Cupcakes: An escape guide.

by Ice

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1307

All you need to know when a pink pony has you strapped down and has a knife in her hoof

Due to the recent increase in cupcake victims I have taken it upon myself to write up a survival manual. I don't know how long I'll have before she finds me....I just hope this gets out there in time.

Published 2012-02-11 21:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-11 21:24:02 UTC

A guide to survive

Author's Note

Updated as of: 10/01/2015 22:38

A guide to survive

If you are reading this then she has probably captured me do yourself a favour read this, destroy it and watch your back.

The basics.

To avoid capture.

If captured and escaping

Staying alive.

* * *

The Basics

The "Cupcake" system is something most ponies will disregard as a foal's tale, something to convince little ponies to play nice with one another and to help every grandmare across the road that they come across, I know otherwise.
Nopony is completely sure of how it works, if it's a randomly generated individual each time, if it's whoever this sick individual decides has fulfilled of sorts, for all we know they could be decided by how many stray strands of hair there are in your mane, while much of it is up to speculation, there is one thing we know.
NOPONY is safe no matter where you live or who you are she will come for you. Some have speculated that individuals in positions of power are removed from this twisted lottery, frankly the only reason that we've deduced as to why this could be the case is the simple fact that it's much easier to convince one pony to look the other way, than to remove a succession of those that won't.

* * *

Avoiding Capture

(Note 1) You know how your mother always said never accept something from a stranger? This applies here, specifically.
Many points in which there has been evidence of a fight, things being moved in an odd fashion, traces of: ponies, gryphons, minotaurs and various other species, who have somehow vanished, are almost always accompanied by half-eaten (sometimes they don't even get that far) snacks, of the baked variety.
(Note 2) Always lock up at night, if you feel unsafe, if you feel as though you're being watched from a distance or as though something just isn't right always stay with a group of friends it won't stop her, but you know what they say about running from manticores, faster than your friends, not the beast itself.
(Note 3) As noted earlier, there is the suspicion that individuals in higher positions may be "immune" to the selection process, we have also come to the conclusion that while dangerous, the individual we're dealing with, is not alone. Various sources who have helped compile this guide have noted how every now and then, just as they go through their day to day life, they'll sometimes see somepony with that little glint of insanity in their eye, just to find themselves running from the murderous mare within the next few days.
(Note 4) In the event she does try to capture you and you are unfortunate enough to make direct contact with he, I'm sorry, but all that can be said to do is run, run as fast and as a far as you can, you can't stop running. Your life is now about survival, finding odd jobs to fund your travels, feeding yourself, keeping yourself on the move, doing anything you can to keep yourself going, because you are no longer safe... not that we ever where.

* * *

If captured

If the worst possible event should come to pass, if your days, weeks, months or even years of hiding have seemingly been wasted overnight, I pray for your swift demise and sanity, however, should you be more capable then others, perhaps even here, you can survive.
(Note 1) She will almost always have a helper, usually a young filly or colt, always bringing new victims hardly gives her time to keep constant track of them or to take "care" of them.
(Note 2) The twisted mare has many a ways to rip a stallion or mare apart, you can find yourself with nothing but your nerves, skeletal structure and muscles showing and she'll somehow keep you alive. As gruesome as this seems however, multiple individuals have noted that in their younger years, they were rather athletic, well built individuals, these types found themselves being starved, being left to rot and wither away before they're brought under her scalpel.
Within this scenario you'll normally be in a cell with a skylight, leaving you exposed to whatever elements the day decides to bring about. You'll quickly discover, however, that you have little to no chance of making use of the helper, yet, as they'll be clever about dealing with you, making sure you're never near enough to the door to try anything funny. As time goes on however, you'll find your chance, they will come in at some point and that's when you take your chance and your hostage.
(Note 3) As of this point you're own your own, through thorougher investigations my associates and I have come to the conclusion that she has multiple locations in which she keeps her victims, that or she changes her traps every other day.
My only piece of advice is to watch for a symbol of several balloons, this typically seems to be the right way to go and remember, should the dreaded encounter come with her, stand your ground, make use of your hostage, endure what you must and escape.

* * *

Staying Alive

Unfortunately ,my dear friend this is not much I can say help you here, you have managed to escape the most evil and twisted being alive but you will never truly be free.
You will always have to live with the fact she is looking for you, that she will show no mercy and worst of all you will alone, for every moment, of every day, for the rest of your life. For with this, you must understand, there is not a single living individual that you can trust at this point, this is you versus them, and victory is nothing but solace in your solitude

Entry Log: 2nd of the Morning star.

I have been alone for several months, my nightmares plagued by her infernal laughing, I find myself shivering during a beautiful summer's day. I find myself disgusted by the idea of food, the risk that it presents and yet I force myself to eat, if only to silence my growling stomach, if only to prevent giving myself away to any listening ears.

Entry Log: 5th of the Dawn' star.

It has been a while but I traveled back to my hometown Ponyville, it's as I've always said, nowhere is safe, now. The first Pegasus to do a "Sonic Rainboom", what was her name... Rainbow Dash, yes that was it, she's been missing for sometime apparently joining the Wonderbolts....honestly when I think about it, when I sit down and consider every possibility and even after considering everything, I know, it isn't a coincidence, I know she is involved.

Entry Log: ??? of the Twilight's star.

Another poor soul, another Element of Harmony. At this point one has to wonder if this individual has some sort of agenda of their own, perhaps they seek to conquer our kingdom, although at this point I'd say they already have, the princess on the throne holds no powers in the shadows, it seems.

For a short time, I had remained hopeful, I had began to delude myself with the idea that I had been lucky, that despite all those before me, she had forgotten about me, that despite all that she had done and all those that had come before me, that I had been the lucky one, that she had left me alone, and yet here I am, preparing myself to die, preparing to hide this little book, so the maybe, if somepony, somebody reads this, they will survive and they will be able to stop this madness.