A Demon King, A Mage, and A Utopia

by Youcannoterasethepast

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Changelings, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1978

Billy the Mighty Mage had just died in a battle with the demon King, Archhaven. He rejuvenates, teleports, misses, and ends up in Equestra.

Billy the Mighty Mage (who briefly considered changing his name to bill but decided against it) had just died in a battle with the demon King, Archhaven. However, thanks to poor observation skills on Archhaven's part, he was able to rejuvenate his body. New personality, new look, and new limitations. Whilst trying to preform an astral teleportation spell on both himself and Archhaven to keep his friends out of harm's way, he ends up you-know-where.
(Teen for colorful language on Billy's part)

Published 2013-05-19 07:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-22 01:48:51 UTC

Anger

Jack was giving Archhaven all he's got. Billy, on the other hand, was holding back so as to not destroy the Sora Tree. Archhaven was just about to perish for the last time, being blasted by the equivalent of 12,345.6 hurricanes. This was, of course, a  calculation done in Billy's head, as he shot massive shards of ice through the demon king's chest. In the midst of calculating how much longer until his enemy was dead, he felt a dull pain in his chest. Like filling a cavity, how you feel something happening, but you don't really feel it.

He looked down. A sword blade was protruding from his chest. There was no hilt in sight, so he must have been stabbed from behind. He grabbed the sides of the blades and slowly pushed it back, being careful not to cause more damage. He fell a good 57.3 feet, subconsciously calculating it out of habit. As he landed he scorpioned (which is when you heels go over your head whilst you are face down), and he soon heard a crack, which was his spine. The world started to fade. The last thing he thought he would hear was the beating of his heart.

Which was still working.

This was his chance. Whoever had stabbed him from behind missed his heart, there was still hope!

He concentrated as hard as he could on his wounds. A thin golden line started to move up his legs, behind it his bright red armor turned into a black, purple, and gold combination. He felt his wrinkles vanishing, which was slightly disorienting, since he wasn't used to his skin being so tight. As it reached his face, his missing eye grew back and his other one regained sight, and both went from green to grey. The line passed over his white hair, turning it black with only a small amount of salt and pepper (extremely limited grey hair).

He got up slowly from where he lay. He had rejuvenated many times before, but the age difference wasn't so great in hundreds of years, before he even came to the forest! The power he felt flowing through him was like an inferno burning inside every part of his body.

No... That's not power. I know what power feels like and this isn't it. Then he remembered what this was. This was an emotion he hadn't felt since the fires of Pompeii. Anger.

For those of you behind the fourth wall who don't know, Rule number one: The Doctor lies. Rule number two: Never piss off a mage.

Billy turned to face his attacker, which was Archhaven's small assistant. It was a frog-like creature about two and a half feet in height. "Alright you short little shit, you think it's fun to die? Let me show you how wrong you are," With that, Billy, with his mind, caused the poor creature to burst into a green flame, called Pyrus Acidium. The name says it all.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jack getting mauled by Archhaven. He couldn't let this happen. Jack was young and still had a universe to see. Billy, well, Billy is an old man who truly has nothing left to live for. He had made his decision. He and Archhaven will be sealed inside the astral plane for all of eternity. At least then  every man, woman, and child on Earth can sleep easy, even if they never knew the threat that hangs over their heads every day.

He took a deep breath. The air around him would kill a normal person if they inhaled it, thanks to all the magical feedback created by the battle. This spell, thankfully, required a ton of it. Golden figures grabbed himself and Archhaven by the wrists, guiding them to the next plane of reality. Archhaven, being a belligerent cretin as usual, tried to fight. To no avail, of course, these creatures were the truth behind God.

Billy dreamed as he was traveling between dimensions. He dreamed of his first conscious moment, wandering a field looking for his older brother, Andrew. He dreamed of swimming in the murky, almost black pond that started it all. He dreamed his own village being burned by some demonic creature. He dreamed of being raised in the dwarven orphanage, where he swallowed the magical gem that kept him pure. He remembered his first day at the forest. He remembered defending it from what his brother had become. He dreamed of his death as a demon, and second death as a human mage. Then he remembered Hannah, and Tyler. He had left his family without so much as a second thought...

Billy took several deep breath, as if he had held his breath for a whole minute against his will. A purple unicorn was standing above him. That's weird... my whole arm is asleep! He had no idea how to maintain a constant thought process at this point, as was a side effect of inter-plane travel. In a moments passing he went from sleeping body parts to a spray cheese moon. Thankfully, his thoughts were getting longer and more complex, so he could at last comprehend the oddly colored unicorn.

"You're not supposed to exist. This is the astral plane. Nothing is supposed to be here." he already felt his thoughts drifting, he wondered if everything was purple here.

The unicorn responded, or she seemed to be, in Billy's delusional mind "Doc, I think he's a primitive from another plane that got caught in some kind of rift. He seems to think hes in the 'astral plane'"

That certainly awoke Billy's brain, because the bed sheets (that he thought was grass) was up in flames in an instant "Don't you DARE call me primitive! I just single-handedly ripped a hole in space and time to get to no-man's-land and you call me primitive!?  I just fucking died and I don't need some bitch calling me simple-minded! He got out of bed and stormed down the hallway and out the hospital doors, leaving, of course, lethal electricity in the air behind him.

"Did that unicorn just talk?"

The Stupid and Pathetic Trixie!

Billy walked down the hallway from which he came. His entire thought process has returned, so he was able to fully comprehend that he missed an entire dimension. This body needed some breaking in. So as to not have a world turned against him, the armor he was wearing turned back into his robes. He noticed, his robes had gone from electric blue to purple and grey. He opened the door again, and said to both the unicorn and doctor.

"Excuse me, but did you just talk?"

"Yes..." The unicorn replied.

"Hello, I am Billy. Um... would you mind telling me where I am?'

"I'm Twilight, and you're in Ponyville"

"Way to be original, but could you be more broad"

"Equestria"

Some real imagination at work here "Is that the name of the planet?"

"No, its Equus"

Twilight was looking at him like he was crazy "Hello Twilight. As I once said, I am billy. I came from Earth where I tried to teleport my enemy to the astral plain, but I seem to have... ah... missed"

"You missed a whole dimension?"

"Hey! I just got this body! Don't judge!"

"You weren't born with that body...?"

"That's kind of what 'I just got this body' means" he paused "Sorry for calling you a bitch, interdimensional travel makes one's thoughts short and erratic, so it was impossible to think"

"Apology accepted"

The doctor, who seemed to be at a loss for words, finally piped up "Your... erm... going to have to pay for the bed..."

"No problem" he touched a small bit of ash, and immediately a pure silk sheet colored gold blossomed from that point, and the bed started to turn gold and repair the minimal damage done to it as well "Give it a try, I promise It'll feel like it's made of babies.

They give him a weird look.

"It's soft"

The doctor put a hoof on the bed, and what he felt was nothing. Literally, he couldn't feel the bed. He could sell this for a fortune, and just buy a old cheap replacement for the hospital and live in luxury.

"If you try to sell it, it will literally turn into shit"

The doctor tried and failed to mask his disappointment. Making Twilight giggle softly.

"I'm sure the value of that bed more than pays for my stay here?"

For only the second time the doctor speaks "Yes, sir"

Billy paused. He used to relish being called "sir". Now it just made him feel old. Which he was, just over 2000 years. But he didn't want to be reminded!

"Please, call me Billy"

"Yes si- Billy"

"Well, I'll be taking my leave. I have an astral plane to get to. It certainly was a pleasure to meet you both" With that, the air around him cracked and popped with electricity, and nothing else happened "There is a dimensional lock here, but why?" His jaw fell open "This body is stupid! I rejuvenated and it made me motherfucking stupid! How could I not have seen this before!? I took Archhaven with me to Equus, and now everyone living on this goddamn planet is going fucking die!" As he paced, the tile floors were scorched and melted. "Either one of you, I need a tour of Ponytown-

"Ponyville" Twilight corrected

"Ponyville, if anyone wants to live any longer than a week"

"I'll go. I might learn something on the way" Twilight said, the doctor looked relieved.

"Let us be off!"

Their trip was as follows: Town Hall, Sweet Apple Acres, school, Library and twilight's house, Rainbow Dash's house, Sugarcube Corner, and Fluttershy's cottage. He had met the residents of all of them, and attracted stares the whole way.

The only thing Billy got from all that, was the geography of ponyville, the personalities of about eight of it's residents, and news travels impossibly fast in Equus.

"I am the great and powerful Trixie!"

Twilight and Billy joined in a crowd, In which billy didn't exactly blend in, since even the taller ponies were only up to his chest.

"Word has come that there is a Human in Ponyville, by the name of Timmy! Not only is he human, but he is also capable of magic! Timmy, accept my challenge"

"It's Billy, and do not accept your challenge. I do, however, accept your request to be publicly shamed!" He teleported in front of the pony, who didn't even flinch.

"Anything you can do, I can do better with magic! Let us start with that teleportation spell!" She teleported three balls, stacked on top of each other perfectly, and teleported herself on top of them all, managing to star perfectly balanced.

"Very impressive. Now lets try taking away the invisible support strut" A metal support strut was briefy visible holding the balls on on top of the other, before vanishing. Trixie immediately fell to the ground. "Alright, multicolored fire spell" A different colored flame sprouted from each of his fingertips, and flew together to make a multicolored ball of fire.

Trixie hesitated for a moment, then took the ball of fire in her own hooves. Multi Colored streams of water came from her horn and made a ring around the ball of fire "Beat that!"

"If you say so" The ball immediately lost its structure, and the flames extinguished and the water fell, soaking he. "Wanna know the best part? As the water was falling, I replaced it with piss from the sewers. You, Trixie, are covered in piss"

With that, she began to cry.

"Lets hear it for the Stupid and Pathetic Trixie!" Most ponies "clapped" but a few looked disapprovingly at billy. Including Twilight.