Chaos now!

CHAPTER 7

“NEVER GET OUT OF THE BOAT”

It was twilight, and the P.V.R. Sweet Apple was moored along the side of the river.

They had encountered engine trouble, and Applejack and Sweetie Belle were both working on trying to fix the problem. Meanwhile, Kark and Apple Bloom decided to break out some rations while Rainbow Dash took a nap. She was snoring lightly while the dragon and filly quietly had their fare: A helping of bland oatmeal and some apple juice.

“Y’know what’d go great with this here oatmeal?” Apple Bloom asked, breaking the monotony.

“What?” Kark counter asked.

“Apple sauce!” Apple Bloom said. “Ah love to mix that in with this here oatmeal. Makes it more sweet and enjoyable.”

“Except that we don’t have any apple sauce.” Kark admitted.

Apple Bloom sighed. “Yeah.” Then she looked out into the forest canopy beyond. “Still, there’s prolly an apple tree out there somewhere; and ah just got an idea.” She smiled.

Kark got a worried look. “Uh oh.”

“Hey, Applejack!” she said to get the attention of her big sister, who poked her head out of the engine’s hull. “If you an’ Sweetie Belle are gonna be awhile, ah’d like to venture out into this here forest an’ find some apples. Ah figured ah’d buck a few, an’ bring ‘em back here to make some apple sauce with ‘em.”

“Ah don’t know, sugarcube.” Applejack warned. “Remember we’re in enemy controlled territory, an’ it’s not wise to get out of the boat. It could be dangerous.”

“Aw, don’t worry, big sis! Ah’ll be careful.”

Applejack finally nodded. “All right. But ah think you’d be much safer if somebody went with ya.”

“I’ll go with her.” Kark volunteered. “Let’s let Rainbow Dash rest.” He said as he glanced at the lightly snoring Pegasus mare at the back of the boat.

Applejack smiled. “Thanks, su… darlin’. You’re a sweetheart.”

Kark smiled. “All in a day’s work.”

“Better take that rifle o’yours.” Applejack suggested.

“Right!” Kark said as he picked it up and tested the loading mechanism. It still worked like a charm!

“Ah’ll be quick!” Apple Bloom called as she jumped off the boat and into the forest. Kark was not far behind.

A few minutes later, Kark and Apple Bloom were casually walking through the forest, looking for their objective.

“There’s gotta be an apple tree ‘round here somewhere.” Apple Bloom said almost to herself.

“So why did you and Applejack join the Navy?” Kark asked, changing the subject. “Was it because you didn’t wanna get into the shit with the infantry?”

“Actually, it was more like a foalhood dream A.J. once had.”

“Foalhood dream?”

“Yeah. She often imagined herself bein’ a pirate on some kind o’ ship an’ settin’ sail in search o’ treasure n’ stuff.”

“Really? I didn’t know that about her.”

“There’s lots o’ things you don’t know ‘bout mah big sister. Like that time she went to Manehattan for ‘bout a year or so to live with one o’ ma aunts n’ uncles, searchin’ for herself.”

“Oh, I knew about that.”

Apple Bloom glanced at Kark in disbelief. “How?”

“Twilight Sparkle told me.” Kark smiled.

“Oh. In any case, she joined the Navy, hopin’ to finally find out what it was really like. Me an’ Sweetie Belle just came along for the ride.”

Apple Bloom stopped, put down the bucket she was carrying with her tail, and moved into some nearby bushes to relieve herself.

“An’ then there was that time that she thought she’d might become some kind of Chemist.”

“Oh, no!”

“Yepper! Practically begged ma and pa to get ‘er a chemistry set. When they finally got it for her, first thing the silly filly does is mix up a batch o’ methane gas.”

Kark stifled a laugh behind his hand, already guessing where this was going.

“All that was fine, but then she decided to test to see if it was real by lightin’ a match n’ tossin’ it in the beaker.”

“NO!”

Apple Bloom nodded. “Just about singed her mane when the darned thing exploded in flames! Really ticked off ma and pa!”

Kark couldn’t contain his laughter anymore. He burst out laughing and slapped his leg at this funny little anecdote surrounding a mare he had considered a dear friend for years.

“O’ course, this was all before ah was born; so most o’ what ah know comes from what Granny Smith told me.”

Kark’s expression grew more serious as he heard a distant sound.

“And then there was that time that-“

“SHH! Quiet!” Kark interrupted.

“Wha-“

“SHHHHHH!”

Kark then raised his rifle and stealthily approached a row of bushes a couple dozen lengths in front of him. Apple Bloom stayed silent as she stayed behind him.

“What is it? Doggy???” Apple Bloom whispered.

Kark didn’t answer as he focused on the bushed directly in front of him. He heard rustling coming from said bushes, and saw a dark shadow moving.

Then, suddenly and without warning, the shadow let out a huge roar and emerged from its hiding place.

“AAAAAHHH! IT’S A MANTICOR!!!” Apple Bloom cried out in fear as she bolted back towards the river bank.

Kark let loose a few rounds of his rifle directly at the manticor’s feet; which stopped it dead in its tracks. He then flung his rifle over his shoulder and turned to run. The manticor roared again and gave chase. Kark unfurled his wings and flew a few feet off the ground. He knew he could go lots faster, if he flew rather than ran!

He grabbed the galloping filly as he flew past while the roaring manticor was still chasing them.

On the boat, everypony scrambled to prepare to shove off.

“GO! LET’S GO!” Kark screamed as he emerged from the forested and set himself down on the boat, which roared to life and immediately backed away from the river bank.

“What is it!? What’s going on!!?” Rainbow Dash, who was woken up by all of the commotion, asked in a panic.

“MANTICOR!” Kark answered.

“Manticor!!?” Applejack exclaimed. “SHIT!”

She placed the boat in full throttle in order to get away quickly. The manticor roared as it emerged from the forest onto the river bank. Kark let loose another few shots from his rifle alongside the bank in order to keep it from jumping into the water after them. It roared again as the boat swiftly got away.

Apple Bloom hyperventilated as she got a look of equine alarm on her facial features, and her lips quivered in her panic.

“Apple Bloom, you all right?” Applejack asked his younger sister.

The young filly snapped and went into a rant. “NO, I’M NOT ALL RIGHT! NOT FOR ONE BUCKING MINUTE! AH DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT! AH DON’T DESERVE ANY O’ THIS SHIT! AH JUST WANNA GO HOME TO SWEET APPLE ACRES AN’ BUCKING BUCK! AH JUST WANNA BUCKING BUCK APPLES, AN’ MAKE APPLE JAM, APPLE SAUCE, ZAP APPLE JAM, APPLE CIDER WITH A.J. AND BIG MAC AND GRANNY SMITH! AH CAN’T TAKE THIS SHIT! AH CAN’T TAKE IT! AH GOTTA REMEMBER, NEVER GET OUT O’ THE BUCKING BOAT! NEVER GET OUT O’ THE BOAT! BYE, MANTICOR! BUBBYE! GOODBYE!”

She then began to cry hysterically. Sweetie Belle and Rainbow Dash moved in to comfort her. Her best filly friend allowed her to collapse into her front legs and sob into her shoulder while Rainbow Dash attempted to soothe her by stroking and patting her on the back. Meanwhile, Applejack kept telling her younger sister that she’d be all right and that everything would be okay. She would’ve loved to come join the group hug, but somepony had to steer the boat.

While all this was going on , Kark collapsed at the back of the boat out of shock over what just happened, hyperventilating. Never get out of the boat. Absolutely bucking right, unless you’re going all the way!