"This place is a sausage fest, you know that right?"
The question made Dusk Shine drop his quill. "What?" he asked, eyes wide.
"This place, Ponyburg? It's a sausage fest. You know that, right?" Rainbow Blitz asked again.
"I... never really thought about it," Dusk admitted. He couldn't help but think about what Rainbow said as he picked up the quill and started writing at his desk again. The rainbow-maned pegasus sighed heavily as he flew casually through Dusk's study.
"Dude, that's the problem," Rainbow said, dashing over and turning his friend to face him. "You know how many girls there are in this town?"
Dusk chuckled uncomfortably as he considered what his friend said. "I'm pretty sure that half the ponies in Ponyburg are mares."
"Really?" Blitz asked, unconvinced. "How many do we know?"
Dusk's mind went blank. "Umm, well..." Blitz smiled a sly, challenging grin at his friend. This was one of the reasons Dusk needed Blitz; he spent so much time in his books that details, both big and little sometimes passed him by.
Dusk thought about it for a moment. "Mrs. Cake," he began to list.
"-is married," Blitz added, sounding coy. He practically knew what his friend's responses were going to be.
"There's the mailmare," Dusk said.
"You mean the one who's face you keep slamming the door in?"
Dusk put a hoof behind his neck. "I... sometimes I just get excited when I get something in the mail. When it doesn't come through Barbara anyway."
"Uh huh," Blitz remarked. "Keep going."
"Um, well there's Big Red," he tried again.
"Oh, I was wondering when you'd get to Applebuck's sister. Well, at least you didn't mention Gleaming Shield. So, you like the strong-silent type eh?"
"I, I didn't mean-" Dusk was getting legitimately uncomfortable with this line of questioning but his scholarly side and need to please his friends wouldn't let him shy away from it.
"She's like, the biggest mare in Ponyburg," Blitz said, spreading his hooves out for emphasis. "And how often does she leave Sweet Apple Orchards?"
"I wasn't, I didn't-"
Blitz got up in Dusk's face. "What are you two going to talk about? Do you buck apple trees? Do you know how to make cider, work on a farm? How many times is she going to say 'eeyup'?"
Dusk didn't have an answer to any one of those questions. He shrugged and shook his head, hoping now he wasn't sweating.
Another smile spread over Blitz's face. "What is Applebuck going to say when he finds out you're interested in his big sister?"
"Oh please," Dusk pleaded. "Rainbow, I didn't mean it that way, you can't-"
"Well, that's where your mind jumped right to. I bet it won't be long before it's Hearts and Hooves day again and she's calling you schmoopey-bear," Rainbow laughed.
"Rainbow, no, I'm not into any mare that way," Dusk stated flatly.
"Oh, so you swing that way," his friend didn't let up. "That makes sense."
"That's not what I meant either!" Dusk said, getting frustrated now. "I've just never really considered... dating," he swallowed hard, using the d-word. "I've been so busy with studying, my spells and learning more about friendship-"
"That's what I'm talking about, dude. A different kind of friendship. You need 'special' friends. Yes," Rainbow's voice turned to a whisper. "your own special somepony."
Dusk's eyes went wide again. Before coming to Ponyburg, he'd never considered trying to make any real friends. After coming to Ponyburg, he had been dedicated to his mission to learn more about the magic of friendship. He and his friends had gone on adventures together, forged unbreakable bonds and together they shared a destiny as the Prosperity Components. Apart from his hidden stash of romance novels, he hadn't thought at all about interactions with the opposite sex. It literally just never came up.
"Mares, dude. I'm talking about mares," Blitz said. "We need to get you and me some action."
Dusk swallowed again. "Ha.. how?" he asked. His need to please his friend, to gain approval from somepony he resepected combined with his priority to keep an open mind and try new things finally breaking through his discomfort. But now he was legitimately sweating.
"First, we'll go see the guys. Hit up Elusive and Bubble for some tips on making you more... appealing. Then, we'll check in with Butterscotch and Applebuck. Maybe they can teach you a little bit about 'animal magnetism'." Blitz said with a grin and a laugh.
"How long is this going to take," Dusk said, trying to get out of it. "Don't you have the sky to clear or something?"
Blitz looked out the window and noticed a single gray cloud, randomly thundering and raining as it hung. It was completely out of place in the otherwise clear sky over Ponyburg.
"Eh, it'll be fine," he said, ignoring the cloud. Technically, stray clouds were his responsibility but he felt it was far more important to get both himself and his friend some tail right now. He didn't think about it but that cloud would likely cause trouble down the road and come back to bite him but right now he the thought didn't cross his mind. Even if it had, it probably wouldn't have changed his decision.
"I'll even give you some personal tips straight from yours truly," Rainbow said, smoothing out his mane. "There's not a filly in Stratosveil who can resist moves like mine."
"Yeah, I'll bet," Dusk said, remarking sarcastically on his friends brazen attitude. "You're sure there's not a book I can read on this? Maybe something by Short-tailed Spiraling Space?"
Blitz shook his head. "Books are part of the problem, Dusky. Now, let's get going. Come on," he said pushing his friend out of the door. Blitz literally moved his friend down the staircase of his library treehouse home, through the foyer and out of the door. Barbara, Dusk's baby-dragon assistant was reshelving books as the two moved through.
"Barb? Could you- wait, hold on a second, stop!" Dusk Shine said, using his magic to loose Rainbow Blitz's grasp on him. "Just wait outside for a second."
Rainbow rolled his eyes and flew out the door. Dusk quickly turned to Barbara.
"Whatcha need Dusk?" Barb asked. "You guys going somewhere?"
" Yeah and something tells me I won't be back 'till late. Take care of Owlouisa while I'm gone and-"
Blitz banged on the side of the door, impatient. "Let's go! We ain't gotta all day!"
"and try to maybe, find a book on...*gulp*... dating."
"Sure thing, Dusk," Barbara replied.
Dusk walked over to the door. Blitz opened it and practically pulled the purple unicorn outside. "You think we can stop by the library first?"
"We're not gonna stop until we get you some flank my friend. Let's go see Elusive first," Rainbow said back. Almost whimpering, Dusk Shine followed his friend away from the sanctuary of his home. Despite the fact he'd traveled the Ponyburg road many times before, it felt like he was entering a different world entirely. The world of long nights, plot-chasing colts, loud music and the thing that frightened him most of all at the moment: girls.
