I always loved these shining spring mornings where it wasn’t too hot or too cold to fly around like the hotrod I am. There was always that fresh breeze and the warm sun to enjoy, but above all that, it was the time when the Wonderbolt Flying Exams took place. Some ponies like Twilight were spending this past week doing stuff like binomial distribution problems on their boring old school exams (blech!) but the awesome ones spent these days working hard to become the next Wonderbolts! Of course, if I took part in them, I would pretty much outdo everyone else, so I dropped out to give them a chance. So now I just sit back, relax and watch ‘em to their thing for the judges. What an awesome way to spend the day! Only the best of the best would be able to impress Spitfire and the rest of the judges.
Oh Spitfire… you and your luscious golden mane and dazzling hazel eyes. You’re distracting me from watching the flying exams. Not that I really care, anyway. You’re probably what I really came here to watch in the first place. I wish it was a bit hotter so her curves would shine a bit more… Several contestants did a few flips as they took out a cloud. Even more sun to shine on her mane…incredible. Guess I’ll go down there for a bit and talk to her.
“Hey Spit!” I said, confidently. I hadn’t talked with her since I left the Academy.
“Oh, hey. Rainbow Dash, right?” she replied in her angelic voice.
“Of course that’s me! Uh, how are they doing?”
“Some are fine, but some are doing really bad.”
What a confident, assertive pony. Like me. No sugarcoating, nothing. What more could I ask for?
“I just came here to watch a bit, you know, to see which ones are gonna pass and which ones won’t,” I told her.
“Ugh”, she replied. “Just try doing this judging all day, like I am!” She chuckled.
Oh, I’d do something else all day…or someONE, I thought to myself.
She flicked her mane like they do in those cheesy slow motion movie scenes. What a freaking sight!
“Hey, Dash, you look a bit parched. Your tongue’s drooping out!”
Yes, it is, Spit, I thought. If only she really knew why.
“Oh, uh, yeah. I’m feeling pretty hot!” I replied.
“Go get some water from inside, then.” She said. “Oh, and some for me, too!”
“Sure thing!” So I went and got two cups of water. Anything for that goddess.
“Thanks, Dash! I owe you one!” She petted my mane back. Don’t get a wingboner…don’t get a wingboner… I drank my water, hoping it’ll calm me down, but then she poured her water all over herself. So much for no wingboner.
“So much better!” said Spitfire in that sexy voice. Now her curves really did shine. I couldn’t let her see how red my face was getting. So I turned. Besides, I got the view I came for.
“Hey, I gotta, actually, go to, uh, help out someone. See ya, Spit!” I squealed.
“Going so soon? The winners are about to be announced!” she replied.
“Yup. Going, bye!” I said, quickly. I could feel how red I was.
“Alright then, Dash”
I looked back a few hundred yards away and saw Cloudchaser getting the ‘Top Wonderbolt Trainee” medal, and Spitfire patted her mane. For some reason, I felt rage. Oh well. Next time I’ll try to hold a bit of my cool. Maybe see if she wants to be a bit more than friends. How awesome would that be? Does she even have a partner? I don’t think so. Eh, even that wouldn’t stop an irresistible pony like me from lying with that even more irresistible golden mare. Even the chilling evening couldn’t cool down my feelings for her.
I couldn’t wait, and could hardly sleep, until the next morning. Today was the award ceremony for the Wonderbolt Exam. The winners would join the Wonderbolts next year. It really takes a lot to impress Spitfire to join her team. But I didn’t need that exam to woo her. At the ceremony, I decided I would finally try to take it to the next step with Spitfire.
I sat at one of the chairs in the audience. After eferyone sat down, they began. So boring… I only cared about the mare announcing who won. Flitter came in third, Lightning Dust in second, and, like I saw yesterday, Spitfire awarded Cloudchaser the First Prize. It was irritating to see all that attention on Cloudchaser, but I was able to calm down quickly. I want Spitfire’s attention. I doubt Cloudchaser even cares about her.
Finally, the ceremony ended and I dashed excitedly to the backstage entrance to try and talk to Spitfire., and bring my feelings out to her. I rushed to the doors, but the guards stopped me.
“Sorry, miss. Ms. Spitfire’s only seeing the winners today.”
“But I just want to-
“Nope, come back later.”
I felt hopelessly rejected, and a bit more of that rage came back. Still, I just walked away solemnly. I sighed…
I guess next time will be the charm. Maybe I’ll also give her a special gift! Not chocolates, though. That’s overdone to death and she’s too cool for that. Oh! I know! I knew exactly what was cool enough to be in her glorious possession, but also personal enough to remind her of me. Then for sure we’ll get together!
On the way home, I saw Cloudchaser pass me.
“Hey, Rainbow Dash! Check out my First Place Wonderbolts prize! Now I’ll get to fly with Spitfire and the rest!”
“Yeah. Great,” I replied. She didn’t pick up the sarcasm, though I wish she did. I wanted that smirk off her face.
“Yeah, I’m so proud of myself! Although I hope my friends don’t get jealous! Not everyone gets such an honour!” she boasted.
“No kidding.”
“Yeah, But what to know a huge secret, Rainbow Dash?” Cloudchaser asked me. “It’s a bit embarrassing, but… I really only tried to win because I have a secret crush on Spitfire. Don’t tell anyone! Maybe with this prize I can get closer with her. She is cute, isn’t she, Rainbow?”
I lost it. I grabbed her neck.
“Argh! What (gasp) are you doing? Get off of me, you psycho!” she yelled.
I grabbed tighter and pinned her to the ground behind the bushes. Her little chokes made me chuckle. “Nobody gets Spitfire but me!” I said, in a strained voice.
She turned a deeper purple than usual.
“He-e-lp,” she barely muttered.
“Nobody can hear you, and you’re not going to get in my way of getting Spitfire!"
Her eyes were beginning to roll back, so I eased off just a bit.
“You lunatic…” she rasped.
I stomped my hoof down, enjoying the loud snapping noise under it. I laughed, knowing my path to Spitfire was now without any barriers. I was the best. I laughed some more.
The next morning, it was colder than usual. Maybe now I won’t get so red when talking to Spitfire. Today was the day I would ask her out. I got the gift and I left for the Academy. No pesky interferences today. Awesome. I passed over some ambulances and police cars. They looked panicked. I guess they were checking out Cloudchaser’s body from yesterday. Clueless idiots.
I flew down to the main door of the Academy and soon found Spitfire’s office. I gulped. Ugh, I was so nervous. Would she like my gift? Does my mane look alright? What about –no- what if – oh! Okay, calm down, Dash. You can do this. I knocked.
The gorgeous golden mare opened the door.
“Oh, Hey Dash! Interesting time to see you!”
She didn’t have her uniform on. Oh man. Don’t turn red. I couldn’t help my wings raising.
“Yeah, I like to see you – UH, I MEAN – Yeah! Interesting to see you, too!" I jabbered.
How stupid and awkward. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Uhh, okay… I was still waiting to sign off a few things with Cloudchaser. I wonder where she is? Oh well. Anyway… what brings you here today, Dash?” she asked.
“Listen,” I replied. “I, uh, wanted to get something off my chest. You know how I’ve always admired you, Spit? Well, I REALLY do, and – well, REALLY. In more ways than you’d think.”
“Ohhh. Oh… okay, heh, so that’s why you were looking at me like that the other day…” she said.
Smooth.
‘Well, I would like to ask if maybe you wanted to get together a bit, or more?” I asked, like an idiot.
“Oh. Uhhh. Well, Dash, I think you’re a great pony and all, but, uh, I'm not exactly on that team, if you know what I mean. You’re my friend Dash, and I don’t want that to change. It’d be best for both of us to stay as we are. Hey, kid, don’t look so down. It’s all gonna be good.”
But I wasn’t down. After all, I was smiling.
“Oh, but Spitfire, you don’t really seem to get it. I REALLY like you. Hehe… I mean, I got you a gift! It’s a ‘Dashknife,’ as I like to call it. It’s a knife in the shape of my lighting-bolt cutie mark! So you get a cool blade that will always remind you of your greatest lover, Rainbow Dash! Hahahaha! How cool is that?!”
Spitfire’s smile faded.
“Uh…thanks. It’s, uh, cool. I’ll put it right here on the table, like this. See? Now, uh, I’ve gotta go to my next class. So… see you.”
“You don’t have a class. It’s Sunday, You just want me gone. Why, Spitfire? I loved you. I really did. Oh, I REALLY did!”
“Dash, I think you need some rest. You don’t look too good.”
“I don’t look good, huh? HAHAHA! Rainbow Dash always looks good! Like you! Now let’e be together! We would both love it! Heh-he he HAHAHA!!"
“Now you’re really freaking me out. Seriously, you should leave.”
I picked up my knife.
“Don’t you love me, Spittie?! I always did you! Just look at this cool gift! Who else would ever love you in the same way? HA HA HAHAHAHA!! Here, take a closer look at how cool it is!” I lunged forward.
She pulled something greyish out of her desk.
“A gun?! Are you fucking kidding me, Spitfire?”
‘Get the fuck away! Who do you think you are?!” Even screaming, she sounded so hot.
I lunged forward again, knocking the gun out of her hand. I couldn’t control my laughter. Threatening me, Rainbow Dash, her lover? Hilarious.
“Argh!” She yelled, as I pinned her to the ground.
“We can be together right here, right now!” I said. “Nobody can stop us, not even your ‘team!’”
“You’re a psychopath!” She snarled.
I once again laughed. Then she reached for her gun. So I stabbed her arm, soaking in her screams. Her blood was warm.
“Don’t worry, soon we’ll both be together, forever! HahaHAHAHAHA!!”
Then I raised my knife from her arm, and I stabbed her in the chest, maybe about thirty or forty times. Her warm insides were soft, contrasting with her cool, hard personality.
Time to hold my end of the bargain. ‘Time to be together forever, Spitfire!” I muttered. I licked the knife. It had a bitter but sweet taste. Then, with one clean swipe, my throat opened up to meet even more of her soft and warm insides. I couldn’t laugh anymore; it was too painful. But it was worth it.
Now we’ll truly be together forever, I thought, as I fell one last time on top of her. Forever.
