Fluttershy and Rarity Defend the Day Spa From Zombies

by Zalekai

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Fluttershy, Random, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6186

When zombies attack the Day Spa, Fluttershy and Rarity must defend it.

They thought it would just be another day of getting overly pampered at their favorite friendship spot.

They were dead wrong.

Written in the "Literal-verse", along with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash Kill Things With Weapons and Applejack Kicks the Shit Out of Diamond Tiara.

Published 2013-10-30 00:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-30 00:00:02 UTC

Blood, Sinew, Bone, Organs, Pulmonary Systems!

The midnight air hung heavy over the town of Ponyville, the sweet-smelling autumn leaves accenting the air, giving sweet smells to everypony in the humble town. Most ponies were snuggled up in their beds, snoring soundly, dreaming of what the next day's events held. Maybe a sugar-plum rainbow would drop into town and begin showering all of the peaceful technicolor equines of the rural area in happiness and candy-canes and lollipops. Then the ponies would probably get really fucking annoyed, because like, that's a lot of cleaning up to do. How would you feel if a rainbow just started dropping crap in your room? It would friggin' suck, wouldn't it?! So yeah, they didn't dream of that. Instead they dreamt of real-life shit, like bills, or relationships.

Breaking the silence of night, a barred, metal carriage scooted by across the dirt roads of Ponyville, bouncing around as a mare screamed from the back window.

"I aint' crazy! That little bitch deserved what she got!" Applejack screamed from the back of the carriage.

"Shut up back there, Filly-Beater!" one of the ponies pulling the iron-carriage called back, quickening his pace as he went through the streets of Ponyville.

Eventually, it passed by two residents of the town, Rarity and Fluttershy. The white fashionista-pony raised an eyebrow and followed the carriage with her eyes as it swept past, a country mare's voice frantically screaming out of the back.

"Fluttershy, dear... Did that sound like Applejack to you?" she asked, looking to the shy pony next to her.

"I-I don't know, I wasn't paying attention..." Fluttershy replied, looking to the ground, brushing the dirt path with her hoof.

Rarity shrugged and continued walking, pulling her kind friend with her.

"Well, onward then!" she said with a smile, walking in the direction of her favorite spot in all of Equestria.

A few blocks in front of the two, was their occasional meet up spot. A tall, beautifully-crafted, structure sat next to the dirt road, a small wooden sign hanging off of the front depicting a white earthpony, it's mane flowing freely. The Day Spa glowed gently against the night as small lamps flickered in front of the entrance. They also caused Rarity's eyes to glow as she neared the structure, nearly glowing herself out of sheer happiness. The spa had just recently started its "Midnight-Special" deals, where ponies could pay half-price for the usual spa visit. Rarity instantly jumped at the opportunity to spend less money, because of her cheap behavior, and hatred of spending too many bits on... Well, anything.

"I don't understand why we have to go to the spa at midnight..." Fluttershy said quietly, nearing the structure with her ecstatic friend.

"Because, dear. A midnight spa visit is the ultimate relaxation, erm, thing." she said, trying to find an excuse to cover up her cheapness.

Fluttershy shrugged, her wings ruffling slightly as she noticed the untruthful tone in her best friend's voice.

"O-Ok... Maybe it'll even be fun." she said, forcing a smile onto her stunningly beautiful face.

Rarity smiled as well, her face less-so, and held the door open for Fluttershy.

"That's the spirit!" she said cheerfully as her friend hurriedly walked inside.

A calming elevator-style music filled the waiting room of the spa, it's walls painted of calming colors, and the decor and furniture hoof-crafted. A single ceiling fan spun slowly above the two ponies as they walked across the wooden floor in the direction of the front desk.

Fluttershy looked around wearily as Rarity rung the tiny silver bell at the front desk, trying to signal the spa ponies. Something seemed off to the nimble pegasus. Some sort of fear itched at her, gnawing at the back of her skull, as if something was going to jump and scare her at any moment. Her gaze was then diverted to the fan, it's blades slowly turning and pushing a small amount of air back down to the floor of the waiting room.

"Uhm... Rarity?" she asked quietly.

"One sec, deary. Aloeeeee! Lotussss!" Rarity shouted, leaning over the desk and looking into the halls of the spa.

There was no response, only the eerie waiting-room music as it echoed throughout the quiet halls of the structure.

"R-Rarity... I don't-"

"It's Fluttershy and Rarity! Here for the midnight special!" Rarity continued, cutting off her nervous friend.

The room seemed to go cold at that moment, and Fluttershy began to shiver uncontrollably. Something was wrong, and she was definitely beginning to feel it.

"Rarity... T-This isn't right... Something weird is going on here..." the shivering pegasus said quietly, her voice shaky and nervous.

The unicorn beside her sighed and retracted her hooves from the desk, and stood beside her scared friend.

"Oh, don't be silly Fluttershy. Things just seem a little weird because we're at the spa..." she said, half-lidding her eyes and biting her lip. "at night."

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow to her friend and backed away slightly.

"What was that?" she asked, confused.

Rarity shrugged and placed a hoof-full of bits on the counter before turning and walking into the main room of the spa.

"Nothing, dear. Now come, they know us, we'll just say we let ourselves in." Rarity said, her head held high as she gracefully walked into the room further.

The smell of soapy water and bubbly Jacuzzi hit her nostrils instantly, causing the fashionista to sigh in relief and smile brightly as she neared several of the baths, massage benches, and steam room. The spa was her home-away-from-home. Her constant escape from the stress of dress making. Countless times she'd come with pent-up frustration and tense muscles, only to be immediately whisked away to a state of relaxation where neither of those problems even existed.

"Don't you just love it here Fluttershy?! What should we do first?" Rarity asked, turning to her friend with a bright smile.

"W-Well... I-I'd kind of like to go home..." Fluttershy said, looking to the ground and prodding at it once more.

"Oh, poppycock darling! You just need to try something first, how about the jacuzzi?" her friend replied, walking towards a nearby towel-rack, retrieving a stone-white robe with a golden "R" embroidered on it and throwing it over herself, slipping both hooves into the smooth cottony sleeves.

"O-Ok... If you say so..." the shy pony replied, making her away across the room and retrieving her own robe.

Rarity smiled to her, and began walking up the steps beside the Jacuzzi, instantly feeling it's warmth as she neared the water.

"Ohhh this is going to be wondrous for my coat!" the unicorn said, slipping her robe slowly off of her body.

One leg at a time, she lowered herself into the water, a low, relaxed groan of relief coming from her lips as she sank into the water, her tired muscles instantly relaxing as the warmth of the sudsy liquid seeped into her fur. Fluttershy continued scanning the spa nervously, the itch still swelling in the back of her head.

Suddenly, every light in the room simultaneously went out, covering the room in a thick blanket of darkness. The nimble pegasus beside the Jacuzzi instantly screeched in terror and fell into the water, splashing her fashionista friend. The mare struggled under the water for a few moments, but eventually got her hoofing back and poked her head out of the bubbly water. When she returned to the surface, she quickly noticed all of the lights had returned.

"Well that's peculiar... Maybe the spa isn't used to running this late." Rarity said.

Fluttershy looked around the room frantically, terror causing her heart to pound in her chest. She backed herself against the side of the tub and began breathing heavily, scanning every corner of the room.

"Rarity... Can we please just go home? This doesn't feel right..." she said shakily.

The lights responded by promptly going out once more, a dull groan filling the room as it was shrouded in darkness once more. The groan sounded like any normal pony's, but was eerily accented by a demonic, ghostliness. It echoed off the walls and inside of Fluttershy's head, causing her to shake even more, tears nearly falling from her eyes. Rarity backed herself as far as she could into the tub, the gears of fear beginning to churn in her gut as well.

The lights suddenly flashed on again, just as quick as they'd been smothered. The two mares in the Jacuzzi stared at each other wordlessly for several moments, concern and fear painted across both of their faces.

"M-Maybe it was just the... Fuse box..." Rarity said, beginning to also scan the room.

"I-I..." Fluttershy said, shakily turning around.

Her eyes came to rest on a sky-blue earthpony with a pink mane.

"I don't think that was a fuse box..." the shy pony continued quietly.

The pony began walking towards them, stumbling every step as she stared at the two in the hot tub with glowing red irises. Her face was badly scared, and fresh blood was hanging from her lips.

"Lotus? My dear, is that you?!" Rarity asked worriedly, rising out of the water and retrieving her robe.

The mare gave no response, only continued shambling in the direction of the Jacuzzi. A low groan again echoed off the walls of the main room, causing a shiver to run down both Fluttershy and Rarity's spines.

"L-Lotus... Darling, your face!" Rarity continued, making her way down the steps towards her spa pony friend.

Again, no response came from the sky-blue mare, only a low, ghastly groan.

"Please stop making that noise." the fashionista said, stopping a few feet in front of the shambling pony.

"Rarity... Maybe we should-" Fluttershy began.

"Lotus, your face looks awful, we should get you some help!" Rarity said, inching closer.

The mare snarled and growled as the unicorn began approaching her, and started shambling faster in Rarity's direction. Rarity froze completely as the pony began roaring in anger and began getting closer. Lotus suddenly disappeared from the unicorn's view as Fluttershy quickly dove in the direction of the shambling pony, knocking her to the ground and out of Rarity's way.

"Fluttershy, what are you doing?! She's badly injured!" the fashionista said, shocked.

The shy pegasus shook her head and stood up from the ground, the earthpony beneath her squirming and growling as it tried to return to it's hooves.

"No... No there's something about her... J-Just look at her!" Fluttershy said frantically, quickly side-stepping beside Rarity.

At a second glance, Rarity did notice something odd about Lotus, mainly that there was a large piece of metal protruding from her back, blood surrounding and spurting from the open wound.

"Hmm... I guess there could possibly be something... Off about her..." Rarity said, prodding at the large metal bar in Lotus's back.

The mare growled and snarled even louder as the protrusion was touched.

"W-What do we do?!" Fluttershy asked, terrified.

"I suggest first finding Aloe, certainly there's a first-aid kit on hoof." Rarity said, kneeling behind the squirming and snarling pony.

The pegasus nodded and shuffled around nervously for a moment before walking away from the two, her head pointed towards the ground.

"Just keep walking... Just keep walking... Just keep-umph!" she said, cut-off as she ran into another pony.

She fell onto her back and shook her head, the pegasi's vision blurry from the sudden collision. After a moment, her vision returned, and she saw another pony standing above her. A pink mare with a sky-blue mane, her face also scarred badly, with glowing, blood-red eyes. Fluttershy screamed in fear and frantically scooted from beneath the pony.

"Rarity!" she screamed in terror.

The pink shambling pony began pacing towards Fluttershy as she scooted away, moaning in pain just as her sister had.

Rarity looked away from Lotus for a moment to see her shy friend frantically running towards her, Aloe shambling in pursuit.

"Aloe?! What has gotten in to you and your sister?!" Rarity asked, noticing the same glow in Aloe's eyes.

As the pink pony neared the fashionista, it quickly tackled her to the ground, lowering it's head to her neck. Both Rarity's forelegs sprang up in defense, struggling to push Aloe away as the pony began trying to gnaw at her flesh.

"Fluttershy, be a dear and, HELP ME PLEASE!" Rarity screeched, trying fruitlessly to pry the pony from her chest as it's teeth chomped away at the air above her face.

The shy pony went into a complete panic-frenzy. Dancing around nervously on her hooves as she spun in a circle, looking for something to help her friend's efforts. Her eyes came to rest on a towel-rack pinned to the wall, two stone-white towels hanging from it. She spread her wings and dashed over to the bar, and savagely pulled it from the wall, the fear flowing through her veins bringing her strength to near super-equine levels.

She quickly rushed towards the two ponies fighting for dominance on the ground, and raised the metal bar high above her head. With a loud, gut-wrenching, scream, Fluttershy slammed the bar onto Aloe's head, causing a sharp crack to echo throughout the room. The pony paused for a moment, allowing Rarity to shove her away and rise to her hooves beside Fluttershy.

"Go! Go! Finish her!" Rarity screamed in a panic.

Without hesitation, Fluttershy took a step towards Aloe as she snarled and rolled about the floor of the spa, and slammed the bar into her head once again. Blood began pouring through one of the several gashes in Aloe's face as Fluttershy repeatedly slammed the metal bar into her skull, eventually flying in every direction, painting the floor and the pegasi's coat crimson-red. Rarity watched as her friend cracked open the spa pony's skull, the red in Aloe's eyes eventually fading as her head was turned to mush.

As Fluttershy continued, Rarity began looking around the spa. She instantly noticed blood tracks covering the floors, along with several savagely-ripped holes in the walls, crudely covered up with wooden boards. The lights above her sparked every few seconds, showering the floor in sparks as the room dove in and out of darkness, and water sprayed from several broken pipes throughout the room as well, the sound of hissing water adding to the deadly sparks.

"F-Fluttershy... Do you remember any of this when we came in?" Rarity asked in disbelief, still scanning the destroyed spa.

After once more vicious thwack of the bar, Fluttershy paused and slowly looked up, noticing the drastic changes in the room. The bar fell from her hoof with a loud clank.

"W-Wait... H-How...?" she asked quietly.

Both mares were quickly cut off as several more groans sounded from beyond the main room of the spa. Their eyes came to rest on each other quietly for a moment, before both broke into a sprint towards the door. The sound of splitting wood rang in the ears of the two ponies as the creatures pulled and snapped off the boards crudely placed over the holes in the windows, both panting heavily as they finally reached the door after what seemed like hours.

"Open it! OPEN IT!" Rarity screamed.

Fluttershy nodded frantically and began pushing against the door as hard as her forelegs would allow. The door made no movement, only standing firm despite her violent thrashing against the wood. Rarity spun around as the groans and splitting wood continued, noticing several glowing-red eyes behind the wooden barriers over the large holes in the walls.

"Fluttershy... There's a lot of them coming..." Rarity said quietly over her shoulder.

"A lot of what?!" Fluttershy replied, throwing her weight into the door now.

"Ponies! Lot's of demon-ponies!"

The words echoed in Fluttershy's mind as she paused for a moment. She already hated being around ponies enough, it made her feel uncomfortable. But demon-ponies? That was a whole new level of "oh shit". After a few seconds of speculation, she began savagely throwing her weight into the door once more, screaming until her throat burned, the door not even buckling in the slightest. Suddenly, a sign appeared on the door, knocking Fluttershy back a few steps.

"750 bits... W-What...?" she said distantly, staring at the sign in front of the door.

"What?!" Rarity asked, turning around.

Written on the sign in dripping black ink, was a large 750 and a picture of a Celestian bit, followed by a bloody hoof-print, stamped at the end of the zero. The fashionista stared in disbelief as Fluttershy looked frantically between Rarity and the approaching horde.

"Did you try to open it?!" Rarity asked after several seconds.

Fluttershy nodded frantically, and squeaked loudly as a small speaker popped out from beneath the sign.

"Please deposit 750 Celestian Bits!" a cheery, automatic voice called.

"B-Bits?! No! Open the door! Ruffians are trying to ravage my mane!" Rarity screamed at the small voice box.

"Um. No. I won't. Please deposit 750 Celestian Bits!" the voice called again, it's tone remaining the same.

"I don't have 750 bits!" Rarity screamed frantically, slamming her hooves against the small voice box.

Instantly, a small, rectangular box appeared beneath the voice box, a small slot on the front of it.

"Debit and or credit is accepted as well!"

The stone-white unicorn got even more... Stone-white as she stared wordlessly at the small box in front of her eyes, a nervous bead of sweat forming on her brow. Fluttershy stared at her, shaking slightly.

"Well?!" the shy pegasus shouted.

"Well what?!" Rarity screeched in return.

"Are you going to give them your card?!"

"No!"

"Why the hoof not, Rarity?!"

"Because... I'm saving up for gems..." Rarity said, slowly bringing her credit card into view.

Fluttershy growled and rolled her eyes as she snatched the small piece of plastic from Rarity's hoof and jammed it into the small slot on the box. After a few hour-long seconds, a high-pitched ding! sounded from the door, in-sync with it opening, and spitting the card back in Rarity's face.

"You better not have taken more than 750, buck-o!" Rarity hissed to the small speaker box as she scooted into the hallway.

It was also covered in bloody tracks and muck along the walls and floor. Rarity backed away slightly and screamed, causing Fluttershy to stop completely and assume a feedle position on the ground.

"What, what?!" Fluttershy asked shakily.

"This muck is terrible for my hooves!" Rarity said with a frown.

Fluttershy growled angrily, standing up in one fluid motion, her veins seething with irritated rage. A hoof suddenly smacked Rarity's face, a loud slap echoing throughout the bloodied walls of the Spa, her face going completely blank on impact. She looked to Fluttershy in disbelief and blinked.

"Did you just-?" she asked, stunned.

She was quickly cut off however, as another yellow hoof met her face and smacked her sideways.

"SHUT UP!" Fluttershy savagely shouted, her friend immediately silencing, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

The raging pegasus grabbed her shoulders and quickly spun her around, granting her a simply marvelous view of a massive horde of moaning and groaning, grotesquely deformed, zombie ponies, waiting for them to make a move and delve into their delicious flesh.

"Now I told you something was wrong, but you wouldn't shut the FUCK up for ten seconds and listen to me!" Fluttershy continued screaming, spinning her friend back to her.

"But I-"

"You wanted a cheap spa date, I get it, we all get it, this is why you're worst pony!"

"What are you-?!"

"Shut up and give me your card."

Rarity glanced to the crowd of zombies shambling towards them nervously and shook her head.

"N-No, we can just run or-"

"Rarity. Shut the fuck up, and give me your card." Fluttershy said sternly.

Having never seen the angry side of her normally-peaceful friend, she handed over the card hesitantly, immediately pulling back after it was secure in her hoof. Fluttershy smiled and twirled her hoof sarcastically.

"Thank you... Hey, voice-thing!" Fluttershy called, pulling a cigar from behind her back, looking to the ceiling.

Upon her request, another speaker box popped out of the bloodied and bashed wall beside her, a small crackle emitting from it.

"Yes ma'am, how may I be of service?" a cheerful colt's voice asked.

"I want to kill something, and I'm willing to spend as many bits as I need." she said, also pulling a small metallic lighter from her back.

With a flick and a metallic clank, she closed her eyes, pursed her lips, and lit the cigar. She took a lengthy inhale for a moment as the front of the thick, brown cigar glowed orange, then exhaled the smoke, letting it hang limply in between her hips.

"As many bits as you need?!" Rarity asked, her eyes going wide.

Fluttershy sighed and looked back to her friend.

"What part of shut the fuck up do you not understand?" she spat in a sinister tone.

Rarity was instantly silenced, and twiddled her hooves for a moment as Fluttershy slid the card into the small slot below the voice box again.

"Credit accepted! You're free to make purchases from any wall in the building!" the box replied after a small beep.

"Say what?" Fluttershy asked raising an eyebrow and squinting to the box, taking another drag from the cigar.

"Yes, ma'am. Look for the chalk outlines drawn on the walls by our professional artist! He's about 4, so don't be too much of a dick about how they suck!" the voice box chirped.

Fluttershy squinted even harder upon hearing "chalk outlines", but instantly understood as the chalk outline of a large machine gun began to glow next to the voice box.

"Thank you for shopping with Call of Duty Thirty-Seven, Iraqi War Simulator in the Future with Knives and Horses 2097!" the box said happily before sliding back into the wall.

Rarity nervously shook as the crowd of shambling zombies came closer, nearly reaching the door they had just opened. She looked back and forth between them and Fluttershy for a moment, before raising her hoof.

"C-Can I speak, please?" she asked shakily.

"You've got ten seconds." Fluttershy replied coldly, examining the chalk outline on the wall.

"Are we going to die?" Rarity asked silently.

Fluttershy snorted and chuckled as she touched a hoof to the chalk outline. Slowly, the outlined machine gun materialized through the wall and dropped into her hooves, a click echoing off of the walls as she steadied it. She turned to face her terrified friend.

"Yes." she said quietly, a sadistic grin on her face.

Rarity watched in silence as Fluttershy stepped slowly in front of the door frame and flipped a switch on the machine gun in her hooves, making sure it was ready to fire. She cleared her throat softly, eeping as a cough escaped her mouth, and raised a hoof to cover her mouth before looking to the crowd of zombies nervously. Without warning, an ear-piercing, bloodwrenching scream erupted from her throat as she pulled the trigger on the weapon, several booming shots flying from the machine gun's muzzle. Rarity screamed in fear and covered her ears with both hooves as Fluttershy stepped forward slowly, keeping her hoof held firmly on the trigger. One by one the zombies fell, their brains and innards splattering across each other as the glowing red eyes faded. Her scream continued until her voice scratched and ached for release, the string of fire suddenly ceasing as she coughed gently.

"O-Oh... I'm sorry." she said quietly.

She took a long, deep breath and continued screaming just as loud, pulling the trigger once more. The slaughter continued with full force, Fluttershy carving a clean groove into the massive horde of zombie-ponies without mercy. Each shot rocked her body with intense force, the machine gun kicking and slamming into her shoulder as it sent each and every zed back to hell.

After several minutes of intense slaughter, the gun ceased fire without Fluttershy's consent. She looked down to her hooves and growled. Running out of ammo was her least favorite thing to do. With a sigh, she looked back to the crowd and savagely threw it, cracking open a pony's skull as it connected with a sickening crack. She hurriedly trotted back to Rarity, who smiled in surprise.

"Did it work?! Are we safe?!" Rarity asked with a bright smile.

"No. Bad plan. I think I just pissed them off." Fluttershy replied, taking another drag from her cigar.

"What?! Fluttershy I thought!-"

Rarity was instanty silenced in her response as Fluttershy raised her hoof and prepared to slap. The fashionista cringed and shook her head.

"OK, OK! Well what do we do?!" Rarity asked.

Fluttershy looked around as the zombies stopped momentarily to mourn and weep their loved ones, and caught something in the corner of her eye. At the end of the hallway was a workbench, glowing against the darkness as a lamp above bathed it's wooden surface in light.

"I'm going to customize..." Fluttershy said, making her way across the hallway.

She turned around before reaching it and nodded her head to Rarity.

"You just... Find something... I guess."

Rarity nodded and began feverishly searching her surroundings, looking for a weapon.

As Fluttershy reached the workbench, she slammed both hooves on the table and cracked her neck... Then got to work. Sparks flew from the workbench as she began crafting her extreme weapon of death, along with the sound of a pounding hammer as she pounded in the nails of oppression and shit. It was beautiful, her hooves flowed like water as she worked, and a small bead of sweat formed on her brow. With swiftness, she wiped it away and continued her god-like crafting skills. Her mind raced and her eyes scanned every square inch of the bench's surface, looking for more additions to her weapon of mass destruction. After it was finally finished, a sinister grin split her lips, and she turned around to face her fashionista friend down the hall.

"It's complete." she said quietly.

Rarity looked up from tinkering with a small pistol in her hooves and quizzically tilted her head.

"What's complete, darling?" she asked.

With one swift movement, Fluttershy pulled the menacing weapon of death from behind her back, causing Rarity to nearly faint at it's appearance.

"W-What... What is it?" she asked in awe.

"It's... Uhh... Well I kinda like... Duct taped this like... Baseball Bat to a sledgehammer... And then just like... Duct taped nails to it... And then I duct taped a knife to that... And then I put a flashlight on it because like, I like to see in the dark and stuff... I'm pretty sure there's some shards of broken glass- OH! And I put some glitter on it to make it look pretty. There's some piranhas in a bowl somewhere... I think that's an elephant dildo... Just a lot of random objects that one would probably find in a resort or casino." Fluttershy replied happily.

Stunned, Rarity blinked and cleared her throat, presenting the pistol in her hooves.

"Well.. I found this and several rocks that look devilishly sadistic." she said with a smile.

Fluttershy nodded and walked back to the doorway. The two ponies stood in front of the horde as they conveniently finished mourning their dead-dead relatives, and were ready for blood, AND VENGANCE! Rarity's hooves shook around her pistol, her forehead covered in sweat. Fluttershy tightened her grip on the baseball bat with a bunch of other shit on it, grinding her teeth together in anticipation for the gruesome battle.

Without warning, Fluttershy flung the bat-thing over her shoulder, and charged forward with another blood-wrenching scream. Trying to follow suit, Rarity growled pathetically and aimed her pistol, and tried to charge forward as well. She didn't however, and remained perfectly still, her pistol fixated on the crowd. After several steps, Fluttershy stopped and looked back to Rarity, motioning for her to charge as well.

"I can't!" the fashionista replied in disbelief.

"What do you mean you can't?!" Fluttershy replied, anger in her voice.

"I just can't! It's as if I can't aim and move at the same time!"

"What kind of idiot makes it to where you can't aim and move at the same time?! That is legitimately the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my entire life!"

"Yeah, it is pretty dumb." one of the zomb-ponies called from the front of the crowd with a shrug.

Fluttershy pointed a hoof in the direction of the zombie and nodded.

"See, he gets it." she said curtly.

"I'm trying, ok?" Rarity replied, trying with all her might to move at least an inch forward.

It was a fruitless attempt. It's as if her hooves were literally glued to the floor every time she brought the pistol up.

"Can you maybe shoot and walk a little bit, and then shoot and walk a little bit?" another zombie called from further into the crowd.

"Well, I suppose so, but it'll be a bit of a hassle. Are all of you OK with it?" Rarity asked.

The zombies quickly conversed in quiet whispers between eachother before most of them nodded in agreement.

"OK. Then I shall do that... Uhh... HAVE AT THEE DEMONS!" Rarity shouted, dropping both hooves to her side and charging forward.

Fluttershy charged beside her as well, and clashed with the crowd of zombies, slamming her weapon of death into the first skull she saw, denting it profusely as she moved further into the crowd. Rarity stopped every few seconds to shoot a few rounds into the crowd, the pistol slugs diving through the zomb-ponies heads' like a knife through butter. Blood and bone flew through the air as the two ponies worked their way through the massive crowd, tossing corpses into the air like beachballs at Woodstock. After several minutes of vicious slaughter, Fluttershy's weapon suddenly snapped completely in half and disappeared.

"What?! There was no structural damage to it what so ever!" she said, staring in disbelief at her hooves.

Without warning, one of the vicious flesh-eaters grabbed onto Fluttershy's shoulders, trying with all of it's might to force her to the ground.

"Gah-! Rarity, help me!" Fluttershy screamed.

Rarity looked up from her pathetic spurts of shooting, walking, and shooting again. Then Walking. Then shooting. Then fucking walking. THEN FUCKING SHOOTING. THEN FUCKING WALKING. STUCK ON A FUCKING CONVEYOR BELT OF ANNOYANCE BECAUSE SOMEONE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING PROGRAM THE FUCKING OPTION TO WALK AND SHOOT AT THE SAME. FUCKING. TIME.

"No, Fluttershy!" she screamed in terror.

The fashionista looked slightly above the screaming pony and raised an eyebrow as the zomb-ponies continued approaching them.

"Quick Darling, Press A!" she called out, popping a few zeds.

"What the hell does that even mean?!" Fluttershy replied frantically, still struggling with the zombie gnawing at her.

"I have no idea, but there is a giant floating 'A' above your head, and I suggest you interact with it!"

Fluttershy, utterly confused, looked up to find that a large 'A' was in-fact, floating just in her reach. With one hoof held against her attacker's chest, she reached the other up towards the letter and smacked it with her hoof. It shattered on contact with a loud bursting sound, sending the attacking pony backwards and onto the ground.

"Rarity, did you fill the Jacuzzi with cocaine again?! None of this seems logical!" she called out as she resumed her slaughter with only two bare hooves, because she was that good.

"That was only one time, dear!" Rarity called back.

A pony quickly grabbed onto her shoulder from behind and attempted to pull her back with a vicious growl. The fashionista shoved her weight backwards and fell onto the zombie with a loud splat, rolling over and recovering quickly. Looking over her shoulder, she noticed it was covered in muck and blood.

"You know what?! No. I can't do this. No more. NO MORE! TELL ME WHERE THE EXIT IS NOW. I'M DONE!" Rarity shouted abruptly.

"Rarity, I don't think they're just going to tell us where the exit-" Fluttershy began.

She was cut off however as Rarity grabbed the nearest zombie by it's frazzled mane and pulled it closer to her. Every other walking corpse in the room stopped dead as the furious pony began pulling it's mane with all of her might. Bones in the zombie's neck began popping and crunching as a few quick seconds passed, the head eventually seceding from the rest of it's body. Rarity had successfully pulled the two apart and screamed in rage as she tossed the head into the crowd.

The horde of zombies cowered in fear as Rarity continued, reaching into the zomb-pony's open neck hole, and fished around for it's spine. Finding it, she ripped it out in one swift move, then tossed the remainder of the corpse to the ground. Then, proceeded to beat the zombie to death with it's own spine, screaming in a blood rage of anger, desperation, and a little bit of menstrual cramps. She eventually dropped the spine on the ground, breathing heavily. Causing the horde to back away slightly and create a dull roar of fear.

"Now. I'm not fucking around. SHOW ME THE EXIT." she screamed.

Every zombie instantly pointed their hoof towards two doors, glowing as a heavenly light was shined on them.

"Thank you, and good day." she said curtly.

Fluttershy watched with a jaw dropped as Rarity skipped towards the exit like Pinkie Pie, blissfully unaware of he grotesque, clearly M-Rated show she had just put on. She turned to the fearful horde and stuttered for a moment.

"I-I... I am so. Sorry. I swear she's never done something like this before." the pegasus said, shuffling nervously across the floor towards the two doors.

Saying nothing, she reached Rarity as the fashionista stared at the two doors.

"Wait a moment... Which is the right one?" she asked, touching a blood-stained white hoof to her chin.

Suddenly, the voice box dropped in front of them, crackling to life.

"Ah, now that is for you to decide! The left door is an exit... But the right door leads to the next level, then the next level after that. All seemingly connected through a story that makes absolutely no sense and can only be discovered through an extremely long and intricate series of tasks, each one seemingly harder than the next. In it's wake, a million YouTube channels, each one filled with horrible, illiterate people showing how they solved the so-called 'easter egg', trying to show you that they're really funny with their cheeky dialogue that they improvised. They didn't write a script. You can tell. We can all tell. You gave no preparation to this video whatsoever. Did you just plug in a mic and decide; 'hey, might as well show the world that I can't fucking public speak.' It's rather sad really, how-" the speaker box droned on.

"OK! Alrighty then, we'll be going. Left door was it? Thank you, and goodbye!" Rarity said, quickly pulling her friend along with her through the exit.

"Oh, alright then. I'll just go grab a gun and check my Subscriptions!" the voice box replied as they both left the room.

* * *

As the two cleaned themselves before exiting the spa, Rarity couldn't help but glance over to her friend several times. She was still devastated by what Fluttershy had said earlier, wondering if it was simply heat of the moment or something she actually meant. As the feelings bubbled inside of her, she took a deep breath as they walked along the sidewalk towards home.

"Were you serious, darling? About everything you said?" Rarity asked shamefully, quiet sadness in her voice.

Fluttershy stopped and turned to her friend, tilting her head slightly as a gentle smile cracked across her lips. With a sigh, she wrapped her hoof around Rarity's shoulder.

"Of course I did, Rarity. I meant every word!" she said, beginning to walk down the street again. "You're a terrible, awful excuse for a pony. One whom I'm sure we only keep around for your looks."

Rarity looked to the ground and began to cry silently as they walked.

"But hey, I'm sure you'll get laid someday, have a few babies with a father that will never pay foal-support, and die mostly alone with a cat that hates you." Fluttershy continued in a cheery tone.

By now, Rarity was openly sobbing. She was rocked over and over again with vicious sobs after hearing Fluttershy's hurtful words. The shy pegasus patted her back and smiled softly once more.

"Come now, it's OK. Let's head to Twilight's, she said something about a new computer she's gotten."

"A-A-A-Alright..." Rarity replied, sniffling and wiping her nose. "That could be fun."

Fluttershy nodded and pulled away from her friend, then took a few steps ahead.

"Just remember to say nothing, only stand there and look halfway-decent."

The End