Overreacting and The Stupidity that Follows Suit
Let’s meet Todd and Anthony. They were just two bronies sitting in front of out laptops, chatting over Skype, or whatever people use to speak with strangers and friends they met over the Internet. They’d often jump from subject to subject, always pony related. They discussed anything pony, they practically lived, breathed, and ate pony. I’d continue talking about this, but you probably understand already that they are bronies and you’re hoping for me to stop talking about how big bronies they are. Let’s just get on with the story already…
Today was like no other… or was it? Todd had brought up the age-old question “Who was best pony?” Todd had answered with his all-time favorite pony, Octavia, and begun why she was just so great.
“She’s part of the best ship in the entire community. The fanfictions she takes role in are amazing, surpassing many other fics I’ve read….” Todd rambled on about Octavia as it fell on the deaf ears of his friend. Once Todd finally ended his praise for the classical pony, Anthony finally got his chance to speak.
“Well, in my opinion, the best pony in the show is Luna. She has a great design; her mane looks like the stars themselves. Her very character is the perfect combination of depth, complexity, and overall character development…” Anthony going into fine detail over every point stated, finally stopping to take a breath, Todd got him to stop.
“You know Anthony, I read something about Luna earlier you might want to read about. Todd said to his comrade.
Todd linked Anthony to the page that read “Luna gets no more episodes after season three and is given design change”
Anthony opened the page to be greeted by the horrifying image…
He let out a gasp loud enough to be heard across the Earth itself, earning a laugh from his friend. Anthony wore a feral grin as he ran off camera. Something was clearly about to go down, and Todd had no idea what it was. He could hear what sounded like a wire being scratched by a key. Within seconds, what looked like a blue police call box appeared in front of Todd, leaving him in bewilderment and wonder. The doors to the box opened and out stepped Anthony, breathing heavily as if he had just ran a marathon.
“Anthony, how did you get here and why do you have a police box?” Todd shakily said.
“No time to explain, get in the TARDIS!” Anthony yelled at his friend only sitting feet away from him.
They both entered the TARDIS leaving Todd in shock and awe while Anthony ran around the control deck entering in a location.
“Anthony, why do you have a TARDIS? Where are we going and what are you going to do when you get there?” Todd had to ask as that feral grin once again took over his friend’s face.
“Todd I have a lot to explain. Firstly, the TARDIS is mine; by the way I’m a Time Lord. We’re going to Equestria right now to kill Celestia to prevent the horrific events that are to happen to Luna. I don’t know how we’re going to kill and immortal, but if bullets can’t then nothing will.” Anthony said as he pulled out an array of guns and weapons. Todd could only respond with his mouth agape. It all felt like a dream to him, but somewhere he knew this was reality. He knew why Anthony was doing this and he wanted to help, but he was filled with too many questions to actually respond to anything his friend was saying.
The TARDIS finally stopped wheezing and groaning as we had somehow reached Equestria. Anthony opened the door as he held a sheet of paper and a M1911A1 .45 caliber handgun, ready to stop anyone in his way. We stepped out to be greeted by guardsponies waving spears and whatnot at us.
“Who are you? Why are you here?” The guard barked at us.
“I’m looking for Celestia, I’m here to ‘talk’ to her about something of importance…” Anthony irritably spoke back.
“If you wish for audience with the princess, follow us.” The guard said as he led them both to the throne room.
“Well, thank you for escorting us here. You ponies have worked hard, and have now fulfilled your roles. Now you die!” Anthony exclaimed as he fired off his handgun, killing the guards who escorted them.
“Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Todd shouted out.
Anthony, smiling as he finished his deed, answered Todd “It’s going to make killing Celestia a whole lot easier without guards protecting her. Luna will be saved from her mutilation, even if I must die for her.”
Todd couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Where was the Anthony Todd had known? He wanted his friend back, but something told Todd that Anthony was long gone. Todd had to think of something fast to stop the madness that was about to take place.
The throne room doors crashed open as Anthony sprinted inside to meet his target. “CELESTIA!!!” Anthony came face to face with the solar princess herself presenting the paper he had brought along with him. “What do you have to explain for this!?” He barked. Celestia was in shock over what had just happened and now come back to reality, as Anthony leveled his handgun to her head.
Celestia calmed down as she began to speak with Anthony “My dear human, I see you’re enraged over whatever is on this parchment you’ve presented me with.” She levitated the paper to her and studied it. She dropped it to the floor as Todd finally saw what it was, the picture he showed Anthony of Luna. “Oh! Is that all? Yes, many people are displeasured with Luna changing her look, but you must understand that I have nothing to do with it.” Celestia finished as the anger flushed from Anthony’s face.
“If you have nothing to do with this, then who? Celestia, you’re the princess which would put you in the authority of what happens in the world right?” Anthony said as he lowered his gun from the monarch’s head.
“Human, though I may be a princess, I am not given control over what happens to the appearance to ponies. If you’re looking for the culprit, ask yourself, who created the show?” Celestia asked.
“You don’t mean...” Todd nodded as he reached Anthony who posed the question.
“Yes Anthony, your problem was never with Celestia, but with Hasbro.” Todd finally said. “Celestia, how do you feel about Luna’s change?”
Celestia tapped her hoof to her muzzle as she thought. Within seconds she answered “To be honest with you, I dislike more than she does and would love to keep Luna the way she is.”
“Celestia, I think you could help us with something. Could you gather as many ponies as possible in the next hour or so?” Todd and Anthony asked the goddess.
“I think it’s time we exacted our revenge on Hasbro, what do you say humans?” Celestia said as she hurriedly rushed for the TARDIS.
“Well Anthony, I think it’s time for us to go to Hasbro.” Todd said.
Within fifteen minutes an small army of thirty ponies, including ponies such as the Elements of Harmony, Doctor Whooves and
Lyra Heartsrings, assembled outside Anthony’s TARDIS. Just before the battle began, Anthony and Todd needed to boost morale for what was to come. Todd pointed at Lyra “What is your profession?”
“I’m a musician sir.” Lyra said.
“And you, Applejack? What is your profession?” Anthony continued.
“Apple Farmer sir.” Applejack responded.
“And you?” Todd said, now pointing at Spitfire
“Wonderbolt.” Spitfire said back.
“Ponies! What is your profession!?” Anthony and Todd said in unison.
“WAR! WAR! WAR!” The pony army said together.
The TARDIS doors opened as Anthony stepped outside into an office building, not just any office building, Hasbro’s headquarters. Anthony said something to the receptionist “Miss, I’m here to ‘talk’ to your company about something important.” As he finished saying this, Anthony motioned to the poines in the TARDIS to come on out.
“Everyone…this is about to get messy!” Anthony and Todd said as they both loaded a magazine into their M16 rifles. As the ponies and humans readied for battle, the receptionist attempted to protect herself from what was about to happen.
After about a minute of waiting, Anthony howled “CHARGE!!!”
Author's Note
I hope you enjoyed reading my stupid idea. This was inspired by real life events... I think. Well, thanks for reading anyways!
