Nixon Rips A Hole In The Space Time Continuum And Wakes Up In Equestria

by slenderpony14

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Human, Comedy
Length: 1025

nixon rips a hole in the space time continuum and wakes up in Equestria

Just as the title says.
I was just walking through the deepest darkest hole holein hell when i stumbled onto this idea.
But seriously, this is not MY idea, it is a friend of mine's, he has giving me the wrights to wright this demented story. He also wishes to remain anonymous, so thanks to him. Who ever he is.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-14 22:00:02 UTC

Nixion Rips A Hole In The Space Time Continuum And Wakes Up In Equestria

The sent of mangos filled the air as the president entered the room. He was wearing a white Tuxedo with a blue undershirt and a golden hippy peace sign necklace. He had striped white pants to match his Tux. His eyewear was a pair of over sized police-like sunglasses. And his afro was swishing with every step he took in his Black dancing shoes.

He presed the red button on his desk as he started to moonwalk. "Nancy, send in the congrrrrrres!" He said in a happy voice, his cheeks shaking with every word longer then three syllables.

"Right away sir." Tbe intercom beeped. "And my name is Cindy!" The doors to the room Nixion was in opened and in walked four men in suits. Nixion stared at them stunned. His 'fro fell off. "Wait a minute, your the 'impeachment' deparrrrtment."

The man in front stepped forward. "Yes, and uh, Mr. Nixion, im afraid, er, sort of, to inform you that the people have spoken, and as of twelve'o'clock this morning, you will no longer be president."

"People? Is this because i threatened to murder frosty the snowman unless i got free rides at the amusement park?"

The man sighed. "No, Dick, it is because youve been spying on music companies as they record their songs. Take for example, Stayin' Alive, it is to be released in two years, i-i mean, if your forces were actully doing thier jobs, wall street would be a little bigger..."

"Aaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh." Nixion moaned, leaning back. "Is that all, is it not because i was also using my agents to spy on secret governnnnnnnment work on the possibbbbbbility of a nuclear war against the evil mole people that they've been keeping secret? He complained.

"Ah, Wait, what?" The congress man stuttered.

"Ahh. Well. Damn. Can I at least eat my lunch? Nixion reached into his jacket and pulled out a brown paper sack. It was wet at the bottem and stenched of cat urin. Shure enough, when Richard reached into the bag, he pulled out a white American Short Hair kitten.

Dick smiled and shoved the cat into his mouth. He swallowed his mouthful of cat hole.

"You know what, ive had enough of this! Barney, get dick and his disgusting, smelly, wet, sack out of this office!" The man pointed to Dick. A large man appeared out of the row of men in the back. He wore blue jeans and black boots with chains for laces, a big leather jacket, and had a Mohawk hairdo colored purple. "No problem boss." He sounded like Johnny Cash.

"Aaaahhh!" Nixion backed up into his desk. The (former) president reached over to his blue 'I *Heart* Mutten Chops' coffee mug. He threw it at Barney, who deflected it with his hand. When it hit the floor, it shattered,

But when the fragments scattered, the peices flew into a forming vortex. Nixion was sucked in.

Nixion awoke to realize that he was standing on

"Oh shut up!"

What?

"Nobody wants to read this crappy story! Your a horrible Writer!"

Look whoes' talking, Mr. Impeached president!

"At least i was presidant of something!"

I can make you stop talking, you know that, right?

"You cant make me do shi-"

He paused. "I think i'll go look for life."

He walked off. Hmp. Thats what i freaking thought. Now if youl excuse me, im gonna go listen to Jhonny Cash.

Nixion walked off to the trees that the narrator never described to be there, but were there. He pushed through them. On the other side, he saw a town with houses, toweres, and a windmill. He ran towards it. When he got there, he saw a pink pony, jumping up and down. He walked towards it. She saw him.

"Oh Hi are you here to play, cuz im here to play play play play play play play play PLAY!!" She yelled.

"Oh god, its currsed!" Nixion yelled, then he pulled out a  55 millimeter and shot the pony in the head. It exploded in an explosion of cake and confetti. "Hmp." He moaned. He put the gun away and continued to walk. He saw anoher pony, only it had a horn. When the former presidant reached it, he asked: "Excuse me, where am i?"

The pony turned and gasped. "A human! In Equestria? Wow! This is amazing!! I can finally study human necromancy!"

While the unicorn was rambling about blood and human urin, Nixion grabbed her horn and pulled it off with a snap. She screamed. "Aggh! Celestia! How am i supposed to learn friendship stuff now!" She started to cry. "Your mean!" She wailed.

Nixion puffed out his chest. "Well your mother was a FAT. ASS. UNICORN!"

"Its ture!" The pony wailed and ran away. Nixion swallowed her horn whole. "Mmm. Grape!"

Two minutes latter, nixion bumped into another pony, a yellow pegasus with pink hair. "Oh. Excuse me, if you dont mind..." she muttered.

"Ah! A talking pegasus! A talking pony and unicorn are common where i come from, but a talking pegasus! It must be a robot!" He exclaimed, then slapped it, then backhand, forehand, backhad, and so on. The pegasus screamed. "Ow. Ow. Ow!" She cried.

A rainbow colored streak shot from behind the trees which the narrator still hasnt talked about untill now. It Itwas a blue pegasus with rainbow colored hair, and it had a arm cannon that looked like it came from metroid. She saw nixion and shot him with it. The pagasuus flew away, then Nixion lookedback tosee that the wrightor had spalled pegasus with two U s. But then he pulled his gun out again and shot the new pegasus right between the eyes. The pegasus didnt evean flinch, and shot Nixions head off.

But then Nixion awoke to find that he was in a bath tub, surrounded by the congressmen. "Finnished with your bath?" The man in the front asked.

"No" nixion responded.

"To late."

They threw nixion out of the bathroom window and out on to the street.

"Damn." Nixion huffed.