Discord's Bed Time

by Sylar14

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 1779

Discord persuades Celestia to read him a bed time story.

When Discord finds he is unable to sleep, he seeks help from Princess Celestia.
When she fails to give him a good bed time story, she pulls her one and only faithful student into the situation in hopes that she can help.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-02 10:50:01 UTC

The Beginning Of A Long Night

Discord sat on his bed. Or, what was supposed to be his bed. A quarter of the bed was an actual bed. Another quarter was what looked like the back of a sofa. The third quarter was a gurney. And the last quarter was a wooden coffee table.

Looking up to his cat clock, that nobody be he could tell time from, Discord sighed. "It's half passed noon-night!" He stood up. "I need some warm milk!" Snapping his fingers, he appeared in the castle's kitchen. "No!" He snapped his fingers again and popped up into the royal garden. "I need to have a stroll!" For a third time, he snapped his fingers. Which then brought him to the room of Princess Celestia. The walls were painted the colors of a sunrise, a lava lamp making it look like large globs were swimming across the walls.

Discord could see Celestia on her bed, orange blankets thrown lazily on top of her as she slept.

A pot and a kitchen spoon popped into each of Discrod's hands. "1..." He grinned, "2..." His smile grew, "3..." He began to bang the two objects together. "WAKEY WAKEY!"

Celestia shot out of bed, blinking rapidly and jolting her head from side to side in an attempt to find the source of the noise in only the light of the lava lamp. She growled as she saw Discord, marching the room with a tiny pony marching band behind him, banging drums and playing other loud instruments.

"What is it you need?" She snapped at the Draconequus.

Discord was suddenly beside her, all of the racket abruptly ceasing. Slithering onto the bed he wrapped his arms around her hair, smelling it. "I couldn't sleep." He coos, making a pouting face at the Princess.

Celestia gave him an incredulous look, mixed with obvious features of annoyance. "What do you want me to do about it?"

Discord seemed to think over this question, searching for an answer. A question mark appeared over his head and it swayed from side to side, a loud, "Tick, tock, tick, tock" sounding as it did so. Suddenly, -DING- the question mark turned into an exclamation mark. "You could read me a bed time story!" The Draconequus exclaimed, hugging Celestia's multicolored mane once more. "Pwease, Pwincess." He cooed, petting her face.

The alicorn jerked away from him. With an irritated huff, she got up and walked to a bookshelf, "Fine, if it'll get you to go to sleep." She said, using her magic to pull a book off the shelf. It was smacked away with a large wooden paddle.

"No, no, no." Discord slithered and wrapped himself around her neck like a scarf. "Make up your own story." He said. Celestia gave him a look that screamed, 'I hate you.' But he dismissed it, making his eyes exaggeratedly animated and staring at her eagerly. "Ple~ease."

She sighed, defeated. "Fine, fine." She sat down. A mini version of Discord sitting in front of her expectantly, hugging a tiny blue blanket and a stuffed ducky. She would never admit it out loud, but he was adorable. "Alright,"

Once upon a time there lived a Princess-

The wooden paddle from before then whacked Princess Celestia across the face. "NO! THAT'S SO CLICHE!" Discord scolded, still in his babyish form, holding the paddle in his hands. "BAD PRINCESS!"

Celestia, now shaking with rage, glowered at the rehabilitated villain. She rose to her hooves and trotted to the door of her bedroom, trying her best to keep her cool. If she was going to get this Draconequus out of her mane, she was going to need some help.

And So The Night Continues

The door of Twilight Sparkle's bedroom opened, a drowsy purple dragon stumbling in with a scroll clenched in his claws. "Twilight." He yawned, meandering through the dark, rubbing his eyes and blindly making his way to the bed where the purple unicorn was sleeping soundly. That is, until she was smacked with the scroll in Spike's hand. "Twilight, wake up. Letter from the Princess." He mumbled, swaying, trying to stay conscious.

Twilight shot up from the bed. "Princess Celestia?" She was suddenly wide awake, taking the scroll and opening it with her magic. She read it in the glow of the moonlight spilling in from her open window.

"My Most Faithful Student,

Forgive me for disturbing you at such an unforgiving hour, but I have found myself with a problem I can't take care of on my own. It must be handled immediately. Come to the Canterlot castle as soon as possible.

~Princess Celestia"

* * *

Twilight panted hard, running into the castle and almost collapsing onto the porcelain floor. "I should stick to reading, not running."

Spike lay on her back, stubby arms wrapped around her neck, "I should stick to sleeping." He mumbled, half-awake, nuzzling his face into the unicorn's mane.

"Twilight Sparkle!" A feminine, familiar voice exclaimed. Princess Celestia landed in front of Twilight. "Thank goodness you're here."

Twilight nodded. "Of course, Princess!"

"Quickly, my situation demands immediate attention." The Princess ushered her student up a flight of stairs and through quite a few corridors, leading her to a part of the castle Twilight had never been in. They finally entered a corridor that was anything but neat. The carpeted flooring held countless wrinkles; animals ran on the ceiling; paintings hung upside down and crooked on the walls and the doors were misshapen. Twilight opened her mouth to ask, but her unspoken question was answered at the sight of Discord sitting in one of the rooms through the strangely shaped doors.

A grimace pulled at her mouth, but she made no objections. It wasn't shocking at all that the Princess would need to deal with Discord. He was, after all, the Lord of Chaos. What was rather surprising though, was that Celestia needed her help. It made her insides tingle, and she was so happy about this that she thought she might burst. She showed none of this excitement, of course.

Celestia gestured to the room Discord sat in. When Twilight entered, a strange creature appeared in Discord's lap. It was fleshy and, if Twilight were to put it bluntly, gross. It wailed and cried much like a baby filly would. Discord pet it's face. "I've been expecting you." He said in a husky tone. The hideous, fleshy creature vanished and Discord laughed hysterically, falling back and rolling on the floor. He quickly sobered himself. "Onward!" He exclaimed. "Have you come to tell me a story, my pretty little mare?" He asked, tickling Twilight's chin.

She flinched back in disgust. Then gave Celestia a questioning look.

The Princess nodded. "This is what I called you for." She said. She looked down, grumbling something along the lines of, "He doesn't like my stories. Curse that paddle."

Twilight looked back to the Draconequus. She sat down, ignoring the fact that Spike was sliding off her back. "A story, hmm?"

"Oh yes!" Discord lay on his belly in front of her, holding his chin up on his hands and kicking his legs behind him. "Something fabulous~"

Twilight nodded in understanding. She scratched her mane in thought. "Let me think..."

Have you ever thought of what would happen if the survival of Equestria was tested?

"Oh yes!" Discord interrupted. "I think about it all the time."

Twilight glared at him. "Shush." She snarled. Discord's cheery attitude sank away and his body shrunk to indicate a sign of fear.

"Yes Mommy." He whimpered.

Twilight cleared her throat and continued-

At Last, The End Of The Night

Food was scarce. Earth ponies, Pegasi and Unicorns raged war on one another. Not only against the other races, but against their own kind as well. It was utter chaos. Some even believed it was beyond repair.

But there was an alliance; a group of ponies. They held hope. Hope for the world.

The group consisted of these six ponies-

The leader. This unicorn kept the group in order, constantly filling them with words of encouragement.

The second member being a strong and honest Earth pony. She often stayed up at night, watching over the group, keeping them safe.

They had their athlete, placing as the third member in the group; their runner. She was in charge of gathering supplies. Being the quickest, this Pegasus was light on her hooves, making it easy for her to get in and out of tough situations.

Fourth; while this unicorn did little to supply the group, she was part of the family. She kept the others optimistic, and helped with their sanity in the hard times. She believed that one day, things would go back to normal. And she wanted her group- her family -to still have their manners when this happened.

The fifth was the kind and gentle Pegasus. She cared for the group. She loved them, showing kindness and compassion. She was like a candle of hope all on her own in the world of chaos surrounding them. Proof that there was still kind ponies in Equestria.

And lastly, another Earth pony. She kept the team well fed. She cooked tasty foods, and also kept the others laughing with her seemingly endless since of humor and ability to laugh in any situation.

Together, this band of friends were determined to change the world for the better.

They started off by finding a secluded area, away from the ravenous ponies that populated the cities and towns. They built a camp, setting up an orderly arrangement. One by one, they would go out in search for others. Taking them to their makeshift home, rehabilitating these ponies back to normal. They farmed and took what little food they had, doubling it. Then tripling and so on. Soon, they made an entire town! All the ponies working together! When they would come up against gangs of ponies set on ripping away their slowly building civilization, they would show them kindness, changing their hearts.

Soon, the world was set back to normal, life returning back to its previous state.

Twilight smiled, "Showing that no matter what, working together can help you in any situation, and-"

The loud eruption of snoring cut her short. Discord lay, levitating in the air, his head on a pillow and a blanket covering part of his body. Twilight looked to her left to see Princess Celestia curled on the floor, sleeping as well.

The purple unicorn continued to smile fondly. "It seems my work here is done." Quietly, she pulled Spike onto her back once more and left the two to sleep.