My Little Contra

by BoredBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Trixie, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1565

Something is attacking Equestria, And there's only one way to stop it. ...With a Spread Shot.

Something is attacking Equestria, And there's only one way to stop it. ...With a Spread Shot. Follow two trained warponies as they fight to protect all of Equestria from a threat that even Princess Celestia can't handle in this short guerrilla warfare epic.

Published 2011-09-26 06:50:26 UTC
Last updated 2011-09-26 06:27:59 UTC

My Little Contra

“Welcome to The Herd Corps!”

The booming voice bellowed over the furious noise of the rotor blades turning, shouting at two stern-faced ponies who were listening to the pony with a commanding voice.

“You two were called in because you’re the best of the best. And right now, Equestria NEEDS the best of the best OF THE BEST!! You two have went through HELL under my training program, And they have made you who you are now. You are fighters. You are killers! But most of all, YOU ARE WARRIORS! The enemy is fierce, unforgiving, unloving, and hungry for pony blood. You are here to feed them lead instead. Take no prisoners, Show no mercy, And kill every last one of them sons a’ bitches dead. Those are your orders, Now go out there and make Celestia proud!”

The two ponies look at one another and then back forward towards the now opening door of the helicopter. They braced themselves for their next task and stepped forward. Standing at the threshold, Overlooking the land below, They stood looking up into the great blue and then down towards the vast jungle below. Two ropes were tossed out by another pony for them to slide down to the ground with. They both took hold and slid down into a clearing in the midst of the jungle. As soon as they touched down, The helicopter took off into the distance, leaving them on their own. The first one looked onward at the scenery while the second one watched the helicopter leave them stranded.

“Ugh, Why did I have to be called out here again? This isn’t a place for The Great and Po-”
“Stop it, Trixie. I don’t like this any more than you do. But standing around complaining will get us killed. It says so in the “Guerrilla Warfare for Eggheads.” Besides, You’re the only other Unicorn that can do the kind of magic needed for this mission.”

Before the second pony can reply, However, A herd of ponies coated in red appeared out from every orifice on the landscape. Charging at the two ponies head on.

“Here they come!”

The first one, A lavender unicorn with dark blue mane and tail with a streak of purple and pink running down them, instantly began firing balls of magic from her horn towards the incoming enemy. The second one, Sporting a blue coat and blue-ish silver mane and tail, followed suit with a similar attack. Every pony that was hit by the balls of magical energy went down with a single hit. The two unicorns charged forward while taking down scores of charging ponies left and right. They soon entered the jungle itself, Suddenly taking fire from a different brand of the enemy.

“Snipers!”

They both dodged and weaved through the incoming barrage of magical death while firing back at their new targets. Taking quite a bit of them out on their way through the jungle. They soon came upon a wall decorated with turrets built into the frame and snipers perched on the roof. They simply looked at the sight for a mere moment before pelting the wall with magical unicorn bullets. After dealing with the snipers and the turrets, They focused on a round spot on the lower center of the wall. It shortly exploded to reveal a passage way into a base of sorts. Without a moment’s hesitation, They charge headlong into the newly made opening. They quickly found themselves charging down a hallway and shooting down several legions of enemies until they arrive at a door. They quickly shoot it down and enter. They immediately find themselves staring at a behemoth of a creature, It was green with two whip-like arms protruding from it’s body.

“Let’s Rock!”
“...Please tell The Great and Powerful Trixie you did not just say that.”

Before the two could continue to bicker, The creature shot fireballs at them. They narrowly dodged the attack and retaliated. They soon found that their attacks weren’t working very well.

“Ugh! Just blow up already, You ugly fiend!”
“There must be a weak spot somewhere.”

The two look at one another and then nod before turning their attention back to the creature, their horns glowing in concentration.

“SPREADSHOT!”

The two unicorns then released a simultaneous blast, Each one firing eight balls of magical energy with a single shot. They then watch as the creatures arms blow off from the attack, The head still intact and letting out a loud roar of pain.

“That was it! Now, Trixie, Aim for the head!”

The two unicorns focused their now single shot attacks at the creature’s head and quickly made short work of it. It’s stomach then opened up like a sliding door, Revealing another path into what looked like a lair of some sort.

“I think this is it.”
“Thank Celestia, The Great and Powerful Trixie was growing tired of this land the moment she touched down.”

They charged in, Finding themselves facing a new series of enemies. Gray monsters that crawled around all over the place. They climbed the ceiling and dropped down upon them more than once, But never getting close enough to do anything more than alert the two. They also jumped up from the floor to ambush them, But the two unicorns still pushed forward. Taking down any that got in their way. They soon found themselves standing before a heart. They looked around for any sign of a threat, Only finding themselves surrounded by a sea of black amidst the presence of the heart.

“Be careful, Trixie. Anything can happen now.”
“Please! The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t need your-”

Suddenly, The ground opens up before them, A head jolting out to stand between them and the heart. Before the two can react, An arm comes out of the ground and smacks the blue unicorn away.

“Trixie!”

The lavender unicorn cries out as she watches her comrade soar into the darkness. She then turns back to the head, It’s gray features coated with a sickening smile and red eyes. Her eyes fixate on the head as she starts shooting at it. The arm now starts attacking her as she dodges it’s attempts to crush her. She sees it weakening a bit and starts charging up a single shot to finish it. Suddenly, She feels something clamp down around her whole being and lift her off the ground. She then realizes that she took too long to finish it off and got caught by it’s hand. She braces herself for what she assumes to be her end when a large ball of energy hits the giant head, Exploding on impact and destroying it entirely. As she rolls around after being let go, She turns back to find Trixie managing to keep herself standing by willpower alone.

“Trixie, You’re okay!”
“Of course! I am The Great and Powerful Trixie!”
The two then turn to the now unprotected heart. Their horns slowly glowing more and more brightly as they charged up for a collective strike to destroy it for good.

“So, Do you have any lame one-liners for this moment?”
“...Just one...GAME OVER!”

The two then release the attack upon the heart, A bright light illuminating the huge room as a beam hits the heart and annihilates it completely. Afterwards, The two head back to the clearing where they were first dropped off by helicopter and find their helicopter already there and waiting, They hop on board and enjoy a flight back to HQ. Or rather, A flight back to Canterlot, Now that the war was over.

“Good work, My Little Ponies. You’ve done all of Equestria a great service and single-hoofedly put a stop to a major threat. No doubt you’re quite tired from the ordeal and would like a rest?”

“That’s okay, Princess Celestia. I’m just glad that it’s all over with.”
“And I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, would be glad to receive her compensation for this battle.”

“Of course, Trixie, You’ve earned it.”

“Also, The Great and Powerful Trixie would like her own theater where all will come and marvel at her spectacular feats of magic.”
“Uh, Trixie?”
“And an entourage to match The Great and Powerful Trixie’s greatness.”
“Trixie.”
“And further more, I-”
“Trixie!”
“Will you stop that, The Great and Powerful Trixie is not-”

“Hey, Trixie!”

Trixie jumped from her seat and looked around, She found that she was in a dressing room of sorts. She was seated in front of a vanity with a mirror. She turned to the pony who shouted at her to find with was a burly colt who appeared quite annoyed.

“You’re on in 2, Hurry up and get ready!”

The colt then slammed the door shut with a loud bang. Leaving Trixie quite perplexed. Had she fallen asleep before an act and dreamt about the whole ordeal?
“Well, I never... How could I have been so tired as to fall asleep before an act? ...And who was that lavender mare I saw? No matter, I’ve an act to perform, And The Great and Powerful Trixie shall perform at her best!”

She then trotted out the door to her performance. The now vague memory of her dream placed far away from her thoughts as she readied herself to dazzle the ponies of Manehattan.

THE END

~ Inspired by Boredom