Lifeblooms

As the train pulls to a stop at Ponyville train station I have a choice to make. I could get up calmly and walk to the exit in a dignified manor, head in the air proudly displaying the thin scars across my throat. That’s probably the best choice seeing as I’m in the presence of royalty and all. That’s right, I’ll just get up with elegance; there’s no need to even consider the other options because they are clearly inferior. Unfortunately it seems my legs didn’t get the memo, so my graceful exit looked a lot like a joyous squeal and a mad dash from the cramped train car, Bastion at my heals. The feeling of my hooves on the Ponyville train station, and the old but familiar sent of my home forces a grin onto my face. I find it hard to care much about my childish exit with so much nostalgia all around me. The crisp early morning fog providing a perfect atmosphere for remembering better times.

Living on a farm meant getting up before the sun was normal, especially around harvest season. I can almost see the morning fog hanging thick across Sweet Apple Acres. Dew covered grass leaves my hooves wet as I walk through the familiar rows of apple trees. The muffling fog and the early morning leave the world more silent than any other time, and after a minute of walking I can’t even see our old farm house anymore. The only things around me are just me and the apple trees stretching into the gray haze. I use to just walk until the morning sun scattered the fog as if it was never there.

The sound of Luna and Windswept stepping onto the train’s platform breaks me from my memories. That’s probably for the best anyway, those days are gone and they aren’t exactly coming back. I should really learn to move on; staying bitter isn’t good for anypony. Even if just being here is reopening old wounds…

“Where to Luna?” I ask in as chipper a voice as I can manage. With some luck she won’t notice anything’s wrong.

The train right must have been even worse for Luna than it was for me given her size. She gives a long stretch that is oddly reminiscent of a cat, before answering my question. “Well Rarity is the one who sent me the letter, so her house probably. Unless there is somewhere you would like to stop by first.”

I pause, thinking of everything I remember about my home town. Is there anything I want to do here before meeting Rarity? Sitting here like this I notice something, I feel good. No that’s not quite right, my back hurts from sitting so long and my legs still need a good stretch. I feel... powerful. Yes that’s it I feel like I could take Rainbow Dash in a race and win, like I could take on the world. It takes me another minute to figure out why.  It’s the Everfree forest and Sweet Apple Acres; I’ve never been so close to this much nature but I can feel the raw magic oozing from that side of town. In all honesty it’s a bit intoxicating, like I’m getting high on life. “I think I have somewhere I’d like to stop by before we go see Rarity.” I say, getting to my hooves.

The gentle sway of my sister’s element is as reassuring as the family orchards gentle pulsing. No I guess that’s wrong isn’t it, I suppose bother the element and the orchard belong to me now. That’s going to take some getting used to. From this distance I can’t make out what the trees are saying, but the welcoming feeling comes across clear as day. It helps clear away my darkening mood, and puts a bit more spring in my step as a make my way towards the edge of town. The happy background chatter of grass enjoying the morning dew helps to take my mind of just where it is I’m headed. Bastions silent as usual but I can feel the soft reassurance coming from her. It’s surprising how quickly having the large wolf by my side became normal. Being a tree she doesn’t talk much, but then again she doesn’t have to. At first it was odd being so close to another and I would often close the link that conveys emotions between us. Now though I feel oddly alone with it closed, like I’m missing a part of myself. Perhaps this should worry me more than it does, but I find it hard to find the time to worry with how fast my life has been going. Only time will tell if that’s a good thing I suppose.

The graveyard sits at the top of a hill overlooking Whitetail Woods. The low stone wall that rings it is more to mark the edges of the graveyard than to keep ponies out. Luna and Windswept say nothing, but I’m thankful they don’t pass the entrance. This isn’t a particularly large graveyard, and I don’t have any trouble finding my way. The Apple family is the oldest on in town, our graves stand in the back of the graveyard below an old willow tree. Passing stone after stone I can’t help but wonder, not for the first time what they must have been like. My thoughts grow ever darker as I pass grave after grave, but the gentile happy chatter of the grass keeps me from slipping too far. Grass is always the same no matter where it grows. I come to a stop in front of the great willow tree that stand over me family’s graves. “Do you know where Granny Smith, Big Macintosh, and Applejack are buried?” My voice comes out just above a whisper, the fog only adding to the stillness in the air. Even the grass stopped there endless chatter, probably surprised I’m talking to the willow.

‘It has been a long time sense I last saw you young Apple, it is rare to see one who listens to nature like you ancestors did. The old tree has an almost wistful tone when speaking of the past.  As for you question, yes I know where your kin are laid to rest little Apple.’ The willow pauses when Bastion comes up behind me on silent paws, only to sit down at the base of the massive tree. ‘Fourth grave on your right belongs to Lady Smith. Two down from that are her grandson and granddaughter. I am glad to see you came; Lady Smith will surely rest easy knowing you are safe.’  The old willow had sad reverence in his voice when speaking of Granny.

“How do you know my Granny Smith?” It’s odd to see a tree speak so kindly about anypony unless they knew them very well. The grass murmurs in hushed whispers but I ignore them, I’m waiting for the willow to respond.

When the he does respond I can tell he’s lost in a memory, ‘Lady Smith planted me here when her grandfather passed away.’ I know there’s more to that story, but the willow doesn’t seem as if he will elaborate upon it.

“Thank you” I say, my voice growing thick with emotions I didn’t think would slip out so soon. My heavy hooves carry me the few steps to stand before my grandmothers grave, I can almost see her gentle smile as she rocks back in her old chair. “I’m home grandma,” I say with a shaky voice. “These blind eyes make it hard to build things like I use to, but I still manage to get into trouble.” I half laugh half sob, “I know I didn’t take care of the farm like you would have wanted, instead I ran to another country and wormed my way into a school for shamans. I know you didn’t expect me to become a shaman, b-but I hope you’re still proud of me.” Tracing my hoof over the pie carved into her headstone I force a small smile for my grandmother before walking further down the row of graves. Passing two which must belong to my parents feel as though I should stop, but I don’t. Mother and father both died before I got a chance to know them. In truth I only know their faces from pictures in the old farm house. Pictures that are gone now. It’s hard to miss what you’ve never known so I walk right past them.

Stopping at the third down, tracing my brother’s half apple carved into the stone. “Hey Big Mac,” I start and my voice cracks. I can almost see my brother’s gentle smile as he waits for me to go on. His quiet patience was what I mimicked when I learned to talk to plants. To this day I don’t know if he could hear them himself, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Swallowing I continue, “I know you would disapprove of my reckless behavior. Running off to a faraway land and binding my soul to a tree with forbidden magic sounds bad when you say it out loud. And maybe I did do it all for the wrong reasons, but I won’t say I regret it.” I let out a little laugh, even in the silence I feel like my brothers frowning at me. Not mad but concerned for me. “The willow tree just told me where to find your graves” I say as if that makes everything ok, “who else can say that?” Pressing my forehead to the cold stone helps to calm my nerves, and stop my shaking voice. “I hope you sleep well brother, I’ll be fine now so you don’t have to worry about me.” I exhale a shaky breath, and continue a bit more steadily. “Please rest in peace, for me. I’m home now; everything is going to be fine.”

A few steps later I’m at Applejacks grave. My shaking hooves don’t want to stand anymore, so I sit and lean on my sisters head stone. “I’m the Element of Honesty now,” I whisper, as if speaking it to loudly will make the necklace I still wear fade like fog in the sun. “Do you think I’m good enough to do it sis? If I’m honest I don’t know if I am.” My chest feels tight, and I’m glad I decided to sit or I might have fallen over. “Luna seems to think I can do it but I’m not as confident as her.” I let out a mirthless little laugh,” I don’t think I can even be around Twilight or Fluttershy without violence as I am now. I’m not you after all; you would have forgiven them in a moment. Sure you would have been angry, but inside I know you would have forgiven an honest mistake.” My throat is getting tight but I don’t stop. “Not me though, I make rash decisions and fall apart when things get hard. I know logically that I shouldn’t be this angry, it’s not like they wanted any of this to happen. Still when I think of them I get this…” I trail off looking for a way to describe my feelings. “Perhaps I’m not nearly as together as you always were.  I’ve gotten good at pretending to be in control, but in truth I’m scared and barely getting by without you.” Hanging my head I trace small circles in the grass with a hoof. “I never learned how to actually be a great pony sis; I only know how to pretend. I don’t think that’s going to be enough.” Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves I lean further against my sister’s grave. For all the skill and power I’ve acquired I feel like a child sitting here. “Can I tell you a secret sis? In shamanism there a cost to every spell cast, most of the time its small and hardly noticeable if at all. But I bound my soul to a tree’s. I don’t think this is going to have a small cost.” I smile, “not that I wouldn’t do it again given the chance, but this cost might be too much for me.” Getting up I plant a light kiss on my sisters grave. “Be sure to save me a spot on the other side sis, I might be there sooner than planned.”

Walking back to the willow tree Elsrend’s voice echoes in the back of my head from years ago. ‘Remember Bloom, lesser shamanism doesn’t have a noticeable price to them. But every one of the greater shamanisms has a price that will be paid, one way or another. The elements do not serve us, and they will be paid for their work, no matter how kind the spirit. Spells too far beyond ones means can have dire consequences, do not forget that.’

Returning to Bastion who had been waiting at the willow tree I nod towards the exit. She gets back up on silent paws and we make our way out of the graveyard through the morning fog. I gently removed the Element of Honesty from around my neck and give it to Bastion for safe keeping. Her swallowing the necklace nearly gives me a heart attack, but she assures me it’s safe and sound in a hollow where her heart would be.

Luna and Windswept say nothing as we head back to Ponyville proper. Even the plants we pass say nothing; it seems they can read the mood better than most ponies. I’m glad for the quiet walk as it lets me organize my thoughts, and get my head back in order before we reach Rarity’s boutique. As we walk down the empty streets in the fog it occurs to me how little sound my companions make. It’s almost unnerving to be honest how Luna and Windswept are like ghosts to my right. Even my sensitive ears can’t pick up a sound from either, if not for my bracelets I would think they had left me. Bastion to my left is almost as noiseless, only she slight creak of her joints give her away as she walks. I can’t help but think I would never see her coming in the Everfree, good thing she’s my friend.

We make it to Rarity’s without incident. In fact I don’t think anypony is even awake in town, which I attribute to Luna even if she denies interfering with others sleep. Knocking I hear a muffled ‘coming’ from inside that doesn’t sound like how I remember Rarity. I raise an eyebrow at Luna but she says nothing. Shrugging I turn back to the door as it open to a small gasp. The beautiful pale green eyes framed by a light purple mane are staring right at me. Her gray coat so light it’s almost white goes well with the pen striped suit she’s currently wearing, must be a Rarity original if she’s wearing it but I didn’t think Rarity made suits. In any case Sweetie pulls off the look with ease; I’m a bit jealous. I, much like my sister, have never been comfortable in a dress but looking at Sweetie Bell I kind of want a suit now. Her voice breaks me from staring when she whispers, “Are you real?”

I could answer her, but then again that slacked jaw looks so funny on such a dignified face. I guess she’s a lot like her sister in that regard. So instead of saying anything I plant a light kiss on the stunned unicorn’s forehead before strolling past her into the boutique. “I come all the way here Rarity and you don’t even come to great me at the train station,” I yell as I pass Sweetie still shocked in the doorway. “I’m hurt.”

“If it isn’t the Bell of Hoofington,” Windswept says to Sweetie behind me. He must have better manners than me, waiting for an invitation in and all. Sweetie completely ignores him though; she’s still staring at me, standing in the middle of her sister’s boutique like I own the place.

“Applebloom?” she asks in disbelief.

I can’t blame her, I would like nothing more than to hug her and dance and sing and cry… but Rarity quite literally saved my life and I have to thank her for that first. I turn back towards her, putting on the most sincere smile I can manage. “I love you too Sweetie, and I’ve missed you but I have to thank your sister. She saved my life; it seems they frown on forbidden magic in Zebraca.”

“Is that what you did?” Rarity asks as she comes down the stairs. She looks as beautiful as ever, but her eyes reveal subtle the age her coat hides so well.

“Technically my friend Ellennara actually performed the spell. After all only a genius like her could pull such a thing off and not get me killed. Still I made her do it so it’s only right I took the fall, right?” I think I’m to chipper for such a serious topic, but I can’t keep the smile off my face being in the same room as Rarity and Sweetie.

“Wait! Kill you, what did this spell even do?” Sweetie asked with a bit of panic slipping into her voice.

I nod my head towards the open door, and the previously unnoticed wolf standing in it. “Bound my soul to her.” It’s a painfully blunt statement that doesn’t even begin to explain the how or why involved. It’s the type of statement that leads ponies to making brash decisions without all the information. I really shouldn’t say such things and expect everypony to calmly wait for an explanation…

I never fully appreciated the skill it must take for Rarity to reverse teleport her fainting couch whilst fainting. She pulls it off with grace though, in a motion so smooth even the glow of her horn could easily be missed if one wasn’t watching for it. Sweetie for her part gives out a startled yelp, jumps a foot in the air, and puts a dozen of her sister’s gems deep into the bark of Bastions face. I may have given my own, extremely dignified shout of alarm at the sight of a dozen gems coming straight at my face. I in no way ducked my head below my hooves shouting a combination of zebra and gryphon profanity, and anypony who says differently is lying. Bastion on the other hoof hardy seemed to notice the projectiles and doesn’t even flinch. I guess being stationary for most of your life you don’t even consider moving out of the way as an option.

“C-could you not do that please Sweetie?” I ask when I’m sure my voice won’t shake. “Her eyes are how I see now and you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

The well-dressed unicorn seems more shocked and confused than when I first arrived, but at least she sets down the hoof-full of gems shed grabbed for another attack. At some point during this little fiasco Rarity woke back up, and is now gently pulling the imbedded gems from Bastions face. She’s less panicky than I expected from her, and I’m starting to wonder if the couch was just a force of habit.

Giggling from behind me draws Bastions eyes to Windswept and Luna shaking in the corner of the room as they attempt to hide their laughter. I’m not completely sure when, or even how they managed to slip inside unnoticed. But considering their position I don’t bother asking questions. This must also be the first time ether of the sisters noticed the princess as both give hurried apologies and proper bows. I should probably bow more often as well now that I think about it, but it’s just so much work and I don’t think Luna cares much for ceremony.

“Please, there is no need for such formality amongst friends.” Luna says with a smile, clearly still trying to get her mirth under control. “I hope you don’t mind that me and captain Windswept here let ourselves in. You seemed excited to see little Bloom here again so we didn’t want to intrude.” Luna calmly walked right up to Bastion, touching her glowing horn to the great wolfs face to mend the damage the gems had done. The casual way the night princess acts around the wolf standing as tall as she does seems to put the Bell sisters more at ease. “Please be more kind to Bastion here as well. She is a gentle soul so long as you’re not playing with fire and means you no harm.” Patting the wolf, Luna turns and takes a seat on a nearby couch.

‘I am sorry for scaring your friend’s m’lady.’ Bastion whispers in my head. Id almost forgotten she could do that because of how rarely she’s spoken. I suppose trees don’t talk a lot, and given she didn’t have many other plants to talk to it makes sense she would be more reserved.

“You seem uncomfortable Bastion. Would you feel better at the orchard?”

The great wolf shuffles nervously from paw to paw. ‘I do miss the earth beneath me m’lady, but you need me to see.’

“I’ve lived 9 years without my sight you silly little tree, I’ll live for a bit longer.” Turning to Luna I ask, “Can you teleport Bastion to my orchard, I’d rather not cause a panic the day I get back. I’ll talk to the mayor latter today and announce that me and Bastion are here, and relatively harmless.”

Luna smiles, and Bastion softly says, ‘thank you’ before the princesses’ horn begins to glow.

“Play nice,” I say with a grin, and she’s gone with the silent whoosh of air entering the newly formed empty space. Turning to face Rarity my smile acquires a touch of sadness, “so miss Rarity, I promised to answer all of your questions. What would you like to know?”

“What is with the wolf darling?” the worry is clear in her voice. It reminds me of the worried scolding’s the Crusaders and I would get after one of our thoughtless crusades. I can’t help how happy it makes me to know she can see more than just what’s changed.

“The ‘wolf’ is actually a tree, an old friend of mine who I recently bound to myself. You don’t have to worry about her though, she may look frightening but trust me she’s got all the blood lust of an old oak.” I can’t tell if this put her more or less at ease, but she doesn’t question me farther. Simply gives me a hug saying, “If you ever want to talk I’m here for you darling” before making her way to the kitchen for some tea.

Sweetie Bell on the other hoof simply stares at me. Bastion had frightened her into action, but with the wolf now gone she’s just looking at me. As if the slightest move on her part and ill disappear again like a mirage. Slowly I walk across the room to stand in front of her, so close I can smell her perfume. “Lilacs” I ask, my voice as soft as I can make it after the incident. “It fits you.”

“You’re not going to leave again are you?” Her voice is steady, but my bracelets show me the tears hitting the floor clear as day. Instead of answering I pull her into a hug, humming an old zebra lullaby Ellennara taught me as she cries into my coat. “Welcome home” she sobbed over and over again. I wish I could sing it for her, but even when we were fillies she was always the singer. At some point Luna and Windswept must have left, but I wasn’t paying them any mind. I simply sat on the floor of the boutique, holding Sweetie and humming lullabies I’ve learnt over the years.

Eventually the unicorn cried herself to sleep and Rarity gently lifts her onto the fainting couch, covering her with a blanket before leading me into the kitchen. “Thank you” Rarity says closing the kitchen door. “She needed that more than you know.”

“I did try to send letters over the years,” I say meekly. “Everypony’s just so famous I assume they got lost in the crowd. I never got a reply in any case.”

“You got the last one here just fine” Rarity says as she warms up a fresh pot of tea.

“Aye,” I say before catching myself. The old gryphons I use to drink with have rubbed off on me. If I’m not careful I start to sound like an old northern gryphon. “I mean yes, governments have a way of getting in touch with just about anypony.”

Rarity gives a nod before remembering I don’t have eyes and saying “yes, yes they do.”

Placing cup of tea on the table in front of me, before guiding my hoof to it with her magic makes me feel like a filly again. I can’t help but giggle at how gently Rarity maneuvers my hooves to the tea cup. “You do know I’m not made of glass right Miss Rarity, I won’t break and I’m not completely helpless.” Her apology is a bit too proper, even for her. I offer a grin to the embarrassed mare, and I think it helps. “So, what’s Pinkie got planned?” I ask.

“How do you know about Pinkies party?”

“Rarity please, I may have been gone for a long time but I haven’t forgotten Pinkie. I have no doubt she knows I’m here. In all honesty I’m surprised there wasn’t a banner waiting for me at the train station.” On a whim I lift the tea cup, then the saucer. Finally I find what I’m looking for at the bottom of the fruit basket under the bananas; a fresh, warm cupcake with a single lit candle on top. Rarity, clearly long past the point of being surprised at Pinkies antics, only sighing at this.

“Would it kill that girl to just show up and give you a cupcake like a normal pony?” Rarity asks. I’d like to answer her, but I’m too busy savoring the best cupcake I’ve had in years.

“Possibly,” I finally manage after finishing the gift. “It is Pinky so you never know.” A less than dignified snort is the only response I get from Rarity. “Say Rares, why did the captain call Sweetie ‘the Bell of Hoofington’?” She winces at this, and I mentally scold myself for being so thoughtless.

“That’s something you’ll have to ask Sweetie,” Rarity says cryptically. Though I can tell from her tone there’s a whole lot more to this than she’s telling me. As much as I’d like to press her for information I don’t, if she doesn’t want to tell me that’s her choice.

Shrugging I take another sip of my tea to stall for time while I think of something to say. I normally don’t mind awkward silences much, it’s not like I ever have that moment where nopony knows what to look at. But I can feel Rarity looking at me, and her keen eyes seem to look too deeply. “So, when’s the party?” I’m grasping at straws here and I hope it doesn’t show on my face.

“Was your coat always that color?” She asks, completely ignoring my question.

“Yes…?” After a while you don’t really need eyes to tell when someponys giving you a deadpan look. It’s the little things like the subtle movement of the head that give it away, and Rarity with all her dramatics is easier to read than most ponies. “Don’t give me that look. It’s not like I’ve seen a mirror recently, how am I supposed to know what my coat normally looks like?” She flinches back at my tone, and my ears droop in shame. That came out much harsher than I had intended.  “I’m sorry,” I murmur.

“It’s all right dear,” she says kindly, but that only makes me feel worse. I owe a lot to Rarity. Sitting in this room, in this town with the past all around me I find myself closing up again.

We are both silent for a time, unsure of what to say to each other. Reaching the bottom of my cup I scrounge up the courage to ask her, “Was it nice? The funeral I mean, you made sure I was nice didn’t you?”

“Yes,” she answers. This time though I can hear the age in her voice. For the first time I can remember she lets the weight of her thoughts play out across her voice. “It was the most beautiful event I’ve ever done.”

I always knew it would be, knew Rarity would send her friends off with grace. Still it felt good to hear her say it. “Thank you,” I tell her as she refills my cup of tea.

We sit like this for another hour or so. Waiting in a comfortable silence for the sun to come up, for the day to start, and for whatever Pinkie has planned to begin.