Luna visits Glitter Princess castle!
Princess Luna was messing with a ball in her bedchambers one morning. Thunk, ping, spoof. Thunk, ping, spoof. She tossed the ball towards the wall, where it bounced off the bed's backboard and onto the soft comforter. It was a cold and snowy day and all Equestria was stuck inside. Luna, however, was perplexed as to what to do with her boredom. Suddenly, she heard a deep and raspy voice call for her to Celestia's chambers. Celestia looked terrible. Her hair wasn't flowing like usual, rather... dripping. yes, that was the word. It was limp, dropping pastle goop on the comforter, only to have it suck back to her mane like it was magnetic. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was bent over a steaming kettle of melted vapo-rub, inhaling deeply and trying to unclog her sinuses. She was not pleased when she saw Luna enter the room. She had been deeply disturbed by the constant thunk against the wall. Luckily, she was still able to use some magic despite being bedridden, and decided to reuse a certain spell she had perfected a long time ago. " Gee!" said Luna, gasping when she saw her older sister. " You look terrible! Anything I can do to help?" She asked. Celestia lowered her eyebrows. " Why, yes you can. See that glass over there? Bring it here please." Celestia chimed, nodding towards a simple glass on a nearby table. " Ok!" said Luna, cherrily prancing over towards the glass. Celestia grew tense. Then, as Luna's hoof just met the smooth surface of the water glass, she exploded into a shower of sparkles, which suddenly began spinning and catching a drift on the air towards the sky. " Psych!" Said Celestia, chuckling. Now she could enjoy a nice, restful day without her sister's antics bothering her. Plus, she could finally rest knowing that familiar silhouette in the moon would be there again, instead of the recent awkward blank spot.
Luna was hurtling through a swirling void of.... she didn't really know what. Hands outstretched, she screamed and failed herself violently through the raging vortex. Suddenly, she saw light below her. Suddenly, something terrible began ringing in her ears: a mix of off-key singers and terrible lyrics...
" THAT"S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT CHRISTMASSSS!!!"
" PINK, THE SUNSET IS PINK, AND SO IS A ROSE!"
" NOTHING'S LIKE A SOCKKKKKKKK!!
" A BUTTERCUP GLOWS A YELLOWY COLOR"
Luna began to scream as she fell through the circle of light and landed in painted-in grass.
A pink... THING... stood in front of her, shrouded in a sea of overly-voluminous rainbow hair. It had enormous alien eyes, eyeshadow, and... mascara, Luna thought.
" Wowee! Hiya, Lady! Gee wiz, you sure look funny. I'm Rarity, Crystal Princess of the rainbow, sort-of princess of Unicornia. What's your name?"
Luna was freaking out. This was weird... where was this place? It was alien... yet vaguely familiar... Like some sort of bad dream. Luna began to speak to the creature.
" Uh.... Um.... My name's Luna."
" WOWEE! That's a pretty name. Cummon'! I bet Star Catcher and Cherilee will just love to meet you! " The pony screamed, leaving Luna almost death and she was yanked along by the monster with an awkwardly large and blunt hoof. Rarity.... wasn't that the name of that nice pony who had set her free from her evil double? No. It couldn't be. This was simply a coincidence. Nothing more. As she was pulled along, she noticed lettering under the pony's foot: COPYRIGHT HASBRO 2006. MADE IN CHINA. Luna checked under her foot: It bore similar lettering, only 2011 as it's numbers. Luna began to worry. This meant her and this creature where related. Was this some sort of alternate dimension?
Suddenly, the beast spoke again.
" Gee, I sure am excited for the fashion show at Glitter Princess palace today! I'm not allowed to compete because I'm already a princess.... But you can! Whatta about, lady?"
Luna thought quickly.
" Well, I'm a princess too. Oopsie. Guess I can't compete." Said Luna, faking sadness desperately.
" Course you're not, silly pants! You don't havva crown! Every princess needs a crown or she can't be a princess!" said the thing, pointing to a very sketchy looking tiara on her head.
" What? I do too have a tiara!" said Luna, searching her head but finding nothing. It must have fallen off when she was falling. Oh No. This wasn't good. Only the founders of Equestria themselves could know what horrors awaited in the glitter covered bricks in the background. She supposed the animators would enlarge it in a frame or so.
she was right, but it came all too soon. Suddenly, the cheap animation took a shortcut and suddenly the castle stood in front of them. " If you're gonna join us in the fashion show, you'll need to get prettied up!" Luna began to writhe violently, trying to escape the abnormally strong grip. However, the pink crystal doors where opened by a pair of midget ponies with wings that seemed unfit to support their body, and on they went.
As soon as inside the incredibly generic palace, she was shoved inside a large room that looked like every other room she had seen in this horror fest. Inside, stood a lumpy blue thing starting at her intently. " E'llo, Darling!" it said. Luna didn't know exactly what to say. However, there was no need too, for the thing snatched her up and threw her in a vat of some sort of pinkish ooze. Finally, after being held underwater against her will, she came up gasping for breath, her mane and coat a shade of eye-burning bubble gum pink. Disgusted, luna tried to reach the basin of water on the table nearby. The lump instinctively kicked it over, and began to run some burning-hot contraption over her hair, making it almost as hideous as the color scheme of this world. She was then promptly shoved into something not even slightly designed for ponies and then sprayed in hideous gloss, glitter, and and lipstick.
Without much knowledge of it, she was bucked out onto a shining catwalk, where the neon floodlights made her blink in agony for a presumably long period of time. she sluggishly slide across it, the G3 pony sized dress sagged in odd places, for she was G4, and a different design and much less pudgy. She quickly hurried over, despite everyone cheering wildly. She tiredly stood there, observing the scene in a hazy shroud. Suddenly, she was propped upon a paper mache throne and given a weighty tiara and a bouquet of sickeningly strong roses. The cherubic little flying ponies approached her in a neon swarm, and she swatted them away, sending a few sinking to the ground like a stone and being crushed into goop by the weighty hooves of the crowd, which was not only lazily drawn, with sketchy looking faces, but also had several of the same ponies repeating. The other mini-ponies watched in horror at the sight, and one promptly fluttered down, picked up an oozing eyeball, and hugged it promptly as it began to scream " AZAMANDARTH!!! OH AZAMANDARTH, WHY!?!" Luna simply tossed one of the roses over the mess and watched as one pony accidentally ground up the rose, which soaked up the bodily juices as intended. Suddenly she noticed the rest of the creatures were carrying her onto a giant float of an enormous rose, where the throne was placed on an interlocking pad. Luna wished to escape, but it was a long fall down, and even is she did try to fly, there where other pegasi in this world as well, and she'd probably just be put back here. So, She smiled and waved as though enjoying the situation at least a tiny ounce, and watched as the terribly manufactured, product-placement float began to smoke from the base up.The wheels had become jammed on the corpse-rose mess and had sparked, sending the confetti-coated float into a blaze! The flames slowly began to climb up the rose, reveling the metal under - wire skeleton. The fire brigade was trying to put out the fire with fruit punch from a stand nearby, but luna new the sugar would only fuel the flames, and it was only a matter of time before they reached her. Then, suddenly, an huge, thunder like noise rung out.... BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! a loud, tolling of a clock. Suddenly, the flames began to swirl around her, burning her, scorching her flesh, ripping at her clothes, until she was swept away into the flames. Suddenly, she was deposited on a table, the water glass smashing under her weight and sudden impact. Celestia jolted up out of bed with a snort, seeing luna dripping in water with mascara running down her blue cheeks and pink streaks trickling all over her, making her look like some sort of tie-dye accident. " what in the unholy realms of discord happened to you?" she said, with a twinge of concern in her voice. " You look awful. I'll send for a servant to get you prettied up." Luna ran screaming out the sliding glass door and flew off the balcony. It did not concern her it was snowy, or that she would most likely never find her way back, or that she was in fact, very hungry. For she was never, ever, going through such an ordeal again.
