A Bed of Roses

by Half the Battle

Rating: teen
Tags: Flower Ponies, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Roseluck, Other, Carrot Top, Original Character
Length: 20471

Having attempted suicide, Roseluck must recover from her depression.

A series of personal tragedies has left Roseluck despairing of life. Now in the hospital, she faces a difficult path to recovery from her depression. With caring but imperfect friends, an unconventional counselor, and a head full of questions, will she ever return to a happy, normal life?

Cover art by SubjectNumber2394, used with permission.
Special thanks to Caddy and Melody Pope for editing and story suggestions.

Published 2013-05-25 15:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-25 15:20:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Roseluck sat on her bed in the psychiatric ward on the top floor of Ponyville Hospital. The room was echoingly empty, lit by a single overhead light and the setting sun shining through her small window. Outside she could hear the hooting of an owl and the harsh chirping of cardinals. She glanced in the direction of the window, but it wasn't worth getting up to look out. There was nothing to see out the back of the hospital, she reminded herself, only the tops of trees.

She glanced down at the blank pad of paper lying in front of her folded forelegs: her writing assignment, due in a couple hours. "It can be a letter, a poem, a retrospective journal, an essay, whatever you like," Dr. Hardy Spirit had said. "Just get your current mood on paper and start tracing it back. And if you can, express the mood itself in two words."

It wasn't as though she had anything else to do. News was depressing, puzzles could only interest her for so long, and she certainly wasn't about to talk to the other patients. They...belonged here.

She took a pencil in her mouth and tried once again to start a letter to her parents. Mom, Dad, it's me, Rose. No, that wouldn't do. Her name would be on the envelope; they would know the letter was from her. She tore off the page and started again.

I'm afraid I have some bad news. No, those ominous words would only inspire a growing sense of dread.

I regret to inform you that I have been diagnosed... Absolutely not—that was formal and impersonal, and these were her parents. Her parents whom she hadn't spoken to since that...visit six months ago. Parents who cared about her. Why wasn't she thinking of them last night?

Feeling a knot in her stomach, she dropped the pencil and took a sip of water. Rose tried to clear her mind by taking in her surroundings. The walls were an ivory color, almost the exact hue of her coat. The trim around the room was a rich maroon with pink stripes, just like her mane and tail. The other rooms she'd seen all had green or blue walls. Did they place her in this room because she matched its color? Maybe I belong here after all.

Rose returned to her task. She took a deep breath and exhaled, and along with the air she let go the idea of writing a letter in her present condition. She was too likely to say something she'd regret. She had already abandoned her attempt at a poem; anything artistic just rang false to her right now. The thought occurred to her to write something she would never attempt in her right mind. I guess that's appropriate, she mused. She tore off the top sheet of paper and picked up her pencil to begin an introspective analysis.

Roseluck, patient at Ponyville Hospital, April 3.

Current mood:

She paused. This assignment was pointless. And not merely the assignment. Agreeing to accompany the paramedics to the hospital "just to get checked out," being put on medication and kept for observation, being weighed at every meal, the little "What Do You Want" group session that had imparted no information of any help to her—the whole thing was a waste, a delay, keeping her from any actual work at correcting her mistake and setting things right. In fact, it was almost enough to make her wonder whether it was a mistake after all.

Well, there was her answer. She scribbled on the notepad: Current mood: Generally resentful.

"Well, that was the hard part," she said to herself. "I've started."

Tracing the mood back was the next step. How did she get there? Easy enough; she was there because she was here. Since when did ponies get put in psych wards for making a bad decision? It was probably wrong morally, she supposed, perhaps foolish, but she'd wanted out, and considering she had no future, it made sense.

Alright, diagnosing her as depressed made sense, too. Therefore antidepressants, therefore watching her to make sure there were no ill effects. But from what she could tell, most of the dozen or so ponies here were barking mad, in one case literally. Her case was different. Wasn't it? Rose wondered what her recent actions must look like to her friends. Was this what it was like to be crazy? To seem totally sane in all you see and do and yet court destruction every step of the way? Had she brought all this on herself from day one?

Rose set her hooves on the floor, stretched her legs, and yawned. She walked into the tiny bathroom and looked at her reflection. There were bags under her green eyes, and her short-cropped mane was ratty from an afternoon in and out of bed. It occurred to her that she hadn't slept in thirty-two hours. The previous night and early morning had alternated between a whirlwind of activity and long stretches of waiting for one doctor or other who might have arrived at any moment...but didn't for an hour or more.

She looked at the mirror once more and tried to imagine herself lying in bed asleep. She shuddered as the mental image reminded her of her aunt's head lying in that coffin, next to her heart and hooves. Aunt Rosebud had the reverse of her colors, a red coat and yellow-white mane, but once had a face remarkably similar to her own in some old photographs.

"I guess that's where it really started," she said. She went back to the bed, standing over it this time, and drew a line beneath what she had written. How I Got Here was her next header. She drew a number one underneath and circled it. Next to it she wrote: The Loss of My Aunt.

***

Six Months Earlier...

"I've got a letter here for Roseluck." The brown mail pony handed an envelope to Rose and went on his way happily. She closed the door and took out a letter from her parents. Her aunt had been in a carriage accident. There were no details, only that the service would be held on Wednesday there in Hollow Shades. Rose felt a stabbing pain in her belly. Her aunt had raised her for three years while her parents had dealt with problems in their relationship. The nervousness she felt every time she'd visited her parents' old house always evaporated like dew in the sun of Aunt Rosebud's smile. Now all those years of anxiety seemed to return all at once.

As she stood there reading the letter for the third time, two pink ponies came in the door. One's mane and tail were colored yellow; the other's were a light green. Her housemates Lily and Daisy were home.

"We're back with supper," Lily said, setting a large arrangement of sunflowers on the kitchen table. "And I got some more olive oil to give these some extra flavor."

Best not to spoil their day by burdening them with this, Rose thought. "Oh, hi," she replied softly. "That'll be good. I'm hungry."

Daisy lowered an eyebrow. "What's wrong? You're not your usual chipper self."

"Nothing, just a little preoccupied. Listen, I'll be going to Hollow Shades to visit my family for a few days. I haven't seen them in a while."

"Everything going okay between you and your folks?" Daisy asked.

Rose shook her head but wouldn't meet Daisy's concerned gaze. "No, it's nothing like that. We get along fine. It's just, I haven't seen them in a while."

"Like you said," Lily commented. "Well, this is a slow season, so I can handle your sales while you're gone. Take all the time you need. I hope you have a great time."

Rose forced a smile. Every "great time" she'd had in Hollow Shades was always with her aunt. "Thanks. I'm sure I will."

***

At the Hospital...

Roseluck winced at her assurances to her friends; there'd been no need to lie. But how could she be expected to cope with something so sudden? It still amazed her that Aunt Rosebud was gone. The woman was always full of energy, always moving. Roseluck's thoughts shifted back to the motionless head in the coffin. First it was Rosebud's, then her own. How much of her own happiness had her aunt taken with her when she left?

Rose stopped writing her memories. Enough of this, she thought. She'd rather dwell on a less personal reason for her sorrow. The big one, the longstanding one, stared her in the face. Starting a new page, she wrote and circled a large two and wrote, Financial Ruin. An exaggeration? She considered marking it out. She still technically had her business and a place to live. But no, ruin was what this felt like. She was no longer her own mare. Money problems had left her a scared little filly even before her aunt's accident.

***

Six Months Earlier...

"Yes, can I help you?" said a gravelly but polite voice.

Rose momentarily panicked at the sight of a strange stallion answering the door of her own home. She quickly gathered her senses. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm at the wrong house." She scurried away as quickly as she could. Of course that wasn't her house anymore. How could she possibly make such a mistake two months after moving in with Lily and Daisy? She desperately hoped the new owner wouldn't recognize her if he saw her again.

Wondering if any bystanders had witnessed her blunder, she rushed inside Lily and Daisy's house—and hers, she reminded herself—and dropped off her saddlebags inside. "So how was Hollow Shades?" Lily asked.

"Same as always, reliving a lot of old memories," Rose said, trying to fake the joyful tone she used in her flower sales.

"Did you get to see your Aunt Rosebud?" Lily asked.

"Um, yes, as a matter of fact. Where's Daisy?"

"She 's still finishing up at the market, doing the monthly bookkeeping. She should be back any minute. Did you and your aunt have fun?"

"Bookkeeping? That reminds me," Rose said, "rent's coming due, isn't it? I appreciate your hospitality last month, but I'd like to do my part this time around. How much will a third of the bill come to?"

Lily's ears folded back as she looked at Rose uneasily. "Well, you see, I really... Daisy and I talked, and the way things are going right now... How about..." She cleared her throat and steadied herself. "We decided the fair thing to do is pay the rent out of the total sales from the three of us."

"You decided?" Rose answered Lily.

Daisy entered just then. "Decided what?"

Lily explained. "I was just letting Rose know the three of us can pool our take-home pay instead of each paying rent out of our own earnings. Like you said, it's more friendly that way."

Rose decided to press the issue. "Friendly would be saying something to me first. If you'd asked my input, I'd tell you I am perfectly capable of providing my share."

Daisy studied the floor. "Well, um, I did our books today, and you didn't sell enough to cover that."

Rose gasped. "Not even a third of the rent?"

"Sweetie, everypony has downturns and dry spells," Lily said. "And in times like that we're here for you. You don't need to feel like you owe us anything. The reason we're putting the sales together is so you'll still be able to contribute something. You still have your dignity. But let us help."

Rose was about to object when she noticed Daisy shoot Lily a disapproving look. Lily's eyes grew apologetic, but her voice was steady: "I'm sorry, but it doesn't change the facts."

If you have to be told you have dignity, you don't, Rose pondered. In the space of a year she'd gone from first-prize winner at the flower show to a charity case. Moving their flowers from the front of their house to the busiest area of the market had helped Lily and Daisy's sales, while she still struggled even though her kiosk was right between their booths. Everypony still saw her out there selling flowers, giving the appearance of a proper, self-supporting adult, and her friends hadn't found out about her personal debts...yet. But she was already an object of pity and evidently didn't have any say in the matter.

Rose thanked her friends and went upstairs to unpack her saddlebags. On her bed was a small stack of mail, including three envelopes with no name or business listed above the return address. She knew what those were about. It was just a matter of time before the collectors came for all she had left. Rose knew she wasn't a particularly brave pony, but she feared shame more than poverty. Eventually that fear was bound to become reality.

***

At the Hospital...

So much for not being personal, Rose thought. It occurred to her for the first time that now she would have hospital bills in addition to her other troubles. Just how long would they keep her here? Two more whole days, wasn't it? She dreaded the inevitable plea for help she would have to make to her family the next time they spoke. Bailed out at her age, after showing such promise, and for something she couldn't even admit to publicly! If this exercise was supposed to help her out of her depression, she thought, it didn't seem to be working.

She finished sketching down her thoughts on her finances and moved on to point number three. Did she even dare write this one down? She supposed she had to; this one was the trigger. Her eyes teared up as she wrote, as ambiguously as possible: 3. Relationship.

***

Two Days Earlier...

Rose stepped out of the bathroom and adopted an ingratiating smile. "I'm really sorry about that, Sunny. I hope that didn't kill the mood." Killing the mood was an understatement. To get physically sick in the middle of a make-out session and barely make it out of sight in time (and not out of earshot at all) was mortifying...even if it had been the most interesting thing that had happened between her and Sunburst in weeks.

She wasn't really sick, she considered, only nervous. Could they rekindle the fire they'd lost? Could she get him comfortable talking about some practical plan for the future? About when and how to let things out in the open? He was her confidant, the one pony who knew of all her recent troubles. If only they could be together... She knew her problems wouldn't just go away, but she was sure she could endure anything if only she could be with him. He was her last hope to regain happiness, the one thing that hadn't fallen apart. Tonight was the night she was determined to learn whether he still needed her. So far it wasn't looking good; he seemed preoccupied. Then again, he had said he was tired.

The orange-yellow earth pony was still on the couch. He gave her an understanding grin that almost put her at ease. "It's actually a good opportunity for a segue," he said. "You've made me plenty happy today, but I want to put your needs first. Right now you're nervous and we both have things that need saying. And not just about the past month or so; I've been thinking about where we're going."

Roseluck leaned in, hopeful. "Rosie," he said, "when I first saw you that day by the fountain, everything felt so natural. I was so at ease talking to you. Your smiles have always brought me joy, and your pain has always been my pain as well. I knew from the beginning that I could never do anything that would cause you lasting harm."

Something's wrong, she thought as he continued. The words sounded rehearsed and not a little ominous. If this really was about her needs... "Sunny, I apologize for interrupting, but what I need right now is a dialogue. Why are you giving me a speech?"

Her normally fast-on-his-hooves boyfriend froze. Eventually he said, "I need to do this. I just... I wanted you to understand why..."

"Who is she?" Rose asked softly. Her eyes began to quiver in the silence that followed. "Does she live here in Ponyville, or do you see her out of town?"

He broke eye contact. "How did, I mean, who are you ta—"

"I knew it!" Rose broke down. After a moment, she noticed Sunburst kept his distance. He knew she was a crier, and he'd always been quick to comfort her. For now he stood by, which she took as a small relief.

After several long minutes, her weeping began to subside. Sunburst joined her on the floor and spoke. "I owe you an answer. She's nopony you know; she lives in Appleloosa." She looked at him, mystified, as he returned to understanding mode. "Rosie, I want to thank you for everything. You've made me a better stallion than I ever thought I could be. You taught me how to do this whole love thing. But I need a family, a future, something long-term. And that requires somepony I can be open with, and open about."

"Sunny, you could always tell me anything."

"But I could never tell the world that I loved you. How would this ever have worked out? You wanted this a secret from your friends because of my history with Daisy, and last time you saw your parents you told them you weren't seeing anypony. For two years we haven't been able to do anything but meet in my house or someplace else alone and either make out or talk."

Rose's eyes flashed fire. "I wasn't. Your only. Secret. Was I?"

Sunburst sighed. "She and I will be out in the open as soon as she moves here. Next month."

"Right after you've swept me out like trash?"

Somehow daring to touch her, Sunburst put a hoof on her shoulder. "Hey. You are a wonderful mare with a bright future. I'm sorry that I can't be part of it. Everything about tonight breaks my heart, but you need a stallion you can let into your life. I waited as long as I could, but this hurt was inevitable."

His reassurances went on and on, but none addressed his breach of faith. When she got a word in edgewise, she excused herself and left his house with a simple goodbye.

Rose's mind raced as she trudged home. Sunburst seemed confident he'd done exactly the right thing every step of the way. She tried to think of any point in their relationship that wasn't a mistake on her part, in light of tonight's revelation. She couldn't come up with anything. And he was her one and only, ever! Only he had ever shown any interest. Where was her "bright future"? Hawking flowers nopony would buy? Sponging off her friends? Losing more of her family?

As she passed by the fountain, she gazed at her reflection in the water. She looked just like she felt. She couldn't go home like this. Lily and Daisy would still be up, and what could she possibly say to them? She walked on, all the way to the edge of town, and continued to the Everfree Forest.

Stepping into the trees just far enough to be out of sight, she lay down on the grass, expecting to cry herself to sleep. This time the tears wouldn't come. She felt bone dry from forelock to fetlock. After a few minutes she began softly singing to herself, a lullaby she'd learned from her aunt. Rose drifted off to sleep amid memories of her time as a filly.

The next morning she arrived at the doorstep just as Lily and Daisy stepped out for work. "Rose, we were so worried!" Lily said. "Where have you been?"

Exhausted despite a much longer sleep than she'd anticipated, Rose didn't have the energy to compose a cover story. "I'll tell you later. Right now I'm not feeling well, so I won't be coming with you today." She walked between them into the house.

Daisy's eyebrows rose. She turned around after her. "What is it? Do you need a doctor?"

Rose started up the staircase to her room. "No, I'm not sick. I just need to be..."

She was stopped by a tone of voice Daisy usually reserved for problem customers. "Rose!" Daisy's voice softened again. "Dear, you don't look sick, you look shaken up. If...if something happened that you're...hurt, you need to be with somepony. You don't need to say anything right now, but this is no time to be by yourself."

"It's not that!" Rose shouted. Desperate for solitude, she lowered her volume but not her intensity. "I said I'm not feeling well enough to come in. I'm asking you to accept that as my reason."

Lily and Daisy exchanged a helpless look.

"Please?" Rose said.

Her two friends went on to work. Alone, Rose drooped her head and whispered to herself, "They actually left me?"

***

At the Hospital...

As Rose pondered whether to add a fourth point, she heard a knock on the open door. Nurse Snowheart stood in the doorway. "Roseluck, I just wanted to let you know, the doctor would like to visit with you in a few minutes if you'd care to head on over to the recreation room." Rose nodded and the nurse disappeared down the hallway.

It was time. She looked down at her pad of paper. There was plenty of fodder for discussion, Rose thought. She frowned as she tried to picture her upcoming conversation with the doctor. Much of what she had written was unknown to everypony she loved, and this doctor was a stranger. But, she assured herself, he was a professional; everything would be confidential.

Then Rose remembered: she had signed a lot of papers that morning. She was sure one was a waiver of confidentiality. What had it said? Something about any matter regarding harming herself or others? But wasn't that why she couldn't leave, why she was here in the first place? She hated the idea of her friends and family hearing her darkest secrets from a stranger who might take anything she said in the worst possible way.

Gathering the pages she'd used in her analysis, Rose ripped them from the pad, just as she had her first few aborted attempts at writing. She almost wadded them up but paused. They may yet help her reason things out, but they were for no eyes but her own. She looked around for a place they wouldn't be disturbed by anypony changing the bed sheets, monitoring her, or cleaning. With a flash of insight, she folded the pages in thirds letter-style and placed them behind the clock on the wall.

But what of her assignment? Picking up the pencil once more, she sat over the empty pad and hastily drew a memory: her as a filly riding in a carriage with her Aunt Rosebud. She looked at the picture. Something a foal might have scribbled, she thought. But not bad for two minutes' work, and something harmless the doctor could interpret any way he liked without her having to give up too much.

Rose arrived with her notepad to find Dr. Hardy Spirit already seated at one of the center tables in the recreation room. In one corner, a unicorn worked a jigsaw puzzle while two earth ponies chatted at the other end of the room.

"Hello, Roseluck," the doctor said as she joined him at the table. In his voice she detected an odd mix of warmth and professional detachment that she found a bit unsettling. "How are you doing this evening?"

"I'm still not sure," she admitted.

"Any thoughts from today that you'd like to share?"

She took a moment to consider how much of herself to give away. "Just that it seems like everything that needs fixing is out there, while I'm stuck in here."

If the doctor considered her statement important, he didn't show it. "Let's see what you've got for me," he said, nodding at her pad of paper. She showed him the drawing of her and her aunt in the carriage. He studied the scribbled scene. "You're the filly in this picture?" She nodded and he continued. "And who is this next to you?"

Rose answered, "That's my aunt."

"You look happy here. Did you enjoy your time with your aunt back then?"

"Yes," she said carefully. "She took me riding whenever I felt down."

The doctor continued his line of questioning. "Does your aunt still ride in carriages?"

Such a harmless question, Rose thought, but she could feel herself tensing up. "N-no."

Dr. Hardy met her eyes for a second. "I see. Were you a filly when she died?"

Rose let out a sigh. He must have known from the moment she'd shown him the picture. "No, only a few months ago."

"That must have been hard. Did you talk to anypony about it?"

"Sunburst, my boyfriend at the time."

"So in only a few months you lost your aunt and your boyfriend?"

"Well, I wouldn't put it like that. He's healthy, but we're not together anymore."

"And so your friends who brought you here gave you a place to stay?" The doctor pursed his lips, evidently rethinking his last question. "Pardon me if I'm assuming too much, but they seem like the kind of ponies who would do something like that, and they say they found you at home."

"Actually, I've been living with them for quite a while, just until my business picks up ag..." Rose stopped mid-sentence as she realized she had now revealed virtually everything she'd decided not to tell him about.

Dr. Hardy waited a few seconds before speaking. "Well, I'm encouraged that you're already thinking ahead about your business, and that you have such caring friends. I'd like to meet with you again this time tomorrow. In the meantime, I have a new assignment for you. Let me get you a fresh pad of paper, since that one's mostly used up."

He offered her a fresh notepad, and by comparing the two she could see she'd used up over half the pages of the first one that afternoon. He knows I was hiding something!

The doctor spoke. "You said everything that needs fixing is 'out there.' I'd like to suggest to you that there is something you can start fixing here. Think beyond events and consider how you approach life, how you respond to what happens and how you interact with those around you. What issues of attitude and outlook do you see that might make the difference between where you are now and where you'd like to be? You don't need to feel any pressure to find the answers right now; your task is only to discover the questions." He then engaged her in small talk for a few minutes before saying good night. Rose let the conversation drift and then end, unsure whether everything he said was a probe for information or whether he was just being nice.

Back in her room, Rose's weariness and frustration returned. How could she have thought she could keep secrets from somepony who studies minds? He had spoken with her friends; would he talk to them again? Would he tell them what he knew? And to think that it wasn't even events that he was concerned with! She should have been considering attitudes all along! This wasn't day one of my recovery , Rose thought as she dropped into her bed. Just another day wasted.

***

In her dreams that night, Roseluck found herself back in the house she shared with Lily and Daisy, still reeling from the previous night's breakup. It was now late afternoon, and her friends would be home in less than an hour. By lunchtime she had made her decision to escape. But she had spent the afternoon hesitating, getting lost in thought, rethinking just how to go about it, and just plain putting it off. Now she ran the risk of being discovered, prevented, and forced to explain herself. She sighed. Procrastination was one more problem she wouldn't have to deal with much longer.

Rose went into the bathroom and took out the xylazine shots Lily occasionally used to help her sleep. Enough doses and she would simply fall asleep and never wake up. Whatever lay ahead, if anything, would be peaceful, or at least better than this. Major traumas and mundane annoyances would lose their hold on her and she would be free.

Having administered Lily's remaining supply of shots, Rose went to her bed and waited for the inevitable. Within a minute she was suddenly nervous about the whole exercise. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing as she felt the energy draining from her. In a short time she felt her heartbeat accelerate and her joints stiffen. Her legs straightened out and splayed outward as her head began to swim.

Rose's dream continued as the clock struck six times. She saw Lily gallop into the room with Daisy close behind her. They screamed at the sight of her, a shaking, drooling mess soaked with sweat. Her vision blurred and then resolved into the form of the night sky. Was she being carried? Her eyes caught sight of a crescent moon on a patch of violet, and she heard an unfamiliar voice, firm but caring: "You must stay and smile again."

Author's Note

While there are a number of inside references, and some matters of medicine, science, law, etc., work differently in Equestria than they do in my native country, I have tried to make this story accessible to readers new to the TV series or otherwise unfamiliar with the "lore" of the fandom. The overall timeline and events of the hospital sequence are largely based on my own experience of depression, but the backstory and details of Rose's recovery are original.

Chapter 2

Roseluck opened her eyes as the sun rose. Whether it was the rest or the antidepressants, she felt strangely energized. Glancing toward the doorway, she noticed her new pad of paper on the small table between the bed and the door. The pages were blank, clean, ready to be written on. She thought through Dr. Hardy's words the previous night. He said there was something I could fix here, she recalled. Her regret over the conversation turned to resolve. This time doesn't have to be a waste. I can find the issue in my thinking, get my head right, and be ready to face life when I get out tomorrow!

She washed, retrieved yesterday's discarded pages from behind the clock, read them, and stood over the fresh notepad. Just as she was picking up the pencil, Nurse Snowheart called her to breakfast and then to an agonizingly irrelevant group session on self-restraint. She returned with two hours to think and write before lunch. An hour and a half later, Rose had a short list of possible issues and related thoughts:

Roseluck, patient at Ponyville Hospital.
Possible keys to happiness:
1. The meaning of life—and death? My life or everypony's? Does it change? Can it? Should it?
2. Work—am I doing the right thing? Am I my work? Should I be? Need a plan!
3. Too trusting/dependent on others for happiness, safety in relationships: you can only count on yourself.

She studied her final list, growing more confident by the minute that one of these was the issue she could correct to allow her to deal with life once she was released. The third point seemed to offer the most promise, since it related to all her recent troubles.

A knock startled her, and it was the nurse again. "I hope I'm not disturbing you, Roseluck, but you have some company for lunch today, if it's alright. Your parents would like to join you in the cafeteria. Are you okay with seeing them?"

"Absolutely," Rose said, yet her stomach tightened at the thought of facing her parents in such a humiliating state. They'll be so sad. They'll be so worried, she thought. Then it hit her: They'll care. She inhaled sharply. Maybe this was it. Perhaps her relationship with her parents was the common thread in all her problems. Was that the key issue? She turned her notepad face down on the bed and trotted downstairs to the hospital cafeteria.

As she entered the large dining area, she grabbed a simple tray of alfalfa and quickly surveyed the room. With his rusty brown coat and white mane, her father was hard to pick out in a crowd, but her mother was easier to spot: she had the same colors as Rose, only in darker hues. There they were; they had just found a table, and her father was placing a reassuring foreleg around her mother. They looked frantic.

She joined them, and they exchanged greetings and light affections, but no smiles. Rose's mother's voice caught as she spoke. "Oh, Rose, we are so sor-sorry!"

"Are you alright?" Rose's father asked.

"I'm not hurt," Rose answered. "I've been fine since about this time yesterday. I guess you've heard, they say I was going through clinical depression. Not just then, but for a long time."

"You still are," her father corrected. "Honey, this isn't something you simply snap out of. Getting through this will take time. I'm sure they've told you that. We don't expect you to be back to normal over a weekend. You'll need to stay on the medicine they're giving you, go through counseling, re-evaluate..."

Rose's mother broke in. "Topline, dear, don't overwhelm her. Rose, we're just relieved that you're going to be okay."

Rose and her parents made small talk as they ate. After the meal, Topline looked at his wife. "Gallica, what we talked about..."

"Oh, yes," she said. "Rose, there are a couple things we wanted to share with you. First, we want to apologize for anything we did in raising you that's made life difficult for you. I know we weren't as close as a lot of other families."

Topline looked directly into Rose's eyes and she saw tears forming in his. "Forgive me, Rose, especially. I thought I was a pretty good father, but I was a bad husband. I didn't love your mother the way I should. You don't know how I treated her sometimes."

His wife put her hoof on his, giving him the strength to continue. Looking at him, she said, "We've reconciled and he's loved me ever since."

Topline bowed his head. "I hate who I was back then. You didn't know because you were so young, but I know that must have had an impact on you."

As her parents waited for a response, Rose recalled a distant impression of her mother crying and imagined that memory evaporating. She'd longed to hear these words from her father for years, but this didn't really explain anything. "Dad, I forgive you. I knew more than you probably think I did, and we can talk about that some time. I don't want to be haunted by those memories anymore. But honestly, I don't think that's why I'm here now." Over the next half hour, she proceeded to tell them the truth about the past year of her life. To her surprise, there was no anger, no shaming, only listening.

When she had finished, Gallica was first to speak. "Rose, you're not alone. Everypony goes through times of grief, times of failure, times when they're deeply hurt. We knew the same would be true for our daughter. Maybe we didn't prepare you for it. Or did we not ask enough questions? Did you think we wouldn't love you if we knew these things? We could have helped you if we'd known what you needed."

"This isn't your fault," Rose insisted. "You taught me fine. But I've still got some things to figure out. Believe me, I've got plenty of time to think. Anyway, I know it's a long trip whenever you come to Ponyville, but when will I see you again?"

"We're staying in town," Topline said. "We'll come back to pick you up on Tuesday."

Rose wilted. "Tuesday? But it's only Saturday. I thought I'd be out tomorrow morning."

Her father answered. "They said you need at least another twenty-four hours of observation for side effects, and your doctor is off tomorrow and Monday, so the first chance for safe release is Tuesday."

"But there are other doctors."

"Yes, but he's the only psychiatrist. A town like Ponyville's lucky to have even one. We just had one locate to Hollow Shades last year, and he's our first. You usually only find them in major cities. Anyway, if all goes well, he should be able to release you around noon, and we'll be there."

"That was the other thing we wanted to say," Rose's mother added. "You're welcome to come back to Hollow Shades and stay with us for however long it takes. In six months or a year, when you're feeling up to it, you can come back to Ponyville for a fresh start."

Rose's eyes went wide. "How...h-how...how could I leave Ponyville? I mean, thank you, you're being very kind, and the offer is generous, and please don't think I want to stay away from you. I promise to visit more and everything. But I have friends here. They'd be devastated. And they'd worry. I'm sorry, but this is my home now."

Rose saw that both parents were taken off guard by her refusal, but they recovered gracefully. "I understand," Gallica said. "You're always welcome if you change your mind later. But can you promise to at least write?"

Rose nodded. "I'll send a letter every week."

"That's good," her father said. "We'll see you Tuesday and take you back to Daisy and Lily's place."

They said their farewells, and just as they parted, she said, "Mom, dad...this wasn't your fault."

Back in her room, Rose reflected on the double relief she felt. In one conversation she had just unburdened herself of ten years of worry over her parents' love for each other, and of the guilt of her silence about her more recent troubles. She had indeed been able to make progress in her life, even in this place.

But did what happened to me as a filly damage me beyond repair? she asked herself. She went back to her notepad and spent half an hour trying to reinterpret each incident and issue in terms of her family's trauma. There were hints of some influence here and there, but too much was left unexplained. Rose came away as sure as ever that the cause of her depression lay somewhere else.

So what was the cause? The doctor would know, but he wasn't going to simply give her the answer. But surely he would let her know when she found it. Either tonight or...Tuesday, three long days away. "I wasted the first day," Rose said aloud, "so they're giving me extra time to find the problem. And when I find it, I'll be released, and my counselor and I can nail down an action plan to deal with it. We'll follow the plan, and then this will all be behind me!"

Rose stopped as she noticed she was pacing and talking to herself, just like so many of the other patients. Probably just an excess of energy, she considered. That thought encouraged her; how many weeks had it been since she'd had any energy to speak of?

She spent the rest of the afternoon getting her thoughts in order, preparing what to say to make her next meeting with Dr Hardy productive. She took an early dinner and returned with enough time to list as many positive memories as she could recall regarding her time with her parents in the ten years since they'd gotten back together. The list was far longer than she had expected. "Thank you," she said, resolving to thank them in person the next time she saw them.

***

"Thank you, Roseluck," Dr. Hardy said, "for opening up tonight." They were twenty minutes into their meeting, and she had just finished the same recounting she had given her parents at lunch. "I see you've been using your time well. Were you able to think of any internal issues you need to address?" She handed him her second notepad and they talked briefly through each of the three topics she had listed: the meaning of life, the importance of her work, and the issue of trust.

"I am a bit concerned about your third point," said the doctor, "though given the circumstances of your breakup this week, I certainly understand it. Are there ponies in your life who have been faithful to you, who have earned your trust, and who despite their failings have been supportive in the end?"

Feeling chastised, Rose answered, "You're right, of course. I should just scratch that one out. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Not at all. Look at how you worded this. You're very observant to see a need for safety in relationships, and to note the danger of depending too much on others for your happiness. Now if most of your friends and family have been dependable, that's wonderful. Many of our patients don't have that blessing. But there is a balance between reasonable trust and self-sufficiency. I leave it to you to find that balance."

Rose wrote "balance" next to her third point and circled it. She set the pencil down, took a deep breath, and gave the doctor a hopeful look. "Is that my issue, then, doctor? Or am I overworked or missing the meaning of life, or do I need to look for another answer?"

"Roseluck," Dr. Hardy began, "I always encourage patients to find their own answers. But just to start you on the right path, let me say that every decision you make has myriad factors. Your inborn personality, how you were raised, the behaviors you saw when you were younger, your peers, how you're used to dealing with problems, tragic events in your life, your daily habits, your health, even the weather – all of these things influence how you think and what you do. None of these can be singled out. And none of these things excuses your decision, but if it was only a decision independent of everything else, you could just as easily decide not to."

The doctor then gave her a warm smile. "I see those flattened ears. This is not a rebuke. You really have made a good start in thinking through a number of the factors I'm talking about. Believe me, if there were only one thing to work on, my job would be a lot easier. I could simply tell you what it was and give you the step-by-step instructions for how to deal with it. We know it's not that simple; there's always a context to reckon with, and it will help you immensely if you arrive at some of those answers yourself...with a little help, of course. That's why you need to talk things out with a counselor who gets to know you over the weeks and months."

Rose obligingly returned Dr. Hardy's smile. "Doctor, I do have one more question, just a small one. Why is my room a different color than all the others, pink instead of blue or green?"

The doctor chuckled. "Oh, did the nurse not tell you? Your room is painted in the same colors as the nursery. It promotes the idea that you're undergoing a rebirth, starting fresh. What you have, Roseluck, is the chance for a second life."

Rose returned to her room devastated. Had he set her up for failure, or was she too dense to understand his instructions? How many hours had she spent thinking she was on the right track? With nothing else to do, she drew pictures of her with her aunt. For an hour or more, she scribbled without thinking. Then restless, she leafed through the pictures she'd drawn. What a mess. Pleasant scenes from her childhood were drawn right next to, and in some cases overlapping, sketches of a coffin. That coffin. In one picture, Sunburst stood laughing, holding a bag of money over a fallen Aunt Rosebud. "Maybe I'm just going crazy," Rose said aloud, and then settled into bed for a night of fitful sleep.

Sunday was not a good day. Without release, without a strategy, without visitors, without even the doctor for advice, Rose had a full day ahead at the mercy of a slowly ticking clock. With only more of the same tomorrow, she considered.

After breakfast, there was a long group session on how to handle stress. She found this at least mildly interesting and took notes. Back in her room, she looked at the clock. It read 9:15.

Rose read over her notes from the meeting, then checked the clock again. It was now 9:20.

She read through her notebooks, slowly and aloud. The clock now showed 9:50.

With a frustrated snort, Rose got up and walked to the recreation area. She immersed herself in solitaire word games until her head hurt, then returned to her room. The time: 10:25.

She returned to her bed and wrote five poems about calla lilies. She looked up—lunchtime, right? Not quite, 10:50.

When the call for lunch came, Rose was dancing alone in her room. She trudged off to lunch, taking extra time, and even struck up an awkward conversation with another patient when she was through. She then walked two laps around the cafeteria before returning to her room. How is it only 12:15?!

Afternoon and evening were no better, and nightfall came as a great relief.

She rose early Monday and stared at the clock as it ticked its way to seven in the morning. She reflected on the fact that this would be her last full day in the hospital. Time is not my enemy, she determined. It's a tool. She would use these final hours to prove to the doctor and herself that she could find her own answers. What had Dr. Hardy said? That she could only sort through all the issues after weeks and months with a counselor? Who could endure such a long period of uncertainty? No, far better to get the diagnosis out of the way now and hit the ground running tomorrow.

Rose's head ached at the thought of more analysis. She'd done more thinking and introspection in the past few days than she had in years before that. That was more in line with Daisy's abilities, or Miss Cheerilee's, or just about anypony besides her. No more numbered lists, she resolved. She needed to figure this out her way.

After breakfast, Rose brought back a fresh notepad from the recreation room and began writing "Rose's Rules for Relationships": guidelines formatted as rhyming couplets. The first pair of lines dealt with learning to trust, the next addressed a matter of safety or independence, and back and forth. She even worked in a few flower references as she went. Her experience with Sunburst figured prominently in the safety portions, though she was careful not to name him. At sunset she admired her practical poem: eighty rules, as only she could write them. She had found her balance.

***

"I must say, I'm very encouraged," said Dr. Hardy as their final meeting neared its end. "You've certainly made the most of your time here. But your recovery is really only beginning. First and foremost, you need to stay on your medication. It should make you feel like you're okay, but the root chemical problems are still there. Until you're back in balance and able to maintain that balance by the way you handle life's ups and downs, there will be a danger of relapse. And I can't stress enough your need for a qualified counselor to keep you on track in your recovery. Out there is the real world, and it won't give you a break just because of how much you've already been through. I also recommend keeping a friend or two close by, especially in the first few days."

"That won't be a problem, doctor," Rose answered. "I've had quite enough time alone recently."

"Very good. Finally, I know you're eager to get out, but we always ask our psychiatric patients: Are you sure you're ready? Will you feel safe leaving the hospital?"

"Yes."

The doctor authorized her release, and in a short time her parents arrived with Lily and Daisy to escort her home. "Well, that was the hard part," she said once again. "I've started."

Chapter 3

The walk home from the hospital began quietly. As they crossed the river and started across the market, Rose glanced at their booths. Lily broke the awkward silence. "Daisy and I are taking turns handling your flower sales. It's still early in the week, but I think business is starting to pick up a little. We'll be happy to cover for you until you're ready to work."

"Thanks," Roseluck said. "I'll want to get back to selling as soon as I think I can. I'll need all the profit I can get once bills start showing up."

"You won't have to worry about that," her father said. "Your mother and I have plenty of savings."

Rose halted. "Oh, I don't know. Shouldn't I be taking responsibility for my decisions?"

Rose's mother answered. "Your father and I talked about this on the way here. We still think this may have resulted partly from our neglect."

"This is not your fault," Rose insisted.

Topline nuzzled his daughter. "Still, there are just too many times we weren't there for you when you were growing up. Please let us do something for you now."

After a moment, Rose agreed. "Alright. You can help with the medical bills as much as you like. That will allow me to get the rest of my financial issues worked out."

"With our help," Daisy said.

Rose groaned. "Not you, too. Girls, you may not know how deep in the hole I am. I don't want to weigh you all down." She hesitated. If things were really that bad, didn't she need more help, not less? "Well, maybe later. But for now I want to see how far I can get on my own."

Rose's parents took their leave at the doorstep, and Daisy pulled a card out of one of her saddlebags. "You'll want to read this right away," she said. Rose looked at the card:

Rose,

You have been a fountain of joy

To me and to many.

May this bring you a smile

That shines your pain away.

~Sparkler

Rose blushed, and her heart leapt at the words. Then Daisy and Lily led her inside, and she saw it: the kitchen table piled high with more cards. Her jaw dropped. "Why, there must be over a hundred!"

"This was all Sparkler's idea," Lily explained.

"But I barely know her," Rose said. "She buys roses for her mother and sister on their birthdays, but we've never really spoken."

Lily answered, "Yes, and her mother's birthday was Friday. She asked after you and..."

Rose startled. "What did you tell her? Does everypony know?"

Daisy broke in. "Easy, Rose. Lily told her you were in the hospital in serious condition, which you were, but that you were going to be okay. She didn't give any details. Sparkler asked if you could use any encouragement when you got out and I said yes."

"Is it alright?" Lily asked. "Do you want to read a few?"

"I want to read all of them. But I still don't understand why there are so many. You two are the only close friends I have."

"Rose, dear, think of what you do for a living," Lily said. "The roses you sell mean an awful lot to the ponies they're bought for, and your customers can see your heart in the way you sell them. You touch a lot of lives here just doing what you do every day."

Rose discovered she was beaming, her first genuine smile since before the hospital. She opened a card on the table, but Daisy put her hoof over it to speak. "Before you get started, there is one other thing. I thought it would be too much, but I promised I'd ask."

Rose looked up. "There's more?"

"A party has been suggested," Daisy replied, "tomorrow night, but only if you want one."

"Pinkie?" Rose asked.

Daisy and Lily nodded in unison.

Rose's answer surprised even herself. "Actually, I think I'd like that. Tell her I'd be honored."

***

That night, after a quiet dinner, Rose told her story once more, this time to Lily and Daisy. By now it was becoming a tale, almost as though it had happened to somepony else. As she finished she looked up, expecting the same encouraging and sympathetic looks she had received from her parents and the doctor. Instead she saw frowns, and was that a glare? Shocked, Rose scrambled for a way to ease the tension. "I-I'm sorry I've caused such an inconvenience for you."

"Now, honey," Lily said, ignoring the false apology, "we were both right here the whole way. We knew something was wrong; how could we not notice? I mean, you used to be the cheeriest of all of us. So whenever we saw you down, we always asked what was wrong, Daisy especially."

"Not to make light of your problems," Daisy said, "but we figured you must be hiding something horrible not to open up to us. But a breakup, debts, and a loss in the family are all very common things we could have helped you through. Think of what we've already done for each other. Why didn't you let us in?"

Rose knew the answer to Daisy's question and didn't like it. "I thought you'd be ashamed of me. You already know I'm weak. You have abilities to get through life that I just don't have. You're right, you're always stepping in and helping, and I know there's got to be a limit to that. I didn't want to use up my chances, and I..."

Daisy spoke softly, but Rose could tell she was appalled. "Rose! How could you think that of us?"

Rose's eyes closed as she bowed her head. "I'm...I'm sorry."

"No, that wasn't a request for an apology," Daisy said. "It was a real question. Lily and I need to understand why you're thinking this way if we're going to work through this. Is there something we've said to you? Do we give off the impression we'd think less of you for the hardships you face? Or is there something else in your life that makes this difficult for you?"

"Well, when...I was..." Tears were running down Rose's face. She glanced at the clock on the wall behind Daisy, then stared at the floor.

Daisy lifted Rose's chin with a hoof. "Look at me as I say this: There is nothing, nothing, to fear from our friendship. Even if your problems hurt us, they can never drive us away from you. So you don't need our abilities, you have us. Every part of your life that you share with us gives us more opportunities to love you. So you can always be honest with us, okay?"

Rose nodded, well past the ability to speak. Lily moved over beside her and nuzzled her calmingly while Daisy cleaned up from dinner. Eventually Lily whispered, "You are with your friends tonight, Roseluck, after all this. So tonight, no more thinking, no more stories, no more advice. Just vent your emotions. Let them all out. Now is the time."

***

The next day, Lily and Daisy stayed home with Rose, and the three spent most of the time discussing her "Rules for Relationships" and reflecting on the thoughts expressed in Rose's get well cards. The party that night was a success, a relaxing opportunity to be around other ponies. Rose was quiet, but she thanked her well-wishers and enjoyed a couple of games.

"Rose, have you thought about a counselor yet?" Lily asked as they were on their way home.

"Not really. I don't know anypony in the profession."

"I have a suggestion, if you're open to it," Lily said. "You remember meeting Carrot Top tonight? Well, you wouldn't guess, but she has enough training; she's licensed. She's helped Sparkler's family and a lot of others through some hard times. No offense to our unicorn friends, but she's a hard-working earth pony like you and me. In my opinion she'd be better for you than a doctor."

Thursday morning, Rose mailed the first of her weekly letters to her parents and made her way to the farmland west of town. She found her counselor, a yellow earth pony with an orange mane, tending the vegetables in her garden. "Well, here's Roseluck," Carrot Top said. "Lily said you might be stopping by."

"Yes. I'm not sure how much you know about my hospital visit, but part of my therapy is supposed to involve counseling, and my friends recommended you."

"And the diagnosis?" Carrot Top asked while digging around a stubborn weed.

"Depression. Actually, it was a suicide attempt." It occurred to Rose that this was the first time she'd spoken the dreaded word since the incident.

Carrot Top pulled up the weed with her teeth and spat it out. "You're a brave pony to be that upfront about it. Yeah, I've counseled a pony through that before. I won't say who, of course. Two things you should know before we start. First, anything you say stays here. There's two secret-keepers in Ponyville and I'm one of 'em. Second, I'm not a philosopher, so we won't be pondering metaphysics." Carrot Top paused to toss a spade that landed at Rose's hooves. "I'm not much for that kind of sit-down talk. If you want a conversation, we can have one while you help me work. We can tend my garden or yours or do some other project, but consider that your fee."

Rose agreed and Carrot Top brought them to a neglected area of her huge garden. (Field would be a better word for it, Rose observed.) As they weeded together, Rose gave the short version of recent events, the simple facts of her aunt's death, her business and money problems, and her breakup with Sunburst.

"How did you feel while you were in the hospital?" her new counselor asked.

"Part of it was awful, one frustrating, annoying thing after another. But then..."

"Kind of like life?" Carrot Top interrupted. "I'm sorry, go on."

Rose continued, "But then I figured the doctor was trying to get me to discover one big issue in my life I needed to address, and that was the purpose of my stay there."

Carrot Top scooped a small pile of pulled weeds into a bucket. "So you coped by having a purpose."

"It wasn't just coping, though. I learned a few things and it made my time there mean something."

"Do you think that might work just as well outside the hospital? That's the basic idea behind cutie marks, right?" Carrot Top looked back at her own cutie mark, three carrots with their greens attached. "They give us a sense of purpose that we interpret based on our talents and interests. The greens still on these carrots tell me I'm a grower, but your rose cutie mark is budding and cut short; you're a seller. I'm not saying your cutie mark is your purpose, but it implies there's purpose out there. Does that make any sense?"

"But in the hospital I was wrong," Rose protested as she struggled with some bindweed. "There wasn't just one big issue. Some of the things I needed to deal with, I've only thought of since I got out."

"Did it matter at the time? Your sense of purpose gave meaning to your hospital stay even if it wasn't perfect."

Rose furrowed her brow. "Are you saying we don't really have a purpose, we just pick one? What does that say about cutie marks, then?"

Carrot Top rested for a moment. "As I said, I'm not really good with the big-picture questions. I have a purpose, but whether I'm living something that was planned for me or I made it up out of the blue I couldn't tell you. It could even be both, for all I know."

Rose smirked at Carrot Top's unconventional manner. "So what is your counsel, counselor?"

"Well, let me ask a question first. What do you want? Y'know, everypony wants something. Some ponies thrive on admiration of their work, some of 'em seek excitement, some want to make a loved one proud. My neighbor Applejack wants to know she's following through on her commitments, and that's no secret. Me, I like the satisfaction of a job well done. What do you want, Roseluck?"

That's an easy one, Rose thought. The nurses had done the same exercise in the first small group session. "For me, it's assurance, or you might call it hope. I want to know that everything will be okay," she said.

"Well, here's your 'philosophy' for the day," Carrot Top said with a wink. "Every want can be a strength or a weakness. And so here's my counsel: When it comes to purpose, think about ways you can use your desire for assurance as a strength, in a way that helps the ponies you care about. And that last part's the key. If I was only doing this for myself, there'd be a lot fewer weeds and words in this garden by now. But I'm making a new friend, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Rose returned Carrot Top's smile. A new friend. Maybe that's what I need to be.

***

The promising first counseling session had Rose in high spirits. Finally it seemed someone really understood her. It was almost like talking with her aunt again. But that afternoon she realized it was almost precisely one week ago that she had tried to take her own life. The Roseluck who did that is still inside me somewhere, Rose thought. The medicine and my mood are the only things holding her back. Rose shuddered. She could kill me. She already almost did. She looked around her bedroom and noticed the adjoining bathroom where Lily had kept her shots. I'm right where it happened! She looked at the clock—five minutes to six. She had to get out of that house.

Rose rushed downstairs to see Daisy just starting supper. Lily was still putting away their saddlebags. "Can I ask you girls a favor?" Rose said. "I know you just got home from work, but could you sit with me outside for a few minutes?"

Lily and Daisy looked at each other, confused. "Sure thing, sweetie," Lily said.

Obliging her odd request, they went outside with her and sat down in the grass. Rose said nothing; she simply stared at the clock tower. As the town's clock struck six, she literally shook with fear while holding onto her friends. When the clock went silent, she felt as if the danger had passed. "Thank you for saving me last week," she said.

"We're still saving you," said Daisy as they went back inside. "We'll keep trouble from coming your way for as long as you need us to."

"And get you back on your hooves," Lily added. Rose noticed Daisy throw Lily a questioning glance and wondered what she was missing. For now, she was just glad they were here.

***

The next morning, Rose was just waking when she heard her name mentioned downstairs. She peeked into the stairwell and saw Lily and Daisy talking at breakfast. She came down a few steps until she could hear their discussion.

"But it's only been a week," Daisy was saying. "She needs time before getting back into the swing of things."

"Time doing what? She won't get better just thinking about herself and all that's happened," Lily said.

"She has to address her issues," Daisy objected, "not just busy herself as an escape. Maybe in a few weeks..."

"Work is not an escape! It's what adults do and it's a way of helping others, and don't you always feel better when you've done that?"

"Yes, but honestly, you know how customers can be sometimes. And she's so fragile."

Lily scoffed. "Lying around will only make her more fragile."

"She is scared, Lily!"

"Daisy, you saw those cards. She ought to be grinning from ear to ear. She's the darling of Ponyville right now."

Rose gasped from the top of the stairs, and all eyes were instantly on her. Lily blushed and shook her head. "I-I'm sorry, Rose, I didn't mean it like that. I should have said you'll probably have more support from the town now than if you wait till later. I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? I guess I should just ask you: How would you feel about coming back to work Monday?"

"Scared," Rose spat out. Then she turned around to go back to bed, but stopped just out of sight to gauge her friends' reaction.

She heard Daisy's voice quivering. "Lily, I'm scared, too. What are we going to do?"

There was a long pause, followed by Lily's voice. "I don't know."

***

Six days later, Rose watched her friends leave for work. She wished them well and prepared for another day of housekeeping and whatever else she could find to do. She hated being alone, but what was the alternative? For the hundredth time she played out scenarios in her mind. Maybe Lily was right. Getting out there would toughen me up. On the other hoof, how could she know what I'm going through? She's always been the strong one. Then again, she'll be there, so I can turn things over to her if I need to. But Daisy's strong too, and she thinks I need weeks to recover. Rose imagined a problem customer and how it would look if she collapsed emotionally in front of all the other ponies.

She walked into the greenhouse area at the back of the house, used only for storage during the warm seasons. There she saw roses and violets her housemates had brought in to supply Rose's usual inventory. Outside, Rose's area of the gardens was bare. It was clear of weeds; Lily had probably seen to that. "So that it will be ready when I am," Rose said aloud. Days or weeks, I'll have to go back eventually. And when I do...

It was lunchtime before Rose realized it was Thursday, counseling day. She ate with Lily and Daisy at the café and then found Carrot Top in the marketplace. Rose invited her counselor to her portion of the flower gardens, and they walked back to the house together. "So what are we doing today?" Carrot Top asked.

"Planting," Rose said. "Once I'm ready for the marketplace again, I want to be prepared if my sales go back to what they used to be. I can buy stock easily enough, but I'd always rather sell flowers that I've grown myself." She added with a giggle, "With your help, of course."

"High spirits, I like that," Carrot Top said. They spent the next hour planting roses and violets, and discussing Rose's parents and the hills and valleys of her mood since her time in the hospital.

Around lunch time, Carrot Top looked over toward the marketplace. "So at some point you'll be able to do your daily sales again. What does 'able' look like to you?"

"Come again?"

"Let me turn that upside-down. How are you unable to jump back in now? What's different from when you were sealing the deal out there?"

Rose reflected for a moment and replied, "Like Daisy said, I'm fragile. I'm timid and pessimistic. That'll make it hard to connect with other ponies, and if I run into problems, I'm afraid I'll just break. I realize my regulars will show their support at first, but a salespony needs to be liked, not just felt sorry for."

"I don't know sales the way you do," Carrot Top said, "but I can tell you what ponies like. They like knowing they got better than they deserved. Now, I don't mean that in a bad way. But when customers have a hard day and take it out on you, if you'll just be the nicest pony out there, it's gonna pay off. They try to push you around, let it wash over you and offer a deal that's fair to both of you. Have fun with it, get creative with your compromises, and you might be surprised how they soften up. Even if they don't, they'll remember you were the good mare."

"So basically show tolerance?" Rose asked.

Carrot Top frowned. "You can just put up with somepony, keep your mouth shut, and forget about her when she leaves and call that tolerance. What I'm talking about is a step up from that. I call it grace. You're going out of your way to be kind to ponies when they least deserve it. Seems the ponies around here with the most friends just live their lives that way. Now in business you'll need to keep in control of the situation so they can't take advantage, but I can tell you've got the smarts for that. It also takes courage, though. Do you have courage?"

"I'm not sure," Rose answered. "If I keep telling myself everything will be fine, I can do it, but I'm still nervous."

Carrot Top pointed back to the market, where Lily was visible selling her flowers. "I knew Lily when she first started selling. Now you and she are both naturally skittish, but you know what she told me she learned? She said courage isn't about not being scared; courage is being scared and still doing what you need to do. So in her business she stays focused on what she's there to do, and she stays in charge of herself."

Out of the corner of her eye, Rose saw Daisy join Lily to deal with a line of customers. As she looked that direction, Carrot Top continued. "But y'know, courage also comes in pony form. It's called friends. You're not out there alone. In fact, if you remember they've got your back, I'll bet you can handle anything Ponyville throws at you."

Rose felt like a student receiving instructions from a sage before undergoing a long-awaited trial. Why had she been so scared again? She stood up straight, smiled, and opened her mouth to thank her counselor. But she paused. "If I get out there and everything falls apart..."

"Then come and see me right then. You don't have to wait until counseling day."

The next morning, Rose came downstairs as Lily and Daisy were gathering their things to leave for the market. They smiled as they saw Rose wearing her saddlebags. "Girls," she said, "I'm ready."

Chapter 4

At the market, Roseluck arranged the merchandise at her familiar green-striped pavilion between Lily's and Daisy's booths. She instantly felt better settling into the morning set-up routine she'd maintained from happier times. No, she corrected herself, this isn't about going back. I'm moving forward. As the rising sun cleared the housetops, the center of town was bathed in light. For other salesponies this meant a hot day ahead, but to Rose it seemed like Ponyville was being lit up with joy.

Her first customer approached, a sky-blue pegasus. "It's Sassaflash, isn't it? Good morning," Rose said.

"That's right," said the customer, browsing the violets. "I'm here to pick up a corsage for myself, and do you have any garlands? Caramel has a rodeo coming up and I'd like to give him something of my own."

Rose selected a corsage that matched Sassaflash's light yellow mane. "I can have one ready tomorrow, or by this afternoon if it's a rush."

Sassaflash kicked up into the air happily and floated back down on her wings. "That's great! I'll be back tomorrow morning. And it's so good to see you."

Rose finished the transaction and greeted her next customer.

"Hey, Rose! Glad you're out front again!"

"Nice to see you, Roseluck. What's good today?"

"Rose, hey. It's been a while. I'm happy to see you're okay."

And so it went for the rest of the morning. Daisy and Rose took lunch together during the early afternoon lull. Both were talkative, excited that Rose's first day back had gone so well. As the conversation wound down, Rose's face turned pensive. "There's still one thing I'm anxious about. What do I do if he comes by?"

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," Daisy said with a wink.

"Hmm?"

Daisy took the last sip of her hay shake and said casually, "Let's just say Ponyville has a way of showing a pony when he's unwelcome."

Rose's hoof and forehead met. "Oh, no, no, Daisy, why do you do things like this?"

Daisy shrugged innocently. "Like what?"

"Help me out without asking?"

Daisy's eyes blinked twice as she shook her head. "I helped?"

Rose sighed. "Alright, so what did you do?"

"A friend last week mentioned she'd seen you going into Sunburst's place the night before we took you to the hospital. I confirmed you were there, she asked if he hurt you, I said yes, and word spread."

"You said WHAT?"

Daisy was unfazed. "Well, he did, didn't he?"

To her own surprise, Rose found herself defending her ex. "He was always gentle and considerate, or at least he seemed to be. He never once raised his voice, let alone got physical. You were with him before; you know he's incapable of that."

Daisy returned a piercing glare. "He hurt you. Not physically, I'll take your word on that, but he didn't just spit out the bit on your relationship. He manipulated you emotionally, drew out every secret you had, and made you totally dependent on him at the same time he was flagging around with his new marefriend." Daisy looked out across the market. "Besides, what's done is done. He's already left town, gone to Appleloosa to be with her instead of having her come here. Don't you agree you're better off not having to see him parade around in front of you and buy roses from you for her?"

Rose saw logic in Daisy's argument, but her conscience and her sense of pride still resisted. "Daisy, do you honestly feel that was the right thing to do?"

"After what that rig did to you? Absolutely. He came this close to driving you to your death. I had to think of ways to keep him from ever hurting you again." Daisy's voice went cold as steel. "Some of them were unpleasant. He's lucky I let gossip solve the problem."

Rose gulped. "Okay, okay. Enough about him, then. What about my reputation? When some other mare hears ponies saying I was abused, what will she think?"

"Way ahead of you there," Daisy said, resuming her casual disposition. "Hopefully it's a wake-up call to any mare in the same situation or worse. Regardless of the details, your story's not something to bottle up inside you. You can help other ponies who are in bad way by showing them they're not alone."

"You couldn't let me decide that?" Rose asked.

Daisy bit her lower lip, put off-stride for the first time in the conversation. "Look, I know you don't like us going behind your back," she said slowly. "But here I think it was justified. I'm telling you as a friend, you've always worried more about what other ponies will think about your problems than you've worried about the problems themselves. That's been it from the beginning, if you ask me. Now that the secret's out, there's nothing to keep you from opening up."

Rose was bewildered at the strange mix of wisdom and rash action that was Daisy. She'd have to ask Carrot Top about this. "Well for now," Rose said, "I don't want to let this spoil a fine day. It's actually good news that he won't be showing up. Let's get back to work."

Customers came at a fast pace for the rest of the afternoon, and Rose enjoyed exhibiting the grace and unconditional excellence Carrot Top had recommended. At sunset, Daisy took the day's money to the bank while Rose helped Lily close up shop. "Honey, you sold more than the two of us put together," Lily said. "And don't you dare think they were buying out of pity. I saw how you handled ponies today. This is where you're strong. A couple more days and you could probably run the whole show if you had to."

***

Rose worked Saturday, rested Sunday, and the days that followed were the first normal week she'd had since the hospital. By the time Friday came, sales were still above average for all three ponies, and they celebrated together at the small restaurant inside Ponyville's clock tower.

The next Monday morning, Rose was quiet at breakfast. As Lily and Daisy gathered their things, Rose didn't get up. Soon they were ready to leave and Rose was still sitting silently at the table with her head bowed. Tears were collecting on the table's surface. "Rose, is there anything we can do?" Lily asked.

After a moment, Rose looked up. "What's wrong with me?" she pleaded.

Instantly choked up at the sight, Lily nodded to Daisy, who then joined Rose at the table. "You go set up, Lily. We'll be along in a while," Daisy said, and Lily stepped out.

For several minutes, Daisy and Rose just sat and cried softly together. Eventually Rose's breathing slowed to normal. Daisy put a hoof on Rose's shoulder and said, "This will be with you for a long time. But so will I."

***

Thursday was counseling day again, and Rose was helping harvest baby carrots at the back end of Carrot Top's gardens. "This is delicate work," Carrot Top had said, "but the soil back here isn't healthy enough for the bigger stuff. And the prices on these babies are good because foals love them, and they're real popular up in Cloudsdale. Now tell me what it's like to be back in the marketplace again."

They worked and talked about sales until Rose changed the subject. "I had an...episode Monday before work. I'm still not sure what happened, but I was just inexplicably sad. It came all of a sudden. I tried to push it away, but it was out of my control."

"Yep," Carrot Top said, unconcerned. "You'll probably get a couple more of those. You're still on your medicine, right?" she asked.

"Yes, for the next three months," Rose said. "I'd taken it that morning."

"But only a few minutes before, am I right? Until it kicks in, you're out of balance, and it's still not quite been a month since you started. Just remember it's a medical thing, not your character or your personality. You've already come further than a lot of ponies in getting your head right."

After a few more minutes of work, Carrot Top paused and looked at Rose. "So here's your thinking question for today: Overall, setting Monday morning aside, are you happy?"

The simple questions are always the hardest, Rose thought. "I used to think of myself as happy. I guess I haven't asked myself the question lately. But I smile, I have fun, I enjoy my work. I see beauty around me. I'm glad I'm still around after last month. I suppose I've always had a frightened little foal inside of me, though. But doesn't everypony?"

"I don't," Carrot Top said as she returned to harvesting. "No offense, we're all a little messed up, but we're not all messed up the same way. What I have inside me is an angry critic. There's always some acerbic remark or complaint on the tip of my tongue. I was easily offended, and a couple times I really hurt somepony without meaning to. And not as a filly, I'm talkin' a couple years ago. You remember Sparkler, the young mare who rounded up all those cards for you? It was her mother who trained me to look at the bright side of things and not get hung up on what doesn't matter."

"So my counselor has a counselor?" Rose asked.

Carrot Top chuckled. "No, but Derpy's like a sister to me. We help each other...just as I'm sure I'll need your help some day. So back to happiness. Things are looking up for you right now, but what if this was as far as you got? It's good to have hopes and dreams, but what if those don't happen?"

Rose pulled up the last of the baby carrots. "Is that really something to think about? I'm trying not to be fearful of bad things happening."

Carrot Top hitched up a wagon with the buckets of baby carrots inside, and she and Rose started back. "There's another side to that," she said. "There's a difference between a general optimism and hitching your hope to something that could fall apart on you."

"Been there," Rose commented.

Carrot Top continued. "So yeah, you can move forward with confidence, but do you have a peace about you that's not yoked to your success? Say the worst happens; would you want to carry on, or are you back to where you were a month ago?"

Rose halted, closed her eyes, and thought. She wanted to give an honest response. "I...can't answer right away. I'll talk through it with my friends. They sometimes see things in me that I don't. But can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"There are so many lessons to learn here, it's hard to keep it all straight. Does everypony live so...deliberately?"

Carrot Top smiled. "As sure as hay not. There's a handful of natural thinkers out there, but once we grow up most of us don't ask ourselves these questions until we get in trouble and wonder how we got there. Now I'm not saying intellectuals are any better, 'cause it's possible to think and think wrong. But that old philosopher Clover the Clever used to talk about the perils of an unexamined life. And you're examining, so that puts you in good shape."

Rose returned home for a late supper with Lily and Daisy, and they talked about Carrot Top's contentment question. As she expected, they both had different takes on the issue.

Using her business sense, Lily had her whole life mapped out, literally. She showed Rose a diagram like a family tree, with separate branches for every major contingency. She already knew what she would do if she got married, or caught a terminal illness, or found a foal on her doorstep. There were even a few outlandish possibilities, like waking up as a dragon or being banished from Equestria. "I'm happy if I know what to do," she explained. "You're the same way, Rose; you're after certainty. So maybe planning and preparing gets you the answer you're looking for."

To the contrary, having read numerous theories on the subject and disagreeing with all of them, Daisy had simply decided early on to be happy. Aside from reflexes of panic or fear, her disposition was one of her own choosing. "So like Lily, I'm happy regardless of what happens," Daisy said, "but I haven't done all that work. I just sort of float along."

"You don't make up crisis management as you go along," Lily cautioned.

"Right," said Daisy, "but I want my joy to be independent of the crisis. Part of being prepared is being prepared for things to change. So go ahead and plan, and if something doesn't work, maybe try again or try something else, but determine for yourself that you'll accept anything that's out of your hooves. It's called serenity."

In a flash of insight, Rose had her answer. "In my dream at the hospital, I heard a voice say, 'Stay and smile again.' And so long as you two are here to give me the strength to smile again, I'll be okay. I'll still have that future to look forward to. Lily, you'll have a plan for what to do, and Daisy, you'll be here to lift my spirits. We'll carry on together."

"You made my day," Lily said with a grin. "But now let's talk about those hopes and dreams of yours. If we aim for the best-case scenario, we just might hit it."

***

It was a month later, and Rose's parents were just concluding a short visit to Ponyville. "Thank you so much for your hospitality," Gallica told Lily and Daisy.

"You're always welcome," Daisy said. "Have a safe trip back."

"And Rose," Gallica said. "I know your work is keeping you busy, but is there any way you can come up to see us for the next visit?"

"I promise," Rose said.

As Rose's parents boarded their train, Lily smiled at Rose. "Daisy and I would like to treat you to an evening at Sugarcube Corner."

Rose let out a laugh. "Really? What's the occasion?"

"The sixtieth day of your new life," Daisy said, "and something I'd like to propose later."

"I'd be delighted," Rose said.

Carrot Top joined them that evening, and together they tasted some experimental desserts that Mr. and Mrs. Cake hoped to introduce at the bakery. As the night wound down, Carrot Top left first, allowing the three flower ponies to talk business.

"I just finished the monthly books," Daisy said, "and figures are still up for all of us, so I have an idea. Since we've been living together we've been pooling our take-home money for rent while still operating independently. Why don't we go the whole way and merge together into one flower shop?"

"Can we afford it?" Lily asked.

Daisy was quick with her answer. "I've already run the numbers. We have the capital right now, and in the long run, it would actually be less expensive for us to be one company. It'll also give us more protection when we hit a downturn. In fact, if things continue to grow as they have, we could even move into our own building in a couple years."

Lily turned to Rose. "What do you think?"

Rose nodded. "It's a great idea, something we've all wanted. But...I have one condition."

"What's that?" Lily asked.

Rose's ears drooped as she answered. She didn't like calling her friends out after such a happy evening. "There have been a few times now where I've been out of the loop on decisions that affected me personally. Your intentions have always been good, and I'm touched that you're so eager to do things for me. But I'd rather you do them with me. I want to be sure I'm included in any decisions about our business. And I'd like it to be in writing, please."

Lily and Daisy shared a hurt look. "Sure," Lily said.

"Of course," Daisy added. "And I'm sorry we haven't sought your opinion. I won't try to excuse it anymore."

Rose smiled briefly, but a second later she gnashed her teeth and pounded her hoof on the table. "Oh, but what about my debt? I've had enough of a boom to get most of the personal stuff paid off, but if we merge, won't my business debts become yours?"

Daisy blushed. "Oh, horse apples, I forgot about that. You're right, we probably don't have enough to pay that down right away, and that could run us into legal problems with the merger. Lily, what's the name of that attorney?"

"Fine Print," Lily said, "earth pony who's friends with the mayor. I've consulted with him a couple times. Rose, I asked him about debt issues when I first got started, and he said Equestrian law doesn't offer much protection besides bankruptcy, and that would derail any plans we'd have. I'm afraid it'll be up to you to negotiate with your creditors and see what you can work out. But I'm sure he'd be glad to help."

Daisy cringed. "Lawyers and creditors can be pretty heavy-duty stuff. Do you think you're up to it?"

Rose took a deep breath and let it out. "I need to get a payment plan straightened out anyway. Here's one thing I've learned recently: The more truth and grace I provide, the more reasonable other ponies are. And I'll have Fine Print to help me with the details. Don't worry, girls. I won't let us down."

***

Rose met with Fine Print the next day, and a meeting with her creditors was scheduled for Friday at noon. That day at the steps of the town hall, her friends encouraged her.

"Just remember," Lily said, "those ponies in there don't see this as a personal thing. Your debt is money that belongs to them, and they'd rather you be able to pay it than not. It's purely a business transaction. But business still works best when it's friendly."

Inside, Fine Print led Rose into a conference room with a large, round table where representatives of three companies were seated with their lawyers. In her head, Rose ruminated on Lily's definition of courage. A moderator from the town council opened the meeting.

"I want to thank you for agreeing to meet with me," Rose began. "And I am very pleased with the services you have provided for me and my business. I would like to discuss a consolidated payment plan to be distributed in a way that will be fair to each of you and overseen by a trustee appointed by the town council. This is not a bankruptcy proceeding since I will be paying the entirety of the debt owed to you. I have provided your attorneys with a record of my business's net earnings, along with projections for the near future..."

One week later, Daisy, Lily, and Rose put their signatures to the agreement that Fine Print and the creditors' lawyers had drawn up following the meeting.

"Rose, this is wonderful," Daisy said. "Things will be a little tight, but we can merge in two months and be free of debt four months after that."

Lily gave a celebratory whinny of her own, and then added, "And I'll make it my goal to get us one really large order this season to put us over the top. Rose, you did good. I'm proud of you."

Rose could have sworn she could physically feel the weight of a year's financial burdens being lifted from her shoulders. She wiped her moistening eyes and smiled at how far she had come.

Chapter 5

Summer was in its final weeks, and Roseluck was now co-owner of Ponyville in Bloom, along with Lily and Daisy. As front salespony, she would be the face of the business and handle inventory while Lily served as manager and Daisy kept the books and used her many town contacts to promote the new flower shop.

One night at dinner, Lily and Daisy chatted happily about work as Rose played quietly with her food. Lily was first to notice. "Something bothering you, hon?"

"Not really, just thinking," Rose said. "I should make more friends. I mean, you two are great and I love us living and working together, but don't you think having only two friends is a little...limiting? I mean, Daisy, you hang out with other ponies and it hasn't caused us to drift apart or anything."

"Well sure, Rose. Go right ahead. You don't need our permission," Daisy said.

Lily gave Rose a nod. "You could use a little variety. You said before you shouldn't rest all your happiness on one or two ponies. You can always have friends no matter what happens to us. In fact, I should probably get out there more myself. Got anypony in mind?"

"Well," Rose said, "Sassaflash seems cheery, and she and Caramel get things for each other all the time, so I already know them from the market."

"They're both really nice," Daisy said. "They used to trot around with a couple who moved all the way to Vanhoover, so they may welcome a new friend or two to spend time with."

Lily noticed Cherry Berry passing by the window. "How about Cherry Berry? She's got the most delightful smile, and I see her around Ponyville all the time."

"The one with the balloon?" Rose asked. "That could be fun. Why, there are all sorts of things we could do together, all of us."

Daisy tapped her hoof to count the suggestions. "So, we expand our little circle from three ponies to six. I like it, and it'll do something to make our free time special so we're not just talking shop the whole time."

Rose looked at Daisy and Lily in turn. "Thank you both for supporting my idea. You know, it'll also give me more ponies to depend on and invest in. If there's ever a time the two of you can't be there, or you need help I can't provide, there will be others to lean on."

Rose spoke to Sassaflash and Caramel the next day, and Lily found Cherry Berry during lunch. The six new friends had dinner together that night at the café. Fun times ensued as they spoke of flower shows, rodeos, and a love of the skies that Cherry Berry and Sassaflash shared. Within a week, Rose's new circle of friends had also met at Sugarcube Corner and received a tour of the flower shop's expanded gardens.

One day at lunch, Cherry Berry said, "Rose, I remember hearing you were in the hospital some time back."

Daisy gave Cherry Berry a sharp nudge and a glare. She retreated. "Um, not that it's any of our business, and a pony would never know it by looking at you."

"It's okay," Rose said. "I know I was the talk of the town a few months back. I'm sure you're curious, and I don't want to keep secrets. I had a bad breakup and some other problems all at once, and I went through a time of depression. For a while I felt like I didn't have anything to live for. But I've come a long way since then."

"And we're proud of you for that," Lily said.

"So what are you living for now, if I may ask?" said Caramel.

"That's still sort of undefined," Rose replied, "but I've learned to be content with my work, my friends, and my family. That reminds me, I'll be visiting my parents in Hollow Shades the same weekend you and Sassy are going up to Fillydelphia. We could take the same train and you could meet them when they come to the station."

"Let's do that," Sassaflash said.

***

A week later, the Friendship Express came to its stop in Hollow Shades, and Roseluck stepped out with Sassaflash and Caramel behind her. Rose took in the familiar scent of the air and looked out at the town, colored by its characteristically purple roofs and surrounded by lush forest. To the southwest in the direction of Ponyville, Foal Mountain formed a backdrop to the scene. Caramel seemed especially taken with the sight.

Rose spotted her parents among the ponies waiting to greet the passengers. "Mom, Dad, I'd like to introduce two of my friends, Sassaflash and Caramel."

"Hello there," Rose's mother said. "I'm Gallica, and this is my husband Topline." Rose's friends returned the greeting. "Now will you be staying with us?" Gallica asked.

Sassaflash shook her head. "No, but thank you. We're taking a short trip to Fillydelphia, and this stop was on the way. Your daughter really is a delight to know." She subtly nudged Caramel, who was still distracted by the surrounding woods, and he quickly voiced his agreement.

The conductor called out, "All aboard! Next stop, Fillydelphia!"

"We'd better get back to the train," Sassaflash said. "It was nice to meet you." Rose's friends re-boarded, leaving her alone with her parents.

"Where would you like to go for dinner?" Rose's father asked.

"Home," Rose said. Her mother responded with the tightest hug a pony could manage.

Over dinner, Rose's parents caught her up on events in Hollow Shades. "Really, there's not much else to tell," her mother concluded. "You told us about your business in your last couple letters, but I'd like to hear more about your recovery. I've seen you happy, but not this...comfortable. Not since you were a filly. You've changed."

"You've grown," her father said. "I know I can't take any credit for it, but I've never been prouder."

"A lot's happened, and I owe it all to my friends," Rose said. "They're helping me find the questions and answers I needed. I'm not living an unexamined life anymore."

Gallica raised an eyebrow. "An unexamined life?"

Rose chuckled. "It's something Carrot Top talked about. I can tell you some of it tonight, and the rest tomorrow while we're out doing things."

"And what would you like to do?" her father asked.

Rose smiled. "How about a carriage ride?"

***

"Could you sign here, please?" Rose overhead a mail pony say. She looked up from the poem she'd been writing in her bedroom. It had been a quiet morning: She had only been back in town a day, and most of the ponies in town were at home, awaiting a particularly severe scheduled storm.

The next voice she heard came about a minute later. It was Daisy's: "Why, that ridgling colt-cribber!"

"Daisy, language!" Lily said.

Daisy's shouting continued. "I'll give him a taste of my rear hooves!"

Rose galloped down the stairs. "What's wrong?"

Daisy showed her the body of the letter:

Sunburst of Appleloosa, formerly of Ponyville, and Lady Slipper of Appleloosa, formerly of Manehattan, have joined to bring suit against Roseluck, Lily Valley, and Daisy Wishes of Ponyville, proprietors of the flower shop Ponyville In Bloom. Sunburst and Lady Slipper are private figures and are neither public figures nor public officials.

Plaintiffs claim that on April 9 of this year, statements were made to numerous residents of Ponyville that were intentionally calculated to be, and were in fact, taken by the residents as affirmative statements that Plaintiff Sunburst was guilty of physical domestic abuse against Defendant Roseluck. Plaintiffs assert that these statements are false and defamatory, and as originally uttered, they constitute slander, in consequence of which Plaintiff Sunburst was denied service by multiple businesses and was forced to relocate his residence to another town.

Plaintiffs will provide evidence that these statements were made with intent to prevent Ponyflora, Inc. from becoming a business competitor, inasmuch as the business is owned by Plaintiff Lady Slipper, who is soon to be married to Plaintiff Sunburst, who also serves as Ponyflora's Vice President of New Business. If it is demonstrated that Defendants have thereby caused substantial material harm to the Plaintiffs, it shall constitute criminal defamation and this civil suit will convert to a criminal case.

You are hereby summoned and required to serve upon Tux & Tails, Plaintiff's Attorney, an answer to the complaint that is hereby served upon you, within twenty days after service is received by you.

Chapter 6

Roseluck lay down in shock. "Well, this is horrible. Just horrible."

Lily looked over the letter a second time. "S-so your, your...," she began shakily. She cleared her throat and steadied her voice. "So his other mare is head of one of the largest flower companies in all of Equestria? But dear, you had no way of knowing."

"I had no idea," Rose whimpered. "He just said she was somepony I didn't know who lived in Appleloosa."

"And the company thinks we drove him out of town to keep them from setting up shop here," Lily said.

"He knows what he didn't tell her," Daisy said through gritted teeth. "This is good old-fashioned revenge. And Vice President? I wonder how he got there so fast. I'm sure his love for Lady Slipper is totally selfless."

Rose looked through the letter again. "What do they mean by 'criminal'? We're not going to be arrested, are we?"

Lily answered. "I wouldn't worry about that. Slander's a civil matter, one pony suing another. It's only recently that the courts even deal with that. In Equestrian law, the judge is basically an arbitrator to provide a fair resolution. It's up to each side to make up their own case. In principle, I hate that lawyers get brought into it, but in our situation that will definitely be helpful. Now, if they could somehow prove we spread lies specifically to shutdown their business as some kind of hardball strategy, that's a crime. I'm sure that's what they're getting at with this letter, but we know there's no such proof. Besides, if they had any, they wouldn't be suing us first."

Rose deliberately kept her eyes off Daisy as she spoke. "But what do we do about this? The slander part of that letter is true...sort of. And we did want him out of town."

"Well, not so fast," Lily said. "Let's keep a lid on our assumptions and motivations. The facts of the case, as far as the court's concerned, will be whatever Ponyflora can prove, plus whatever we stipulate to."

"But we don't dare do anything other than be honest," Rose warned. "Everypony knows what happened."

"Correction," Lily said. "What everypony knows is their own little piece of it. It's up to us to put it all together. Of course we'll be honest, but we have to find out what's going on. Rose, talk to your new friends and anypony else you care to, and find out exactly what they heard. And don't worry about keeping the suit a secret. It won't be for long, and the other side is probably already out looking for witnesses. But be careful not to tell anypony not to testify, or if this case turns criminal, we could be charged with obstruction. Just find out what they knew."

Lily turned to Daisy. "Daisy, get with Fine Print about this. A lot of the focus will be on the exact words you used and who you said them to. I'll dig into Ponyflora and see if they have a history of shutting down competitors with lawsuits. If so, we may be able to get this written off as frivolous."

The three ponies sprang into action at once. Lily left first, headed for the Town Hall archives. Rose quickly arranged dinner with Cherry Berry, Sassaflash, and Caramel. At supper, Daisy reported that she'd spotted Fine Print with the mayor and made an appointment with him for the next day.

The following night, they discussed their findings and weighed their options. "From all I can tell, Ponyflora operates pretty squarely, no other suits." Lily said. "That Lady Slipper is a hard worker. Her company ran a heavy track at the start, but she kept going. It seems she tends to let her personal life control her business decisions, though. Outside of major cities, every store they've opened up has been in a town where she has family. Her parents retired to Appleloosa three years ago and she moved corporate down there. She must've had her eye on Ponyville because of Sunburst." Lily looked in Rose's direction. "My guess is he was stringing you along as backup until he got a proposal or a VP slot, and he ended up with both."

"I was a side dish," Rose said bitterly.

"So what'd you find out?" Lily said.

Rose gathered herself. "Cherry Berry heard that Sunny put me in the hospital; she doesn't recall who told her. Sassaflash only heard that he dumped me. She got that from Dizzy Twister. Caramel didn't hear anything at all, or if he did he doesn't remember. A couple other ponies I talked to heard I was mistreated, but they didn't assume it was physical." Rose smirked. "They still thought he was scum, though."

Lily was taking notes. "This is good news. Let's get Fine Print a list of ponies who heard things right, and wait for his clearance before talking to anypony else. We don't want to overstep here. Daisy, how did things go?"

Sullen, Daisy sat at the far end of the table. "Based on what I told Bon Bon, it'll be up to the judge. Rose, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I've doomed our new business, and what if this turns criminal?"

Rose got up to comfort Daisy. "That's only one possibility. We're still at the very beginning of this."

Daisy took a couple deep breaths in and out to compose herself. "It wasn't a calculated accusation. I meant it to be ambiguous but here's why: Rose, we knew you were depressed and that you were hiding things from us. When I talked to Bon Bon, it was just the day after you told us your story. What you'd said just didn't seem like enough to me. I wasn't sure, but I suspected he might have done something terrible. I didn't want to say too much, but I knew I had to get him as far from you as I could." She began to break down again.

Rose nuzzled Daisy's neck. "Daisy, if you hadn't done what you did, Ponyflora would have set up shop here, and he'd have found a way to put us all out of business anyway."

"Daisy," Lily said gently, "I know this is hard, but it'll help us out here. What, precisely, was said when you talked with Bon Bon?"

Daisy looked up. "I thanked her for her card and for coming to the party. I told her Rose really appreciated it. Then she said, 'I need to tell you, in case it comes up later, that I saw Rose with...him...going into his house the night before you took her in. Are they going out?' I said, 'Not anymore. You should have heard what he said to her.' Then she asked, 'He didn't hurt her, did he?' My answer was, 'Yes, I'd never seen her so upset.'"

Daisy turned to Rose as her story continued: "I started to say, 'When we saw her...' I was thinking of how you looked when you overdosed, but I knew that was inappropriate so I told her, 'I probably shouldn't say any more, but I don't think she'll be safe until he's gone.' I forget what name she called him after that, and that was it."

A beat passed, and then Lily spoke. "Rose, forgive me for asking, but if there's anything you haven't told us, now's the time. We'll believe your answer either way. Did he ever? That night or ever before?"

Rose's answer was firm. "No. I almost wish I could say he did, but no." Rose knew her answer didn't help their case, but she saw immediate expression of relief on Daisy's and Lily's faces.

A hug or two later, Lily composed herself and looked through her notes. "Fine Print isn't cheap, so we need to make the best use of his time. Let's all meet with him tomorrow. First, we need to make sure this stays in Ponyville, no changes of venue. Second, I'd like to get the hearing moved up as soon as possible. Ponyflora has plenty of money, we don't, so it's to their advantage to drag this out. And I want to call their bluff. They say they already have evidence; let's see it. Daisy and Rose, each of you put together a written statement for the court of what happened from your perspective. Recall exact words if you can. And we'll have Fine Print look them over."

Rose asked Lily, "What's our best outcome here?"

"I'm not worried about myself, since I was out of the loop on this. But I'd like to see you and Daisy publicly exonerated. Thing is, that would mean going through the whole process, which is beyond our resources."

"That's okay. Everypony who matters already knows the truth," Rose said.

Lily continued. "A settlement's out of the question. Sunb..., uh, the Plaintiff, won't be happy with anything that would let our business survive. So we'll want to get the charges dismissed somehow. But that depends on what evidence Ponyflora thinks they have."

"And we'll get that right away, won't we?" Rose asked.

"Probably not. It's considered good form, but in a civil case, discovery's not required until the first hearing. That's a holdover from the days when this was done through informal arbitration. But don't worry. If we can't get the case dismissed, we'll still have plenty of time to look over whatever they have."

At the meeting, Fine Print was amenable to Lily's suggestions and helped all three ponies put together honest but presentable affidavits for the court. In the days that followed, a few statements arrived from Ponyflora's lawyer, along with some newspaper articles, but nothing of substance. "That's a good omen," Fine Print said, "but we need to be prepared for anything."

***

The hearing came three weeks later. Sassaflash and Caramel met the three flower ponies outside the courtroom. Rose's face brightened when they arrived. "I'm glad you're here," she said.

"And we'll be here no matter what happens," Caramel replied. He watched Daisy slip into the courtroom. "You know I don't agree with everything that happened," he said, nodding toward where Daisy had been standing. "But none of you deserve to be persecuted like this."

"Thanks," Rose said. Her eyes searched the lobby. "Where's Cherry Berry?" she asked. "She said she'd be here."

Sassaflash gave an apologetic look. "She gets really uncomfortable in these situations. She told me she's not strong like you. I'm sure she's here in spirit." The pegasus reached up and patted Rose's mane. "But look at you. You're smiling."

Rose replied, "I know everything's going to be alright."

"Don't assume," Lily warned. "This is all up to the judge, and there could be a stunt or two pulled. It could all be over in an hour, or we could be in for the long haul."

Rose was unfazed. "I don't know what will happen, but I know I won't be alone."

Inside the courtroom, Rose got her first look at Lady Slipper, a tall and slender white unicorn with a silvery blue mane and tail. Her elegance was a sharp contrast to her burly orange earth pony consort. Rose felt an odd stir of emotion. What? Do I...miss him? At the very moment he's trying to destroy me? She reached over and put her hoof over Lily's for comfort. To her surprise, she could feel Lily trembling slightly. Lily met her eye and whispered, "Thank you."

Ponyflora's lawyer Tux & Tails spoke long and loud about the evils of slander and Ponyville's pattern of town-wide panics and misjudgments. He walked the court through the timing of the breakup, and the announcement in Appleloosa of Sunburst's appointment as VP. An article in Appleloosa's local paper had speculated that Ponyflora might have its eye on Ponyville a week before Sunburst's forced move. The lawyer asserted that the ponies' merger indicated a plan to monopolize the town's flower sales in the same way Sweet Apple Acres dominated Ponyville's apple market.

When Fine Print's turn came, he looked toward the bench as he began. "Your Honor, as you are well aware, this is the Honorable Court of Ponyville." He then directed his gaze to the plaintiffs' attorney. "And we have heard, at length, an outsider from Manehattan express his contempt for our fair town. Word spreads quickly here because we all know one another. Threats to the town are taken seriously because we care for one another. Ponyville collectively rose up to protect one of its citizens from a threat. I refer the court to Roseluck's written statement, in which you will find that Sunburst did indeed pose a threat to her. Though not physically abusive, an allegation that was never made or consciously implied by the defendants, his manipulation threatened her physical safety. You will find in the affidavit belonging to Daisy Wishes a statement that this was his pattern, and that he was known to hold grudges and, whenever he felt slighted, to seek payback."

"Objection," Tux countered.

Judge Gavel agreed. "Mr. Fine Print, please use caution in your words. The court takes it as a given that this case was brought in good faith."

Fine Print backpedaled a little. "We certainly do not wish to suggest that payback has anything to do with the case now before the court. But a reasonable fear of payback is what drove Miss Daisy's actions on the ninth of April. Again we refer to the affidavits as to the precise words she used in expressing her concern to a caring friend. This was not a business matter, and none of the defendants had any knowledge of Sunburst's connection to Ponyflora. This was, again, a matter of concern for a friend's personal safety. We have witnesses willing to testify as to what they heard that day, and to support the good character of the defendants."

Fine Print turned back to Tux & Tails. "What we have not heard today is the evidence the plaintiffs promised to provide that the owners of Ponyville In Bloom acted with intent to shut out a competitor, or that there was any reckless disregard for the truth in statements that Roseluck was hurt by Sunburst's deplorable actions. Out of respect for the court's time, I move that this case be dismissed for lack of evidence on the part of the plaintiffs."

Judge Gavel questioned Tux & Tails. "Thus far your case is entirely circumstance and hearsay. Do the plaintiffs have any evidence other than the timeline of events, and the affair the plaintiffs had behind the defendant's back, to indicate the intent behind Miss Daisy's statements?"

Tux spoke with resignation, "No, Your Honor."

"Do the plaintiffs have any evidence at all that Miss Roseluck or Miss Lily Valley had any involvement in the utterance or propagation of these statements?"

Tux replied, "No, Your Honor, but with more time to investigate..."

The judge cut him off. "You are not the police, Mr. Tux. This is a civil suit, and your original statement to the court said, 'The plaintiffs will provide evidence.' You have not."

Judge Gavel then turned to the defendants. "Ladies, you may go home happy today, but I advise greater caution in the future. This court makes no judgment about what you did or did not know, but the gossip you spread began already very close to an untruth and only got worse from there. This court takes a dim view of gossip and vigilante activity. Equestrian law holds ponies accountable when they harm others of poor character just as strictly as when they harm heroes. If your accusers could make their case, it may very well have cost you your company and possibly your freedom. As it stands, I hereby order this case dismissed without prejudice for lack of evidence."

Fine Print rose and was recognized. "Your honor, as you'll see in the motions, we have also requested that the court guarantee some distance be kept between the plaintiff Sunburst and my clients' affairs, in light of the unfair and adversarial action of bringing this unsubstantiated accusation against the owners of a fledgling business."

The unicorn judge levitated her gavel. "Indeed. Granted. I order Sunburst to have no further contact with Roseluck or any other owner of Ponyville In Bloom except with the court's permission, or you will face charges of harassment. This court is adjourned." The gavel fell.

It was all Rose and her friends could do to wait until they were outside the courtroom. Then they exchanged joyful congratulations and tears of relief.

***

Caramel caught Rose as she was leaving the courthouse. "There's a place Sass and I would like to show you, just the three of us." Rose accompanied her two friends through the alleys of an unfamiliar part of town. She quickly lost track of where she was. They had crossed a bridge at some point, so they were past the river. Soon she heard birds chirping and surmised she was nearing the edge of town, somewhere near the woods.

As they stepped out from between two buildings, the view suddenly opened up. Rose found herself at the top of a hill overlooking the woods just north of the Everfree Forest. "This is one of Caramel's favorite spots," Sassaflash said.

"It's breathtaking," Rose replied as she surveyed the sea of treetops. The leaves, blowing softly in the wind, were just beginning to turn their autumn colors, and the sight was framed by the brown stones of Rambling Rock Ridge in the distance. For an instant Rose caught sight of a red phoenix flying through the trees before it ascended into the sky and blended in with the setting sun.

"All this is alive," Caramel said. "This is what life looks like. It's good. And the trees and animals out there may not know it, but they're beautiful to us."

"Now just imagine the alternative," Sassaflash said. "What if all those trees were dead and bare, and the animals all gone?"

Rose immersed herself in her imagination. "A calamity. A valley of dreary nothingness. That's how I felt when I lost my aunt."

Sassaflash nodded. "And it's how we'd feel if we lost you. I never felt close enough to tell you when you were going through it, but I like to think of each pony's life as a story. In your story, you're the main character and only you see all the ups and downs. But if you were gone, it would be a tragedy in hundreds of ponies' stories all at once, even in those where you had only been in the background. A lot of ponies would never recover." Sassaflash then pointed out toward the valley. "Instead you offer us this."

"This is magnificent," Rose said. "How come I've never seen this view before?"

Caramel pointed behind them. "I don't know, you tell me," he said.

Rose turned around to see the back side of Ponyville Hospital. "It was right outside my window the whole time," she said to herself.

As they lay down in the grass to watch the sun set, Sassaflash put a foreleg around Rose. "It's no secret you're one of the most beautiful ponies around here," the pegasus said. "And I'm not just talking about the color of your mane. It's in your face when you smile. It's in your voice when you greet your friends on a sunny day. It's in the flowers you grow and the poems you write. You are a beauty factory for everypony in Ponyville."

Caramel smiled at Rose. "How's that for a definition?"

Her eyes still fixed on the trees, Rose saw the phoenix once again. "I'll take it."

***

The next day, Rose took her lunch time to visit Carrot Top. "I'd like to thank you for all you've taught me these last few months," she told her counselor. "But at this point, my support and my life lessons are coming from my friends, so I don't think I'll be needing sessions anymore."

"From what I hear in our little talks, I think you're ready," Carrot Top said. "So what's the latest thing they've taught you?"

"That life itself is a thing of beauty. You told me once that I could use my need for assurance and hope to help other ponies. If I can remind them of that beauty through my flowers, or by anything I do, they can find hope in that, and so can I."

Carrot Top smiled. "Okay, now I'm learning from you. Y'know, if more ponies had friends like yours, I suppose there wouldn't be much need for counselors."

"To me, you've been both," Rose said. "And you always will be."

***

Rose was waiting at the front desk of Ponyville Hospital as Dr. Hardy Spirit came down from the third floor. "How can I help you?" he said.

"I don't know if you remember me," Rose began, "but thank you for the advice you gave when I was here six months ago for depression."

Dr. Hardy looked her over for a second. "Yes, I remember you. You're quite welcome. I don't often get patients returning just to say thanks. Was there anything in particular?"

"You got me asking questions I hadn't thought about before. Everypony had different answers, but just thinking about how I live has helped me. I'm happy now."

The doctor gave a genuine smile. "That means a lot," he said. "But if I remember one thing about you, it's that there's more to you than meets the eye. Did you want to ask something?"

"Actually yes," Rose said. "First, if you ever need a volunteer to speak to the patients, so that they can hear encouragement from somepony who's shared their struggles, I'd really like to. They're the ponies nopony thinks about, but there are some things I can say that may give them hope."

"We're always looking for speakers," Dr. Hardy said. "The long-term patients tire of hearing me and the nurses all the time, and a real-life success story is always uplifting."

Rose's heart raced as she realized she was fulfilling her purpose. "Also, our flower shop has been looking for a way to show beauty to those who most need to see it. We'd like to keep the psychiatric ward supplied with flowers for decoration, and maybe put up a few poems, with new ones taking their place every so often."

Rose saw the doctor's eyes quiver as he answered. "I'll set up an appointment with the hospital staff. This is truly a wonderful offer. Thank you...thank you."

As he left to retrieve the appropriate paperwork, Rose thought back to her conversation on the overlook behind the hospital. "They're beautiful to us," she repeated.