The Wolf and the Unicorn

I would like to say that my (apparently) considerable life passed before my eyes at that very moment.  Instead, I was utterly amazed by my reflexes.  Without even being aware of the movement, I had completely stepped aside of the irritated Alicorn's blow and turned it from a skull crushing blow, into nothing more than her hoof resting gently in an outstretched hand.

"H...How did you do that?"

I just stared that the hoof in my hand for a moment until she tugged it away.  Uncomfortable silence reigned as everyone stood there wondering what the hell had just happened.  Of course, it couldn't be simple as a familiar voice came from behind me, sheer amusement dripping from the tones.

"Oh, that is PRICELESS.  I'll admit that I didn't think your reflexes would start to come back this quickly, but seeing the look on Celestia's face was completely worth the risk of you getting your head caved in like a pumpkin.  Speaking of pumpkin..."

There was a slight snapping noise and a burst of white light as a slice of pumpkin pie appeared in his hand.  Stranger still was that he started chewing on the plate.  I can officially say that the sound of chewing porcelain ranks on the worst and most painful things you can hear.

"Seriously though brother, we have bigger things to do than have you flirting with the ladies.  Don't get me wrong, Celestia is dead sexy, but you are barking up the wrong tree.  Last time I asked her out she put me in stone for a decade.  The Chaos Wars were just her way of wanting an excuse to break it off.  So what if I wanted to create a strain of Venus Fly Tulips for the gardens.  They would have been useful..."

All I could do was chuckle as the white princess sputtered and tried to find the words.

"...Either way, we have bigger things to deal with.  Namely our psychotic brother and his little army trying to reincarnate him.  If he can tap the energies you put into that stone, he can completely destroy the balance between light and dark in this plane.  Let alone destroy you outright in the process."

That last bit certainly got Luna's attention as she cleared her throat.

"Say that one more time please?  Did you just say that your evil brother can have the power to not only destroy the world, but also kill my coltfriend?"

All I could do was shrug.

"There is a lot we need to talk about love.  We don't have much time before we have to start getting ready either.  Lets go inside and I'll give you two the truth on everything I've learned and leave it to you if you want to help or not."

Truthfully, I expected to walk into the palace, but a certain Princess who shall remain unnamed thought teleporting was the quicker method.  It took everything I had to not roll my eyes as I felt her magic swirling around our little group.  Tension and power building until reality bent under her will.

As we sat in the parlor for the next several hours, Discord and I told the Princesses everything we knew about what faced us with our brother.  Celestia seemed more interested in the Caribou viking army, while Luna homed in on anything to do with my changes.  Slowly a rough plan was developed toward stopping the world from falling into complete anarchy.

Some time later after both Discord and Celestia left to take care of something, Luna and I were left to our own devices.  It took everything I had to not tease Luna about what I had noticed.  How the two of them left at the same time.  How Celestia had looked back at Discord and bit her lip while wiggling her hips.  I don't even know how she missed the fact that my dear brother only had a moment for those movements to register in his mind before he calmly excused himself.  The moment the parlor door closed, you could hear his hoof hitting the stone floors as he raced down the halls after Celestia.

None of my business anyhow.

As we lounged on the couches, I gave what little info I had about my changes to Luna.  A certain Luna who was resting her head on my chest as she curled up against me, with a wing draped across my shoulders.  So much had been learned in so little time.  Every one of the gods had a quirk to show their moods.  My particular one was my eye color.  My natural gold would be varied to either a balefire crimson or energetic blue depending on how I leaned on the balance of things.  I had to slaughter caribou to get away, so I naturally tipped toward the evil side of things as I did or considered evil acts.  Should be do benevolent acts, my eyes would be on the opposite end of the spectrum.  Even my magic was affected by this.

Strange really.  Then again, it was no stranger than anything else I've gone through in this technicolor world.  I didn't even realize that I had been sitting on the couch, lost in thought for nearly a half hour until I felt something graze across my crotch.  That certainly grabbed my attention.  The fact that she had gotten up without me even noticing was just proof to how far gone I was.  Now that she had my attention, she ripped away any other thoughts by flipping her tail up and griding her flanks across my thighs before bolting for the doors with a tail raised the whole while.

Heart beating like a war drum in my...erm...ears... I tore away from the couch, a squealing noise echoed around the room as my claws dug in for traction.  My howl echoing down the halls ahead of me as I chased a certain Princess down darkened passages toward her quarters.

All I could do was laugh to myself as I thought dirty things and horrible puns.  I was going to be the first wolf on the moon.