Chapters This work is fictitious. Any persons, places or happenings contained that are resembling the real life do so by fluke.
You turn around and run screaming at door. Crashing into with face does not open it, just make you knock out. Then door fall on you and make you flattest filly.
BAD END!
You stake out your territory, learning the bonds of spidering. You become the dominant spider in trees place and soon your webs are like buffet, except without cheap food.
Other spiders think they challenge you, but there is no winning. Eventually they begin to swear fealty so your awesomeness does not send them on way to destruction. You are named the Spider Queen. In just months your Queendom spans two whole groves!
Then, one day, while basking in the awe of your subjects, a bird swoops down and eats you.
BAD END!
Blingy gasps. “How dare you talk about my mother that way! Now you must pay!”
You are then dragged off to court where you are sued for all your coins. Since you are not having many coins, they also take from your parents. You become homeless on streets, but at least you got your cutie mark... in losing money. You go on to become world’s most funny, but poopy gambler
You get welfare and mooch off society for rest of your life.
VICTORY!
Prince of Horseplace looks down from the rock, pleading in his eyes. “Soft, fair maiden... spider, for I will still keep my end!”
If you decide he is evil for having tricked you and to get some revenge, turn to page 72. If you demand he fix this, turn to page 24. If you remember girl spiderses eat their husbandses, turn to page 66.
Your mother tucks you in and kisses you wellnight. As she closes the door, you drift off into a far, dreamless sleep.
When you wake, you are on woods floor. The trees have terrible shapes and the sound of evil is everywhere.
If you run around screaming, turn to page 15. If you leave the forest, turn to page 19. If you decide you must be making the scouting by looking out of tree, turn to page 59.
Even with filly wings, you get safely to ground. However, you have landed in dead end place. You see only one exit between boulders.
Follow the path out and turn to page 30.
Inside are scary masks that stare. But you are not really afraid because you are bravest filly. There is also boiling water pot.
“Foolish filly! You should have run instead of being silly! For I am an evil enchantress and I will eat up your... pantses!”
If you run away, turn to page 3. If you point out she can’t be an evil enchantress because you’re not wearing any pants, turn to page 52. If you ask what pantses tasteses likeses, turn to page 64.
“No, filly, you are the crazy one.”
Suddenly, everything was so bright and the room was very white. You try to yell spider back, but he is gone and you are covered in soft white.
“Mister Horseplace! Where are you?” you cry out.
Just then, door opens its fissure so you see pony eyes. “Hush, filly, there is no Horseplace. You are being crazy again.”
“I am not crazy!” you yell, headbutting the walls until they fall down. But that time is very long and you are gotten by old age shortly afterward.
BAD END!
Lies! Nopony hates cupcakes!
If you continue the noms, turn to page 60.
“Very well, I shall cast my spell.”
Stripey does a meditation thingy where she makes eyes shutted. Much humming and hooming is made. You are becoming annoyed filly when Stripey’s eyes snap open. Her face is clearly having the horror.
“Your future brings the world evil dread. Sadly, I must now make you dead.”
If you demand to know what happens, turn to page 32. If you go toward door at running pace, turn to page 3. If you say that it is she who must die to avert evil dread, turn to page 65.
Stripey mare was not engaging in the deceivingness. Soon you can see that light that is surely from the moon. Night is still here, showing how you were fast.
With ninja-like stealth (with added sound effects, courtesy of you), you go home and slip back into bed.
Later you wake up to cutie mark for listening to strangers. In your future adventures, you jaunt across Equestria and find the fabled Internet.
There you find the madness of 4chan. Putting your cutie mark to test, you go for power taking. They call you troll, but that silly. You clearly pony. Soon you can has army and you rule from high as Queen of 4chan.
VICTORY!
You blaze aimlessly through forest, screaming like little filly because you are little filly. Thumping feet and glowing eyes descend from every direction. They make nomming sounds as they jump in to gobble you up!
Then you are in your bedroom. Mother was right and you are glad to have heeded her words. The next morning you discover you have gotten your cutie mark in un-adventure. You are safe for the rest of your long, boring days.
VICTORY!
You grab closest thing from table and throw at Stripey. It stab into her with grossest sound.
“No, not Zebra’s bane!” she cries. “My life it does drain!”
And then she falls over and is moving no longer.
If you search the hut, turn to page 47. If you go to leave, turn to page 54. If you are for setting hut on fire, turn to page 67.
“So are you!” he shouts back.
“That is true,” you admit.
“It is better this way.”
“Is it really?” You are not so sure.
Prince Horseplace nods. “Now that we are both ponies and especially because I have offered marriage, we will be boated. If we both small, it is less creepy. Besides, this does not diminish my fortune.”
You are taken to Horseplace, where the boating begins and the wedding is arranged. However, you both cannot take the pressure of boating and there is cracking of relationship. Drugs happen and then you are arrested.
One day in prison, you get more drugs, but it is actually poison and you fall over from it.*
Go tell the closest adult that ninjas teached you not to do drugs.
BAD END!
*(It makes you dead from its poisonyness.)
“It is too late to appeal, for your destiny your past choices do seal! However, there may be a way to win you the day.”
If you insist you don’t believe in that destiny hogwash and can overcome through awesome filly powers, turn to page 39. If you agree to do whatever it takes, turn to page 20.
You summon your inner mare and search for exit. You find clearing that looks strangely familiar.
If you lose your mind and run off screaming, turn to page 15. If you keep searching, turn to page 19. If you decide you must be making the scouting by looking out of tree, turn to page 59.
“If that is settled, then you must go back in time, in order to avert your crime. My spell will send you to the start. I wish you luck as we part.”
You are surrounded in swirly swirls. They swirl into your face making your mind swirly. And then you are in big, obsidian place. All around is nothing, but your heart knows the direction. You just have to elect it.
If you follow your heart’s election, turn to page 22. If you stay here, turn to page 58.
With a shrug, you do the closing of oculars and further sleeping. Inside of the seconds, you are back in forest.
Everything look very same. You know not where to be motioning.
If you run around screaming, turn to page 15. If you leave the forest, turn to page 19.
You get to woods so awesomely, you think surely ninjaing must be your special talent. Alas, your butt remains the barest of butts.
Anyway, the Everfree is green like. Very green like. And dark. You can still make out two paths: straight and slightly less straight.
If there must be adventure ahead, turn to page 35. If the side path sounds more funner, turn to page 27. If paths are for chumps, turn to page 43.
You have found an even secreter path that cuts through time and space! But there is problem with no air and you turn into blue filly and fall over.
BAD END!
“You turn me back right this instant!” You fume.
“I cannot, for I am not an evil enchantress,” explains Prince Horseplace. “But my bargain is true!”
Reluctantly, you must believe him. He makes well to his word and takes you back to his kingdom. There, he showers you in goods and affection. You are wed over the most expensive wedding ever, even more than digests about whatsherpinkface.
You live out your spider days in the crotch of richness. You no longer have need of a cutie mark, but if you did have one, it would be for best decision making.
VICTORY!
You run and jump off cliff, frantically flapping to keep height. You land safely across small chasm and stick your tongue out.
“No fair!” The zombie stomps from the cliff. Rocks fall away and you think that it must be very rickety.
If you goad zombie into more smashing, turn to page 45. (You have a horn) If you use your unicorn magic to collapse the cliff, turn to page 14. If you fly away, turn to page 69.
You take road that is crooked and down. Skinny path lets trees from more down area be seen. You are almost off cliff face when out of cave charges zombie.
“Braaaaains,” he moans.
If you tell him he does not need more brains, turn to page 44. (You have wings) If you use your tiny wings to glide out to rock platform, turn to page 25. (You have horn) If you use your unicorn magic to set him on fire, turn to page 51.
“Hey!” he shouts. “You think you are so clever, but you cannot outsmart zombie!”
You try to protest, but he has already nommed your brain. He will be regretful when he does get brainache. If only brainless pony could have last laugh, but no brain means mouth no worky.
BAD END!
“He told me enough! He told me you killed her!”
Nightmare Moon repairs you with a rocky stare. “No, I am your mother.”
Your mind is tumbling, ripped apiece by the whole new world of implementations! Everything clicks and your mouth is opening.
“That’s... actually pretty cool.”
Nightmare Moon grins and nods approvingly. You join forces and together are measuring the galaxy.
VICTORY!
You walk for while, but the path seems endless.
If you keep to path because there must be good stuff at the end, turn to page 35. If you get bored and go exploring, turn to page 43.
How did you even get to this place? You have no memory! It is like you were walking and suddenly field!
You see a flower, which looks very good for the shouting.
If you make with the shouting and shout “This whole place is crazy!”, turn to page 10. If you are sure reality has just glitched with error code is 404, turn to page 30.
“I guess I do owe, to you this tale of woe. Through thingamajigger you will find, comes the end of pony kind. Fire brings two countries to ash with residue of killer trash. Underground survivors hide until one mare brings a blood red tide. Across the surface she will hike, slaughtering all she does not like. Through sheer dumb luck this evil girl does save the world. But no hero can she be and twice doomed are we.”
If you make a solemn vow to avoid finding the thingamajigger, turn to page 18. If you call bullshit because no one is dumb enough to destroy two countries, turn to page 39. If you make for running at the door, turn to page 3. If you throw something at her, turn to page 16.
“I am sorry,” he says. “There is not eight of me. Horseplace is the land of ninja-ponies, but spiders are not ponies, so I could not use my ninja-pony powers. I seem to have gotten ferried away.”
With a wave of his hoof, seven of him are poofed.
“Oh, okay, that makes sense,” you reply, having hopelessly fallen for him. For who could resist the life of awesome that would be happening from marrying a charming ninja-pony prince?
He takes you back to his secret village where you are secretly wed and secretly trained in the arts of ninja-pony. You also secretly acquire your ninjaing cutie mark. In fact, it is so secret, there can be no perceiving it.
You live a happy life of ninjaing and other ninja stuff until one day the stock market crashes and takes all of Prince Horseplace’s investments with it. But it’s all well because you use your ninja powers to rob a bank.
VICTORY!
Before he can say another word, you gobble him up.
Didn’t you mommy ever tell you to watch what you put in your mouth?
You should have listened because now you have poison and are dead.
The lesson is you should always listen to authority figures. Now go apologize to your mother for being the ignorant (use closest adult if there is no getting her).
BAD END!
They say good things come to filly who pause. This time they clockwise. As you round the hundred-forty-millionth bend (truly, you’ve been counting), the path slices through patch of pretty blue flowers.
Flowers glitter and smell so good your mouth is wet.
If it is time for noms, turn to page 50. If you notice the strange tree-hut in the distance, turn to page 61.
You make the running leap and fly out window. Then you are falling right down. And you are splatting and having crumpled neck. Turns out you were wrong and there is no waking up.
BAD END!
“How considerate,” zombie says. “I will be back.”
He lumbers off.
-If you wait for zombie, leave book open on this pageIf you leave, turn to page 30.
“Wait, you have not claimed your prize where I see your future with my eyes.”
If you hesitate, leave the book open at this page.If you cannot resist the prize, turn to page 12.
You take the ball, never letting go except when giving to important people.
You cause apocalypse which then allow evil murderess to come to power and apocalypse Equestria again. Oops?
BAD END!
The ball made you do this, didn’t it?
Silly filly! You cannot dodge the destiny, even if you cheat!
You cause apocalypse which then allow evil murderess to come to power and apocalypse Equestria again.
BAD END!
You dive into the underbrush like the recklessly curious filly you are. An hour’s romp turns into two, then three. It is a miracle you were not eaten in the pitch blackness, but as a reckless filly, that thought does not cross your mind.
Instead you are wondering if rock in middle field would make good for sitting. Because even awesome fillies can need pause. Just when you are about to fathom, it yells, “NOOOOOOOOOO!”
Unsurprisingly, you are surprised.
If you sit down anyway, turn to page 53. If you talk to the rock, turn to page 26.
Zombie makes his speed zero and glares at you. “Yes, I do.”
“Ah,” you say, “but you speak clearly. That means you are full. You gotta be careful or you could get a brainache!”
“That is true.” He ponders.
If you call things settled and walk away, turn to page 28. If you offer to wait until it needs more brains again, turn to page 37. If you say grass is tastier, turn to page 68.
You insult zombie’s mother using every filthy word in that little filly head of yours. Which is very little and not actually very filthy. But point is, zombie gets the anger and stomps and fall down, go boom with cliff.
But now gap wider and you have the tired wings.
If you try to fly anyway, turn to page 56. If you try to hover down, turn to page 8.
You are too slow and rammed! You and zombie fall off cliff!
Luckily, you are marshmallow pony, so ground cannot give pain. Too bad fire not so good for marshmallow pony.
BAD END!
(You are melted.)
As you root through things, a voice calls to you. Softly, at first, then it is evacuating everything out of your mind. It beckons you to a shelf. In your mad trance, all things are thrown to floor.
Before you is giant ball, with ‘idiot’ written in big block letters.
You cannot resist. Turn to page 41.
“Aha,” says the stripey one, “your parents’ advice you have heeded, so that you had it when needed.”
She motions a hoof. “Follow the path from my tree and soon the exit you will see. Now move with haste, to lose a filly here would be such a waste.”
If you decide you want to stay after all, turn to page 9. If you follow the weird mare’s advice, turn to page 55. If you run toward the direction that is opposite, turn to page 63.
Equestrian Forces find you on grassy hill some ways from smokey remains of Midnight Castle, holding Candy Cane of Destiny tightly in your hooves. Small misty smoke comes from your unmoving body. Grass beneath you looks fire burned.
At Equestrian hospital, you give no words of your scary last fight with Smooze, lest they thinking you out of your brain. But you still have scars of opponents from castle, shady and harmful, clearly in your head. All fighting to save divine old thing, for keeping Charlitan’s twisted imaginings living.
With Cane disappeared, penguins are having the falling. May elevation never be granted again.
With Cane disappeared, Equestrians finally bring ruin of Charlitan...
But that’s story not current...
“Thank you, you have done us a great service,” says Celestia.
“The work was in all of a day, Mrs. President,” you reply with saluting.
Then you hop on your space motorcycle and fly off, hearing not “I am Princess.”
VICTORY!
Greedily, you nom a flower. It tastes like sweet, sweet cupcakes.
If you hate cupcakes, turn to page 11. If you continue the noms, turn to page 60.
You shoot flame at zombie, knowing fire is big zombie weakness. Fortunately, it works and he becomes flaming zombie. Unfortunately, it works and he becomes flaming zombie running at you.
If you try to dodge the attack, turn to page 46. (You have wings) If you fly to safety of platform, turn to page 14.
“Through my bluff you have seen,” Stripey says, “but evil I still could have been. You must take more care when venturing out there.”
If you ask to have your fortune told, turn to page 12. If you get bored and go to be leaving, turn to page 38.
There is a crunching sound as your butt obliterates all that stands between it and cold resting surface. As you are finishing sitting, you feel sharp pain in your butt. But your butt is unstoppable, so you do not care. However, you also fall over from poison.
Maybe that is what rock was warning for?
BAD END!
You make for leaving, but an invisible force turns you around. You know your destiny must be here.
-Follow your destiny and turn to page 47.
You jump just like last time. Your face is greeting the rock and then you fall down, go boom too. Except it sound more like “splorch”.
BAD END!
You skitter across forest floor making terrible noises. You run for hours until you hit the hoof of another filly and fall over. Before you can be erect again, she leans down and gobbles you up.
BAD END!
Doubting your heart, you remain, waiting and waiting. Then, suddenly, there is big blue rectangle heading straight at you! Your mind cannot process its speed and you are quickly filly paste.
BAD END!
You get halfway up tree before decisioning that hooves are crappiest at climbing. To make sure no doubt is being had, you lose footing and crumple neck on ground.
Then you are in your bedroom. Mother was right and you are glad to have heeded her words. But, wait. what if this is dream inside dream?
If you must make sure, turn to page 36. If you do not care, turn to page 21.
You stuff your face, each flower a different flavour of cupcake. Your buttocks can has the flower eating cutie mark, even if you do not realize it.
You make your home among the endless blue, always munching or sleeping. You are safe there, for no creature dare approach (they must know fierce filly like you has laid claim to this place!).
You not know this, but townsfolk come to know you as “Flower Muncher”. You live famous and sated life.
VICTORY!
Flowers can be no rival for mysterious tree-hut and so you go there in your curious fillyness. Standing in the forward position is striped mare with so much bling.
As you approach, she says, “Stop, filly, do not you think it chilly?”
If you say ”Maybe a little.”, turn to page 40. If you say ”That was a terrible rhyme.”, turn to page 29. If you say ”Your mom is chilly!”, turn to page 5.
You wiggle your butt for extra point making.
Putting hoof to mouth, the stripey gasps. “How inappropriate for a young filly, Your mother I must inform hastily!”
Then she is grabbing your ear and pulling. You dragged back to Ponyville where your actions are spoken to family. Mother claims you angel who cannot do wrong and begins crusade against books for corrupting youth.
When motion fails to go anywhere in three month, she lock you away. You become the safest from all bad world stuff. Unfortunately, you are also safe from cutie mark getting.
But when finally you are getting too much age, you get it in being soccer mommed.
BICTORY END?
“No, filly! Do not be silly!”
But you do not listen and keep running until ground is not being there. You are quickly falling down hill, then more falling down hill. And even more falling.
After two hour falling you think maybe Stripey not dumbdumb. Then you wonder if maybe there can be falling forever cutie mark.
You are straining for good butt seeing when there is landing on your neck.
BAD END!
While you are asking, stripey one is making with the charging! Your time for running is insufficient and she gobbles you up!
Only enchantresses that are evilest could make such tricks! You would be having your cutie mark in gullibleness, but you are too gobbled to be getting any such thing!
BAD END!
“Your argument as you claim, is really quite lame. Plus, how would you see me harmed while you are unarmed?”
If you admit maybe she right, but demand to know what happens, turn to page 32. If you are make running for door, turn to page 3. If you grow arms and defeat her, turn to page 70.
Remembering the usefulness from biology comes as surprise, but you are now knowing what you must do. You make for the biting until prince falls over. After doing the noms, you see only the embracement of your nature of truestness.
You must be embracing the nature, turn to page 4.
You bring hut to nice blaze, destroying all the things. Now they cannot be for more hurting of people.
Unfortunately, you forgot to be leaving and were also destroyed.
BAD END!
“Grass,” zombie says with the skepticalness.
If you advocate its nutritional values like brains, but without brainache, turn to page 28. If you tell him there is more abundance than brains and to top and try specialest patch for himself, turn to page 37.
Arms are existing from your sides. Then you are dashing at her and give away uppercut to her.face. Her surprise is drawn on her face, then she falls over with no more breathing.
If you search the hut, turn to page 47. If you go to leave, turn to page 54. If you are setting hut on fire, turn to page 67.
Enraged for being tricked, you jump onto his hoof and bite and bite and bite. He gives a horrified look and falls over from poison. Satisfied from your work, you hope back onto ground.
But now you are stuck. You cannot un-spider without anypony to fool.
If you run screaming into the woods, turn to page 57. If you wait for a victim, turn to page 4.
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You are a small earth pony filly from the town of Ponyville. You have very pleasant life, but woe is upon you. Your pain is of being blank flank. No matter what do, you cannot find special talent. One day you realize you need to think outside container and get best idea: you should look for your cutie mark in Everfree Forest!
Your parents have wisely cautioned against entry into Everfree. Ponies who go in not come back. But you just know your destiny is in forest! How do you proceed?
If you sneak off in night that is deadest, turn to page 22. If you obediently remain in your bedroom, turn to page 7.
Zombie falls off edge with tremendous roar. The plopping that does follow is like music in your ears.
But then you feel hoof tap and whirl. A group of Royal Guards hovers around platform.
“We have finally caught you,” says the leader. “You are going to OC jail.”
“I haven’t done anything wrong!’ you protest.
“Ah, but you have used both horn and wings. Plus your colour scheme stinks. You are very bad girl.”
With a poof, you are in a big room. There are other alicorns, but you don’t have much time to look. Their neon colours sear your eyes into seared pudding. Then they surround you, babbling about their special snowflakeness. You feel your mind melt and then you fall over.
BAD END!
You turn and ask, “What is wrong, Mister Rock?”
“I am not rock. I am spider. But I am also not spider.”
Looking down, you see there is a talking spider on the rock. How disappointing.
“I can see how disappointed you are,” says the spider. “But do not be deceived! I am really the prince of Horseplace! I have been put under curse by evil enchantress and it can only be broken by a kiss! If you help me, I will marry you and give you the richest life.”
If you say ”You are a crazy spider and I do not believe you.”, turn to page 10. If you eat him, turn to page 34. If you give him a big, wet one, turn to page 71.
“Arrogant filly! In foresight you lack of ability! Such words are proof that you are a total doof!”
She raises her hoofs and makes with the electricity. You are becoming BBQ filly and put into tasty stew. But you don’t know that because you are BBQ filly.
BAD END!
“Why, then I have just the cure for a filly so poor. I just so happen to be preparing a bath of water that would make you feel much hotter. Just come with me into my tree.”
If you start yelling “Stranger danger!”, turn to page 48. If agree to go inside, turn to page 9. If you say “I am already the hottest thing in these woods!”, turn to page 62.
The road winds around and then keeps winding. The winding is what goes on for minutes, far too long! But at least there is lack of filly gobbling animals so far!
If you are entirely okay with this and go to road’s end, turn to page 13. If you immediately look for filly gobbling animals, turn to page 43.
Having barely made gap length, surely there can be nothing wrong in escaping on wings.
You get far into night before you have too much tiredness.
“Wing cramp! Wing cramp!” you are shouting as you fall.
Luckily, there is river below to break the falling! Then shark jumps out making the eating of you. Before it land in water, star bear pop out and eats shark, also eating you.
BAD END! TWICE!
This isn’t quite how you imagined you would meet prince charming, but future-princesses never got anywhere loafing on their butt. Except most times. You lean down and give him big, passionate kiss like mares in daddy’s secret video stash.
Prince Spider begins to grow and grow and grow. You see that he is now very big, pony and eight.
If you realize you are now a spider and scream like crazy, turn to page 6. If you ask “Why are there eight of you? Are you really rich enough?”, turn to page 33. If you yell ”You’re like eight years old!”, turn to page 17.
