Diary of the Dark Sister

by Anonymous Pegasus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2604

The unedited transcript of Princess Luna's very own journal.

This is the journal of Princess Luna herself, containing the writings of the Princess herself, featuring sporadic entries from when she first started to raise the moon, and charting a course to her becoming Nightmare Moon.

Published 2012-02-12 03:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-12 03:24:01 UTC

Chapter 1

AC 25 (After Creation) from the Diary of Princess Luna

Twenty five years. Has it really been that long? The nights just blend together for me now. There is no one to talk to. No one to meet. No parties to attend. Merely the almost autonomous raising of the moon and the night for me.

Celestia basks in the glory of her radiant duties. Her raising of the sun is shown with reverence, and envy. It is divine. A gift. Her duty, but also her gift to all the ponies of Equestria.

And that’s how it’s always been. She is the eldest, so it is her right to raise the sun, while I raise the moon. We agreed to it.

But.

The nights are so long. No one comes out to watch me raise the moon. No one showers me with praise or thanks me for my duty. They just...sleep.

But I shouldn’t be bitter. It doesn’t matter. My duties are more important than my own personal needs for social discourse.

AC 100

Seventy five years. Seventy five years since I last opened his journal. I’m not sure what to write in here. My sister says that I should keep a journal. Says it will be good for me to do so. She’s always trying to control what I do. It’s not good enough that she got to choose who raised what, but she’s trying to control my life as well. She never even sees me any more! Too busy at her parties.

Maybe I’ll turn this journal into my own little ‘I hate princess Celestia’ handbook. That would serve her right.

AC 500

I need to vent. I need to....do something. I am so just utterly.

I don’t even know the words! I don’t know how to put into words how badly I am mistreated! I raise the moon, every. single. night. Every night! And no one thanks me! Celestia is bourn upon a golden cloud of well-wishers, parties, and sunlight, and what am I given?! NOTHING! It has been five centuries and I still don’t know anyone!

The ponies SHUN my gift! It’s so unfair! Why can’t I raise the sun for a year?!

I cornered Celestia and asked her about it in the nicest way I ever could phrase it. I even turned aside my perfectly justified anger over how unfairly I’ve been treated. And she just patted my mane like I was a CHILD!

I can’t stand this. I can’t keep doing this.

AC 800

I’m doing it. To whoever finds this journal; let this mark the day that Princess Luna is no longer treated unfairly! She is standing up for herself this time!

I will no longer stand to be mistreated by that air-head sister of mine. We are rulers equal, and she will give me what is mine!

AB Day 1(After Banishment)

HOW DARE SHE. HOW DARE SHE. WE ARE EQUAL RULERS OVER ALL OF EQUESTRIA.

HOW DARE SHE BANISH ME!

I take action to receive what is rightfully mine, and she BANISHES ME?! We are EQUAL RULERS and she BANISHES ME?! What gives her the RIGHT?!

AB Day 2

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. How dare she banish me! She mistreated me, for all those centuries. She railroaded me into the most thankless job in all of Equestria and let the ponies shun my gifts while she gloried in their presence!

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.

AB Day 5

Celestia will pay. I’ll make her see the error of her ways. I won’t let her banish me this time. I’ll make sure my moon stays in the sky for an entire year. I only refused to let her raise the sun so that the ponies could bask in my glory for a change. But no. She took that from me. She takes everything from me.

I hate her.

AB day 7

An entire week. A whole week on the moon. Every day, I hate her more.

Boy is she in for a surprise when she comes back for me. I’ll destroy the Elements of Harmony that we made. I’ll show her what happens when she abuses her power to spite me.

An entire year of night. The ponies will be my subjects.

AB Week 3

I don’t know if this Journal is helping or not. I keep reading what I wrote, and it just keeps making me angrier. I remember all the injustices Celestia and the other ponies visited on me, and it just swells the growing rage in my heart.

I’ve never....looked at the moon like this before. I always raised it...but I never really knew the moon, you know? You know? You know. of course you know. You’re the only one here Luna. Your eyes are the only ones reading the angry words and the empty threats. You’ll be happy just to get off the moon, won’t you? You’ll be so happy you won’t even be mad any more?

Welp I’m talking to myself...or writing to myself. Or whatever it is this is. I’m going to go...explore the moon I think. And I’m leaving this journal here. I don’t need to be angry while I explore my kingdom. I don’t need to have memories of her in the place of my power.

AB Month 3 or something

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

There’s nothing up here. I went right around the whole entire thing until I came back across my own tracks. It’s just endless emptiness, silent and blank. And cold. So much cold. My magic keeps me warm...but only on the outside.

Writing down my feelings and thoughts seems to be helping. Without this journal, without this...this...

This is my only friend now. A collection of pressed material and a coarse cover holding the secret thoughts and feelings of Princess Luna. And a quill. My only company are a journal and a quill.

I don’t know what to think any more. Part of me wants to believe that Celestia never meant for any of this to happen. But I know it’s just the loneliness talking. I have my journal now.

Luna has her journal.

Luna doesn’t need to cry herself to sleep tonight.

AB Month 5

The stars are so accusing. They stare at me constantly. They’re taunting me with their freedom to move as they want. But I don’t mind.

I guess...I deserve it.

I’ve been a bad pony. I deserve my punishment. Celestia did her duty every day. It is merely an occurrence of chance that she raises the sun and I raise the moon.

I went walking again. It’s so quiet up here. There are no trees...no wind...no owls. No bugs to scurry. No warm fires and food. Just the endless empty expanse of the moon to keep me no company, and my own thoughts to accuse me.

And as I walked, I realised that I’ve been a bad pony. I was selfish and uncaring. Celestia didn’t ask to be praised like she does. She does not command that she receive adulation, it is merely a by-product of the world order. One of us had to raise the moon. That is my place in the world, and I accept that now.

Forgive me, Sister. I have been a bad pony.

I hate myself

AB Month 10

I’m sorry sister. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I wish Celestia were here for me to say the words to her myself. I’ve been such a bad mare. But I’ve learned my lesson. The silence is so loud here. It’s inescapable. I try to hum a tune but I don’t remember any of the songs any more. I try to sing but I don’t remember the words. I don’t even remember what Equestria looks like any more. It’s been so long since I was there.

I deserve it. I’ve been a bad pony. I deserve my punishment, I do. Celestia was right. I am a child. I’m lucky I even got to raise the moon at all.

But I’ll be the best sister ever when I get back. I promise. I promise!

I’ll raise the moon every night forever! I’ll be the best sister ever if I can just get off this moon. I want to hear the wind. I want to hear an owl hoot.

I want to hear something. The silence is driving my crazy.

I’m sorry Celestia. I’m sorry. Please know I’m sorry.

AB Month 12

I’ve lost track of the days. But the stars tell me that it’s been almost a year since I was banished!

A year of silence. A year of talking to myself and coming to terms with what I am. I am a horrible pony. I’m jealous and horrible, and I’m lucky that Celestia even put up with me for so long. But I’m going to turn it all around. She’ll come and get me soon. It’s been a year. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll never do it again. Never again. I’ve learned my lesson and I’ve listened to silence for a year. I’ve learned my lesson and she’s going to come and get me.

AB Month 12 Entry 2

It’s been a year. It has to have been.

Celestia is coming for me soon! She can’t leave me up here alone for more than a year, can she? She’s my sister! She’ll come and get me, and everything will go back to the way it was.

She’ll raise the sun, and I’ll raise the moon. It must be very tiresome for her to be doing the job of two Alicorns. She’ll be happy when I come back.

AB Month 12 Entry 3

She hasn’t come for me yet. Maybe I calculated the days wrong? That must be it. But she knows I learned my lesson. I promised, remember? Please come for me, sister. The silence is mocking me. I don’t want to be here any more. I can’t stand to be here any more. It’s been too long. Please don’t make me stay any longer sister.

I love you sister. please come and get me. I’ll be good. I promise.

AB year 2

She forgot me.

She left me here.

It’s been a year and Celestia didn’t come to get me.

It’s been a year. How could she leave me here? I’ve learned my lesson! I promised to be good. I begged her in my prayers every day to let me back. To help her raise the moon and usher in the night. But she’s deaf to me. She forgot me. She left me up here with the quill and book and my thoughts and the silence and nothing else. I probably deserve it. But

It hurts. It hurts me so deep inside that she’s leaving me up here. It’s like griffon claws tearing at my chest and smoke clawing at my throat and lungs. It hurts so much. I just want to go home. I don’t want to be here any more.

Why can’t I go home?

I’m sorry journal. I’ll write in you again I promise. But Luna has to go cry herself to sleep now.

AB year 3

Last night marked the start of the third year that I’ve been here on the moon. It’s so desolate and quiet. I can’t stop the silence from trying to get inside me. It gets inside my mind and just blanks everything out.

I

I think I enjoy it. I want the silence to blank it all out. The moon. Equestria. My sister. It hurts less when I let the silence block it all out and take over. And I like it when it hurts less.

Celestia didn’t come for me again. She’s forgotten about me. Or maybe she thinks I haven’t learned my lesson yet. I haven’t heard another ponies voice in so long that I don’t think I remember what it sounds like.

This journal is so old and tattered now. It’s seen things no living thing ever will. And I’m sure by now it’s soaked through with my tears from cover to cover. And the quill is only a stem of white now, where it was once a brilliant red.

I still remember when Celestia gave me these two things...She made them herself.

She pressed the pages with her own hooves, just for me. And the Quill....a Quill from her beloved phoenix Philomena.

A phoenix’s pinion. Rare and special.

‘Just like you’ she said.

Special.

I’m special.

But I don’t feel like it.

Sister...

Why did you abandon me?

Why aren’t I special to you any more?

Why don’t you love me any more?

Why don’t you love me...?

And now the Journal has to watch me cry to sleep all alone again. The tears this journal has seen.

Don’t you love me any more sister?

AD Year 5

Five years. Five entire long years on the moon. I want to hope that Celestia is going to come for me. I want to know that she will be here to get her sister.

But I am jaded. No matter how much I want to believe. I know that she will not come. She doesn’t love me any more.

Luna was too naughty. And now her sister hates her. And Luna has to live all alone on her moon.

But Luna doesn’t like living on her moon. Luna wants to go home.

But Celestia thinks that Luna should stay on the moon.

Luna doesn’t want to be alone any more. Luna just wants to go home.

But

Luna knows...

Luna knows that...she’s already home. The moon is Luna’s home now. And the silence is her friend.

AB year 137

There it is. I thought I lost you.

I went crazy without somewhere to put my thoughts. I should never have buried you, faithful journal. You’ve always been here for me. Always ready to hear my thoughts. I’m sorry I buried you. I thought you were poisoning my mind, but I was wrong. You were helping me see everything more clearly. The silence is the enemy here. I promise not to mistreat you like Celestia did to me.

I’m sorry I banished you, Journal. That was mean of me.

See? I can forgive. I came back for you. Like she never came back for me. But I’ll show her. Me and my journal will be coming back to Equestria Celestia. You can’t keep me up here forever. I’ll show you. I’ll show all of you.

I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve the silence and the loneliness.

I loved you. But you mistreated me. You punished me far beyond my crime, and I will not forget, dear sister.

AB year 999

The time draws close. I’ve prepared. I’ve thought over every possibility. There is nothing Celestia can do to stop me this time. She banished me, but she gave me the one thing I needed to plot her downfall.

Time.

I have endless time. But that time is almost over. A thousand long years. Everything has been accounted for.

Celestia will taste her own medicine. She will be left alone on my moon for a thousand years, while I reign eternal night of Equestria. Her subjects will become mine.

My beloved subjects will worship me as they do her. They will come to love me. They will come to love my gift, the night.

For tomorrow, Princess Luna no longer exists.

Princess Luna is no more.

Nightmare Moon is all that exists now.

Tomorrow. The stars align.

Tomorrow. I return.

Tomorrow, my night reigns!