Fractured

by Nyronus

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, Drama
Length: 1272

Sometimes, our pain gets the best of us.

Luna is not a weak pony, that's what she's been told by her sister.

Yet it's hard. Living with the shame and loneliness. Just like any wound, if left untreated, complications can arise, and like any disaster, sometimes the littlest things can trigger the greatest calamities.

Sometimes, our pain gets the best of us, and we lose our very selves.

Published 2013-05-24 09:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-24 09:30:02 UTC

Fractured

Celestia turned her head as the door creaked open, the brush caught in a golden glowing aura as it rested in her pink mane. A light blue muzzle poked through the opening. She smiled, recognizing it instantly.

“Sister? What bring thee to my chamber at this hour?”

The muzzle paused, and frowned in uncertainty.

“Sister? Pray thee, what troubles thee at the hour before dawn?”

The door creaked open all the way revealing a powder blue alicorn. Luna smiled wanly, and her eyes were tight with whatever had brought her to Celestia’s door. She turned her head, her eyes hidden by the loose mop of sky blue mane, her horn glowed with a silvery light as the door closed behind her, seemingly of its own power. Luna turned back to Celestia, smiling again.

“I have not felt well sister,” Luna said, simply. “I wanted a smiling face before I took my leave of rest... The lonliness of my hours weighs on me.”

“Sister...” Celestia said, frowning. “Why doth thou do this to thineself?”

“Do what?”

“This. Thou cannot let these thoughts weigh on thee.” Celestia frowned. “Read a book instead of dwelling on these... poisonous moods.”

“They weigh on me sister.” Luna sighed. “I cannot help myself. Furthermore, I do not have time for books. I must filter through the reports, my silent duty.”

“Then focus on that task. It will bring thee satisfaction.”

“Why? So I may whittle away my hours alone in content drudgery?”

“Luna!”

The smaller alicorn flinched away.

“Prithe, forgive me.” She said, after a moment. “I... I am tired.”

Celestia just frowned, her eyes softening from frustration to concern.

“The night needs thee, Luna. As do the people. I know it may not seem it, but they do love thee.”

Luna smile, weakly.

“We.... we know.”

Celestia frowned slightly.

“Rest Luna, please. Thou needs it, desperately. You will feel better on the morrow.”

“Yes, sister.” she chuckled weakly. “We have...”

“Luna...?”

“Just...” Her smile grew wider, but her eyes remained unchanged. Her hooves were shaking. “We have been a silly pony.”

“Luna...” Every inch of Celestia was marked with concern.

Luna suddenly tensed and sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. Something in her was wrong. It stirred in her stomach like sea water reaching a boiling point. Nothing distinct. Nothing direct. Fragments. Images. A great, horned serpent towering over her broken form, cackling. Celestia walking ahead of her as the army cheered below them, Discord’s nightmares fleeing into the Wildlands as the dawn finally came after so long. Luna standing behind, limping and broken. Celestia, riding through a parade as the sun shone overhead and people cheered. A somber, empty pavillion in the night as but a handful stood vigil with Luna through a meteor shower. Every flaw that meteor shower had. Every amature mistake. Luna, crying as Celestia held her. How she could never be good enough to succeed. How she could never be good enough to know that wasn’t true. All of it, like some great seething mass of chaos, bled into every inch of her, and her body trembled uncontrolably.

“Luna...” Celestia sighed. “It will be alright. Just rest.”

Something within her... collapsed and faded away. Like gossamer on the wind.

“How would you know?” She hissed.

“Luna?”

“You say We shall heal, yet We don’t.”

Something in Luna was... satisfied.

“Luna, stop.”

“You say We will be loved, yet they shun us.”

“Luna, stop this!” Celestia frowned, her eyes narrowing.

“Mistress of Shadow! Spy Queen! You say We protect them yet Sombra grew beneath our muzzle. You say our art woos them yet We know that our craft with the whole of the naked cosmos is nothing compared to children with oils and berries.”

“Luna!”

“Shut UP!”

It was so easy. So right.

“You know nothing.” Luna smirked, then snalred. “Nothing.”

Celestia reeled back in confusion and anger, and it seemed, for a moment, fear.

Good, let the foal know us as we are.

Luna stopped short and the sneer dropped from her face.

What have We done?

“Sister...” she said, shaking suddenly.

“Luna...?”

“We... I, I am sorry.”

“It’s alright Luna.” Celestia’s face softened she sighed and looked away. “I have been tired myself. It made me forget myself... I just worry about thee.” She turned back and smiled “It seems we both need leave to rest.”

“I... I am sorry sister. Thou was right. Rest, focus. I need this.” Luna hastily stood. “Good ‘Morrow Sister Dearest. Take care.” Luna then turned and made for the door, her natural gait and grace hiding her haste to leave.

“Wait, Sister.”

Luna stopped, and turned.

“Thou will be fine.” Celestia smiled warmly, if sadly. “I have faith in thee.”

“Yes sister,” Luna said, and gave a smile which never reached her eyes. “I know.”

With that she left.

Celestia sighed and shook her as the door closed, the tension of an unexpected confrontation still rattling in her body. She really did need to rest. It was hard for her to focus, and these episodes drained her. This one had been so jarring and ill timed, she was beginning to lose focus of even her eyesight.

It had seemed to her, for just a moment, at the climax of the foul mood which had taken Luna, that her sister’s eyes had changed. But then, mood and memory did strange things to one another.

~*~*~*~

Luna sat in the gloom of her room, her thick curtains eating the light of the sun before it dared to breach her chambers. She ached with the dull pain of the chest and eyes that preludes weeping, yet her despair never became so great that her body would allow her such catharsis. So she sat there, her thoughts seemed to chase themselves, arguing back and forth with each other.

What is wrong with Us? That... that was not Us. Are We truly sick?

No, no we aren’t. We are only being honest. She really doesn’t understand. She hasn’t felt our pain.

But sister is wise. She has helped Us in the past

Has she? Have we gotten any better since... then?

We have.

We can’t even control ourselves... the way she reacted to us. She was afraid of us. Angry at our incontinence.

We should not think these thoughts. They sell Us short.

We should we not sell ourselves short? Grand Princess of the Elder Hours Luna, yet we still have nightmares of Discord.

We... We just need rest.

Of course we do. Her own thoughts seemed to sneer.

Luna sat for a long time, these thoughts tapering off and boiling on wordlessly in her. She eventually sighed, shaking her head, trying to clear it.

We... We should listen. Rest. Then we shall work on Our Night. More come each time to appreciate it. One day We will be able to show them what We see in it.

...Yes, of course we will.

Yes, yes. That is what We will do.

It will be the end of our efforts. If it is the last thing we will do.

Yes, it cannot fail.

No... of course. I will get what I want... in the end.

Luna rested her head as her thoughts faded on to some other topic or musing of their own accord, and as they did, the weight faded. As the tension left her, she fell into idle musing, but sleep would not come. Still, she rested with eyes closed.

Perhaps, if she had been more aware, she would have seen how the shadows of the room seemed to darken and dance on their own.