No Name Given

by Perpetual Lurker

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Slice of Life, Original Character
Length: 5064

With no memories of his past or identity, a pony is thrust into the world to make a life for himself

Amnesia is tricky business. You don't know who you are, and you need to move forward, but how do you do that if you don't have anything behind you to start with? Do you strike out on your own anyway, carving your place in the world from square one? Or do you try to regain what you once had? After all, what's the point in trying to be somepony you're not?

For one unfortunate pony, these questions don't seem to have an easy answer. From the hospital, to the streets, to a new home, he must make his way in the world while deciding what is important in order to move forward, as well as deal with those who would rather he never left square one to begin with...

Published 2012-02-12 11:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-19 08:10:20 UTC

Chapter 1

No Name Given

By: Perpetual Lurker

Chapter One

On the outside, Ponyville General Hospital was a cheerful looking place, the old fashioned wooden paneling giving it a comforting, rustic appearance. Even on the inside, there was plenty of happiness to go around. Proud new parents watched their new foals in the nursery. Older foals got patched up from small accidents, looking back on their experience with laughter and a lesson learned. There were some places in the hospital, however, that could never be considered happy. These were halls that were nearly empty, but always needed, a grim reminder that despite everypony’s best efforts, nothing was perfect. Bodies can be crippled. Minds can be broken. Lives can be lost. Despite all of this, those halls were where Nurse Redheart thrived.

She lived to help ponies in need, and this was where she was needed the most. Every pony she could help get back on their hooves was one more pony that didn’t have to suffer in that Celestia-forsaken place, and it made her happy knowing she had an impact on the lives of others. One afternoon, the white mare was delivering meals to patients in the rehabilitation and psychological wards.

“Now, make sure you eat all of it. You need to keep your strength up if you ever want to get back into the air.”

“Yes ma’am!” the red pegasus said before enthusiastically digging into her meal. She had ended up in rehab after a freak wind storm at the edge of the Everfree Forest blew her into the trees, severely breaking both of her wings and one of her legs. The doctors said that she would probably never fly again, but with a little encouragement she was making excellent progress towards recovery.

If I had a bit for every pegasus that made it out of here just fine after those pessimists told them their wings were ruined for good, I would be one rich mare, Redheart thought to herself with a smile as she pushed the lunch cart to its next destination. Moving into the psychological ward, the nurse delivered food to several more patients, most of which were cheery, if a bit off.

One poor unicorn had developed a crippling fear of any magic after one of her own spells had backfired. She refused to see other unicorns, severely limiting the staff that could safely work with her, as the majority of the doctors in the hospital were unicorns themselves. Luckily, she was quite kind and reasonable to earth ponies and pegasi, and she was showing signs of progress when it came to her own magic. Turns out that she was becoming increasingly frustrated with having to use her hooves and mouth for everything, having relied on telekinesis for many years to do the simplest tasks, and she kept cheating on her own magic ban when things got difficult. She denied everything when confronted about it, but progress was progress.

The last patient on her route though, was quite a bit different than the rest. He was a sandy brown coated pegasus who had only just arrived two days ago. Redheart knew absolutely nothing about him, mostly because nopony else knew anything about him either. He had been brought to the hospital after being found unconscious in the park. The pony had no visible injuries, but he never truly woke up.

“For all intents and purposes, this pony is unconscious,” the doctor on duty explained to Redheart when she arrived at the patient’s room. “He’s unresponsive to any outside stimuli, and we’re not sure what we can do for him in that condition. It’s like some sort of waking coma. We’ll just have to wait for him to snap out of it, if he ever snaps out of it.”

Once after the doctor finished writing his report on the patient’s condition, he moved on to the next one on his list, leaving Nurse Redheart to feed the pony by hoof. She didn’t enjoy this part of the job, but somepony had to do it. In the more wealthy hospitals in Canterlot, they had machines that could feed an unconscious pony through their blood, but there wasn’t enough money for a small town like Ponyville to have anything like that. They would have to transfer him there if he didn’t wake up soon. She hoped it didn’t come to that though, because if he didn’t wake up here, he probably wasn’t going to wake up at all.

He woke up on a bed staring at a stark white ceiling. The only sounds he could hear were his own breath and heartbeat. Everything hurt, from his head, to his... his...

My what? He asked himself. He didn’t remember. Ignoring the pain for the time being, he held a limb out in front of him. It was a sandy brown color and tapered at the end in a... A hoof, he realized. This is a hoof. Everything hurts, from my head to my hoofs, or is it hooves? Kinda has a nice ring to it either way, except of course for the pain.

With a groan, he sat up in the bed and looked at his surroundings. The walls of the room were the same white color as the ceiling. The floor was white too, but it looked like it was made of something different than the walls, something much shinier that came in squares. To his right, there was a window showing a darkened night sky. In front of him there was a brown wooden door. To his left he saw... himself.

At least, I think that’s me... he thought, examining the creature in the mirror on the wall. Most of his body was the same color as his leg, with a bit of short maroon fun running down the back of his neck. His eyes were an icy blue color, taking up much more of his face than he expected.

Now, where am I? Rolling out of the bed, he stumbled onto his hooves, barely able to keep his balance. Every joint in his body was stiff and sore. I must have been out for a long time... He made his way over to the door and exited the room. Finding himself in a long hallway, he picked a direction at random and began walking. There has to be someone else around here...

Doctor Quick Thought was alone in her office studying the day’s reports on the patients in the psych ward. She preferred working late hours, there were no ponies around to distract her or get in her way. As she shuffled through the reports with her magic one last time, she sighed in disappointment.

How am I supposed to get anywhere if there’s nothing to study! All of these ponies are simple cases: neurosis, phobias, personality disorders... Everything is well documented and easily treatable. I’ll never get out of this town at this rate. I’ll never get out of his shadow... I need to be able to make a breakthrough. I need a proper subject....

The blue coated, pale green maned unicorn began packing up her things for the night, her sharp gray eyes double checking each document as she returned it to its proper folder in the cabinet. Yawning, she opened the office door, stepped out into the hall, and found herself face to face with with a confused looking tan pegasus.

“Um... Visiting hours are over, sir, I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave.”

“Visiting... hours?” the pony replied in a hoarse voice. He cleared his throat before speaking again. “Where am I?” He seemed genuinely lost.

He’s a patient here! Quick Thought realized, wondering why she didn’t figure it out right away. He must have been the comatose pony who was brought in the other day, he certainly matches the description on file. “You’re in Ponyvile General Hospital, and I believe you just woke up from a coma. Now, if you’ll follow me Mister... I’m sorry, but what is your name?”

“My... name?” The question seemed to catch the pegasus off guard. After a few moments of thought, a look of horror appeared on his face. “I- I don’t remember...” At the sound of his words, a smile spread across the doctor’s face.

Jackpot.

The realization that he had no idea who he was had hit him like a ton of bricks. He had spent the rest of that night trying to remember anything from his past, even the smallest detail, but nothing came to him. Nothing came to him the next day either, even after being put through a gauntlet of tests and questions by Doctor Quick Thought.

“Now, remember to answer these questions as well as you can. Even half of an answer is better than no answer at all.” The doctor peered at him over the edge the clipboard levitating in front of her, her cold gray eyes analyzing his every move. “What is your name?”

“I’ve answered these questions at least three times already. This is getting us nowhere.”

“It’s getting us everywhere, dear. I need to keep testing what you know, and what you’ve learned from the questions you’ve asked me, otherwise I won’t have enough data for research. Now, please cooperate. What is your name?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where do you live?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you have any family?”

“I. Don’t. Know.” He didn’t know how much more of this repetition he could take. It was frustrating enough that he couldn’t remember even the smallest of details. The fact that his angry response only caused Quick Thought to scribble down more notes on her clipboard didn’t help.

“Do you have any friends?” This was a new question.

Do I? He thought about the few ponies whose names he had learned that day. The other ponies in the psych ward he had seen were either anti-social or too out of it to even notice anypony else. Nurse Redheart seemed nice, and even stayed to talk for a bit after delivering a meal, but she had only been there for a minute before Quick Thought arrived and kicked her out of the room so she could resume her tests. And then there was the doctor herself...

“No.”

“Very good, now let’s go over some basic facts one more time, they we can break until after dinner. Where are you?”

“Ponyville General Hospital.”

“And why are you here?”

“I can’t remember anything.”

“Incorrect. You can remember new things quite easily from after waking from your coma, and you remember how to speak as well as reading and writing and some and some basic motor skills. You should consider yourself lucky.”

I certainly don’t feel very lucky...

The questions continued for several more minutes before Quick Thought finished her notes and left him to his own devices, though he got the feeling that their session only ended because she had simply run out of paper to write on. He paced about the room for a bit as he fruitlessly tried again to remember anything from longer than a day ago.

I will remember. I have to... Deciding that he needed to take his mind off of his memory, he wandered over to the new desk in the corner of the room. Now that he was confirmed to be a long term guest at the hospital, he had been provided with a desk and a few books to read, as well as some paper and a pencils for writing. The doctor had strongly encouraged him to record his thoughts in a journal, but he didn’t see the point, especially since she had already picked his brain enough that she might as well have already read his mind. He scanned the titles of the books, looking for something that might jog his memory. When nothing jumped out at him, he closed his eyes and picked a book at random.

The Elements of Harmony? Sounds like a fairy tale. I think I could use some fantasy right about now... After puling a chair into the light of the window, he sat down and began to read.

Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Doctor Quick Thought always endeavored to arrive at the hospital early, even if she had worked late the night before. She enjoyed the mornings for the same reason she enjoyed the nights. Things were quiet, allowing her to work undisturbed. In addition to that, most patients tended to be rather groggy this early, making them more open to suggestion and allowing her more insight into their basic thought processes. It was the perfect time to gather more data on her new subject. Upon entering the hospital, the doctor went straight to her office to retrieve her clipboard and go over her notes from the previous day one last time.

The office was spotless, exactly the way she left it the night before. Before she could retrieve her notes, though, she noticed a memo stuffed into the mailbox on the wall. Levitating the paper in front of her, she began to read. A knot formed in her stomach as soon as she saw who the notice was from.

Ponyville General Hospital
Department of Psychology

Please see me in my office as soon as possible.

Dr. Clear Thought

Not him... Anypony but him! Why does he always have to call me at the worst of times! Quick Thought crumpled the letter in anger before tossing it in the waste bin. Well, let’s get this over with. Returning her papers to their proper place, she set off down the hall towards the hospital’s administrative wing. Eventually, she arrived at Clear Thought’s office. With a heavy sigh, the doctor knocked on the door.

“Come in!” a cheerful voice answered as the door sparkled with magic before swinging inward. The office was incredibly spacious and well lit compared to Quick Thought’s own, with several large chairs arranged in front of an equally large desk and a wide window in the wood panelled wall showcasing an excellent view of the town. Behind the desk sat a dark green-coated unicorn with a short, white mane. His soft gray eyes gazed happily at Quick Thought through thick, wide-rimmed glasses as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her. “Now, how is my little filly doing this morning?”

“I am not your ‘little filly’ any more, father” Quick Thought replied, letting her annoyance with the situation show clearly in her words. “Can we get this over with? I was in the middle of conducting very important research.”

“Actually, your research is what I wanted to talk to you about. It would appear that you have taken on quite an interesting case recently, haven’t you?”

“Yes, the coma patient that arrived several days ago regained consciousness two night ago. He appears to have complete retrograde amnesia.”

“And how have you been treating it?”

“First, I ran him through some simple mental and physical exercises to ascertain whether he had suffered any brain damage. Then I questioned him on basic facts of his life, recording his responses to check for any ch-”

“No, no. I asked how you were treating his condition, not how you were studying it.”

“Well, how am I supposed to treat him correctly if I don’t-”

“Don’t lie to me, Quick. You have no intention of treating him right away, do you?” The stallion’s tone became far more serious. “We are doctors, and as such we are sworn to aid our patients as best we can. They are not a chore. They are not test subjects. And above all, they are not stepping stones to your own personal glory. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” Quick said through gritted teeth.

“Good. Now, I hope you don’t mind, but I sent a nurse to fetch this patient of yours just before you got here. He should be here any minute. We are going to do what you should have done in the first place.”

The pegasus yawned loudly as the nurse shepherded him down the hall. He had gone to bed early after reading the previous night, mostly due to the fact that the book was incredibly dry and boring. It told an interesting story of two princesses and a power struggle between them, but it read more like a history text than a fairy tale. Even with the extra sleep, getting up at such an hour left him feeling rather drained and worn out.

I hardly did anything yesterday and I’m still this tired. I must be really out of shape. He glanced over his shoulder at the pair of wings on his back. I wonder if I’ll even be able to fly with these things...

“Alright, we’re here.” The nurse’s voice snapped him out of his stupor. They were standing in front a door with a sign that read: “Dr. Clear Thought, Director of Psychology.”

“Go on in, he’s expecting you.”

Inside, he found Quick Thought and another pony, presumably Doctor Clear Thought, having a conversation at the far end of the room.

“-not going to discuss this matter any further. My decision- Oh, hello there! I didn’t see you come in!” The doctor’s voice immediately shifted to a cheerful, comforting tone when he noticed his guest. “I’m Doctor Clear Thought. You must be the amnesia patient.”

“Yeah, that would be me.” Were they talking about me?

“Excellent! Now, if you’ll just step over here, I’m going to perform a test.”

Not this again... The pegasus sighed heavily as he walked over to the doctor and prepared himself for another barrage of repetitive questions.

“Now, you may feel little light headed, but that should only last a few moments...” Clear Thought’s horn lit up with magic, and he touched it to the patient’s forehead.

The tan pony’s vision was filled with a blinding white light as the spell pierced his mind. Almost as soon as it appeared though, the light faded, leaving him dizzy and disoriented.

“Do you feel any different?”

As he regained his composure, he tried again to recall any memories from before he woke up in the hospital. Nothing came to him.

“No...”

“I suspected as much, but it was worth a try.”

“What exactly did you try?”

“It was a memory spell that causes the target to remember things they’ve forgotten or repressed.”

“Then why didn’t it work on me?”

“Because more has happened to you than simple amnesia, I think. You see, I’ve studied the report that Doctor Quick Thought wrote, and I noticed a few peculiar... quirks, so to speak. First, you appear to be very emotionally distant, never displaying anything more than frustration and annoyance at your situation. Second, you appear to have very little in the way of natural body language. Most ponies have ‘tells’ or ‘tics’ specific to them that those who know the pony well or have a trained eye can pick up on, but you don’t seem to have developed any. Third, and most importantly, you don’t have a cutie mark.”

“A cutie mark?”

“It is a mark that every pony develops when they discover their primary skill, motivation, or purpose in life. They are a sign of one’s own personal identity.” The doctor gestured to the mark on his flank, which appeared to be a picture of a beam of light being focused through a glass lens.

The pegasus glanced over at Quick Thought. Her mark was of a light blue swirling cloud. His own flank was blank, just as the doctor had said.

“What does this mean?”

“It means that you’ve lost more than just your memories. Your entire identity, your personality, and your past have all been erased. Because your cutie mark is defined by who you are, it too has vanished. My memory spell didn’t work because it brings to the surface memories trapped somewhere in you mind that you can’t get to, but in this case they simply aren’t here. You’ve essentially been left a blank slate.”

A blank slate? Are my memories gone forever? He couldn’t bring himself to speak. All he could do was try and process everything he had just heard.

“Wait, I’ve read every book we have on modern psychology three times over, and I’ve never read about anything like this happening before,” Quick Thought said, obviously sceptical of the theory.

“That’s because you won’t find anything about this in a book of modern psychology. The last recorded case of identity erasure was more than five hundred years ago. Back then, the victim was a unicorn who ended up erasing part of his own mind after a traumatic event. He eventually recovered, though, as the magic wasn’t permanent. While we have no idea what exactly caused this case, it will most likely wear off in time as well.”

The tan pony’s spirits soared at the news.

“So I jut have to wait it out then! I’m going to be all right!”

“Most likely, yes, but we don’t know exactly how or when it will wear off. It could take days. It could take months. It could even take years.”

“Oh...”

“So, now that you have diagnosed my patient, I would like to continue my research of his condition,” Quick Thought said impatiently.

“Of course! You’ll be able to get all the research you need in Outpatient Care when our friend here returns each week for an evaluation.” Turning to his patient, Clear Thought continued. “Congratulations! You have a clean bill of health, so you are clear for discharge from the hospital!”

“What!?”Quick Thought shouted. “What about my research?”

“Calm down, please. Like I said, you will get to see him once a week. There’s no point in keeping him here if we can’t do anything more for him.”

Completely livid, the mare stormed out of the office, magically slamming the door behind her.

“Don’t worry about her, she’ll be okay. She means well, but sometimes her priorities get a bit out of order. This isn’t the first time this has happened. Now, before we fill out the paperwork to let you go, you need to give yourself a name. Even if it’s only temporary, you need a formal identity for your file. Besides, you wouldn’t want to go out into town and not be able to introduce yourself, would you?”

“A name, huh?” He had never given a name for himself any thought, figuring he would remember his soon enough. From what he gathered from other ponies names, they tended to be at least somewhat descriptive. But what was there to describe him? He was just a...

“You can call me Blank Slate.”

Chapter 3

Chapter Three

So, now what?

Blank Slate stood outside the hospital for the first time that he could remember, the road into town stretching out in front of him. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing. After going through several hours of paperwork creating a legal identity for himself, he had been given saddlebags with a map, enough money to last about a week, and a list of places he might be able rent a room for the time being. As far as he figured, he would need get himself a place to stay first, but after that...

One step at a time. I need to get to town first. Should I try flying? He stretched his wings, working out their stiffness from going unused for who knows how long. Basic flight is instinctive, right? Should be a piece of cake.

Five seconds of tumbling through the air later, he learned that flying was, in fact, not instinctive. Luckily, the only thing injured was his pride. After brushing himself off, Blank opted to just walk into town.

I'll figure out how to do that later. Maybe I can find a tutor...

The walk in to town was more tiring than he expected it to be. It was about noon when he arrived, and thanks to his early start and non-stop paperwork that morning, he had neglected to have anything for breakfast. However, his hunger did nothing to diminish the incredible sight of the town itself. It was a simple place, but that wasn't what made it feel special.

Everything here is so... happy! The hospital, while by no means drab or dull, simply felt sad and oppressive. Ponyville, however, was brimming with life. Ponies bustled about every which way, all smiling while they shopped, chatted, and generally had a good time, the technicolor display of their various coats only adding to the air of liveliness in the town. Deciding to grab something quick to eat, he found his way to the market, where many ponies had set up brightly colored stands selling just about anything he could think of, and plenty of things he hadn't thought of as well. Eventually, he settled on grabbing a bite to eat from a nearby apple stand.

"Howdy, stranger!" The orange behind the stand mare smiled as she greeted Blank. "What can I do ya for?"

"I'll take three apples..." Blank began, trailing off as he saw the array of mouthwatering treats laid out on the table. "...and one of those." He pointed a hoof at a delicious looking piece of cake in the middle of the table.

"Three apples and a slice of Granny Smith's Homemade Apple Spice Cake? Mighty fine choice for a lunch if I do say so myself! That'll be five bits."

Blank rummaged around in his saddlebags for the necessary coins before handing them over to the mare behind the stand, who continued to speak.

"I reckon you're new in town?"

"What gave me away?"

"Well, I ain't ever seen ya 'round town before, and the way you were lookin' 'round makes it clear as day."

"That obvious, huh?" I guess I'm not from around here after all... Just another mystery for the list.

"Yep." The mare glanced about nervously before leaning closer to Blank. "Word of advice," she whispered, "there's a certain pink pony in town that has a knack for trackin' down new ponies and throwin' them a surprise party. While that's all fine 'n dandy, it can get mighty disruptive if you've got any plans. Just thought I'd warn ya before hoof."

"Uh... thanks, I guess." So, avoid pink ponies, got it.

The apple mare packaged the pegasus's purchase in a brown paper bag passed it over the table. Picking the bag up in his mouth, Blank waved a hoof to say goodbye to the mare and trotted off to find a place to eat.

"Be sure to come on back, n-" The mare stopped mid sentence as the pegasus walked away, as if she had seen something strange. Blank hardly noticed, though. He was already deep in thought about where to go next.

I think I remember a park on my map. That should be a nice and peaceful place to eat...

WHAM

Papers scattered throughout the office as a drawer was ripped from the filing cabinet with telekinesis, slamming into the opposite wall.

Why!

WHAM

A second drawer flew across the room.

Why!

WHAM

Why!

WHAM

WHY!

WHAM

Quick Thought panted as the last drawer clattered to the floor. This was the last straw.

No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, he always ruins everything! He condemns my methods, disregards my research, releases my subjects, and yet he is the one with the cushy office and the prestigious position while I'm stuck in this little space in the wall! It should be me in that office! Better yet, I should be at one of the prestigious hospitals in Canterlot! There's no future for me in a backwater hole like this.

And this is where she hit a wall. She couldn't get a job elsewhere without credibility. As much as she hated to admit it, her father was the reason she had gotten this job in the first place. To get credibility, you either needed to be strongly recommended or make a breakthrough. Under her father, she would get neither. As if that wasn't enough, the one subject she needed had been taken from her. She needed him back, and she needed Clear Thought gone.

It's hopeless. The only way to get a pony back in the the psych ward is if they commit themselves, or if... That was it! The solution to all of her problems was clear now, and all it would take is few nudges for everything to fall into place.

Quick Thought ran through her plan of action repeatedly in her head as she returned her office to its original, spotless state. As the drawer slid into place, she had everything figured out. She left the hospital, taking the rest of the day off. She had worked more than enough overtime to make up for it. Now, all that was needed was to talk to the right ponies, and she knew exactly which ones to see...

A trio of earth pony mares sat around their usual table at the local cafe, discussing the goings-on of Ponyville.

"Did you hear what happened to Derpy this morning?" Lily asked the group.

"I heard she was caught hiding in Fluttershy's chicken coop again," Rose replied.

"I heard she got caught in a botched spell and spent a day in school as a little filly," said Daisy.

"No, no, no, those happened last week. Today, I heard she ended up in a snow globe!"

Lily and Daisy gasped.

"That's horrible! Is she alright?"

"Oh, yeah, the spell wore off pretty quick. Too bad about the snow globe though..."

"Ahem."

The trio turned to see a dark blue unicorn standing by their table. They recognized her from around town, but none of them knew her personally.

"Uh... Hi... Can we help you?" Rose said, wondering what the unicorn wanted.

"Oh, nothing, I was just passing though," the blue pony replied, a strangely smug smile appearing on her face. "I did hear the most fascinating tidbit today, though. You see, a new pony recently arrived in town."

"So?" Lily said, "We've been getting a lot of new ponies here lately. I heard Pinkie Pie's been working around the clock preparing parties for them all."

"Well, just wait until you hear where this pony came from..."