Call of the Brony

by The_Candlekeeper

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Human
Length: 1274

Yeah, I've got no idea how I got in Equestria, nor how I'm telling you this tale. But I'm in Equestria now, where everything is so awesome!

Preliminary note:
Yes, I know that the HiE style story is overdone. But please bear with me; I've got a tale that will hopefully grab your interest and keep it.
The only HiE stories I've read are BronyWriter's, and I've read few other stories, so any plagiarism is purely coincidental.
Lastly, please keep all comments good, nothing N(ot)S(afe)F(or)W(oona).
Anyways:
You know, with how many stories I've read where somebody's magically transported to Equestria, I'm kinda surprised I haven't met a whole bunch of other humans. Well, I sure have ended up in Equestria somehow, and here's a message from Captain Obvious: It's cartoony here, and I have no idea how I got here. Hmm, maybe that second one isn't so obvious. Anyways, prepare to hear the coolest, awesomest, truest story of a human in Equestria, as told by, you guessed it, me! Oh, and that old, terrible intro that told nothing about the story? I blame gremlins. Gremlin ponies? Anyways, here is my tale, and I'm off to fix the fourth wall.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-21 05:50:03 UTC

Cold Reception [Enhanced Edition]

   I was a pretty normal guy. Loving family, great friends, comfortable lifestyle, blah blah blah, that sorta thing. But you didn't come to hear about my boring human life, did you? Of course not. Now, get ready to hear my epic adventure, an awesome adventure of friendship, magic, the magic of friendship, and awesomeness. Hmm, maybe Rainbow's starting to rub off on me...

    I had hooves.

   I had little idea as to what had happened to me, but I saw that I was in a snowy land with bare trees all about. I also knew that last time I checked, I was going to bed, and it was spring. And it wasn't cold and snowy.   But here, it is. Cold, I mean.  Oh, and I have hooves. That was quite more significant, all things considered. I was lying down on my stomach when I awoke, quite confused about the wintry land I was in. "How did I get here?" I mused. Scratching my head, I realized that I didn't have any fingers! I had hooves, in case you haven't figured it out yet.

   I was quite dizzy. I tried to stand, but I just stumbled. The stumble (followed by my head colliding with a rock on the ground) brought me to my senses. I was a pony. And, looking about, I saw that everything was quite cartoony. That could only mean one thing.

   I was taking a surprise visit to Equestria. Of course, it was some sort of dream, right? That had to be the explanation. And I was in a dream about being a pony in Equestria, I was determined to enjoy the dream. With my situation established, I got up on all four hooves this time (earlier, I had tried only my hind legs). Now THAT felt strange. Imagine yourself bending forward, your arms being moved to the front of your chest, having shorter arms and legs, and you don't have to tilt you head to look ahead. Yeah, it felt weird as it sounds. Not to mention that the "arms" had no fingers and were a bit thicker, my head was bigger, and I had no toes. Anyways, I shouldn't expect to get used to it-this was, of course, a dream.

   I looked about with my newly big head. Snow, snow everywhere. Also, there were bare trees evenly spaced all about, and a rainbow suddenly appearing with a whoosh above my head. It didn't take me long to connect the dots-I was in Sweet Apple Acres, wintertime.

   Knowing that the rainbow would obviously lead to Dash, I began galloping in the direction the rainbow was spreading, since even if I couldn't get to her, she had to be going somewhere, and that somewhere was probably Ponyville. Correction, I tried to gallop in that direction, but again, my quadroped-ness was alien, so I stumbled. But one stumble wouldn't bring this guy down! Getting up again slowly, I tried trotting instead. Fortunately, I was able to slowly gain speed from there, and I was at a half-gallop soon.

   Suddenly, though, I stopped. It was then that I realized that since I've never been to Ponyville before, somepony would get inquisitive. I needed a background. I looked at my hoof. If hooves were anything to go by for color (hint: they probably are), I was crimson, streaked with deep blue. What should I call myself? Lightning? Already taken... Flame? Not cool enough... Blitz? Now that's cool! Now, where should I say I come from? I'm not high-class enough for Canterlot... too un-crystal for the Crystal Empire... Not cowboy-ish enough for Appleloosa... Maybe I should figure that out later.

   At the moment, I decided to look about. That was quite fortunate, for I was right about to gallop (or should I say, half-gallop. More like a fast trot actually.) right into a barn. I was currently right behind the barn, and I noted that besides the usual snow, snow, and more snow I've been seeing all over, there were some snow PLOWS all about. But, I wondered, why were they outside and not in the barn? I connected the dots - winter right now, snow plows all over the place, probably so they could be used soon, it dawned on me- it was almost time for Winter Wrap Up.

   There was no way I could hide anywhere near Ponyville without being seen-after all, they had to remove every bit of snow. Plus, I hadn't figured out my 'pony background' yet. I couldn't go far from Ponyville alone, with Timberwolves and Hydras and such all about, so I needed to hide, somehow...

   Aha! Pinkie Pie! She keeps secrets seriously, probably so that she doesn't lose any friends. If it was almost time for Winter Wrap Up, she's probably getting skates ready or something for the ice skating. Point is, she's probably near a lake. But where exactly?

   Fortunately, my task of finding Pinkie quickly became obsolete as I saw her hop towards and into the barn. Moments later, both Pinkie and Applejack came out of the barn, chatting. This was no good; I needed to talk to Pinkie alone! But, as I noticed several buckets full of packets of seeds, a plan formed in my head...

In the Frozen North...

   "Why do we have to do this? We've been looking for hours!"

   "Hey, you well know how important this is! If we find it, she'll hold us in higher regard, probably!"

   "You know how she is, - wait what is this?"

   "Yes! You found it! Finally, after digging around in the snow for hours!"

   "Yeah, let's go bring it to her!"

   I quickly stacked the buckets, which was no easy task. For the first few, I simply had to carry the bucket's handle in my mouth, but it became quite harder when I had to stack the higher ones, as I had to stand on my hind legs. After all, I was a quadruped now, and quadrupeds aren't exactly built for standing on two legs. Plus, I had to work quickly, because Applejack and Pinkie were walking away. However, a delicate job and a hasty job do not mix, as evidenced by me suddenly stumbling, knocking over all the buckets! Of course, that created quite a racket, just as I planned, but I hadn't planned to be sprawled out on top of the fallen cans. I got up faster than Applejack said, "Huh? Is that you, Rainbow?" I quickly ran around the barn, and seeing that Applejack had gone to investigate, Pinkie was alone on the path. I quickly tackled her, rolling into some trees.

   I quickly shushed Pinkie, but just as she started to nod, I heard, "What's goin' on here?" from behind. I quickly switched to Plan B. I ran.

   I was pretty amazed at how fast I was running, seeing that I was, y'know, a pony now.  "Wait a minute! I'm no good at galloping quickly yet!" I suddenly realized. With my ebb of faith, I stumbled, rolled forward a bit, and crashed into somepony.

   "Uh... sorry..." I quickly stammered as I got up. "Are you ok?" There were papers floating all over the place, slowly settling on the snow.

   "Ow..." was the reply I got from the pony that was lying on the ground. Having got up, I looked at whom I crashed into. And of all ponies to crash into, I just HAD to crash into this one. Having seen who she was,  I gasped.