On Her Majesty's Secret Service

by Fuckoff

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Sex, Tragedy, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Wonderbolts, DJ P0N-3, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 5601

"Oh the things I do for Equestria" Iron Shield and his long time partner Midnight Moon are newly inducted agents in the Equestrian Secret Service

"Oh the things I do for Equestria"
Iron Shield and his long time partner Midnight Moon are newly inducted agents in the Equestrian Secret Service. Their mission, to find out who would attack the Equestrian Royals. For Iron and Midnight life has never been more exciting. Casinos, Clubs, Alcohol, money and MARES.

Published 2013-05-20 10:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-26 07:41:02 UTC

Prologue - New Beginnings

1700 hours…

“Ah, BUCK!!!” cursed Iron Shield as he raced down the hallways of the royal palace; explosions rocked the normally peaceful halls, tearing chunks out of the walls and sending debris flying.

‘It’s all gone to hell’ he thought as he rounded another corner, his hooves clopping loudly on the marble floor. He had to get to the Princesses and get them to the safe room, after that he could join the resistance and launch a counter attack to drive the attacker back.

Another explosion shook the palace and part of the hallway Iron shield was in suddenly ceased to exist, Iron was knocked off his hooves and sent flying back into a solid marble wall.

‘Good’ he thought sarcastically ‘nice to know that there is still some castle left’.

Somepony was shouting “BREACH! BREACH! BREACH!”

Iron’s ear piece crackled into life as a voice announced “this is Shining Armor issuing a general alert, be advised insurgents have breached the southern perimeter! Protect the Princesses at all costs!”

“How the hay did they advance so fast” he cursed again.

Iron had almost reached the throne room where the Princesses would be awaiting their escort to the safe room and eventually extraction.

“So, are you still with us?” a voice in his ear piece asked.

“Yes” Iron replied

“It’s good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor… Oh wait you never had one” the voice burst into laughter.

“Now is neither the time nor the place for such crude insults Midnight Moon” Iron said, his irritation increasing somewhat significantly.

Midnight Moon was always so inappropriate. She shared this trait with all the other ponies of Princess Luna’s night guards. Don’t get me wrong though she was very attractive; her light mauve mane and coat were always catching the eye of many a passing stallion; her violet bat like wings only added to her beauty; she had a well-toned body, complete with a flank that mesmerized stallions better than his own magic (which she loved to point out all the time) and lastly her amber cat-like eyes captivated all who stared into them.

In other word ‘Damn she a sexy mare’.

“Sure it is! It helps lighten the mood” Midnight said immediately, defending herself as always.

“Yep that’s right Midnight! Turns out your new found talent at lighting the mood has won us the battle. You’re the big hero. We’re even going to hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float and Celestia is in CHARGE OF CONFETTI! Yelled Iron sarcastically

“I’m no stranger to sarcasm Iron” replied Midnight casually

“Dammit Midnight shut yer trap or I’ll poison your next meal” Iron said offering his rebuke with deadly seriousness.

“Yeah okay then, jeez, don’t get your mane in a tangle” She chortled

Iron chose to ignore her last comment and steered the conversation back to more pressing matters. “What is your current status and how are the Princesses doing?” He demanded.

“Well, technically everything is fine” Midnight said hesitantly.

“What is that supposed to mean, Midnight what’s happened” Iron asked suspiciously.

“Nothing, nothing everything is fine here, we’re all okay. How are you?” she replied laughing hysterically.

“Midnight” Iron said slowly.

“Okay, okay” she began “well, Princesses Celestia is alright actually, Mistress Luna has been hit by debris and I’m pretty sure Princesses Twilight has passed out…” pausing to give Twilight a nudge with her hoof “yup out cold” she finished.

“Well I suppose since nopony got hurt that it is al….. WHAT Princess Luna got hit by debris? How badly is she injured? Is she conscious? S…S…She isn’t dead is she?” Iron flustered, on the verge of hyperventilating.

‘Go to your happy place Iron, yes your happy place where EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE! Ah that’s better…. mmmmmmmm’

“Iron…hey Iron… IRON” screamed Midnight, effectively snapping him out of his trace.

“What! What happened? Who said that?” Iron said stunned.

“Oh nothing, you just started talking to yourself. Something about Princess Celestia’s rump being more beautiful than the morning dawn” she replied, trying not to giggle but failing spectacularly.

Iron felt himself blush “well…yes…you see” he stammered. Clearly at a loss for words he quickly changed the topic “I am inbound on your position, ETA five minutes. Iron out.” He finished, ending the transmission.

“Dammit, I’m such a foal” Iron said under his breath banging his head on the wall, “I’ll never hear the end of this” wincing when he hit his horn a little too hard. Sighing he resigned himself to his fate and set off once again toward the throne room.

Iron was sprinting down the halls and again another explosion took out the wall in front of him. This time a unicorn appeared from the hole in the wall, her face was covered in a by a hood and a bandanna. On her flank (not that he was staring at it of course), her cutie mark was obscured by the symbol of the insurrection; a large black circle with arrows pointing in every direction, each arrow was a slightly different length.

She charged at him her horn glowing with magical power.

“HALT! Go no further if you wish to live” cried Iron.

“NEVER! Royalist dog! We shall have our freedom” screamed the unicorn back at him discharging her magic at him in a single blast.

Iron quickly flung himself to the side as bolt of deadly magic flew by his head impacting in the wall beside him. ‘Whoa that was close’ he thought. He charged up his own horn and fired back, causing the unicorn to dive for cover behind a pot.

The two continued exchanging shot for the next two minutes, before Iron got the upper hand and lunched a small blast that hit the unicorn in the chest, causing her to slip and fall knocking her head on a piece of rubble.

Iron walked over to her, removed her hood and bandanna and checked to see if she was dead or not. The good news was she was still breathing but wouldn’t be joining the fight anytime soon. He wiped the blood from her face and treated the wound as best he could and continued on his way.

***

Exactly six minutes later Iron Shield arrived at the throne room, he quickly burst through the doors and into the hall. He slipped on the highly polished floor and slid on his back all the way across the room, coming to a stop just in front of a very amused Midnight Moon.

“Are you quite finished horsing around, we’ve got work to do” she said sniggering under her breath.

“Yes, where are the Princesses?” Iron asked ashamed.

“They’re waiting for us just up ahead” Midnight answered still trying not to laugh.

“Well let’s not keep them wa… MIDNIGHT STOP THAT!” Iron said annoyed.

“Stop what?” replied Midnight shaking from invisible laughter. Her whole body was racking with each silent laugh that echoed through her.

“Have modicum of sophistication and professionalism” Iron pleaded with her, not wanting to be seen by the princesses acting this way.

Still Midnight continued to laugh getting louder and louder until she was rolling around on the floor holding her sides.

“What are you even laughing at?” Iron questioned perplexed as to what was even remotely funny enough to warrant this behavior.

“Y…Your coat is… it’s PINK” She responded gasping for breath, tears forming in her eyes.

Iron looked at himself and sure enough his normally lustrous white coat was bright pink from head to hoof ‘Gah! What the BUCK is this’ he thought trying to remember when this could’ve happened. He honestly couldn’t think of how this happened, anyway this didn’t nearly bother him as much as Midnight’s apparent lack of self-control. Iron hated non-professionalism.

“Yes I’m pink now stop laughing the princesses will see us…” his color drained and his face screwed up in disgust “… being non-professional” he shivered. Iron really, really despised non-professionalism.

“No can do man, it’s just too funny” Midnight said between fits of laughter getting louder still.

“Iron Shield is that you?” a voice called from across the room.

“She’s coming” he cursed, silently screaming profanities in his head. “Please stop Midnight” Iron begged.

“Make me!” she challenged still laughing. Knowing there was nothing he could do to stop her… or so she thought.

Iron suddenly leapt on top of Midnight and before she could even say a word planted a kiss on her lips. Her eyes fluttered wide open as she felt his tongue enter her mouth and start playing with hers. To his surprise she wrapped her forehooves around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening their kiss and running her tongue along his teeth, enjoying his taste.

“Ahem” a voice said quietly

Iron looked up and saw Princess Celestia smiling warmly at them (a part of him noticed that she completely ignored the fact he was pink).

Iron quickly broke away from Midnight, who gave a little protest. “Aw no fair, it was just getting good” she said licking her lips, savoring his taste. Iron on the other hand was blushing furiously and apologizing to Celestia “Y…Y…Your majesty! I… uh… I can explain” he stammered.

“You have no need, I thought that display was most warming” Celestia cut him off “Ahh, young love” she said reminiscently staring off into the distance.

“Young love?” He questioned

“Oh yes! You two are clearly in love. One does not share a kiss that intimate and not be in love” She replied looking at the confused and flustered Iron Shield.

“Oh…umm…what…uh exactly mean by that intimate?” he asked again

“My dear, she…” pointing a hoof at Midnight “… was almost forcing herself on you. Had we been any later and you two might have been engaging acts that… uh… how to put this… umm, not often seen in polite society” She responded nonchalantly.

Iron was shocked and a little intrigued at the casualness in which Princess Celestia had just described the events that were sure to unfold had they not arrived. He quickly stole a glance at Midnight Moon who was positively radiating with happiness. ‘Could that actually have been something more than a kiss?’ he asked himself.

Iron made a mental note to ask Midnight about this later. Pushing that to the back of his mind he turned his attention back to matters at hoof.

“Your majesty, we must get you to the safe room and call for evac” he informed the Princess, but she held a hoof up to silence him.

“I thank you for your concern but that will no longer be necessary, as Shining Armor and his brave guards have already pushed the attackers back far enough to not be considered a threat. You are forgiven for not noticing as you seemed to have been otherwise pre-occupied” She said, a smirk on her face.

“Oh, well… um I guess me and Midnight will be on our way then, your majesty” Iron said bowing before he turned and walked blushing furiously.

“However…” the Celestia continued “… I have another mission for you it is of great importance and requires the utmost secrecy”.

“Anything your majesty requires” Iron responded

“Your new mission will require I grant you a new status, you to Midnight Moon. You both will be a part of a new organization specifically tasked to protect Equestria and her crown from all threats both foreign and domestic that would seek to destroy it.” Celestia said motioning for Iron and Midnight to kneel before her.

“Raise your right hooves and repeat after me” Celestia said.

Both Iron and Midnight raised their hooves and silently waited.

“Do you solemnly swear to defend Equestria from all those who would do it harm…”

“We do” responded both Iron and Midnight together

“…And do you swear to protect its citizens…”

“We do” they repeated in unison

“…To defend the helpless even at the cost of your own lives…”

“We do” they said full of patriotic enthusiasm

“… Then arise and accept your new title as agents of the Equestrian Secret Service” Celestia finished placing her hoof on each of the two ponies shoulders.

“Your first assignment will begin tomorrow, accommodation has been prepared for you, however we could only find a one bedroom house for you at such short notice I’m sure you’ll like it. Go now and rest, return to me tomorrow at six o’clock sharp. Oh and do try to abstain from any rigorous activity” she added with a suggestive smile.

Iron looked across at the beautiful mare sitting beside him, his shame forgotten as he stared into her eyes with an intense fierceness. To his delight her eyes reflected the same intensity.

‘Oh yes’ he thought ‘I don’t think they will be much sleeping tonight’…

…To be continued

END CHAPTER 1

Author's Note

Hey! I know this is a farcry from my usual (dark) stuff. I just wanted to see how I would go and I actually found this pretty fun to write. Let me know how I did in the comments, Favourite and Like the story if you want more (hell you can even follow me too if you want). Cya

Chapter 1 - Welcome to the Jungle

‘Wow!’ was all Iron Shield could think as he rolled over to face the mare sleeping beside him. She was snoring softly and by Celestia’s mane did that make her look cute. Iron traced a line from her face all the way down her flank, resting on her cutie mark where he began to move his hoof in a figure of eight. She shivered and moved closer to him, snuggling up to him. Iron leant over her, “liar” he said softly whispering in her ear causing her to shiver again.

“Mmmmm… That was awesome” moaned the mare stretching, turning to face Iron.

“It sure was.” He agreed, staring into her amber eyes. “I love you and only you, Midnight, but we must agree that if the need arises and our new job requires it, that we are both prepared to… um… put out for others... for the sake of Equestria” Iron said blushing furiously.

“I really love you too Iron and I do agree we should put duty before love” Midnight responded, caressing his face lightly. “Lay back down” She demanded, her hoof pointing at the pillow, “Now!” she finished. A wicked and seductive smile spread across her face.

“Okay but only for a... BUCK!” he screamed just noticing the clock on the bedside table. ‘Its half past five already!’ He thought, jumping out of bed and catapulting Midnight onto the floor.

“Hey! Careful stud” cried Midnight, rubbing her head gently.

“Oh sorry” Iron yelled back at her whilst racing toward the bathroom.

“What’s the big rush anyway?” She asked, getting lazily to her hooves and walking over to the bed again.

“We’re supposed to meet Princess Celestia in half and hour” he cried, concerned at her lack of enthusiasm. ‘Of course she doesn’t care! I’m going to need to give her a little motivation’ he thought.

“You know…” he began putting on his most seductive voice “… the faster we get though work the more time we’ll have to play!” he finished hoping she’d eventually get his drift. She didn’t.

“Huh? What do you mean play?” Midnight said rising an eyebrow, completely oblivious to the message he was trying to get across.

Iron face hoofed himself. “BUCK! Midnight! The faster we finish with our work the more time we get to BUCK!” he shouted bluntly, however, the desired effect was achieved as Midnight scrambled to push past him into the bathroom almost tripping over her own hooves.

‘Hmmm’ he thought rubbing a hoof lightly on his chin, ‘she seems to respond well to sexual encouragement, I’ll have to use that more often’.

Iron walked slowly after her into the bathroom. To his amazement she was furiously trying to comb her mane, she never did that. However she seemed to be having trouble with using the comb so he decided to lend a hoof (or rather a horn). “Here…” he said, levitating the comb and running it through her mane as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation.

“You really know what a mare wants do you Iron. I bet you do this for all the ladies” Midnight teased, looking back at him with those big amber eyes.

Oh he could melt. Iron hated when she did that.

“Get in the kitchen you big tease and have something to eat quickly” Iron said smiling and only realizing the implications of what he said after she had left smiling obliviously.

Get in the kitchen! Really Iron, really, she’ll probably ask me if I want a sandwich next.

“Hey Iron?” called Midnight from the kitchen.

“Mwat!” he replied, now brushing his teeth and combing his mane at the same time.

“You know that it’s quarter to six, right?” she said sniggering. Knowing full well what his reaction would be. She didn’t count on how fast it would be though.

Iron raced into the kitchen grabbing a stunned Midnight with his magic as he ran by, screaming as many profanities as he could possibly think of.

“The Princess is going to murder me!” he groaned, running out the door and down the streets of Canterlot toward the palace.

***

Iron arrived in the throne room, panting heavily with Midnight still caught in his magic grasp and looking rather bored.

‘Oh great the Princess isn’t here yet’ Iron thought with relief flooding through him.

“You gonna put me down now?” Midnight said smiling.

“Oh… yeah! Sorry… about that” Iron said in-between pants.

“Damn man, you only ran like a hundred meters, you’re really out of shape” Midnight said teasing him.

“Buck… you” responded Iron.

Midnight could see that her stallion was in no shape to appear before the Princess. He would absolutely die of shame if she saw him like this. Midnight had been waiting for the perfect time this out and now seemed like the perfect time.

“Iron” She said slowly in her sexiest voice walking slowly toward him shaking her flank from side to side, mesmerizing him.

“Ah… not… now Midnight… I feel depleted…” Iron pleaded using every ounce of willpower to try and resist her.

Dammit Iron, don’t give in… just don’t give in! Arrgg… can’t… resist… anymore… too… HOT… Gimme!

Iron felt his resolve crumble as she leant in, closed her eyes and kissed him on the lips. An electric shock repeatedly jolted his body back to life.

“… yet inexplicably rejuvenated” he finished breaking the kiss and looking at the beautiful mare. “Uh… Thanks? I guess” he said confused as to whether he should be scolding or hugging her.

“Don’t mention it. After all, I am your marefriend” Midnight said sealing the deal once and for all and staking her claim to Iron.

Oh buck yeah! Iron screamed silently in is head. “You know I never dreamed that you would pick me over all the other stallions out there” He said blushing and turning his head away.

Oh he’s so adorable when he’s blushing like that. It turns me on sooo bad. Midnight thought smiling seductively and whispering softly into his ear, “of course I’d choose one of the hottest stallions around and now that you mine, I’ll have to fend off the hundreds of jealous mares.”

Iron shivered as she nibbled on his ear.

Whipped… Hard! Was all Iron could think as Midnight continued nibbling playfully on his ear.

“Well I’m impressed that you two even made it here at all” A voice said behind Iron, causing him to jump in surprise, turning to find Princess Celestia smiling warmly at them.

Ahh! She’s gotta be some kind of ninja. How the buck else does she do that!

“Uh… Princess… we… uh… were just talking about last night” Iron stammered, again startled by her sudden appearance.

“Is that what they call it now days” She said clearly not fooled.

Smooth Iron, real smooth! He thought, mentally facehoofing himself.

“Anyway…” Celestia said changing the topic to a more serious matter. “… You’re here now and it’s now time to meet the team. Follow me!” Celestia said razing a hoof motioning for them to follow her.

They followed the Princess behind her throne to a very ordinary looking brick wall, looking at her with confused stares. Celestia and tapped a brick in the wall and smiled as their jaws dropped when a section of the wall slid across revealing a small metal box just big enough for five ponies to squeeze into.

“Please… Step inside” Celestia beckoned walking into the box.

Iron and Midnight looked at each other nervously before stepping inside the box.

“Well this isn’t so bad” Informed Midnight chuckling softly, embarrassed by her hesitance to get in.

“No… It’s not bad at all” Celestia responded with a mischievous grin as she pressed a button.

“Now descending to sub-level one” the box informed them in a cheery voice with made Iron uneasy.

“Oh son of a bi…” Was Iron could cry before the box dropped like a rocket, speeding toward the ground at terrifying speed.

Iron was sure they were finished, when the elevator jerked suddenly, throwing Iron off his hooves and into the roof. He looked over at the Princess and Midnight who apparently weren’t affected by the sudden stop.

“What are you doing Iron?” Midnight laughed on the verge of crying.

“Getting concussion, if that’s alright with you?” Iron said sarcastically.

“Have a pleasant day” sighed the box happily.

Iron gathered what little dignity he had left and got up off the floor and composing himself briefly before stepping out of the box and right into a rather amused looking orange mare.

“You okay there buddy? Looks like you copped a bad beating from the elevator.” She asked trying not smirk.

“Yeah, I think I’ll live” Iron responded meekly, his pride had been damage beyond repair.

“Well that’s good to hear, I’m Spitfire by the way” she said holding out a hoof.

Wait! Spitfire! As in THE Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts! Oh snap!

“Ahh… pleased to meet you, I’m Iron Shield…” he said shaking her hoof “… and this is…”

“… The name’s Midnight Moon!” Midnight said interrupting him to introduce herself whilst extending her hoof and hoof bumping Spitfire.

Oh sweet Celestia’s noodle, she’s more colt-like than you Iron!

“Sweet! Nice to meetcha both...” Spitfire began. She lowered her sunglasses ‘… especially you’ she thought staring intently at Iron, who was completely oblivious to the vibe she was sending out. Unfortunately Midnight wasn’t…

Oh no you don’t, don’t even think about it. That colt is MINE!

… and shot Spitfire a death stare. Moving closer to her stallion and leaning in to kiss him passionately.

“Midnight! Do try to contain yourself” Iron said after she had broken contact, smiling at him.

“Sorry love, it’s quite hard for a mare to control herself around you” she said staring directly and Spitfire, who had clearly got the message by now.

“Ah… yes… on that note let’s go and meet the others” Spitfire said nervously, edging away from the slightly crazy mare and proceeding down a brightly lit hallway to a large hall with tables and chairs spread all around.

“So anyway this is the mess hall... not much to look at” Spitfire said nonchalantly walking over toward a table where some ponies were eating and talking loudly. “Hey guys! Come say hey to our newest members!” Spitfire yelled out, turning every head toward her, as she motioned for Iron and Midnight to join the table.

They all stared eagerly as Iron and Midnight took a seat,

Damn! This isn’t awkward at all! Make sure to be confident and make a good first impression Iron. You can do this!

“Uh… hello everypony my name’s Iron Shield and this here…” he said pointing at the mare standing beside him “… is Midnight Moon” Iron finished. There was silence and Iron was worried he had done something wrong, but, his fears were set to rest after a blue maned mare wearing purple shades spoke up.

“Sup! I’m Vinyl Scr…r…r…ratch! She sung as if rocking to an invisible beat, her blue mane swinging wildly around her head as she extended a hoof to both of them, shaking them each in turn.

Oh great! More celebrities, now I feel so much more relaxed.

“Wait! I can understand the Wonderbolts being involved, but you’re a DJ. I apologize in advance if I’m out of line here, but aren’t you just a little under qualified for this?” asked Iron inquisitively.

“That’s one of the reason’s I’m perfect for this. Nopony expects the talented, beautiful, wild, exotic, passionate…”

‘Damn! Sure hope there isn’t any sharp objects nearby or she might accidently burst her enormous ego’ Iron thought flatly.

“… amazing and twenty percent cooler dj-pon3 of being a secret agent” she finished causing everypony to groan with relief.

The next pony to introduce themself was a grey mare with bubbles for a cutie mark.

“Heya there, I’m Derpy Hooves” she said warmly smiling at them. Her eyes were greatly lopsided.

“I’ve actually heard your name before but I can’t remember where…” Iron said screwing his face up in concentration trying to remember where he’d heard her name.

“… Aha! You’re the mailmare from Ponyville, Equestria’s clumsiest mare I believe if I’m not mistaken.” Iron had only just finished speaking before he found himself sailing through the air toward the wall on the far side of the room.

‘What the hay? Did she hit me? I didn’t even feel it! Oh buck!’ Iron thought as he saw the wall approaching fast. Time seemed to slow down as Iron quickly turned his body in the air and impacted the wall on all four hooves, quickly jumping off in a spectacular fashion and looking down in surprise at the wall.

The wall had splintered and a huge impact crater was left where he had smashed into it. He looked over to the table where a rather angry Derpy was snorting loudly.

“Don’t ever call me that again!” screamed Derpy her eyes quickly losing their normal offset and taking a deadly, calculating stare, she looked completely different. It was kind of awesome.

Good job Iron you’ve managed to piss off somepony and you haven’t even been here for an hour. Bucking spectacular effort my good man!

“Sorry” Iron said looking down at the ground and kicking his hoof lightly. Putting his head up, he saw the stunned look on everypony’s face. “What? Why are you all starting at me like that?” Iron asked worried.

“Dude! You just survived Derpy’s rage attack unharmed!” exclaimed Vinyl. “No one ever gets off uninjured…’ she continued pointing to the wall around him where he gulped as he saw the other impact craters each with a pony shaped hole in them.

“Um… I was probably just lucky” Iron said modestly, not wanting to big note himself as he wasn’t entirely sure what he had done that was so mind boggling.

“Lucky! LUCKY! Dude one minute you were insulting Derps here and the next you were flying into the wall and I was like there goes another one better call a med pony, but you just spun around in the air landed on the wall and… like… backfliped off it landing on all fours with not even a hair out of place and all in the space of… like… twenty seconds” she finished smiling as though she had just described a scene from the ‘manetrix’ novel.

Over in the corner Midnight smiled proudly to herself ‘that’s Iron for ya, doesn’t know his own strength’ She thought. That little display had only served to turn her on even more than before and she smiled again closing her eyes, fantasizing about what she would do to him later. Her fantasy was cut short by the Princess who was eager to get underway.

“Well now that introductions are done I think we can get started” Celestia said softly, flicking the lights off and using her magic to pull a screen down where a large picture came into focus. It was of a blue mare with a blood red mane and a large scar down her left eye. “This is your target, her name is unknown we only know her by her alias Blood mane…”

‘Gee I wonder how she got that name’ thought Iron sarcastically.

“… She is the leader of a known terrorist organization called Karma whose main goal is Equestrian domination. However, they go about this under the pretense of liberation. Their followers believe that a miserably freepony is better off than a content slave. Ponies, we are dealing with extremists who believe what they are doing is right. That makes them twice as determined and twice as dangerous.” Celestia finished casting a concerned over her team.

“It falls to ponies such as your selves to neutralize this threat and maintain the peace…” Celestia said as the ponies settled in for a rather long and uneventful briefing.

***

“… and finally Iron Shield and Midnight Moon will be leading this part of the operation as they’re faces are not yet known by the enemy and cannot be linked back to ESS, they are your team leaders for the majority of this operation. My sister, Princess Luna will be mission support and will always be patched in to what is happening, so she can report your progress to me. That’s seems to be all, any questions?” Celestia asked scanning the room for any raised hooves and sighed when she saw Derpy. “Did you get anything I just said Derpy?”

“I think so Princess. You want us to… get… some… umm… let me think… Aha… no that’s not it… um… milk?” Derpy replied completely losing everypony in the room.

Spitfire and Vinyl facehoofed in perfect unison…

‘…By Celestia’s mane does coherency just seem to completely evade her…’ Iron thought to himself.

… Celestia just smiled and gave her reply with a soothing calmness “Derpy I think you should ask your teammates when the time comes, which reminds me Iron Shield and Midnight Moon you are required at Q-branch in ten hours to receive your mission kits. Yes you can go home and rest before you go” Celestia said answering an unspoken question.

“Thank you your majesty. If you excuse us we’ll be off then” Iron said bowing before the Princess and walking out of the mess with Midnight shadowing him.

“Hey Iron! Wait up I want to talk to you about earlier” Midnight said running to catch up with him.

“Yes Midnight what is it?” Iron responded casually.

“I’ve never actually seen you move that fast before, what happened?” she asked.

Iron just shrugged his shoulders “I have no idea what happened, perhaps I might have been a ninja in a past life” he said mocking her.

“Oh ha, ha Iron! Very funny, but seriously when Derpy hit you your face suddenly went blank, your eyes became focused and your movements were extremely precise and calculated” Midnight said putting a hoof under his chin forcing him to look into her eyes “Why?” she said softly.

“I don’t know Midnight, I honestly don’t know why I did that” Iron replied the sincerity oozing from him.

Midnight decided to drop the topic as they found themselves at the entrance to the elevator again. Iron sighed and stepped into the box again accepting his fate in light of the fact that it couldn't be as terrifying to go up… he was wrong.

Iron arrived looking pale and about to vomit, “the horror” he said. The guards chortled softly and escorted Midnight and him to the castle entrance.

***

“Ahh… it’s good to be home… that briefing was sooo long. I sort of expected the Princess to go into detail but not that much detail… like explaining each of the enemy guard’s names, homes and hobbies” Iron said flopping onto the bed and sinking into its softness, but not for long.

“Hurrr! Midnight why’d you do that for?” Iron said as Midnight had pounced on top of him, pinning him to the bed.

“Remember what you promised me this morning” she said giving him one of her sexy slow smiles which gave away her intentions instantly.

“You know, I would say not now, but you’d do it anyway whether or not I wanted it or not” Iron said accepting the fact this was going to happen.

By Celestia if only she knew how much I want this, but I must keep up appearances, jolly good show old boy.

She beamed at him “See how much we know each other already” she finished by kissing him. Softly at first just brushing his lips but gradually launching into a full assault with her tongue in his mouth, as she collapsed on top of him, he thought…

…Oh the things I do for Equestria…

…To be continued

End Chapter 1

Author's Note

Argh finally done extended dialogue scenes really hurt my brain. So if the grammars horrible I do try to improve it. Not much action in this chapter but there will be in the next. Also there are RvB refs scattered variously throught the chapter see if you can find em all. Comment, Like, Favourite, Follow and do anything else I missed.

BTW Derpy = Caboose
Badass when angry dumb when not

Cya next chapter.