Screwball's Insanity

by piefan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Thunderlane, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3256

Screwball is imagining everypony else, and is actually in a barren wasteland.

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, after an earthquake, escape to nowhere, and they meet a strange pony named Screwball. The pony talks to rocks, eats dirt, and hallucinates. They try to cure her of her hallucinations, while surviving.

Published 2013-07-07 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-23 10:50:14 UTC

Chapter 1

"Hi, Screwball!" said Applejack as she kicked a tree, making apples rain down. She was busy, but she couldn't ignore Screwball.

Screwball smiled. "Hi, Applejack!" she said happily. She walked off, enjoying her happy life. She was so glad she came to this city after that horrible earthquake in her old place! Here, nopony questioned that she was able to mysteriously float without wings. Nopony made fun of her, nopony insulted her, everything was perfect.

But what she didn't know was that her life wasn't as good as she thought.

Screwball was actually in the middle of... nowhere. Where she lived, there was nothing, just rocks and mud. Hardly anything could grow. Not a plant nor a bug was in sight. When Screwball first came, she was disappointed, though eventually she had started imagining ponies, food, plants, and buildings. None of the things she saw were real, not the bookstore, not the farm, nothing. At first, she had imagined only ponies, but over time, she had began to hallucinate more.

Two ponies, one lavender and another orange, walked around pointlessly. Those two ponies were Twilight Sparkle and Applejack - the real ones, not the ponies in Screwball's imagination. In reality, Screwball had never met them in her life.

"Can we stop now? I'm tired. We've been walking for 2 days and nothing!" said Twilight, groaning.

"Fine, we'll stop for a while. But as soon as an hour passes, we're goin'! We're wasting precious time that we can use to find food."

Twilight took an alarm clock from her saddlebag. While escaping from the earthquake, she'd grabbed the first few things she saw - which turned out to be the clock, an old book about magic, and a bag of Spike's potato chips.

Twilight's mind drifted off to Spike. Her precious assistant. The baby dragon. Sadly, he had died in the disaster. He had been really helpful before then. That time when she'd went crazy after realizing that she needed a friendship lesson to send to Princess Celestia. He'd told the Princess, while the others thought that it was no big deal. Some had even laughed.

She suddenly thought of her other friends. Rarity. So beautiful and generous. Pinkie Pie. Cheerful and funny. Rainbow Dash. Brave and loyal.

Twilight looked back at her friend. "Applejack? Do you miss our old friends?"

Applejack stared at Twilight before answering. "Yes."

Screwball sat down on her soft bed, looking out the window. It was night, and everypony had switched on their lights to brighten up their houses. She looked up at the star-speckled sky. The moon was beautiful tonight.

She loved her life.

"C'mon, Twi. We have to keep goin'!" Applejack pulled on Twilight's foreleg. Applejack herself had taken a little nap while Twilight was taking hers, and was now less bad-tempered, though still anxious.

"Fine, I'm getting up." Twilight stood up, refreshed. She hadn't slept for long, but she wasn't about to complain. She was grateful that she got even a second of sleep.

The two continued trying to find any sign of life other than themselves, but it was hard. Eventually, even Applejack, who was enthusiastic at first, snapped.

"This is a totally lost cause!" she yelled, kicking a nearby rock - hard - as she cursed under her breath. The rock rolled far away, and the two ponies soon heard a voice.

"Hey! A rock!"

Applejack and Twilight looked at each other in surprise. Was there really another pony that managed to survive? They walked over to the source of the voice. There, was a strange pony. She had a pink coat and a purple and white mane. Screwball looked at Twilight Sparkle and Applejack in the same amount of shock.

"Twilight Sparkle? Applejack? Weren't you supposed to be at Sugarcube Corner?"

"What?" Applejack and Twilight said at the same time, gasping. Sugarcube Corner was still around? Was this mare crazy, or did somepony really rebuild the sweet shop? Also, how did she know their names? Before they could say anything, Screwball interrupted them, looking at something else.

"Hi, Lyra!" she said.

The two ponies looked in the same direction as Screwball. Nopony was there. Yep, that confirmed their suspicions. The mare was crazy.

While Screwball went away to do whatever, Twilight Sparkle turned to Applejack.

"I think this would be a good place to make our residence," said Twilight.

"But this ain't different from where we've been walkin' around this whole time!"

Twilight gestured towards the pink pony, who was still nearby. "If a pony can survive here, even a mentally challenged one, that should mean that there's fertile soil."

Applejack had not a clue what 'mentally challenged' meant, but she did understand the word 'fertile'.

"Ya mean we can grow plants?" she asked, excited. She had eaten almost nothing for a day. Twilight had insisted that they save her food, and Applejack herself had brought only an apple, a slice of bread that was turning mouldy, and half a jar of zap apple jam.

"Well, yes."

"Well, then I'm in!"

Screwball smiled at Lyra Heartstrings. "So, that's how to fix a tap!"

Lyra nodded, not questioning that Screwball had really just hit the pipes repeatedly.

"Great!" said Screwball. Her stomach rumbled. "By the way, you got any food?"

Lyra nodded, going into her kitchen to get some food. She soon came back with a steaming plate of hay fries and cake, and a cup of soda. She put it on a table and sat down in a nearby chair, while Screwball wolfed down the food.

"Thanks, Lyra!" she said.

"You're welcome!"

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack trudged around in the mud, looking for the pink pony they had seen earlier. They soon spotted her... sitting on the ground and eating mud. Applejack glared at Twilight. "Ya told me there would be food."

Twilight, however, was not listening. "But... how did a mare survive on mud?" she mumbled to herself. Well, it doesn't matter, she thought to herself. I'm going to find out what's up!

~~Hours later~~

"Okay, ya found out that she's been living in this place for a year, and she ran away because of an earthquake."

"Exactly, Applejack! The earthquake hit Equestria only days ago. If she ran away because of an earthquake, she must have been telling the future!"

"Or she was in some far-away place like Saddle Arabia."

"But she doesn't look like a Saddle Arabian!"

"She could have been on a holiday."

"It wasn't the holiday season!"

"So she wanted to go on a unusual time. What's wrong with that?"

"All the trains were broken at that time."

"Maybe she was in there for a long time!"

"Well-" Twilight paused as she suddenly had a great idea, knowing that Applejack wouldn't be able to argue with it. "There was no earthquake in any other country for the past decade, until three days ago!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Ya know enough about her to write a book, so what are ya gonna do with that information?"

Twilight blinked. She clearly hadn't been expecting that question, doing the research for the sake of boredom. "Uh... She appears to have an ability to tell the future. We can get her to help us using that ability!"

"We've seen her talking to rocks. Ya really think ya can just ask her to help and she'll agree to abandoning all her stuff?"

"Then we can still use therapy!" answered Twilight.

"Fine. But first, we need to find a way to survive. Do whatever ya wanna do. Carry her on yer back if ya want."

Chapter 2

As Screwball trotted to the marketplace for some asparagus, she turned around and saw Twilight Sparkle and Applejack. They both seemed to be much happier than before. First, they'd been surprised. Then disappointed when she was at Lyra's. She could see them through the window. Why they were disappointed, she didn't know.

"That's a good idea." Applejack smiled.

"Actually, not really. Did you plan how to survive?" asked Twilight.

"Nope."

Applejack's stomach rumbled.

"Too bad we don't have any food." Twilight sighed.

"Um, didn't ya have some in your bag?"

"Oh, right. I forgot." Twilight blushed, embarrassed at her forgetfulness. She pulled a packet of potato chips from her bag, opened it, and passed some to Applejack before taking a bite of one herself. Suddenly, they heard a voice of another pony - definitely not Screwball.

"May I have some of your food?" The pony's voice was low and rough, and sounded like he thought Twilight or Applejack would attack him for some reason. The two mares turned around to look at the pony. A few feet away from them was a dark grey, almost black, pegasus stallion with a blue-silver mane and tail. His cutie mark was of a lightning bolt and cloud, and his eyes were amber.

Twilight gasped as she realised that another pony was in Equestria. Applejack seemed to be too busy enjoying her food to show any signs of shock.

"Yes, just don't take too much," said Applejack. In a flash, the pony had taken a few chips and zipped back. He seemed to be less suspicious now.

"Uh... My name is Twilight Sparkle." Twilight tried to be polite. The three ponies were probably the only ponies left - other than Screwball - and they'd have to work together.

"Name's Thunderlane."

"Howdy, Thunderlane. My name's Applejack."

"Nice to meet you both." Thunderlane now seemed to trust the two mares.

"Nice to meet you too," replied Twilight.

"You know anything we can do to get food?" asked Thunder.

"Well, I can probably use a life-detecting spell." Twilight closed her eyes. Suddenly, Applejack and Thunder were blinded by a pink flash of light. Twilight opened her eyes again.

"I think there should be some trees two miles east. And... a pony. A pegasus, I think, but you can't really trust this spell."

Thunderlane looked in the direction of Screwball in the distance. "Think we should bring her too? I'm hoping not. I don't want to have a crazy pony on my hands."

Twilight nodded. "Yes. She may be able to help. She seems to be good at observing, or maybe she can read minds. She knew our names even though we've never met. And even if that was a coincidence somehow, we can't just leave her alone!"

Thunder sighed. "Fine. How are we going to get her to follow us?"

Screwball picked up a book, and opened it. She was helping a friend of hers, a filly, with her homework. She couldn't find the book at her place, so she'd asked Screwball to help.

Cities in Equestria

She flipped the pages until she found her city, on page 20.

Ponyville was built a long time ago, estimated to be about a hundred years from now, by Earth Ponies. They had tough lives. The weather was out of control. Sometimes they had droughts, sometimes it rained too much. A few pegasi moved into Ponyville years after. They helped with the weather, and occasionally with farming.

The food was bad, and sometimes it didn't grow at all because of the weather, so the pegasi made it much easier. Unicorns, too, moved to Ponyville after some time. At first, there were only a few as most unicorns preferred to stay in Canterlot. They thought that Ponyville was too uncouth. Eventually, more unicorns moved in as the city progressed.

Wow, that's really interesting, she thought. Ponyville sure is amazing! I'm never moving out.

Just then, three ponies charged into the room, breaking the door. "We've come to take you away!"

Screwball screamed, and started to attack with the heaviest things around the house that she could carry.

"You know, if we weren't in the middle of nowhere I'd be laughing at her attempt to fight back right now," said Thunder.

"Yep." More dirt covered them as Screwball tossed mud.

Applejack turned around to see Twilight struggling as she pulled on Screwball's hoof. Twilight then slipped on the mud and fell to the ground.

"How is it that we're pulling on three of her hooves, but she can still throw mud at us without any difficulty, and she seems to think she's currently throwing a table at us?" asked Thunder.

"I have no idea."

Twilight got up again and continued to pull Screwball.

"Twi, why don't ya use magic to carry her?" asked Applejack.

"I can't carry something this heavy for long journeys. And we'll be travelling two miles."

"We'll be stopping for rests plenty of times! And either way, we'll be carrying her, whether or not you use magic."

"But she'll escape!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Well, then at least pull harder!"

Twilight's horn glowed, and Screwball's legs stopped moving. Applejack and Thunder could now get her away.

"Come on, let's go. This spell freezes her nerves, and can cause permanent damage. As much as I'm annoyed, I don't want to injure her." The three ponies went off.

"I think we're here." Twilight released Screwball from her magic as she looked at a plant. Small strawberries were growing out of it. Around them were other plants. Blueberries and apples were growing in the surrounding area.

"Didn't ya say that there would be a pony?" asked Applejack.

Twilight shrugged. "Maybe they're hiding because they think we're going to attack."

Author's Note

The actual therapy will begin in the next chapter.

Chapter 3

A dark blue alicorn flew to a coconut tree. She picked a coconut and used magic to cut it open. Her ears perked up as she heard a sound. Other ponies... they'd survived? She'd thought she was the only one. Even her sister hadn't survived... she'd sacrificed herself. The dark alicorn wiped a tear from her eye. No, don't think about her, she thought. There's no use crying.

She, still holding her coconut, flew under the tree to protect herself from the heat, and continued to think about the ponies who'd came. Who were they? Were they going to attack? She may be a princess, but she might not be able to fight off everypony. Finally, she decided she'd go down. But she'd need to act tough. Make sure they knew she wasn't to be messed with. She flew down from the tree and shouted, "Why are thou-?" She stopped mid-sentence. Two of the ponies were familiar, the other was not. "Twilight? Applejack?"

"Princess Luna?" All three ponies gasped.

Luna nodded. "Yes, it is me." She gestured to Thunderlane. "Who is your friend?"

"My name's Thunderlane."

"It is nice to meet you, Thunderlane." She pointed to Screwball. "And who is this?"

"My name is Screwball."

"Princess Luna, what are you doing here?" asked Twilight. "Where's Princess Celestia?"

Luna's expression changed to sadness. "She died."

"But I thought alicorns are immortal," said Thunder.

"They cannot die of old age, but they can die of other causes."

"So, what exactly happened?" asked Applejack. "How did disasters hit all of this planet?"

"I do not know. It was simply a strange event, a coincidence."

"But I have a question," said Twilight. "If Princess Celestia has passed away, then what about the sun? It's been rising and setting normally for days!"

Luna smiled. "I do not think you have noticed, but by now the sun should be setting," she answered. "I now control it. However, it is not an easy task. Sister is the only pony who can do it properly. It takes me a long time to do it."

The five ponies had bonded after a few days. They knew a few things about each other, and their past. This still did not prepare Luna from staring at Screwball every time she talked with inanimate objects. The others had expected hr to go back to normal now that she was around ponies, but she sadly didn't.

Luna, Twilight, Applejack and Thunder watched as Screwball started a conversation with rocks.

"What is she attempting to do?" asked Luna.

"This isn't that crazy. It's better to watch her talk about vamponies than talk about eating animals," said Thunderlane.

While Screwball was off doing whatever, the four ponies were discussing survival. Not too much had come out of it, however. All they'd decided was that their main goal was to use psychology and stuff to cure Screwball of her hallucinations. Twilight was going to be in charge of this, as she had suggested it first.

"It is best for us to get some sleep," said Luna, looking up. "I shall set the sun." Twilight did the same as they both focused on the sun. Twilight's magic, as a mere unicorn, didn't make much difference, but it helped. Applejack and Thunderlane looked at the sun as it began to slowly go down. Darkness filled the sky and the moon rose, much faster. Luna seemed to be better at controlling the moon than the sun.

Screwball passed by them, seeming to say goodbye to her new friends, Moondancer and Twinkleshine. Twilight turned to her friends. "I'll start on the therapy now." She walked behind Screwball, who didn't appear to notice her. Twilight wasn't sure what she was going to do exactly; she was just going to follow her. The rest of the ponies went off to make their beds.

Screwball soon reached what she called her house, and fell asleep under a tree. If I'm going to start therapy, I might as well try to find out about her past, she thought. But how... She searched her mind for the right spell. She knew the how to perform it, but she didn't know the name of the spell. Oh, forget about the name, that doesn't matter. She closed her eyes, and Screwball's memories came into her mind.

Screwball sat in her chair at Sugarcube Corner. Just then, a magenta unicorn appeared. "Hey, I'm here to test out this theory! They say that unintelligent ponies can be hypnotised easily." The unicorn's horn glowed as she attempted hypnotism.

"When I say the word..." The unicorn tried to think of a word that not many would use, "Volcano, you will obey everything I say!" By now, other ponies were watching the unicorn and Screwball, but nopony did anything. "Volcano!" shouted the unicorn. Screwball now seemed to have no mind of her own. The unicorn snickered. "There's an earthquake! Run!" Now under the spell, Screwball started to run south, fast. Ponies still just watched. Soon, Screwball was way out of sight.

An orange pegasus called out, "Are you gonna go after her?"

The unicorn watched as Screwball kept running. "Um, I guess so." She din't want to get arrested if the Earth pony never returned again. She started to go south, yelling out, "Volcano!"

Screwball kept going, not running out of energy. For some reason, nopony stopped to even wonder about what she was doing. Maybe they thought it was normal for her to run like that. Whatever it was, they just continued doing whatever they were doing before. She never stopped dashing.

She turned to the direction of the Everfree forest, and kept running.

She soon started to slow down, but still walked. Days passed. Screwball barely ate or drank, apart from the times when she tripped and fell into lakes and plants. Luckily for her, there were no animals that wanted to eat her. After days of running in random directions, she reached a place with few plants.