSE I AM!

"You must really desire to be buggered if you provide me with such fine lube!" Blueblood said, "Now make way for your prince!" Blueblood's bulbous head slipped past her tight sphincter. Even though his cock had been made slick, her ass itself was bone dry.

twow: So where are the Dry Bones? (punted by Pinkamena)

Derpy: Should I be surprised she understood that?

Fallen: I’m surprised YOU understand that.

 Blueblood leaned on her back and humped her gypsy ass, driving himself a little deeper with each thrust. The mare was a blubbering mess as the pain in her bleeding ass prevented her from thinking straight. Her pregnant belly shook forcefully as the prince mercilessly rammed her rectum.

Pinkamena: How can he do this to a PREGNANT MARE!?

Fallen: We’re WATCHING how. It’s like a sadistic tutorial.

twow: “And tonight on Rape Time with Blueblood!”

Derpy: That was a little dark for you. Are you sure you’re okay?

twow: Of course.

Her large hoop earrings bounced wildly against the stocks as she grit her teeth in pain. Her rectal blood leaked onto the floor as the prince continued to sodomize the anal virgin.

"Take it out, please!" she sobbed, "I cannot bear the pain! I beg you to release me; I've done nothing wrong!"

Derpy: “I’m sorry for the whole Madame Pinkie thing! It was just a hobby!”

Pinkamena: That’s SUCH a stupid thing for somepony to RAPE ME OVER!

Fallen: SO pissed.

twow: Saying duh would be a waste of air.

 Blueblood slowed his thrusting until he came to a stop. The prince put his weight on her back with his member still buried deep inside her. Ceasing his thrusts was not done out of mercy or compassion; her tight bottom threatened to make him climax before he was ready, and Blueblood didn't want to cum too soon.

Pinkamena: Oh, just get it over with.

twow: Damn it Blueblood! CUM on! (brained by Pinkamena)

The prince leaned in close to smell her mane. It smelled sugary sweet, like fresh confections. Inhaling deeply, the prince then moved down from her hair and began to lick the back of her neck.

Pinkamena: (shivering)

Fallen: I remember when you were making jokes. What happened to that?

twow: I’m going to say it stopped around the point where the rape started.

The gypsy's unwilling ass continued to massage and caress his shaft, preventing him from going completely soft. Since he was resting for a moment, the prince wished to converse with the mare.

Fallen: Worst. Pillow talk. EVER.

"Tell me my future, witch," Blueblood said, mocking her, "What do the sands of time hold for your benevolent prince?" The gypsy remained silent. She would not confess to the false accusation of witchcraft. Blueblood grew irate from her obstinance.

"Speak, you whorish dam!"

Fallen: “You block the flow of water like a SLUT!” (punched in the balls by Pinkamena) WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN!?

Pinkamena: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

the prince snapped, "When your sovereign gives a command, it is to be obeyed." The gypsy gave a defeated sigh.

"I'm not a witch, my prince," she said sadly, "I mean no ill will to anypony; I only want to bring joy."

twow: “And through this rape, you certainly are!” (stabbed by Pinkamena)

Pinkamena: Huh. Never tried THAT before. That felt... kinda good.

Fallen: Aaaaaaaaaaand takin’ the knife away.

"Your glorious asshole has certainly brought me joy. It's much tighter than any vardo," Blueblood said.

twow: ......................

Derpy: Maybe you should stop talking now.

He enjoyed this new filthy word being added to his lexicon. Considering how spacious her vardo was, the gypsy hardly found the prince's statement to be a compliment.

Derpy: Knowing what that word really means, this just got really amusing.

Fallen: Bad euphemisms usually are.

 "If your prediction impresses me," Blueblood said, temptingly, "I will release you and allow you to return home to raise your bastard foal.

twow: Well, at least this won’t end badly?

" The searing pain in her ass distracted her ability to notice any signs predicting future events; but, desperate to be released, the gypsy decided to make something up for Blueblood.

Pinkamena: “I predict that thing you’re sticking in my butt BREAKING OFF.”

Derpy: “Much pain and suffering shall occur!”

twow: “It will be the greatest thing to happen besides sliced bread!”

"Oh, my prince," she said, trying to sound as mystical as possible, "I see many joyful days during your long life." The gypsy tried to put on a happy face; but inwardly, she was wracked with grief and pain. She prayed that her lie might pacify the prince enough to willingly release her and her foal.

Pinkamena: In case you forgot I’m PREGNANT.

twow: We didn’t.

Derpy: The story didn’t give us a chance to.

"What about those who oppose me?" Blueblood asked, enjoying the little game, "Do I risk an assassination attempt in my future?" The gypsy thought pleasantly for a moment about the different manners in which the prince could be murdered. She then continued her charade.

twow: “There shall be two strange beings in your future...”

Derpy: “One shall carry weapons that shoot lead, and the other’s weapons will shoot everything else.”

"Your enemies shall be crushed beneath your hooves!" she said, "All who fight against you shall meet a fate worse than death!"

Fallen: “They shall be forced to read your tale until the end of their days!”

"Witchcraft is not needed to see that. I know all my enemies shall fall," Blueblood said, "but what about the mares? How many mares will I rape and subjugate to my will?" Being a rape victim herself, the gypsy was disgusted by the thought;

Pinkamena: I WONDER WHY.

Derpy: She ran out of muffins. (brained by the wall)

but desiring to be freed herself, she indulged the prince in his fantasy.

twow: REALLY wanting to break out the water sniper.

"Your massive stallionhood shall become legendary for the sheer number of deflowered virgins it leaves in its wake!" she said, trying not to cry, "Your virility shames other stallions and makes grown mares weep with joy!" The gypsy felt as though she were going to be ill.

Pinkamena: (vomits)

Fallen: That looks about right.

"Tell me witch, what think you of my sexual prowess?" Blueblood asked, "Who is the better lover? The guard who deflowered your vardo, or the prince who speared your gypsy shit hole?"

Derpy: Her wagon had a flower in it?

twow: Derpy...

 Asking the mare to chose between rapists was almost more than she could bear. At that moment, she wanted the world to come crashing down around her. Resisting the urge to sink into despair, the mare knew that in order to live, she had to stroke the prince's ego, among other things.

twow: Taking that back. Electric sawblade. Needs to happen. In fact, you wanna take that back with you Pinkie?

Pinkamena: Thinkin’ about it...

"No contest! It is you, my prince," the mare said, lying through her teeth, "Your god-like stallionhood is a key that unlocked a room of forbidden pleasures within my body." Blueblood gave a lustful groan as he sniffed her sweet-scented hair again. He thanked her for the vision.

twow: Who wants the brain bleach? I made a batch last night.

Derpy: PLEASE.

"Now I shall purify you with my holy water," Blueblood said, eagerly. Even though the prince's cock was semi-erect, it was still flaccid enough to perform its main bodily function. A shudder coursed through Blueblood's body as he released his bladder inside her ass and filled her colon with warm piss.

Pinkamena: Blueblood, when I get out of here, I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF.

Fallen: Atta GIRL!

twow: (wipes a tear) You make me so proud.

Blueblood: (shudders)

Fallen: Think you can handle her for seven more chapters, future Prince Dickless?

"My princely water makes her anal passage feel as slick as any vardo!" the stallion thought pleasantly, as he enjoyed the warm, wet sensation.

twow and Derpy: (bust up laughing)

Pinkamena: HOW IS THIS FUNNY!?

twow: He said that it was slick as a wagon!

 Blueblood pulled everything except out, except for his tip. The prince then slammed forward with terrific force. As her ass was impaled, Blueblood's cock displaced most of the piss inside her. Urine sprayed out of her tight ring as Blueblood's balls slapped against her marehood.

twow: Is that even...

Fallen: It is now.

The gypsy regretted praising the sodomy earlier, as the increased speeds of his thrusts hurt like no pain she'd ever endured before. The added humiliation of being used as a toilet made her want to vomit.

Pinkamena: Took you long enough.

twow: To be fair, Twilight and Rarity didn’t barf.

Pinkamena: Do I look like Twilight or Rarity?

twow: Well, you could cut your mane, dye it purple, dye your coat purple...(shot by Pinkamena)

Fallen: If you get in the habit of that, Pinkie, I’m never letting you in my armory again.

"I've done what you asked," she sobbed, "I told you your future! Please let me go!" The mare could feel her foal being jostled around inside her belly and prayed this waking nightmare would not harm her child.

Derpy: As long as there’s no tentacles, I’m good.

"I shall release you," the prince said, pumping himself faster, "once you confess to being a witch."

twow: You gotta throw her in the lake first.

"If I confess, will you Pinkie promise to return me safely to my home?" the gypsy asked. Blueblood was above making deals with Roma scum like her, but he did need to hear her confess. Begrudgingly, he agreed to her terms, having every intention of keeping his word.

twow: THERE’S GONNA BE A LOOPHOLE SOMEWHERE!

Fallen: It’s an obvious one. Once she GETS safely to her home, she’s fair game.

Derpy: Oh no. Her “home” is the wagon...

Feeling certain this would end her misery, the mare confessed.

"I'm a witch!" the gypsy screamed, "I'm an evil enchantress! I confess!" Those were the words Blueblood had been longing to hear. Taking a fore-hoof, Blueblood reached underneath and punched the mare in the kidneys.

twow: Low blow man...

 The sudden pain caused the mare's buttocks and rectal passage to tighten, bringing the prince on the verge of climax.

Pinkamena: Of COURSE he gets off to beating up innocent pregnant mares.

twow: He also gets off to raping fillies and tearing apart assholes.

"Please don't hurt my foal!" she cried, wincing from the pain. Without a word, Blueblood brought a fore-hoof down on the back of the mare's head, rendering her unconscious.

Derpy: “Boom, Headshot!”

"I'm an honorable stallion," the prince said to himself, as he came in her ass, "Now that you've given me release, I'll  return you safely to your broken down hovel."

Fallen: You mean the vardo.

twow: (snickers)

Blueblood was good to his word. Two guards carried the pregnant mare back to her wagon and set her inside. The gypsy's unconscious frame slept soundly through the night.

Pinkamena: We’re stopping.

Fallen: I second that motion.

twow: Third. And so much.

Fallen: I’m pretty sure this is the closest thing to mercy Blueblood has ever shown. He just... escorts her home.

Derpy: I think we all know that isn’t going to last.

Fallen: Of course it’s not. This story didn’t get its reputation because it LIKES its audience.

twow: I really want to stab everything right now.

Pinkamena: Get in line. I have dibs on Blueblood.

Fallen: Okay, seriously, what’s gotten into you? The Pinkie I know would never be driven to this sort of thing, not even in this state.

twow: Not that I enjoy saying this, but I can see where she’s coming from.

Derpy: It’s the rape angle, isn’t it?

twow: It’s a rough subject for anyone Derpy. I should know that. And the last thing anyone wants to go through is reading about it.

Fallen: That’s not my problem. She HAS read about it. She snapped during “Rarity’s Generous Plan” too, but she never threatened to STAB anyone! And she ESPECIALLY never threatened to rip a guy’s dick off!

twow: Well, Pinkie? It’d probably be easier if you explained.

(Pinkamena pauses for a moment, then takes a deep breath.)

Pinkie: There’s only so much a mare can take, you know? It seems like every time a story involves me in any major way, it does its best to wreck me. “Pinkie Pie the filly molester” was just the beginning. “Rarity’s Generous Plan,” “The Story of FillyMena,” “Pin the Tail on the Griffin...” every time I came into the armory or the lab or anywhere else, it just kept piling up and piling up and piling up and up and up and I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Derpy: (silently pulls Pinkie into a hug)

Pinkamena: (trying to break out of the hug) I swear to Celestia I’m going to KILL YOU as soon as I get out of here, Blueblood!

Derpy: Pinkie, that wouldn’t help you though. He’s not the problem, the story is. And deep down, it still is gonna come back to you.

Pinkamena: That’s future Pinkie’s problem! Now let me out so I can RIP HIM TO SHREDS!

twow: Well, I care about present Pinkie, and I’m not going to let present Pinkie screw over future Pinkie. Now, please...

Pinkamena: I’m WAY past the point of caring! LET ME-

Fallen: Pinkie, for Christ’s sake, SHUT UP!

(Pinkamena immediately stops struggling and falls silent.)

Blueblood: (from TV) ...might I say something?

Derpy: If it’s anything LESS than your apology, I’m going to insert twow’s electric sawblade and Fallen’s shotgun up your rectum at the same time.

Fallen: Know what, assmunch? I’m with Derpy. If you come at me with all your smug shit, I’m gonna sit back and let Pinkie have her way with you.

twow: Just give me a second to unlock my cabinet... (walks off, then returns with a sawblade sparkling with electricity)...Proceed.

Blueblood: I know that you have no reason to believe me, but I am sorry Pinkie. This was not meant to cause YOU pain, it was for twow.

twow: Because THAT makes it better. And don’t you even start Fallen.

Fallen: Right now I don’t think it matters who you were TRYING to break. Pinkie didn’t do anything to- ...well, she didn’t do anything to deserve something THIS bad.

Pinkamena: And what’s THAT supposed to mean!?

Fallen: I still owe you for “Derpy’s Finest Hour,” that’s what.

Blueblood: You’re right. And because of this, if she promises not to hurt me, I’ll let both of the mares out right now.

twow: Wow. That’s mercy we’ll never see again.

Pinkamena: (giggling unnervingly)

Derpy: I think that idea just got shot out the window.

Pinkamena: Oh, not necessarily. I won’t HURT him... but I can find so many worse things to do to him.

twow: I guess that counts. So, you two leaving then?

Blueblood: Hmm... I don’t like her answer, so no.

Fallen: That was kind of dickish.

Blueblood: Call it self-preservation.

Fallen: I... can’t argue with that.

twow: (grinning) Now I can let her leave with the sawblade.

Derpy: Uhh...I’m starting to freak out a bit.

Fallen: Are they just intrinsically less stable than us?

Derpy: I think this story has been hurting twow’s mind since this all started and Pinkie’s already not sane right now.

Fallen: Just me, then. Typical.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

When the mare awoke the next morning, her head was quite sore. Her ass was also in considerable pain as she moved a hoof over where the prince had so mercilessly violated her the night before.

Derpy: Her kidneys got better real fast!

She looked around and realized that she was home in her bed. The gypsy couldn't believe that she had survived the nightmare. Sitting up slowly in bed, she rubbed her pregnant belly tenderly. Even though he was conceived in a violent rape, the mother could not bear any hate towards her foal.

twow: Course not. Wasn’t his fault at all.

Fallen: There’s a thought. A rape baby that’s the fetus’s fault.

 The child would not pay for the sins of the father. She had resolved to raise her foal with all the love she had to give.

twow: Hopefully she doesn’t come across any changelings.

Throwing caution to the wind, she knew she couldn't stay in this city another day. She didn't know where she would go or how she would provide for her foal; all she knew that she had narrowly avoided death and would not chance it again,

Pinkamena: ...I don’t think that means anything good.

twow: It means something GREAT! (smacked by everything)

Jumping off of her bed, she landed with a splash on the floor of her wagon. There were a couple inches of water around her ankles. Curious to what was going on, she tried to open a window. It wouldn't open. All of the shutters and doors of her vardo had been bordered up last night as she slept soundly.

Pinkamena: He’s... he’s going to-

Fallen: To drown you. And your foal. In your own home.

twow: He’s twisting the knife so hard it’s like a fucking drill.

The mare pressed an ear up against a crack in the window to hear what was going on. She heard the rushing of waters outside and... voices?

Fallen: In front of a live studio audience.

twow: FUCK MY LIFE.

It was dawn.

Derpy: Important information right there.

Blueblood stood on a stage overlooking a small crowd to witness the public execution of a confessed witch. Her vardo had been moved during the night next to a wooden crane that was used to unload cargo from ships. The vardo was attached to the crane and was suspended on the surface of the Canterlot River.

twow: Normally used for bathing.

"Inside this sinister-looking vessel I have trapped a witch," Blueblood said, "She confessed to having premonitions and visions sent by her dark master." The pregnant mare sobbed as she pounded on the window.

"Please!" she cried, "You said you'd allow me to go home and raise my foal! You Pinkie promised!"

Fallen: Ah, but he didn’t break it.

Pinkamena: I need to get rid of loopholes in my Pinkie promises. They just might kill me.

Blueblood walked to the edge of the platform overlooking the river. He talked loud enough so the mare could hear him, but quiet enough that his voice was drowned out by the rush of the river through the wagon wheels.

twow: So then, she didn’t hear him?

"I kept my promise," Blueblood said, "I let you return to your home in peace. I'll even allow you to raise the little bastard. The first thing you'll need to teach your foal is how to breathe underwater."

twow: No! This fucker broke the promise! SHE CAN’T RAISE THE FOAL IF IT’S DEAD!!!!

Derpy: twow, are you...

(twow shoots the TV with an ice pistol)

Fallen: He’s fine.

 The mare felt as though she were dead, in spite of her rapid heartbeat. She leaned her cheek against the shutters and slipped into despair.

"For your safety we have locked the witch in her mobile coven," Blueblood said, "If you were to look deep in her eyes, she would put you in trances."

Derpy: ................

Fallen: I love the smell of fandom pandering in the morning. It smells like contrivance.

twow: I’m going to murder him. After I fast forward in time and kill his children.

"Don't do this!" she screamed in desperation, pounding on the window, "I'm not a witch! Please, I beg you! Spare the life of my unborn foal!" The crowd murmured amongst themselves. The fact that the accused was pregnant was new information. Some in the audience gave sympathetic looks. Blueblood attempted to quell any misgivings about the punishment by clever stratagem.

Derpy: Alrighty, maybe they’ll let her go now...

"A cunning gypsy trick," Blueblood said, "Be not deceived by the witch's silver tongue. She carries within her womb an unholy demon. We shall cleanse our city of these two evils with one swift act of justice!"

Pinkamena: I. Am going. To MURDER YOU!!!

Derpy: .....................................................

twow: “Attention captain, we have two mares down! I repeat, two mares down!”

Blueblood positioned himself to release the lever and send the wagon into the icy waters below.

"Wait!" the gypsy mare screamed. From within her vardo, she shook as though she were having a fit. While the horror of this situation would be enough to unnerve anypony, that's not what was happening here. She was receiving a genuine premonition.

"I'm getting a vision!" the gypsy said, "A doozy of a vision about Prince Blueblood!"

Fallen: Oh, good job. Now you’re giving him justification.

All the audience became quiet to hear her prediction. Even Blueblood was silenced out of curiosity.

twow: Oh this is gonna be good.

"I see... I see... " the mare said, "A party! The whole kingdom gathers around to celebrate your birthday, my prince! The day of your birth is made a public holiday and your subjects present you with a huge gift!"

Fallen: A dildo wrapped in sandpaper and barbed wire?

twow: “If the box is ticking, it’s OK!”

The prince was not impressed. He considered last night's prediction to be much more creative.

"We shall see if the fish find your evil pranks amusing," Blueblood said as he released the mechanism, Begone foul creature! You have no right to breathe the free air."

Fallen: Breathing isn’t a right. It’s a biological necessity.

Pinkamena: .

Fallen: ...uh, Pinkie?

twow: Don’t die on us.

The gypsy's possessions were jostled around and smashed onto the floor as the vardo was tossed by the waves. The metal axles underneath were enough to submerge the wagon. The current attempted to pull the wagon down stream, but the rope kept it from drifting far from the crowd, or the prince.

twow: “Oh look! Dinner and a show!” (curb-stomped by both mares)

Inside her vardo, the mare was hyperventilating. She looked frantically around, desperate for an exit, bit there were none to be found. Water poured in from every leak and crack. The mare hopped up on her bed and sobbed.

Pinkamena: ..

Derpy: Pinkie....

As the vardo sank lower into the river, it became pitch black inside the wagon. The mare shivered as the icy water chilled her home. If she had been able to see anything at all, she would have seen her breath.

twow: Holy shit! Was it winter?!

She sat in the dark on her floating bed as the icy waters rose around her. In an effort to create a final pleasant moment, the mare stroked her belly and tried not to cry as she sang her child a song.

"When I was a little filly and the sun was going down, the darkness and the shadows they would always make me frown..."

Pinkamena: ...

twow: Can’t even call the twisting of the knife a drill anymore.

Blueblood stared at the taut rope. He assumed that the wagon must be nearly filled by this point. The witch did not have long for this world. He mused as he thought about the seapony tales told by sailors in the royal navy. Blueblood wondered if such creatures did exist, or if they were mere fairy tales.

Fallen: We’ll see what season four brings us, I guess.

twow: My excitement cannot be contained.

As much as he wanted to see his will carried out on the mare, part of him would have enjoyed seeing her saved by seaponies, if only to confirm their existence.

Fallen: Sure. It’s not like you want this mare dead or anything. SEAPONIES!

The waters were rising fast now and the gypsy was treading water. Her head was touching the top of her wagon as she rushed through the end of her song to try and finish it before she ran out of air.

twow: The knife is now a jackhammer.

Derpy: Somehow, I don’t think that fits enough.

Fallen: You were onto something with the drill. It just needs to be... about a tenth of the size of the universe.

"...and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... (gasp)," The mare took a deep breath of the last remaining air before her body was completely surrounded by water.

twow: “It just makes ya wanna SHOUT! Lift your hooves up an-” (shot by Fallen)

Fallen: They don’t let ME sing, so you don’t get away with it either.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," she thought to her foal as she held her breath, "I even made a Pinkie promise." The icy water stung her entire body until she could no longer feel any sensation in her extremities. She knew she was going to die in the dark here.

Pinkamena: .....

Fallen: Pinkie Pie. Come on.

twow: “I was born in the dark.”

The mare's air was running out and she became increasingly scared. She futilely banged on the ceiling, but this only depleted her oxygen faster. No longer able to fight her body's natural impulse to breathe, the mare involuntarily opened her mouth and inhaled, sucking in water.

Fallen: I imagined Pinkie as Kirby, and suddenly all seemed more right.

twow: She just got the Water power. Badass.

The icy liquid flowed down her windpipe, causing her to cough and swallow even more water. As the river rushed down her throat, the mare's vocal chords constricted, preventing water from entering her lungs. Without this diverging path open, all water she swallowed went into her stomach.

twow: As opposed to going to her spleen.

Fallen: Hey, at least she’s not dying thirsty.

twow: And you call ME tasteless.

Unable to breathe, she began to panic. All her rational thoughts were gone as she tried desperately to save herself and the life of her foal. The gypsy clawed maddeningly with her hooves against the ceiling of her vardo, but it was no use. Her fate was sealed.

Pinkamena: ...........

Fallen: Pinkamena Diane Motherfucking Pie, I swear to piss if you don’t snap out of this RIGHT NOW...

Derpy: PLEASE Pinkie!

twow: Come on Pinks. Just a little more.

She felt herself growing weak as her life started to leave her. The mare's last thoughts were about the foal she would never get to see. Just before her oxygen levels became too low to sustain brain cells, she made her last thought.

Fallen: “I... could’ve had... a V8...”

twow: “So...that’s the power...of Sunny D.”

"It's just as well," she thought, "The world is too evil for souls as happy as ours." The gypsy's body slowly drifted to the floor of her wagon, never to rise again.

Pinkamena: ................... (whimpers, hugs Fallen)

Fallen: You see this, Blueblood? This is your fucking death warrant.

twow: (brandishes electric sawblade)

Prince Blueblood cut the rope, allowing the witch and her child to rot in their watery graves. When he returned to his chambers, he pulled a lock of a curly pink mane out of his pocket. The prince took a sniff and inhaled the gypsy's sweet scent.

twow: “Bubblegum. Beautiful.”

Derpy: “I’ve always loved the pink cotton candy.”

 Blueblood felt himself growing erect as he placed his latest trophy beside the purple horn and the dress. Blueblood sat down at his desk and eagerly began to write his latest journal entry.

twow: We’re DONE.

twow: Well, that was fucking awful.

Pinkamena: (crying against Fallen)

Fallen: I imagine she shares that sentiment.

Derpy: twow, he’s made you already read two chapters of this?!

twow: You were there for the first one.

Derpy: I know, but...man. Are you still sane Pinkie?

Fallen: I’m not sure she’s fit to talk right now. And with the way this shit ended, can you blame her?

twow: (upset) Not really. I can only weep with her.

Blueblood: (from TV) Even though the pink one was hurt, I’d say that this chapter was quite the success! Next time, twow won’t have you to help him and then he’ll...

Fallen: I know your aunts.

Blueblood: ...what?

Fallen: Yeah. Princesses Celestia and Luna visited my armory not long ago, entirely on a whim. I even got a front-row seat to one of their little bonding sessions while they were trapped with me and forced to read about an entirely different kind of bonding session. In fact, I’ll be meeting with them again with another pal of mine to riff my favorite pony story ever. Suffice to say, we’re close acquaintances.

Blueblood: And what relevance does this have to-

Fallen: And I’m willing to bet they have no idea you’re doing this to twow right now. They’ve been on the receiving end of this shit before - hell, I’ve GOTTEN one from Luna - so they know EXACTLY how much of an impact these stories can have on their beloved subjects. You haven’t told them, have you?

Blueblood: ...no, but-

Fallen: GOOD! And I’m sure you’d like them to be kept in the dark about the unholy terror you’re inflicting upon twow, right?

Blueblood: I suppose that would be-

Fallen: Awesome. Tell you what. Since I’m the nicest motherfucker in the area right now, I’ll make an agreement with you. For starters, just because I like watching twow’s mind break like a Kit Kat bar, I’ll keep my trap shut about “120 Days of Blueblood” to the princesses to the best of my ability. And I’ll make sure these lovely ladies do the same.

Blueblood: Well, I hardly see the downside to such an agreement, so I-

Fallen: BUT.

Blueblood: -oh.

Fallen: What happened to Pinkie Pie here today is utterly inexcusable. The last time I saw a mare snap this badly, she was trying to kill HERSELF instead of killing everyone else. If I hear that even ONE other mare that comes through here suffers as Pinkie has suffered today, I WILL notify your precious aunties that it’s directly your fault and shut down your entire fucking operation. twow’s fair game in my book, but YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH MY FRIENDS.

Blueblood: (gulp)

twow: Using that logic, it’s like we’re not friends. It’s the little things that keep you going.

(The lab doors open and unlock)

twow: There’s your cue guys. Go get some rest, especially you Pinkie.

Pinkamena: ...did you mean all that, Fallen?

Fallen: Every word. I’m fed up with this son of a bitch, and if this happens again, there WILL be hell to pay.

Derpy: And that makes four of us.

twow: (smiling) Don’t worry guys. I’ll do my best to keep everypony sane.

Fallen: At the cost of your own sanity, hopefully. Come on, Pinkie. Let’s get you back home.

Pinkamena: I thought you didn’t want to be seen in Ponyv-

Fallen: I think this is more important right now.

twow: Actually, hold up a quick sec Fallen. Talk to you for a second.

Fallen: Sure. What about?

twow: Back up at the second break when I couldn’t form words for shit, you meant that?

Fallen: Yeah, I meant that too. I think you should keep going and not let this story be what tears you down completely. I get exclusive rights to that.

twow: I swear, we have the definition of a strange friendship down PAT.

Fallen: Yep. You’re the Gavin Free to my Michael Jones.

twow: I can live with that. And Pinkie...

Pinkamena: Yes, twow?

twow: (hands her his electric sawblade) Don’t let Fallen have that.

Fallen: Uh...

(Pinkamena charges out the door, cackling like a madmare.)

Fallen: Real fuckin’ smart.

twow: I needed some amusement. Go catch her.

Fallen: I’m keeping that sawblade if I do. GODDAMN YOU, PINKIE!(runs after Pinkamena)

Derpy: Stay strong twow. (hugs twow)

twow: You know it. Get out of here.

(Derpy lets go and heads out after Fallen, the doors shutting behind him)

Blueblood: Well...

twow: Uh-uh. I get a fucking BREAK. Just go do whatever you do.

Blueblood: ...this one time twow.

twow: Damn straight.

*BUZZ*

twow: I’ve got break sign!

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 4

How the hell am I still sane?!

Whatever. Either way, we’re at chapter four of 120 Days of Blueblood. Yay.

This chapter has the Apples in it, and as far as I know it’s all three of the younger ones.

Which means APPLE BLOOM is in this. Fuck me.

And I’m really surprised at how this is going. I’m still going strong and fighting past the pain. And I’m glad you all care enough to join.

Shall we begin? 120 Days of Blueblood, chapter 4.

(Also a very special thanks to KillerSteel for sitting in while I riff for support. Love ya man.)

twow: Alright. If the washer can hold up to three sofas, then the dryer is gonna need to hold the same...

Pinkie: (from TV) Whatcha doin T?

twow: You know how washers and dryers can only hold clothes?

Pinkie: Yeah.

twow: I’m programing so that they can hold different items and wash and dry them.

Pinkie: How’s it going?

twow: I got three sofas, a mattress and two pillows in this one. I need to expand.

Pinkie: That washer is a big as a microwave!

twow: That’s the genius.

Blueblood: (from TV) That’s...quite the invention.

twow: I know. Also, you got better quickly Pinkie.

Pinkie: Your sawblade helped!

Blueblood: Ahem. Anyway, it is time for your next chapter twow.

twow: Kinda guessed that from your face dirtying up my screen. Who is it this time?

(The lab doors open to let in Applejack, closing behind her.)

twow: Oh damn it. My other friend that has a family.

AJ: We all have families, you know.

twow: I do, but the less about them HE knows the better.

AJ: Ah don’t really...is that the prince?!

Pinkie: Sadly, it is.

AJ: What is he doin’ there?

twow: Ready for a riff AJ?

AJ: Ah guess. What is it?

twow: Chapter in a story where our lovely prince ends up fucking you, your sister, and somehow adding your brother in this equation.

AJ: ...What in Equestria did you do to deserve THIS?!

twow: Freedom of speech is not in effect.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

“Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love.”

― John le Carre

twow: That is so true.

AJ: Don’t think like that.

twow: I kinda suck with females AJ. At least the human ones.

Among Blueblood's inner circle, his friend Filthy Rich was the most duplicitous stallion in Equestrian business. He married an affluent widow in order to help secure his wealth. Filthy Rich's investment in the marriage was based solely on financial gain and certainly not for love.

twow: Because his name wasn’t a dead giveaway or anything.

AJ: Kinda makes ya wonder why he was named that from BIRTH.

 When it came to Filthy Rich's sexual preference, he was as straight as a coiled spring.

AJ: At least the story was honest?

twow: If he just wanted his wife for the money, then why the fuck did Diamond Tiara come into existence?

        Not long after their union, he murdered the senile dowager; making sure to place the blame on one of their zebra slaves. The innocent moor was then promptly executed, without trial.

twow: After being brutally raped. (smacked by AJ)

AJ: TWOW!

twow: What? That’s what happened to Twilight!

 With his wife dead, Filthy Rich became the sole possessor of her vast fortune, property and slaves. He was also saddled with caring for the dowager's spoiled daughter, whom he detested.

twow: Oh. Okay.

AJ: But Rich loves Diamond. He’s the one that spoiled her!

twow: NOTHING is right in this universe AJ.

        Blueblood had an abiding respect for Filthy Rich. While the prince was born into wealth and power, the businesscolt had personally gotten his hooves dirty in order to obtain all that he had.

twow: Not to mention some of his other parts.

It was another such business venture that brought Filthy Rich to Blueblood's chambers one rainy night.

        "Now, what was it you wanted to discuss with me, old friend?" Blueblood asked, as the two stallions sat in his study.

AJ: “Ah just wanted to know who you planned on raping tonight.”

twow: “I’m joining.”

        "As you know, the dowager left me a thriving cider business," Filthy Rich said, "Recently, said business has been languishing due to some new competition attracting my old customers."

        "And you want their business seized?" Blueblood asked.

        "No," Filthy Rich said, darkly, "I want to break them." Blueblood smiled knowingly.

AJ: Like the broad side of a barn.

twow: He’d miss it completely.

        "I'll invite the distillers to the castle to discuss business," Blueblood said, "You'd best observe from the shadows old friend, lest your presence unnerve them."

        "And when their guard is down, we'll strike!" Filthy Rich said, a sadistic bloodlust in his eyes.

AJ: For revenge!

twow: “For Frodo.”

        It was two days later when Blueblood arranged to meet with the cider-makers. The competing distillery was a family-owned business, comprised of a large, red, muscular stallion, and his two sisters. The youngest was a yellow filly, who was too little to be of much use as a distiller.

AJ: She’s a strong little filly!

twow: True, but the story said LITTLE, not WEAK.

In spite of her weakness, she followed her older siblings around, eager to learn the tricks of her family's trade.

AJ: Wouldn’t she be with the Crusaders?

twow: Seeing as how one is dead and the other is unaccounted for...

        Blueblood watched the orange mare as she unloaded barrels of her product and rolled them into the castle's cellar. He stared at her long blonde mane and felt the tip of his stallionhood poke out of its sheath.

AJ: ...........

twow: Damn, this guy’s hornier than a bull!

Beads of sweat clung to her well-toned flanks as she went about her work. Blueblood knew that the mare had tremendous leg strength and he was eager to test her muscle control. Determined to not become distracted by the tempting twat, Blueblood focused on the task at hoof.

twow: Alliteration ALREADY? Great.

AJ: You just used it yourself.

twow: DAMN IT.

        "Your business brews the finest cider in all of Equestria," Blueblood said, addressing the red stallion, "I'm interested in having your family be the castle's sole cider supplier. Might we be able to meet in private to discuss business?"

twow: As long as you don’t go to that bar that was in the first chapter.

AJ: What happened there?

twow: Blueblood enacted his plan to rape Rarity’s family.

        "You go ahead and talk fancy numbers, big brother," the orange mare said, as she continued to unload barrels, "I've got this."

twow: “And remember. Two plus two is fish.”

AJ: twow, what the hay are you saying?

twow: I think this story IS getting to me.

        Blueblood met with the stallion in his stately lounge. They quickly hashed out the details of their partnership over several mugs of strong cider. Blueblood could hold his liquor rather well, and was only slightly buzzed from the drinks. The distiller, on the other hand, had become slobbering drunk.

twow: Huh. I thought Big Mac would have been able to handle it well.

AJ: He CAN.

 Normally, the red stallion could handle his cider with ease. His current inebriated state could be attributed to Blueblood lacing the stallion's drinks with a potent herbal aphrodisiac, which also amplified the workhorse's drunkenness.

AJ: Unless that happens.

twow: I’m scared to imagine WHY he has that drug.

Blueblood then entertained his tipsy guest by telling him lewd jokes.

        "...And while the nun was being buggered, she said to the priest, 'Father, you're in the right church, but in the wrong pew!'" Blueblood said, finishing his latest joke. The prince pounded his hoof on the table as he and the stallion shared a hearty laugh. Blueblood's cheeks were slightly red from a combination of mirth and cider.

twow: While there was no visible change on the red one.

AJ: Besides him turnin’ the color of blood.

        The stallion, who was normally a very pious and reserved stallion, found himself growing more raucous and horny, due to the dirty jokes and the spiked cider. Blueblood noticed the swelling of the red pony's impressive member.

AJ: The drug does THAT also?!

        "I see you are in need of release, my friend," Blueblood said, smiling. The drunken stallion had lost all sense of shame or inhibition as he teetered where he sat and sloppily shook his head.

twow: “Eeeeehoeoeeeeeyup!”

        , "As a sign of our new partnership, why not slack your lusts on one of the castle's fine whores?" Blueblood offered, graciously, "I promise that you will not find tighter holes anywhere else in Canterlot."

twow: Servants, whores, sadistic princes, torture chambers...

AJ: That town has it all!

        Blueblood led the drunken stallion back into the cider cellar, which was illuminated by lamplight. Filthy Rich kept concealed in shadows as he watched the events unfold.

twow: He’s pulling a Batman.

        Two barrels were laid on their sides in the middle of the floor, with a step stool placed at the far end of each one. Wedges lifted the barrels up slightly, preventing them from rolling around. The stallion's sisters had been restrained, with their hooves tied to the cider containers.

AJ: Excuse me?!

twow: Hell, I’m surprised you didn’t ALREADY get raped. (smacked by AJ)

 They were completely immobile, with their rear ends sticking out slightly from the far end of the barrels. The cider casks were positioned in such a way that the sisters were facing each other.

        The yellow filly was crying, due to the pinching of the ropes, while the mare had exhausted her strength in a vain attempt to break her bonds.

twow: What, did they use CHAINS?! Have you SEEN how strong this pony is?

AJ: That’s a mighty fine complement twow.

        "Big Brother!" the orange mare said upon seeing her eldest sibling, "Save us, please!" The red stallion wobbled where he stood and let out a drunken hiccup.

        "He can't hear you," Blueblood said, smiling, "His ears pound with the sound of his own lustful desires." The mare stared horrified as she watched her brother slowly approach their youngest sister.

AJ: Ah...shit.

twow: AJ!

The stallion's unfocused eyes and slobbering, drunken stupor gave the impression that he was in some kind of trance. Without a word, the red workhorse lifted himself up onto the barrel, with his fore-hooves resting on either side of his little sister.

AJ: OH CELESTIA NO!!!

twow: It’s always the filly. Fuckin always.

 His well-hung endowment slid against her ass and was cushioned by her tiny cheeks. The yellow filly could only sob as the ropes dug into her young flesh.

twow: It’s like a soft little pillow. (bucked by AJ)

        "No, brother!" the mare cried, "She's your little sister! Don't do this!" The orange pony was soon distracted from her siblings' impending incestuous intercourse when she felt a tongue on her most private of areas.

twow: “Cut it out! I forgot to wipe!”

AJ: “It don’t taste like apples!”

        The mare screamed and begged for the unwanted pleasure to stop as Blueblood lapped at her sweet slit. Her nectar tasted like spiced apples to the prince and he knew he must have more of her.

twow: Or...it does?

AJ: It doesn’t.

twow: Are you speaking from fact...

AJ: IT DOESN’T.

 Standing atop the step stool, Blueblood rested his fore-hooves on either side of the mare. He rubbed the underside of his stallionhood against her slit as a taste of things to come.

        "As my distinguished guest and new cider provider, it's only proper for you to claim your prize first," Blueblood said, graciously extending his hoof to the stallion.

twow: “You may choose between these two pills. If you take the red pill...”

        "No brother!" the filly cried, "It's me, your sister!" Showing no acknowledgement or concern for the filly beneath him, the stallion gave another drunken hiccup as he leaned forward, pressing his cock head against his sister's ass. Her young body trembled and her voice shook with fear.

AJ: Don’t do it Mac.

twow: This is why I hate Apple. (punted by AJ)

        "No, please!" the filly begged, "It's dirty! Don't do this!"

        "Eeyup," the stallion replied, as he bucked his hips, driving his fleshy knob past her sphincter. The filly let out an ear-piercing scream, which echoed off the walls of the cellar.

AJ: (screams)

twow: Break time! Right now!

twow: Fuck, AJ. Are you even close to okay?

AJ: Do ya think I wanted to read about my big brother raping my little sister?

twow: Just about as much as I wanted to read the murder of three of my friends.

AJ: That’s the point though! Why do all of these stories have to do with Big Mac doin’ somethin’ like this?!

twow: Mostly shock, and some people like it.

AJ: You’re kidding.

twow: I am not. People like Applecest the same way they enjoy reading about Celestia and Luna fucking each other.

AJ: ....

twow: Yep. Go ask Fallen about that.

AJ: It’s just...Big Mac loves us, but...

twow: ...he doesn’t love you like that. I understand AJ. If it makes it easier, pretend this isn’t your brother.

AJ: But it is!

twow: Would your brother really get drunk and start raping Apple Bloom?

AJ: Well, of course not!

twow: THen it’s not your brother. And you should treat him like you would anypony that tried to hurt her.

AJ: With UTTER HATRED.

twow: Now you’re getting it!

AJ: Thank you twow. I’ll do my best to get through this.

*BUZZ*

twow and Applejack: We’ve got story sign!

        "Ow! That's my little hole!" the filly wailed as tears filled her eyes, "Take it out, big brother! You're hurting me!" Blood began to trickle out of her yellow asshole as the stallion's girth stretched and tore into the filly's sphincter.

AJ: (wincing) Does he just not hear her?

twow: I’m trying to figure how how she still HAS a sphincter.

The immobile blonde mare could only watch in horror as her younger sister was raped in front of her eyes by their older sibling.

twow: “I better be next!” (bucked by AJ)

        "Stop, please, brother!" the orange mare cried, "How can you do this to your own sist...oh!" The mare's sentence was cut off as Blueblood rammed his rod unceremoniously into her moist mound.

AJ: “But due to the length, she didn’t feel anything.”

twow: “Except for a slight tingling sensation.”

        The sensation was like nothing Blueblood had ever experienced before. The mare had spent a lifetime strengthening her leg muscles. Years of applebucking had left her flank a well-toned instrument, which Blueblood thoroughly appreciated.

twow: Now he could play her like a violin.

 Her vaginal muscles were stronger than any other pussy the prince had ever penetrated. As he pounded into her unwilling marehood, Blueblood felt her firm yet flexible folds bring him to new levels of pleasure. His hips rocked back and forth as he repeatedly plowed the distiller's fertile field.

twow: I swear, I’m going to create a fucking game for whenever alliteration shows up.

AJ: “But sadly, she forgot to lay down more manure.”

        The filly's blood poured from her reamed asshole and ran down the side of the barrel as her big brother continued to bugger her. The searing pain caused the filly to scream so loud that her throat was hurting.

twow: She didn’t need those vocal chords anyway.

AJ: Ah’m surprised that Blueblood didn’t pour hot water or something down her throat.

twow: (shudders)

AJ: You okay, sugarcube?

twow: Fine...

        The filly knew that sodomy was a sin. She didn't understand why this was happening to her and felt ashamed of her own body. It was as if her older brother's soul had been possessed by a demonic presence.

twow: As long as he doesn’t have to go to the Further, I’m good.

        The stallion pushed his incestuous instrument deeper into his sister's depths. When he managed to shove the first third of his cock into the filly's rectum, she let out an agonizing scream.

        "No more!" she cried, tears streaming down her face, "No more, brother! It... it's so big inside me!"

AJ: As opposed to it being small?

        "Too big for you to handle," the stallion said, "you dirty whore." With those degrading words, the stallion bucked his hips and buried the first half of his fat cock into the filly's ass. Her vision began to blur because of the pain and her entire body wanted to shut down. She couldn't understand why her brother was doing this to her and just wanted the pain to stop.

twow: How in the fuck does it all fit?

AJ: That thing you and Fallen call the reason.

twow: Applejack, you make me proud.

        Blueblood leaned over the mare and put his weight on her muscular back. The blonde pony cried as she continued to watch the incestuous rape unfold before her eyes. Blueblood thrust into her with increasing speeds.

twow: Sonic the Hedgehog was taking notes in the corner.

 He watched the stallion mercilessly slam his red hips forward as he delved deeper into the filly's ass. Blueblood turned the gross violation of two sisters into a game of follow-the-leader. He tried to mimic the drunken stallion's erratic thrusts.

AJ: Well, there’s a game mah fillies won’t be playing.

twow: That was a shotgun blast to my childhood.

        The red workhorse snorted as he tried desperately to bring himself to orgasm. If there was one thing the family prided themselves on, it was their stamina. This fortitude extended to all areas of their lives, including sex.

twow: And this is why Big Mac gets ALL the bitches. (smacked by AJ)

The filly's eyes opened wide as her brother gave one final thrust and buried three quarters of his stallionhood into her spasming rectum.

twow: If he gets the whole thing inside her, I’m calling bullshit.

AJ: Ah’m gonna have to second that.

 The filly's scream hit an octave usually reserved for calling dogs. Her wailing managed to shatter a glass cup that had been left sitting atop an upturned cider barrel. The last of her strength left her as she felt her rectum being filled with a warm, viscus liquid.

AJ: And she also burst everypony’s eardrums.

twow: That hurt to imagine.

        "My bottom hurts and it feels all sticky." the filly said, whimpering pitifully. Blueblood gave a laugh as he taunted the orange mare.

        "It seems your brother just finished planting his Apple seeds into the filly's rich, brown soil," the prince said.

twow: “And with enough food, water, and time, she’ll grow a beautiful foal.”

 The mare broke down and sobbed. Her mournful lamentations were enough to send Blueblood over the edge. The prince groaned with delight as he came inside her womb. When he removed his cock, his excess semen spilled out of her taut opening.

AJ: He really DOES feed on tears.

        "You were exquisite, my dear," the prince said, thinking himself a gentlecolt for complimenting her, "It would appear you and your sister both have a talent for pleasuring stallions."

twow: If by “pleasure” you mean “lie in barrels and get the hell raped out of you.”

AJ: Let’s not make a career out of THAT.

        The red workhorse removed his spent cock, which was covered in a gross mixture of his cum, along with the filly's blood and excrement. As his orgasm faded, the effects of the potent aphrodisiac left him and the stallion returned to his senses.

twow: TIMING!

AJ: Ah hate this now.

        "What happened to me?" the brother asked, unable to account for the last hour. He looked down at his littlest sister's gaping asshole, which was oozing blood and cum. The simple stallion had no recollection of what he had done and foolishly asked if she was okay.

twow: Did you NOT notice that your dick was covered in blood, cum and shit?!

AJ: Ah’d have thought he would have noted that FIRST.

        "No, big brother!" the filly screamed in pain and anger, "Ya'll done sodomized yer' little sister! My little Apple bottom's never been this sore before..."

twow: “Not even from mah spankings! Although, they felt kinda good...”

AJ: TWOW!

        Distraught with grief and shame from his foul deed, the stallion apologized profusely, stating he didn't know what came over him. He bent down and tried to untie the ropes which held his littlest sister captive. His rescue attempt was thwarted by Filthy Rich, who quietly walked up next to the stallion and bucked him in the side of the head.

twow: “Boom! Headshot!”

 The force of the blow pushed his head against the cider barrel and knocked him unconscious. The sobs of his two violated sisters was the last thing he heard before everything went black.

twow and Applejack: OH BULLSHIT!

twow: I’m sorry. I cannot accept that Big Fucking Macintoshgot his ass handed to him by THIS motherfucker!

AJ: Has this author even SEEN mah brother?! He’s built like a tank!

        The stallion was roused from his unconscious slumber by an unfamiliar sensation. He felt a tongue pressed up against his sphincter, which began giving him an expert rim job.

twow: But he kept missing and hitting the backboard.

His red asshole flexed in response to the unwanted stimulation. His face screwed up as he shuddered due to this new, forbidden pleasure.

AJ: WUT.

twow: Didn’t know his door swings both ways.

AJ: It doesn’t.

twow: Hell, maybe I’d have a sh- (punted by AJ)

        When he opened his eyes, the stallion saw that he was no longer in the cider cellar.

AJ: Ah bet anything he didn’t even MEAN to put that alliteration there.

His unconscious form had been transported to the dungeons below the castle. He couldn't move and was suspended in the air by chains. The restraints had been lowered from the ceiling and manacles were fastened around each leg, in addition to his neck.

twow: Kinky.

AJ: Ah can’t...

        The dungeon was dimly lit with torches as the stallion tried to see around the room. The first thing he noticed was Prince Blueblood standing directly in front of him.

twow: “Welcome...to MY LAIR!”

        "It would seem your tender ministrations have awoken the sleeping giant, friend," Blueblood said to Filthy Rich, who was directly behind the stallion. The businesscolt pulled the length of his tongue out of the stallion's sphincter and licked his lips.

AJ: That is positively disgustin’.

twow: “Tastes like chicken.”

        "My tongue has never before tasted a sweeter-smelling hole," Filthy Rich said to the immobilized workhorse, "It must be your diet of delicious apples that gives your shitter its delectable aroma."

twow: Because it works like that.

AJ: Usin’ his logic, Pinkie’s bathroom will ALWAYS smell like sweets.

 Filthy Rich then lowered his head and resumed his work of preparing the workhorse's well-toned ass. Ignoring his own discomfort, the stallion's only thoughts were for his family.

        "What have you monsters done with my sisters?" the stallion said, through gritted teeth. Blueblood smiled, in spite of the defamation to his character.

twow: Trust me, WE CAN THINK OF WORSe THINGS TO CALL HIM.

        "Monsters?" Blueblood asked, dubiously, "Filthy Rich and I aren't the ones who sodomized our little sister in a drunken frenzy of unbridled lust." As the stallion recollected his recent deeds, he hung his head and wept.

AJ: But he’s not the one that drugged the other one.

twow: Ow my brain.

        "I don't know why I violated my little sister," the stallion sobbed, "I swear, I'm not a lecherous wretch." The stallion paused, then looked up at Blueblood angrily.

         "You must have drugged me to make me act that way!" the workhorse said, shaking with rage. His fury caused the chains holding him to rattle.

twow: Catches on quick.

        "If you want to be the castle's cider supplier, then you're going to have to start being responsible for your choices and not blaming others for your misdeeds," Blueblood said, reproachfully, "All I did today was remove your inhibitions and provide the opportunity; the rest was your decision.

twow: “I also pushed you into a position to where you would have virtually no choice.”

AJ: “It was still all your fault though.”

 I freed you from the moral and ethical shackles forced upon you by liars and hypocrites. For the first time in your ignorant existence, I opened your eyes and allowed you to act according to your heart's desires."

twow and Applejack: (exchange looks)

twow: Should we?

AJ: Yeah.

        "That's not true," the stallion said, blubbering, "I never meant to hurt my sister." Blueblood stared at the psychologically-shattered stallion and smiled evilly.

        "I'm sure those are comforting words to the filly with the bloodstained and cum-coated shit hole," the prince said coldly, mocking the stallion's pain.

twow: Oh, you son of a BITCH.

AJ: Didn’t he rape and murder Sweetie Belle?

twow: Her and her sister AND mother. He has no room to talk.

         "Please, just let us go," the workhorse begged, looking into Blueblood's compassionless eyes, "Where are my sisters?"

        "Why, they're right here," Blueblood said, nonchalantly, as he gestured at two cider barrels, which were turned on their sides. The stallion heard the contents inside sloshing around, and knew that his sisters were floating in strong cider.

twow: They also looked like prunes.

AJ: (snorts in a laugh)

The cork in the side had been removed, enabling them to breathe. The orange mare banged on the inside of the cask that contained her.

        "Let us out of here!" the mare said, wearily, "Somepony help us!" The little filly cried from inside her barrel and complained that the cider made her feel funny.

AJ: She still has feeling?

twow: :-?

AJ: ...what?

Blueblood walked up to the orange mare's barrel and kicked it, causing its contents to slosh around. The mare sputtered and choked as she struggled to breathe. Blueblood looked into the cork hole and saw one of the mare's green eyes staring back at him, fearfully.

twow: “I’m looking upon the worst sight in the world.”

AJ: “It be a disgusting excuse for a stallion.”

        As the stallion watched this living nightmare play out before him, he couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the overwhelming smell of death and decay emanating from the far end of the dungeon. Behind the two barrels stood three walls of greasy, black prison bars that formed a cage against the side of the stone dungeon.

twow: I don’t think even Mr. Clean could fix this shit up.

 Within the large cell were all the surviving lepers in Canterlot, in addition to the recently deceased ones.

AJ: Lepers?! We don’t have lepers in Equestria!

twow: Course not. They’re all down here.

AJ: This is PART of Equestria.

        No other disease in the history of Equestria did more to lower one's social status than to be branded as a leper. The citizens of Canterlot saw ponies with the disease as untrustworthy, wrathful, unclean, hopeless, and suspicious. To the average pony, leprosy meant a long, disfiguring, and inevitable death. Even the word "leper" was enough to put the fear of Celestia into a pony's heart.

twow: Ain’t no joke on Earth either. Although, I think it’s not very common.

        Given the perceived horrors of the disease, ponies went out of their way to avoid contact with those who were infected. Laws were enacted which prohibited lepers from owning property or working in the city. With no other recourse, the lepers were forced to beg for charity in the streets and became a general public nuisance.

AJ: Because actually trying to HELP them would be ridiculous.

twow: Duh. Everyone knows that lepers are GREAT for sex.

AJ: What?!

twow: You know I’m gonna be right.

        Blueblood was fascinated with the mysterious ailment, and had rounded up all the lepers in Canterlot and locked them away. The prince assured the public that the lepers were segregated in order to curb the spread of the disease.

twow: YOU HAVE MAGIC. USE IT TO HELP.

AJ: twow, that would be KIND though.

twow: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

 In reality, the prince needed a group of ponies to be the subjects of his twisted experiments. The female lepers were eliminated quickly due to the misogynistic nature of Prince Blueblood. Genital mutilation and other forms of sexual torture were inflicted upon the mares to ensure that they would never bring a diseased foal into the world.

AJ: (crosses legs)

twow: You practically FELT that, didn’t ya?

AJ: Hurt like a bull.

        Once all the leprous mares were dead, the prince was content to let all the infected stallions die slowly in the dungeon. They were only given enough scraps of food to prevent themselves from starving to death. This was done so that Blueblood could observe the effects of leprosy over long periods of time.

twow: At that point, I would have refused and starved to death.

AJ: Ah’d have to agree.

        They wore tattered rags which had become fused to their open sores. Their shabby vestments helped to protect them from further deterioration. The cloth that covered their cutie marks was embroidered with a large yellow "L."

twow: (snickers)

AJ: How is this funny?!

twow: He’s calling them all losers. (smacked by AJ)

When lepers were still allowed to mingle with healthy citizens, the yellow "L" was a clear sign to others that the wearer also carried the dreaded ailment.

        Lepers were more than outcasts, they were symbolic representations of evil. It was the common belief that those with leprosy had voracious sexual desires and behaviors. The citizens of Canterlot viewed ponies with the disease as having strong sexual appetites and being morally perverted.

twow: “They also had an appetite for shredded wheat.”

        Leprosy was a warning to all ponies that their sinful lives might result in Celestia’s divine punishment. Due to the assumed immoral nature of the disease, lepers helped to reaffirm one’s commitment to and fear of the two Goddesses, Celestia and Luna.

AJ: That’s a good point. Where ARE the princesses?

twow: At this point, I don’t want them to show up.

        The leprous prisoners in the cell barely resembled ponies by this point. They all looked like living corpses, except for the few ponies in the cell who were already actual corpses. Even in the darkness, the red stallion could see their disease-ridden bodies, writhing in agony on the floor of the cell.

twow: ...

AJ: Ya can’t break on me now twow.

        Many of the lepers had various deformed or missing limbs, with maggot-infested ulcers covering their bodies. Some had pus-filled boils on their faces, which rendered them blind. Blueblood smiled happily at their agonizing existence. He took pleasure in knowing the extents to which a body was capable of enduring pain.

twow: Hai there “Marshmallow Holes” flashbacks.

AJ: Our only consolation is that they aren’t in orgasmic bliss.

        "Pathetic, aren't they?" Blueblood asked as he walked up to the bars, "And yet even these wretched creatures should have the opportunity to experience some fleeting pleasure before they die..." The prince walked up to the stallion, who was wincing from Filthy Rich nibbling on his bottom.

twow: Oh dear god...

AJ: Did it taste good?

twow: DAMN AJ!

        "My good friend Filthy Rich and I want to hold a little contest," Blueblood said to the stallion, "If you win, you and your sisters are free to leave without further incident." The stallion knew the prince could not be trusted, but he had nothing to gain by refusing to participate in the game.

twow: “He’s a sly one...Mr. Blueblood...”

        "What's... what's the contest?" the stallion asked. His joints ached from being suspended spread eagle, but he was determined to pass any test and endure any pain, for his sisters' sakes if nothing else.

AJ: That’s mah brother for ya.

twow: I’d do nothing less for my little sisters.

        "Filthy Rich thinks that when he buggers you, he'll make you cum before he does," Blueblood said, "If you can get him to fill your ass with semen before you climax, then you win the contest and are free to leave with your sisters."

twow: He’s fucked.

AJ: How do you suppose?

twow: One, Big Mac isn’t into stallions, while Filthy IS. Thus, it’ll be easy for him to get Big Mac to cum. Two, it’s quite possible that he still has some of that drug running through him.

        The stallion was horrified. He was no stallion stuffer and the thought of degrading himself by spreading his ass for another pony was almost more than he could bear.

twow: (stares for a minute, then busts up laughing)

AJ: Are you alright?

twow: Stallion stuffer! What the fuck Bronystories!!! (doubles over with more laughter)

AJ: Sugarcube, Ah think this story is messin with yer head.

 After a moment's hesitation, the stallion acquiesced and swished his tail, indicating he wanted to conclude these unpleasant proceedings as quickly as possible.

        Filthy Rich scooped up some grime from the dungeon floor and used it as lube on his hard member.

twow: That’s gross and probably really uncomfortable.

AJ: What happened to just using your spit?

 He then took more of the green slime from the ground and coated the stallion's red asshole to help prepare it for penetration. Blueblood lowered the red stallion's restraints so that Filthy Rich's cock was lined up evenly with the workhorse's ass. The businesscolt climbed on top of the other stallion and prepared to give him the business end of his shaft.

AJ: twow, please...

twow: I need one too AJ.

(Pinkie and Blueblood can hear something shaking behind them...)

twow: Pinkie...do you have a damn machine running back there?

Pinkie: Nope! I don’t know WHAT that is.

(The shaking is accompanied by heavy breathing, almost like hissing...)

twow: Oh boy...That better not be who I think it is.

AJ: Who do you think it is?

twow: My friend. And it’s not Fallen.

(The sound of a chair scraping against the floor echoes through the room, as if being ground to dust against it...)

???: Move over.

Blueblood: What in the...

Pinkie: Steel!

twow: Wait, he’s there?!

(A shadow rises behind Pinkie and Blueblood, a very distinct hood up over the head.)

Steel: I thought I told you to do something... I’d like it if you did it. (Something is clearly clenched in his hands. A very thick stack of papers...)

Blueblood: I DID read the papers you gave me! You were there when I did!

Steel: Shove over before I chuck you out the Goddamn window. And don’t think I won’t. (Speaking with as level a tone as his raspy breathing will allow.) I need the table for a second.

(Blueblood moves over to allow Steel room)

Pinkie: Steel, what’s wrong?

Steel: (Walks up to the table, dropping the stack of papers on it. The cover clearly reads “120 Days of Blueblood.” He proceeds to crack his knuckles, leering at Blueblood.) You... are really lucky you aren’t from this story.

twow: Don’t suppose I could just read THAT and get out of here.

Blueblood: You can’t.

twow: Damn it.

AJ: That’s the entire story right there?!

Steel: One chapter short. Now, this is what I think of it...

(With a roar, Steel rears back and axehandles the table, breaking it in half.)

Steel: THAT. Is what I think of this fucking story! NINE GOD-FORSAKEN CHAPTERS!!!

twow: Holy shit man! What the hell?!

Pinkie: Now we’re gonna need a whole new table!

Steel: Blueblood... I’m gonna leave now. Read the story if you want... but pray you don’t see me again for the next week. I. Will. Murder. You. Otherwise. (Steel then walks out, hood still up over his head, absolutely fuming.) I NEED TO GO PUNCH A TREE. TELL AJ I’M SORRY. (Following the slam of the door, what sounds like... crying comes from outside as Steel runs off for the farm.)

twow: Uh, Steel’s...

AJ: Ah understand.

twow: Maybe...we should just continue.

AJ: Yeah.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

        The red stallion wore a look of shocked surprise as the cock slid effortlessly into his loosened ass. Filthy Rich's foreplay had gone to great lengths to ensure that the red stallion's first anal experience was not too painful.

AJ: Well that was nice of him.

 Filthy Rich knew the workhorse had to enjoy the buggering in order to cum first. The red stallion let out a pained scream upon losing his anal virginity. Blueblood took the opportunity to lean over the barrel to further tease the orange mare.

AJ: Oh.

twow: The jokes make themselves.

        "I'll let your whole family go, provided your brother doesn't climax first," Blueblood said, "It shouldn't be difficult for him, considering he recently slacked his desire inside your sister's ass."

        The red workhorse had planned to just endure the anal assault until Filthy Rich came. Once the colt cuddler's dick was inside him though, the stallion had to rethink his strategy.

twow: He’s gotta use the Force.

        The red pony wasn't attracted to other males, but the sensation of another stallion's lubed member pushing past his sphincter had a immediate effect on the workhorse's prostate. His own

cock quickly became aroused and grew hard once the sodomy commenced.

AJ: Does that even happen if a male...

twow: I would NOT know. I am attracted to females.

AJ: Does that expand beyond humans?

twow: In a se-wait, what?!

AJ: (smiles)

In a sense of panicked self-actualization, the red stallion realized that not only was this experience starting to feel pleasurable, but that if he wasn't careful, he might end up losing the competition

        "Ohhh..." the red stallion moaned in pleasure as Filthy Rich slapped his partner's ass. Blueblood chuckled as he rested a hoof on the cider barrel that held the orange mare captive.

twow: “Look at him. Taking a dick like a MAN.”

AJ: ...

        "It seems your brother is quite the pervert," the prince said to her, looking at the mare through the cork hole, "Not only does he derive pleasure from raping little fillies, but he also apparently enjoys being sodomized by stallions."

twow: “And above all, he LOOOOVES his alliteration.”

The blonde mare didn't want to think about what her brother was doing, but the loud moans from both stallions was painting a pretty clear picture.

AJ: He made sure to use acrylic paint.

        The red stallion's panting grew louder and his moans became more frantic. He could sense his impending orgasm and was desperately trying not to cum, but it looked as though Filthy Rich would win the battle.

        The stallion knew his only chance of victory was to make Filthy Rich climax first, so the workhorse started talking dirty in an effort to make the other stallion cum quickly.

AJ: This ain’t gonna be awkward.

twow: Course not!

        "You're so big!" the stallion said, flatteringly. He was willing to say or do anything required in order to end this nightmare, even lie through his teeth.

twow and AJ: ...

        "I love your hot cock in my tight ass!" the workhorse said, emphatically, "Fill your bitch up with hot sticky cum! I want it all inside me!" Blueblood laughed at the red stallion's desperate attempts to bring his partner to a quick climax.

twow and AJ: (bust up laughing)

twow: If I ever heard that in real life....Buwahahaha!

        When the dirty talk failed to work, the stallion flexed his rectal muscles and squeezed down on the businesscolt's prick. The stallion's ass pulled and rubbed against the cock, trying frantically to force his partner to cum inside him.

        Unfortunately for the red stallion, the businesscolt was well-trained in the art of sex.

AJ: Madame Pinkie taught him well.

 Filthy Rich had excellent control of his pelvic muscles. By tensing them tight in ten second intervals, the businesscolt had become skilled at controlling his own orgasms. Filthy Rich savored the slow buildup to his climax and was never quick to finish. There really was no contest as to who was going to win.

twow: There never WAS. That would imply that there was hope.

AJ: Can’t have that here.

 The outcome was certain before it began. Dangling a false carrot of hope allowed the two sadists stallions to further degrade and torture their victim before moving on to the next event.

        Squeezing the sphincter tight around the cock had the unfortunate side effect of bringing the red stallion past the point of no return. He had no choice. He was going to cum.

twow: About time.

        "No..." the stallion moaned weakly as his seed exploded onto the dungeon floor. Prince Blueblood declared the contest over and named Filthy Rich as the victor. The stallion hung his head in defeat as he continued to shoot semen onto the ground. Blueblood walked back over to the sisters to announce the news as well.

AJ: Wait, we can’t see it?

twow: “I’m not entirely sure.”

        "If your brother had more control over his body, all of you could've been freed by now," Blueblood taunted, "It's a shame he valued his own pleasure more than your escape." The brother wept as the last lingering remains of his discharge dripped down the tip of his softening cock and onto the floor.

AJ: That, and the fact that he was outmatched.

twow: One of the few times that’ll ever happen to Big Macintosh.

        Filthy Rich, who still had yet to cum, continued pounding the defeated stallion's ass. Prince Blueblood stood in front of the two barrels and addressed the red stallion.

        "I told the lepers that if you lost, I would give them two barrels of your delicious cider," Blueblood said, "Well, I'm a stallion of my word, so it's time I fulfill my part of the bargain."

twow: Grab the cups.

        Blueblood used his magic to open the leper's cell door. The prince then bucked his hind-hooves against the barrel containing the orange mare. That barrel, in turn, connected with the other barrel that entrapped the yellow filly.

AJ: Blueblood’s version of Dominos.

twow: And we ain’t talking about the pizza.

 The stallion watched horrified as the barrels rolled into the cell and smashed against the far dungeon wall. Blueblood closed the cell door to prevent anypony from getting in or out.

twow: “STRIKE!”

AJ: “It’s a double!”

        The terrific force of the crash caused the barrels to splinter into pieces. The sisters lay beside each other in intense pain, feeling too sore to move. They sputtered and choked on the cider as the remaining contents of the cask flooded the floor of the cell.

AJ: Oh no, get up!

twow: Something’s probably broken. They aren’t moving.

        The throats of the prisoners were intentionally kept perpetually parched, so seeing the strong cider pouring onto the ground sent them into a wild frenzy to quench their thirsts. The ones who could still move started shambling, crawling or dragging their misshapen bodies towards the spill.

twow: That made me think of the Lab Rats from Borderlands 2 and I am sad now.

 The lepers who were too weak to move lay there crying or thrashed their heads and groaning with frustration.

        The stallions started sucking the cider off the filthy stone floor. As the puddle shrank from their consumption, the prisoners crawled over each other to get closer to the frightened females.

twow: I swear he’s pulling this alliteration on purpose.

AJ: It’s like he knows.

        The lepers made horrible moans as they advanced on the sisters. Some were blind, but for those who were still able to see, the light of decency had been extinguished from their eyes. Decades of being treated like a cancer on the world had eradicated compassion and reason from their minds.

twow: So I guess they’ve been spared from the reason. (smacked by AJ)

AJ: That joke was horrible.

 Their monstrous treatment from Prince Blueblood had left their grotesque bodies unmoored from conscience and carried by the winds of base desire.

AJ: The wind was blowing east that day.

twow: Rainbow’s heading that way.

        The two females were still in great pain after slamming against the wall. They lay there soaking wet and unable to defend themselves from the advancing horde. Blueblood couldn't be sure, but he thought one of the mare's hind-legs must have broken in the crash.

twow: Kinda thought that would happen.

        The first stallion to reach the orange mare was completely blind. The unsightly boils which covered his face required him to find her by smell. The strong aroma of cider and sweat led him right to her. He crawled beside her and began sucking the cider off of her right fore-hoof.

twow: Kin-

AJ: DON’T YOU DARE.

The mare winced as she felt his slimy tongue against her matted coat. His mouth contained nothing but rotting or missing teeth, and the pus from his boils oozed down his face and onto her hoof. She tried to sit up and fight back, but there were too many of them closing in on her. As several lecherous lepers started sucked cider off of her coat and wet mane, the mare slipped into hopeless despair.

twow: “I am in misery! There ain’t nobody that can-”

AJ: You and your singin’.

twow: Fluttershy likes it.

AJ: I bet she does.

twow: ...

        The yellow filly cried as her whole body ached, especially her ass, which had a ring of dried blood around her sphincter. She looked to her right and caught glimpses of her sister, surrounded by a mass of unwashed lepers as they licked the mare's entire body.

twow: Please AJ! It’s RIGHT THERE!

AJ: Fine, but this is the last time.

twow: KINKY!

        The filly was drawn away from her sister's peril as she became more aware of her own imminent danger. One of the lepers hobbled towards her, groaning in pain as he moved. His gnarled fore-hooves bled as he dragged himself towards her young body.

twow: He should have turned around.

AJ: Why?

twow: Then he’d be “backin up, backin up-” (bucked by AJ)

AJ: Enough.

She lay fearfully on her back as the stallion raised himself above her and stared at her with his one good eye. It had been years since the stallion had last known female companionship and he eyed the filly below him with lustful intentions.

twow: Kinda hating my life right now.

AJ: How do ya think I feel?!

        In an act of abject fear, the filly released her bladder in front of the stallion. This submissive act was all the invitation the prisoner needed. Lowering himself between her haunches, the stallion put his rough, sandpaper-like lips on her small pussy. Moaning lustfully, the leper eagerly drank the yellow stream as it flowed from her young slit.

twow: And best yet, he gets the lemonade for FREE! (thrown by AJ)

AJ: You’ve obliterated the line at this point.

        The filly whimpered and begged for the lewd stallion to stop as he continued slurping her pee. When her stream weakened down to a trickle, the leper lapped his tongue across her virgin mound, cleaning the last of the urine off of her.

AJ: At least he got all of it?

twow: That’s like complementing a serial killer on not leaving anyone alive.

When he reached her tiny clit, the filly winced as the stallion stirred up feelings inside her that she had never known before. She hated what was happening to her, but she couldn't deny that it was infinitely more pleasurable than what her brother had already done to her.

twow: I’m gonna have to give her that one. Anal is dumb.

        Filthy Rich continued to bugger the stallion, who watched in disbelief as the leprous prisoners surrounded and molested his sisters. The prince was watching the orgy of the lepers with rapt attention. The brother cried for Blueblood to free his sisters from the cell.

twow: How is that so entertaining?

AJ: Well, maybe he likes watching a rape?

twow: Duh. I assumed he’d be PART of it.

        "In the name of the Goddesses, stop this madness before they are killed!" the workhorse sobbed, "Why are you doing this?!" Blueblood slowly turned his head away from the cell and walked calmly over to the suspended stallion.

AJ: Do Ah even NEED to mention it?

twow: Bingo! I should make a Bingo game...

Blueblood brought his face level with the distraught brother. The prince stared into the workhorse's eyes, which were red and puffy from the copious amounts of tears he had shed for his sisters and his own shame.

twow: They looked like bagels.

        "I do this for the same reason anypony should do anything," Blueblood said, "Because I can." These words penetrated deep into the stallion's heart. He knew at that moment that there was no hope for any of them.

twow: ...Damn.

AJ: Ah really hate him, but at least he told the truth.

        Hearing Blueblood crush the stallion's spirit sent Filthy Rich over the edge, who pumped load after load from his balls into the sorrowful stallion.

        Filthy Rich pulled his long cock out of the workhorse's gaping asshole. Cum poured from his stretched sphincter and dripped slowly onto the ground.

AJ: Now it could be used as a cupholder.

twow: I’m not even gonna comment on alliteration anymore. Do you see what you’ve done to me, Bronystories!?

        By now the cell had devolved into a complete leprous orgy. The stallion who had been licking the filly's tender folds leaned forward and shoved his cock inside, taking her virginity. The filly cried as her hymen tore and she became filled for the first time. Blood trickled from her orifice as she reflected on the shame of having lost two virginities in one day.

twow: “Well, I lost TWO virginities. Now I’m a real mare!”

        Growing up on a farm, the filly had seen animals copulate before. It was only natural. She knew what sex was, but had no idea her first time would be so traumatizing. She had wanted to wait until she had gotten her cutie mark before she considered courting a stallion. Her dreams of a happy life had been dashed as it appeared the raping would never end.

twow: (wince)

AJ: twow, you alright?

twow: Just memories...I’ll be fine.

        "Take it out! Take it out!" she wailed, "It smells funny and it hurts!" As the filly cried in agony, as stallion pumped faster and faster. His bare chest was covered in open sores, which oozed pus and blood and were home to dozens of maggots.

twow: There’s not enough water in Equestria.

AJ: We could use acid.

twow: Yeah. Mercy kill!

 As he drove his diseased dick deeper into the filly, the maggots were shaken loose from his sores and landed on her chest. She looked down and stared horrified at the maggots as they writhed around on her belly. Blood and pus also dripped onto her yellow coat as the stallion pumped faster.

AJ: It’s like he’s churnin butter!

twow: I wouldn’t put the result on my toast even if you paid me.

        The pain on his gnarled hooves was making it difficult for him to stand over her, so the stallion grabbed the filly on either side and lifted her up as he repositioned himself so that he was laying on his back. The maggots that were on her chest fell down onto the stallion and found their way back into his open sores.

twow: “Fuck freedom, I wanna go home!”

        The leper pulled the filly down so that she was lying on his bloody, pus-oozing, maggot-infested chest. He bucked his hips, driving his cock back into her bleeding pussy.

AJ: For being so weak, he’s strong enough to rape mah sister.

twow: Adrenaline and arousal. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

        Another leper saw that the filly's recently-used ass was currently unoccupied and decided to avail himself of it. The second leper leaned over her back and inserted his boil-covered cock into her blood-encrusted asshole. In spite of the reaming she had received earlier from her brother, the filly's ass wasn't even loose.

twow: I’m going to not understand that and move on now.

It was so tight that the vice-like grip of her rectum burst all the boils on the leper's cock, filling the filly's ass with slimy pus. Using the unorthodox lube that now coated her insides, the leper began pumping her ass with increasing speed. The pleasure he felt in his dick soon began to drown out the pain that could be felt throughout the rest of his body.

twow: You heard it here first. Sex will drown out all pain.

AJ: Assuming that you’ll have the strength to begin having it.

        The eldest sister didn't fare any better, as she was completely surrounded on all sides by diseased dicks. The mare had a cock shoved up her pussy and another one in her ass, while at the same time she was encircled about by leprous stallions who were all jerking off to her.

twow: Well, at least there’s one good thing to pull from this.

AJ: And that is?!

twow: They must think that you’re attractive.

AJ: (mumbles) I guess...

 She lay her back on the chest of the stallion who had his dick up her ass. The stallion in her vagina had calloused skin all over his cock, which made it feel like sandpaper. She cried as the inner folds of her vagina began to tear and bleed from the rough ramming she was receiving. The callouses minimized the pleasure that the stallion was able to feel.

twow: I’m suprised that he can FEEL period.

 He rubbed the mare's insides raw as he tried desperately to cum for the first time in years. Blood poured from her vagina and she knew her marehood would never fully recover after this.

AJ: That’s assuming that Ah get to LIVE after this.

twow: At this point, I don’t think that you’d want to.

        Stallions formed a semicircle around her head and came all over her face. Even the semen of the lepers looked unhealthy. One stallion ejaculated a light pink mixture of semen and blood. Another leper had a big boil on the bulb of his cock. When he came, the boil exploded, showering the mare with semen and pus.

AJ: EWWWW!

twow: I guess he really “blew” his load then. (slapped by AJ)

 Another stallion screamed in pain as he came a watery, milky white ejaculate, which appeared to be crawling with maggots that had been expelled from his scrotum. Her face was covered in the various disgusting substances as she lay their and took it. The mare's body was wracked with too much pain to fight back.

twow: I’m sorry, but I’m still surprised that these guys are even alive.

AJ: And Ah laid something of theirs down. Wonder what it was.

        Having enjoyed the show, Prince Blueblood lowered the chains and released the stallion from his shackles. The prince opened the door to the cell, offering the stallion a chance to rescue his sisters. As much as the stallion wanted to stomp Blueblood and Filthy Rich's faces into paste, he knew he needed to help his sisters first.

twow: I would have looped around so that I could have SNAPPED BLUEBLOOD’S FILTHY NECK while I was at it.

AJ: You aren’t okay.

        The workhorse ran inside to stop the rape and knocked several lepers away with his brawny shoulders. The one leper in the mare's vagina finally managed to cum, just as he was knocked aside. His foul-smelling ejaculate arced over the red stallion's back and landed unceremoniously on the floor.

twow: “Eww! It smells like piss and nachos!”

        The other prisoners quickly pulled out of the females, whether they had managed to climax or not. The lepers crawled into the darkened corners of the cell and cowered like wild animals.

        Instead of immediately pummeling the rapists to a pulp, the stallion wanted to check on his sisters. As he approached the little filly, the brother fell to the ground and wept. He was too late. His little sister was dead.

AJ: (holds twow, sniffing) It’s okay, that’s not really mah sis...

twow: .......................................

        The stallion reasoned that her tender heart had simply given out from trauma she experienced and the mounting agony of it all. The big brother sat up and leaned forward, lifting his younger sister's broken body up and cradling it against his chest. She had died before he could fully express to her the unrelenting shame he felt for violating her.

twow: Not that I’m sure, but I THINK that she knows that he didn’t want to hurt her.

AJ: But now he can’t really tell her.

        "I'm sorry," the stallion blubbered as he rocked back and forth, clutching his dead sister, "I'm so sorry."

        The mare looked over and saw her brother. A single tear streaked down her cum-covered face as she saw the filly's limp frame in his fore-hooves.

twow: “That’s all you get, I’m too lazy for more emotion.”

AJ: This CAN’T be me.

 Wiping the ejaculate off of her face, the mare summoned the last of her strength in an effort to move her broken bones. Brushing the maggots off of her chest, the mare began to crawl towards her brother. Putting her right fore-hoof around the red stallion's shoulder, she lifted herself up and stared at her dead sister.

twow: “And nothing of value was lost.” (smacked by the universe)

 Together, the two surviving siblings wailed pitifully as they mourned the loss of the innocent little filly.

AJ: It sounded like a tornado siren.

twow: Not if it wasn’t on a Friday.

        Without a word, Filthy Rich and Prince Blueblood exited the dungeon through the long and winding staircase. On the way out, the prince used magic to extinguish the lights. The entire dungeon was plunged into total darkness. The only sounds that could be heard were the wailing of the two siblings.

twow: Did they not try to get the fuck OUT?!

        It was several hours later, and nopony in the dungeon had moved an inch. The mare was in too much pain to move anymore and the stallion was too emotionally devastated to enact vengeance upon the lepers that surrounded him. All the stallion could do was cradle the dead filly and say over and over how sorry he was until he lost his voice.

AJ: There’s yer reason.

twow: Okay, I understand that they are both broken to hell. But the best idea would have been to get as far away from that area as possible! They didn’t lock the door!

        To prepare for the day's activities, Prince Blueblood had consulted with a zebra apothecary named Atropa Belladonna. The zebra was the one who provided the prince with the potent herbal aphrodisiac. She also knew how to eliminate unwanted guests from castles.

twow: “Man the catapults!”

        Taking Deadly Nightshade, the potions master used a mortar and pestle to grind the berries and leaves into a fine powder. A bellows was employed to pump the deadly dust into the cell through several small air shafts that connected the dungeon with the rest of the castle.

AJ: Because letting us just leave would have been TOO MUCH.

twow: He slaughtered Rarity’s family and murdered Pinkie when they would have left. Blueblood does not understand morality.

        As the Deadly Nightshade fell upon those in the dungeon, everypony who was alive began to experience severe headaches and nausea. Some of the lepers began to scrape at their open sores, causing themselves to bleed uncontrollably.

AJ: I thought they were bleeding already!

twow: They’re gonna need a few more Band-Aids.

After a more prolonged exposure to the poison, everypony started vomiting feverishly. The mare and her brother vomited onto the stone floor, while the blind or immobile lepers covered themselves in each other's sick.

twow: Bathing with style.

AJ: As long as nopony drops the soap.

        Finally, the prisoners began to feel drowsy, before slipping quietly into death. Due to the lepers already sickly conditions, they all died off quicker than the siblings. This allowed the mare and stallion to have one final private talk together. The last thing the mare did before she succumbed the the Deadly Nightshade was to forgive her brother.

twow: .....

AJ: We’re almost done. I think. Please don’t break on me!

        "I... I know you've always loved us," the mare wheezed, "Our sister knew it, too. And that's the honest... truth." With those words, the orange mare leaned over and died.

        The stallion sat alone in the dark, surrounded by the smell of vomit and death.

twow: There isn’t enough Glade in the world.

AJ: Pine-Sol. That always works.

twow: ...Derpy’s been talking to you about Earth again.

 His two dead sisters rested in his lap. He stroked their manes tenderly before kissing them on the head. When the Deadly Nightshade, which coated their bodies, made contact with the stallion's lips, it accelerated his demise. The workhorse's eyes grew heavy, before he slumped forward and joined his sisters in death.

twow: I’m sorry AJ, but it’s about time.

AJ: It’s fine, twow.

        Blueblood sat in his study, writing about the day's activities. He kept a barrel of strong, spiced cider next to his other trophies. Levitating a goblet over to the tap, the prince poured himself a cup and brought it back to his lips. He took a long deliberate sip of cider that reminded him of the sweet nectar he savored from the mare's orange mound.

twow: And now cider is ruined for me.

AJ: Until Ah force it down yer throat.

twow: That’ll help.

        Once the cider-sellers and the lepers had all been exterminated, Blueblood made sure to have their bodies burned. The cell was thoroughly washed by the castle's servants and made ready for when its next occupants arrived.

twow: He checked the listing. They were coming on next Tuesday.

AJ: twow, it’s time for us to leave.

twow: Hell. Yes.

Pinkie: (from TV) T? AJ? Are you two alright?

AJ: I’m trying, but I’m worried about twow.

twow: This just gets worse and worse! Everytime I think I got this, it throws something else at me!!

AJ: Isn’t this your test though?

twow: Punishment, test, whatever.

Blueblood: You can always give up twow.

twow: Don’t you even START with me. I’m not losing my life in Equestria because of you.

AJ: But twow, Ah’d rather you be happy then force yourself to do something you don’t want.

twow: AJ, I’m happy in here. In Equestria, in my lab. And when I’m done with this, I can finally move on.

AJ: From what?

twow: I’ve...had some trouble with my memories from my past. I’d rather go into the details when I can get you all in my lab.

AJ: Fair enough. But you gotta promise me something.

twow: And that is?

AJ: If it gets too much, then pack it in. Okay?

twow: ...alright AJ. For you.

AJ: No, it’s for you. But Ah appreciate it.

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

AJ: And I really would stay, but I think Ah need to go hug Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom harder than I ever have before.

(A voice calls from behind Pinkie and Blueblood at the door.)

Twilight: Pinkie! Could you give me a hoof?!

twow: The hell? Twilight?

Twilight: I need you to help me with Steel! He broke his hand punching one of the orchard’s trees, and now he’s chasing Lyra around with a chair!

Pinkie: Sure Twilight! Gotta go T! See you later AJ! (disappears from screen)

AJ: (hugs twow) Ah’ll see you Sugarcube.

twow: Yeah. Go see your family.

(Applejack leaves the lab, the doors closing and locking behind her)

twow: (sighs) Only five more to go...

Blueblood: Six, if you count the one that will be written.

twow: Right.

Blueblood: It’s getting harder for you, isn’t it?

twow: I’m going to NOT answer that because you damn well know the answer.

Blueblood: I’m surprised at your determination, but I have some bad news for you. One of your friends, I believe his name was “Atlas” mentioned that Chapter five was the worst one yet.

twow: Oh goody.

Blueblood: If you can actually complete that one twow, well I might have some respect for you yet.

twow: And when I’m done with all of this, I’m going to hunt you down with my candy striped shotgun.

Blueblood: Fair enough. Enjoy your final night in Equestria, because you will fail next time.

twow: This just proves that you don’t know me.

*BUZZ*

twow: I’ve got break sign!

Just about halfway done now guys. Thanks to everyone that’s been reading along and supporting me. I have no real way to show how much this means to me. And yes, I HAVE been told that chapter 5 is damn horrible.

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 5

I’m scared.

No, I’m being dead serious this time. I’ve been told by several of my friends that this and the next chapter are the WORST, besides one other. And as I’m keeping my tradition of not reading this story beforehand, I believe them. (They care about me, I know they aren’t lying.)

All I know about this chapter is that it involves....foals. DAMN IT. This is going to bloody SUCK.

Well, I’m not ready, but let’s dive in. 120 Days of Blueblood, chapter 5.

(Also, special thanks to KillerSteel, Fallen Prime and Nocturnal Melodies for sitting in while I riff. Means a bunch guys.)

twow: I need to put the connector cable on the left...

Pinkie: (from TV) Hi T! How are you?

twow: Little better. Trying to create a flamethrower out of a hair dryer.

Pinkie: And...how is that working?

twow: Not good. It keeps shooting money at me.

Pinkie: Money?

twow: Yeah. Sometimes it’s human money, and other times its bits. Hell, I have no idea how it’s even being MADE.

Pinkie: You should just keep it like that!

twow: I’m thinking about it, I really am...

Blueblood: Wouldn’t that be counterfeit?

twow: Think of it like a portable printing press. Also, what do you want?

Blueblood: I’d assume that you would be able to figure it out.

twow: I had to ask for my health. Who’s up this time?

Blueblood: Well, I couldn’t single out any of your friends this time and Pinkie Pie wouldn’t let me bring in who I wanted, so...

(The lab doors open to let Derpy in, closing behind her)

Derpy: (squeezing twow) twow! Are you doing okay?!

twow: Well....breathing helped.

Derpy: (lets go) Oops.

twow: So, he pulled you in here. This better NOT have you or Dinky.

Pinkie: It doesn’t. But...it has other foals...

twow: I’m going to eat your parents Blueblood.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

"No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks."

—Mary Wollstonecraft

twow: Unless they are nutcases.

It was late-December throughout Equestria. A time when ponies were encouraged to care for one another. Even Prince Blueblood was planning to do his part to give to those less fortunate than himself.

Derpy: He’s not gonna be passing out milk and cookies.

twow: It’ll be more like natural lemonade and cookies made out of shit.

The royal sisters walked peaceably through the long halls of Canterlot Castle. Celestia, goddess of the day, and Luna, goddess of the night, spoke in regal tones as they moved.

"We presume word hath reached thine ear, dear sister, of our nephew's depraved acts?" Celestia asked in a hushed royal Canterlot voice.

twow: Wait, they KNEW?!

Derpy: I guess?

twow: In that case, why didn’t Celestia flip her shit at Twilight’s death? I mean, that was her STUDENT!

"Yea," Luna responded in a similar tone, "The dressmaker's family, thy student, the gypsy and the distillers. Blueblood's deeds of cruelty hath spread throughout the kingdom. Rumors fly that he hath decreed that a select group of orphaned foals be brought into the castle."

"Then we must hurry before we are too late," Celestia said, as the sisters quickened their pace.

Derpy: The princesses are gonna do something!

twow: Anything less of castration is too little.

Blueblood could hardly contain his excitement in preparation for the night's activities. His friends were with him, Fancy Pants and Fleur-di-lis. The three of them stood in a round dining room with two tables; a rectangular one for the adults and a crescent-shaped table for the children.

twow: I’da thought that the first table would have looked like a sun.

Derpy: The carpenter ran out of time.

Everything was ornately decorated and immaculate in appearance. The three unicorns stood there, waiting eagerly for the rest of the guests to arrive.

The door suddenly opened as Filthy Rich walked in with two fillies; one pink and the other grey. The pink child had a smug look on her face that Blueblood had to admire seeing on one so young.

twow: UGH.

Derpy: twow, do you not like Diamond Tiara or something?

twow: Fucking hate her. She reminds me of my third-grade “friends.”

Clearly she was used to getting everything she wanted. Behind her walked a blushing grey filly in a maid's outfit.

"This is my step daughter, Diamond Tiara," Filthy Rich said, gesturing to the pink filly. The prince bowed and walked over to kiss her hoof.

twow: She then proceeded to stomp him in the face.

Derpy: The dentist's bill was outrageous.

"Enchanting to meet you, my dear," Blueblood said, courteously.

"And with us tonight is Silver Spoon," Filthy Rich said, gesturing to the other filly, who did a timid curtsy, "She and her mother became my servants after her father racked up an enormous debt. The coward committed suicide in the wake of his bankruptcy, leaving his family to settle his debts through their servitude.

twow: Wow. That was the way of the coward.

Derpy: Twow!

twow: He had a wife and daughter. You don’t just leave them like that.

" The grey filly gave a quiet sob. Filthy Rich ignored Silver Spoon's whimpering.

"Her job, as you can tell by her recently-acquired cutie mark, is to polish the silver." Filthy Rich added, gesturing towards Silver Spoon. Due to being similar in age, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had become somewhat friends, but the pink filly was never afraid to lord her position as master over her servant.

twow: Yup, that’s Diamond Tiara.

Derpy: Your dislike of her better not be the only thing you dwell on.

"I take it the others have yet to arrive?" Filthy Rich asked, looking around.

"You're the first to make it, after us," Fancy Pants said, gesturing to Fleur and himself, "I can't imagine what's keeping those orphans."

twow: “They started chasing a loaf of bread.”

As if in response to his words, the door opened again and four more children entered, three colts and one filly. They walked nervously, flanked on either side by guards as escorts. Obeying an order from the prince, the children had been recently cleaned in preparation for tonight.

Derpy: Who thinks that that’ll change by the end of this?

(twow spatially waves his hand)

Derpy: Thought so.

With the exception of Diamond Tiara, all of the children wore apprehensive looks on their faces. No doubt tales of the prince's lascivious cruelty had reached their young ears. When the children had been delivered into the hooves of Prince Blueblood, the guards returned to their posts.

twow: “At least we don’t have to watch this time.”

Blueblood approached the closest orphan, an orange pegasus, and asked for her name. She respectfully bowed her head before the prince, while still holding her ground.

"I''m Scootaloo," she said, "Why have you brought us here?" The three colts behind her listened anxiously for the answer.

twow: “All we want is to feed you.”

Derpy: “And don’t worry, it’s all natural.”

"Why my dear," Fancy Pants said, walking forward while chuckling, "The prince and his friends always have room at their table for beggars and orphans at this time of year." A rotund grey colt with a dark brown mane perked his ears up at the mention of a table. His fork and knife cutie mark wiggled as he waddled forward to speak.

Derpy: It looked like a penguin.

twow: Damn...

"You mean we're going to get to eat with you?" the colt asked, hopefully. Fleur walked up close and looked into his eyes.

"We have a special feast planned for everypony," she said, scrunching up her nose in a cute manner, "Tell me, my handsome young stallion, what is your name?"

twow: I’m not sure that I like her tone.

"Truffle Shuffle," the colt said, blushing. He lowered his head as he lazily kicked at the air with his hoof, "We don't eat so well at the orphanage. I'm always hungry." To further emphasize the point, the colt's stomach rumbled. Fleur giggled.

Derpy: Because hunger is funny. Okay.

twow: Just as how rape is funny. Remember who we are reading about.

"I can assure you, you'll get your fill tonight," Blueblood said. When he saw that the fillies and colts were warming up to him, Blueblood approached the last two unidentified orphans.

"And what are your names?" the prince asked, "Tell me about yourselves." The first one to speak was a pinto earth pony colt with a thick cockney accent. He bowed before Prince Blueblood.

twow: “Well, I’ve grown up learning about how you are a sadistic as-”

Derpy: TWOW!

twow: What? He IS!

"My name is Pip, your Majesty," the colt said, humbly, "My parents were but poor immigrants from Trottingham who died on the boat trip over to Canterlot. I arrived alone and was sent to live at the orphanage."

Derpy: Aww, poor little guy.

twow: He’s a strong one, I’ll give him that.

The last colt was still a bit dirty, in spite of his imposed bath. It was as if the dirt on him went all the way to his core. He was a skinny, sickly-looking pegasus with large ears and bad teeth. As the prince stood before the colt, the youth had the good sense to introduce himself.

twow: Technically, they ALL did except for Diamond and Silver.

"My name's Featherweight," the colt said, sadly, "After my mother died when foaling me, I worked in the mines below Canterlot Castle, carting gems with my father. Not long after he died in a cave in, I became too distraught to work and was brought to the orphanage."

twow: Hell, Rarity should go there to get her ge...oops.

Derpy: Forgot about that, didn’t ya?

Blueblood ordered the children to stand in a straight line, which they did. Three fillies and three colts. Diamond Tiara resented being placed alongside her servant and four wretched beggars, but if it meant an audience with the prince, then she wouldn't complain.

twow: Get the fuck over it.

Derpy: Geez, twow.

twow: Even in THIS universe, she’s being a little bitch.

Blueblood and his friends stared into the eyes of their young visitors. Some were excited, while most were nervous. Blueblood was about to ask the colts and fillies to turn around, when the doors burst open.

Derpy: “You’re all getting whipped!”

twow: “And none of you better like it!”

Celestia and Luna walked regally into the room. Everypony in the room bowed in reverence upon seeing the two sisters, except for Blueblood.

Even though Celestia and Luna were rarely if ever seen by the public, everypony in Equestria knew their faces.

twow: That’s a duh moment.

 Tapestries and statues throughout the kingdom were adorned with their likenesses. The isolation from their subjects helped fuel their godlike mystique. The children dared not look up, fearing their eyes would melt if they gazed upon their radiant countenances.

twow: So would they melt like in Indiana Jones?”

Derpy: I was thinking more like in Drag Me to Hell.”

twow: Why did I show you that again?

 Celestia wore a scowl on her face as she approached Blueblood.

"Nephew, what hast thou done?" Celestia asked regally, "We came to discuss with thee thy recent deeds and instead find thee with thy friends and a small host of children." Blueblood looked down, ashamed.

twow: If you do not remove his dick, I swear...

Derpy: Finally! He’s gonna get what he deserves!

"I... I was about to inspect them for the Blue Moon Saturnalia," Blueblood said, reluctantly. Celestia and Luna exchanged glances before looking back at their nephew.

"We are very disappointed in thee, Blueblood..." Luna said, somberly. Blueblood lowered himself even further, before Celestia finished her sister's statement.

twow: (cocks shotgun)

Derpy: Excited twow?

twow: Like you wouldn’t believe.

"We are disappointed that thou didst not wait for us!" Celestia said, smiling. Blueblood and his friends all raised their heads and beamed while breathing a sigh of relief. The children remained on the ground with their faces covered by their fore-hooves, unsure what exactly was happening.

twow: Wait, what?

Derpy: Just what IS this celebration?

"Thou knowest that the Blue Moon Saturnalia is our most favorite of celebrations," Luna said, "While thee and thy friends inspect the children, we shall instruct them on our history and our rules. Arise children."

Derpy: Looks like it’s back to school.

twow: I always enjoyed history.

Reluctantly, the children stood and cautiously opened their eyes. The fillies and colts stared at the sisters' hooves before slowly raising their eyes to view the princesses completely.

twow: Wait! You aren’t wearing sunglasses!

The royal sisters were many things, but they were not goddesses. Without their assistance, the sun and moon followed their natural course in the heavens. Celestia and Luna viewed their pursuit of pleasure as the body's natural course and they were determined to follow it; no matter the cost.

(twow and Derpy exchange looks)

twow: Ahem. WHAT?!

The sisters' descent into debauchery began more than one thousand years ago. They had trained many libertines during that time; one of their most recent accomplishments being their nephew, Blueblood.

Derpy: It’s THEIR fault that Blueblood’s a demented psycho?!

twow: I WILL SLAUGHTER THIS AUTHOR.

Once they had won him over to their cause, he soon eclipsed them by the sheer volume of his depravity. Others amongst the Canterlot elite were soon inducted into their little group.

twow: RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAA...

Derpy: twow! Calm yourself!

twow: (breathing deeply) I’ll try...

One reason why the royal sisters didn't force all ponies to live debaucherous lives is because the libertine views were unpopular with a majority of citizens. For the impoverished peasants of Equestria, chastity, morality and fidelity were still cherished concepts.

Derpy: Not at the rate Blueblood’s going.

 The citizens viewed ethics as one of the few things in life they had any control over. The sisters didn't broadcast their activities because they didn't want to deal with a revolution fueled by moral outrage.

twow: Hey, remember how everypony watched while Blueblood forced Twilight to suck Shining’s dick? NOBODY GAVE A FUCK.

Their nephew on the other hand, was growing out of control and becoming more open with his debaucherous acts. It had gotten to the point where rumors of his salacious cruelty had begun to spread throughout Equestria.

Derpy: Nopony’s gonna want to go to Canterlot.

twow: I sense inflation.

The public act of forced fellatio during a heretical burning was the height of his flagrant impropriety. It was as if his desire to satisfy his depraved lusts had displaced reason in his judgments.

twow: (glances though last chapters) Yup, that’s pretty much what’s happened.

The only thing stopping a full-blown revolution was the citizenry being too frightened to rise up against their betters, a weakness which Blueblood was only too happy to exploit.

twow: We’re breaking. I am not ready for this.

Derpy: Alright, twow.

twow: Just...what the fuck.

Derpy: I can’t believe that the princesses are not only OKAY with what’s been going on...

twow: ...it’s their fault.

Derpy: That was the only thing I thought would be RIGHT about this story.

twow: Well, it’s not. And now we have two insane goddesses and a sick bastard prince along with three other fuckheads in a room with six foals.

Derpy: I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

twow: If you want Derpy, I’ll figure out a way for yo-

Derpy: Not me twow. You.

twow: What about me?

Derpy: You aren’t holding this well. You almost broke during Pinkie’s and Applejack’s chapter. This story is hurting you.

twow: Well...

Derpy: twow, it’s me. Your oldest pony friend. You KNOW that you can trust me.

twow: It’s basically the same shit I’ve said before Derpy. I’m doing this to get past my memories.

Derpy: But it’s deeper than that, otherwise this wouldn’t grate at you so much.

twow: (sighs) Look Derpy. One of the real reasons I hated those chapters was because it reminded me of my little sisters. I’d do whatever to protect them, but what if I couldn't? And what if it was my fault?

Derpy: And...

twow: And the rape part, I know. I guess I wasn’t honest with you before. Yes,  I had a horrible incident in my past. And sometimes I still get haunted by those memories.

Derpy: (hugging twow) How about this? If you can complete this with me, I’ll give you a gift, alright?

twow: I mean, you don’t ha-

Derpy: No, I mean it. Please twow?

twow: Alright. Only because you and Fluttershy are nigh impossible to say no to.

Derpy: It’s a gift we have.

*BUZZ*

twow and Derpy: We’ve got story sign!

Blueblood commanded the children to stand at attention and face his aunts, which they did. Now that they were facing the other way, their buttocks were exposed before Blueblood and his friends. Their young rears would be the first thing examined.

twow: They make good pillows.

Any defect in this area was grounds for immediate dismissal. Blueblood and his friends went from child to child, handling, sniffing and spreading their bottoms, inspecting them for quality. The children whined in protest at the unwanted touching.

Derpy: “That’s reserved for spanking!”

twow: “Or use as pillows!”

 As the adults continued to scrutinize the children's sphincter, they were pleased to report that nothing seemed amiss.

twow: I mean, because you are all trained doctors and shit.

"We have to make sure you're healthy," Fleur said, compassionately as she deeply inhaled the scent of Featherweight's odious crack, "Once we're finished, we'll eat together."

To distract the children from the adult noses poking into their rears, Luna spoke with them about the philosophy of their movement.

Derpy: Oh, this I GOTTA hear.

twow: Nothing will make this right.

"We are a very exclusive group of libertines," Luna said to the children, "That means we are truly free; unencumbered by moral restraints, which are unnecessary and undesirable.

twow: As opposed to being tied down by NOT being a sick fuck.

 Ponies are physical beings, so 'tis only natural that the things of most value in life are pleasures derived through physical senses." Luna walked up to the children and said her next words slowly and sensually, as though she were vividly describing her last orgasm.

Derpy: Wut.

twow: I’ll get the recorder.

"Sight. Hearing. Smell. Taste. Mmmm... Touch," Luna said, erotically. She closed her eyes and arched her eyebrows, while biting her lip and letting out a sensual moan.

twow: Is...is she getting turned on by TALKING about it?!

Derpy: I had no idea the princess had such a hair trigger.

 Silver Spoon gave a squeak as Fleur dabbed her tongue against the filly's bunghole. All of the adults disregarded her whimpered pleas for mercy. Celestia smiled as Luna walked back beside her sister and continued her speech.

twow: If she rubbed soap on her tongue, only then would I believe that she’s helping her.

Derpy: Could we use acid instead?

"Whether ponies admit it or not, pleasure is the only intrinsic good," Luna said, "Our purpose is to maximize our levels of pleasure through decadent living. 'Tis our right and obligation to do everything within our power to achieve the greatest amount of pleasure possible."

Derpy: But only for yourselves.

twow: Pretty much, based on what we’ve seen so far.

 Her words were met with thunderous applause as Blueblood and his friends stomped their hooves in approval of Luna's words. She smiled and bowed her head.

twow: “While all the children plotted her death.”

Derpy: “Grab your torch and pitchforks!”

Once she had concluded her words, Luna stepped to the side, allowing Celestia to step forward. She glowered at the children as she unfurled her wings, causing the fillies and colts to flinch.

twow: “It’s so bright!”

By this point, Blueblood and his friends had finished inspecting the children's bottoms and had moved on to their genitalia. Knocking their young hind-hooves further apart allowed the libertines a better view of the children's private parts. None of the children were aroused, but Blueblood knew that would soon change.

twow and Derpy: No it won’t.

The adults began fondling the genitals of the fillies and colts.

Derpy: O_O

twow: Bad touch! Bad touch!

Filthy Rich rested his nose underneath Truffle Shuffle's tiny ball sack and sniffed at his scent. The stallion felt himself grow hard with anticipation at the thought of claiming the colt's chubby, virgin ass.

twow: Well, I have no respect for him.

Derpy: You had respect?!

"Please don't touch me there. You're making me feel funny," Truffle Shuffle said, as he shook with embarrassment, "I just wanted something to eat..."

twow: Damn it. Couldn’t think of a song.

Derpy: “If I only had a brain....”

twow: And no idea how the hell you think that fits here.

The adults poked and prodded at the children with their fore-hooves, causing the fillies and colts to wince and moan with discomfort. Celestia barked for them to be silent.

twow: “Now sit up!”

Derpy: “Roll over and beg!”

 Once the children were standing stock still, the princess of the sun talked with the children about their situation.

"Tonight's feast ye shalt soon partake in is but a sample of what awaits thee within these walls," Celestia said. "Ye are all feeble creatures destined solely for our pleasures." Diamond Tiara panicked as a strange hoof moved across her marehood and she cried out to her stepfather.

Derpy: I mean, at least she was honest?

twow: The ONE TIME anypony’s been honest so far...

"Daddy, I don't want to be here!" the filly cried, "Take me home!" Diamond Tiara looked over at her stepfather, who was standing behind a mortified Featherweight. The stallion had lowered his head and was using his mouth to suck on the colt's dirty balls.

twow: There isn’t enough Crest in the UNIVERSE.

Derpy: Dude! Use some mouthwash!

Diamond Tiara stared at her stepfather with disgust as Celestia walked over to her. The princess leaned in close and looked at the pink filly, who turned her head back towards Celestia and immediately began quaking in fear.

twow: Earthquake!

"I trust that thou hast not deluded thyself into supposing that the same considerations given thee in the outside world would be accorded to thee in this place," Celestia said to Diamond Tiara, "Thou art one thousand times more subjugated in here than thou wouldst be outside as a slave.

twow: Fucking Canterlot speech. It’s a trial enough suffering through this damn thing, but now I have to translate it?!

Derpy: You’re sitting next to a pony that’s an expert in five different languages. I got this.

Don't let thy stepfather's position in our inner circle embolden you. If thou hadst hoped for us to indulge thee with leniency on his account, thou wouldst be most gravely mistaken. No attachment by blood or marriage is sacred in the view of ponies like ourselves. The more cherished a relationship, the more our perversity will be stimulated upon seeing it ruptured."

Derpy: What.

twow: Damn it Derpy.

Most of the children were whimpering. They were too scared to move, being constantly groped and surrounded on all sides by salacious adults. The two sisters, whom the children regarded as the gods of this world, watched the molestation unfold with passive amusement.

twow: I’m surprised they aren’t gushing waterfalls. (smacked by Derpy)

"Ye must expect naught but humiliation," Celestia said, addressing the children, "Obedience is the one virtue welcome within these walls. No other one will befit thy present state."

Silver Spoon was used to obeying orders, having already spent years as a lowly servant. She resisted the urge to struggle as the libertines took turns groping her vagina.

Derpy: She’s a brave filly.

twow: I would have already bucked some teeth in.

 Silver Spoon only hoped that by acquiescing to their demands, she might be shown mercy and allowed to return home to her mother. Almost as if Celestia read her mind, the princess' next words dashed the filly's hopes.

Derpy: Did she really dash them?

twow: Course not. She threw them on the GROUND!!!!

"Above all, do not think to rely upon thy charms," Celestia said, "We are utterly indifferent to those snares. Bear in mind that we will make use of you all. Don't delude thyselves into imagining that ye will be able to inspire any feeling of pity in us. What sympathy will ye tender to us that we shall not grind beneath our hooves?"

twow: Well, how about the fact that they are FOALS?!?!

Derpy: I just wanna know how they got so twisted.

Scootaloo was the only one who had not yet completely succumbed to fear. Even amidst the unwanted poking and prodding of her marehood, she stood defiantly against her molesters. The filly had only an inkling of the horrors that awaited her,

twow: The sad part is, so do we.

Derpy: But we’re here for you twow.

 but she was determined to weather this storm, as she had weathered the many previous ones in her young life. Celestia saw a fire of resistance in her eyes, and gleefully looked forward to squelching it.

twow: With a HAMMER!

Derpy: “It’s brilliant, BRILLIANT I tell you!”

"It is useless to conceal thy fate from you," Celestia said, "Thy services shall be arduous, painful and rigorous, and the slightest infraction shall be handled immediately with strict punishments. Hence, we must recommend ye exercise prompt exactness, submissiveness, and complete self-denial, which will leave thee heeding naught but our desires.

twow: Can they even understand what she’s saying?

Derpy: They’re just smiling and nodding.

 Let them be thine only laws. Fly to do their bidding; anticipate them and cause them to come to terms. Not that you have much to gain by doing this. Do it simply because, by not observing it, ye shalt have a great deal more to lose."

twow: Remember that Bingo game I made?

Derpy: The one about everything Bronystories does in his fics?

twow: Yeah. I think we can start that now.

Derpy: Why is the free space “rape?”

twow: Because it’s GONNA happen.

Scootaloo had the boldness to stare into Celestia's eyes as she spoke. The other children cowered before the princess and flinched at the fondling of their genitals. Scootaloo remembered the pious nuns who loved and cared for her, as well as the other orphans.

twow: Alright, we got Crying. Anal bleeding. Incest. "Massive girth." "Unbridled lust." False hope. "Sphincter." Watersports. "Gaping" anything. Journal. Murder. Did I miss anything?

Derpy: Alliteration. Marehood. A few others.

She knew that they just needed to endure these afflictions a little longer until their guardians could come to their rescue. This hope was also dashed by the cruel tone of Celestia.

twow: Would that be counted as false hope?

Derpy: Nope. She’s been pretty clear about what’s gonna happen.

"The sooner you relinquish the notion of rescue, the sooner you can devote all thy thoughts and efforts to thy duties," Celestia said, "Ye are within the inner walls of Canterlot Castle, an impregnable fortress from which there is no escape. Nopony in Equestria can ever hope to find you in here. Ye are beyond the reach of thy friends and family.

Derpy: Unless somepony has a Deus ex.

twow: And uses it to castrate Blueblood.

 Insofar as the world is concerned, ye are already dead. Each breath you take from this point on is by our pleasure and for our pleasure only." At the mention of family, Silver Spoon began to sob for her mother, who she imagined even now, was worried sick over her missing daughter.

twow: Guess they ninja stole her.

Derpy: At least we know that she’s gonna live.

At this point, all the children's genitals had been thoroughly examined. The fillies and colts would not be using their privates for at least a month, but it was nevertheless important for the libertines to make sure that the children had serviceable equipment when the time came.

twow: I mean, that’s really important.

Derpy: Gotta be healthy.

As the fillies and colts stood there whimpering, Celestia informed the children of exactly who they were dealing with.

twow: Six fucked up assholes. That was easy.

"You mayest wonder what kind of ponies ye are now subject to," Celestia said, "My sister gave an excellent summation. Sufficient to say, we are libertines. Ponies known for their profound and recognized cruelty. We have no master but our carnal hungers.

twow: What about morals?

Derpy: They all involve sex. ALL of them.

No laws but our depravity. No care but for our debauchery. In short, we are immoral, unprincipled profligates and the least among us is guilty of more assaults on what is considered good and decent than ye couldst number."

twow: .........

Derpy: Ow, my brain. Did you understand anything she said.

twow: Not a word.

Pip's lip trembled. He thought back to the worst day of his life; the day when he watched as his parents' lifeless bodies were thrown overboard. The emotions he felt on that day paled in comparison to the sorrow he felt now. Celestia attempted to inspire the children with words of encouragement.

Derpy: This’ll be interesting.

twow: “Show no fear, young ones. At least you will be making somepony smile.”

"Show patience, submission, and courage," Celestia said, "Take comfort in the fact that we are not meant to exist forever in this world. The most fortunate fate that can befall a pony is to die young, before experience renders their past pleasures stale."

twow: I STILL have no damn idea what she said.

Derpy: If they’re lucky, the princesses will have a stroke.

Featherweight shook with fear. He reflected on the sacrifice of his father, who gave his own life to save his only son from the cave in. Featherweight would have preferred if the rocks had been allowed to crush him had he but known that this was to be his fate.

Derpy: Poor little tyke...

twow; Damn it! I HAD a song for this...

"In short, shudder, tremble, anticipate and obey," Celestia said, "Do all of this and if ye are very fortunate, perhaps ye will not be completely miserable. See that there be no plotting amongst you. No alliances formed. None of that ridiculous friendship between thee which is wholly unfitting for the simple humiliation to which ye are fated by us.

twow: I get it. They don’t want the magic of friendship getting in the way.

Derpy: Wouldn’t this trial bring them all closer together?

We regard thee not as ponies, but as lesser beasts that one feeds in return for their services, and which one withers with blows when they refuse to be put to use."

twow: I think they’d rather be Gone with the Wind.

With those words Celestia stepped down and Blueblood stood where she had been. He addressed his friends and his aunts, detailing the rules for the One Hundred and Twenty Days of Blueblood.

Derpy: Is this a yearly event?

"The Blue Moon Saturnalia is so named because it takes place under the thirteenth full moon of the year," Blueblood said, "It also marks one hundred and twenty days prior to my natal day.

twow: What, your birthday?

Derpy: Why didn’t you just say that then?

 As a build up to that annual celebration in April, tonight will begin the One Hundred and Twenty Days of Blueblood." The children stared at the prince as he explained their new duties to his friends.

twow: So rude.

Derpy: I know! If it’s the children that have to do it, then address them!

"The children shall perform as bidden, catering to my own likings and desires, as well as the likings and desires of my aunts and my friends," Blueblood said, "Intentionally, they shall not receive pleasure, but only give pleasure to us.

Derpy: Wouldn’t it be better if they enjoyed it as well?

twow: Remember the rape aspect...

Derpy: Right.

 Their asses shall remain untouched until they become knowledgeable in every form of debauchery; only then will their seals be broken. They ought not think that they can spare their behinds from our wrath by shirking their duties in servicing us. Any lack of progress will be met with immediate and acute punishment."

twow: How the hell are they gonna measure their progress?

Derpy: With a ruler!

twow: (facepalm)

As the prince continued speaking, servants entered the room, carting in table settings. The children watched as plates and bowls were set on the table. The servants, who dared not look at anypony, had learned to keep their eyes firmly on their work.

twow: “Why did I glue my eyes to this plate?!”

"Nopony, whether male or female, shall be allowed to practice any sort of cleanliness, but must reek in their own filth," Blueblood said, "It is also strictly forbidden for a child to relieve themselves anywhere save in a specific room, which has been outfitted and intended for this purpose and all are forbidden to go there without individual and special permission, which shall often be refused."

Derpy: Wut.

twow: So...them being dirty is a turn-on? Okay.

 The mentioning of bathrooms made Truffle Shuffle realize that he needed to relieve himself as his intestines churned.

twow and Derpy: TIMING!

"At the start of each morning, all the children's rooms will be searched," Blueblood said, "If evidence is found that a child has relieved themselves in the night, the delinquent shall be condemned to suffer the penalty of death." The chubby colt's eyes went wide and he crossed his hind legs, determined to hold it in for as long as necessary.

twow: Hey Blueblood, these are foals. They have small bladders. How the FUCK do you think they are gonna be able to hold it in?!

Derpy: Uh, maybe they have to drink it?

twow: I just barfed in my mouth Derpy.

"After breakfast, all youth are to pair off with a libertine and cater to their every carnal desire until a respite occurs in the form of the evening meal," Blueblood said, "At the conclusion of the meal, all shall pass into the salon for the orgies. The salon shall be heated to an unusually high temperature, and illuminated by chandeliers.

twow: “Those chandeliers better NOT BE DIRTY.”

Derpy: “And everypony bring extra toothpaste!”

 Everything shall be in disarray and everyone shall be sprawled on the floor and shall change, commingle, entwine, couple incestuously, adulterously and sodomistically." Fleur kissed Fancy Pants on the cheek as he rubbed her thigh anxiously with his fore-hoof.

twow: How’s the incest part gonna...oops.

Derpy: Princesses twow. Remember that.

twow: It’s gonna be on the test. Right.

"Unless otherwise stated, the deflowering of the children shall be at all times banned," Blueblood said, "That being the sole exception, all participants are encouraged to surrender themselves to every excess and debauchery imaginable.

Derpy: You need to add “OOC” to this Bingo board twow.

twow: I’ll make a note.

When the time for said deflowerings occurs, it shall be at the moment and in the circumstances that those operations are to be performed. Once a child has been fully initiated, they shall be made available for every enjoyment, in all manners and at all times.

twow: What, are there time limits?

 The orgies shall cease at precisely two in the morning and all shall retire to bed. Such shall be the daily order of procedures."

Derpy: That’s assuming the foals haven’t passed out already.

twow: They’ll keep going. I have no doubt in that.

At the conclusion of these remarks, the servants finished setting the plates and had moved on to placing cups and punch bowls on the table. The children noticed that everything was empty, but were soon distracted from that as Blueblood addressed them again.

twow: They gotta bring the food out first.

"Should any child in some way refuse anything demanded of them, even when incapacitated or when said thing is impossible, they shall be punished with utmost severity," Blueblood said, "It is the child's responsibility to find the ways and means to fulfill any desire, no matter how irrational."

Derpy: “I want that orange one to fly upside down while surfing on a thundercloud.”

Scootaloo's heart pounded in her chest as she tried in vain to formulate a plan of escape. The looming horror of the degradation that awaited them was preventing her from formulating ideas.

"Any evidence of disrespect or lack of submission by a child during the debaucherous activities, shall be esteemed as one of the gravest of faults and shall be one of the most cruelly punished,"

twow: “You shall get raped MORE!” (smacked by Derpy)

Derpy: That’s awful!

twow: But it’s true.

Blueblood said, "All are encouraged to employ none but the most lascivious language and remarks indicative of the greatest debauchery. Make frequent use of filthiest, the most harsh, and the most profane of expressions.

twow: “Make sure to use the word “poopy-head” all the time.”

Derpy: “Also, “dum-dum” is a good one.”

 Anypony who fails to comply with any one of these rules, or who decides to act in accordance with a single glimmer of common sense or moderation and above all to spend a single day without retiring dead drunk to bed, shall be severely chastised." Blueblood's friends let out a united cry of "hear, hear!"

Derpy: Do the FOALS have to be drunk as well?

twow: They aren’t gonna have livers at the end of this.

Having finished his address Blueblood stepped back and Princess Luna stepped forward to express her insistence that the children follow these rules.

"The instructions ye hath just heard are very wise and well-designed for thy safety and for our pleasures," Luna said,

twow: “Actually, I’m going to call lying on that.”

Derpy: At least the first part.

"Obey them blindly, and expect the worst from us should we be irritated by thy misbehavior." Seeing that all the table settings were in place, Celestia addressed the children.

twow: Geez. Are they gonna EAT now?!

Derpy: I just want this all to end.

"Now that ye hath been instructed on how to conduct thyself, we may now commence the Blue Moon Saturnalia feast!" Celestia said, excitedly. She then instructed the children to each take a seat at the crescent-shaped table. They did so reluctantly, as their young minds were still trying in vain to process and make sense of what was happening to them.

twow: And trying to understand what the FUCK she was saying.

Derpy: It’s not that hard twow!

twow: Says the pony that is fluent in GIBBERISH.

Blueblood's friends took their seats at the libertine's table, while Blueblood, Celestia and Luna stood in between the two tables and surveyed all the empty dishes. Celestia walked over to the children's table.

twow: Wait, they didn’t serve the food yet.

Derpy: She’s probably telling them about table manners.

"As new guests, 'tis only right for ye to sample the feast first," Celestia said, "I believe this colt was the most desirous to eat, so he shalt be tended to first." Celestia walked up to Truffle Shuffle and smiled, before turning around quickly. She lifted her tail and exposed her ass to him. The colt stared at Celestia's privates and blushed.

twow: Whoa there princess! Getting frisky already?

Derpy: At least serve the punch first!

"Dinner is served!" Celestia shouted, as a loud fart spluttered from her ass. The smell of her gas soon permeated throughout the room.

twow: Not enough Glade in the world.

 The fumes caused the children to wretch and their eyes to water. The adults joyfully inhaled the princess' noxious aroma. Having grown familiar with her stench of her feces, the rancid smell was arousing to the libertines.

Derpy: That... is a new one.

twow: I don’t even...WHAT?!

A dark brown turd began to crown, before slipping out of Celestia's rectum and landing with a plop onto Truffle Shuffle's plate. All the children stared at Celestia's soft and lumpy shit with disgust. Suddenly, they became distracted from the grotesque display by the sound of sloshing liquid.

twow and Derpy: ..........................................

Derpy: I’m...just...gonna...check that off...

 The children turned their heads and watched as Luna had her back to a formerly-empty punch bowl and was happily filling it with her piss.

twow: Don’t forget the lemons.

"Fret not, little children," Luna said, "We shalt soon quench thy thirst!" When the punch bowl was filled to the brim with her hot urine, Luna levitated each of the children's glasses over and filled them up. The cups were returned, filled with her dark golden liquid.

Derpy: Ew.

twow: Luna, you need more water in your diet.

Scootaloo stared horrified at what she was witnessing. She realized that the adults here were completely mad.

twow: Ya just NOW figured that out?!

 Scootaloo knew that she and all the other children were going to die here unless they figured out a plan of escape.

Celestia moved in front of each child in turn, shitting out their dinner. A disgusting blast of flatulence preceded the emergence of each new bowel movement.

twow: I guess she was really move...i can’t.

Derpy: (hugging twow) It’s okay...

Celestia's alabaster face grew red as she excreted wet turds onto the various plates. None of the children dared sample their nauseating meal. Once she had provided her waste for all the children, she turned to watch them consume it.

Derpy: .........................

twow: And I thought this couldn’t get fucking worse.

Derpy: But.....they’re foals. And the princesses....

twow: We’re stopping. Right the fuck NOW.

Pinkie: (from TV) twow, I had no idea....

twow: What the FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Derpy: I thought the whole story was just gonna be about messed up raping, but not THIS!

twow: This story has sunk to an all time low. Now only are they going to torture foals, but their....grrrrrrrr...

Derpy: twow, calm down! It’s not healthy to get so mad!

twow: You can’t blame me Derpy! What if it was Dinky in there?

Derpy: They would never find the bodies.

twow: EXACTLY.

(A banging and crash is heard from the other side of the TV)

twow: What the...Pinkie, what’s going on?

Pinkie: Uh...oh! Hi Steel!

Steel: (Comes on screen, sitting down by Pinkie with his eyes blindfolded.) You have no idea how hard it was to get here. Twow, bud, you hangin’ in there?

twow: Nope.

Derpy: This chapter hit him really hard.

Steel: Chapter 5, right? Went through all 9 beforehand. Given my threat earlier, decided to drop by with a blindfold. If I don’t see him, I won’t severely injure him.

twow: He SHOULD be in there I thought, Pinkie?

Pinkie: He left. I have no idea why.

Steel: Probably heard me coming. Oh, Twow, I’ve got a question actually... where’s Fallen’s armory?

twow: Around Sugarcube Corner, why?

Steel: Preparing for the future. You’ll make it through this, twow, and I’ve got the exact reason why.

twow: And that reason is?

Derpy: And it better not be the Reason.

Steel: Well, recently, all I’ve been eating is veg and fruit. Not good. But you know... (Steel grins with quite a sinister expression) I’ve never tried pony before. So I need access to a few weapons... and we’ll all go hunting, eh?

Pinkie and Derpy: STEEL!

twow: That’s funny as all hell.

Steel: Ears, ladies, ears! Ow... (Rubs his ear from being right next to Pinkie.)

Derpy: You’re kidding, right?

Steel: When it comes to Blueblood? I wanna say yes, but after reading this story, I’m on the fence. And by God, I’m hungry. But anyone else? I’m friends with most of you, how could I eat you?

twow: I already want to throw a lot of sharp objects at him.

Derpy: You two are insane.

Steel: When you serve in the Explorers, it’s a needed trait.

twow: True. I think we should be able to get through this now. Thank you Steel.

Steel: No problem. Oh, and whenever you’re reading this story, just imagine Blueblood hornless, wingless, and at your complete mercy. Trust me, it helps a lot.

twow: I don’t have to. He’s gonna be like that after we get out of here. Let’s get back to it Derpy.

Derpy: Okay. I got my Bingo sheet.

*BUZZ*

twow and Derpy: We’ve got story sign!

"Eat up," Celestia commanded. The children whimpered, but didn't approach their food.

twow: I WONDER WHY.

 Celestia was losing her temper.

"THOU SHALT EAT MY SHIT!" Celestia shouted angrily, invoking the Royal Canterlot Voice, which caused the windows and light fixtures to rattle.

(twow and Derpy exchange glances, then bust up laughing)

Derpy: I imagined her really saying that!

twow: I can’t EVEN!

With extreme reluctance, the children leaned forward and timidly nibbled at the fecal slop. Celestia felt her marehood grow moist as she tried to imagine the revulsion the children were experiencing as they feasted on her piping-hot shit. She was so desensitized by her libertine lifestyle, that she could scarcely remember what utter disgust felt like anymore.

twow: Don’t worry. We can do it for you.

Derpy: Yes! I got marehood!

Featherweight sampled Celestia's mushy stool with fear and trembling. He took a small bite into his mouth and started to chew.  It had a chunky texture with the consistency of porridge and somehow managed to taste worse than it smelled, which the colt would have assumed was a physical impossibility.

twow: I can say that I believe that.

Derpy: (barfs)

twow: And I was expecting that.

The shit molested the children's tongues in a more thorough and humiliating way than their recent genital molestation.

One bite of the foul manure was enough to make Truffle Shuffle want to vomit, but he feared what would happen to him if he did. Reluctantly, he swallowed, sending the shit down towards his unwilling stomach.

Derpy: That can NOT be healthy.

twow: Sure it is! If they wanna be sick for a long time..

Derpy: Do you know that for a fact?

twow: Disprove that.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were no longer master and servant, but equals in the eyes of the libertines. The two fillies sobbed as they forced themselves to consume Celestia's royal waste. The shit had stained their lips brown and traces of her scat coated their teeth.

twow: Toothpaste of the future.

Derpy: And it’s all natural!

Pip grabbed his cup with no regard for the origin of its contents and drank from it deeply, hoping desperately to wash the taste of shit from his mouth. Luna's hot piss washed over his tongue and he swallowed her acrid urine until his cup was completely drained. The colt shuddered in revulsion as he set his empty cup down and stared fearfully at the rest of his meal.

twow: Alright, I got “piss” and “scat.”

Derpy: So did I!

twow: Did I give you the lucky board or does this universe just hate me?

The libertines sat with empty plates and were fully entertained as they watched the children struggle to finish their fecal feast.

twow: Yes! Alliteration!

Derpy: Awwwww.

Eager to feed her nephew's friends, Luna walked over to the seated libertines and hiked her tail up. The three ponies stared in reverent awe at the princess of the night's puckered shithole.

Derpy: “Shield your eyes! It’s a black hole!”

 Over the course of decades of debauchery, all the libertines in Canterlot had developed a taste for scat and were eager to consume Luna's tish.

"We shalt nourish thee with our waste!" Luna said, as she strained to produce a meal for the libertines. She unclenched her anus while standing over Fleur's plate.

twow: Um. I got nothing.

Derpy: She better be careful, or she’s gonna get it all over her face.

 Fleur couldn't wait to sample her meal and leaned forward, placing her lips around the source. The princess cooed as she felt the mare give her a rimjob.

twow: “Damn it! Stop hitting the backboard!”

"We thank thee for thy skilled tongue," Luna said, "Now enjoy the fruits of thy labor!"

Fleur felt a turd press against her tongue as it spread Luna's rectal walls. Pulling her tongue out, Fleur licked around the princess' anal ring as the large log began to slide out. Fleur started licking the shit as it crowned, savoring its rancid taste and breathing in its unholy stench.

Derpy: Well, it got the unholy part right.

twow: Downright diabolical.

 When a couple inches were poking out of Luna's sphincter, Fleur put her mouth over the turd and bit it off, chewing and swallowing it happily. Luna squeezed out the remainder of the bitten log, allowing it to land on Fleur's plate for her to finish.

twow: BLUH.

Derpy: It’s like a Toostie Roll!

twow: Now I can never eat those again. Thanks for that.

The mare leaned forward and kissed Luna's shit-covered asshole. The princess was so startled by this that she let loose with a wet fart that filled Fleur's nostrils and stung her eyes. Fancy Pants and Filthy Rich both chuckled as the mare gagged and gasped for breath.

twow: Oh yeah. That’s funny.

Derpy: (mumbling) Dang, I don’t have farting...

Moving next to Fancy Pants, Luna groaned as she released an enormous log onto the stallion's plate. The long segment of shit stretched Luna's asshole wide on its way out. The girth and length of her turd would cause any stallion's member to appear inferior by comparison. The shaft of smelly shit shattered Fancy Pants' plate as it landed with a thud on the table.

twow: What the hell did she EAT?!

Derpy: And that use of alliteration makes me sad, because I don’t have that one.

Fleur and Filthy Rich began to happily consume the royal refuse. Luna's firmly-packed shit sent shivers of perverse pleasure up the spines of the mare and stallion.

While Luna shat out Filthy Rich's dinner, Celestia pissed into a punchbowl to provide the libertines with drinks. Filthy Rich immediately drained his cup when it was returned to him and asked for a refill, which Celestia was only too happy to oblige.

twow: She still had piss to spare?

Derpy: They must have bottomless bladders.

No sooner had Celestia returned Filthy Rich's cup with a refill, when Prince Blueblood placed his mouth over her asshole. Knowing what her nephew desired, she squeezed her liquidy shit into his mouth, which filled his cheeks. The prince kept his mouth closed, allowing the taste and texture to cover his tongue.

twow: (barfs)

Derpy: Not even YOU can keep this up, oh great twow.

twow: Shut up Derpy.

Walking over to Luna, Blueblood kissed her open-mouthed. He used his tongue to slide Celestia's shit from his mouth to hers. She gagged slightly as the runny waste flowed into her mouth, while small traces dribbled down her chin.

twow: And...we have incest. I have that one.

Derpy: So do I, but I need vomiting to win.

Once she had managed to take her sister's mushy shit inside her mouth, Luna trotted over to Celestia and kissed her. Celestia's body tingled as her slimy, brown excrement slid past her lips. This waste had traveled in two different mouths before returning to its creator. When her mouth was filled with her own shit, Celestia sloshed it around happily, before swallowing it.

twow: Mouthwash of the future. I just said that.

Derpy: Ya know, I don’t have to go to the bathroom anymore.

The royal family stood in the middle of the dining room and watched as equally sickening events unfolded around them. The children were all crying as they forced themselves to swallow the last of Celestia's shit. Their faces were all green and several looked as though they were on the verge of vomiting.

Derpy: Vomit! Vomit!

twow: You’re really calling for a bunch of kids to barf up shit.

Derpy: Is it bad that I really want to win this Bingo game?

twow: Tiny bit.

The three libertines on the other end of the room were enjoying themselves much more. They were happily devouring Luna's shit and drinking Celestia's piss. Fancy Pants dribbled some of his drink down his front, staining part of his white coat yellow.

twow: Like a dandelion.

Derpy: It’s not gonna bloom.

 Fleur had a big, brown ring of shit coating her mouth, which she licked away with her tongue. Filthy Rich, who enjoyed well seasoned food, decided to add his own special sauce to his meal. The stallion lifted himself up on the table with one fore-hoof, while his other fore-hoof stroked his member.

twow: “Gotta get some mayo up in this bitch!”

 The stallion groaned as he came on Luna's shit. He then lifted up the foul-smelling, semen-coated turd and put it in his mouth. Watching a stallion cum on her bodily waste before eating it gave Luna an idea.

Derpy: “It involved a banana.”

"Nephew," Luna said to Blueblood, "Wouldst thou do us the honor of preparing 'Foals on a Boat' for us?" Blueblood smiled and said he would do anything for his aunts.

twow: So if they came in here and asked you to die, would you do it?

Derpy: I’m down with that.

Blueblood levitated an empty punch bowl and stood above it. He filled a punch bowl with his piss before turning around and shitting into it. One long, brown turd splashed into the bowl, sloshing urine onto the stone floor. His aunts stared at their nephew's shit as it floated on top of a foamy sea of warm stallion piss

twow: It’s the S.S.Excrement.

. Blueblood then sat on his haunches over her bowl and began to stroke his stallionhood. Taking careful aim, Blueblood ejaculated so that his semen landed on top of his floating turd.

"There you have it!" Blueblood said proudly, "Foals on a Boat!"

Derpy: Uh, okay?

twow: Apparently he doesn’t react when he cums. I know that I wouldn’t have been        able to aim that shit.

Luna licked her lips as she used her magic to levitate the cum-drizzled turd out of the bowl. The soaked log dripped urine onto the floor as Luna kept it suspended before her face.

"Wouldst thou deign to join us in sampling our nephew's salty repast?" Luna asked her sister. Celestia replied that she would with an eager grin.

twow: They needed their daily sodium intake.

Derpy: And Vitamin C!

The two princesses opened their lips and slid their mouths around one end of the turd until they met in the middle. The sisters kissed as they swirled the shit around on each other’s tongues. Blueblood's cum stuck to the roof of their mouths like peanut butter.

twow: Annnnnd, now I won’t be eating that either. Damn it.

Derpy: You can still eat jelly!

 The alicorns happily chewed the mixture of their nephew's shit, piss and cum. Finally, they swallowed their mushy meal, before they resumed kissing.

Having miraculously finished their meals without vomiting, the children sat in their seats, panting and shaking from revulsion.

Derpy: Wow. Why did the story want to focus on the adults again?

twow: No clue. But those are some strong ass fillies.

Celestia broke her kiss with her sister and walked over to Scootaloo. The orange pegasus stared straight ahead, unable to focus on anything. The filly had mentally-withdrawn from what she was eating and simply forced herself to finish her fecal food in a desperate attempt to save her sanity. Her lower lip quivered and her whole body convulsed as it struggled to keep her meal down.

twow: I would have barfed. No contest.

Derpy: Well, you already HAVE.

twow: True.

Celestia leaned in close and used her tongue to lick a stray piece of her shit that clung stubbornly to Scootaloo's cheek. The filly scarcely acknowledged the Princess' presence, as she was too traumatized to react to anything at the moment.

Derpy: What would have she done anyway? Start singing a song?

twow: “It’s so great to be a-” (smacked by Derpy)

Derpy: Stop that.

Fleur licked her plate clean of any shit that remained. Fancy Pants was only able to finish half of the titanic tish produced by Luna. Wanting to find a use for it, the stallion levitated the remaining shit with his magic and shoved it down until is covered the first half of his member. Fancy Pants sat on his haunches as he screwed Luna's shit.

Derpy: WUT.

twow: That’s...all natural lube! Waste not, want not.

 The fudge-like texture of her waste felt glorious as it massaged his dick. Fancy Pants moaned loudly as he came inside the turd. When he pulled out, the stallion left a deep hole in the center of Luna's log.

twow: Remember that Derpy. It’ll be on the test.

Derpy: (holding a pen) Got it!

Even though he was already quite full from finishing his own meal, Filthy Rich couldn't pass up an opportunity to sample some cum-filled crap. He asked Fancy Pants if he was planning to finish his food. The gentlecolt graciously offered the rest of his meal to his friend.

twow: What a guy.

Derpy: I know! He even politely used alliteration!

 Filthy Rich took the turd greedily into his mouth and sucked out Fancy Pants' semen along with any errant clumps of loose shit that became caught in the flow.

Once Filthy Rich had swallowed all of Fancy Pants' discharge, the businesscolt ate the remainder of Luna's log in three large bites.

Derpy: That’s not safe! You’re gonna have splinters all in your mouth!

twow: (facepalm 2X combo)

When everypony had cleaned their plates, Blueblood commanded the children to stand. They did so wearily and slowly shuffled their feet to stand in line. None of them dared to speak or make any kind of noise, lest opening their mouths serve as a tempting exit for their recent meal.

twow: I doubt they have the capacity to think right now.

Derpy: Being scared for life and all that.

In spite of not talking, the children made a small symphony of guttural sounds. Their stomachs churned and rumbled in protest upon receiving such a worthless and potentially harmful meal. They resisted their natural urge to vomit up the shit they had consumed and instead teetered miserably where they stood.

Derpy: BINGO!

twow: That doesn’t count!

Derpy: But they ALMOST barfed!

twow: ...fine.

Blueblood was simultaneously impressed and disappointed that the children had managed to keep Celestia's shit down. One of the most enjoyable aspects from previous years was watching the children finish their meal, only to vomit it back up.

twow: I have half a mind to take back that win...

Derpy: But you won’t because you like me and I’m so adorable!

twow: That’s not even FAIR...

 When that happened, a second child would be commanded to lick all of the first child's vomit off of the floor. This often resulted in the second child puking, perpetuating the cycle until everypony's vomit was swallowed by somepony else.

twow: Who knows how long that would take?

Derpy: “Whoa! You had blue stuff come up! I call that pile!”

Fancy Pants, Filthy Rich and Fleur led the children out of the dining room and into their new living quarters in the recently cleaned dungeons below the castle. Prince Blueblood stood beaming beside his aunts as he watched the children leave. He knew that tomorrow the real fun would commence.

twow: “Tomorrow, we will break out the cream soda!”

Derpy: “And remember, it’s all natural!”

"So it begins," Blueblood said joyfully, "The start of another One Hundred and Twenty Days of

Blueblood!"

twow: “Bring all of your condoms!”

Derpy: Come on twow, we’re done here.

twow: But...

Derpy: No. Let’s go.

Pinkie: (from TV) I hate to ask, but are you okay?

twow: No. That was the worst. I really didn’t think it could have gotten THAT bad.

Derpy: Neither did I. And we’ve read some sick stuff together.

twow: Yeah...

Steel: You know what they say about being blind and all the senses being heightened as a result? (Turning a bit green) I really wish that wasn’t true... augh, that smell’s just sick.

Blueblood: (from TV) So, how was this chapter?

twow: Where in the mother of FUCK was your ass?!

Blueblood: I had to prepare for a future chapter.

Derpy: You are horrible, you know that?! How could you do this to us?!

Blueblood: I really grow tired of explaining myself over and over.

twow: It doesn’t matter. I already have plans to brutally eviscerate you after this.

Blueblood: With what?

twow: A butter knife.

Blueblood: .....

Pinkie: Derpy, you can go now. I’m sorry about that.

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

Derpy: (hugging twow) Stay strong twow. You’ve passed the halfway point.

twow: I’ll try. Promise.

(Derpy gives twow a final squeeze and leaves, the doors shutting behind her.)

Steel: 4 chapters to go, man. The light’s in sight.

twow: I know. This doesn’t get any easier though. If you don’t mind, I need to rest for a while.

Steel: No problem. I’ll be in here if y’need me. And Blueblood? If you wouldn’t mind moving to the next room, my hearing’s pretty good and I’ve got a lead pipe off hand... and one hell of a back swing.

twow: Pinkie, try to keep any murder from taking place, please?

Pinkie: I will twow. Get some rest.

*BUZZ*

twow: I’ve got break sign!

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 6

Chapter 6 guys. “The Bath.”

This might be the only chapter that I have a vague idea of, because when the Musketeers started to riff this story, I had looked ahead. Granted, I could be wrong now, which is why I once again have not read though the chapter. I don’t really want to try and guess either, but I do know that the princesses are a main point.

So, let’s get started. 120 Days of Blueblood, chapter 6.

twow: (leaning in chair with a water bottle) Damn, I thought this would work...

Pinkie: (from TV) What’s that T?

twow: A special mixture that I’ve been working on. It’s supposed to erase your current memories and teleport you somewhere. But as you can see, it’s not working.

Blueblood: Of course not. You still have a story to go though.

twow: I hate you. Did you know that?

Pinkie: Oh, and T?

twow Yeah?

Steel: I would walk foive hundred moiles, an’ I would walk five hundred moor, jus’ t’ BE the man who walked a thousand miles, to fall down at your door... (Chugs from a bottle of alcohol as he dances about the room behind the TV.) This shtuff’s GREAT!

Pinkie: I don’t think Steel’s doing too well.

twow: If I hadn’t promised myself to never drink or smoke and if I was over 21, I would be ALL OVER that shit. I could make it in here.

Steel: (Collapses with the bottle still in his mouth, chuckling like an idiot. The blindfold is tied like a bandana on his forehead now, but his eyes don’t seem too useful with them spinning about in his head.) Gurgle gurgle...

Pinkie: Steel! (runs to check on him)

Blueblood: Well. Anyway, I believe that you need to begin the next chapter, and I brought the perfect pony.

twow: Who would that be?

(A dark blue swirling mist dances in the center of the room before revealing Princess Luna.)

twow: Princess!

Luna: (hugging twow) It is great to see you, twow. My nephew told me that you needed help with a story.

twow: Is that ALL he said? That mother-

Blueblood: I’m glad that you could make it Auntie.

twow: ...I’m going to get you for this.

Luna: What does this story entail?

twow: You and Celestia being okay with Blueblood murdering four of the Elements of Harmony and recently forcing six foals to eat your shit and drink your piss.

Luna: ...one of those stories?

twow: You have NO idea.

*BUZZ*

twow and Luna: We’ve got story sign!

"Do not regret growing older.  It is a privilege denied to many."  —Author Unknown

twow: Ten ponies can attest to that.

Luna: Those would be...

twow: Rarity’s family, Twilight and Shining, Pinkie and Applejack’s family.

Steel (TV): ELEVEN! IZ, IZ ELEVEN. Oh Godz, m’ liver... (BURRRRP)

twow: Damn. Pinkie’s foal.

Celestia and Luna watched the children as they left the room. The fillies and colts moaned from the pain in their stomachs as they slowly shuffled their hooves down the winding staircase. Blueblood's friends talked amongst themselves as they led the children to their new living quarters in the dungeons.

twow: Those JUST got cleaned too!

Luna: Truly, they will be living in paradise.

The two sisters took perverse joy as they inhaled the stench of the dining room. The chamber smelled like a used chamberpot, with the strong odor of the princesses' bodily functions lingering in the air.

Luna: So...it smelled like a toilet?

twow: I can only make the Glade joke so many times...

Celestia and Luna were both sweaty and smelly. Their chins and necks were stained with liquidy shit. Luna cooed as Celestia leaned in close and ran her tongue up her sister's sweaty neck to clean the filthy brown stains off of her.

twow: What are you, a cat?

Luna: “Meow.”

twow: HGN.

Pinkie: (from TV) I think you made him pass out from the cute, Princess!

 Luna returned the favor by cleaning her sister's neck and chin, before kissing her on the lips.

Luna: What.

twow: Did I not mention the incest part? Sorry.

When they broke their kiss, Blueblood was standing at the door, staring at them. He smiled at his aunts before turning to leave. There was still much work to be done and Blueblood wanted to make time to write in his journal.

twow: Got that one!

Luna: Oh, we’re playing Bingo?

twow: Yup, that’s what the boards are for. Derpy beat me last time.

Celestia and Luna were now by themselves. They stared at the empty tables and lamented over the finished feast which they had looked forward to for so long. Luna let out a melancholy sigh.

Luna: My board doesn’t have incest, but it does have “shit”. Should I put a chip?

twow: Well, go ahead.

"We always feel empty inside once the Blue Moon Saturnalia is over," Luna said, wistfully. Her comment regarding emptiness reflected more than just her empty bowels and released bladder. The hollow feeling she had was emotional as well as physical.

twow: “I just hate not being able to force children to eat my shit.”

Luna: “Better round up some peasants.

"Then we shalt do something to lift thy spirits, sister," Celestia said. The two princesses looked at each other and smiled, sensing each other's thoughts.

"A bath!" they exclaimed in unison.

Luna: Bubble bath?

twow: ...wha-

Luna: BUBBLE BATH?!

twow: Oookay then...

The cleanliness ban imposed as part of the One Hundred and Twenty Days of Blueblood only extended to the children.

twow: God knows why.

 In spite of the fact that they were rarely seen by their subjects, Celestia and Luna enjoyed maintaining a certain standard of hygiene. This is one reason why they took a bath once a month, whether they felt it was needed or not.

twow: Once a MONTH? My mom would get on me if I missed a DAY.

 In Celestia and Luna's royal bathroom, two earth pony servants were heating the water for the royal bath. The twin sisters had immigrated from a small, foreign country in search of work and were promptly hired to fill recent vacancies.

Luna: For what position?

twow: “Pony to die in this chapter.” Warning, might be fatal.

One of the sisters had a sky blue mane with a pink coat, while the other had a pink mane with a sky blue coat. The pink pony could only speak in her native tongue. Fortunately, her sister had learned to communicate in the Canterlot language.

twow: That would be the spa sisters. Aloe and Lotus, I believe.

They bowed as Celestia and Luna entered the bath chamber.

"вітати принцес," the pink pony said, in the language of her village.

twow: Where’s Derpy when ya need her?

Luna: She said, “Hello princesses.”

twow: Right. Moon princess. I’m smart.

"Welcome, princesses," the blue pony said, with a thick accent as she translated her sister's sentiments.

twow: Not accurate.

Luna: It’s hard to translate!

A large fireplace was located at the far side of the room, upon which the servants had been heating large kettles of water for the princesses' baths. Above the mantle was a large painting of Celestia and Luna flying through the vast starry expanse of space while dragging the sun and moon, respectively.

twow: Hey. That last chapter made that not true!

Luna: What?

twow: Wait, no. That was the chapter that Twilight died in.

 The center of the painting depicted their world as a cold and lifeless disc before the royal sisters came to power.

Nopony could remember a time before Celestia and Luna ruled Equestria. They had kept their power for generations, while remaining perpetually young and beautiful.

Luna: There’s this small thing about us being alicorns...

twow: Don’t logic the story. It hurts.

 Not even Blueblood understood how his 'aunts' had managed to live so long while appearing to never age. It was a question he decided long ago was best left unasked.

twow: Well when you think about it, does it really matter?

Luna: I think that we are about to find out.

The servants who tended to their baths were unaware of Celestia or Luna's libertine lifestyle.The twins viewed the princesses as Goddesses and felt it was their sacred duty to wash and care for them.

twow: Deadbeats. Can’t even wash themselves.

Luna: This story is mocking us!

In the center of the chamber were two large bathtubs, placed parallel to each other. The tubs had four copper feet, which were styled to look like griffin claws clutching an orb.

twow: He had the Gem of Immortality.

 One end of the tubs had a higher lip that faced the fireplace, allowing the princesses to rest their heads while looking out the window as they bathed.

twow: That’s some fancy shit right there.

Luna: Perhaps I should give Tia the idea...

It was night, so the massive red curtains had been drawn over the large windows. The yellow light in the room was generated from the fireplace, as well as several thick red candles, which were fixed atop long, black candlesticks that were arranged around the tubs.

Luna: That...is a lot of candles?

twow: “That’s a lot of fish.”

Steel (TV): THAT’S A LOTTA- (BURP) -NUTS!

While waiting for the water to finish heating, Celestia and Luna sat on large pillows as their servants anointed them with oil. The twins dipped their hair in basins of oil and dabbed it on Celestia and Luna's hooves. The blue pony tended to Celestia while the pink pony cared for Luna.

twow: Bathing and a spa treatment.

Luna: That is my kind of party.

The precious oil was made from a blend of oranges, jasmine, distilled roses and distilled cinnamon. The strong and pleasing smell helped to mask the rank odor of the princesses' bodily functions.

Luna: (gags)

twow: It’s better than Blueblood’s Elixir of Life.

Once their hooves had been cleaned, Celestia and Luna closed their eyes as their servants poured the rest of the oil onto the princesses' manes and down their backs. The royal sisters shuddered as the cool oil slid down their spines.

twow: “Ahh! It burns!”

Using ornate, jewel-encrusted brushes, the servants began to brush Celestia and Luna's tail and mane. Celestia commended her servant for doing an excellent job and complimented her appearance.

"You and your sister are quite beautiful," Celestia said to her servant as the blue pony continued brushing.

Luna: If this turns into sex, please tell me that it’s willing.

twow: It’s cute how you think the rape train ever had brakes.

"Thank you, princess," the servant replied, blushing. Luna glanced over at her sister, trying to gauge her expression. This was futile, as Celestia's face remained passive and vague.

twow: Like a rock.

Luna: Or the dark side of the moon.

"And what of thy princess?" Celestia asked calmly as she arched her eyebrows while keeping her eyes closed, "Are we not beautiful as well?" Not wanting to hesitate with a response, the servant answered the question immediately.

"Oh yes, of course!" the blue pony said, emphatically, "Your wings are so pretty."

twow: “And your horn is so...sharp?”

Luna: Don’t forget the eyes.

twow: “THE EYES.”

Steel (TV): MY EYYYYES! AGH, GOT ALCOHOL IN THEM!

"They are, aren't they?" Celestia said, smiling, "Have you ever wished to know the secret of our eternal youth and beauty?" The servant blushed; thinking that such knowledge was beyond her mortal powers of comprehension.

twow: You aren’t stupid Aloe. You can think.

 Celestia opened her eyes and glanced back towards the blue mare without turning her head.

Luna: So my sister really DOES have eyes in the back of her head.

twow: (shudders)

"That would be an honor, princess," Celestia's servant said, as she set the brush down. The blue mare dared not press the issue, lest she seem too eager. Secretly, she hoped that Celestia might impart upon her and her sister the secret to eternal life as a reward for their service.

twow: (laughing)

Luna: What is so funny?

twow: They think that Celestia would be kind!

The steam rising from the large kettles indicated that the princesses' bath water was ready. The servants excused themselves from Celestia and Luna's presence and returned to the fireplace to fetch the bathwater. Placing a long, hooked pole in their mouths, the twins lifted and removed the boiling kettles from the fire, before setting them onto the stone floor.

twow: Strong jawbones right there.

 The whole room felt warm and steamy. It was like a drug, dulling the senses and created a state of unnatural calm. The soothing nature of the steam prevented the twins from anticipating what happened next.

Luna: “A bat flew in and ate everything.”

twow: “I’m Bat-” wait, WHAT?

Luna: I got nothing.

While the servants' backs were still towards Celestia and Luna, the two princesses used their alicorn magic to remove the long, red silk sashes from the crimson curtains. Without a word, the royal sisters sent the sashes flying towards their servants like two silken pythons.

twow: Duck and cover!

Before the twins had time to react, they felt their movements being restricted as their bodies were lifted off the floor. They dropped the long poles in surprise, which clattered against the ground. Both servants exclaimed in shock as the other ends of the long sashes were tied through metal rings on the ornate bathroom ceiling.

Luna: So now they look like two pinatas.

twow: Merry Birthday!

Luna laughed as the twins struggled against their silken bonds like worms on a hook. Their fore-hooves were tied behind their backs and their hind-hooves were bent back in an awkward position.

twow: Ouch?

Luna: How awkward WAS it?

twow: Not enough that their backs snapped apparently.

Sensing how futile it was to struggle, the two mares eventually stopped wriggling and stared bewildered at the princesses.

"Будь ласка, відпустіть нас!" the pink mare said, panicking.

twow: “Let us the fuck out!”

"Please release us!" the blue mare said, translating her sister's words out of compulsion.

twow: Or...that.

Luna: You should stop trying to speak a different language twow.

twow: My translation had more of an impact.

 Ignoring their pleas, Celestia spoke calmly to her servants, as though there was nothing unusual about this situation.

twow: “Princess, why do you have two mares hanging from your ceiling?”

Luna: “New lamps.”

twow: “Okay.”

"We hath decided to divulge the secret of our eternal youth to thee," Celestia said, "Our beauty hath been preserved through an ancient rejuvenation ritual. With the aid of dark, forbidden magics, my sister and I hath managed to live for more than one thousand years. Such a potent spell requires sacrifice, which we obtain by regularly bathing in the blood of virgin fillies."

twow: Heh, Hey Celestia. First off, those aren’t fillies. Second off...

Luna: THIS IS WRONG!!

twow: What she said.

The blue mare's eyes went wide with horror at this revelation. Her sister, who couldn't understand what Celestia was saying, still had a look of concerned confusion on her face.

Once Celestia had revealed her twisted desires, the blue mare began thrashing about, desperately trying to free herself.

twow: (singing) “I just wanna be free...”(smacked by Luna)

 Seeing her sister panic further frightened the pink mare, who still didn't comprehend the gravity of their situation. The pink mare asked her sibling what was happening but the blue mare didn't respond, as she was too focused on extricating herself.

Luna: I doubt that would have worked.

twow: At least she tried.

"Thy blood will serve us better than it ever served thee," Luna said as she watched the blue mare thrash about, "Celestia and I are fulfilling the measure of our creation. The body exists solely to give pleasure, yet there are so many like thyselves who squander their lives on worthless pursuits such as chastity.

twow: How in the fuck is that worthless! I’m a virgin and damn proud of it!

Luna: Celestia and I have also kept ourselves pure. There is no shame in waiting.

They deny themselves the lusts of the flesh and by so doing are unworthy of the blood coursing through their veins!"

twow: Luna, do you have OOC on your board?

Luna: Yes.

twow: Put all the chips on it, and it STILL WON’T BE ENOUGH.

Once Luna had levitated a silver dagger over from the mantle, the pink mare understood the full gravity of their situation.

twow: What part of “blood from virgin filles” did you not understand?

Celestia levitated a gold dagger off the same mantle as both princesses approached their baths.

"Thou are truly fortunate," Luna said to her servants as she licked the blade of the dagger, "Greater love hath no mare than this, that a mare lay down her life for her princess."

Luna: That sounds a bit off.

twow: It fell off the track, and forgot to wear a seatbelt.

"But we're not pure!" the blue mare cried desperately, "Our blood is of no use to you! In order to get to Canterlot, we had to commit a sinful act by fellating the captain of a ship and his first mate!"

twow: Uhhh...

Luna: Would that count though?

twow: Their hymen’s aren’t broken. So, they are still virgins.

The pink mare understood enough of her sister's explanation to testify to the validity of her claims. The pink pony nodded in agreement and made an obscene "O" shape with her mouth, implying fellatio.

twow: “Now make a P.”

Celestia and Luna looked at each other for a moment, considering this new information. The two servants' hearts beat rapidly as they struggled to talk their way out of their horrific situation.

Luna: It won’t work.

twow: Loophole in 3...2...1...

"Fellatio doth not count," Luna said, passing judgement and gas simultaneously,

twow: Remember that Luna. It’s gonna be on the test.

 "Thou art still virgins."

twow: BLUH.

Luna: Well, you hit that nail on the head...sadly.

"But we swallowed!" the blue mare shouted, grasping at straws. At that moment, the twins would have gladly allowed themselves to be raped repeatedly by all the Royal Guards, if it meant they could go on living.

twow: (twitch)

Luna: twow?

twow: I’m fine...

Once Celestia and Luna were sitting in their empty bathtubs, the princesses slowly raised the daggers towards their squirming, shrieking servants.

twow: And of COURSE I don’t have alliteration this time.

Luna: I do! I think I just need “blood” and “crying.”

"Залиште нас у спокої!" the pink mare wailed.

"She said 'leave us alone!'" the blue mare cried hysterically as she translated her sister's screams, "Please, leave us alone!"

Luna: Does that count?

twow: You can have it.

Deaf to the pleas of mercy, Celestia and Luna closed their eyes and cleared their minds before reciting the incantation for their rejuvenation spell.

"Let the cover of night bear witness and destroy those who resist so they shalt harm us not," Luna said.

twow: Can’t you just do that anyway? You’re a fucking goddess!

"Let the blood of many cleanse us like the purifying rays of the sun," Celestia said.

Luna: “Let it shine, let it shine...”

"Preserving beauty eternal," they said together. The flames in the fireplace and those on the candles surrounding the tubs flickered and danced as the princesses recited the spell.

twow: They didn’t ask for an encore.

Having performed this ritual thousands of times before, Celestia and Luna had both become quite adept at slitting throats.

Luna: ............

twow: You have to hold the knife vertically.

 They didn't want their victim to expire too quickly, so the princesses knew exactly how deep to cut and how to best angle the position of the blade in order to prolong the suffering for as long as possible.

(Luna holds her head, shaking as magic sparks from her horn)

twow: Luna, you alright there?

Nightmare Moon: STOP THIS STORY! NOW!!

twow: Oh fuck! Cut it Pinkie!

twow: Luna! Tell me you’re in there!

Pinkie: (from TV) Princess!

Blueblood: (from TV) Auntie?

Nightmare: QUIET! ALL OF YOU!

twow: Luna...or Nightmare, I know that you’re upset...

Nightmare: This story is a mockery of me and my sister! Neither of us would be this cruel to ANY of our subjects EVER!

twow: I understand that Nightmare. But you have to listen to me.

Nightmare: AND WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO THEE?!

twow: Because yelling at me is not going to solve anything. And you can’t leave, Pinkie and I princess-proofed the lab.

Nightmare: We arrived in here just fine.

twow: But can you leave?

Nightmare: ...

twow: Right. Now Nightmare, You know that this isn’t true, correct?

Nightmare: Of course!

twow: Then what’s the problem?

Nightmare: This story reminds us of all of our weaknesses. Our jealousy, our anger, our rage... and it HURTS. (crying)

twow: (holds the crying Nightmare) My life can’t get much weirder than this. Pinkie, how’s Steel?

Steel (TV): I NEED MORE ALCOHOL! I BET IT ALL ON THE GHOST, AND LOST! FIVE FUCKING BOTTLES OF 80 PROOF AJ DANIELS! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Sobs uncontrollably.)

Pinkie: He’s...getting better?

twow: He’s gonna drink himself silly at this rate. I’ll work on a cure. In the meantime, how are you feeling up there Prince Dumbass?

Blueblood: I...

twow: Good answer. Just don’t say words. Princess, do you think that you can get through the rest of this?

Nightmare: I will try. And something will die for this.

twow: Note to self, finish my memory eraser brownies.

*BUZZ*

twow and Nightmare: We’ve got story sign!

When choosing where to cut, it often came down to a choice between the carotid artery or the jugular vein. Even though the jugular vein was smaller and produced less blood flow, it was still the preferred area to cut.

Nightmare: The heart is always a good option.

twow: I’m glad I put all my knives away before you got here.

A severed carotid artery resulted in unconsciousness and death in less than three minutes, while a severed jugular would keep the victim alive for eight minutes or more.

twow: Which is seven minutes and fifty-nine seconds too long.

It was never wise to cut too deep, as a completely severed vein would press into the surrounding neck muscle. This had the undesired effect of applying pressure to the wound and slowing the blood flow. The preferred method was to only cut half way through the jugular, because an interrupted vein would be held open, allowing the blood to flow freely.

twow: Has the author DONE this before or something?!

Nightmare: Either that, or he was forced to watch.

The blue pony held her breath as Celestia's magic brought the sharpened blade cautiously towards her servant's neck. If she had known of Celestia's intentions to bestow a lingering death, the servant might have opted to lean forward into the dagger, forcing it to completely severe her carotid artery. In this way, she would at least have been granted a quick demise.

twow: Please.

Nightmare: Pain is pleasure.

twow: For the one NOT dying, yes. Wait, why did I say that?

Her desire to live ended up prolonging her agony. Not wanting to be cut, she leaned her neck as far from the blade as possible. This allowed Celestia to slice into the jugular as far as she wanted, and no farther.

twow: “Ya done fucked up!”

"The intervening moments from the slitting of one's throat to the unconsciousness that precedes death is rather short," Luna lamented to the twins, "Rarely does somepony whose throat has been cut take the time to fully explore all the new curious sensations afforded them."

Nightmare: What, like the HORRIBLE PAIN?!

twow: Your eyes get wider. It’s pretty cool.

Nightmare: CLOSE THY MOUTH.

"Tis a shame," Celestia added as she carefully slid the blade across her servant's blue neck, "Unfortunately, the pony whose throat hath been slit is often so preoccupied with matters of no importance. Inane trivialities such as worrying about deeds left undone, thinking of loved ones, feelings of anger towards us or the fear of death itself.

twow: Heh. Bitch, those are important. Don’t knock them just because you can’t have them.

Nightmare: Especially the anger part. That’s dire.

 All such activities are of no relevance whatsoever to a pony with approximately eight minutes left to live. Most of them squander their remaining time in this manner and almost entirely miss the unique experiences offered by a slit throat."

twow: “Yes, like the sensation of your blood leaving your body.”

Nightmare: “Also, losing the will to live is the best part.”

Steel (TV): Losing mywill to liveright now...

The blue mare had expected to feel unbearable agony. In reality, the first few minutes after having one's throat cut were relatively pain-free. This was due to the body releasing endorphins during extreme stress, which helped delay feelings of pain.

twow: When a blade is really sharp, a cut isn’t even felt until a bit after the fact.

At first, she didn't think that she'd been cut at all. Her neck just started to feel warm a second or two after the blade had been drawn across her throat.

Nightmare: Kinda like the heat of the sun.

This heat was especially interesting because it arrived without pain, at least at first. What she didn't realize was that cuts from sharp blades don't really hurt until well after the event itself.

Nightmare: Wow twow.

twow: I work with sharp objects all the time in here. It pays to know my stuff.

The blue mare was in such a state of shock, she didn't even realize that she was bleeding. Instead, it felt like a warm tickle in her throat. It wasn't until she glanced down at Celestia that she noticed several cups of her own blood were splashing against the princess' face and chest.

twow: And then she promptly lost her shit.

Upon seeing the crimson tide wash over Celestia's body, the blue mare felt compelled to clutch at her throat. This instinct was hindered by the silken bonds that kept her fore-hooves tied behind her back. Blood continued to pour from the gash in her neck as she struggled to free herself.

Nightmare: She’s doomed anyway!

twow: Well, magic exists in this world. That’s the only way she’d be getting out of this alive.

"Even if thy bonds were loosed, no firm hoof against thy throat could stave off the inevitable," Celestia said in a condescending tone, "Thou shouldst thank us for restricting thy movements, as we have prevented thee from wasting thy final moments on such futile efforts."

twow: Note, that I said alive.

Nightmare: I will cast that universe into total darkness.

Steel (TV): (Burp)... A-Already doin’ that... exprmint...

twow: Cut him off Pinkie!

Pinkie: Working on it!

Steel (TV): I’LL STOP WHEN I WANNA! I CEN QUIT WHENEVA!

"Ти вбив мою сестру," the pink mare cried repeatedly, as she stared at her twin, "Ти вбив мою сестру."

Her slashed throat made turning her head to look at her sister impossible, but the blue mare was still able to listen to her sibling's words. They translated into "you killed my sister."

twow: “My name is Lotus. You killed my sister. Prepare to die.”

The pink mare's sobs were literally cut short as Luna's dagger finally found its mark. Choking on her words, the pink mare felt her mouth bubble up with blood as she tried to speak.

twow: You can go ahead and mark off “blood” now.

Nightmare: And I feel no joy in doing so.

In her zeal to draw blood, Luna had inadvertently cut not only the pink mare's jugular vein, but her carotid artery and windpipe as well.

twow: Fail?

 Having her throat slit while vocalizing offered the pink mare a uniquely fascinating respiratory experience. The vocal vibrations which occurred at the instant of incision made the slicing sensation all the more visceral.

twow: Or...not.

Nightmare: Patience is a damn virtue!

twow: Geez Nightmare!

Nightmare: And don’t even THINK about correcting me!

Once her vocal chords became severed, she felt her voice suddenly give out.

twow: That’s usually what happens when you lose your vocal chords.

One second she was shrieking with all her might, only to be made mute a moment later. No matter how hard she tried to scream, no words emanated from her mouth. The only noise she managed to produce was the sound of her blood splashing against Luna's chest.

twow: Technically, the BLOOD made that sound...(smacked by Nightmare.)

Nightmare: Don’t you even start.

Unlike Celestia's victim, who had produced a healthy and consistent blood flow for several minutes, Luna's victim hemorrhaged gallons of blood in under two minutes. It was a clear case of the differences between the two methods of exsanguination.

twow: So, Luna failed.

Nightmare: “Come over here guard! I need a re-take!”

Over on the mantle, two jewel-encrusted goblets sat in their regular spots, waiting to be used. Celestia and Luna levitates the goblets over to their bath and suspended them beneath their servant's warm crimson shower.

When the goblets were filled to overflowing, the royal sisters clinked their glasses together before bringing them to their lips. Blood trickled down their cheeks as the goblets were soon drained.

twow: “I vant to drink your virgin blood.”

Consuming blood was more intoxicating to the princesses than the strongest of spirits.

Nightmare: I could compare myself to this story and get off free for everything I’ve ever done.

twow: Pretty much.

Steel (TV): Amen. (Drooling on the table.)

For Celestia and Luna, watching their servants' struggle during their final moments was the highlight of the ceremony. The hot sanguine spray from the flailing mares' sliced necks offered a visceral 'fountain of youth' for the two despotic sisters.

twow: And it’s STILL better than Blueblood’s Elixir of Life.

Nightmare: What is that, by the way?

twow: I am not explaining that shit.

Steel (TV): Iz def nut AJ’s beer...

Drunk with absolute power over their subjects, the blood of virgins was the oil that lubricated the royal sisters' machine of sadistic indulgence.

Not content to merely drink and bathe in their servants' blood, Celestia and Luna became aroused and started masturbating in the crimson liquid.

All: Wat.

Steel (TV): Wat. Wat?

 The mere sight of the blade opening the veins of their comely, quivering, suspended servants made Celestia and Luna moist from prurient convulsions. Their hooves created ripples in the blood as they rubbed and teased their clits.

Nightmare: No, I’m serious, WHAT?!

twow: Getting off to blood. I’ll give you credit Bronystories, you’ve managed to disgust me in a new way. (slow claps)

 The princesses moaned with perverse pleasure and reveled in the crimson froth of gore forged from their abject cruelty.

Each beat of their servants' hearts sent more blood flowing onto the royal sisters. The mental, emotional and physical strains were finally taking their toll on the suspended servants.

twow: Bleeding from your neck while you hang from a ceiling watching your rulers masterbate MIGHT do that to you!

Relax," Luna said to the twins as she continued to pleasure herself with her blood-slickened fore-hoof, "Struggling will only hurry death along. These are thy final moments. Thou shouldst try to make them last as long as possible.

Nightmare: Which to them, meant to STRUGGLE HARDER.

 We also advise against reflecting on thy family or any unfinished business thou mayst have. These thoughts will only serve to make thee sad. Seeing as how thou hast less than a minute left of conscious life, why waste it on regrets?"

twow: Because this wasn’t their fault?

Nightmare: Because they aren’t going to see them anymore?

twow: Because of the rea-(smacked by Nightmare)

"Instead," Celestia added, as she masturbated furiously with both fore-hooves, "try to focus on the feeling of lightness that will begin to pervade thy body. Compare the cold numbness of thine extremities with the hot, active flow at thy throat. Notice how thy thoughts grow fuzzier as the blood and oxygen leaves thy body.

twow: She’s like a twisted version of Bill Nye, the Science Guy.

 Feel the cramping of thy lungs as they struggle hopelessly for air while drowning in blood. These are the last sensations thou will ever have, so enjoy them."

Nightmare: “I have a better idea. Why don’t YOU get into this position?”

twow: “I wanna stab the white one!”

Celestia and Luna felt so proud of their benevolence. Who else but rulers as benign and generous as them would take the time while masturbating to try and cheer up dying ponies in their final moments?

twow: Two sick ones?

Nightmare: Well, this question wouldn’t exist if this story wasn’t HORRIBLE.

A lesser leader would deride or ignore those who were considered beneath them, but not Celestia and Luna. After all, having one's throat slit is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

twow: YA DON’T SAY?

Nightmare: Wow. Guess it was a lie when I was told you could get it slit twice.

 As far as the princesses were concerned, their servants should consider themselves lucky that the royal sisters were willing to teach them how to make the most of their slit throats.

twow: And as we can see, the princesses have the mindset of Chucky.

The two blood-soaked alicorns surrendered themselves to the throes of unbridled pleasure as their bodies convulsed and were racked with multiple orgasms. Climaxes so obscene in their extravagance that it caused the princesses' eyes to roll up into their sockets as they slumped back into the tub in an ecstatic stupor.

twow: Kinky?

Nightmare: If you hadn’t said that in a question form...

Feminine ejaculate flowed fiercely out of their sopping wet marehoods and mingled in the shallow pool of blood.

twow: Kinky. (brained by Nightmare)

Steel (TV): An’ he’s outta there!

As Celestia and Luna lay there feeling lightheaded, the twins dangling overhead also felt lightheaded, but for a decidedly different reason.

The servants began to feel woozy from the loss of their own blood. They started to feel nauseous as the sickening, splattering sounds of their blood flow assaulted their ears.

twow: I’d ask how they are still alive, but the story spared no expense in detailing it.

Steel: Given the progression of time since the first cut, I’d gauge it at about 7 minutes 20 seconds. It’s surprising how slowly time can go by in writing, given the time it takes to create a coherent thought...

In spite of being the last one cut, the severity of the pink mare's laceration resulted in her expiring first. Disregarding Luna's warning, the pink mare's final thoughts were of her sister, whom she loved.

Nightmare: (sniffs)

twow: Hang in there.

Her pink face was nearly white as all the blood had drained from it. Luna stared up into the pink mare's glassy, dead eyes and smiled as she was hit with another orgasm.

The blue mare didn't realize her sister was already dead. Somehow, whoever died first didn't matter too much to her at this point.

twow: Well yeah. It wasn’t a race, you were both fucked as soon as the bath water was ready.

 Lacking the energy to do anything anymore, the blue mare just stared straight ahead in the direction of the fire place. Her eyes began to get cloudy as the warm light of the fire danced before her. The mare's face was a pale blue, as her blood flow began to weaken.

Nightmare: You mean when it died down?

twow: Weaken is okay in my book.

"Somepony must have left the fire on, but turned off the heat," she thought groggily, "How else could I feel so cold?" The blue mare tried to focus her eyes as she stared at the painting of Celestia and Luna. She looked at the cold, frozen disc in the center of the image.

twow: Invisible fire.

Nightmare: Hate when that happens. I forgot to bring my non-existent fire hydrant.

"Cold," she thought, as oxygen rapidly left her brain, "Cold like me. I bet I'd be... happy there. Me... and my sister..."

The blue mare's head slumped down as her blood flow reduced to a trickle. Within seconds, both mares were dead.

twow and Nightmare: FINALLY.

Much to Celestia and Luna's disappointment, the blood of one mare just wasn't enough to fill a bathtub. It would take at least four to do the job. The twins' blood had only managed to fill up their respective tubs one fourth of the way.

twow: You could always downsize.

Nightmare: Or die. I could live with that.

The two sisters sat in shallow pools of blood as they enjoyed the results of multiple explosive orgasms. Once their afterglows had ceased, the sisters got out of their tub and stood over a grate in the middle of the room. Celestia and Luna levitated the kettles of water over their heads and poured it on themselves.

twow: Now that’s a bath.

Nightmare: But...they forgot the bubbles...

 The water, like the twins, was now slightly above room temperature. The contents of the kettles washed the blood off of their coats and spiraled down the drain. Once they had cleaned themselves, the sisters untied the twins' bodies from the ceiling.

twow: And ate them.

Nightmare: TWOW!

twow: What?! That many orgasms would make me want a snack!

Steel (TV): (Hiding under the table.) 11... 12... 13...

Wrapping their bodies completely in the sashes, Celestia and Luna levitated the corpses over to the mantle and disposed of them in the large fireplace. The flames roared to life as new fuel was added to it.

In a similar fashion, the mares' virgin blood acted as a sort of fuel for the princesses.

twow: Because food isn’t an option.

Nightmare: Or water. Or air. Or heat. Or-

twow: We get it Nightmare.

 Celestia held up an exquisite mirror to admire her reflection. It was difficult to judge which side held more beauty. The back, which was encrusted with dozen of precious stones; or the mirrored side, which displayed Celestia's radiant face in all her terrible glory.

Nightmare: He got the “terrible” part right.

twow: He just forgot to detail that the entire alicorn was terrible.

The royal sisters watched their reflections as the wrinkles in the corners of their eyes disappeared and a youthful countenance returned to their faces.

During their reign, Celestia and Luna had tortured and murdered more than twenty five thousand virgins.

Nightmare: WHAT.

twow: What the fuck?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Steel (TV): Damn it. 1... 2... 3...

twow: It was OVA NINE THOUSAAAAA- (thrown by Nightmare)

That's only counting the mares who died in order for the sisters to preserve their youth and beauty. Countless more were raped, sexually abused and gruesomely killed by the princesses in creative ways during the last eon. The chief motivation for these acts was the spontaneous sexual climaxes the royal sisters experienced while committing these atrocities.

Nightmare: SOMEONE WILL BURN FOR THIS.

twow: This story makes me want to stay a virgin.

The next morning two mares were walking the streets of Canterlot, trying to hide their identities. After botching their most recent job with the Canterlot Decency Squad, their former employers wanted to punish them for failing to carry out their duties.

twow: With rape.

Nightmare: Really, twow?

twow: You just SAW what happened. Do you think that anything in this universe is sound?

Nightmare: True...

Steel (TV): I read it, soooo... no, nothing is sound.

A cream-colored earth pony walked along side her friend, a mint-colored unicorn. Both of them wore cloaks to hide their faces. The earth pony apologized profusely.

twow: That would be Lyra and Bon Bon, respectively.

"I'm sorry I arranged for us to take that last job," the earth pony said, ashamedly, "When the Canterlot Decency Squad asked for ponies who were willing to tie up and burn faggots, I, of course, thought they meant bundles of sticks."

twow: I thought they meant cream puffs.

Nightmare: I assumed that it was happy ponies.

The mint unicorn gave an exasperated sigh due to her marefriend's naivety.

"It's a good thing those fanatics never discovered our forbidden love, or else we would've met a fate similar to those who burned," the unicorn said in a serious tone.

twow: Hid it well, you did.

Nightmare: As long as they didn’t sit on a bench.

 The two mares gave a moment of silence in respect for the dead. After a few moments, the earth pony broke the silence to express her admiration for her marefriend's courage.

"I was so proud of you when you set the colt cuddlers and filly foolers free," the earth pony said, "Instead of burning the prisoners, you helped them to escape."

twow: Ugh.

Nightmare: What?

twow: Hate those names. So rude. And it’s alliteration.

"What I did was nothing special," the unicorn said, modestly, "You're the clever one! After I freed the prisoners you created effigies to be burned in their place."

"It wasn't so clever, considering I made the decoys out of melons," the earth pony said, embarrassed, "The squad's captain was able to tell the difference between a bunch of fruits and a bunch of fruits shaped like ponies."

twow: What.

Nightmare: Really?!

twow: You are all fired from breathing! Please, take your things and quietly exit LIFE.

"Now we're wanted by fanatics and out of work," the unicorn said, gloomily, "We need a new job; preferably one where we can hide from our enemies."

The cream-colored mare stopped to read a recently posted help wanted sign, which bore the official Canterlot Castle seal.

twow: Need to hang a big warning sign there.

Nightmare: “Caution: Living in this city will increase your chance of death by 96%”

"Here's an ad for potential vocation!" the earth pony said excitedly, "Two mares are needed to prepare the royal baths for the princesses. Applicants are required to have never known a stallion. Apply within the castle." The earth pony turned excitedly to her marefriend.

"We've never known a stallion!" the cream-colored mare said eagerly,

twow: Wonder why.

Nightmare: The story just SAID-

twow: Sarcasm, Nightmare.

 "Do you know how few ponies actually see the princesses? If we stick close to them, nopony will see us either! We can hide from our enemies inside the castle! It's the last place they'd think to look! We could take the job at the palace and shower the princesses with hospitality!"

twow: (laughing uncontrollably)

Nightmare: And I’m the insane one.

Steel (TV): At least I’m the drunk one.

The mint unicorn squinted at the sign then looked up at the castle.

twow: “Let’s just go back to the fanatics.”

"Why not?" the unicorn said, "It can't be any worse than our last job."

twow: (singing)  “You better get ready to die...”

Nightmare: (singing) “You better get ready to run, cause here we coooome...”

Pinkie: I think you two are finished now.

Pinkie: (from TV) Are you two okay?

twow: I really just about lost my mind there.

Luna: twow, I am sorry for my lack of control.

twow: You’re alright now, then?

Luna: Better than I was.

Steel (TV): Your Highness, if I might add? I read this story in its entirety after about Chapter 2 in Twow’s riffing. I single-handedly axehandled a table in half, broke my wrist on one of the trees in the orchard, and nearly put a mare in the hospital with a folding chair. You’re quite under control, even as Nightmare Moon.

Luna: And did you say that this was Chapter Six twow?

twow: Yup. I’ve gone through five chapters of this shit.

Luna: Pinkie Pie, why are you putting your friend through this?

Pinkie: It’s not ME, Princess. It’s your nephew!

Luna: WHAT.

twow: He got pissy because I talked shit about him, and I’ve been forced to read this story ever since.

Luna: Is this true, Blueblood?

Blueblood: Well...uh...you see...

Steel: Can we hit him with lead pipes and rusty sawblades now? (Has been quite sober for a while now.)

twow: That would be so much fun.

Luna: (sighing) I will deal with you back at the castle. In the meantime, twow, could I have a drink?

twow: (distracted) Sure, there’s a water bottle on the desk.

Pinkie: T, isn’t that the...

twow: Shit. Luna, wait!

(Luna drinks from the bottle and vanishes.)

twow: Damn it! NOW it fucking works!

Steel (TV): Well, Twow, look on the bright side. (Grins evilly at Blueblood) No ‘Auntie Luna’ to get between us and you during our fun time after the story, Blueblood.

twow: And remember Fallen’s threat, Blueblood?

Blueblood: Yes...

twow: Luna just lost it. I remember Fallen saying that better not happen to anymore of his friends, am I right?

Blueblood: Yes, but she doesn’t remember it now! Isn’t that what that drink does?

twow: Oh yes. But you see, it’s not done yet. So her memories, will come back to her.

Blueblood: ...

Steel (TV): Damn it.

twow: Oh yeah. Don’t worry Steel. We still get to beat the fuck out of him.

Steel (TV): Ohhhh yes. My wrist should be better by the time the story’s done... Blueblood puts a day or two between each of these chapters. May ask one of the ponies around town to help with my swing...

Pinkie: Go and rest T. I have a bad feeling that you might need it.

twow: I will. See you guys a bit later.

Steel: Aye.

*BUZZ*

twow: I’ve got break sign!

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 7

And now it’s time for chapter 7.

This one is called “The Training” And because I know that the NEXT chapter is Rainbow’s, this can only have the foals in it. Oh, fucking yay.

I can’t contain how happy I am that I’m getting closer to the end. Soon I’ll be done. Very soon.

Well, no point in delaying the inevitable. Here’s 120 Days of Blueblood, chapter 7.

twow: And...it’s done! Well, almost.

Blueblood: (from TV) What’s that twow?

twow: This, would be an age enhancement gun. It can turn a pony to a certain age and even enhance how they act, but they lose their memories when they age back. It’s still in testing.

Blueblood: I see.

twow: Yeah. Who is it this time?

Blueblood: Come again?

twow: The only reason you’re talking to me is because I have to riff the next chapter. Come on, who is it?

Blueblood: I wasn’t doing that. I was going to let some ponies visit you for a bit.

twow: Really now. Who is it?

(The lab doors open to allow Dinky Hooves and Spike entrance, closing behind them.)

twow: Dinky!

Dinky: (hugging twow) It’s great to see you twow! You’ve been down here forEVER.

twow: Yeah. Been really busy.

Spike: (looking around) Wow. Twilight wasn’t kidding about this place. It’s pretty cool.

twow: Yeah, just don’t touch...

Dinky: (holding age gun) twow, what’s this do?

twow: Dinky wait!

(Dinky pulls the trigger and a cloud of white smoke covers the filly.)

twow: Dinky!

Spike: Oh no!

Pinkie: (from TV) T! What’s going on?! And why is SPIKE in there?!

twow: You’re not gonna like who else is in here.

(The cloud clears to reveal a teenage unicorn mare where Dinky was.)

Spike: What?!

twow: You’ve gotta be kidding me.

Pinkie: Wow T! Is...is that Dinky?!

twow: It was.

Dinky: What...what the hell just happened?

twow: Language!...well I can’t even get on you for that one.

Blueblood: Well, since you have some partners...

twow: Are you out of your damn mind?!

Blueblood: Consider this a little revenge for your friend threatening me.

twow: Rusty sawblade up the scrotum Blueblood.

Spike: Wait, is this a riff?

twow: Yes. And none of us are going to enjoy this.

Steel (TV): I AM still here, damn it...

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

"Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions."

        — Aldous Huxley

twow: That guy must have had a key to all the chastity belts.

The children barely slept at all in their dark cell. The sounds of their churning stomachs kept everypony awake as they attempted to digest their meals from the feast.

Dinky: Wait, wouldn’t it have digested it? I mean, what did they eat?

twow: Well....

Spike: Please don’t tell me it came from their own bodies.

twow: It didn’t.

Spike: Phew.

twow: It came from the princesses.

Spike and Dinky: WHAT?!

twow: Oh this is gonna get awful.

 They stared at the barred ceiling and walls as their minds raced from the events of the day. Their underdeveloped brains couldn't process what the next four months would require of them.

twow: They explained it really well. Sex.

Spike: At this young?

twow: Spike, they won’t be riding the consent train.

        Had they been able to fully grasp the hopelessness of their situation, they most likely would have drifted into severe depression. As it stood, they were still children and had the indelible flame of hope that flickered within them; a flame which the libertines were only too eager to eventually snuff out.

Dinky: I’m proud of them.

twow: (singing) “This little light of mine...” (smacked by Spike)

        Scootaloo thought back to her time at the orphanage. She had learned a lot from the nuns who cared for her; especially Sister Spectrum, who taught her about the evils of sex and the wages of sin.

Dinky: That’s why I’m not allowed to have a coltfriend.

twow: Sex isn’t evil, it’s how the act is performed.

        Scootaloo had never been more confused in her young life. Everything that the nuns had taught them about the royal sisters was a lie. Celestia and Luna didn't delight in the chastity of ponies.

twow: Trust me, WE KNOW.

 Instead of being immaculate avatars of purity and hope, the princesses were the most impure and hopeless sinners Scootaloo had ever seen.

Spike: This story is gonna change that outlook.

twow: Like you would NOT believe.

        "The princesses are false gods," Scootaloo said bitterly to her fellow prisoners, "They lied to everypony." Such a blasphemous statement would have elicited a severe punishment for Scootaloo under normal circumstances.

twow: From who?

Dinky: Where she lived before?

 As it stood, she had a hard time conceiving of a worse punishment than her current situation; she also highly doubted that any of her cellmates would disagree with her assessment.

Spike: Well, yeah. Can’t get much wor-

twow: NO SPIKE DON’T SAY THAT!

        "Does Sister Spectrum know about this?" Scootaloo thought, horrified, "Is she... one of them?"

        Scootaloo imagined Sister Spectrum silhouetted in shadows as the royal guards arrived at the orphanage to take the children to the castle. There was an evil glint in the nun's eye as she cast a cruel smile, knowing full well what fate awaited the orphans.

Dinky: “They paid me well for this.”

twow: “Next time, I’ll give them foals!”

        "No!" Scootaloo screamed as she shook her head violently before throwing herself prostrate onto the stone ground. Burying her head in her fore-hooves, Scootaloo sobbed long and hard as she tried desperately to erase the wicked ideas from her mind.

twow: But she didn’t have a #2 pencil.

        Sister Spectrum was like an older sister to the young orphan, and she was not about to let her memories become tarnished by the libertines' perversity.

        "Sister Spectrum would never do anything to hurt us," Scootaloo thought as she continued to cry, "...Would she?"

Spike: Not if she took care of you until this.

twow: Then you need to wonder how the hell they were kidnapped.

Dinky: Didn’t they come here willingly?

        Scootaloo's sobbing prompted the other children to also start crying.

        Pip sat facing the corner of the cell, rocking back and forth as he listened to the wailing of his fellow prisoners. To help console himself, he started singing the Equestrian hymn his mother used as a lullaby when he was a foal.

twow: “My little pony...”

Dinky and Spike: Stop.

        "Yes, Luna loves me," Pip sang sadly, "Oh yes, Luna loves me..." The words died in his throat as he thought about the feast and the real Luna. Pip's lip trembled as he was unable to continue the song. The libertines had tarnished one of the few fond memories he had of his mother.

twow: Guess you could say that they shit on it. (smacked by Spike and Derpy)

 Pip hung his head and bawled his eyes out.

        Drained mentally and emotionally, the fillies and colts eventually ran out of tears and lay on their hay bedding until exhaustion finally claimed them and they drifted off to sleep.

Dinky: This is gonna fucking suck, isn’t it?

twow: Language Dinky!

Dinky: If you expect me to get through this, then I’m gonna talk how I want!

twow: Oh I hope you get amnesia when that wears off.

        In the morning, Filthy Rich came by to rouse the children. Fancy Pants and Fleur were with him to make sure the children didn't escape. Upon seeing her stepfather, the once-spoiled pink filly ran to the edge of the cage and desperately begged him to release her.

Spike: If he knows that you’re in here, wouldn’t he have gotten you out anyway?

twow: Please. He PUT her in there.

        "Father! Father, please!" Diamond Tiara wailed as she reached her hooves through the bars towards her perverted patriarch,

twow: UGH.

Spike: The alliteration?

twow: I’m not even breaking out the Bingo boards.

"I don't know what madness has taken hold of you, but you must fight it! Please father, come to your senses and we can leave this place together! I'll never a tell a soul about what you've done. I promise I'll be a good daughter.

twow and Dinky: (bust up laughing)

Spike: Little harsh guys?

twow: I’m so going to hell for this.

Please show mercy and release me!"

        "Silence!" Filthy Rich barked, sounding like a wild animal. Diamond Tiara whimpered pitifully as tears filled her eyes.

        "You will know release soon enough, you little whore," Filthy Rich said, "But not before you learn how to give it."

Dinky: “Now spread em!”

twow and Spike: O_O

        Filthy Rich ordered the children to stand at attention outside their cage. As they did so, he inspected the cell to make sure none of them had relieved themselves during the night. Once he was satisfied that all was in order, he returned to the children.

twow: They didn’t go while they were asleep?

Spike: I’m surprised they got any rest then.

        Truffle Shuffle's belly gurgled as his body was eager to expel Celestia's excrement from his system.

        "Please!" Truffle Shuffle begged, "I have to go! I've held it in all night!" Filthy Rich smiled at the pudgy, fidgeting colt. Out of all their captives, the colt cuddler was most looking forward to training Truffle Shuffle. Hearing the chubby colt beg gave Filthy Rich a thrill of perverse pleasure.

twow: What...I...pain...P...

Dinky: What the hell are you-

twow: He used it THREE TIMES!!

        "Of course," Filthy Rich said sympathetically, "My poor little chit, you look as though you'll burst if you don't relieve yourself soon." The chubby colt looked nervously at the stallion as his volatile innards continued to churn.

Dinky: Churnin like butter.

twow: If I still live in Equestria when you’re naturally this age, you must start riffing with me.

Dinky: Or, you could keep that gun and we could make this a normal thing.

twow: I like this idea.

Spike: Ummm, I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.

        "Fortunately," Filthy Rich continued, "you have several fine mouths available here to use as your toilet." The stallion then gestured to the other five children, who looked horrified. Truffle Shuffle stared at his fellow prisoners hesitantly.

Spike: “Open wide!!”

twow: “And a true lady always swallows.”

        He considered relieving himself on the floor as an act of defiance. He wanted to show the libertines he refused to play along with their sick games. The problem was that he knew such an act would be punished most severely, possibly even resulting in his own death.

twow: Do it.

Dinky: He already KNOWS his life is gonna get worse! Might as well go out with a bang!

 In spite of the horrors he had endured so far, the young colt was not suicidal. Truffle Shuffle wanted to live! To escape!

        "I... I can't," Truffle Shuffle said, backing away from his fellow prisoners, "Please don't make me."

twow: “But thou must.”

        "Do not disappoint me," Filthy Rich growled ominously, "Now pick a child to accept your waste." Truffle Shuffle cried as he closed his eyes and pointed at Diamond Tiara.

Dinky: Good choice.

Spike: Geez Dinky. I didn’t know you didn’t like her.

twow: “You have chosen...wisely.”

Spike: Him, on the other hand...

        "No!" the pink filly screamed and attempted to run. She was stopped by Fancy Pants, who levitated the struggling filly into the air.

        "You want to defecate in my stepdaughter's mouth?" Filthy Rich said with a smile, "How delightful."

twow: I’d prefer to never hear that in real life.

        Fancy Pants then brought the screaming filly before Truffle Shuffle. Fancy Pants forced Diamond Tiara to lay on her back as she continued to shake her head while screaming bloody murder and demanding that they let her go.

twow: Should have been screaming “Bloody Mary.”

Dinky: Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! Bloody Ma-

Spike: (covering Dinky’s mouth) Are you insane?!

        The chubby colt whimpered as he turned away from Diamond Tiara and positioned his ass over her face. When she saw the chubby colt's anus mere inches from her lips, she stopped screaming and instead kept her mouth closed in protest. Closing her eyes, she turned her head to one side. Having the colt's excrement decorate her face was infinitely preferable to eating it.

twow: They use that instead of mud now.

Dinky: I’m never going to the spa again.

        "Open your mouth, daughter," Filthy Rich ordered, "Swallow his shit or I'll make you serve as Celestia's personal chamberpot for the rest of your life." Thinking that her father was mad enough to follow through with his threat, Diamond Tiara acquiesced and slowly opened her mouth.

Spike: Oh, he is.

twow: Well, she could just keep not eating it until she was killed.

Steel (TV): I know I’d rather be dead. (Slurps some AJ Daniels)

 Tears fell to the ground as she braced herself for a second consecutive meal of fecal matter.

        Truffle Shuffle knew how wrong this was, but he couldn't be bothered with that guilt now. He was about to relieve himself and it was going to feel glorious. He felt his first turd start to crown as Diamond Tiara's lip quivered.

Spike: Celestia’s crown has been found!

twow: She made Truffle eat it.

Dinky: That bitch!

 The young colt was about to do the deed, when Fleur flipped a switch, revealing an adjoining room through a hidden door.

        The dungeon was connected to a circular room with a large hole in the middle. Truffle Shuffle's nose was suddenly filled with a strong stench. He looked around and saw that they were mere feet from the libertine's bathroom.

twow: I guess when they cleaned the dungeons from the deal with AJ’s family, they forgot that part.

Spike: Twilight would have been all over that.

Steel (TV): I’ll give her props for that.

 Spying a non-sentient hole in which to relieve himself, the chubby colt ran to the middle of the room and shit down the toilet hole. Once Diamond Tiara realized that Truffle Shuffle was no longer hovering over her, she breathed a sigh of relief.

Spike: “Thank everything that I didn’t have to eat that.”

Dinky: “Hopefully we won’t be having another feast.

        Filthy Rich commanded the other children to follow Truffle Shuffle's lead and relieve their bowels into the pit. Shuddering and straining amidst gurgling stomachs and the sounds of farting, the six children expelled their meals from last night's feast.

twow: Wait a second. They’re shitting out the princesses shit.

Dinky: It’s “shitception!”

Spike: Ow, my brain!

 Their excrement and urine traveled down the deep hole before landing atop a large pile of wet feces. For years, this room had collected all the waste of the libertines' victims.

twow: Well, now I know why it smelled awful in there.

Dinky: Watch, they’re gonna have to bathe in it.

Spike: (gags)

twow: What the hell Dinky?!

Steel (TV): What’s funny is it still smells like the libertines.

        Truffle Shuffle let out a couple of loud farts as he pushed one last bowel movement out of his system. Filthy Rich stood to the side as he watched a long brown log slide out of Truffle Shuffle's ass and down the pit. Filthy Rich imagined what it would feel like to shove his hot stallionhood up the child's rectum.

Spike: Well then.

twow: Reactions are your friend Spike.

Spike: I’m saving them for later.

 Precum started to flow from his semi-erect penis as he thought about mercilessly sodomizing Truffle Shuffle until he bled and begged for mercy. Growing hornier by the second, Filthy Rich walked forward and kissed the surprised colt on the lips.

Dinky: “You really need some damn ChapStick.”

twow: Carmax all the way.

        Truffle Shuffle blushed as the stallion held the kiss. The child resisted his instinct to back away, because if he did, he would've fallen into the pit. Filthy Rich darted his tongue inside and ran it along the roof of the colt's mouth.

twow: “It’s so smooth up here!”

Spike: Really?

twow: I’m reaching here.

 In spite of being driven by his lusts, Filthy Rich had enough control to remember the rules. He couldn't claim the young colt's ass until the child had been properly trained and found worthy. The libertine eventually broke the kiss, causing Truffle Shuffle to look away, ashamed.

twow: Why are you ashamed? It’s not like you WANTED to kiss him.

Dinky: I don’t think he means that.

        "I'm so proud of you, my little chit," Filthy Rich whispered in the young colt's ear, "You were given your first test and you passed."

        "I don't understand..." Truffle Shuffle said.

Spike: “I just wanted a cookie.”

twow: But he wouldn’t go to the dark side.

        "When the body cries out for release, all other false notions of decency dissipate," Filthy Rich said, "You needed to relieve yourself so badly, that you were willing to violate my step daughter's throat. Achieving self gratification at the expense of everything else is what matters in our eyes."

twow: Oh.

Dinky: And the realization hits...

        Once the children had all relieved themselves, it was time to begin their lessons. Exiting the bathroom, the children followed the liberties up a winding staircase out of the dungeon and through a long hall into a parlor with several couches divided by curtains. They wouldn't pair off just yet, though.

twow: Orgies first, pairs later.

Spike: I guess I’d be down with that.

twow: ...

For now, the goal was for the libertines to instruct the children on the proper performance of their duties. Being the most eloquent of the libertines, Fancy Pants stepped forward to address the children.

        "Some who would defame us say that we are slaves to our bodily urges," Fancy Pants said, "They claim we have not mastered our bodies, but that our bodies have mastered us."

Dinky: Seeing as how you are all batshit insane, wouldn’t your MIND have mastered you?

twow: Nah. Probably their dicks. (smacked by Dinky)

        The stallion's words caused Truffle Shuffle to feel a sudden surge of guilt for what he had been willing to do to Diamond Tiara. He felt deeply ashamed and was unable to look at her.

        "I'm not becoming one of them," he thought bitterly, "I'm not..."

twow: Yes you arrrrrrrrrrrrre.

Spike: Be nice twow!

twow: I’m trying, but this story makes me not nice.

        "Such fools emphasize the need for chastity and abstaining from physical pleasures for the sake of purifying their soul," Fancy Pants said, "These simpletons delude themselves, for there is no soul. They are all slaves, shackled to a false idea of some reward in the hereafter for denying themselves pleasure in the flesh."

Dinky: Well, we could always kill you and you could find out for us.

twow: Let’s forget to tell him that it’s a one-way trip.

        Scootaloo felt the anger boiling inside her as she thought about the disgusting libertines having the nerve to mock the values she and Sister Spectrum cherished.

        "We bring to the world this great truth," Fancy Pants said benevolently, "Only through unbridled lust and wanton depravity can one obtain the greatest pleasures in life. We are achieving the full measure of our creation when we embrace libertine philosophy."

twow: No, you’re just getting off by causing foals pain.

Spike: I don’t think they were hugged enough as children.

        Shaking with rage, Scootaloo was unable to keep silent any longer. Fluttering her wings as she jumped in front of Fancy Pants, Scootaloo began to quote from the princesses' scriptures.

        "Woe unto ye, liars and hypocrites!" Scootaloo cried out, turning Celestia's own words against her libertine followers, "The princesses don't keep their commandments!"

twow: Wait, Celestia’s a PART of this!

Dinky: But, didn’t they not want all of Equestria to be like them?

Spike: I think so. That explains why they would create rules to prevent all of Equestria to be like them.

twow: Damn you two are smart.

Dinky: That’s what my mom says.

        The other children shrunk back, afraid of what might happen to Scootaloo. The young pegasus closed her eyes and flinched as Fancy Pants moved towards her. She was expecting to be stuck down for her outburst and was quite surprised when Fancy Pants simply smiled at her. Filthy Rich and Fleur chuckled quietly.

All: This isn’t gonna end well.

        Fancy Pant appreciated the boldness of young filly and saw in her brazenness a desire for further understanding, which he was only too happy to impart.

        "There's no need to ruffle your pretty little feathers, my dear little cuntie," Fancy Pants said, "I'm sure you are wondering why Celestia and Luna preach morality and chastity when they themselves have enjoyed more than an eon of baser pleasures."

Dinky: Because they are hypocritical cunts.

twow: (wipes a tear) I couldn’t have said that better myself.

Spike: I’m the only sane one in here.

 Scootaloo gave a single nod, while keeping her expression reserved.

        "The princesses know that most are unworthy of their own bodies," Fancy Pants said, "Celestia ad Luna wanted to share their libertine gospel with all of Equestria, but their message was rejected. Many ponies were unwilling to give in to their lusts and instead became unnatural beings who desired morality.

Spike: That’s not unnatural!

twow: Well, the princesses have been like this, I guess from the beginning. It’d be weird to them.

Dinky: If my dad ever went to that universe, he’d have some words for them.

 It pained the princess to withhold the greater knowledge from her subjects, but since Celestia is a benevolent ruler, she gave her citizens what they desired. Celestia shackled all ponies with a moral code to punish them for rejecting the truth of carnal pleasure."

twow: Wait a sec. If they didn’t want to do it in the first place, then they didn’t NEED the moral code! They were already not doing it!

Spike: And in that case the code wouldn’t have mattered because they would just keep living how they did before!

Dinky: That ONE sentence made the logic of the princesses fall apart at the seams.

Steel (TV): (Simply keeps his logic to himself, sipping his alcohol.)

        Fancy Pants repeated what had been told to him by the princesses. This was also a lie. Not even the libertarians were trusted with the whole truth. The only ones who knew what really happened were the royal sisters.

twow: I think that we’re gonna need to break before we hear this.

Spike: Yeah.

Dinky: Good idea twow.

Pinkie: (from TV) Are you three doing okay?

twow: Still annoyed that I’m with two younger people, but we’re alright.

Spike: This story is ridiculous!

twow: How so?

Spike: Think about it. If you actually take the time and think, none of this makes any logical sense.

Dinky: For one, I think that more ponies would take notice if their foals were disappearing.

Spike: And as for the moral code thing, I don’t understand that part at all.

twow: I think it might have been for the ones that were too chicken to take part.

Steel (TV): So I don’t have to say it. Cool.

Dinky: But if, in the beginning, they could have done it anyway, then they didn’t have a NEED to be chicken about it.

Spike: And if it was supposed to be a punishment, it was a lousy one because it wouldn’t have changed how they would have acted.

twow: Well, it would have affected the ones that WANTED to be like this.

Dinky: Until the princesses made them part of their secret circle.

Steel (TV): Actually, a bit about that. I don’t wanna give this story points, it’s utter shit, but maybe the Princesses had a bit of foresight on that?

twow: It’s a possibility.

Steel (TV): Aye. The story kinda debunks that theory, hence why I said it’s shit. (Slurps his alcohol) God, you’ve really gotta try this stuff. 80 proof, sober in 3 minutes. AJ’s awesome for giving me a deal on this stuff... I think she cleans with it, though... (Shrugs, sipping more as he goes over some paperwork.)

twow: You’re gonna kill yourself at that rate.

Pinkie: I’m sorry you three, but are you ready to get back to it?

Dinky: Let’s do this shit!

Spike: I guess we might as well.

twow: Alright Pinkie.

Blueblood: And a little warning, this is when the weird stuff for this chapter starts.

twow: Joy.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

        One thousand years ago, Celestia and Luna ruled Equestria in harmony. In their vain desire for eternal youth and beauty, the princesses cast what they thought was an immortality spell. In actuality, it turned out to be an immorality spell, which was so potent that it affected all of Equestria.

twow: Those “T’s” are the hardest to remember.

Dinky: “See kids? THIS is why you get “A” in spelling!”

        The world quickly devolved into chaos, as all the citizens had formed one huge, continuous orgy. Stallions spread every orifice of every gender with their hot, pulsating members.

twow and Spike: Kinky. (smacked by Dinky)

Dinky: What the hell?!

twow and Spike: Worth it.

 Mares became pregnant and didn't even stop sucking cocks when it was time to give birth.

Spike: That is serious dedication right there.

twow: ...I got nothing.

 Their offspring were then forced to participate in the orgy long before they would ever feel arousal themselves. Before receiving nourishment from their mothers' teats, foals learned how to suckle on cocks and clits.

twow: Because that will help them grow.

Dinky: Of course. It’s best to start early.

Spike: ...are you two alright?

twow: Nope.

Dinky: Not at all.

Steel (TV): Never were.

        As a result of the princesses embracing their new immoral nature, they were unfazed by the perversity which pervaded the planet. Their only focus remained their quest for immortality; even if that meant reading forbidden scrolls of dark magic that no moral pony would consider.

twow: You two are ALICORNS. Why the fuck can’t you just live?!

Spike: The author needed a reason to justify this.

 One scroll told of a ancient rite which granted eternal youth and beauty at the cost of virgin sacrifices.

        Unfortunately for them, after casting the immorality spell, virginity had become increasingly rare commodity throughout Equestria. Concepts such as morality and chastity were completely wiped from the public conscience, which meant that the sisters' secret rite for eternal beauty was in jeopardy unless they acted fast.

twow: I’m still calling bullshit on the “blood” theory.

Dinky: Maybe they are secretly vamponies.

Spike: “I vant to bathe in your blood.”

        To increase the number of potential sacrificial candidates, Celestia and Luna decreed that the world had been seduced by the whisperings of Discord, who had clouded the minds of their subjects and led them astray.

Dinky: Did he even exist in this universe?

twow: I think that he’s supposed to be the god of hell here.

        The princesses set forth a list of commandments that were to be obeyed by the populace, lest they be smitten with hellfire. Faced with the threat of annihilation, the royal subjects began to repent, which freed them from the immorality spell. Ponies all over Equestria pledged to live lives of chastity and morality and to shun the temptations of the flesh.

twow: Seems rather legitimate.

Spike: This is bull.

        The public orgies were banned and only a select, secret few were permitted to join the princesses in enjoying a libertine lifestyle. Celestia and Luna hid their deeds from their subjects so as not to appear hypocritical.

Dinky and twow: Even though they fucking ARE!!

Spike: Geez. Calm down.

 As far as the general population was concerned, Celestia and Luna were Goddesses of purity who had descended from on high to save ponies from their sins.

twow: Please never compare these twats to Jesus again.

Dinky: Who?

twow: Don’t ask.

        For one thousand years, chastity and morality were preached by the princesses to a penitent public. Slowly the number of virgins increased, enabling the princesses to sacrifice mares and fillies as often as was required for Celestia and Luna to maintain their youth and beauty.

Spike: Truly, the world will be a better place with them existing.

twow: And it only took twenty-five thousand virgins for it.

        "We will now start your morning lessons," Fleur said, "Prince Blueblood has declared that time is to be set aside each morning for you to practice the art of masturbation."

twow: Hey Dinky, you’ve been taking sex ed classes. Don’t you know what that is?

Dinky: I’m not going to answer that.

Spike: I know that I do.

twow: Moving on now.

Spike: Don’t you want to hear the whole story...

twow: MOVING ON NOW.

        Scootaloo looked around nervously at her fellow prisoners. She could tell at a glance who had at least a cursory knowledge of self pleasure. Silver Spoon and Featherweight, being the most innocent, had no idea what Fleur was talking about.

Dinky: Can I call bullshit on that?

twow: You were gonna do that anyway.

        "As the best frigger in the castle, I shall direct you on how to frig a prick," Fleur said, "I will guide your young hooves. Soon you will each learn the proper motions, the intricacies of the tempo, how much speed is required and, most importantly, you will learn how to pay attention to the visual cues of the stallion you're frigging."

Spike: Eh?

Dinky: Wha?

twow: Bronystories, I just learned a new word. I think you’ve earned this again. (slow claps)

        Two fainting couches were set up in the middle of the room, with Filthy Rich and Fancy Pants each reclining on one of them. The libertines' limp stallionhoods hung loose from their sheaths as they looked sternly at the children. The stallions were silently daring their prisoners to object or refuse, but none did.

Spike: It’s cute how the story is trying to say they had a choice.

twow: They put a rocket on the rape train.

Their silence was not due to compliance, but shock and revulsion.

        "In addition to mastering the technique," Fleur said, "you will also learn what attitudes and postures are most conducive to the operation's success; furthermore, punishments will be inflicted on those who at the end of a fortnight, despite these lessons, should fail to perfect their proficiency in this art."

Dinky: Seeing what you’ve already done, nothing short of death would be effective.

twow: What if they killed them, and then brought them back?

Dinky: O_O

        Silver Spoon and Featherweight were chosen as the first two 'volunteers.' Neither gender nor age meant anything to the libertines. None were exempt from their perverted lessons. The other four children watched as their friends were subjected to the basest of degradations.

twow: “Phew, it’s not my turn.”

Spike: “I knew it was a good idea to give her the short straw.”

 The remaining children took a small measure of comfort in knowing that they were being ignored...at least for now.

        "You four had better pay attention," Fleur snapped at the other children, "You'll be called upon to perform soon enough."

Dinky: Get Sweetie. She’s great at dancing.

twow: She’s also really dead.

Dinky: D:

        Featherweight couldn't bring himself to look at Filthy Rich. The young colt hadn't even touched himself before and yet here he was, forced to fondle Filthy's flaccid phallus.

        "Fleur, I think you'd best devote your attention to the filly," Filthy Rich said as he used his fore-hoof to tussle Featherweight's mane, "I dare say this young scamp is more familiar with how to handle a stallion's equipment."

twow: How do you figure that?

Spike: He’s masterbated before?

        "I... I've never touched myself before," Featherweight confessed quietly, "Not like this."

Spike: ...crap.

        The prospect of corrupting one as innocent as Featherweight was too tantalizing for Filthy Rich to bear.

        "Please don't make me," Featherweight said, as he averted his eyes from the libertine's stallionhood, "I don't want to do this."

twow: Dude, you already ate shit! When will you learn that you have NO CHOICE.

Dinky: Right after he inserts his penis into Feather’s butt.

        "You wretched buggerer," Filthy Rich said as he hit the colt across the face, "I care as little for your wants as I care for your idiot father."

        "My father died for me," Featherweight said, "He was a great stallion."

        "Indeed," Filthy Rich said as a droll smile crossed his lips, "Without his sacrifice, you wouldn't be here to service me. I suppose I at least owe him that consideration."

All: DICK.

 Featherweight felt a lump form in his throat and anger simmer within his breast.

Dinky: You know what he should do?

Spike: What?

Dinky: Take his dick, and rip it off.

(twow and Spike wince and cross their legs)

        Meanwhile, Fleur was teaching Silver Spoon how to best entice males.

twow: Look at them and blink.

Spike: Narrow your eyes and smile.

        "Before you learn how to pleasure a stallion, you must first arouse him," Fleur said, "Sit beside him and show him your bottom."

        Obediently, Silver Spoon crawled up onto the fainting couch and faced away from Fancy Pants. She blushed as he ogled her sacred private parts.

twow: (sighs)

Spike: Something wrong?

twow: I’m trying to decide it it’s worth getting mad at the alliteration.

        "Please don't look," Silver Spoon said, "I'm so ashamed."

        "As well you should be," Fancy Pants said, scoldingly, "To have a cunny as petite as yours and not share it, is a crime against nature. We'll soon remedy that; but for now though, tell me what you know about frigging a prick."

Dinky: I’m going to guess that she’s skilled at it.

twow: Depends. Does she like suckers?

        "Alas!" Silver Spoon said, blushing to the ears, "I don’t even know what you’re talking about."

        "Well then I’ll explain, my little cuntie," Fancy Pants said, as he bestowed heartfelt kisses upon the filly's bottom, "Our unique pleasure in this world is to educate little fillies, and the lessons we give are so excellent they prove unforgettable.

Spike: He acts like he cares...

twow: But Spike, he DOES care!

Dinky: About getting off.

Spread your hind legs, for if we are to teach you how to give us pleasure, it's only fair that at the same time we teach you what to do in order to receive pleasure."

        Silver Spoon stood on the couch and spread her hind legs wide enough for a hoof to pass between them. Fleur stepped in to educate her about the female body. The mare stepped forward and placed a hoof on Silver Spoon's tight vagina.

twow: “Wait, I pee out of there!”

Dinky: We KNOW what it is twow!

        "This, my dear, is called a cunt," Fleur said, "I will now tell you what you must do to your cunt in order to awaken a very felicitous sensation within you. Place one fore-hoof between your legs and lightly rub it against this little protuberance you feel here. This is what is called a clitoris."

Spike: Not according to the story.

twow: “Really? I thought it was called a sphincter!”

Dinky: I will eviscerate you.

        Silver Spoon followed the instructions. Resting her head on one end of the couch. the filly brought a fore-hoof between her legs and pressed it against her marehood. Fancy Pants adjusted her hoof and felt himself growing hard as he watched the filly discover her body for the first time.

        "That’s the way, yes!" Fancy Pants said, encouragingly, "Well?! Don’t you feel anything yet?"

Dinky: “It’s so warm!”

twow: “Time for smores!”

        "No, I truly don’t," Silver Spoon answered, naively.

        "Ah, that’s because you are still too young," Fancy Pants said, dismissively, "but years from now you’ll see the pleasures it gives."

        "Wait," Silver Spoon said, interrupting him, "I think something’s happening!"

Spike: “I’m peeing water!”

twow: “Heh, that’s not water.”

Dinky: Okay, both of you stop it.

Steel (TV): “Oh GOD, save the smores!”

        With great vigor Silver Spoon rubbed the place that had been pointed out to her. A few faint titillations convinced the filly that what she’d begun was worth continuing. She rubbed herself harder, allowing her youthful enthusiasm to run headlong into sexual discovery. Before she could bring herself to a climax however, Fleur stepped in and removed her hoof.

twow: And it magnetized back.

Spike: So that’s why stallions are attracted to mares. Mares have hidden magnets! (smacked by Dinky)

        "That's enough," Fleur said, "Your self-stimulation has achieved its purpose by arousing his desires."

        Silver Spoon panted heavily as her beet-red face turned to look at Fancy Pants. Her eyes were immediately drawn to his massive erection. Since Fancy Pants was hard as a rock, they were ready to move on to the next phase.

twow: You know that you have no hope in life when watching a filly masterbate turns you on.

Dinky: He was thinking about soap.

twow: What.

Dinky: I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Steel (TV): There’s nothing more innocent than a bar of soap!

Filthy Rich was less nuanced about his methods for generating arousal. He simply ordered for his stallionhood to be showered with kisses until it became hard. It was a request that Featherweight felt mortified to carry out, but complied in spite of the revulsion he felt. In no time, Filthy Rich was hard and leaking thin strands of precum.

Dinky: Too much info right there.

Spike: This story is turning me off to sex for a long time.

twow: Twilight will be thrilled. (smacked by Spike)

Steel (TV): Ok, THAT was a low blow.

        "Mmm, yes. Suck my stones," Filthy Rich said as his testicles were tickled by the colt's tongue. Precum dripped from the shaft onto Featherweight's nose, causing him to flinch.

        "Gently now," Filthy Rich said, cautiously, "If you bite me, I'll knock those little teeth out of your pretty little head."

twow: I’m pretty sure you aren’t allowed to damage the merchandise, dumbass.

Dinky: He’s gonna put them back.

twow: With WHAT?!

Dinky: Duct tape.

        Featherweight had managed to fit the entirety of the stallion's sweaty sack inside his mouth. Filthy Rich shivered with pleasure as he removed his balls from the colt's mouth and directed the child to prepare himself for the next phase.

Spike: Dancing!

twow: Only if they are doing the tango.

        Feeling sick from the taste of the stallion's genitals, Featherweight thought as though he would throw up. Resisting the urge, the young colt tried to not do anything to arouse Filthy Rich's anger.

        "Now, my little feathered faggot,

twow: NOW he’s doing it on purpose.

Dinky: Didn’t he write this before he met you?

twow: Means nothing!

" Filthy Rich said, "Are you aware of how to work a butter churn?"

        "Yes," Featherweight said, "We had one at the orphanage that was part of our daily chores."

        "Splendid," Filthy Rich said, "Such a task bears many similarities to your new chore. For one thing, both yield a rich cream when done properly."

twow: I could have done that better.

Spike: What, the joke?

twow: Yes. “When you churn this, expect a plentiful supply of milk.”

Dinky: That’s fucking gross twow.

twow: I’ve done my job.

        Gesturing for the colt to move closer, Filthy Rich positioned his stallionhood right in front of the child. The stallion's tool was so monstrous that the colt's spindly fore-hooves looked as though they were in danger of breaking due to the sheer weight of his cock.

Dinky: Please. Two inches is not that big.

twow: He’s bigger than Blueblood.

Spike: Really guys?

twow: You say that like I should have regrets about saying that.

        "This, my child, is called a prick," Filthy Rich said, proudly, "You have one yourself, but I dare say it's nowhere near as impressive as mine."

twow: It’s also called a penis.

Spike: Also a dick.

twow: Also a “member”

Spike: I’ve heard it be called a “shaft.”

twow: “Pole is one of them.”

Steel (TV): Can’t forget cock.

Dinky: Okay ENOUGH!

        The stallion held Featherweight's fore-hooves and proceeded to guide them up and down the length of his shaft.

        "This movement you're performing here," Filthy Rich said as he moved the colt's fore-hooves with increasingly rapid jerks, "This action is called frigging. Thus, by means of this action you frig my prick."

twow: It’s also called “jacking off.”

Spike: Also...

Dinky: DON’T. YOU. DARE.

(Meanwhile, in a DJ booth far away...)

Vinyl Scratch: (ear twitches) I just missed the euphemism motherload!

        Featherweight shuddered as some of the stallion's precum dribbled onto his hooves. This unwanted lube made the colt's job easier, as he continued the jerking motions after the libertine stopped guiding his movements. Filthy Rich leaned back and watched as the colt proceeded to give him a decent hoofjob.

twow: How do you gauge that?

Spike: His hooves went up and down.

Dinky: And not sideways.

        On the other couch, Silver Spoon had reached a similar point in her training. Having a cutie mark which symbolized her skill at cleaning silverware, the filly found it quite natural for her to polish a cock.

twow: Oh. How convenient.

        "Go to it, my child, put all your strength to it," Fancy Pants said, "The more rapid and persistent your movements, the quicker you will hasten my climax."

Dinky: And we want that shit done as FAST as possible.

        The pressure built until it could no longer be contained. Anticipating his release, Fancy Pants knocked Silver Spoon onto her back and stood over her. The frightened filly stared as his stallionhood twitched and his cock head flared ominously.

        "That’s it," Fancy Pants said, "We’re shortly going to see something, my little one."

twow: “Here comes the ra-” (smacked by Dinky)

Dinky: Horrible choice of words.

        Fancy Pants ejaculated on Silver Spoon's chest. Her belly was drizzled in his salty stallion sauce.

twow: REALLY?!

Spike: Wow. He really hates those.

Once his load was spent, he sat on the couch and reveled in his orgasm. Fleur leaned in to suck the last, lingering traces of cum from his cock, before she moved over to Sliver Spoon. Fleur then proceeded to lick the stallion's cum off of the dazed and confused filly's chest.

Dinky: How are you confused? He came on you. It’s not that deep.

twow: But it sure was plentiful. (smacked by Dinky and Spike.)

        Filthy Rich took careful aim as he had Featherweight sit back and hold his mouth open.

        "Here's your cream, my little colt cunt,"

twow: (twitches uncontrollably)

Spike: Dude, chill out!

Filthy Rich said as he blew his load all over Featherweight's face. The first drop of semen hitting his tongue prompted the colt to close his mouth.

        "You dare to close your hole when I'm using it?" Filthy Rich barked, "Open it this instant or I'll break your worthless jaw!"

Spike: And then he wouldn’t be able to use it anyway.

Dinky: Spike, we’ve established that they are all dumbasses.

Steel (TV): Pretty sure he’d find a way, anyway...

        Featherweight opened his mouth wide, allowing Filthy Rich to shoot his remaining streams directly down the child's throat.

        "There we go. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

All: YES IT WAS.

Filthy Rich said, in mock compassion, "Now swallow."

        The colt shook from disgust and shame as he forced himself to ingest the stallion's semen. Featherweight sat there and silently mourned the loss of something just as precious to him as a parent: His innocence.

        "Please," Featherweight said as cum dripped down his chin, "Please let us go. This isn't right."

twow: How long before you came to THAT conclusion?

Dinky: 32 minutes and 15 seconds.

        "I know you may feel empty inside now," Filthy Rich said, "But soon you will learn to feel completely full only when you have a cock inside you."

        Fleur looked at the other four children who had watched the events unfold with rapt attention.

        "So," Fleur said as she licked a dollop of Fancy Pants' cum from her lips, "Who's next?"

Spike: The silence was deafening.

twow: “I got the eardrops!”

        The next several weeks passed by quickly as one continuous blur of orgies and cum shots. Fleur worked to teach her students every trick she knew to make dicks spew goo. After their lessons, the six children had been transformed into the most delicious corps of friggers the castle had ever seen.

Dinky: That’s...nice?

twow: ...Once again, I got nothing.

Steel (TV): Least their memory is the first thing to give out.

Their efforts seamlessly produced semen as naturally as an apple tree produces apples.

        The children derived no pleasure from their duties. Instead, they viewed servicing the libertines as an uncomfortable daily chore that had to be endured as sexual slaves. Their only peaceful moments were within the confines of their dungeon cell.

twow: That’s a sad thought.

        "We've got to stand united," Scootaloo said, "We have to remain pure in heart, lest we become corrupted like our libertine overlords." The six children made a pact to resist the libertines influence as much as possible, but some things were beyond their control.

Dinky: Like...everything?

        Being prohibited from bathing meant that their coats were covered in a layer of unbearable body odor. The children reeked of the libertines sexual secretions and sweat. The foul smell of stale, dried semen and vaginal ejaculate only served to arouse the adults even further.

Dinky: (barfs)

twow: Oh, that is NASTY. They must have been drenched in Blueblood’s Elixir of Life.

Spike: (gags) And that entails...

Steel (TV): (Covers his mouth) Let’s... not explore that, eh?

        The children were still prohibited from being penetrated. They simply commingled with the libertines and honed their skills in stimulating the sex organs of the adults. After nearly a month of sexual slavery, the children began to feel the mental strain on their sanity.

twow: They’re still sane?!

Dinky: Wow. That is impressive.

        One night, Filthy Rich and Fancy Pants were obligated to visit the children's cell late one night after a Royal Guard reported the most blood-curdling screams emanating from the dungeon.

        The two stallions arrived and saw five of the children huddled in a corner of the cell, staring horror-struck at the flailing filly in the middle of their cage. Silver Spoon was thrashing about on the stone ground, screaming until her throat was in danger of giving out.

twow: She was dreaming about being free.

Spike: The foolishness of that drove her mad.

Steel (TV): A drink for the fallen. (Takes a drink from his alcohol)

It looked as those she had gone mad from grief.

        "What's all this then, you sobbing shit stain?"

Dinky and Spike: (looks at twow)

twow: What?

Dinky: Just waiting.

twow: I’m not mentioning it.

 Filthy Rich asked annoyed as Silver Spoon continued to bawl.

        Unlike the other children, Silver Spoon had a living parent who still cared deeply for her. This knowledge gave her a sense of loss unique amongst the libertines captives. Silver Spoon recalled cherished memories of the one who had given her life and loved her. Her cruel reality invaded Silver Spoon's tender imagination, resulting in a flood of tears.

Spike: I bet they killed her mother.

Dinky: That’s awful!

twow: But would you be surprised?

Steel (TV): I know I’m surprised with Spike.

        "It's your mama you're crying for, isn't it, my little snotface?" Fancy Pants said phlegmatically, "Come here and let me comfort you."

twow: The joke made itself.

        Unlocking the cage, the two stallions stepped inside, closing the door behind them. Fancy Pants' thunderous prick was visible for all the children to see.

All: TWO INCHES IS NOT. THAT. BIG!!!!

 The other five watched helplessly as the stallion approached Silver Spoon's fragile frame. Her tears flowed abundantly down her cheeks as she stared at the horny libertine who was eager to discharge his seed.

        "Well, bugger me with Discord's dong,"

Dinky: Oh, I’d be so happy if that happened.

 Fancy Pants said as he looked down at the quivering filly, "I dare say it's impossible for a pretty mouthful like yourself to look lovelier than you do right now."

        Ignoring his lecherous words, Silver Spoon made known the desires of her heart. She looked over at Filthy Rich, who owned her mother as a slave and begged him to grant her one request.

Spike: Wha...how?

twow: So THAT explains how she got Silver so easily.

        "Please," she said, "Use me as you like, but just let my mother know that I'm still alive."

        There was a pause as the libertines were taken aback by the audacity of a child requesting a favor of them.

twow: Oh my god, it’s not that deep.

Dinky: Yeah assholes, she’s only been sucking your dick for over a MONTH.

        "Tell her I'm... happy as a servant in the castle," Silver Spoon said as she struggled to lie with conviction, "I don't want her to worry about me. You'll tell her, won't you?"

        "I'm sure I don't know where she is now," Filthy Rich said. Silver Spoon felt her heart break.

twow: How do you lose a slave?

Spike: With effort.

        "After you were taken away, your contemptible bitch of a mother refused to work," Filthy Rich said, dispassionately, "The sorrow over her missing child consumed all her thoughts and led to her crippling depression. I have no use for shiftless servants, so I sold her to a stallion who desired her for her body."

Spike: Or money. Money’s an option.

twow: Hell, I’m surprised that he didn’t want to fuck her himself.

Dinky: Silly twow. He only gets hard at fillies.

        As Filthy Rich spoke these horrifying words to Silver Spoon, Fancy Pants groped and fondled her body. She felt as though she would be sick.

        "Please," Silver Spoon cried as she resisted the sensual nature of Fancy Pants' touch, "at least respect my sorrow. I mourn my mother’s fate. She was dear to me, and now I fear that I shall never see her again. Have pity upon my tears; grant me this one evening of respite."

Dinky: All raise your hands if you think he’ll do it...wait don’t because it’s FUCKING OBVIOUS!

twow: Is the answer “B?” (smacked by Dinky)

        The libertines were quite oblivious to her pleas, intent only on their pleasure.

        "Well, screw my sockets!" Fancy Pants exclaimed, as he began frigging his sizable prick, "I’d never have believed this scene could be so voluptuous. Lay down, my dear, that I might smear my essence on your cunt."

Spike: Wow. This stallion is a disgrace to life.

twow: I’m taking away his breathing rights.

Dinky: I got the rope!

        Without the faintest regard for her feelings, Silver Spoon complied with the stallion's request. She lay on her back with her legs spread, exposing her vagina. If this had been the deflowering hour, her merchandise could not have been better displayed. As it stood, there was still yet more to attend to before the children were allowed to be depucelated.

Spike: Is...is that a word?

twow: I can’t tell with Bronystories.

        Silver Spoon continued to sob as Fancy Pants frigged his prick, while Filthy Rich eyed the other children to make sure they didn't try to assist their friend. The two stallions soaked up the filly's grief like a pair of sadistic sponges.

Dinky: Wait for it...

twow: Oh, COME ON!!!

Dinky: There it is.

        "I'm sorry for bringing you sorrow, mama," Silver Spoon blubbered, "Wherever you are, please forgive your little Silver Spoon."

twow and Dinky: IT WASN’T YOUR FUCKING FAULT!

twow: Don’t be sorry for something you had no control over!

        Fancy Pants pressed the tip of his swollen member against the hood of Silver Spoon's clit and discharged his semen onto her pussy lips. The slimy substance slid down her slit until her entire crotch area was glazed in cum.

Spike: It looked like a glazed donut.

twow: And I can never eat those again.

        "That's as far as I dare go," Fancy Pants said, "Right now, I shan't part your feminine curtains, lest I invoke the prince's wrath; but be patient, my little cuntie, for soon you shall know the thrill of a cum-filled cooze."

twow: It’s like riding a rollercoaster that’s covered in semen.

        Silver Spoon was too emotionally exhausted to move. She knew she would never see her mother again. Unable to remain silent any longer, Scootaloo chastised the stallions.

Dinky: Nononono, Scoot, sit the hell down!

        "You monsters!" Scootaloo said as tears ran down her face, "How can you be so cruel?"

twow: The princesses.

Spike: (hits Easy button)

        With unnatural swiftness, Filthy Rich rushed over to Scootaloo, which frightened the pegasus enough to send her toppling back onto her bottom. Filthy Rich's eyes were wide and his face formed a hideous grin that made Scootaloo's blood run cold.

twow: (singing) “I fell into a burnin’ ring of fire..” wait.

Dinky: (facehoof)

        "You damned little twat," Filthy Rich said as he began foaming at the mouth, "You don't know what cruelty is. Not yet; but you'll learn it soon enough. You have my word on that."

Spike: “Guys! Filthy needs his rabies shot!”

        Scootaloo's heart was pounding from fear. Needing an outlet for her sorrows, Scootaloo thought about praying like Sister Spectrum had taught her. The words died in her mouth when Scootaloo realized that the princesses she had spent her whole life praying to were the same ones who forced her to eat shit.

twow: Well, that fucked up THAT religion for her.

        Deciding to invoke the name of a different God, Scootaloo closed her eyes and began to pray in front of the libertines

        "Discord, are you there? It's me, Scootaloo," she said, "I don't know if praying to you will result in endless torment. All I know is the fiery pits of Tartarus can't be any worse than Celestia and Luna.

twow: ........................

Dinky: Oh my fucking...

Spike: Wow. That is depressing. I don’t wanna be here anymore.

 Please, if you can hear my prayer, deliver us from these awful libertines. Help save us before our virgin bodies are deflowered."

        "You dare utter a prayer in my presence, you pious little piss hole?" Filthy Rich said, "Desiring to keep ones virginity intact is a crime worthy of death."

Spike: Then every virgin needs to die.

Dinky: They will when the princesses get a hold of them.

        "Fine!" Scootaloo said, growing indignant, "Kill me then, before you dishonor me. Free my soul of its fleshy prison so that I may soar, free from your corruption. I wish to be delivered from the torment of seeing and hearing so many horrors every day."

Dinky: Wouldn’t that be WORSE in Tartarus!

Spike: Eh.

        Scootaloo's pleas for death while extolling the virtues of innocence were more effective on the libertines than the most potent of aphrodisiacs. They felt their members harden as she begged for her purity to be preserved at the cost of her life.

        "You'll not die today, little one," Fancy Pants said, "but you must be punished for your outburst. Come forward and suck our dicks."

twow: .....Do you not even hear her?

Dinky: Uh, twow?

Spike: We might just wanna leave him.

        "Or, if you'd prefer," Filthy Rich said, "We could force little Silver Spoon to do it instead."

        Knowing the anguish that Silver Spoon had already endured today, Scootaloo reluctantly complied with their demands. Wrapping a fore-hoof around each of the pricks, Scootaloo began to expertly frig the libertines while licking precum from their tips.

        "Splendid, child," Fancy Pants said, "A mouth such as yours is wasted on prayer. You're much better suited for showing deference to our dicks."

twow: (begins to twitch)

Spike: Oh geez.

Dinky: What about eating? That’s always fun....I’m reaching, aren’t I?

Spike: So far.

        Scootaloo sucked their sweet meats for fifteen minutes before they came. While Filthy Rich preferred the company of colts, he wasn't above filling a filly's throat with his seed. He shot his essence into Scootaloo's mouth and threatened to beat her if she spat out a single drop.

twow: Did...did...DID YOU NOT HEAR HER?!?!

Dinky: Oh shit.

Steel (TV): (Puts on a pair of earmuffs.)

 Her cheeks bulged from the sheer amount of semen, but Scootaloo managed to swallow it all, while making a face of pure repugnance.

        Her penance wasn't concluded until she sucked the semen from Fancy Pants' shaft as well. Once she had swallowed both their loads, the libertines spat on her before exiting the cell and locking the door behind them.

Spike: “Next time, we will use our lemonade!”

Dinky: As long as it’s not all natural.

        "Let that be a warning to all of you," Filthy Rich said, "Prayer avails you nothing... unless you are praying to be filled with our seed."

twow: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Steel (TV): Ha! Knew these’d pay off!

        Scootaloo's body shook with revulsion as a mix of drool and cum leaked from her mouth.

        "We're damned. All of us," Scootaloo said, in defeat, "It will take an angel's miracle to save us from this hell."

Spike: Or, you could kill yourselves.

Dinky: I’m sure they’ve thought of that idea.

twow: We’re done.

Pinkie: (from TV) T? Are you okay?

twow: (shaking) No Pinkie. I am not.

Spike: Mind sharing?

twow: From her birth, Scootaloo’s been taught that the princesses are her goddesses, correct?

Dinky: Yeah...

twow: Her faith is so broken, that she’s basically praying to the devil.

Spike: Oh.

Steel (TV): Thus was the birth of satanism. You’ve gotta look to some God when your own fail you. Well... Discordism here, I suppose.

twow: Fuck this story, I’m done.

Dinky: But, you can’t!

twow: The hell I can’t. And I will.

Spike: No you won’t. I’ve seen the stuff you’ve been riffing.

twow: And was it THIS bad?

Spike: ....

twow: Exactly.

Steel (TV): You can’t honestly expect yourself to give in this early, Twow. Look back on the chapters you’ve done thus far.

twow: They were all horrible! This fucking story is horrible. I can’t take it anymore!

Steel (TV): They were horrible. Now do a count on what you’ve done. How many chapters have you riffed thus far?

twow: Seven chapters too many.

Steel: You still did seven. You have two to go. You’ve walked this much of the road, and now you want to step off the path? You know I went through this entire story, and I know what horrors await you, but they don’t amount to the Hell that you’ll suffer beyond Equestria’s borders.

twow: ....

Spike: Look twow. I’ve just met you, but you seem like an okay person. Don’t stop so soon man.

Dinky: And at any rate, I can vouch for you. (hugs twow) I don’t want you to go.

Steel: Points are being made here, T. Equestria’s an ocean-locked country anyway, and Blueblood’s enough of a dick to put you on some uncharted island 300 miles off the coast. Think of everyone you’d be leaving behind, just to ‘save’ yourself... you’ve gone through enough for this to haunt you the rest of your life. Surrendering now will stack guilt and self-hate on top of your memories.

twow: ...fine. I’ll keep going though this. Let em out Pinkie.

(The lab doors unlock and open)

Spike: (shaking twow’s hand) Hang in there. I better get back before Twilight starts to worry.

twow: You bet Spike. Go on.

(Spike leaves as twow turns back to Dinky, who has shrank down to a filly)

twow: Uh, Dinky? Do you remember anything?

Dinky: What are you talking about? I just came down here to see you for a bit!

twow: (sighs in relief) Okay. Give me a hug, then head back up.

Dinky: (hugging twow and whispering) We really must do that again twow. That was fun.

twow: Wha-

Dinky: (Letting go of twow) See you later! (She goes out of the lab as the doors shut.)

twow: Well, just gonna keep that between the two of us...

Steel: Pinkie... mind if you and I have a chat?

Pinkie: I guess. Will you be alright T?

twow: Not really. I’m failing here. Just go on, I need to think for a while.

Pinkie: Alright T. I’ll see you later.

(Pinkie pushes the button and the TV turns off with a blip.)

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 8

I’ll be very honest, after that last chapter, I just about quit. But, thanks to my friends, we’re still rolling.

Welcome to chapter 8, Rainbow Dash’s chapter. This is the second largest chapter to date. My friend KillerSteel wanted in on this chapter and I figured it’s the least I could do for him helping me through this so far.

So, let’s go ahead and jump in. 120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 8

twow: And that’s another bottle completed.

Pinkie: (from TV) T? Why are you making all that brain bleach?

twow: Because I’m going to bleach the fuck out of my mind after I’m done.

Pinkie: Are you sure that’s safe?

twow: Nope!

Pinkie: Aww T...

twow: I know Pinkie. That last chapter almost ended it though.

Blueblood: And are you ready for the next one?

twow: I really fucking hate you.

Blueblood: I know.

twow: You have no idea.

Pinkie: T, I argued with the prince until I got a gift for you.

twow: And that gift is?

(The lab doors open to reveal Killer Steel, Rainbow Dash and Derpy Hooves)

twow: Pinkie, I fucking love you right now.

(Steel and Rainbow Dash walk in like a pair of rock stars, sunglasses over their eyes as they stroll, calm as ever, into the lab.)

Steel: Yo.

Rainbow Dash: Sup?

Derpy: (hugs twow)

twow: Damn guys. All three?

Steel: We’re rolling out in force, buddy. (Flicks up his sunglasses, grinning) No way I wouldn’t participate in this.

(The lab doors slam shut and lock.)

twow: Well, let’s do this then.

Rainbow Dash: (Flicks up her sunglasses) Heh, with our track record, this’ll be nothing, Steel.

Steel: We’ll see, Dash. Let’s do this.

(Both of them sit down at the desk.)

Derpy: You only have this and two more?

twow: That’s what the fucked up unicorn says.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Steel: Love doing that!

"Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered"

        —Thomas Paine

twow: Course not. You have to kill it with fire.

Rainbow Dash: I prefer a heavy bat.

Steel: Fire’s so classic, though!

After receiving the latest reports from Fancy Pants,

Steel: Stocks were crashing that day.

Rainbow: The market wouldn’t survive this.

 Prince Blueblood walked down the hall with a giddy smirk on his face. It had been a struggle, but after two long months, the children were finally right where they should be in their training. Soon, it would be time for their deflowering and ascension.

Derpy: I’ll grab the roses!

Steel: I’ve got the halos!

Rainbow: Can’t forget the robes!

        The prince entered his chambers feeling accomplished, yet thoroughly exhausted. He marveled at how tiring it was to break the will of a child.

twow: Harder than it was last week.

Derpy: It was a Tuesday.

Steel: Those kids, man. Harder to break than a soldier!

        Blueblood was about to walk over to his bed, when he stopped cold. The prince's heart skipped a beat when he realized that there was somepony already lying on his bed.

twow: OH BOY.

Derpy: Oh mai.

        A stealthy blue pegasus had entered the prince's bed chambers.

twow: Aw, shit.

Rainbow: Prepare to be amazed.

 She was clothed in black, and wore a religious veil that hid her rainbow-colored mane from the world.

twow: Aw...FUCK.

Steel: Ready, Rainbow?

Rainbow: Heck yes.

Steel: (Glares at the screen)

        The mare was dressed as a nun from his aunt's religion,

Steel: The Church of Shiny Things.

 the Church of the Holy Sisters.

twow: Eh. Close enough.

 She wore a silver necklace of the sun and moon as a symbol of her loyalty to the princesses. Her tight black habit accentuated every curve of her body; making this "forbidden fruit" even more desirable to the prince.

Derpy: Don’t eat the apples!

Rainbow: Darn it, I haven’t eaten today!

        The black veil covered all but her blue face, while the white collar was the only contrast to her otherwise solid black outfit. Her blue, feathered wings poked through two holes in the back of her robes, which served to make the holy sister seem even more angelic.

twow: Beautiful...

Rainbow: Yeah, I am.

        Glancing over at his window, Prince Blueblood saw that it had been forced open from the outside.

Steel: A golf club lay against the wall.

Rainbow: Best breaking and entering ever.

twow: She pulled a Jack.

Derpy: “A mare chooses, a slave obeys!”

Steel: I still hate him!

        "You should consider some new locks, my prince," the nun said coyly.

Rainbow: “Those old ones were easier to break than your face is gonna be!”

        "Locks to keep ponies out have never been an issue before," Blueblood said calmly as he walked over to the window and closed it shut, "I find it much more pragmatic to focus on locks which keep ponies inside."

twow: “While I screw their brains out.”

Rainbow: “So forward. Not even any dinner, Princey?”

        As he stared at the nun, Blueblood realized that he had never met a mare like her before. In this day and age, rumors of Blueblood's cruel debauchery were known throughout the kingdom. He was hated by the citizens of Canterlot and throughout Equestria.

twow: And a lot of people on Earth.

Derpy: Really?

twow: You have no idea.

Steel: Sadly, we do.

        "Let them hate me," Blueblood thought, "so long as they fear me."

Rainbow: I’m not scared of him, though.

        In spite of the mortal peril, this nun entered his private chambers willingly and without fear. He marveled at the indomitable spirit she must possess in order to dare trespass against him.

Derpy: It was a long flight.

twow: “Damn it! I have a wing cramp!”

Rainbow: I hate those! Always right as I’m about to do a stunt!

        "You're a long way from the chapel, Sister," Prince Blueblood sneered, "What drove you to seek my chambers this night?"

twow: “Your soul. I wanna eat it.”

Rainbow: With some lima beans... (Supps her lips with an evil smile.)

        "I'm guilty of a sin," the nun said as she averted her eyes from the prince and blushed. Blueblood raised an eyebrow. He glanced around his room at the large painting of orgies which hung on the walls.

twow: “Spread em.” (smacked by both mares)

Rainbow: Like I’d even waste the time on spreading him!

        "My bed is not a confessional," Blueblood said, bemused, "but if you feel you must unburden yourself, then by all means tell me of your sin." The nun paused for dramatic effect before speaking.

        "I've been coveting your ass," the mare said flirtatiously as she gave Blueblood a seductive stare. The prince knew she wasn't referring to a donkey.

All: NO SHIT.

Steel: Oh God, first alliteration, now he thinks we’re idiots.

Rainbow: This is just insulting!

twow: Damn it! I almost missed that!

        For the first time in a long time, Blueblood felt slightly unnerved. Mares never lusted after him, unless they were merely feigning desire in a desperate attempt to save their family's lives. But this... This was altogether different.

twow: Dude, it’s not that deep. She wants your dick, give it to her.

Steel: Oh, she wants it alright.

Rainbow: Steel...

Steel: Just keep reading!

        Prince Blueblood decided to remain aloof and poured himself a stiff drink while addressing the nun.

twow: Bet that’s not the only thing that’s stiff. (brained by both mares)

Rainbow: You’re about to BE a stiff in a sec.

        "Trespassing within my private chambers is a crime punishable by death," Prince Blueblood said, coldly, "Why risk your life for a chance to know me intimately?"

Derpy: “I’m insane?”

Rainbow: “I lost a bet?”

Steel: “I won the lottery?”

        "Your name is a golden bell hung in my heart," the mare said, passionately, "I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name." The nun seemed sincere in her desires, but Blueblood was still suspicious.

Rainbow: (GAGS) So SAPPY.

        "What of your vow of celibacy?" Blueblood said, "You may not care if harm befalls your physical body, but I know a devote mare like yourself would never jeopardize the 'purity of her soul' for the pursuit of carnal knowledge."

Steel: “Purity of soul? Psh. Overrated.”

The nun stared at Blueblood as though she had already thought this through in her mind.

Rainbow: “Then, I’m gonna crack his head against the counter...”

Steel: “Nopony will find the evidence...”

        "It is written in the princesses' scriptures that 'whatsoever goeth into the mouth doth not defile the body, but whatsoever cometh out of the mouth defiles the body,'" the mare said, "So, I reason that fellatio isn't a sin, provided that I swallow."

Derpy: Seems legit.

twow: Bitch wants to get LAAAAID.

Rainbow: Quiet.

        Blueblood could tell she was wresting the scriptures to suit her sinful desires, but he wasn't about to point this out. The slutty virgin was in want of a good screw and Blueblood was only too happy to supply it.

twow: Trust me, we know.

Steel: ‘Supply it’? Mate, in this world, you wouldn’t be worth five seconds of a mare’s time.

        Thoroughly convinced of her sincerity, Blueblood set his drink down and joined the nun on his bed. He lay on his back, allowing her full access to his currently-flaccid stallionhood.

        "I'm ready for the worship service to begin, Sister," Blueblood said, mockingly, "Come lie with me and prepare your sacraments."

twow: And don’t forget to tithe 10%.

Rainbow: Don’t forget... the worship always ends with a blood sacrifice!

        The nun crawled over to the prince and stared reverently at his penis. Bowing her head, she offered a prayer before continuing.

        "Dear Celestia," the nun said. "please bless this meat I'm about to eat, that it may nourish my body with rich, healthy seed. In Luna's name I pray. Amen."

Derpy: I just barfed in my mouth.

Steel: Well, at least she won’t have a lot to eat...

        Blueblood couldn't help but smirk at her religious compulsion to offer supplication before every meal. The nun then lifted the prince's pulsing package and pressed it to her lips. She could feel his hot shaft growing stiff as she licked it up and down.

twow: BLUH.

Derpy: He’s doing it on purpose now.

Steel: Should start a tally... (takes out some paper and scribbles down three lines)

Rainbow: You aren’t gonna have enough paper in the world, Steel.

Steel: Can’t blame a guy for trying!

        Starting from the root of the penis, she licked the underside of his shaft in one continuous motion until she reached the tip. The nun took the cock head into her mouth and suckled on it, running her tongue in circles around Blueblood's fleshy knob. When she released his prick, a brilliant sheen of her saliva coated his bulb and slowly dripped down his shaft.

Steel: The saliva was given the Nobel Piece Prize for Theoretical Physics.

Rainbow: I’m so proud of it...

        "Celestia, forgive me," the nun said as she played with the tip, "but I can't help myself."

        "You needn't live in fear of my aunts," Blueblood said assuringly, "I stopped caring about what they think long ago. It is fate that rules us, my little pony, not any god or goddess."

twow: Besides, it’s not like they’ll care.

Derpy: They’ll probably join in.

Steel: Doesn’t Fate imply a higher power?

Rainbow: Given Blueblood? I don’t think even God himself would be able to keep him down without twisting his little head off.

        "But my lord," the mare said, "by right of your power, nothing is beyond your reach. You're a god amongst ponies!"

        "I'm no god!" Blueblood snapped back, "Unlike my aunts, I'm still regrettably mortal." There was a hint of jealousy in his voice, as Blueblood resented the oppressive march of time, which his aunts had somehow managed to subjugate to their will. The fact that they had kept their secret to eternal youth hidden from the prince was a sore subject between them.

twow: They slice the shit out of the throats of virgins. Not that deep.

Derpy: WHAT?!

twow: And that chapter was actually the least worst so far.

Steel: At least they died... reeelatively quickly!

        "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are Goddesses," the nun said sincerely.

        "So says the kingdom, and so its citizens prefer to believe," Blueblood said, bitterly, "Such myths are useless to me."

        After that heated exchange, neither pony spoke for several minutes. The only sounds made were by the nun as she sloppily sucked his shaft.

twow: (facedesks)

Derpy: Twow?!

Steel: (Marks another one on the tally)

Rainbow: Jeeze, this makes me sound like a pro.

Steel: You aren’t? (Kicked in the balls by Rainbow.) OH GOD.

 Taking him an inch at a time, she leaned her head down until she felt her gag reflex take hold. The nun drooled and sputtered on Blueblood's member while trying to please him. The prince closed his eyes and shuddered in prurient pleasure as she nibbled his noxious knob.

twow: Oh come on!

Derpy: Ignore it twow!

twow: I can’t! It’s taunting me!

Steel: Aaaaand again... (marks it down)

        "Aunt damn it!" Blueblood said, "A mare with such a pleasant tongue has no right to be celibate."

Steel: So the Princesses are Goddesses.

Rainbow: Make up your mind!

        The nun was unable to respond, as her mouth was quite full. She breathed heavily through her nose as she bobbed her head with a faster tempo; much to the delight of the prince.

        I'm starting to doubt your innocence, sister," Blueblood said, "To have become so adept in fellatio, you must surely have serviced other stallions before."

Derpy: Maybe she just likes suckers.

 She slid his shaft out of her mouth and took a gasp of air before responding to his statement.

        "I swear, my prince, you are my first," the nun said breathlessly as she licked around the root of his cock, "My sudden onset of carnal skills came by taking a leap of faith. Our personal growth comes from spontaneous acts without the benefit of experience."

twow: (puts cellphone down) Sorry about that, I was just calling bullshit.

        The nun lowered her head and managed to fit the prince's testicles inside her mouth. She sucked on his balls, delivering just enough pressure to keep it from becoming unpleasant. Blueblood moaned in approval.

        "Bring your cloistered clit closer," Blueblood commanded, "I wish to prepare it for when I enter your holy of holies."

twow: (faceceilings)

Derpy: How in the what?!

Steel: (Marks it down while looking up at him) Aaand again... damn.

        The nun obeyed his command and repositioned herself so that she and the prince were in a sixty-nine position. Her lips wrapped around his dick as she struggled to take his entire length.

Rainbow: Oh come on! My mouth’s way bigger than that!

Derpy: Um Rainbow? Might have been a bit too much info there.

Rainbow: Are you kidding? If my mouth was that small, I’d be dead from starvation... well, granted point.

        The nun's flowing black habit enveloped Blueblood. He lifted her layers of clothing to expose her...

        "Metal chastity panties?" Blueblood said dubiously.

twow: Wut.

Steel: The blacksmiths were mighty proud of that one! They don’t get out much.

        Underneath her habit

Steel: was a hobby.

, the nun was wearing cast iron underwear designed to preserve her virginity. The crotch of the panties looked like a Venus Flytrap, although a penis flytrap would have been a more accurate moniker.

Derpy: That sounds really annoying.

Steel: Maybe those blacksmiths are a little overprotective...

        Her glistening virgin mound was covered by a thin vertical gash in her iron undergarments. Each side of the metal opening was lined with long, narrow spikes that jutted out at an angle, making any type of penetration impossible. Her metal muff buffer also stopped her from pleasuring herself.

twow: (facefloors)

Derpy: How in the hell did you DO that?!

Steel: (Marks it down) Well, points for flexibility.

 The only thing that could safely pass through the spiked slit was her urine whenever she relieved herself.

twow: ....

Steel: Yeah... this is just...

        Directly above her serrated snatch shield was another opening located over her anus.

twow: HE’S DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!!!!!

Steel: Wow.

Rainbow: See? Not enough paper in the world.

 It was ironically shaped like a heart and was just small enough to make buggering impossible.

Steel: Should give ‘em to Celestia. Then she could really show her love to her friends! (Kicked in the balls by Celestia) AUGH.

twow: Smooth Steel.

        Blueblood smiled as he imagined the nun's shit coming out in heart-shaped logs as it passed through the metal hole. He reflected on how cumbersome it would be to regularly clean such a device.

Derpy: That would be AWFUL to clean.

Steel: Bleach. Loooots of bleach.

Rainbow: That’d HURT.

        Above the metal heart was a third hole for her rainbow-colored tail to poke through.

        With a loud, wet slurping sound, the nun allowed Blueblood's tool to slide out of her mouth.

Rainbow: So he has a hammer down there?

twow: STOP. Hammertime!

        "I can sense you're staring at my chastity belt," the nun said, "Celestia insists that her nuns wear them at all times because it's very important that we are kept pure for her."

twow: That’s so she can cut your throat later.

Rainbow: Apparently I’ve got Peeker Sense.

Steel: A vital skill for any mare.

The nun was unaware of Celestia's real purpose for keeping them virgins and was content to follow her commands blindly.

Steel: “Virgins disappearing from the streets? Naaaah, nothin’ wrong there!”

Rainbow: “The Guard’s reallynot keeping up.”

        "Pitiable wretch, with your caged clit,"

Steel: Oh good GOD.

twow: ...

Derpy: Let it go twow...

Steel: I’M starting to feel it now, Derpy.

 Blueblood said, "What must it be like to live without pleasure?"

Rainbow: “Pretty good.”

Steel: “More time for teaching.”

        "I experience pleasure by helping others," the nun said, assuringly, "There are joys to be found in this world beyond the physical."

Derpy: Like what?

twow: If I make the joke, I’ll be deemed as racist.

Steel: Riffing, a more spiritual practice.

        "Save the liturgy for your congregation," Blueblood said contemptuously, "Instead of presuming to give me advice, you should instead focus on giving me head. You're much better suited for the latter."

twow: I guess you could say that she’s aHEAD of the game! (smacked by everyone)

Steel: Break out the 101 books, you need a refresher after that one!

        "As you wish, my prince," the nun said as she resumed servicing him. She could feel the warmth of his penis against her tongue as the pulse of his throbbing member matched the rapid beat of her heart.

twow: It’s like a twisted love story.

Derpy: Like Twilight?

twow: DO NOT UTTER THAT NAME. Unless you’re talking about our friend Twilight, that’s cool.

        Blueblood could feel the pressure building in his balls

Steel: “SHE CANNA TAKE MUCH MOOR, CAP’N!”

 as the nun brought him closer to orgasm. While he had hoped to cum inside her untapped twat, Blueblood would have to settle for shooting his seed down the nun's throat, as no penetration could be made without first removing her cumbersome cunt container.

twow: (facewalls)

Derpy: O_O

Steel: (Marks another one down) Wanna bet on which breaks first, his face or the wall?

Rainbow: Betting on the wall.

        "My prince, you are like the shimmering stars in the night sky," the nun said passionately as she kissed his knob, "For years I flew to you, knowing full well I could never reach you; yet I continued to try in spite of myself."

Rainbow: Oh dear CELESTIA. Again?

Steel: The alliteration?

Rainbow: No, making me sound like a lovestruck pansy.

Steel: And the alliteration?

Rainbow: ... Yeah.

twow: Damn it.

        "And now that you've finally caught your star, my little sparrow," Blueblood said, "How does it feel?"

        "Your passion burns with the heat of a thousand suns," the nun said, "I fear your brilliant radiance will sear me, both body and soul."

Derpy: It’s gonna burn her.

        "Enjoy the warmth while you can, Sister," Blueblood said, "for we shall all eventually grow cold in the chilly embrace of death."

twow: And we all can’t WAIT for when it’s your turn.

        At the mention of the word 'death,' the nun's heart started to race. Now that Blueblood was sufficiently distracted with his impending release, the nun began to proceed with her divine mission.

Rainbow: Oooo, now I’m interested...

Steel: Heeeere we go...

        Reaching her right fore-hoof within her robes, she clandestinely produced a lightning bolt-shaped dagger, which she concealed from the prince's view. The handle of the blade was attached to her hoof with metal clips to hold it in place.

Derpy: Wait, she’s gonna kill him?

twow: :DDDDDDDDDDD

Steel: ...

Rainbow: Lighten up, Steel! We’re gonna have a proper ending to this fic!

        Her chastity belt was positioned directly above Blueblood's face. Without giving him time to react, the nun sat down on his head, pressing the sharp spikes into his right cheek. Moving quickly, she scooted her crotch across his face, scraping her metal panties against his skin and creating deep gashes.

twow: Damn. That’s some commitment right there.

Steel: World’s deadliest underwear.

        Blueblood let out a scream of pain and surprise

Steel: And by God, it was music.

Derpy: The soundtrack went platinum.

 as hot blood flowed from the fresh wound in his face. The nun turned around to face the injured Blueblood. Squatting at the foot of the bed,

she brandished the dagger and held it threateningly to the root of his erect cock.

twow: This is wrong, but I feel so happy right now.

Rainbow: Now just a quick stroke, and the fic’s over.

Her other hoof was pressed against his member to hold it in place.

        Blueblood dared not move a muscle, for fear of losing his stallionhood. The nun and Blueblood stared angrily at each other. Blood dripped from his face onto his chest and bed. The same blood also coated the spikes on the nun's panties.

Derpy: Why are you waiting?!

Rainbow: Yeah, seriously!! CUT HIM! CUT HIM NOW!

        "Where are the children?!" the mare screamed, "What have you done with them, you unholy bastard?!"

twow: Oh shit. Is this the nun Scoot was talking about?

Steel: Spectrum.

Rainbow: Wait, what? Scootaloo? Steel, what the hay is this!?

Steel: ... Just keep reading.

        It quickly dawned on Blueblood that the nun's seduction had all been a clever ruse to rescue the orphans.

Rainbow: Oh holy Celestia...

 Now, he found himself bleeding from the face as a blade was pressed threateningly against his member.

twow: Which SHOULDN’T be there anymore!

Steel: Fics can’t be wish fulfillment. Damn you, rules!

        Realizing that any sudden movements would jeopardize his tool of conquest, Blueblood kept perfectly still. The nun impatiently awaited his response as she pressed the dagger against his erect flesh.

twow: I swear, if she doesn’t swing that thing...

Steel: Something else will be, that’s for sure.

Blueblood thought about the children held captive in the dungeon. He imagined the pained screams they would make as their anuses were sodomized for the first time. These thoughts were enough to bring the prince to climax.

Steel: Aaaand this is why I’m not gonna let anyone near my kids.

Derpy: What. The. Fu-

twow: Derpy!

Rainbow: She’s right! Steel, you never told me about any of this!!

Steel: Sorry. Thought you knowing that would lead to a lot of broken computers.

Rainbow: I’m gonna break you in half after this!

        The nun's head was positioned above his cock. Blueblood let out a groan as he ejaculated into her right eye. The prince's first shot of semen partially blinded the nun. She flinched from the stinging discomfort, which offered Blueblood a small window of opportunity to defend himself.

Steel: Sadly, his movement caused his member to be sliced. The End, let’s go home.

twow: Yay!

        He used his strong hind legs to kick the nun square in the chest, which sent her toppling to the ground.

Derpy: (handing out earmuffs) You might wanna put these on guys.

Steel: (Chugs some AJ Daniels)

Rainbow: (Snatches the bottle and chugs as well)

twow: WHY DIDN’T YOU CUT IF OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF????!!!!!

Rainbow: IDIOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

 Blueblood sat up while holding a fore-hoof to his bleeding face. The pain was mitigated by the pleasure of his orgasm, as the last several spurts of Blueblood's seed fell upon his satin sheets.

Steel: Euphoria. Apparently, a great painkiller.

Rainbow: AFTER I CLEAVED HIS FACE OPEN.

        The would-be assassin landed on her hooves with impressive agility.

        "I kick ass for Celestia!" the nun shouted before brandishing her dagger and recklessly charging Prince Blueblood.

twow: Okay, that’s a sweet battle cry.

Steel: Oh hell yeah.

Rainbow: FINALLY, she sounds like me! I KICK ASS FOR CELESTIA!

Steel: Probably shouldn’t shout that in public...

        "Death to tyrants!" the nun said as she flew more rapid then eagles while aiming her blade at Blueblood's neck.

        She had originally hoped to gather information from the prince before severing his stallionhood. With Blueblood now able to defend himself, killing him became the nun's new top priority.

Derpy: If you had killed him, you still could have looked for the foals.

Rainbow: Nnnn... yeah, I coulda kicked butt right through the castle.

After purging the Royal Sisters' castle of his evil influence, the nun would search for the missing children.

Rainbow: Great minds think alike, Derpy!

 She would find where Blueblood had hidden them, even if she had to take the castle apart stone by stone.

Steel: Brick by brick, stone by stone, cock by cock.

Rainbow: Because NONE of those stallions deserve theirs!

        "Celestia and Luna!" the nun cried, "Give me the strength to punish the guilty!"

        The prince grit his teeth in rage as blood flowed from the gash on his right cheek. The nun confronted Blueblood on the bed as the two indomitable wills clashed. Neither one gave an inch as they wrestled over possession of the dagger.

twow: How in the hell is he stronger than Rainbow?

Steel: ... That’s a really good question. The Reason? (Kicked in the balls by the logic of the universe)

Rainbow: Yeah, let’s not do that...

        "You contemptible cunt," Blueblood hissed as he headbutted the nun.

twow: (faceplanets)

Derpy: What.

Steel: (Marks another one down, looking over at Twow) Went right through the floor...

Rainbow: Dang.

The two fell off the bed together and continued to wrestle on the floor. She spat in his face as her saliva mingled with the blood from his wound.

Steel: He died from the resulting horrific infection. The End.

        "You dishonor the Holy Sisters with your sins," the nun said, as she struggled to overpower Blueblood, "You've only been allowed to live this long because the princesses would not deign to soil their hooves by squashing such a loathsome insect."

twow: Or...because it’s their fault that he’s like this.

Rainbow: You’re kidding.

Steel: Nope.

        "You damned, deluded fool!" Blueblood said, laughing,

twow: (facesuns)

Derpy: Oh twow!!!

Steel: That’s gonna be one great tan.

(Far off, at Canterlot Castle)

Celestia: I feel a disturbance in the Sun!

 "You don't know the true nature of the gods you worship! It will be an act of mercy to end your wasted life."

Rainbow: Says the stallion who only cares about getting off.

twow: To foals, no less.

        The prince pinned the nun to the ground as a look of insane rage filled his countenance.

Steel: The audience laughed anyways, due to the cut.

 Pressing his hooves against her windpipe, Blueblood started choking her. In spite of the tense nature of the situation, the manic libertine managed to make jokes at the mare's expense.

Derpy: Because that’s...I got nothing.

Steel: People like abusive relationships...?

        "Seeing as you're already blue," the prince said, "I wonder what color you'll turn when I choke you?"

Derpy: Purple.

twow: The answer is B.

Steel: Errr... red?

Rainbow: Good question.

        The nun's eyes went wide with fear as she felt her strength waning.

Rainbow: (Eye twitches, grip tightening on the bottle)

 Her vision became blurry as her lungs cried out for oxygen. No longer possessing the strength to fight back, the nun's limbs hung limp at her side.

Rainbow: (Shaking uncontrollably)

Derpy: Rainbow...

 Her assassin's dagger clattered against the ground. Just before everything went black, she reflected on her mission and the children she had failed.

twow: And bares the question of why you didn’t slice his dick off at the base.

Rainbow: (Burning holes in the monitor with her eyes)

 A loving orange pegasus stuck out in her mind.

        "Scootaloo," the nun said weakly, "my... little angel..."

Rainbow and Derpy: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—

twow: Aw shit.

Rainbow: (Smashes the bottle on the table) YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!!

        Then everything went black.

twow: Break. Now.

Steel: (Flicks his hood up, shaking his head) Aye.

Steel: And that, ladies and gentleman, is why I hate Chapter 8.

Rainbow: Scootaloo’s in this!? Steel, tell me right now what you read! Tell me!

Steel: When we’re only halfway through? You’ll find out soon enough. But Scootaloo is in this.

Rainbow: S-She didn’t RIFF this stuff, did she?!

Steel: No. Unlike you, she’s still a kid.

Rainbow: Thank goodness... still, why didn’t you tell me anything?

Steel: Tough stuff to share, and it’s the kind of thing that you have to walk in blind to do properly.

Rainbow: ... You read all this, so why’re you doing it?

Steel: Call it a sacrifice for a friend. You’re my best partner as well, so I couldn’t just let you fellas do it alone.

Rainbow: Well, aren’t you suicidal.

Derpy: It’s okay Rainbow. At least you didn’t have to read chapter 5.

twow: Bluh.

Derpy: You doing okay?

twow: No.

Rainbow: The PROBLEM is I wasn’t told about any of this story before I came here.

twow: I wasn’t told about any of it, and I’ve been here for the entire story.

Rainbow: You should get a freakin’ medal for this.

Derpy: When we get out of here Rainbow, we are heading straight to the princesses.

twow: Der-

Derpy: No, I’m tired of this. Maybe they’ll help or SOMETHING.

twow: ...I guess.

Rainbow: No. After this CHAPTER, I’m going to them. This is insane.

Steel: Rainbow, we aren’t going to them. Not yet.

Rainbow: Are you crazy!? Why’re you two torturing yourselves with this!?

Steel: I tortured myself when I read through the story. Right now, I’m backing up a friend so he doesn’t get banished.

Rainbow: You’ve left out so many facts of this, Steel.

Derpy: Why shouldn’t we go to them Steel?

twow: It doesn’t matter Derpy. We’re here, so let’s get this done.

Derpy: I’m going to bring this up again.

twow: ...

Steel: And I’ll answer the question. But after this chapter’s done. Rainbow, you gonna manage?

Rainbow: I’ve dealt with worse... just hits a sore spot with Scootaloo being in it.

Steel: Then let’s keep up the pressure.

twow: This is gonna hurt like a bitch.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

        When the nun awoke, it was sometime the next day. She was in the back of a wooden cage being pulled through Canterlot by a pair of Royal Guards.

Steel: She was the main attraction of the Canterlot Circus.

Rainbow: Hey!

 She had no idea how long she had been unconscious or where she was being taken. All the mare knew was that she had failed in her mission to assassinate the prince.

twow: No shit.

Derpy: Be nice!

Rainbow: To her? I would’ve cut his dick off and threatened him with his LIFE.

        She rubbed her sore neck, which was bruised from the prince's hooves. Her whole body ached, but there was an especially sharp pain in her back. She tried to spread her wings, when a sickening realization dawned on her. The primary feathers on her wings had been clipped, making flight impossible.

twow: And I’m actually surprised he didn’t pull a Pinkamena and cut them off.

Derpy and Rainbow: (shudders)

Steel: Something to play with later?

Rainbow: You’re sick.

        She had never felt more vulnerable in her life. The trauma of being incapable of flight, mingled with her mounting sense of hopelessness prompted her to vomit in a corner of the cage. She wiped the puke from her mouth as she stared out the wooden bars and attempted to get her bearings as to where she was being taken.

twow: (singing) “A town called...New Jersey!”

Steel: Oh Lordy... I don’tneed to be thinking about Jersey Shore right now!

 Compulsively, she pressed a hoof to her sun and moon necklace and rubbed it to invoke the protection of the Holy Sisters.

Steel: A brown missile was fired from the castle and hit Blueblood in the head. The—

Rainbow: I can see there’s more. Stop getting my hopes up.

        Before the mare knew what was going on, the cart shuddered to a stop. Her heart was pounding in her chest as the door to her cage opened. Two stern looking guards pulled her out by a rope tied around her neck.

Derpy: The rope wasn’t necessary. She couldn’t fly anyway.

twow: Bad Derpy! Stop trying to think of nice things they could do!

Steel: Besides, it’s obvious what the rope is for!

        Escorted by the guards, the nun was led up some wooden steps onto a platform. After making the climb with regrets, she saw a truly terrifying sight.

twow: It was Mare Do Well.

Rainbow: “Darn it, Twilight!”

Steel: She’s dead.

Rainbow: Oh. “Darn it, Fluttershy!”

twow: (twitches)

Steel: Sore spot.

Rainbow: Whoops.

        In the middle of the platform was a tall upright frame from which an angled blade was suspended. This blade was held in place with a rope. The sinister device was used to carry out executions by decapitation and was known as a guillotine.

Derpy: Well...at least it’ll be quick?

Steel: It’ll be about as ‘quick’ as Chapter 5.

twow: (twitches harder)

        Standing beside it was a very sullen looking Prince Blueblood. White gauze was tied to his face over his right cheek. The nun would've taken some small measure of satisfaction in disfiguring his face, if she weren't afraid for her life. A sizable crowd had gathered to watch the humiliation and execution of the attempted assassin.

Derpy: He didn’t do that one on purpose twow! Don’t hurt yourself!

Rainbow: I shouldn’t even BE an attempted assassin! HE. SHOULD. BE. DEAD.

        "You are here today to bear witness to the execution of a vile assassin in the guise of a nun," Blueblood said to the crowd, "A creature who's depravity is rivaled only by her blasphemy."

Steel: Who is depravity? Ha, Rainbow’s Depravity!

Rainbow: Ahhh, grammar errors. I missed you so much!

        The nun looked out into the crowd. They stared at her silently as

Steel: A hero suddenly killed Blueblood in front of them all.

Rainbow: Seriously? Going bad story tropes now?

Steel: If anything, it’s to make this story more tolerable. Gimme a bad OC!

twow: Starlight, I choose you! (smacked by Fallen)

Derpy: I’m not even surprised anymore.

Steel: You learn to accept these things, Derpy.

 Blueblood spoke. Some members of the audience looked sympathetic towards her, while others smiled with sadistic glee at the prospect of a public execution.

        "The loathsome wretch dared to confront me in my bedchambers

Steel: “And beat me at a hoofwrestle!”

," Blueblood said, "Through sheer cunning, I managed to subdue the assailant and thwart her assassination attempt."

twow: (stares at the screen)

Derpy: What are you thinking?

twow: I’m trying to decide if it’s worth slamming my head into the TV.

Steel: Pinkie, can you afford a new one? (Marks a few notches down on his tally)

Pinkie: Yup! And T would probably just make a new one!

        Several members from the nun's congregation stood in the crowd, including a fellow nun, Sister Sunflower.

        Sister Sunflower's coat was a dark pink, with a pink and light pink striped mane that was hidden behind her black veil. Her cutie mark was three smiling flowers. She was the head teacher at the orphanage and had become despondent after six of the orphans were taken away.

Rainbow: TAKEN AWAY!?

Steel: So continues the downward spiral.

twow: Oh damn. I just realized that’s Cheerilee.

 Her grief was multiplied as she watched helplessly while her best friend was led to the guillotine. Sister Sunflower got as close to the platform as possible, before her path was blocked by Royal Guards.

Derpy: Get out of there before they find a hair wrong and put you up there!

Rainbow: How DOES she do her mane like that, anyway?

Steel: Blood of small children. (Kicked in the balls by Cheerilee) HNGH!

Rainbow: Seriously, stop lining yourself up for that!

twow: Where in the fuck did that COME from?!

        Sister Sunflower wanted to say something in defense of her friend, but she knew that any show of support would brand her as an accomplice. All those who felt sympathetic towards the accused remained stone silent, fearing for their own lives.

twow: Which makes my repeat my question. Why don’t they rise up against Blueblood?

Steel: We read about that in the last chapter, didn’t we? Too afraid to.

twow: It’s still a valid question.

Rainbow: Cowards, the lot of them.

        "For her treacherous crimes, this rainbow-maned assassin shall be put to death," Blueblood said as he gestured to the guillotine, "We're going to make her twenty percent shorter in ten seconds flat."

twow: FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!

Steel: Oh, that’s real nice. I’Mnot allowed to use memes, but he is? BULLSHIT.

Rainbow: It wasn’t even that funny!

        "No!" the assassin screamed as she tried to run, only for her rope to grow taut. She flapped her now useless wings in a desperate escape attempt. Some of the more sadistic members of the audience laughed at her futile struggle.

Derpy: And were promptly choked to death by chocolate muffins.

twow: They never saw it coming...

Steel: Always the evil baker on the corner.

 Sister Sunflower looked away. She couldn't bear to watch her friend's anguished flailing.

        "Guards, do your duty," Blueblood said. The nun prayed loudly as she was led to the guillotine.

        "Oh, Celestia!" she cried, "Oh Luna! Why have you forsaken me? Have mercy on your poor servant! I was only trying to do your will!"

twow: Ehhhhh...

Derpy: I’m sorry, but if they caused him to be like this, then they wouldn’t want him dead.

Rainbow: But... wait, the Princesses made him like that?

Steel: It does offer pause, though. Blueblood’s the kind of stallion you’d definitely want dead. Useless, loud, obnoxious, a prideful conqueror by every extent. Everything that the Princesses want to HIDE.

        This last sentence gave Blueblood a moment of pause. He approached the nun as her head was placed between two blocks of wood to hold it in place.

        "What was that, you blighted bint?"

twow: (facetrees)

Derpy: There’s a tree in here?!

Rainbow: Huh... reminds me of Twilight’s first sleepover. Heh, AJ still laughs over that night.

 Blueblood said, "You claim to be doing the will of my aunts?"

        "I failed to fulfill their orders," the nun said, despondently, "I hate failure."

        Blueblood smacked the nun's face in an effort to make her focus on his question.

        "What do you mean?" Blueblood asked, "Who ordered the assassination?"

twow: “Well, there was this little voice in my head...”

Steel: “I saw them!”

        "I was granted an audience with the divine," the nun said reverently, "While I was saying my evening prayers, Celestia and Luna appeared in my bedroom. They told me of your wicked deeds and your plans for the children. While their purity prevented them from killing you directly, they found your abominations worthy of death.

twow: Rainbow, did you just go batshit insane?

Derpy: The Princesses are gonna deflower them as well! I think.

Steel: More fun for them!

They absolved me of my sins and commissioned me with a sacred duty. I was commanded by the Goddesses to end your evil reign and save the children from corruption."

Steel: Ding.

        Thinking about the orphans caused the nun to cry again.

        "Please!" she begged, "I know my life is forfeit, but please show mercy to the children! Don't taint their souls for your perverse pleasure!

twow: (facewalls)

Derpy: Ouch.

Steel: That definitely left a dent...

Rainbow: Even I can’t do that. Wow!

Spare my precious little angels, I beg you!"

        The prince was no longer listening to her pleas.

Steel: All that sperm he keeps flinging everywhere clogged up his ears.

 He had stopped paying attention to the nun after she mentioned being commanded to smite him.

        Blueblood slowly turned his head and stared at Canterlot Castle with a sense of foreboding. If the nun's story was to be believed, then that meant somewhere inside the castle, his aunts were plotting against him.

Derpy: I could get down with that.

twow: (singing) “Yeah! Get down!” (smacked by both mares)

Steel: Ugh.

        Had Celestia and Luna really ordered him to be assassinated? Was the nun telling the truth, or was she just a deluded religious fanatic? Did she merely imagine the Royal Sisters paying her a visit, or was she the first in a series of his aunts' assassins bent on his destruction?

twow: If they all suck as much as Rainbow did, then you SHOULD be fine. No offence Rainbow.

Rainbow: None taken. I’ll show you how good I can assassinate later, anyway.

Steel: ... (Simply makes a cautious glance at Rainbow)

        Blueblood looked out into the audience with a twinge of fear in his countenance. He felt the pain flare up in his face wound as he wondered who amongst that crowd would be the next attempted assassin.

twow: (facescreens)

Derpy: Are you going to keep doing stuff like that?!

twow: I’LL STOP WHEN IT DOES!

Steel: Or when your medical bill gets too high...

"If only all of Canterlot had just one neck..." Blueblood thought, bitterly.

Steel: That’s nice. I just pictured Canterlot as a massive hybrid organism.

Rainbow: Oh Luna in Heaven, that’s— (gags)

        Regaining his composure, an evil smile crossed Blueblood's lips.

Derpy: “Time for cupcakes.”

        "If my next assassin is out there," Blueblood thought, "I'd better show them the price they pay for failure."

twow: Fuck. Now Rainbow’s going to suffer.

        Blueblood stood in front of the nun while facing the crowd. She could see his balls and ass at eye level.

Derpy: Is that gonna be on the test?

twow: Yes.

Derpy: (writes something down)

Rainbow: That’s one weird test...

        "Let the fate of this traitor to the crown serve as a warning to you all," Blueblood said, "Naught but humiliation and death awaits those who defy Prince Blueblood!"

        Blueblood stepped aside and gave a nod to his Royal Guards. Several armored stallions stepped forward and the nun could tell they were all sporting massive erections.

twow: .....

Derpy: Hang in there twow. You to Rainbow.

Rainbow: Trying, darn it... trying...

        "Oh, Goddess!" the nun exclaimed, "No, please! Mercy! Mercy!"

        Her flowing, black dress was ripped to reveal her unattractive cast iron underwear. A series of snickers arose from the guards and several ponies in the crowd. The modest nun blushed and tried to hide the shame with her tail.

twow: If that’s supposed to be there if you’re a nun, why are you ashamed?

Derpy: Because they don’t understand.

Rainbow: (Blushes) If the underpants were meant to be taken off... there wouldn’t be a darned opening.

        A unicorn guard used his magic to levitate a hammer and chisel over to the nun. With several well placed hits, the metal panties cracked and were soon removed. The nun flicked her tail as she felt a breeze blow across her bare bum for the first time in nearly a decade.

twow: Letting that one go.

Derpy: Really?

twow: My brain moved. I think.

Steel: That’s devotion though!

Rainbow: Jeeze, I don’t think the breeze would be something everypony would notice...

        A pale blue pegasus stallion with a dark blue mane stood at attention as the nun's virgin marehood was exposed.

        "Soarin'," Blueblood said, addressing the pegasus, "As my new Captain of the Guards, you may have the honor of deflowering her cunt."

twow: (spazzes out)

Derpy: Oh no! Bre-

twow: No Derpy. Not yet. For me and Rainbow, we’re gonna need to speed though this. Please.

Rainbow: That son of a...

Steel: (Bows his head, using his hood to hide his face) And here we go...

        Soarin' smiled and ruffled his feathers as he approached the immobilized nun.

        "No!" she begged, "Kill me now, please! Grant me a swift death, rather than this lingering ignominy."

Derpy: I need a new dictionary.

twow: “The Blueblood Edition 2013”

Steel: “Featuring 300 different ways to say penis!”

Rainbow: “Alliteration is our greatest subject!”

        "A quick death is far too kind for you," Blueblood said, venomously, "A filthy traitor such as yourself deserves torture first."

        The nun cried and struggled futilely against her restraints. She whimpered pitiably as the Captain of the Guards drew ever nearer.

Derpy: Get AWAY FROM HER!

Steel: Oh God, this is like that Britney Spears thing. “LEEAVE HER ALOOONE!”

        Soarin's cock was what helped secure his new position as Captain of the Guards.

Steel: Wow, Equestria’s military must suck pretty hard! (Kicked in the balls by Luna) OH GOD!

 Filthy Rich had requested to be put in charge of finding a suitable replacement after the previous Captain committed suicide.

twow: Hmm. WONDER WHY THAT HAPPENED.

Rainbow: Armor’s dead too!?

Steel: You don’t wanna know why.

        Filthy Rich made his selection after conducting a queer orgy in which he was buggered by all willing candidates. Soarin' stood out as the clear winner, as his cock was one of the most beautiful and majestic tools Filthy Rich had ever laid thighs on.

twow: And read that again knowing that a male wrote that.

Derpy: Ewwww.

Steel: Simply fabulous!

Soarin's stallionhood was almost always upright, and could fill a pint measure to the brim with only four discharges.

twow: Wut.

Derpy: Is that possible?!

Steel: I’m... not... sure. I’m gonna consider him a freak of nature for the moment.

Rainbow: (Blushes a deep red) Holy Celestia...

        Soarin' mounted her and savored the moment before penetration. Precum dribbled out of his tip as he rubbed it over her virgin pussy lips. Some of the more lecherous members of the audience broke the silence with an obscene chant.

        "Rape the whore! Rape the whore! Rape the whore!" a group of stallions chanted.

twow: Alright, grabbing the space/time sword...

Derpy: No twow!

Steel: If you can reach out to that world, just kill ‘em all. Spare the innocent a life in that world, and punish the guilty.

        Emboldened by the crowd, Soarin' lunged forward.

Steel: He flew off the stage and—

Rainbow: STOP IT.

 His hips connected with her rear in a shocking display of public sex. Several ponies cheered, while others looked away ashamed as the nun shrieked in pain.

twow: Where the fuck were you during Twilight’s rape then?

Derpy: Didn’t ALL the ponies in the town have to join in?

twow: Not join. They had to watch it.

Rainbow: (Glares at Steel)

Steel: Just as bad if you ask me. (Hair lights on fire from Rainbow’s glare) Like that.

Derpy: Rainbow! Stop it!

Rainbow: HE’S HIDING SO DANG MUCH FROM ME.

        The mare's hymen tore, causing her blood to drip off of Soarin's balls and onto the stage. Her pained screams pierced the heavens as the Captain of the Guards pounded her pussy raw.

Steel: “Your’s will be the scream that pierces the heavens!” (Kicked in the balls by every anime fan out there) ACK!

twow: Holy damn.

        "In the name of Celestia, take it out!" the nun cried, "The pain... it's unbearable!"

Derpy: “It’s like eating a raw Pop-Tart!”

twow: “IT’S NOT POP-TARTS!”

        Soarin' showed her no mercy as he deprived her of modesty and virtue.

twow: And when you are murdered, I will do the same.

Steel: We will sing praises of the brave nun.

His powerful thrusting caused the platform to creak and the mare's knees to buckle. The pounding vibrations caused the guillotine to wobble and sway. The blade was held in place by a rope, so there was no chance of it falling prematurely. The nun was forced to endure everything Blueblood had prepared before she would be granted the sweet release of death.

twow: joy....

        Soarin's dangling balls slapped against the nun's belly as he continued rutting her marehood from behind. The sensation of his sack rubbing against her clitoral hood was starting to arouse previously unknown feelings within the mare.

twow: Wut.

Derpy: Oh...that belt. She’s never had this before.

Rainbow: Oh HECK NO. I AM NOT ENJOYING THAT!

        "My prince," Soarin' said, while thrusting, "Far be it from me to question your methods, but I have doubts as to the effectiveness of this torture."

        "Oh?" Blueblood said, "And why is that, Captain?"

        "Because this bitch is so wet, she must surely derive pleasure from being raped," Soarin' said.

Steel: I like how Bronystories isn’t even adhering to Ye Olde Equestrian for his perversity.

        "'Tis a lie!" the nun said, sobbing, "How can one derive pleasure from so vile an act?"

twow: NO ONE CAN. I SHOULD KNOW!

Derpy: (hugs twow)

Rainbow: (Joins in, shivering)

        "You tell me," Soarin' said, "The scent of your arousal hangs in the air like a lustful breeze. My shaft is slickened by secretions from your moist mare mound.

twow: (facemoons)

Derpy: I don’t think Princess Luna is gonna like that.

(Far away, in Canterlot Castle...)

Luna: Strange... I just felt something deorbit... (Flies off to fix the moon)

Don't try to deny it."

Steel: Nothing to deny.

Rainbow: It’s not POSSIBLE for me to enjoy something like that!

twow: It’s not possible for ANYONE to enjoy it.

        Much to the nun's dismay, her body betrayed her by lubing the instrument of her rape. Blueblood took great satisfaction as the humiliated nun wept.

        "Be diligent in your duties, Captain," Blueblood said, "Upon your release, another guard shall take your place until all have had their chance."

twow: I hate you so much right now.

Derpy: You’re scaring me twow...(hugs again.)

        The nun's eyes went wide with fear at the prospect of several sweaty stallionhoods spewing sperm inside her.

twow: (facegalaxies)

Derpy: What?!

Steel: The stars won’t be aiding in ANYONE’S escape after that one!

Soarin' shook his hips in an effort to penetrate her further. His testicles rubbed against her clitoral hood until the mare's dam burst.

        "Oh, Celestia!" the nun said, as she climaxed for the first time, "Forgive me for this shameful release!"

Derpy: It’s okay Rainbow. You’re just confused.

Steel: That really should’ve never happened...

Rainbow: (Jaw drops)

        The mare came on Soarin's cock as the new sensation of an orgasm rocked her body.

        "Impudent slut!" Soarin' swore angrily, "You dare to cum before me?"

twow: Because she had a choice. Jackass.

Steel: I’d logic, but Bronystories already lost the respect needed for me to do that.

        Any pleasurable feelings derived from her orgasm were mitigated by the pain in her loins and the shame in her heart. All the nun could do was hang her head and cry.

Rainbow: Why aren’t I kicking him?

Steel: The Reeeeeea— (Kicked in the face by Starswirl the Bearded, who quickly escapes through a time portal)

Rainbow: Yeah, like that! I should be kicking him like that!

twow: Twilight would have lost her shit if she was here.

        Eager to be done with her, Soarin' increased the tempo of his thrusting. The Captain of the Guards arched his back and let out a moan as he dumped his load inside her tight tunnel.

twow: (facestars)

Derpy: That can’t be healthy.

Steel: Eh. Long as he didn’t hit a blue star, he’ll be fine.

 Soarin's balls released four thick streams of semen into her womb. With a contented sigh, Soarin' pulled his member out of her bloody, oozing hole. A pint of gooey white jizz, interspersed with her virgin blood, dripped out of her vagina and onto the stage.

Rainbow: I’m never looking at a stallion again...

        Before the nun had time to recover, the next guard mounted her. He was a larger earth pony guard, who stunk of sweat and sexual frustration. He had a yellow coat with a light green mane and was known as Invictus.

        The guard was so named because, no matter what he did, his erection was perpetual.

Derpy: So like, whenever he wants?

twow: I think he’s just more sensitive than most.

While his penis was relatively small for a stallion his size, he put the other guards to shame with his god-like virility. Those with larger cocks would have difficulty stiffening after a certain number of ejaculations, but Invictus' member rose at the slightest touch, regardless of the quantity of discharges he produced in a day.

Steel: So how’s he not dead? Doesn’t matter his virility, his heart’d give out after a certain number of rounds.

twow: I’m gonna regret this, but it’s GOTTA be the reason. (thrown into a wall by a grown-up Spike)

Steel: Shit!

Rainbow: STARSWIRL KICKED YOU IN THE FACE, AND YOU’RE SURPRISED BY THAT!?

        Invictus leaned over the nun's back and placed his fore-hooves on the wooden bracer holding her neck in place. She could hear his heavy breathing, which caused her entire body to shake in fear.

Derpy: That would freak me out also.

Steel: Don’t wanna meet that guy in a dark alley way...

        The nun whimpered as she felt the tip of his shaft press against her torn pussy. She screamed as the second slick shaft lunged into her lubed lacuna.

twow: (facepalm/desks 2x combo)

Derpy: How in the what.

Steel: (Desk bursts into flame from the combo) Toasty!

There was much less resistance this time, due to the mare's blood and Soarin's cum lubricating her passage. The nun's body twitched in agony as her body was ravaged repeatedly.

Rainbow: Can we read a clopfic after this, Steel?

Steel: Sappy romance?

Rainbow: Sappiest you can find.

twow: I got one with you and AJ.

Rainbow: Not really into that, but it’ll do.

Derpy: If we don’t mention the alliteration, he won’t hurt himself...

Steel: (Quietly marks down another instance)

        Blueblood stared into the audience and saw several stallions jerking off to the proceedings. Their lack of moral shame brought a tear of joy to his eye.

Steel: (And another)

twow: (face-)

Derpy: NO YOU DON’T.

        "My royal subjects!" Blueblood said, beaming with pride at the wanton debauchery on display, "Those who wish to prove their loyalty to the crown are encouraged to spill their essence on the traitor's face. Let your common seed stand as a shameful testament to her vile deeds.

All: ...................................................................

Rainbow: ... Oh come on...

Steel: Don’t worry. They will. (Sonic Rainboom’d in the balls. Collapses.)

The testicular testament was soon underway, as stallions clamored onto the stage.

Steel: (Just manages to scribble another mark on the tally, twitching in utter agony)

twow: (quickly faceknees)

Derpy: Wow. That was pretty good.

Rainbow: Eh. Seven outta ten. Hitting a whole galaxy was more impressive.

 Each one was eager to ejaculate on the nun's face and show deference to the prince.

        Two lines had formed around the nun. One line was for the guards to take turns raping her cunt, and the other was for stallions to cum on her face. She was forced to suffer the stench of their crotches combined with the atrocious taste of their salty semen.

twow: (faceswords)

Derpy: TWOW.

twow: It was the flat side.

Rainbow: He’s getting snot all over the story! Do it again.

        "Repent sinners!" the nun cried as the stallions violated and molested her, "You will all burn in the fires of Tartarus, lest ye repent! Don't trade your immortal souls for the fleeting pleasures of the flesh! Repent, before its too la... ack!"

twow: I’m sure that they are all fucked.

Steel: Tartarus DOES exist, so Blueblood’s... well, Blueblood’s wrong from the very start! HA! This whole STORY is wrong from the get go!

        The nun's pleas were stifled when her open mouth was ejaculated into by a particularly pent up pegasus.

twow: (faceuniverses)

Derpy: ......................how.

Steel: (Turns into a dragon from the entire universe shifting) Woah... that was a weird trip.

Thick ribbons of sperm landed in her mouth and on her snout. She choked, sputtered and spit out whatever she could.

        Invictus gave a triumphant shout as he sprayed a healthy load of semen into her womb, before quickly pulling his rock-hard shaft out to accommodate the next guard in line.

twow: “Here you go my good sir!”

Derpy: “Oh, jolly good!”

Rainbow: “Next!”

        The stallions grunted and groaned as they violated her from both sides. This gross humiliation caused the already flustered nun to blush a deep red, which was obscured from view by a healthy coat of semen on her cheeks. In addition to covering her face, stallion seed was also splattered on her religious head covering.

twow: Worst Nightmare Night mask ever.

Steel: Pretty sure some of the fellas would argue!

Rainbow: I’ll Sonic Rainboom you in the crotch AGAIN if you don’t shut up.

Steel: (Whimpers)

 The mare's sun and moon necklace knocked against the front of the guillotine as her pussy was pounded from behind.

        After all the guards in attendance had taken their turn, the assassin's twat had become looser than a slutty contortionist.

Derpy: Do not want to know if possible.

twow: Do not want at ALL.

 The nun's vaginal muscles felt as though they were on fire.

Rainbow: After that? I’m pretty sure they’re LITERALLY on fire!

twow: “I fell into a burnin ring of fire...”

Rainbow: ... Ewww.

 Her cunt was filled to the brim with semen from more than a dozen guards and her face was thoroughly drenched in hot pony splooge.

twow: Guess you could say that...ya know what. I have no idea.

Derpy: That actually scares me twow.

Steel: It’s enough to make the Dead Sea alive again!

        Rich, sticky ejaculate dripped off the nun's body as she stood shaking. She reeked of sex. Her tears mingled with the semen on her face, creating a cocktail of salty secretions.

twow and Rainbow: (hugging)

Derpy: Oh no. It’s getting to them.

Steel: ...

        There was only one pony left, whom Blueblood had specifically saved for last. An audible gasp was heard through the crowd, as this pony was rarely ever seen by the public.

twow and Rainbow: (softly weeping)

Derpy: Hold up Steel. Give him and Rainbow a minute.

Steel: (Merely nods)

Derpy: (furious) SOMEpony is going to pay for this! I’m tired of twow reading this!

Steel: (Glances up at the monitor) Blueblood, I know you’re still there. You wouldn’t dare miss this.

Blueblood: No, I’m here. I think you might want to talk to the pink mare first.

Derpy: Pinkie? What’s...

(Pinkie appears on the screen, her mane flat.)

Derpy: Oh. That’s bad.

Steel: ... Blueblood... when I get out of here, you and I are gonna have a chat.

Pinkamena: I’m sorry Steel. When twow and Rainbow...I couldn’t watch!

Derpy: It’s okay Pinkie. Well, it’s not, but I know what you mean.

Steel: Pinkie, you shouldn’t be apologizing. I wanted to talk to you about coming in here for Chapter 8 anyway, so throwing me in was what I was hoping for. Rainbow’s gone through this sort of deal with me in the past, so it’s nothing new... just a new low for her. But... well, not really sure what to say. This story is a special kind of torture for those who aren’t used to the dark ways of the world. The one who should be apologizing, and will be apologizing, is Prince Microdick over there.

Blueblood: This was never supposed to affect any of the ponies...

twow: Hey dumbass! This is a story about not just anyone, no, YOU raping and killing them and you’re making them read it. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN?!

Steel: A question I’d like answered is... what do you think is going to happen, Princey? When we’re all out of here, and when the story’s done? (Grins) There won’t be anything left for anypony to find...

Blueblood: You do realize that if you kill me, you’ll all be in trouble.

twow: I think I could live with that.

Pinkamena: Listen twow. Right now, threatening isn’t gonna do anything... Are you okay Rainbow?

Rainbow: (Holding twow in a one-legged hug) I’m... I’m holding up, Pinkie. But this kind of stuff... it’s different. I’ve gone through more clopfic readings and riffs with Steel than I can count, so all of this is just another day for me... but... how can anypony be so cruel? Even writing this, it’s just... what hole did this author crawl out of?

twow: Don’t know. But at least let me promise Rainbow, we’ll stick this one out together, okay? Just stay by me.

Rainbow: Heh. The last thing I can do is surrender... just another story, right Steel?

Steel: It’s what you make of it, Rainbow. But you’re tough enough to fight through, especially with the rest of us behind you and T.

Derpy: And if it helps at all, just keep hugging him! That’s what I did during “Derpy’s Finest Hour.”

Rainbow: (Wraps Twow in a big hug) Well, it’ll help him at least! I think I’ll stay away from stallions for a while though...

twow: Cuteness overload!

Pinkamena: I’m sorry guys, but you’re almost done. Want me to send the rest?

twow: Go ahead Pinkie.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

        "It's the hunchback of Canterlot Castle!" a stallion from the crowd said, alarmed.

Steel: OHGODMYCHILDHOOD!

twow: Why you be ripping off good movies? WHY?!

Steel: IT’S LIKE HE KNOWS!

        The deformed stallion was an earth pony who had a bright red coat and mane the color of charcoal.

Steel: RED AND BLACK OC, YES! I can start laughing now!

Rainbow: (Simply clings to T a little tighter)

twow: It’s alright Dash.

Derpy: Ahhh! It’s evil!

Steel: Cue horrible past so I can laugh. Please.

 He wore a wooden yoke around his neck and had a misshapen face, including an unsightly growth that covered his left eye. He also had a diminished mental capacity and was constantly drooling.

twow: Do not know if should laugh or not be amused at all.

Steel: Ummm...

        The hunchback was known by the libertines as Bum Cleaver. This name was given to the stallion because he lugged a club so amusingly shaped it was nearly impossible for him to perform an embuggery without splitting the ass wide open.

Derpy: Like a banana!

twow: What.

Derpy: Oops, wrong fruit.

Rainbow: (Getting mighty close to death grip...)

The head of his prick resembled the heart of a manticore. The shaft measured only eight inches, but like the rest of his body, it was grotesquely deformed. Bum Cleaver's cock was crooked and had such a curve that it roughly tore the anus when penetrating it. This quality is what made the hunchback so highly sought after by the libertines.

twow: Because of the fact that we are all going to do this anyway, let me count it down. 3...2...1.

All: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!

Steel: Yeah... I say that covers it.

        As Bum Cleaver approached the nun, his twisted dick oozed precum from two openings. One was from his urethra, but the other hole was a superfluous opening in the top right side of his deformed cock head.

Derpy: What happened to him?!

twow: He wasn’t hugged enough as a child.

Steel: Shit... poor guy.

The nun's back entrance had been spared up until this point, but her anal virginity was about to meet its demise.

Rainbow: I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT MY RUMP RIGHT NOW! THAT’S GONNA KILL ME!

        Bum Cleaver hoisted himself up until he was mounting the mortified mare

twow: (faceDerpys)

Derpy: Ow!

Steel: A headbutt that’d make a certain European football player proud.

 She could hear his obscene heavy breathing and feel his foul-smelling saliva as he drooled onto her clipped wings. Bum Cleaver laughed like a simpleton as he braced his fore-hooves against the guillotine.

Derpy: He sounded like a train.

Steel: (Snorts a laugh)

        Ignoring her sticky, bloody vagina, Bum Cleaver soon found the prize he sought: the mare's tight, dry asshole.

twow: (holds Rainbow tighter and winces) This is going to fucking suck.

Rainbow: Don’t I know it!

        The hunchback pressed his lumpy knob against the nun's sphincter as members of the crowd held their breath in anticipation for what was to come.

twow: And while we wish that it wouldn’t happen.

Rainbow: I’mdreamingI’mdreaminggonnawakeupgonnawakeup...

        Living up to his name, Bum Cleaver tore the mare's ass asunder as he pressed into her with his mutilated meat missile.

twow: (facepistols)

Steel: (Ducks the shot) SHIT!

Derpy: twow! Be careful!

Rainbow: (Rubs her head from hitting the desk) Ouch... (Immediately clings to Twow again)

twow: Sorry...

 The nun let out an ear piercing scream

Steel: I felt that. (Ears start bleeding) I REALLY felt that.

, causing a smattering of cheers to rise from the audience. Some cheered with genuine malice, while other spectators merely echoed the sentiments in the hopes of avoiding a similar fate themselves.

        The tormented mare shook her head as much as her neck restraint would permit.

Derpy: Which was really only, like, an inch or two.

Steel: Ancient vibrator. (Lightly kicked in the balls by Rainbow as she continues holding Twow like he was a lifeline) Ow.

twow: You got lucky that time Steel.

The only thing accomplished by her frantic head flailing was flinging the strands of semen that stuck to her face in random directions.

        The hunchback stretched her dry pucker with his deep thrusts. His gnarled knob spread her rectal walls wider than nature ever intended.

twow: And fucking POSSIBLE.

        While he possessed slow mental faculties, the stallion's hips were unnaturally quick; much to the nun's displeasure. His groin connected with the base of her tail in a rapid series of slapping and squelching sounds.

Derpy: Eww.

twow: It sounded like a wet banana.

Derpy: EW.

Steel: Yep, never looking at a fruit again.

        The fact that she would soon be executed was a blessing in disguise, as Bum Cleaver had done irrevocable damage to the nun's rectum. The rough callouses on the head of his penis were more coarse than crushed glass and tore her anal walls to ribbons. Whenever the stallion pulled out, his shaft was painted in a fresh coat of her blood.

twow: I’m sorry, but how in the FUCK is this possible?!

Steel: I can’t imagine an intestinal wall is all that thick, so... um... (turns green) Oh dear me...

 More crimson liquid flowed freely from the mare's ass and onto the stage as the brutal buggering continued unabated.

twow: And stop with the fucking alliteration!!!

        In an effort to distract herself from the agonizing anal rape, the nun focused on offering a vocal prayer to her Goddess.

Derpy: Please let it go.

twow: I will. For THIS chapter...

Steel: If nothing else, she’s devout to the end...

Rainbow: J-Just like I should be...

twow: (hugs tighter)

        "Blessed art thou, Celestia, Matron of the Sun," the nun said, talking through the pain, "Thy mercy... gives light and life to all who dwell on this cursed planet. Thy benevolence knows no bounds... Aah!"

        The nun's concentration was broken as Bum Cleaver twisted his cock inside her bloody asshole. Shaking off the agony, the nun resumed her desperate supplication.

twow: That’s our Rainbow. Stubborn to the end.

Steel: There’ll be a special spot in Heaven for her.

        "Despite our sins," she said, "you carry upon your back the weight of the world, for vice and blasphemy are abhorrent to you. Bless ponies with your guiding hoof and help them to walk the path of your righteousness. Lead us through this world of sorrows and provide a means for us to see the purity of your countenance."

twow: “And for the love of the stars, DON’T make any of them part of your secret circle.”

Rainbow: “Seriously! The castle’s so loud at night, you’d think there was a war going on!”

        The nun's posterior was bent out of shape to accommodate Bum Cleaver's blunt instrument. He humped her rump with an increased tempo, as he was eager to cum inside her. The rest of the nun's prayer was punctuated every time the hunchback's hips connected with her butt.

Derpy: I don’t think she even HAS a butt anymore.

Steel: I’m wondering if she’s still got a large intestine anymore...

twow: How the fuck is she alive?!

Steel: The R— (Kicked in the balls by Luna) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

        "Allow your embrace to warm our souls," the nun said, "and continue to unify Equestria through your commandments. Let friendship, your most sacred of teachings, be understood throughout this sinful land, and let your gospel spread like the rays of your sun, and purify all that is dark."

twow: Well, that was a kick in the mouth.

Steel: A true perversion of everything we’ve learned.

        The hunchback shouted unintelligibly as he came inside the mare. Viscous semen dribbled from the stallion's gnarled club into her bleeding butt.

twow: (shoots TV)

Derpy: twow!

twow: Sorry.

Steel: Honestly, it’s better than breaking your face on it...

 He panted heavily as he pulled out of her broken ass. A froth of red gore flowed from her anal wound as a small pool of blood mingled with the pool of semen that had formed on the wooden stage.

twow and Rainbow: (clinging to each other) I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

Steel: Hold strong, you two!

        The nun stood with her head in a guillotine and a mix of blood and cum leaking from her pussy and ass. Her face and veil were splattered with the jizz from dozens of Canterlot stallions. The damage now done, Bum Cleaver was escorted off the stage. A trail of the mare's blood dripped off of his cock as he returned to his lonely bell tower.

Steel: I hope every one of you bastards catches an infection and dies...

twow: And then burns forever.

Rainbow: And I wanna be there, stoking the fires!

        Prince Blueblood removed the nun's veil, revealing her beautiful rainbow-colored mane to the crowd. Levitating her veil with his magic, Blueblood used it to wipe off the last traces of cum that clung to her face. Her eyes were bloodshot from the tears she cried and the irritation of the stallions' seed.

twow: “But she never looked more beautiful.”

Rainbow: If this was any other story, I’d take that as a compliment.

twow: But my dear Rainbow. How do you know I wasn’t complimenting you NOW?

Rainbow: Sweet, but check that mental image. It’s the same one stuck in my head.

twow: I’m too angry to think. It’ll hit me when you leave.

Once the jizz had been wiped off, Blueblood stuffed the semen-stained veil into her mouth. Her gag reflex kicked in, causing her to retch and choke. She spat the cum-soaked veil onto the ground and stared at it.

Derpy: “No amount of Tide in the world...”

Steel: Colgate would make a mint off that challenge!

Rainbow: Then feed me a couple hundred thousand mints after.

twow: Don’t know if that would be enough.

        "For her treachery, this mare will spend eternity roasting in the lake of fire,"

twow: “There will be marshmallows.”

Rainbow: “I’ll be waiting for you there, Blueblood.”

 Blueblood said, "May her damnation serve as a warning to you all. This is the price for disloyalty."

        Blueblood gave a nod of the head to Soarin', who released the rope. A fast whizzing sound was heard as the blade made its rapid descent.

        "Celestia, into thy hooves I commend my spirit," the nun said. She finished her last words as the blade sunk into her neck. The mare's body went limp instantly without a brain to regulate it.

All: (wince)

Steel: (Unclips his hood and holds it over his heart) A moment of silence for the one brave pony who tried to do what others couldn’t...

twow: (squeezes Rainbow)

Rainbow: Thank Celestia our world isn’t like this... (Grips T as tightly as she can)

Derpy: (bows head)

        Sister Sunflower, who had been watching the proceedings with mounting anguish, couldn't bear the sight of the decapitation and fainted as her friend's head became severed from its body.

        Instead of cheering, as one might expect, the crowd remained deadly silent. Beheadings were a special treat for Prince Blueblood, and the audience knew full well the prince required utter silence for his unique experimentation.

Derpy: It’s a head. What are you gonna do with it?

        Blueblood was fascinated with severed heads and was curious as to how long the brain could respond when separated from its body.

Derpy: I need to stop talking.

Steel: ... Maybe just stop predicting the future.

        The nun's head rolled to a stop as she stared into the eyes of Prince Blueblood. He stared down at the head and smiled. Her bloodshot eyes twitched and darted around, as though she were still conscience. Blueblood knew it would be impossible for her to speak without lungs, but he was eager to gauge some kind of reaction from her.

twow: But he didn’t have a thermometer.

Steel: Would an altimeter work?

        Blueblood leaned in closed and whispered into the mare's ear. He attempted to impart one last piece of information before the nun's consciousness left her.

        "Tonight, I'm deflowering your precious little angels," Blueblood said with a sinister smile. As he lifted his head, Blueblood saw an unmistakable tear run down her blue cheek.

twow: (slowly raises pistol)

Steel: Save the bullet, T. Remember what we’re doing this for.

twow: (lowers pistol) Only this once.

The prince's cruel smile was the last thing the nun saw before her eyes became glassy and dead.

        Then she was gone.

Rainbow: You sick son of a MOTHERLESS STALLION!!!!

twow: I. Will. Cut. You.

        "I think she heard me," Blueblood said smiling as he turned to look at Soarin'.

        The Captain of the Guards smirked, before grabbing the rope and raising the bloody blade. He hoisted it up and returned it safely to its locked position.

Steel: It was ready for the next execution of the day: Blueblood’s.

        Blueblood stared at the corpse's neck hole. It was so bloody and wet and... inviting.

Derpy: He isn’t.

Blueblood felt his loins stir as he approached the nun's headless body.

twow: What the fuck.

Derpy: HE ISN’T.

Rainbow: I can’t watch! (Buries her head in T’s chest)

        Living up to his reputation as the most degenerate ruler they'd ever known, Blueblood mounted the guillotine and inserted his stiff penis into the corpse's bloody throat. The prince began humping the neck hole in full view of his guards and subjects.

twow and Derpy: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

Steel: He really did it... there isn’t a deep enough pit for you to fall in, Blueblood.

        Fresh blood dripped off of the sharpened blade and onto Blueblood's back as her continued to screw the corpse.

        "This is for disfiguring my face, you little cunt!" Blueblood thought, maliciously.

twow: I’ll disfigure your fucking DICK! WITH A SPOON!

Steel: Nah. Dismember it, cut it into pieces, then feed each one to him as mares show off their rears to him. There’s pain, then there’s emotional torture.

        His crotch was soaked with the nun's warm blood as he ejaculated down her neck hole and into her stomach.

        "I know it's a little late," the prince said, jovially, "but please enjoy your last meal, courtesy of Prince Blueblood!"

Steel: Blueblood lost the cooking competition for his dish, the judges giving him an across-the-board 0.

Derpy: ...I can’t.

twow: Mares and gentlemen, I introduce you to rock bottom.

        After desecrating the headless nun's corpse, Blueblood commanded his subjects to disperse and tell others what they had witnessed.

        "Celestia and Luna control the sun and the moon," Blueblood said, "and I control everything that is touched by their light!"

twow: Everypony needs to move underground.

Steel: Luna’s light isn’t all that powerful. Mount a rebellion in the Everfree. (Nightmare Moon appears behind him)

Nightmare: What’d you say...?

Steel: Nothing at all, ma’am.

Nightmare: (Vanishes)

twow: How is it that I’m cool with the evil entities but YOU piss them off?

Steel: I dunno... I’m good with ponies, obviously?

        The members of the nun's congregation carried the unconscious Sister Sunflower away from the sordid scene. They would have retrieved the dead nun's body, but Blueblood had other plans for it.

twow: What, you gonna fuck the neckhole?!

Derpy: Would you be surprised?

        The prince ordered Soarin' to carry her body to the tower overlooking the entrance to Canterlot Castle. Her cold flesh dripped cum and blood onto the ground as Soarin' flew the body above the spire.

twow: Now that’s just inappropriate.

Steel: “Look out below!”

        The corpse was still wearing the blood and semen soaked habit. He slid the spire into her vagina. The sharp metal pierced her organs and emerged through her neck hole, as blood and viscera slid down the spire. All who saw the headless corpse with the rainbow-colored tail knew the price for disloyalty.

Derpy: Raped to an inch of your life...

twow: Then have the monster of dicks open your butt.

Steel: That’s one Friday night I don’t wanna experience.

        It was later that night. The lightning bolt-shaped dagger was added to Blueblood's collection of trophies. The assassin's dagger joined the ranks of the elegant dress, the purple horn, the lock of pink hair and the barrel of Apple Cider.

twow: ...

Steel: (Simply shakes his head)

        Blueblood sat at his writing desk, preparing to pen his latest journal entry. He levitated the dagger closer so as to help jog his memory of the assassin.

Derpy: You were JUST THERE.

twow: He has memory loss.

Steel: “Is there still a gypsy in the square?”

twow: Not a good choice of words.

Steel: You can see what the fic’s doing to me.

        Upon seeing his own reflection in the mirrored surface of the blade, Blueblood became disgusted with his scarred appearance. The prince furiously stabbed the dagger into his oak desk and levitated a quill. After dipping it in ink, Blueblood began to angrily write his journal entry.

twow: Get over it you little bitch.

        After several hours, Blueblood's latest victory had been successfully recorded for posterity. After putting the stopper back in the inkwell, there was a knock at the door. Blueblood jumped in spite of himself. With the recent attempt on his life, he found himself more on edge.

Derpy: (giggles) You better be.

twow: I guess you could say that he was on the edge of his seat.

Derpy: (hugs twow) You deserved that one.

Rainbow: (Shudders, still hugging Twow)

Steel: Tough to the end.

The pony at the door was not an enemy, but his good friend, Fancy Pants. The mustachioed stallion opened the door a crack and poked his head inside.

        "I do not mean to disturb you, my prince," Fancy Pants said, "but it is nearly time for the children's ascension."

twow: “We’re sending them to Mount Olympus!”

Steel: “Be sure to send the ceremonial cookies for Lord Zeus!”

        Blueblood calmly set his quill down and stood up from his desk.

        "I'm coming," Blueblood said. His overeager smile betrayed the sanguine tenor of his voice. The prince was excited. Tonight was the most important part of the one hundred and twenty days of Blueblood, and he wasn't about to let a scarred face ruin his good time.

Rainbow: I-It’s over... it’s over, right?

Steel: Yeah...

twow: Let’s get the hell out of here.

twow: How are you doing Rainbow?

Rainbow: Honestly? Just... honestly. How do I put words to it? Well, for one, I’ve never hugged someone for this long.

twow: I liked it. It was nice. Helpful...

Derpy: twow, I don’t care. I’m going to the princesses.

Steel: And I’m stopping you there. My reason being is this whole operation is gonna get shut down. Though it’d save twow further punishment, he’s here to finish things. And it’s not for easing the threat of banishment anymore. (Looks up at the monitor) You hear me, Blueblood? If you try anything on this man here, you’re gonna have the Elements of Harmony to answer to, as well as two very pissed off humans.

Pinkamena: Don’t worry Steel. I’ll keep him in check. And as for you...

(The lab doors unlock and open)

Pinkamena: Try to get a little rest.

Rainbow: Wait... before I go. T, don’t expect this often. (Gives T a smooch on the forehead)

twow: (smiles) Got it.

Rainbow: Keep fighting, man.

Derpy: (hugs twow) You’re almost done twow. I’m proud of you.

Steel: Same here. (Gets up from his seat and clips his hood back onto his coat, keeping the glasses up on his forehead) You aren’t gonna get banished, whether you quit or not. Fight not for the threat of leaving the country, but for your own progression past your memories. I’ll be watching. (Heads off to the door)

Rainbow: Wait a minute, memories? Steel, get back here! (Rainbow runs off behind Steel) YOU STILL HAVEN’T EXPLAINED BUCKING ANYTHING TO ME! DON’T YOU DARE RUN AWAY FROM ME!!! GET BACK HEEEERRRRREEE!!!!

(Steel and Rainbow sprint off through the lab doors)

Derpy: I’m going to check on Dinky twow.

twow: Go relax Derpy. You deserve it.

(Dinky exits the lab, the doors slamming shut behind her.

twow: (sighs) Two more...

Pinkamena: Twow? I’m sorry for all of this.

twow: Not your fault. Try to cheer up, Pinkie. For me?

Pinkamena: I’ll try. Go rest for the next one.

twow: Doing my best my friend. Doing my best.

*BUZZ*

twow: I’ve got break sign!

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 9

Well, when I started this project I never expected to get this far. Seriously. But here we are, on the almost last chapter. This chapter has been up since March of this year. It’s funny, because I think that my riffs have played a part in Bronystories working on the final chapter. If that’s true, then I’m glad I helped a bit. And I have a thanks for all of you, but that’s only if I can get through this.

This? This is the deflowering of the foals. This... is 120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 9.

twow: Stupid emotion cannon...

Pinkamena: What’s wrong with it?

twow: I shot Derpy with it, and it’s out of juice.

Pinkamena: Why did you need it?

twow: To make you feel better! Really, why are you STILL flat-maned?

Pinkamena: Because I REALLY don’t want to make you read the next chapter.

twow: Oh...Right.

Blueblood: But I do! And I have some bad news for you twow.

twow: That would be...

Blueblood: I couldn’t find the right ponies to riff this chapter with you, so I guess you’ll have to do it alone.

twow: (pales)

Pinkamena: No way! You said that he would have partners!

Blueblood: Well if I can’t FIND the right ones...

Pinkamena: Were you not THERE for the last chapter?! Two of my friends were hurting!

Blueblood: Wasn’t it glorious?

Pinkamena: WHY YOU.

twow: What the hell?

(A white and blue mist settles in the middle of the room.)

twow: That’s not on me. Pinkie?

Pinkamena: I didn’t do anything.

(The mist consolidates into two pony like figures, and in a flash of light Princess Celestia and Luna stand in the lab.)

Pinkamena: I’m glad I didn’t princess-proof the lab...

Luna: (rushing and hugging twow) You are still in here?

twow: Yeah I...you remember?!

Celestia: (walking up) My sister woke me up last night and told me everything she remembered. And that reminds me, Blueblood, SHOW YOURSELF.

Blueblood: (shuddering) Uh...Hi?

Celestia: What is the meaning of this?! Punishing MY guest without any authority? And forcing him to read this...THING you call a story!

Blueblood: Well...I...

Celestia: When I get back to the castle...

twow: Celestia, it’s alright. I’ve been thinking.

Luna: About?

twow: Even though I HATE this story, I have to continue. Go until I drop.

Luna: So, you don’t want us to stop this?

Celestia: I will return and make Blueblood atone for this right now. I can.

twow: I know Celestia, but I mean this. Besides, my friend already wants to beat the hell out of him. He’s just holding it in.

(The two sisters exchange glances and move away, whispering.)

twow: Pinkie, Steel still in there?

Pinkamena: I think he’s taking a nap.

(The two sisters return.)

Celestia: We’ve come to a decision. Because I am responsible for you by bringing you here and allowing you to stay in Equestria, we will stay with you and riff this chapter.

twow: Are you sure? I don’t want Luna to Nightmare out again.

Luna: We are sure twow. And I didn’t hurt anypony right?

twow: Nope.

Luna: Then I will be fine.

twow: If you two are sure...then alright. Let’s go.

Celestia: And Blueblood?

Blueblood: (gulps)Yes?

Celestia: ...Good reaction.

Steel (TV): (Sits behind Blueblood, staring at the back of his head quietly, lead pipe in hand.)

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”

        ― Oscar Wilde

twow: And love.

Luna: And feelings.

        After more than two months of constant orgies and degradation, the childrens’ innocence had been thoroughly squelched. Any hope of escape which they still clung to was buried beneath a layer of their own self-loathing and the libertines’ dried semen.

Celestia: That’s awfully depressing.

Luna: And disgusting.

twow: (slightly shudders, neither princess noticing)

        Following a lengthy training session, the children had all become adept at sucking and frigging their masters’ pricks. In addition, they knew how to give meticulous ministrations to the mares’ moist mounds.

twow: What the fuck...ALREADY?!

Celestia: Is something wrong?

Luna: The author rather enjoys alliteration. It’s creepy at this point.

        They took no joy from pleasuring the libertines. The children viewed it as a necessary evil which they were compelled to comply with in order to survive.

twow: Or, disobey and die?

Celestia: Twow!

twow: You KNOW it’s better than this life.

        The libertines had made good on their promise that the childrens’ lower holes remain unspoiled until their official deflowering. A repugnant smell of body odor and sexual secretions hung in the air. The children hadn’t been allowed to bathe since entering the castle and were becoming nauseated by their own stench.

Luna: They passed out regularly.

twow: And once AGAIN I can’t use my Glade joke.

        Scootaloo rested her hooves against the bars of their cage as she stared out the tiny window near the dungeon ceiling. She had been forced to endure ignominies the likes of which few ponies dared even imagine. In spite of this, Scootaloo stubbornly clung to her hope of rescue.

        "Sister Spectrum will save us," Scootaloo said, wistfully, "She can do anything."

twow: About that.....

Celestia: Who was that supposed to be again?

twow: Rainbow. She’s dead, along with all of the other Elements except Fluttershy.

Celestia: ....

twow: This is not a kind story.

        "Shut up!" Diamond Tiara said, furiously, "Life's enough of a torture without your false hope rubbing salt in the wound.”

        “Oh, do leave her alone!” Silver Spoon said, “If it hadn’t been for your queer stepfather, we wouldn’t be here.”

twow: Burn!

Luna: Be nice twow.

        Diamond Tiara was silenced. Prior to her imprisonment, nopony told her what to do, especially her servant.

        Out of all the children, Diamond Tiara was the only one raised in a position of prominence, so it was especially difficult for her to adjust to her new life as the libertines’ plaything.

Celestia: I’m willing to bet that NONE of the children have been in any situation like this, be them rich or poor.

Luna: Making it equally hard for all of them.

twow: Eh. It’s hard to transition from rich to poor.

Diamond Tiara narrowed her eyes at Silver Spoon, but said nothing.

        “We mustn’t fight amongst each other,” Featherweight said, pleadingly, “If we care not for each other, we’re no better than the selfish libertines.”

Luna: A point he has.

twow: And Luna became Yoda. My life is complete.

        Just then, the door to the dungeon slowly opened. The children all became silent as they heard the clop of hooves descending the stone steps.

        The moon cast its light on the shadowy figure. The pony was shrouded in a black robe, which concealed their face. Even in the semi-darkness, Scootaloo caught a glimpse of a rainbow-colored mane and blue muzzle poking out from beneath the cowl.

Celestia: Wait, you said Rainbow Dash was dead.

twow: She is...

Luna: Then...who is that?

twow: I REALLY don’t want to know.

        “Sister Spectrum!” Scootaloo said, tears streaming from her eyes, “I knew you’d save us!”

        The other children stood up and ran to the edge of the cage excitedly. Even Diamond Tiara allowed herself a moment of fleeting hope.

        “Hurry!” Scootaloo said, “We have to go now! There’s not much time.”

twow: “We only have 100 seconds!”

        “You’re right,” a familiar voice said, “In fact, you’re out of time.”

        It was then that Scootaloo caught the unmistakable scent of blood.

        The cloaked figure disrobed, revealing himself to be Prince Blueblood. He had concealed his entire body with the black cloak and used his magic to levitate the nun’s severed head in front of him.

Celestia: You...

twow and Luna: MOTHERFUCKER!

Celestia: What they said.

        Once his identity had been revealed, he allowed Sister Spectrum’s head to drop unceremoniously onto the dungeon floor. Its forehead became bruised upon hitting the stone surface and rolled until it came to a stop just outside the children’s cage.

        Scootaloo stared horrified at the sight before her. Sister Spectrum was dead.

Luna: “We can rebuild her!”

twow: “We have the magic.”

 Her lifeless eyes rolled back in her sockets while Prince Blueblood gave a hollow laugh.

        “I taught that impudent mare a lesson for daring to disfigure me,” Blueblood said, bitterly.

twow: Stop being a damn bitch about it. Geez.

        He stepped forward and allowed the children to catch a glimpse at the fresh scar on his cheek. The nun had managed to do what nopony else had ever done before. She had succeeded in wounding the prince’s profile and his pride.

twow: No, if she had wounded his pride, he would have cut his dick off.

Celestia: What?!

twow: She was RIGHT. THERE.

 Scootaloo would have felt inspired, if she wasn’t on the verge of throwing up. She was physically shaking as she stared into the lifeless eyes of Sister Spectrum; eyes which used to radiate such hope and joy, but were now as dark and empty as the void left in Scootaloo’s heart.

Luna: The joy was sucked away like it was in a black hole.

        “Please...” Scootaloo said, her lip quivering, “Please no...”

        Seeing her mentor’s decapitated head severed the last strand of hope to which Scootaloo had clung. She stared out into the night sky, as though she half expected to see the nun’s soul flying to heaven.

Celestia: Aren’t they underground?

twow: Unless I missed something big, yes.

Luna: That’s no way to enjoy my night.

Scootaloo screamed loud enough to strain her vocal chords.

        “You can’t leave us, Sister Spectrum!” Scootaloo cried, “Take your little angels with you! Please come back! Come back!”

        Scootaloo reached her hooves through the bars. She stared up at the distant stars and cried to the heavens.

Celestia: And the heavens weeped back.

        “Don’t go, please!!” Scootaloo wailed, “We’re in Hell!”

        Overcome with grief, Scootaloo collapsed onto the cold, stone floor. Blueblood stood just outside the cage and glowered at her as she sobbed.

twow: I just really wanna insert a dagger into his eye. Can I?

Steel (TV): Just say the word. (Pats the lead pipe in his hand)

Celestia: Control yourself human.

        Without saying a word, Blueblood draped the black cloak over the corpse’s head. The prince wore a matter-of-fact expression on his face. He treated the children as if he were a stern parent trying to cajole them into doing their chores.

twow: “Now be good little fillies and come get raped now.”

Luna: twow?

twow: Can I have a hug?

Luna: (tightly hugs twow.)

        “Relinquishing your hope has brought you to your lowest points and prepared you for this moment,” Blueblood said, “Now is the hour of your ascension.”

        From within his black cloak, Blueblood produced six collars and leashes, which he levitated before the children. They knew better than to resist and remained stock still as the libertine leashed them.

Celestia: “Bark!”

        Once all the collars had been fastened, Blueblood opened the door to their cage and escorted the children out.

        As they marched morosely up the steep dungeon steps, Scootaloo took one last look back at the black cloak which covered Sister Spectrum’s head. Her mentor’s troubles were over, which is more than could be said for Scootaloo and her friends.

Luna: We still had more story.

twow: Damn it!

        After leaving the dungeon, Blueblood led the children down a corridor and up a large staircase. In all the years he’d been doing this, Blueblood never tired of seeing innocent children transfigured into mindless husks who were driven solely by perverse sexual desires. They would soon exist only to provide pleasure, without conscience or reason.

twow: Now that. That is hell on earth.

Celestia: If I ever saw this in real life, someponies would be impaled.

        At the top of the stairs was a red door. Blueblood ushered the children through it and into a room they had never seen before.

        To call it ornate would be an understatement. There was a fountain in the center of the room with a large golden statue of a hydra in the middle.

twow: Damn, I can’t cut its head off.

Luna: More golden heads would appear?

twow: It’s made out of gold.

Each of its four heads were pointed in a different direction as a steady stream of wine flowed from its mouths. The wine filled the fountain as the strong odor of the fermented grapes filled the air. The bouquet of the vintage alone was enough to make one slightly tipsy.

twow: That plumber must hate his job.

Celestia: He better get his overtime.

        Celestia and Luna were seated beside each other on large pillows. To Luna’s right, Fleur, Fancy Pants and Filthy Rich sat as they drank deeply from their goblets.

        When the prince entered, the royal sisters looked up expectantly. Luna cooed with delight as the children shambled into the room.

Luna: I’m going to hate my character again.

twow: That’s a duh moment Luna.

        “Forward!” Blueblood commanded. The children continued their sorry march as they led the prince around the fountain. They passed by Blueblood’s libertine friends, who were sitting on large, red plush pillows.

        A murmur of excitement arose from the libertines, who were eagerly discussing which child they would take first.

twow: “I want the spoiled one!”

Celestia: “I’ll take both of the males...”

Luna: “And I’ll take the rest.”

        Celestia and Luna watched as the procession of miserable-looking children passed them. Celestia’s alabaster marehood was already moist from arousal.

Celestia: (blushing) What?

twow: Don’t ask.

        “Suffer the children to cum on me and forbade them not;” Celestia said, while slowly rubbing her clit with her forehoof, “for such is the kingdom of heaven.”

twow: Oh shut the hell up.

        Once Blueblood had reached his vacant pillow, he ordered his crestfallen caravan to halt.

Luna: (Covers twow’s eyes)

twow: Hey!

Luna: Quickly sister! Move past it!

Truffle Shuffle started to sit down.

        “Remain standing!” Blueblood commanded. Truffle Shuffle squeaked in fear and stood stock still.

Celestia: “I will have your ass if you sit down again!”

        “Yes,” Filthy Rich added as he stroked his semi-hard member, “I’ll give you something to sit on soon enough.”

All: Bluh.

        The libertines stared at the children and smirked. The fillies and colts each stood with their heads bowed submissively. They cast their eyes furtively about the room in order to better familiarize themselves with their new surroundings. While they were doing this, the children made sure to avoid eye contact with the libertines.

Luna: “If they see us, they’ll talk to us!”

twow: “Shhhhhhhhhh!”

        “Surely they cannot be looking for a means of escape,” Fancy Pants said, bemused.

Celestia: Because six exhausted, possibly sick and tired children are gonna try to escape.

twow: Dumb. Ass.

        Filthy Rich narrowed his eyes as he glared at the children, as if daring one of them to meet his icy gaze.

        Blueblood commanded the children to stand at attention in a straight line. The royal sisters were each allowed to select their child first. Celestia gave a sweet smile and gestured to Featherweight.

Celestia: What.

        “Step forward, gangly urchin,” Celestia said, “Your princess desires thy intimate company.”

Celestia: WHAT.

        Featherweight felt as though his hooves were made of lead. He feared that his malnourished bones would snap like twigs under the weight of the princess’s plump posterior.

twow: Dat ass. (smacked by Celestia.)

Blueblood detached the collar from the rope and allowed Featherweight to advance slowly towards Celestia.

Celestia: WHAT.

        Luna stared at the other five children as she struggled to make her selection. Eventually, she called for Pipsqueak.

Luna: NO!!!

        “Advance, my young pinto prince,” Luna said, “Step forward and rejoice! For this shall be a night thou will always remember.”

twow: And hate. Forever.

        Pipsqueak glanced back at Blueblood, who was staring intently at his aunts. Summoning up his fleeting courage, Pipsqueak slowly started shuffling his hooves towards Luna.

        It was now time for Blueblood’s friends to each decide on a partner. The libertines surveyed the remaining children and deliberated on their choice.

Celestia: “Which one of us looks more inviting?”

twow: “Don’t make me choose!”

        “They all look so tempting,” Fancy Pant said, “What’s your preference, Filthy Rich?”

        “I imagine he’s been chomping at the bit to deflower his stepdaughter,” Fleur said, “Or perhaps he’d rather rape his simpering servant.”

twow: Are you even trying anymore?

        “Don’t mock me,” Filthy Rich said annoyed, “You damn well know my preferences. I’d gladly crawl over fifty good pussies just to get my hooves on one chubby colt’s asshole.”

Luna: Well, at least he’s honest?

twow: I hate him.

        Truffle Shuffle gulped nervously and subconsciously squeezed his sphincter tighter. Filthy Rich smiled pervertedly at the fat child and gestured for him to come forward. After Blueblood removed the leash, Truffle Shuffle refused to move. He just stood there with his eyes shut tight.

        “You impudent little faggot,” Filthy Rich said through gritted teeth, “I demand that you come here and spread your fat ass this instant! If you refuse me again, I’ll bugger you lubeless.”

twow: Hey, fuck you man.

Celestia: These ponies have no souls. Did you eat them twow?

twow: No way! They would have tasted like shit!

        Truffle Shuffle’s lip began to quiver. He blubbered pathetically while trepidatiously advancing towards Filthy Rich.

        “So, I take it my wife and I are free to sodomize your servant and stepdaughter?” Fancy Pants asked in an unnervingly casual tone.

Celestia: And that’s rather disturbing as well.

        “Deal with the young bitches in whatever way titillates you most,” Filthy Rich said, “May they give you more pleasure than they’ve given me.”

Luna: And so is that.

        Diamond Tiara’s lip began to quiver. Prior to her imprisonment, her stepfather had treated her with mild indifference. Now, he was being particularly malicious. The two fillies consigned themselves to their fates as they solemnly walked towards the libertine couple.

twow: The fact that I feel sorry for them...that’s pretty bad.

        Fleur licked her lips greedily as she eyed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. It wasn’t often that Fleur was afforded a chance to be the dominant role. Now that she had it, the sadistic mare was intent to take full advantage.

twow and Celestia: Oh boy.

Luna: This will not end well.

        With the other children gone, Blueblood silently crept up behind Scootaloo. His strong, muscular body towered over her frail frame. Scootaloo’s back tensed as he spoke to her in an icy whisper, which was totally devoid of all tenderness or compassion.

twow: Silly author. You say that like he ever had those emotions.

        “I suppose that leaves you and me, my little winged creature,” Prince Blueblood said, “Join me on the pillow.  We can exchange stories about your beloved nun.”

        Scootaloo was used to obeying Blueblood’s orders, but she knew this time would be different. It wouldn’t stop with fellatio. The lustful libertine wouldn’t be satisfied until he’d soiled all her holes with his essence.

Celestia: These are FILLIES.

Luna: And we’re OKAY with this?!

twow: (slightly rocking back and forth, shuddering)

Steel (TV): Break?

Luna: If at any rate, we better take it for twow.

Celestia: twow?

Luna: He hasn’t reacted this violently before. I don’t know what’s wrong!

Steel (TV): I sure as hell do.

Celestia: Then please explain.

Steel (TV): Not sure if I’m allowed to share such a thing... suffice to say, this hits far closer to home than any of us dares to realize. He’s... well... suffered this in the past. What these foals are going through may as well be a film written to the script of his own memories.

Luna: Oh...That’s why he’s been so agitated throughout this.

Steel (TV): And how he’s come so far is a testament to how strong someone can be. But it only makes me stare at the back of this blonde ‘royal’s head a little bit harder... I’m starting to wonder if you even bothered to consider what might happen, Princey.

Celestia: (pokes twow) twow...

twow: (snaps upright, shaking his head) I’m okay! What did I miss?!

Luna: You are not okay.

twow: Sure I am! What made you think differently?

Celestia: The small fact that you were unable to speak and your eyes looked like dinner plates.

twow: Oh...

Steel (TV): You’re fighting a war here, T. I don’t need to say how much I’ve gone through with this, and I didn’t think it’d hit you thishard. (Shakes his head) You should consider retreat an option soon. Banishment isn’t a threat anymore, not so long as I’m still breathing, but this... it’s starting to scare me.

twow: (shakes head again) Huh. Don’t worry Steel. I-I should be fine.

Pinkamena: twow...

twow: No! I came this far and I gotta beat it. I gotta! (voice breaks)

Luna: What happened to his voice?!

Steel (TV): It’s a problem with ponies and humans... under significant emotional stress, their voice might ‘crack’ a bit, or shoot up to a higher pitch. Twow... all I can say is I’m still behind you on this. Whatever you need, and whenever you need it, I’ll personally break down the door separating us and get it to you, be it a partner for a riff, or anything else. Hell, even a hug if the stars align. (Looks over at Luna on the screen) And knowing the good Princess there, the odds are gonna be pretty well in your favor.

Luna: (grins)

Celestia: Come sister. Let us help our friend though this.

twow: Thanks guys...

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Steel (TV): Rock on!

        Once each of the libertines had chosen a child, the orgy began in earnest. Some of the adults offered their child some wine to dull their faculties and make them more amenable to being molested.

twow: They tore the labels off that said to drink responsibly.

Luna: Explains a lot here.

        Filthy Rich pressed his forehooves against Truffle Shuffle’s flank and lifted his bottom. He stuck his muzzle between the colt’s cheeks and gave an invasive rimjob in preparation for the imminent buggering.

        Truffle Shuffle wept and hid his face with his forehooves. After months of training, he knew the penalty for resisting the libertines’ desires.

Celestia: But WE don’t.

twow: I got nothing.

        Once the anal stimulation had succeeded in limbering up the child’s sphincter, Filthy Rich aggressively mounted him.

        Before commencing with his anal rape, Filthy Rich paused for a moment and listened to his own rapid heartbeat as it pumped blood to his stiffening stallionhood. The fear of the child was palpable.

twow: WONDER WHY.

Luna: It was his first time?

Celestia: Luna!

 A bead of precum on the stallion’s knob glistened like a precious gem. Filthy Rich shuddered in anticipation as he pressed his tip against the child’s rear, smearing his sphincter with precum.

        Filthy Rich leaned in close and sniffed Truffle Shuffle’s mane. The stench was an odious amalgam of bodily excretions.

        “You’re filthy on the outside,” he whispered ominously to Truffle Shuffle, “I’m going to make you filthy on the inside.”

twow: “And there is not enough bubble bath in the world...”

        Before the implications of that statement had time to register with Truffle Shuffle, Filthy Rich slammed his stallionhood deep inside the child’s ass.

twow: (winces and holds his head) FUCK!!!

Luna: (hugs twow)

        Truffle Shuffle screamed in pain while pressing his forehooves against his head.

        “Please, don’t!” Truffle Shuffle cried, “Stop!”

        “Don’t... stop?” Filthy Rich said, mockingly, “Since you insist...”

Celestia: Selective hearing at its stupidest.

        Filthy Rich gave a mirthless laugh as he redoubled his efforts. His scraggly scrotum slapped repeatedly against Truffle Shuffle’s young, tender balls.

        Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stared at the anal rape in abject horror. Filthy Rich pumped the child’s ass with an animal-like ferocity as Truffle Shuffle begged for him to stop.

Luna: Why is he doing it so hard?!

twow: He gives no fucks about Truffle.

 Filthy Rich turned a deaf ear to the child’s pleas and growled viciously as his pace steadily increased. The libertine’s knob grazed Truffle Shuffle’s prostate which caused the colt’s young stallionhood to spring to life as well.

        “Such anger,” Fancy Pants said quietly as he stared at Filthy Rich, “You would think the poor bastard never learned that sex was meant to be enjoyed.”

Celestia: He does have a point.

twow: Yes. Let’s never agree with this story again.

        Fleur and Fancy Pants then turned their attention away from the violent rape and towards the two fillies cowering before them. She addressed her husband while never taking her eyes off the children.

        “So, my dear,” Fleur said, “Would you prefer to have Diamond Tiara frig your cock?”

twow: If I wasn’t tearing up inside, I’d be okay with that.

Luna: And...I kinda want you to be like that.

        Diamond Tiara flinched, as if the sound of her own name was hurtful to her now. She only ever heard it prior to committing some degrading sexual act.

        “Bah,” Fancy Pants said, “I know the clumsy fool would fumble it. No, you take her. I’m far more eager to test Silver Spoon’s precious mettle.”

twow: And obvious joke in 3...2...1.

        Maybe it was due to her talent for polishing, but Silver Spoon was the best young frigger the libertines had ever seen.

twow: I am one smart motherfucker.

 She was ashamed to be performing such lewd acts, but Silver Spoon was pleased with herself for being the best there was. This was the first time in her life where she was perceived as being more competent than Diamond Tiara.

Celestia: Good...job?

twow: Well, if you’re forced into a position like that., might as well do the best you can.

        Fancy Pants had taken a shine to her and seemed eager to test her limits. He had seen her skills and would soon find her threshold for pain.

        Silver Spoon began licking and frigging Fancy Pants’ prick, while Diamond Tiara was forced to service Fleur’s mound. Once the libertines were both firmly aroused, Fancy Pants ordered Silver Spoon to lie on top of Diamond Tiara’s stomach with their heads facing each others nethers.

twow: Kinky. (smacked by both princesses)

Luna: Should we really have done that?

Celestia: Starting to regret it.

        “My pleasure will be derived from your tight bottom,” Fancy Pants said to Silver Spoon, “If you wish to mitigate the agony of your anal anguish, your only hope is for your friend to pleasure you to the point of orgasm.”

twow: Makes...sense?

Luna: If you don’t think about it.

Steel (TV): (Smoke flies out of his ears as he tries not to think about it)

        Diamond Tiara was feeling slightly relieved. She knew that she Fleur lacked the equipment to give her a proper dicking.

        Once Diamond Tiara had grown accustomed to her servant’s weight on her chest, she felt something soft and wet pressing against her sphincter. After glancing down, she saw that Fleur was licking around her asshole.

Luna: That is gross.

twow: You’re cute when you understate things.

 It felt more ticklish than painful, so Diamond Tiara didn’t mind it too much.

        “Make a wish,” Fancy Pants said jovially as he pressed his slick knob against Silver Spoon’s pert hole. She whimpered as the length of his palpitating prick slid inside her unassuming asshole.

twow: “I wish to get the FUCK OUT of here.”

        Fancy Pants then began to bugger Silver Spoon with calm, calculated strokes. Using this method, a stallion could practically last indefinitely. Diamond Tiara stared mesmerized at the pair of white balls which swung inches from her nose. Trace amounts of Silver Spoon’s blood clung to Fancy Pants’ shaft as he forced his way inside her tight backdoor.

twow: Shoulda locked it.

Luna: They stole the key.

Celestia: And swallowed it.

        The slapping sounds of Fancy Pants’ hips connecting with Silver Spoon’s bottom were complemented by the loud slurping sounds of Fleur as she messily rimmed Diamond Tiara’s rectum.

        Silver Spoon’s vision was blurry. The sensations were foreign to her, and quite painful. It was unnatural. Everything about her situation was unnatural.

Celestia: Unless she dreamed about being taken away from home and used as a sex slave.

twow: Truly every fillies dream.

 She shut her eyes and held them tight. She tried to think of something, anything, to take her mind off the loss of her anal virginity.

        Regardless of how many times Fancy Pants pumped into her, the sting of his shaft was constant.

Luna: I’d expect as much.

twow: What the hell is the deal with anal?!

        Being raised as a slave, Silver Spoon was used to bottling her feelings. She took the libertine’s abuse, without crying or screaming. The lingering fear in the back of her mind was the uncertainty of how long her resolve would last.

twow: About 12 minutes and 24 seconds.

        Scootaloo sat beside Prince Blueblood as the two of them watched these depravities unfold around them. For Scootaloo, it was the worst day she’d ever experienced. For Blueblood, it was a Tuesday.

twow: ............................

Celestia: I’m going to hate Tuesdays instead of Mondays now.

        Blueblood stroked her magenta mane and ordered her to frig his prick. Scootaloo complied, while wearing a look of intense hatred. She closed her eyes so as to block out the images of her friends suffering, but her ears caught every word. Each scream of pain. Every impassioned plea for mercy. Scootaloo heard it all.

twow: “And ignored it.”

Luna: “If I don’t hear it, it won’t be there!”

        The moans of the children reverberated off the walls as the libertines’ reverie slowly built to a fever pitch. It was a veritable rhapsody of rape, with Prince Blueblood as the ignominious impresario.

twow: I don’t even know what that MEANS.

Celestia: Leader?

Luna: Let’s go with that one.

        “Servicing my shaft was one of the last things your precious nun did before and after her death,” Blueblood said, “Maybe by making me cum, you’ll grow closer to your late mentor by following in her hoofsteps.”

        The thought of Sister Spectrum degrading herself to such a degree made Scootaloo shiver with revulsion.

twow: In all honesty, she tried to save you.

        “I don’t believe you,” Scootaloo said as she begrudgingly licked the salty precum from his tip. She had nothing but contempt for Blueblood, and yet her training had left her with a compulsion to suck cocks. After months of careful conditioning, fellatio was a subconscious act. At times, Scootaloo felt as though she had no control over her own body.

Luna: They raped more than just their bodies.

Celestia: They’ve programmed their minds.

twow: “Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!”

        “You may have corrupted us,” Scootaloo said, in between licks, “but Sister Spectrum’s soul was far too pure to wallow in sin.”

        “Nopony is pure, my little chit,” Blueblood said, matter-of-factly, “We’re all just beasts at the end of the day.

twow: No, that’s just you and your sick friends.

Celestia: And aunts, sadly.

 Only the few among us with the courage to realize this can truly be considered alive. Ponies who spend their existence shackled to false notions of decency and morality are already dead to the world, so they deserve no place in it.”

twow: How. In the fuck. Does that work.

Luna: So good ponies deserve to die and evil ponies deserve to live?

Celestia: This makes perfect logic! I can’t use words.

        Scootaloo could feel Blueblood’s balls contract as she rolled them around on her tongue. Her ministrations were accompanied by loud slurping sounds.

Luna: “My sucker! MINE!”

Celestia: “You can have the Dum-Dum!”

        As she reflected on Sister Spectrum, Scootaloo couldn’t focus on her blowjob. Her lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears. Her chin was covered in drool and the prince’s precum as she sobbed and grieved over the loss of her friend.

twow: (tearing up, but trying to hide it) And the world wept with her.

Steel (TV): (Holds his hood over his heart in silent prayer)

        “Do not weep for your slain nun,” Blueblood said, “Her death was no tragedy. The only real tragedy is living in fear.”

        The word “fear” triggered something in Blueblood. He stopped talking as he stared at his aunts. Scootaloo looked up into Blueblood’s eyes. He was looking intently at the royal sisters as they played with their young colts.

Celestia: “That was really fun playing tag!”

Luna: “Next, let’s do Red Light, Green Light!”

        Featherweight had begun to plumb Celestia’s sweaty snatch with his tongue.

twow: Now that’s just inappropriate.

The beleaguered urchin performed expert cunnilingus on the mad matriarch.

        “Thou art favored amongst stallions to find thyself in the lap of a god!” Celestia cried, “This pleases us greatly! Harder, you cunt-licking plebeian!”

        Featherweight’s nostrils were filled with Celestia’s musk. He couldn’t help but find the scent arousing.

twow and Luna: Ew.

Celesia: (blushing)

        Celestia’s sweaty frame convulsed as she squirted her mare cum all over Featherweight’s face. The embarrassed colt looked up at her. Celestia smiled as she watched her feminine juices drip down his chin.

        “An exquisite release,” Celestia said, breathlessly, “You have quite the skilled tongue, my little stallion.”

Celestia: “It’s not like we were training you for months or...oh WAIT!”

twow: “This story...SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!”

        For a moment, Celestia was content to simply lay there and revel in her own afterglow. Her palpitating heart and messy orgasm caused the princess to feel younger than she had in ages.

        “We would esteem it a great pleasure to have thy tongue inside us at all times,” Celestia said appreciatively, “Lay with us that we may properly repay thy actions.”

twow: Bring out the disco ball!

Luna: We don’t have one of those.

twow: Damn it.

Steel (TV): Tom’d work!

        Featherweight repositioned himself so he was laying beside Celestia on her plush pillow. The princess used her hoof to tenderly brush the sweaty colt’s mane. Celestia then created a magical aura around Featherweight’s young prick and slowly began to frig it. Her erotic motions caused the young colt to groan with delight.

Celestia: Um. NO.

twow: Well, I coulda died happy never having that picture in mah head.

        “You love your princess, don’t you?” Celestia asked sensually as her aura fondled his tiny balls.

        Featherweight’s mind was in a fog. He couldn’t tell if it was Celestia’s hypnotic voice, her feminine musk or her expert frigging, but the young colt found himself smitten with her beauty.

Luna: It’s all of those.

Celestia: I’d rather that not be said in this context, sister.

        Celestia leaned in and shared a kiss with her young lover. Featherweight felt her tongue invade his mouth. Celestia explored every inch of his oral cavity as she continued her frigging.

        After breaking the kiss, Celestia brought forth a goblet, which was suspended in the air by her magic.

        “Have some wine, my love,” Celestia said.

twow: “It’s 20% juice!”

        Without waiting for his consent, Celestia pressed the golden cup to Featherweight’s lips. He drank deeply and soon drained the goblet.

        The young colt couldn’t hold his liquor. His face became flushed and his speech slurred.

Luna: What?

twow: I’ve never drank, but does it happen THAT fast?!

Steel (TV): Depends on the person. I could down a bottle of this 80 proof and only be a slight slurred. Pinkie can barely stand after a glass.

        “That feels nice,” Featherweight said, tipsily. The drunken colt gave a slight hiccup as he slowly succumbed to carnal pleasure.

Celestia: “And didn’t wake up again.”

twow: And now for Luna’s turn.

Luna: Great.

        Seated beside her sister, Luna was currently in the process of fellating young Pipsqueak. His tiny prick and balls could not hope to satisfy Luna’s lush lacuna, but she was no less determined to bring him to orgasm.

twow: (faceEarths)

Celestia: So it was YOUR fault that the Sun had a dent!

Luna: I had to go reposition the moon!

        Pipsqueak knew exactly what she was doing to him. He’d given enough blowjobs to be well acquainted with the mechanics of the act. And yet, Luna managed to bring something new to the act of fellatio. Her eon of experience allowed Luna to pleasure Pip’s prepubescent pole in a way that lesser mares could only dream of.

twow: Um. Okai?

Luna: I’m jealous.

Celestia: ...Wut.

        Her tongue wrapped around his shaft as she milked the young colt for all he was worth. Pipsqueak gave an involuntary groan as his tiny frame was racked with primary pulses of puerile pleasure.

twow: Now that’s just unnecessary.

        “Art thou enjoying thyself?” Luna asked as spittle dribbled down her chin. A thick strand of saliva connected her lips to his penis. Pipsqueak winced as he felt Luna shower his small sack with kisses. He couldn’t bring himself to answer her question verbally, but he did nod his head to show that her ministrations were not entirely unpleasant.

twow: Hell, I’d enjoy that as well...uh.

(Celestia and Luna stare at him.)

twow: Let’s pretend I never said that.

        “We love thy young body,” Luna said. Pressing her tongue against his asshole, Luna slowly moved her tongue across Pipsqueak’s taint, over his balls and up the underside of his shaft.

        When she reached the tip, Luna buried her muzzle on his member. She managed to effortlessly take the entire length of Pipsqueak’s shaft and balls into her mouth.

twow: Prolly wasn’t that hard. (dodges swing by Celestia) Hey! I have a point!

        Luna presented Pipsqueak with a goblet of wine, which she forced him to drink. As the two colts were being pleasured by the princesses, the other children were in unspeakable pain.

Luna: So the colts got the long straws.

Celestia: That’s a lot of short straws to be handing out.

        Silver Spoon had hoped to just endure her assault, but the longer it went on, the more aroused she became. In spite of the shame, she could no longer resist the urges of her body.

        “Please, Ms. Diamond Tiara,” Silver Spoon cried, “Do what Fancy Pants says! Lick my filly parts! Any pleasant feelings will help distract me from the pain!”

twow: You say that like Diamond cares about others.

Luna: Remember the position they’re in.

        Featherweight’s words echoed in Diamond Tiara’s head.

        “If we care not for each other, we’re no better than the selfish libertines,” Diamond Tiara thought. In an uncharacteristically selfless act, Diamond Tiara began to perform cunnilingus on her servant.

twow: Well...I have respect for this Diamond.

        Silver Spoon gasped as she felt her mistress' soft tongue lapping timidly at her young clit. The effect was almost immediate, as familiar lustful feelings began to resurface within Silver Spoon.

        “Ohhh,” Silver Spoon moaned erotically. Her head was swimming in pleasure. The penis in her ass helped amplify the ecstasy of her friend’s cunnilingus.

Luna: The ecstasy has been doubled!

twow and Celestia: (facepalm/hoof)

Steel (TV): (Slowclap)

        Diamond Tiara was so engrossed in eating out her servant, that she didn’t notice Fleur dipping her left forehoof in a basin of precious oil, which the libertines used as lube.

        Silver Spoon was just starting to drip with arousal, when Diamond Tiara pulled her mouth away.

twow: “Alright, done with that. Your turn.”

        “Why did you stop?” Silver Spoon asked. As if in answer to her question, Diamond Tiara started shrieking in pain.

        It was only then that Silver Spoon thought to open her eyes. She looked down and saw that Fleur had stuffed her long, slender forehoof inside Diamond Tiara’s bottom.

All: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

        The sadistic mare was brutally hoofing the young child’s ass with her left forehoof, while simultaneously masturbating with her other forehoof.

twow: I can’t anymore.

Luna: What in the...

Celestia: For the love of Tartarus!

        Seeing how much pain Diamond Tiara was in, Silver Spoon buried her snout in her mistress’ snatch. Silver Spoon began eating out Diamond Tiara in the hopes of distracting her from the grown mare’s hoof in her rectum.

twow: That gave me Chapter 8 flashbacks and now I want to hug a Rainbow.

        Diamond Tiara had given up trying to pleasure anypony. The pain brought on by Fleur’s forehoof was too much for the filly to stand. All Diamond Tiara could do was shriek and blubber unintelligently.

Luna: That’s perfectly understandable! I mean, what the he-

Celestia: Language Luna!

Luna: Sorry...

        Silver Spoon tried desperately to bring Diamond Tiara to orgasm, in spite of her own marehood being completely ignored. Without any further vaginal stimulation, the only sensation that remained was the pain of her sodomy.

        “Please, touch me down there,” Silver Spoon begged, “I need something to take the pain away.”

twow: She’s doing a lot worse than you right now, Silver.

        Diamond Tiara tried to focus on her servant’s needs, but she couldn’t. Fleur’s hoof was stretching Diamond Tiara’s bottom to the breaking point. Pain consumed her every thought. The anguished screams of a child was too much for Fancy Pants to resist. He was going to cum.

Luna: Please get it over with.

twow: It’s starting to hurt again...

        “Give us a kiss, darling,” Fancy Pants said to his wife, “I’ve reached my apex.”

        Fleur momentarily stopped hoofing Diamond Tiara’s ass and leaned over Silver Spoon. Fleur kissed Fancy Pants on the lips as he came inside Silver Spoon’s ass. Fleur looked disappointedly at her husband as she broke the kiss.

        “You came already?” Fleur said, sadly, “Bad form, darling.”

twow: “You were supposed to wait until I did!”

Celestia: “Bad Fancy!”

        Fancy Pants pulled his flacid dick out of Silver Spoon’s ass. Diamond Tiara made a scared squeaking sound as the stallion’s meaty penis slid out of the filly’s hole and landed with a slap on Diamond Tiara’s face.

twow: She really did get cockblocked. (looks around) No slap?

        When Fancy Pants pulled his stallionhood out, the jizz which he released inside began to ooze out of Silver Spoon’s ass and onto Diamond Tiara’s face.

        “I couldn’t help myself,” Fancy Pants said, tenderly to Fleur, “A tight posterior mingled with the shrieks of a child reminded me of the day we first met.”

Luna: Those are some memories that I’d rather not visit.

Celestia: Not without some brain bleach.

        “Ooh, flatterer,” Fleur said, “Well, it is of no matter. With your virility, it should only take a few moments before you’re ready for another round.”

        Fleur and Fancy Pants stared at the two exhausted fillies. Silver Spoon lay atop her friend and cried as semen continued leaking from her butt.

twow: I guess that...I don’t want to be here anymore.

Luna: (hugs twow)

Steel (TV): Hold strong, man!

        Diamond Tiara’s face was covered in cum. Her lip trembled and her bloody asshole was gaping from where Fleur’s hoof had been.

        “While I’m waiting to recover,” Fancy Pants said, “let me help you tend to these young fillies.”

Celestia: A lot of Band-Aids will be needed.

Luna: And therapy.

        As the couple resumed their child molestation, Blueblood looked longingly at Fleur and Fancy Pants.

        “I need to find my own special somepony,” Blueblood thought, “Somepony who also enjoys inflicting rape and torture.”

twow: Who in the fuck would...oh. Never mind.

        Scootaloo continued to frig Prince Blueblood’s cock. She contemplated biting his stallionhood off at the root, as a means of avenging Sister Spectrum’s death. Nothing came of such thoughts, as Scootaloo’s thirst for vengeance was swallowed up by her severe depression.

twow: Damn it.

Luna: Aww. I really wanted that to happen.

        “What’s the point in fighting?” Scootaloo thought, miserably, “Sister Spectrum stood against the prince and she’s dead. Nothing I do now will bring her back to life.”

        Scootaloo’s eyes began to water. It was hard to discern if this was due to her sadness, or choking while trying to deepthroat the prince’s prick. In any case, Scootaloo’s once-indomitable will appeared to have finally broken.

twow: “And another one bites the dust...”

Celestia: I didn’t know you could sound sad singing that.

twow: It’s not a gift.

        Blueblood glanced over at Filthy Rich, who was thrusting into Truffle Shuffle while also beating the colt with a cane. Truffle Shuffle was squealing in pain as red welts formed on his back.

Luna: Because...logic?

        While Blueblood had great respect for Filthy Rich’s cruelty, the prince didn’t want to end up alone and bitter. There was a stark contrast between his married and single friends.

Celestia: And a strong comparison.

twow: They are all fucking INSANE.

        “I need to find a wife,” Blueblood said, quietly.

twow: Why?! So she’ll do the same?! So that this will keep going?! On, and on and on and fucking on?! (completely breaks down crying)

Steel (TV): Cut the riff. We’re gonna need something more than a break right now.

Steel: Now I remember why I thought Chapter 10 would be the worst yet...

Luna: (holding twow) You think THAT one?!

Steel: Aye. He knows why.

Celestia: I still think that we need to end this...

Luna: No, sister! He asked us not to!

Celestia: (pointing at twow) Then what do YOU expect we do?

Luna: (stammering) ...I don’t know.

Steel: I expect that we let him decide what to do. It’s out of our hands, or hooves, Your Highnesses. (Scratches his chin) That’s the right term, isn’t it...? Anyway, this is his challenge. Always has been.

Pinkamena: I have an idea, give me a second...

Luna: Should we be worried?

Steel: Honestly, you should only be worried when Princey here opens his mouth. That’s what I’ve learned thus far.

Pinkamena: twow? Can you speak?

twow: I’ll try. Why?

Pinkamena: Because I was able to reach one of your friends.

twow: Really? Who?

Steel: Yeah, who?

(The TV flashes to reveal EricKilla)

twow: Eric! Hey there!

EricKilla: Oh god, what is this? Do I have a virus or something? Why is... Oh. Hey twow.

twow: Hey there. Again.

Luna: Can you help him? This story is having a rather negative impact on him.

EricKilla: Welllll I could lend him my shotgun and get the author’s info, if that’s what he’d like.

twow: That would be WONDERFUL.

Celestia: I don’t think we should be giving twow a weapon right now.

EricKilla: And I should have one, period? Do you even know me?

Celestia: Not really. Pinkie Pie was the one that contacted you.

EricKilla: If by “contacted”, you mean placing a goddamn virus on my computer or somethin’, then sure. Regardless, you should just ask twow. He’ll explain everything.

twow: Look Eric. I think Pinkie called you because I’m losing my shit here. I don’t know if I can handle the rest of this.

EricKilla: Hmm. Losing your shit, you say? I could get you some of those fancy “adult diapers”, if that’ll help.

twow: You are not helping at ALL.

EricKilla: Alright, alright. Not one of those times, I guess. Hmm. I honestly dunno how I could help, honestly.

Luna: Have you ever tried kind words?

EricKilla: “Kind words”? Whazzat?

All: (facepalm/hoof)

EricKilla: All I can say is good luck twow. I’m sure you can handle it though, after all it can’t be worse than Mykan, can it?

twow: I think I just barfed in my mouth.

Steel: Speaking of Mykan... rrrgh, never any time for writing!

EricKilla: What?

Steel: I’m not in the lab. Sitting here with Princey and Pinkie. ‘Good luck’ isn’t the most you can offer here, though, Eric. C’mon, I’ve read the whole story and riffed a chapter with ‘em. Where the hell’re you?

EricKilla: I’m right here Steel. Where was I, though? I was saving the world from liberals. Twice.

Steel: Uh huh.

Luna: Something tells me that he might start doing more harm than good.

Celestia: Agreed.

twow: Thanks Eric. I’ll try my best.

Steel: He should drop by sometime with Fallen. See if we can’t all join in on Chapter 10... jus’ like the old days.

EricKilla: “Four Musketeer’s”? Nah, we’d have to find a new name.

Steel: “Explorers” always worked.

twow: As much as I’d love that...I have to do that one alone with Flutters.

Luna: Shall we get this over with?

twow: Bluh. I’ll catch you later Eric.

EricKilla: Bai!

Steel: Yeah. See ya, man. So, I’ll just carry on burrowing holes into Princey’s head with my eyes while I sharpen this here sword... (drags over a grindstone, starts sharpening a blade) Carry on.

(The TV with Eric shuts off)

twow: I knew it was a good idea to have more than one TV...

Pinkamena: As much as I don’t want to, twow, are you three ready?

twow: I reserve the right to freak the hell out again.

Celestia: And you deserve that.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

        Filthy Rich was nearing his orgasm. He leaned back and put his forehooves under Truffle Shuffle’s chubby belly. The child was lifted off of the ground and his bruised back was pressed against the libertine’s chest.

twow: He’s in the perfect position for a tummy rub.

Celestia: I LOVE those!

(Luna and twow stare at Celestia)

Celestia: What?

        Truffle Shuffle’s eyes were red and puffy and his nose was running. The gay libertine exerted his strength and lifted Truffle Shuffle off of his shaft. Filthy Rich would then thrust his hips upward, burying his stallionhood deeper into the child’s bottom.

Celestia: Ignoring the shrieks of pain.

        Truffle Shuffle was growing numb to the pain.

Celestia: Oh.

Luna: Is that a good thing?

twow: He’s not crying, so maybe?

Steel (TV): ... I’m just gonna let that slide.

 The libertine’s knob rubbing against his victim’s prostate caused the young child to become aroused. Truffle Shuffle’s fat prick was semi-hard and dripping precum. His shaft flopped around as he was repeatedly lifted and filled by Filthy Rich.

Luna: Well that’s a horrible image.

twow: BAD IMAGE GO AWAY!

        After several minutes of this, Truffle Shuffle began to feel nauseous. When only the tip remained inside the colt’s ass, Filthy Rich let go of Truffle Shuffle’s fat belly and allowed gravity to kick in. The speed at which the child slid down Filthy Rich’s pole was too much for him to resist.

        “Ah, Celestia’s twat and tits!

twow: (bust up laughing)

Luna: Interesting thing to say...

Celestia: What?!

” Filthy Rich exclaimed, “I’m cumming!”

twow: “And we’re going!”

Celestia: That wasn’t your strongest.

twow: The funny has been drained.

        Filthy Rich began to spasm as his body was rocked with a full-body orgasm. Truffle Shuffle’s ass kept such a firm grip that the child could feel every bump and vein of the shaft inside him.

        Load after load of warm stallion spunk was pumped into the colt’s ass. Truffle Shuffle’s penis began to involuntarily twitch as his bottom was filled to overflowing.

twow: Then he painted Filthy’s lap.

Luna: Did he stir it first?

        Truffle Shuffle was thoroughly exhausted and slumped back onto Filthy Rich’s chest. The libertine kept his now-flaccid dick inside the child as more of his semen dripped down his balls.

        Filthy Rich used his forehooves to frig Truffle Shuffle’s semi-rigid cock.

        Though his eyes were unfocused, Truffle Shuffle stared in the direction of the royal sisters and the other colts.

Celestia: Then how did he stare at them?

twow: With a looooooooot of effort.

        “For making thy god cum, we have deigned to give thee a gift,” Celestia said, as she levitated a golden dildo out from underneath her pillow. This molded member was the crowning jewel in her private collection of decorative dongs.

Luna: “Is that for me?!”

twow: “I’m going to go sell it on E-Bay!”

Featherweight glanced down and grew fearful as he stared at the faux phallus. He tried to speak, but his mouth felt as though it were numb.

        As panic began to set in, Featherweight tried to lift his head. A knot formed in his stomach when the young colt realized that his entire body was paralyzed.

twow: This has gotta be the third time that drugs have been used in this.

Celestia: How do we have all of these drugs?

Steel: I think it’s just copious amounts of painkiller. How else would a dentist keep her patient on the chair during a drilling?

        Before Featherweight had time to fully comprehend what was happening to him, Celestia slid her golden dildo into his ass. The numb feeling which permeated his body helped to dull the sting of his sodomy.

twow: But it still hurt like a bitch.

        Large brightly-colored jewels embedded throughout the dildo added bumps which served to further stimulate the child’s prostate. The precious stones were so rare that if the princess were to sell her masturbatory aid, the profits could feed a family for a year.

Luna: Wow Celestia! Do you really ha-

Celestia: I do NOT.

twow: I want in on one of those. (smacked by Celestia)

 Featherweight’s mind was flooded with foreign sensations as he futilely tried to move.

        “There was more than wine in your goblet, my little one,” Celestia said, “The next part of our little game requires precision. We couldn’t have you thrashing about, so your wine was laced with a paralysing draught.”

Celestia: And why did I give him that?!

Luna: I don’t know.

twow: If you were just gonna shove that in his ass, I don’t see why you would...

        Celestia then produced a pair of stainless steel scissors. Featherweight tried to scream, but the only sounds he could make were unintelligible grunts.

twow: ....would need that...

Luna: Why is she holding the scissors?

Steel: Oh God...

        They were unlike any scissors Featherweight had seen before. They were long and slender, with the sharp end turned at a ninety degree angle. Its shape looked similar to the letter “L.”

twow: And that doesn’t stand for lucky.

        Pipsqueak was also realizing that Luna’s wine had left him paralysed. He couldn’t speak or move. All he could do was stare helplessly as the princess of the night towered over him.

        “Thine eyes glisten like stars in the night sky,” Luna said, “They truly are windows to the soul.”

Celestia: And doorways to the heart.

Luna: Aren’t they windows to the heart?

twow: They help you see things.

        Pip could feel his heart racing. His breathing was shallow and his thoughts were clouded by feeling that were new to him.

        Luna licked her lips hungrily as she stared into Pip’s eyes. Without any warning, Luna inserted a sterling silver butt plug into Pipsqueak’s sphincter.

twow: (jumps) YIPE!

Luna: Are you okay?!

Steel: I think he felt that.

twow: (wincing) I FELT that!

Steel: (Takes a slug of AJ Daniels) I’m awesome.

        He gasped as he felt Luna’s magical aura contract tightly against his shaft. Even though he couldn’t look down to see what was happening, Pipsqueak could feel Luna giving him an aura job with her magic.

        “That’s good, Pipsqueak,” Luna said, “Stain us with your warm essence.”

Celestia: “Make us have to wash our coats!”

Luna: (very briefly flashes to Nightmare)

twow: Easy Luna.

Steel: Yeah, before we have to clean the walls of any blood...

        As Pipsqueak drew nearer to his orgasm, Luna levitated what looked like a spoon with a razor’s edge. Blueblood and his friends were all focused on the princesses, who were about to take more than the virginity of their young lovers.

twow: ....

Luna: Now YOU need to be easy.

Celestia: Um, never mind.

        Celestia forced Featherweight’s mouth open with magic. The paralysing draught made sure he was in no position to resist. Using her magic, Celestia slid her curved scissors into Featherweight’s mouth. The sharp blades were on either side of his tongue.

Luna: She’s not.

 The young colt was screaming as loud as his condition would allow.

Celestia: I’m NOT.

        “A tongue as skilled as yours must taste divine,” Celestia said, calmly, “A fitting repast for a ruler.”

twow: You have got to be kidding me.

Steel: Knew I forgot to mention something! (Sticks the whole bottle in his mouth and drinks away.)

        Featherweight gave a muffled scream as the scissors pressed against his tongue. Truffle Shuffle felt his heart pounding in his chest as he watched his friend’s mutilation. He found himself unable to look away as Filthy Rich continued stroking the chubby colt’s rock hard cock.

twow: That’s going to be the bonus question.

Celestia and Luna: (taking notes)

        Celestia closed the scissors on Featherweight’s tongue, cutting it clean off.

Celestia: (gags)

Luna: (barfs)

twow:DAMN YOU BLUEBLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!

Steel: ANNNN’ SEZ OUTTA THERE! (Slurred)

The child gave a gurgled scream as his mouth filled with blood. Celestia used her magic to remove the severed tongue. She stared at it in awe and even kissed it. Her lips became stained with Featherweight’s blood.

twow: Not the best choice of lipstick.

Luna: (whispering) Should we be worried that he’s furious and making jokes?

Celestia: (whispering) Possibly.

        “Your princesses take what they desire without fear of reprisal,” Filthy Rich said sinisterly while frigging Truffle Shuffle’s cock, “Worship them! Spill your unworthy seed at the hooves of your gods!”

Luna: I’m going to need to bathe in brain bleach after this.

Celestia: That can’t be healthy.

Luna: WE DO NOT CARE!

        Truffle Shuffle cried desperately as he came on the ground. Filthy Rich aimed the ejaculate in Princess Celestia’s direction, but she didn’t notice. Her full attention was on Featherweight’s severed tongue.

twow: “It’s... so beautiful.”

Celestia: “This is in mouths?”

        Featherweight feared he might drown in his own blood, but Celestia took some black thread and used magic to stitch up the meaty stub which remained of his tongue. She rolled Featherweight onto his side and allowed the blood to flow out of his mouth and onto the pillow.

Luna: Like a waterfall.

twow: Niagara Falls this is not.

 His body went into shock and he started convulsing.

        Featherweight could see Celestia as she sucked the blood from his tongue. She continued to frig his prick with her aura. While the blood pumping into his cock had been diverted to his mouth, Featherweight was still erect enough to orgasm.

twow: Wut.

Celestia: How did he have the strength to?!

 Celestia held the colt’s severed tongue in front of his tip as he ejaculated all over it.

        Without saying a word, Celestia popped Featherweight’s semen-stained tongue into her mouth and began to eat it.

All: (barfs)

twow: Oh fuck, I feel awful.

Steel (TV): Ah am NAT cleanin’ that up...

        She sat on the pillow and rubbed her clit while she chewed. Drool and the child’s cum ran down her chin as Celestia was hit with another mind-blowing orgasm. She swallowed the chewed remains of Featherweight’s tongue while basking in her afterglow.

        Celestia raised a forehoof, which was slick with her marecum. She licked it clean before removing her dildo from Featherweight’s ass. After sniffing the anal dildo, she licked it clean as well.

Celestia: (shaking)

Luna: Sister?

Steel: Waaant a drink, Princess? (Holds up a bottle of alcohol)

Celestia: I will be fine.

        The blood flow from Featherweight’s mouth subsided as the last remnants of his orgasm dribbled out his limp dick.

        Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon hid their faces as Luna slid the spoon down the underside of Pipsqueak’s left eye.

Luna: WHAT.

twow: Are you about to go all Nightmare on me?

Luna: WE DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS STORY.

twow: Takin’ that as a yes.

The paralytic draught prevented him from speaking or moving, but Pipsqueak’s large, expressive eyes adequately conveyed the abject horror he was feeling.

        It looked as though he was crying blood. Luna slid the curved spoon back to where Pipsqueak’s retina met with his optic nerve. With a little more force, Luna manage to sever the nerve endings.

twow: (shoots the TV)

Celestia and Luna: (blast the TV with magic)

Steel: ... Shit... better keep my beer outta there... it might get blown up too! (Keeps on drinking)

        Pipsqueak’s left eye went dark.

twow: “Hey, who turned out the lights?”

        Blood began to flow out of his left socket. Now that the eye had been loosed from its cranial prison, Luna was going to savor every moment of her rare delicacy.

        She used the spoon to raise Pipsqueak’s gelatinous eyeball out of his socket. The head of the spoon was coated in blood.

Celestia: Because the detail was important.

Luna: It won’t be on the test now.

        Pipsqueak’s remaining eye was transfixed on Princess Luna. He could see his left eye, which was now cold and glassy looking, on her sharp spoon.

        On a pony’s head, there were so few places that were delicious. Ones options were limited to the brain, lips, tongue and eyes.

twow: What about the legs?

Luna: Or the ears?

Celestia: Possibly the tail?

twow: Are we really talking about this?

Luna: You see what the story is doing to us.

Steel: IT SAAAID HEAD ANYWAYS. (Burps)

        When Luna and her sister dined on pony flesh, it usually resulted in a slow and painful death for the victim. However, on this night, Featherweight and Pipsqueak were rare exceptions. They would survive their mutilations. The princesses had no intention of killing either of the children at this time; they just wanted a little snack.

twow: Because of COURSE they couldn’t be free from this hell.

Luna: I weep for them.

Celestia: We all are, sister.

Steel: I’m drinkin’ to ‘em. Brave kids... brave n’... Gawd, I should be more drunk...

        In all respects, the head was the most humblest and least edible part of the pony. A lesser cannibal would discard it in favor of juicy organs. Such short-sighted individuals would have been looked down upon by the royal sisters, who knew how to appreciate the best parts of the head.

Celestia: No, that’s because we do NOT EAT OUR SUBJECTS!

Luna: I enjoyed munching on math the most. (smacked by Celestia)

twow: A good reading snack is fun. (smacked by Celestia.)

        While it’s true that most of the head is inedible, for those who exercise due diligence, an extraordinary culinary treat is their reward. Brains, lips, tongue and eyes. With the exception of the brain, all of these tender bits are bite size and hardly filling.

twow: Makes sense.

Luna: How?

twow: Remember what I said about not thinking about it.

The trick is to savor them. Those who take their time are rarely disappointed.

        Luna gently placed Pipsqueak’s eyeball on her tongue. Her mouth was watering in anticipation as she increased the pace of her frigging. In spite of experiencing pain like he had never known, Pipsqueak couldn’t hold back his orgasm.

Celestia: How are we not even treating them like children?!

twow: Because they are just objects to you. Like...

Luna: Do not start that twow.

 He groaned weakly as he shot his seed into Luna’s mouth. Thin strands of semen landed on Luna’s muzzle and in her mouth. Pipsqueak’s left eyeball was now coated in his own jizz. Luna closed her lips and savored the taste.

twow: “I’m gonna need some pepper with this.”

Luna: “And a glass of water.”

        The silky texture of the eyeball melted in her mouth. It brought her to a state of self-actualization, where she contemplated the finer things in life.

        The mutilated bodies of Featherweight and Pipsqueak were of no use to the libertines in their weakened state, so the princesses cast them aside until their bodies had a chance to recover.

twow: Why?! So you can fuck them raw again?!

Celestia: I thought you were calm!

twow: I’m not! I’m just really fucking great at hiding it! BUT I CAN’T DO THIS!!!

Luna: (Silently hugs twow)

        Celestia and Luna watched as their fellow libertines molested the four remaining children. Fancy Pants was eating out Diamond Tiara, who came on his face. Fleur was urinating on Silver Spoon and forcing her to drink it.

Celestia: That’s used in sex?!

twow: Of course. It’s just natural lemonade.

 Truffle Shuffle was submissively sucking Filthy Rich’s shit-scented shaft in preparation for another round of sodomy. The only child whose ass hadn’t been stretched yet was Scootaloo.

Celestia: Rainbow would have a problem with that.

twow: Yeah...

        At Blueblood’s command, Scootaloo stopped licking the prince’s polished pole. He ordered her to stand in front of the princesses with her head bowed to the ground. Scootaloo genuflected before Celestia and Luna in a state of abject deference.

twow: Wut.

Luna: I don’t have a dictionary on me.

Celestia: And I don’t think it’s worth the time to look for one.

        Blueblood walked up behind Scootaloo and mounted her. He used his forehooves to pin her wings to the ground. Scootaloo winced in pain as she struggled to move.

        After pressing his knob against her anal entrance, Blueblood tried to force his way inside, but was met with undue resistance.

twow: “Welp, we’ll just have to try later then!”

        “Relax your anus,” Blueblood commanded. Scootaloo whimpered as she stopped clenching her glutes. Even without her rectal rancor, it was still a painfully tight fit for the prince. Flecks of Scootaloo’s blood dripped onto the floor as the prince’s stiff stallionhood tore her tush interior.

twow: FUCK YOU.

Celestia: Have you been teaching him the Royal Canterlot Voice?

Luna: No, but he’s good at it.

Steel: You cin learn ‘at? Damn...!

        Scootaloo was panting hard as she tried to focus through the pain. She clenched her teeth and shut her eyes. Her ears were pounding in her head.

        The maddening fervor of the libertines was beginning to affect Scootaloo’s friends. The other fillies were no longer protesting their treatment and Truffle Shuffle was willingly spreading his ass for Filthy Rich.

Luna: That’s only because they’ve learned that they have no choice.

Celestia: Or because they’ve accepted it.

twow: ....

The only ponies who had been allowed a rest were Pipsqueak and Featherweight. They lay beside each other drawing shallow, ragged breaths as their faces bled.

        Celestia and Luna watched with mild amusement as Blueblood continued to bugger Scootaloo. The prince whinnied blissfully as her warm anal passage caressed his stallionhood. It was so tight that Blueblood found it challenging to move his cock in any direction.

twow: Clench your ass and SQUEEZE IT OFF.

Celestia: Is that even possible?

twow: I really wanna find out.

 Every attempt to pull his pride in or out was met with fierce resistance.

        “A splendid Blue Moon Saturnalia,” Luna said to Blueblood, “You certainly picked a fine group of children this year.”

Luna: “I wanted to choose the children to horribly twist, but you did fine!”

        Blueblood snorted contemptuously as he rutted Scootaloo with the fury of a charging rhino. She was powerless under his weight and could only elicit small squeaks of discomfort with each thrust of his mighty cock.

twow: An inch and a half does not equal mighty.

        Blueblood’s earlier thoughts resurfaced as he reflected on the cowardice of his aunts, who hid within the safety of their castle walls and waited for him to bring them victims.

        “Fear,” Blueblood said to his aunts, “You are both cowards. You fear for your lives, which is why you insist on keeping to the shadows and hiding your deeds from a world that deems them wicked.”

twow: That’s because THEY made their deeds wicked!

Celestia: They had to have told him this.

        Prince Blueblood was brutal in many ways, including his brutal honesty. Celestia and Luna were shocked that he dared confront them so disrespectfully.

        “Silence, nephew,” Celestia said as her brow furrowed, “Thou hast the brazen balls to address us in this manner?!”

Luna: Burn?

Celestia: Does my character beat him now? Please?

        As Celestia spoke these words, the “brazen balls” in question were slapping roughly against Scootaloo’s small slit.

twow: ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING ALLITERATION!!!

Luna: Are you...

twow: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Celestia: He’s not.

        “I’m not afraid of you, you cannibalistic old cunts,” Blueblood said, baring his teeth, “A true libertine lives life without limits. We do as we wish and kill all who would hinder our path to pleasure. You used to believe that once.”

        Celestia and Luna looked at each other, then turned away ashamed. Deep in their hearts, they knew Blueblood’s admonishment was true.

Celestia: Wouldn’t that be horrible to the economy?

Luna: And the population?

twow: And logic?

        “The Celestia of olden times wouldn’t hide within the safety of her castle and mutilate children,” Blueblood said as he nodded towards the unconscious bodies of Pipsqueak and Featherweight, “The Celestia of old took her debaucheries to the populace and created panic in the streets! She skewered infants on her mighty horn and laughed while their bloody entrails cascaded down her face.”

twow: Oh hai “Derpy’s Finest Hour” flashbacks! I missed you.

        “Tis true, Blueblood, tis true,” Celestia said as a single tear fell down her cheek, “We have grown soft in our old age.”

Luna: If this is soft, I would rather not understand what “hard” was.

        Using his magic, Blueblood forced Scootaloo to lift her head. Celestia and Luna stared at her as she opened her eyes. Blueblood continued to ream her butt raw as his mind was swept away by unbridled lust. Despair fully engulfed Scootaloo, which was evident by her hopeless expression.

twow: ..

Luna: Uh oh.

Celestia: Hang in there.

 She didn’t feel like a pony. She felt like nothing more than an extension of Blueblood’s sexual rage.

        The other libertines stopped their orgy to listen to the prince’s words. All eyes were on Blueblood as he continued buggering Scootaloo.

Luna: “How about that! A speech AND a show!”

Celestia: This castle has everything!

        “You have nothing to fear from these pitiable peasants,” Blueblood said, “We’re invincible!”

        Blueblood’s friends cheered and echoed their agreement. A sloppy sucking sound could be heard as Blueblood pulled his pride out of Scootaloo’s ass. After her recent embuggering, she lacked the strength to stand.

twow: ...

Celestia: Should we leave him alone?

Luna: He knows how to use the weapons in here, so that might be bad.

Steel: Well, not for you two.

 Blueblood’s firm cock was the only thing holding her up, so when it was removed, Scootaloo slumped wearily to the ground. Blueblood took a step back and gave a mighty whinny as he came. His powerful cock twitched as globs of semen splattered across Scootaloo’s back

twow: ....

Luna: It was like a fire hose.

Celestia: Oh, that was HORRIBLE Luna!

Luna: Thanks.

Steel: Points. That was actually funny to me.

. Her tiny wings were dripping with his sticky essence by the time his ejaculation had finished.

        As one final act of contempt, Blueblood spat on the back of Scootaloo’s head. She simply lay there, unmoving. Broken in body and mind.

twow: (agitated) I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!! PLEASE MAKE IT END!!!

Celestia and Luna: (hug twow)

Celestia: We are here with you.

        Celestia and Luna were thoroughly impressed by Blueblood’s words and his total subjugation of the young filly.

        “Nephew, you have reminded us what it truly means to be a libertine,” Luna said, “for which we are truly grateful. We now see that thou will make a fine successor to the crown.”

Celestia: You know I didn’t have total chaos be a part of our rule for a REASON.

        Blueblood beamed as Scootaloo’s anal blood dripped from his semi-hard dick.

        “However,” Celestia said, solemnly, “I could not reign over Equestria without my beloved sister by my side and it is no different with you, nephew. You cannot hope to rule a kingdom alone. Behind every great king is a queen licking his bunghole.

Luna: What.

Celestia: I don’t think that’s how it works.

You need such a mare in your life.”

        Blueblood smiled and nodded at the wisdom of his aunt. In spite of her overlycautious nature, Celestia was still able to dispense sound advice.

        “I’ve already given the matter some thought,” Blueblood said, “I plan to take a wife before my next birthday.”

twow: Unless you die.

Luna: (taking sword from twow) Let me just see that...

Blueblood’s friends cheered at the happy announcement. Even the perpetually bitter Filthy Rich was supportive.

        Celestia approached Blueblood. He bowed before his aunt. She smiled. Her mouth was still stained with Featherweight’s blood.

        Blueblood suddenly felt ashamed for his earlier remarks.’

Celestia: Ah! Emotions!

Luna: IT’S EVIL!!!!

        “Forgive me, my princess, if my tone was too harsh,” Blueblood said.

        “Not at all,” Celestia said tenderly, “Your stern words were just what we needed to remind us of who we are... and who you will soon be.”

        Blueblood’s heart lept to his throat.

twow: And he choked to death on it.

Luna: The entire world rejoiced.

        “Could Celestia mean what I think she means?” Blueblood thought.

        Celestia leaned in and whispered so that only Blueblood could hear.

        “The hour of your ascension draws near,” Celestia said, lovingly, “During the past several years, your actions have proven that you are worthy of the greatest gift a libertine can receive: Eternal life.”

twow: And with that, Equestria is fucked forever.

Celestia: ....

Luna: That...made me really sad.

        Blueblood’s recent orgasm paled in comparison to the joy he felt in his heart.

        “When you have chosen a mate, Luna and I will bestow upon each of you the secret to eternal life and beauty,” Celestia said, “The four of us shall eternally rule and reign over Equestria in an unending orgy of rape, death and destruction.”

twow: Okai. Ya know. Because.

Celestia: twow?

twow: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Luna: The kingdom would fall apart sooner or later at that rate!

        This chance for new responsibility is what Blueblood had been preparing for his whole life. No longer would he be beneath his aunt’s shadow. Soon, he would be king.

twow: “Oh I just can’t wa-” I’m not going to ruin that song.

        Blueblood stood before his friends, his scarred face beaming with pride. As he glanced around the room, he noticed that all of the children were exhausted and confused.

twow: If you say that you don’t know why, I will castrate you with a butter knife.

Celestia: Could you even do that?!

twow: Yes.

Steel: Damn sure he’d try.

 Pipsqueak and Featherweight had each fainted due to loss of blood. The other four children had various welts and bruises covering their young bodies.

        All the other libertines bowed before Blueblood, including the princesses. Blueblood issued a statement to capture their imagination.

Luna: That’s what pictures are for.

Celestia: They last longer as well.

        “I will usher in a new age of hedonistic debauchery, the likes of which Equestria has never seen!” Blueblood said passionately, “I shall soon rule as dictator and will rule with an iron dick!”

Steel (TV): And that’s the end... I hope you’re damn proud right now, Blueblood, you inhuman fuck.

twow: (head in hands, body shaking with rage and sadness) I can’t do it anymore...

Luna: twow?!?!

Celestia: Let us leave. I have... words for our nephew.

???: (from Pinkamena’s end) BLUEBLOOD!!!Where are you, you limp-dicked son of a bitch!?

Steel: Ohhhhohoho! (Grabs his lead pipe) Someone wants a wooord with youuu, Princey...

Fallen Prime: (from TV) Pinkie, get Steel to back the fuck off. BLUEBALLS IS MINE.

Steel (TV): Jackass, I want a piece of ‘em, too! C’mon!

Fallen: You’ve had MORE than your fair share of chances. Don’t get pissy about me stealing ONE.

Steel: Oh BULLSHIT. I haven’t been able to hurt him ONCE. All I got was to throw around a couple insults and help Twow riff. Lemme put my pipe to work! Seriously!

Fallen: (points a handgun at Steel) Do YOU want this too!? I’ll fucking do it!

Steel: Ok, NOW you’re really fucked in the head. Gonna shoot a friend, Fallen?

Fallen: Back off this once and I won’t have to.

Steel: ... Long as you don’t put ‘em six feet under. I want a good shot at ‘em afterwards. (Sits back down and puts his pipe under his chair) Fucking Fallen and his armory...

Fallen: Good boy. (turns to Blueblood with a manic grin) Let’s have a chat, Princey.

Steel: Patronizing me? Great.

Luna: Fallen?!

Steel: Yep. Seems Blueblood’s clock has finally ticked to zero.

Blueblood: I honored the deal you made! No other ponies were hurt and you said that twow was fair game!

Steel: We DO have recordings of these... and I’ll refer you to Chapter 8.

Fallen: I DID say that, didn’t I. And you even managed to take away my leverage to keep you in line by bringing your aunts into it.

Blueblood: Then, why are YOU here?

Fallen: Because I read on after Pinkie’s chapter. I saw chapter nine. And I just decided, you know what? FUCK the deal.

Celestia: Fallen, what ARE you talking about?

Fallen: YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH.

Luna: (gasping) twow! Get off the floor!

twow: (in fetal position) No! It’s safe here!

Steel: Not for long, T! I think the Princess is about to light the building up!

Fallen: Are we FINISHED?

Steel: I think DEAD is a proper term, Fallen.

Fallen: Oh, you don’t even KNOW dead.

Steel: Ever been to the heart of the Sun? (Thumbs at the TV) I think Celestia’s about to put us there!

Fallen: Not before I’m done. You see that, Blueblood? you see that poor, soulless wreck of a man sucking his thumb in the corner?

Luna: Wait, he’s not sucking his thumb.

Celestia: (light facehoof)

twow: (shuddering) Can I just go home now...

Fallen: You just stepped well beyond the borders of torture and did an acrobatic fucking pirouette right into making him relive some MAJOR trauma. Even for me, THAT SHIT IS TOO FAR. But what ISN’T too far for me right now is THIS!(puts a single bullet through the knees of each of Blueblood’s hind legs)

Steel: Aaaand he’s down.

Celestia and Luna: FALLEN!

Fallen: How’s that high and mighty attitude treating you NOW, bitch!?

Steel: (Rubs his ear) Jesus... your armory have any silencers, Fallen? That mighta woken up someone.

Pinkamena: I don’t think that was a good idea Fallen. I liked it though, but maybe it wasn’t the best.

Fallen: No, it wasn’t. The BEST is that he can’t run away. Steel, I just gave you an infinity of chances to take a crack at this motherfucker.

Steel: And now I love ya, buddy. (Grabs the sword he was sharpening, as well as the pipe) Alright, let’s see... should do something about that horn first. (Gets up and moves around Blueblood) Can’t have you warping away, can we? (Smiles demonicly)

(A loud crash is heard in the lab)

Celestia: Luna...oh, not again!

Nightmare Moon: (from TV) DO NOT TOUCH HIM. WE WILL PUNISH HIM OURSELVES. (Nightmare disappears with Blueblood in tow.)

Steel: SON OF A KILL-STEALING BITCH!!!!

Fallen: I thought we dealt with that already!

Celestia: That’s going to end well.

Pinkamena: Princess, I’m going to turn the TV off for a minute.

Celestia: That’s fine Pinkie. I needed to speak with twow.

Steel: C’mon Fallen, let’s go after ‘em! I AM NOT LETTING NIGHTMARE TAKE THIS FROM ME!!! (Charges off)

Fallen: ...eh. You do that. Hey Pinkie, let’s talk torture!

(Pinkamena cackles gleefully as the TV blips off.)

Celestia: How are you handling it?

twow: Just one more...right? Please?

Celestia: Yes. And when I brought you here, I knew that you’d accomplish things here.

twow: But this...

Celestia: Is just another trial for you. I know that you can do it.

twow: And what if I can’t, Celestia?

Celestia: Then nopony can say that you didn’t give it your all.

twow: ...well, you do have a point.

Celestia: I’m not going to make you continue this...

twow: Fallen and Steel had a point. I started this, so I’ll try. I’ll try to finish it.

Celestia: (hugs twow) And if you can’t, contact me immediately. I’m being very serious. Do you understand me?

twow: (nods) Yes. I got it.

Celestia: Good. And there’s nothing more I’d like to do but stay, but I should stop my sister before she injures one of your friends.

twow: It’s okay Celestia. Go on.

Celestia: Are you sure?

twow: Yeah. It’s fine.

(Celestia hugs twow again, then releases him and disappears in a flash of white light.)

twow: (sighing) I guess that I’ve got a break sign...

120 Days of Blueblood, Chapter 10

It’s time.It’s finally time to put this to rest.

You all know that I’ve been trying my hardest to finish this story, almost failing twice. Truthfully, I’m surprised that I was able to get this far.

I’d say that in all, this was a bit of a success. I’ve been able to face my past with a bit more determination now. Don’t get me wrong, it still hurts like a bitch, but I’ve got my friends and a strong (albeit insane) mind. I’m sure that I can hold on.

And now, after all this time, pain and suffering, it’s finally here. We’ve finally reached chapter ten of 120 Days of Blueblood.

Thanks for everyone that stuck with me through this.

And so...it finally ends.

twow: (sighs) So tired...

Pinkamena: twow? You there?

twow: Where else could I go?

Pinkamena: True. How are you holding up?

twow: I’m doing my best.

Blueblood: That’s nice. And now it’s time for that to end.

twow: (smirking) What’s with the cut on your face? And...is that a bandage on your side?

Blueblood: Maybe...

twow: My friends fucked you up, didn’t they?

Blueblood: It doesn’t matter! It’s finally time for the final chapter!

twow: FINALLY. Just tell me who it is and send them in so I can get the fuck out of here.

Blueblood: (smiling sadistically) Oh, you aren’t going to enjoy this, twow.

twow: I didn’t enjoy the last nine chapters. What makes this special?

Blueblood: (pointing) That necklace. Why did you make it?

twow: To keep track of the emotions between myself and Flu- (pales) No.

Blueblood: Oh, yes!

twow: NO! I don’t care if I have to riff it myself, just leave my fucking girlfriend out of it!

Blueblood: Consider this the icing on the cake.

twow: FUCK YOU, BLUEBLOOD!

Pinkamena: I’m sorry, twow...

(A banging is heard on the lab door)

I BROUGHT ICE CREAM CAKE AND CREAM SODA. LET’S RIFF THIS FUCKING SHIT.

twow: Nocturnal! Fluttershy!

Fluttershy: (dashes forwards and hugs twow) How are you feeling?

twow: Horrible, but better because you two are here.

No_M: Well I for one refuse to let you finish this garbage without me, if only to cushion the pain.

Blueblood: I wasn’t expecting the human. Hmm.

twow: Pinkie, did you break reality? Even though we agreed never to do that again?

Pinkamena: Yes.

twow: I’m proud of you.

(The doors rise up from the ground to shut and lock. Some-fucking-how.)

No_M: (handing twow a piece of cake) So, twow, you ready to do this? Well, I know you aren’t, but are you as ready as you’ll be?

twow: Well, I’ve got one of my best friends, my girlfriend and a friend in the booth. Let’s do the best we can.

Fluttershy: (nods) I’m ready.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

The only way to a woman's heart is along the path of torment.”

twow: Actually, it’s through a man’s wallet. (smacked by both females)

No_M: The fastest way to my heart is food. Mint cookies and ice cream.

— Marquis de Sade

twow: Seems like a nice guy.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single stallion in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

No_M: And anyone who breaks this universal rule, is obviously completely messed up and should be executed.

twow: Guess I’m sort of in the clear then.

Prince Blueblood was no exception to this rule.

Fluttershy:I fear for any mare that he chooses to be his wife.

His recent escapades had left him on the cusp of acquiring his aunts’ wealth and power, in addition to learning the secrets of their immortality. Their only caveat for bestowing these priceless gifts was for him to find somepony to wed.

twow: Wait, how the hell did Celestia and Luna do it then? They aren’t married.

Celestia and Luna had skirted the marriage clause for their immortality by wedding each other in a secret ceremony.

No_M: Guess that answers your question twow.

twow: It’s questions like that, I don’t WANT answered.

Without any other heirs, Blueblood knew he couldn’t depend on incest as his aunts had done.

twow: Well, there’s always Shining...OH WAIT.

If he wanted the fullest blessings of eternal life, he’d have to look beyond the family bloodline for his wife.

His aunts’ dark magics hinged on the unification of two souls into one. Celestia and Luna had done it; now it was Blueblood’s turn. If he wanted immortality, he’d have to bring somepony else along with him.

Fluttershy: So he and his wife get to be immortal? That’s...nice.

twow: Not in this universe.

The notion of true love held no meaning for Prince Blueblood. He merely desired a mare whom he could dominate and subjugate to his will for all eternity.

No_M: So, essentially what he wants is a sex slave, not a wife.

Fluttershy: I think he flipped those definitions in his dictionary.

She would be bound to him, both body and soul, while catering to his baser desires. He would shape her like a marble statue until she was a living testament to libertine ideals. A slave to her own carnal appetites... and his.

twow: Because actually caring for somepony involves having a soul. I might be the only exception to that rule.

Unfortunately for the prince, Blueblood was having a difficult time finding a wife. Ever since his aunts decreed that he would soon be sharing the throne with them, fate seemed to conspire against him to prevent his coronation from happening.

Fluttershy: I can only wonder why.

The latest inconvenience was the untimely death of Soarin. His tenure as Captain of the Guards was relatively short-lived. Soarin had no way of knowing that less than a month after Sister Spectrum’s execution, he would also meet his own grim demise.

twow: I can’t even be surprised by this point.

During a routine training mission in a thunderstorm, Soarin was struck by a bolt of lightning and killed.

Fluttershy: Wow. That’s really unlucky.

twow: Forgive me if I have no regrets for his death.

 Most viewed it as mere coincidence, while the more suspicious guards and peasants spread rumors that the lightning was summoned by the restless soul of the nun, who enacted vengeance on the one who stole her virginity.

Blueblood had no time for ghost stories.

No_M: Haha, I get it. Because she’s a ghost. And she killed him. Hahaheeeeech.

twow: You sound overjoyed.

His mind was too focused on thoughts of the flesh to be distracted by murmurings of the spirit. Choosing a new Captain of the Guards seemed of little importance when compared to the task of choosing a wife.

twow: That is serious business.

Aside from his close circle of libertine friends and his aunts, Blueblood had never shared a meaningful relationship with anypony; but it wasn’t for lack of trying. Most of Blueblood’s previous lovers

No_M: In the loosest sense of the word.

Fluttershy: I have the feeling that word shouldn’t exist in his vocabulary.

had ended up in various pieces, with the mare bleeding out and begging for death.

twow: How in the hell do you fuck up having sex?!

Blueblood was often heartbroken by his victims’ intolerance for pain, but being a gentlecolt,

No_M: Again, loosest sense of said word.

twow: That word and Blueblood should never combine.

he would grant their requests and kill them.

Blueblood had spent many sleepless nights reflecting on the flaws of his previous relationships. None of them had been willing to embrace libertine philosophy.

twow: Not to mention the part where you ruthlessly murdered some of them.

“I can’t abide weakness,” Blueblood thought as he paced around his room, “I need somepony utterly devoid of moral restraint.”

He eyed the trophies he had accumulated so far. The dress. The horn. The lock of hair. The cider barrel. The dagger. While their former owners had all exhibited great courage in the face of pure malevolence, none of them were truly worthy of his hoof in marriage.

No_M: Hm. I have no idea why. MAYBE BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL FUCKING DEAD.

Fluttershy: Wait, really?

twow:Sweetheart, this story hasn’t been kind to ANYone.

Prince Blueblood knew that time was running out. If he desired to partake in his aunts’ immortality, then he had to choose a bride before his next birthday. The question was how to go about finding his future spouse.

twow: Get a group of mares, give them sharp objects, and see which one can fatally wound you first.

 Blueblood feared that meeting all potential candidates one at a time would take too long. With that in mind, he decided that an exhibition would be the ideal test.

The next day, a proclamation was sent throughout the kingdom ordering fillies

No_M: How about we leave the children out of this. Oh wait, I forgot what story we were reading.

twow: (slightly twitches)

 and mares to attend an audience with the Princesses at Canterlot Castle. It was made known that the prince might choose his future wife from amongst those in attendance. Dozens of mares from throughout the kingdom flocked to the castle, in hopes of winning Blueblood’s favor.

twow: Okay.

Fluttershy: I’m willing to bet that none of them know about Blueblood’s true nature.

Some fathers sent their young daughters, in hopes that Blueblood would choose one of them as his child bride.

twow:OKAY.

No_M: Whelp. Everything’s downhill from here. Not that we were uphill to begin with. But it’s time to tumble from earth into the firey pits of hell.

twow: Let’s do this.

The royal subjects were led into the spacious throne room. Celestia sat nobly as she surveyed the crowd. She was still viewed as an all-powerful Goddess by the populace, so nopony made direct eye contact with her as a sign of deference.

Fluttershy: If they looked at her eyes, they combusted on the spot.

Luna sat on a plush throne to Celestia’s right, while Blueblood sat on a throne to the left of his aunts. Everypony remained silent, out of reverence for the royal sisters. The only sounds heard came from the two court musicians; a gray-coated earth pony with a black mane and a blind, white-coated unicorn with a blue mane.

Fluttershy: Octavia and Vinyl?

twow: I’m still dwelling on the fact that Vinyl’s BLIND.

 The blind mare had tied a black cloth around her sightless eyes.

The enchanted melodies of the musicians were especially-designed by the royal sisters to make all those who heard them more open to suggestions. These hypnotizing hymns had been an integral part of Equestrian worship services for nearly an eon.

Fluttershy: Was that alliteration?

twow: Let’s say no so I don’t dent the desk.

 With the assistance of their churches, Celestia and Luna had managed to beguile the public into blindly following them with their mesmerizing music.

No_M: It’s funny because one of the musicians is blind.

twow: I don’t get it.

When it was time for the exhibition to begin, the royal guards entered the room and sealed the exits. Some of the mares in attendance were nervous, but most were still excited by the prospect of impressing the prince and becoming royalty.

twow: It’s that big of a deal, huh?

Fluttershy: You wouldn’t want to be royalty?

twow: I like the position I’m in.

Celestia rose from her throne and took a step towards the crowd. Everypony in the throne room respectfully bowed their heads as Celestia addressed the huddled masses.

"Our nephew, Prince Blueblood desires a wife," Celestia said, "You hath come here today in hopes of finding favor amongst royalty. The prince shall select his bride from amongst those who submit themselves before this court to a game of fornication with the most virile members of the Royal Guard."

twow: Yes. To find the right mare, have everypony in the room START FUCKING.

No_M:It’s a legit strategy.

twow: Tell me that’s not how you found Fallen then.

The guards grinned salaciously as they began to remove their armor. Some of the mares in attendance were horrified by the prospect; others were repulsed, but all were shocked beyond measure.

Fluttershy: At least none of them were excited?

twow: That’s like saying that at least murder victims didn’t feel pain after they died.

Celestia was viewed by her subjects as the embodiment of virtue and chastity. To hear her speak so plainly and encouragingly of fornication shook the faith of the populace to its core.

Several of the mares were infuriated by the proposal and muttered that Celestia had gone mad. While some tried to leave, most mares stayed behind; mainly those who were considered ugly or poor or who had become fully-hypnotized by the music.

twow: The music is hypnotizing now. Okay.

Fluttershy: You don’t have much hope.

twow: You’ve SEEN what’s happened so far!

Three mares who attempted to leave found the doors sealed shut and blocked by royal guards.

“Please allow us to leave this perverse display,” one mare said, anxiously, “We do not wish to degrade ourselves in such a disgraceful manner.” The guards smiled wickedly.

twow: “First, give us your cookies.”

“Princess Celestia has decreed that all mares in attendance exhibit their sexual prowess before the prince,” a guard said,

No_M: Technically Celestia said “The prince shall select his bride from amongst those who submit themselves”. That implies those who are willing. Your logic is flawed. Go burn in hell.

twow: Hell’s too good for them, my dear Nom.

“To refuse the command of a Goddess would be blasphemy of the highest order. It is my sacred duty to save you from yourself.”

Fluttershy: I don’t know. I’m a virgin and I’m okay with it.

Without another word, the guards stationed at the door tackled the three mares who had attempted to leave.

“The horror! The horror!” one mare cried, “Stop! Mercy! Mercy!”

Fluttershy:And...nothing happened.

twow: DUH.

“I’ll teach you proper respect for the commands of Celestia!” one guard said as he tore the frightened mare’s dress off. Once she was exposed, he began lapping at her nether parts as she struggled in vain to escape.

twow: I’m going to call him “Dogguy.”

The guards then proceeded to rape the frightened mares with unrelenting cruelty. Their victims’ screams commingled with the orgasmic cries of those in attendance who willingly subjugated their bodies for the viewing pleasure of the libertine royals.

twow: (sighs) Why do I feel depressed already?

Celestia, Luna and Prince Blueblood surveyed the spontaneous orgy before them with amusement. All mares who tried to escape were raped and sodomized by the guards at the far end of the throne room.

Fluttershy: I thought there was only three guards.

twow: There was. They could bum rush them.

 All willing participants moved as close to the throne as possible, in order to give Prince Blueblood a better view of their fornications.

One of the fillies

No_M: NOPE. LALALALALA I’M NOT LISTENING. (slams hand over twow’s eyes) WE CAN’T SEE YOU ANYMORE STORY. GOODNIGHT.

Fluttershy: You’re not welcome for coming!

in attendance had a pronounced lisp. The guards tugged on her red, curly mane as they held her down. Erect stallionhoods surrounded her; already leaking from arousal.

twow: Oh, GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!

“Pleath, thtop!” the frightened filly said as, “I jutht wanted to be a princeth!”

Fluttershy: (visibly shaken) Prince, or princess? I can’t tell.

twow: Something she won’t be.

“You will,” one of the guards said, in mock comfort, “I have your royal scepter for you right here, your majesty!”

No_M: We’ve officially reached the part of the story where the dick euphemisms have been busted out. Fucking nope.

twow: If I know Bronystories, it’s gonna get worse.

The filly screamed as the guard thrust his throbbing rod into her virgin slit. Blood trickled down her inner thigh as the stallion tore her hymen asunder. He gave a primal grunt as he leaned over her back and held her down.

twow: I can’t make this funny! What do you want from me?!

Fluttershy: (hugs twow) Just, just do what you’ve been doing.

 The guards encircling her head came all over her face and mane as she wept.

“Take it out!” The filly screamed, as jizz slid down her cheek, “It hurth!”

Her bleeding cunt gripped his pulsating dick like a vice.

No_M: Y’know, technically, a vice grip would break his dick in half. There are things you don’t put in vices, and body parts are one of those things, so why on earth is the vice analogy ALWAYS. FUCKING. USED.

twow: Clop writers wanna make sure we understand how tight it is.

No_M: Clop writers’ analogies are stupid and illogical.

The resistance was tremendous. They guard knew he wouldn’t last much longer at this rate.

“I see our little princess already has her cutie mark,” the guard said, as he groaned with each thrust, “That means she’s... oh, old enough to continue the... uh, royal bloodline!”

Fluttershy: Even though she’s not really capable to do that.

twow: And this guard is not royal.

“No, pleathe!” the filly wailed, “I’m too young to be a mama!”

The guard whinnied triumphantly as he ejaculated in her womb; filling her with his seed.

“No,” the filly sobbed, “Pleathe... I don’t wanna’ get pregnant.”

Fluttershy: Maybe she’s on the pill?

twow: Does that even exist in Equestria?

The guard held his cock inside until his entire stockpile of sperm coated the filly’s inner walls. After he finally pulled out, she barely had time to take a breath before another guard enjoyed some sloppy seconds. His cock was even thicker than the previous prick.

twow: Truly vital information right there.

Fluttershy: Is this gonna be on the test?

twow: The farther I get away from this when it’s done, the better.

The filly screamed as the second stallion quickly came inside her already cum-filled cunt.

twow: Ya know, it’d be fitting if she had an STD.

Fluttershy: HOW.

twow: She’s single-handedly infecting the whole Royal Guard. She deserves a medal.

“Next in line!” the first guard called out to his troops as the second-in-command pulled out of her sopping, bloody hole, “At this rate, she’ll never know who the father is!”

No_M: Right now, I package medical devices for a living. And some of them look like they’d be pretty good at removing male genetaila. Really tempted to smuggle some of them out and test ‘em on these guards.

twow: I kinda want to help.

“Let me go!” The filly screamed as she was raped a third time, “I wanna’ go home! I wanna’ go home!”

The guards surrounding her were deaf to her pleas. Their only concerns were their own pleasures and obeying the whims of the libertine royals.

twow: Yeah, that’s how rape works. Glad that’s established.

Fluttershy: Are you-

twow: I’m FINE.

In another part of the room, some of the guards had brought whips and other instruments of sexual torture. Mares who refused to obey the guards’ commands or proved ineffectual at providing pleasure were whipped and beaten until they improved.

twow: “You will be good at sex, and you will LIKE IT.”

Not all of the mares who participated in the orgy were single. Some were there with their husbands. One stallion, who was a baker by trade, had come to the castle with his spouse to make a delivery. Once the orgy had commenced, the husband wanted to leave, but his wife had other plans and saw her opportunity.

Fluttershy:Oh, sweet princesses, it’s the Cakes.

twow: As long as they didn’t bring their children, I might be okay.

The baker watched horrified as his wife presented herself to three guards. She hiked up her tail in an inviting manner and wiggled her fat hips to further entice the other stallions.

twow: Hey Nom, you see this one coming?

"My love, how can you do this?" the baker said, as his wife disrobed, "Don’t allow your soul to be consumed by these immoral lusts. Stop forsaking the happy life we've built together in pursuit of fleeting carnal pleasure."

No_M: At least not EVERYONE with a dick in this story is a filthy animal.

Fluttershy: That’s a rarity.

No_M: Welp. Too bad Rarity’s dead. …Not sure why that was the first thing I thought of...

The guards knocked the husband to the ground as they surrounded his wife. One guard wasted no time and straightaway slid his fleshy tool into her inviting twat,

No_M: (headdesk)

twow: I think that’s gonna be your pain,just like alliteration is mine.

which was already moist from forbidden arousal. The guard leaned forward onto the wife’s ample back fat as he repeatedly thrust inside her. The cuckolded baker was beside himself with grief and shame as his wife committed adultery before his very eyes.

twow: Dude.Stab the guard in the eye and smack the bitch you call your wife.

Fluttershy: twow!

twow: I am in a verydark place at the moment.

 Her perverse cries of ecstasy echoed throughout the room and added to the shouts and screams of the orgy.

"This is my chance to win favor with the prince and live in this luxurious castle," the wife said, while licking several guards’ cocks, "If he is pleased by my fornications, I'll at last have all the riches and splendor a poor bastard like yourself could never give me."

twow: Wooooooooooooooooow. I have nothing for that.

The husband stared with contempt as the guards violated the body of his wife. She moaned sensually as she took three guard's cocks at once. Tears streamed down her husband’s face as the shame and ignominy became more than he could bear.

Fluttershy: Well, at least she’s skilled.

twow: You’re reaching, aren’t you?

Fluttershy: Tell me you aren’t.

"I gave you a treasure greater than all worldly wealth," the husband said in righteous indignation, "I helped create our two beautiful children. If you care not for me or fidelity, at least think of the twins."

twow: Yeah, you selfish bitch!

The mare removed the guard's long pole from her mouth and rubbed its length all over her face. Her snout was coated with saliva as she churlishly addressed her simpering spouse.

"Fornicate the children!"

No_M: Please no.

twow: I think we’ve had ENOUGH of that.

Fluttershy: I need a hug...

she said, emphatically, "And go fornicate thyself as well, husband!"

No_M: And you ma’am, can go fornicate YOURSELF with a few dozen rusty sawblades.

The wife cackled with delight as the guards came, one by one, all over her sweaty body. Her fat ass, back and face were glazed with stallion seed as cum dripped from her puffy pussy.

“Yes! More you well-hung bastards!” the baker’s wife screamed, “Cover me with your creamy nut butter.”

No_M: WHAAAAAAAAAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK.

twow: (gags) Yup, just barfed in my mouth.

Fluttershy: I wonder if that’s good on toast.

Her husband prostrated himself on the ground and wept bitterly. His sorrows were soon interrupted as he was lifted roughly off the ground. One of the unicorn guards levitated the stallion over to his wife, in order for him to more clearly see the results of her adulterous aftermath.

Fluttershy: I think he understands.

twow: Maybe he’ll finally want to join in.

The stallion winced as he watched the seed of several strangers leaking from his wife’s marehood and ass. The smell was almost as intolerable as the sight itself.

“Make yourself useful and clean up their mess,” the wife said, sternly, “These lovely guards have awakened within me pleasures that a loathsome little worm like yourself could never hope to satisfy.

twow: You had twins SOMEHOW.

 Since they took such good care of me, you should swallow their seed to show your appreciation.”

No_M: If you can’t stand him that fucking much, then why are you goddamned married to him. WITH CHILDREN?! HOW.

Fluttershy: I think I need another hug...

The unicorn guard used magic to force the husband’s head against his wife’s crotch. His lips and snout were soon covered in the warm, sticky cum flowing from her cooze. Reluctantly, the husband began to timidly lap up the guard’s jizz and swallow, which caused him to shiver with revulsion.

twow: It tasted like piss and nachos.

Fluttershy: That’s...nasty.

While the baker was busily engaged in this unpleasant task, he was unaware that one of the guards was already hard again and preparing to mount him.

twow: Are...are you kidding me?!

Fluttershy: The story isn’t giving us a chance to be funny.

“Make a wish, you cuckolded cunt,” the guard said to the baker, “I’m going in dry.”

No_M: (dry heaves)

twow: Black hole bucket’s in the corner if you’re gonna barf.

With a sadistic grin, the unicorn guard inserted his cock into the baker’s virgin asshole. This violation caused the husband to stop sucking jizz from his wife’s pussy and shriek in pain. He thrashed about and tried to run, but the mounted guard pinned the baker down and kept him from fleeing. With one sharp thrust, the guard hilted his poo prodder

No_M: (vomits) Just... for once in this story... just call it a dick. Penis. Male genetalia. SOMETHING THAT’S NOT A DICK EUPHEMISM.

Fluttershy: That’s the worst name for a penis that’s ever been thought of.EVER.

inside the baker, who screamed frantically as his anal walls bled.

“Mercy!” the baker cried, “Extricate yourself at once! I’m no stallion stuffer!”

twow: Why is it so hard to use normal speech” Like, “Hey! I don’t fuck stallions! Get the fuck out!”

“You’re no stallion at all,” his wife mused, while using her forehoof to tease her clit. After coating her hoof in the semen oozing from her slit, the baker’s wife began rubbing the jizz all over her glistening pussy lips.

“You make a much better mare,” the guard said to the baker, “Perhaps the prince would consider you to be his bride.”

twow: If that was the case, my girlfriend wouldn’t be here.

Fluttershy: Maybe I’m here to help you feel better?

twow: Seeing as how Bluebastard hates me, I doubt it.

This derisive remark caused the two other guards surrounding the baker to laugh uproariously. The husband sobbed uncontrollably from the pain and mounting ignominy of it all. The rough thrusting of the guard was causing blood to trickle down the baker’s taint and onto his balls.

twow: Taint? The fuck does that mean?!

 There was no arousal for the husband; only anal agony. His modestly-sized tool remained flaccid as his emphatic embuggering continued.

The guard made several forceful grunts as he hilted his dick repeatedly inside the baker’s ass. With one final thrust, the buggering rapist gave the husband his first anal cream pie.

Fluttershy: I’ll willing to bet that Pinkie will never serve that in Sugarcube Corner.

 Thick ropes of the guard’s semen shot deep within the baker’s shit chute and coated his bloody rectal walls. As he lay there in utter agony with an ejaculating cock up his ass, the baker suddenly felt two streams of acrid liquid splashing against his face.

twow: Aww, look! They’re being nice enough to wash him off.

To add further insult to his anal injury, the two other guards started pissing on him. His mane was soaked with foul-smelling urine as the unicorn guard pulled out of his ass. A rich mixture of semen and blood began to flow from his ruined rectum and down his bloodied balls.

twow: (slams face into wall)

Fluttershy: I’m starting to think that the alliteration was just for you, twow.

While this was going on, his wife continued pleasuring herself to her husband’s humiliation. The baker lay on the ground as urine dripped from his mane. His pain-riddled body was too mortified to move.

twow: Yeah, it’s not that easy to move after rape. Trust me.

 His muscles twitched spastically as bloodied cum continued to ooze from his sphincter and formed a puddle on the floor. His wife couldn’t care less about her husband’s emasculating disgrace. She was too busy cleaning the three guards cocks in preparation for another round of adulterous sex.

Fluttershy: With soap and water, right?

twow: Flutters...

Fluttershy: I don’t want to be here anymore!

As Celestia and Luna watched the perversity unfolding before them, their loins began to moisten.

No_M: EEEEEEEEEECH. SO MUCH NOPE.

“Is their no venality to which these perverted plebs will not stoop?” Luna asked, impressed.

No_M: Wait. Pleb is actually a word? I thought it was just something Gavin Free made up. WHELP.

twow: The more you know.

“Let us hope not,” Celestia said, with a smile, as she took a sip of wine.

Even with all the royal guards in attendance, there were still more mares than stallions in the throne room. Several mares had to settle for masturbation while waiting their turn for the next available cock.

Fluttershy: I thought the princesses would have prepared for this.

The cacophonous din of the orgy drowned out the sounds of the royal court musicians. The two mares stopped playing their instruments and approached the princesses. The earth pony led the way for her blind friend, who was using her magic to levitate a cane in front of her, which she tapped on the ground.

twow: I wish a had a joke, but I got nothing. NOTHING AT ALL.

The two mares navigated around the writhing, canal bodies as they made their way to the royal throne.

twow: Couldn’t have been easy.

They stopped before Celestia, Luna and Blueblood.

“We also desire to titillate the prince with our whoredoms,” the blue-maned unicorn said, as she bowed respectfully in the direction where she assumed the royal sisters were sitting.

"But my princess, there aren't enough guards to go around,” the black-maned earth pony said, sadly, “We have no cocks to suck."

twow: Just wait your turn like everyone else.

Fluttershy:But waiting is hard.

When Celestia was told that there was an insufficient number of dicks in the castle, she uttered one of the most infamous lines ever spoken by royalty.

“IF MY SUBJECTS HATH NO COCKS TO SUCK,” Celestia shouted, “THEN LET THEM EAT CUNT!"

No_M: (emits high pitched whine and hides under a table)

Fluttershy: Can I join you?

twow: Geez, Nocturnal. I think you shattered my mirror.

This was all the motivation the two court musicians needed. The gray-coated earth pony and her blind friend threw themselves at Prince Blueblood’s hooves. Following Celestia’s counsel, the two mares proceeded to make beautiful music together.

No_M: I’m just gonna sing that song from ‘All Dogs Go To Heaven’. The song with the alligator. Will that make the pain stop?

twow: The only thing you need to think about is if you wanna deface that song by singing it now.

Fluttershy: Yes. It’s better than this.

The court musicians shoved their cunts into each other’s faces and messily began to eat each other out. They moaned and writhed on the floor as their bodies were racked with the pleasures of multiple orgasms.

Fluttershy: Do NOT WANT.

Using her magic, the blind unicorn levitated her walking stick and, after several failed attempts, managed to shove one end of the cane up the earth pony’s ass.

twow: (wincing) Fucking ow!

“Oh, yes!” the gray-coated mare cried blissfully, “More, you sightless sapphic sodomist! Diddle me like a fiddle!”

No_M: Why would you diddle a fiddle though?

twow: (facedesks)

Fluttershy: Sapphic is a word?

As the orgy continued in earnest, Celestia leaned over and whispered to Prince Blueblood.

“We wanted to thank you, nephew, for reminding us who we truly are,” Celestia said, “It’s been far too long since our last public orgy.” Luna leaned forward and nodded in agreement.

Fluttershy:I’m willing to bet that everypony was happy.

“No longer need we live in fear of the populace,” Luna said, as she calmly watched her subjects ejaculate all over each other, “A new era is dawning in Equestria. The moral majority must subjugate themselves to the whims of libertine nobility.”

twow: What?! Their plan was to STOP that! That’s the whole reason the rest of the story took place!!!!

No_M: Well, fuck it. I mean YOLO right?

Fluttershy: Young Only Like Onions?

No_M: CLOSE ENOUGH.

twow:I love this mare.

In spite of the high praise from his aunts, Blueblood was still feeling apathetic. The sights, sounds and smells of a massive orgy had little effect on the prince. Not even the violent rape conducted by the guards titilated him anymore.

No_M: Is someone going soft in their old age!?

twow: Nocturnal, let’s take that and RUN WITH IT.

No_M: ADVEEEEEEEEENTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUREEEEEEEEE!!!

As Blueblood watched his subjects debase themselves for his sake, he was struck with a sudden realization.

“If I choose the most perverted mare in the kingdom to be my bride, what would I have accomplished?,” Blueblood thought, “In order to truly exhibit the effects of my corrupting charisma, I need a mare who exudes kindness and meekness. If I am to be found worthy of my station, my bride-to-be should be the purest, most simpering milksop in all of Equestria.”

twow: Oh, that’s easy. Choose Twilight.

Fluttershy: Isn’t she dead?

twow: Oops. Choose Pinkie then.

Fluttershy: Isn’t she dead?

twow: Right. Choose...

Fluttershy:Are any of my friends alive?

twow: (agitated) I FUCKING DOUBT IT!

As he gazed upon the mares of his kingdom covered in sweat and cum, Blueblood realized that he would not find his special somepony here. An evil smile crossed Blueblood’s lips as he imagined breaking in his new bride.

Fluttershy: With bricks.

twow: It would be less painful.

“The spineless wretch will be putty in my hooves,” Blueblood thought, “Everypony will witness as I purge the dross of decorum and decency from her body with the refiner’s fire of libertine lust. From her ashes shall bloom a rose made of cruel thorns and carnal petals, whom I shall claim as my bride. Then there will be no doubt as to the power of my corrosive influence.”

Fluttershy: Should we be worried?

No_M: Knowing this story, YES.

Even though he was no closer to finding his bride, Blueblood wasn’t about to cancel the orgy, since Celestia and Luna seemed to be enjoying themselves so much. Blueblood sighed wistfully as he glanced out the window towards the Canterlot Castle gardens.

twow: “Maybe I could fuck the sky...”

It was then that he saw her. Blueblood was mesmerized by the beauty of the demur groundskeeper as she watered the flowers. She was a yellow-coated pegasus with a long pink-haired mane which partially-concealed her face from the world.

twow: ...Oh God.

Fluttershy: (scoots closer to Nocturnal)

No_M: (grabs a sawblade from back pocket) I’m going to smack Blueblood with this. In the face. And throat. Repeatedly.

Songbirds surrounded her and sang sweet melodies as she tended to the needs of her garden.

“No,” Blueblood whispered in disbelief, “Could it be? Is it she?”

Fluttershy:I think that you need one of the ponies in the throne room. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Without a word, Blueblood excused himself from the orgy. Celestia and Luna didn’t notice, as they were too engrossed in watching one particularly flexible pegasus simultaneously fit three cocks inside her gaping snatch.

Fluttershy: That CAN’T be possible.

twow: That mare is looser than a fucking wet piece of paper.

No_M: Wet bread.

After sprinting down the castle corridor, Blueblood took a moment to compose himself and catch his breath. Once he was calm and collected, he crept stealthily into the garden.

twow: He forgot a box to hide in.

While the raucous revelry continued within the castle walls, Blueblood spied on the groundskeeper from afar as she fed the fauna. The prince saw her as a blank canvas on which he would create his masterpiece.

twow: No.

“She’s as pure and clean as the wind-driven snow,” Blueblood thought, “And here I am with a full bladder and an urge to spell my name.”

twow: NO.

No_M: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?

Fluttershy: Maybe he wasn’t good at spelling?

The groundskeeper was blissfully unaware of the debauchery taking place within the castle. She also had no idea that Blueblood was sneaking up behind her.

“Hiding in plain sight,” Blueblood thought as he crept almost close enough to smell her scent.

twow: NO, YOU BASTARD!

Fluttershy: That horrible feeling when you can’t help someone...

Blueblood hid behind a tree as he watched the groundskeeper pause in front of a statue made in the prince’s honor. Larger than life, the sculpture of Blueblood was carved from perfect marble and captured his likeness exactly.

twow: If it shows anything less than Blueblood broken on the ground, it’s wrong.

Mute from birth, the groundskeeper was a recluse who never left the Canterlot Castle gardens. Aside from her animal friends, the groundskeeper found herself entirely alone. Her inability to speak had caused her to shy away from pony society.

Fluttershy: Aww, I like talking. Just not very loud.

twow: And it’s beautiful.

Supplies were delivered to her by the guards, so she never had any need to leave the safety of her garden. She spent her days in solitude; caring for the local flora and fauna.

To cope with the crippling loneliness of her hermitic lifestyle, she would imagine personalities for the various statues in the garden. They had become her family.\

twow: Seeing as how almost every other family is either dead or fucked up, you should feel blessed.

The awe-inspiring statue of Celestia, with her kind eyes and flowing mane, was like a mother figure to the mute mare. Whenever she was sad, or scared, the groundskeeper would offer a silent prayer to Celestia, while kneeling reverently before the statue, and it always made her feel better.

No_M: If only she knew what Celestia was REALLY like... (shudders)

Fluttershy: Why do I have the feeling that I’m going to?

Luna was like a gentle older sister in the groundskeeper’s eyes. Whenever a new litter of bunnies was born, or the first blossom of spring appeared, the groundskeeper would always visit the statue of Luna and happily converse with the princess inside her mind.

twow: She probably told her to stay away forever.

But the groundskeeper’s favorite statue was of Prince Blueblood. She had never met the actual prince face-to-face before. She knew he was much too important to ever bother with the likes of her. In spite of this humbling notion, she had developed an infatuation with the prince, based solely on her imagination.

No_M: NO.

Fluttershy: Okay, One, I don’t like Blueblood. And two, I have my special someone.

twow: Aww, thanks Flutters.

No_M:You two are adorable.

In her mind, Blueblood was a hopeless romantic, who loved her with every fiber of his being. She imagined that he was tall and strong, with a kind heart and a gentle laugh. He always knew what she wanted, without her having to say a word. Her version of Blueblood was a healthy blend of strength and sincerity; in other words, the perfect gentlecolt.

twow: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

Whenever she wanted to feel loved or needed, she would picture a romantic scenario between herself and the prince. In her dreams, she had a voice and could sing as well as any songbird; to the delight of her loving prince.

Fluttershy:I feel dirty from this.

twow: If that’s the case, I need to shower for the rest of my life.

No_M: I’m going to bathe in hot sauce to burn the story away.

twow: Want me to hook you up with brain bleach afterwards?

No_M: Absolutely. Prime’s stuff is shit. All it is is flat ginger ale.

twow: I never did give him any that I made...

It was spring, and the animals were pairing off into couples, as they are often want to do. The groundskeeper gazed longingly at a pair of birds nuzzling each other affectionately in the branch of a nearby tree.

Fluttershy: Aww, so cute.

twow: Three words that never have existed before in this story.

As she listened to their sweet songs, the mare’s heart began to swell with desire. More than anything, she longed for a special somepony to love her. She closed her eyes and wished with all her heart that the stallion of her dreams was real.

Fluttershy: He might not be a stallionbut still...

The snap of a twig caused the songbirds to scatter. The groundskeeper turned her head and made a silent gasp as she gazed upon the intimidating face of Prince Blueblood.

“I’m awfully sorry,” Blueblood said, with a cordial bow, “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

twow: And Fluttershy bitch-slapped him.

Fluttershy: Can I do that after the riff?

twow: He’s going to suffer. You can start it off if Nocturnal doesn’t get to him with that sawblade.

No_M: I also have a modified Kerrison Rongeur I stole from work that shoots bullets.

twow: You need to work with me in the lab. We could make some great inventions.

The groundskeeper was too stunned to move. The prince of her fantasies was standing before her very eyes. She didn’t know what to do. She thought to herself that this was too good to be a mere dream.

“Hello,” Blueblood said, “Who are you? What is your name, my fragile butterfly?”

twow: I sense some crazy hijinks.

The mare had a name, but she had no way to easily convey it. The silence caused Blueblood to narrow his eyes.

“When your prince addresses you, it is respectful to answer him,” Blueblood said, impatiently, “What is your name?”

No_M: “Fluttershy then opened her mouth and summoned Cthulhu. He ate Blueblood in a single bite.”

twow: That is the best thing I’ve ever heard.

When Blueblood repeated the question, he enunciated each word slowly and clearly, in case the mare was hard of hearing. The groundskeeper opened her mouth and tried to speak, but no words came out. She blushed and slowly took a step backward; her face becoming obscured by her long, pink mane. It suddenly dawned on Prince Blueblood what her issue was.

twow: She knows what you are.

Fluttershy: Please. I would have ran by now if that was the case.

“You’re a mute?” Blueblood asked, in disbelief. The mare looked away from him and closed her eyes, before shamefully nodding her head. Blueblood couldn’t help but notice a tear form and trail down her soft cheek.

twow: No, don’t cry!

Fluttershy: I’m right here.

twow: Right, sorry. This is that bad.

This revelation gave Blueblood a moment of pause. In spite of her imperfection, the prince realized that this beautiful creature would make an ideal mate. Without a voice, she was forced to communicate and convey all emotion through her actions. Blueblood knew that turning her from kindness and purity to coldness and cruelty would be his most impressive accomplishment to date.

No_M: Except it won’t be because it will never. fucking. happen.

twow: Not while I breathe. And you can quote me on that.

“When she's abandoned her moral center and cast aside her facade of propriety, then my real work begins,” Blueblood thought, “I shall corrupt this fragile thing and bring forth a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure. Once her training has left her capable of taking everything I dish out, she will be a prurient paragon who orgasms to the screams of her dying victims”

No_M: … I have no words.

Fluttershy: (glares at the TV)

twow: Flutters?

Fluttershy: I’m fine.

The groundskeeper was smitten by Prince Blueblood’s charm. After years of romantic daydreams, Prince Blueblood finally stood before her in the flesh; fulfilling all her fantasies. She was so in awe by his height and handsome appearance, that she didn’t notice the malevolent glint in his cold, cruel eyes.

twow:What? Please. Fluttershy’s mastered the art of looking into your soul.

No_M: USE THE STARE ON HIM.

Fluttershy: I don’t know if it works on creatures without a soul.

They walked together as Blueblood spoke to her of love and longing. Even without knowing about her secret desires, Blueblood managed to say all the right things and elicit positive responses from her.

Fluttershy: Seeing as how I can’t speak, I doubt it was hard.

It would’ve been far easier to simply drag the groundskeeper away and rape her into submission, but Blueblood knew better. This was his future bride. He wanted to toy with her emotions, through the careful art of seduction. He would gain her love willingly... at least at first.

twow: Why not the whole time...oh wait. That’s what an actual pony would do.

Blueblood walked with the groundskeeper all afternoon. He was so determined to take things slow, that they literally stopped to smell the roses.

No_M: Roses don’t smell like anything special. Mostly just pollen.

twow: I don’t know. I like them.

Fluttershy: They taste simply divine.

For a while, neither of them spoke. They merely enjoyed one another’s company.

“My, but you’re beautiful,” Blueblood said, which caused the groundskeeper to blush.

twow: Trust me, I know.

Fluttershy: I don’t need to blush now though.

 Blueblood noticed her timidity and smiled.

“It’s funny,” Blueblood said, as the groundskeeper listened to his every word with rapt attention, “I had so much to say and now I can’t think of anything.”

No_M: You lying fuck.

twow: That’s not unnatural.

The groundskeeper basked in the resplendent majesty of her prince. She didn’t even notice the scar on the side of Blueblood’s face. His warm smile seemed to radiate goodness and light. Blueblood could feel her stare beginning to affect him. He broke eye contact with her and chuckled to himself.

Fluttershy: Nocturnal, maybe I AM trying to use it on him.

No_M: Woah. That would imply he has at least a little bit of a soul though. That’s scary. I guess it’s kinda like seeing pictures of Hitler being a normal human, and then thinking of all the terrible shit he did.

“Would you mind not staring at me with those bewitching eyes,” Blueblood said, awkwardly, “I can’t concentrate when you look at me like that.”

The groundskeeper took a step backwards, as though she had done something wrong. Blueblood gave her a warm and reassuring smile.

twow: Yeah. Okay.

“Perhaps if you turned around, I could remember what I wanted to say,” Blueblood said, encouragingly.

Fluttershy: How would that-

twow: I wouldn’t ask questions like that.

The groundskeeper slowly turned until she was facing away from Prince Blueblood. He was now afforded an inviting view of her hindquarters. He grinned.

Fluttershy: Are you kidding me?!

“I was only kidding,” Blueblood said, after ogling her bottom for a moment, “It was just an excuse to admire you from every angle.”

twow: Would either of you report me if I murder him?

No_M: I’ll help you hide the body.

Fluttershy: And I’ll Stare everypony into submission that thinks either of you had a part in it.

twow: You two are too kind to me.

The groundskeeper turned back around to face Blueblood; her face now crimson. She looked slightly embarrassed.

“Please don’t think ill of me,” Blueblood said, earnestly, “It’s just that I’ve never met a mare as beautiful as you before.”

twow: Ya know, the first time I met Fluttershy, I didn’t trick her so I could stare at her ass.

Fluttershy: Let’s not forget the tentacle story we were reading.

twow: HATE.

The groundskeeper smiled as her face became partially obscured by her mane.

“It’s somehow fitting that you are unable to speak,” Blueblood said, “For no words could adequately describe your beauty.”

This was quickly becoming the happiest day of the groundskeeper’s life. Blueblood made her feel like a queen.

twow: No. NO. NO. NO!

“I must commend you for your tireless work in maintaining the royal gardens,” Blueblood said as he surveyed the expert landscaping, “My only regret in life is not making your acquaintance sooner.”

twow: WE WERE HAPPY THEN.

Fluttershy: I’m starting to be worried about him, Nocturnal.

No_M:I know what you mean...

Blueblood extended his hoof and brought her hoof to his lips. He kissed it, which caused the groundskeeper to blush and swoon. He led her to the two statues of his aunts, where Blueblood planned to propose.

twow: You JUST MET and you already wanna marry her?Fluttershy and I have been dating for months and I haven’t even thought of that yet!

No_M: This fucking story just got ‘Call Me Maybe’ stuck in my head. There is no song I despise more.

twow: I feel your pain.

“I know we’ve just met,” Blueblood said, in the most innocent-sounding voice he could muster, “but I find myself smitten by your beauty.”

The groundskeeper began to cry with joy as she stared lovingly into his eyes. Her heart began to flutter with excitement.

Fluttershy: Actually, I kind of feel like barfing.

No_M:I feel like murder.

twow: If I say what I feel like, you’ll put me in an asylum.

The sun was setting as Blueblood knelt down in front of the groundskeeper. She gave a silent gasp in anticipation of what was to come. This moment had played out in her mind numerous times, but she never would’ve dared to dream that it could actually happen.

“Will you grant me the esteemed honor of taking your hoof in marriage?” Blueblood asked, as he extended a waiting forehoof towards his future bride.

twow: Please don’t touch it.

Fluttershy: ...should we tie him up? Or cover his eyes?

No_M:Covering his eyes sounds like the less extreme measure for now.

Even if the groundskeeper possessed the ability to speak, she wouldn’t have been able to at this moment. Her emotions ran so high as to render her speechless.

No_M: That or she’s FUCKING MUTE.

twow: That’s easily forgotten.

With tears in her eyes, she nodded her head and touched Blueblood’s forehoof with her own.

twow: ...

Fluttershy: I thought this is where you would freak out.

No_M: I think he’s finally snapped. Not the violent snap yet, but snapped nonetheless.

Fluttershy: Why does that scare me so much?

No_M: The silent snap is always the scarier of the two.

“O happiest of nights!” Blueblood said, while leaping up and embracing his fiancé, “Come, my beloved. Let us away to the castle and prepare for our royal wedding. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna will want to meet you.”

Fluttershy: I’m sure they’ll welcome me with open arms.

No_M: I’d make a joke about open legs, but I think twow would kill me.

Fluttershy:I wouldn’t let him.

The thought of being welcomed into the royal family and granted an audience with the princesses was almost more joy than the simple groundskeeper could bear.

The animals chittered with excitement as they watched the happy couple make their way back towards the castle.

twow: .....

Fluttershy: I don’t think any of us can take much more of this.

As Blueblood’s bride blindly followed after him, her head was spinning with joy. After years of loneliness, she had finally found love and family.

twow: (enraged) RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Fluttershy: We need to stop. Now.

No_M: BREAK TIME. BREAK TIME NOW.

No_M: BLUEBLOOD YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

Blueblood:I take it you’re having fun?

Fluttershy: I’ve never hated anypony before. The fact that I hate you is a big step in my life.

twow: (holding his head in his hands) It hasn’t even started yet...

No_M: I don’t know why you sound so smug Blueblood. It’s clear we have friends that can fuck you up.

Blueblood: True. And my revenge is snapping hismind like a twig.

Pinkamena:Do you want me to break your leg? I will do it.

No_M: WAIT. What the FUCK are you doing to him!?

Blueblood: None of your friends explained the whole situation to you?

No_M: I’m going to snap your fucking neck. Answer. My. Question.

Blueblood: Well, if you must know, twow and another one of your friends were slandering me. So, I subjected him to this story.

Fluttershy: Wait. You’ve been trying to snap my boyfriend’s mind because he made fun of you?!

Blueblood: That’s one way of putting it.

No_M: I’m going to break your ribs one by one. Then I’m going to throw them out the back of a moving vehicle while you watch.

Blueblood: Really now. What’s with all of the anger?

Fluttershy: What do you THINK?

No_M: Blueblood, you are a grade-A asshole, and I’m going to hurt you for this. No one fucks with my friends.

twow: ...okay. I think I’m okay.

Fluttershy: Are you?

twow: No, but maybe if I keep saying that I am, then I’ll forget about the mental shredding.

Fluttershy: ...I don’t know what to do.

twow: Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fi-

Fluttershy: Stop saying that! You aren’t fine!

No_M: Twow, I don’t know how to get it through your thick skull that admitting you’re not okay is fine, a good thing even. But it is.

twow: But I have to be fine. I’m supposed to be able to handle this shit.

Fluttershy: You’ve gone through nine chapters. You have the right to say that you aren’t okay.

twow: But if I’m not, then he’s beaten me.

No_M: Twow, this wasn’t a fair fight. Never once was this ever fair.

twow: Ya think so?

No_M: Absolutely. Blueblood’s a lying, cheating bastard who fights dirty. And he knows it, and takes pride in it. You getting this far is incredibly impressive when the odds were stacked so high against you.

Fluttershy: Exactly. And I want you to know that I’m not the only one that’s proud of you.

twow: (sighs) Thank you both. Really.

Fluttershy: (hugs twow)

No_M: (hugs Fluttershy and twow)

twow: They always told me to surround myself with friends.

Fluttershy: Of course, you goofball.

Pinkamena: I hate to do this, but are you ready for the next part?

Fluttershy: I guess. Nocturnal?

No_M: Let’s do this.

twow: I’m just going to apologize in advance for freaking out. We all know it’s gonna happen.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

“True happiness lies in the senses, and virtue gratifies none of them.”

twow: Dude, I have no idea what you were trying to get across.

― Marquis de Sade

Night had fallen on Canterlot Castle and the orgy had finally concluded. By this point, the collective balls of all the guards had been thoroughly drained. For the last half hour, all of them had been jizzing dust. Most participants were struggling to find the strength to stand on their weakened and shaky limbs.

No_M: I hope they all die from over-excessive jizzing.

twow: We can jizz dust? Ew.

The floor of the throne room was covered with a layer of various bodily excretions. Semen, blood, shit, piss and vomit all commingled into a carpet of carnal crud. At the conclusion of the orgy, all participants, whether raped or consenting, were splattered with these fluids.

Fluttershy: I’m willing to bet that the servants are cursing the princesses names.

Some of the more shameless mares were still rolling around in their own filth. They were curious as to where the prince had disappeared to and also desired to know if he was pleased by their fornications.

“I am willing to continue debasing myself until the prince chooses me for his bride,” the baker’s wife said, as a deluge of cum and wet shit dripped from her flabby frame.

Fluttershy: (gags)

twow: (hands her bucket) You know the drill. Don’t stick your head all the way in there.

Celestia was pleased by the perversity of her peons.

No_M: I think I understand your aversion to alliterations twow.

twow: It hurts, doesn’t it?

“Our faithful subjects,” Celestia said, wiping a joyful tear from her eye, “While we cannot speak for our nephew, we can assure thee that thy carnal display hath greatly pleased us. Rest assured that there is indeed a place for all of thee in the castle.”

twow: I don’t think the castle is even that big.

Fluttershy:They’ll stick them somewhere.

Some of the mares looked at each other, confused.

“So, do all of us get to marry the prince and live extravagant lives of luxury and excess?” the gray-coated musician asked. Celestia and Luna smiled at her naivety.

“Don’t be silly,” Luna said, shaking her head, “You will all simply by prisoners in our rape dungeon.”

Fluttershy: (buries head in twow’s chest) Now I feel awful.

No_M: At least she’s honest? I dunno. The story is making this difficult.

twow: I guess I can give her that.

Without a moment’s hesitation, the royal guards stood at attention. In spite of their physical exhaustion, the guards led all orgy participants to the castle dungeons. The mares and fillies began to sob and begged the princesses to release them.

twow: It’s like the story is trying to fool us into thinking that the princesses have hearts.

“I want my mama!” the lisping filly said with a sob. She had a black eye as a result of not sucking a guard’s cock when it was presented to her. Her nose was bleeding and her vagina was badly bruised. The sticky seed of six different stallions oozed from her raw slit and left a trail as she limped towards the dungeon.

twow: I know that mine wasn’t that severe, and that’s why I’m going to have a moment of silence for her.

For some of the raped mares, their bodies were too battered and broken to move on their own. Those who were still conscious wept as their beaten and violated bodies were levitated by the unicorn guards’ magic.

No_M: To be honest, I was half expecting them to be beaten for not walking on their own.

twow: You’re learning.

All the occupants of the rape dungeon would be nourished and restored to health. Once their bodies had recovered, they would be raped repeatedly by the guards and libertine nobility for the rest of their miserable lives.

Fluttershy: WHY?

twow: I’ll get back to you after I come up with an answer that makes sense.

Once the guards had left with their prisoners, Celestia and Luna found themselves alone in the throne room.

“Well, that certainly was enjoyable,” Celestia said, “Although we can’t help but wonder where our nephew ran off to. He missed one exquisite orgy.”

twow: That’s alright. He was doing something much worse.

“His loss,” Luna said, “The youth of today have no respect for classic forms of entertainment.”

“Indeed,” Celestia said, “Shall we retire to our bedchambers?”

“We thought you would never ask,” Luna said.

No_M: And they all fucked. The end.

Fluttershy: Really?!

twow: How I wish.

As Blueblood led his bride through the castle, he was cautious to avoid the throne room. He knew the state of disrepair it would be in following the orgy, and wanted to make a good first impression.

Fluttershy: Does that even matter considering that I’ll still hate him?

twow: You’re learning as well.

Instead of the throne room, the prince headed for Celestia and Luna’s bedroom. He would waste no more time on his quest for immortality. Now that he had his future bride, they would be wed tonight.

twow: He wastes no time.

No_M: Haste makes waste.

Blueblood burst into his aunts’ room without knocking. Luna was sitting on a plush pillow with her hind legs wrapped around Celestia’s neck. Luna cooed with delight as Celestia lapped at the fluids gushing from her sister’s pussy. Celestia had just begun nibbling on Luna’s bawdy bitch button,

twow: (facewalls)

Fluttershy: ...now I dislike alliterations.

No_M: IT’S CALLED A VAGINA. CALL IT A VAGINA.

when Blueblood stormed into the room.

Celestia was so surprised by the interruption that she forcibly bit down on her sister’s clitoris,

twow: I don’t know how that would feel, so I’m just going to say ouch and let you two give the details.

No_M: I wouldn’t know how that feels. I’d never in a million years let anyone’s head near there.

twow: ...if I make that joke, you and another one of my friends will hurt me.

which caused Luna to shriek in pain and quickly cover her privates with her forehooves.

“By Cerberus’ nine balls!” Luna shouted, painfully.

No_M: I don’t even wanna know why Luna’s under the impression that Cerberus has three sets of genitals. Or why each set would have three balls.

twow: Hmm. You were by him, Flutters. Does he have that many? (smacked by Fluttershy)

Celestia raised her head and looked at her nephew, slightly annoyed. Her lips were still dripping with her sister’s juices. Luna continued screaming obscenities as she applied pressure to her swollen pleasure nub.

twow: Waiting for Nocturnal’s rage in 3...2...1...

No_M: GOOOOOOOD. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Fluttershy: Good call.

Blueblood’s bride stared horrified by what she saw. Celestia and Luna, whom she loved and revered like Goddesses, were engaged in an incestuous relationship. She was too stunned to move. When Celestia looked in her direction, the bride retreated a half step and hid her face behind her massive mane.

twow: (rubs Fluttershy’s mane) I wouldn’t call it massive, per se.

Fluttershy: It’s a nice length.

“Blueblood, thou knowest better than to interrupt us when we are sapphically-servicing our sister,” Celestia said, as she glared angrily at her nephew, “If you’re wishing to join us, you’ll simply have to wait your turn.”

Fluttershy: Celestia uses the Royal Canterlot Speech?

twow: Blueblood fucks his aunts? EWWWWWW.

It was only then that Celestia noticed the quivering mare standing beside Prince Blueblood.

“Why, she’s shaking like a leaf,” Celestia said, as her eyes narrowed, “Nephew, who is this?”

“My future bride,” Blueblood said with a satisfied smile, “We can be wed tonight, with your help.”

twow: “But it doesn’t need to happen right now.”

Celestia’s expression immediately changed from stern disapproval to immense joy.

“Well, despoil our derriere with a denticulated dildo!”

No_M: And twow’s rage in 3... 2...

twow: i will cut you with a rusty spoon.

Fluttershy: Now it’s just too easy to call it.

Celestia said, surprised, “Our nephew has finally chosen himself a wife.”

Celestia scrutinized Fluttershy, as though silently passing judgment regarding her worthiness to marry Blueblood.

twow: What do you mean, “her worthiness?” Hell, I don’t even deserve her!

Fluttershy: (squeezes twow) Don’t say that. I chose you for a reason.

No_M: D’awww.

Luna had finally recovered from her injury and walked sullenly over to the groundskeeper to inspect her.

“Well, she’s not much to look at, is she?” Luna said, dismissively, “Doest thou genuinely believe this groveling guttersnipe can endure the rigors of a libertine lifestyle? We wager she shan’t last the night.”

twow: So do I.That’s why she shouldn’t BE here!

“What is thy name, child?” Celestia asked, sweetly.

The groundskeeper stood there trembling. She didn’t acknowledge Celestia’s question. All she could think about was her garden and animals. She would’ve tried to run, but she was too afraid to move. Even if she had attempted an escape, the groundskeeper knew she was no match for ancient alicorn magic. The libertines would do as they pleased with her.

twow: Should I say the sentence now, or later?

Fluttershy: I don’t think so yet.

“She is a mute,” Blueblood said, as he placed a forehoof on her back and pulled her close, “Her only means of expression is through gesture.” Celestia and Luna exchanged doubtful looks.

“That simply won’t do,” Luna said, as an evil smile graced her lips, “A proper bride must have a proper voice.”

twow: Nocturnal, Fluttershy, place your bets. Who thinks they’re gonna go the easy way and just give her a voice, or do something stupid as FUCK.

No_M: It’s not even a contest. STUPID AS FUCK.

Fluttershy: Can I just have the bits I won now?

Luna used her magic and caused a small, square jewelry box to materialize. Without saying a word, Luna levitated the box over to Blueblood’s bride. Compelled by curiosity, the groundskeeper opened her eyes and forced herself to look inside the box as it was opened.

Fluttershy: It was a magical necklace.

The jewelry case contained a small silver bell.

Fluttershy: ...I don’t get it.

twow: I have a idea and you two might have to keep me from shooting the TV if I’m right.

 When Blueblood used his magic to levitate it out of the box, it made a jingling sound. The bride noticed that the bell was attached to a two-inch long chain. At the far end of the chain was a metal ring.

“This is the ‘Bell of Paradise,’” Luna said, as Blueblood levitated it before his bride, “Now, be an obedient bride and stick out your tongue.”

twow: But that’s rude!

Fluttershy: (playfully sticks out her tongue)

The groundskeeper grew increasingly nervous. She closed her eyes and kept her mouth shut. Celestia used her magical aura to force the bride’s mouth open and made her tongue stick out. As Blueblood brought the bell closer, his bride attempted to close her mouth, but her tongue was kept still by Celestia’s magic.

Fluttershy: (shuts her mouth and covers her mouth)

twow: Yeah, thought you might do that.

The groundskeeper’s eyes darted about the ornate bedroom. She hoped in vain for somepony to save her, but no help came. With her head immobilized by magic, she began to cry salty tears.

twow: As opposed to...sweet tears?

No_M: Call me weird, but I like the taste of my tears.

Blueblood brought the small, metal ring to the tip of her tongue and held it there for a moment. He could see the fear in her eyes and relished in her misery. The groundskeeper pleaded with her eyes to be released, but it was to no avail.

Fluttershy: I missed the part where my eyes were held.

twow: Bronystories might have missed a spot check.

 She gasped as the curved metal spike pierced her tongue. The ring held secure in her flesh and caused her eyes to grow wide with shock. She could taste her own blood. There were no attempts to spare her any pain. Blueblood seemed intent to cause his bride as much discomfort as possible.

No_M: Can we change Blueblood’s name to ‘Dickhead’?

twow: Fallen’s changed it a few times. I’m sure I’ll be okay with this one.

When the groundskeeper was allowed to close her mouth, the small silver chain hung out of her lips. The bell of paradise dangled just below her chin and jingled whenever she moved her head. The bride wept silently from the pain and humiliation of her fresh piercing.

Fluttershy: I...feel kinda sad for story-me.

twow: (hugs Fluttershy) We all do.

As she shook from sorrow, the bell jingled happily; mocking her pain.

“Now my bride has a proper voice,” Blueblood said, proudly, “Wherever she goes, all shall hear her approach.”

No_M: (pulls out, and cocks the rongeur-gun)

twow: As much as I want to, not yet.

As she sat in utter misery, the groundskeeper could feel her fresh piercing clinking as the ring and tiny chain rubbed against her teeth. She ran her tongue along the roof of her mouth, but stopped when it caused her further discomfort. She retracted her tongue to the center of her mouth, so as to keep the metal ring from pressing against her teeth. This caused more links of the chain to slide past her lips. Her teeth bit down on the small chain in frustration.

twow: I know that I’ve said you look cute frustrated, but not like this.

The bride felt herself shrink before the stony gaze of Celestia, who circled the groundskeeper and stopped when she was right behind her.

“Nephew, hold your bride down,” Celestia said, “We wish to inspect her in preparation for your consummation.”

twow: But, she’s perfect.

Fluttershy: Now you’re just being biased.

twow: But I’m not wrong.

Before the groundskeeper could react, Blueblood put a forehoof behind her head and pressed her face into his lap. The odor of Blueblood’s unwashed genitals caused her to retch. Her nose was pressed against his sweaty sack. Any other mare would’ve taken advantage of her position and enacted revenge by biting down hard on Blueblood’s balls.

No_M: Curse you Fluttershy for being so kind. No, I can’t actually curse you. That’d be too mean.

Fluttershy: It’s okay.

twow: But GOD I wish you had done it.

The prince knew that the groundskeeper posed no threat to him. He could sense that she was so timid and gentle, that she wouldn’t fight back.

No_M: I dunno. Fluttershy, you were pretty good about not being a pushover when you didn’t want to see the Dragon Migration that one time.

Fluttershy: Which makes this worse. I would try to fight!

 He played with her pink mane and stroked it with his forehooves.

“You may be a doormat now,” Blueblood thought, “but after your training, other ponies shall tremble beneath your indomitable will. You shall be my magnum opus.”

twow: She’s not a doormat!

Fluttershy: Something tells me we should be glad that’s the only thing that made him mad right there.

The bride made a silent gasp as she felt Celestia’s hot breath on her rear. Celestia sniffed lustfully at the groundskeeper’s ass. The bride cringed as she felt Celestia’s warm, wet tongue licking the fear-induced sweat from her yellow butt cheeks.

Fluttershy: (looks at twow and nods)

twow: (sighing) Nocturnal, Fluttershy. And so it begins.

Sticking her tongue into the groove, Celestia began to press her tongue against the bride’s sphincter. After several failed attempts to gain entrance, Celestia lifted up her head; thoroughly impressed.

“By Discord’s bifurcated beaver basher!”

No_M: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?

twow: I’m starting to think that BS just jammed words together that started with the same fucking letter!

Celestia exclaimed, “Her asshole is so tight, we’d wager that her excrement must be no bigger than a speck of dust!”

“Anal virginity is a condition which our nephew shall soon relieve her of,” Luna said, sinisterly, “The satin sheets of their honeymoon suite shall surely run red from her rectal reaming.”

twow: *WHAM*

Fluttershy: I’d actually not like to have sex like that, and you need to stop slamming your head into the wall.

“Indeed,” Celestia said, as she stared lustfully at the groundskeeper’s obstinate orifice, “Since her ass has been inspected and proven virginal, we must certify it with the seal of sodomy!”

Luna was already prepared and trotted over to Celestia while levitating a large red candle.

No_M: I don’t even wanna fucking know what they’re gonna do with that candle. Unfortunately, I’m sure the story’s gonna tell us anyway.

Even though Blueblood was holding her head down, the bride managed to catch a glimpse of the large candle and grew fearful as to what the princesses planned to do with that. Luna smiled as she made eye contact with the petrified pegasus.

twow: “Don’t worry, little one. We’re just going to light you up!”

No_M: (starts singing Fall Out Boy’s ‘My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark’)

Fluttershy: You and twow should sing together sometime.

“Fear not,” Luna said, “We have no intentions of sodomizing you with this candle. That pleasure shall be reserved for your future husband.” Luna’s words did nothing to alleviate the bride’s fears.

Fluttershy: AS THEY SHOULDN’T.

Celestia used her magical aura to take the lit candle from her sister. She levitated the candle over the groundskeeper’s ass. She could feel the uncomfortable warmth dangerously close to her tail.

“The seal of sodomy is an indication that you have saved your first embuggering for your husband,” Celestia said, “Now hold still and try not to wiggle.”

Fluttershy: Because THAT will be easy.

twow: Just go to your happy place.

Taking careful aim, Celestia allowed the hot candle wax to drip onto the bride’s exposed rear entrance. Her body shook as the wax burned her anus. She opened her mouth and silently screamed in pain. Her agony did not go unnoticed by her husband. The groundskeeper could feel Blueblood’s stallionhood sliding out of its sheath. It felt warm pressed against the side of her face.

Fluttershy: (rubbing her face) EW! EW! EWWWWWWWWW!

Watching his bride’s anal passage being sealed with hot wax caused sticky precum to drip from Blueblood’s hardening shaft. He could feel her anguished tears land softly upon his ballsack.

twow: “BURN. BURN TO ASHES!”

No_M: “THEN BURN THE ASHES!”

Celestia adjusted the bride’s bottom so that it was sticking straight up in the air. A small puddle of hot melted wax covered her sphincter.

No_M: I’m sure it’s someone’sfetish.

Fluttershy: Maybe the author’s?

No_M: It would not surprise me.

“Quickly,” Celestia said to her nephew, “before the wax fully congeals, monogram the seal of sodomy and claim her ass for yourself.”

Blueblood glanced down at the horseshoe on his right forehoof. At the toe of the horseshoe, there was a small, ornately-designed backwards letter “B.” Blueblood used this hoof to seal letters or sign official documents.

twow: He’s going to BRAND her?!

Following his aunt’s commands, Blueblood stood and trotted behind his bride. The red wax was just beginning to harden. Blueblood placed his right forehoof in between his bride’s butt cheeks and pressed the toe of his horseshoe into the wax.

Fluttershy: (shifts in her seat)

twow: Relax. You know I wouldn’t let this happen.

Fluttershy: That doesn’t stop me from imagining it!

When Blueblood pulled his hoof back, the wax seal over his bride’s anus was emblazoned with a bold letter “B;” signifying to all the world that her ass was his.

twow: Blueblood, I want you to remember this day. Emblazon it in your memory.

Blueblood: Why?

twow: Because I’m bringing it up when I beat the shit out of you.

The groundskeeper covered her face with her hooves and wept bitterly. She just wanted to awaken from this hellish nightmare and return to the simple pleasures of her garden. She felt as though she was being punished for desiring a life beyond her lowly station of groundskeeper.

Fluttershy: And of course I have to suffer for existing.

twow: This story hates everypony.

She deeply regretted every moment she had spent longing for the intimate caress of Prince Blueblood. She realized too late that the kind and romantic stallion of her dreams was the antithesis of reality.

No_M: I... I don’t have anything to say other than I hate this story.

Fluttershy: I share that.

twow: (agitated) I can’t take much more. Already.

“Why so despondent, my little rosebud?” Blueblood said, in mock innocence, “Do you fear damnation?”

The groundskeeper shut her eyes and gave a defeated nod.

Fluttershy: Not much I can really do there.

“Weep not, for you are not damned,” Blueblood said to his bride, “Damnation is simply a lack of progression. All those who impose moral restraints are damning themselves. They stifle their lusts and deny themselves pleasure.

twow: They have pleasure. They just save it for the right times and it’s not FUCKED UP!

Fluttershy: Your logic implies that twow and I should drop waiting and just start rutting each other right now!

All: ...

twow: Nocturnal, I am so sorry.

No_M: I’ve heard worse. I’m dating Prime after all.

twow: True.

Sex is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the others. Only those who fully-embrace libertine ideals can truly find salvation.”

twow: Refer to comment that Fluttershy just said.

The groundskeeper would’ve rather been tortured some more than listen to Blueblood speak. His once sweet words were poison to her now. His sincerity and calm demeanor were the most unsettling aspects of this scenario.

No_M: And thus we learn, Fluttershy is the only sane pony in this entire story. The End.

twow: Well, we can’t forget the other Elements that were brutally murdered.

No_M: Oh, yeah. Them too. ‘Shy’s the only sane one left.

Fluttershy: At this rate, I’m fearing that won’t last long.

As Blueblood stared at his quivering bride, Celestia excused herself to gather the next part of the wedding ceremony. Luna approached the bride and lifted her head; forcing her to stand. The bell of paradise jingled as she stood there trembling before Luna.

twow: Bell of paradise, my ass!

The wax had hardened around her anus and clung stubbornly to the groove between her cheeks.

The groundskeeper’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. Luna derived great pleasure in lapping up the tears of her victims.

twow: Well Nocturnal, I guess you and Luna share some of the same activities.

No_M: At least I keep tear-eating to my own tears. Eating others’ tears is just... EECH.

twow: So you wouldn’t eat Fallen’s?

No_M: Probably not.

Fluttershy: I noted that you said “probably.”

twow: There’s hope!

 She leaned in and ran her tongue along the side of the bride’s face.

The groundskeeper stood there, shivering with fear and self-loathing. Her sensitive tongue throbbed due to her fresh piercing and her asshole stung from the hot wax. She pressed her wings tightly against her sides. She wished she could shrink herself invisible.

Fluttershy: Remember when I said I wanted to be a tree? That sounds even better right now.

 She wrestled with her own fears as she tried desperately to summon what little courage she possessed and use it to concoct a plan of escape, but her captors had other plans in mind.

“You look lovely,” Luna said, as she fawned over the weeping bride.

“Exquisite,” Celestia added as she returned from her momentary absence.

twow: Not that I would ever call her ugly, but I’m sure she’s looked better.

Fluttershy: Like...before this all happened.

Princess Celestia levitated a small tray over to the bride. Two rings rested upon it. One was too large to fit around a unicorn’s horn, while the other ring was a small piercing.

“Now is the time to exchange wedding rings,” Celestia said, to the bride, “Open your mouth and receive your husband’s ring, so that you may present it to him.”

twow: I’m sure she remembered what happened the LAST time she opened her mouth.

The bride grit her teeth shut, which caused her to bite down on the silver chain protruding from her lips. In the end, her efforts were no match for ancient alicorn magic.

“You must open your mouth wide, or else it will not fit,” Luna said, encouragingly.

Fluttershy: You know I’m not gonna do it. Why don’t you just do it from the beginning?

twow: Because that would be implying these two weren’t sadistic.

No_M:I can hope, can’t I?

twow: Of course. And then the story will rip that away from you.

Using her magic, Celestia forced the groundskeeper’s trembling maw open. The large ring was then inserted passed her lips.

The bride tried to bite down, but the gold ring forced her mouth to remain open in an obscene ‘O’ shape.

No_M: FUCKING NOOOOPE. Totally don’t want this to go where I think it’s gonna go.

Fluttershy: (clings to Nocturnal)

twow: Yeah...it might be best for her to be over there. Just...hug her or something.

The ring forced the silver chain in her mouth to press against the inside of her bottom lip, which caused additional discomfort.

The destined location of her husband’s ring became all too apparent when his hard cock came into view.

twow: They aren’t married yet.

When fully aroused, Blueblood’s erect stallionhood was three times longer than in its flaccid state. His musk was overwhelming. Blueblood’s bride was hypnotized by his sweaty, musculocavernous member.

twow: What, did you eat a dictionary before you wrote this?!

Thick veins pumped blood into the prince’s throbbing choad

No_M: HOW IS THAT EVEN A WORD!?

as a bead of precum glistened from the tip.

“He is ready,” Celestia said, as she whispered into the bride’s ear, “Render unto your husband his ring.”

Fluttershy: Only if I can choke him with it.

The groundskeeper’s heart beat fast in her chest. She was powerless to resist Blueblood as he put his forehooves around her head and slowly forced his shaft into her mouth.

Fluttershy: Please, no! NO!DO NOT WANT!

In spite of her growing desire to bite down, the cock ring prevented her from doing so. She felt his warm knob

No_M: Every time Gavin says ‘knob’ in a video now... MOTHERFUCKER.

slide pass the ring and across her tongue. She took the first half of Blueblood’s cock, while trying her best not to gag.

twow: All of my jokes, just gone.

Blueblood enjoyed the warm wetness of her throat. He could feel the silver piercing in her tongue rubbing against the underside of his shaft. Tugging and jostling her fresh tongue ring caused the groundskeeper severe pain.

Fluttershy: (jams head into Nocturnal’s side) I can’t take this!

No_M: (pets Fluttershy’s head) Shhhhh. Only bunnies now.

twow: ...bunnies?

No_M: Bunnies always make me feel better. Bunnies and cats.

The room was filled with loud slurping and sucking sounds as Blueblood continued pistoning his bride’s throat. The bell of paradise jingled erratically from the frantic pace.

twow: It’s like he’s running a marathon.

The groundskeeper had never been intimate with another pony before, although she hardly considered what she was being forced to do as intimate; especially with Blueblood’s aunts watching and critiquing her performance.

twow: How do you critique someone who has no control over what she’s doing?

Fluttershy: He’s in control! All I can do is take it.They should be critiquing HIM.

She didn’t know how to process the myriad conflicting emotions occurring within her body.

“Hurry up and take him to the root already,” Luna said, impatiently, “We’ll be here all night at the rate you’re going.”

As much as the groundskeeper hated to admit it, Prince Blueblood’s musk was making her wet. A small pearl of mare lube poked out from within her tiny slit. Her undesired arousal did not go unnoticed by the royal sisters.

All: Because of COURSE.

“It would seem you are already becoming wet,” Celestia remarked, “Does the mere act of performing fellatio excite you so?”

“Considering her inability to speak, she’s probably grateful to finally have something useful to do with her mouth,” Luna said, coldly.

twow: Hey Luna. Fuck you.

The bride’s eyes went wide as she she gagged. Drool dripped down her chin. Even though she was ashamed to be sucking Blueblood’s cock, she was unable to conceal her arousal. Her clit began to swell as Blueblood slid his stallionhood further down her spit-slickened throat.

twow: Wait, her clit SWELLED? Does that even happen?!

“Her leaking desire is a sign of how desperate she is for your cock, nephew,” Celestia said, as she stared, transfixed, at the groundskeeper’s swollen clitoris, “Her whorish libedo will make attaching her ring all the easier.”

No_M: NO. I did not see that coming. I should’ve, but I didn’t and just NO.

twow: I guess wedding rings are out of date.

Fluttershy: That was awful.

twow: I’m TRYING.

A thick band of flesh formed halfway down the length of Blueblood’s shaft, which was known as a phimotic ring. The groundskeeper paused, as the increased thickness was having difficulties passing through the gold ring.

Fluttershy: That’s why rings normally go on the...horn? I don’t know.

twow: Fingers for us humans.

 Blueblood winced as he forced the second half of his shaft passed the gold ring and down his bride’s gullet. She sputtered and choked as her throat swelled from the humongous horsecock tickling her tonsils.

twow: Sweetheart, apparently you have a really small throat.

Fluttershy: Why do you say that?

twow: Because you can’t take one and a half inches.

The bell of paradise danced about while making happy jingling sounds.

The groundskeeper’s body convulsed from lack of oxygen. Her lungs cried out for air as she sputtered and twitched. Blueblood reveled in the obscene sounds of his bride choking on his choad.

twow: See, stories like this turn me OFF to sex.

“Almost there...” Blueblood said, as he forced her lips down to the root of his member.

The groundskeeper’s vision had become hazy. For a moment, she thought she would pass out, but she was not so lucky. She felt her nose brush against Blueblood’s crotch. The schlong down her throat meant that breathing wasn’t an option at the moment.

No_M: Gag and throw up on his dick!

twow: He’d probably just stick it back in.

Her face started to change color from lack of oxygen.

Just before she fainted, Blueblood removed his cock from her mouth. A saliva-soaked gold ring fit snuggly around the root of his shaft. Celestia used magic to tighten the ring, which would allow him to maintain an erection for hours.

Fluttershy: And when it wore off, his penis would fall off.

twow: :D

Blueblood’s bride slumped to the floor and took deep breaths. The bell of paradise kept jingling as she drooled a mix of her own saliva and the prince’s precum onto the ground. She coughed as her body shook in revulsion.

twow: Worst. Smoothie. Ever.

The groundskeeper closed her eyes and wallowed in sorrow and self-pity. She was ashamed for allowing herself to become aroused from performing such an obscene act. She longed for love; not unbridled lust. The royal sisters leaned in close to inspect the groundskeeper’s dripping yellow pussy.

Fluttershy: (shifts in chair) Why does this make me feel unclean?

twow: Try not to think about it.

“You must really glean pleasure from abusing your body,” Luna said, “Admit it. Thou art a masochist who enjoys being punished.”

The bride began to cry and vehemently shook her head, which caused the bell to jingle.

“Thy head says no, but thy lower lubricated lips betray thee,” Celestia said, “Your cunt cries out to be deflowered.”

No_M: Ugh. The way Celestia talks in this story just... BOTHERS me.I mean, Luna’s almost as bad, but it seems like Celestia is ten times worse.

twow: How so? Besides the obvious.

No_M: Mostly just the obvious. I don’t mind the old English that much. But “lower lubricated lips” and“Your cunt cries out to be deflowered”? Eech.

Fluttershy: I think that first part was allitera-

twow: Right. (facedesks)

“All in good time,” Blueblood said, menacingly, “First, I must present her with my ring.”

Fluttershy: I thought he DID.

The groundskeeper was quivering in a puddle of her own drool as Blueblood used his magic to unceremoniously flip her onto her back. The bride’s legs were splayed, revealing her moist slit and swollen clit. Blueblood paused for a moment to admire the beauty of his virgin bride.

twow: She’s MINE.

Fluttershy: You care so much.

twow: Really? If anyone hurt you, Nocturnal would do worse.

“The most beautiful rosebud in the Canterlot garden is mine for the plucking,” Blueblood said, poetically.

As he brought the clit ring nearer to her privates, the groundskeeer squirmed and tried to run,

twow: The fuck is a “groundskeeer?”

but Celestia and Luna silently glided over to her like windigos and held her down.

Luna played with the bride’s bell of paradise by patting it around with her forehoof; like a cat playing with a mouse.

No_M: Bitch please. My cats rip open their prey and mutilate it. They destroyed their chirpy mouse toys within 24 hours of us adopting them. And one of them eats fucking spiders. And these are the most tame, non-threatening cats ever.

Fluttershy: We should dress Blueblood up in a mouse suit.

twow: And add spider legs.

No_M: Bathe him in catnip and it’s almost guaranteed that the kittens’ll be all over him.

The groundskeeper tried in vain to close her legs, but Celestia and Luna held them open; giving Blueblood a clear view of his prize.

“Stop fidgeting,” Blueblood scolded, “Exchanging rings requires precision.”

twow: “Don’t make me have to go deeper!”

The bride was sobbing uncontrollably as Blueblood stared at his bride’s nethers. He saw her pink tail pressed against the ground, like a carpet which had been rolled out for him. Above that that, was her red wax seal of sodomy. Above that, was her exposed clitoris and dripping slit.

twow: It’s quite the effort for a story to make me NOT want to picture that on my girlfriend.

Parting her vaginal veil, Blueblood peered inside and inspected her warm, sticky folds. His heart skipped a beat as he was greeted with a most welcome surprize.

“A virgin!” Blueblood said, eagerly, “My bride has saved herself for her prince.”

twow: SHIT.

Fluttershy: To be fair, I am one...

twow: I’m not saying that’s bad,but that just leads into more pain for you.

Blueblood had merely presumed that she was a virgin before, but this confirmed it. The mare’s hymen was meticulously preserved. A thin membrane ring lined the inner walls of her vagina; a symbol of her chastity.

“Your body is the church where Nature asks to be reverenced,” Blueblood said as he stared into his bride’s fearful eyes, “Now is the time for worship services.”

twow: Either of you two confused yet?

Fluttershy: Yes.

No_M: Sometimes, the kittens curl up on soft pieces of cloth and it’s super adorable.

twow: Are you even here anymore?

No_M: In body, yes. In mind... eh, not so much. I get like this sometimes. Expect screaming about potatoes and grapes later.

twow: I’ll make a note of it.

Placing his tongue on her taint, Blueblood licked the entire length of her marehood.

twow: THAT WORD.

He suckled and nipped at her clitoris, which caused his bride to squirm uncomfortably. Blueblood buried his snout into her crotch as his tongue slurped and flicked at her quivering mound.

The groundskeeper’s clit was red and swollen with unwanted arousal. Prince Blueblood levitated a golden ring over to her pleasure nub. She would soon be his; both body and soul. Partner. Lover. For all eternity.

Fluttershy: (presses into twow’s side)

twow: It’s alright. We’re right here.

“I shall consume your soul and leave you empty inside,” Blueblood said as he stared into the eyes of his petrified bride, “You’ll feel naught but emptiness without my cock inside you. No other earthly pleasure will compare with your desire for fornication. I shall transform you from a contemptible virgin into a princess of putrescence.”

twow: Not if she kills you first.

Taking careful aim, Blueblood positioned the small ring next to her clit. The bride was too exhausted from her futile struggling to move. She had nearly choked to death while applying Blueblood’s cock ring and was finding her resolve quickly draining.

“With this ring,” Blueblood muttered, “I do thee wed.”

twow: “Now if anyone has any reasons why these two should not be wed...”

Fluttershy: “EVERYTHING!”

As she felt the cold metal pierce her exposed clit, the bride’s body spasmed violently. She was momentarily blinded by white-hot pain as a drop of blood trickled down her slit. Her bell of paradise jingled spastically as the blood from her clit mingled with the red wax covering her anus.

No_M: (vomits)

twow: (hands Nocturnal the bucket) Here. Share it with Fluttershy.

Celestia put a forehoof over her neck to keep the bride’s head still. Luna amused herself be nibbling on the groundskeeper's right ear and licking inside it.

The pain of her pierced clitoris was more than the bride could bear.

Fluttershy: AAGH!

twow: (wincing) Son of a bitch. Nocturnal, could you help her? I don’t know what to do.

No_M: (grabs Fluttershy, pets her mane, and hands her the vomit bucket)

Fluttershy: (softly) I just wanna go home...

She silently cried out in anguish as her fleshy nub bled. The bell attached to her tongue jingled in time to her labored breathing.

“As you writhe on the ground in unspeakable pain, you have never looked more beautiful to me.” Blueblood said.

No_M: Fucking asshole.

twow: Took the words right out of my mouth.

The unexpected and sudden agony was too much for the groundskeeper to bear. Amidst the stinging pain and her abject terror, the bride couldn’t hold her water. Her body trembled as a healthy stream of piss arched into the air.

“My bride is offering me her champagne!” Blueblood said, happily, “How romantic.”

twow: And now we see just how low his standards are.

Bringing his muzzle forward, Blueblood placed his lips over his bride’s bloody and piss-soaked hole. The eager prince guzzled her acrid urine with wild abandon. Piss splashed directly onto Blueblood’s tongue before sliding down his eager throat. He moaned in pleasure as his bride’s bladder emptied itself into his mouth.

No_M: I hope to god Prime doesn’t have any weird ass fetishes or kinks like watersports. Please god no.

twow: Nah. He’ll probably make you dress up like Optimus Prime. (smacked by Nocturnal)

No_M: And if he does THAT, I’m putting him in women’s lingerie.

Fluttershy: (giggles) That’s funny!

twow: Do NOT want to picture that.

The groundskeeper twitched as she felt Blueblood’s tongue penetrate her labia, as if trying to coax more piss out of her.

After a minute, the bride’s urine had been reduced to a faint trickle. The last few spurts arched up into the air while she lay on her back. She had never felt so mortified or violated.

All: NO REALLY.

Blueblood licked her labia clean of urine, before biting onto her clit ring with his tongue and tugging on it playfully. The groundskeeper winched as her swollen nub stretched and bled.

While Blueblood had managed to swallow most of his bride’s piss, trace amounts of it had stained his muzzle and dripped down his chin.

“Your bride has stained your coat yellow,” Luna said, smiling, “You match!”

Fluttershy: ...can I dye my coat anything but yellow now?

No_M: Shhh. Your coat’s a nice yellow. Not one I would compare to urine stains, even if I started to go colorblind.

twow: And Blueblood’s coat is going to have a healthy sheen of red anyway.

After a moment of intense twat torture,

No_M: FUCKING CALL IT A VAGINA.

twow: (shoots TV) WHY WON’T IT WORK?!

Blueblood let go of the clit ring. He stood up and stared quizzically at his bride, as if he were debating how to further debase her. She looked at him in a desperate attempt to invoke sympathy. Blueblood responded by spitting on her face.

twow: Kill. KILL. KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!

His loogie landed on her left eye. She would’ve lifted a forehoof to wipe it away, but Celestia and Luna were still holding her down. The groundskeeper had no choice but to lay there as Blueblood’s mouth mucus oozed down her left cheek.

Fluttershy: “Mouth mucus?”

twow: Now BS is just fucking with me.

She began to silently whimper. The only sounds made were the jingling of her bell.

“The pain you feel now is the passing of weakness,” Blueblood said, “When temperance and forbearance have been purged from your body, you will be worthy to hold the title of libertine.”

Fluttershy: I don’t think it’s worth it.

Blueblood smiled as he imagined his bride being a match for his cruelty after her transformation. Years from now, all who heard her jingling bell would know that the most sadistic mare in all the land was approaching. Equestrians would quake with fear at the mere mention of her name.

No_M: SHED.MOV, that is all.

twow: I still haven’t seen that.

After letting go of the groundskeeper, Celestia and Luna stood up and walked over to Blueblood. His bride lay on the ground in abject disgrace. Her anus had been burned by hot wax and she was bleeding from the fresh piercings in her tongue and clit. Her silver bell dangled limply as she tried to breath.

Fluttershy: So I’m basically living in hell.

twow: Nah. Your soul is going anywhere but there.

“Nephew,” Celestia said, “Your bride has been deemed worthy to join our ranks. Are you prepared to receive the unspeakable gift of immortality?”

Blueblood’s heart jumped into his throat. This was the moment he had been dreaming of his whole life. Soon, he would become a god. Not only would he be feared, he would be worshipped.e

twow: Blueblood immortal. DEAR GOD NO.

No_M: What’s worse is that Fluttershy’ll be immortal too. To endure the sadistic whims of Blueblood for all eternity. (grabs Fluttershy and hugs her)

twow: Do me a favor and keep doing that. Because I can’t help her.

“I’m ready,” Blueblood said, “Grant me this honor, which is thy power.” Celestia smiled.

“Join us in the center of the room that we may conduct a hoof fasting ceremony,” Celestia said.

Fluttershy: As long as they don’t use wax, okay.

Luna directed Blueblood and his bride to stand in a large circle of lit candles, which Celestia had arranged on the floor. The groundskeeper was reluctant to move, but Luna forced her by tugging on the bell of paradise.

twow: Stop calling it that.

“Now, stand on your hind legs and face each other,” Celestia said. Blueblood gazed at his bride. She didn’t look at him, but instead chose to focus on the little candles which surrounded her on the ground. Following Celestia’s orders, Blueblood and his bride stood on their hind legs.

“How long must we remain like this?” Blueblood said, “It’s difficult to balance on two legs.”

twow: Oh, shut the fuck UP. Fluttershy’s been through hell and you're bitching about standing up? You fucking prick!

“Support each other with your forehooves,” Celestia said, “Right forehoof to right forehoof and left forehoof to left forehoof. When your hooves cross in the middle, they make a figure eight, or the symbol for infinity. As your hooves come together to balance and help your spouse to stand, may you both support each other in all aspects of your marriage.”

Fluttershy: I’d gladly do so if I hadn’t been tortured and hurt.

twow: This is the making of a broken relationship.

It was a surprisingly sweet sentiment. If the groundskeeper hadn’t just been violated and tortured, she might’ve actually appreciated the ceremony.

No_M: People like grapes.

Fluttershy: Grapes?

No_M: Yes. Watermelon’s pretty good too. But grapes are the best.

twow: Nocturnal, what the hell are you talking about?

No_M: I warned you about the grapes twow.

twow: I think that you’re going insane.

No_M: AND I’M TAKING YOU WITH ME. WHEEEEEEE~

Fluttershy: Oh boy.

“Now, to bind your forehooves with the fasting cord,” Luna said, as she brought a red silk cord, to symbolize their passion. She tied it around their forehooves three times, before forming another figure eight with the cord. Luna then bowed her head and rested the tip of her horn on the red cord. Summoning ancient magics, Luna recited an incantation.

twow: She’s going to read from the Necronomicon.

“This is the spell that we intone, flesh to flesh and bone to bone, sinew to sinew and vein to vein, each one to its own again,” Luna said, “Made to measure, wrought to bind, blessed be this cord entwined.”

The cord glowed and began to make snapping and crackling sounds as sparks flew from both ends. The cord was consumed by the fire until there was nothing left. The sparks didn’t burn, but tingled.

No_M: This goddamn cord thing is gonna come back to bite us in the ass, I can feel it in my bones.

Fluttershy: Someone’s going to be hung by it. Calling it now.

No_M: But the cord burned. There’s nothing left of it. I mostly mean the ancient majyyks that Luna used.

twow: Watch the cord come BACK. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Once the cord had been consumed, Luna stepped back and allowed Celestia to take her place.

“Mares and gentlecolts, we are gathered here on this most auspicious of nights to celebrate the union of Prince Blueblood and his mute bride,” Celestia said, “If anypony can think of a reason why these two should not be wed, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.”

twow: I can think of one pony that would...OH FUCKING WAIT.

The groundskeeper tried to speak, but she couldn’t. She shook her head, but Luna was using her aura to keep the bell of paradise suspended in midair, which prevented it from making any sound.

Fluttershy: I really hate everypony in this.

twow:Now this just got stupider.

“No objections?” Celestia said, tauntingly, “Then I now pronounce you mare and colt. You may kiss the bride.”

Blueblood and the groundskeeper stood on their hind legs, with their forehooves crossed. Blueblood leaned forward to kiss his bride, while she leaned her head further away. Luna used her magic to manipulate the bell of paradise and forced the bride to lean her head forward until her outstretched tongue entered Blueblood’s mouth.

No_M: Luna you cunt. Stop that right this instant.

twow: It’s cute how you think she’ll actually do so.

She kissed Blueblood as her bell dangled below their chins. She could feel Blueblood’s hot breath as his tongue tenaciously probed her mouth. When the kiss was broken, Blueblood and his bride stopped holding hooves and returned to standing on all fours. Blueblood beamed as his bride knelt before him as a sign of deference.

Fluttershy: More of a sign of being tired.

twow: Frankly, you deserve a medal for not passing out yet.

“Now that you are officially married, it is time for the wedding toast,” Celestia said, “Luna, bring out the sacrifices!”

twow: Oh, that’s a good sign.

From behind a large curtain in the back of their bedroom, Luna used her magic to push a large wine press which was set on wheels. The press consisted of a large wooden tub and operated via a complex system of gears and levers. A spiraled metal pole jutted up from the center of the press and connected to a heavy wooden lid. When lowered, the lid would crush the contents of the press into a liquidy pulp.

No_M: Now why can’t they just cut their throats like earlier in the story? Oh right. This is Blueblood we’re talking about here.

twow: And I know exactly who’s going to be sacrificed.

Two mares dangled from a rope which was tied to a hook in the underside of the press lid. A mint-colored unicorn and cream-colored earth pony, who had both become recent servants of the princesses.

Fluttershy: Lyra and Bon-Bon?!

twow: FUCKING. CALLED. IT.

No_M: Shh. Stay calm twow. We still have more story to get through before you lose your mind.

twow: (mumbling) I can’t take much more of this...

No_M: You need another slice of ice cream cake?

twow: Would it even help?

Fluttershy: Apathy. That scares me more than the anger.

No_M: (hugs twow)

Their mouths were tied with gags. They made muffled moans as the large barrel was wheeled to the center of the room.

“Remove their gags,” Celestia said, “Full-throated screaming is much more entertaining than muffled pleas.”

twow: Put that shit on a soundtrack and these two bitches would have the perfect lullaby tape.

Luna used her silver dagger to cut off the gags; allowing their victims to speak.

“Well, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into,” the earth pony servant said.

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” the unicorn servant said, “We’ve gotten out of worse scrapes before.”

Fluttershy: There was that one time when they had to jump through burning hoops over a pit of lava.

Luna levitated her dagger over to the squabbling couple and cut their ropes, which dropped them into the wine press.

“I’ve heard of being over a barrel, but this is ridiculous,” the unicorn servant said, while rubbing the back of her head with her forehoof.

twow: She could also have been in the frying pan.

Fluttershy: That’s a horrible thought.

“Would you stop with the jokes?” the earth pony servant said, angrily, “We’ve got to get out of here.”

“A sacrifice must be made,” Celestia said, as she ignored the words of the bickering couple in the vat, “To prolong a life, the life of another must be cut short. It is the way of things.”

No_M: I wish I could scream “IMMORTALITY DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT” at the story, but it does in this universe. It’s fucking stupid, but it works.

Fluttershy: Don’t they have to bathe in the blood of virgins or something like that?

No_M: Essentially.

twow: ...nah, that’d be too dirty.

Blueblood stared at the wine press with sadistic glee, while his bride was discovering new ways to become petrified with fear.

twow: As I’ve said before,I’m surprised she’s still standing.

Luna pulled a large lever, which sent the lid slowly closing down into the wine press. Although the thick wooden sides of the barrel obscured the two ponies inside from view, all those present could hear their hooves pounding on the sides and their screams of protest.

“No!” the earth pony servant cried, “Let us out, please! We haven’t done anything wrong!”

“Is this because I was stealing the royal bath soaps?” the unicorn said, indignantly, “I’ll return them. I swear!”

No_M: New headcanon - Blueblood universe Lyra does bath salts.

twow: PFFFFFFT.

The bride couldn’t stand the screams of the two trapped mares. There was nothing she could do to save them; she was too petrified to move her hooves. She shook her head frantically, in the hopes that her jingling bell would drown out their anguished pleas.

“Stop!” the cream-colored mare screamed, “Please stop, for mercy’s sake!”

Fluttershy: They have no mercy! Isn’t what they’ve done to me enough proof?!

The unicorn looked into her marefriend’s eyes, which were swimming with tears.

“This is it, isn’t it?” the earth pony asked her marefriend, “All our escapes and misadventures were just leading to this?”

twow: Actually, they were leading to the Farplane.

“If we are to die,” the unicorn said, “Then let’s make one last pleasant memory together.” The unicorn threw herself on top of her marefriend to shield her from the crushing lid. As their eyes met, the unicorn leaned down and kissed her marefriend.

“I love you,” the unicorn said, “I’ll always love you; even after we transcend this cruel plane of existence.”

twow: Huh. That was really depressing...

No_M: Nothing about this story ISN’T depressing though.

twow: This hits me more though for some reason.

“Oh, Lyra,” the earth pony said.

“Bon Bon,” Lyra replied.

twow: Ya know, I think that’s the first time anypony that isn’t fucked in the brain has been named, save the fillies and colts.

The sentiments were cut short by the lid of the press pushing down against Lyra’s back. Exerting all of her strength, she tried to stop the press from crushing Bon Bon for as long as possible. Her knees began to shake.

Fluttershy: (wincing)

twow:It’s like a Indiana Jones trap that works.

Celestia and Luna could hear the mechanisms straining under the fierce resistance. Bon Bon crawled out from underneath Lyra and helped to stop the lid’s descent.

“Please!” Bon Bon begged, “Somepony! Anypony! Save us!”

twow: Now that’s not even fair.

The groundskeeper felt a fire burn within her. She had been too much of a doormat to resist the mutilation of her body. She was used to putting her own comforts aside. It was only when she saw the libertines attempting to murder two ponies that she felt a small spark of courage.

Fluttershy: I’m standing by my claim that I would have fought before this.

The two mares inside the barrel were struggling against the press. They had managed to stall the mechanism, but there was no telling how long they could hold out. The gears of the press made loud, grinding sounds as they fought against the fierce resistance.

“These two stubborn dykes

No_M: (hisses angrily)

twow: Yikes. Sore spot?

No_M: A bit, yes.

had the gall to espouse the ‘virtues’ of monogamy,” Blueblood said to his bride, “When my aunts interrogated them, the two mares claimed to have reserved their fornications exclusively for each other. There’s no room in this world for such close-minded behavior.

twow: Oh, you mean commitment?

Fluttershy: So many examples, don’t need them.

 You’re a gardener, so you know better than most. If a bee limited itself to pollinating only one flower, the rest will wither and die. They are unworthy of the blood which courses through their veins, so we shall relieve them of it.”

No_M: FLOWER SEX IS NOT THE SAME AS MAMMAL SEX.

Fluttershy: There is a difference between a BEE and a FLOWER when it comes to sex!

twow: BS, you’re slipping.

As Blueblood spoke so casually about murder, something snapped inside the mind of his bride.

Fluttershy: Took me long enough.

twow: Wanna kill now.

To the surprize of everyone present, including herself, the timid groundskeeper summoned courage from some previously untapped reservoir of strength. She ran past Blueblood and the princesses and grabbed onto the lever; she was determined to set it in reverse.

twow: And then she was going to do the Cha-Cha.

Even if it meant her life was forfeit, she would not allow the libertines’ machinations to go unchallenged. She pushed with all her might, but the bride’s frail arms weren’t strong enough. She pushed harder as her bell of paradise jingled.

twow: ...

Fluttershy: What’s wrong?

twow: Fallen would be happy here, because singing is the LAST thing I wanna do.

Blueblood saw her struggling with the lever and decided to help his eager bride. Using his magic aura, Blueblood telekinetically-pulled his wife back to him. As she was being levitated away, the groundskeeper tried to hold tight to the lever.

twow: How is that helping?

Fluttershy: We forget that Blueblood doesn’t understand kind-

 Blueblood yanked her back with more force, which inadvertently caused her to pull the lever down to its most severe setting.

Fluttershy: (screams)

twow: Son of a BITCH!

Her stomach knotted when she heard the screams of the two mares as their bodies were slowly crushed.

No_M: NononononononoNONONONONONONO.

As the press lowered itself with increased strength, the servants’ forelegs and hindlegs broke under the stran. Their valiant efforts to thwart the relentless press proved futile. Blueblood found the sound of their snapping bones and agonizing screams to be more cheerful than choirs of angels.

twow: I’m sure every angel that exists would slaughter you right now.

He nuzzled his bride’s neck as she sat and stared at the barrel in abject horror.

“I’m so proud of you,” Blueblood said, as he kissed her tear-stained cheek.

No_M: FUCK YOU.

Fluttershy: (crying bitterly) I just want to go home! Please let me go home!

twow: (holding Fluttershy) Just a little while longer...

The gurgling screams which issued from Lyra and Bon Bon’s blood-filled mouths were soon drowned out by the sounds of their ribs cracking. After that, a chilling silence hung in the air.

A funnel in the wine press filled up a large silver goblet with fresh, warm blood. A filter helped prevent any viscera or bits of bone from contaminating the deadly draught.

twow: There’s no filter tight enough that can get all of it from going into the goblet.

When the goblet was filled to the brim, Celestia recited an incantation.

“The blood of the innocent runs through our veins.

Through their forced sacrifice our beauty remains,” Celestia said as the tip of her horn illuminated.

twow: I STILL don’t understand how that makes sense. What if they can’t get blood?

After Celestia stepped back, the contents of the goblet gave an eery glow. Celestia and Luna levitated it over to Blueblood and his wife.

“Drink,” Celestia said, “and know immortality.”

Fluttershy: Can I take a rain check?

twow: And date it for NEVER.

Blueblood’s magical aura brought the warm draught to his lips. His aunts’ enchanted goblet imbued the blood of their victims with life-granting properties.

Blueblood tipped the goblet back and drank the contents. The blood of the two mares was still warm. The dark red liquid danced on his tongue like a whore, vying for attention.

twow: That’s...weird.

The experience was wholly new to Blueblood. He had drank the blood of his victims numerous times, but it had never before filled his body with such warmth and light. As the contents of the goblet were downed, he felt an increased bout of energy. His heart began to beat rapidly. His rock hard member twitched with anticipation as he imagined an eternity of sadistic carnal pleasures.

twow: Annnnnd, he’s immortal now.

Fluttershy: Does that mean that you can’t hurt him now?

twow: He can still feel pain, right? (grins)

Blueblood had managed to stifle the aging process; even death itself was subservient to his desires. All that remained was for his bride to drink and claim her gift.

Celestia and Luna held the groundskeeper down as Blueblood lowered the goblet to her lips. She kept her mouth closed, until Celestia’s mouth forced it open.

Fluttershy: NonononononoononNONONONO!!!

twow: That’s when throats get cut.

The groundskeeper’s life flashed before her eyes. The thought of an eternity with Prince Blueblood was more horrible than she could bear. At that moment, she would’ve rather drunk poison and welcomed the oblivion that followed.

twow: And everyone in this room can understand that.

Before the blood could be poured down her throat, the ceremony was interrupted.

twow: “CHEESE!”

The door to the sisters’ bedroom was flung open, revealing the morning light. The thick shades which covered the windows to Celestia and Luna’s bedroom had kept their works in darkness. Until the door was opened, they had no idea that the sun had risen.

Fluttershy: I thought that Celestia rose the sun. Wouldn’t she know?

twow: In this universe, they princesses don’t control the sun and the moon. That’s what led to Twilight’s death.

 A new day had dawned, like some heavy-handed symbolism.

A stallion staggered into the room as the rays of the sun washed over him. It was Filthy Rich. A trident was embedded in his neck and he was choking on his own blood.

“Kkkt. Kkkt,”

No_M: Just tried to make that noise. Came out sounding like a duck.

twow: BWHAHAHA!

Filthy Rich choked, before collapsing on the floor. Without a moment’s hesitation, Blueblood set down the goblet and ran to his fallen friend. Filthy Rich had left a trail of blood down the hall. His pulse weakened as his lungs filled with blood. Blueblood cradled Filthy Rich in his forehooves and stared at him. Blueblood was in a state of shock

Fluttershy:He was so shocked that he lost his period.

“Filthy,” Blueblood said, in disbelief, “Who did this to you?”

Filthy Rich couldn’t answer, for he was already dead. Blueblood stared into the glassy eyes of his fellow libertine.

Fluttershy: And then they shattered.

“Goodbye, old friend,” Prince Blueblood said, as he closed Filthy Rich’s eyes “May legions of buggerable colts sing thee to thy rest.”

No_M: How about no.

twow: Enjoy hell, bitch.

Leaving no time for sentimentality, Blueblood arose and stared at his aunts.

“Our pleasures are in peril,” Blueblood said, ominously.

The identity of Filthy Rich’s assassin became apparent soon enough. Blueblood could hear a great commotion down the hall, as royal guards fought with the commoners of Canterlot.

Fluttershy: What’s going on?

twow: I think that we might be experiencing what’s called a “hope spot.”

It was not just the pony citizens who were rebelling. The zebras had also risen up against their masters. One particularly-impassioned zebra led the charge on attacking the royal guards. She hurled vials and potions, which shattered on the ground and immobilized the guards.

“Shake off your fetters!

Behead your betters!” the zebra shouted as she rallied her forces behind her.

twow: Oh hai Zecora.

Under normal circumstances, the royal guards would’ve easily overpowered any rebels. After the marathon orgy though, the guards were in no condition to fight and were quickly subdued by the populace.

Fluttershy: And that’s why you don’t have massive orgies.

twow: Hey, I’m fine with it if they pay for it.

Celestia and Luna left Blueblood’s bride unattended and ran to the window.

Fluttershy: And I made my escape.

 After opening the curtains, the royal sisters gazed down at the courtyard below.

Revolutionaries were laying siege to Canterlot Castle. The guards were soaked in their own blood as the humble farmers and shop owners rose up to overthrow their despotic leaders.

Fluttershy: Wait, I thought that they hid their activities. How did they find out?

twow: Maybe the fucking massive orgy that took place beforehand.

 They stormed the outer walls of the castle brandishing farm implements, which had been excessively sharpened.

A small army of rebels crossed the main road through the middle in their efforts to get to the castle. They had no regard of the authority of the princesses or the established jaywalking laws.

No_M: Because the most important thing here is that they’re breaking the jaywalking laws.

twow: Rape, torture and jaywalking.

A small unit of guards was all that stood between Blueblood and the angry peasants. The libertines waited for the inexorable tide of revolutionaries.

A blue-coated unicorn with a silvery mane led the charge as she cast immobilization spells on the guards.

Fluttershy: Trixie?

twow: Ah, hell yeah.

She was flanked on either side by her two faithful unicorn lieutenants. The taller one had a green mane with a coat the color of sweet potatoes. The stouter one had an orange mane and a teal-colored coat.

No_M: I think these two are Snips and Snails?

twow: If so, they took a major level in badass.

“These fallen gods are no match for our righteous fury!” the stout unicorn said.

“The victory will soon be ours, o great and fearless Trixie,” the lanky unicorn said to the rebel leader.

Fluttershy: Yes, that’s them alright.

“Was there ever any doubt?” Trixie said, boastfully.

The rebels entered the princesses’ bedchambers. They found Celestia and Luna standing beside their nephew.

“Princesses of the Moon and Sun,

You two shall pay for what you’ve done!” the zebra said.

twow: And it’s loooooooooooooooooooooong overdue.

The opposition was too numerous for the libertines to subdue. Without intimidation, reverence and fear, they had no power.

Enchanted ropes shot out from beneath Trixie’s cloak and tied themselves around Celestia and Luna.

Fluttershy: Don’t the princesses have magic?

twow: Maybe having sex takes it out of them.

 The two unicorn lieutenants assaulted Prince Blueblood with sharpened farm implements.

twow: And they cut his dick off. PLEASE tell me that happens.

"Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change." Blueblood shouted.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” The stout lieutenant said as he bashed Blueblood’s face in with a shovel.

No_M: Not enough pain. That was far too merciful. I hope he’s not dead yet because he needs more pain.

twow:We can make that happen.

As the libertines were subdued by the rebellion, the groundskeeper breathed a sigh of relief.

She had been saved.

Fluttershy: Really?!

twow: Let’s....let’s take a fucking break.

No_M: Something about this is off.

twow: Yeah. All of the other Elements have died, there’s no reason that Fluttershy’s going to get off so easily.

Fluttershy: Aww, and I wanted to keep that hope.

twow: I’m not saying that you’re going to suffer more, but I’m just...not sure.

No_M: I can’t help but think back to that fucking wedding ceremony.

Fluttershy: What part about it?

No_M: The whole bonded-union bullshit. I dunno. I’m thinking that if Blueblood dies, then Fluttershy’s gonna have to die too.

twow: Well, he’s immortal now, right?

Fluttershy: I think so. But, did anything happen besides torture that bonded us together? Like, magically?

No_M: Luna’s goddamn spell and that idiotic cord.

twow: Argh! That fucking cord, of course!

Fluttershy: Well, at least I’ll be free of him...I guess.

No_M: Ugh. All this talk about the story is annoying me. Let’s talk about happier things. Like potatoes.

Fluttershy: (giggling) Do you like potatoes that much?

No_M: Yes. Yes I do. Potatoes are the best food ever discovered.

twow: I think pizza might have you beat right there.

No_M: Pizza is the best food ever invented.

twow: Ah, true fax. I stand corrected.

Fluttershy: And the best dessert is ice cream.

twow: Hell. Yes.

No_M: Hnnng, I really love oranges too.

twow: What about grapefruits?Mmmm.

No_M: I don’t think I’ve ever actually tried grapefruits.

twow: (gasp)

Fluttershy: Really?

No_M: I’m allergic to most fruit, so I tend to avoid them.

twow: Hmm.I wonder if I could try curing allergies...

Fluttershy: That would make for an interesting experiment.

twow: Yes. If I succeed, could I try it on you, Nocturnal?

No_M: ABSOULTELY! Pollen allergies in the springtime are a bitch, and it would be great to not have to deal with them anymore.

twow: Then that’ll be my priority after we’re done with this and I beat the hell out of Blueblood.

Fluttershy: Sounds like a good use of your time.

twow: I always spend my time wisely.

Pinkamena: (from TV) You’re almost done, guys! Ready to end it?

Fluttershy: PLEASE.

twow: (sighs) Sure. Ready, Nocturnal?

No_M: Let’s fucking end this.

twow: Truer words have never been spoken.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

"It is not my mode of thought that has caused my misfortunes, but the mode of thought of others."

— Marquis de Sade

twow: Or the mode of being in this fanfic.

It was morning in Equestria. Canterlot Castle began the day surrounded by an angry mob, who were there to dethrone the royal family.

Fluttershy: With axes.

twow: I’m going to make an effort to be funny. Let’s see how long that lasts.

While most of the rebels were dragging the libertines outside for their trial and execution, at least one pony had entered the castle on a rescue mission.

twow: Didn’t just about all of them try rescuing the hostages?

Fluttershy: I don’t think that any of them know about them.

Sister Sunflower ran through the deserted corridors, calling out the names of her lost orphans.

“Scootaloo!” she cried, “Featherweight! Truffle Shuffle! Pipsqueak!”

It had been four long months since the children were taken from her orphanage. During that time, Sister Sunflower had spent many sleepless nights worried about their safety.

twow:The bags under her eyes were DARK.

After Sister Spectrum received a divine call to rescue the children, Suster Sunflower prayed for her friend’s protection as she risked her life. In the end, Sister Sunflower was unable to stop Sister Spectrum from being publicly raped and beheaded.

Fluttershy: (sighs) We know.

twow:(bows his head)

Attendance at the Church of the Holy Sisters was at an all-time low after Celestia and Luna were revealed to be cannibalistic mass murderers.

No_M: I WONDER WHY.

twow: I turn your attention to the TWO TIMES Blueblood executed one of the Elements in public.

In spite of Canterlot losing their religion, many still held firm to the moral principles of their faith.

Sister Sunflower was one such individual. She had lost her best friend to the sadistic prince and was determined to honor her memory. Sister Sunflower reasoned that the only fitting tribute for Sister Spectrum was to complete her quest to rescue the orphans.

Fluttershy: A noble quest.

twow: Hopefully they didn’t all die.

In order to do that, she sought out a small band of rebels who plotted to overthrow the princesses. They met in secret; using Sister Sunflower’s church as a base of operations for the rebellion. As the numbers of outraged citizens began to swell, the rebel leaders set their sights on Canterlot Castle.

twow: As opposed to...

Fluttershy: Trottingham?

Sister Sunflower ran through the long hallways; checking each deserted room. She was sapped of energy and slowly sinking into despair. She feared that she would never find the children in this labyrinthine castle. They might be already dead for all she knew.

twow: Do you think that their minds are dead, or their bodies? That means a lot in this.

She reflected back on happier times; when she taught the children to offer prayers to the royal sisters and praise them with song. In light of recent events, all such memories now carried a bitter aftertaste.

“The Sisters love me. This I know,” Sister Sunflower sang, half-heartedly, “For their letters tell me so.”

twow: NOPE. Don’t you dare ruin that song for me.

Sister Sunflower stopped in the throne room of the royal sisters. She stared at huge paintings of Celestia and Luna which adorned the walls. There was an unpleasant odor in the room, which Sister Sunflower couldn’t quite identify.

Fluttershy: It smelled like really old urine and cheesy chips.

No_M: Don’t forget feces.

twow: Thought you died on us for a sec, Nocturnal.

She felt prompted to offer prayers to Celestia and Luna in the hopes that they might inspire her search. Sister Sunflower felt a pit form in her stomach when she realized that the royal sisters couldn’t help anypony anymore; not even themselves.

twow: Well, they can’t NOW...

Fluttershy: I thought they were immortal. What’s stopping them from blasting everypony?

No_M: At this point, who cares.

“It was all I lie,” Sister Sunflower said, “I was blind; not knowing whom I worshipped.”

Sister Sunflower rested her head on the windowsill and began to weep. She looked up into the sky and thought of her friend.

“Sister Spectrum,” Sister Sunflower said as she prayed vocally, “I know not where your soul has gone,

twow: To heaven. She fucking deserved it.

but if you can hear me, please aid me in finding those young innocent souls

No_M: *sobs*

Fluttershy: (hugs Nocturnal)

twow: Innocent. Yeah, I remember being innocent. Was a happy time.

who are lost.”

She closed her eyes and listened for an answer. Sister Sunflower focused and could hear the faint sounds of children’s laughter emanating from within the castle garden. The source of the noise was obscured by a large hedge.

twow: They need to go over the hedge.

Fluttershy: If that was a reference, it failed.

Feeling a sudden burst of energy, Sister Sunflower galloped from the throne room and down to the garden. She wasn’t prepared for what she found when she arrived.

On a patch of dead grass, her four orphans were engaged in a sexual orgy of unrivaled perversity. Two fillies, which the nun didn’t recognize, were also committing lewd acts. The visceral nature of their barbaric carnality made it impossible for the nun to avert her eyes.

Fluttershy: Can I just...not look at this part?

twow: Oh...this is gonna be good.

Four months of stringent conditioning by the libertines had finally broken their resolve. The minds of the six children were gone. There was no consent. There was no love. Just a perpetuation of brutal rape fueled by animalistic lust. Their desire to achieve orgasm took precedence over all else.

No_M: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.

twow: ...I really want to know how to make this funny. SOMEONE TELL ME.

Scootaloo was grinding her vagina against a mare’s skull as she stared vacantly into space. All of the flesh had been picked clean from the skull. Scootaloo’s labia lips were red and raw.

twow: Someone’s gonna need some ChapStick.

Not even the burning pain in her loins could dissuade her from rubbing her mound against the skull, which was slick from her juices.

“Bless my unworthy cunt, Sister Spectrum!” Scootaloo screamed in excruciating ecstasy, “Purify my pussy and make me cum! Take me to heaven with you!”

No_M: …......................................................................

Fluttershy: Ah, NOPE.

twow: “Let me into your heart! Take me and let me be reborn!”

It suddenly dawned on Sister Sunflower whose skull Scootaloo was violating. She felt as though she would be sick.

Fluttershy: (barfs)

twow: So how long after the orgy did the children’s minds snap? Four months? Yeah, that’s right.

Scootaloo was the only child who still possessed the ability to speak. The other children were too far removed to form words. All they could do was grunt and scream while fornicating like wild beasts. Scootaloo’s connection to Sister Spectrum was the only thing that preserved her language center. She had become lost in her own make-believe world of pleasant memories, which had become corrupted by the libertines’ indoctrination.

No_M: This is so fucking sad. Jesus Christ.

twow: Don’t even try to make jokes. I’ll take care of that.

Fluttershy: I worry for your mind.

The children were covered in a mix of shit, piss, vomit and cum. If the sight wasn’t enough to make Sister Sunflower want to vomit, the smell would’ve further compelled her to puke.

Young Pipsqueak’s face had been mutilated. An empty socket was all that remained of his left eye. It didn’t stay vacant for long, though. Featherweight mounted Pipsqueak’s head and stuck the tip of his cock into the colt’s darkened eye hole.

No_M: FUCKING NOPE.

twow: How is that even a thing?

Fluttershy: I think I might seethe point.

twow: That was horrible. I love it.

Featherweight made unintelligible moans, as his tongue had been cut out. All of his feathers had been plucked, leaving him to flap his useless wings against his back. Pipsqueak lay there as the colt’s member thrust inside his face. Featherweight's mouth hung open as he drooled saliva onto Pipsqueak.

A gray filly, whom Sister Sunflower had never seen before, was sucking on Pipsqueak’s hardened shaft.

Fluttershy: ...Silver Spoon?

twow: Oh yeah. She and Diamond exist.

In spite of his balls having already been thoroughly drained, Silver Spoon tried to coax more semen out onto her already cum-covered face. Pipsqueak’s remaining eye rolled listlessly in his head as he felt another orgasm building.

Fluttershy: Just how LONG have they been at it?!

twow: Three days and five hours.

No_M: Long enough that, theoretically, they should all be either passed out, or dead by now.

Truffle Shuffle had mounted a pink filly and was sodomizing her while shoving her face into a pile of shit. Rather than sobbing due to her anal assault, Diamond Tiara smiled psychotically as she feasted on feces. She imagined that her father was raping her. Truffle Shuffle had been specifically trained by Filthy Rich, so the chubby colt’s mannerisms reflected those of his late teacher.

twow: Diamond, even if I don’t like you, I want to apologize for everything I’ve said about you during this.

Fluttershy: ...we need to leave now.

Sister Sunflower was too stunned to move. She began to weep over the loss of their innocence and sanity.

“Too late,” Sister Sunflower said, quietly, “I was too late.”

twow: “Damn white rabbit ran off with my watch...”

Featherweight’s tongueless mouth made an unintelligible groan as he pulled out of Pipsqueak’s eye socket and came all over his face. Ejaculation splattered in Pipsqueak’s vacant socket and slid down his cheek, which created the illusion that he was crying cum. This caused a chain reaction, which resulted in Pipsqueak’s own orgasm. His excessive number of recent ejaculations had resulted in serious medical complications.

twow: Like death. Oh wait, that SHOULD have happened.

Blood vessels in his prostate had burst, so when he came on Silver Spoon’s face, his semen was red and bloody. Pipsqueak screamed in tormented titillation as Silver Spoon swallowed his bloody cum.

No_M: *vomits*

Fluttershy: (hands Nocturnal the bucket) Your turn.

Truffle Shuffle had grown increasingly violent and domineering since his repeated sodomies from Filthy Rich. The chubby colt’s rectum was filled with anal warts, which made him feel as though his sphincter was constantly on fire; a parting gift from Filthy Rich. The only way to assuage the pain of his ruinous rectal reamings was through a constant stream of orgasms.

twow: And now I’m getting “Marshmallow Holes” flashbacks.

Fluttershy: You didn’t even mention the alliteration.

twow: Everything else is WORSE.

He intensified his thrusting into Diamond Tiara’s ass as he neared his climax. She clenched her shit-stained teeth as her rectum was lubed with the colt’s ample amount of precum.

Just before ejaculating, Truffle Shuffle cried out in anger and used a forehoof to deliver blunt force trauma to the back of Diamond Tiara’s head.

twow:“Boom. Headshot.”

She fell unconscious, face first, into a half-eaten pile of shit. Truffle Shuffle shook his hips frantically as he pumped semen into the unconscious filly’s asshole. Her rectum tightened as she unconciously milked the jizz from his cock. Truffle Shuffle unconsciously clenched his diseased sphincter, which caused an orange pus to dribble from his ass as he came.

Fluttershy:Orange?!

twow: I’m going to take eight showers a day for the rest of eternity.

Once he removed his member from her tight hole, Truffle Shuffle began sucking his own cum out of Diamond Tiara’s ass.

twow: (sighs)

Fluttershy: How have you not thrown up yet?

twow: When I figure it out, I’ll tell you both.

“I’m... I’m flying, Sister Spectrum!” Scootaloo said as she orgasmed. She wept with joy as she felt the familiar feeling of climax. The libertines had clipped Scootaloo’s wings; which now hung limply on her back. She would never fly.

twow: She couldn’t fly BEFORE.

Fluttershy: The wing clipping was a nightly activity.

Oblivious to the horrifying reality which surrounded her, Scootaloo was lost in her fantasy world. She screamed Sister Spectrum’s name as she ejaculated onto her mentor’s skull.

Sister Sunflower closed her eyes and looked away. After a momentary rest, the children changed partners and positions and resumed their orgy.

twow: HOW CAN YOU STILL BE GOING?!

Fluttershy: Most adults can’t even go that long!

Featherweight rolled Diamond Tiara’s unconscious body onto her back so she wouldn’t suffocate in shit. He then inserted his cock inside her pussy and began raping her. Featherweight pressed his lips against her cheek he tried to lick the shit from her face, but this was made more difficult since he no longer possessed a tongue.

twow: Yes. Tongues are used for licking.

Pipsqueak’s flaccid phallus was red from the blood in his last orgasm. He no longer possessed the strength to stand, let alone achieve another erection. Truffle Shuffle didn’t require his victim to be aroused. All he needed was a tight hole and minimal struggling. Truffle Shuffle rolled the exhausted Pipsqueak onto his belly. Without pausing to apply lube, Truffle Shuffle inserted his shaft into Pipsqueak’s shit chute.

No_M: It’s called a rectum. Call it a fucking rectum for the love of god.

twow: You’re telling Bronystories to use actual words. You’re cute when you wish for the impossible.

In his weakened state, Pipsqueak couldn’t scream. Even though the sting of his rough sodomy was unbearable, the most he could do was make several uncomfortable moans. Truffle Shuffle’s balls slapped repeatedly against Pipsqueak’s sensitive sack. The rough thrusting caused Pipsqueak to lose more blood as it flowed from the fresh tears in his rectal walls. Truffle Shuffle’s cock was soon coated crimson from Pipsqueak’s bleeding anus.

Fluttershy: That’s an...interesting way to prepare.

twow: Nope.

Without any cocks to suck, Silver Spoon and Scootaloo formed a sixty-nine position and began eating each other out. Scootaloo’s labia lips were raw to the point where giving her cunnilingus was tantamount to licking sandpaper.

twow: Sounds like ouch.

No_M: For some unknowable reason, I started wondering if that’s what making out with a cat feels like. Because of their tongues.

Sister Sunflower knew that the children would never be fit to live in normal pony society. Their minds had been obliterated by libertine indoctrination. They were six lost souls; without conscience or restraint. She resolved to take them back to her orphanage, where she would hide them from prying eyes.

twow: Given the current state this universe is in, I’d imagine that they’d try to help.

 She would set up a small patch of land, where she could care for them in secret. She knew that they were her burdens to bear now.

Fluttershy: And...at least they’re in a better place now.

Some of the rebels ventured deep into the underground catacombs and managed to rescue the recently captured victims of the orgy and release them from the rape dungeon. For some, they were too late. Several mares had already died from their injuries or had taken their own lives by strangling themselves with their iron chains.

twow: Damn. That’s rough.

Fluttershy: I’m upset because if they had waited a little while longer...

No_M: I watched this movie one time where literally everyone but one guy shot themselves to escape this monster, and literally not even one whole minute later, the monster was gone and the rescue party showed up. It was pretty stupid.

twow:I believe it.

 For those who committed suicide, the trauma of their recent rape and prospect of life as a sexual slave was too much to bear.

Sitting in an adjoining cell was the buggered baker, who was the only stallion captured. Upon being freed by the rebels, he limped past the mare’s cell and saw his wife’s corpse.

twow: Wait, CORPSE?!

Her body had been racked with guilt, shame and multiple orgasms. She had traded her happy life for the promise of potential power. She took her own life shortly after her imprisonment.

Fluttershy: ...

twow: To be fair, that was a bit of a mood whiplash...

Fluttershy: Even though she let herself take part in the orgy.

twow: I hate this story.

Her bowels had vacated, which left her limp body hanging from a chain over a pile of her own shit. The baker tried to feel anger towards his wife, but nothing came. Devoid of sorrow or pity, the baker was emotionally-dead inside. All that remained was a desire to continue living and be reunited with his two children.

Fluttershy: If he recovers enough to take care of Pound and Pumpkin, then he gets his happy ending.

twow: And he deservesone.

As the rebels helped the survivors out of the rape dungeon, one young victim seemed to be in a daze. She kept babbling on about the wonderful time she had.

“I had tho much fun,” the lisping filly said vacantly as she was escorted out of the castle, “The princetheth threw thuch a nithe party.”

Fluttershy: Is her mind broken now?

twow: I would not be surprised.

The filly was delusional and had erected mental blocks in order to preserve her sanity.

twow: I don’t think so.I’ve done that for YEARS.

She suppressed thoughts of her repeated rape, even though her body was glazed in dried semen.

“I can’t wait to get home and tell my mama all about it,” The filly said. These words caused her to pause. As though a switch had been flipped in her brain.

twow: Ow.

Mentioning the word ‘mama’ triggered a slew of traumatizing memories.

twow: OW.

Fluttershy: She remembered her cake exploding on her fourth birthday.

She vividly recalled her rape and violent impregnation. She remember screaming for her mother until her voice gave out.

twow:FUCKING OW.

At that moment, her legs collapsed beneath her. She slumped on the ground and began to sob uncontrollably. One of the rebels lifted her up and put her on his back as he carried her out of the castle.

No_M:*quiet sobbing*

Fluttershy: (hugs Nocturnal again) You joining, twow?

twow: That would be a bad idea in my current mood.

The vacated cells of the rape dungeon were soon filled with captured members of the royal guard. In spite of their inferior numbers, the rebellion overcame all royal opposition with relatively few casualties.

 The numerous guards were still too weak from their marathon orgy to properly defend the castle.

twow: That’s why you don’t have EVERY GUARD take place in something that’ll drain them!

They would be forced to stay in the dungeon until the rebel leaders could decide on a fitting punishment for the guards’ numerous atrocities.

Fluttershy: Anything short of death is too little.

twow: That just came from YOU.

Fluttershy: I see what this is doing to you and Nocturnal, and I HATE it.

No_M: Embrace that. It’s a nice reminder every now and again that you’re still in possession of a soul.

After being removed from the castle, the libertines were led by the rebels through the city streets. The same crowds which had cheered for Prince Blueblood’s cruelty were now celebrating his capture. Their previous submissive expressions were made out of fear and a desire for self-preservation.

Fluttershy: (hisses at the TV)

twow: Yikes.

Now that the libertines had been overthrown, there was no need for the average citizenry to pretend anymore.

twow: Took the death of five brave mares and the brutal mind breaking of six children, but yeah.

Their contempt for the royal family was palpable. The uncouth rabble gnashed their teeth and cursed the names of the libertines as they were led to their doom.

The small percentage of genuine libertine loyalists were quick to abandon all outward expressions of sympathy towards the royal family, in order to conform to the rebellion’s sense of morality.

twow: So they’re just trying to save themselves.

Fluttershy: Given their personalities, that makes sense.

 Blueblood’s hired assassin Night Shade attempted to conceal his identity beneath a cloak as he blended in with the crowd.

twow: Oh hey. He exists.

Fluttershy: Who is that?

twow: Assassin that helped with Rarity’s rape and disappeared until this chapter.

Blueblood and his aunts were led to the guillotine. Unlike Filthy Rich, Blueblood’s other friends had managed to be captured alive. Fancy Pants and Fleur were already on the stage as they stared out into the mob of bloodthirsty rebels.

twow: Is it bad that I am ecstaticfor them to die?

No_M: No. I’m right there with you.

Fluttershy: The way I’m feeling, I’ll be lucky if I’m still able to use the Element of Kindness after this.

Blueblood’s bride stood in the front row of the crowd, where she was carefully guarded on either side by two strong stallions. After having been rescued from the libertines, the groundskeeper was eager to return to her garden and block this nightmarish experience from her mind. She had endured her genital mutilation and survived her marriage to Prince Blueblood with her virginity intact.

No_M: It’s pretty sad that that’s an incredible accomplishment.

twow: But a wonderful one nonetheless.

The seal of sodomy was hidden from view by her pink tail. She planned on removing the hardened wax from her bottom at the first opportunity. Her heartbeat quickened as she looked up at Blueblood and his friends. The jingling of her bell couldn’t be heard over the cheers of the throng as the libertines were marched to the guillotine.

Fluttershy: After their death, maybe I can help fix the broken place that we call Equestria in this universe.

twow: Should be good.

The groundskeeper decided that when she returned to her garden she would topple the statues of the royal family.

No_M: You go girl. Break them.

twow: Burn them to ashes. I don’t care what it takes. BURN THEM AND SPIT ON THE ASHES.

She wanted nothing which would remind her of the traumatic experience she had endured.

The teeming masses of ponies which surrounded the stage had the groundskeeper boxed in on all sides. Even though she was a pegasus, the groundskeeper was too emotionally exhausted to fly. Since walking was her only option, she would have to wait until the crowd dispersed before she could go home.

twow: ...why do I think she should get out of there now?

No_M: Because she’s probably gonna end up dead even though it seems super hopeful that she’s gonna be okay. This IS 120 Days of Blueblood after all.

Fluttershy: I’m just not allowed to have any joy right now, am I?

Even if the groundskeeper had been able to leave right then, she would’ve chosen to stay to witness the executions. She wasn’t a vindictive mare, but she did want to see the libertines pay for their rapes and murders. The groundskeeper felt safe in the knowledge that Blueblood couldn’t hurt her anymore.

twow: True fax.

As Trixie walked past the groundskeeper, she stopped for a moment to comfort her.

“Fear not,” Trixie said, “You are safe now.”

The stallions on either side of the groundskeeper nodded. They would ensure that no harm befell her. Blueblood’s bride felt her heart swell with gratitude for having been rescued. She nodded her head softly.

twow: And promptly passed out.

Fluttershy: I would have been gone DURING the torture.

After wiping away the groundskeeper’s joyful tears, Trixie marched up the steps and confidently strode past Prince Blueblood. With a dramatic turn, she unfurled her flowing cape and addressed the assembled crowd.

“Citizens of Canterlot,” Trixie said, “We have dethroned these despotic degenerates disguised as deities!

twow: *WHAM*

Fluttershy: TWOW!

twow:There had to be at least one of them...

The blood of their countless victims cries out for justice! Are we deaf to their pleas?”

“No!” the crowd shouted in unison. The groundskeeper flinched from the loud noises. Trixie had the crowd in the palm of her hooves.

“Death to the tyrannical libertine swine!” Trixie yelled.

“Death to the tyrannical libertine swine!” the crowd echoed as they stomped their hooves.

twow: “Sharpen your torches and pitchforks!”

While Trixie continued her speech, Luna looked longingly at Celestia and gave a heavy sigh.

“Well, sister, we had a good run,” Luna said, with a hint of melancholy in her voice.

“Yes,” Celestia said, “Although it would’ve been nice to have bathed in the blood of a virgin just one more time.”

“Indeed,” Luna said, wistfully, “Few earthly pleasures could compare to the ecstasy of the rejuvenation ritual.”

Fluttershy:I don’t know. Maybe you could have taken up singing?

Blueblood’s heart was pounding. He had drank the blood of life. He felt younger than he had in years, yet he knew his life would soon be over. He had eternal youth, but he was not immortal. His body wouldn’t age, but it would decay if his head became separated from his body.

No_M: Ah. So that’s how it works. *grabs axe*

twow: Now now, Nocturnal. We need to make him suffer first.

“I don’t want to go,” Blueblood thought, anxiously.

twow: When Fallen sees this riff, Nocturnal, there are two things that are going to make him rage. You crying, and that line.

No_M: Also me calling him Bran Flakes for the rest of forever too. Because I’ve decided that’s a thing I’m going to do from now on. I am so fucking tired.

Fluttershy: (giggles) Bran Flakes. (yawns) That’s...funny.

He and his aunts had successfully managed to preserve their youth and beauty, while halting the relentless march of time. They had succeeded in stopping death itself, but a rabble of unicorn farmers with pitchforks proved too powerful for them to overcome. After a momentary pause, Blueblood addressed Celestia and Luna.

twow:“Look what you’ve gotten us into THIS time.”

“My dear aunts,” Blueblood said, sadly, “It is my fault we are here. My reckless behavior has led to our downfall.”

twow: Ya got that right.

Fluttershy: Didn’t he kill two of our friends in public?

twow: Twilight and Rainbow.

Celestia and Luna looked at each other with uncertainty, before both turning their heads to face Prince Blueblood. They reasoned that there should be no secrets between them in the face of death.

“In the interest of full disclosure, there is something we wish to confess,” Celestia said, “We did order that rainbow-maned nun to kill you.”

twow: How about that. Steel was right.

Fluttershy: Now that’s something I WISH had succeeded.

Blueblood had suspected that Celestia and Luna orchestrated his assassination attempt, but he dismissed such notions as paranoid delusions. Fleur and Fancy Pants perked up their ears as they listened to the princesses’ confession.

“What?!” Blueblood said, aghast, “Why?”

twow: “To be honest, you’re a fucking IDIOT.”

“We thought you were too bold in your actions,” Luna said, “Our concern was that your infamous hedonism would turn the populace against us.”

Fluttershy: “There might be a slight possibility that it would cause the people to rise up- OH WAIT.”

“It would seem that our fears were well-founded,” Celestia said, as she nodded her head towards the guillotine.

Blueblood paused for a moment to reflect upon his aunts’ words. He bowed his head and gave a defeated sigh.

twow: (grins) Music to my ears.

Fluttershy: Sounds like the gentle strings of a violin.

“So not only do my subjects conspire against me, but I can’t even trust my family,” Blueblood said, bitterly.

Fancy Pants and Fleur looked away and hid their heads in shame. Blueblood wondered if they pitied him, or if they had been plotting against him as well. It seems like there was no one he could trust.

“Perhaps this world would’ve been better off without me,”

No_M: Yes. Yes it would’ve.

twow: Ask the six mares, three stallions and eight children that we KNOW suffered because of you that.

Blueblood said, “Equestria was never strong enough for me to rule over it.”

Celestia leaned in and nuzzled Blueblood’s neck affectionately.

“Do not apologize, dear nephew,” Celestia said, “We are glad the attempted assassination failed. Even if we were too afraid to admit it at the time, the world needs you.”

No_M: No. No it fucking doesn’t.

Fluttershy: If the whole story was like this...then everything Nocturnal just said times ten.

Blueblood looked over at Celestia and gave a half-hearted smile. His other friends nodded in agreement.

“You’re the best among us,” Fancy Pants said, “You always were.”

“Tis true,” Luna said, “You showed us what it truly meant to be a libertine.”

twow: “Now we know how to truly be a horrible pony.”

“You awakened within us a desire for public orgies, which had lay dormant for centuries,” Celestia said, “We have existed as princesses for more than an eon, but for centuries we never truly lived life to the fullest. We had grown complacent and content with compromise. We feared incurring the wrath of our subjects, so we became aloof and made ourselves Goddesses.

twow: “And then decided that doing stuff like THIS was a good idea.”

Fluttershy: How did these two become rulers again?

This separation allowed us to continue our depraved deeds in secret. Our own fear of dying forced us to hide our indulgent actions from the world.”

“Thanks to your example, we now realize that the fear of death is the only real death,” Luna said, “That mortal terror prevented us from living our lives to the fullest for so long.”

twow: And in actually living life like that, now you’re going to die.

Fluttershy: Karma’s weird like that.

“You’re the freest spirit who ever lived,” Fleur said, “No other pony has been so fully-dedicated to the pursuit of personal pleasure. You’re lack of moral restraint is a true inspiration to libertines everywhere.”

While the libertines continued to praise Prince Blueblood, the groundskeeper watched from the front row. Blueblood gazed down and looked her in the eye. She shuddered as he gave her a creepy wink.

Fluttershy: ...I need an adult.

No_M: *holds Fluttershy’s hoof*

Fluttershy: Thanks...

Trixie stood in front of the guillotine as she addressed the crowd. She thanked them for their courage in these dark and troubled times, while condemning the libertines for their selfish and immoral ways.

“Standing before you today are several ponies whose souls have become corrupted by libertine philosophy,” Trixie said, “Celestia and Luna conducted their atrocities in secret for generations, while tempting a select few into following their false notions of pleasure, unbound by conscience.

twow: “Losing the right to claim they had souls.”

Fluttershy: They had souls?

Their ruse as Goddesses might have lasted indefinitely, if it wasn’t for their nephew, whose brazenness brought their dark deeds to light.”

Trixie was trying to sully Prince Blueblood with her remarks, but he wore her criticisms like badges of honor.

Fluttershy: Further proof that he’s INSANE.

twow: That started as soon as he looked at Sweetie Belle, and decided that he wanted to deflower her.

“Blueblood’s unbridled quest for pleasure led him down a path of self-destruction,” Trixie said, “He is a combination of narcissism, delusional grandiosity, infantile anality, and perverse exhibitionism.”

As Trixie continued her remarks, Celestia, Luna, Fancy Pants and Fleur looked respectfully at Prince Blueblood, who was beaming with pride.

twow: “Yay! I’m a horrible pony!”

 Due to his tightened cock ring, he was still sporting a massive erection for all to see. His friends smiled at his blatant indecency, even in the face of certain death. Blueblood grinned.

No_M: You fucking asshole.

twow: (starts twitching) BURRRRRRR-

Fluttershy: (tapping both humans) It’s almost over.

“Before you submit yourselves to the judgements of the law, do you have anything to say in your defense?” Trixie asked Blueblood.

"The cold and impersonal rule of law is estranged to the passions which are able to justify our wanton acts of carnality,” Blueblood said.

twow: ...the bloody hell does that even MEAN?

Trixie wrinkled her nose at Blueblood and gave him a look of contempt, before turning to face the huddled masses.

“Trixie shall rid our green and pleasant land of their corrupting blight, once and for all!” Trixie said to the crowd, before getting the attention to her lieutenants, “Bring the profane pigs to their slaughter.”

twow: Wow. I was actually happy to see that alliteration.

Fluttershy: Now we really need to get out of here.

Fancy Pants was led to the guillotine first. Fleur nuzzled his neck one last time, before he was taken away. In spite of the mortal peril, Fancy Pants’ shaft began to poke from its sheath. The threat of imminent death was quite arousing to him.

twow: ...we’re almost done. Not even questioning that.

Fluttershy: “I’m about to die! That turns me on SO MUCH.”

Once Fancy Pants had reached the guillotine, he was fully hard. The lanky lieutenant positioned his head onto the chopping block.

No_M: Which one? Because I’d settle for either first, so long as the second came shortly after.

twow: The one that causes him the most pain.

Trixie glared at him, contemptuously. She was sickened by the fact that Fancy Pants found his demise so seductive.

“Does the condemned have any last words?” Trixie asked.

twow: “I’m sorry for my dick acting retarded.”

“You give cunts a bad name!” Fancy Pants shouted, in an boisterous tone, “Your notions of morality have no right to rule! Libertine philosophy is the future! Your loins go unused, like rotten fruit on the vine. We embrace the pleasures of the flesh and our fleeting lives are richer for it! We are the pinnacle of existence! We are perfection!”

twow: Seeing as it’ll take over an hour to explain why everything he just said was wrong, I’ll save my scathing comment.

Trixie responded to Fancy Pants’ impassioned outbursts with a stern demeanor.

“Perfection is the enemy of good,” Trixie said, as she took a sinister step towards Fancy Pants, “One who cannot control themselves has no right to rule another.”

twow: Or let Trixie do it.

Fluttershy: (claps her hooves)

The groundskeeper had been watching the proceedings with increasing unease. When she sensed that things were about to turn violent, she closed her eyes and hid her face behind her large mane. She had never met Fancy Pants, but she reasoned that if he was friends with Prince Blueblood, then she would be better off not knowing him.

twow: Especially if you have kids. He ain’t running the next Daddy Day Care.

No_M: That movie was on TV a few weeks ago. Only got to see the end though. Haven’t watched the whole thing in YEARS.

twow: If it’s ever possible, I’d love to watch it with ya sometime.

Trixie stepped back and allowed one of her lieutenants to approach Fancy Pants. The lanky unicorn used his magic to levitate a sledgehammer and brought it down forcefully on Fancy Pants’ horn. It shattered; causing horn slivers to rain down in front of him. A glowing bluish-green liquid dribbled out of the horn hole and down Fancy Pants’ face.

No_M: Magic is a liquid now? Okay.

Fluttershy:Can we drink it?

twow: Damn, that had to hurt like a BITCH. Good.

Fleur gasped as she watched her lover’s horn snap into pieces. Fancy Pants screamed in pain as the guillotine blade was released by the stout lieutenant. With a sickening squelching sound, the sharp edge sliced through Fancy Pants’ neck like an overripe tangerine. His decapitated head landed with a thunk into a basket that had been placed in front of the guillotine.

twow: “Three points!”

His gold-rimmed monocle bounced off the lip of the basket and rolled toward Trixie’s hooves. She stomped on it; shattering the glass.

In his body’s last primal act of self-preservation, Fancy Pants’ erect penis ejaculated his seed onto the ground.

No_M: HOW IS THAT SELF-PRESERVATION!?

twow: It’s funny how I don’t have an answer for that.

Fluttershy: His penis had to say its final words as well.

Without a head, his body went limp. He would’ve also sprayed the stage with feces, but his bowels had recently been voided.

During the previous night, Fancy Pants and Fleur had given each other champagne enemas. They both reveled in drinking liquidy shit from each other’s assholes. It was nearly dawn before they finished.

twow: (gags) Nope, I’ve held it in this long. I can do it till the end.

Fluttershy: Nocturnal, I think I’m going to need that bucket...

No_M: Be my guest *passes Fluttershy the bucket*

Fluttershy: Thanks. (barfs)

Fancy Pants and Fleur had just managed to clean themselves off when the rebels burst into their bedroom and captured them.

Fleur shed a tear as she fondly reminisced on their last night together.

The crowd cheered as the bloodied blade was raised high. The groundskeeper’s face went pale as Fancy Pants’ headless corpse was cast aside to make room for the next victim.

twow:Round two, motherbitches!

“And so passes Fancy Pants,” Blueblood muttered to himself, “He brought a measure of class to the libertine lifestyle which I could never hope to achieve.”

Blueblood stared at Fleur as she was slowly led to the chopping block by Trixie’s lanky lieutenant. Fleur tried to keep her composure in spite of having just witnessed her lover’s execution.

twow: I had to watch way too many of my friends die. Get over it.

Fluttershy: Besides, aren’t you about to join him?

“Such a colossal waste,” Blueblood muttered to himself, “To strike down a mare as skilled at fornication as Fleur is inexcusable. And they have the gall to call us monsters.”

All: EEYUP.

As Fleur was marched to her doom, she saw Fancy Pants’ semen staining the stage. Pausing for a moment, she knelt down and began zealously lapping up her lover’s last dick discharge.

“Mustn’t waste a drop,” Fleur said, as she sobbed between licks, “Fancy Pants always did need me to clean up after him.”

No_M:You’re gross.

Fluttershy: Didn’t we know that before?

twow: I see no harm in reiterating it.

“Quit stalling, you shameless whore,” Trixie said with disgust.

By the time the lanky lieutenant forced Fleur’s neck onto the chopping block, she had already filled her mouth with Fancy Pants’ semen. Tears were streaming down her jizz-filled cheeks.

Fluttershy: She looked like a chipmunk.

twow: She won’t be joining Alvin and the gang.

In a similar fashion, a sledgehammer was used to break off her horn, but unlike Fancy Pants, Fleur didn’t shout in pain at her disfigurement. She was used to masochism, so this pain was merely a new experiment in exquisite agony.

twow: That’s your fucking HORN! I don’t care how much of a masochist you are, that shit is going to HURT.

“Mmm!” She moaned as a silvery liquid oozed from her horn hole and dripped down the bridge of her snout. Her mouth remained closed; still filled with Fancy Pants’ salty semen.

The blade was released; severing Fleur’s neck as she inhaled through her nose. Her head landed in the basket on top of Fancy Pants’ face. Their eyes were glassy and their mouths hung slightly open.

Fluttershy: “Say ahh! Oh wait, you can’t.”

 Celestia and Luna watched as the cum in Fleur’s mouth oozed past her lips into Fancy Pants’ open mouth.

“Now there’s something you don’t see everyday,” Celestia said, impressed, “Decapitated post-mortem snowballing.”

No_M: *whimpers* It’s just a story. None of this happened. This is just a fiction.

twow: (hugging Nocturnal) We’re almost done.

Fluttershy: Urge to hurt something rising...

“Fleur was always so sophisticated and refined at our private orgies,” Luna said, as she shook her head sadly, “Her contributions will be sorely missed.”

Blueblood had nothing to add. He stared at the guillotine, which was now slick from the blood of his friends. He wondered who would be next to die. Trixie approached Blueblood; blocking his view of the blade.

twow: Guys! He’s next to die!

Fluttershy: I think I need a nap. I’m happythat he’s going to die.

“While your conspirators met their fate with madam guillotine, this form of execution is too kind for the likes of you.”

No_M: The guillotine is too kind for them? What kind of sadistic punishment do you have for the royals dear Trixie?

twow: As long as they bleed.

Trixie said, “The atrocities of your fellow libertines pale in comparison to the corrupt cruelty you and your aunts have unleashed.”

“Spare me your theatrics you conniving cunt,” Blueblood said quietly, with a sneer, “You may have the common plebeians fooled, but I know your heart. We’re more alike than you’d care to admit. I sense within your heart a desire for power and the will to seize it.”

Fluttershy: Maybe, but she doesn’t wanna rape and slaughter ponies.

Trixie’s eye twitched, which made Blueblood’s mouth curl into a sly smile.

“Silence!” Trixie said as she stepped defiantly towards Blueblood, “Your words are as poisonous as your soul. The libertine reign of terror ends here.”

“It is the destiny of the weak to be devoured by the strong,” Blueblood said, “Your fight to remain in ignorance has gained you a fleeting victory, but it will not last.”

twow: Really? Please, do tell. I will make sure to kill whoever tries to follow in your footsteps.

“You prey upon gentleness, meekness and kindness,” Trixie said, while gesturing to the groundskeeper, “You detect these positive traits in others and assume that they are weakness, but you’re wrong. You think that if somepony is softer than silk, you can dominate them for your own pleasure!”

The groundskeeper’s heart was beating fast. She felt empowered by Trixie’s charismatic words.

Fluttershy: She can be quite the motivator.

twow: A good skill to have in this situation.

“You have no power and no courage,” Trixie said to Blueblood, “The ponies you view as weak possess a strength you’ll never know. Silk is soft, but it can be deadly when wrapped tight around your neck.”

Trixie then pulled a silken cloth from beneath her traveler’s cloak. At first Blueblood thought she meant to strangle him. Blueblood had heard about erotic asphyxiation, and was intrigued to see how a good strangulation could enhance his orgasm.

twow: Do you not understand that you’re going to DIE?

Trixie had other plans, however.

“As punishment for their numerous crimes against ponykind, death is too good for them,” Trixie said, “These libertines sold their souls to prolong their lives. It would be a shame to deprive them of what they value above all else.”

Fluttershy: So, they’re not gonna kill them?

twow: Letting them live in the dungeons is too kind.

“What are you going to do to us?” Celestia said, with a measure of unease.

“There are punishments far worse than death,” Trixie said, “Your bodies shall be turned as cold and hard as your hearts. You shall live for all eternity encased in stone. Your bodies shall remain forever immobilized as your empire is reformed. You shall be conscious of the world around you, but unable to experience it.”

No_M: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

twow: How does that feel,BITCH?!

Fluttershy: That’s...perfect.

For the first time ever, Blueblood, Celestia and Luna were filled with genuine terror. A death sentence would’ve been a bitter pill to swallow, but the thought of an eternity trapped in a stony prison was unbearable.

Fluttershy: A fate worse than death.

twow: And they don’t get to scream.

Trixie set the cloth flat on the stage. Using her special brand of conjuring magic, Trixie caused a small birdcage to materialize beneath the silk cloth.

“Eons of your debaucherous rule has slowly corrupted our world,” Trixie said, “It’s time we redeemed it.”

twow: “Time to take out the trash.”

Fluttershy: With nature!

Trixie removed the silken cloth, revealing a young cockatrice in the birdcage. The chicken and snake hybrid opened its eyes and stared at the libertines. Trixie and her lieutenants used their magic to keep Blueblood and his aunts facing forward.

twow: Nope.You aren’t getting out of this one.

Those in the audience had been watching the proceedings with rapt attention. When the cockatrice was revealed, however, all who were present averted their eyes. Or, in the case of the groundskeeper, held her eyes shut tight.

Fluttershy: It’s funny, because it wouldn’t work on me.

twow: We’ve seen that in action.

The libertines’ heads were immobilized and their eyes were forced open. They had no chance of escaping the stony stare of the cockatrice. In that moment, they felt a small measure of the fear they had inflicted upon their victims.

“Stop it!” Blueblood shouted, “Stop it, please! I beg you!”

twow: Remember when just about ALL of your victims asked for that? Did you grant it? No?

Fluttershy: You’re not getting any mercy from me.

“Kill us all!” Luna screamed, as she struggled futilely against Trixie’s powerful magical hold, “Death would be preferred instead of a hellish life encased in stone!”

“What’s all this talk of death?” Trixie said, “Surely devout libertines such as yourselves would much prefer to live?”

No_M: AHAHAH, YOU’RE FUCKING BONED. Or I guess in this case, stoned.

twow:I guess they’re gonna be in a stony silence.

There was a small measure of vindictive pleasure in Trixie’s remarks which gave her a moment of pause. She took a deep breath and put her emotions in check before continuing. She promised herself that she would not stoop to the libertines’ level by taking pleasure from the misery of another.

“It’s not fair!” Celestia yelled, “It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”

No_M:Oh shut your whore mouth you stupid bitch.

twow: Aloe, Lotus, Lyra and Bon Bon. THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

“This is for your own good,” Trixie said, “You’ll have to live with your guilt for a while. A thousand years, at least.”

Fluttershy:And we’re gonna keep filles FAR away from you.

The ground beneath the libertines’ hooves began to rumble as their hind legs turned to stone. They struggled to move, but their entire bodies were rapidly becoming stiff.

The groundskeeper breathed a sigh of relief as she watched the libertines transform into living statues. Blueblood and the royal sisters could never harm her or anypony else ever again. She had survived.

twow: Granted, she’s been though a bit, but I guess so.

Fluttershy:They put wax. Up my bottom.

As his torso became encased in a layer of rock, Blueblood realized he was almost out of time. He used his last moments to say farewell to his wife.

“Wait for me, my virgin bride,” Blueblood said, as he did what he could to delay the effects of the cockatrice’s stare, “We’ll have our honeymoon once I escape this stony prison.”

No_M: NO.

Trixie’s brow furrowed suspiciously as she looked at Blueblood’s wife. The groundskeepers eyes went wide with fear as she felt all eyes on her. The crowd began to murmur amongst themselves. Blueblood smiled devilishly. Even in his final moments, his powers of manipulation were unparalleled. Celestia and Luna quickly caught on and added their own commentary.

Fluttershy: ...Okay. I quit.

twow: BS, tell me you didn’t.

“Did you honestly think she was an innocent?” Luna said to the crowd as the stony shell crept up her neck. The groundskeeper hid her face behind her mane and tried to run, but her path was blocked from every direction.

No_M: NO.

“She’s not their victim?” Trixie thought, “Has Trixie been deceived?”

“It was her overzealousness that crushed those two mares in the wine vat,” Celestia said with a mirthless laugh, “Our nephew trained his bride to be as cruel as he ever was.” The groundskeeper shook her head as she tried to deny the libertines’ accusations.

Fluttershy:I had a bad thought that me being mute was gonna be bad.

“Keep my dream alive, darling!” Blueblood said. A smug smile graced his lips as his head became encased in stone. The cockatrice had done its job. Blueblood and his two aunts stood frozen solid and thoroughly immobile.

twow: You won’t be missed. Enjoy your living hell.

After draping the silk cloth over the birdcage, Trixie caused the cockatrice to dissipate. Blueblood was still sporting his erection; only now he had no way to alleviate his condition. He would remained trapped with the worst case of blueballs on record.

twow: It felt like taking WAY too much Viagra.

In spite of overthrowing the royal family, there were no cheers from the crowd. Instead, an uncomfortable silence hung in the air as all eyes were on the bride of Prince Blueblood.

Fluttershy: “Nothing to see here!”

twow: “Look at the pretty statues!”

The groundskeeper’s eyes darted around nervously as her breath came out in short pants. After a minute, the awkward silence was broken.

“Murderer!” a mare in the crowd cried, “Death to the bride of Blueblood!”

twow: (stares at the screen)

Fluttershy: twow?

twow: (starts laughing, the pitch growing deeper)

Fluttershy: (frightened) twow?!

The groundskeeper shook her head and cried, which caused her bell to jingle spastically. She tried to convey that Blueblood and his aunts were lying, but the crowd had already turned against her.

Fluttershy: Nocturnal, can I sit next to you for a while?

No_M: You didn’t even have to ask.

Fluttershy: (moves next to Nocturnal, keeping an eye on twow) Thanks...I’m worried now.

Blueblood’s bride tried to run, but the stallions on either side of her pushed her onto the stage. Her knees were shaking as she shook her head and cried. She wasn’t a libertine, but she had no means of convincing the angry mob of her innocence.

twow: The fucking BELL?! No, fuck that. CAN YOU NOT SEE HER FUCKING FACE YOU DIPSHITS!?!

Trixie reflected on the words of Prince Blueblood. She looked at the silver bell which pierced the groundskeeper’s tongue. Trixie then noticed the melted wax and genital piercing before shaking her head with disapproval. With a bitter sigh, Trixie reflected on the extreme lengths which libertines were willing to disfigure their bodies for the sake of titillation.

Fluttershy: ...I’m gonna die.

twow: ...

Trixie used her aura to pull a miniature crossbow from under her cloak. The bride of Blueblood was sobbing, with tears running down her cheeks. She kept thinking in her head that she was innocent.

twow: Nocturnal, Fluttershy, I’m about to freak the fuck out. I only ask for a hug when it’s over.

Fluttershy: I’m sure that’d be fine.

She wished more than anything to be able to say something in her defense, but she couldn’t form the words.

Without an ounce of hesitation, Trixie fired an arrow into the groundskeeper’s head. The pointed tip of the shaft penetrated her skull and lodged in her brain. The bell of paradise jingled as her lifeless body slumped on the stage.

No_M: I can only say, at least it was quick, and at least she didn’t face the same fate as the libertines.

Trixie looked pitiably at the groundskeeper’s corpse. Blood was trickling from the wound in her forehead as her vacant eyes became cold and glassy. Trixie turned to face the crowd as she stood triumphantly over the body.

twow: NOT ONE OF THEM COULD LIVE, HUH?! FUCK THIS STORY!! BURN IN THE DARKEST PIT OF MY HELL! (breaks down crying)

Fluttershy: I think he’s going to need that hug now.

No_M: Agreed.

(All three friends share a long hug)

“The bride of Blueblood sealed her fate when she lusted after the perverted prince,” Trixie said, “Anypony who sympathizes with the libertine scourge shall be put to death!”

twow: (agitated) “And to hell with actually investigating!”

Blueblood’s assassin Night Shade pulled the hood of his cloak further down over his face, before disappearing into the crowd.

Fluttershy: Oh yeah. He exists.

Trixie stepped over the body of the groundskeeper as she approached the crowd.

“The rule of the royal sisters is at an end,” Trixie said, triumphantly, “A new day has dawned for Equestria. Join Trixie in welcoming a time of peace and prosperity!”

twow: (agitated) “We will celebrate with a huge orgy!” (starts crying again)

Fluttershy: Shh...

“Hear hear!” the crowd cheered.

The End

No_M: THANK FUCKING CHRIST. LET’S GET OUT OF HERE.

Fluttershy: Please. PLEASE. SWEET PRINCESS.

twow: After all this, I can finally say this. Flutters, Nocturnal, it’s time to get the fuckout of here.

Pinkie: (from TV) YOU DID IT!

twow: (head in hands) I can’t believe it’s finally over...

Fluttershy: (holding twow) I’m proud of you, you know that?

Blueblood: (from TV) Well. I’m shocked that you actually succeeded.

Fluttershy: (angry) Be quiet!

twow: (quietly) How are you faring, Nocturnal?

No_M: Well. I’m in one piece. And I’m so proud of you too twow.

twow: (quietly) Really now...

Fluttershy: Why shouldn’t we be?

No_M: You did it. You finished this piece of shit story.

Pinkie: And you didn’t lose your mind!

twow: Heh. Sure felt like it from time to time.

Fluttershy: It doesn’t matter if you almost did. You did it, even though the odds were never for you.

twow: Yeah. Thanks guys.

(Suddenly, a door is heard opening on the other side of the TV.)

???: Goddammit, Pinkie, NO ONE murdered this fucker?

Pinkie: I think we were giving twow that privilege.

twow: Fallen? That you?

Fallen Prime: (violently shoves Blueblood offscreen) Yeah, it’s me.

No_M: !!! Bran Flakes!

Fallen: Love you too... but yeah, this whole Blueblood thing is finally done?

twow: We finally finished chapter ten, so yeah.

Fluttershy: ...TENchapters of stuff like that?! That’s what he went through, am I right?

Fallen: At last count, yeah. The last time I ran into this fuckstick over here was chapter nine. How are your kneecaps, by the way?

Blueblood: Better, no thanks to you.

Fallen: (pulls a shotgun from behind his back) Don’t get snippy with me.

twow: ...Guys. Thanks. Just...thank you.

Fallen: ...what? Oh, you’re welcome or whatever.

twow: (smiling) That’s Fallen...

Fluttershy: Pinkie Pie, can you please open the doors?

Pinkie: Of course! Here ya go!

(The lab doors unlock and open)

twow: Oh my God, is that actual air? It’s wonderful. Fallen, are you going to stay over there?

Fallen: Probably. Pinkie LOVES spending time with me, and I don’t mind obliging her. Plus, SOMEONE’S gotta keep Blueballs busy so you can come have your brutal way with him.

Blueblood: Wait, wha-

twow: Sounds good. Flutters, Nocturnal, you two can head over there. I need to grab a few things and I’ll meet you there.

Fluttershy: You’re gonna be fine?

twow: I’m about to have some much deserved revenge. Of course!

No_M: Can I shoot the TV before I leave?

twow: ...I guess? I was gonna throw it into a black hole. Shooting it’s good too. You three, we’ll be right over.

Fallen: Sounds like a plan. Pinkie, help me tie him down.

Pinkie: Ooh, who knew catharsis could be SO MUCH FUN?

twow: (smiling) The floor’s yours Nocturnal. Let’s head out.

No_M: Hell yes.

Fallen: Oh, by the way, when are you ever gonna finish “Fluttershy’s Week-lo-”

(No_M pulls rongeur-gun from her back pocket and shoots the TV multiple times, turning into a pile of dust.)

To everyone that actively read this long as hell series of riffs, thanks for all of the support.  So much. Using words, there’s no way that I can really tell you how helpful it was to have all of the support.

dudewah470:

Atlas: Can this fic just end already?

Big Mac masturbates with razor blades

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Avery the Mare Murderer

Alrighty, it’s time for another random one!

I loaded up Skype and as the chat was refreshing, I saw my name mentioned and a link underneath it. I also saw the word “riff”. Curious, I decided to click on it. And got this.

Avery the Mare Murdereris a one-shot that is virtually nothing but an author’s wet dream of killing my favorite pony. And what makes matters even better? After I left a comment saying that I was gonna riff this, (mostly a joke) he fucking DARED me.

Big mistake.

And now I bring to you, Avery the Mare Murderer.

twow: Finally, it’s done!

Fluttershy: What is that again?

twow: It’s an emotion cannon. It’s designed to amplify certain emotions.

Fluttershy: Oh, that’s nice. What is it on right now?

twow: Give me a second...

Pinkie: (from TV) HI T!!!

twow: AHH!

(The cannon goes off and shoots Fluttershy in the face as the lab doors shut and lock)

twow: Flutters!

Fluttershy: (shaking her head) Uh, I’m alright. What happened?

twow: You, kinda got shot...you feel alright?

Fluttershy: Of course! You know, I kinda feel like a riff!

twow: What the fuck...oh crap.

Pinkie: What’s wrong T?

twow: The cannon was set to “brave”...and something else...

Pinkie: That’s great! I got a story called “Avery the Mare Murderer!”

Fluttershy: Sounds like fun. And I get to spend it with this handsome human.

twow: ...I think I know what the other setting was. Oh god.

*BUZZ*

twow and Fluttershy: We’ve got story sign!

        Fluttershy was asleep in her bed as happily as a mare could be. She was dreaming of pony gumdrops and Angel being nice to her and whole bunch of garbage no one cares about.

twow: Or stuff that’s believable.

Fluttershy: What do you mean?

twow: It’ll be a cold day in hell before that bunny stops being a jerk.

 The room she was sleeping in was very dark and not much could be seen.

Fluttershy: As opposed to being filled with light.

 Only the light of the moon was brightening the room up barely. From the shadow of the dark came a lavender maned Stallion who had a green body and a cutie mark that resembled the very embodiment of death witch was incomprehensible to the minds of any being.

twow: Just like that sentence was incomprehensible.

Fluttershy: So, his cutie mark is a broom?

 His name was Avery and he was going to kill Fluttershy tonight.

twow: Eh. At least he’s honest.

 Avery snuck up behind her bed and  tip toe'd like the a snivy snake intent on its prey. He pulled out a bottle and a napkin and dabbed the substance all over the cloth. Fluttershy shifted in her bed to feel the bed springs curiously move about in her mattress.

Fluttershy: “I knew I paid too much for that SleepNumber mattress!”

This movement made a soft spring noise that reverberated from the bed. This simple movement from the cushion to cushion spiked interest to snuggle with his prey just for the hell of it.

twow: If I was in his position, I probably would have done the same.

Fluttershy: (drawing closer to twow) Oh really?

twow: (blushing) I think that effect needs to wear off now...

 Avery crawled up into the mattress and slid into the blanket putting his lavender arms all over Fluttershy and curiously she felt happy that someone had touched and began to speak in her dreams.

Fluttershy: I’d love to know what spell got cast on him to give him arms.

twow: I bet anything Lyra’s got a hoof in this.

        "Oh you naughty, naughty, work horse, you came all the way to greet me from Apple acres... Ohhh thats nice wrap your whole body around me." Said Fluttershy in a dream empowered stupor.

twow: “Just like a snake.” Okay, that was weird.

Fluttershy: I liked it.

twow: Oh hell. Side effect fucked with your brain.

        Avery could only giggle at the words that were ushered between Fluttershy and the non-work pony that was caressing her. Avery stole the chance to have a bit of fun with this mare and slid his member right into her cooch.

twow: Damn. Somepony was loose. (smacked by Fluttershy)

Fluttershy: I wouldn’t be like that! I’d wait for the right pony or...

twow: Don’t finish that.

 This made Fluttershy moan fiercely and she began to pull up and down on Avery's penis. Avery enjoyed this mares caressing and picked up pace on the sexing.

twow: “Damn! I only have 180 characters!”

        "Oh! Big Mac! Please, please me!" yelled the yellow mare in between breaths of horny moaning.

Fluttershy: As long as I didn’t stab myself with my moaning.

twow: I’m still focused on the “please me” bit.

        Avery grinned a childish and insane smile that would scare any filly that would dare look upon his deranged face. His snortle nearly awoke Fluttershy only to be reassured by her constant calling for Big Mac's dick.

twow: Da FUCK is a snortle?!

Fluttershy: It’s a mix between a turtle and a pig.

twow: So, it’s nature gone SO wrong.

        Must be a heavy sleeper! That makes this all more fun.

twow: You do realize you’re talking about the pony that will leap thirty feet into the air at a TWIG BREAKING, right?

        Avery picked up pace and placed himself on top of Fluttershy while she weakly put her hoofs on his chest to help him swing in and out with his member. He breathed heavily but, carefully made sure not to make to much noise to wake her.

Fluttershy: He limited himself to panting.

 Then Avery felt his member throb and he finally ejaculated into the yellow horses vaginal sac. It pretty much filled her up entirely.

twow: I didn’t expect anything different from these stories.

Fluttershy: I doubt he had enough to do it. Now, maybe if it was someone like you...

twow: FLUTTERSHY!

        "Thank you Big Mac it's as if this is all a dream or something but, it feels so weird." said the Yellow pegasus about to awaken from her deep slumber.

twow: Well, no shit!

Fluttershy then opened her eyes and found a lavender maned, green bodied, stallion on top of her and she could feel the wet heat inside and she looked up to the monstrous face of terror that was smiling at her.

Fluttershy: Awww, Terror looks so CUTE!

twow: He was taking lessons from Horror.

        "Hi there, I think you are mistaking me for another pony, a Big Mac perhaps?" said Avery to the newly awakened horse.

        Without a second notice right after her face turned into that from pleasure to terror and she screamed on the top of her lungs, she kicked Avery from her bed on to the floor.

twow: Hell of a buck.

Fluttershy: AJ taught me. I do know other kinds...

twow: (rummaging though desks) Cure...cure...gotta be a cure...

 Avery got back up and tackled Fluttershy midway from her exiting her bed. He pinned her down to the floor and applied the cloth on to her face. She began slowly with her eyes agape to close them again and stop shaking around in furious rebellion to the unknown assailant.

twow: “You shake your body to the left, you shake it to the right...”

Fluttershy: “You do the Pony Pokey, and shake it all around...”

 Her hoof slowly fell to the ground as she lost all consciousness and power to her body. Now that the yellow pony was out of commission, Avery grabbed the pony and trotted outside where all the dead animals where including Angel that were cut to pieces.

twow: So, he killed them BEFORE he snuggled next to Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: How did he even FIND them all?

Avery set up the noose on some random tree and began to tie Fluttershy up on the tree itself by the neck. Avery put down the dead pony on the tree branch and jumped down to the floor and looked at his handy work of dead animals.

Fluttershy: “He decided to host a bonfire.”

twow: Damn Flutters.

Fluttershy: I’ve been learning from the best. (snuggles next to twow)

twow: (blushes and mumbles to self)

He turned around and kicked the tree causing Fluttershy to stumble over and awake from her slumber to feel her neck slowly break as the noose choked her to death. Her body flared around and her legs frantically shook as she could barely breath and the last of the fight inside her slowly died out.

twow: You were unconscious. Correct me, but wouldn’t you have stayed unconscious until you died?

Fluttershy: Not if the plot wanted me awake!

 As a last ditch effort Fluttershy flared her wings and flew only to be dragged backed down from the force of the noose and to finally breath her last breath.

twow: I’ve been having trouble with being able to breath as well.

Fluttershy: You really got to work those lungs.

        "Kkkkkuecqh!!" said the Yellow Pony now as she died by hanging.

twow: What animal did you eviscerate to produce THAT noise?! (smacked by Fluttershy)

        Fluttershy with one last final movement shat all over the ground immense amount of shit. Seeing another opportunity to enjoy himself, Avery trotted to the falling poop and allowed it to spread all over his body as it collectively collected all over him. He was basicly bathing himself in Fluttershy's dinner.

Fluttershy: He SHOULD have done that for my breakfast. I had hay!

 Feeling the corrosive madness filling up his mind, Avery began to dance in Fluttershy's Poop Rain.

twow: Chocolate Rain, 3.0.

After the immense amount of collective shit fell down on Avery's face, Fluttershy closed her eyes and went to sleep for all eternity. Seeing an end to his parade Avery climbed up on the tree and pulled Fluttershy down from the noose. She hit the floor like the corpse she was.

twow: Because as we all know, she wasn’t alive.

Fluttershy: I’m glad I’m here now...with you.

twow: ...Flutters, that’s really creepy.

        Hmm.. I think I will take her home. She was one of my more interesting kills.

        Avery put Fluttershy on his back and sneaked into his home in Ponyville and made sure that no one would notice him on the way. That night he stuffed Fluttershy up turning her into a decoration for his entertainment and sexual release.

twow: So he’d get the same pleasure as if he was fucking a stuffed animal.

 He was about to go to bed when suddenly an idea popped up in his deranged brain.

        I think this Fluttershy would like to pay a visit to her love.

Fluttershy: Silly story! I’m already with him!

twow: Pinkie!!!!

        Big Mac was slumbering in his bed and awoke to find himself quite tired. Never the less, Big Mac had chores to do and he had to get up and do them.

twow: He has quite the drive.

Fluttershy: It’s not easy waking up tired, twow.

 He opened his closet to find the stuffed body of Fluttershy crammed in there. He screamed like a little girl.

twow: “Apple Bloom! I’ve got a present for you!”

The End.

Fluttershy: And nothing of value was lost.

twow: Nice one. And we’re done here.

Fluttershy: (batting her eyelashes) Are we?

twow: YES.

Pinkie: (from TV) Sooooo, how was it?

twow: Pretty unsurprising. It’s rather obvious that it’s a trollfic.

Fluttershy: Either that or one that wasn’t meant to be taken very seriously.

twow: It was written for shock, and wasn’t done well. Not much to say.

Pinkie: Well, you’re free to go then!

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

twow: ...Flutters? You’re usually gone by now.

Fluttershy: I...kinda wanna just stay with you.

twow: Damn it. Emotion cannon didn’t wear off yet.

Pinkie: Remember what you said when you were creating it T?

twow: And that was?

Pinkie: You have to be careful, because there IS no cure!

twow: Ah hell.

Fluttershy: I’m kinda tired. Wanna take a nap?

twow: Ah! Pinkie!

Pinkie: You two have fun!

twow: PINKIE PIE!!!

(Pinkie pushes the button and the TV turns off with a blip.)

The Melancholy Death of Apple Bloom

Have you read “a fun day?” Don’t. It’s fucking awful. The premise is the Mane 6 torturing and murdering Scootaloo for no fucking reason. Fallen Prime riffed it and that was really the only way I would have ever read it.

Well, we got us a sequel. It’s not as graphic as the first story, but that doesn’t stop it from sucking ass.

And I’m pulling in a friend for this one. Simon O’ Sullivan has just started his own riffing career and I’d recommend checking some of his riffs out sometime.

Welp, let’s begin shall we? This is The Melancholy Death of Apple Bloom.

twow: Alrighty, this will be tough...

Derpy: You created a safe that can only be locked by your spit. How hard can this be?

twow: It’s not the safest thing to use a dwarf star for powering a entertainment system.

Derpy: Is this gonna blow the house up?

twow: Course not. I mean, as long as it doesn’t melt down...

Pinkie (from TV) What happens if it melts down T?

twow: The entire floor will be covered in lava.

Derpy: O_O

twow: Yeah. Don’t worry, it’s stable for now.

Pinkie: (holding up a small hammer) What’s this do?

twow: That summons the TAR-how the fuck did you get that?!

Pinkie: I don’t know! Let’s see if it works!

twow: Pinkie, wait!

(A humming noise begins in the lab, a blue police box materializing in the lab.)

twow: Well, at least it still works.

Derpy: Doctor?

(The door opens to reveal the Doctor and Simon O’ Sullivan)

twow: Simon! It’s great to see you!

Simon: (waves his axe) Twow! Damn, I’m glad to see you too!

Derpy: (dashing forward and tackling the Doctor) Oh, it’s great to see you! It’s been so long!

Simon: (smirks) Now that’s a welcoming greeting.

twow: Well, it has been a bit of time. How’ve you been holding up, Doctor?

Doctor: Well, I’ve been a bit busy joining this human here and a Scandineighvian stallion. Something twisted reality in such a way that some of those fics Fallen and you torture yourselves and other ponies with become living atrocities. We travel in the TARDIS trying to take them down. Aside from that, pretty nicely, thanks.

twow: Huh. Sounds interesting.

Pinkie: Um, about that...

twow: Oh god.

(A banging comes from the lab doors.)

Pinkie: I might of accidentally sorta created one of those.

Derpy: You did WHAT.

Simon: (hits shield with axe) Twow, Derpy, pick whatever weapon you can get. Doctor, what does the TARDIS say about it?

Doctor: Its name is “The Melancholy Death of Apple Bloom.”

Simon: ... another blow to my love for the Apple Family.

twow: Wonderful. Well, let’s take this shit out. (pulls out space/time sword) Derpy...

Derpy: (cocks muffin gun)

twow: I’m just gonna let you have that one.

Simon: Show no mercy for that thing; it won’t be that generous with any of you.

twow: I believe it.

(With those words said, the lab doors burst open)

Doctor: Allons-y!

Simon: Onward!

twow and Derpy: We’ve got story sign!

The Melancholy Death of Apple Bloom

twow: Well, at least the title’s honest.

Simon: That won’t make me hate this less.

     “I…I just don’t get it Sis…how did Scootaloo just disappear? Why would she leave us?” Apple Bloom lamented as she carried another basket of her family’s eponymous fruit into the barn.

twow: She had to go to Mordor.

     “Now remember what I told you Apple Bloom, shut up and let your sister relax,” Applejack admonished, “and don’t worry about yer little friend, I’m sure she’s fine…it’s not like she got exactly what she deserved or anything…” the mare had to suppress a small smile.

Derpy: Even though she didn’t.

twow: Shh, this is OOC Applejack, she doesn’t know any better.

Simon: Depending on the story, sometimes the names are mispelled, and I can gullibly think that she’s a different character. This isn’t the case, and I hate them for it.

     “But you’ve been drinkin’ all day Sis, and my back is starting to hurt again! You promised you’d help with chores for once!”

twow: I wanna know who did them before AB in this universe.

Simon: I remember those baskets. They didn’t look THAT heavy to me.

     “I will, just as soons as I finish this mug o’ cider,”

     “But you said that eight mugs ago!”

Derpy: Seems legit.

Simon: Apparently drunk Applejack speaks without her usual accent. Then again, unless Apple Bloom’s drunk too, I’m calling laziness from the author.

     “Now sugar cube, what happens when Apple Bloom doesn’t shut her mouth and do as she’s told?”

Simon: I was going to say she’s sent to the corner of mean fillies to think about what

she’s done, but even I am not that optimistic anymore.

twow: I lost my optimism at  “Momma Fluttershy”

 “Apple Bloom gets a beatin’,” the filly sighed, looking down dejectedly.

twow: “But it’s okay, because those turn me on.” (smacked by Derpy)

     “Exactly!” Her sister declared emphatically.

Simon: I think she heard you, twow. And apparently approves.

twow: That’s a disturbing thought.

“I guess there is somethin’ in that misshapen little skull of yours.”

     “My head’s funny lookin?”

Simon: Makes the best jokes and innuendos. It’s the soul of every party!

 “Eeyup!” said Big Macintosh as he joined his sisters, sitting down next to Applejack, bottle of apple whiskey in hoof, giving her a wink. Just the other day Rarity had coached them in the art of working insults into every day conversation.

Doctor: I didn’t know Rarity was like that.

Simon: I picture that as a way of saying obscure insults that they won’t get. Then

again, if they don’t get offended, if basically kills the purpose of insulting them.

twow: Story of my high school life.

     “It’s quite easy you see,” she’d explained as they sipped their drinks, lounging in the unicorn’s boutique, “just watch. Ahem. SWEETIE BELLE! GET YOUR HIDEOUS FACE IN HERE AND BRING ME ANOTHER SCOTCH!”

Simon: I expected Rarity to ask for something more... upper class.

Doctor: A Martini, maybe?

Derpy: Margarita.

twow: ...Wut.

     Applejack was hoping that if she made her sister hate herself enough she’d hang herself before her overworked body gave out and had to be disposed of. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to put a load of buckshot in the little filly’s face, it was simply a question of effort…if the kid killed herself then that would be that.

twow: Because that’ll provide less questions as to her death.

Doctor: I’m sure that people don’t just shrug at suicides that easily. I would’ve flipped

the bird to humanity if they did.

twow: At this point, I’m surprised you haven’t.

 If she suddenly disappeared a lot of awkward explanations would be required. Unlike Scootaloo, some ponies actually gave a fuck about Apple Bloom.

Derpy: There’s one thing that’s actually normal.

Simon: By the way they speak, it’s like not even Sweetie Belle cared for Scoots.

     “Applejack…I’m startin’ to get a little sore!” the filly’s words betrayed excruciating pain, but she was as much a stubborn ass as her sister and would never let on that she was on the verge of collapsing. A.J. hoped this wouldn’t be the day that…

twow: She lost her virginity. (smacked by Derpy)

Doctor: I’ll be damn if those baskets aren’t made of lead or the like.

CRACK

Simon: Drug party!

     Apple Bloom’s little leg snapped like a twig. Consarinit, thought Applejack, It had to be today…

Doctor: Dislocated? Totally possible. But this?

Simon: My axe wouldn’t be able to do that. Not that I would even think about doing

that, though.

 “Um…oh no little sis are you okay?” A.J. wasn’t a very good actor. Big Mac wasn’t even trying, laughing hysterically as his sister writhed in pain.

twow: Well, at least he’s not failing to act.

Derpy: He’s just failing to be a decent specimen of a pony.

     “I think my leg’s busted!” Apple Bloom said through clenched teeth. Great. It had finally happened.

twow: Bitch, you’ve been working her ass off! What the fuck did you THINK was gonna happen?!

Simon: First she doesn’t want it to happen today, and now she’s totally fine with it? Make up your mind!

     “Welp,” Big Macintosh said, “I’ll go get the shotg…”

     “You mean the camera?” A.J. cut him off loudly, “yeah go get the camera Big Mac, and make sure it’s loaded.” She leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Dammit, she ain’t as stupid as she looks!”

Derpy: Then she caught what Big Mac was saying.

Simon: I’m having flashbacks of “The Emperor’s New Groove.”

     “Why a camera?” Apple Bloom’s pain was now muddled with confusion, “I need a doctor!”

Simon: Not you.

Doctor: Of course not. I’m THE Doctor.

Derpy: (hugging the Doctor) And MY Doctor.

     “Er…um…of course, but first we gotta take your picture. Gotta have a picture of your first horrible accident…yup…it’s uh…an Apple family tradition!”

twow: Sense. This makes so much.

Simon: If that’s true, I want to see the rest of the family’s. It must be great to lose

your appetite. And will to live.

   “Urgh…I didn’t know about that one…” the filly grunted, trying to stand. She managed to get up on three feet and hobble over to her sister.

     “I’ve got the camera,” Big Mac said upon his return, “Er…we only had one roll of film so we have to make sure we get it right on the first shot, If you catch my drift.”

Doctor: I’m assuming that this shotgun is crafted in a way that can be used by ponies.

Still, I’m surprised that Apple Bloom has no idea what a shotgun is, much less if they

have on at home.

Simon: I’ve heard of girls who were tricked into believing that jizz could be used for skin hydration.

twow: And that piss is natural lemonade.

“Alright, well, why don’t we go and find a nice pretty spot in the woods…” A.J. picked Apple Bloom up by the scruff of her neck and the three inbreds headed off toward the forest.

twow: This will end wonderfully.

Simon: I thought that Sweet Apple Acres was far away enough from everything to

shoot her and nopony would notice.

     “I think right here’s good enough…” Big Macintosh looked toward his sister. She nodded in assent and dropped Apple Bloom.

Doctor: Well, at least they didn’t force her to walk her way there with the shattered

leg.

Simon: Yeah, I think the author doesn’t hate Apple Bloom as much as Scootaloo.

Derpy: Doesn’t change the fact that he still hates them.

Simon: Oh, I have a friend who wrote a Cupcakes sequel starring his favorite

character, stating that only he, who loves her, could make her justice.

 They had made their way far enough into the trees that nopony would hear the gunshot. The little pony grunted as she hit the ground.

Simon: Considering that the closest to a ranged weapon I’ve used is a bow, I can’t talk

with experience, but I think a shot can be heard from QUITE far away.

twow: I think Fallen and I can both attest to the fact that it can.

     “C…can we j…just get this over with? I think I should go to the hospital.”

Doctor: She has a shattered leg and she only THINKS she should go to the hospital?

Simon: She’s a tough lass. On the other end of the spectrum, my little sister refuses to

go to high school on very rainy days.

     “Sure thing kid. Big Mac, could ya hand me the camera?”

twow: That isn’t a Kodak.

     “Nope, not yet, there’s something I gotta do first!” The stallion approached his younger sibling, who was now shuddering from shock and pain, but A.J. stopped him with a hoof to the chest.

     “Oh no you randy jackass, this has to look like an accident,” she hissed.

twow: How in the FUCK are you gonna do that?!

     “How’s a gunshot to the head gonna look like an accident,” Big Mac whispered.

Derpy: He’s got the idea.

Simon: With VERY good aim from quite far away. But shotguns aren’t known for their

legendary accuracy.

     “I was just gonna say we were a’huntin’ and I mistook her for a wild boar.”

Simon: Oh, Drakkar would be VERY pissed if he were here.

Doctor: Hunting? That doesn’t make sense. They don’t-

Simon: They have a shotgun. You don’t mess with ponies with shotguns.

     “At point blank range?” Big Mac facehoofed, “that’s the worst cover story I ever heard…”

     “Well in any case you ain’t rapin’ her. Now gimme the gun,” Applejack Muttered.

Derpy: Ya just HAD to bring up that subject.

Simon: That would save them the trouble of shooting her. After that, I’m sure she’d pull

the trigger herself.

     “That’s a b…big c…camera,”

Simon: Because with the appropriately twisted mind, everything can be interpreted as a reference to reproductive organs. (smacked by Derpy) Totally worth it.

Doctor: I knew we traveled among males only for a reason.

twow: I deal with this shit ALL the time. Your wife has a mean backhoof.

Apple Bloom remarked as her brother handed the shotgun to her sister, a hint of confusion flashing across her already contorted face.

     “SAY CHEESE!”

     “Ch…CHEESE!”

twow: “Chocola!”

     Two things happened at once. Applejack experienced what was probably the most violent drunken hiccup of her life,

Simon: I’ve been drunk and I’ve never have hiccups problems.

 and the gun discharged.

Simon: (Snorts noisily)

Doctor: Sometimes you’re too childish for your own good.

The shot was completely off. Apple Bloom squealed as the buckshot grazed the side of her skull, taking off one of her soft little ears. She fell to the ground, clutching her head and screaming in agony.

Derpy: She’s gonna have quite the earache.

Doctor: “My ear hurts!”

Simon: BANG!

Doctor: “AIEEEEEEEEEE!”

Simon: “Does your ear hurt anymore?”

Doctor: “No! Now my face hurts!”

Simon: “Your ear doesn’t hurt anymore! You’re cured! That’ll be five grands, please.”

     “CONSARNIT! And we ain’t got another cartridge, do we?” A.J. stomped a hoof in frustration.

     “Nope.”

twow: “All I got is this thick piece of meat.” (curb-stomped by Derpy)

Simon: If Bronystories is to be trusted, that’s a lethal weapon like any other.

Doctor: I pity the poor stallion. No mare would date him if they read all those

stories about his monstrously endowed virility.

twow: Unless they wanna be split apart. Hey Derpy- (smacked by Derpy and the Doctor)

     “Alright, now I gotta think…I hate doin’ that…” The cowpony stroked her chin, face screwed up, trying to get the neurons firing in her tiny redneck brain. Suddenly, she had an idea. “Hey Mac, you got your whiskey on ya?” A.J. had to raise her voice over the sound of her younger sister’s wailing.

twow: (busts up laughing)

Simon: Ah, yes, racism and stereotypes. Comedy’s Easy Mode. Yet you can’t live

without them.

     “Eeyup”

     “Give it here…”

twow: “Nnope!”

Derpy: “It’s all mine! MINE!!”

     Big Macintosh opened his saddle bag and pulled out the jug of apple whiskey and offered it to Applejack. She uncorked it and emptied the contents onto Apple Bloom. She screamed louder when the alcohol seeped into her gunshot wound.

Simon: At least she’ll die without infected wounds.

     “Now hold on just one second,” Big Mac said angrily, “I thought you needed to do some thinkin’ drinkin’! What’re you playin’ at? That stuff’s hard to make you know!”

Doctor: You can also buy it, you know?

     “Got a match?” Applejack grinned.

     “Oooooooh,” her brother finally comprehended the plan of action. He produced from his bag a pack of cigarettes and a book of matches. He lit a smoke and then tossed the still burning match onto the booze-soaked filly, who erupted into flames.

Simon: I wonder if it’s really that easy. I mean, you just empty a bottle of booze over a

dude and throw a match and him and BAM, instant combustion?

twow: Seems legit.

Doctor: Thousands of dollars spent in fuel and modern technological stuff when you can kill a man with less than a couple bucks worth of stuff.

     “Big Macintosh!” A.J. Punched him in the shoulder, ignoring her flaming sister’s screams, “I thought you quit!”

Simon: Wait, Big Macintosh quit smoking?

Doctor: Big Macintosh STARTED smoking?

Simon: I picture him as the John Wayne of the ponies. Making smoking popular and all.

     “HELP ME OH CELESTIA MAKE THE HURT STOP!” Apple Bloom howled.

Simon: I didn’t expect Apple Bloom to say anything aside from “AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”

     “Nope”

     “HELP ME A.J. PLEASE!”

Doctor: She set you on fire, kid! I admire your loyalty, but she’s not going to help you!

     “Well, ya should quit, I get to worryin’ about yer health sometimes…”

twow: Yup. Ignore the pony burning alive in front of you.

Derpy: I’m surprised they didn’t start roasting marshmallows.

     Suddenly Apple Bloom got up and darted off toward Ponyville, pain and adrenaline allowing the burning filly to ignore her broken leg.

     “Aww son of a bitch,” said Applejack.

Derpy: But she’s a pony and a female.

twow: Don’t question it. You’ll retain control of your brain.

     Bon Bon and Lyra were sitting on their favorite bench on the edge of town, engaged in a platonic conversation that had nothing to do with humans or sitting posture. They were interrupted by a steadily growing noise.

     “…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”

Simon: (singing) O-H-M-Y-G-O-D-I-M-O-N-F-I-R-E

twow: Where’s Mario with FLUDD at a time like this?

     The blazing foal went streaking past them.

     “See? PERFECT example!” Lyra said.

Doctor: Okay, NOW I want to know what they were talking about.

Simon: Maybe about how, if you’re pregnant and you drink alcohol while sunbathing,

you could give birth fo foals on fire.

Doctor: ... I... well, it’s the best we have.

Derpy: Are you insane?!

     Apple Bloom had almost made it to the fountain in Ponyville square before she finally expired, her scorched lungs giving out.

twow: Damn, she’s a strong little filly.

Simon: She died like in those silly cartoons; inches away from her goal.

     “…so you see,” Applejack explained to the sheriff, “the little punk was makin’ drugs right under our noses, that’s how the explosion happened. We tried to save her but we just didn’t make it in time…”

Derpy: “I had no idea we had all the materials for her to do it.”

Simon: So much for the Element of Honesty.

Doctor: Wait, why are they in Appleoosa now?

twow: The Reason.

     “Kids these days!” The sheriff huffed. “Well, thank you Miss Applejack. I’ll be sending some officers over to Sweet Apple Acres to investigate. We can’t have this sort of thing catching on in our little town.”

twow: “Now excuse me, I need to smoke a joint.”

     “Sure thing!” Applejack grinned nervously. After the Sheriff left she took off running toward home.

     “Where ya goin’ in such a hurry sis?” Big Macintosh ran after her.

     “Shit I gotta go blow up my meth lab before the cops get there!”

twow: And I’m done understanding logic.

Derpy: Can..we go now? Is it dead?

Simon: Looks like so.

Doctor: We’re done here.

twow: Well, that was quite the experience.

Simon: Yeah, small ones aren’t that much of a problem. Now, huge ones... those are

tricky.

Doctor: How was Pinkie able to create one, though?

twow: I have a lot of shit in here I’ve never tested.

Pinkie (from TV) I was looking for a story and I shot the TV with this weird star stick.

twow: So THAT’S where my reanimating wand went.

Derpy: I’m just glad you were here. (squeezing the Doctor)

Doctor: Don’t ever doubt it.

Simon: Well, this was something indeed. This one wasn’t that troublesome anyways.

Doctor: Yup, we finished sooner than usual.

Simon: It’s not fair for Drakkar to pick him up so early. And I think Derpy wants you to

stay here a bit longer.

Derpy: YES.

twow: I don’t think he has a choice.

Simon: Well, this is her house and she doesn’t know me enough, so I guess I’ll get in

the TARDIS to not disturb.

twow: I live here as well Simon. You can stay with me while they go UPSTAIRS and have their private time.

Simon: Sounds good, then. Maybe while they’re on it we can clean this mess.

Doctor: Considering how long I’ve been away, you’ll have spare time to do that and not

only play, but FINISH a Monopoly game.

Simon: Those are some pretty high stakes, Doctor.

twow: But not impossible.

Derpy: (dragging the Doctor) Come on! Dinky will want to see you!

Simon (stares at the closing door) Well, looks like I’ll stay here until tomorrow at the

earliest, then.

twow: It’ll be fine. I’ll show you my transmogrifier.

Pinkie: You two have fun!

(Pinkie pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

one for you

So have you ever ran across an author that just made you wanna smack them in the face really hard? I have. Today, in fact.

Today’s story is called one for youand what clued me in is when my friends and I saw that he was deleting comments like all heck. Not only that, he was being a complete asshole to myself and my friends, so this riff was threatened if he didn’t stop. He didn’t, as you can tell.

I’m excited to tear this shit up, so without anymore delay, one for you.

Pinkie: Pleeeeeeeease T?

twow: No Pinkie. It’s not ready yet.

Pinkie: Aww, come on!

twow: If I gave you the Party Cannon 2.0. right now, it might turn half of Equestria into a party room.

Pinkie: That would be GREAT!

twow: I think that the princesses would have a slight problem with that.

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Just a slight one?

twow: Yep. That, and it would be rather chaotic.

Discord: In that case, I could get down with that.

twow: MOTHERFUCKER!

Pinkie: Oh! Hello Discord! What are you doing here?

Discord: Someone mentioned my last name. And besides, I haven’t got to know this human yet.

twow: Yeah...My name’s twow.

Discord: Charmed.

twow: I’m sure. Now could you please leave before...

(The lab doors slam shut and lock.)

twow: ...that happened.

Pinkie: Dashie, what gives?

Dash: I WAS just gonna prank you and twow, but this is so much better!

twow: Great. What’s the story?

Dash: It’s called “one for you” and involves Discord sending a random human to Ponyville where he becomes friends with Pinkie.

twow: One of those, huh?

Pinkie: Alright! This is gonna be fun!

Discord: Sounds rather chaotic. I’m in!

twow: I hate my life right now.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

                Another night slipped away under the obsidian sky of the darkened field, fireflies tried to light the ground ablaze with their dazzling lights; such a beautiful display of passion and enthusiasm.

Discord: What.

twow: Oh we’re in trouble now.

 The shone light with the majestic colors of green and yellow, as the bits of light scampered in and out; displaying their joy in a wondrous manner.

Pinkie: The light’s really good at that!

twow: Hopefully they have lessons.

 The grace of the lights and the breeze made the night last almost forever before changing once more to a different scene in life’s play.  The boy thought to himself, ‘Wow, if only It was like this.’

twow: What boy?

Discord: The boy that was there the whole time.

twow: Story sucked at explaining THAT one.

                    The sound of a car horn blasted the wonderful dream into a pile of crushed hopes and imaginary creations.  In front of him, an old beaten up Volkswagen buggy; the black paint tried to reflect light, but only held onto the rays, dulling its appearance.

Pinkie: “Hey! Gimme back my rays!”

twow: “Don’t make me bust a prism in your ass!”

  He started to gaze into the black paint of the automobile, and started to see the true face that it hid underneath. Alexander started to talk to himself as the contentiousness faded like the hearts of many, “So dark and so beautiful.  Only if I could feel it’s face for myself.”

twow: He...really wants that car.

Discord: Sexually?

Pinkie: Maybe!

twow: I swear I’m gonna have to riff that someday.

            Alexander’s friend struck his head, “Hey its green, c'mon bro, remember to stay focused.”

            Alex shook his head, “Oh sorry.  I was just thinking about some stuff.”

Pinkie: “I was just thinking about the face of that car.”

twow: “Wonder if it’s good with blowjobs.” (smacked by Pinkie)

            “Geez, you need to let loose sometimes, maybe this will cheer you up.”

            Alex sagged his head, “Please let’s not do this again Steven.  Last time you got hurt.”

Discord: Doing what?

twow: Staring at that car. He almost needed glasses because of it.

            Steven put his hands behind his head, “And it was my fault for underestimating you.  So what do you say?  Just let loose!  It’s not like it is going to kill you.”

twow: Foreshadowing at its worst.

            Alexander pulled into the driveway of a modest looking house, the walls were a beautiful shade for sea green, “Okay here you are, now don’t call me when you have to leave, I’m not going to pick you up.  You hear?”

            He stepped out of the car, “Ya, I know.  I’ll see you on Monday.”

Discord: “Not Tuesday. Not Wednesday.”

Pinkie: “MONDAY.”

            Alexander meant to pull out of the driveway and head back to the dorms, but was distracted by the wonderful color of the wall.  It took his breath away and spat it out in the form of a stigma.  He just waited patiently for the colors to stop.

twow: That’s one hell of a wall.

Pinkie: It’s the wall that I stared at with all of my clones!

  Only to find they would live forever in the endless plains.  While he wait in the dazed state oh his mind, a voice crept into his very ear.  A faint whisper, a dying plea, the voice of Lucifer himself.

Discord: That’s quite flattering.

twow: How do you think that’s you?

Discord: Can you prove otherwise?

twow: ...

            The voice what smoothly flowing, as if it was rehearsed, “Welcome my dear friend, aren’t you glad that you are the most depressed one of your kind?”

Pinkie: That wasn’t very nice!

twow: Or accurate.

            Alex sat in place and stared blankly, “No, I’m not.  I hate this, just as much as I hate you.”

            The voice called out once more, “au contraire  my little pawn, we haven’t meet before, im -”

            Alex slammed his fist against the window, fragmenting the glass, “I know who you are, and I want you out.  Go back to the hell hole you came from.”

twow: Has...he heard this voice before?

Discord: Only in his nightmares.

            The voice was displeased with his rage, but intrigued, “I am Discord, as my name reveals I am chaos and disharmony.  I was sent here to find the most depressed one of your species.”

twow: And you picked this guy. Okay.

            Alex looked behind himself, only to see nothing, “I am not going with you.  Or any shit like that!  Just get out my head already!”

            “Oh naive human, I'm not in your head.  I’m in the dimensional plains between my realm and your realm.  For if I entered your world it would damage the time space continuum into a never ending cycle that will repeat itself, until somepony finds the gap and stops it.”

Pinkie: Or you could use the moon gates!

twow: They better not be purple.

            “Wow, that is something.”

            “I’m just kidding kid, I just made that up.  Well it is time to go, nobody will miss you here, so it is okay.”

twow: Wow. Discord, you’re being quite the dick here.

Discord: This isn’t me. Chaotic I am, but I am never rude.

            “I already told you, I’m no-,” before he could finish his words a hole in the air ripped open and engulfed his existence, making him fall into the rifts of space and enter the world of colors.

twow: There was so much green.

Pinkie: And pink.

Discord: And rainbow.

twow: And I think we need a break.

twow: Well, how are we holding up?

Pinkie: I don’t understand what’s going on at all!

twow: Not surprised. Neither am I. Discord?

Discord: I...am rather displeased with this.

twow: You? Do tell.

Discord: This isn’t how I act at all. Not even I can enter a completely different dimension and pluck a human from there.

twow: Not to mention out of ALL the people on Earth, this ONE kid is the most depressed.

Pinkie: It really seems like the author couldn’t keep every part of his story together.

twow: It REALLY seems like he slammed his face on the keyboard until he looked at the screen and was all like, “It’s good!”

Discord: Wouldn’t it have sounded like, “its gud?”

twow: ...I think we might get along.

Pinkie: It’s actually really funny when you think about it.

twow: I guess.

Pinkie: Has he asked for any help with writing?

twow: Him asking for help would be like Fallen not being an ass to me. And we BOTH know that’s not gonna happen.

Discord: Or like Steel NOT getting pelted with bricks.

twow: Wait, are YOU the one throwing bricks at him?

Discord: I plead the Fifth.

twow: We’re not on Earth. And, would that even apply to you?

Discord: Well...

Pinkie: Story time Dashie!

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

The vortex spat him out into a world filled with bright colored animals, and colorful plants.  On the floor he lie in a daze as a group of horses surrounded him and started to stare intently.

twow: It’s Mr. Tense Change!

Pinkie: I need to get my welcome wagon!

  He still wore his clothes, but they were altered.  Skrillex became DJ Pon-3, and his black pants were the brightest shade of pink.

twow: BLUH.

Pinkie: I feel your pain T.

Discord: I don’t, and am glad about that.

  Two bright and colorful creatures approached him one with purple, straight hair and pink highlights, and the other with curly solid pink hair and tail.  She was bouncing incredibly fast and high for any normal animal.  Or any animal he had seen on earth, who knows maybe they are on drugs or something.

twow: No, that’s just Pinkie Pie.

Discord: At times, she frightens ME.

“Hey crazy voice guy you there?  Why are these animals around me?”

The pink horse got close to  Alexander’s face and it was breathing hard, the smell of sweets and sugar entered his nostrils, “Do you want to be my friend?!  I’m friends with every pony in Equestria, and you are no exception.  So you want to be my friend?!

Pinkie: “HUH DO YA DO YA HUH?!?!!”

twow: Pinkie! I’m getting whiplash from just looking at you!

” pinkie was standing over his midsection and pressing her pointy snout against his face.

Alex was scared of the creepy position, “Ummm, I’m sorry, but I can’t.  I’m not the one to be friendly… Can you get off of me already!!!”

Discord: Don’t forget the point that I crossed the dimensional barrier just to find him.

twow: That might be on the test.

The purple horse approached him  and started to drag her off him.  “Pinkie we talked about this already!  Not until we see what he, I assume its a he, is capable of, he may be just as dangerous as you.  Or worse!”

twow: NOONE  is as dangerous as Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie: Awww, thanks T!

twow: You are welcome.

Alexander got off the floor and started to examine the two talking horses,  one was kind of cute with blue eyes, and the other had a very proper haircut.  Out of her mane came a short horn shaped thing.  He wanted to touch it, but he assumed she would not appreciate it.

twow: Seeing as how she doesn’t know you, no. She wouldn’t.

  “So what are you horses going to do to me?  I would prefer to go home already.”

Pinkie pie started to walk up to his face, being a little too tall, she was looking up quite a lot, “Silly we aren’t horses, we’re ponies!”  Twilight grabbed pinkie once more and dragged her from the premises.

Discord: Do either of you think that you are all a little too comfortable with this?

twow: I do.

Pinkie: Me too!

Discord: So I’m not the only one.

The purple pony rushed back to the new specimen.  “Hello, as you can already tell, we are in Ponyville, may i ask you to fill this sheet?”  The pony took a sheet of paper and a pen from the little dragon assistant, “Thank you, Spike.”

twow: He came out of nowhere.

Pinkie: He came from hammerspace!

twow: How do you...never mind.

‘So a dragon named Spike?  Wow, Even I could have done better.’

twow: And that’s when Spike smacked the bitch out of him.

  The clipboard and the pen got placed into his hands, nothing too hard, just simple information  Like gender, race, education, and description of species.  Simple stuff for a human to answer, it must have been hell to write this.

Discord: I’m not surprised that she would have something like that.

twow: Duh. She’s TWILIGHT.

 On the back was a long paragraph of text, and a rather large box marked with, “I agree,” at the end.  Being smart , he skipped the box of text and marked the box that read, “i agree”.  He gave it to Spike, “Hehe, you’re not too cute.  I think I’m going to like you, Spike.”

All: WHOA THERE.

twow: Someone just showed his true colors.

Spike just stared back at him, “Well that is one way to start a friendship.  Okay, Twilight will meet with you in a little while.  Right now I am going to run some tests on you.”

“What kind of tests?  If it has anything to do with a needle and my blood, i will burn this settlement to the ground.”

Discord: Could I just drop a flaming cloud on it?

twow: ...you can do that?

Discord: Hello! God of CHAOS!

“Well that has already happened, about a week ago, long story.  But no, i am going to see how you react in certain…social environments.  Well I guess we should get you acquainted with the participants, and your temporary rooms.”

Pinkie: He gets more than one room!

twow: For 25 cents extra.

Alex was confused still, “Um okay, so what are you to that creepy purple pony?”

twow: “She’s my bitch.” (smacked by Pinkie)

Spike looked at him in disbelief, “Oh, her,  well she is like a mother to me.  She doesn’t tell me the story a lot so I don’t know much.  She hatched me and she raised me.  Other than that, I work for her as her apprentice, and her assistant.  Come on ,the mares are waiting for you.”

Pinkie: Why wouldn’t she tell Spike about his beginnings?

twow: Humans.

Discord: Or...the rea-

twow: Don’t say that while you’re in here!

“Umm-,” he was once more confused, “what’s a mare?”

Pinkie: What.

twow: “What’s a paladin?”

Spike sighed, “Just come you’ll find out soon enough.”  Spike took his hand into his claw and started to drag him through the crowd to a small tent.

twow: Dude! Keep it in your pants!

Inside the tent where 5 different mares.

Discord: Where were they?

twow and Pinkie: EVERYWHERE!

  One orange with a blonde mane, one blue with some radical rainbow hair and wings, another with wings but yellow and pink mane hiding in the back, Pinkie Pie, and another horned pony with a white coat and a purple mane.  They all were waiting in a line before the new creature;  all except the yellow pony, she was hiding behind Spike.

twow: Well, ya got that kinda right.

Discord: Was it necessary to point out that Fluttershy was hiding twice?

Pinkie: Yup!

Every pony, except for the yellow mare said at the same time, “Welcome.”

Spike escorted the yellow pony out of the tent and she scattered, “Okay, this is how we are going to run the test.  You, alexander, are going to select one of the 5 mares, and live with that pony for a minimal of 3 days, if they would like, they may extend it to a week.

twow: Why?

Pinkie: We got bored?

 Then we repeat the same process until we have all the data we need, so at the max 5 or 6 weeks of living with these lovely mares.  Ok now that you know what you are to do, pick one, and she will get you started off on the project.”

twow: No really. WHY?

Discord: I really have no idea.

Pinkie: Can we panic now?

“oh-, I get to choice?  Are there any restrictions?”  Not like he would go that far.

twow: Then why did you ask?

Spike looked at him funny, “Only the limits they  give you at that given time.  We are only recording you, not them.  For the most part at least.”

“Oh okay, I guess I could start off with-” a loud thunderous sound echoed throughout Ponyville.

Pinkie: Somepony just got struck by thunder!

twow: For the second time.

Every pony fell to their bottoms and alex tumbled forward.  Taping his head against Pinkie Pie’s hoof.  He was slightly embarrassed and got onto his knees trying to escape the strange situation.  From outside entered a gray pony with golden hair.

twow and Pinkie: Derpy!

Discord: She seems like she’d be good for chaos.

  She was scorched from the neck down, and walked up to the rainbow haired one.  Falling onto her back, shocking her with the leftover static.  “Dark clouds aren’t good for sleeping.  Can you take me to the hospital?”

twow: If you made it there, you probably wouldn’t even need to go.

Discord: Didn’t Twilight get a piano dropped on her? From Derpy?

twow: Yup. She didn’t go to the hospital either.

Pinkie: And Dashie and Derpy have been shocked lots of times!

twow: We just figured out that this story never had logic.

She replied, “Okay, i'll get you there.  Sorry Spike, I need to go.”  She took of leaving a rainbow coloured trail behind her which disappeared.

After that a young child entered the room, she had white fur  and purple and pink hair, but her bottom was blank unlike her mothers.  “Hey Rarity, mom is coming over for the week.  We have to pick her up.”

Discord: Convenient filly is convenient.

“Okay Sweetie Belle, lets go.  Sorry Spikey wikey, family matters.  Bye every pony.  See you soon.”

            Spike waved to rarity as he blushed slightly, “Well looks like you only have two choices.  Who shall it be?”

twow: You have three choices. Pinkie, Applejack, and Fluttershy.

Pinkie: Spike needs to go back to school!

            Al started to think, ‘Lets see, she‘s clearly a ball of excitement.  And she is always smiling.  Can’t be anything too intense,’ “Okay, I have decided, I would like,-”pinkie lunged herself at alex’s chest.

twow and Discord: (busts up laughing)

Pinkie: What’s so funny?

twow: You? Not intense? That’s funny as hell!

            “I’m so glad you picked me, we are going to have such a fun time together.  Just you and me and a lot of fun stuff.”  Pinkie pie got close to his ear, and whispered “A lot of fun.”

Pinkie: We could bake cupcakes!

twow: I’m down with that.

         I felt really bad letting her down, “I'm sorry but I was going to choice the orange one.  I promise I'll have as much fun as I can with you, during and after this ordeal.  I'm sorry.”  A tear rolled down his face, and land onto her straight hair.

Discord: I must have messed with that tear.

twow: Should have summoned the chocolate rain.

            “Its okay, as long as we will be friends.”  Pinkie let go of his body and left the tent.

            “Well that was a bit sad... Applejack can you take it from here?  I’m going to help pinkie, bye.”

twow: What does SHE need help with?

Pinkie: Those cupcakes silly!

            Applejack spoke up, “See ya little fella.  Help her good, ya hear?”

            “Will do.  Now hold up your end.”

            Applejack tried to grab his wrist, but couldn’t, “Okay, follow me deary.  It is a bit far, but worth it.”

                    “Um okay, I guess.”

Dash: (from TV) Not over yet guys. Got a little bit left.

twow: How long?

Dash: 23 words.

twow: WHAT TH-

way to gop assholes this fic is over.

if i get offened im  going to do something.    hate the internet and when  try my best i still fail.  so fuk this shit, i tiered of it.Pinkie: Wha-twow: The author had a bitch fit. Don’t worry about it.Discord: We’re done? twow: Yup.

twow: Ugh, that was not fun.

Discord: I’d say that was too chaotic for me, but I just couldn’t really understand.

Pinkie: And it wasn’t supposed to be random, it was supposed to actually have a story!

twow: SUPPOSED. I’m going to refer back to my “slam head on keyboard” theory.

Discord: It’s funny, because I was going to think about something like that.

twow: You make no sense Discord.

Discord: I do my best.

Pinkie: You know twow. I know someone who could talk about this!

twow: If you say Derpy, I’m going to throw sharp objects at you.

Pinkie: Course not. It’s Primey!

twow: Now I’m just gonna throw a shotgun at you.

Pinkie: As long as it’s the one made out of Skittles!

twow: How did you even know about that...

(Pinkie connects to Skype on the console, and Fallen Prime picks up on the other end.)

Fallen Prime: (from TV) Oh hey, Pinkie Pie! Nice to hear from you! Hey, I needed to talk you about how goddamn creepy your Skype picturelooks and - oh. twow.

twow: Hey there Fallen. What’s new with you?

Fallen: Well, I’m just bracing myself for riffs to come. RingmasterJ5 foreshadowed something a while back that I know I’m gonna dread, and it can’t be too far off. What’s going on on your end?

twow: Pinkie, Discord and I just suffered through one of octavia’s stories.

Pinkie: You should have been here Primey! It was fun!

Fallen: Wait. As in octavia1997?

twow: That’s the guy.

Fallen: Oh. Dear. GOD. that guy is one of the densest motherfuckers alive. Even when he SAYS he wants constructive criticism, he shrugs off everything he gets and never strives to improve with the feedback. And that’s just excluding the concrit he misconstrues as personal attacks!

twow: Sounds like a nice guy. I’ve dealt with him as well. Fun times. What are your future plans Fallen?

Fallen: Well, right now I’m living in fear of either Twilight making me continue “Pinkie Pie’s Secret Ingredient” or Ring making me riff... “Living the Dream.”

twow: (winces)

Discord: I’ve heard of that one.

Pinkie: Should I give Ring the idea Primey?

Fallen: You wouldn’t DARE. YOU WOULDN’T FUCKING DARE.

twow: I’m just gonna be happy that I’m not going to have to witness that.

Fallen: You’d better be really fucking happy that LTD is a thing that you will never have to properly experience in your lifetime.

Pinkie: Hmmmmmm...

twow: I don’t like that face. That’s the thinking face.

Fallen: DO. NOT. EVEN. DARE.

Pinkie: FINE. Maybe.

Discord: As fun as this is, I’m afraid I’m going to head back to the Everfree now.

twow: Good idea. Dash, hit the button before Pinkie starts thinking about making someone suffer though LTD with Fallen.

Dash: (from TV) Alright twow. Have fun.

twow: I try.

(Dash hits the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Dinky Abuse

You’re probably thinking that I’m riffing this because I hate it, or because it has Dinky, or something like that. And I’d say that you’re right but....you’re not. I just really wanted to riff with grown-up Dinky.

So I searched around and remembered this one. Perfect story for the two of us to take out, don’t ya think?

So because I suck with intros, here’s Dinky Abuse.

twow: Come on Dinky, this is serious. What all do you remember?

Dinky: I told you twow! Spike and I came and said hi, and then we left!

twow: Are you SURE?

Dinky: Yup!

twow: (sighs) Alright I guess. Go on back upst-

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

twow: ...or stay down here while I yell at Pinkie.

Pinkie: (from TV) Aww, why would you do that?

twow: Pinkie, is this a riff?

Pinkie: Of cou-oh. Oops.

twow: Yeah. Figured out your mistake now, didn’t ya?

Pinkie: Guess I better let her out. Sorry T!

twow: It’s fine Pinkie. Make it snappy! (snaps fingers)

Dinky: I wonder what the rif-(sparks fly from her horn)

twow: Uh, Dinky?

(Dinky’s horn flashes and covers her with light, leaving a teenaged mare in her place)

Dinky: Ugh. What the...

twow: Oh damn. That age gun had worse of an effect then I thought.

Dinky: What are you talking about?

twow: Your younger self doesn’t remember your older self, and vice versa.

Dinky: Huh. Last thing I rememberd was being in here.

twow: My point exactly. Good thing ponies can’t snap their hooves...

Pinkie: Hi grown up Dinky! Wanna riff something with T?

twow: She do-

Dinky: Why not?

twow: Damn it. What is it Pinkie?

Pinkie: It’s called “Dinky Abuse!”

twow: You hate me, don’t you?

Pinkie: Just the opposite! Have fun!

*BUZZ*

twow and Dinky: We’ve got story sign!

                YAY!!! Even more Dinky abuse!

Dinky: So, this has happened before?

twow: No idea. I’ve never read this guy’s stories.

 In this story it doesn’t matter how the fuck I got into Equestria, how the fuck I get away with this shit, or even why the hell Dinky is home alone in the first place.

twow: Because heaven forbid we have a actual STORY.

 All that matters is that loveable, baby unicorn getting raped, abused, tortured, and murdered by me. So, without further adieu, let’s get started shall we? Ahem....

        I was walking around outside on this cold, rainy night for one reason, and one reason only, to "Play" with that beautiful, baby, unicorn filly I had spent so much time watching.

Dinky: Not liking his tone.

twow: He’s gonna play “Hide and Seek.”

 Now, it seemed, I had the perfect opportunity to fulfill my dark desires while her mother was away for some reason I don't give a shit about.

twow: Prolly doing the mail.

Dinky: This late?

twow: Have you SEEN your mom on a bad day?

Dinky: Well, that’s true.

I was a typical male, average height, medium length, black hair, wearing a red tee shirt, camouflaged back pack, blue jeans, black tennis shoes, and black sunglasses, a black handkerchief around my face, concealing it and a silver necklace with an amulet in the shape of a pentagram.

twow: He’s a human red-and-black pony. Ew.

 Anyway, I approached her house from the rear, (Thank god, it was next to a forest.) and from my back pack, I pulled out a lock pick.

        I crept up to the back door and slid the lock pick into place, being extra careful to hold it steady, so it didn't break. After fumbling with it for a few seconds I heard a satisfying click, signaling my success.

Dinky: Why in the fuck does he even HAVE lockpicks?

twow: The reason? (brained by Dinky)

 I put the lock pick into my blue jeans pocket and snuck inside, being sure to keep low to avoid detection. A lightning strike out side lit up the dark room and I saw I was in a kitchen. I ducked behind a white table and peered out into the living room.

twow: Some of these details seem...

Dinky: Not really needed?

twow: Let’s go with that.

        The living room had brown, shag carpeting, and white paint on the walls. The walls had a border going around the top and bottom that had a green background, with blueberry muffins dancing around along it. Against the wall was a big, soft, white sofa with 2 muffin shaped pillows on it.

Dinky: Huh.

twow: Not really how it really looks, huh?

Dinky: You live here. Why are you asking that?

 Across from the sofa was a normal sized plasma screen T.V. tuned to a filly's cartoon channel. And in front of the T.V. watching intently, was my ultimate prize, Dinky Hooves, the light purple unicorn filly. She looked so beautiful, sitting in front of the T.V. eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

twow: Pssh. Vanilla is better.

        A sick, sadistic smile crept onto my face and my mouth started to water, I had to hold myself back so I didn't charge right in, I had to be careful. I looked back around and saw, to my frustration, an adult mare sitting on the sofa. She was a light, almost mint green unicorn, with a short green mane and tail and a lyre cutie mark.

twow: Oh Hai Lyra!

Dinky: She’s gonna die, isn’t she?

twow: What clued you into that?

Dinky: The title.

         I thought about adding her to my little "play time" but decided against it, she was an unnecessary risk, getting in the way of my goal.

Dinky: Called it.

twow: Oh hush.

 I quietly unzipped my back pack and pulled out a small box. I opened the box and pulled out an unloaded Colt M1911, a silencer, and a magazine, containing about five shots. I never really expected to use it, but I was glad I decided to bring it along, makes things simpler.

twow: Really? A fucking pistol?

Dinky: I know right? He shoulda brought a shotgun!

        I quickly and quietly assembled the gun and slid the clip into place. I cocked it, took aim at the green mare's head, gave a quiet chuckle, and gently pulled the trigger. Only moments later the bullet made contact with its target, cleanly striking her in the temple and going out the other. The mare's blood and bits of brain splashed up against the wall, just as Dinky turned around.

twow: I don’t know, shotgun might have been overkill.

Dinky: Eh.

        "Mrs.Lyra? Mrs.Lyra? What’s wrong? Please answer me. I'm scared." Dinky said to the corpse, being too young to understand the art of murder.

Dinky: I’m pretty sure I’d know what blood is!

twow: And the fact that it’s everywhere.

 I clicked the safety on and started to walk calmly into the living room with a horrible smile on my face. Dinky just saw me and said "Mister please! You have to help me! Something is wrong with Mrs.Lyra!" I just started laughing and kicked Dinky in the chest, sending her flying across the room, into the wall.

twow: “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!” (punted by Dinky)

        With a thud she impacted and started crying and shouting "Why mister? Why? I've never done anything to you!" I walked up to her and laughed as I started to unzip my pants, pulling my dick out.

Dinky: “Mister, there’s nothing there!”

twow: Oh god, I’m proud of you.

I chuckled as Dinky tried to run away, screaming I might add, but only to be backed into a corner where all she could do was cower in fear.

        "I love it when they fight back!" I said and then I reached down and grabbed her. The little filly started to squirm and struggle but was too weak to do anything to stop me. I carried her over to the couch, pushed the dead body out of the way, sat down, and positioned the screaming filly above my dick.

twow: “Dive! Dive! Dive!”

 I slowly lowered her waist down to it, but she ended up kicking me in the stomach. I just laughed and punched her across the face, knocking out a tooth.

        “Stop squirming you fucking whore! If you kick me again I will fucking kill you! Slowly!" I yelled at her, she stopped fighting and I lowered her down to my dick and slid it into her.

Dinky: He slid it in that easily?

twow: Huh. I’m surprised he didn’t detail how much it took.

 I came across an obstruction so I decided to burst her hymn slowly, making her feel every last bit of the delightful pain. She screamed in agony as my dick busted through her hymn, sending blood dribbling out of her vagina.

Dinky: His dick tore through my song?

twow: It’s the little things that keep ya going.

 I took one of my fingers and used it to scoop up some of the blood, which I then brought up to Dinky's face and said "Lick it!" at first she started whimpering and shook her head no, but I just shouted "DO IT OR I WILL FUCKING MELT YOUR FACE OFF WITH A MOTHER FUCKING LIGHTER!

twow: Because THAT’S logical.

Dinky: Dumbass.

" she just nodded and wrapped her tongue around my finger, and began to suck on it.

Dinky: “And then bit it off, causing him immense pain.”

twow: Would you really...

Dinky: YES.

         I was sitting down, so I was using her as one would use a flesh light, manually gliding her across my dick. Her young pussy was so tight that it felt like it was mildly constricting my penis, but, it felt so good I felt the all to familiar sensation of a pressure building up in my dick.

twow: “I’d only ever felt this when I masterbated.”

 I Thrusted a little harder, hearing Dinky let out a whiny Humph! Every time my waist impacted hers. And then, right before I came I pulled out , brought her face down to my dick, held open one of her eyes, and blew a thick stream of semen into her young, filly right eye.

twow and Dinky: Aw, FUCK!

twow: Okay, it’s official. This guy is not human.

        I laughed hysterically when she started to bawl from the sheer pain and agony. The sound of her agony filled screams started to arouse me again and my dick became erect once more.

        "What’s wrong? Is the whittle filly saddy waddy?" I said in a mocking tone,

Dinky: “Does da wittle human wanna die?”

 I set her crumpled form upon the coach and walked over to the bowl of ice cream she was eating earlier. I then walked back over to her, grabbed her, and began to have sweet, sensual sex with her as I had one only moments ago, only this time was different, this time I was plowing hr young ass.

twow: Then what was the point of getting the ice cream?

Dinky: His sweet tooth started to act up.

        Her screams became twice as loud as my large member eviscerated her anal passage. I watched as blood, and a small amount of feces started to drip out of her rectum.

twow: Well, that’s nasty.

Dinky: What the hell, did I have diarrhea?!

 Just what I wanted, once my dick was fully covered in her shit and blood I poured the now melted ice cream onto my raging boner and said "Would the whittle baby wike a whittle snaky waky?" in the same mocking tone as before.

twow: Can I stab him?

Dinky: Get to the back of the line.

        She shook her head no as vigorously as she could, but I didn't care, I lowered her head towards my shit/chocolate/blood covered dick and said "If you bite, I will ass rape you again."

twow and Dinky: BITE IT! BITE IT!

Dinky nodded and I said "Good girl!" as I forced my dick into her mouth. I heard her choke and gag as my putrid cock entered her mouth, but by now she knew better than to throw up or spit my cock out. I glided her young, filly throat across my erect penis and told her to use her tongue.

Dinky: As opposed to her using her nose.

twow: Hai “Blueblood” flashbacks.

        She made an MmHm sound and I felt her start desperately licking my dick head with her tongue. It felt so good I soon felt the familiar pre orgasm pressure in my dick and I pulled out, held her other eye (The one I hadn't jizzed in.) and released my load into her good, left eye.

twow: Not even laser surgery is gonna fix THAT one.

Dinky: I’ll just get glasses.

        I laughed as she fell to the floor crying in pain, and for good measure, I kicked her in the side, not hard enough to break her ribs, but only to bruise her. I set my back pack out to get the materials for the next part of play time, seeing as to how I had to wrap things up before her mom came home. So I pulled up my pants, and retrieved my "Toys".

twow: Crayon, building blocks, a toy flashlight, five sheets of white paper and a rubber chicken.

        Out of my bag I pulled out a piece of red chalk, five candles, a roll of duct tape, a cigarette lighter, a blow torch, a silver knife, a jar of goat's blood, a rather large silver chalice, a small jar of gasoline, a silver platter, and a silver fork and dinner knife.

Dinky: You suck at guessing games.

twow: Bluh.

        I looked to make sure that Dinky was still there, and she was, her crumpled, broken form looked so cute lying battered and beaten on the floor.

twow: Where in the FUCK was she gonna go?!

Dinky: And did you forget the part when you reamed me raw and jizzed in BOTH my eyes?!

 Anyway, I drew a pentagram on the floor, and put a candle at each point on it. I lit the candles with the lighter and tossed it aside. I then walked over to Dinky, picked her up, and carried her over to the pentagram and taped her down to it, with her legs spread wide open.

twow: Heh. Don’t even have to say it this time.

Dinky: The hell is with the pentagram.

twow: Apparently he’s sacrificing you to Satan. Oh joy.

I then took a small orange out of my back pack and started to insert it into her anus. Dinky squealed in agony as the acidic fruit was being forced into her already bleeding rectum.

Dinky: Would that even fit?

twow: Don’t look at me.

        After the orange was squeezed up inside her ass, I pulled out a bag of silver dust and a bag full of dead rats. I then dumped the silver dust onto the floor and proceeded to roll the dead rats in it, covering them with the impure metal.

twow: (singing) “Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’ on the river!” (smacked by Dinky)

I then took the silver dust covered rats and showed them to the sobbing filly. She managed to lift her head up and watched in horror as I shoved the rats up her vagina.

Dinky: Hm. How about FUCK NO.

twow: There’s the rage.

 Dinky started screaming in such horror that I felt myself getting hard again. I finished shoving the five dead rats into her young pussy and then unzipped my pant again.

twow: I really need to get me a pant.

Dinky: They’re on sale right now.

        She started to cry even louder as I started fucking her pussy once more, each thrust sending the dead rats further up into her vagina. I looked down at the broken filly before me and took in her cuteness.

Dinky: Hey! My cuteness is MINE!

twow: Well...

Dinky: I’m cute, right?

twow: Uh...

Dinky: (puppy eyes)

twow: HGN.

Dinky: Thanks for the answer.

 Her blonde mane, her soft, tender purple fur, her horn, it was all so much to take in I felt myself on the verge of orgasm really quickly. Then, one of the dead rat's tails managed to get shoved up my urethra, sending me over the edge. I pulled out and shot my seed all over Dinky's stomach.

twow: He’s gonna pull a Twilight, isn’t he?

Dinky: What?

twow: Don’t worry about it.

        After I finished up I zipped up my pants and proceeded with the ritual. Now that the sacrifices had been put into her genitals, I took my blowtorch, lit it, and brought it towards Dinky's vagina. I started drooling as the flame made contact with her ass hole, cauterizing it shut.

Dinky: What the hell?!

twow: I guess you could say that you have a real hot ass. (smacked by Dinky)

 Dinky screamed in agony "MAKE IT STOP!" she shouted over and over again. I just started laughing so hard I was barely able to keep the blowtorch steady, but I managed.

Dinky: This person has no soul.

twow: I think I ate it. Tasted like crushed dreams.

        After her ass was melted shut, I moved up to her rat filled vagina. Dinky yelled "PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" but I just laughed and started to melt her slit anyway.

twow: Damn. He’s on fire! (choked by Dinky)

Dinky: STOP NOW.

 She writhed in unspeakable pain, endless agony, for her, time ceased to exist. The only thing that she could think of was the endless burning of the white hot fire, (Can anyone guess what that line was taken from? lol) until with a laugh I said "All done!" and removed the blowtorch, flicking it off.

twow: The real question is, do we care?

Dinky: We don’t.

        I then took the jar of goat's blood, opened it, and started to dab my fingers in it and then flick all over Dinky as I yelled "Lord Satan blessith this most worthy sacrifice I present to you! Please enjoy doing as I hath done only mere moments ago to this little filly for all eternity!" and then I dumped the rest of the goat's blood all over her face and chest.

Dinky: My afterlife’s gonna suck.

twow: I C WAT U DID THAR. (thrown by Dinky) Why are you so MEAN?!

        Dinky started to scream as I took the silver knife and lowered it towards her chest. She started crying in pain once more as I drug the knife down her chest, ending at her luscious vagina. I then made two incisions on the top and bottom of the first one, making the shape of an "I"

twow: Oh! I get it!

Dinky: Oh, fucking STOP IT!

 I then took a pillow off of the couch and used it to prop Dinky's head up, forcing her to watch as I cut out her organs.

        I then pulled the two flaps of flesh away, making a sickening sound. Dinky stopped screaming, and started to cry, not out of pain, or fright, but from sadness.

Dinky: No, I’m sure I’d be crying from the fucking pain.

She knew she was going to die, and she didn't want to. I then took the knife and cut off Dinky's eyelids so she was forced to watch. I then took the knife and started to, with surgical precision, cut out her kidneys. I lifted each one up and with a smile showed them to Dinky's horrified eyes.

twow: This guy’s like the Marty Stu of psychotic dreams.

Dinky: Princess Luna would have a field day.

 I then put them on the silver platter. I then proceeded to do the same for her liver, pancreas,  bladder, intestines, colon, and various other organs, making sure she got a good look at them.

Dinky: How am I not dead? HOW?

twow: Plot wanted you alive, so you live.

        It was finally time to let Dinky go into the sweet embrace of Lord Satan, so I cut out her lungs, showed them to her, and then brought he in for a deep, passionate kiss as she suffocated to death. My tongue explored her young mouth, tasting her tongue, cheeks, and throat, until I felt her heart stop beating. I then lifted the kiss and engaged with the next phase.

Dinky: Geez. Thank the princesses that I’m fucking dead.

twow: Probably the only time you’ll say that.

        I took the platter over to the couch with the silverware, turned on a comedy station on Dinky's T.V., and proceeded to feast upon Dinky's young, filly organs as I watched Reno 9-1-1. I bit down into her organs slowly, savoring the juicy, bitter taste.

twow: “Tastes like chicken!”

Dinky: EVERYTHING that’s fucked up tastes like that. It’s a law.

 I didn't know which organs I was eating at once because I sliced them all up into small pieces and started eating random pieces together at once. It tasted simply divine as Rarity would put it. It tasted so good that before long it was all gone.

twow: “Ah well. Dust in the wind.”

        I then went back to Dinky's body, took the silver knife, and cut out Dinky's heart. I then put her young, pure heart into the silver chalice, sprinkled goat's blood and silver dust on it, poured a tad bit of gasoline onto it, and then I took the lighter and watched it burn.

twow: (singing): “I fell into a burnin ring of fire..”

Dinky: It’s not even worth hitting you.

 As it burned, beautifully, I started to chant "Hail O' Satan, Hail!" over and over and over again until the fire went out, leaving a black mush behind. Then, as a last act of praise to my dark lord I picked up the chalice, and proceeded to drink the black, mushy, ashes, savoring the taste, it tasted of Satan's dark love.

Dinky: How would he know what that tastes like?

twow: He’s Satan’s bitch.

        I proceeded to pick up my sacrificial items, the knife, chalice, platter ECT. and put them into my bag. I left Dinky's body there for Derpy to find upon her arrival home. Then, I pulled down my pants and took a runny, diarrhea shit into Dinky's now empty chest; I then turned around and pissed into it also.

twow: “Hey look! Dinner and a toilet!” (smacked by Dinky)

Dinky: YOU don’t have a soul either!

twow: I only have shreds. Blame Fallen for that.

I tore off a piece of her tail, used it to wipe my ass with, leaned down and kissed her corpse, ate her tongue straight from her mouth, and then walked over to Lyra's body and examined it. It was in fine condition, so I decided to take it for later amusement.

Dinky: “I had the latest edition of Dance Dance Revolution.”

 As I was about to leave I took one last look at my work.

        I looked Dinky's corpse directly in the eyes and said

        "Boy, I really am an artist!" and then I made the long journey home.

twow: Da Vinci you AIN’T.

                                        THE END.

Dinky: About the fuck TIME.

twow: Let’s head out.

Pinkie: (from TV) I’m sorry about that Dinky. Really.

Dinky: It’s alright Pinkie.

twow: Really?

Dinky: Yeah. It’s clear that it was a trollfic. Hell, it pretty much said that in the beginning!

twow: That, and half the stuff in this isn’t even possible. Or realistic.

Dinky: This author, I’d prefer to never read his stuff again.

twow: I can go ahead and second that.

(A voice is heard from upstairs)

Derpy: Dinky? Where are you?

Dinky: Oh shit. I think that I’m supposed to be meeting Sweetie Belle!

twow: Open the doors Pinks!

(The lab doors unlock and open)

Pinkie: Wait T! She’s still a teenager!

twow: Right, uh....I got it! (snaps fingers)

(Dinky shrinks down and shakes her head)

Dinky: Whoa, that was weird. Well, thanks twow! I’ll see you later!

(Dinky runs out of the lab)

twow: Phew. That was a close one.

Pinkie: You might wanna cure that T.

twow: I’ll figure it out. Until then, well I have another member of this family that like riffing.

Pinkie: That’s true. Until next time T!

twow: I’ll be waiting.

(Pinkie hits the button and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Family Bonds, Chapter 1

Well, this was a new one.

We all know who Bronystories is, right? Author of 120 Days of Blueblood and stuff like that? Hell, I’m his official riffer. But here’s the thing.

After I riffed Taming of the Screw, he decided to test me. He wrote a collab fic with TittySparkles called Family Bonds. It’s a clopfic, which is no big deal. But then he hit me with the two big points.

1. It’s an INCEST clopfic with the Cakes, and 2. He tailored the story with my riff in mind.

He knew that he wanted me to riff this and knew that I wouldn’t back down from a challenge. And here we are.

As usual, I have not read the story, but the simple fact that Bronystories WANTS this scares me.

Let’s get started. I bring to you, Family Bonds.

Pinkie: Whoa! What’s this thing?!

twow: My emotion cannon. Don’t play with it, it’s been more trouble then it’s worth.

Pinkie: Aww! Can’t I just fire it once?

twow: No! Pinkie!

(The emotion cannon blows up in Pinkie’s hooves, covering her in smoke)

twow: Damn it Pinkie!

Dash: What’s going on in there?!

twow: Pinkie’s blowing stuff up.

(The smoke clears to reveal a flat-maned Pinkamena)

twow: I was just kidding Pinkie!

Pinkamena: Yeah, whatever.

Dash: Are you alright Pinkie?

(Pinkie’s mane poofs back up)

Pinkie: Of course! What’s up Dashie?

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

Dash: Just a riffing challenge for you and twow.

twow: Wait, challenge? By who?

Dash: That Bronystories guy. Apparently, he worked on a story with another author and had you riffing it in mind.

twow: Huh. I’m kinda flattered.

(Pinkie’s mane deflates)

twow: Oh shit. The effect from the gun is causing your emotions to shift!

Pinkamena: Is that bad?

twow: A bit unnerving. I think that you SHOULD be okay.

Pinkie: If you say! What’s the story Dashie?

Dash: It’s called “Family Bonds” and you’re gonna have to just read it to figure it out.

twow: Thanks a bunch Dash.

Dash: Anytime.

*BUZZ*

twow and Pinkie: We’ve got story sign!

        As the lanky stallion Carrot Cake awoke from his slumber, the only sounds that greeted him were the snores erupting from his sleeping wife and the throbbing of his own eardrums.

Pinkie: That’s the best music ever.

twow: (singing) “The hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiils are alive...”

 Doing his best to pull his body up, his whole body felt like it was vibrating at a high speed as everything started to come into focus.

twow: Sugar’ll do that do ya.

 Feeling a yawn coming up from him, he could smell the cheap alcohol on his breath, but the main source of the smell was coming from the sleeping mare beside him. Turning his head to face her, he quickly noticed the blue mare, Cup Cake, was sprawled out on her side of the bed holding a bottle of brandy in her hoof.

twow: Cup drinks?

Pinkamena: Not THAT much.

 Her usually whipped mane was flat and beyond messed up to be considered bed hair. It was a rather pitiful sight to see and he looked away from it to a side table.

twow: Awww.

Pinkie: That IS kinda sad.

 Resting on the oak was a clock reading it was 7:27 and the stallion was ready to fall back asleep, but the feeling of his full bladder told him otherwise. Quickly blinking his eyes so they could focus, he moved from out of the covers and all his joints awoke with a startling cracking sound.

Pinkie: Who broke all the branches?

twow: (facepalm)

        “Ughhh… thank Faust it’s Sunday…” Carrot Cake groaned quickly remembering it was the family’s free day to be ponies.

Pinkamena: What.

twow: Lulz.

        He didn’t have to get the cube opened up, and was happy to be able to take his time for once. As he thought about what he would do for the day, a small smile formed on his face but quickly disappeared when he heard the sound of his sleeping wife passing gas in the bed.

twow: How rude.

Pinkie: Now she’s gotta apologize!

He looked back and shook his head in shame for her.

        Carrot and Cup’s marriage had been slowly degrading over the long years and the only thing they had to show for it was a set of twins.

Pinkamena: That’s not a BAD thing, ya know.

twow: Maybe he wanted more?

 At the time he was happy to have kids he'd come to raise, but at the same time he doubted they were his. Considering both of them were earth ponies and the kids were a pegasus and a unicorn put extreme doubt in his mind.

twow: You live in a world with MAGIC.

Pinkamena: True. This could happened. In fact, it already has!

When approached about the differences in races, he would always bring up past linage to make it seem probable. He wanted to believe he was the father of his kids, Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake, and even convinced himself that it was his slightly mixed lineage that caused the different races to be born, but deep down he know otherwise.

twow: You were TOLD to not go to the sperm bank but noooooooooo...

He couldn’t leave them though, considering he spent years raising them as his own and put so much effort into the bakery he and his wife owned. Why go through the Hell of divorce when your bakery is the second-biggest business in Ponyville next to Sweet Apple Acres?

Pinkie: Because you love each other!

twow: Yeah. Divorce is never the answer.

 It was either shut up and be rich, or end up whiny and poor. The choice was easy, and for a long time he stayed the loving father and faithful husband he was supposed to be.

twow: Good. Keep it that way.

Pinkamena: But is he going too?

twow: God, I hope so.

        The sudden feeling of his bladder needing that relief nagged him again and he quickly departed from his room. Still thinking about his life, he didn’t hear the sound of the shower running as he headed to the bathroom. Before he could realize it, he had opened the door and saw his daughter washing herself down before she turned around and screamed.

Pinkie: “Dad! I’m taking a bubble bath!”

twow: Did she just not have the curtain shut?

 While mostly all ponies were used to not wearing clothes, it was a universal knowledge to never intrude on another pony while they were in the bathroom. As Pumpkin Cake quickly covered her parts up with her tail, Carrot froze and just stared at her.

twow: “Damn, I’d tap that.” (smacked by Pinkamena)

Pinkamena: You have problems.

twow: I have ninety-nine of them. Happily, a daughter ain’t one.

 She was a beautiful pony no doubt. Though she lacked a cutie mark, she was just hitting her teenage years.

twow: Alright, so she’s about twelve.

        She had a very light yellow coat, along with an orange mane that was usually in ponytails, but considering she was showering, her brilliant mane was flat and hanging over her shoulders.

Pinkamena: Why are we getting details about how she looks during a shower?

twow: Why NOT. (smacked by Pinkamena)

While she had a face of shock, it quickly turned into a carefree smile once she saw who entered the bathroom.

        “Daddy! Don’t look! You scared me.”

twow: “Now get out! I’m trying to masterbate!”

Pinkie: T!

        Her voice was cheerful and very optimistic, yet was laced with the naivety of a child.  Even when she told her father to look away she was too cheerful for her own good.  At that moment Carrot didn’t catch it, as he looked away red faced and embarrassment.

Pinkie: “I thought this was the kitchen.”

twow: “I’ll be downstairs making waffles.”

        “S-sorry sweetheart!” He quickly stammered out as he exited the bathroom with haste while closing it behind him.

        Clear of his daughter's dripping wet body, Carrot took a moment and leaned against the door, while panting for a bit of air.

twow: Dude, it wasn’t THAT deep.

Pinkamena: Did you ever walk in on a female showering?

twow: My little sister.

Pinkamena: How did that go?

twow: I screamed, ran out of the room, and slammed my head into a wall.

Pinkamena: Wow.

twow: It worked.

 He was so into his thoughts that the sound of the shower never registered and it actually scared him to see his daughter in there. Yet for the brief seconds he saw her, he couldn’t help but notice how much she reminded him of his wife in her younger days.

Pinkie: She got her mom’s beauty.

twow: And...charm?

 Back before she became a fat, hopeless drunk, Cup Cake was the most beautiful Ponyville had ever seen. Just remembering how many stallions tried to be with her was a testament to that fact.

twow: Damn.

Pinkie: Mrs. Cake is still beautiful!

twow: ...not gonna make the joke.

 Considering the probable lineage of his children, Carrot began to wonder just how many of those stallions had been intimate with his wife after their marriage.

twow: 4. I counted.

Pinkamena: Can I stab you?

twow: I have a carrot in the left drawer.

        Carrot’s story was almost pulled from a book itself from the way it turned out.  An average pony that would never have a chance at her yet somehow he managed to catch her eye amongst the sea of boys wanting her.  Yet that story was just a distant memory to the present and he wished he could go back and be happy.

twow: Hop in my TARDIS.

Pinkie: But don’t blame us if you wanna come back!

        The more he thought about his wife, the more his mind put his daughter in her image.

Pinkamena: What.

twow: It’s gonna be one of those stories...

It had been a growing problem for him for the last few weeks and it wasn’t getting any better. The addition of not getting any action from Cup wasn’t helping him either, but even if she offered he would decline. He felt no sexual desire or real love for her anymore, thanks to her drinking habits.

twow: Being drunk doesn’t turn you on?

Pinkamena: How in the hell would that turn ANYPONY on?!

twow: I’ve seen some horrible things...

His sexually-active mind was burning with taboo images between him and his daughter enjoying each other’s warmth in his bed. Slightly tilting his head to the side, he brought his hoof up and pressed against his forehead in an effort to kill the visions.

twow: Bullet’ll clear that right up.

Pinkamena: Or a knife.

        “I need a drink.” Carrot said in a very uncomfortable tone, as he brought his hoof back down and started walking for the stairs.

Pinkie: Like some water?

twow: You KNOW what he’s gonna get Pinkie.

        Moving with a bit more energy in his body, he trotted down the staircase and walked into the kitchen to raid his wife's stash of liquor. It wasn’t hard to find, considering it was plainly in the fridge for everyone to see.

twow: It was missing a sign that said, “Come and get it!”

The twins knew about their mothers’ alcoholic problem she started to develop, but never spoke to her about it in case she would get violent and start making a mess.

        "Her parent's should've named her Rum Cake," Carrot thought mirthlessly.

Pinkamena: twow, don’t you DARE replace that “r” with a “c”.

twow: And you say that I have the dirty mind. (thrown by Pinkamena)

        Quickly opening up the fridge, Carrot grabbed the bottle of vodka and quickly rolled off the top and took a shot. He wasn’t a hopeless drunk like he wife, and knew his limits very well. As he felt the smooth liquor travel down his throat, he closed his eyes and shook his head feeling a bit better and more alert.

Pinkie: Alcohol is the new caffeine!

twow: Except that it’s for ages 18 and up.

        As he started to put on the cap, he heard the shower from upstairs turn off, along with the sound of hooves for a brief few seconds. Turning his head to the direction of the sound, he took a deep breath and knew a slightly awkward meeting would happen.

Pinkamena: “So remember how you walked in on me?”

twow: “About that, come upstairs with me for a second.”

 Before his daughter trotted down the stairs, he pulled a box of her favorite cereal out, along with a jug of milk, and a bowl. It was a habit for him to get the food out for the kids when they woke up in the morning.

twow: Just like a real father.

Pinkamena: Minus the whole lustful thoughts.

        “Morning daddy!” Pumpkin said in an oddly cheerful tone and she walked into the kitchen and sat at the table with him.

        “Morning sweetheart.” He said quietly. “Sorry about walking in while you were showering.”

        “It’s alright!” She answered back before lighting up her horn and filling the bowl with the milk and cereal.

twow: Why is she so fucking HAPPY?

Pinkie: Because it’s time to eat!

twow: I get that, but she should be a little concerned about her dad walking in on her!

        Carrot remained silent and just stared at his daughter. She was beautiful no doubt, and most likely had lots of the school kids interested in her. That carefree expression along with her neatly done ponytailed mane gave her an irresistible look. It was the exact same beauty Carrot was attracted to when Cup was about her age.

Pinkamena: Geez. Take a damn picture already.

twow: What’s with the mouth Pinkie?

Pinkamena: This story angers me. And before you start, you had Dinky in here swearing.

twow: That was on YOU.

Carrot saw it, and was oddly attracted to it. It could have been her beauty, or it could have been his sex-deprived mind that was playing with him, but the more he thought about her, the more those same acts played with his mind, putting a rather uncomfortable feeling in his gut.

twow: And headaches in our brains.

 If he wasn’t sitting at the table, his daughter would have noticed a slightly growing erection under it and would have been very curious about it. The funny thing was she would have laughed at it and thought nothing of it, since she hadn’t learned about sex yet, and wouldn’t until a few more years in school.

twow: What?! Bullshit!

Pinkie: What’s wrong?

twow: My little sisters are ten and eight, and they KNOW what sex is. There’s NO reason that Pumpkin shouldn’t know, especially if she’s about to be a teenager!

        “Is something wrong daddy?” Pumpkin said getting ready to bring a spoonful of cereal to her mouth. “Your face looks a bit funny.”

        “I-I’m fine sweetheart. I think I’m just hungry.” He replied quickly, caught off guard by her sudden question.

twow: “For your inner fluids.” (brained by Pinkamena) Why can’t you be normal when I say things like that?!

Pinkamena: The universe wants you to get hit.

        “Here let me get you a bowl!” She replied in a cheerful tone as her horn lit up and she pulled out a bowl from the cupboard and floated it to him.

        “You’re very good with your magic Pumpkin. Having you work in the bakery has made our lives a lot easier.”  He replied trying to find a way to get his mind off his current thoughts.

Pinkie: Eat a cupcake!

twow: Preferably one laced with sleeping pills.

        Carrot calmed down a bit and tried to focus on the abilities of his kids. Thanks to them being either a unicorn or a pegasus, business became so much easier for them and much more profitable. Carrot knew they would get their cutie marks in baking, but so far they had remained blank flanks.

Pinkamena: Then maybe they WON’T be bakers.

twow: Pumpkin’s gonna be an artist, and Pound’s gonna be a pimp.

        “I try my best to help you and mommy out.” She said as she took another mouthful of cereal. “Mhm…The more I learn, the less pressure falls on you.”

        “That’s true, and both of us are very thankful. I just wish your mother would show it…” Carrot said as he sulked his head down a bit.

twow: “Show it to me and not her bottle...”

Pinkie: “Is that why the bottle had lipstick on it?”

        “Are you mad at mom?” Pumpkin asked.

        “N-no I just…well, you know your mother has a small problem…” Carrot said, unable to look his daughter in the eye.

Pinkie: “She’s addicted to grass.”

twow: “NO! NOT THE GRASS!”

        “Mom’s just going through a rough patch in life," Pumpkin said, matter-of-factually,"Mrs. Cheerilee and Big Macintosh had something similar happen to them not long ago but they got over it.”

        “Sweetheart, how do you know that?” Carrot asked.

        “Not telling!” Pumpkin said, as her face suddenly reddened.

twow: “I had a first row seat.” (curb-stomped by Pinkamena)

        Carrot went silent and gave his daughter a rather curious eye, but knew she wouldn’t say a word. When she wasn’t in the bakery or at home, Pumpkin Cake was one of Mrs. Cheerilee best students at school. No doubt Pumpkin weaned her way into her good side and may heard or saw a few things that weren’t meant for her ears.

twow: Um, no. Cheerilee is an adult, and would know better than to tell her student anything she wasn’t supposed to know.

Pinkie: Yeah! There’s a reason that she’s great at what she does!

        “You and mommy should talk to each other! I don’t want to see the both of you unhappy.” Pumpkin said, finishing the last spoonful of her meal.

        “I’ll talk to her later once she wakes up.” He said.

        “And once she’s sober…” He muttered under his breath so his daughter didn’t catch it.

Pinkie: “And hungry.”

twow: “And horny.”

        “What was that?” She asked as she got out of her sit and levitated her bowl to the sink.

        “It was…”

        Carrot stopped in mid-sentence as he watched his daughter trot to the sink, letting her naturally curvy hips sway, drawing his eyes to them in an almost hypnotic manner. Along with her swaying, foal-bearing hips, his locked eyes noticed her neatly combed, orange tail swishing about hiding a bit of pink he would see for a brief second until it passed.

twow: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Pinkamena: Wow. I need to stab a lot of things now.

 Again those mental images of both of them invaded his weak mind almost causing him to panic.

        “Hmm?” Pumpkin voiced as she peered over her shoulder with a curious look on her voice.

        “It-it was nothing!” He answered quickly as he turned away red faced.

        “If you say so, I’m going to go study a bit of magic for a bit and then visit my friends alright?” Pumpkin replied not thinking much about his sudden pause.

twow: You have the mindset of a squirrel.

        Carrot was thankful for her attitude. She was a smart kid, but oh so naive.

Pinkamena: Don’t we know it.

It was thanks to that, that he never had to back himself up for looking at her like he just did. It wasn’t the first, but today it seemed to nag him more than before. If he didn’t find a way to deal with his sexually-active mind, he knew he would lose it.

Pinkie: Can’t he just go take care of it himself?

twow: Wouldn’t be the same.

        “Uhh…sure, you go study while I go wake up your mother and talk with her.” He replied wanting to sound he was going to take her advice.

        “Alright! You and mommy can work out your problems, I just know it!” She replied with a big toothy grin and she trotted beside him and gave his cheek a quick kiss before she turned around and went for the stairs.

twow: D’awww

Pinkie: So adorable!

        Carrot remained quiet and just wanted his daughter trot away and head back up before he noticed something wrong with him. While he was lost in his mental images, he got hardened up without even realizing it. Looking down he saw his stallionhood, fully erect and twitching.

twow: Hair trigger much? And to your DAUGHTER?!

Pinkamena: BAD IMAGE GET LOST!

He was lucky it was hidden from view thanks to the table, but the fact he was getting hard over his daughter made him feel wrong. Leaning his head on the table, he groaned with frustration at his problem and wondered how to fix it.

        “Maybe I should talk to Cup.” He said to himself as he tried to calm himself down.

twow: If she’s even awake.

Pinkie: Buckets of water solve everything!

        He became quiet for a few minutes hoping his erection would die down so he could walk around the house without feeling awkward. He was thankful that Pound Cake was still sleeping and his wife was still passed out, but even though they were asleep, he was still nervous someone would see it.

twow: I mean, as long as you don’t go outside and start waving it like a flag you SHOULD be fine.

Pinkie: (busts up laughing)

 Realizing it wasn’t going down, he slowly went to all fours and tried to walk it off. It was very uncomfortable for him to walk around with a raging hard-on hovering below his stomach, begging to get any attention. Even when he tried to walk up the stairs, he felt like a newborn foal trying to climb it for the first time.

twow: Just do the deed there!

Pinkamena: REALLY.

twow: What? He’d be fine!

        Looking down he saw the door to his room open, and the vision of his passed out wife was the only thing to greet his eyes. Just looking at her made him feel like a pitiful fool. The sexiest mare in Ponyville now nothing but a stinking drunk.

twow and Pinkamena: YEAH. WE GET THE POINT.

 He was honestly surprised she never pissed the bed at night or even threw up all over it.  Speaking of piss, his bladder gave him a friendly reminder that he still needed to relief himself.

Pinkie: Wait, Bronystories helped with this?

twow: Yeah, and it looked like he failed a spot check.

Pinkie: Even I don’t know how to “relief” myself!

 Seeing the open bathroom door nearby, he knew this time it was clear and ready for him. With a bit of haste in his step, he trotted into it and got hit in the face with the lingering mist still about.

Pinkie: Ouch.

twow: He should have ducked.

        Walking over to the toilet, Carrot stood on his hindlegs and aimed his still throbbing erection at the toilet. A bit of the yellow liquid drizzled onto the floor and lid, but after a quick adjustment he hit the mark.

twow: He missed the bulls-eye.

Pinkie: Gotta practice more, Mr. Cake!

The feeling was much deserved, and with a loud sigh he felt a bit more relaxed now that he wasn’t worried about pissing on the floor.

Pinkamena: If that’s a concern at your age, you need some help.

 After giving it a few last shakes to make sure none of it dripped onto the floor, Carrot quickly cleaned up the small mess he made, and turned for the sink.

        Quickly turning on the cold water, he put his hooves under it, and splashed a bunch of it on his face to try and shake off the feeling.

twow: “Alright, it was just a dream. I’m not in a shitty fanfic.”

Pinkamena: (looks up) “Damn it!”

Finally calming down, he felt his erection going back down putting a soft smile on his face. Before it went back into its limp state, he suddenly heard the distant sound of someone humming a tune. A quick deduction and he knew it was his daughter humming a small tune in her room while studying.

twow: (humming the My Little Pony theme)

Pinkie: I wanna join in! (starts humming with twow)

 He paused for a minute, letting the melody ring in his ears before he reached for a nearby towel rack to dry his face off. Once it was free of water, he fell back to all fours and made for the door.

        Arriving back in the hallway the melody got a bit louder and much clearer.

twow: That’s usually how it works. You get closer to a sound, you hear it better.

 Turning his head to the sound, he saw Pumpkin’s door wide open with her sitting on the bed, reading a book while flipping the pages with her magic. Once again he smiled and turned for his room before his smile faded away into a look of pity.

Pinkamena: “I wish I could read like that.”

twow: Homework on the weekend. Fuck that.

There was his wife, sprawled across the bed, nearly falling over the side with a bottle in her hoof. Her mane was a mess and he could smell the stale liquor from where he was standing, and wondered how he managed to sleep through the smell of it.

Pinkamena: You’ve only hammered that point into our heads though the ENTIRE story!

twow: It was more like a drill.

 With a heavy head, he started for the room in hopes he could fix his failing marriage, but before he entered the room, all his senses focused on the melody from behind him.

        Slowing turning his head around, his eyes once again found his daughter, studying without a care in the world.

twow: He did a 360.

Pinkie: Impressive!

 Again those thoughts started to surface and know he was really finding it hard to resist. There was a source for his happiness at the far end of the hallway and he wished he could partake in it without being called a freak.

twow: That’s never going to happen, you sick fuck.

Pinkamena: And prison will welcome you with open arms.

 Giving his head a quick shake, he turned back for his room but saw nothing but sadness and regret waiting for him on his bed. He could attempt to patch up their love life but it was hard to repair something that refused to be fixed.

twow: That shouldn’t stop you from trying!

Pinkie: It’s not just about you, you gotta remember your children!

He could try for his daughter’s sake but it would accomplish nothing for him. Even if he did there would be nothing but false love waiting for him in her, yet if he went for his daughter there would be happiness, but at what cost?

Pinkamena: Your freedom?

twow: Your family?

Pinkamena: Your home?

twow: Your soul?

        His troubled mind began to figure out the aftermath of both directions. He could commit incest with his daughter but if his wife found out the marriage would be over and the fallout would be disastrous, yet if he could convince Pumpkin it was a proper thing for fathers and daughters to

do, then such things could be gotten away with.

twow: The logic in this is as stable as a wet loaf of bread.

It would have been easy convincing the naive filly considering sex wasn’t taught at her grade level and it won’t be until a year or two down the road.

twow: Hold up a fucking second. We’ve established that she’s about twelve, right?

Pinkie: Yeah.

twow: That would put her around seventh grade. I learned about sex in FIFTH grade. Why in the FUCK does she know NOTHING about it?!

Pinkamena: And in any case, she’s gotta have heard stuff from her classmates.

        His mind went to the next scenario of talking with his wife about her problem and their failing marriage.

twow: The good idea.

 There was a good chance she would push it off and not want to deal with it, considering she always had a bit of a temper when it came to talking about her problems.

Pinkie: “Don’t get mad, get glad!”

twow: Haven’t heard that one in a while.

It wouldn’t have been the first time he tried to get her to cut back on drinking, and that talk turned into a verbal fight that ended with him leaving the house for the night and staying at his long-time friends place, Filthy Rich.

twow: Huh. That’s interesting.

Pinkie: What is, T?

twow: I wonder if that friendship will come into play later.

        The directions tugged at the seams of his mind, ready to tear him apart if he didn’t pick one. He gave it more thought before he made his decision. With a deep breath, he walked to his door and closed it so she wouldn’t hear anything from across the hall.

twow: What.

Pinkamena: He’s not.

 He knew she won’t wake up from the noise but it was better safe than sorry. Once the door clicked into place, he turned around and made his way to her room.

twow: WHAT.

Pinkamena: HE’S NOT.

        “Sweetheart, can I talk to you about something?” Carrot’s voice echoed in the rather cold room as he let himself in.

twow and Pinkamena: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

        “Mhm? Oh hi Daddy, what do you want to talk about?” She answered back, slightly surprised to see her father again so soon.

twow: “Where’s my carrot?”

        Carrot paused and thought about the backlash this would cause in the future, but pushed it away not wanting to deal with it. He wanted to be happy and he wanted to show his daughter he loved her.

Pinkamena: NO, you sick jerk! That’s NOT HOW IT WORKS!

twow: You son of a BITCH.

Dash: (from TV) Well, that’s a signal for a break.

Dash: Man you guys. I’m sorry.

twow: What the hell am I even READING.

Pinkie: The plot of the story makes no sense at all! It’s like a puzzle randomly thrown together.

twow: With half the pieces missing and the others aren’t even for that puzzle.

Pinkie: And...this isn’t Mr. Cake! He’s completely faithful to Mrs. Cake!

twow: And I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t want to bone his own daughter.

Pinkamena: HE DOESN’T.

twow: And that makes me hate what’s gonna happen next.

Pinkie: (hugging twow) This story just makes me so sad.

twow: Yeah, that tends to happen when dealing with Bronystories.

Dash: He normally writes this weird stuff?!

twow: Dash, you know this. Hell, you were THERE for your own chapter in 120 Days of Blueblood.

Dash: Don’t remind me.

Pinkamena: (pulling away from twow) Alright, lets finish this.

twow: You sure?

Pinkamena: Yeah, but let’s try to get through this in one shot.

twow: We’ll certainly try.

*BUZZ*

twow and Pinkamena: We’ve got story sign!

        “Before I talk to your mother, I want to talk to you about something that fathers do with their daughters when they get old enough.”

twow: “It’s called shopping.”

Pinkie: “Grab your bits.”

        Carrot was calm, in fact almost too calm for his own liking. It could have been the naive smile on his daughters’ face that did it, or maybe it was him actually going through with his obscure plan.

Pinkamena: I’m still going with my theory of you being a damn nutcase.

twow: Seconding that.

        Carrot started to trot for the bedside, feeling his stomach in his throat and his heart beat in his ears. Between his legs, his erection bounced as he walked and he could see his daughter looking at it with a curious eye.

twow: “Oh look, a popsicle!” (punched by Pinkamena)

 He was glad he never taught his kids about sex and how it should only be between adults.

        On Pumpkin's end, watching her father trot toward her, made her felt a bit uneasy as she saw his penis long and hard like it was. It wasn’t the first time she saw it out of its sheath,

twow: What.

Pinkamena: That’s a sentence that I never want to see again.

 but it was the first time she ever saw it hard, and though she was a bit nervous, she kept her smile on her face so she won’t worry her dad. Besides why should she be scared of her father?

Pinkie: Because he’s not in his right mind?

twow: And because he wants to rut the hell out of you.

        “You trust me right sweetheart?” He asked her as he crawled onto the bed and sat beside her.

twow and Pinkamena: Nope.

        “Of course I trust you!” She replied.

twow and Pinkamena: Damn it.

        Pumpkin watched as his hoof came to her chin and pushed it up so her face was level with his, forcing her to look in his eyes. As she looked into them, Carrot pushed his face forward and brought his lips to hers which caught the young filly off guard.

Pinkie: WHAT?!

twow: You sick bastard.

 The only time she ever saw her dad kiss a pony on the lips was with her mother when they looked very happy together and always thought it was something that they could only do to each other.

twow: That’s because it IS.

Pinkie: Hugs though, they are universal.

        As their lips pressed together, Pumpkin felt a rather uneasy feeling swell within her as he ran his hooves along her fur, moving it down her spine and resting it just above the base of her tail. A bit worried, she gave off a soft ‘mhm’ in hopes he would pull away and explain what he was doing.

Pinkamena: She was telling him to back the hell up.

twow: You can translate that also?

        “It’s alright sweetheart, daddies always do this kind of thing when their daughters get old enough.” He said as he pulled away like she wanted.

twow: “Only in the south.” (brained by Applejack)

Pinkie: Wow T. How did THAT happen?!

twow: (dazed) I don’t know, but that hurt like a bitch.

        “But what about Pound Cake?” She asked wondering if her brother would get the same thing.

        “Your brother and your mother will do the same thing, so you don’t have to worry about it.” Carrot replied quickly making up the lie without looking bad, and got ready to move in for another kiss.

Pinkamena: That’s....

twow: This story isn’t done. That scares me.

 Pumpkin believed his words and accepted the new affection she was receiving from him, but still feeling a bit uncomfortable about it.

Pinkamena: Then get away!

twow: “Remember kids, if there’s someone touching you in anyway that makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s no good.”

        She could feel her heart thumping in her chest, at an intense speed as the kissing continued. Her father drew her closer to him so he could bring his hooves around her body and keep her close. The way her father hugged her and started moving his kisses upward to her forehead made her feel cold and clammy even with his warm body against hers.

twow: That’s called fear, sweetheart.

Pinkie: I just wanna hug her!

twow: It would be less creepy.

        “I love you sweetheart.” Carrot said noticing she was being oddly quiet for once.

        “I know. This just feels weird.” She replied with a bit of worry in her voice as she looked behind her shoulder and saw his erection poking upward and twitchy.

twow: “Agh, it’s moving!!”

        “I promise it will be okay. Everyone does this so you don’t need to worry.”

Pinkie: No, everypony does not!!

twow: Ah, the logic of retards. Beautiful.

        Carrot stroked her orange mane in an attempt to make her feel a bit easier. In the back of his mind, he knew he was going too far, but he was already too far in to pull away. The same choices remained from before and he wanted happiness over a broken marriage.

twow: The way you’re going, you're going to have a broken family.

Pinkamena: Which is a lot worse, BTW.

        Done with his pointless kissing, he just held her body in place and stroked her mane quietly thinking on what to do next. He wanted to stick his erection into her beautiful body, but he wanted to try and make her feel a bit more easy, and hopefully more sexually active.

twow: Not gonna happen.

Pinkamena: YOU ARE HER FATHER.

        A sudden realization hit him, causing him to remember something his daughter once talked about. He didn’t remember exactly when but Pumpkin had asked him about wanting a little sister in the family. Back then he laughed and thought she was just being silly, but giving it more thought he could try using that to his advantage.

Pinkie: “Remember that sister you wanted?”

twow: “You’re gonna help me make one!”

Pinkie: It’s gonna go like that, isn’t it?

twow: Probably.

        “Sweetie, do you want to know where babies come from?” He asked her.

        “What?” She replied a bit confused to why he suddenly asked her that question.

        “Would you like to know where babies come from?” He asked again, hoping she would say yes.

Pinkie: “I already know!”

twow: ....Wut.

        “Uh…ok.” Pumpkin not really sure what to think about it.

        With a soft smile, he turned his eyes down and brought his hoof to his rock hard erection poking up from his lap.

        "This is where babies come from." Carrot Cake said, as he showed Pumpkin his dick.

twow: You’re already doing it wrong. If you’re going to teach her, at least do it right!

        "You mean I came from there?" Pumpkin said, her young mind unable to fully grasp the concept.

Pinkamena: No, that played a PART in it.

        Carrot paused hearing the words that SHE came from there. Carrot Cake's lip curled as he thought about his wife's many suspected infidelities. He knew that there was no chance that Pumpkin Cake was his biological daughter, so this wouldn't technically be incest.

twow: Um, bullshit.

Pinkamena: She’s still part of your family!

twow: That’s like saying that I could fuck my sister because I’m adopted.

        "That's right, Pumpkin," Carrot Cake lied through his teeth while trying to hide the hint of malice in his voice.

        "Are there more brothers or sisters in there?" Pumpkin asked.

        "Lots more," Carrot said, "but in order to make a foal, a daddy needs a mommy to help."

Pinkie: And as we can see, Pumpkin isn’t quite there yet.

twow: She’s a mommy to plastic dolls.

        "Is there anything I could do?" Pumpkin said, "I'd really like a little sister to play with."

        Carrot Cake smiled. This was going to be easier than he thought.

Pinkamena: IT SHOULDN’T BE.

        "If you want a little sister to play with, there's something else you've got to play with first," Carrot said, gesturing to his penis, "Daddy's penis needs to be hard and wet. You can help by sucking on it like a lollipop."

twow: “Is it cherry flavored?”

Pinkie: “I only want blueberry!”

        Pumpkin Cake hesitated.

        "Ew, daddy," Pumpkin said, "That's gross. You pee from there and it’s hard right now."

twow: Not to mention the 86 other problems with this scene.

Pinkamena: And they all start with C.

        "Do you want a little sister, or not?" Carrot Cake asked, ignoring the last part of it.

        "Yes, daddy," Pumpkin said, sadly.

        Pumpkin eyed the shaft with a very curious eye as she still tried to figure out how it worked.

twow: It’s a dick.

Pinkamena: She can NOT be this naive.

 Bringing her nose to it, she sniffed it and found it had an odd smell to it. It had a mix of sweat, piss, and even a hint of her mother’s alcohol on it.

twow: Do not want to know why.

Pinkie: He went swimming.

twow: In alcohol?!

Pinkie: It could happen!

Turning her eyes upward, she saw her father waiting ever so patiently for her to start. Carrot knew his daughter had a knack for sucking on things in her youth and hoped that habit stuck with her.

Pinkamena: That’s...convenient.

twow: Plot device. Calling it now.

        Bringing her hooves to hold onto the sides of it, Carrot shivered as she pressed against. He watched her open her little mouth and latch it around the head of it, starting to suck on the tip.

        Carrot gasped as the wet, velvety tongue touch the tip of his cock, sending another shiver throughout his body. As soon as he did, Pumpkin pulled away with a disturbed look on her face.

twow: “Wait, what the hell am I DOING?!”

Pinkie: “This is mommy’s job!”

        “Bleh, I taste pee.” She said twisting her face to one reflecting her disgust.

        “That taste will go away dear, but you had a very good start there. Try placing your lips on the side of it, like your brother does when he tries to play his harmonica.” Carrot replied eager to feel his daughters’ lips around it again.

twow: And I can never look at a harmonica again.

        Pumpkin took a second to remember what her brother looked like he tried to play with his little noise maker that annoyed her on several occasions. With the mental note in her mind, she pressed her lips against the shaft and moving it up and down to mimic the motion in her mind.

Pinkie: Except that no beautiful music will take place.

twow: The music of regret.

Carrot grinned as he felt her warm lips work their magic, making his erection pulse with life.

        Pumpkin did what she was asked for while dealing with the odd taste of it, along with the smell as well. It tasted like piss and salt, and it reeked of sweat and fur, making her to almost not want to suck it.

Pinkie: Ewww.

twow: That is nasty. The least he could have done was take a shower first.

 Even while she sucked, she wondered how she would get a new brother or sister by doing what she was doing.

        Pumpkin stopped briefly as she felt her father’s hoof rest against her mane. Looking up without removing her lips, she could notice a very satisfied look on his face. Whatever she was doing, she must have been doing it right.

twow: Don’t ask me.

Pinkamena: That’s a whole nother conversation.

        “Make sure you get it wet on every side dear.” Carrot said to her, petting her mane lightly.

        “Ok,” She replied moving to the front of it, ready to serve.

twow: “Would you like ketchup with that?”

Pinkamena: Might make it taste better.

        Carrot tilted his head back and moaned as quiet as he could as she put her tongue near the base of his shaft and trailed upward to the tip of it before licking the tip. He could feel his body tightening up as she expertly worked her tongue and lips on his sensitive erection.

Pinkie: Suckers do come in handy!

twow: Please stop talking.

Letting her work, Carrot started to recall all the times his wife sucked him off before when they were more sexually active and all of them fell short of what his daughter was doing.

twow: Damn. Apparently Mrs. Cake really sucked at her job. (curb-stomped by Pinkamena)

        “Sweetheart, see how much of it you can fit in your mouth.” He ordered greatly interested in how deep she could take it.

Pinkie: How deep CAN she take it?

twow: I’m more interested in where that comma disappeared to.

        Pumpkin obeyed and opened her mouth to try and fit the tip into her mouth. Once the tip was back inside, she started to suck on the tip really hard, mimicking the sucking of a pacifier, further arousing the stallion. To Carrot is was almost adorable if not a bit creepy to think he was getting sucked off by an infant, yet to Pumpkin it just came natural to suck on something in her mouth.

twow: Oh trust us, it’s fucking creepy.

Pinkamena: And calling her a “infant” increased that by 250%.

        Moving her head down, she tried to see just how much her throat could handle before she felt lie gagging.

Pinkie: She’s gonna lie down and gag?

twow: I’m going to guess that BS didn’t WRITE the story.

 She made it about an inch and a bit before she pulled away and started coughing.

twow: Damn. Good job.

Pinkamena: You are insane.

twow: I have to find any humor I can.

        “T-that hurt…” She rasped while holding her throat.

        “Take it slowly and don’t try to force it and this time bob your head up and down.” He replied remaining calm and collected.

Pinkamena: Easier said than done.

twow: That’s disturbing in many ways.

        Pumpkin coughed a few more times before she was able to clear her throat and try for another round. Putting her lips back around it, she pushed down and back up like he instructed making him a very happy stallion. Her pace was slow and rather sloppy, but her salivating mouth managed to lube the erection very much.

twow: That’s a pleasant image.

Pinkamena: What the fu...

 Even with her sporadic pacing, it was still enough to start getting the stallion off.

        “S-Sweetheart, bring your hooves to the side and stroke for me.” Carrot panted wanting her to go faster for him.

        Pumpkin remained silent, taking her mouth off the tip to stroke it properly.

Pinkamena: How is she so good at this just from him telling her how to do it?

twow: I’m blaming the plot fighting with the reason and neither won.

 Carrot noticed and wanted her to keep on sucking but he didn’t want her to get disgusted by the taste of it and stop.

Pinkamena: But we wish you would.

twow: Your emotions are getting more sporadic.

Pinkie: I know! It’s really weird!

twow: No, I’m worried about you.

        “Like this?” Pumpkin asked, putting the sides of her hooves to both sides of his shaft, going at a slow motion so she knew she was getting it right.

        “Perfect, but just a bit faster, like you’re rolling dough in the bakery.” He asked quickly noting how fast she rolls the dough when in the kitchen with him.

twow: Don’t tell her do it like she’s making a pizza.

Pinkie: Wouldn’t that hurt?

twow: Hell if I know.

        Pumpkin started to go the fast she was used to when working in the kitchen. Even with her magic, lots of the times she would use her hooves to be on the same level as the rest of her family. The only real time magic came into play was when she was moving around hot dishes or cleaning up messes that found their way onto the floor.

twow: Makes sense.

Pinkie: How so?

twow: Kinda like you. It’s helpful to know how to do it normally as well.

        “Al-almost there sweetie…” Carrot muttered under his voice, feeling his body starting to tense up from the impending climax, "Lick the tip, baby! Put your tongue on daddy's knob."

twow: (gags)

Pinkamena: (walks away, the sound of glass breaking is heard)

        Pumpkin stared at it with a puzzled look on her face, trying to figure out what she was actually doing, but before she could think about it more, her father grunted and she felt his penis twitch before something white launched out of the tip, directly on her tongue.

twow: “Ah hell! It’s marshmallow cream!”

Pinkie: “You can make that?!”

        "Ah!" Pumpkin said, as she jerked her head back in surprise, "Daddy, what is this stuff?" The first few spurts hit her face before the rest landed on her chest, making her body feel really hot and sticky.

Pinkie: Kinda like glue!

twow: Made by ponies ages 18 and up.

        Carrot Cake was still reveling in the afterglow of his ejaculation. He breathed heavily before answering his daughter's pressing question.

        "That's my semen," Carrot Cake said, "It contains sperm, which is what babies are made from."

twow: It’s a factor, yes...

Pinkamena: Don’t start twow.

        "It's all white and sticky, and it got in my eye!" Pumpkin said. She started to cry as her father's semen dripped onto her chest. Carrot Cake held her close and comforted her.

twow: See what you did, you bastard!

        "It's okay," Carrot Cake said, "You're a very brave filly."

        Pumpkin choked back tears, wiping away the bit of semen that managed to get into her retina. She found her father's embrace surprisingly calming.

Pinkamena: (shudders) You feel that?

twow: I hope not.

        "I'm brave?" Pumpkin asked, moving her hooves away and staring up at him.

        "Oh yes," Carrot Cake said, "Since mommy started drinking, she hasn't been able to help me make a sister for you. With my help, you can make something even better."

Pinkie: “We can make cupcakes!”

        "Better than a sister?" Pumpkin said, "What's that?"

        "A daughter," Carrot said, ominously.

(twow and Pinkamena look at each other and nod)

twow and Pinkamena: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Sweetheart, I want you to lay on your back for me.”

        Pumpkin paused for a second but with a nod of her head she obeyed the command she was given. Going to the side of his body, and away from his still hard erection, she straightened out her orange blanket and laid on it. Carrot’s lustful eyes locked on to her little, untouched slit and smiled at it.

twow: “It’s so beautiful.”

Pinkie: T! That was creepy!

Pumpkin noticed where he was looking and turned red faced before she looked away in embarrassment and closed her legs slightly.

        “Don’t worry; you’re old enough to enjoy this. You’ll be a bit confused at first but once we get going, you’ll like it.”

twow: “Just give me a second to grab the chloroform.”

Pinkamena: “And brain bleach.”

        Placing his hooves on the tip of her legs, he slowly pulled them apart so he could get a better look at it. He could see wetness between her legs but he knew it was from the shower and knew he could get to sample a freshly-cleaned pussy.

Pinkie: Not if she didn’t use soap!

twow: Oh, that’s nasty.

        Lowering his face down, Pumpkin looked at the corner of her eyes and blushed even harder. That’s where she peed from, but didn’t know why her father was going for it. Her first thought was that she didn’t clean it well enough and just thought he was getting a better look at her.

twow: No one is that naive at this age!

Her next one was maybe he was going to mimic what she just did to him, hoping maybe the semen would leave her body as well. Her thoughts quickly changed when she heard him breathe in through his nose, while feeling the air brush past it. Her body trembled at the slight feeling of air and wanted to know what exactly her father wanted.

Pinkamena: See that thing you just sucked on? It’s going inside of you.

twow: It’s REALLY not that deep!

        As Carrot took a nose full of his daughters scent, it smelled like freshly picked dandelions, making his tongue almost melt in his mouth.

twow: How?

Pinkie: Dandelion soap! You want some?

twow: Sure.

Gliding his hooves to her blank flank, he pressed against them and pulled her small frame closer. Pumpkin stayed quiet but let out a small "eep" as she felt his sand paper-like tongue, dance across her tender folds. Saying she was confused would be putting it lightly.

twow: Saying that you’re a dumbass isn’t hard ENOUGH.

 While the feeling of his tongue against her flesh felt wrong, something in her mind told her it felt right, yet how could it be right?

        "This is where babies are made," Carrot said, "Don't you want to have a baby of your very own?"

twow and Pinkamena: SHE’S ONLY TWELVE!

        "Yes," Pumpkin said, her face flushed, "but this feels really weird, daddy."

        “Don’t worry sweetie, I promise it'll be worth it.” Carrot said ready to resume his licking.

        The sudden feeling of his tongue pressing harder against her caused a slightly louder sound to escape her mouth. She didn’t know what sound she made but Carrot knew she gave off a soft moan.

Pinkamena: Now she doesn’t even know what SOUNDS she’s making?!

twow: I fail to see how she even knows how to think at this point.

Wanting to see how else she would react, he started running his tongue around the edges of it in a circular motion making her quiver and shake with uncertainty. So far everything was going like he wanted and hoped she wouldn’t ask him to stop out of fear. If she asked he would fear his attempt at sex would turn into something else altogether.

twow: Oh, what it already is?

Pinkie: How could this be rape, T?

twow: She has no idea what’s going on. Trust me, I KNOW.

Pinkie: (hugs twow)

        “D-dad that tickles and feels funny…” Pumpkin said, "Please stop."

        Her voice was shaky and very quiet. Looking up at her face, he noticed a slight scrunchy expression on it while her right eye was closed tightly. Carrot Cake ignored her pleas. He knew Pumpkin wasn’t enjoying it.

twow: Then back the hell off!

Pinkamena: He says that he loves her, but he’s just using her!

 He also knew it would be just a bit longer before everything fell into place.

        “It feels funny because it’s your first time. Just stay calm and let me do this.”

        There was a bit of restlessness in his voice as he wanted her to remain quiet and enjoy her. He had to remain a good father, even during his vile act.

twow: “Good” and “Vile” should never be in the same sentence.

 About to press his face back into her folds, a new scent filled his nose. It was her scent, her sweet, sweet arousal.  Carrot smirked and felt his erection pulse with even more life as the scent circulated through his body, before he pressed his tongue down, this time piercing his target.

Pinkie: “Strike the target down!”

twow: “Take no prisoners!”

        Pumpkin moaned and tensed up as the long slimy tongue went deeper into her. She could feel an odd feeling in her stomach building up, making her body slightly hot and bothered. Carrot Cake hadn't shaved this morning, so the short, bristly ginger hairs on his muzzle scratched against his daughter's smooth mound.

twow: No shave is the best shave.

Pinkie: The truth that is.

        The intruder inside of her quickly left and was accompanied by a soft mhm sound from her father. Tilting her head up a bit, she noticed her father running his tongue against his lips like he had tasted something. His muzzle was dripping with some kind of clear juice.

twow: “Is that flavored water?!”

Pinkie: “It tastes like apples.”

            Pumpkin watched as her father started to move his hooves downward, making her legs spread open even more to the point it also hurt. Bringing the edges of his hooves to her folds, he spread them apart to stare into a slightly wet, virgin pussy.

twow: Well, I feel uncomfortable now.

Pinkamena: NOW?!

 The scent became a bit more clear, and his erection continued to pulse to the point of almost dripping precum. He wanted to badly ravage her body, taking her virginity away at the greatest of passions, yet he still needed to try and calm her down a bit more.

Pinkamena: I think he’s lost his mind.

twow: Hai dere Captain Obvious.

His intentions were cruel, but he was still a loving father and refused to be a monster.

Pinkamena: If you’re being cruel, then you can’t be loving!

twow: It’s logic, jackass! Use it!

        Moving his head back into it, he pressed his tongue against the exposed left side pussy and moved in a slow yet almost hypnotic motion. Feeling his tongue against her privates once again made her nervous, but at the same time it felt good.

twow: Duh. It IS a sensitive area.

 Still trying to figure out what was happening with her body, she brought her right hoof up to her mouth in order to smother out a loud, continuous moan that was leaving her.

        Carrot was getting what he wanted and knew she was nearing the comfort zone for him.

Pinkamena: But what about HER?

twow: Could you poof back to normal now?

Pinkamena: I DON’T WANNA!!!

Moving his tongue upward a bit, he started to run circles around her clit, making her body quiver and her moans a bit more erratic. Lost in the moment Carrot pressed his mouth against her pussy and groaned into it, showing he was indeed enjoying the little filly’s body more than he should.

twow: Do I even HAVE to explain how wrong that is?!

Pinkamena: There’s not enough words in the universe.

        “D-daddy that… I feel fu-funny…” Pumpkin said.

        Her voice was still shaky, but started to show signs of pleasure. Carrot however didn’t answer back and just continued to work the little clit with eagerness in each licking motion.

twow: ♫ Hey, look at that body/ I work out!♫

Pinkamena: NOT the best time twow.

 Every once in a while, he felt her legs close slightly, and heard a moan so unnoticeable Carrot wasn’t sure if it was a moan at all. Done with tasting her slit, Carrot pulled his face away and sat back up to look at her.

Pinkamena: “Have I molested my daughter enough yet?”

twow: “Wait, I missed a spot.”

 She was breathing heavy and her face was showing off a crimson blush. A bit of her own wetness along with his saliva reflected the light from above ever so slightly, giving her pussy a slight glow. The glistening lube was a veritable neon sign, beckoning Carrot Cake to enter.

twow: Bluh.

Pinkie: I got nothing!

        "Alright, I need to you roll over and push your butt up for me."

Pinkie: Butt push-ups!

twow: A valuable exercise.

        Pumpkin didn't move and just stared at her father with a confused expression. Tracing her eyes down, they caught the sight of his erection, twitching along with a bit of white stuff coming out of the tip. Her young mind had a feeling that his dick would make its way into her.

twow: That’s the first sign of her being smart in this ENTIRE story.

Pinkie: Isn’t that a little harsh?

twow: Not harsh enough.

        "You're going to put your..." She didn't finish her sentence, feeling a bit embarrassed to even say the word to him.

        "Don't worry, I promise it I'll put it in slowly."

        "Will it hurt?"

        "A little."

twow: I’m not a female, so I don’t know how much it would hurt.

Pinkamena: It’s not a little pinch, if you’re asking.

        Pumpkin wanted to say no but something about the way he was looking at her told her to say otherwise. Doing as he asked, she rolled to her stomach and stood up, while presenting herself to him. Turning her gaze to the headboard, she didn't notice the crude smile on her fathers face.

twow: And with that one sentence, I prepare myself for the worst.

 Keeping his lustful eyes on his prize, he reach forward and spread her folds apart to take one more look at it before it got stuffed. Pumpkin shivered and her legs felt weak as his hooves tickled the inside of her legs.

Pinkie: “Dad! Don’t tickle me there!”

twow: “I still need to learn about that area!”

        Pumpkin held her breath as she tried not to think about what her father was about to do. She needed something to distract herself. Pumpkin Cake glanced over at her shelves. She saw all the toys and books that her father had worked so hard to give her.

twow: Might as well pull out a book.

Pinkie: T! That’d be rude!

 The same stallion who was currently touching her in a way that made her feel funny. She should be upset, but there was something about what her father was doing that seemed right. She looked at her collection of dolls and felt a strange new affinity to them.

twow: “Someday, I too will be forever beautiful.”

        "I'm just a doll," Pumpkin thought, "A new toy for daddy to play with."

Pinkamena: No you aren’t Pumpkin! NO YOU AREN’T! (breaks down in tears)

twow: Shit. Cut it Dash!

twow: Pinkie, you’ve gotta calm down!

Pinkie: Why? This story makes me so sad! (flashes to Pinkamena) And so ANGRY!

twow: Your emotions are going haywire! If you don’t relax at least a little bit, your emotions will vanish and leave you as a emotionless husk!

Pinkie: T? Why was this written? Why are any of these stories written?

twow: Hell if I know. I asked myself that during 120 Days of Blueblood.

Pinkamena: It’s just, I don’t even LIKE getting this pissed at a story.

twow: And I don’t like seeing it. It’s not fun seeing my friend turn from bubbly to kill mode. The important thing to remember is that it’s not real.

Pinkamena: Wish that wasn’t so hard.

twow: Heh. I know.

Pinkie: Hey T?

twow: What?

Pinkie: Could we maybe take a quick nap?

twow: Huh?

Pinkamena: I know this emotion shifting isn’t gonna quit, but maybe a nap will help me calm down.

twow: Sure. I don’t have a problem with that. You Dash?

Dash: (from TV) No, go ahead. I don’t like Pinkie upset either.

(Pinkie latches onto twow, hugging them and going limp)

twow: Did...did she just pass out on my shoulder?

Dash: Think so.

twow: Huh. Guess I’ll take a brief nap as well.

(Two hours pass)

Pinkie: WAKE UP T!

twow: Gah, what the hell?!

Pinkie: Sorry, but we’ve been sleeping for a few hours.

twow: I feel a bit better, you?

Pinkie: I think my emotions are stable now.

twow: Really?

Pinkamena: Or not. Dang.

twow: (smiles) Ready to finish it?

Pinkamena: I’m going to rip it a new one.

twow: I see why Fallen likes you so much.

*BUZZ*

twow and Pinkie: We’ve got story sign!

        For a brief second she felt her father's hooves move away only to feel a new object pressing against her virgin slit. She didn't have to look back to figure out what was poking her hole.

Pinkie: “Dad, my ruler doesn’t go there!”

twow: “I just wanted to make sure my dick would fit.”

She could feel the slight twitching of it, along with a cold, stickiness. A mix of anticipation and fear raced through her mind, while her heart pounded in her chest like a chef kneading dough. Pumpkin tried to calm herself down but before she could her father made his move.

        Pumpkin gasped and froze up as her father slid his erect penis inside her in one swift motion.

twow and Pinkamena: (twitch)

twow: It’s okay...we can do this.

Pinkamena: (latches onto twow)

twow: You okay th-

Pinkamena: Shut up and let me hug you.

 Carrot felt her tightness clench around his dick for the first inch, and he started to groan with pleasure as he started to slide the rest in.  For Carrot, she was so tight it was almost like it was trying to push his erection out while he pushed it in. For Pumpkin, she was panting while stars swam around in her eyes as she stared at the head board.

Pinkamena: If my first time was like this, I’d hate sex forever.

twow: I don’t even reMEMBER my first time. Good things about it, anyway.

Pinkamena: Aren’t you a virgin?

twow: I consider myself one.

Carrot wanted to get more of it into her. Leaning his body forward, he put his weight on her back; pinning her down as he spoke to her.

        “Sweetheart, spread your legs a bit further for me.”

twow: I didn’t have to say “spread em!”

Pinkie: The story’s trying to get on your good side.

        The words didn’t even register with the young filly's mind as her father spoke. Everything seemed to turn into a blur for Pumpkin Cake. Her father’s voice sounded like incoherent mumbles. Realizing she wasn’t listening, Carrot took it upon himself to correct her.

twow: Don’t think that makes you a good father.

Pinkamena: Because you have passed the point of redemption.

 Using his back legs, he pushed against hers to nudge them a bit more wide. Now he had perfect access for one final thrust to send it all the way in. She may have been a smaller filly but he wasn’t the biggest of stallions.

twow: But she’s STILL a small filly!

Pinkie: It’s still gonna hurt her, and you should keep that from happening!

 It could have been another reason why his wife barely showed interest in him anymore, but putting the stupid thought to the side he started to pull his hips back slowly, drawing out of her quivering, pussy.

twow: Damn, that comma is a ninja!

Pinkie: It just slipped right in!

 He was more than big enough for his daughter. That's all that mattered now.

twow: Gonna add that to your list of sentences to never hear again Pinkie?

Pinkamena: Done and done.

        For Pumpkin, the feeling of the slightest movement was painful, and almost overwhelming. Her mind couldn’t form proper thoughts, while it got filled with primal notions of panic and pain as the erection continued to move out of her.

Pinkie: Can he just not see that she’s not enjoying it at all?!

twow: The logic has never been with this one.

        When it was almost out, he finally stopped moving and just rested his head against her neck so he could give her a fair warning for what was about to happen.

        “Sweetie, this next part will hurt a bit, but I’m not trying to hurt you okay?”

twow: “I just want to ravage your body.”

Pinkamena: “Everypony also does this as well.

        Before her senses could return to her and she could answer, he slammed his hips forward again, forcefully, driving his cock all the way inside, to the hilt.

twow: (jumps) FUCK!

Pinkamena: What in the hell is WRONG with you?!

twow: One shove right in would hurt like a bitch!

        Pumpkin gave off a pained moan and for the first time in her life, she climaxed. Her mind blanked and her legs nearly buckled from the sensation she just felt. It was like a breaker just went off in her head and nothing was responding for her.

Pinkie: And she ran out of fuses.

twow: ♫ I’m going to the hardware stooooore!♫

 She wanted to scream from the sudden influx of pain but her mouth just stayed agape, only letting out small squeaks.

        The climax never registered with Carrot as he got lost in his mind paradise. He could feel her muscles tightening around his aching shaft, making the pleasure that much better.

twow: For YOU.

 He was sure he would lose it and just fuck her as hard as he could on the spot, but even in his glory he still held back remembering it was his daughter.

Pinkamena: Didn’t stop you from jamming the whole thing inside her, huh?

 Pulling his body up, and slowing pulling his erection out, he started to notice a bit of red coating his shaft along with a bit of white. Seeing the white he paused for a second but then just smiled. He made his little girl climax and for some reason a sense of pride ran through his mind.

twow: And he completely ignored the red.

Pinkie: It’s okay T, we’ll say he’s colorblind.

 Pushing his body back down, he leaned back into her neck and spoke.

        “It’s alright." Carrot Cake said as he kissed her neck, "That feeling you just felt is a proper feeling. It’s also a sign you’re growing up into a mare.”

        Pumpkin’s senses finally started to return to her and she heard the words that time around.

twow: “Uh, I think he’s lying to me...”

Pinkie: “I don’t wanna be a mare anymore.”

 Being just a child, the idea of growing up into a mare sounded appealing. Every child wants to be thought of as a grown up. As Pumpkin lay on her belly with her father's dick inside her, Pumpkin couldn't help but wonder if all children felt as strangely as she did when growing up.

twow: Seeing as how most children don’t get virtually raped by their father, I’m gonna         say no.

Pinkamena: That was rather dark of you.

twow: I’m in a dark place right now.

        She wanted to say something to him, but before she could even get her words together, Carrot started to get into a slow motion of rutting her. Her mind blanked and her eyes nearly glazed over as the rock motion turned into a small rhythm.

Pinkie: It’s like riding a bike!

twow: Or flying a plane.

        Fucking her felt great.  It was far better than what he could ever get from his wife if she ever got in the mood.  Carrot was sure he felt every vein in his shaft tingling with a sweet sensation as he continued to pound her backside. Every pounding motion from him made the bed rock and lightly hit the wall, but light enough to not hurt her more than he wanted to.

twow: Wait, did you WANT to hurt her?

Pinkamena: And did you forget the part when you entered her?

twow: He was lost in pleasure, remember?

        The pounding was starting to take its toll on the small filly, and that same feeling she felt before when his dick penetrated her was starting to come back. Her legs could barely support her own weight along with Carrots, making them tremble. Eventually her front legs gave out and they fell to the bed, making her backside dip up a bit.

twow: Just a bit? Hell, I’m surprised that she didn’t collapse completely.

 Worried he hurt her somehow, Carrot stopped.

        “Are you alright?”

        Pumpkin just replied with exhausted breathes, and Carrot could feel everyone now that he wasn’t moving at all.

Pinkie: (gasps) Everyone’s been around him the whole time!!!

twow: O_O

With every breath Carrot felt her small frame tightening around his impaled erection.

        “Sweetheart?”

        Carrot was a bit worried. He was trying to be gentle but feared he may have pushed too hard into her.

twow: Do I even need-

Pinkamena: You don’t.

 Pumpkin took a second to catch her breath before her front legs started to push back up for her. Carrot could feel his erection moving with her body, causing him to groan under his breath.

        “I-I’m just sore…”

twow: “And scared.”

Pinkamena: “And violated.”

        Her voice sounded rattled and very quiet. Carrot frowned at her timing to start whining about being sore.

Pinkamena: Oh damn, where’s those earplugs...

twow: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!

He was getting close, just a few more minutes and he would have got off successfully. Determined to get off, he needed a way to make her feel better. At the corner of his eye, he saw her orange horn and got an idea. Back in his school days he learned some interesting quirks about pegasi and unicorns and how either their horn or their wings were very sensitive to touch.

twow: I really need to figure out if that’s true.

Pinkie: Why don’t you ask one of our friends?

twow: Because if it IS, I don’t want them to think I’m hitting on them.

Pinkie: You could always ask F-

twow: Story time!

        “I know something that will help.” He said curving his neck down, towards her horn.

        Before she could ask him what, she froze up. That same sand paper like tongue of his brushed up against her horn making her gasped out in surprise. As she felt his tongue dance around it, she felt a jolt of energy shoot from her brain and all over her body.

Pinkie: “Caffeine rush!”

twow: “It’s terrible, but wonderful at the same time. It’s like freedom in a cup!”

 Again her legs gave out and she let out the squeaky sounds of a failed suppressed moan. Carrot didn’t stop, rather instead pressed his tongue harder just to see her getting aroused from it. Another jolt of energy pulsed through her a few more times before her pain started to ebb away and get replaced with relaxation.

twow: Fuck. Took long enough.

Pinkamena: This is personal, but did YOU start enjoying it?

twow: Me? No, not at all.

Pinkamena: Then you see why it would take so long.

        “See? Told you it would help,” Carrot said to her as he continued on.

        Pumpkin couldn’t deny the fact it felt good, and wished she read more about the sensitivity in unicorn horns, but for now she was just enjoying the treatment against her better judgement. Carrot felt her body starting to relax and got ready to amp up his game.

twow: He increased his speed by 12%.

Pinkie: I’ll grab the seatbelts!

 Baring his teeth slightly, he clamped ever so gently around the end of it and started to flick his tongue repeatedly.

        “D-Dad that…” Was all she could moan out from his actions.

        The small filly's body trembled with pleasure, and her heart beat faster in her chest.

Pinkie: “We’re going too fast!”

twow: “Bail out!”

  Carrot knew she was relaxed enough for him to continue on. Spreading his legs, he started to work his shaft in and out of her slowly.

        Her body couldn’t take the combined sensations made her give off a rather loud moan.

twow: I think a comma ninja'd out again.

Pinkie: No T, I think a few WORDS died here.

 Had her mother been up, she would have definitely heard it, but sadly both ponies forgot about the other pony on the other side of the wall that was now growing more and more curious to the soft banging on the wall as well as the loud moan he just heard…

twow: Wait a second, where the fuck are YOU Pinkie?

Pinkamena: I guess I just don’t exist here?

        Carrot resumed his speed from before and started to wonder how to finish off. Though he said he was going to try and give her a baby, he wanted to enjoy his daughter as much as he could and before he was even remotely ready to go for a child for her. It was highly doubtful he would risk the idea of pregnancy considering it could forever ruin his family's image.

twow: Might I bring your attention back to the fact that you are FUCKING YOUR DAUGHTER?!

Pinkamena: It hasn’t stopped him this far.

        Not worrying about waking his drunken wife, Carrot started to grunt loudly and rammed himself harder into her. Pumpkin ignored the pain, instead focusing on the oral treatment her horn was still getting.

Pinkie: If she jerked her head back, she’d stab him in the mouth!

twow: I could live with that.

The bed squeaked from the bouncing bodies and the head board banged repeatedly against the wall as the act started to near its big finish.

        Of course by now the young colt by the name of Pound Cake was at the bedroom door peeking inside and watching the act take place before his eyes.

twow: Oooooooh, shit.

Pinkamena: NO POUND, GET OUT OF THERE!

He stayed quiet and just watched his father doing something to his sister. Pound remembered seeing something similar in some of the Playpony magazines he snuck out of his dad's stash. As he watched, he felt his own dick starting to harden up from the scene.

twow: He’s gonna join in. (smacked by Pinkie) Wait, YOU hit me?!

Pinkie: That’s horrible T!

 Young Pound Cake wasn’t sure what to think and just slowly moved away from the door so his dad didn’t see him.

        While both kids were the same age, Pound was more smart and knowledgeable then his sister was.

twow: At least HE knows. If the story had said that he didn’t I would have personally hunted down the author and given him a gift of shotgun rain.

 He wasn’t naive or stupid and knew that his sister having sex with their father would lead to horrible things for the family. He needed to tell his mom and hope she would figure out a way to deal with it, but he would do it once his dad had gone for the day.

Pinkamena: Did he just not remember that he has a son?

twow: Wait a second. Did he really forget to lock the damn door?!

 It was Sunday and Pound knew his father always went for coffee at Mr. Rich’s house and he was going to tell his mother then. Not wanting to hear the sounds of sex, he made his way for the stairs and trotted down them rather awkwardly.

twow: Yeah, I’d get the fuck out as well.

        Back in the room Carrot was going all out on the small filly. He could taste raw magic starting to leak from his daughter's horn, putting a very odd taste in his mouth.

Pinkie: “It tasted like crushed dreams and regret.”

twow: “It was delicious.”

She was moaning loudly but she was able to keep it to a reasonable level so no one would enter the room and see what was going on.

        “Al-almost done…” Carrot grunted as he took his lips off her horn and focused purely on his primal notion.

twow: Thank EVERYTHING.

        Pumpkin gripped the sheets with her hoof and just let her body rock mindlessly on the covers, hoping that it would all be over soon. A few more sloppy thrusts and she felt her father pull it out quickly before she felt an odd sticky substance coat her ass and back.

Pinkie: He got the glue EVERYWHERE!!!

twow: “That’s not how to do arts and crafts!”

For a few seconds her body froze up as she tried to make sense of everything that just happened to her. Whatever it was, it felt hurtful and confusing at first, but turned into something that felt magical.

twow: Please don’t associate “magic” with “rape.”

Pinkamena: And if anyone says “magical rape”, I’ll eat their soul with a fork.

Though she had the lingering feeling that what just happened was very wrong, she refused to believe her father was lying to her. She was about to move slightly when her father rested his sweaty body against hers, breathing very heavily.

twow: Why not?! Fucker isn’t perfect!

Pinkie: Do you just blindly follow everything he says?!

        “Is… is that it? Will I have a baby?” She asked curious to know if anything else was going to happen.

        "There will be time for children later," Carrot said reassuringly, "We still have lots of other things to try first."

twow: Oh dear princess, please no.

Pinkamena: I think this chapter is almost done.

        “What other things are we going to try?” Pumpkin asked getting more curious.

        “We'll do them when the time comes sweetheart, but for now there’s one last thing I wanna do.”

        Carrot quickly got up and rolled his daughter over so both their faces were meeting. Pumpkin could feel her father's sperm sticking to her back and her bedsheets.

twow: THAT’S gonna be an interesting laundry load.

Pinkamena: “What the hell is with all this glue?!”

She became quiet and looked surprised to see her father's face all sweaty and red but was even more surprised when he pressed his lips against hers and kissed her like he did before. Again, that same uneasiness hit her and she didn’t know what to do.

Pinkie: That means its a bad thing!

twow: Also means that you’re being watched.

 It seemed to last forever until he finally pulled away, only letting a thin line of saliva connect the two of them for a brief second.

        “I need you to not tell your mother about this. Only fathers and daughters know about this and if anyone else finds out, I could end up far away and never see you again.” Carrot said, wanting to make sure he was safe.

twow: I think that we could all live with that.

Pinkie: I could!

        “Where would you go?” She asked a bit confused to why she couldn’t tell her friends about the interesting thing that just happened to her.

        “I can’t say but you gotta promise to never tell anyone else.”

        “Do…you want me to Pinkie Pie promise?”

Pinkie: Do. Not.

twow: Oh shit.

        Her innocence in the question asked almost made Carrot laugh out loud, but not wanting to draw attention to the room he just smiled and hugged her body.

twow: “My silence is GOLDEN.”

        “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Carrot said as he hugged his daughter tightly and knew he was going to be a happy stallion again.

twow: Wait, why did HE say it?

Pinkamena:FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

twow: Cut it Dash. We’re done here.

Dash: (from TV) Man, I’m so sorry guys. I really didn’t know how bad that was.

twow: Not your fault Dash. How you holding up?

Pinkie: I just hated that Mr. Cake was portrayed as such a horrible pony!

twow: Not to mention the reasoning behind him wanting to screw his daughter was fucking STUPID.

Pinkamena: AND the fact that Pumpkin knew NOTHING about sex at ALL.

twow: And for some reason, the grammar mistakes got to me. I guess that they were all rather unexpected.

Pinkamena: I think we can wrap this up in one word. Twow?

twow: Yeah, I agree.

twow and Pinkamena: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!

Dash: You two did good though.

twow: Thanks, I guess.

Pinkie: Well, time to go I guess?

twow: Hold up, I can’t let you leave while your emotions have you from bubbly party pony to rage monster.

Pinkamena: Right. Can you cure it?

twow: I can try. Wanna watch a movie while I attempt it?

Pinkie: Do you have some Monty Python?

twow: Now you’re speaking my language. Hit the button Dash.

Dash: Yeah. I’ll catch you two later.

(Dash hits the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Family Bonds, Chapter 2

Well, here we are again. This was a bit of an unpleasent surprise, but I figured it’d be best to tackle this right from the start.

If you’re new to this little installment of my riffs, I was challenged by Bronystories to riff his collab with TittySparkles, Family Bonds. And the last chapter almost made me lose my shit. Always makes for a fun time, right?

Last time, we had Pumpkin’s chapter, and today we have Pound’s chapter. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Without further ado, here’s chapter two of Family Bonds.

Pinkie Pie: So, how are you two doing T?

twow: Eh, I can’t complain. Fluttershy feels the same.

Pinkie: You sure?

twow: (glances at necklace) Well, if the necklaces are still working right, then she’s calm right now.

Pinkie: Oh...so one half shows your color and the other half shows hers?

twow: (nodding) Yep. I really like this invention.

Pinkie: I just think you’re happy because you finally realized that you two are perfect for eachother. You both have been extremely happy.

twow: Yeah. It’s a good feeling.

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Speaking of that, I need to have a small talk with you, twow...

twow: Oh boy. What’s up Dash?

Dash: (sighing) It can wait.

Pinkie: What’s wrong Dashie?

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

Dash: Remember that challenge you and Pinkie did a little while ago?

twow: Think so. Why?

Dash: ...there’s another chapter.

twow: You don’t mean...

Dash: Yes twow. They updated “Family Bonds.”

(Immediately, Pinkie’s mane deflates)

twow: The hell?! I thought I cured you!

Pinkamena: So did I. I guess I hated this story a lot more then I let on.

twow: Great. Well, at least it’s a perma flat-mane.

Pinkie: I don’t think so!

twow: Damn it. I’ll have to run a few more tests. Might as well send it Dash.

Dash: Alright...and I’m sorry in advance. You two aren’t going to like this.

*BUZZ*

twow and Pinkie: We’ve got story sign!

        As Pound Cake stood in his room waiting for his father to leave the house, he tried to figure out how he would approach his sister on what he saw. He knew he was going to have to be blunt with her and tell her that what their father did to her wasn't right.

Pinkamena: Even though she should have KNOWN that.

twow: Don’t forget the fact that she barely knew what a dick was.

 Hearing the front door open and close, he knew his father had left the house for his daily visit to Mr. Rich’s place. Taking a deep breath, Pound Cake exited the room and made for his sisters closed door.

twow: “Now it’s my turn!” (curb-stomped by Pinkamena)

        Stopping a foot before it, he put his ear to the door to see if she was crying.  He listened for any verbal cues which would indicate a sexual assault. Much to his surprise it was quiet, save for the sound of magic humming.

twow: Magic can hum?

Pinkie: It was humming “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!”

 Slowly pushing it open he saw his sister was using her magic to remove the blankets and sheets from off her bed, most likely with the idea of washing them.

twow: I can’t imagine why.

Pinkie: Because she didn’t want a swimming pool on her bed!

twow: PINKIE PIE!

        “Sis? Can we talk quickly?” Pound Cake said to her as he walked in and closed the door slightly behind him. His voice startled her; causing her to drop her stained linens on the floor of her bedroom.

Pinkamena: That’s the guilt flowing through you.

twow: “It’s so cold...”

        “Hmm? Oh, Pound. What do you need?” She asked in a distracted manner. While she tried to sound calm, Pound Cake could sense that deep down her voice showed the signs of uncertainty and confusion.

twow: “What the FUCK did I just do?!”

        “I need you to listen to me. This is very important.” Pound Cake said to her in a stern tone.

Pinkie: “You are our only hope.”

twow: “You must go to the Dagobah system.”

        Pumpkin gave him a confused look, stopped what she was doing and turned to face him.

        “What is it?” She asked wondering what he wanted.

        "I saw what you did with dad, sis." Pound Cake said to his sister bluntly.

Pinkie: “And I wanted in.”

twow: “Why didn’t you ask?”

        "You saw?” Pumpkin replied a bit surprised that her brother noticed her and her father sharing the bed not even twenty minutes ago. Her face went red from shame and embarrassment.

        “I saw and heard almost everything. Why did you let him do that to you?"

twow: She had no idea what was going on?

Pinkamena: She had a feeling that it was wrong. She SHOULD have gone with it.

 Pound Cake asked as his eyes glanced towards the linen on the floor. He noticed the crusty layer of cum on her sheets.

        "I... he's my dad. He loves me. He said he wanted to show how much he loved me." Pumpkin replied as she looked down at the sheets and started to echo what her father had said.

twow: That’s a bad sign.

Pinkie: She’s turning into a Mimic!

        "That’s not proper love sis. Only parents are allowed to do that kind of thing with each other.” Pound Cake said to her shaking his head in a bit of disgust for her words.

        “W-what are you talking about? Daddy said all fathers do that with their daughters.”

twow: Pinkie, they are twins, correct?

Pinkamena: Yes. Why?

twow: (half of his necklace glowing red) How does HE know, but SHE doesn’t?!

Pumpkin replied a bit shocked that her brother was telling her that only her mother and father are allowed to do that together.

        “Dad’s a liar. What you both did was something called incest. I bet you didn’t know that it’s against the law to do that kind of thing. I thought I you were smarter than this, Pumpkin.

twow: So did I. (smacked by Pinkamena) What?

Pinkamena: It’s not her fault her dad didn’t share the details.

Didn’t you have any idea what sex was? I know we don’t start sex ed until next semester, but are you seriously telling me that you were never curious about where babies came from?” There was a hint of anger in his voice as he spoke to her, making her feel very uncomfortable.

twow: That might be the guilt talking.

Pinkie: Or that leftover cheesecake.

        Pumpkin felt a bit hurt by the sound of his voice and looked away with sadness in her eyes. Pound Cake noticed and quickly calmed himself down, realizing he was blaming her for his father’s actions.

Pinkamena: Well, at least he knows not to be mad at her.

twow: If I keep going on about the fact that she knew nothing, we’ll be here all day.

        “Sorry sis, I didn’t mean to sound mad at you. I’m just upset at what dad did. If dad really loved you, he wouldn't have used you like he did," Pound said, "I love you Pumpkin. Real love, not lust masquerading as genuine affection. All dad did was use you for his own personal gain."

twow: And a toy. REMEMBER?

Pinkie: The left side of your necklace is bright blue.

twow: Fluttershy’s worried now. Damn it.

        Pumpkin clammed up at hearing her brothers’ words. She could see the look of disdain on his face and felt there was a truth to his words. Yet how could there be? Her father never lied to her and she trusted him fully.

Pinkamena: How in the hell will you still not except it?!

twow: And has Pound ever lied to you? There’s no reason for him to lie.

        "You... you don't know what... I... I... You’re lying! Y-you’re just jealous that daddy loves me more then you!” Pumpkin snapped back unwilling to accept her brothers’ truth.

        "Wha… no, that’s not it at all! Pound said, irritably, "I’m happy dad loves you more.

twow: Are you SURE about that statement?

Pinkamena: That’s probably the only thing that stopped him from screwing YOU.

(twow and Pinkamena exchange glances)

twow: We’re in a dark place right now.

Pinkamena: Agreed.

 Dad showers you with lots more attention than he does me but I rather you be more happy than me. Hmm, maybe that’s why he wanted to have sex with you because all the attention he gave you started to cloud his judgement.”

twow: Makes sense.

Pinkie: Aww! Logic is no fun!

        “Shut up! You’re just mad because daddy picked me and not you!”

        “Okay now you’re acting a bit stupid.

twow and Pinkamena: A BIT?!

What he did was wrong and he could end up going to jail for it! Why don’t you understand that!?”

        “I don’t believe you! Daddy would never lie to me!!” Pumpkin screamed at him before she ran out of her room and down the staircase.

        “Wait! Where are you going!?” Pound Cake shouted, giving chase to her sister.

Pinkie: “I’m going to find daddy!”

twow: “Don’t worry! I found this little package that said Trojan on it!”

        Before he could even make it fully down the staircase, Pumpkin ran out the door and disappeared from sight. Having a hunch on where she was going, Pound Cake ran back up to her room and saw her running into the Whitetail woods. He wanted to shout at her to come back but he knew she won’t listen to him.

twow: Tackle her.

Pinkamena: Hopefully she won’t take that as a sign of “love.”

 She was so sure that her father would never lie to her and refused to believe anything else. With a deep sigh, Pound Cake turned around and went for his room.

twow: “Time to masterbate.” (smacked by Pinkamena)

        “What am I going to do?” Pound Cake said quietly to himself as he stared out his window, towards the center of town. It had been about a few hours after his confrontation with his sister, and she wasn’t back yet. While he wanted to go and try talking to her, he opted to stay at the house and wait for her to calm down.

Pinkie: He decided to throw a party in the process!

twow: I don’t think I understand...

 As he looked on, he could see happy couples trotting along doing their business for the day. Seeing them made Pound Cake think about his parent’s life and how unhappy they were.

twow: Don’t forget about your other parent.

Pinkie: Yeah! They’re both important!

                The day had felt like it had been long but only a few hours passed since Pound Cake witnessed his father and sister having sex. After Carrot Cake left the house to go visit Mr. Rich, Pound Cake wanted to confront his sister on her weird actions. Sadly it ended in the way he didn’t want it to.

twow: I mean, didn’t we just see that happen?

Pinkamena: The author assumes that we are goldfish.

twow: Too bad I’m not smiling back.

            Being the young, adolescent colt that he was, Pound Cake would talk to other colts at school and learn lots of things he was supposed to know by his age, such as sex, parties, and mares. All those things normal teens were supposed to know about.

twow: In that case, HOW DID PUMPKIN NOT FUCKING KNOW?!

 He and his friends would always make crude remarks about rutting a mare, but as far as he knew, he was the only one who hadn't done it for real yet, or maybe his friends were bragging about something they only wished they could do.

twow: It’s probably the latter.

Pinkie: Or a lot of ponies are having a lot of secret parties!

twow: Pinkie. Ew.

 Either way, it really didn’t change his outlook on them.

                Turning his head to his side table, he noticed half-done math homework sitting there, waiting to be finished. As much as he wanted to complete it, his mind refused to think about anything else. How could he think clearly after he heard his sister getting rutted by their father?

Pinkamena: I’m surprised that he’s still sane.

twow: I know for a fact that you aren’t.

Pinkamena: (grins)

 The sound of the headboard banging against the wall and his sisters hushed moans still echoed in his mind and for some reason gave his wings a slight aching feeling.

Pinkie: Wing cramps?

twow: Because if it’s the OTHER thing I’m thinking about...

                “Is that how bad mom and dad’s marriage is? “ Pound Cake thought to himself as he started to take more mental notes about them.

twow: Kinda, yes!

                Even though he knew the town thought his parents were a happy couple, Pound knew otherwise. His mother hid her alcohol problem from prying eyes and his father hid his distaste for her just as well.

twow: How’ve they been hiding it for so long?

Pinkamena: Mind control. It’s in the sweets.

twow: (gasps)

 Turning his head to his door, Pound Cake turned the rest of his body around to exit the room and figure a way to help fix his fucked up family and hopefully get to the bottom of Pumpkin getting molested like she was.

twow: It’s 00P

Pinkie: Ponyville’s only secret agent.

        Walking to the door, Pound Cake once again wondered why his sister allowed their dad to do what he did. Maybe she didn’t agree and she was getting raped and told to be quiet. Maybe she was just curious and asked, or maybe it was a bit of both. Pound Cake didn’t know what to think and hoped his mother could give him a bit of clarification.

twow: Yes. Your drunk as shit mother will know.

Pinkamena: The logic in this is amazing!

                Walking towards the stairs, he looked over the railing and saw his mother sitting at the kitchen table, full shot glass in hoof and with her head resting against the table.

twow: Why did I think of Drak right there?

Pinkie: You mean Starfox?

twow: We’ll go with that.

 Thankfully she was still asleep after his confrontation with his sister but he wished she was up at the time so the problem could have been fixed quicker. Pound Cake wasn’t surprised to see her like that, considering on all her off days she would drink herself into a stupor.

twow: I KNOW a drinker, and even HE doesn’t do that.

Pinkamena: You’re talking about Drak again?

twow: He’s the only one I know, and you got his name right?

Pinkamena: Dark place, remember?

twow: I can’t get used to this emotion shit.

 Pound Cake never understood what drove her to it, but he knew it started after both he and his sister were born. Sometimes he thought he and his sister were the cause of her drinking, but he knew that couldn't be it, because she always seemed so happy to have the both of them around.

twow: She’s gonna be happier to see her dad now.

Pinkamena: Don’t be worse than the story.

                 As he continued to look at her, he could see why his parents’ marriage was failing and was a bit apprehensive to inform her about what he saw his father and sister doing. He didn’t want to tell her what he saw, but she needed to know what was happening between the both of them regardless.

Pinkie: He needed to know if they could join in.

twow: This story is not doing good things to your brain.

With a deep breath, Pound Cake nervously descended the stairs to confront his mother.

                “Mom?” He spoke up as he entered the kitchen area quietly.

twow: “Can we bang?” (thrown by Pinkamena)

                Cup Cake moved in her seat as she heard the voice of the young colt behind her. Moving her eyes up from the table, she felt her vision spinning as she turned around, nearly falling out of her seat to see her son.

Pinkamena: Drak would hate this.

twow: Probably.

 Her eyes refused to focus, making her see multiple images of the young pegasus staring at her with a slightly disapproved look on his face.

 She didn’t care though and quickly slammed back the shot glass and let it fall to the floor.

twow: ♫She threw it on the groooooooound!♫

Pinkie: ♫She’s an adulllllllt!♫

        Pound Cakes sadness deepened as he watched the durable shooter hit the floor and roll under the table.

twow: Multiple Pound Cakes?

Pinkie: Break out the ice cream!

                “Whash do you wash?” She said in a very slurred and annoyed tone as she pointed a very shaky hoof at him.

Pinkie: What.

twow; Something tells me the author hasn’t seen a real drunken slut.

                “I…”

                Pound Cake wasn’t sure now would have been the best time to talk to her about what he saw but she needed to know before it got more out of hoof then it already is.

                “I…saw dad and sis doing something earlier…” Pound Cake finally got his words out and waited for his mother to respond.

twow: “It was some sort of board game.”

Pinkie: “They called it...Twister.”

twow: “The AO version.”

               “Whash they do!?” She shouted while blinking a few times to try and lock onto him, "They didn't pour mommy's drinks down the sink, did they?"

Pinkamena: Because that’s all that matters.

twow: I need to have a VERY long talk with Drak after this.

                “No they um, both of them were in Pumpkin’s room earlier doing something I think you should know about.” Pound Cake replied as he walked to the other side of the table and sat down at a chair.

twow: “They were drinking my cream soda.”

Pinkie: “Those fiends!”

                “Sho my booze is shafe? Thash good.” She replied, plastering a big drunken smile on her face as she turned to rest her wobbly body against the table.

                “Actually I think it would be worse than having your drinks poured down the sink…” Pound Cake replied starting to regret approaching her right now.

Pinkie: (gasps) They poured them in the toilet!

twow: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

               “Worsh then that!? They didn’t shet fier to the bakery, did they!?” Cup Cake suddenly shouted as she quickly got out of her chair and headed for the door.

twow: Actually, that would be pretty bad.

                Cup Cake didn’t even make it 2 steps before she stumbled on all her feet and fell to the floor in a starfish position.

twow and Pinkie: (bust up laughing)

twow: Why is that funny?

Pinkie: She looked like a starfish!

 There was a brief silence and Pound Cake just sighed softly showing his discontent, while Cup Cake gave off a low moan of pain.

                “Shweetheart…cou-could you help momma up?” Cup asked, sobering up a bit from the fall.

Pinkamena: Wait, can that even happen?

twow: Maybe not a full sober up, but you’d get a bit of focus. You’d need time more then anything.

                Pound Cake said nothing and quickly trotted to his body to hers. Nuzzling his face into her side, he managed to push it under her stomach and kept going till his back was under her tummy. Pound Cake could feel his mother’s chubby gut folding over his back but he didn’t think much of it as he started to push his body upward.

twow: It felt like jello.

Pinkie: Blueberry flavored!

 As both of them rose up, Cup Cake was able to find her footing and was able to stand up by herself.

                “Thanksh shweetheart…” Cup Cake said to him as she moved in and attempted to nuzzle his face for his help.

twow: She missed and hit the wall.

Pinkie: Were many lives lost?

twow: No, just a few this time.

                Pound Cake wanted to move out of the way of his mother’s approaching affection, considering he hated smelling the large amount of alcohol on her breath, yet knew if he moved she would fall over from the liquor. Closing his eyes, he cringed as her foul breath went against his cheek and into his nose, putting a very uncomfortable feeling in his gut.

twow: (gags)

Pinkamena: Not gonna think about it, not gonna think about it...

                “It’s no problem mom…” Pound Cake said rather begrudgingly.

                “S-so if the bakery's not on fire, what did you wants to talk about?” Cup Cake said calmly to him, trying to sound sober enough to hear what he wanted to say.

Pinkamena: That’s the first considerate things anypony’s done in this whole story.

twow: Savor it, it won’t last.

                “How about we find someplace to sit first? With news like this, you should probably be sitting.” Pound Cake asked her as he moved from out of under her flabby gut and turned for the staircase.

                “Thash sounds good.” Cup Cake replied as she slowly turned her body around and started to walk for the staircase as well.

twow: She’s gonna need some Benadryl.

Pinkie: Or a sugar laced cupcake!

twow: Cupcakes can’t solve everything.

Pinkie: A mare can dream, T!

                Her steps were very wobbly and equally unstable as she started to take her first steps up the stairs. Fearing she would miss a step and tumble down the stairs, Pound Cake went behind her body to be a block. As they both walked up, Pound Cakes eyes could see her bare backside swaying softly in front of his face.

twow: Oh mai.

Pinkie: I guess Pound was really “stair-ing” her down!

 Any normal stallion or colt would have loved to see it from a distance but up close like Pound Cake was he found it very unappealing and very unkempt, along with a nasty smell that reminded him of rotten fish.

twow: Oh, EW!

Pinkie: I knew something was fishy about this paragraph!

  Looking away from it, he just continued to walk behind her until she finally made it up the stairs without tripping much to his surprise.

                “We’ll talk af-after I ush the bathroom.” Cup Cake as she turned her body in the direction of it to do her business.

twow: Please, Do NOT stop her.

                “Alright, I’ll wait for you in your room.” Pound Cake replied as he spread his wings and flew over his mother and into her room to wait.

Pinkie: Don’t go into the cave without a flash light!

                As Pound Cake landed on the floor, the familiar smell of liquor greeted his nose and he saw a good part of the source lying on the side of the bed, sprawled out all over floor.

Pinkie: Wait, all over floor?

twow: ♫All over floor! All over floor!♫

 Looking at the empty bottles, Pound Cake could see labels ranging from vodka to ever clear and wondered just how his mother could drink so much like she did and how his father even dealt with it.

twow: Ya know, Everclear is one word, should be capitalized and no creature that exists can drink it straight!

Pinkamena: How did you know that?

twow: I could FEEL Drak’s rage flowing from here.

Draklox: (from distance) GET YOUR ALCOHOL RIGHT, MORON!

Pinkamena: Oh.

twow: Yeah...

                Thinking about his father, Pound Cake started to figure out why he was turning to Pumpkin for his adult activities instead of his mother for any sort of affection. The sudden loud rumbling sound bellowing from the bathroom only added to that thought making his stomach turn slightly.

twow: If he wasn’t sure before, he knows for sure now.

Pinkamena: Horrible way to realize it.

Swallowing back the feeling of vomiting, he trotted to the bed and sat down on his father's side of the bed. He glanced to his left and noticed the large sweat stain in the shape of Cup Cake's body on her side of the bed.

Pinkie: Looks like she had her own swimming pool!

twow: Oh my GOD Pinkie!

                “That's just nasty,” Pound Cake said with disgust in his voice as he moved the light brown blanket over the sweat stain to make the room at least a bit more presentable.

                Looking behind his head, Pound Cake saw the room window closed and thought it would be smart to open it up and fill the room with some fresh air

twow: But the fresh air rejected him.

Pinkie: “We can’t go in there! It’s not sanitary!”

. Hopping off the bed, he trotted over to it, unlocked it, and then opened it up, allowing sound to enter.  The once silent room was now replaced with the sound of distant voices, clopping hooves and a soft wind that carried a fragrant scent from the flower stall not far from his place.

twow: “Rosebud.”

The smell helped put the disgusting room in the back of his mind for a few seconds but it came back as he heard the sound of the toilet flushing along with the clopping of his mother’s hooves. Turning back from the window, Pound Cake saw his mom leaving the washroom and making her way towards the bed.

Pinkamena: If she picks up a bottle...

twow: Let’s hit her with it.

                “Wh-what did you want to talk about dear?” Her voice sounded drunk but he could tell she was trying to act a bit more sober then before.

                “You should sit down first.” Pound Cake replied as he walked from the window and climbed onto the bed, waiting for her.

Pinkie: “This is gonna be a doozy.”

twow: Huh, maybe Pound has Pinkie Sense.

                Cup Cake smiled and trotted to the bed, pushing a few of the bottles to the side so she didn’t trip over them. Climbing onto the bed and sitting upward, she looked down at her gut and saw a few parts of it folding over each other, showing her she was really putting on the pounds.

Pinkamena: Didn’t the first chapter mention that? Like, eight times?

twow: Nine. Alcohol is a bitch.

He frowned and even in her drunken state, her mind started to wonder how it got to that point.

twow: Apparently, not only can alcohol make you fat, but it can switch your fucking gender!

Pinkie: (gasps) I need some of that!

twow: You do NOT.

                One time she was the hottest mare in Ponyville that every colt wanted to win over. She had the looks and she had the attitude that all of them really loved, yet the only colt she wanted at the time was Carrot Cake.

Pinkamena: We KNOW this!

twow: I’ll go grab the fishbowl.

Unlike the other colts he loved her more than just another pony to rut. That love evolved into something bigger and they ended up getting married and owning their own bakery.

twow: Cute. Really.

Pinkie: (wiping a tear) It’s so adorable!

        Sadly, it all changed when the twins were born, causing a rift to start growing between them. The fact that both their family lines are mostly earth ponies, and that it was very uncommon for ponies to propagate outside of their own races, it came as a big shock to see a unicorn and a pegasus that day in the hospital.

Pinkie: But none of us really cared! It was a miracle!

twow: And a damn fine one at that.

 It was a miracle to be sure but it also started a bunch of rumors that she was sleeping around with other ponies. The rumors started to get to her husband Carrot Cake and he slowly became distant from her. The dying love from her husband triggered something in her mind to try and cope with the sorrow of the situation.

twow: And it was still a better lovestory than Twilight.

                Looking down at her son, Cup Cake did her best to focus on him. He was much like his father was in his youth. Caring, helpful, and very supportive when she was at her lowest. If it wasn’t for his wings and his sister’s horn, then Cup Cake won’t have descended into her sorrow.

twow: Hey! It’s Mr. Tense Change!

Pinkie: Hai!

She didn’t hate her kids, and in fact was thankful for both of them being born in different races. It made work around the bakery easier and it opened up a new spectrum family activities.

twow: One of the activities was “finding the missing word.”

Pinkie: I call first!

                “S-so, what did you want to talk about sweetie?” Cup Cake said still trying to not slur her words while speaking to him.

twow: “It’s about this cake. It was supposed to be apple flavor, but I put a pumpkin in it.”

Pinkie: “And I added a really big carrot.”

                Its…it’s about dad and Pumpkin. I- saw them doing something this morning I think you should know about…” Pound Cake said quietly, looking down at the bed, still afraid to bring it up.

twow: “They were playing leapfrog..” (smacked by Pinkamena)

Pinkamena: About to cross the line, twow.

                Cup Cake was a bit nervous to hear what he had to say but she didn’t say a word and waited for him to finish up.

                “I…know what sex is from school and all, but I saw both of them doing it earlier today while you were still sleeping.”

            Cup Cake froze up when her son spoke these words.

twow: “SHE WAS FROZEN TODAY!”

            “What did you just say?” Cup Cake said almost fully sobering up at words she was hearing.

            “I saw dad having sex with Pumpkin Cake.” Pound Cake said bluntly knowing it was about to get very heated with his mother.

Pinkamena: Huh. At least it was quick?

twow: We have more story. It’s not gonna be quick.

            Cup didn’t want to believe what her son said. Her husband who had been faithful to her for so many years finally broke from the strain of the rumors and lack of sex between the two of them.

            “Don't lie to me, Carrot would never do that to our little girl! Don't you lie to me young stallion!” Cup Cake said starting to get very enraged with what she was hearing.

twow: Do you really think that your son would randomly be all like, “OH MOM! DAD WAS FUCKING MY SISTER!”

Pinkie: Yeah! That’s just silly!

           “Mom I’m not lying! I saw them having sex I swear!” Pound Cake repeated trying to convince his mother his wasn’t lying at all.

            “I don’t believe you! Where's your father now!? Where's your sister now for that matter!?” Cup Cake asked lunging forward and pinning her son to the bed, demanding answers from him.

Pinkamena: Seeing as how she’s as pissed as hell, I don’t think that the word “asked” fits here.

twow: More like “screamed in rage”.

            “A few minutes after dad left, I tried to talk to her but she won’t listen to me! She kept saying that he was doing it because he wanted to show how much he loved her. I told her he was a liar and she left the house!

twow: “She found the birth control pills I was saving for my marefriend!”

I managed to catch a glimpse of her running to the Whitetail Woods from her window. I-I even saw semen stains on her sheets if you don’t believe me! Go look, I’m not lying!” Pound Cake answered quickly scared his drunken mother would start beating him for his supposed lies.

Pinkie: We got another ninja comma, twow!

twow: Call the FBI.

            Cup Cake stopped and realized her son was speaking the truth after all. Whenever Pumpkin Cake got very upset and sad, she would run to the woods for a few hours and return by dinner very quiet and distant.

Pinkie: But what if he’s lying and she’s in the basement?

twow: Helping Pinkie make cup- (throttled by Pinkamena)

Pinkamena: DO NOT REFERENCE THAT RIGHT NOW.

twow: (gasping) Noted.

The irony to the situation was Carrot Cake would always comfort her when she got back and just thinking about that made Cup Cake hate her slimy bastard of a husband she had and always been faithful to.

twow: Well, him and your beer bottle.

Pinkie: That’s a little harsh.

twow: Not harsh enough.

Cup Cake's sorrow over the loss of her daughter's innocence was quickly supplanted by her desire for revenge. While she wanted to kill her husband for his selfish and evil actions, a very interesting idea started to grow in her alcohol-addled mind.

twow: “If he’s gonna play Twister, then I’ll make him play Sorry!

        "So the horny bastard thinks he can rob our children of their virginity, does he?" Cup Cake thought, "Well, two can play at that game!"

Pinkamena: Oh sweet princess.

twow: We’re breaking before this.

twow: Well Pinkie, it took us long enough, but we’re here.

Pinkie: I really, really don’t wanna go though this.

twow: Neither do I Pinks. Trust me.

Pinkamena: It’s just...the fact that the entire family is just so broken.

twow: Yeah, that is a major kick in the mouth.

Pinkie: And, I’m not even in the picture. It’s like I was dumped on the side of the road.

twow: Oh, Pinkie. You and I know that that would never happen.

Pinkie: You sure?

twow: YOU should be more sure than me. You live with the Cakes.

Pinkie: Well, they do have a good relationship.

twow: Go on.

Pinkie: And they love their kids.

twow: Yeah...

Pinkie: And they’d never have to resort to having sex with them!

twow: Yup. It’s hard, but we need to remember that this isn’t the family that we know. I’m not going to try to force us through the whole sex scene, but let’s try to get a decent chunk done.

Pinkamena: Yeah. Let’s tear this shit apart.

twow: Fallen would be so proud.

*BUZZ*

twow and Pinkamena: We’ve got story sign!

            Calming herself down a bit and letting the unfortunate truth sink in, she locked her glazed eyes onto her son to take in his features.

twow: “I never noticed that his right wing was shorter than his left...”

Pinkie: Better grab the scissors!”

 While he was shaking and worried he would be hit for telling her what he saw, Cup Cake started to notice he looked much like his father in his youth. Young, lean, well kept, and rather handsome.

Pinkamena: Because we didn’t know that already.

twow: I got the fishbowl! Let me put some water in it.

Back then Carrot loved her and showered her with attention and now she wanted it all over again.

twow: That ninja comma from earlier went on strike.

Pinkie: He had to find a replacement!

 She needed to feel the sensual touch of a lover in order to cope with the horror of her reality.

twow: Well, if you hadn’t drank to the point where you looked like a damn blue marshmallow, maybe your husband would be willing more often!

            “hmmm…Sweetie do you have a marefriend yet?” Cup Cake asked a bit more calmly, wanting to know if her little colt was about to get a rather complex love life.

twow: I have a bad feeling that it’s gonna be complex anyway.

Pinkamena: No, just creepy as hell.

            “Uh…no. Why?” Pound Cake answered not sure how to rationalize the sudden shift in her mood and the conversation.

            “That’s good then. I’m also sorry for snapping at you for telling me the truth…” She said to him as she moved her left hoof to his chest and rubbed it.

twow and Pinkie: AHHHHH! BAD TOUCH!

             Though she was still a bit drunk, she was lacing her words with honey, hoping to draw her son into a comfortable position. Sadly for Pound Cake, it was doing to opposite affect and scaring him that his mother was suddenly apologizing and starting to rub his chest in a romantic fashion.

twow: Are we sure the AUTHOR isn’t drunk off his ass?

Pinkie: I don’t even know how “to opposite affect!”

twow: I think the ninja comma made some of those words disappear.

 He wasn’t sure to what make of it. On one hoof it was like she was showing him affection in a motherly way, but on the other there was something off and disturbing about it.

twow: Because that made sense.

Pinkamena: Is Pound losing his intelligence as this story goes on?

As odd as it was, he was starting to feel that stupid ache in his wings from before.

Pinkie: Wing cra-

twow: “IT’S NOT WING CRAMPS!”

            “It-it's okay mom, I…I’m going to go finish my homework.” Pound Cake replied as he started to scoot out from under her, wanting to get out of the awkward situation before something happened.

twow: Might be a bit too late for that.

            “Ah! Not yet. We need to talk about something else first.” Cup Cake told him as she moved her hoof to his tail and pressing against it to stop his retreat.

            “What do you want to talk about?” He asked worried on what was going to happen next.

twow: Ninja Comma assassinated “for” and replaced it with a surrogate “on” that was working for him.

Pinkie: And he still had him at minimum wage!

            “Sweetheart. You said you know what sex is right?”

            “Y-yeah…”

            “Have you ever done it?”

twow: “Yes. I have.”

Pinkie: “I couldn’t help it! When I put that bagel into the microwave...”

            Pound blushed as his mother asked him the question no mother should ask their young teenage kids.

twow: Unless they’re just checking up on you. My mom did that.

Pinkamena: Not ALL mothers are sexually attracted to their sons.

It would end with him either getting snapped at for sleeping around with mares, or it would end up with his mother being very disappointed in her son for not having the talent in bedding a mare. Considering her drunken and fragile state, Pound Cake wasn’t sure how she would react.

twow and Pinkamena: GET THE FUCK OUT.

            “I’ve…seen mares presenting themselves…” He squeaked out as he started to turn red and looked at the wall too embarrassed to face his mother

Pinkie: T! We got a postcard!

twow: From?

Pinkie: Ninja Comma. He sends his regards from the state of Haywaii.

twow: Lucky bastard.

. As he spoke to her, his mind started to think about the images he had seen in his stash of playmares magazines, while at the same time making his wings start to flutter a bit.

twow: Hold up. Does that say playMARES?!

Pinkamena: Yeah.

twow: So, he’s gay, and his mom is forcing him to be straight.

Pinkamena: Looks like it.

twow: ...What is WRONG with this story?!

 Cup Cake wasn’t stupid to what his wing movements meant and knew a wing boner was approaching, making him try his best to not let it out at all.

twow: So, did he turn into Cup?

Pinkie: Or was he psychic and didn’t want to show it?

            “Just in your magazines or in real life?” Cup Cake asked him very aware of his poorly hidden stash.

            “Wha!? I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Pound Cake snapped turning even more red as he learned his mother knew about the box under his floor boards.

twow: It’s not that damn deep, man.

Pinkamena: How did she know again?

twow: (dialing a number) Give me a sec to call the reason.

            “Oh come on now sweetie, all mothers know what their little boys do in their past time.

Pinkamena: Why couldn’t you just say “free time?”

twow: It was too difficult a choice.

I even know which page is your favorite…” Cup Cake said softly to him as she moved forward and spoke mere inches from his faces.

twow: Is this bitch SPYING on him?!

Pinkie: It’s page 42, isn’t it?

twow: O_O

            Pound Cake wasn’t sure if he felt violated by her invasion of his privacy or by the fact she knew what his favorite page was. The violated feeling left as her rancid breath started to brush across his face, making his stomach rather weak.

Pinkamena: Stop putting detail on that.

            “Have you ever been curious to what it’s like with a mare? I can show you.” She said to him as her hoof started to move from his tail up to a new target in mind.

twow: You ready for this Pinks?

Pinkie: Will Fluttershy get mad if I latch onto your arm?

twow: I don’t think s- (Pinkie latches onto twow’s arm)

            Pound Cake couldn’t find words for his mother’s actions, and even before he could utter a response his body tensed up as a very cold hoof brushed against his teenage nuts, making his aching wings flare open so hard a few feathers fell off.

twow: If his feathers are that damn flimsy, then how the hell does he fly?!

Pinkamena: He needs powerful strokes to keep his body in the air! How does a wingboner make feathers fly out?!

            “M-m-mom!?” His voice was on the verge of cracking and his eyes were on the verge of jumping out of their sockets from the sudden shock he just experienced.

twow: That was a shock-

Pinkamena: You like your arm attached to your body? Don’t say it.

            “Just relax sweetie. Momma will make you feel good…” Cup Cake said softly as she started to move her hoof in a circular motion to see what other reaction she could get out of him.

Pinke: Is she making a motion in the air?

twow: ♫Rotate your hooves in the air, if you feel right!♫

            Not wanting to be touched by his mother, Pound Cake scooted back a bit to be free of her unwanted touch.

twow: And now this is rape. Oh joy.

Pinkamena: Redundancy will make it all feel better.

            “No. This isn’t righ-mmm!” He started to say but quickly got cut off by her hoof moving in front of his mouth, pushing his body to the bed.

            “Shhh. I promise you’ll like this.” Cup Cake said as her free hoof moved back to his sack and resumed rubbing it.

twow: Taking that back. NOW this is rape.

            Pound Cake tried to move away but his mother quickly moved her hoof from his mouth and to his chest in order to make sure he didn’t move away from her. Unable to break free of her hold, Pound Cake reluctantly laid still and let his mother massage his nuts gently.

Pinkie: And then she put them in a cake!

twow: Pinkie Pie...

Everything about it felt wrong to him. From what he learned about sex it was only supposed to be between mothers and fathers to show how much they loved each other. Logically putting it together his mother only seemed to be doing it as a way to get back at his father and as a cry for attention.

twow: This motherfucker is SMART.

Pinkie: Then WHY is he still in the room?! Kick her in the head!

            “Mom…this…this isn’t right…” Pound Cake stammered out getting a brief opening to speak to her as his mother’s gentle hoof massaging was starting to get a negative result in Pounds eyes.

Pinkamena: STARTING to?!

twow: Maybe he’s not as smart as I thought.

            Cup ignored her little boys’ words

twow: Her boys have words?

Pinkie: She has more foals?

 and locked her eyes on his little stallionhood that was growing at a steady rate. Thinking about it, calling it little wasn’t a proper term, rather it was about the same size as his fathers.

twow: WOW. I think Carrot should be ashamed.

Pinkie: T!

Considering his was a bit smaller than the average stallion she would have been a bit disappointed, but it didn’t disappoint her, rather considering Pound Cake was only half his full grown size, he would turn into a well-endowed stallion once he was finished growing.

twow: That’s...a good thing?

Pinkamena: I really don’t know anymore.

        "S-stop," Pound Cake said, "This is wrong."

            “There’s nothing wrong about this," Cup Cake said, "You know sex is special between two ponies because it shows how much they love each other. Well right now I love you more than your father.” She spoke softly as she moved back a bit and brought her face in front of his penis.

twow: “Let’s have kids.”

Pinkie: “I’ll take them on the weekends.

            “Mom please! You’re not thinking straight! You're drunk!” Pound Cake begged not wanting any of her inebriated affections.

twow: Ninja comma didn’t want any of them either.

            Trying to scoot back a bit on the bed, he wanted to distance himself from his mother, hoping she would snap out of it and come to her senses.

twow: I guess that Pound’s trying to cover the bed in shit.

Pinkie: Maybe he just has a really bad itch!

He didn’t scoot much until she quickly moved her hooves to his front hooves, pinning them to the bed so she could enjoy her little boy like she wanted to.

            “Don’t be like that sweetie, you’ll love this…” Cup Cake said licking her lips, getting ready to taste his young, twitching erection.

twow and Pinkie: BAD TOUCH STOP IT!

            “But mom I-GRAH!!” Pound Cake started to say but was quickly cut off by the feeling of something wet and warm wrapping around the head of his penis, which made his head jerk back and stare at the roof.

twow: Pound developed a case of X-Ray vision so he could see through the ceiling to the roof.

Pinkie: He saw Ceiling Cat looking back at him.

            Letting the feeling pass, Pound Cake looked toward his mother and saw her mouth was gently wrapped around the tip while he felt her tongue moving in a circular motion making him feel rather tense and embarrassed.

twow: I mean, it’s not like you couldn’t bean her in the head or something.

Pinkamena: At least try to poke her in the eye.

            “Mhmmm…” Cup Cake moaned into the tip as she stared into her sons’ very confused face.

            Pound Cake wasn’t sure to what to do and tried to squirm free of her hold. Cup Cake refused to ease up, determined to get a bit of revenge against her lecherous husband for what he did. She would make him enjoy it if it was the last thing she ever did.

twow: So, she’s fucking Pound to get revenge on Carrot.

Pinkie: Not even I have a joke for that.

        Pushing a bit harder on his front hooves, Cup Cake decided to show her son how a mare gives a proper blowjob. Positioning her head a bit better, Cup Cake moved her head downward and took a solid 3/4ths of it down her throat before she had to ease up.

twow: You couldn’t get 3/4 of two inches down?

Pinkamena: I think the story forgot about her mouth.

        The feeling of her whole mouth taking in his dick, Pound Cake froze up and moaned softly as he felt a bit of a good feeling from it. It still felt wrong that his own mother was attempting to get him off, but for some reason there was a bit of enjoyment out of it.

twow: I feel so unclean right now.

            “Did you like that? You’ll love the next few minutes if you did…” Cup Cake said taking her mouth off for a second to speak, before she put it back in her mouth and started to slowly bob her head for him.

twow: I mean, it IS hard to talk with a dick in your mouth.

Pinkamena: Speaking from experience?

twow: ...fuck you.

Pinkamena: What’s wrong?

twow: I miss your happy side.

            Pound Cake’s young mind was conflicted. Sex was always talked about by the older and younger colts as something all males should do with any mare they could. They talked about how awesome it felt and actually making it to the intimate part was the hardest of them all. Pound was there for sure, but he couldn’t enjoy it considering it was his mother.

twow: NOPONY should enjoy that.

Pinkamena: Too bad he doesn’t have a choice.

 He could brag about how he finally lost his virginity but what would everyone think when they discovered it was his own mother? He would have to keep this act a secret or get frowned upon for his incestuous acts that were forced upon him. He couldn’t enjoy it mentally, but his young body was telling him otherwise.

twow: His body is fighting against him.

Pinkie: And he’s losing.

            The way his mother’s mouth moved showed just how experienced she was in her older age. Every motion felt smooth, nurturing, and loving, in the only way a mother could provide. If it weren’t for her unkempt body and alcohol problems, she would still be the mare of the town even in her old age.

Pinkie: I thought the story told us already!

twow: Fuck the bowl. Bring out the aquarium!

            The minutes slowly past and Pound Cake had ceased any attempts from trying to break free from her rather strong grasp and started to accept it. Soon he felt a familiar feeling in his gut just like the times he had clopped it to one of his magazines and knew he was in for a big finish.

twow: Ninja Comma 2: The, Revenge

            “M-mom…I-I’m gonna…” Pound Cake stammered out trying to give his mom far warning of his impending orgasm.

            Cup Cake right away knew he was nearing but showed no signs of slowing down; rather she started going as fast as she could to see just how much of his warm seed would gush into her mouth.

twow: But only two drops came out.

Pinkamena: And nothing of value was lost.

 She only had to wait a few seconds before Pound Cake let off a loud sigh which was followed by his semen launching itself into her throat. She stopped moving just so she could swallow lots of it so none could end up getting on the bed or on either of their coats.

twow: That sounded like it came from a bloody third grade textbook.

Pinkamena: It’s so childish!

 Almost swallowing all of it, Cup Cake left a bit in her mouth for a special purpose as she removed her lips from his still hard erection and smiled.

            Pound Cake was too busy trying to caught his breath from his first ever blow job and the only thing he could see was the roof with a little bit of stars in his vision.

Pinkie: But Shogun Tense Shift was making it too hard!

 His vision suddenly became obstructed by the view of his mother looming over him signaling she wasn’t done with her little boy yet.

twow: Ninja Comma III: Can’t Keep Up.

 Resting her plump, warm body against his, Pound Cake wasn’t sure what to think until his mother leaned into his mouth and locked lips with him. For a brief second he felt confusion to why she would kiss him on the lips like she was, and the next he felt something warm and slimy enter his mouth.

Pinkie: Her tongue was all slimy?

twow: EW.

 It didn’t take him long to figure out that his mother didn’t swallow every last bit of his semen and was now bent now making him have a bit of it in his mouth to swallow. He tried to protest and wiggle free which only made him swallow it by accident.

Pinkamena: I can’t anymore.

twow: What did that even MEAN?!

 Once Cup Cake felt him throat move a bit, she moved herself off his body and smiled.

Pinkie: ...What?

twow: “I think that’s about enough life for me for one day, let me check the time...”

            “Taste good doesn’t it?” Cup Cake quietly as she licked her lips to get any remaining seed off of them, "All little colts need to clean up after themselves when they make messes."

twow: Don’t wanna pull a Twilight, now do we? (smacked by Twilight)

Pinkamena: I have no idea how that happened, and I don’t care.

            “Ahhhhh...that…was gross!” Pound Cake whined shaking his head to try and get the horrible flavor out of his mouth.

            Rolling to the side of the bed, Pound Cake tried to spit out any remnants just to try and get the taste out of his mouth.

twow and Pinkamena: WE UNDERSTAND!!!!

twow: I need to go dig out a lake at this rate. Aquarium isn’t enough.

 It didn’t help him much considering a large portion of it was still sliding down his throat, slowly making its way to his stomach. As he continued to try and spit it out, Cup’s eyes traveled from his face towards his still hard erection, making her smile knowing she would still get more out of him.

twow: Yes, PLEASE rape him more.

Pinkie: Are you ok-

twow: NO!

            “After you’re done having you’re little spitting fit, we've got one more thing we need to do…” Cup Cake said to him without taking her eyes off the prize.

twow: Insult of the day: “Little Spitting fit”

            Pound Cake stopped spitting and looked to his mother with complete dread. As pleasant as the blow job felt, he didn’t want anything else to happen to him and attempted to try and jump off the bed.

Pinkamena: You know you can fly, right?

twow: ♫I believe I can fly...♫(smacked by Pinkamena)

Sadly, his mother read his movements quick enough that she grabbed his tail with her teeth, catching him in mid jump and letting his body flop against the side of the bed.

Pinkie: Mrs. Cake’s really strong for her age!

twow: And weight.

            “M-Mom please! I think we should stop!” Pound Cake said erratically as he tried to grab for anything to pull him away.

            “Tsk, tsk. You’re such a typical boy. A mare gets you off and you want to leave without returning the favor. Momma still needs some sugar from her little stallion.” Cup Cake said with a bit of disdain in her words as she yanked his body back onto the bed.

twow: You sick bitch!

Pinkie: Your necklace is going nuts!

twow: HATE.

            “I don’t wanna!!” He cried out, refusing to do anything else.

            Once his body was on the bed, Cup Cake pounced onto him, pinning the small Pegasus under her flabby tummy. Pound Cake stopped moving knowing very well he couldn’t wrestle her body away from under her weight and stopped struggling.

twow: And he suffocated to death.

Pinkamena: That’s a fucked way to go.

            “Don’t worry; you get a little rest right now. I just want you to do something for me.” Cup Cake said quietly as she stroked his puffed up mane that very much resembled hers when she was a decent mare to look at.

twow: Hmmm, can’t picture it.

Pinkie: Blargh.

twow: I see that you did though.

            Pound Cake swallowed back the air in his throat and slowly nodded his head knowing that if he didn’t listen to her, she would dish out some punishment to him.

twow: Not as much as Ninja Comma is gonna deal out.

With the nodding of his head, Cup Cake slowly got off his body and laid her body down sideways on the bed like a mother would do when they were planning on letting their little ones breast feed for a bit.

Pinkie: I think Ninja Comma’s getting tired T.

twow: I’ll roll out the guest bed.

 Pound Cake nervously looked over his mothers body and his eyes were quickly drawn to her swollen tits near her legs.

twow: Oh.

Pinkamena: My.

twow and Pinkamena: God.

 It had been many years since Cup Cake had last breastfed her kids. In recent years, her alcoholism had gotten so bad, that toxins had found their way into her breast milk.

twow and Pinkamena: (glance at each other) WHAT.

 Sampling Cup Cake's lactation was enough to make anyone tipsy.

            “Momma needs you to do something for her.” Cup Cake glided her hoof to where her breasts were and rested it against one. “I need you to come here and suckle for a bit.”

            “B-but I’m too old for that. I’m not a baby anymore…” Pound said a bit reluctant to do as she asked.

twow: You have your chance! Run!

Pinkie: But we have more story! He can’t run yet!

            “Please sweetie. It's been such a long time since my babies needed me. I just want to feel like a mother again. My teats ache, Pound Cake. Please help me find relief.” She said to him giving him a rather sad look.

twow: She’s pulling a Fluttershy. (twitches and passes out.)

Pinkie: T?!

twow: Sorry. My body rejected me for comparing my girlfriend to anything in this piece of shit.

            Cup Cake was being honest in her endeavor, considering they always seems so full that they would hang loosely under her body, letting any passerby’s get a glimpse of her swollen teats. Milking them herself was never an option considering she had hooves so she had to try for a different approach.

twow: So, when they milk cows at the farm, do they use their mouths?

Pinkie: That’s not very sanitary.

            “I…really don’t want to…” He said not feeling very comfortable with anything else she was doing.

           “I brought you in this world. I'll take you out. And it doesn't make no difference to me, because I'll make another one that looks just like you,” She replied simply as she gave her tummy a small pat, "Now do what momma asks."

Pinkamena: Did she...just threaten to KILL him if he didn’t suck on her teats?!

twow: This has gone beyond horrifying and straight into petrifying.

            Pound Cake was very surprised by her words and knew he had no choice. He stared quietly at the bed for a few long seconds before he sighed and shuffled to his mother's nipple. Before he leaned in close, he gave his mother one last sympathetic look in hopes she would back down from her odd proposal.

twow: Survey says?

Instead she just looked on waiting for him to start his task. Knowing she wasn’t backing down, Pound Cake closed his eyes and put his lips to her right nipple.

Pinkie: Are you sure you aren't psychic T?

twow: (sighs) No, just really smart.

            “Mhmm…” Cup Cake cooed softly as she felt a bit of tension getting removed from her breasts.

            Pound Cake gingerly started to suck like a foal would with a pacifier in his mouth, waiting for the milk to greet him. Her teat was remarkably warm and soft, yet he could feel how swollen it was by the tension of her skin. In a way what he was doing was a good thing, considering it would get rid of the taste of cum that still lingered in his mouth.

Pinkamena: No matter what you do, it won’t be a good thing.

twow: And that fact that you wanna use her milk as mouthwash made me throw up in my mouth.

            Eventually the milk started to seep out of her teat and into his mouth. When he first tasted it, it felt off. There was a rather interesting taste to it that almost reminded him of a time when one of his friends brought a small flask of brandy to school one day and he got to sample it.

twow: I’m sure that’s not what it’s supposed to taste like.

He wanted to pull away and ask his mother why her breast milk tasted off but he instead kept his mouth shut, starting to enjoy the taste of it. Cup Cake herself knew that her breast milk had large amounts of alcohol in them and thought it would be a good way to relax her boy so she could enjoy him more.

twow: So, now she’s getting him drunk...with her breast milk.

Pinkie: She’s a natural source of beer!

twow: It’s funny, because Drak would STILL want some. (punched by Draklox)

 Drunken colts and stallions are much more reasonable when it comes to sex and she was hoping Pound Cake would end up slurring his words and not be able to not think straight.

        Her liquored lactation wasn't too potent. If Pound Cake became too drunk, he'd develop the infamous "whiskey dick," which would leave him too plastered to pork anything; including his own mother.

Pinkamena: I mean, is that how it works? I really have no idea.

twow: Actually, it’s when you're so drunk that you can’t get it up.

Pinkamena: How did you know that?

twow: Alcohol Facts with Draklox. It’s on sale for $19.99.

            “Mhm…You’re doing well sweetie.” Cup Cake said softly as she relaxed her body and rested her head against the bed.

            Pound Cake said nothing, eagerly working away until he fell into a natural rhythm. Slowly her tense teats start to relieve a bit of tension, letting her enjoy it. Perhaps a little too much that a regular mother should enjoy.

twow and Pinkamena: NO SHIT.

Her soft ‘mhms’ became sound moans and a bit of wetness started to build up in between her legs, signaling she was getting really turned on by bit.

Pinkamena: She’s getting turned on by money?

twow: In that case, I have a few bits in the drawer...(slammed by Pinkamena)

 While she was enjoying it, in the back of her mind she wished she had clopped herself while she sucked off Pound Cake so she didn’t feel as antsy. Her waiting would pay off in a few minutes in the form of his sons’ dick being ridden to the fullest.

twow: How many sons does she HAVE?!

            It didn’t take Pound Cake long to start hiccupping a bit considering he was drinking at a fast rate. He couldn’t control it since the taste of it was something he never thought that would taste so good. To him it was like regular milk but much sweeter, almost like it was laced with honey and a touch of fruit.

twow: Put that shit in some smoothies.

Pinkie: STAT!

 Even though his head felt like it was spinning a bit and a hiccup would usually escape his throat, he didn’t want to stop. His previous thoughts about not wanting to suck his mother’s teats were a distant thing and now he just wanted to enjoy the buzz he was getting from it.

Pinkamena: So, he’s getting addicted?

twow: He can’t hold his alcohol for shit.

            Eventually he had to switch to her next teat after noticing he was only getting small spurts from the one he had been nursing for an untold amount of time. Cup Cake was happily her little boy was enjoying her breast milk and was equally as happy to feel the tension go away from her teats.

twow: I...got absolutely nothing.

 It didn’t stop her from getting hornier though, as her wetness started to get so annoying that she started to fidget her back legs to try to ease it. Sadly it was getting too much for the mare to handle and she pulled her body away from her child.

Pinkie: You can make your escape now!

twow: “The name’s Cake. Pound Cake.”

            Pound Cakes lips left her teat with a soft popping sound and he looked up at his mother with a slightly glazed look in his eyes, along with a red face. Cup’s plan had worked and now her little boy was drunk off her milk and swaying gently on the bed.

twow: “Drunk off her milk.” DRUNK. OFF. HER. MILK.

Pinkie: T?

twow: HOW IN THE FUCK?!

            “I’ll let you drink some more if you do one little favor for me…” Cup Cake said to him looking forward to getting her little itch taken care off.

            “Whash do I havesh to do? *hic*” Pound Cake said in a very slurred tone as he tried to look at his mother with a straight face.

twow: “Spread em.”

Pinkamena: I can’t smack you because it’s true.

            To Cup Cake there was an odd sense of joy to see her little boy drunk like he was. Seeing his oddly cheerful and crooked smile made her feel better for all the drinking she did. There was a certain joy to it and it was why she would return to it every day.

twow: How does that make sense to you?

Pinkie: It doesn’t to me.

twow: Scared I am.

            “I think it’s time for you to live up to your name…” She said as she pushed him down on his back and crawled over him. “And pound momma’s ass!” She finished off as she started to rub her plushy buns against his still surprisingly hard erection.

twow: DEAR GOD WHY.

Pinkie: Break time T! Right now!

twow: I don’t know if I can DO this.

Pinkie: But, we have to!

twow: I know, but I don’t WANNA.

Pinkamena: You don’t have a cho-

twow: Pinkie?

Pinkie: Sorry, I’m trying to keep my anger inside so I can help you.

twow: I really need to fix that...

Pinkie: Look T. I like riffing with you, but it’s even more fun to just be your friend.

twow: I feel the same. But it’s times like this that I just wanna let others handle this.

Pinkie: But you NEED to be the one riffing these things T.

twow: Why me Pinkie?

Pinkie: Because I know what the rest of the riffers won’t riff, and I know that even though it hurts at times, you’ll get through it.

twow: Really?

Pinkie: Give me one time you’ve quit a riff.

twow: ...guess I can’t do that.

Pinkie: You didn’t even quit “120 Days of Blueblood” when I wanted to quit. So, don’t tell me that you can’t do it. Okay?

twow: ...you’re right Pinkie. Thank you.

Pinkamena: Phew. Now can we get this shit riffed?

twow: (smiles) Yes. Let’s finish this.

*BUZZ*

twow and Pinkamena: We’ve got story sign!

            While she was really feeling it in her cunt, she couldn’t chance the idea of pregnancy with her own kid. The idea of it made her think about Carrot and Pumpkin’s little bedroom tussle she heard about and swore if Carrot got her little girl pregnant, a certain stallion would be getting his nuts removed permanently.

Pinkamena: With a hammer.

twow: (jumps) FUCK! Pinkie!

            Refocusing on the task at hand, Cup Cake rubbed her wet pussy against his shaft to lube it up for entry. Even though it was still a bit slobbery from her earlier blowjob, it wasn’t up to her own standards of penetration.

twow: She really “sucks” at her job. (smacked by Pinkamena)

 As she rubbed against it, Pound Cake was still staring at the ceiling with a stupid grin on his face. He was still aware of what was happening but was too lightheaded to fight back anymore, instead he tried to picture his mother as a different pony from school. A light blue mare by the name of Winter Breeze up from Cloudsdale.

twow: That wording makes it sound like Cloudsdale is underground.

Pinkamena: Rainbow must be lying about that giant cloud then.

 She was a slender mare who was a very shy pony when she first came but slowly opened up to the rest of her classmates.

Pinkie: I think Ninja Comma died at this point.

twow: No, he’s alive, he just can’t take this shit anymore. He’s hiding in Canterlot.

 She was a mare he recently took interest in and hoped she would one day show interest in him.

            “Do you love your mother Pound Cake?” Cup Cake asked positioning his dick at her tail hole, interrupting his thoughts about the other mare.

twow: “I really have feelings for Ninja Comma.”

Pinkie: “He’s the only one that understands me.”

            “I love yoush mom…” He answered back not thinking much of why she was asking it.

            Hearing his words, Cup Cake moved her rump down taking about an inch of it in with ease. Pound Cake gasped from the sudden shock of feeling a new and very warm thing on top of him while Cup Cake moaned from the pleasure she was feeling.

twow: A very warm thing. Okay.

Pinkamena: Because actual words are too hard to use.

Making her body clench it, she started to take the rest of his length in a bit slower, making the young colt breathless. The further she went down, the more she started to pant, still trying to enjoy getting her rump stuffed after a very long time of no love.

twow: ♫And you get no loooove.♫

 Once she finally hit the base of his shaft, Cup Cake gave off a slight chuckle and started twisting her ass in circles to further simulate the sex.

        "Ah, shit!" Pound Cake said, "M-mum, your ass is so fucking tight!" Pound suddenly blurted out, feeling her ass twist the way it was.

Pinkie: Pound’s got a dirty mouth!

twow: I’ll grab the Dial.

        "Pound Cake!" Cup Cake said shocked pausing for a second, "Wherever did you learn such filthy language?"

        "When yoush and dad fight," Pound Cake said.

        "Well, your father always was an asshole," Cup Cake said, "I just never realized until recently. Maybe I’ll make amends for you learning such dirty language like this…" She said resuming her twisting motion.

Pinkamena: Breaking his dick off in the process.

twow: PINKAMENA!

            “M-Mom…It’s…its so…” Pound Cake squeaked feeling her plushy ass move against him, making it hard to picture her as the mare he wanted to picture from earlier.

            “You like that don’t you? Momma knows how to treat her babies good…” She said to him with a lot of excitement in her voice.

twow: Mrs. Cake is a plushie now. The story said so.

            Pausing her circular motion, she started to move up a bit to about only letting half the length stay inside of her, until she slammed her body back down. Pound Cake didn’t even have a chance to gasp or moan as his mother quickly broke into a rhythm.

Pinkie: So he did both at the SAME TIME!

 The feeling of her fatty cheeks slamming against his crotch made Pound Cake try to replace her with the blue mare he still had in mind. Sadly it was hard to do considering she would talk to him and moan loud enough to break his train of thought.

            “Ohhhhhh…it has been way too long…” Cup moaned loudly as she finally found her rhythm and was riding him to the best of her abilities.

twow: When your SON does better than your HUSBAND...

Pinkamena: A marriage counselor can’t help at this point.

            Realizing how loud she moaned, Cup put her hoof to her jaw in case her husband would return from his visit to Filthy Rich and hear them. Even though she was doing it just to get back at him, She didn’t want him to see her through the act, making it very awkward to finish up.

twow: All you gotta do is bounce.

Pinkie: Just like Tig-

twow: Don’t. Please don’t ruin the last part of my childhood.

 It wouldn’t take her long regardless considering she was already worked up from the blowjob and the breast feeding. Closing her eyes she started to move a bit faster, while still keeping her moans to a minimum. The sex was everything she wanted it to be and even more so. Her little boy had finally stopped resisting thanks to her motherly beverage and he was even starting to meet her bounces with small thrusts thanks to how bouncy the bed was.

twow: Bouncy beds are the best.

Pinkie: As long as it isn’t a water bed, because you might pop it!

            “Ohh, fuck this feels good…y-you’re so good bre…” Pound Cake said suddenly catching his mother off guard. It didn’t stop her but it just made her wonder what he was thinking about. If she wasn’t lost in her own pleasure she would have heard him better.

twow: I think the Ninja Comma just cloned himself.

Pinkie: I wanna go next!

twow: We all know what happened the FIRST time you did that.

            “I’ll make this something you’ll remember for a long time!” Cup shouted thinking her son was starting to really enjoy her body.

twow: I doubt it.

Pinkamena: And if he does, there’s no hope for this world.

            As hard as she was riding him, the once quiet bed started to groan and squeak from the new form of abuse it was starting to take. If there was someone else in the house then they would for sure hear it crying out in pain.

twow: We’ll weep for it.

            Cup stopped suddenly, and let out an exhausted breath as she felt her body tense up for a second before a much needed release. Her orgasm hit her like a wave and she watched her mare cum leave her body and coat her son's chest in a sticky coat.

Pinkie: But she ran out, and couldn’t finish painting!

 Relaxing her body, she suddenly felt her son's penis twitch, which signaled the advent of his second orgasm. There was a brief pause between her orgasm and his. She stopped while he was about to get off. Feeling a bit of pity for him, she knew his final orgasm wasn’t the greatest.

twow: So rude.

Pinkamena: This story is not kind to you.

            “How was it sweetie?” She asked letting his erection start to die down inside of her.

            Pound Cake started to regain his senses and realized where he was. He couldn’t remember it but sometime during the sex he managed to replace his mother with the mare of his dreams and was actually happy.

twow: Burn.

Pinkamena: (starts laughing)

 Now that he was back to earth, he started to remember where he was truly.

        “It-itsh was…fun mum…” He slurred still feeling the effects of the alcohol in his system which was starting to make him tired.

            Cup Cake wasn’t convinced by his response but was too tired to give a shit about it.

twow: What about making sure your son is okay?! You fucking bitch!

Pinkie: T! Calm down!

twow: (crying) I can’t! This story hurts!

She got what her body needed after many long months of nothing and she was happy about it. The only thing that remained was to confront her husband about his act and tell him what happened from here. She looked forward to when he got home and what would happen.

Pinkamena: “So I heard that you fucked our daughter.”

twow: “So I fucked our son for revenge.”

        “I’m happy you enjoyed it dear. Now why don’t you take a small nap and relax? Can’t have you walking around like mommy does half the time.” Cup Cake said to him as she pulled herself off of his dying erection.

        “Ok…” Pound Cake muttered quietly as he started to slowly get drifted away in his own afterglow.

twow: Get out of that reality for a while, Pound. You deserve it.

Pinkie: He’s positively radiating!

        Being the caring mother she was, Cup Cake quickly got off the bed still a bit wobbly from both the sex and the alcohol that was still in her body. Looking back to Pound Cake, she pulled him to the side of the bed and flopped him down on her back so she could carry him out of the room.

twow: “Everybody do the flop!”

Pinkie: (flops)

 While she wanted to let him lay on her bed and sleep, her sheets would have to be washed along with her daughters if he was indeed telling the truth. There was a still a bit of doubt in her mind, but she hoped he was telling the truth, in case she just made her sons life very complicated.

twow: YOU JUST HAD SEX WITH HIM, YOU DUMB FUCK.

Pinkie: I think your necklace just cracked.

        As she walked into the hallway to Pound Cakes room, the scent of old sex lingered in the air as she approached the door of his bedroom. She could feel her butt tingle as traces of her son's seed dripped down her slit.

twow: Don’t you even START with the alliteration bullshit.

Pinkamena: This guy already has too many strikes.

        “Alright sweetie, Momma wants you to rest for a few hours okay?” She said to him kneeled to the floor and let his body side off of her, before she turned around, picked him up by her front hooves, and laid him on top of his bed.

Pinkamena: “Next time, I’ll bring condoms.”

twow: “And bags of weed.”

        Pound Cake didn’t answer back as he already had fallen asleep even before she entered the room. Looking at her little boy all peaceful and content made her feel a tinge of guilt as she knew her son would experience his first hangover in a few hours. Covering him with his blanket, she noticed he was started to move a bit, thinking he was still awake.

twow: He’s rarin’ for more!

Pinkie: Uh...

  Wanting to make sure he got his proper rest, she made sure he was nice and snug before she cleared her throat to sing him a lullaby that was very popular with the town folk, thanks to a certain yellow Pegasus.

        “Hush now, quiet now, lay your sleepy head…" Cup Cake sang.

Pinkie: Uh, twow? Why is your whole necklace red?

twow: Fluttershy’s pissed.

Pinkie: And... are your eyes glowing red?!

twow: This happens all the time. I’ll be fine.

        When the song was over, Pound Cake was in a drunken sleep. Cup Cake quietly crept out of her son's room and went to go examine her daughter's sheets in the next room over. Much to her sadness there was a large semen stain on the sheets, way too big for a filly of Pumpkin’s size to produce. She still didn’t want to believe it, but the truth was right in front of her eyes.

Pinkamena: You and your husband are horrible people.

twow: And we didn’t need the Element of Honesty to figure that one out.

Turning her line of sight to the window, Cup Cake looked out at the tree line of the Whitetail woods and stared silently at it, wondering what the future held for her family.

twow: If at all possible, your death.

Pinkamena: And then we’ll bring you back, and kill you again!

Dash: (from TV) Okay, that’s a sign that you two are DONE.

Dash: Guys? Please still be with me.

twow: (breathing hard)

Pinkamena: Is...is it over?

Dash: Yes Pinkie. It’s done.

(Pinkamena’s mane immediatly poofs back to normal.)

Pinkie: T?

twow: Just...give me a minute.

Dash: Yeah, thought he’d be like that. By the way twow, two of your friends just showed up.

twow: Who?

(Someone burps under Dash.)

???: Ah gad, so fuggin’... MY LIVER...

(A hand plants itself on the desk, followed by an extra tall bottle of scotch. Steel pulls himself into view, looking a little more like a truck made of alcohol ran him over.)

???: Pansy, I drink that stuff every day.

twow: Oh damn it Steel. And Drak?

Steel: Oh hay, T... an’ shut it, Drak.

Draklox: Hey T, how they hangin?

twow: Not good at all.

Pinkie: The last chapter kinda tore him apart.

Steel: Boy needs some stuff. (Swishes the scotch in his bottle) C’mon man! We got’s a bar trip to make!

Draklox: Let’s run to my place, stock up, and get twow so drunk he won’t remember the last 4 years!

Steel: Sounds like a fuckin’ plan! Pinkie, c’mon! It’ll be fuuuun! Dash, you in?

twow: You go on. I just wanna be alone for a while...

Dash: You two are NOT helping here.

Steel: Twow, this... is NOT the time... to be alone! You needs t’ stand wiff yer brothers! Now getcher ass out here and let’s go get TANKED!

Draklox: Sorry T, alone is not what you need right now. You need enough booze to put you into a coma and good friends to drink it with.

Pinkie: Dashie...

Dash: I got it, Pinkie. Look twow, Pinkie Pie anticipated this, and I’ve got something that should help a little bit.

twow: And that would be?

Steel: Better not be another kick in the balls...

Dash: Well...

(The lab doors open to reveal Fluttershy on the opposite side.)

Pinkie: Yay! It worked!

twow: Oh my god, I love you so much right now.

Fluttershy: (walking over to twow) Your necklace was red for the last four hours. What happened?

twow: Let’s just say that if I can’t hug the shit out of you, I might have to murder a few authors.

(Fluttershy wraps her forearms around twow, pulling him in close and kissing him)

Steel: D’oh... well, th’ GF is better n’ drinkin’, suppose... (chugs away at his bottle)

Draklox: Ya know, I still have a couple bottles of champagne in the back of the fridge, how bout we just drop that off and leave the lovebirds alone?

Steel: (Puts on a British accent) Breakin’ oot th’ bubbly, mate? Well... I suppose so... Dash, Pinkie, you two wanna come with me and Drak? May as well make a day of it.

Dash: Sure, why not?

Pinkie: I’m in, but should we just leave them in here?

Draklox: Once they get some bubbly, they will have plenty of fun alone.

Steel: (Grins like an idiot) I figure they’ll keep each other some nice~ company... oy, Fluttershy. Watch out fer any ‘signs’, yeah?

(Fluttershy nods without turning her head away.)

Draklox: (Runs to get the champagne)

Steel: Then I christen you man and wife! You may kiss the bride! (flops onto the floor, drinking away.)

Pinkie: Uhh...Button, Dashie?

Dash: Yeah. Come and meet us at Sugarcube Corner.

Pinkie: You bet!

Steel: I’ll be there in a while... jus’ nee’ a bit of a rest...

(Dash hits the button, turning the TV off with a blip.)

(Draklox appears at the door, holding two bottles, handing them to twow and running off)

twow: We gonna need these?

Fluttershy: (smiling) Probably not.

twow: Eh. Might come in handy later. (taps a button, causing the lab doors to slide shut.)

Family Bonds, Chapter 3

And I thought my day couldn’t get any better...

Today we’re tackling the third chapter of Family Bonds. And if you remember, I loathed the last chapter.

I don’t know what to expect seeing as how both foals have been fucked, but I’m not letting my guard down. Last time I did that, I punched a hole in the wall.

Let’s do this. Chapter three of Family Bonds.

twow: Alright, I think that it’s complete.

Pinkie: Really?

twow: I THINK it’s complete, Pinkie. It’s not every day that you build a fridge that’s the size of a cellphone.

Pinkie: Don’t forget how big it is on the inside!

twow: I couldn’t. You could get lost in there.

Pinkie: (giggles)

twow: Heh. Next, I need to try this with the oven.

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Yeah, I don’t think that Sugarcube Corner needs a portable oven.

twow: Think of the possibilities! Cake on the go!

Dash: (rolls eyes) Either way...

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

Pinkie: Oh, a story to riff? What’s the story, Dashie?

Dash: ...

twow: Dash? You alright?

Dash: (sighs) It’s “Family Bonds.”

twow: Oh shi-

(Pinkie’s mane immediately flattens)

twow: ...thought that was gonna happen.

Dash: I’m sorry, guys.

Pinkamena: Always when I’m having a good day.

Dash: If it makes it any better, this chapter is only one-third the length of the other two.

twow: Huh. Alright, let’s do this, Pinkie.

Pinkie: Yup!

*BUZZ*

twow and Pinkie: We’ve got story sign!

        The day was young and the sky was clear. As Carrot Cake walked down the street, he could see happy couples going by with smiles on their faces, enjoying their lives like they should.

twow: “Dude, I banged my daughter last night!”

Pinkamena: “Really? Well, I scored with my niece!”

twow: “Cooool.”

Normally he would feel happy for him but for the time being, he felt a bit jealous. He wished he could walk down the street with his wife and be a happy couple as well but now he feared it would never happen again.

Pinkamena: Seeing as how you and your wife want your children, I wouldn’t hold your breath.

        “Did I fuck up?” He muttered quietly to himself as his mind started to reflect upon his lustful acts with his daughter.

twow: Do I even HAVE to say it?! YES. YOU FUCKING DID!

        After he was done with his daughter his clouded mind started to clear up and he started to realize what he really did to her. He hurt her mentally and physically.

twow: Yeah, rape is a serious issue.

Pinkamena: So it was after you spermed inside of your daughter that you figured out that you were scum? YOU ARE A WASTE OF SPACE.

He pushed her innocence away just so he could fulfill his selfish desires because he wasn’t man enough to deal with his wife. Though his mind felt a bit more clear than before, it still felt like it was swirling out of his own control.

Pinkie: They warned him to not continue to flush the toilet, but noooooo.

How was he going to deal with his life now that was going to end up fucking his daughter daily with false promises of giving her kids?

twow: With lots of condoms. (smacked by Pinkamena)

        “Richie can help me. He’s always helped me with whatever problem I’ve had.” Carrot continued to talk to himself as he thought of his friend, Filthy Rich, a stallion that had been his long-time friend.

twow: And father to a complete bitch.

Pinkie: T!

twow: I’m sorry, but it’s true. I’ve yet to see a story where I’ve had sympathy for her.

Pinkie: What about Blu-

twow: BESIDES THAT.

        Turning his eyes sight from the ground upwards, he quickly noticed he was nearing Filthy’s house. A soft smile appeared on his face as he approached the door and quickly knocked on it.

Pinkamena: Well, we’ve learned that he knows how to walk and knock on things.

twow: His ability to walk short distances will be the thing that saves his relationship.

        “One second!” The voice of the aged stallion rang out from behind the oak door. Carrot waited patiently until he heard a lock click along with the door opening.

         “Morning Carrot,” Filthy Rich greeted with a big smile as he saw his on time house guest.

twow: Ya know, I think Ninja Comma made a return.

Pinkie: Hopefully he gets paid more this time around.

            “Morning Richie, how’s your morning treating you?’ Carrot Cake replied with a smile as he entered the large house.

twow: “Having some trouble with my indents, but it’ll be alright.”

            “Can’t complain, it’s still a bit too quiet for my tastes though,” Filthy answered as he closed the door headed towards his dining room table to clean it off for his friend. “How about yours?”

twow: Wonder what he was doing to have to clean off the table.

Pinkamena: Probably masterbating.

twow: ...

Pinkamena: What? It’s not as bad as the other shit in this!

            “It’s… been interesting,” Carrot answered back giving his forehead a quick rub as he sat down at the table. “I think I've got a problem.”

            “What? Did you clean the bakery and find a rat nest somewhere?” Filthy said to him in a joking manner as he grabbed a nearby bronze ashtray and two cigars.

twow: “Nah, I was looking for another kind of nest.”

Pinkie: T! She’s not even old enough to grow hair there!

twow: Do you all even GROW hair there?!

Pinkie: Maaaayb-

twow: Why in the FUCK are we talking about this?!

            Carrot wanted to laugh to try and ease the mood he was in, but he knew it was too serious for that. The only reason he wanted to visit Filthy Rich was too try and put his troubled mind at ease.

twow: And to hopefully get rid of that extra “O.”

Pinkie: No doing T. That “O” covered himself up with glue.

            “If only Richie. I rather deal with that then what’s happening at my place.” He said with a sigh. Making his way back to the seat, Filthy knew something big was up with his friend.

            “Hmm, let’s hear about it.” Filthy asked as he stared at him attentively.

Pinkamena: “I wonder how long before I can seduce him.”

twow: “Maybe he’s into hot sauce.”

            “You’re my friend right? As in "good friend who you can tell secrets to and help with" right?” He said hoping he could get a bit of help with his problem he created.

twow:♫A true, true friend-♫(smacked by the Mane Six)

Pinkamena: Should I be impressed, or disturbed?

            “You should know the answer to that; we’ve been friends since we were in school together.” Filthy answered bringing his cigar to his lips. “Have a cigar and relax, Carrot. You sound rather distracted today.” He told him as he grabbed a pack of matches to light up his cigar.

twow: And then he burned the house down.

Pinkie: S'mores for everypony!

            “Well, there’s a bit of a problem I’ve started to develop.” Carrot Cake said as he tried to figure out a tactful way to break the news that he had raped his daughter, “You’re a father so I thought I would ask you this.”

twow: Oh, NOW you call it what it is.

Pinkamena: About that, can I ask you something?

twow: Go ahead.

Pinkamena: Pumpkin didn’t seem upset from it. Can it still be called rape?

twow: If Pumpkin had known everything like she should have and still wanted it, no. Her father manipulated the fuck out of her. And I think I have the right to call that rape.

            “Let’s hear it.” Filthy asked as he took a match and ran it across the back of the match book, lighting it up and bringing it to his cigar. His expression was neutral and very calm as he took a few puffs of the cigar before he pushed the match book towards Carrot.

twow: Thanks for that information. For a second, I thought Filthy’s face actually moved.

Pinkie: Silly! That would take effort!

            “T-Thanks,” Carrot simply replied as he grabbed his cigar and repeated Filthy’s steps until he was puffing away at his cigar.

            “Anyhow, have…had you ever had…deeper thoughts about your daughter at all?” His worried mind was trying desperately to form a proper sentence.

Pinkamena: Is he really trying to find a proper way to explain that he fucked his daughter?

twow: Think about that sentence again.

            Filthy’s expression didn’t change considering he had a feeling this conversation would turn up one day.

Pinkamena: WHAT.

twow: Fuck just the Cakes, this entire UNIVERSE has issues!

            “Hmm, I’m going to guess that your wife isn’t making you a happy stallion at nights anymore and now you’re turning your daughter for attention.”

            Carrot’s heart skipped a beat as he heard Filthy pretty much hit the nail on the head.

twow: It wasn’t that hard.

Pinkie: He used a sledgehammer anyways.

        “Something like that…” Carrot answered back quietly. “Look I…You won’t tell anyone about this conversation right?” Carrot added making sure he wouldn’t risk getting taken away to jail.

            “You think little of me Carrot; remember we’ve been friends forever. I won’t toss you to the guard just because you’re looking to your daughter for attention…unless it’s already worse than that.”

Pinkamena: Well.

twow: I mean, maybe Carrot’ll be fucked over by his friend? That would actually be kinda funny.

 His neutral expression turned into a frown just from the thought that Carrot was starting to engage in sexual activities with his daughter.

Pinkie: (gasps) Somepony that thinks this is wrong?

twow: Abandon fic!

Pinkie: We ran out of lifeboats!

twow: Shit!

            “N-No! I’m just-” Carrot quickly tried to collect his thoughts before he ended up saying the wrong thing “It’s something that’s started to show recently.“ His words were a blatant lie however it was something he never discussed with Filthy at all.

            “Carrot, you’re hiding something.” Filthy said as he took the cigar out of his mouth and pointed it at him.

twow: He’s fidgeting more than a ADHD child hopped up on sugar.

            “I-I’m not! I…fuck, look I’m starting to get attracted to my daughter and worried I’ll break under pressure!”

twow: Whoa. Human curse words now?

Pinkamena: I’d mark that as another zero, but this fic already owes US points.

 Carrot knew he wasn’t going to avoid it so he decided to present part of the truth to his friend.

             “Seems I was right then,” Filthy said before a long silence filled the air around them.

twow: That indent is a bit far.

Pinkie: It’s trying to break out of the fic and run!

            Carrot couldn’t even look at his friend as he felt his stare looking at him, almost like it was trying to read his mind.

         You still haven’t answered my question. Did you ever look at your daughter and get these... lustful urges?” Carrot asked hoping he could get on the same level as his friend.

Pinkamena: “It started on a warm summer day.”

twow: “The day that Ninja Comma left this sentence.”

        “Carrot, you’re my friend right? I trust you aren’t hiding something else from me.” There was a slightly ominous tone in his voice as he spoke.

Pinkie: “Don’t forget, I do enjoy a slice of carrot cake from time to time.”

twow: “And I think it’s time to restock my shelves.”

        “Richie, I came to you because you’re my closest friend and this is a very important matter. Why are you getting a bit defensive?” Carrot asked him unsure of why he seemed to be clamming up.

twow: He stole the comma and is desperately trying to think of ways to get you out of the house.

        Filthy looked at him and seemed to be trying to figure out in a way.  Carrot could see his eyes looking at his bow tie from time to time and he wondered what was going through his mind. There was a long silence for a few long seconds but Filthy finally spoke up.

            “It’s alright Carrot. I once had those kinds of thoughts about my daughter.” Filthy said with a sigh as his voice turned into a rather sympathetic one.

twow: ...as much as I don’t like Diamond, ew.

Pinkamena: I’m going to feel very unclean around foals because of this story.

            Carrot felt an odd sense of relief as he heard Filth speak to him. Incest was a topic lots of ponies around Ponyville didn’t want to talk about.

            “However they remained just thoughts.” He added taking another puff of his cigar. “I had them after my wife died as you might've guessed.”

Pinkamena: And finding another mare wasn’t a thought then?

twow: Hey, as long as he didn’t actually fuck her, he’s better in my eyes then Carrot.

            Carrot’s sense of relief slowly crumbled away however he saw a gap he could jump into to sway the conversation into his favor.

            “It’s been 4 years right? How are you handling it?”

twow: “The same way I forgot to write out my numbers.”

Pinkie: “Lots of ice cream.”

Carrot asked with sincere sympathy in his voice.

            “I still miss her, but it’s in the past and I’ve moved on.”

            “Ever thought about finding another mare to spend time with?”

twow: That’s what I said.

            “Carrot, I’m an aging stallion now. I highly doubt any mares would be interested in me even with me rolling in bits.”

Pinkamena: And there’s your answer.

            “Hmm, it’s never too late to find someone new to share love with…for you of course! Wouldn't you fear losing your sanity considering your daughter moved in with that pinto pony?” Carrot asked him knowing Filthy was living by himself after his daughter got married and moved into his place nearby.

twow: So he’s a bachelor. I’m down with that.

Pinkie: Aren’t you one, T?

twow: Technically?

            “While I wished she waited a few more years before marriage, it was for the better. However let’s not get side tracked with my life; we were talking about you and me having feelings for our daughters correct?” Filthy said to him as he rested his cigar against the bronze ashtray.

twow: I’m sure the conversation would have rolled back around to that.

Pinkamena: Even though we do NOT WANT that.

            “We…” Carrot was starting to wish he never even brought up the conversation and was struggling to get his thoughts together.” Yeah, we were. Were your thoughts ever…sexual at all?”

            Filthy stared quietly at him.

twow: “No, but I actually want YOU.”

Pinkie: “AHHHHHHH!”

            “You know, it’s actually very common for fathers to be attracted to their daughters nowadays right? However most of them keep those thoughts in their imagination and don’t ever give in to them.”

Pinkamena: Aw shit...

twow: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

Pinkamena: That Bronystories guy drinks your tears, twow.

            Those words hurt Carrot deeply. Though he was happy to know others shared his plight, he felt like a monster for giving into his selfish desires. While he felt hurt by his friend’s words, he kept a calm face.

twow: “Nopony knows....the trouble I feel.”

            “It’s hard to deal with those thoughts when your wife doesn’t even touch you anymore at night…” Carrots muttered with a hint of anger in his voice.

Pinkie: And your apostrophe must be having an affair!

            Filthy paused for a second and knew that she was the root of the problem but felt sorry for the both of them. They were both good ponies and they were perfect for each other. It just was the glaring fact that the twins were a different race that put the wedge between them.

twow: Why?! That’s like my parents breaking up because I’m fucking black! Which I am, BTW.

Pinkamena: And the issue would be...

twow: My mom is white, my dad is black. I’m adopted.

Pinkamena: Makes sense.

            “Have you ever thought about fixing your relationship with Cup? I know you have your doubts about the twins actually being yours but you know Cup would never cheat on you.  Heheh, heck I should know considering I tried to buy her love back when we were teens.”

Pinkie: You can’t buy love!

twow: You have to fight for it sometimes. Trust me, I know.

Filthy told him with a bit of laughter as he remembered his youthful days were he had the hots for Cup Cake himself.

            “And I gave you a black eye for trying to bribe her for sex.” Despite what he said, Carrot wasn’t mad at Filthy and in fact they worked around that small part in his life.

twow: Don’t understand why you would have been mad if that happened years ago anyway.

Pinkie: It’s because it’s gonna be on the test!

twow: Shit! I gotta study!

            “I was young and I was eager to toss my money at any mare I wanted. I wanted Cup Cake, plain and simple; however she only had eyes for you.” Filthy reached for his cigar to take a quick puff of it and Carrot followed his movements.

            “You once convinced yourself that your kids were yours right? Did you start believing they weren’t?” Carrot heard a faint sadness in his voice as Filthy spoke.

Pinkamena: Why couldn’t you have just taken it as a miracle?

twow: Or if it’s that much of an issue, go get a blood test.

            “You know I’ve always believed that. Both are families are mainly earth ponies with the exception of very distant ones. I’m sure you would have your doubts if your wife gave birth to a unicorn and a Pegasus.” Carrot flicked a bit of ash of his cigar before he took another puff of it.

twow: Shit, if Fluttershy gave birth to an alicorn, I would be fucking HAPPY.

Pinkie: Ohh, what if it was a changeling?

twow: I would still treat it as my own.

            “I would, however I would still raise them as mine regardless.” Filthy told him as his face slowly returned to its usual neutral look.

twow: “Because I’m not a paranoid bitch.”

            “You say that now but do you mean it?” Carrot asked him in a serious manner.

            “Of course, family is still family whether you’re blood related or not.”

            “That’s kind of a foolish thing to say Richie, though I wish I had that same creed.”

            “You say it like it’s too late for that kind of thing.” Filthy said to him.

Pinkie: I think he’s getting it!

twow: That plane’s been at Spain for at least four hours already.

            “Maybe it is Richie…” Carrot replied closing his eyes and knowing he dug his own grave thanks to his actions.

Pinkamena: And I got the shovel to beat you in.

            “Just talk to your wife and try to reconcile with her. I know a good marriage counselor in Manehattan I could set you up with.” Filthy said to him as he took his cigar and smothered it out in the ashtray.

twow: Seeing as how Filthy is denser than a blond Rainbow in the Winningverse, I think that Carrot’ll be fine.

            “I…” Carrot was starting to lose it. He thought trying to talk to his friend would help put his troubled mind at ease but he knew the truth would get out eventually. “Shit, Richie I…got a confession to make to you.”

Pinkie: “I’ve been spying on humans.

twow: “So that’s how you know all these weird words!”

            “Hmm, seems I’m turning into a reverend now.” He chuckled as he crossed his hooves and rested them on the table.

            “I don’t think a marriage counselor will fix what I did. I…I fucked up this morning.”

twow: Before, or after the incest?

            Filthy didn’t change his expression and wondered what Carrot was going to admit to, however considering the conversation, he had a sinking feeling.

Pinkie: And he ate tiny holes in the lifeboats.

             “I…I broke and…I had sex with my daughter!” Hearing his confession, Filthy said nothing and stared at him.

twow: Does he do ANYTHING but stare?!

Pinkie: He might have beaten me in staring at that wall!

 “I…I couldn’t help it. I…I accidentally walked in on her showering and everything just went to shit then!” Again, he forced the words out but also felt relieved to get his burden off his chest. “It wasn’t rape! She…actually consented to it…in a way.”

twow: (twitches)

Pinkamena: You’re going to blow, aren’t you?

twow: Mt. Vesuvius ain’t gonna have nothing compared to this.

            “In a way?” Filthy said to him not letting his tone waver at all.

            “I…may have stretched the truth about sex with her a bit…” Carrot was sweating bullets and becoming very nervous.

twow: A BIT?

Pinkamena: Relax. You can rage after the chapter.

 Filthy wasn’t taking his eyes off of him but that lack of surprise or even hate in his voice worried him. He was sure he was going to lunge at him any second and strangle him for being a pedophile.

Pinkamena: Can I do it?

twow: We’ll get AJ’s rope from Fallen. He won’t mind.

            “Was it the first time?” Filth asked still not changing his neutral tone.

            “It was. I…thought I would be happy to find affection in her, but…walking here I felt ashamed of myself and what I did...this is why I was seeing if you ever had the same problem with Diamond Tiara.”

twow: “She was like a diamond in the sky.”

Pinkie: No song?

twow: Lost the will to sing.

        Filthy went silent and stared at him quietly but something in Carrot’s mind scared him about how he was staring at him. Without a word Filthy got out of his seat and Carrot feared for the worst.

twow: Filthy couldn’t take the indents and the lack of Ninja Comma anymore.

Pinkie: He was closing in for the kill.

        “So that’s how it is…” Filthy said to him as he started to walk towards him.

        “Richie what are you-”

        Carrot was cut off as Filthy quietly approached him without any warning Filthy rose to his hindlegs and pushed Carrot to the floor.

Pinkamena: What, is he gonna rape Carrot now? What the hell is going on?!

twow: “I like my carrot cake nice and rich, but not when it’s all filthy!” (brained by Pinkamena)

        "Alright, where's the wire?" Filthy said, as he knocked Carrot Cake to the ground, "Am I supposed to speak into your bow tie? I thought we were friends. Don’t play with me!"

        “Grah! Richie what are you doing!?” Carrot shouted as his head hit the wooden floors board. "What wire? What are you talking about!?"

twow: “The wire that I choke you with!”

        “How much did they pay you!? How long have they known!?” Filthy rose his hoof up in the air ready to strike his friend in case his worst fear had come to pass.

twow: Little did he know that it had.

Pinkie: Ninja Comma sold him out.

        “Richie I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Carrot screamed as he covered his face to shield himself from the impending strike.

        Filthy went quiet as he continued to stare at his friends face. He could see the fear and confusion on it and knew he wasn’t spying on him. Even though he saw his confusion he had to be a bit more careful.

twow: Yeah, seeing as how you almost brained the motherfucker.

        "Sorry," Filthy Rich said, "Just a precaution. You can never be too careful. I didn't get where I am by being Sloppy."

Pinkie: You were doing so well!

twow: (facepalm)

        "Who?" Carrot Cake asked.

        "Sloppy Rich," Filthy said, "My careless cousin. His business was repossessed when the authorities caught him cooking the books."

        "I see, what was his business?" Carrot Cake asked him.

twow: Illegal sex tapes of Princess Celestia and Big Macintosh.

Pinkie: Those are really rare!

twow: O_O That was a JOKE!

        “Not important. Let’s return to our seated positions shall we?” Filthy quickly got off of Carrot and offered him a hoof to pull him up. Carrot was a bit nervous to do so but that cold feeling he had before was gone.

        “You’re not going to attack me anymore are you?”

twow: “No. Now spread them.”

Pinkamena: I’d hit you, but I could see this story pulling that.

        “As long as you’re not hiding anything.”

        “Richie, I’m not hiding anything, hell I came to you because I thought you could help me with my…problem.” Carrot told him still not sure about reaching out for his hoof.

        “Like I said, Just a precaution. Come on get yourself up.” This time Filthy didn’t wait for him to reach out, instead he grabbed his hoof and pulled him to his feet.

Pinkamena: And then knocked him down again.

twow: Shh, that’s what WE want to do.

        "So," Filthy Rich said, with an ominous smile as he turned back for his chair, "What were you saying about your daughter?"

twow: Filthy has the memory of a half-dead goldfish.

Pinkamena: That’s been sniffing paint.

        Carrot was still confused by his actions and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue the conversation with him. He wanted to stop but there was something that pushed him to talk to Filthy about his problem. Pulling his chair up, he resumed his seated position.

Pinkie: BONUS QUESTION!

twow: AH! I gotta put it in my notes!

        “I was talking about how I…had sex with my daughter. I just don’t know how I feel about it.”

            “Hmm, you love your children right?” Filthy asked him.

            “It’s…complicated for me. I love them, but I don’t fully love them like a father should. I mean…Fuck, how do I describe this…I love them but I would love them more if they were born without wings or a horn.”

twow: I think I figured it out. Carrot is a racist bastard. AGAINST HIS OWN CHILDREN.

Pinkamena: That...that’s a thing now.

twow: Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to rock bottom.

          “I see…Why haven’t you ever got a paternity test? I hear they got those up in Canterlot.” Filthy asked a bit puzzled to why Carrot never bothered to do so.

twow: That’s what I said.

Pinkamena: No rage?

twow: Nah.

        “I…was scared and I didn’t want Cup Cake to think I thought she was cheating on me. It was either she starts panicking and start calling me a bad husband because of that or that she would break down because she did cheat on me.” Carrot leaned forward and rested his head into his hooves.

twow: You aren’t really in a good spot now.

Pinkie: Might as well take the test.

“Now I fear if I get a test and find out they’re actually mine…What then? I fucked my daughter because I thought she wasn’t. I don’t know how I’ll live with myself if she is actually mine…” Carrot said fully coming into terms with his deeds.

twow: No you aren’t! Even if she’s not your daughter by blood, she’s still your fucking daughter!

        “So you decided to remain ignorant to the facts and now you’re just down right scared?” Filthy refused to change his tone with him. “Carrot, I thought you were smarter than this.”

Pinkamena: So did I.

twow: We both know that this is evil OOC Carrot.

            “You…you think I’m a sick pony don’t you…” Carrot felt his friends stare starting to pierce his mind in hopes for finding answers for the issues that were just brought up to him. He began to worry that he would disown him, kick him out, and call the cops for what he did. His life would be ruined and he would lose everything he worked hard in his life for.

twow: I bet my fucking LIFE that none of this is about to happen.

        “Actually no, this brings something really interesting up.” Filthy’s tone started to change into a tone Carrot wasn’t very familiar with.

twow: OF COURSE.

Pinkie: Now your entire necklace is glowing red. Again.

        “What is it?”

        “I played stupid for a bit I’ll admit, but since you took the large step and confessed your little secret I think I can stop my little game.” Carrot started to notice a smile start to appear on the face of his friend and continued to wonder what he was about to tell him.

Pinkamena: “I was just kidding. I’m sending your ass to jail.”

twow: God, the smile on my face if we see that...

        “Remember when I said most are fathers attracted to their daughters nowadays and most of them keep those thoughts like that?”

        “Yes?”

twow: I’m not going to quickly forget that.

Pinkamena: It’s a little hard too.

        “Well what if I told you a small group of ponies in this very town has gone past that line

twow: What.

and into that area of depravity like you did?

twow: WHAT.

Pinkie: No, T!

 What if that group was run by yours truly?

twow: WHAT.

Pinkamena: Don’t break on me now. I mean it.

 Would you believe me?”

        “Is this some kind of joke?” Carrot thought Filthy was just pulling his leg so he could turn it around and laugh at him in the end.

Pinkie: Pleasepleasepleaseplease...

twow: Why are you...

Pinkie: Because I know what you’ll do if it isn’t a joke.

        “Do you think I would lie about this? It’s the reason why I got defensive and attacked you in the first place.” Filthy said to him in the most serious tone Carrot ever heard.

twow: (quietly stares at the screen, then stands up and walks away.)

Pinkie: T! Come back!

Dash (from TV) He...he’s not coming back over here.

Pinkamena: Then how the hell are we going to finish this?

Dash: I’ll help.

        “That explains your sudden shift in behavior.” Carrot replied rubbing the back of his head in response.

        “Again I’m sorry; however I think I can make it up to you. Tell you what, come back tonight around midnight and you see for yourself.”

Dash: “Bring the Daring Do.”

Pinkie: “God HELP you if you don’t bring Daring Do!”

        “But what about my problem? How am I going to face my kids when I get…oh fuck…” Carrot was a bit confused to why Filthy was bringing this up but at the thought of his kids, he forgot about Pound Cake.

Dash: How do you forget about your other child?!

Pinkamena: He was lost in the moment of being a horrible father.

        “What is it?” Filthy asked him.

        “W-What if Pound Cake heard me and Pumpkin doing it?”

        “Then he would have most likely confronted Pumpkin about it afterwards.” Filthy said cutting in front of Carrot’s words. “I’m guessing you didn’t lock the door right?”

Pinkamena: Course not. He was a little busy.

Dash: And the lock broke on purpose.

        “I…no, I didn’t.”

        “Bad form on your part friend. Hmmm, this could be a problem now. I may have to put off our little meeting tonight if this is the case. Seems you need to do a bit of damage control instead.” Filthy’s tone started to return to its once neutral state as he spoke.

Dash: Sheesh. The story makes him out to be a robot.

Pinkie: GIVE ME YOUR EMOTIONS.

        “I want you to head home and figure out a way to fix your mess in case he did hear the both of you.” Filthy’s tone changed into one of a frantic officer trying to give out orders in a rushed fashion. “If you can fix everything by tonight then return like I asked. If not then I’ll know you’re most likely on your way to jail. If it’s the latter then I can’t help you.”

Pinkamena: If it’s the latter, then justice has been served.

Dash: Not if it’s a jury of his peers.

        “I highly doubt you could save me regardless. I…I know rape and incest are high crimes and no amount of money will save me from rotting in jail.” Carrot said a bit scared of what will happen when he gets home.

Dash: No amount of anything would keep us from killing you.

Pinkamena: twow would go through both Princesses to slit his throat at this point.

        “Before you go. Me and you never had this talk alright?” Filthy told him just before Carrot made an attempt to rise from his seat.

        “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? What’s got you so spooked Richie?” Carrot asked as he slowly got out of his seat.

Dash: Did you just miss the entire conversation you just had? None of it was legal!

Pinkie: He’s a goldfish.

Dash: But yet, he’s not smiling back.

        “You’ll find out if you come back tonight. Now hurry back home and talk to your kids before something bad happens.”

        “Alright. Hopefully I’ll be back tonight.” Carrot said as he turned for the door and exited the house.

Pinkamena: Not before you meet Mr. Knife Blade.

Dash: And his wife, Mrs. Stone Tomb.

Pinkamena: A lovely couple indeed.

        As the door closed, silence filled the house. Filthy didn’t move from his seat and only thought about what was in store for his friend if he was to return.

        “Hmm…” Filthy said quietly to himself after his friend left. “Hopefully our little group will get an extra member tonight. A filly like Pumpkin would be a great benefit to us.” Filthy finished saying as a sinister grin slowly showed up on his face.

Dash: ...

Pinkamena: ...

Dash: Should we...?

Pinkamena: Yes. Right now.

Dash: Wow. That chapter didn’t even have clop. And it was STILL horrible.

Pinkamena: It’s like it’s doing everything it can to shock the hell out of the readers.

Dash: Either that, or to make a horrible version of Equestria even worse.

Pinkamena: At this rate, it’s going to turn into Blueblood.

Dash: (shudders)

twow: (calmly sits back down)

Pinkamena: Are you any bet-(hugged by twow)

twow: Thank you.

Pinkamena: For?

twow: Being here.

Pinkie: (mane poofing back up) Of course. You’re my friend.

twow: Yeah. And thank you Dash.

Dash: Eh. I try. Want me to let you two out?

Pinkie: T, can we just stay in here for a while? I’m kinda...(yawns and passes out next to twow)

twow: Her brain is starting to overload because of the emotion switching.

Dash: Will she be okay?

twow: Yeah. I’ll make sure of it. We’ll catch you later, Dash.

(Dash hits the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)

mike hubbard:

indent

Family Bonds, Chapter 4

Fuck it. Let’s just go.

It’s time for the next chapter of the story that I fucking loathe, Family Bonds.

I guess that one part that makes this so hard is that I have no idea when this thing is going to end.

Not that I have a choice. I started this, and I’m not going to let it beat me.

And so it begins again.

twow: ...Are we gonna get in trouble for this?

Pinkie: I doubt it. You still have your license on you, right?

twow: Never leave it.

Pinkie: Then it’s good!

twow: Fine by me.

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) What are you two doing?

twow: We’re trying to break reality.

Dash: I thought you two said you weren’t going to do that anymore.

Pinkie: It’s okay! We’re going to do it in a controlled environment.

Dash: You might wanna put that on hold.

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

twow: Ah, a riff. Might be nice for a little break.

Pinkie: What’s the story, Dashie?

Dash: (sighs)

twow: Aw, hell.

Dash: Yeah. It’s the next chapter of Family Bonds.

(Pinkie instantly flat-manes)

twow: This story needs to die. Pinkie can’t take much more of this.

Pinkamena: I’m fine. Let’s get this hell over with.

twow: You bet.

Dash: I’m sorry you two. Good luck.

*BUZZ*

twow and Pinkie: We’ve got story sign!

As Carrot Cake walked down the street, he could see happy couples going by with smiles on their faces, enjoying their lives like they should.

Pinkamena: “Do. Like they do.”

twow: Silly Pinkie. This isn’t our universe.

Normally he would feel happy, but for the time being he felt a bit worried. Much like on his earlier walk his mind was swarming with questions. What started in an effort to figure out lots of them only ended up with him having more.

twow: “How maybe places does pi actually reach?”

Pinkie: “Can you make cake out of bits?”

“Can’t believe he of all ponies is a…pedophile,” Carrot said, still trying to get over finding out his closest friend lusted after his own daughter as well, and apparently other socially acceptable males in town were the same as him.

twow: You’re not the only one, buddy.

Pinkamena: You just agreed with him. Think about that.

twow: But STILL.

Thinking about it more made Carrot feel weak. Filthy was able to hide that secret from him for the longest time and didn’t show any signs of being attracted to his daughter. Of course thinking about their family, Carrot got a better understanding of it.

twow: This universe is full of horrible ponies?

When Filthy’s wife passed away, he seemed lost and broken from the world until his daughter moved closer to him to provide comfort. Being the daddy’s girl she was, she refused to see her dad broken like he was and must have sought to comfort him in the most unconventional or best way possible, straying from the path most would take.

Pinkamena: Is the story implying that Diamond started to have sex with her father?

twow: Would not be surprised. This story hasn’t been on my good side.

It wouldn’t be the first time Carrot heard a story like that play out.

twow: And it won’t be the last.

Pinkamena: Not in this world.

Another case similar to Filthy’s was the Apple family. After both parents died, both Applejack and Macintosh were so lost they drank most of their hard ciders supplies dry before they both had sex on the cellar floor, in order to forget about their loss.

Pinkie: They forced the problem out.

twow: Eh. That one kinda fell flat, Pinks.

It was baseless rumors sadly, since they both disappeared on the funeral day, only to appear the next hung over and crawling out of a cellar.

twow and Pinkamena: BLUH.

twow: I swear. Next it’s gonna be Celestia screwing Twilight.

“Wonder if Macintosh himself is a part of Richie’s group,” Carrot muttered quietly while keeping his eyes trained on the ground, only keeping tabs on the few feet in front of him.

Pinkie: Does he have a little sister?

twow: I think he still does...

Pinkamena: THEN PROBABLY YES.

Bringing his eyes up he froze as he saw his home, beckoning him to come closer. Every second felt like a century as he stared at the place, knowing very well that a nightmare could be waiting for him to enter.

Pinkie: It’s dark blue, has large wings and a BIG horn!

twow: Please. I’d love for Nightmare to crash this party.

“How can I go back to that house…” Carrot thought to himself. “I failed as a husband to my wife and as a father to my kids. God, I wish Pinkie was here to cheer me up. Why did she have to go out with her friends to fight some nameless evil in the Badlands?”

Pinkamena: SO I DO EXIST!

twow: You aren’t going to be throwing any parties when you get back.

Carrot continued to stay put as his eyes watched his home and his bakery. He needed some kind of reassurance to tackle it. Even if Cup Cake didn’t know yet, she would find out for sure when Pumpkin got home. If he kept it quiet until then, it would be very much worse than telling her about it himself. Swallowing back his fear, he started to walk again…

twow: Then he got tackled and thrown into prison.

Pinkie: There’s gonna be a prison party!

~~~

Cup Cake sat quietly at her table, silently letting her eyes wander around the place. Her eyes went from the kitchen stove to a nearby picture before they stopped. She noticed a picture frame holding a single image of her and Carrot back when they first got together.

Pinkie: I bet you forty bits that we’re gonna be told something that we already know.

twow: I might as well pay you now if I take that bet.

 Looking closely she noticed how much more beautiful and fit she was. She was no longer young or beautiful in her eyes. She was a slob, a fat drunkard who stopped caring because her husband didn’t touch her at nights anymore.

Pinkamena: twow, stop trying to put the goldfish bowl on your head.

twow: It fits this scene!

She started blaming herself for Carrots actions after she heard about it from Pound Cake. She could have noticed his affections for her daughter early enough to stop them properly; instead she ignored everything and drank herself into forgetfulness. She could have prevented this, she could have stopped it and now she was paying for it.

Pinkamena: twow! STOP!

twow: IT’LL WORK! LEAVE ME ALONE!

“It’s all my fault,” Cup Cake pouted softly as she rested her head against the table, still staring at the unattractive parts of her body.

Pinkie: Like her hairline!

“He’s just as to blame yet I should have stopped caring for what others thought.”

As her words ended, her mind started to think about her children, especially to Pound Cake.

“I’m no better than he is, He defiled my little girl but I just did what he did and…oh God, I raped him. I raped my little baby.”

Pinkamena: Yup. You alright, twow?

twow: Don’t worry about me...

Back when Cup Cake was in the bed with Pound Cake, the only thought on her drunken mind was any sort of revenge against Carrot. Now that she wasn’t drunk she could see the error of her ways, and felt nothing but shame for her actions.

twow: If Pound feels shame about being raped, I’m quitting this story.

Pinkamena: Would Dash even let you?

twow: She can try me.

Slowly Cup Cake pulled her body out of her seat and turned for the fridge, in hopes of finding something to help her sorrow. As she opened the fridge and stared at the vodka bottle within her reach she paused. She wanted to drink it more than anything but something held her back, telling her drinking would only worsen everything to come.

Pinkie: So she decided to binge eat birthday cakes.

twow: That’ll help the pounds.

 Cup Cake took a deep breath and closed the fridge before she pressed herself against it, trembling and teary eyed.

Letting her body slide down the fridge, she sat her haunches on the floor and stared outward at nothing in particular. The only thing that answered back was the ticking of the cuckoo clock nearby.

Pinkie: It was telling her the code.

twow: Up, Up, Down, Do- wait. Wrong one.

“How do I fix this?” Cup Cake asked herself, trying to think of someway to repair her now broken family.

twow: Start by telling your son that you’re sorry as SOON as he wakes up.

She wished Pound Cake never told her anything, that way she could have been ignorant to the whole matter. She wished she never let the idea of revenge and lust cloud her better judgement.  What she wouldn’t give to look beautiful again and hope to draw Carrot back in with her beauty, yet she was old and working off any excess weight would take forever to do.

Pinkamena: But well worth it.

twow: Damn, that would take a while though.

With a loud sigh, Cup Cake pulled herself up and started walking for the staircase. A shower was what she needed and hoped it would clear her mind, letting her think easier. Only one thought came to her mind and though it sounded dumb, it stuck with her as she continued to trot about.

twow: Like rubber on glue.

Pinkie: That sounds like something I’d say. You’re learning, T!

twow: Joy...

“Seduce him to loving you again. Be the kind, tender mare you were when you were both happy as can be. Make him lose interest in your daughter and hope for the best. You’ve lived with him most of your life and you know what he loves and what makes him tick. Decades of practice made you the mare that he should covet, desire, and lust over.”

twow: And a few years of neglect made you two rape your children.

Pinkamena: Talk about the dangers of neglect.

Even with those thoughts running through her head, one (or in this case, two) glaring facts punched her square in the cerebellum. He raped their daughter and she raped their son. That could be fixed as long as they agreed to keep it a secret forever.

twow: No, no NO! That’s the exact reason that I’ve had issues with it my whole life!

Pinkie: (hugs twow) You’re doing a lot better now, ya know.

She wished there was a way to strengthen their family bonds in a way that everything seemed…right. Maybe, just maybe if the whole family loved each other equally, everything could slowly return to being better.

twow: Yeaaaa-no.

“You’re on par with him, maybe he just needs his lust to be forced out of his system, showing that she was the better lover than their daughter.” Cup Cake thought before she had a startling revelation.

“THAT’S IT!” She shouted out to no one in particular as she stopped walking just before the staircase.

Pinkie: “I NEEDED TO USE VINEGAR!”

twow: That’s some creepy sex.

Her idea was a long shot but it was the most effective idea she could think off. Word wouldn’t get out to the town about what happened and everything could slowly work itself back together.

Have a family orgy.

Pinkamena: FUCK THIS STORY!

twow: (sighs) I kinda just want to die right now...

Let Carrot openly have their daughter. Cup Cake could play puppeteer with both of them easily. Carrot may have been old, but like a teen, he is easily swayed around mares. Let Pumpkin try to play around with him.

twow: Ignoring the fact that they already DID.

She may have been young, svelte, eager, and so many other definitions, yet she didn’t have a clue how sex worked and would no doubt ask mommy for help. She would help but tend to Carrot himself and show him she was still the lusty mare he fell in love with.

Pinkamena: So let me get this straight? She’s going to get Carrot back with her, but letting him fuck her daughter?

twow: Yup.

Pinkamena:Did the author even THINK about that plan first?

The only problem with her idea was the wildcard, Pound Cake. She could try to manipulate him but unlike Pumpkin, Pound Cake was a very articulate pony. He wasn’t naïve, and she couldn’t figure out what to do with him. If she wasn’t reckless with him earlier then her idea could work. As much as she wanted to just ignore his presence in the house, she couldn’t.

twow: Okay. This is going to sound horrible, but if she drugged him, then he wouldn’t have to be part of the orgy.

Pinkie: That would defeat the purpose!

twow: OF?!

Pinkie: Family Bonding!

twow: TITLE DROP! ...curse you, Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie: Be happy, T! I probably won’t have a lot of happy moments.

“Damn it!” She cursed under her breath as she turned her body slightly so she could sit on the staircase.

“Gods why couldn’t Pound Cake be a more adventurous teen, seeking to sate his curiosity with his young, and beautiful sister?” Cup Cake knew incestual relationships were taboo in Equestria but it would provide her with a way to work things in her favors.

Pinkamena: It’s like the story isn’t even even TRYING to redeem itself.

twow: It realised where it was going, said “fuck it” and continued on its task.

 A devious smirk fell across Cup’s face, and for an instant she figured out how to play with him.

“What’s stopping him from doing so? Maybe, just maybe I can push Pumpkin away and have her seek comfort in Pound Cake.

twow: Oh good. I always like THIS angle with those two!

 They’ve both had a taste of the adult life and would surely love to sample it again. Even if they grow up keeping the relationship, I can weave it so they appear as very caring siblings to the public’s eye.”

Pinkie: ...Can I please just stay angry all the time?

twow: I’d rather you didn’t.

Cup Cake knew the flaws of her plan, but she was determined to get her husband back. Worst case scenario, Pumpkin would get pregnant with Pound Cake’s child but Cup Cake knew ways to prevent that. If she had to, abortion would be the only choice in the matter.

twow: FUCK! YOU!

Pinkamena: Damn. And I thought I got pissed.

 Pound Cake had no choice but to play the part of a scapegoat for her plan to work. She knew she was sacrificing so much of her morality and common sense for her plans but she didn’t have time of think of another. She wanted her stallion back.

~~~

twow: Alright. She’s going to basically not only fuck their children again for her to get Carrot back, but she’s also going to set her kids up together.

Pinkie: That’s not the best way to resolve conflicts.

Outside of the house, Carrot stood in front of his door, fearing what waited for him. For him it was a miracle he didn’t turn tail and find the first train to the west coast. As fucked up as he acted, he still had a sense of morality left in him, making him do the right thing and do…something that he couldn’t think of yet.

twow: Morality: The act of sexually abusing your offspring and believe that you didn’t do anything wrong.

Pinkie: Where can I get one of those dictionaries?

How would he tell his wife that he was sexually attracted to their daughter and already gave into the worst of taboo’s? How would he break the news to the mare he shared a large part of his life with only to fall to his young temptress of a daughter who didn’t even need to raise a hoof to bend his will?

twow: With your mouth, lungs and vocal chords.

“Fuck! Why did she have to be so beautiful and me so fucking weak!?” Carrot cursed at the ground, fuming over his own weakness.

Pinkamena: If that gets answered, then we don’t even need to riff the rest of this.

Carrot went quiet, hoping some unheard answer would greet him, saving him from his disaster. The only sound that greeted his ears was the sound of the wind blowing soundly, and a few birds singing in the distance. Forcing his eyes back up, he felt a bead of sweat run down his neck, making his body shiver with a bit of fear.

Pinkie: Silly! All ya gotta do is just tell her!

twow: Yeah. That conversation will end well.

 Taking a deep breath to try and relax himself, Carrot thought of how to break the news.

“Hey sweetheart! Did you know I fucked our daughter this morning?”

Too up front.

twow: Not up front enough, if you ask me.

“Cup Cake can…we take a small walk and talk about something?”

He would just stall and feel weird talking to her about what he did in public.

“Cup Cake, you and I need to talk about something very important, but I suggest we sit down first.” The final idea seemed to be the right one for him to use, yet he failed to keep his words in his head letting them slip out, catching the attention of a nearby mare leaving her house.

Pinkamena: “Make sure you don’t have any liquid in your mouth.”

“Wife problems neighbour?” Carrots ears were filled with the sound of a certain unicorn mare he had come to know well over the years. Turning his head slightly, his eyes caught the sight of the minty green mare, Lyra Heartstrings, walking up to him.

twow: “You have NO idea...”

“Oh, hi Lyra,” Carrot replied, letting himself relax. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” He added in a lower tone.

“Hmm, want a shoulder to lean on? I’ll hear you out if you want talk about it,” She asked him as she sat down on her haunches.

Pinkie: I’m not so sure she’d be the best to talk about this with.

twow: Pinks, NOPONY is the best to talk about that with.

Carrot smiled briefly and sat down as well. Lyra was a very caring mare when around her friends and family and loved to try and cheer people up. She was like Pinkie, just less nutty and with more self-control. One flaw she had was she was too open at some points, giving ponies the wrong impression of her. Maybe this mare would help give him the answer he was looking for.

twow: Any answer besides “go to a marriage counselor” is WRONG.

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Carrot knew he would have to be careful with his words but knew Lyra was on the same level as him. She was married after all and to a mare as well. Sure there was a lot of neighsayers who detested the idea of same sex marriage in Equestria but Carrot had no quarrel with her or her ‘wife’ Bon-bon considering both were regulars at the shop.

twow: That word made me cringe.

Pinkamena: That word made ME cringe.

“Have…you ever done something stupid enough that you knew Bon-Bon would be very enraged with you?” He asked, cutting his words.

“Ah you’re having wife problems it seems! Yeah I did. Once I woke up with her mouth around my horn and though it scared me, I moved closer to get a better feeling of it!”

Pinkamena: Come again?

twow: The horn is a egrousious spot in some of these stories. I don’t know if that’s true in real life.

She replied with almost no hesitation in her voice. “She ended waking up and getting mad at me for using her, but we worked it out and made up about a day later,”

Carrot froze as she spoke so openly about an act like that, and almost lost the words he wanted to say to her.

twow: They slipped out and broke on the ground.

Pinkie: More fragile than glass.

“E-ever do something really horrible that you two almost ended up breaking up?” He asked, shaking off her previous answer.

Lyra frowned at him but quickly looked around to make sure no one was listening. She seemed a bit nervous to tell him about what she was thinking of.

“Can you keep a secret?” She said pulling his lanky body close to hers.

twow: Well, he hasn’t told anyone about fucking his daughter yet.

Pinkamena: You’re good, Lyra.

For a brief second, Carrot felt like he was back in Filthy’s house about to learn something he wished he didn’t want to hear about.

“Sure, I promise my lips are sealed.”

Pinkie: “And I don’t even have to use the duct tape this time!”

“Well…It was about a year after we got married actually. We were hitting a rough patch in our relationship and we sought other ways to…comfort ourselves,” There was a hint of embarrassment in her words as she spoke to him.

“Di-Did both of you…”

twow: “Dance? Oh hell no.”

Pinkie: “Disco is so dead, don’t you know that?”

“Cheat on each other? Nah, well not me actually, I turned to books to ease my pain. Learned a few things that helped relationships get along better and a bit of mythology,” Her voice was starting to sound a bit more eccentric as she weaned into the end about mythology.

“And what about Bon-Bon? You said only you didn’t cheat.”

Pinkamena: That means that Bon-Bon DID.

twow: (rubs his head) Tired...

“Hm, I did imply that didn’t I? Well sadly it’s true, she did. Caught her in bed with some mare one day after I finished early at the bar. Some hussy from Dodge Junction. It was…rough to say the least,”

twow: She decided to jump in. (smacked by Lyra)

Pinkamena: You deserved that one.

 Lyra looked a bit uncomfortable as she brought up sour memories.

twow: Not quite unlike a lemon.

Pinkie: I think it’s more like a lime.

“How did you deal with it?”

twow: “I killed the bitch.”

“As any pony would. Got upset, broke a few vases, yelled a lot, and accidentally scorched the wall with magical fire.”

Pinkie: You don’t always have to use violence!

twow: But it feels good.

Carrot felt nervous as he wanted to pull himself away from her. Everything felt too casual about her sentence, especially when she spoke about the magic fire like it was no big deal.

twow: She has these freakouts regularly.

“Of course me and Bonnie worked our way around it. It didn’t happen instantly and we did visit a therapist for advice and such for a few months, but eventually we ended up staying together and being happier than ever!”

Pinkie: “We’re even going to adopt soon!”

twow: “It’s a boy.”

“You almost seemed…relieve to tell me of this Lyra,” Carrot was noticing subtle changes in her posture at times.  Barely any fidgeting, keeping her eyes stuck on him, like she wasn’t struggling to let the words out, and he was sure the air around her felt less…heavy.

Pinkamena: Now she was ready to fight.

twow: Eh. I don’t know...

“Never really talked about it since no one asked. I only brought it up since you and your lady seem to be in a rough patch, and…well I saw your little girl run out of your house earlier, signaling something must have been up. Heard Pound Cake shouting at her as well but didn’t catch what he said.”

twow: Seems legit to me.

Pinkamena: I’m wondering why Lyra didn’t try to catch Pumpkin.

Carrot froze up at the thought of his daughter running out and knew his worst fear had happened. Pound Cake heard everything that went down and no doubt told Cup Cake about what happened while confronting his sister as well. Now he would have to deal with a drunken angry mare that would no doubt beat his skull in with an empty alcohol bottle.

twow: No, but you are going to have to deal with the fact that your wife did the same thing you did.

Pinkamena: Only she was drunk. ONLY difference.

“Oh god, why didn’t I lock the door?” Carrot asked himself, feeling a bit more faint than usual.

“It’s…very complicated for me Lyra,” Carrot said nervously noticing the mint mare was giving him a worried look. “Let’s just say that I…strained my relationship with both my daughter and wife.”

twow: Was that last sentence even NEEDED?

Pinkie: Its been taking lessons from Ninja Comma.

“Thought as much, but I trust you can fix it. I won’t pry about the details if you don’t feel like sharing it with me. You’re a good stallion, Carrot. You care for your wife and kids very much. Just remember families aren’t perfect alright? We all go through problems, big and small, yet we patch them up and put them behind us.”

twow: “And only a few of us actually rape each other.”

Pinkamena: Okay, that was dark for you. Even if you’re in a dark place.

“If it was only that easy for me…” Carrot thought, biting his bottom lip.

“Hey, stop looking so glum will you? If you think it’s that bad, I could give you the card of the therapist me and Bonnie visited.”

twow: If she can help, I need to get her number.

Pinkie: No ya don’t. You’ve got me for that!

twow: (hugs Pinkie) You bet.

 Lyra suggested noticing her little pep talk wasn’t getting the results she hoped for.

Pinkamena: It’s a little hard to cheer someone up that’s raped their child.

twow: Cookies and milk. Fixes everything.

“That…would be something I would like,” Carrot admitted, knowing it would take professional help to fix his mess.

Lyra grinned and bounced up slightly.

“See! You’re already taking the first step in trying to fix your relationship, however I’m running late for my shift so I’ll drop off the card tomorrow when you’re open alright?”

Pinkie: What if they never opened?

twow: Then the card would never be delivered.

Pinkie: (gasping) OH NO!

Carrot smiled and nodded his head at her. He felt a bit of relief but nowhere near where he wanted it to be. Still, it was something for him. He knew Lyra and Bon-Bon went through the same crisis as he’s going through and they worked through it. Sure they didn’t have kids, or end up fucking them, but it was still a bit of level ground to work on.

twow: No. It’s actually not.

Pinkamena: It changed as soon as you inserted your penis into her.

 With a simple goodbye, Lyra trotted off, leaving the stallion to his own thoughts. Turning his body back to his door, the fear he felt before returned to him, weighing him back down. Thanks to Lyra’s small tale and words of encouragement, Carrot felt a bit reassured and slowly formulated a way to break the news to his wife. With a deep breath, he reached for it and turned the handle…

twow: And it exploded!

Pinkie: CANDY FOR EVERYONE!!!!

~~~

The sudden sound of the front door opening signaled to Cup Cake that her husband had returned home from his visit with Filthy. Jerking her eyes up, both individuals froze as their eyes connected. For Carrot, he could see the look of a mare that was taken out of extreme thoughts and almost felt like she was thinking something that Carrot wouldn’t be too keen on.

twow: She’s not quite ready to see her naked.

Pinkamena: We’re always naked.

twow: I rest my case.

 For Cup Cake she could see the fear and hurt in his eyes, showing he was very reluctant on returning home.

Cup Cake wished she had a bit more time to think of how to play her plan out. She had the basics covered, but saying the proper words to get the plan in motion without looking suspicious was the hard part.

twow: Her cardboard box and red exclamation point was in the corner.

 What she wouldn’t give for a few extra minutes of time for that. With a loud sigh, she pulled herself up and slowly trotted towards him. She had no choice but to make it up as she went…

Pinkamena: Down to hell for her crimes.

twow: Let’s get out of here.

(Pinkie’s mane poofs back to normal and she passes out)

twow: (catching Pinkie) Oof!

Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Is she alright?

twow: I can’t wait for this story to be over. She’s alright, for now.

Dash: What’s going on?

twow: The title of the story is affecting her, really strangely.

Dash: Really now?

twow: It’s a mental thing. The first two chapters angered her so much that her brain is wired to flip whenever she has to riff it.

Dash: Yikes.

twow: Yeah. If this story keeps up, she’ll be in a permanent state of switching emotions.

Dash: Maybe it’ll end soon.

twow: Maybe. Either way, I’m not looking forward to the next chapter.

Dash: Neither am I.

twow: Go ahead and hit the button. I’ll make sure Pinkie’s safe.

Dash: Alright.

(Dash hits the button, turning the TV off with a blip.)

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: "Silly Applejack." There, fixed it for ya.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: ...that sentence makes no sense.

Jack Crossman:

FlutterJack: I did. It was awful. I still have the taste of metal in my mouth.

Yosie Schwaniger:

SC: Sparkz once tried making a cake out of computer bits.

Sparkz: I liked it! Electrifying taste.

Calcutta: That shocked ev'ryone else that tried t' eat it silly.

Sparkz: Not my fault.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: Even a broken clock's right twice a day. I mean, unless it was pulverized with a sledgehammer or something.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: No, it's implying that that's what Carrot thinks. Not that that's much better.

Yosie Schwaniger:

SC: ...Oh right, *incest* fic. Of course.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: Voldemort?

Ryan Wills:

Tatsurou: It's probably a good thing you aren't there, though.  If you were, it might have been you getting it on with Carrot in Chapter one.

SteelResolvefimfic:

... how exactly would Pinkie making love with Carrot be worse than him fucking his own daughter?

Ryan Wills:

Tatsurou: Given the style of fanfic it is, Pinkie'd probably end up raped.  As is, at least Carrot still feels protective of Pumpkin, even if he knows he did something horrible to her.

SteelResolvefimfic:

True, but pinkie would know what he was doing, and be better equipped to fight him off. Not to mention if he somehow did manage it, her friends would be there to help. I think even Pinkie would prefer it to having pumpkin raped.

Ryan Wills:

Tatsurou: I guess that is a valid point.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: You sure about that? You might be a figment of your imagination.

Stranger things have happened.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: You forgot to mention that you did so with alcoholic breast milk. Mustn't forget the most ridiculous part of the whole thing.

Mustafa Yousif:

But sometimes rape victims are ashamed. They feel like it was their fault, or they could have done something to stop it. Was it really rape? they think. Or did I really want it?

Drew Meadows:

twow: I said that because that's what I've been fighting.

Yosie Schwaniger:

Sparkz: TITLE DROP!

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: Again, intoxicating breast milk. Vinegar is the LEAST of my worries.

Ryan Vail:

One-Up: Always worked for my family!

Mustafa Yousif:

And here I actually had hope this story would go a better direction.

Ryan Vail:

One-Up: You set your hopes to high.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: I'd rather not.

Jack Crossman:

FlutterJack: If you want, I can let you borrow the gun I have that goes straight through the riffer immortality. As long as you aren't part Time Lord, you should die.

SteelResolvefimfic:

don't tempt the riffers with a quick death. especially since it would create a paradox.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: Don't be Applejack, Pinkie, the answer is obviously no.

Mustafa Yousif:

Suddenly, "Pound my Pumpkin" crossover.

Mustafa Yousif:

Hentai Logic FTW!

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: In other news, the ocean is wet.

Ryan Vail:

One-Up: And Donald Tru- Fuckface von Clownstick makes a fool of himself of Twitter.

Yosie Schwaniger:

SC: Morality 2 is still technically morality.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: You mean the daughter that knows nothing about sex? Yeah, totally a "temptress".

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: What do you have against the word "shop"? :P

Yosie Schwaniger:

SC: Maybe because the horn is better connected to the brain because... magic?

SteelResolvefimfic:

The general theory on horns being an erogenous zone is based on how they would need to have a certain degree of sensitivity to work magic at all. Its not so much the horn itself reacting though, its the magical aura of the horn.

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: "Lemon tree very pretty, and the lemon flow'r is sweet/But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat."

Joseph Rasche:

Warrior: ALCOHOLIC. BREAST. MILK.

Ryan Vail:

One-Up: On a page of my own.

In Loving Memory

Thank god that I’m actually taking a look at a GOOD story for a change. I need the break from the shit I’ve read.

Today’s story is called In Loving Memoryand deals with the death of one of my favorite ponies, Derpy Hooves. And my god, is this a well written story. I’m actually looking FORWARD to this.

So why am I still wasting time? Here’s In Loving Memory.

Dinky Hooves: Come ontwow! I know you have SOMEpony!

twow: I do not!

Dinky: Your mouth says no, but your eyes say yes.

twow: Why are you so pent up on this subject?

Dinky: Everypony should have a special somepony!

twow: Maybe so Dinky, but I’m a human, remember?

Dinky: So? Don’t some of your other human friends have special someponies?

twow: Well, Atlas does...I know someone else does as well...

Dinky: So why not?

twow: Alright Dinky. I have had an...attraction to a pony here.

Dinky: Really? Who?

twow: Well...

Pinkie: (from TV)Is it me?

twow: MOTHER- no Pinkie. It’s not you.

Pinkie: Aww...but that’s okay!

twow: Mood whiplash much? Anyway, what’s up Pinkie?

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

twow: WHY do I always ask?

Dinky: Oh, you’re doing a riff again? Alrighty, grow me up!

twow: You seem a bit too okay with the fact that I’ve messed up your age chromosomes.

Dinky: Well, we get to have fun, right? Do we have fun?

twow: Sometimes. Alright, I’ll see you in a little bit. (snaps his fingers)

(Dinky’s horn glows and in a flash of light, she’s grown into a teenage mare)

twow: Alright Pinkie, what is it today?

Pinkie: It’s a sadfic called “In Loving Memory.”

Dinky: That doesn’t sound bad. Who’s in it?

Pinkie: Your mother!

Dinky: ...

twow: Oh boy.

*BUZZ*

twow and Dinky: We’ve got story sign!

In Loving Memory

By Draklox

twow: Ah, Drak.

Dinky: You know him?

twow: Friend of ours. Usually hits us with bad fics.

        Derpy awoke with the rising sun.

twow:♫It’s the ciiiiiiiircle of liiii-♫(kicked by Dinky)

Dinky: Wrong song.

 It had been her habit for so many years that even though she hadn’t needed to for so long, she still did. She yawned as she stretched her legs and wings, her joints making popping sounds.

twow: Everything pops with Derpy!

Dinky: She comes in “original” and “muffin”.

Even though she had a full nights sleep, she was still very tired. The doctor had told her it came with getting into her twilight years. But today was a special day. Dinky was coming into town and had some great news.

Dinky: “I lost my virginity!”

twow: Damn Dinky.

She didn’t know what the news was yet, but for her daughter to come all the way from Canterlot so it had to be something special.

        As Derpy slowly walked down the hall towards the kitchen, she passed tokens of a long and successful life.

twow: “That was when I destroyed Town Hall...”

Dinky: “That one was from Nightmare Night...”

 Hung on the wall was a picture of her and her daughter, taken moments after Dinky’s birth; a plaque she received when she retired, denoting thirty years of service with the Equestrian Postal Service

Dinky: Now that’s dedication.

twow: Impressive.

; a picture of her daughter graduating Canterlot College For Advanced Magical Studies;

Dinky: Yup. That’s me.

twow: You got a long way to go.

 a copy of her commendation for bravery for helping the Ponyville weather team corral a wayward storm from the Everfree Forest. Yes, she was proud of her own accomplishments, but her true treasures were the accomplishments of her daughter.

twow: Do tell.

        Derpy entered the kitchen and started boiling water for her morning oatmeal. While the water heated she went to her porch and retrieved the morning paper. These days she moved much slower than she had when she was younger.

twow: That’s usually how it works.

Dinky: Not always. Sometimes you get faster!

twow: What are you smoking?

As she set the paper on the kitchen table, she heard her kettle whistle. She pulled a bowl from the cabinet and poured some oats into it. Then she poured a measure of hot water on top of the oats. She got a spoon from the drawer and took her breakfast to the table.

Dinky: That’s gonna be on the test.

twow: In THAT ORDER.

 She sat and ate her food while skimming through the paper. Nothing caught her eye so she finished and put the empty bowl in the sink, filling it with water so it would be easier to clean later. She then took the paper into the living room to browse through it more completely.

twow: Relaxing and reading. My idea of a nice morning.

        An hour later she still had found nothing interesting to read. She stifled a yawn and went to her bookshelf to get something to read to pass the time. Once she made her selection she returned to the couch to pass the two hours till she was to meet Dinky at Sugarcube Corner.

Dinky: Why wouldn’t I just go to her house?

twow: Laziness?

 As she read she continued to yawn, her head slowly lowering. Slowly she drifted into a peaceful sleep. Shortly after she fell asleep her breathing and heartbeat slowed. As she napped, her body slowly shut down, drifting off into an eternal slumber.

Dinky: (shocked) Oh...

twow: Holy damn, that escalated quickly.

        Dinky arrived at the Ponyville train station at eleven thirty. She had to take a later train than she would have preferred, but her morning doctors appointment confirmed what she had thought. And that was the whole reason for the sudden visit to her mother.

twow: “I got the test results back. I definitely have breast cancer.”

Normally she came to Ponyville one weekend a month to spend time with her mother, but this was special. She had just found out she was pregnant with her first foal. She couldn’t wait to tell her mother the good news. Derpy was going to be a grandmother.

twow: Damn Dinky. Getting busy, are we?

Dinky: (swatting at twow) Shut up!

She had taken the rest of the week off from The Canterlot Center For Advanced Magical Research just for this trip. She would have brought her husband along as well but his work was at a critical stage and he couldn’t take time off without wasting months of work.

twow: He’s creating the pony equivalent of the atomic bomb.

Dinky: Everything explodes into sunshine and rainbows.

 Dinky didn’t mind, she knew he would make it up to her the next weekend she came to see her mother.

        As she waited in Sugarcube Corner, Dinky glanced at the clock. Derpy was almost half an hour late. This worried Dinky, her mother was never late.

twow: “Everyone else was just early.”

 Maybe she had lost track of time. Dinky decided to go to her mother’s house to make sure everything was ok. As she turned the corner to the street her mother lived on, she waved to her

childhood friend Apple Bloom. She was running the family apple stand today.

Dinky: Hopefully she won’t force my dad to buy some apples this time.

twow: (laughs)

 Apple Bloom smiled and returned the wave. Dinky continued down the street to her mother’s house.

        When she arrived, she knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again. Still no answer.

Dinky: Then I broke the door down.

twow: Little extreme?

Dinky: Not extreme enough.

 This worried her. She opened the door and walked inside. “Mom” she called out, trying to see if her mom, however unlikely, had just forgotten the time. She walked into the living room and saw her mother laying in the couch, apparently napping peacefully.

twow: “Oops, sorry...”

Dinky: “WAKE UP!!”

 “Hey mom, did you forget about our lunch together at Sugarcube Corner?” Dinky asked. Her mother didn’t stir from the sound of her voice. “Mom, are you ok?” she asked, confused as to why her mother continued lying there.

twow: Because she’s tired.

Dinky: twow!

Still no response. She lightly prodded her mother with a forehoof. Still her mother didn’t move. Then she noticed that her mother’s chest wasn’t moving. “MOM!” she yelled.

Dinky: “Why do you go where I can’t follow?”

 And still her mother laid there. Then the situation dawned on her. A feeling of terror washed over her as she realized the horrible truth.

        Then she screamed.

twow: Took her long enough.

Dinky: I hate you sometimes.

        Apple Bloom was having a good day at the market. It was barely past lunch and she had sold almost all of the apples and treats she had brought. As Snails dropped the bits for the turnovers he bought onto the counter of the cart, a loud scream tore through the din of the marketplace.

twow: “Damn it! Who let the three-headed dog out again!”

Apple Bloom immediately turned to the direction the scream came from. Her blood chilled when she saw the source of the scream. It came from Dinky’s mothers house. Losing all concern for the apples and the bits, she ran from her cart to the house the screaming was coming from.

twow: I would have pushed the cart with me.

Dinky: Really twow?!

twow: What? Apples are serious business! (smacked by Dinky)

        As she entered the house, she saw Dinky sobbing and hugging her mother. Then as she looked at Derpy a flash of memory came to her. The memory of the day Granny Smith died. Derpy had the same peaceful look on her face.

twow: You heard it here folks. Everypony will have the same peaceful look at death.

Dinky: It’ll make the pictures easier to take.

 Apple Bloom rushed over and grabbed the sobbing Dinky in her forelegs and held her in a tight embrace, tears from the day her grandmother died rising to her eyes.

twow: Where did they rise from?

Dinky: Her soul.

twow: Impressive.

        Rainbow Dash was resting on a cloud, her exercise routine taking a lot out of her. Though she had gotten older, she refused to slow down any more than she had to. She was in top shape for a mare her age.

Dinky: Well, that’s Rainbow Dash for you.

twow: I’m proud.

 And she aimed to keep it that way. As she dozed, she heard a scream of terror. Immediately she was in flight, zooming towards the sound. Then she realized where the scream was coming from. It was her friend Derpy’s house.

twow: Wasn’t that already established?

Dinky: A few more times hammered into our brains won’t kill us.

 “What the hay?” Dash thought. She came in for a harder landing than she normally would have.

Dinky: Snapping her spine in the process.

twow: (shudders)

The door was standing wide open, so she rushed inside.

        The scene in front of her sent a chill down her spine. Dinky and Apple Bloom sat locked in a tight embrace, both crying. And on the couch lay Derpy, appearing to be peacefully asleep. But Dash could see the awful truth. Something was seriously wrong with Derpy.

twow: Besides the obvious fact that she’s dead?

Dinky: She’s older, she’s gonna need a few minutes.

 Apple Bloom saw Dash out of the side of her blurry eye and yelled to the pegasus “Get help!”. Dash did the only thing she knew how to do in this type of situation. She bolted for the door and took flight, as fast as she could at her age, straight for Ponyville Hospital.

Dinky: And Apple Bloom didn’t go do that, why?

twow: The tears would have tripped her over.

        When she arrived, she was out of breath. Her heart was hammering away in her chest so hard she feared it would give out under the strain. The young nurse at the counter looked at Dash with concern. She had never seen the pegasus push herself so hard.

twow: She wasn’t there during the three times she performed a Sonic Rainboom.

 “What’s wrong, Rainbow Dash?” asked the nurse. “You look like you’re going to have a heart attack!”

        “Quick, I need a doctor to get to Derpy Hooves’ house right now!” Rainbow yelled.

        “What’s going on?” the nurse asked again.

        “Something is terribly wrong with her.” Dash explained

twow: “She’s dead and we can’t figure that out!”

Dinky: “We need a firefighter STAT!”

        At that moment a unicorn doctor came into the lobby. “What’s wrong with who?” the doctor asked

        “It’s Derpy, I think she’s badly sick.” Dash replied.

        “Where is she?” the doctor inquired.

        “Her house.” Dash said.

twow: Guess his hearing aid didn’t pick that up.

Dinky: Or the author needed more words.

        “I’ll teleport there right now. You stay here and rest. I wouldn’t want you to become a patient from overexertion.” the doctor said and teleported out of the hospital.

        The nurse led Dash to a waiting room and gave her a glass of water. Rainbow sat in a chair and silently hoped her friend would be ok, but a part of her knew the sad truth.

twow: Why didn’t he teleport her as well?

Dinky: Hell if I know.

        The doctor arrived to a terrible scene.

Dinky: There was blood EVERYWHERE!

twow: AHHHHHHHHHH!

 Two mares sat on the floor, holding each other and crying. A third older mare lay apparently sleeping on the couch next to them. He subtly used his magic to scan the older mare, and gasped as his worst fears were confirmed.

twow: “Yup. That’s breast cancer.”

Dinky: “Damn it!”

 The mare had passed away over an hour ago. The sound of his gasp alerted the younger mares to his presence. The earth pony looked at him with knowing eyes, but the unicorn had a pleading look. Softly, he simply said “I’m terribly sorry for your loss.” The unicorn broke down, harder than before, sobbing uncontrollably.

Dinky: How did I break down even HARDER?

twow: With effort.

        As soon as he found out, Dinkys husband dropped everything and took the next train to Ponyville. Months of research would be lost, but he didn’t care. He had to be there for his wife. When he arrived, his wife was still crying.

twow: Holy damn. How did you not dehydrate and pass out?

Dinky: I took crying breaks.

twow: Seems legit.

 He took her in his forelegs and held her tightly. He had never seen her like this, but he also knew how close she was to her mother. He could tell her whole world was falling apart. All he could do for her was be there and provide emotional support.

Dinky: And sexua-

twow: How about you just stop yourself?

        The next three days were the closest thing to Tartrus for Dinky. All the arrangements for her mothers funeral had to be made.

twow: “It was quite the trial.”

Dinky: “Many lives were lost.”

It would have been impossible for her if not for her friends and her husband. Scootaloo had flown in from Cloudsdale, and as captain of the Wonderbolts, she had called off all training for the duration of her trip.

twow: That easily? Damn.

Dinky: I guess somepony was on hoof to fill in.

Sweetie Belle had came in from Manehatten, canceling several performances to be there for her friend. They, as well as Apple Bloom, Ruby Pinch, and her husband, had not left her side since they had arrived. If not for them, Dinky would have had a complete emotional breakdown.

Dinky: Besides the fact that I already did?

        The day of the funeral was sunny and warm. Rainbow Dash had called in a favor with the weather team. As the ponies attending took their seats, Dinky smiled for the first time since her mother died. Her mother had made many friends, and it seemed all of them had made time for her.

twow: Hell yeah! Derpy’s one of the most loved ponies in Ponyville!

Dinky: Really? That’s great.

In the front row across from her were the Elements of Harmony. Even Princess Twilight Sparkle had chosen to be here. In the row with her were all her Ponyville friends. Behind her seemed to be half the ponies in Ponyville. It warmed her heart that so many ponies cared about her mother.

Dinky: When one mare delivers the mail for so long, I’m sure that’ll be the case.

twow: I need to become a mailman now.

        As Sweetie Belle finished singing the song she had written for Derpy’s funeral, she took a seat next to Dinky. Then the princess took the stage and began to speak. “Today, we lay to rest a pony that exemplifies all the traits that we all strive to achieve.

twow: “In fact, she taught me all I know.”

Dinky: “The muffins were the best part of the lessons.”

 A loving mother that gave everything to see to it her daughter had the best chance for a good life. A loyal friend, there to help any pony that was in need. A hard worker, who always gave her all at any task. Many ponies knew her. More knew of her.

twow: And all loved her.

Dinky: (sniffs)

twow: You alright there?

Dinky: Keep going.

 And though she made some mistakes in her life, those are overshadowed by the good she did.” The princess restrained a small sob. “Many came from all over Equestria to pay their respects to Derpy Hooves. So let us begin.” And with that she stepped down to allow the next speaker.

Dinky: The next speaker was Snowflake.

twow: “YEAH!”

Dinky: “Alright, who’s next?”

        Pinkie Pie made her way to the podium. It was apparent she had been crying. Composing herself, she began. “I remember the first time I met Derpy, I had just moved to Ponyville. It was my first day working at Sugarcube Corner. She came in at lunch time and ordered a blueberry muffin.

twow: That’s our Derpy.

 After that, she came in everyday and ordered a muffin. She was the first friend I made here. I even made a habit of starting the muffins at the same time every day so they would be as fresh as they could be when she came in. Then, one day, she didn’t come in for her muffin.

Dinky: (gasps)

twow: STOP THE PRESSES!!

Several days went by without her stopping in. I soon learned from the Cakes that they had cut back hours at the post office and she couldn’t afford her daily muffins. She was spending all her bits to make sure her daughter had enough food. She was going days without food.” Pinkie sniffled at the memory.

twow: Wait, so she was eating nothing at ALL?!

Dinky: How did she keep up her strength?

twow: I really got nothing.

        “So, I started dropping off a basket of muffins at her house every day. I tried to pay the Cakes for the muffins, but they wouldn’t let me. When Derpy found out, she tried to pay for all the muffins when her hours picked back up, but I flat out refused.

twow: “Please can I pay you?”

Dinky: “Your bits are no good here!”

Any pony that would sacrifice her own comfort and wellbeing for their child deserves nothing less.” With a choked sob, Pinkie left the podium.

        The next pony to speak was Rarity. She looked composed but Dinky could tell she was as sad as anypony else.

twow: Only Rarity could pull that off.

 “Derpy was a bastion of generosity I only could hope to approach. When her daughter's senior prom was approaching, she came to me to commision for a dress for Dinky. She offered to model for me in exchange for the dress, due to her shortage of bits to pay for it. Naturally I took her offer, a live model works so much better than a mannequin.

Dinky: Is that true?

twow: Oh yeah. You can get a live model to show off how it’ll look if you walk and stuff.

Then one day she fell asleep waiting for me to retrieve the next outfit I wanted her to try on. When she realized she had fell asleep, she apologized profusely. I let her go home, but decided to look into it further.

twow: She’s 005.

Dinky: Fashionista by day, spy by night.

         It was then I found she had been moonlighting as a part time delivery pony for a local restaurant at night to earn extra bits to pay for her daughters prom.

Dinky: Ya know, Mom isn’t really that short on money.

twow: In fact, some of my inventions have helped bring in more.

She was putting in so many hours she was not getting enough sleep. The next day, I told her we were even for the dress, and to go home and get some sleep. I contacted my friends and arranged some rather hefty discounts for Dinky, so her prom would be most memorable, and her mother would be rested enough to attend as well.

twow: And nopony caught on. Nice job guys.

Dinky: Oh I can’t wait for my prom!

 Of all the things that can be said about Derpy, she was an exemplary mother who would go to any length to make her daughter happy.” Rarity concluded her speech and stepped down.

        Next up was Rainbow Dash. Out of the previous speakers, she was closest to Derpy. “Derpy was the most loyal pony I ever had the pleasure of knowing.

twow: “In fact, why the hell am I the Element of Loyalty?”

Dinky: “I think Celestia got the wrong pony.”

She made mistakes, but we all do at some point. I still remember the city hall incident. I was mad at first, until I found out that she was a little ditsy from lack of sleep.

Dinky: Actually, that’s true.

twow: I can believe that.

She had just hired a tutor to help Dinky learn magic, since she couldn't help her learn. And to pay for it she had taken a second full time job.  Me and the rest of the weather team took up a collection, after Apple Jack returned from the rodeo, to pay for the damage, so Derpy wouldn’t have to.

Dinky: What is it with the theme that my mom is broke?!

twow: Idk. Plot device?

 It would have devastated her if she had to. From that day forward if she got called on for weather duty, I gave her the easiest jobs I could find.

        Then came the day of the Everfree storm. I had seen it brewing for a few days, but it looked like it was going to head out to sea.

twow: But it forgot a boat.

 Then it turned toward Ponyville. I knew there was no way I could handle it on my own. I called upon every Pegasus I could find to help break it up before it devastated the town. We all attacked the storm, but most were quickly overwhelmed, and soon it was only me and Derpy still in flight.

twow: Holy damn. That’s impressive.

Dinky: That’s my mom.

We pushed ourselves to the breaking point, and we were just barely able to break it up before it got to Ponyville. We both received commendations from the mayor for our actions day, but her’s was more deserved than mine. I was the head of the weather team, she was only a postal pony, with no formal weather training. Yet she pushed herself to the breaking point to save the town.

twow: I thought it was just “fly really fast.”

Dinky: Eh. Weather training is gonna be different then postal training.

That was the kind of mare Derpy was. Even after Dinkys father passed away soon after she was born, she never gave up. Even having to raise a foal by herself, she never gave up. And now we must all remember, no matter what life gives you, never give up.” With tears in her eyes, Rainbow Dash stepped down.

Dinky: My dad died in this?

twow: He must have ran out of regenerations.

        Many other speakers shared memories and stories of Derpy's exceptional life. When all had said their piece about her, six stallions carried the coffin that contained her worldly remains to their final resting place. As the casket was lowered into the grave, Dinky broke down again.

twow: She was only in pieces at this point.

Dinky: Gives a new meaning to R.I.P.

 All the sacrifices her mother had made to see to it she had the best life possible, all the effort to give her the life her mother never had the chance to live, was more than the unicorn could handle. And as the casket reached the bottom of the grave, she tossed in a hooffull of dirt.

twow: “I have a dream, that one day you’ll take a shower!”

Dinky: “This dirt is a reminder!”

 Through her tear filled eyes, she could only make out the first three words on her mother's gravestone.

        In Loving Memory.

Dinky: And she will be remembered.

twow: Damn straight. Let’s head out.

twow: Damn...

Dinky: That...was a good story. A really good story.

twow: I mean, it takes the death of a character and just runs with it.

Dinky: And even better, it doesn’t have tentacles or rape or anything like that!

twow: Yeah. A peaceful death, and a damn great story.

Pinkie: I’m glad you liked it T. You deserved a good one.

twow: Well, that’s Pinkie.

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

twow: Oops, hold up. (snaps fingers, causing Dinky to revert to her filly form)

Dinky: That was fun. Now twow, you didn’t answer my question!

twow: Come again?

Dinky: Who’s your special somepony?

twow: Alright. It’s Fluttershy.

Dinky: Really?!

twow: Yeah, we kinda admitted it during a riff.

Dinky: (hugs twow) I’m so happy for you!

twow: Thanks Dinky.

Dinky: (gasps) I gotta go tell everypony!

twow: Dinky, wait!

(Dinky runs out the lab doors)

twow: Shit. I’ll catch you later Pinkie!

Pinkie: Alright T! Better go catch her!

(twow zaps himself to look like a pony, running out the door as the TV turns off with a blip)

Pound My Pumpkin, Chapters 1-2

Now you all know that when I do a riff, I give no mercy to the fic. And usually I don’t get a ton of feedback on if my riffs are liked, hated, or whatever. But I must be doing something right, because the author of this next fic wanted this. So, here we go.

Today’s story is called Pound My Pumpkinand I’m sure you can guess what takes place in this.

What’s with all the incest fics lately. First Family Bonds, then now this. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something, and I don’t wanna hear it.

Ah well. I bring to you the first two chapters of Pound My Pumpkin.

Cup Cake: Are you sure about this, twow? You don’t have to if you’re busy or what not.

twow: It’s fine Mrs. Cake. It’s least I can do for the sweets you brought me the other day.

Cup: Alright. They’ve both been fed, so there shouldn’t be much trouble. I’ll be back for them around six.

twow: You bet. I’ll see you later then.

(Cup Cake hugs and kisses Pound and Pumpkin Cake, then leaves the lab.)

Pinkie: (from TV) Hi T! What’s going on?

twow: Just doing a little babysitting.

Pinkie: Uh, did I not tell you that they know how to use their wings and horn?

twow: I know that. Why?

Pinkie: Because I want some of that candy they’re having.

(twow turns as both foals ingest a small blue jelly bean)

twow: Your mom was gone for FIVE SECONDS.

Pinkie: Yeah...(gasps) T! What’s happening?!

(A blue cloud surrounds the foals for a few seconds, and dissipates, leaving two teenaged ponies in their place.)

twow: Always with the age stuff, I SWEAR.

Pound: Uh...what just happened?

twow: I kinda accelerated your ageing process.

Pumpkin: Is this permanent?!

twow: Course not, it’s just gonna be for a while.

Pound: Wonderful.

Pinkie: Well, since you’re all here!

twow: Pinkie NO.

(The lab doors slam shut and lock)

Pinkie: Might as well pass the time, T!

twow: (sighs)

Pumpkin: Mr. twow, what’s going on?

twow: Just call me twow, and this is called a riff.

Pound: And that is...

twow: It’s when Pinkie locks me in here with a story for me and whoever’s with me to tear apart. What is it this time, Pinkie?

Pinkie: A real gem called “Pound My Pumpkin!”

Cake Twins: Uhhhhh...

twow: Clop?

Pinkie: Clop.

twow: Wonderful.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Pound My Pumpkin

Pumpkin: TITLE DROP!

Pound: I don’t think that really counts.

twow: This was supposed to be a one-shot.

Pound Cake smiled to himself as he flew home from school, his saddlebags full of his textbooks and homework.  So far, High School seemed to agree with him.

Pumpkin: So, we’re in high school at this point.

twow: Probably the same ages you are now. Thank everything that this isn’t foalcon.

Pound: That title though...

 He had made plenty of friends, he was actually on the school's stormball team, and was actually quite popular with the fillies, from what he'd heard tell.  Most of his colt peers seemed to be somewhat jealous, not that he liked that.

twow: Damn Pound. Getting all the fillies, hmm?

Pound: (blushing) Cut it out, man.

 He was always trying to make friends, just like his Aunt Pinkie had always taught him.

If only school was the worst of his problems.

Pumpkin: He had to deal with a severe case of acne.

twow: It brought him to his knees.

Reaching Sugarcube Corner, Pound slowly settled to the ground, folding his wings.  He pushed the door open as he entered, making the little bell ring.

"Just a second!  I'll be right with you!"

twow: “I’ve got a new brand of cup-” (smacked by Pinkie)

Cake Twins: O_O

The sound of that angelic voice triggered a reaction Pound both dreaded and had become used to.

*POOMF!*

twow: HIT THE DIRT!

As Pound struggled to relax and refold his wings, the source of the voice popped her head over the counter, and he lost all focus as he stared anew into those beautiful baby blue eyes.

Pound: Oh, I got a wingboner?

Pumpkin: To WHAT?

  "Big Brother!" she called happily, vaulting over the counter to embrace him.

twow: That answer your question?

Pumpkin: Yes...

Pound: What.

He couldn't help but admire the smoothness of her leap, the way her light muscles flowed under her skin, the way the light caught her spiral horn as she raced to his side...or how warm she felt against him.

Pound: No really, WHAT?!

twow: You have a sexual attraction to your twin. Okay then.

Pumpkin: This makes no sense!

  Within moments, he stepped back, recapturing his breath.  "Hey, sis!" he replied happily, struggling to keep his body reactions under control.

Pound: “Phew, almost pissed myself there.”

With their greetings out of the way, they headed into the store/residence, chatting about their days.  As they chatted, Pound couldn't help but reminisce about how this stuation had come to pass.

Pumpkin: twow?

twow: Hm?

Pumpkin: What’s a “stuation?”

twow: I think it’s a wild zombie bear.

Pumpkin: Oh. Thanks!

They had always been together.  That made sense, since they were twins.  They had shared such a strong bond since the day of their birth, and they always wanted to be together.  This had been just fine...until the day they entered puberty, the day they had gotten their Cutie Marks.

twow: So that’s when it happens?

Pound: Is this story telling us the future?

twow: Unless you really DO like your sister like this, no.

At the thought, Pound couldn't keep his eyes from straying to his sister's flank, where a slice of angel food cake adorned her buttery coat.

Pumpkin: (shifts in seat)

twow: No one’s looking, Pumpkin.

Pumpkin: I know, but this story makes me feel weird.

 He'd always thought it appropriate, since Pumpkin had always been an innocent little angel in his eyes.  The slice of Devil's Food on his own flank was - in his opinion - quite telling...as it was on the day he had earned it that he had discovered in his heart impure desires for his own twin.

Pound: Okay?

twow: Makes sense to me, you sly devil you. (smacked by Pound)

Their discussion over, Pumpkin returned to mind the store front, but not before turning back to him.  "Oh, by the way...Mom and Dad are going to be at the baking competition for the week, so we're on our own.

twow and Pound: TIMING!

  They feel they can trust us not to get into any mischef while they're gone.  We won't let them down, right big brother?"

Pound: “Only if we can figure out what “mischef” is.”

Pumpkin: “Dancing.”

Pound: “Oh. We’ll be fine then.”

He smiled reassuringly at her, trying to calm his heart.  There was another part of why this was so hard.  The way she called him 'big brother' always sent his heart racing.  She called him that because he had grown to be physically bigger than her...not that this gave him any power in their relationship.

Pound: Besides...being stronger than her?

twow: I’m not sure. Pumpkin does have magic, remember.

As he passed by the kitchen, he was once again reminded of why that was.  The glow of Pumpkin's magic surrounded nearly everything in their, as she continued to bake more sweets even as she minded the front counter.

twow: Multi-tasking like a champ.

Pumpkin: Why, thank you.

Princess Twilight had once suggested that Pumpkin be enrolled in Celetsia's school, but she had declined, as baking was her true passion.

Pumpkin: Who knows what the future holds?

As he passed, Pound couldn't help but extend a hoof to caress the flow of magical energy, feeling the texture of it, a mix of warm ice and silk that always made him shudder.

twow: That’s what it feels like?

Pound: Beats me.

His wings once more snapped open, and he quickly raced up to their room, glad that no one had ever explained 'wingboners' to Pumpkin.

twow: This better not turn into the “Family Bonds” Pumpkin. People will die.

Pumpkin: What do you mean?

twow: For whatever reason, the author of that decided to make you dumb as a brick when it came to sex.

Ever since the day they had matured, he had dealt with this...infatuation with his twin sister.  He could not escape it.  He had tried everything he could think of to escape it, to train himself away from it...but nothing worked.

Pound: Cold water.

Pumpkin: Hot water.

twow: Porkchops and applesauce.

 While other mares and fillies could catch his eye, and he could 'inspire' himself in various ways...nothing got him quite like her orange locks against her yellow coat.  Even the 'Playcolt' Wonderbolts issue with the Spitfire/Rainbow Dash centerfold

Dash: WHAT?!

twow: O_O

Cake Twins: Can we just move on now?

which his yearmates all claimed was the hottest thing this side of dragon breath - didn't make his wings snap to attention quite like a glimpse of those baby blue eyes gazing up at him through her eyelashes.

Pound: (rubbing his wings)

twow: I feel unclean right now.

And now he would be spending an entire week alone with his sister, with nopony around to help him keep himself in check.  As he collapsed onto his bed, he prayed his self control was up to the task.

Pumpkin: This story has more chapters. It probably won’t.

Pound slowly stirred, noticing a few things off.  For one, he was on his back, but he always slept on his stomach.  For another, a familiar warm-ice-and-silk sensation wrapped around all four hooves, as he lay spread eagled on his back.

twow: She magiced you to your bed.

Pound: Is “eagled” a word?!

Pumpkin: Don’t ask me.

But when he felt hot breath on his stallionhood, his eyes snapped open to the one thing he never expected to see.

twow: His moth-AAAAAAAAARGGGG!

Cake Twins: O_O

Pinkie: (from TV) Don’t think about that story, T!

Pumpkin sat between his hind legs, her eyes locked on his rising member in hungry fascination.  Her horn glowed in the misty light of the room.  Gazing up at him through her long eyelashes, she smiled.  "Awake, big brother?"

twow: Well, he is now!

Cake Twins: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!

He began to stammer in shock.  "Wha-?  Pumpkin?"  As she breathed on him once more he shivered.  "Pumpkin?  What?  Wha-"  A band of magic covered his mouth.

"Shh..." Pumpkin whispered.  "Don't question it."

Pound: I think questioning it is a good idea!

Pumpkin: Could this be classified as rape?

twow: Well, he HAS wanted this, so maybe not?

 Smiling at him, she once more breathed on his now erect stallionhood, then took it into her forehooves and began to caress it with her warm tongue.

Pound's head fell back as he moaned in pleasure.  He couldn't believe this was actually happening.

All: NEITHER CAN WE.

It was so wrong

Cake Twins: It is!

twow: But...

...but it felt so good.

twow: Called it.

Cake Twins: HAAAAAAAAATE!!!

  He had wanted something like this for so long, and now it was happening... All thought left his mind as she took him into her mouth, her warm, rough tongue caressing his member as her lips squeezed him gently.  As much as he tried to hold himself back, it wasn't long before he found his release.

twow:♫Release! I’m out of control!♫

Pumpkin: Should we slap him?

Pound: Hmm...Sure.

(Both twins smack twow)

As he opened his eyes, he saw Pumpkin licking her lips, having pulled back from him as he finished.  "Now there's the cream filling," she said seductively, before giggling at the ridiculous metaphore.

twow: Now we just need the metaphore, and out banana split with be complete!

 She then stepped back, her magic releasing his hooves.

He scampered to his hooves, struggling to wrap his mind around what had just happened.  He shook his head, trying to find words, but when he opened his mouth, nothing came out.

Pound: Something came out already though. (smacked by Pumpkin)

twow: That’s the spirit!

Pumpkin giggled.  "Don't worry, Big Brother.  I know exactly what's bothering you.  After all..."  She turned around, lowering her head to her hooves as she raised her flank into the air in his face.  She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.  "...I've been waiting for this as long as you have," she said, deliberately moving her tail to give him a fully unobstructed view of her dripping marehood.

Pumpkin: I would like to brutally murder the author. Is that a good thing?

twow: I take no responsibility for your actions.

Pound: What the hell does marehood even MEAN?!

His wings snapped to full extension so fast he was half afraid he'd pulled a muscle, but he wasted no time in concern.  "Pumpkin!" he cried in yearning as he moved forward, resting his upper body on her raised flank as he manuevered his member against her opening.

twow: “I just wanted waffles!”

Pumpkin: “You get pancakes instead!”

She let out a throaty moan.  "That's it...pound me..."

twow: With a sledgehammer.

Cake Twins: Oww...

Needing no further invitation, Pound pushed himself into his sister, losing himself in the moment as they both screamed out in pleasure.

Losing himself completely in the act, he pounded repeatedly into his sister, letting years of pent up yearnings out in this single moment.

Pound: Now I feel unclean.

twow: Get used to it.

  Pushing him on was the sound of sis sister's voice calling out to him.

Pumpkin: “Sis” sister?

twow: Hmm?

Pumpkin: ...the hell is that?!

twow: (sighs) You better not remember this language when you turn back.

  "Yes, that's it!  More, big brother, give me more!  Oh, Celestia, YES!  BIG BROTHER!!!"

Cake Twins: MAKE IT STOP!

twow: It’s almost over guys!

Pound shot to his hooves, his blanket falling off his shoulders.  Glancing out the window, he saw that the sun was just starting to set.  He blinked, trying to make sense of what just happened.  Was it...was it just a daydream?"

Pound: For us? More of a nightmare.

Pumpkin: (nods)

Pumpkin stuck her head in the room.  "Big Brother," she said sweetly, "dinner's almost ready."

Pound nodded dumbly.  Pumpkin pulled her head back.  Pound looked up at the setting sun, and prayed to Celestia's fading light that he might find a way to stop wanting his sister this way.

twow: But that probably won’t happen.

Pound: Damn.

But as he turned around, he prayed his darkest desire to Luna's rising moon...that he might see a sign that Pumpkin wanted him back.

Pumpkin: Not like this!

twow: Cut it, Pinkie! Right now!

twow: Why in the fuck Pinkie. WHY IN THE FUCK.

Pinkie: (from TV) I’m sorry T! Really!

Pumpkin: Why does the author think that about my brother?

twow: True fax? Prolly because of the audience.

Pound: Wait, people LIKE THIS?!

twow: Yes. It’s gotten so bad that people are actually masterbating to a story where my girlfriend is raped by tentacles, and then blown apart from the inside.

Pumpkin: I can’t...

Pound: Wait, who’s your girlfriend?

twow: Fluttershy.

Pumpkin: Aww... that’s adorable.

Pound: But answer me this twow. Why are these stories even written?

twow: A lot of the time, it’s because the authors really enjoy writing them, like this author and Bronystories, to name a few. But other times, it’s so that it’ll get liked by a ton of people.

Pound: Really now.

twow: Clopfics are some of the most liked stories on the site, hands down.

Pumpkin: Aren’t there any GOOD clopfics?

twow: Oh hell yeah. The Cupcake Chronicles, Xenophilia, Beating the Heatand that’s just a FEW of them.

Pound: We should do one of those next time.

twow: That’s if I’m ever allowed to watch you again.

Pinkie: You will T. And I decided that I’m only going to make you guys do two chapters at a time.

twow: Thanks Pinkie. We’ll need that.

Pinkie: Yup! Good luck!

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Bond

twow: “James Bond.”

Pumpkin sighed as she watched her brother walk towards the stairs.  She had hoped he would be excited about the idea of them having the house to themselves for a week.  A week just to be themselves, where they could rekindle their bond as twins.

Pound: I’ll set up the fireplace.

Pumpkin: I’ll get the marshmallows!

  But it seemed he didn't have an interest in that after all.  If anything, the idea of being alone with her seemed to upset him for some reason.

twow: Well, you’re not wrong there.

Pound: Bluh.

She turned back to the front counter, levitating some cupcakes over to fill where she had just sold out.  She wasn't sure why, but whenever she minded the front counter, a lot of Pound's friends showed up to buy plenty of sweets...usually saying some of the silliest things.

twow: “Look at the plot on that filly!” (smacked by Pumpkin)

The first time she'd mentioned this to her folks, her mom said it might be the time for the talk about "the birds and the bees".  However, her Aunt Pinkie had already explained that to her; bees make honey, and birds eat bees.

twow: Pinkie KNOWS what the birds and the bees are!

 She failed to see how that was relevant to the behaviour of colts, but her folks seemed relieved that she already knew...whatever it was, so she didn't make a fuss.

Pumpkin: I know what it means, and it’s not that.

twow: It IS pulling a “Family Bonds” on you!

Pound: Maybe we should keep going.

As she restocked, she felt Pound's hoof brush against her magic in the kitchen.  Even as she minded the front counter, she could reach into the kitchen with her magic and mix batter, bake sweets, mix icing, and apply all the finishing touches every individual sweet needed to make it just perfect.

twow and Pound: WANT.

Pumpkin: Aww, you guys.

Princess Twilight Sparkle had examined her skill level and recommended to her parents that she attend Celestia's school for Gifted Unicorns in Canterlot...but she had declined.  Baking was her true passion, and she already had enough knowledge and control to do that...and she couldn't imagine leaving her brother behind.

Pound: Didn’t the story tell us this already?

Pumpkin: ...twow, why do you have a goldfish bowl?

twow: Trust me, we’re gonna need it.

The touch of his hoof against her magic brought a breif smile to her face,

Pumpkin: How do you make a breif smile?

twow: Like this. (smiles)

Pound: MAKE IT STOP!

 though she sighed as she could feel him turn to go up to the room they'd shared since birth, her residual magic still clinging to his hoof as he walked up the stairs.  Glancing around, she saw how late it was getting and turned the sign on the door to 'CLOSED'.

twow: “Time to masterbate.” (smacked by both twins)

 She then packed up the remaining fresh baked goods for the day.  Some would be placed in the 'day olds' cabinet, sold at a discount the next day.  The rest were donated, divided between orphanages and other community services that could always use the extra sweet bun or two.

Pound: Food that’s past it’s hold time can still be eaten right?

twow: No reason why not.

Having finished the packing and clean up, Pumpkin worked to prepare dinner.  She'd been expanding her culinary skills beyond baked goods, so she decided she'd make an eggplant primavera with apple turnovers for afters.  As this dish was new to her, she needed to be in the kitchen to make it.

Pumpkin: When would I NOT be in the kitchen?

Pound: Guess you’re that good with magic.

twow: Or when you're busy rutting your brother.

Cake Twins: TWOW!

twow: You both know it’s gonna happen!

As she finished cooking, she set the table and turned to go get her brother.  As she entered the room, however, she saw he was asleep.  She figured he had a rough day.

Pumpkin: So, leave him alone then?

twow: He’s still gotta eat.

"Zzz...wha...Pumpkin..."

Pumpkin blinked.  He was dreaming about her?  Why would he be dreaming about her?  She didn't understand.

Pound: But WE do.

twow: Ugh.

  "Big Brother?" she called out, concerned.

"Zaa...Pumpkin...Pumpkin!"  He shot to his hooves in his bed tossing his covers off.  He glanced out the window, then towards the door.

Pumpkin smiled at him.  "Big Brother, dinner's almost ready."

twow: “Get dat ass to dinner!”

Pumpkin: “Don’t make me take away dessert!”

  When he nodded, she pulled back, heading downstairs to make sure everything was just right, wanting to make sure that Pound would be comfortable.

When Pound joined her at the table, she smiled, pleased to see the effect the smell of dinner had on him.  As he sat down to ebgin eating,

Cake Twins: What.

twow: Okay, now that’s just ridiculous.

 she tasted the food herself.  She was glad to see she had done such a good job.

"Delicious as always, sis," Pound said distractedly, devouring his food.

Pumpkin chuckled to herself, watching herbrother devour his food with his usual eagerness.

twow: In “Family Bonds” we had Ninja Comma.”

Pumpkin: Now you have...

Pound: Ninja Space.

 Mom sometimes wondered if he even took the time to taste it.  "So Pound," she began as she enjoyed her meal as well, "it's been a while since we had a chance to sit and talk, just the two of us.  We've both been so busy."

twow: “Some of us with different things.”

Pound: “Some naughty.”

Pumpkin: “Some nice.”

Pound nodded.  "Mph-hmm," he said through his mouthful of food.

"It'll be nice to get to know each other again," she said, twirling her fork in the pasta.

Pound blinked.  "Mph."

Pumpkin: Words are your friends.

Pound: Food comes first.

Pumpkin chuckled.  "You never did learn good table manners, did you, big brother?  How are you ever going to catch a filly's eye when you eat like a pig?"

Pound chocked a bit, then swallowed.  "Huzzawah?" he asked, displaying the usual eloquence of the adolescent colt.

Pumpkin: Yup, that’ my brother.

Pound: We can’t even normally talk yet!

twow: WHAT THE HELL DOES “CHOCK” MEAN?!

Pumpkin giggled at his unease.  "Well, Mom and Dad were talking about when you'd bring home a fillyfriend for them to meet.  Aren't you looking?  I do want you to be happy, big brother."  She supressed the anticipated jealousy.

Pumpkin: I wouldn’t be jealous. I’d be happy for him!

twow: To be honest, my big sis said that she’d beat the hell out of any girl that was mean to me, so...

  That was just the usual irritation any sister felt about a girl getting close to her brother, just like how Princess Twilight acted when her older brother was getting married.  "So, is there a certain filly you have your eye on, big brother?"

Pound: “You.” (smacked by Pumpkin)

twow: “Could you do me a favor and spread them?” (smacked by Pumpkin)

Pound's wings snapped violently open.

twow: Hit the dirt!

 That was odd.  While it did happen quite often with him, she couldn't figure out what about her question could have triggered it.  The only other time she'd seeen that sort of reaction was when she'd brought honeycakes to his stormball teammates and told them she had made them with her special honey.

All: ...

Pumpkin: Okay, I was ASKING for that.

Pound: Pretty much.

  She could understand why that had made them so happy.  After all, she'd been aging that jar in the back of the pantry until it had reached just the right level of crystallization for three years...not that she told them that.  She didn't want anypony knowing where she kept her special honey.

twow and Pound: IT’s NOT. THAT. DEEP!

Pound looked away.  "No, there's nopony..."

Pumpkin looked at him.  She didn't understand what was wrong with him.  Why wouldn't he tell her what was bothering him?  Was it...her fault?  So she took a risk, trotting on eggshells.

twow: It’s better than dancing on fire.

Her next words wouldn't have made sense to anypony who overheard the conversation, assuming they heard words at all and not complete gibberish.  After all, she was speaking in a private language unique to her and Pound, one that no linguist could ever unravel.  She spoke in Twin.

Cake Twins: What?

twow: Oh mai. New language.

"Big Brother, you can tell me what's bothering you.  You can trust me."  She looked at him, her heart in her eyes.  "Did...did I do something wrong?  Please, tell me how we can go back to what we had."

Pound: “Before the age of pony fell.”

twow: Nice! (hi-fives Pound)

Pound's entire body seemed to shiver.  He snatched up his turnover.  "Welldinnerwasgreatasusualyou'reareallygoodcookPumpkinbutIhadareallylongdaysoI'mgonnahitthehay,goodnight!"  He dashed up the stairs.

Pumpkin: Impressive.

twow: Sonic could take lessons from him.

Pumpkin stared at where he had been.  Tears started to form in her eyes.  She had addressed him in Twin, their private language, practically the symbol of everything they had once meant to each other, the bond they'd shared since birth...and he had responded in Equesh.

twow: He was tired.

She had never felt more rejected - more unloved and unwanted - in her entire life.

Pound: I was fucking TIRED!

twow: I think the author just leaped the shark.

"Is this how Aunt Pinkie feels," Pumpkin sobbed out, "when her mane and tail go straight?  ...no wonder she never wants any pictures of those times..."  She started to tap her magic to clean up, but she stopped.  She could clean up tomorrow, or something.  Slowly, she walked up the stairs.

Pumpkin: I don’t get depressed this fast.

twow: You’re also still a foal, so...

In their room, she saw that Pound was in bed, to all appearances dead to the world.  She crawled into her own bed.  She started to reach for her covers, then left them off.  Burying her face in her pillow, she wept, her voice letting out the chocked sobs of the broken hearted.

Pound: I just wanted to sleep.

Pumpkin: I don’t get this depressed that easily!

twow: What the hell is “chocked?!”

After a time, she heard hoofsteps...and then Pound was there, rubbing his head against her neck, trying to comfort her.  With a sob, she threw her forelegs around his neck, pulling him close, crying into his mane.  His wings snapped open again, and he tried to pull away, but she whispered, "Please, Big Brother...don't reject me again..."

twow: That is the LAST thing he wants to do.

Pound: Don’t remind me.

His entire body shuddered, and he seemed to droop in shame.  Climbing onto the bed with her, he lay down against her.  She smiled, feeling more content now, but she noticed how stiff his wings were.  Thinking she could help make him more comfortable, she began to rub the flight muscles of his back, between his wings, trying to ease the tension.

Pumpkin: Wouldn’t that create MORE tension?

twow: In the body, no. In his mind, oh GOD YES.

Pound let out a hissing intake of breath.  "Pumpkin, wait..."

"What's wrong, Big Brother?" she asked, confused.  "I just want to help you relax.  Am I...doing it wrong?"  She continued to rub his muscles, more gently this time, adding her magic to it ever so slightly to caress the musculature of his back and wings gently from within.  "Does it...hurt?

Pound: The story says that she doesn’t know, but it’s trying too hard.

Pumpkin: It’s like I know. Really.

He let out a gasp.  "No, Pumpkin.  It's not that, it's-"  He let out another gasp, followed by a moan.

twow: Ohhhhkay then.

Cake Twins: O_O

She smiled.  "It feels good?"  When he nodded silently, she giggled happily.  "I'm glad.  I've never done anything like this before.  I was worried I'd got it wrong."  Feeling with her magic, she sensed each tight knot of muscle in his back and wings, pressing on them with her hoof as her magic unwound the knots, rubbing as she found and released each point of tension in his body.

twow: ♫Re-♫

Cake Twins: NO!

Pound let out a sudden gasp, louder than before.  "Oh gods!" he gasped out, before his breath caught.  His entire body went tense before then going slack.  His eyes then went wide as though from shock.  He started to scramble out of the bed.

Pound: Am I about to hit the dirt?

twow: For one reason or another.

"Big Brother, wait!" Pumpkin called out.  Her hoof touched a warm, wet spot on her sheets.  "Big Brother, did...did you wet the bed?"  She couldn't help but giggle.

All: ...

twow: He just came...

Pumpkin: ...from me rubbing his back.

Pound: ....

twow: Well, that’s enough life for me for one day.

Pound went pale, then leapt for the window, pulling it open, spreading his wings.  He leaped.

"Big Brother, wait!"  Pumpkin's magic seized his body, pulling him back in, leaving him suspended upside down in the air.  "I'm sorry I laughed.  I'd never judge you for wetting the bed.  I won't tell Mom and Dad, I'll just change the sheets.  Just please, tell me what's wrong!"

Pound: “I want your body!”

twow: Well, you’re not wrong there.

Pumpkin: This story would be over SO much faster.

  She was crying now, but she couldn't stop.  He wouldn't face her.  "Please!  You've been drifting away, we've been growing apart...and I can't bear it!  We...we haven't even held hooves like we used to since we got our Cutie Marks!  That was more than three years ago!"

twow: Three years?

Pound: At this rate, I’m surprised I didn’t ravage her body  in the night.

  He turned to face her, a look of compounded shock, shame, and fear on his face.  "Please, tell me what I'm doing wrong, how I can fix this...Pound!"

The language known collectively as Twin is far more complex than any untwinned being could ever hope to comprehend.

twow: Do tell. This could make for interesting experiments.

 As the roots of each Twin language set is based in the time whilst the twins are still enwombed, the language develops tenses, inflections, and intonations with meanings that language as most beings know it could never fully interpret it.

Pumpkin: It’s like an emotional bond.

  A good metaphor would be that, while a picture may be worth a thousand words in Equesh, one word of Twin is worth a thousand pictures...especially when that word is a name.

In Twin, to speak a being's name is not just simply a designation.

Pound: It’s more?

twow: Shh...

  It is a reflection of the speaker's heart, everything they think and feel and believe about the named being, what they mean to them and what they think of them, and nothing can be hidden.

twow: I think I understand.

Pumpkin: Explain?

twow: Hold up, the story might do it for me.

  When Pumpkin called her brother's name in Twin, it was more than just a word.  It bespoke of how much she loved him, how much their bond meant to her, the years of obscure pain she'd been through ever since he began to put up the wall between them...and the agony of rejection she felt earlier when he would not speak to her in Twin, and the fear that she would lose him.

twow: I was right! It’s like speaking a person’s true name in Eragon.

Pound: It’s like baring your soul for that pony.

Pound looked up at her, tears flowing freely from his eyes as realization struck him like a stampede.  His eyes locked on hers, and he spoke but a single word.

twow: “Rosebud.”

"Pumpkin..."

Pumpkin gasped, her magic releasing Pound to let him fall to the floor.  Turning, she did the only thing she could do.  She ran.

Pumpkin: Finally! Something rational!

In that single word, she had felt everything she was to her brother.  She felt the pain he experienced with realizing how much he'd hurt her, the knowledge that distance between them was the last thing he wanted, how much he loved her, how much he wanted to keep their bond strong, and the fear that he would hurt her beyond redemption.

Pound: That might have just happened.

Pumpkin: Never in real life bro.

All this she could handle.  But there was one more emotional impression in his call of her name in Twin.  An emotion she herself had never experienced, had no true familiarity with.  It had almost felt like the estrus cycle she had gone through for the first time just two months ago

Atlas:(from distance)ESTRUS?!

twow: We better move on now.

, but that only came every half-year.  It was this emotion from her brother she did not know how to handle, and could only try to escape.

She fled from his lust.

Pound: It was that profound, huh?

Pumpkin: The story only laid it on thicker than peanut butter.

twow: Come on you two. Let’s get out of here.

twow: That was a trial.

Pumpkin: And there’s MORE to this?!

twow: Yeah, that was only the first two chapters.

Pound: Ugh.

Pinkie: Don’t worry! I think the next two chapters don’t have clop!

twow: You THINK.

Pumpkin: Well, we can’t leave anyway.

Pound: At least, not like this.

twow: Yeah. Your mom might kill me. Hell, Derpy STILL doesn’t know that Dinky’s DNA is messed up.

Pumpkin: Messed up? How?

twow: Whenever I snap my fingers, she turns into a teenager. I need to fix that.

Pound: Yikes.

Pinkie: Go on and rest you guys. I’ll send you the next two chapter soon!

twow: Wonderful.

Pound: Well, at least we’re together Pumpkin.

Pumpkin: Yeah. We’ll get though this eventually.

twow: No doubt.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got break sign!

A special thanks to Draklox for sitting in with me during this. You rock, man.

The Adventures of RedJoy

Alright then, let’s get started.

Yup, it’s twow443 here, about to do his first “solo” riff. It’s not fully solo, as I’ll have a special guest, but it’s my first riff without Fallen Prime helping me. I asked him if he could set me up with three Google Docs, so expect two more riffs from me before I move. The condition was that he could choose the first two stories, and he sure did.This is the first fan-fic that the author wrote, and it’s not good. Alicorn OC. Coming at you from myself and sierra_seven, it’s The Adventures Of RedJoy Episode 1: Daring Doo

twow443: Ugh, why is this so HARD?Derpy: (walking into lab) What’s wrong, twow?twow: Just working on a new story idea. It’s about Fluttershy turning into an alicorn and saving Equestria from Diamond Dogs.Derpy: That sounds, interesting.twow: Do you mean that, or are you just trying to keep my hopes up?Pinkie: (from TV) Yup! Hi guys!twow: Hey there Pinkie. What’s up? And, wait. Why are you on my TV?Pinkie: I just wanted to tell you that you have company coming!Derpy: Wait, what?(The side door opens to reveal sierra_seven and Nurse Redheart)Sierra: Well, I have a six-pack of brain bleach and a medical professional to administer it. Let’s riff this shit.twow: Um, Pinkie? Why?Pinkie: (giggles) It’ll be fun!(The lab doors slam shut and lock)Derpy: Quick question, who is this?Sierra: I am everything you ever feared, Derpy. Nurse Redheart is here to.... well... make sure I don’t get too psychotic. It happens.Redheart: (checks medical equipment) Yup, we have brain bleach, antidepressants, defibrillators, vodka, a furry anorak and champagne for when this is over.twow: Somehow I don’t know if that’ll be enough.Redheart: You’ve obviously never seen Sierra in a furry anorak.twow: Don’t wanna.*BUZZ*All: We’ve got story sign!

RedJoy just turned ten when something she never would have expected happened. She met Daring DooSierra: The End. Well, that’d probably work better than the rest of this story.twow: Can we go home now?RedJoy was sitting on a cloud on the outskirts of her home town Hoofsdale.Derpy: I believe that he means Cloudsdale. That is where I sometimes visit. And my job is there.twow: Yeah, or I’d be falling through the clouds everytime I came here.Sierra: It’s like Cloudsdale, but with hooves. twow: I don’t even..WHAT?She looked down at the book she was reading.twow: “I’ve read better things using the Internet.”The book was called “Daring Doo and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone”.Redheart: Can we read this instead?Derpy: Not if Pinkie has anything to do with us getting out of here.

Sierra: I have heard of the one you call Pinkie. Some say it's impossible for her to wear socks, and she can open a beer bottle with her testes! All we know is, she's called Pinkie Pie.

twow: Sierra. What the FUCK.

Sierra:

The first in the Daring Doo series.twow: I might be wrong, but is that the first one?Redheart: As a quick observation, the name is spelt wrong. USE THE WIKI, JACKASS.Derpy: So according to this...Daring and I are related.twow: How?Derpy: My other name. Ditzy Doo.Sierra: Surprise! *triggers a party popper*She had got the book a few days ago for her tenth birthday.twow: As opposed to her ninth birthday.Sierra: Come on, she’s an alicorn that is ten years old. I mean, it’s not like every other alicorn in existenceis older than 500.twow: Who the hell are her parents?!Redheart: They don’t call Cadance the Princess of Love for nothing! *winks*twow: I instantly regret asking that.Sierra: I also believe this shows that Rainbow Dash has the reading age of a ten year-old, or this alicorn is approaching super-Sue.She had been reading the book nonstop and was almost finished.twow: Please. I would have finished that the day I got it.Derpy: Really?twow: Taught myself how to read when I was three. Fast reader ever since. She looked down at the jungle.twow: Derpy, last I checked Cloudsdale wasn’t over a jungle, correct?Derpy: This is HOOFSDALE. It could be anywhere for all I know.Sierra: Actually, I believe Cloudsdale is over a forest. THE MORE YOU KNOW.twow: Still isn’t OVER A JUNGLE.Redheart: No, it’s over the Plot-Device Rainforest. Duh.She imagined what it would be like exploring ancient temples and ruins and finding long lost treasures.Derpy: Probably rather fun!Redheart: If you like being turned into swiss cheese by arrows, knives, spears...Derpy: I collapsed Town Hall on my head. I’d be fine.She noticed a group of pegasi flying close to the tree tops. It almost seemed like they were chasing the one in front. Then suddenly she realised they were the tibesponiesSierra: >Tibesponiestwow: I didn’t want to have my even anyway.from one of the tribes that live in the jungle.But the one up the front looked different. She was in one of those outfits Daring Doo is always wearing.twow: I wonder who it could be!Redheart: Well, if it looks like Daring, it smells like Daring and it tastes like Daring, it must be a cupcake!Sierra: Redheart, what did I tell you about reading fanfiction! Bad pony!Pinkie: (from TV) That sounds like a great cupcake idea!twow: Uhhh...MOVING ON.Then she realised that this Pegasus was getting chased by the tribesponies!Sierra: *dramatic voice* Oh no! Wait, I have just the link! Oh nooooo!RedJoy leaped up and sped off to help the Pegasus.By what RedJoy could see, this Pegasus was an adventurer like Daring.All but Sierra: WE KNOW IT’S DARING!Sierra: GIVE THAT A GODDAMN SPOILER ALERT.twow: Please. You’d have to be bloody retarded to NOT know at this point.Sierra: She guessed the pony had stolen something from one of the many ancient temples that are scattered around the jungle.Redheart: *grabs funnel and bleach for Sierra* Sierra: Wai... I just... ARGH. This is premonition purely as a plot device! *Notices the bleach and funnel* Well, there’s only one thing to do!twow: How many damn temples are in that ONE jungle?! One of the pursuers came up next to the adventurer and tried to ram into her.Sierra: Oh nooooo!Derpy: Are you going to keep doing that?Sierra: Oh yes!The adventurer dodged the tribespony and made it collide with another also trying to ram into her.Redheart: I’m no expert on pegasus flight maneuvers, but BULLSHIT.Derpy: Yeah, I’m going to say NO on that one.They tumbled down towards the trees.RedJoy came up behind one of the tribesponies and rammed it into three others.Redheart: BULLSHITSierra: Redheart! You should not be using such colourful language!twow: She has a valid point. That is complete bullshit.Sierra: Mmm...There were now only three tribesponies left. Suddenly all three attacked the adventurer and sent her falling towards the trees below. They then turned their attention towards RedJoy.twow: She SHOULD have stayed on her little cloud.Sierra: But yeah, alicorn filly is stronger and more cunning than Daring. twow: NO.They charged at her all at once. She managed to avoid the first two but flew head first into the third.Both RedJoy and the tribespony began to fall towards the trees below.She managed to regain control just in time. She swooped up.The other two tibesponiesSierra: >Tibesponiestwow: Why...that were following them down weren’t as lucky.Sierra: Well, they’re not stupid alicorn OCs, so they’re still luckier than her.Derpy: Why are alicorn OC’s so bad?Redheart: Overuse, Derpy. Overuse...Derpy: I’m sure there can be good ones though!Sierra: Aye, like Lacunae!twow: ...What?Sierra: *winks*RedJoy sped past them. They were too shocked by how fast she had recovered that they paid no attention to how low they were getting.twow: I’m shocked at how fast she’s going also.Sierra: She’s not going nearly as fast as the plot, though. They crashed face first into the ground at full speed.After making sure they weren’t going to follow her, she flew off in search for the pony they were chasing.After a few minutes she found her unconscious with her face up against a tree.Sierra: “Tree: Why hello.”twow: “You have some very nice bark.”RedJoy noticed a bag lying on the ground near the Pegasus. She walked over to it and looked inside.Redheart: Only to find she wasn’t Daring Do, but a Columbian drug mule!Sierra: Wut u did thar, I sees it.She couldn’t believe her eyes. It was the Ruby Dragon!twow: Da hell IS that?!Sierra: It’s a long lost plot device!Derpy: I’m wishing that she didn’t find it. No pony has seen it for at least three thousand years! Whoever this Pegasus was she was really good. “And what do you think you’re doing looking through my stuff?” she heard come from behind her. She quickly closed the bag and turned around.Derpy: “I didn’t take anything! I swear!”Sierra: “Stop right there, criminal scum!”twow: “I’m an alicorn! That makes me immune!”Sierra: “Hmm, must’ve been a skeever.”Once again she couldn’t believe her eyes. Standing right in front of her was Daring Doo!Redheart: No shit, Fetlock.twow: I think it’s time we took a little break.

Sierra: *Hands out half-time orange slices*twow: So, how’s everyone liking the story?Derpy: I don’t like it. At all.Sierra: It sucks harder than a Brazilian prostitute.Redheart: Time for your bleach, Sierra. *inserts bleach drip into Sierra’s arm*twow: Hey! He doesn’t get that until we’re done!Redheart: Well, I’m the medical professional here... but ok. No bleach for you, Sierra.Sierra: All shitfic and no bleach make Sierra a ragey pony.twow: That’s good. You can use it for riffing this. *sees Sierra throw Derpy through the basement window*twow: Sierra?! What the hell?!(Derpy flies back inside and the windows shut and lock.)Pinkie: (from TV) Sorry! Forgot to lock those!Sierra: I don’t see why none of you have done this before. *unplugs TV*(Pinkie is still on the TV.)twow: WHAT.Derpy: Um. I don’t think that TV should still be on.twow: Redheart, just give him the bleach.Sierra: NO, I MUST RIFF!Pinkie: (from TV) Your wish is my command!twow: *turns into a dildo*Sierra: See that coming, I did not.Pinkie: (from TV) Oops, wrong button!Redheart: *claps sarcastically*Pinkie: (from TV) Hey, you try manipulating the multiverse!dildwow: *vibrates*Derpy: Eugh! Turn it off! It’s... lubricating all over me!Pinkie: (from TV) How about this button?dildwow: *turns back into twow*twow: Well, that was... PINKIE!Pinkie: (from TV) About that... anyway, onto the story!twow: The FUCK just happened?!Sierra: Pinkie manipulating the laws of matter. Y’know, the usual. *looks at twow’s shaking body*Redheart: Hmm, either he’s suffering from massive shock or Pinkie left the vibrate setting on...Sierra: ANYWAY...*BUZZ*All: We’ve got story sign!

“Well? Ya going to answer or are just going to stand there?” She demanded.Sierra: Just had your bags looted by an alicorn filly? Kill it first, ask questions later.Redheart: Yeah, that’s the same policy we follow at the hospital!twow: Remind me to never get injured as long as I live in Equestria.RedJoy was frozen with amazement.Redheart: That, and lockjaw from the rusty, smelly tribal ponies...Derpy: What are you implying?Redheart: Implications. SO MANY IMPLICATIONS.Sierra: IMPLICATIONSSSSSS!It was THE Daring Doo, and she was talking to her! “I...I...I...um.” she stuttered. Daring suddenly burst into laughter. “It’s alright. Where did you come from anyway?” Daring asked.twow: Just gonna ignore the fact you almost died? Okay.Sierra: C’mon, it’s Daring. She was never in danger! Aside from all the times she was... twow: I was talking about Redjoy.Sierra: Oh, I got the implication (:D) that she wasn’t in any danger at all. After all, she’s an all-powerful alicorn filly from the Sue tribe.Derpy: I don’t think I should let Dinky meet her.RedJoy finely came out of shock.Sierra: She didn’t just come out of shock. She came out of shock finely.twow: That takes skill.Sierra: Skill and SWAG™Derpy: After what I’ve seen on Earth, swag™is dumb.“You flew past the cloud I was sitting on. I rushed to help but I was too late.” RedJoy replied.Redheart: Wait, the alicorn filly did something wrong? *gasps*twow443: SHE’S. A. FILLY.“That’s very brave. Ha! Reminds me of what I was like as a filly.” Daring said. “I take it you saw what’s in my bag? What with you going through it and all." She continued. “The Ruby Dragon!” RedJoy said excitedly.Sierra: Goddamnit RedJoy, that was a rhetorical question!Derpy: Or was it?Sierra: Derpy, that was also a rhetorical question! twow: Or was it?Sierra: “You know your treasures.” Daring replied. “I need to get the Ruby Dragon to Las Pegasus.” She continued.Redheart: Ugh, the grammar in this is more painful than some of the injuries I see on the ward. Remember that time Rainbow flew into a rock pile? Yeah, multiple fractures. I feel like I have fractures in my eyes. twow: How that FUCK does that work?!“Las Pegasus? Hmm Oh! I know how you can get there! You can leave from Hoofsdale by train.Sierra: WATWATWATWAT. I thought Hoofsdale was in the sky! twow: IT IS. What, do they have the flying train from “Repairing Harmony?!”Derpy: Didn’t that blow up?twow: YES.Sierra: Mmm, fiery. Also Derpy, I do believe you got whiplash from that. Ass whiplash.There should be one leaving tomorrow. You can stay in Hoofsdale for the night.” RedJoy explained.Sierra: “Can we keep her as a pet? Pleeeease? I’ll feed her and let her adventure once a week, and I’ll clean her litter tray!”Derpy: “And when she comes back with cuts and bruises, I’ll take care of her!”Redheart: I will, more like...“Hoofsdale? That doesn’t seem to ring a bell.” Daring replied.Redheart: But it’s the finest cloud/land village/town/city in Equestria!twow: You have a point Redheart. What the fuck IS Hoofsdale?!Redheart: The scumhole of the universe. Just like Teddybear Junction. *shudders*Derpy: I had to deliver a package there once...“It’s only a small town but most of the ponies there are very friendly.” RedJoy replied.twow: “A lot of them will even let you spend the night there!” Sierra: In return for cheap, sleazy horse se-Redheart: SIERRA!“Alright then, lead the way.” Daring replied. RedJoy led Daring back to Hoofsdale.Sierra: People don’t realise the importance of a journey. [profound] What is the journey, and what is the destination? Can you have one without the other? Is the journey really more important than the destination? [/profound] Example:“We must take the ring to Mordor!”The Fellowship then travelled to Mordor.“Frooodddddooooooo!”“Saaaaaammmmmm!”twow: Sierra! Shut the hell up!Sierra: But... but...twow: STORY. RIFF IT.After showing Daring around town show realised there weren’t any hotels of inns in the town.Sierra: YOU PLAGIARIZED THE NATIVITY!twow: Oh, noooo.Derpy: I find it hard to believe that there’s NO hotels! We have hotels in Cloudsdale!“There isn’t anywhere you can stay tonight.” She sighed. “What about your house?” Daring asked.Derpy: Um, that seems kinda...weird.Redheart: Next time I meet an adventurer, I’m going to invite him to my house! Totally non-sexual!“You want to stay at my house!?” RedJoy exclaimed.twow: Yeah. And while she’s at it, she’s also going to sleep in your bed. With you in it. (slapped by Derpy)Sierra: And then she’s going to clop furiousl- (slapped by Redheart)“Well you are you only pony I know in town, and there isn’t really anywhere else for me to stay. “ Daring replied.twow: According to this, the city is over a jungle with dangerous tribesponies.Derpy: Why don’t the pegasi just move the city?Sierra: Because PLOTREASONS.“Of course! Well that is if it’s ok with my parents.” RedJoy replied.Sierra: >Beats up hordes of tribesponies>Asks parents if friend and celebrity can staySo much sense.On the way to RedJoy’s house Daring noticed RedJoy’s horn. “Well that’s new.” She said. “What is?” RedJoy asked looking around for what she could be talking about. “Your horn.” Daring replied. Pointing to RedJoy’s horn.twow: How has she not fucking noticed that?!“Oh yes. I’m an alicorn. That’s why I have both a horn and wings.” RedJoy explained.Sierra: I guess you could say...*puts on shades*She’s a horny pegasus.twow: I have trained you well. (slapped by both mares)“An alicorn? Wait like the Royal family!?” Daring exclaimed. “Yep. I’m one of the only four alicorns not to be born in the royal family.twow: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!Derpy: Four?! Who are the other three?!Sierra: Blackwing Shadowblade the Fourth, Nightraven the Bloody, Soulreaper Muffincube...twow: I don’t EVEN...” RedJoy explained. “Well ain’t that something!” Daring replied.twow: Yeah. Even though it’s sort of a BIG deal!Derpy: Just a little bit.They arrived at RedJoy’s house and they went inside. “Mum, I’m home!” RedJoy yelled out.Derpy: “I brought someone home that I don’t know at all!”“Oh your home early dear.” Her mum called back from the next room. “We have a guest mum.” RedJoy called.Redheart: Commas. The difference between having a guest parent and introducing a guest to your parent.twow: (laughing) A guest parent!“Oh ok, one sec and I’ll be there.” She replied. RedJoy’s mum appeared from around the corner.Sierra: Suddenly, parent.Derpy: Hai mom!She froze dead when she saw Daring. “Good day ma’am.” Daring said to her.“My names Daring Doo. Teacher, archaeologist, explorer and not a very big fan of cats.” She continued.twow: I don’t think the cats comment was needed. They don’t have a cat.Redheart: Hey, if Daring collapsed and they took her to the hospital, I might not know that I can’t put her in the cat ward.Derpy: Why would you ever DO that?!Redheart: Spending cutbacks. twow: Good thing I have contact with the princesses. I’ll let them know you need money.Sierra: Why not NHS? That’s what we have in Britain “Daring needs somewhere to stay until the train tomorrow. Is it ok if she stays here the night?” RedJoy asked.twow: “And in my room?”Sierra: “And in my bed?”Derpy and Redheart: (slaps both humans)Sierra: Harder! The pain, it arouses me! twow: Gah! Sierra, what the hell?!Derpy: I DON’T LIKE HIM.Sierra: Of course you do! I’m the lovable oaf!Derpy: (pulls out laser gun)twow: Derpy! PUT THAT BACK!“Of course she can.” Her mum replied after snapping out of surprise.Derpy: She knows nothing about her!Sierra: But she’s a 2-D character! Any other response would give her a semblance of a personality...That night Daring told RedJoy about all of her adventures.Sierra: And then they had hard, furious se-Redheart: SIERRA!Sierra: I was going to say friendship! Hard, furious friendship!twow: Sure. Because “friendship” starts with S.The next day they went to the train station.“Seya around kid.” Daring said to RedJoy. She scratched RedJoy on the head.“I know who to come to if I ever need a partner.” twow”: A ten year old alicorn. Okay.Sierra: Huehuehue.She continued. “Really!?” RedJoy replied.“Seya.” Daring called out as she boarded the train.Later that day RedJoy was sitting on her cloud, imagining what it would be like having an adventure with Daring Doo. She was there all day and she fell asleep on the cloud as the sun was setting.Sierra: And then she was eaten by tribesponies. THE END.Derpy: I believe you mean “tibesponies.”twow: Who cares?! Let’s get the hell out of here!

twow: So? What was everyone’s thoughts on that?

Redheart: It makes me want to admit myself to the psyche ward.

Sierra: BLEACH. NOW.

Derpy: Uhh. Not as bad as what we riffed with Fallen, but that HURT.

twow: He shouldn’t have made Redjoy an alicorn. That is VERY hard to do well.

Redheart: No shit...

Sierra: Sherlock!

*Sierra and Redheart high-hooffive*

twow: Fuck you both...

Derpy: If her character had been expanded on more, it would have been better! Also, he had so many plot holes!

Sierra: Unfortunately, none of Daring’s plot hole. HUEHUEHU-

All but Sierra: *slaps Sierra*

twow: Thank Luna this wasn’t a clopfic.

Sierra: Luna can’t save you now...

twow: Sure she can...

Derpy: Pinkie! Let us out before twow kills somebody!

Pinkie: (from TV) Sure! I hope you all had fun!

(The lab doors unlock and open)

twow: Alright you two. Out.

Sierra: Well, time to head off and write, lurk and pester twow for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours... *booted out of the lab by Derpy*

twow: You too Redheart. I’m sure you have things to do at the hospital.

Redheart: Repairing Sierra’s brain, for one. I think he’s stuck in a permanent loop...

twow: I wish you luck.

Redheart: *booted out of the lab by Derpy*

Derpy: Phew. I need to go make dinner for Dinky. Have fun working on your, uh, invention.

Pinkie: (from TV) Wasn’t that fun, twow?! I hope you’re ready for another prank soon!

twow: On the edge of my seat.

(Pinkie pushes the button and twow turns back into a dildo.)

Derpy: PINKIE!

Pinkie: (from TV) Sorry!

(Pinkie pushes another button and the TV turns off with a blip.)

Doctor/Professor Whooves VS Nightmare Moon

Alright, round 3. Let’s keep this ball rolling.

As you well know, the Doctor(or Time Turner) is a staple in writing fanfics. Usually he’ll be traveling with Derpy Hooves in his TARDIS and having a lot of wacky adventures. I’ve read a few of them and for the most part, they were quite good.But what if it’s the Doctor against something that already happened...AND DONE SO WRONG?I present to you today Doctor/Professor Whooves vs Nightmare Moon. And if that title didn’t scare you off already, well you might just need some professional help. This coming from the guy that continues to make bets with a sadistic son of a bitch.Everyone, here’s Doctor/Professor Whooves vs Nightmare Moon.God, I hate typing that.

twow: Just think of all of the possibilities Doctor!Doctor: I’m not going to dismantle my sonic screwdriver. twow: Well, we could possibly get it to the point where it works on wood. I swear, that’s like your own kryptonite.Doctor: Not always!twow: I told you before, if you just would carry my portable flamethrower with you...Doctor: I don’t know if that would be a good idea.twow: (sighing) Sometimes I swear...Where’s my night gun?Doctor: What?twow: The gun that creates night. I wanted to tweak something on it.Doctor: (rummaging through stuff) That’s...somewhere over here...Ah! Here it is!twow: Doctor! Don’t squeeze it!(A dark cloud is shot from the gun and floats in the middle of the room, consolidating into a black and dark blue alicorn.)Doctor: Oops.twow: You have GOT to be shitting me.(The lab doors shut and lock)twow: Oh COME ON!Pinkie: (from TV) Hi T! Hi Doctor! Hi....oh. Wait, what?!Fallen Prime: (from TV) twow... WHAT THE EVERLOVING CHRISTFUCK DID YOU DO.twow: This universe fucking hates me.Nightmare Moon: What....What is this place that I am now standing in? And who might you two be?twow: Everything at once I swear...Doctor: *ahem* Hello there. I’m the Doctor and this is my human friend twow. I’m sure you remember Pinkie Pie, and her friend is Fallen Prime.Pinkie: T! How did Nightmare Moon come back?!twow: I DON’T KNOW.Nightmare: Well, what am I doing in this place?twow: Pinkie....Pinkie: Well, Primey came over and wanted to give you another story!Doctor: So Fallen has been trapping you in here?twow: He’s an asshole like that. What is it now Fallen?Fallen: Um... well, first off, this is way too convenient, because the story stars both of you. Some little number called “Doctor/Professor Whooves VS Nightmare Moon.”Nightmare: There have been stories written about me?twow: Yes. Doctor: What does this story entail Fallen?Fallen: Among other things... I hope you’re not gonna miss that penis of yours.twow and the Doctor: WHAT.Fallen: Thought so. Start it up, Pinkie!twow: Hold up a second. We re-created Nightmare Moon, got trapped in my lab with said alicorn, and you made a reference to us not having our penises.Doctor: That frightens me.Nightmare: Hmph. Let us partake of this story.twow: You’re gonna regret that statement.*BUZZ*All: We’ve got story sign!

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Spike, and I were helping my friend the Doctor fix his time machine, the T.A.R.D.I.S...Doctor: I don’t put dots in between the letters.*Flashback Music*Nightmare: *Irritated sigh*"Twilight, can you levitate me a screwdriver?" I asked."Sure." she responded "Regular or Sonic?"Doctor: Sonic."Regular." "Okay." Twilight concentrated on the levitation spell, her horn pointedat the screwdriver.Doctor: Why would I ever need a regular one?!Nightmare: I guess that sonic can’t solve everything.Doctor: Hey! Don’t diss the sonic!twow: We just gonna ignore the two speakers in paragraph? Okay... The screwdriver floated out of the toolbox, and few into my open hoof. "Thanks." I said screwing a screwinto the underside of the TARDIS's console.twow: Hit that Enter button a little bit early, hmm? "There. Finished." I walked up the stairs and found my Sonic Screwdriver, whichI had (foolishly) put in the toolbox. I popped the top off and pressed the button on the Sonic, causing a*EEEEEEEEEEEE*-type sound to issue from it.Doctor: My screwdriver has never done that.Nightmare: Ugh! That sound would make me murder a lot of things. After the console scanned my Sonic Screwdriver, I was off and pushing buttons, and pulling levers, humming to myself. What I didn't know was that Doctor was still working,twow: Wait, the Doctor was still working?! But it said my screwdriver! Whose point of view is this?!Nightmare: Somepony that was not introduced.twow: Either that, or the author didn’t introduce him well...oh. Is this his OC? and suddenly, *Bizzz-ZAP!* I realized three things: I had pulled the start lever, the TARDIS was malfunctioning, and it had thrown itself intoa random timestream, one that was not familiar to any of us, not even the Doctor.Doctor: Because it’s just THAT easy.Suddenly,  *BOOM!* we collided with something outside so hard, everypony was knocked out. I was the first to wake up and when I did, I saw a group of ponies, none of whom were reconizable to me, except a brown, female pony who, like me, was the only one up.Nightmare: Why were you the first to recover?twow: Shhh, Nightmare. We call it...”the reason.”Nightmare: (shudders) We took a good look at each other, and screamed, causing everypony else to wake up to.Doctor: What did they wake up to?twow: Them screaming of course.When Doctor, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Spike saw the group, they screamed to.twow: Screaming to the heavens. "Who are you?" I asked stepping towards another brown, female pony. "I'm the Professor." she said. "Professor wh...?" I started to ask. Then, realizing what I was asking, I slapped a hoof to my forehead.Doctor: Oh, I see what they did there. I don’t like it.Nightmare: I really wish to know who is telling us this story.twow: There are some who call him...Tim."Of course!" I exclaimed. "Why wasn't it clear before!?" "What?" Doctor asked. "This group of ponies is really us as the opposite gender!" "WHAT!?" everypony screamed in unison.All: (Facepalm/hoof 3x combo)Continued in Chapter Twotwow: That was the CHAPTER?!Doctor: I believe it was.twow: What?!Nightmare: If that is the case, let us step away from this for a bit.

Fallen: (from TV) Well. You look pretty enthusiastic about life in general. Story’s treating you that well?

twow: UGH.

Doctor: I would like to know who this character is. Not only does he apparently have a sonic screwdriver, he caused this whole incident!

Nightmare: You actually understood what was going on?

Doctor: Not without effort.

Fallen: Well, for the longest time, I didn’t get it either. I looked it over while you guys were going at it, though, and I can say with some level of certainty that this is the author’s OC. And you will NOT believe what his name is.

Nightmare: Part of me wants to know, and the other part of me wants to not know.

twow: Is it important to the story?

Fallen: Pfft. No. If it were, don’t you think they’d have mentioned it by now?

Doctor: Well that’s just bad storytelling then.

twow: Fine. Let’s make up a name for him until the story remembers that names are good.

Doctor: Hmm. How about...

Fallen: Or, alternately, I can just tell you what it is. They’re about to give his mare counterpart’s name away right as the next chapter starts.

Nightmare: Enough of these games. Tell us the name.

Fallen: Alright. But you can’t be mad at me.

twow: What IS it?

Fallen: This OC’s name, I shit you not... is Rock Hard.

All: ...

twow: And on that note, let’s keep going!

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

Once we got over the shock of meeting ourselves from another universe, we got along just fine.twow: “Hey there exact version of me but my counterpart!”Doctor: “How’s the weather?”Nightmare: “We should go for a glass of tea later.”Our other selves (except the Professor (Duh)) gave their names: Rocky, Dusk Shine, Purple Cake, Applebuck, Dashing, Color Blast, and Pin, (I know what your thinking: Pin? What kind of name is that!?twow: Yeah! What the fuck kind of name IS that?Fallen: (from TV) EXACTLY! “Dusk Shine” is the only genderbent name the story got right!Nightmare: Wait a moment Fallen. There are names for all these characters for their opposite sex?Fallen: For the mane six, yes, and literally only ONE was correct. I don’t remember the name of YOUR spear counterpart, though...Nightmare: I don’t think I want to know. Well I wanted names that reflected the original ones, and Pin was the only one I could find suitable for Spike (I'll take suggestions for names though))Doctor: Why didn’t you choose “Nail?”Nightmare: Or “Sharp Object?”Fallen: THE REAL ONE’S EITHER SPINES OR BARB. NOT THAT HARD.twow: Hell, I was gonna go with “Ouch”.and we acted like old friends....Or did we?Nightmare: You better not have."Professor?" "Can I talk to you....um...in private?"It was a week after the accident between the two T.A.R.D.I.S.s, a setting on the console keeping a paradox from occurring.Doctor: That would have been useful in that incident with Rose..."Sure." she responded. We walked out of console room and into the corridor, stopping a few feet from the entrance."Um, it's kinda hard to say, so I'll show you." I said, blushing slightly."Wha...MFF!" the Professor screamed a muffled scream as I kissed her full on the lips.twow: “Oh, it’s so hot in here!”Nightmare: The pacing has been tripled."I love you, and I'm sure that Rocky feels the same way about the Doctor." I whispered when I pulled my lips off theProfessor's."I...I...I.." the Professor stuttered.twow: I assumed that Rock would have fell in love with his counterpart, not the Doctor’s.Doctor: I don’t mind. I’m already taken."I what?" I asked."I'm from a alternate universe, our love can never be so!"Wait." I said. "Does that mean-?"Nightmare: “You really hate me?”"Yes." "I love you too." the Professor planted her lips on mine, and we engaged in what felt like the best kiss in my entire life."Excuse me."twow: There will be no lovemaking on this TARDIS!Nightmare: PDA is reserved for nighttime.The Professor and I looked up and saw the Doctor in the doorway and, both of us blushing, we let go of each other.twow: “Abandon mouth!”"What's up Doctor?" I asked, trying to deflect questions from the Doctor about what we were doing."Nothing, just wondered where you got to." Doctor said.Doctor: I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have interrupted their moment to only see where they went.twow: They should have hidden in wood.Meanwhile in Equestria:Princess Celestia walked to her window, it was 10:00 at night, but she couldn't dwell from her duties as Co-Princess ofEquestria.Nightmare: That sentence  looks like an upside down staircase.twow: Geez. He must have a sexual attraction to the Enter key. As she looked out at the moon that she was soon due to lower, she noticed three stars sliding closer to the moon at a fast, but steady pace. Celestia was nervous. Ever since her sister's anger (AKA Night Mare Moon) had gottenNightmare: Why are you all so determined to spell my name like that?! THAT’S NOT HOW YOU SPELL IT.twow: Of course I have to sit next to the insane alicorn. Thanks for that.it's own body, its been living in the moon for decades. But now, it was ready to cause mayhem and put many ponies indanger.twow: Hold up. I’m sorry Nightmare, but I remember you turning back into Luna. NOT having your own body.Nightmare: How am I here again?twow: Concentrated magic gone wrong. "I must get a message to Twilight and her friends about this." she knew the only way to defeat Night Mare Moon was to summon the Elements of Harmony.Doctor: Or...keep her on the moon?twow: Good point. Why can’t she just send her back? The only problem was, how was she going to get the message to them if theywere in the T.A.R.D.I.S, a ride so smooth, Spike could fall asleep, and disrupting sleep was not polite?Nightmare: If my return was that much of a problem, I’m sure that Celestia would wake him up.twow: Also, it didn’t stop her from sending Spike like thirty scrolls when Discord decided to go nuts.  "I've got it!" Princess Celestia ran to her throne room, wherethe Doctor had left her a device that lets the user contact any inhabitants of the T.A.R.D.I.S. though a system that's simple, yet inconvenet because the beep that signals a transmission to the T.A.R.D.I.S can be very startlingDoctor: That’s also impossible.twow: Please. The TARDIS has been contacted how many times now?Back to the T.A.R.D.I.S*BEEP!* Incoming transmission detected!Doctor, Professor, and I raced into the console room just in time to hear those words.twow: Important words those were.*Bizzzt!* suddenly, Princess Celestia's face appeared on the computer screen. "Doctor, come in Doctor." she said. "I'm here Your Honor." Doctor said, racing to the screen. "Thank goodness." "Listen, Night Mare Moon's returning, and I'm afraid she's grown stronger than the Elements of Harmony!"Nightmare: Kinda wishing I had that ability when Twilight Sparkle and her friends found me..."WHAT!?" Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Dusk Shine, Purple Cake, Applebuck, Dashing, and Color Blast screamed hystericilly.twow: (laughing) That word got FUCKED in translation."It's true." Celestia said. "We're coming Your Honor." Doctor said. "Alons-y!"  he added as he pushed a green button."Equestria, Present day, 2012. Doctor said to the T.A.R.D.I.S, and the adventure really got going.

Doctor: Break time?

Nightmare: Break time.

twow: I don’t know guys. I’m up for a little...

Doctor and Nightmare: BREAK TIME.

Fallen: (from TV) Seriously, guys? You’re only a chapter away from the end, basically.

Nightmare: QUIET. THIS STORY FILLS US WITH ANGER.

twow: Nightmare, relax. Why are you so upset?

Nightmare: This story taunts me. Making it seem like I had more power then I really did.

Doctor: Isn’t that a good thing?

Nightmare: No. And would you like to know why?

twow: Enlighten us.

Nightmare: The way this story is going, I will be defeated in some stupid way.

twow: But you were defeated before.

Nightmare: That isn’t the point, human. Twilight Sparkle was a worthy opponent and I am proud to claim that I fought her. But this pony, I don’t really know what it is.

Doctor: I understand. The pacing is horrible, the story makes no sense...

twow: And to HELL with actual character development. We don’t need that shit.

Fallen: Hm. Nightmare Moon with a sense of honor. Not too surprising, but I think that might be a new one.

Nightmare: Of course. I am more than just a brutal killer Fallen Prime.

twow: Not asking how you knew his name.

Fallen: I stopped questioning it twenty ponies ago.

twow: The answer was Pinkie Pie.

Doctor: Prime, are we almost finished with this story?

Fallen: Getting there. This is the home stretch.

twow: Alright. I might be trapped in here with a time-traveling alien and the demonic side of Princess Luna, but we got this. Ready guys?

Doctor: Of course. Allons-y!

Nightmare: I do not have a choice. Let us continue.

*BUZZ*

All: We’ve got story sign!

"We arrived in Equestria and left the T.A.R.D.I.S (not before locking it of course) in Everfree Forest.twow: Why didn’t it land in Ponyville? Isn’t that where the action is?When we got to Ponyvile, chaos was ahoof. Night Mare Moon had indeed returned, and was causing trouble, descructionand panic.Nightmare: I wasn’t going to do all that. I was just gonna have eternal night.twow: I still see where the panic would come from."Doctor, Professor what are going to do?" Twilight asked in a hysterical voice."What I always do." Doctor said. "SAVE THE UNIVERSE!""How?" Dusk asked.Doctor: “With the power of logic!”"With your version of the Elements of Harmony combined with ours, and a super charge.""Do I want to know what the charge's energy source is Doctor?" I asked."Our regeneration energy!" Doctor said.twow: I thought that only happened when you were about to die.Doctor: It does..."No... I whispered, tears flowing from my eyes. I confessed my love, and now it's all gone. "NO!" I screamed."Doctor, there HAS to be another way!""I'm sorry, but there isn't."I was so heartbroken, I ran away.Nightmare: He confessed his love for the Professor, right? Are they BOTH supposed to die?twow: I guess? This story and details need to get together for a date."Rock Hard wait!" Doctor yelled.Doctor: ...twow: (laughing) Oh man that’s fucking hilarious!Nightmare: This is also the first time that the name of the narrator has been spoken."I'll go and comfort him." the Professor said, and she ran after me.When she found me, I was sitting under a tree, crying."It's not fair!" I screamed when I saw her. "I confessed my love for you, and all I get in return is regeneration!"twow: To be honest, Rose still loved the Doctor after he regen’d."I know." Professor said."NO YOU DON'T!" I screeched.Doctor: Actually, I kinda do."It's the only way." Professor reasoned"What about energy from the T.A.R.D.I.S or the Time Vortex?" I asked, tears still sliding down my face."No." the Professor said. "That energy is too strong."twow: “Hell, it might WORK, but it’s too strong.”Nightmare: This story is making me not want to exist anymore.Fallen: (from TV) You’re not supposed to exist anymore anyway."Kiss me." I said. "I'll feel better, and we can get the job done.""Okay." the Professor leaned forward, and I caught her around the neck, pushing my lips against her's."Okay, I'm better." I said, letting go of the Professor's neck. "Alons-y." I added in a bland voice.twow: Say that with more emotion!Doctor: And pleasespell it right.A Few hours Later"You foal!"Night Mare Moon stood over me in the sancuary of the Elements of Harmony, where we staged Phase One of our plan.  "What makes you think you can possibly defeat me!?"Nightmare: Truthfully, I found Twilight and her friends more of a threat."Them." I said in fake weak, pained voice.twow: (faking a weak voice) Yeah. We’re gonna stop you...Night Mare turned to face where I was pointing and gasped. There were the twelve Spirits of the Elements and the Doctorand Professor, waiting to be shot so they could regenerate."How did-?""With the power of faith." I said which was true to an extent.twow: “Curses! I’ve been foiled by the power of loooooove...”Nightmare: Friendship did me in.Doctor: Radiation. Not fun.It was time for Phase Two. I shot the deadly energy right at the Time Lord and Time Lady. I couldn't resist. Abandoning myweak act, I pounced on the Professor, just as she was starting to regenerate, and kissed her. The regeneration energy engulfed us both, blinding us.twow: Yup! Leap on the regenerating Time Lady? What could go wrong?!Doctor: How did he not get blasted backwards?twow: SEEMS LEGIT RIGHT?!When the Professor's regeneration stopped, we were both knocked out. Then, my eyes opened. "Professor?" I mumbled.I looked around.  Everyone was knocked out. I clumsily got off the Professor and started to leave, planning to return in theT.A.R.D.I.S.Nightmare: And LEAVE them?! Wow, that’s harsher than I am. I turned and got a surprise. The Professor hadn't changed! "What?" Then I realized it was my love for her thatstopped her appearance from changing, and she was alive.twow and Doctor: BULLSHIT.Doctor: Regenerating not only heals my wounds, it has to change my appearance. It’s a biological part of me and you CAN NOT CHANGE THAT."Phew." I then left to retrieve the T.A.R.D.I.S from the Everfree Forest. As I reached my destination, Princess Luna camewalking out. "Did you see a big blue box in there?" I asked her. "If you mean a Police Box, yes." she responded. "Thanks."Nightmare: Well...that was convenient.Luckily, the Doctor had given me a spare T.A.R.D.I.S key for occasions like this. As I walked up to the T.A.R.D.I.S, I said,"Come on Sexy." I walked into the console room and set the destination. "As the Doctor would say, Alons-y!" I said pullingthe start lever.twow: I swear he’s addicted to that Enter key. The engine started making the classic sound that I love so dearly (Well.... not as dearly as the theProfessor): Vworp....Vworp... Vworp. And then the T.A.R.D.I.S and I dematerialized out of the forest, and rematerializedin the sanuary.Doctor: Reappeared where?twow: Hell if I know. The dialogue was fucked.When I walked out, I was not surprised to see the rest of the gang was up again. Suddenly, the Professor tackled me, andkissed me on the cheek.Nightmare: I have a question. Whatever happened to me?!twow: The reason beat your ass and threw it on the street. "Next time, leave a note." she said. "Sorry." I apologized. I turned to the Doctor. "Well, guess thisis goodbye." "Yup." Doctor said. "Can we have a moment alone?" the Professor asked. "Sure." Doctor agreed.Doctor: Don’t I belong in this world? Why am I leaving?Nightmare: I assumed you were dropping the counterparts off at their world.Doctor: Rock said goodbye like it would be forever. I took theProfessor into the T.A.R.D.I.S, and we went to the corridor again. "I had a great time with you." Professor said. "Me too."twow: “I barely know you, but it was fun.”Nightmare: “Commence our mating!”I said. Then our lips connected, and we had the best (and only) ten-minute kiss in my life. When we finished, I said, "Doyou think Doctor will find a way?" "Of course he will." the Time Lady said. "He's the Doctor."twow: I DO NOT. UNDERSTAND.Nightmare: None of us do.I left the T.A.R.D.I.S, and let the Doctor pass though, along with the other versions of Twi, Pink, Flutter, Rar, A.J, and Spike.Then, the T.A.R.D.I.S dematerialized out of not only the sancuary,but our lives as well

Fallen: (from TV) Not over yet, guys. You still have 42 words’ worth of epilogue.

twow: What the FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

....."And that's what happened." I looked at Apple Bloom and her friends. They had fallen asleep. I sighed and got off the couch and walked to the window. "Someday Professor." I whispered. "Someday....."

Doctor: “Someday I’ll be free of all these dreams...”

THE END! :Dtwow: >_<Nightmare: I take it we are finished?Doctor: Yes. Let’s get away from here.

Fallen: (from TV) Congratulations to all three of you for surviving “Doctor/Professor Whooves VS Nightmare Moon.” I award 2000 points to Nightmare Moon, 1800 points to the Doctor, and I retract 500 points from twow.

twow: What the fuck Fallen?!

Nightmare: Does this happen to you often?

Doctor: More than he cares to admit.

twow: Of course we get an easy story last time, then this pile of puke! I swear, it’s like the author started hitting his keyboard with his face, then was all like “It’s good!”

Doctor: Half of the time we didn’t know who was talking to who, or what was truly going on.

Nightmare: Not to mention that the conflict was left hanging open. We don’t even know if I escaped, or if I died, or ANYTHING.

Fallen: I know. Beautiful, right? At any rate, twow, that was me going easy on you.

twow: EASY?!

Nightmare: I fear for what would happen if he went all out.

Pinkie: (from TV) Even I don’t know!

Fallen: Oh, Pinkie, if you like seeing twow suffer, you’ll be able to savor all that sweet, delicious pain for a looooooooooooong time with the last story I have in store for him.

Pinkie: Oh! Tellmetellmetellme!

Fallen: Alright. Don’t tell twow, but... (whispers in Pinkie’s ear)

Pinkie: (eyes widen) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

twow: I am GOING to shoot something.

Nightmare: If you will excuse me, I would like to leave.

Doctor: We can’t really just let you wander Equestria...

Nightmare: I will go to the old castle in the Everfree and live alone.

Fallen: Kinda like what Discord told me he’d do before I got retconned by canon...

twow: As long as you don’t cause trouble, we can keep this between the...five of us.

Fallen: I’m a bit surprised we’re trusting Pinkie Pie with a secret this monumental.

twow: If Pinkie can ping Twilight for keeping a secret about Spike that everypony knew, I’m sure we can trust her with this one.

Pinkie: You bet. And speaking of that...

(The lab doors unlock and open.)

Pinkie: You should probably stay away from your lab T. Because when Fallen comes back in here...

twow: Yeah, yeah. This infamous story. I’m sure that I can take what he dishes out.

Fallen: Seriously, NO ONE ELSE is bothered by Nightmare Moon just fucking off to live in the old castle? If anyone has the right to know she’s back, it’s Princess Luna.

Nightmare: Do you not trust me, Fallen?

Fallen: Pinkie’s a close friend, and I can barely trust HER.

Pinkie: Hey!

twow: What if she went to talk to the princess? That might work.

Fallen: ...maybe. Swear to Christ, next thing I know I’ll have Chrysalis on my doorstep bitching about dying changelings or something...

twow: Seeing as how she’s my favorite villain, I have a bad feeling about that comment.

Pinkie: You two talk too much! I gotta get set up for the next one!

twow: Oh boy...

Fallen: Pinkie... first of all, you of all ponies. Second of all, this is not the longest conversation I’ve ever held with any of you. Third of all, twow, have fun sleeping tonight. It might be the last sleep you’ll ever get.

twow: Because I NEEDED that nightmare fuel. Push the damn button Pinkie.

Pinkie: Sure things! Sweet dreams!

twow: Pinkie Pie...

(Pinkie pushes the button and the TV turns off with a blip.)