The Twilight Zone

Twilight tossed her mane restlessly. Her horn glowed as she concentrated her magic on whatever. Every day seemed to start that way. Anyway, she quickly finished up and spawned a massive portal.

It was made of some sort of mix of spider-silk-cross-steel combination. It was very strong, and when she tried to hit it, it shuddered and fell on Spike. Spike was angry, so he sent Twilight to Celestia.

"What the hell, Twilight?" said Celestia, very angrily. She was angry. That wasn't normal for her. Usually, Twilight would have had to do something really stupid, but normally that didn't happen, so she was usually calm instead of angry. Now, though, she was very angry. “I’m very angry with you, Twilight,” she said in anger.

Twilight tossed her mane restlessly.  “Don’t blame me!” she shouted. “That little idiot Spike sent me here for what may or may not have been any reason at all!”

“Was there a reason, Twilight?” said Celestia, angrily. “I’m still very angry, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t make me any angrier.” She was getting angrier. “Now I’m getting angrier!”

“I’m not going to make you angry, but Spike will, and, in fact, has already done so. That is to say that you are now angry due to his actions alone. That means you should blame him,” Twilight argued, which just made Celestia more angry. She tossed her mane restlessly.

“Excuses, excuses. Don’t try to put this on him, you worthless peasant!” Celestia blamed, putting emphasis on the ‘p’ sound in the word ‘peasant’, making it sound like ‘ph’, but not the ‘f’ kind.

“It is an excuse! And a perfectly valid one at that! Who do you think you’re talking to, anyway?” Twilight asked, incredulously.

“EX-CUSE ME? OH NO YOU DI’EN’T!” shouted Celestia, sarcastically.

“Oh yes I did, and you would be wise to keep that fact in mind for the short remainder of your life, you miserable wretch.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“That’s good. Now fetch me a glass of water in your finest mug!” Twilight ordered, tossing her mane restlessly.

“Yes, Princess.” Celestia ran away and got some water for Twilight, but in a really crappy container.

“This isn’t your finest mug, is it?”

“Well, no...”

“YOU HEARD WHAT I TOLD YOU, SWINE!” Twilight slapped the Princess in the face with a hoof.

“Well… it’s just that I use the finest mug when I brush my teeth. You wouldn’t want to have that, would you?”

“Go and get it! You clearly have no choice in the matter! And, for your information, I love the taste of old, used toothpaste!”

“Very well, O Holiness.” Celestia ran away again, but this time, returned with a small, teal, plastic mug. The inside surface was coated with a sort of clear mucus which refracted the light in the room, while also being covered with small, crusty lumps of mint-flavoured goo.

“Mmmmm… thanks for that! Lunch time!” Twilight shoved her muzzle into the mug, licking out every little crevice in order to taste the delicious dental care residue. “WOW! That tastes awesome! Now fill it with water, moron!” Twilight tossed her mane restlessly.

“Get your own, you stupid idiot. Don’t forget that I created you!”

“That may be so, but I still have the support of the previous Moon Princess! Your sister!”

“*sigh*!”

“What was that?”

“I mean, *gasp*!”

“You’d better say *gasp*! Luna, kill her!” Luna appeared in the air beside Twilight, firing a beam of Moon Energy at Celestia. Its trajectory followed this set of equations, with Celestia at the origin, (0,0), after Twilight tossed her mane restlessly:

“Haha! You missed!” said Celestia.

“My aim was that lantern behind you! Muahaha! You fool!” said Twilight. Celestia looked behind her, at the lantern, which was now flying randomly around the room, hitting things and setting them on fire.

“Do you even realise what you’ve done, Twilight? You’re burning your own house down!”

“Oh shit!” said Twilight. She stopped making the lantern fly everywhere. Twilight tossed her mane restlessly.

“Now get out, you fool! Go and find Spike in the Mystical Dimension Hole, of which I found a thought in your brains.”

“Yes, sir!” Twilight teleported to where Spike was, assumedly her tree house. “SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she screamed.

“I’m in another dimension… you have to come and find me…” said Spike’s ghostly voice, with lots of inflections and stuff.

“Okay,” said Twilight. “Where is the portal?”

“It’s gone… It disappeared when I went into it…”

“Why the hell did you do that?!”

“Because it was pretty…”

“Of course it was pretty! That was the whole point!” Twilight tossed her mane restlessly.

“Sweet Jesus, it was pretty.”

“Where the hell are you, anyway?” asked Twilight.

“Stop being lazy and find me yourself, wench.”

“That’s no way to speak to your overlord!”

“Like you can talk, moron. I’m clearly the king of this universe.”

“And what universe would that be, exactly?”

“Well… there are some trees around…” Spike trailed off.

“What is it, idiot?” Twilight grew infinitely more impatient, tossing her mane restlessly.

“OH SHIT! I DROPPED MY GAMEBOY! WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!”

“You fucking idiot, how could you drop that thing? It’s pretty much welded to your hand!”

Twilight leaned over to the camera and lifted a hoof up to her mouth. “I swear, when he gets home, I’m going to make him eat a bowl of cobwebs.”

“I’m going to find you, bitch! And when I do, you’re going to learn some manners!”

“Not if I find you first!”

“STOP SWEARING!”

Twilight shot another hole in the dimensional wall-barrier, revealing a world in which Spike was not immediately visible. But then she saw something purple out of the corner of her eye and assumed it was Spike. She concluded that there was no sense in waiting to see whether or not it was actually Spike, and leapt into the quantum space-time rift with no regrets. She tossed her mane restlessly.