The Wolf and the Unicorn

“And falling's just another way to fly.”― Emilie Autumn

The trick about flying is to fall and miss the ground.  In this case, it certainly looked like I was going to hit something.  The fall itself isn't horrible, only 30 feet or so, it was the rocks jutting out haphazardly, weathered by the unforgiving water until they looked like infant teeth of a monster waiting to swallow me whole.  It was all I could do to tuck my arms and legs close to my body, cradling my carbine like life itself before I hit the water and everything exploded into pain.  Swirling liquid ice closed over my head and tried to force itself down my throat as a muffled yell of agony escaped my lips.  Knowing I would drown, I did the only thing possible, the only thing probable, the absolute only thing my body will ever do.  Fight.  Kicking my injured legs and trying to force myself to the surface was harder then it seemed.  The water seemed to flow like molasses, and I was just so very tired.  The river didn't even seem so cold anymore.

A sharp impact snapped me back to my senses as a rock clipped my carbine and drove the stock into my side, its sling caught on an outcropping.  The seconds feeling like years as the surface stayed just out of reach, rippling and twisting like a portal back to reality.  Shooting an arm out, I felt the slimy surface of the rock against my hands.  Unyielding, but just so close as the flow pulled me away and my vision started to swirl, tinting red as I creeped closer to slipping away.  My paws dragging on the bottom of the river as I was swept away.  I could feel the texture of smooth stones, swirls of sand cut by currents...wait... SAND!  Getting my feet under me, I shoved off the bottom as hard as possible, hoping this was enough.  The icy river would not be my tomb.

Vision fading to black, carbine flowing in the current, only supported by its sling, my head popped through the water as I gasped for breath.  The crisp night air tasting finer than the sweetest wine as I fought to stay on the surface and swim haphazardly toward shore.  Slowly feeling the subtle changes in current as the river got shallower the closer as the rocky edge neared.  My paws finally touching ground and pushing me out of the water.  Step by agonizing step, I forced myself out of the river that hungered for my demise.  The pain of sharp rocks and gravel a dull sensation compared to the rest of my battered and bruised body.

Dimly looking around, I could see the bridge in the distance with small glowing dots moving around like an army of angry fire ants in the gloom.  The water streamed off my body and out of my sodden pack as I hoped my long gun hadn't been damaged.  No time for that now.  Off I limped toward home, but first I would have to cross through Ponyville.  I need to find a place to hole up for the night and rest.  Anything else would be a quick death.  I didn't even think about the prints I was leaving in the moist riverside earth...

The edge of the river slowly turned back into dense brush as I pushed back into the forest.  Nopony would venture into the deep forest at night.  While not as bad as the Everfree, a dark forest is still home to all sorts of predators that would love to make a snack of an unwary pony.  Guided only by the dim light and my nose, I pushed deeper.  The near black forest was virtually silent at night, making it seem like the scrape of my injured leg and my labored breathing seem as loud as a man being murdered.  The gurgling of a brook off in the distance caught my attention.  It might not be a preferred route, but it could offer me safety for the night.

A plan slowly formed in my mind as I trudged through the dark forest.  The ponies would start tracking my paw prints come morning, so I had to throw them off.  They might not be able to smell as well as I, but a bloody paw print is pretty damn obvious.  Thankful to the skills I learned growing up in the wilds of Alaska, I made mental notes of things of use.  A massive fallen tree far in the undergrowth off the game trail caught my attention.  I'd have to come back to that.  A few minutes of walking later, I gingerly drew the knife off my belt and started cutting two small branches off a nearby pine tree.  Its sticky sap would seal the wound in a few minutes, and the walk continued.

Finally I reached the edge of the small brook flowing through the forest.  Fresh moss and clover grew right up to the waters edge.  Time for my disappearing act.  Shuffling my pack around, I drew a short bit of cord out of a pocket and made loops around the branches, holding them in one paw as I walked along the streams edge until I slowly ventured in, paw prints disappearing into the moving water.  Carefully, I slid the branches onto my feet and cinched the loops tight, the pine needles digging into my paws.  Upstream I walked past the game trail I recently came from, until I felt the distance had been right.  Slowly, softly I walked out of the water, gingerly stepping on the moss and using the branches to mask my steps.  Again, I entered the brush.

It was a long bit of slow walking but I eventually made it back to that fallen tree through the densest part of the brush.  Careful foot placement and moving each and every branch was painful but necessary so there would be no trace of me past the stream.  Hopefully the ponies would just assume I walked downstream towards the Everfree with the stream, using it to mask my scent and steps.  At the base of the fallen behemoth tree was its root cluster, pointing into the air like the hair of an insane medusa.  The trick was pretty simple really.  The bigger the tree, the larger the hole under their roots.  It took a few minutes to find in the gloom but the hole was more of a small cave really.  Gingerly I slid the pack of my bruised and battered body and rummaged through a few pouches, pulling out a few items.  Pushing it slowly, it fit in the back of the hole perfectly.

Time to make camp and rest.  The only easy day was yesterday, and all that as I grew up hearing.   Softly, I wiped my burned leg with a rag, swearing softly under my breath as it tugged on the burned skin.  Blessing my forethought, the things I purchased from Zecora before starting this quest came in handy as I opened the small bottle of salve.  The bitter scent of crushed willow bark, wormwood, marshmallow, and other scents assaulted my nose, all with the sweet undertone of honey.  A strange medicine but it would certainly work.  Dabbing it on gingerly hurt a lot more then I expected, but soon it was done and a fresh linen cloth (albeit somewhat damp) promptly wrapped it all to my leg.

Unfurling a small blanket, I wiggled backwards into the hole, sliding my carbine in with me, muzzle first in case any ponies showed in the night.  The last thought that crossed my mind before sleep took me was that I should have covered the hole with the severed branches from earlier...

Morning came too early, and with it, the assorted noises of the guards looking for me.  Its like subtlety had never occurred to these ponies as they shoved through the brush following my old prints.  The trick was being quiet and not moving, hoping they would pass right on by.  And that is exactly what they did.  In the span of an hour probably near a hundred unicorn and earth pony guards flowed down the path and downstream toward the forest.  Eventually, the only noises that remained were the chirp of squirrels and twittering birds as the forest returned to normal.  I took that as a good sign.

Crawling out of a hole after a restless nights sleep is harder then most people would think.  Every muscle and bone in my body ached from the exertions of the day before and the rocks and roots digging in through the night.  After tugging the pack out of its place, I dug through a pocket on its side to find breakfast.  Thankful to being somewhat human still, I could eat the food I had been able to get in Ponyville.  For all her her crazy and sugar fueled antics, Pinkie Pie was one hell of a baker.  I had asked her to make me (basically) a hiking muffin of sorts with oatmeal, raisins, apples and the like baked into it.  When it was done, she soaked it in honey and pressed it into a block shape.  Pretty much a diabetes bar, but the essentials to keep you going in the deep woods.  I didn't even notice how it tasted as it disappeared.

Shouldering the pack, my body protested, but I knew this was something I had to do.  The cloth from last night tugging on my fur as the salve had set overnight, basically gluing it to my leg and forming a hard cast over the burns.  Just one more injury I'd have to deal with before I saw this through.  So many steps ahead of me, I set back off towards the brook, and arrived sooner then I imagined.

There was no sign of the guards looking upstream for me, as where the game trail met the water was crushed and tramped as they ran downstream.  A couple hours walk to Ponyville and I'd be home free.

Eventually the forest began to thin, its thick leafy canopy giving way to more light and glimpses of sky.  Clear and blue, not a cloud to be seen.  Despite my commotion yesterday, the pegasus weather team must be working hard.  This is where things would get interesting.  Hopefully word of my exploits had not reached the little hamlet yet.  To keep images up, I took my time slinging the carbine over my back, resting it on the soft side of my pack.  Focusing what little energy I had after a rough nights sleep, I felt burning over every inch of my body as small green flames rippled and flowed.  Fur quickly turned into skin, my jaw feeling sore as hell as my canines receded.  Nopony needed to know my secret after all.

Assured that I could pull this off, I strode out of the forest and toward the nearby town, hoping I could skirt it all and not bump into Twilight Sparkle or any other of the Element Bearers.  Things would get... awkward otherwise.  Naturally, the universe decided to screw with me as I neared the town, as an apple screamed by my head.

"Git back here ya monster!"

Oh fuck.  Of course Applejack found me.  It couldn't have been Pinkie or anypony else.  Looking back, I could see a very pissed off orange pony roaring across the fields toward me.  Naturally, I did what any predator did when outmatched.  I ran like hell toward town.  I just had to get to the library.  Since my cover was blown, I'd have to go to Twilight and hope she didn't make me explode.

I didn't even feel the rocks cutting my bare feet as I scrabbled to get away from the pissed off earth pony, my shoes lost in the commotion of dodging kicks that would probably cave my chest in.  The only thing that saved my life was the fact that Applejack would pause her sentences when she would try to buck, kick, or try to bite in my direction.

"Ya no good..."

I ducked.

"murdering..."

I shoved away as I neared the center of town, the smooth pavers of the street feeling cool against my shredded and bloody feet.  And that's when they went out from under me as something bound them together, and my face met the unyielding stone with a sharp slap.  I could hear the gasps of the ponies in the market as the creeped away from "the human."

"Twilight.  TWILIGHT!  I got 'im!"

Applejack, just wait one second and I'll ex...

Well, she apparently didn't want to listen as she firmly kicked me in the face, knocking a few bloody teeth skittering down the street as blood arced out of my mouth.

"Ah don't want tah hear your lies Hex.  You shot the Princess, ya damn fool."

I did no such thing Applejack.

"We'll just have ta see what Shining Armor has ta say about that."

And with a look of indignation, the farmer placed a hoof on the back of my neck and pushed to get the point across.  I was truly and well fucked.

The air in my lungs suddenly was forced out of my lungs as purple magic seized me and hauled my form aloft.  Finally Twilight showed up and would listen to reason, I hoped.  As usual, I had hoped wrong, as I was thrown across the market into Roseluck's cart in a shower of thorns and petals.

"You.  Shot.  The.  Princess."

Those were the only words the lavender pony said as her magic forced my jaws shut before I could come up with a rebuttal.  Her eyes a glowing white, purple magic snaking itself around my body as the market spun again as I was launched toward the library.

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" A familiar voice boomed from behind everyone, "RELEASE HIM AT ONCE!"

Finally Celestia showed up so we could explain everything.  Immediately, the magic let go of my body.  Physics did not however, as pain ripped through my chest as I hit the tree back first. A yell of agony escaping my lips as I felt something rip through me.  That noise grabbed the Princess' attention and pulled Twilight out of her bow.

"But Princess, we were told he shot you?"

"He did, Twilight, but I'll explain that later...  Twilight, where is Hex?"

"So, how are you here Princess?  We've all seen what his weapons can do."

"Another time Twilight.  Where is Hex?  We need to have a little...talk."

Their gazes slowly rose to see blood spattered across the side of the library, following the pattern until they saw me buried in the branches, and the branches buried in me.  As everything faded from red to black, the last thing I remembered was the look of shock on their faces, and the steady drip drip drip noise of my blood raining on the street below.