Chapters Chapter 2: Revelations
Dear Princess Celestia,
Sometimes you have to trust your friends, even when you’re not sure if what they’re saying is right. Even when you’re dead sure it’s wrong and you want to bottle up everything and hide it away. When you don’t know what to do and you’re scared and feel alone your friends are there to help. I’ve had some of these feelings for a while now and finally decided to act on them. After a delightful lunch with my dear friend Applejack, she convinced me to say what’s on my mind. With that I’ve come to a conclusion.
I am no longer your student.
These friendship reports are the one avenue left between us and I would like to continue them, but I don’t see you as a teacher anymore. You are Princess Celestia. We won’t spend our days together in Canterlot with you showing me books, teaching me spells and being together in the library immersed in magical theory. I will miss those days, but they are far behind us. I am a pupil of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Nothing more.
Your Faithful Friend?
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. I have something to tell you. Something I’m ashamed of and need to get past. Please, I would really really really appreciate it if you came to the treehouse tomorrow at one hour after sunset for one last visit.
I’m sorry.
* * *
The single, ominous knock echoed within the full, yet silent, library. It could only belong to one pony. One Princess.
“Hold it!” Dash said, interrupting Twilight moving to answer the door. “Are you sure about this? I mean, we’ve all got your back, but is this what you want to do?” An apprehensive jitter stilted Dash’s words making her appear more nervous than Twilight. Twilight shared a look of assurance with Applejack.
“My feelings won’t stop until I get closure.” She said. With the support of her friends Twilight knew she could do anything, even face a great fear. She opened the door and bowed.
A glow of light filled the library as Princess Celestia entered, everypony except Twilight in awe of her presence. “Rise my little ponies,” she bid them.
“We’re here for you,” Dash whispered to Twilight. “Let’s do this.”
“You have something to say to me Twilight Sparkle?” The room lit with Celestia’s smile, but it felt wrong on her to Twilight, a mask.
One last deep breath, then it’s over, she thought. “Princess. We’ve spent a lot of time together. As your student I came to look forward to the evenings we would spend with one another more than anything else. Not only was I spending time with you but you encouraged me to learn and explore all new things and I liked that. I liked the way we would talk together and-” Twilight’s composure faltered. She was unable to meet the Sun Princess’s careful expression.
AJ, true to her word, was standing next to Twilight. “It’s okay Twi. We’re all here and that won’t be changing.” Her other friends crowded around her. “Go on ahead.”
She sniffled, continuing. “It was amazing. I mean, think of that? The Princess of Equestria taking all that time for me. E-even now.” That nasty stutter returned. “Even now it astounds me.”
“My dear Twi-” A raised purple hoof pressed against Celestia’s lips, silencing her. Twilight interrupting her mentor for the first time. She had to get it out; she had to get it all out while she still had the courage.
“There’s more,” she said, lowering her hoof. “As time wore on, you sent me to Ponyville, which has been,” a sob stuck in her throat and she looked at her close friends, “the best change of my life .” Smiles responded to her, warming her heart through her teary gaze.
“But our friendship didn’t end there. I would write you letters on the friendship I learned, you even came by and talked with me about them or about anything! You have entrusted me with saving the world from the God of Chaos. You have continued to tutor me in the most advanced magics there are.” Parting lips told Twilight that her princess was about to speak, but the goddess held her tongue and nodded, telling Twilight to finish.
Confessing to the Princess hurt. It felt as bad as she had feared, but it was also freeing to let loose secrets kept isolated in her heart. “I thought my feelings would change and by being further apart we could develop a professional relationship, but... but you’re in my head. I want to spend my evenings gazing at the stars with you. I want to learn all of magic with you. I want to make you laugh, make you happy. I want to spend quiet days sipping tea across from you.” Slowly it dawned on the other ponies: this wasn’t the gossipy crush of youth, rather Twilight was infatuated with the Sun Princess, and from the sound of things had been so for a very long time.
“I... I care for you Celestia.” Twilight wanted to scream it, but her confession came out a whisper. She admitted to herself her feelings, her desires and spoke them aloud. “Not as a student cares for her mentor or a pegasus cares for the sky, but how a pony holds that very special, perfect somepony in her heart.”
She couldn’t see through the tears anymore, though she didn’t have to. It was over. Her sobs carried on in silence and without dignity in front of her princess. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. The only sound was the pitter pat of the agonized pony’s tears hitting the floor.
Everypony wanted to go to her to comfort her, but Celestia was first. The Princess opened a wing and took her faithful student into a hug. “It’s okay Twilight.”
Celestia was warm. It felt so good feeling her warmth, even if Twilight felt as if she was a million miles away. It was obvious to all the ponies that this hug was an intimate moment.
“Um. I think,” Pinkie started.
“We should go,” Fluttershy finished.
“No.” Celestia’s word was command, always. “Twilight.” The nervous pony pulled herself out of the fluff and fuzz that was her crush’s chest. “I am very old.”
Twilight couldn’t help but laugh despite herself. “Well duh,” she said.
Her laugh was given a smile from the Princess. “Over the years quite a few students, guards, and even politicians have professed their adoration for me.” Ms. Sparkle nodded, receiving her lesson. Celestia lowered her head to be even with hers and it made Twilight want to do something to the close lips that she should not have wanted to do , she told herself.
“It all turns out the same; they fall for with the idea of me, the Perfect Princess.” The Princess said the last with an air of separation.
“You are perfect.” Twilight responded. Nods from the other ponies accompanied her sentiment.
Celestia rolled her eyes. Her faithful student, the best of a many pupils, was reduced to tears over a mask of perfection. The best of a great many, Celestia considered. Perhaps something she could give to Twilight would cheer the little pony up after all? “Twilight you are right about one thing: you are no longer my student.”
“Princess...” Twilight pleaded for it to not be true.
The Princess spread her wings, adopting the formal ‘royal Canterlot voice’. “Twilight Sparkle, I hereby declare you graduated from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, to be given all the rights, privileges, and certifications thereof. Including majors in advanced magical arts and magical theory, with a minor in friendship.” Contrary to her heart’s best efforts, Twilight was smiling. “Though you might be able to pick up a major in that if you continue to write me.”
Before she could react Twilight was covered in a hug. Pinkie, Rarity, Dash, everypony but the Princess. It was strange, she had never been happy and sad all at once before. “Thank you Princess, but... that’s not what I want.”
Experience told the Princess exactly what Twilight wanted. “You want to be my very special somepony? To stay with me for life?” A thick sarcastic drawl was hard to hold back, but Celestia didn’t want to hurt Twilight after all. She liked her faithful student, a title that would be hard for the princess to move past, and a callous reaction to her proteges’ confession was the last thing she wanted to do.
Surprisingly, Twilight shook her head. “No. I want to be over you. To move on.”
That was a wonderful revelation to Celestia, Twilight was truly the best pupil she could remember. She knew exactly what to do. “I have a solution for you my faithful student, but first.” She gestured to the decorations, food and games. “I believe there is a party to get to?”
Pinkie Pie’s heart stopped. Was Princess Celestia inviting herself to a party? With them ?
“Let’s get this party started!” Pinkie shouted.
* * *
The party didn’t go as anypony expected. Fluttershy took Rarity to the dance floor. Pinkie Pie, despite her earlier enthusiasm became lost in thought. She came to when the cupcakes were passed around, then told a story about her cutie mark that sounded much more like Equestrian history. Applejack showed the Princess how to square dance, while Rainbow competed for her attention with some pony punk.
All on her lonesome, as she often chose to be, Twilight spent most of the night resting on the balcony. She’d faced her fear, but her heart still ached.
Celestia snuck up on her. “You have a wonderful group of friends.”
A cold breeze wafted through the Princess’s hair, making it shimmer in the moonlight. Like star dust , Twilight thought. “Thanks.” Thanks for introducing me to them, for making me come here, for guiding my life. She couldn’t bring herself to move to properly face her heart’s captor.
“Get your affairs in order.” Celestia ordered without warning or anticipation.
‘You’re being expelled from Equestria,’ Twilight recoiled, exaggerating Celestia’s next words.
Celestia continued. “You are going to stay with me for two weeks to live how I live and see who I am.” Quick breaths, in, out, in, out, calm down Twilight , she hyperventilated, staring at the Princess. Too many shocks in one day was hazardous for a pony’s health. “After that we’ll talk again. If you still have your crush, I will be surprised my little pony.”
“O-okay.”
* * *
“Twilight, y’all there?” Applejack called. A crash and a loud bang came from inside the library. “Now what in the hay is that pony doing?” she muttered to her companion. There had been a bang yesterday too and none of it sat quite right with the cowpony.
“I think she’s fallen off her bed,” Rainbow responded from above her. “That’s what it sounds like.”
A mutter came from Inside the library and Twilight answered her door. Her mane was a mess, there were circles under her eyes, yet she looked better than the last time AJ had seen her. “Lunch was yesterday, wasn’t it Applejack?” She asked. “Oh... Hi Rainbow.” Under normal circumstances Dash wouldn’t be concerned to go unnoticed. Most earth ponies and unicorns didn’t think to look up to find a pony, but Twilight was usually the first to pick up on her presence.
“Of course it was, Sugarcube,” AJ answered. “But I thought I’d ah... return the hospitality.” Applejack nodded to the basket laden with apple fritters on her back.
The look on Twilight’s face was one of utmost gratitude. Her friends were there to provide support and it was just what she needed. “Come on in, girls.”
Lunch started with a relaxing lack of discussion while they munched on apple fritters still warm from the oven. To Twilight, who had forgotten to eat anything since last night, the fritters were more delicious than she remembered any fritter ever being. A tasty reminder that her friends were there for her.
Dash finished off her plate first. She looked to Applejack, then to Twilight, then to the extra fritters. “So...” The extras were shoved aside. She was there for her friend after all. “Why the big hubub yesterday?”
Twilight took her time finishing her last fritter so she could have the opportunity to think. Her words had to be just right. “I’ve dealt with this crush for a long time on my own. It’s more of a shame, but its been getting worse lately and distracting me from my studies. I want it to be over with, done, but... I don’t at the same time. It was time for some outside help.”
“A mite of this was of my doing Rainbow,” Applejack interjected. “I told Twilight to spill her feelings, though I didn’t rightly think it would be the Princess.”
“How could it not be her?” Twilight asked. “I’m surprised nopony else has fallen for her. How do you sit through a three hour lecture on magical binding properties and not feel light headed?”
Dash pulled on her eyelids, the thought of such a thing pushing her to sleep. “The Princess talks... for three hours?”
“Yes!” Twilight exclaimed. Upon seeing Dash’s grimace she thought perhaps she was a little biased. But there were more realistic reasons that she liked the Princess. “She also... She’s always treated me like a friend, Rainbow. She’s not the cold, calculating ruler that most ponies take her for.”
Her friends looked at her like she had said the sun raised independently of the Princess.
It meant too much to Twilight to let this go. “The Princess puts up different masks for different audiences: perfection, teacher, even manipulative. But as she’s instructed me Celestia has let these masks down for me. She’s given me nuzzles, hugs, even playful jostling. She thinks about my feelings before acting and I know she knows we’re close.”
“This is the Princess we’re talking about Twi,” Applejack pointed out. “Are ya sure you’re remembering things quite right?”
She let out an exasperated snort. “Yes!”
“No offense Twilight, but this doesn’t sound like any Princess I know,” Dash said.
“AUGH!” Twilight wanted to roll her eyes, stick out her tongue and facehoof all at once. What came out was the grumble of a tired pony. The arguments Dash and AJ presented were the same ones she had tried to use on herself time and again. “I know what you’re thinking,” Twilight said. “She’s the Princess, but that’s not how I see her. I know it should be, but this crush isn’t letting me think straight and now I have to spend two weeks with her and I don’t know how I’m going to do it without making everything worse.” The unicorn’s face tightened up again, relaxation lost as the worry of the last day returned. “What am I going to do?”
This was Applejack’s cue for advice, but surprisingly Rainbow was the first to chime in. “Pfft. You’re Twilight Sparkle, what’s the assignment ‘stay two weeks with the Princess’ going to do to you?”
“Assignment?” Twilight’s eyes lit up. Assignment! “Rainbow Dash you’re a genius!” That was it! All she had to do was focus on the task at hand and stay with Princess Celestia. She could set aside her goal of getting away from the crush because, after all, that was the Princess’s goal too.
Twilight caught Dash in a warm embrace.
* * *
Three days later
The wind was oddly silent in the pegasus chariot that carried Celestia and Twilight to Canterlot.
“Twilight, there are going to be a few rules.” Celestia looked ahead while she spoke. Caught in rapt attention, Twilight prepared her mental checklist. “First, you are not to leave my side for more than a bathroom break. Second, you are to call me Celestia. Not Princess, not Princess Celestia, don’t avoid my name either, not Sun Goddess, not Angel or Head of the Seven Armies, not highness or her royal anything. None of those.” Twilight’s rapidly increasing heart beat let her know she would be more than willing to follow these rules. “Hm... Maybe princess fluffybutt.”
An unsure laugh came from Twilight. It was met from a glare of disdain from Celestia.
“That’s another thing. Third, no more formality. No bowing, worshipping, or hiding your laughter. Chide me when I do something wrong, question me when I do something strange and call me out when I’m cruel or lying.”
Twilight couldn’t believe what she was hearing: the Princess, cruel? There was no way in Equestria she could be mean spirited.
“Fourth: no doting. I know you’re crushing but don’t treat me like an object. I still have my own mind.”
A perfect one , Twilight thought.
“What’s more...”
She isn’t done. Dear Celestia, she isn’t done! Twilight’s mental list was expanding faster than she’d anticipated, but she could keep up. She had to keep up: it was her assignment.
Celestia’s words continued to come with the dry tone of a memorized speech said many times before. “I will be using you as a diary of sorts and as such you’ll be more privy to more expressions, more thoughts and more reactions than anypony but Luna. This means two things: that you must react to these and treat me like any other pony and you must also keep the moments that would embarrass the crown a secret.”
Everything so far on Twilight’s checklist would have contradicted the idea of ‘Princess Celestia’ to any common pony, but all of it appeared normal to her. When will the ‘see who I am’ secrets be revealed? she wondered. In the meantime there was a pattern in the rules she was curious about. “Pr- Celestia?”
“Yes, diary?” Celestia still wouldn’t meet her eyes, always looking ahead.
The nickname made her twitch, but she let it pass for the moment. “These rules are things that a crush would want to do.”
Celestia smiled. “Exactly, my faithful student, the point is to show you how uncomfortable it becomes for you as you get to know me. After enough time with me, we’ll see if your crush remains.” The Princess’s expression changed from manipulation to realization. “Another rule, Twilight. Please continue your letters on friendship as you reside here.”
“I will Pr-”
“They keep me sane when I preside at court alone.” Celestia interrupted, shuddering.
Does court affect her that much? Twilight questioned.
The ever majestic Canterlot loomed before them, their vessel slowing. Celestia turned to her diary. “I expect these to take a while to internalize for you, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for you to do that quickly. You’ve always been a quick study.” Twilight melted at the compliment, but another pattern tickled the back of her brain. Ever since picking her up Celestia had been treating her differently, an object at some moments and a pupil at others, but never the friend that Twilight remembered. Perhaps she was imagining things. Celestia could never forget their friendship.
* * *
When they were teacher and pupil Twilight and Celestia would sit across from one another outside a Canterlot cafe, sipping tea and eating scones. It brought back memories to Twilight to be doing at a Canterlot cafe, eating across from her crush, though the Princess had ordered for her and was oddly silent.
So far her feelings hadn’t died down, and she tried to think very hard about how interesting the grass was right at that moment instead. Not the wind or how it was blowing through Celesita’s, through her, mane or the light and how it glinted off those mischievous eyes or the fact that she had just spent the last half hour walking directly behind her avoiding muscle studies.
“One more thing,” Celestia said between sips of peppermint tea, her eyes closed in regality.
More?! Room in her mental list was running low.
“You will call me Tia at least one third of the time, adding additional instances for each time you slip up and call me Princess or submit to formality or timidity.”
“Tias are equal to one third of all name calling plus one for each mistake: Check!” Twilight grinned, the math a welcome addition, easy to memorize.
Ah, Celestia took in her ‘pupil’s’ reaction, she thinks it an assignment? Twilight Sparkle: ever the student after all.
* * *
“Now Twilight, we are about to enter Canterlot court.” The great hall’s doors towered above them, Celestia instructing her ‘pupil’. “Spend the whole time looking at my face, don’t listen to the pleasantries or hear the words, look at my expressions.”
“Yes Cel-” Twilight began.
“Oh! And sit at my right side,” Celestia interrupted. ”They will hate that.” The large stone doors swayed open, guards flanking either side of the pair as they made their way forwards. Twilight was in awe, nodding at the representatives from all of Equestria as they sat around a large horseshoe shaped table. A magnificent pair of thrones stood at the center, Princess Luna sat on the left one, waiting.
Looking at her crush’s face and watching the ethereal breeze blow through her hair proved to be a greater distraction than sitting in Canterlot court for the first time. Was it getting hotter? Twilight shifted awkwardly.
As the court progressed she noticed something almost unexpected. Celestia’s regal appearance was a façade, the whole thing a show to keep up her royal duties. She reached this conclusion because Princess Celestia was making very subtle faces the whole time and while boredom was the most dominant there was the occasional eye roll or amusement hidden within the stoic mask. She broke the rules and hid her laughter as best she could. A magistrate asked for what was much too much money for a project and Celestia’s tongue entered her cheek while the Princess made a sardonic grin. Twilight snickered.
When her glance strayed to Princess luna Twilight saw there was more to it. Luna was responding to the subtle expressions with her own grins, squints and little shows of laughter. It was a game! To anypony further than a few feet away there were two composed rulers. The Princesses listened to their subjects, gave out decrees, and ran the kingdom. To the impromptu right hoof to the Sun of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle, there were two joking sisters who played games and made fun of politics in general.
There’s my princess, she thought.
It surprised Twilight to find out that Princess Luna was the more playful of the two, going as far as making impressions of a pony’s blowhardiness with mild gestures of her limbs and puffing out her cheeks. Princess Celestia would make expressions, but do little else. Her faces always had her playful humor about them, never insulting but often teasing and silly.
Three can play at this game , Twilight challenged herself. A pony asking for special tax exemptions came next and she nodded at his request, and nodded and nodded, playing on his overeagerness. Luna caught on and did the same, tongue puffing out her cheek ever so slightly. The royal duties were carried out and the Sun Princess regretfully denied his request, but in the interim she gave Twilight a look that was incredibly complex. If ‘I am going to have so much fun and you will regret it terribly’ could be bottled it would be that look. Twilight smirked, happy her challenge was accepted. Bring it on. Celestia.
A reasonable irrigation request was received next thus no special or exciting expressions came to the trio, though Luna did make a whistling face. With the next few ponies court passed with them continuing the game as before, but with the addition of Twilight playing off her mentor’s faces and giving reactions of her own. At first Celestia looked to be ignoring her, but after a well timed cough calling out an obvious lie, the Princess let loose a subtle smile.
The last speaker presented a unique opportunity. She was a female model asking for a private audience. Luna responded with a confused, ‘how did she get in here?’ look and Celestia’s answer was to make an ‘O’ shape with her lips.
Wait. O... Twilight thought, What does that- OHMYPRINCESS! She couldn’t hold back this laughter and it’s force caused her to roll around on the floor.
Celestia was impressed that her student wasn’t blushing at all to be acting like a foal in front of all the political minds of Equestria. Despite the Princess’s best efforts Twilight was not regretting her decision to join in nor the revelation that court wasn’t serious. Celestia considered that Twilight might be spared further embarrassment if she ended court and her heart relented to the idea.
“Court is dismissed.” Celestia said. The representatives shuffled out of the hall, many giving scornful looks to her pupil. She would have to deal with them later. Twilight may have been acting unprofessional but no one insulted her student in her court.
A loud cracking of joints derailed Celestia’s train of thought. Luna had stepped off her throne and stretched as if she had been there for a thousand years. “I wasn’t aware you were inviting guests dear sister.” She gave Twilight a courteous nod.
“She is my journal, of course.” Celestia responded.
Twilight squinted. The friend she thought she had regained in their silly antics had once more vanished. This mask was the tired ruler, she recognized.
“Another crush?” Even after hundreds of years, Luna knew the routine. The alicorn bent down to inspect Twilight closer, worry on her face. “Twilight Sparkle. I am sorry for what you’re about to go through.” She gave her sister a look that was difficult to read. Was it pity? Twilight couldn’t tell.
With court finished, Twilight put a mark on her mental assignment. Spend time with the Princess step 1: check.
* * *
Books were piled on books piled on books making Celestia’s private study look smaller than it was. It didn’t help that entire shelves were stacked together, as much as four bookcases thick, encasing the room in copious volumes of inaccessible literature. Adding to the mess in piles and corners were knickknacks and parchment. To Twilight the room looked more like a nest than a study.
Twilight crossed the threshold and was hit by the scent of dust and books. She inhaled with an acquired appreciation of the strange smell. “Princess- er. Tia. How long has it been since your study was organized?”
Celestia’s chest puffed up in bravado. “It’s plenty organized,” she lied.
“Uh-huh.” No it isn’t.
“I know where everything I want is. Also, that hesitation counts as a slip up.” Celestia let loose the snare to her mental trap. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” She had known Twilight would be put off by her mess, and the little pony choosing to hide her reaction rather than be open was another sign of her worship.
“Well T-t-tia.” Twilight had a hard time getting the nickname out. Fantasies where she called the Princess Tia had played in her mind, but they didn’t go at all like this, especially since there wasn’t an abacus around. “Judging by the level of decay, the status of the magic preservation enchantments and the style of the shelving, I would make an approximate guess and say it’s been 1,700 years since this room had anything resembling organization performed on it.”
“Hmm,” Celestia paused. “I do think you’re ri-”
“-and Luna was the one to do it.”
Twilight’s jab at her ego stung. She is enjoying this! Celestia thought, glaring at her pupil. The purple smirk in front of her was teasing her into reconsidering the ‘treat me like any other pony’ rule, but perhaps that was Twilight’s intent, she reasoned. To make Celestia uncomfortable so Twilight might go back to worshipping the ground she walked on. She scowled internally. She would not be bested by a mere mortal.
“Then clean it,” Celestia commanded.
“Can I!?! Oh please oh please oh please, yes yes yes!” Twilight started bouncing in a whirlwind around her, her merriment the exact opposite reaction than Celestia expected. The Princess had to hide a giggle. Of course Twilight would enjoy organizing books.
“Yes.” Celestia once again relented to giving in to Twilight over her original intentions, her scowl replaced by a gentle smile. “If you wish my faithful student.”
“I.” Twilight stopped and faced her to put on an air of sophistication, as much as she could with her tongue sticking out. “Am a graduate.” She bounded off like a foal, ending just short of making a literal dive into a book pile to instead raise it with magic and begin storting.
“Oh. Right. Yes.” The tinge of embarrassment in her cheeks was unfamiliar to Celestia. There was more embarrassment when between books and spells she caught glances, stares and outright lust-filled gazes towards her from her former pupil. Twilight was picking apart whole bookshelves and rearranging piles by Canterlot standard as if it was her chosen duty in life, however that didn’t stop her from continuing to dote , Celestia thought.
Princess Celestia sighed. She had hoped Twilight’s crush on her had moved on over the years. Of course she knew of it since day one. When first the little filly blushed at Celestia’s presence she saw the aching heart beneath. She had been working hard to try and show Twilight little truths about the harshness of immortality, her position, and her personality that would hopefully drive the filly away. Still Twilight persisted with emulation, constant giving of attention and seeking of approval. Over the years theirs had moved beyond a teacher and pupil or even mother and daughter relationship. Twilight responded to her lowering her barriers by working harder to impress Celestia in study. Always more work to do, more things to learn.
It gave Celestia great pause to consider: did Twilight work for herself or to impress Celestia? The Princess dreaded that what Twilight did, she did for her royal highness.
“Praise the sun and better thyself,” Celestia repeated the motto of an earlier Equestria.
“What was that?” From behind the walls of floating books came a hopeful query.
“Get me Mryrryth’s Guide on 7th Level Spells and Magicks.” Celestia covered her out loud reminiscing with the subject of her daily studies. An unfamiliar, dusty tome floated towards her from the ever increasing torrent of books.
“It’s a first edition.” Came Twilight’s answer before she asked. “Much more thorough.”
“Yes.” Celestia smiled. Silly Twilight. Silly, analytical, smart and helpful Twilight.
* * *
The pool at the luxury spa was the best place for gossip in Rarity’s opinion and if she wanted to know exactly why Fluttershy had made her little outburst the other night this was the time and place to do it. It may only have been the word ‘darn’, but Rarity knew Shy wasn’t the type of pony to say things lightly. Well, she said everything lightly, but there was weight behind her words.
“You can’t mean you want to date Twilight ?” Rarity asked.
Fluttershy fiddled with a lock of hair. “Well...”
“Don’t you think you two would make a cute little couple?” Maybe she was jumping to conclusions too fast but, really, they would.
“Um... actually... Rarity.”
“Ooo. I could make you matching outfits! It would be just darling.”
“Rarity.”
“Little maroon hats and booties you could wear in winter.” Unabated and unaware of Fluttershy’s quiet interruptions, the unicorn continued imagining what she could do for the potential couple, throwing herself far off track.
Fluttershy dropped the subject, resigning to being shipped. For the moment. She knew there was always a time and a place for her to speak her mind to Rarity, regardless of the unicorn’s gossipy nature. Rarity would listen well when Fluttershy chose to speak.
The ‘luxury treatment’ that Rarity always insisted on included a full body massage and while Fluttershy was skittish about it, it felt too good to pass up. On the table and covered in a nice warm blanket the knots and tension were churned away with caution and care. Fluttershy relaxed and melted at the experience while Rarity’s desire for conversation ebbed away and a blissful silence passed between them.
Shy’s thoughts turned back to Twilight. “I don’t think I want to be with Twilight,” she explained. “It would have just been, I mean... nice... to be liked like that.” A particular tight wing muscle released and she sighed.
“Aww.” Rarity cooed. With the mystery revealed, a little push in another direction was necessary to bring out the relationship secrets from Fluttershy. “I wouldn’t worry about it dear. You’re just the type of pony to attract a nice gentlecolt. Didn’t you have a number of suitors while you were modeling for Photo Finish?”
“Oh... well... yes,” Shy remembered, though it wasn’t pleasant. “But that was different. They were there for model Fluttershy, not crushing on... on me.”
“How long has it been since someone... you know?” The gossip side of the mare came out to play.
“Oh,” Shy balked, “I-I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Pleeeeeeeeeeaasssssssse?” Rarity pouted.
“Not. At. All.” Shy laughed. Someday she would tell Rarity more about her love life, but not today.
* * *
The once crowded study was now open with space, bookshelves arranged in a circle around a central point. The sparse furniture had been brought together into a personal study area and any book Celestia could want was cataloged and coded to exact Canterlot standards. She had to admit: this was much better.
“Not bad,” she said.
Twilight beamed. “Oh, and here’s the best part.” Celestia was guided to an ancient stone shelf where tomes and scrolls predating the library and Equestria were arranged by topic. “The rare book collection,” Twilight proudly introduced. “Um... I’d like to borrow a few of these, if you don’t mind.”
Something in the lower right caught the Princess’s eye. “I see your scrolls on the magic of friendship made it here.”
“Yes, about that...” Twilight blushed. “There isn’t a category in Canterlot standard on magic and friendship.” Her hooves worked over one another in nervous apprehension. “They didn’t fit in your study materials either.”
“It’s okay.” Celestia offered a regal smile. Was the friend back? Twilight dared to hope so. “But they belong in my studies.” Gingerly, Celestia took them in her mouth and placed them in a desk drawer next to her paperwork on the ongoings of Equestria. “They really do keep me sane.” The caution and care the Princess took into moving her letters by mouth touched Twilight, but this wasn’t her friend. This was a tired ruler, a Princess separate from her subjects.
No doting , Twilight reminded herself. No doting. No doting. Grahh! “W-why’s that Celestia?”
“Because.” Celestia’s rump hit the ground with a thud. She motioned for Twilight to join her. Studies of new drainage and architectural systems lay arranged in front of the two, but though the alicorn’s eyes lit upon them, it was as if she was looking through them. “It’s hard to remember.” Celestia sighed. “Being an immortal is the strangest experience. There’s no preparing for it.” Her words were heavy with age.
“Come.” She teleported, taking Twilight with her by force.
Unwilling and unprepared teleportation was not a pleasant experience. Twilight awoke dizzy, disconcerted and with a feeling of being ripped from her own body. They landed upon a tower balcony that overlooked the looming sunset.
Treat her like any other pony, Twilight reminded herself. “Ow. I’m sure you know what you’re doing but... that hurt. Tia.” Celestia didn’t show notice or care about the pain she inflicted, instead watching the sunset.
“When I was born, I knew everything.” Celestia’s horn lit with a magical glow, though she acted apathetic, the sunset ritual separated from her actions. “Or at least I thought I did.” A gentle nuzzle surprised and tickled Twilight with irradiating magic. Celestia was apologizing for her earlier discretion, the unicorn hoped, and not seeking hollow affections. “I had facts and figures. I knew everpony’s name and the layout of the world. The great works of art and literature were all there within me in stories, myths and histories. I knew the status of the world and-” The magic built up, cascading in gentle waves against Twilight. “When I got my cutie mark I ‘knew’ how to raise and lower the sun.” With a flash from Celestia and the setting sun, the night appeared.
The Princess turned and walked into the room behind them. Twilight followed, eager to learn the rest of her lesson, but taken aback by what else she saw. They were in Celestia’s private quarters, but barely anything was there. Just a pair of bookshelves, a bed, a mirror, and a private bath. She couldn’t even find Philomena’s cage. The architecture’s brilliant ornate stonework stood in stark contrast with the plain furnishings.
“I lived my first years much as any pony would,” Celestia continued, hunching over. She discarded her regalia, tossing the objects with disdain. “I played, I laughed, and I loved.” Her eyes squinted shut. “Oh how I loved.”
Any other pony would nuzzle her right? Twilight thought, That’s the thing to do. Yes. Twilight leaned against her and nuzzled her neck with care. “You never love with the same passion as you do the first time Diary. Enjoy this fulfillment, this trust, while you have it.” Celestia returned her nuzzle with mechanical politeness. Her words were close, intimate even, but she was talking to her diary, not her friend. Though it hurt, Twilight would listen. She would take her assignment.
“I don’t remember his name, but I remember his laugh and it was hearty and full all to the end,” She sighed deeply, reliving what she could. “When he passed it hurt like nothing ever hurt. In most lives that is the end, but such is not the fate for an immortal .” The last words were spat out like spoiled food. “Soon everyone passed. Friends I had known all my life faded away before me while I remained. Before I could blink no one could remember me as a child. No one could remember a time without a sun.” She crawled into bed, mane deflated and unkempt.
“Princess,”
“That’s Tia,” it was a plead for a forced affection. A welcome comfort, if meaningless.
“Tia.” Twilight’s whole heart was in the word and she hoped the Princess felt better for it. I had no idea. I didn’t think. I’m stupid and foolish. “I-I-If ARGH.” She cursed her stutter.
“Three more ‘Tia’s’ dear.” Though her voice held on to her pride, Celestia’s body collapsed into the blankets. “You’re getting bad at this.”
Twilight sat at her tired ruler’s bedside. She wanted nothing more than to hold Celestia, to brush her hair and tell her everything was going to be okay, regardless of the immortality’s endless truth. “If you tell me about it, I’ll remember Tia.”
Celestia stared. Didn’t Twilight understand? Was her worship so blind that she would still consider Celestia her princess even after this? “Stop loving me.”
“No.”
“You will.” The chill in her words made Twilight shiver. Sleep, not conversation became Celestia’s immediate priority and she covered herself in blankets to prove it.
The younger pony sat and thought. Immortality was a burden. When Celestia became attached to other ponies she was setting herself up for inevitable loss. The faces changed, friends died and Celestia's attachment would be replaced by empty bitterness. No matter how much Celestia cared for Twilight or could want to be with her the joys would end. Is that what she meant by those final, cold words? Twilight thought. That I’ll stop loving her when I die?
The thought hung like a stone in Twilight’s heart. Immortality means being abandoned by everyone. Absolutely everyone. Celestia lay still in her bed succumbing to sleep, but Twilight couldn’t bring herself to give in to the same luxury, instead taking a single grand hoof into a hug. “I’m here Celestia.” I may be gone tomorrow, but today...
“I’m here.”
She would hold on as long as she could. To heck with the crush, what Celestia needed was a friend.
* * *
A contrast of cold and warmth met Celestia as she awoke. Her left foreleg had been displaced, exposing her arm to the open air, but at its hoof sat a purple pony wrapping the hoof in a hug. Twilight was chanting something under her breath that Celestia couldn’t make out.
“All night?” Celestia asked, startling her hoofwarmer.
“Yes,” Twilight confessed. The strangest look met her eyes, a mix of contempt and pride warring for position in Celestia’s visage. Her chest suddenly felt colder as Celestia took back the hoof, the morning cold she had been standing in finally catching up to her. She shivered.
“No rest makes for an unwary diary.” Celestia rose, her royal mask donned once again.
Why does Celestia hide herself from me? Twilight asked herself. I don’t ask to be with her... just be here like she assigned and to be a friend like we’ve always been... Like I think we’ve always been. Am I wrong?
“I will raise the sun.” Her regalia replaced, the Princess advanced to the balcony. “Take my bed. The guard will alert you to my location when you wake and I trust your rest will not be excessive.” Celestia’s words hid a hypocritical bite, the suggestion of trust lost with the command of her intonation.
“But, Tia.”
“No more Tia’s Twilight. Only Celestia.” Twilight felt weak, another avenue of closeness turned off to her. Royal Celestia was here to stay, her friend long gone. “I expect your best this afternoon.”
“Yes, Celestia, but I want you to kno-”
The sun incarnate rose, taking flight.
I want you to know that I just want to be your friend. Twilight stared after her long after she passed. I’m sorry I love you.
Author's Note
Chapter 2. I will be updating on Fridays.
Chapter 3: Trust
Applejack fell on her back, struck silent and wide eyed by a purple explosion in her mailbox that both singed her hair and left a strange smell. The cowpony took great caution investigating her mailbox a second time and in its depths found a single cream scroll. When she recognized Twilight’s cutie mark as the seal a sigh escaped her lips.
“Well now.” She unravels it to read on the walk home. “Let’s see what all the fuss is about.”
Dear Applejack.
I hope this letter find you. At all. I picked up this spell from a book in Princess Celestia’s study and it takes quite the practical magic to pull it off without setting fire to anything, let alone to deliver quietly. If it works I should be able to make it much quieter in the future but there will be a bit of an fire on your side so I can double check the first transport.
AJ tsked. That pony could do more magic than Applejack had ever seen and yet she was always worried that it wouldn’t work for some reason or another.
The Princess asked that I continue my letters on friendship while away, however she technically never specified who to give them to and I want to surprise her with all I’ve learned when I leave. Since we talked before and after my confession, I decided you would be first to write to.
So what have I learned about friendship? A friend in need is someone you can be there for. You can’t do a lot else without their consent. Princess Celestia is lonely and while she thinks I don’t know, I can see the ache in her voice and her tired walk. I see her as I would any other pony. She is a pony, Applejack and similar to you or me she eats hay, laughs at a good joke, and snores something awful. For the grand guise of being a matriarch she dons a mask of perfection that you and Rainbow are so used to but I don’t think she’s aware of how much it’s cracked over the years. I recall tea parties where she would tell a joke or share a secret and now she acts as if it never happened. She was my friend, Applejack and crush or no, I want to help that friend. I want her to be happy and I’ll be there for her to that end.
Your Faithful Friend,
Twilight Sparkle
“Well... ain’t that something.” Applejack hadn’t made it very far from her mailbox before becoming immersed in the letter. There were more apples to buck and another day to get through, but maybe first she would see how Rainbow and Pinkie were doing.
* * *
It was a strange sensation for Twilight to awaken in the Princess’s bed and her first reaction was to revel in the leftover warmth and scents from the sun goddess. Was that weird? Creepy? Yes, definitely , she thought, but she didn’t care. It was her presence that Twilight was surrounded by and she revelled in every second of it.
With a start Twilight remembered she was supposed to be there, next to the princess and covers flew off the bed. The smell of unwashed pony filled her nostrils. Oh... that’s me... She took a quick shower, trying to not take time to enjoy the sensation of warm water cascading over her, to not smell the fancy soaps that Celestia kept around, and to not smile that she was showering in her crush’s bedroom. She failed.
More than a little later she cracked open the bedroom door. “Excuse me, sir?” The guard stationed outside nodded at her presence, motioning for her to follow in silence.
Canterlot guards were expressly warned against any kind of tomfoolery while on duty and thus often made quiet traveling companions. An old memory came to Twilight. Herself as a young filly had offered a guard a flower which she had summoned herself. She laughed, it had been her very first summoning lesson and she had been so proud . There had been no response from the guard until Princess Celestia gave orders for him to drop the stoic behavior. He had accepted like a gentlecolt. While little else came of the incident, occasionally a similar flower ended up in her desert whenever she ordered in when up late studying. Twilight liked to think it wasn’t a coincidence.
For this guard though, Twilight put up the regal mask and royal canter just like her princess. There wouldn’t be a fuss or mention of Twilight Sparkle staying in the royal quarters as long as she acted professional about it, she thought. After thirteen nights perhaps rumors would start, but Twilight would deal with that when the time came, if Celestia even welcomed Twilight back into her... I was in her bed, she thought. Twilight maintained her composure of professionalism though her thoughts became anything but.
“Thank you sir.” She offered a formal bow to her guide at the end of their journey. A familiar entryway led her into the gardens where Princess Celestia entertained guests and took her afternoon tea.
When she saw them, her shock made time stand still.
* * *
Earlier that day Celestia spread her wings and let out a great burst of energy, giving herself to the freedom of the skies and away from her bedroom. Twilight’s hoof-holding had left a sour taste in her mouth and it bothered her that she couldn’t place why. It wasn’t that Twilight was doting, because it did and didn’t feel like doting. Celestia’s worry made her eager for the release the open air offered. Later. She would figure her feelings out later.
Today’s duties consisted of two delegations, judging some sort of contest, and an ambassador or two to receive. They were everyday duties that she could delegate to somepony else, even a low level magistrate, but she always found an excuse to do them. Something had to fill her days and her work was already her life, or so she justified.
Alone, quiet and with nothing but the wind in her ears, flight was her release from duty. A pegasus would flitter by from time to time but few ever dared to interrupt. On the streets there were regular bows, interruptions and requests, but not here, not in her sky.
What to do about Twilight Sparkle? Celestia began. Ms. Sparkle, an adult pony in her own right, was deluded. Smart, brilliant even, but deluded. I am the perfect pony to her. Like I am to all too many, she thought. Her wings took her higher and Canterlot spread out below her, looking smaller and smaller as the chill air bit at her skin and frosted over her breath. Still she rose higher, above the reach of any earth pony, unicorn, or pegasus. Her alicorn form allowed for this one freedom, at least.
Celestia had hoped to let her diary off easy by revealing the burden of immortality and then that would be the end of it, just like others before Twilight. But she had stayed. Worse than that she had blindly given in to comfort. Celestia’s next step of cold, cruel calculations that were everyday politics could shock her, but she had already seen the manipulations in court and hadn’t batted an eye. No. Her faithful ex-student required special attention. A certain meeting came to Celestia’s mind and the beginnings of a trap laid in her mind.
The Princess peaked in her flight, wings still for the barest moment before clapping them to her sides for a tremendous dive.
One more mask to take off and another pain to give , Celestia thought.
* * *
Back in the present Twilight stared, aghast at the scene laid out before her. Birds still insisted on singing and the bright and cheery afternoon carried on all despite the strange sight of ponies doubled. Princess Celestia was sitting quietly and sipping tea across from none other than Princess Celestia.
It wasn’t a spell, Twilight thought. She couldn’t find any illusions, and the only magical enchantments were those each Celestia used to grip their cups.
“Twilight!” An excited, happy Princess bounded over to her. Her heart stopped. Did Celestia like her? Could she possibly... A realization chilled her to her bones. This wasn’t her princess and Celestia would never bound to her.
“Queen Chrysalis.” Twilight offered a stiff, brittle bow. If the Princess was entertaining tea with Chrysalis, then there wasn’t a threat but this wouldn’t make sharing company with the queen any more pleasant.
A tsk responded to her quick discovery. It soon burst into a reverberating, all too familiar, laugh. Green flames licked at the Not-Celestia’s skin, peeling it away to reveal the insect queen beneath. “Oh she is good Celestia.” The piercing laugh continued.
Twilight took to the Princess’s right side and glared. “What is it doing here?”
Celestia’s teacup clinked softly and in keeping with her royal demeanor she nodded softly, acknowledging Twilight’s existence. “Queen Chrysalis is here to discuss the confidential terms of changeling migration and refugees. In keeping with such they are moving to Equestria.”
No. No, this is not okay, Twilight thought. “Are you insane?” She yelled at Celestia. “Chrysalis tried to take over Equestria! She can’t be trusted. She’s laying some sort of trap to steal love from citizens or wrestle power away from you or something! ” If Twilight were less controlled her magic would be making sparks shoot from her horn, though as it was her hair stood on end and her words were sharp with anger.
Celestia gave Chrysalis a ‘shall you or shall I?’ look. The changeling nodded her willingness to give the lecture, albeit in her own way.
“Do you want a war Ms. Sparkle?” Chrysalis smiled. “Because I would so enjoy that.” A tentacle of green light flowed from Twilight to Chrysalis and she tilted her head to drink in it’s energy.
”We feed off hate too my little pony. Though it does have its,” she peeled off a chunk of flesh with the casualness that one associates with brushing off snow, “corrupting influences.”
Twilight had a difficult time holding back her contempt and in the end chose not to, turning to her once mentor. “But how, why? She is evil Princess, don’t you see that?”
“Celestia is the name, Twilight, we’ve been over this.” The glare from the sun goddess could have pierced stone yet Twilight stood her ground, glaring back with equal intensity.
A sigh sounding much more like the breaking of old wood came from Chrysalis, separating Twilight from her emotions. “We are parasites,” Chrysalis began. She continued to take her tea despite that it was devoid of substance for her, liquid pouring out of various holes. “We hunt, deceive and feed off the real” She smiled, a warped, wicked smile. “And I love it so.”
“But.” Celestia said, prompting an actual explanation.
Chrysalis relented, falling in on herself. “But when your Prin-cess caught us sneaking in at the badlands border in preparation for another coup, she did not see us as you so obviously do. She offered us accomodation.” With another sip steam came out the holes in her neck. “She offers us life.”
It dawned on Twilight; they didn’t have a choice in hunting for love. It was the only way for them to survive. They at least deserved life, right?
Celestia continued her talk where the student had so rudely interrupted. “In exchange for giving us magic that will immediately identify a changed changeling and public awareness of their abilities and possible, but non threatening, presence...” She trailed off, intentionally leaving pause for her companion to fill.
“We, the Changeling Empire,” Chrysalis continued, “will be allowed to mimic immigrating ponies from the Crystal Empire.” Flames burst again from Chrysalis and her body twisted into a resplendent crystal unicorn. “And find our own loves within Equestria.”
The rules were set, the game simple and the politics came together like so many puzzle pieces to Twilight. This was a peaceful compromise: one that both rulers could agree on. While neither party was exactly happy about the arrangement it meant less conflict on either side than an all out war.
“You’ve forgotten one little detail,” Celestia said. “Any changeling found replacing a known pony faces death.”
Or perhaps not so peaceful. It had been eons since capital punishment had been in Equestria and Twilight wondered if Celestia would ever have the stomach to carry through.
With a grin and eyes that were open too wide to be real Chrysalis leaned forward. “Is there nothing I can do to change your mind on this my queen ?” Her last word was thick with sarcasm. “It is, after all, a part of our nature.”
The princess remained unmoved. “Change into whomever you wish, but do not take their place. Each will be judged by a juried court, but I’m sure with the proper incentive , there will be no incidents?” She stood, signifying that the meeting, as far as Celestia was concerned, was over. Anything left was a pleasantry.
Chrysalis’s head lowered to her chest, the queen’s false bravado fading once again. “We are tired of running Celestia. It has been a long time. We will be happy to have a welcome home where we can be fed... and-”
“be loved,” Twilight finished, her comprehension complete. Chrysalis grimaced, lighting her fire to once again shift back into a visage of Celestia. The queen was not about to waste this opportunity to pick at the foes that defeated her.
“This is why you asked me to become you,” Chrysalis teased. ”Oh Celestia, you are a mean one.” She lept to Twilight with unbridled glee, the younger pony sticking to her ground, staring down the Not-Celestia. “How long has she been pining away for you, hm? How long did you keep her in the dark that you knew ?” Realization came to the unicorn and she turned away. Chrysalis smiled, still reading Twilight’s face. “Oh, you made her tell you... thinking foolishly that she could come to terms on her own, but you knew all along, didn’t you Princess ?”
A controlled rage boiled within Celestia, but she remained silent, waiting as was proper for her guest to depart.
Chrysalis cackled, grinning in Twilight’s face. “I should thank you for the meal, Celestia. Or is it Tia? That brief moment of time when she fooled herself into thinking you would bound into her arms will sustain me for weeks.” A napkin raised to Not-Celestia’s lips and she wiped them, feigning manners. “I do suppose I owe you something for that. Hmm...” She cackled. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. How does that sound?”
Celestia’s manners all but disappeared as she stepped forward. “That is enough Chrysalis. You’ve had your fun and our business is concluded.”
“Are you sure?” Not-Celestia continued. “It’s a good one, Celest-Tia.” The Princess did not respond.
“Tell me,” Twilight broke her silence to ask. Even being in the presence of a bitter foe wasn’t enough to quell her thirst for knowledge.
Chrysalis grinned, a frightening expression on Celestia’s false face. Her game was won. “The secret, my dear, is that she would brave the Gates of Tartarus for you. ”
“I already knew that, queen.” Celestia allowed herself a snort.
A terrible, guttural snickering came from Chrysalis and continued until it had risen into full blown maniacal laughter, her body returning to as normal as changelings ever were. “No, you don’t.”
The queen turned to confront Twilight one last time. “Let me know if you ever want a substitute, little pony. We could have great fun together .” She winked, taking to the skies and away from the gardens.
There was no easy way for either pony left to come to terms with what had progressed. Celestia took Twilight out of the gardens and they walked in silence.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier,” Twilight mumbled, missing the point entirely wherein Celestia used her as changeling food. Yelling at the Princess hadn’t been something she planned and that certainly wasn’t a friendly thing to do. Though the Princess wasn’t her friend, that was no reason she couldn’t be a friend to the Princess. That wasn’t against her assignment, right?
“I said no doting Twilight.” Celestia commanded her in a royal tone, walking ahead, not meeting her eyes, nor acknowledging the meaning of her words.
Twilight could stand being used as changeling food. She could be polite to an enemy. She could even get used to being drug around like a shadow. But Celestia treating her as if they had never shared a secret and instead dismissing her friendship as ‘doting’ was too much. This wasn’t an assignment at all. It was an annulment of everything she knew the Princess was. She bit her lip, hanging on to one last thread of control. Celestia had their friendship at heart, she had to trust that.
“Dear Diary-” Celestia began, eradicating any idea of friendship from Twilights mind.
Twilight’s control snapped for a split second. A bolt of electricity shot from her horn towards Celestia’s royal rump. The thought of doing such a thing that was completely out of character for Twilight was so far from Celestia’s mind that the Princess didn’t see it coming. She yelped like a foal, falling over herself in a crumpled mess.
The unicorn’s rage continued. “You also said.” Twilight towered over her. ”Treat you like any normal pony, and I don’t know about you anymore but I apologize to my friends .”
Celestia was silent.
Twilight’s eyes went wide, realizing exactly what she had done. Her words came out stuttering and stammering, apologizing as profusely as she could. Cowering in resignation, she offered Celestia a hoof up which the alicorn took in silence. “Are you alright?”
For her part the Princess could not comprehend what had just happened, only that it was something very strange which caused her to limp down the hallway. She would wrap her head around it later. Like her feelings, it came later.
“Come,” she commanded. Twilight followed.
* * *
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Wait... what was her name doing in a Daring Do book and why was it in a funny hoof-written text? Slowly Rainbow came out from under reading’s spell to see a new piece of parchment sitting atop the page.
Oh, Twilight’s letter, she thought. Didn’t Applejack mention something about Twilight sending letters? While it was tempting to finish another chapter of Daring Do and the Order of Dragons, she set the book down. Twilight could need her help, after all.
Sometimes it’s hard to trust that a friend has your best intentions at heart. Especially when you don’t understand what they’re doing or why.
Just friendship stuff. One more chapter, Rainbow decided.
Daring Do stood at the chamber’s heart and looked the fierce bird in the eyes. “Your tacky tricks won’t work on me anymore Ali Zoran, for I have the magic of friendship!”
Now Rainbow Dash may have been new to reading, but that sounded entirely too corny to come from a Daring Do book. She read it again to see her book said ‘the dragon’s heart’ instead. It was so much cooler than the magic of friendship, but Twilight’s letter did kinda tug at her curiosity. She unraveled it again.
But it’s important to trust your friends and try to understand them. Princess Celestia works hard for the safety of the kingdom and that’s never come into question, but there are times when what she does doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s easy to get stuck in stubborn patterns and trusting a friend can help you out of that. I can only hope that Celestia will put her trust into me so that we can move past this separation she’s put on our friendship. I trusted her today. It took a queen and a princess to remind me that ponies aren’t the only important creatures in the world. An important lesson.
However, I also didn’t trust the Princess today. I don’t know what she’s planning but this isn’t her. It can’t be. At least, I really hope this isn’t what she meant by ‘see who I am’. I’ve always considered Princess Celestia to be a close friend as well as a mentor and now I worry if she ever felt the same. Empirical evidence says so: we’ve shared too much. But I still worry.
This isn’t an assignment. I don’t know what it is but I’m going to try and figure it out, for myself and for her.
Your Faithful Friend,
Twilight Sparkle
The book looked so appealing to Dash with its promise of adventure, but Pinkie Pie had invited her to bake this afternoon to ‘get her out of those dusty old books’. Then again Daring Do was soooo close to using the heart and then the council would... she bit her lip.
“I’ll be back for you,” she said to her precious, taking flight. Maybe Pinkie would let her make a Daring Do cake.
Another parchment flashed before her eyes.
P.S.
I need a favor...
* * *
Her private audience with the ‘Very Important Pony Unicorn League’ had turned into a debacle of models parading around Celestia as if their name was true. She stuck out her tongue, safe from prying eyes in Canterlot’s Archives. The recent bad memory was cast aside by the pleasant scent of the fire and spice of magic. She came upon her former pupil hard at work, books, diagrams and parchment sprawled out before the unicorn. Twilight’s magic always had a hint of cinnamon and ginger to it, Celestia remembered, inhaling the fresh scent. The Princess smiled at the nostalgia the scene brought. Canterlot’s Archives were also Twilight’s practice zone and while that was unusual, library patrons had gotten so used to seeing her there that they didn’t pay her spells any mind.
Celestia said nothing, watching her once student analyze and comprehend. Instead of offering a greeting, Twilight only glanced at Celestia before returning to her studies.
“The enchanting of crystals for the permanent encasement of spells.” Twilight answered the unasked question. “I’m not convinced that it takes more than one pony, let alone the hundreds described in the creation of the Elements of Harmony.” Dust floated away from the pages of yet another long forgotten tome being brought to light by the studious mare. Celestia listened, amused.
“It’s a matter of structure, like all spells, and not power which is what most ponies assume. All this is based off of what you’re trying to accomplish, which is described as a brute force technique. I believe this is incorrect and has nothing at all to do with the final pro- Celestia, are you laughing?” Celestia stopped, but the damage was done. ”This is serious business!” It was so unexpected and pleasant to catch her princess smiling that Twilight forgot to be grumpy at being laughed at.
A soft, gentle nuzzle met Twilight’s rambling, yet when she tried to return it Celestia shyed away. “Are you ready for bed my little pony?” the Princess queried.
“What, it’s not even-” Twilight moved to gesture to the window, but was interrupted by the moon high in the sky. “Dark.” She grinned sheepishly at her mistake.
Her study materials were put away each in their respective receptacle, Celestia aiding her in her organization. Once finished, she trotted alongside her princess. “Celestia, where am I staying?”
“With me, dear diary.” Again, no eye contact while the Princess gave orders.
Twilight froze. This wasn’t friendship and certainly not the openness of ‘live how I live’ that Celestia had espoused, but cold objectification. The soft nuzzle that just happened forgotten.
Point out her cruelty, she remembered, trusting Celestia’s orders. “I don’t like when you call me that. You’re being mean.” Hoofsteps passed by her in silence. Celestia would not join her in confrontation. Twilight entertained the notion of giving her Princess another shock to the rump, but dismissed it outright. That slip up was behind her, even though frustration now brimmed within.
They traveled to the royal quarters, the door shutting behind them with an ominous thud. The Princess and her diary were locked inside. An outburst of emotion filled Twilight on how she didn’t want to follow these rules anymore, how this couldn’t be Celestia, but she remained silent.
The Princess set aside her crown with much more care than the previous night. “I like this work.” Celestia broke the long silence. “I get to fix problems, make peace and play my wits against the world.” Twilight remained still as Celestia settled into her bed. “Dear Diary-”
“No.” Twilight defied her princess. “We’re not playing that game anymore. I am not an object .”
“You agreed to the rules,” Celestia sang.
Twilight thought. Her strength was that she could reason and so she took her time to put together the words to match her intention.
After an exchange of glowers with Celestia she broke the silence. “I agreed to treat you like any other pony. I expect the same from you.” She inhaled, preparing for her speech. ”I expect the same Celestia that laughs when I trip and fall to be the same pony who would help me up afterwards. I expect the same Celestia that would rock me to sleep to be the same pony that pushed me harder and harder when learning, never letting it be enough. I expect the same pony that manipulates politics to her ends to be the same pony that has good reasons for everything she does. I expect the pony that played her wits against mine at every turn to be the same pony that used those wits to play. I expect my friend. I don’t expect this because I care for you. I care for you because I can expect these things from you.”
Twilight could tell the princess wanted to say something, to lash out and respond, but she was biting her tongue, squinting from her bed. Their mutual stares continued until Twilight took the opposite side of the mattress and hid beneath the covers.
Celestia stared into space. This had been a very strange day for the Princess ever since her companion had come into it. First, Twilight had ignored her intended cruelty of using the unicorn for changeling food. Then she had been shocked onto her rump and yelled at, not for being an manipulative ruler, which had been her plan, but for being an unkind friend. After that her heart wouldn’t let go of her memories of Twilight, pouring over every moment they shared in study and... play. So scared was Celestia’s response to this adoration for her student, former student, that she had shut off her heart. Celestia had stuck to her thoughts of driving the pony away to a fault.
To a great fault , she chided herself. Her intention was to show herself , after all, not a cruel facsimile.
Celestia looked over at her companion. “You’re right Twilight, I’m sorry.” The Princess of the Day was not cruel, not even enough to push away a little pony.
Twilight slept. She never felt the peck on her cheek.
Chapter 4: Night
Feathers were everywhere: in her mouth, up her nose and smacking her in the side. Before Twilight could react she was hit again by a thrashing wing, throwing her off the bed. She hit the floor with a dull thud.
“Ow.”
Spitting out the taste of down and feather, she stood up. More curious and tired than upset, Twilight leaned in to inspect her companion. Celestia was thrashing and twisting in her sleep, her face pained. Twilight thought about waking her up...
“Cough.”
In the fog of sleep Twilight turned to see Nightmare Moon right behind her, so she did what came naturally to her and investigated her suspicions. It was Princess Luna. “You.” Twilight shook her head, clearing out the cobwebs. “You know you’re not supposed to say ‘cough’ right?”
“It seemed appropriate.” Luna said suppressing a laugh. “A joke, we think.”
“I thought you were done with the royal ‘we’?” Twilight asked. The more pressing issue of Celestia’s thrashing was set to the side, for the moment. Though Luna seemed unconcerned, it stayed on Twilight’s mental list.
“We enjoy our prose.” Luna gestured with grand intent, her tongue sticking out. “And those with whom we might share it with.” She gave Twilight a wink and without warning kidnapped Twilight in her magic, trapping the young pony in a firm hug.
A very firm hug. So much so that Twilight was starting to get uncomfortable. “Um. Princess?”
“We apologize.” After a quick squeeze she was let go. “We- I wanted to greet you in such a manner since you arrived. It has been a long time since we have seen you. It has also been a long time since we have seen our sister so happy and we wished to express our gratitude.”
“Um.” Twilight’s ‘really?’ face reminded Luna that there was still the problem of the nightmare laden mare before them. “Happy?”
Princess Luna looked surprised, as if the anguish Celestia was experiencing was a new revelation. The night incarnate decided to change topics by not changing topics. “Allow us to explain. She has told you what it means to be an immortal?”
“Yes.” Twilight nodded, then thought back to the night before. “Maybe, I’m not sure. We may have gotten off topic.”
A thin trail of blue magic spread out from Luna, caressing Celestia and showing care for her sister. “A normal life is a very long time, Twilight. Time enough to make friends, loves, and know loss. Plenty of time to get lost within one’s self and to come back out again and again.” With the gentle touch of her sister’s magic, Celestia’s thrashing eased, her expressions of strain and effort remaining.
“No pony should ever know the horrors of war, but some do,” Luna continued. “No pony should ever see their friends die, but many do. No pony should outlive the love of their life.”
“But Celestia has” Twilight finished, putting the pieces together. “All of those, over and over.” Her empathy for her princess was growing by the day and it was not helping her get over her crush at all.
“She has taken a love three times,” Luna stated. “If she did not during my long absence.”
“There isn’t any mention of it in the history books.” Twilight would know: she’d checked.
“There would be mention if she had my little pony.” Luna laughed, an unexpected comfort for Twilight. Silver bubbles of magic flowed out the alicorn’s horn in time with her laughs, disappearing into Celestia. The Princess’s face relaxed.
Twilight’s head told her she should be excited to be learning so much and seeing dream magic before her eyes, but her heart was becoming more and more distressed. Luna took Twilight in her wing, this hug more expected and welcome than the last.
“Celestia and I have each taken to immortality in different ways,” Luna continued. “She has a difficult time remembering and while it keeps her experiences fresh and new, she feels very guilty for forgetting and is left with voids where there were once memories of friends. I worry the most about how this plagued her while I was gone.”
Different types of immortality flew through Twilight’s thoughts. Was there always a weakness? Or was weakness even the right term? Could it be a personality trait? She turned to Luna, looking up from under the Princess’s wing. “If she can’t remember, what can’t you do?”
Luna tittered. “Ah, but it is not that I can’t, it’s that I do remember. I remember everything. I can still remember the way mother’s hair floated in the wind when she said goodbye. The names of every pony who has come close to me, and every secret and hope I once held dear are right next to what I had for breakfast today.” As soon as her words turned to herself the Princess held on close to Twilight. “My burden often attaches me to the past and I forget about the present.”
Even socially awkward Twilight knew when to give out a hug and she held Luna tight. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“Which is why you’re so special Ms. Sparkle.” Luna whispered. ”Celestia wrote me letters while I was gone, so many that I’ve barely had time to scratch at their number, and now you write to her. You are her closest friend.”
Am I? Twilight thought. It certainly hadn’t felt like it the last couple days. “Why am I here Luna?”
“It’s a test,” The night responded. ”An absurd, but effective one. In the past when ponies have declared their adoration for Celestia she has done much the same as now, taken them close and watched them fall away from her.”
“But-” Her eyes watered. “Then why does she push me away? Why does she ignore our friendship?”
The wing around Twilight caressed her lightly and luna met her eyes, an unexpected and gentle smile on the Princess’s face. “The other part of her test is to allow Celestia to determine what she feels for you, but it seems she has forgotten that part.”
“A-a-and-” Twilight wanted to strangle her stutter. “And if she doesn’t care for me?”
Luna’s laugh was so loud that Twilight worried Celestia would waken, but her princess didn’t stir. On the contrary, the bubbles of magic flowed from Luna again, causing Celestia to relax into a deep slumber.
“Twilight Sparkle, thou art a brilliant, dense star.”
Before Twilight could respond the balcony terrace shuddered with a great THUMP .
Special moment cast aside, Luna’s defensive shield immediately surrounded the three ponies. Celestia stayed in her peaceful sleep.
Upon investigation Twilight blushed nervously. The cause of the noise had been an oven, three bags of flour, eggs and various other cooking devices and ingredients along with a very plain wooden box. They had fallen on the terrace after being teleported in green smoke. “I wanted Spike to deliver me something in secret. I only asked for one thing, but I think Pinkie Pie might be involved.”
“I see...” A happy shine glossed over Luna’s eyes. “This might be to our advantage.”
* * *
A pleasant scent teased Celestia to consciousness. The smell of baked bread and confectionary filling her nostrils set her mind at ease as the sunlight warmed her fur. Sunlight!? Sleep’s spell was broken by her inability to set her duties to ‘off’. That’s my job. “Luna! What is the meaning of-” Though she wore her royal voice, yelling proved impossible. She was sleepy, unable to see, grumpy, but oh so happy to think about eating freshly baked goods.
“Good morning, sister.” Princess Luna’s chipper voice greeted. Her kind smile was Celestia’s waking vision. “You looked tired last night so I took the liberty of raising the morning sun, but now you better rise and shine if you want some muffins!” Explaining herself wasn’t as important important to Princess Luna as continuing to bake, thus she excused herself to go back to the terrace.
In stark contrast to Celestia’s memory of the night before there was now a makeshift kitchen upon her balcony. This food, the surprise of her sister, and a morning with ponies that welcomed her was not at all what she had expected after last night. Twilight surprising her made her uncomfortable, doubly so because it had become a regular occurrence.
“I mph mnphmks,” Twilight spoke around a cupcake pan laden with tasty treats. She set the pan down on her bed with a grin. “Do you want some?”
Her faithful student looked the worse for wear, being covered in powders and sleepless, yet strangely gleeful. The apron tied around Twilight’s front, the cupcakes laid upon the bed, and her former pupil’s large, hopeful eyes made Celestia’s heart titter at the cuteness. She had to keep herself from leaning forward and taking a nibble. “Twilight-”
“We need to talk.” Twilight said it first, though her face was happy for a pony who said those ominous words. “I like you Celestia.”
“Don-” Celestia’s mouth became stuck like glue, her words sealed by her sister. Luna may have been slaving away making the best cake ever , but the Princess still snooped.
“As I was saying,” Twilight giggled. Did they plan this? Celestia accused internally. “I like you. Not just your serious royal time face, or the Perfect princess, the wonderful teacher, prankster or tired immortal, or the hurt love. Or any of a million personalities, masks or identities that you are and I could list.” Despite that there was a tone of melancholy to her words, Twilight smiled wide. “I care for all of them, all of you. Princess-”
Worshipping child, Celestia’s thoughts began.
“Fluffybutt.”
Or... not, Celestia finished.
“Now,” Twilight proudly exhaled. She seemed more interested in mixing dough than making eye contact, not that Celestia wanted to meet her eyes. “I know you have a heavy heart and you’re probably confused, and this confusion is what’s been leading you to ignore our friendship... I hope. But, anyways, I want you to know that I’m- I’m happy.”
She certainly doesn’t sound happy, Celestia thought.
The dough was long stirred, but Twilight kept on running her spoon around the bowl, hooves jittering. “You have my affection whether you like it or not and I’m happy to be a-able to give it to you. I’m happy that you’ve asked me here to spend time with you. I’m happy to know you and to care for you, e-even from afar, though I’d rather be your friend. I miss my friend, Celestia.” The soft clinking of Twilight's hooves on the bowl stopped when she wiped her eyes.
Though Celestia’s lips were no longer sealed she couldn’t bring herself to speak.
”Even if it makes me sadder than I’ve ever been,” Twilight all but whispered. ”I’m happy Tia. Because I’ve read... so many books... I’ve read and I know that sadness isn’t a bad thing.” She sniffled, the mixing abandoned and tears falling into the bowl. “It means there was something incredible and happy that you had to be sad about a-and when I’m gone I hope I make you sad too. Really really sad, b-because at least that means I made you happy.”
The realization of what Celestia had been doing and trying to do to her fai- to her friend, pierced her to the bone. It didn’t help that Twilight was crying at the end of her bed. That’s your friend Celestia, at least she used to be. Are you happy about that? she thought to herself. “Twi-”
“W-w-well th-this is r-ruined”, Twilight sobbed. “Princess Luna has b-been the better baker anyways.”
“Twilight I-”
“It has been a thousand years since we have cooked,” Luna interrupted, returning to her side bread in hoof. Celestia hadn’t put together a complete sentence since the day began and she let it slide that her interruptions weren’t quite over.
“You’ll forgive my enthusiasm?” Princess Luna asked. The words ‘for our interruptions more than the baking’ hid between the lines unspoken, though everypony heard them.
The goddess of the sun sighed. Torrents of all the things she told herself she would figure out later were crashing down upon her. What had happened in the hall when Twilight shocked her rump? Why had Twilight rolled around in laughter in court when any other pony would have been embarrassed to mutter a peep? Why did it feel like she was wearing a mask when she was supposed to be doing the opposite?
Her plan wasn’t working. For Twilight it would never work. Why that was, she still didn’t know but she thought it was time she answered all those questions nagging at her heart.
“No more rules Twilight.” She decided. “Not now or ever. It was unfair of me to impose their falseness upon you.”
“Then can I... would you like me to call you Tia?” Ever hopeful Twilight Sparkle. Though her body was exhausted and sad her eyes still contained a glimmer of hope that touched Celestia so.
“I need some time to think.” A direct yes or no would have been a lie either way. Celestia didn’t know what she wanted. “Luna.” Celestia being encumbered by her blankets did little to prevent her sister from taking her in a grand hug. “Please take care of Twilight for today and I will... do what I must.”
* * *
Pinkie Pie was eating cake. At least she thought it was cake, but it had a reeeeeally strange taste to it, and weren’t cakes supposed to be sweet? It felt rough, like what happens when she accidentally eats the cupcake without taking off the paper. Oh! It was paper. She must have forgotten to take the paper off the cake... But cakes don’t have paper. It tasted more like ink too, you know, something that had been written on.
It was a letter!
Pinkie Pie was eating a letter.
It would be a good idea to spit it out, she thought, ‘cause it tasted important. She uncrumpled the frosting covered parchment to give it a read.
Dear Pinkie Pie,
WHAT THE HAY WERE YOU THINKING? Sending an OVEN through Spike’s flame to the Princess’s room in the middle of the night? What if it had fallen on her? What if she had woken up?
Pinkie thought back in time. There they were, about to bake a cake so that Twilight would have something sweet to go with her box, when Dash surprised Pinkie with a flour monster. Then Pinkie surprised Spike with a scream and FWOOSH, half the kitchen was gone! Mr. and Mrs. Cake hadn’t thought it was funny either.
Why did Twilight need that box anyways? It was only full of- Wait! That’s a secret. Pinkie laughed.
Well, it didn’t fall on her and she didn’t wake up and... as chance would have it Princess Luna is an excellent baker. She and I stayed up all night making baked goods, though I didn’t get the consistency right on anything when I started. The directions weren’t clear on what exactly was meant by measuring, kneading or beating and the flexible time limit leaves too much to chance. Though by mid-morning I managed to make cupcakes all on my own!
To get to the point, the lesson I learned from you and Princess Luna is a very valuable one on friendship. I learned that friends can still help you be happy when you’re sad. That you should welcome their good intentions into your heart and lean on them for warmth, even when you’re cold.
I know this is something you do every day for other ponies Pinkie Pie and you’re the best at it so this letter is yours. Princess Celestia may have forgotten about our friendship, but I still have Princess Luna and all of you. You always keep me together, sometimes in spite of myself.
After baking and a lot of talking with Luna I told Celestia everything. Not just that I care for her but how and why, and I like to think you gave me the courage to do that. Through some flour and sugar and not an old box of trinkets. Pinkie Pie, I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, something fun and happy as usual, I bet. I wish I could be there and hug you and tell you thanks for being you.
Love, Your Faithful Friend,
Twilight Sparkle
Pinkie Pie was, in fact, not thinking of something fun and happy, but instead let loose the quietest little tears of her life. Making other ponies happy came through no small effort of her own and doing something this special for a friend, even if by accident, was what made it all worth it. Pinkie had her own box and this letter was definitely going in it, between a pair of rocks, some candycorn from a dress, and nestled on top of a hoof-ful of decayed confetti.
She put it in her head to give back this smile Twilight had given her and to do so she came up with an idea: an awful, wonderful idea.
* * *
Sun Goddess Celestia, Angel of the Seven Armies and her royal majesty was eating cupcakes. Not just any cupcakes All of the cupcakes. They were terrible, crispy and overcooked and she didn’t know why she had scarfed down so many, she thought to herself. Well, maybe she had a small inkling why and there might have been a reason that she tried to hide from herself. But just a little one.
These were Twilight’s cupcakes, hoof-baked by her faithful friend.
Celestia was long past being full and it was long past breakfast, but still the Princess sat in bed, savoring her very last cupcake with a crunch.
She let herself get lost in the memories of her once but no longer pupil. There was a little filly cheery and happy, overwhelmed to go to magic school at all let alone to be the Princess’s Personal Protege. That filly became much taller all of a sudden to Celestia. A confident young mare more skilled in magic than ponies twice her age, yet still searching, still seeking more knowledge. It was a thirst that continued to deepen as she grew older. Before Celestia could stop her, Twilight had grown into a determined adult, out to prove herself for her ‘Princess’.
No, that isn’t right, is it? Celestia thought. The Princess, feeling like an overstuffed turkey, came to a strange realization. All along she had thought her student was motivated by a misguided purpose of proving herself to Celestia. The crush had proved that. But now that she thought on it, did the image of Twilight working only for Celestia hold a grain of truth? The crush was certainly an incentive and a drive for Twilight, but the more Celestia thought about it the less likely it seemed that Twilight was a fawning worshipper. The scorch mark on her rear was evidence enough of that.
Does she care for me? Not the lie I thought, the adoration of a misguided pupil, or the lust of a pony denied? It hurt to consider. I don’t know... Celestia thought.
What am I doing? I have court to get to!
But first, maybe she would try some of that bread.
* * *
A warm blanket and a soft bed were all the taking care of Twilight needed for the rest of the morning. After her recuperating rest, she and Princess Luna shared a meal of their own creation The Princess of the Night imparted knowledge on history and chatted in general, anything to distract Twilight from why her heart ached. It worked, for a time.
Twilight’s nerves were calmed by Princess Luna. She was similar to her sister, playful and clever, but there were differences as well. Luna had a more shy nature about her, secluding their conversation from even the royal guard in a private study room. But there was an intimacy in her one on one conversations with Twilight. She had been relaxed and open the entire time Twilight was there, a big change from her unsure nature of Nightmare Night.
Despite Luna’s best efforts, Twilights thoughts turned inwards. “I’m still worried about Celestia,” she said after a long silence..
Luna sipped her tea. “Of course you are, little Twilight. Your entire life hangs in the balance and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
That was a challenge to Twilight. “What if I write her a letter? Or- or I could stop in just for a little just to see how she’s doing. Or what she’s thinking. Oh! I could make a list of the pros and cons of-”
Across the table from her rambling Princess Luna was smirking.
It isn’t a challenge , Twilight sighed inwardly, looking at her companion. “There’s nothing?”
“Not a single thing, my little pony.” Once more the air peppered with cracks as Luna stood and stretched, looking much like a cat. “It’s her heart and she’s the only one who can feel it.” A pang of fear ran through Twilight as the Princess began walking away. She didn’t want to be left alone.
Luna turned. ”How would you enjoy access to the library’s more private alcoves?”
Twilight dropped her tea.
* * *
Celestia’s stomach was full to bursting. Why did Luna have to be so good at baking? Where did her sister even get parmesan in the middle of the night?
Court had come and gone yet there she lay, struggling with the blankets as much as her thoughts. Twilight Sparkle , the Princess couldn’t get her former pupil out of her mind. Twilight had cared for her and not with any old feelings of warmth and friendship, but held her in deep affection. Not a mask even, her. Celestia. How did the student even know who she was? She hadn’t given up that much in an attempt to drive her student away. Had she?
None of it made sense to Celestia and she couldn’t believe it. You formed a bond of friendship, you senile old mare, she chided herself. What did you expect to happen? Celestia remembered loving teaching the small pony and admiring Twilight as she grew up. Always feeling close. Very close. She had let her barriers down to drive Twilight away, but had instead come ever closer, but how close?
As much as she didn’t want to consider it, she had to figure out how she felt about her long time student. The last thing she wanted to do was break Twilight’s heart by jerking her around and being wishy washy.
Will you miss her when she’s gone? Celestia started a conversation with her thoughts, a comforting method she developed to solve problems during Luna’s thousand year absence.
“Yes, of course.” There was no question to her that Celestia missed each and every one of her friends when they passed, let alone her students.
More than the usual pupil? her thoughts probed further.
Looking ahead to when Twilight would die caused a pang in her and she closed her eyes. “Much more,” she said in solemn resignation. Twilight was a close friend. The recent abuse of that friendship made her sick to her stomach.
Do you like her?
“I don’t know,” she replied honestly.
Do you enjoy her company? she thought, trying to narrow her definition of ‘like’ down.
She laughed at her own absurdity. “Yes! She’s adorable! Smart, silly, and playful, just like... just like Luna was.”
Yes, you like her as a student, but do you want to do more things with her?
The implications that ‘things’ brought made her blush, “be specific.”
Teach, or share your close personal secrets with, or take time out of your day to make hers better, or hold close at night.
“Yes on the first,” she responded, creating a list. “For far too long on the second. Very yes on the third. For the last-” She hesitated, chewing her lip. The once noble Princess was terrified to even consider what would happen if she answered that question or what it would mean.
You enjoy nuzzling her, the part of her that was playing devil’s advocate wouldn’t stop. She cursed her determination.
“That doesn’t count,” She rebutted. “I nuzzle plenty of-” No she didn’t, she reminded herself, just Twilight and Luna. “But still, it’s platonic in every sense. All of it.”
Be realistic, Celestia, you had to resist nibbling her ears this morning!
She hung her head in shame. “Twilight has cute ears and with the way she was looking at me I was simply considering that they could stand for a little nibble, but that’s only because they’re cute.”
You aren’t fooling yourself .
“Sh-shut up.” An angry stutter left her lips. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, her persistent conscience was right and she knew it. Her horn shimmered and lowered the sun, thoughts further away from her duties than ever.
* * *
“Do I go back to her tonight?” Twilight said from around her book on pegasai origins and myths. The entire day had passed with Twilight immersed in books, study, and magic in the wing of the Canterlot archives that was normally reserved for Princesses.
Blue light shimmered like glass in front of Princess Luna in an experiment with her protection spell. “What do you think?”
Twilight wanted to go, to try and be there for Celestia as much as she could, but she knew the answer before it came from her lips. “No, I don’t, but I want to. I don’t think I’d be too intrusive to stay here in Canterlot, though.” Her words were a request for permission. “At least until this is decided.”
“You may reside in our quarters this evening,” Luna offered. “It was designed for both princesses after all.”
There had to be a story behind that and it piqued Twilight’s curiosity, but something more personal was on her mind. “I’m not comfortable-”
A playful giggle stopped her mid sentence and Luna put up a hoof. “If it helps to know, dear Twilight: there are separate beds.” Luna smirked. “And you would be staying in hers. ”
“Yes!” Her excitement overrode any apprehensions she might have had, leaving her cheeks red with embarrassment.
Princess Luna’s prompting had had its desired effects and she snickered. “You are a member of the family Twilight. I think so, even if Celestia has yet to make up her mind. Thus why you are welcome here, and in our studies and chambers.”
“What?” Luna’s gesture had come out of nowhere and it was difficult, even absurd for Twilight to believe. The alicorn giggled. Again. Twilight was becoming tired of her secrets and hidden meanings behind everything. At least with Celestia Twilight could read and understand between the lines, but Luna had an entirely different aura of mystery. “What do you mean?”
“My dear Twilight.” Luna grabbed her in yet another hug. “I wouldn’t ruin the surprise for all the stars in the sky.”
* * *
After a long day of caring for animals Fluttershy was looking forward to a nice long rest. Some kind of rough texture was stuck between her covers and brushed against her leg, but no bother, she could just ignore it. Her thoughts turned to the days ahead. Pinkie had invited her to sugarcube corner tomorrow and she had definitely been plotting something.
The sensation kept rubbing, the corners digging in, but she wasn’t going to let it get to her.
Just, maybe she could move it a little?
Fluttershy reached down and retrieved the... parchment, was it? Upon discovering Twilight’s seal, she immediately burst out of bed, hugging it to her. Rainbow Dash had told her that Twilight was sending out letters, but she didn’t expect one after her embarrassing outburst at the party. Shy was happy to be remembered.
Dear Fluttershy,
I used to question your decision to stay back and out of the way. Today I learned a valuable lesson in doing just that, for today I did nothing with Celestia. I’m waiting. I laid my heart out to her this morning and now Celestia has to make up her mind to figure out what to do with me. Specifically whether or not she’s my friend. Or cares for me.
Oh goddess I want her to! But no amount of convincing, talking or gifting will sway her. I have to hope. Hope that at least I can have my friend back.
Fluttershy, I’m scared. What if she doesn’t like me anymore? What if she never liked me? I worry so much. You know I like to be in control and have each and every aspect of a situation under my hoof. I do whatever I can to solve problems, but there’s nothing at all I can do right now. So I’ve learned that sometimes you must let your friends come to their own decisions, even when those decisions impact you the most. Sometimes you have to wait.
Your faithful friend,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. What is it like to fly?
She was nervous, apprehensive and terrified of what would happen next, but Fluttershy put it all aside to reply to Twilight. Her friend needed her, even if the question was strange and out of the blue.
Dear Twilight,
I don’t mean to intrude but... I’m sure things will be fine with you and Princess Celestia. She has always been there for you.
Flying is... well... maybe Rainbow could answer this question better. I always like to be close to the ground and only really fly when I have to or when I’m not paying attention, but... It’s like being away from the whole world, but getting to explore it at the same time. You.. I mean.. Me... I-I am very happy to be able to fly.
Sincerely,
Fluttershy
Her wings flapped on her way to the mailbox. Shy smiled.
Author's Note
An illustration for this chapter is coming! I'm actually away at the moment so I won't be able to create one until I return.
Chapter 5: Will
A gentle nuzzle pressed against Twilight Sparkle. “...Celestia,” she whispered, still dreaming. The nuzzle giggled.
“Sorry, little pony,” Luna replied. “Time to wake.” The curtains of their room flew open, letting the literal twilight in. “We thought thou might enjoy to experience the moon setting and sun rising ceremony.”
“Yes,” Twilight yawned, “please.” She shook herself awake, following Luna to the balcony. Readying herself for the task at hoof, the alicorn took in a great breath and exhaled. Blue light wobbled and pulsated from her beginning at her horn and keeping in rhythm with her heartbeat. It was even at first but as the waves increased in size and intensity it came out in sporadic bursts and fits, the Princess under great strain. A worried frown crossed Twilight’s face, something is wrong , she thought. Electricity pulsated through the air, then all of a sudden it stopped, Luna panting: the sun had risen, the moon set, and nothing having gone awry as far as Twilight could tell.
“Are you alright?” the unicorn asked.
Luna rose, composure restored. “Yes. We were expecting our sister to aid us. Celestia must be taking her thoughts of you with great seriousness if she has foregone her duties as Princess.” A weak smile met Twilight’s worry. “We must take care of court today if Equestria is to continue to function normally. While we would enjoy to make expressions with you, Celestia may be there.”
Though Twilight’s heart disagreed, her mind knew. “I understand.”
“I will meet you before the sun sets, Ms. Sparkle.” Luna winked in a show of play, turning to go.
“Wait,” Twilight asked. “I do have a favor to ask. Can you get the wooden box that came with the oven in Celestia’s room?”
Luna nodded, smiling. “You mean the one you tried to hide as soon as you possibly could? It’s between the nightstand and the bed, is it not?”
Flurries of emotions ran through Twilight, but acceptance prevailed. Luna would know what Luna knew. “Yes.” A magical ripple appeared in space before her, pulling up the chest and it fell to her feet, shocking her out of her melancholy. “Magical summoning is expressly forbidden to or from the private chambers!”
Luna sat and waited for the gears to turn in Twilight’s head, expecting more to come from the little pony. She thought Twilight would put up more fight and was wondering if her next point would be remembered before she said it. But the Princess was almost late for court... “Says the pony who summoned an oven into Princess Celestia’s quarters?”
Twilight squinted; it wasn’t fair.
“I won’t tell if you don’t, my little pony.”
* * *
Just try it , Celestia told herself. Dont tease her, don’t tell her that it’s anything other than what it is, an experiment to find out what you feel. The Princess flew low, skimming the grass plains beneath Canterlot’s mountain.
“Are you sure?” She replied.
No, but you don’t know how you feel. You want to do these things and you don’t.
“It’s time for court.”
Have your decision ready by the end, you owe her that much.
* * *
The halls were bare where Twilight lay looking out a window. The lack of company was good, she reasoned: she had a lot of thinking to do. Having the time to herself also allowed her to bathe in the sun, a gentle reminder of the one she cared for.
There was one more friendship letter to write before springing the ‘I’ve learned!’ surprise to Celestia. It was to Rarity, but she had to learn something about friendship first and waiting, which was all she felt she was doing, was already in Fluttershy’s letter. Perhaps she could find something to learn friendship from...
“Grah!” She stopped, putting a hoof to her forehead; there she was, trying to fix another problem she had to wait on.
What about Spike? Another hoof to her forehead. Of course! Spike gets a letter too.
Spike and Rarity.
* * *
Celestia’s mind was running over and over itself and Princess Luna was no help. The Night Princess was giving out decrees, making judgments, but not once did her face slip into her usual playful and hidden demeanor, despite Celestia’s best efforts at expressions. Celestia knew why, of course, it was to force her to come to terms with how she felt about Twilight and her sister wouldn’t allow her any distractions.
How do I feel about my most faithful student? She thought again. Do I care for her? “Of course,” Celestia’s not-so-inner monologue gave permission for a new sculpture to be built in Canterlot proper, causing a hopeful artist to smile and prance his way back to reception. In court was not the proper location for Celestia to be dealing with these things. But how? Like a friend, a student, a daughter or... different? Is it even okay to? She shifted, feathers ruffling. Thankfully Luna gave her the only hidden expression of that court: ‘I’ll take care of this, you take care of you’, she read. She nodded a silent thanks and allowed her mind to wander.
Though a rare case, Twilight sparkle was not the first student Celestia had taken under her wing. Her pupils numbered in the dozens, though they had hundreds of years between them. With only a couple notable exceptions they had all been faithful proteges. She had to reach deep into memory to try and recall if any had confessed their infatuation with her. A blue stallion and two others came to mind. A pink mare? Or was she yellow? Celestia couldn’t recall, what she did remember being she had acted less kind by far to the others than to Twilight. No nuzzles, no late night studying one on one, and when they confessed their affections she did what she always did: she showed them her true self. And they ran.
They all ran.
Celestia snarled at the bitter memories, scaring a timid magistrate half to death back in the present. They all fled me because I wasn’t their ‘Perfect Princess’’. The Princess Twilight thinks I am. Bitter emotions ran in turmoil, taking over her heart. I have a duty to put on that mask and to be their ruler, no emotions, no play. My strength and power are the only truth they want to hear and my regality the lie they come to enjoy. She steadied her almost trembling hooves. Had she ever adored any of them back? Did it matter? Celestia had her duties: Princess of the Sun, she was bound and gagged to carry them out. That is what her charges had liked about her.
Twilight was her pupil. It had been her charge to take care of the unicorn and in that she had failed. Her desire to keep her student close had corrupted the younger pony. It wasn’t fair to Twilight at all.
She had her answer.
* * *
“Never!” Rarity said. “That is a terrible idea, and I do not have the time.”
Pinkie Pie pouted.
“I will not”
And pouted.
“It’s not that I don’t want to help, I just have to... augh... do things, alright?”
And pouted.
“Fine! I’ll help you, but if this goes sour it’s all on you.”
And smiled.
* * *
Twilight was ever studious. As the afternoon came and went she passed the time reading a book on magical enchantments. Or she should have been doing just that, but her eyes kept reading and rereading the same page, trying to put it together. All she could make out was ‘I’m waiting and I’m not interested in this right now.’ She let her eyes drift to the world around her. Books were closest and a hoof-ful of ponies browsed the archives, each in their own world. Her wooden box lay unopened at her side. Setting her study to the side she brought the box to her chest and unlatched it, revealing the secrets within.
Inside were the most mundane of objects: her first quill, the acceptance letter to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, a long dried flower, a gala ticket, and a journal she was never very good about using. Memories came with each object and she smiled; this was something special only to her. Her hope with the trinkets had been to remind Celestia of their friendship and closeness that they had once shared. While the spur of the moment baking session had thrown those plans off course, she was happy with the way things unfolded. Maybe there will be time to show Princess Celestia later, she hoped.
She packed up her books, abandoning studying for the moment and trotting out of the library. Perhaps when Luna was out of court the Princess would be able to take her for tea. Without direction or destination in mind she walked away from the castle, her hooves following a path they knew well. She didn’t realize it until she arrived, but there she was: outside her old study, the tower standing tall against the looming sunset. Sunset? Had she spent that much time in the library?
While her immediate temptation was to walk right in, this wasn’t her room anymore. Spike wouldn’t be there to greet her with tales of Moondancer’s beauty. Still, she was curious as to what had become of the place. Her parents may have lived here in Canterlot but this had been her home for a long time.
She knocked. “Hel-looo?” she sang.
No response came from the tower, so with caution she opened the door. The study was dark but otherwise exactly how she had left it. Empty bookshelves stared back at her, cobwebs and dust taking over with time. Parchments and notes that had not been of enough importance to take were still strewn about, as if not a soul had been inside since she left.
Twilight rounded a corner to come face to back with her , Princess Celestia. A terrible energy was radiating from her, rising in a red steam. Twilight backed away, scared of what she saw and hoping to remain unnoticed.
”Come, Ms. Sparkle.” Celestia’s voice boomed.
Shoot! Well, at least Twilight had done her best to give her space. “Yes?” Twilight stood firm, regardless of fear of confrontation and the powerful force coming from her that was unlike anything Twilight had ever seen. There was a coldness to her eyes, different from the royal mask and more terrifying than her true self as Twilight remembered. It was wrong. Everything felt wrong.
When the Princess spoke, she didn’t look at her visitor, instead gazing at the setting sun. “I have made my decision.” Not even Chrysalis could have made such ice come from Celestia’s voice.
Twilight realized the great danger that was happening before her. According to the clock on the wall, the sun shouldn’t be setting for many more hours, but it was dipping below the horizon and casting everything in a surreal glow. Celestia’s horn shimmered, aiding the sun’s escape.
There was no more hope left in the unicorn for herself: she knew.
The sun spoke, her words tightly controlled. “You will leave canterlot.”
“Yes, Princess.” Twilight whispered.
“You will forget this foolishness.”
“Yes Princess.” It was over, and worse than that, she had made her princess- the Princess, angry with her foal like behavior.
“You will cease your friendship reports to me. I am the Princess of your kingdom, Ms. Sparkle. Nothing more.”
Twilight was struck dumb. There wasn’t a word in her mind or her throat. Why couldn’t this be Chrysalis, just a simple trick that she could blame and work against? This was her friend... ending their friendship forever. No tears or sobs came to Twilight but the worst kind of despair of thoughts turned inwards took hold. She did what she did best and worst: she thought.
I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I’m a terrible student. I should’ve stayed in my daydreams. Her heart slowed. I’m not good enough. I should have been a better friend. A better pony. She blinked, fighting tears. In spite of the horrid nature of this end, she would face it with dignity, something to hold on to. A better pony for her and less.... less me.
Her torturer turned, facing her with that same mask of perfection they both hated.
This could be the last time we speak...
“No,” Twilight said. To be abandoned by Celestia was the last thing she wanted, but if that was the Princess’s will, then so be it. If that was the case though,if this was their last meeting, then she had something for Celestia. She had to fight everything that broiled within her, every thought of self loathing, every moment of self hate, doubt and despair. In defiance of her trembling hooves and shaking chest, she had one thing to say and she wasn’t going to waste this last opportunity. This opportunity to help her princess.
“Princess Celestia.”
No response.
“I will always be your friend.”
* * *
Luna was shivering, her face a sheen of sweat. Her sister may have been able to set the sun but Luna would not let Celestia take her moon. It was all the Princess could do to keep the day and night in balance. Hopefully the little purple pony could do the rest.
She would do her best to keep her sister from becoming The Nightmare.
* * *
“Why?” Celestia’s question echoed like a siren in her ear. The terrifying goddess approached until they were inches apart, staring one another down. A heat came from Celestia’s magic that made Twilight want to vomit. Celestia looked... scared.
It was a simple question, but one that Twilight didn’t have an answer for. She knew it was true, and what she wanted, but why? “Because,” Twilight let her emotions go, “you’re perfect.” She let out all the rage she felt at being rejected, all the pain for not being good enough, and all the love that had been bottled away. The control she’d had for all her life crumbled inside her. Like that first fateful day so long ago her eyes went white. She took Celestia’s coldness and turned it against her.
“Why won’t yo-” Celestia started.
“SHUT UP!” Twilight’s word was command. Angry waves of sparks shot from her horn, any semblance of magical constraint lost. “Don’t you see it? Do I need to teach this lesson again Celestia? I love you . Not the Princess, not the masks. You.”
Electricity exploded from her, striking across her former study uncontrolled and unbridled, but neither pony moved. Bookcases crumbled into dust under her rage, memories destroyed in an instant. The air around them caught on fire, beating back Celestia’s own magic, the alicorn’s power dwarfed in an instant by the new sun.
“You. Don’t think that you hid yourself from me Celestia. I know and I care for you .” Twilight couldn’t see, but she didn’t care to, these were her words and regardless of how much Celestia hated her or how much she would suffer for it she would have her peace.
“You are a terrible pony.” Cracks appeared in the floor when Twilight stepped forward.Her lightning was outshined with waves of purple light and force, cascading in rhythm with the fire of her heart. “You bring me here to show me who you are, then immediately turn around and act like we were never friends! Well I’m sorry. I’m sorry that when you held me close when we studied I thought it meant something. I’m sorry that when you laughed I thought you weren’t laughing at me. I’m sorry I have the gall to feel something for the high and mighty Princess .“
Twilight stomped her hoof, preemptively silencing Celestia. “Every step we come closer you treat like a defeat. Every time I bare my heart to you, you give me silence. ‘Come, Twilight.’ ‘See who I am Twilight.’ It’s all in the plans, isn’t it?”
“BUCK your plans!” she cried, her hooves hovering off the ground. Waves of energy and cold filled the room, stripping it bare of all but the walls of stone which themselves began to buckle. “Why don’t you let you be you?” Twilight sobbed, her rage giving way to sorrow, the magic becoming cold. Pity came to her for Celesita, a frost covering everything. “Why can’t ponies know that you like chamomile tea, not peppermint like you say? Why don’t you share how shallow you think politics are, but how much you enjoy playing the game? For your sake, Celestia, you hate your title and formality. You like to play silly games. You enjoy flying because it’s freeing that you can be all on your own, and I-”her eyes, a terrified gaze looking back at her.
“You’re perfect.”
Twilight’s magic released, time resumed, and the tower dissolved in a torrent of grief made real in bright purple light, both ponies sent into a dark unconsciousness.
* * *
All across Equestria ponies didn’t know what to do. The sun had gone down early and in all the histories and all the textbooks, this had never happened. Were the cosmic forces out of balance? Was there something happening beyond the control of even their beloved princesses? Was Celestia dead?
Then came the star. In every corner of Equestria there shone a bright purple star from the direction of Canterlot. It was even visible on the train where Twilight’s friends rode towards Canterlot. Everypony was scared and worried, but for one pony who was whistling a happy little tune. “Smile smile smile,” she kept saying. Her tail was still and nothing else seemed the matter. A little laugh, a little cheer and the ghosties were giggled away.
Author's Note
This chapter really needs more images... bah, no time! Never any time.
Chapter 6: Want
The world was dark with no stars in the night sky. Luna hadn’t the strength to raise them and so the moon hung precariously, all alone. Panicked and terrified like a startled doe Celestia awoke. When her eyes to adjusted to the lack of light she made out Lunar and Celestial symbols interwoven on the stonework surrounding her. This was Luna’s bedroom and had once been theirs, she remembered. Since The Nightmare had overtaken her sister a thousand years past she had not set hoof in it.
“Easy, big sister,” Celestia was startled by the sudden realization that Luna was standing over her, caressing her forehead. “We let the citizens know that things will be well. They wanted to see you but our royal authority was enough, for now.”
“What happened?” Celestia asked.
Luna looked at her with emotions unhidden, nothing but pity on her face. “You are an idiot.” No relapse of events transpired nor a context for Luna’s words was provided.
“What happened?” Celestia commanded.
“You. Are an idiot,” Luna’s pity turned to statement of fact.
Her temper flared. “Don’t treat me like a child. I-”
“Don’t act like one,” Her sister retorted. “You cannot command me Tia. Not any more than you can command her .”
“Who?” Celestia’s indignant reply was met with a hoof to her jaw and she took it, reveling in the pain and letting it fill her. It was better than what she felt inside.
Luna shook her head, reminding herself of her sorrow, it would do no good for either of them to hate now. “I’m worried about her. I found only you. She was taken by somepony she knew, but I don’t know where she is.”
Celestia remembered. Twilight’s determination, the mare’s eyes and fierce, biting words. Her own magic overpowered. “What have I done?” Luna remained silent.
She had thought that Twilight was just another student and just another crush to push aside, but the fire, Twilight’s fire, was anything but. Celestia had been filled with sorrow at her former students adoration and a separation due to her duty. She had shut down and dismissed Twilight entirely, dismissing herself as well. It hadn’t mattered how Celestia felt, she had had her ‘solution’. It had been what was best for both of them. Hadn’t it?
‘You are a terrible pony’. The words echoed like bells ringing over and over in her head. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
“I am.”
* * *
“Twilight?” A rough voice said. “Honey, she’s coming to.” Twilight’s head throbbed worse than the night after her entrance exam. The room was hauntingly familiar, but spinning too much to identify.
She shook off her dizziness, shutting her eyes to the candlelight. It was her room, in her parents house. “Mom?”
“We’re here Twiley.” Her mother’s anxious face met her own, her father biting his lip beside her. That’s right, she thought, vaguely remembering being carried by her mother and father away from the aftermath. They had found her and taken her to the safest place she knew. They had taken her home.
Full awareness finally returned to her. Twilight’s memory told her one thing, but what was possible told her something else entirely. She had not only lost control of her magic, but yelled at Celestia, destroyed her old study and beaten the Princess in magic. “How did you find me?”
Her mom answered. “It was your tower, your magic and your voice. We all heard it dear.”
“Um,” Twilight’s father nervously joined in, “If you don’t mind me asking, Twilight my dear, who’s perfect?”
Perfect , what she had vented to Celestia after she was banished. Banished from the one she cared for most. “Oh dad. Mom.” Despite heavy bruising Twilight leapt from her bed and buried her face in her parent’s chests, letting the tears stream freely down her face. They returned her affections, with gentle nuzzles and arms around her back. No more questions came, no more words at all; they held her, firm and soft. It was amazing how such a little thing as their silent company gave her strength.
After time for the worst of her hurt to be over Twilight rambled. She told them how she had always liked Celestia, but that she knew nothing would come of it. How she longed after her mentor, but had buried her emotions and lay broken hearted, trying to be a friend to her princess. She recounted her attempts to get over Celestia and her confession just a few days before, of the Princess taking her in and of her final breakdown and fight with Celestia.
“It was terrible,” she hiccuped. “She looked scared mom! Scared of me. She won’t even-”
“Twilight,” her mom broke the long silence. “If she’s going to dismiss your friendship, then this ‘Princess’ isn’t worth your time.”
“Mother!” Her parents had never thought to insult Celestia before, showing only adoration and worship even. There was more Twilight wanted to say, but the shock of her mother dismissing Celestia was a large bite for her to take.
Her father tsked. “Listen to your mother, Twiley. Any Princess who can’t see how special you are, well... she isn’t that good of a Princess.”
“I have half a mind to march right up to those palace gates and teach her a thing or two about manners.” The older mare started putting on her coat, completely serious to defend her child. “Letting you down is one thing, but that’s no excuse to be cold-hearted.”
It felt strange, but Twilight laughed between her sniffles. This was home, her home, and she was more welcome here than anywhere except Ponyville. It felt good to be sad here.
* * *
Celestia watched the night. Princess Luna, as much as she had wanted to take care of her sister, was in dire need of rest. Being up for two days in a row would do that to a pony. So Celestia flew, not high in the sky like her heart desired with altitude’s promise of escape, but low to the ground and within Canterlot. She didn’t deserve her freedom, her mind told her.
Consoling the public had been simple enough. When they saw that yes she was alright, and no Nightmare Moon hadn’t returned, things went back to normal. Luna still had her work cut out for her in the dreams and nightmares of her people, but that was her burden.
Celestia’s burden was not her duty tonight, but her worry for her once faithful student. Words raced in her mind again and again. ‘I thought I was the cause some of those smiles.’ ‘You are a terrible pony.’ ‘You’re perfect.’ Perfect. The word was poison to her mind. So many years, so many centuries of ponies had called her perfect, not allowing her a moments rest or a single missed step.
You’re perfect.
Is that what Twilight thought? If she wasn’t a pony who could make a mistake then why had Twilight forwarded perfect with terrible pony ?
Her flight pattern veered off, becoming less arbitrary to circle the towers of Canterlot’s archives. Because she knows me. I’m not perfect and she knows my faults better than I do. Peppermint tea did leave an unpleasant aftertaste in her mouth that took much too long to be rid of. Why hadn’t Celestia made that connection?
Perfect.
But it wasn’t perfect that Twilight meant. At least not in the traditional sense of royal or flawless, rather something else entirely, something deeply personal to Twilight herself. Celestia forgot to flap when she realized the entirety of Twilight’s definition of ‘perfect’.
It meant Twilight thought of her as the perfect mate. Perfect for Twilight.
Celesita fell to the ground, smashing into and ruining the garden’s prized gazebo, though her thoughts concerned her more. She had taken in this vulnerable filly, taught the pony as best she could, opening up to Twilight as she did with nopony else. All the while she had told herself it was to drive Twilight away. Yet Twilight stayed, laughing and smiling the whole way. Celestia cared for her. And when the filly turned adult returned that affection, what did she do? She didn’t believe Twilight, scorned her and shut down instead of share any kind of closeness with her. Closeness that Celestia had been giving before , she could finally admit to herself.
She isn’t the other ponies and hers isn’t their confessions. I shut her out because of my own fear. My own stupid, irrational fear. Luna is right. Celestia crawled out of the wreckage. I am an idiot.
* * *
It was an unexpected surprise when a palace guardspony knocked on her parent’s door the next morning. The scroll he was carrying was more mysterious than surprising however, as it bore the cutie mark of neither Celestia nor Luna, but Pinkie.
Twilight,
Come to the canterlot Gardens right after sunset.
Sincerely,
All your friends.
P.S. There will be cake and apple food so don’t eat anything. P.P.S. Also Rarity made you a dress so don’t wear anything. P.P.P.S. Oh, and come alone. P.P.P.P.S. Please! I forgot please! Please come. P.P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for all the P.S.esseses
Twilight had to laugh. This was all Pinkie.
* * *
Celestia slept in again that morning. The sun rose as guided by the Princess of the night, who was sure to perform the ritual out of sight so that her sister could rest. Luna took out a certain wooden box she had retrieved from the rubble of the tower, which remained scorched but intact and set it upon the nightstand. “Sleep well, little sister.”
* * *
After the incident the previous twilight there were debris workers, construction crews, landscaping ponies, and just about anypony else who could profit from a disaster lining up around court. Celestia would have none of it: the tower was to remain missing, the debris to be cleared by magic, Luna’s magic. Luna wasn’t at court for just this reason. Over and over Celestia was forced by duty to put on her mask, smile and nod, pretend to care, and explain the same thing again.
Her wings ruffled and she had to keep them from flaring as the politics of the day went on and on. Normally it would amuse her, even if only a little, but that morning she had opened the box at her bedside table. Inside it were what Celestia recognized as Twilight’s most precious memories and a journal. The little book was a mishmash of sporadic thoughts ranging from ‘Ate beets today’ to detailed compilations of weeks. One entry in particular, a list, reinforced everything Celestia had come to realize about the unicorn; that Twilight was her own pony.
A pony that Celestia wanted to be close to again and maybe explore something else.
The day wore on and sunset loomed, but Celestia’s mind was in another world. She certainly never thought of fantasizing or daydreamed. That would be unbecoming of a Princess.
* * *
The little squirrel tilted his head into Fluttershy’s hoof. “Um, Pinkie, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, what if you’re wrong? I wouldn’t want anypony to feel awkward...”
“Don’t worry Sheyey.” That was a new nickname from Pinkie. “I’ve got a gooood feeling about this, after all, my dimples are showing!” A pink blur decorated, demonstrated and facilitated proper party procedure at breakneck speeds, checking and double-checking that everything was going according to plan.
“Your dimples are always showing, dear.” Rarity straightened out a set of ribbons. “I still cannot believe you convinced us to help you with this little scheme,” The unicorn protested. “There! The hall is finished. How is the garden gazebo coming?”
Applejack poked her head out from around the wooden beams, the new structure looking finished. “Almost fixed there Rarity... just a little... there!”
“Whew!” Dash sighed, letting go of the rope that once held the ceiling to the gazebo. “Are we finished?”
“Not Quiiite,” Pinkie smiled. The familiar tsss of a lit fuse was followed by a sharp BANG of the party cannon. “Now we’re prepared for the perfect party, my pretty pony pals. Spike, did you send out the letters?”
“Yep, gave them to the guardsponies this morning.” The dragon leaned alongside the gazebo, eating appetizers before they were technically supposed to be taken, but Twilight wasn’t there to stop him. “The Princess and Twilight should be here any minute”
* * *
A rushing guard pony met a rushing Celestia head on and the two collided. Only it wasn’t a guard pony. The earth pony with a brown coat and blue eyes looked at her from behind armor that didn’t fit and did little to conceal his identity. “What are you doing here?” Celestia asked.
“Just-just doing my rounds.” He laughed, nervous and skittish. Did she know? She couldn’t know.
“What are you doing here?” the Princess commanded.
She knew. “Passing through your majesty, nothing more.”
“Nothing more?” There was always more. He didn’t come by unless something was happening.
“Well, it’s important that you go to the Canterlot Gardens right now.” The scared stiff pony looked about to bolt, as if caught by a predator.
“Right now?” Celestia confirmed.
“Well, whenever you would have, erm, will.”
His slip of grammar confirmed his identity for Celestia but before she could probe further a grey pegasus in a white dress ran up and dragged him away. “Come on, stupid,” she chided, “we were supposed to be going to the wedding!”
Celestia hadn’t galloped for ages, but it was a good time to start.
* * *
“Your majesty, you are the Sun of all Equestria, but his will not work unless you please stop fussing.” Rarity primped the dress out. The alicorn had arrived first and was given little choice but to be taken over and dressed, or leave. She took one look at the dress and had agreed. “You’re making wrinkles!” Celestia’s heart beat faster than on the gallop over. Would it work? Please let it work , Celestia hoped.
* * *
Twilight couldn’t wait. She had to get there, had to be there early and figure out just what her friends were planning. If it was anything like Pinkie’s usual plans of getting people together with a party things could end very badly. The last time she saw Celestia the two had fought so hard Twilight had taken out a tower! Celestia had... dismissed her.
The memory of it stuttered Twilight’s thoughts, and in that moment she mistook her footing on the stones and tumbled head over hoof. Her drive to carry on stopped with her body. What was the point?
She lay on the stone steps in pain. The fall didn’t hurt much on the outside, but inside her hurt let loose. She wanted to take back everything she had said and say it all again at the same time. How could I have been so foalish? Why am I still even here? Anguish took over, leaving her unmoving in silent sorrow. Time passed slowly. It didn’t matter if another pony came and went and she wouldn’t have been aware enough to see them come or go.
Why can’t it be over? she cried to herself, trying to not take in the overwhelming palace around her or the fact that she was still there, even after Celestia had ordered her to leave. There’s nothing left for me here. I don’t know what I’m... what is there?
Her friends. They were there and they were the most important ponies in her life. She was apprehensive, nervous, fearful and her stomach was twisting inside out, but she had to trust her friends. That had been one of her lessons on this journey and she wasn’t about to forget it. It wasn’t all for nothing. It was for herself.
She rose again, dusted herself off, and walked. Walking was okay, she thought after a while, maybe she could canter. Her pace quickened. It no longer mattered just what her friends were planning, only that she was with them. She didn’t have to face this despair alone. Before she knew it the gardens were right in front of her and Pinkie’s classic party supplies were nowhere to be seen. No streamers, starlights, balloons or bright colors were in sight. She heaved a sigh of relief. I’m going to make.... it....
Twilight had, in fact, made it. Right in time for Celestia to walk into the garden from the hall.
Author's Note
Ah. This one was fun. All the buildup and for what? More buildup!
See you all next Friday.
Chapter 7: Heart
The amount of blood rising to her cheeks was scientifically impossible, Twilight thought. The heart simply didn’t have that much to provide. She stared. Celestia was dressed up, made over and was that eyeshadow? The Princess wore a light lavender dress with no frills, no ribbons, just six pointed magenta and white stars along the side. Around her neck was a a magenta neckerchief, to match her eyes: to match their eyes. Rarity was a lot of things, but she was not subtle. The Princess’s hair was was also done up in a Fançais style braid and her tail to match, while her face, the object of Twilight’s longest stare, was looking right at the unicorn.
The royal mask and fear of the previous day were nowhere to be seen, just a smile floating across her lips.
Her lips.
“Twilight, I’m sorry,” the lips started, “About yesterday, about everything, I-”
“You’re not supposed to see her yet!” A yell came from inside and Pinkie tackled Twilight before pulling her into her own changing room. She was left alone and perplexed with Fluttershy. The colors in the dress before her were all too familiar: white with a gold trim and decorated with green, cyan and pink ribbons. Not subtle at all.
Shy didn’t say a word, proceeding to dress her as if her being here was the most natural thing in the world. Twilight’s heart was in her throat. She hadn’t had time to analyze the look in Celestia’s eyes, but what she caught made her think of a possibility that had long been buried, but never left her heart. Please, oh please Celestia, don’t be Chrysalis, don’t be a trick, don’t be a joke, give me this night. This one little night let the sorrow be gone from both of us.
It took her a moment to realize the fitting was over and she was being hugged by her friend. She hugged back in a long and soft embrace. Shy beamed, leading her out the room. It was just like Fluttershy to make a pony feel calm and welcome without saying a word. She made a mental note to thank her later.
“Pinkie, what is this?” Twilight asked, shying from the alicorn before her.
Her five friends stood in front of the two, the couple, looking more composed and serious than usual.
“This, is your party! Well, it’s more of a social, but with just you two, so a dance really.”
“It’s our way of saying... thanks...”
“And good luck, sugarcube.”
“And take care... of those dresses, of course.”
“And you! You better take care of our Twilight.”
Having said their peace the five companions left the hall. Rarity tipped the needle on the gramophone on her way out.
* * *
It had been the first full day guided by the Princess of the Night in a long time. What ever could be keeping her sister occupied? Luna asked herself, already thinking of what the answer might be. It had been millenia but Celestia still showed the same signs of having a crush. Her poor sister had always pushed others away the closer they got to her.
“The stars will aid in her escape,” Luna said in secret. “And you wonder why I said that, my sister.” The Princess of the Night thought it was a good time for a stroll and strolling was not in any way snooping.
The grounds were deserted and while Luna was glad for the peace and quiet she often missed the company that watching the night brought. “Hey! Scoot over, I can’t see anything.” There was a rustling of leaves which caused her to look over and see a bright yellow pony butt with pink tail sticking out of the bushes. She recognized the not so hidden forms as those of Twilight’s companions, who looked to be trying to give privacy. Of course they hadn’t left and were merely out of sight. Luna considered playing a prank... Maybe just a small one.
“Move over,” she said.
“Make your own space,” Dash told the newcomer. The newcomer Princess. “Uh. Uh. Girls?” Luna grinned at dash, who looked to be exercising her arm poking the white pony next to her. “We have a visitor.”
Rarity hmphed. “Tell them to buzz off, we’re busy.”
Fluttershy had the curiosity and good sense to see what was happening. “P-p-princess Luna?!”
“May we join you?”
* * *
Twilight once again stared at her princess and the Princess stared back, only this time it wasn’t a contest of wills. It was her wonder and Celestia’s affection. Affection that was more open and free than she had ever seen from her princess.
A terrible idea entered her head, her eyes squinting shut as she blurted out. “I’m sorry Princess. I should have left by now.”
A bare hoof caressed Twilight’s cheek. “Please don’t leave Twilight, my-” Celestia’s throat caught with a lump. There were so many nicknames she wanted to call Twilight but they all touched her heart in a way that wasn’t enough. Twilight let herself give in to temptation and nuzzle the soft neck in front of her with warm affection. To her glee Celestia didn’t turn away, but leaned in in a heavenly embrace.
“As I was saying.” Celestia continued. “Yesterday was me being a fool.”
Twilight didn’t want to remember. “I’m so sorry, Princess, I-” A hoof to her lips silenced her.
It was Celestia’s turn to interrupt her pupil. “Tia.”
Twilight’s mind raced, hoping so hard it hurt, but still unsure. “A... another rule?”
Celestia shook her head. “My dearest Twilight, it is a humble request. As is this.” She offered Twilight her hoof. “Shall we dance?”
The not quite ruler took the not quite pupil by the hoof and they moved together. It was a slow dance that promised to have all the time in the world to finish. Eyes met, cheeks blushed and they pressed together a little closer. A most heartfelt “awwww” chorus came from outside and out of hearing.
Twilight was leading and it didn’t surprise Celestia at all, unlike it would have before her realization. Twilight didn’t worship her any more than the librarian worshipped a good book. She was ‘perfect’ to her friend including all her flaws.
Her heart was free, the barriers down and she found herself loving it. Celestia let her head rest on Twilight’s neck and allowed her tears to flow freely. She gave her Twilight a nuzzle and they held together closer.
Was there music? Did it matter? They were together, and unresolved issues or not, that was more important than anything.
“Have I ever told you?” Celestia broke the long, comfortable silence with a whisper, coming close to nibbling an ear. “How much I enjoy your company?” Close became too far for temptation and she nibbled with gentle enthusiasm. Her dance partner giggled, an exciting sensation against her neck.
Twilight met her gaze. “You’ve shown me princess. You smile all the time when I’m around.”
Her feathers ruffled, though the cause was more a sudden realization than an uncomfortable one, their eyes still together. “I-I do not... Do I?”
A whispered giggle and a sideways smile was her reply. “Your face could light up a room and often it does Sun Princess.” Twilight succumbed to beautiful analysis. “Your mask is broken Celestia.” They stared into one another. “It’s a good thing you’re so beautiful underneath.”
Celestia leaned in closer. Twilight wasn’t about to take this, it had to be given to her. It had to be free: free of pity, free of remorse or duty and freely desired. Her princess had to come to her own realization.
The lips came ever closer and they shared a kiss.
Celestia’s heart shone.
* * *
“Wahaha!” Rarity squealed.
“Shh.”
“Well would ya look at that.” Applejack sniffled, holding onto Pinkie. The party pony had hoped this scheme would work, and it had more than she ever thought possible. “Our little girl is growing up.”
“Shh.” Fluttershy’s whispered pleas were going ignored.
“Te he he,” Rainbow dash giggled. She received some questioning looks, her ears turning red. “... what?”
“We are proud of our sister!” Luna’s royal Canterlot voice boomed into a quiet Spike’s ears.
“SHHHHHH,” Fluttershy’s control flooded over. “Can’t you see those two ponies are having a special moment?!” Her outburst caught everypony’s attention, including a blushing Twilight and Celestia. “Oh. Um I... Darn.”
“I think it is time we entered,” Luna observed. “All of us.” The little ponies followed their Princess inside.
The couple ignored their friends, instead dancing and holding one another. Twilight looked to be on fire with joy, and Celestia’s eyes were watering. In their own little world they continued to move and sway with the music long after it stopped. After what was both forever and no time at all they let themselves separate.
“Please excuse us.” Luna bowed. “But we couldn’t help but notice you are in need of the magic of friendship.” She smirked, having said something she thought was funny but the insinuation of which was lost in the moment.
* * *
It was a night full of memories, joy and laughter. Rainbow taught Luna how to dance to the newest music craze, while the Princess taught some of the darker dances from ancient times. The two were more similar than anypony expected. Pinkie meanwhile was stacking muffins on her nose until Applejack challenged her to a contest that left the apple fritters decimated. The noble sisters shared a ‘classic royal dance’, though in their play and exuberance it didn’t look royal at all.
Twilight gave in to temptation and patted Celestia’s flank when she wasn’t looking. There was a nothing on the ceiling that caught Twilight’s attention immediately afterwards. The Princess took revenge by whispering a few choice provocative words, something about waiting and tearing. Twilight thanked her stars that Rarity didn’t hear, but the unicorn was much too busy telling Applejack about how she ‘knew all along’. AJ, for her part, listened, content to be a part of the festivities.
“Um. Twilight.” A quick tug on her dress drew her attention to a little purple dragon looking up at her. “Can you meet me in the garden?” Spike ran outside with purpose before she could make hide or tail of him.
“Please excuse me Princess,” Twilight asked of Luna, who had been telling her and Pinkie about old Canterlot recipes.
Her faithful assistant was rocking back and forth, waiting for her underneath the gazebo.
“What is it?" she asked. "Spike?”’
Spike looked at her. She was glowing with joy on this, the happiest night of her life, and a grin held to her face like the world would be kind forever. It made him feel all the more guilty for what he was about to say.
“I shouldn’t be asking this Twilight. It may be me just being greedy Dragon Spike, but-” He grabbed onto her foreleg and held on for dear life. “Please don’t leave Ponyville Twilight! Please. You have the library there, and all your books, and and your friends and they- we love you and I don’t know what I’d do all on my own and I can’t- I can’t...” Spike sobbed into her dress, somehow she still smiled.
“It’s okay Spike.” Twilight returned his hug. “Things change, and sometimes there are really big changes that are wonderful and terrible at the same time, but as far as Ponyville goes, I’m not going anywhere. Once these two weeks are over I’ll be back. After all,” She laughed, “Canterlot isn’t that far away and I am absolutely certain Celestia and I will work something out.”
The dragon’s fears were comforted, though his eyes remained puffy. “Y-you promise?”
“I promise.” Twilight made Pinkie’s ‘cupcake in her eye’ gesture and tried not to laugh. “After all, I’d be lost without my number one assistant!”
Spike sniffled, but regained his usual composure. “What would you do without me?” he proclaimed with only a little false bravado.
“Come on, I bet Rarity would like a dance.” She made to take him by the hand and lead him back inside but they were stopped by a large white pony in a lavender gown.
“Go on Spike,” Celestia requested. “Twilight and I need to talk.“ Spike’s eyes widened in surprise, but he did as asked. “So...”
“Are we together?” Twilight asked, meeting Celestia’s eyes with hope. Her blunt side was always three steps ahead.
“I desire that, yes, but there are things you must know.” Celestia walked to her friend’s side and stood beside her.
Twilight took shelter under her princess’s wing. “I may know more than you think.”
“You always do.” Celestia nodded, smiling at Twilight’s observation. Though the Princess’s joy remained, her age weighed on her expression and she sighed, giving her gaze to the night sky. “There weren’t stars when Luna began the night,” she said cryptically.
Any other pony would exclaim surprise or disbelief, but Twilight Sparkle nodded, receiving her lesson.
“Luna keeps her memories in them, each star a pony she once knew.” A chill breeze forces the couple together, for warmth they tell themselves, but warmth of what kind? ”One by one, the ponies passed and the sky filled. As the night overflowed with light she made the new stars dimmer and dimmer, so that today most you cannot see on your own, but each she remembers and knows intimately. Look at the stars Twilight.” Twilight did as asked and suddenly felt very small, yet protected by the warmth beside her.
“You would be a single star among millions in my life and one day-” Celestia stuttered, trying to not be overwhelmed by the idea. “One day I will not remember you, though I love you, one day you will be but a passing star in the night sky.” As if for her life, her wing held on to Twilight.
Twilight’s mind analyzed, passing over the admission of love to be filed away for later happiness. “I will still know you and care for you all of my life.” She embraced Celestia closely. “Every day of it. As much as Starswirl loved magic.”
Celestia’s suspicions raised concerning what her sister had let slip of their plans, and the possibility... No, Celestia wouldn’t let her thoughts go down that road. Though Twilight was an amazing student, that was still no guarantee she would figure it out. If the time came.
“What do you know of Starswirl?” Celestia inquired,
Twilight’s ears perked, happy to change conversation to something more steeped in learning possibilities. “That he devoted so much of his life to magic his contributions to magical theory number more than any other pony.”
Relieved that Twilight knew nothing of her and her sister’s plans, Celestia took the ‘let’s learn!’ direction of the conversation and carried it further. While the two became lost in magical theory they sat a little closer together, their tails unconsciously pressing against one another and sharing play. If anypony were to stumble upon them they would be privy to the great lost secrets of Equestria, yet would have no idea what those secrets were and be lost themselves in a cacophony of jargon. To Twilight it was the most romantic moment of her life.
Eventually the conversation trailed to a stop, leaving them without dialogue or communication but with the most important thing, company. Tears came again to Twilight as she realized her great luck. “I love you Celestia,” she whispered. “It’s very selfish of me to ask you to care for me back.” She held her princess tight. “I’ll have my whole life, but you... I’m sorry Celestia.”
A gentle nuzzle from Celestia comforted her. “I was thinking the same thing, dear Twilight. I’m sorry you won’t be here to share it with me, but I will be happy while you are here for me.”
Celestia giggled in a soft song. “Twilight Sparkle. I want to spend my evenings gazing at the stars with you. I want to learn all of magic with you. I want to make you laugh, make you happy. I want to spend quiet days just sipping tea across from you.” Twilight blushed head to hoof, having heard her own speech said back to her. “Will you be my special somepony?”
“Yes, Tia.”
* * *
Though the party lasted late into the evening, all good things must come to an end. At midnight Celestia and Twilight bid farewell to the others and made the fateful walk to rest. The alicorn stopped outside her bedroom.
“Twilight, I want to savor this.” Celestia’s companion nodded and they sat beside one another in comfortable silence, gazing at the stars.
“Everfree,” Celestia said.
“What’s that Tia?”
Celestia blushed red, much more than she should have at just a nickname, but a wonderful joy built within her when Twilight said it. “My last name. Is Everfree.” Her heart went pitter pat, thumping with delight as Twilight leaned on her. It was such a little gesture, but one that meant so much to her that she again fought back tears.
The last few days played through her mind: returning to Canterlot, Twilight by her side, constant tests of will, the argument with her sister, the court and Chrysalis.
Chrysalis.
Something dawned on Celestia. “She was talking to you,” Celestia said. She would brave the Gates of Tartarus for you. “You asked her to tell the secret... Chrysalis was talking to you about what I would do for you . She had known that I would brave the gates of Tartarus for you Twilight.” The ‘evil’ queen had given her a true gift, though badly wrapped.
Twilight giggled sleepily. “I’m glad.” The young pony was falling asleep on her hooves and in her dreamy state it made perfect sense for a yellow aura to surround her, carry her to bed and tuck her in with care. Celestia had to wonder if the pony had had a full night’s sleep in a long time. She would let her rest this night. Of course, Celestia didn’t want her to be cold, no that just wouldn’t do! Maybe just a wing , she told herself, scooting closer to her Twilight.
* * *
Dear Rarity,
Rarity was startled by the fact that she could read the tea bag she had been dunking in her morning coffee. It was surprising to her to discover it was actually a scroll and then humiliating for her to remember teabags weren’t to be dunked in coffee. She proceeded to unroll the scroll with all the care of a house fire. The train ride back from Canterlot had been delayed for the better part of an hour meaning she had gotten zero sleep and there was always work to do.
Generosity is an easy word to throw around. Being generous with your time is limited to giving a pony your company, a generous gift is any gift at all, and taking time to help somepony else is considered generous. A bit less so when it’s a duty.
Last night, you, all of you, went out of your way to try and give me some happiness and... it worked. I’m having a hard time using magic, a hard time writing, a hard time putting together words and my hooves are shaking. I’m just so happy. You. Every last one of you... you mean the world to me.
My most moving lesson in friendship so far is this: Generosity is friendship. Go out of your way to make your friends smile, to give them gifts, to listen to them, to give them your heart, and to be there for them.
I cannot thank you and the other girls (and Spike!) enough for last night. Thank you thank you thank you thank you.
With all my love,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. Please share this letter with the others.
Some stupid coffee still stained the parchment. It kept falling, despite Rarity’s best efforts, one salty drop at a time.
* * *
It was warm.
Twilight had again awoken to be covered in feathers, but this time they were accompanied by limbs, hair, and was that Tia’s heartbeat right on her ear? She melted into the heat of the morning sunlight. Sunlight means Celestia got up, raised the sun, and came back into bed to cuddle , she reasoned. That or Luna is pulling double duty again. Either way, Twilight grinned like a fool.
The day had only just begun, but her trial was over and in the best possible way. Celestia was finally her princess proper. Not a lost friend, apathetic ruler, or strict mentor, but a pony she held close to her. Again and again she nuzzled her companion and it didn’t matter where, just that she was welcome to. It felt much better than a pillow.
“Twilight.” Her cuddle buddy was awake. Quick, she told herself. Think of something clever to say!
“Mmmmmrrrrnnrnnn.” Her greeting was slurred into her companion’s neck. Not exactly clever, but it got the point across. She hoped.
Celestia’s chest tickled her with a giggle .“Good morning to you too.”
The morning light made her ears burn, at least, that’s the reason she told herself she was blushing. “Do you think,” she asked, meeting Celestia’s eyes, “Would it be too far for me to want to... um...” The reality of just how close together they were sunk in to Twilight. She whispered her request into Tia’s ear and blushed fiercely when her princess nodded.
Celestia unfurled a wing and Twilight was given her first lesson on how to preen.
* * *
The week after came and went with a lot and not a lot happening at once. Twilight was introduced to the court as the ‘Confidant to the Sun’ and while normally there would be an official Ceremony, Luna told the two to wait.The Princess was hiding something, but Twilight was content to let it go for the moment. She owed Luna that much. The Night Princess had given up a great deal of her own time to take on some of Celestia’s duties so that the new couple might have time to visit one another.
Of course the pony folk saw the revelation as nothing new and the court saw the world ending. ‘The sun doesn’t take consort’ came the cries from the pulpit. ‘Celestia is not just some mare .’ ‘She’ll be giving this mare favor over us.’ ‘Two mares don’t belong together.’ Celestia was wondering why Luna had let the last group in, as they were normally too disruptive, but their statement raised more than a few eyebrows. It caused many to question their own fears, given that the particular issue had been settled for hundreds of years.
* * *
Upon her return home Twilight snuck in to Ponyville to allow herself to unpack in peace. Pinkie would insist on an immediate party and that would keep her from having things organized for much too long. Out of her saddlebag came some scrolls, a few books, borrowed with permission from Luna, Rarity’s ‘Celestia’ dress, and she took the most care unpacking a burned wooden box. She allowed herself to indulge in her memories for a little. Inside it each assortment met her and she fondly compared the past to the present. A pleasant notion came over her and she hoofed through her journal and looked for a certain page.
“Ah!” There it was: an old checklist.
Learn how to teleport: Check
Find out what’s in the donuts Joe sells: Check
Get Spike to wake up on time: Check. Uncheck. Check. Work in progress.
Make parents proud: Check and Star
Learn everything about magic: Never check this!
Get brother out of the house: Check
Get over Princess:
That was the end of the list, as far as Twilight knew, but the last entry had been crossed out and replaced with a message from Celestia.
‘Never let yourself down’
Twilight smiled. She never would. Her thoughts turned to the secret she had yet to spring on her marefriend and she had just the lesson to tie things together. Quill at the ready and parchment in hoof she set to writing.
Dear Spike,
“Twilight!” The young dragon tripped over his feet getting to her, dropping the cakes he was carrying with reckless abandon. “You’re back! Why didn’t you tell anypony?”
“Spike, take a letter,” she responded.
There was silence as his face dropped. “Really? No, ‘hey Spike, what’s up?’ Or ‘how have you been Spike?’ I have a life too ya know.”
Twilight giggled and set her own quill to parchment, floating a set to her assistant “Trust me on this one.” Spike shrugged, taking up quill and paper as always.
“Dear Spike,” The young dragon was confused, but continued. “In the last few days I’ve learned many valuable lessons on friendship. I think this is the most important lesson I could learn. Where you are doesn’t make your home and while four walls and a roof are necessary, spending time with good friends, laughing, smiling, thinking, and doing what you love is what makes where you are a home. It’s very important, did you get that Spike? Im-por-tant to be with the ones you care for, especially when choosing those who live with you. Your Faithful Companion, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight finished her copy with a flourish, giving hers to Spike and taking his. “What do you think, Spike?”
There was no response, then a shrug as he tried to dismiss the emotions of the letter he clutched to. “It’s all mushy stuff.”
Twilight smirked. “Whatever you say, my faithful assistant, it’s your letter.”
“I know,” despite his resistance his eyes watered. “There’s one thing I don’t get though. Aren’t you supposed to write these letters to Princess Celestia?”
“Very observant my number one assistant.” She gestured to the pile of scrolls before her. “Which is why I’m going to go upstairs and send her my copies right away. In the interim can I ask you to tell the others I’m back?”
“Inter- wha?”
“Get our friends, Spike.” Twilight rolled her eyes.
“Right away!” He saluted and set to his task.
Watching him as he left the library was the reminder she needed of home. Canterlot had a welcome home waiting for her, both at the palace and with her parents, but so was here. This was their home, and Celestia’s, Fluttershy’s, Rarity’s, Applejack’s, and Rainbow’s home too. A big important laugh lifted her heart while she climbed to her bedroom, scrolls in tow.
“Twenty-eight minutes,” a voice from her bedroom told her.
“To get here or you were waiting?” Twilight asked her princess who lay casually across her bed.
Celestia laughed, “To get here, and I could use the exercise. Being Princess has it’s lazy disadvantages.”
“Tea?” Twilight asked into a welcoming nuzzle.
“Yes, please,” her princess whispered.
“Dear Princess Celestia- Tia,” Twilight started. Understanding, Celestia lay at attention, tongue literally in cheek and a smile on her face while Twilight prepared a kettle of water. “Before my stay in Canterlot you asked me to continue writing my letters of friendship and despite the flurry that met us when we collided, I did. Every time I learned a lesson in friendship I wrote a pony close to me, but I also made a hoofwritten copy so that I might be able to surprise you with everything I learned by the end of my stay. While the time didn’t end as I expected, there are six letters in total for you to read at your leisure.” Parchment floated softly to Celestia’s hooves. ”Enclosed is what I have learned. Your Dearest Friend, Twilight Sparkle.”
The Princess was happy, surprised, and eager. “Read them to me,” she commanded.
“No.” Twilight stuck her tongue out at princess fluffybutt and offered the ruffled alicorn a cup of tea.
“Let me try that again,” Celestia inhaled the tea’s scent, a sweet chamomile. “Please read them with me?”
“Yes.”
The Sun and the Twilight lay together, and amidst affectionate tugs and nuzzles, shared their memories. “Dear Applejack...”
* * *
Memories, so many warm and happy memories came flooding back to her.
How many years had it been? A thousand? Two? It was too many for Celestia to count. Removing the enchanted ring, the glint of a ruby crystal caught her attention. Clever Twilight. Clever, adorkable Twilight. With this she could relive those memories, free from the burden of time and the forgetfulness of forever. She cried: the happiest sad she had ever been. She would never forget how she had fallen in love.
Do lavender wings come to comfort her in an embrace? Does a test passed and new magic made grant an immortal life? Is hard work and study enough to change or are we stuck in the caste we are born to?
Is the world so perfect?
“I love you Twilight.”
Author's Note
And that's the end!
Thanks all for reading my fic, I hope you enjoyed it.
All said and done, I'm still looking for editors for the next submission! I'd like to improve my pacing, plot points, jokes, setting... everything really. I want to be a better writer. I am willing to exchange making illustrations in any of the styles present in this fic for editing services.
* * * Special thanks * * *
I'll update this with specific names when I have time, but my heart goes out to all the people who helped make this fic what it is. Thanks for your help!
~~ The following occurs mid season three~~
~~Any resemblance to characters fictional or otherwise is purely silly~~
The case of memories opened for her magic. A few odd objects lay inside, each with their own story that she tried to remember. There was a silver glint from a ring that she didn’t recall seeing the last time. Curious, she tilted her horn to put the ring on.
Chapter 1: Confessions
It was a lazy summer day, though that never stopped Twilight Sparkle from doing her studies on a regular basis. Vacation time was no excuse to stop working. However, despite her commitment, she allowed herself to indulge in the agonizing, yet delicious torture of daydreaming. After all it wasn't bad to think about them being together. Was it? She gazed out her bedroom window into the wide open sky, thinking of her secret. Her crush.
The warmth of the sun beat down upon her in her dreamy state. She should have been doing her studies, but Twilight let her mind wander in spite of herself. The conversations she wanted to share with her crush ran through her mind. They would talk about nothing, let loose secrets and, when Twilight was feeling daring, they would make breathtaking analyses. Thoughts of such dangerous critical thinking made her fidget, uneasy in her seat.
Morning passed for her with little change, her eyes glazing over. She was moments from falling asleep when a knock at the door startled her into falling off the bed. In her dreamy state, Twilight had thought it must be her crush at the door, but that would be jumping to conclusions and Twilight Sparkle was confident that she didn’t do that. Or at least she tried not to.
“Ow.” At least she was awake now, she reasoned.
“Are ya there? Twilight!” Applejack called.
Relieved that it was not the pony of her daydreams, she trotted down the library stairs and let her friend in. “Hello, AJ, what can I do for it-” Twilight stuttered. “You?” She hoped the freckled mare wouldn’t catch her slip up.
“Ah’m here cause you wanted me over for lunch.” Applejack gave her a questioning stare, as Twilight checked her schedule more than anypony but if Applejack was any judge Twilight looked more surprised than a rooster in a hen house. “Remember?”
“Oh, right, yes. I wouldn’t forget.” Twilight said, clapping her hooves. Her schedule was happening exactly on time for once! “But I am a little distracted,” she continued. She retrieved her pre-prepared lunches from their respective, readied receptacles, placing them upon the coffee table. “And that distraction is exactly why I wanted to talk to you today.”
Now, to get down to business, Twilight thought. She arranged herself, sitting up straight, eyes forward and a smile on her face. “What I wanted to talk to you about. Is... is...” Her happy mask faded as quick as it had come and her words paused mid sentence.
AJ laughed, an amused laugh that echoed her hearty nature. “Well shoot, Twi. You call me over here, putting this lunch together weeks in advance like it’s all really important and when I get here ya ain’t got nothing to say!” Applejack tried to hide more laughs after she saw her friend’s red cheeks, but they came anyway. An awkward silence passed between them.
The librarian’s mane was in a tussle, she was blushing and her raised shoulders made her look crumpled in on herself. What’s worse is Applejack’s attempt at a good natured ribbing hadn’t done anything to help the situation. Poor Twilight, Applejack thought. Twilight started awkwardly playing with her tail. Applejack sighed; she knew what she had to do.
Twilight was so involved in trying to think of how to confess her crush without embarrassment that the warmth of a friendly hug threw her off guard. Applejack smiled. “Tell me what’s going on Sugarcube. You know you can trust me.” Twilight leaned into her friend. AJ’s words rang true. She could always depend on Applejack to be there as a loyal friend. Or was she the honest one?
“I,” she started, “I kinda-” Her body stiffened. “Have a crush on somepony.” She cringed, waiting for the inevitable explosion of emotion. Here it came: the lecture, the talk and her eventual breakdown. Seconds ticked by in agony yet the pleasant summer day continued.
“That’s all?”
Twilight’s thoughts were a fervor, her face running through emotions until it found indignation. That’s all? That’s all? This is a big deal! You don’t just shrug off- AUGH!
AJ’s sandwich all but disappeared in a single bite. “No offense there Twi, but you had me real worried. I mean, the lunch, the schedule, and you’re frettin’ like a nervous school filly. A crush is,” Applejack thought for a moment, putting her hoof to her chin. “Well, it’s perfectly normal.” Her words were a statement of calm, simple fact.
Twilight took a deep breath; her friend was right. Everypony had a crush every once in awhile, right? Her books said so. “I asked you over today to-” she stuttered again. If Applejack was correct, why was that stutter still stopping her voice? Why did she want Spike to come by and distract them? Why was her heart beating at an excessive rate? Emotions... they always interfered with her analysis.
Lunch had been so easy to plan in her head: Invite Applejack over, explain how she feels, dissect the problem and use Applejack’s penchant for advice to come up with a solution! But now, as push came to shove, her heart fluttered and she had to catch her breath.
She pushed past her fears to speak her mind. “I want to ask some weird questions. I mean, I feel this way and I can’t think straight when I should really be studying, but there’s nothing I can do about the crush. Well, there’s something, this is something but this won’t make the feelings go away but I don’t want them to go away, should they go away? And... AUGH!” Twilight’s face met her table in an undignified thump . “I want this part to be over,” she mumbled into the wood.
AJ went blank and stopped chewing as an idea entered her head. “Twilight?”
“Yes?” She lifted her head from the desk, her face puffy.
“Do y’all have a crush on me? I mean, I wouldn’t normally think you’re into mares but this is... something.”
The exasperation on Twilight’s face softened as she chuckled. “No, Applejack. You’re a reasonable friend, but this is somepony else.”
Applejack had to resist rolling her eyes, after all only Twilight would consider ‘reasonable’ a compliment. “Do I know him?” she asked.
“Her,” Twilight blurted, putting her hooves over her mouth in a futile attempt to stop what had already been said. AJ’s surprise was plain as day. Twilight bit her lip and continued. “And yes, you do, but I don’t want to say who it is. I just- I want to tell you about it and see if there’s anything we can do.” Applejack swallowed the last of her bite, nodding.
“I’ve felt this way for a while.” Again rambling her thoughts her hooves worked over one another and she stumbled over her words. “I’ve tried pushing it away, and I’ve thought that the feelings weren’t right or it was just a harmless infatuation. But...”
AJ could see where this was going. “You’ve fallen head over horseshoes for her?” she said in sympathy.
“Yeah,” Twilight sighed, staring into space, conversation once on the tip of her tongue lost to thoughts of her crush.
As far as Applejack knew the nerdy mare didn’t know apples from oranges when it came to romance. But the shy, nervous nature of the usually direct, active pony told her that this was more than a little crush. “Awww,” AJ’s heart melted. “That’s great news Twi.”
Twilight sighed, returning her thoughts to the present. “No, it isn’t.” She fiddled with her uneaten sandwich. “I am unable to fulfill my crush. You’ll have to trust me when I say it is impossible. I’ve taken full stock of every possibility and avenue and there’s nothing I can do.” She punctuated her words with an air of certainty. “She is-” Twilight stammered, ”She is not mine to have. Not that she’s taken, or... or she can’t care for me. She’s just- Her and I don’t go together like that.” Her hesitations were becoming worse, betraying her faltering emotions. “But I like her so, so much. It’s not a simple kind of crush I don’t think. I’ve tried time and again to dismiss it, move on and tell myself to get over this fantasy.”
The depth of sadness in her words made Applejack go in for another hug. Twilight made a move to shrug AJ off, but accepted her friend’s help, holding on for a moment.
“I want to,” Twilight whispered, “I want to do all kinds of things with her. What’s worse is: I like thinking about her. I make up fantasies, ignore my studies and I enjoy it. I think about what we would say to one another. I think about enjoying her company and I even think about... other things we could do together. Math for one.”
Applejack bit her lip to hold back a laugh. She had a lot to think about, and there wasn’t a whole lot of her sandwich left to think on. They sat in silence until Twilight began her meal. Her symmetrical bites left and right caused AJ to let loose a giggle, and while Twilight gave her a look, the play of the interaction lit up the mood.
“Now ah don’t mean to go picking at sour grapes.” Twilight’s inner bookworm twitched at the false analogy. “But are you absolutely, positively sure that nothing can come of this here infatuation?”
“Positive.” Twilight slumped.
“And she’s a good friend, right? You two aren’t about to split ways over this?”
“I- I don’t think we would.” Her pose was uncertain and she huddled in on herself again.
“If you want my opinion, Sugarcube, and it seems like ya do.” Applejack met her eyes, her voice calm and soothing. Advice Applejack , Twilight observed, the side of the mare that Twilight had set up this whole lunch for. “Your best bet is to just talk to the mare. If she’s your friend she’ll understand. I’ll even stand there ‘side you if you want, and I’m sure any of our friends would do the same.”
That was not what Twilight wanted to hear. “I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.” Her eyes shut. “No no no no no. This isn’t something that you just... just do!”
Her look of terror did nothing to sway the other pony, AJ’s smile turning into a scornful lip bite. “Now you know this isn’t healthy, Twi, otherwise you wouldn’t a called on me to help you out.” Instead of the anger Twilight expected, Applejack’s voice remained compassionate, if loud. “So stop acting like a school filly and tell her!”
Twilight was taken aback by the outburst, but her eyes glinted with hope, wanting Applejack to be right. “You... you’re sure our friends will help?” She asked, her timidity ebbing.
“Of course I am Twi. It’s the honest truth when I say we all care for you and it doesn’t matter which of us it is, we’ll help you be as happy as we can.” Although AJ’s words seemed to resonate with her, Twilight was still visibly uncomfortable. What could make her comfortable , Applejack thought. Aha! “Come on now.” Applejack winked. “Let’s put together a... a checklist.”
Twilight brightened.
* * *
Why was she considering this? This was a bad idea, a life changingly, late for an assignment bad idea. Despite her earlier enthusiasm, Twilight Sparkle was back to being a nervous wreck and looking to prove it by digging a trench in her living room with her pacing. Spike looked on, more than a little amused. Her inner monologue was at war. I can tell my friends at least... can’t I? Well, not the one friend who I... oh dear.
“Spiiiike!”
The dragon flinched. “I’m right here Twilight.” His monotone cut through her introspection.
“Ah. Yes. Good.” Her stuttering was starting to grate on her nerves. ”Take a letter.” With quill and parchment in hand Spike was ready, having pulled the objects from who knows where. With a deep breath in and a releasing breath out Twilight calmed herself, considering exactly what to write. It was more important than anything that she trust her friends, especially now. She knew this was a good lesson for her and that was just where to start her letter. “Dear Princess Celestia, Sometimes you have to trust your friends...”
* * *
Twilight and Applejack’s checklist for a truth telling get together:
Step one: Talk Pinkie Pie into putting together a party.
Step two: Tell her that it's just for the six of them.
Step three: Tell her to keep it quiet and simple.
Step four: Repeat steps two and three until effective.
Step five: Double check the checklist and prepare for all possible conversations.
Step six: Wait until tomorrow for party.
Of the six steps on Twilight’s checklist she had only crossed off one, two, and three. As for step four, well, being in Sugarcube Corner and convincing Pinkie Pie to be calm was like being in a tornado and convincing the wind to be still.
“We’ll have streamers, starlight, sundaes, salsa, and super duper fun!” Speaking of tornados, Twilight would be impressed with Pinkie’s impression of one bouncing around her if she weren’t on edge in anticipation for the party. ”Oooo, and we can have cake and pie and of course we’ll invite all our friends and-” Somehow that tornado was smiling.
“Pinkie.” Twilight’s serious and almost annoyed voice must have resonated somewhere in the pink pony’s brain, for she took that moment to cease her bouncing whirlwind and look at Twilight. A party favor lay as conspicuous evidence of fun in her mouth.
Trying to keep her firm on the ground Twilight rested her hooves on Pinkie’s shoulders. A sigh escaped her lips, perhaps Pinkie would understand if she were more blunt? “It’s not a normal party, in fact, it’s not much of a party at all,” The unicorn attempted to reason.
Pinkie’s face and favor dropped. “Of course it’s a party silly.” There was something sad behind Pinkie’s smile. “Because all our friends will be there.”
Chuckling, Twilight nodded. “Oh Pinkie. You’re right.” She hugged her friend close, reigniting the pony’s playful personality. Pinkie cared for her friends, all several hundred of them, and any time with them was cause for a celebration.
“But,” Twilight said.
“Buuuuuuuuuutt?” Pinkie snickered.
Twilight shared in the snicker. The way Pinkie said it made Twilight think of the other butt. “But,” She emphasized her point with a kind, but firm, hoof to the chest. “It must be private. Just us six.”
Pinkie thought for a moment. A private party could be fun still, but there was something suspiciously unfun about the way Twilight was acting. While Pinkie’s normal solution to this would be to bring even more friends to the party that never seemed to cheer Twilight up more than annoy her. Annoyed and unfun Twilight could still be fun, but this party was for her to have fun. Pinkie had just the promise to keep things simple.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Her face was in ‘serious mode’, oblivious to the silly gestures her hooves were making.
Twilight couldn’t resist laughing, calming down from her earlier apprehension.
Step four: Check!
* * *
Step six: Wait.
It was already past sundown, but there was still enough time left before Pinkie arrived for Twilight to prepare for certain other activities. Safe inside her bedroom she checked the lock on her door. Should a certain purple dragon choose to interrupt her daydreams it would be beyond embarrassing. Happy to wander in her thoughts she lay on a pillow, relaxing.
The experiences that interested her were not at all what a normal pony would consider a daydream, but that was what made them important to her. Simple conversations were special, immersing herself in discussion with her mare friend, or perhaps a comfortable silence and being in the same room with together while she studied.
One particular indulgence was all too normal, at least, she hoped so. Muscles. There wasn’t anything special about muscles. Specifically she knew they were Constrictions of fiber which served to aid in locomotion, but there was something hypnotic in them that drew Twilight to hers . She remembered staring at them when she thought her crush wasn’t looking. Walking with the other pony was trance like every time she watched her crush’s front leg and rear leg move and press the muscles back and forth. She blushed.
Twilight double checked the door.
The conversations she recalled having with her crush were so deep it made her shiver from their analyses running unchained, and the math... Twilight bit her lip. The math was something else. She squirmed in her place, thinking of her crush’s soft lips speaking with quiet abandon to her, the words revealing her lo- crush’s mystery and intrigue. Desire came to the little pony and she reveled in it, splaying out on the pillow and hugging it to her. She was happy. Deluded, she knew, but happy.
“I want to make those lips happy.” She gave her pillow an affectionate nuzzle, trying not to make her attachment to it creepy.
Her affections were strange, she knew that. They made her knees weak and distracted her from her studies, like any old crush. The strangeness was that she didn't want to do anything about it. Thoughts of what would happen were it fulfilled or revealed were more terrifying than anything. When her mind wandered and imagined any one of a thousand pleasant possibilities she was happy but bringing it to light would take away her ability to pretend. She enjoyed pretending she was discussing her dark thoughts on magical theory and analysis with her crush. Then there was the more innocent imagination of playing with her feathers, and thoughtful discussions that were more memories than imagination.
Be that as it was, Twilight knew why she had to move on. The crush was distracting her from her work and her fantasies weren’t real. They were constructions of impossible scenarios that after careful analysis she knew had to stop. Twilight was good at this kind of analytical conclusion, but feeling right about them on the other hoof... that was hard.
“Augh!” she grumbled and stomped her hooves, showing a sudden dislike for her once beloved pillow. Being able to let go and fantasize was something she looked forward to at the end of the day, but real life came first and distractions weren’t a help in her studies or in her duties as the Element of Magic.
Maybe... maybe she could imagine just a little more. Just this last night before she told them. Before she told her.
* * *
Rarity sighed. It was late afternoon and this dress was not coming together. On top of that another appointment weighed on her mind, making it hard for the fashionista to concentrate. “I still can not fathom why Twilight would need us to get together for a ‘party’ tonight.” A rush order had come from a group of models in Canterlot that expected to entertain the high court and Rarity was the only fashionista willing to take it on short notice. This... party was an interruption she could not afford. “I’m pushing this order as it is and I just can’t come.”
“But... Um...” From the corner came the gentle protest of her friend Fluttershy. While the yellow pegasus was there to help as best she could with measurements and fitting, Rarity placed more value in her company. “Pinkie was kind of insistent.”
“Oh, I know! She was bouncing off the walls.” Rarity’s biting gaze fell on some hoofprints on her ceiling. “Literally.”
Without warning, a terrible ripping sound came from the sewing machine and it jammed with fabric, sputtering to a halt. Rarity was struck speechless, her expression frozen like a statuette. This was new. She was not some common seamstress and this did not happen to her. A very unladylike grumble escaped her lips.
The day was lost. Well, it wasn’t really lost, but the last fifteen minutes had been completely undone and it irked the unicorn. There were times when she worked too hard on too much too fast and she didn’t want this to be one of them, but it was. It was the end of her rope and any more dressmaking would become a disaster, despite her efforts and experience.
At times like these she found the the best cure was to socialize. There was also an urgency to the party’s suddenness that made Rarity wonder what more there was to it. Perhaps the party wouldn’t be too bad...
“Fine!” Rarity said. “Let’s go. I’ll just have to make this up tomorrow. But for now,” her eyes shone with an evil glint, “Go away!” She was, of course, talking to the mess of fabric which she shoved, not at all in a mess, into a corner.
The ‘violence’ caused Fluttershy to cower.
“I’m so sorry dear.” Rarity offered her a hoof up. “Tell you what, let’s take a little walk to clear our heads before we head out to this social event.”
“That sounds... nice.” Shy’s earlier cowering was forgotten and her smile genuine as she followed her friend closely out the door.
* * *
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
“Waugh!” Meeting the ground for the second time in as many days hurt. Twilight made a mental note to try and be more aware and less easily startled when daydreaming. Looking over, she placed her research papers on equine anatomy under her bed. “Coming! Coming! Just... give me a minute.” It must be Pinkie coming early to set up for the party, she reasoned, as that would make the most sense.
With a gentle, magical tug the front door opened for Twilight’s visitors. “Darling!” Rarity yelled.
The library looked clean and pristine, the tables set and everything was in it’s place, leaving Rarity with the impression of nothing to do. “Or perhaps just some company?” She offered.
“I’m sorry Twilight,” Fluttershy said, almost whispering. ”I hope we’re not bothering you.” She avoided looking at Twilight, or Rarity, or the horsehead statuette, which could be very intimidating.
“Of course not Fluttershy,” Twilight countered, smiling brightly. “You’re both just in time. I’m about to run measurements of the influence of altitude and density of water vapors on the refraction of light.”
Twilight’s friends blinked.
“That sounds... nice.”
Rarity bit the bullet and asked the obvious. “And what is that, exactly?” A happy giggle came from Twilight at her query.
“I’m watching the sunset of course.” At least Fluttershy had understood what she meant, Twilight hoped. Maybe, she thought. Maybe Fluttershy understands, and maybe I just want her to get it.
“You can join me if you want, girls” Her measurements were a part of her summer self-assigned coursework and if doing them meant spending time with Fluttershy and Rarity, then so much the better.
“Yes, please,” Fluttershy said, looking eager. The fashionista, on the other hoof, appeared bored by the idea, but nodded her head nevertheless.
Upon arriving at the balcony there was the unusual sound of rain. “Ah!” A splatter of wet drops hit Twilight right in the nose, surprising and confusing her since everything else in sight was dry. Repeated previous incidents told her exactly what was going on and she snickered to herself. “Very funny Rainbow.”
“Gotcha.” A playful squealing accompanied the pegasus’ remark. Rainbow Dash came out from above her stormcloud, very pleased at herself with her improvised practical joke. “Seriously though, these clouds are all over the place today. I’ve got some major busting to do if I’m going to make it to the party.” Ponies could say what they would about Dash being lazy, and most of it was true, but when she got around to starting something she worked hard till it was finished.
Upon a firm kick to its side the cloud dissapated. “I’ll catch you later, gals.” Rainbow fake saluted and sped off towards a white speck in the distant sky.
Things are going to work ou t, Twilight told herself. She had research to do, friends to share it with and a clear plan of engagement for the future, ponies at her side.
Between adjusting the viewfinder on her 'telescope thingy', as Pinkie had often referred to it, and taking notes Twilight watched her companions. A smile graced Fluttershy’s lips as she gazed into the distance and Rarity seemed fascinated by nothing in particular. All the while the sun’s light bathed the valley in a bright orange. To each pony it was a beautiful sunset.
“So.” Rarity wanted conversation, to do something, talk, play, interactions of any kind! Twilight wasn’t the type to go so far as request a get together and the unusual suddenness of it was steeped in intrigue to her. It put a question on her tongue. “Why the sudden party?”
Scribbles came from Twilight’s paper, but no response.
“Twilight?”
Twilight tried to avoid the confrontation just a bit longer and finish her calculations. “I have an announcement to make, nothing major,” she said behind her parchment shield.
“Oh and what kind of an announcement is that?” The gossip pony prodded.
Shy’s ears had perked up, giving clear sign to Twilight that though Shy’s eyes were up in the clouds, her mind was right here.
“It’s personal.” Calculations were finished and her quill was set to the side, parallel to the parchment. “Everyone will know tonight” A pang hit her heart. She sighed. “Everyone.”
“My dear Twilight, can’t you tell us a little... early?” Rarity was eager for some good gossip and Fluttershy had turned to face Twilight, turning the conversation into an inquiry. Fluttershy never had to say anything to be in a conversation, everypony knew she was there and her reactions could be read with ease.
“No,” Twilight responded.
“Just a little bit?”
“I said no, Rarity.”
“One itsy bitsy little guess at what’s going to happen?” Rarity’s pouty lip did little to sway Twilight’s conviction but Fluttershy’s puppy eyes were quite effective.
Curse their double teaming cuteness , Twilight thought. “One hint,” she resigned.
“Wa ha ha!”
Regretting her decision already, Twilight began. “I... have a crush on somepony. It’s about time that pony knew. Nothing can be done about it. I like this pony,” I love her , “It cannot be returned, it’s incredibly distracting to my studies and I’d like to have this pony as a friend.”
In all her imagination Rarity would never have dreamed that Twilight of all ponies would have a crush! “Ohhh... tell me tell me tell me! Who is it? Do we know him? Her?” Her decision to gloss over the ‘cannot be returned’ part both incensed and delighted Twilight at the same time, but she would not be further swayed.
“You have your hint,” she stated. “If you’re not happy with it you’ll just have to wait another hour.”
Rarity pouted.
* * *
After further convincing, discussion, very clear charts and graphs, and an impromtu food fight, Twilight managed to reconvince Pinkie to keep the party simple: soft music, nice food, and sparse decorations. While Twilight may have been doing her best to stomp out the fun, Pinkie managed to hide some in the cakes.
There were a few murmurs of concern from her friends when Twilight received them each with an uncharacteristic hug. Pinkie wanted two. When Fluttershy’s lasted a little longer than the others Rarity put a hoof over her mouth, cogs turning in her mind. Fluttershy isn’t... she couldn’t be...
A look of empathy from Applejack let Twilight know she was there for support, but a bump to the shoulder prodded her to get to it. “It’s time, Sugarcube.”
“Right!” Twilight agreed. The night air was chill and so were her nerves, yet she still met everypony’s eyes. “I want to start at the beginning.”
“Go right ahead, dear.” Even if she would never tell anypony in a million years a close friend’s secret, it was always thrilling for Rarity to hear something nice and juicy.
Twilight’s was glad for Rarity’s encouragement, but her half-hearted smile held more fear than anypony expected. “There’s a pony. I’ve watched her for a while. We’ve... um... worked together from time to time.” Another deep breath, more composure and she would be ready. “I started t-to really like spending time with her. Side by side, talking, often of the things that most ponies consider mundane. Some time spent together here, some there. I would say on an average week we spend roughly-” Her analysis was getting her off track.
Twilight coughed.
“I began to feel things. Non-friend things, and it isn’t right and it isn’t healthy and I need to move on. It’s just a crush.” No it isn’t, her inner thoughts betrayed her. “Just a crush.” It was getting hard for Twilight to see, every word making her feel more and more distant. “A-and I need to move past it, and” Her breathing interrupted her. In, out, in, out... calm, she thought, your friends want to help.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack leaned on Twilight for a supportive hug. A welcome fourth member, an innocent dragon, joined in, though he didn’t quite comprehend what all the fuss was about.
Rarity piped up. “For what it’s worth I think Fluttershy would at least be willing to give it a try.” Shocked stares and silence met her slip of the tongue and she responded with a sheepish grin. “Sorry.”
Twilight blinked. “It’s... not her.” Fluttershy looked almost disappointed. “It’s P-”
“Pinkie?” Pinkie asked.
“Princess Celestia.”
“Darn.” Fluttershy’s meek response surprised everypony, mostly herself.
If silence were a food, and some unicorns argue that it can be made to be so, the silence of everypony thinking that the crush was Fluttershy would have been a sweet dessert. A nice treat, but not for everyone. This current silence, with Twilight confessing her crush for the sun incarnate was an intimidating seven course meal.
There was a regal knock at the door.
Author's Note
My first fimfic! I'm excited, but there are a couple notes:
I like making art for fimfics and others
I need a dedicated editor/editors for future stories. I am more than willing to trade making pics for editing services.
