Barn of the Pus Pony

Three police charged into the kitchen barn just as the commotion was dying down. Inside they were momentarily stunned by a loud trumpet blast. Regaining their composure, they shone their lights into the barn and caught movement—some thing, definitely not a pony, shuffling through the shallow hole. One of the officers ran out to try to catch whatever it was around back, while the other two surveyed the room.

Most of the room was still and in order, except for the spot where the scientist had been, and a small table that had been knocked over. Near the back they were startled by the sight of a pony costume. They began gathering it up as evidence as a medical team moved in to scrape up Gizmo.

Applejack and Rarity arrived a short time later, having grabbed a snack from the farmhouse on the way. Ponies were coming out of the barn carrying large buckets. The police chief explained, "I'm afraid there wasn't much left of him."

Rarity whispered to Applejack, "If you ask me, there wasn't much to begin with."

The chief offered Rarity her scarf back, but it didn't look salvageable and she simply shook her head.

The two police who had sighted the creature came out last, carrying the costume. Applejack responded, "So it wasn't a pony after all?"

The officer carrying the body of the costume showed the interior. "You see all the padding, and these extensions in the legs? Whatever was inside couldn't be much bigger than a large dog."

Applejack immediately regretted dismissing the hole in the back of the barn as one of Wynona's ventures. "So what do we look for now?"

"It was quick, that's all we could tell. You want us to seal this place up and stand guard?"

"Naw, just mark it off. If it considers this its home and can't get in, it'll just find someplace else, and who knows where that'll be? I'll make sure the farmhouse is shut up tight and keep everypony away from these sheds. My family and I will figure out how to deal with it tomorrow."

The chief nodded and the police eventually dispersed, leaving a yellow tape around the entire set of storage and equipment barns. The Apples returned to the farmhouse for dinner with Rarity and Sweetie Belle.

***

An hour later, at the edge of town, Rarity and Sweetie Belle parted ways as Rarity retired to the boutique and Sweetie Belle started back to her parents' house. As soon as Rarity was out of sight, Sweetie Belle turned around and quickly trotted back to Sweet Apple Acres. At the trellis entrance she looked around and whispered. "Psst! Scootaloo, are you there?"

To her left, her pegasus friend poked her head out from a setting of flowers in an old brass bathtub. "I'm here and I'm ready."

"Were you able to get into the library?"

"No. The trees are close enough I could probably get on the balcony, but Twilight's owl was up there. If we want in we'll have to be there in the daytime."

Sweetie Belle helped Scootaloo out of the flowers and they started toward the barns. She noticed the farmhouse lights were out. "At dinner, Applejack invited Apple Bloom to sleep in her room tonight. Wynona's in there, too. Looks like they've all already gone to bed. Oh, and the pus pony's not a pony," she said. "It's some kind of animal."

"Well, that just makes it easier to deal with."

Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "You really think so? Some animals are dangerous, and they can't be reasoned with. I can't even 'deal' with Opal if she's in a bad mood."

Scootaloo gestured toward the farmhouse. "Look, whatever it is, we have to protect Apple Bloom. Remember when we first stood up for her? Being a Cutie Mark Crusader isn't just about getting cutie marks, it's about being there for each other."

They stepped over the police tape and crept to the door of the kitchen barn. Like every other time they'd seen it, the door was cracked open just a few inches. "Light your horn up like you did before. I'll be right behind you," Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle took one step toward the door and hesitated. "Scootaloo, I didn't want to say anything before. Normally I wouldn't ever. But you've got a couple pimples of your own. I mean, they're hard for a pony to notice, but that thing can probably tell."

"Yeah, I know, but this is for Apple Bloom. And remember, whatever happens, no screaming. We'll get more than a lecture if Applejack finds us out here."

"Okay." The little unicorn creaked the door open but stopped again.

"Scootaloo? What if it bites me?"

"It won't. It's only interested in pus, and you don't have any sores."

"But what about you?"

"That's why you're going first."

Sweetie Belle sighed and stepped through the doorway. She squinted in concentration and charged up her horn, providing a small bit of light. The two fillies walked together to the empty half of the barn, away from the tables. At the edge of the light, they saw what looked like a large piece of blue shag carpet on the ground, about the size of Wynona. At the edges of the body were four limbs that sat on the ground limply like rag dolls. The whole thing was covered with what looked like a cross between fur and feathers.

As the creature lifted its head, the two fillies gasped. Two colorless eyes, like dotted ping-pong balls, sat atop an egg-shaped head, from which extended a long tentacular snout that matched the description of the tongue Apple Bloom had described. Without the pony costume, the snout resembled a crooked nose and had a normal-looking mouth underneath.

Suddenly the creature skittered toward Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo stepped in between them and the creature stopped just as quickly. It looked Scootaloo over, chittering curiously. "Scootaloo, get out of here," Sweetie Belle whispered through gritted teeth.

"It's not doing anything," Scootaloo replied.

The creature darted to the left and then to the right, trying to get past Scootaloo, but the pegasus was quick enough to stay between it and her friend. Finally, the creature let out an eerie hoot and spat out a dark brown substance at Sweetie Belle. About the same consistency as maple syrup, it landed on her muzzle and stuck to her.

The creature's yellow-green eyelids lowered and it assumed a stance that indicated it was not going to be moved from its spot. Scootaloo looked at Sweetie Belle, wiped the sappy substance off her face, and said, "I have an idea. We just need somepony who knows animals."

***

The next morning as the sun rose, Applejack and Big McIntosh finished their chores early and went out to catch up on apple bucking before resuming their search. Once they were safely out of sight, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle returned to the farm with Fluttershy in tow, having filled her in on the story.

The yellow pegasus stopped just outside the police tape. "I think I can help, if it's what I think it is. But if Applejack and the others know about it, why are we sneaking around?"

Scootaloo replied, "She'd have a fit if she found out we went in there last night after all that's happened. AJ doesn't usually want fillies goin' around these old sheds anyway."

"Oh believe me, I totally understand," Fluttershy said.

Scootaloo buzzed her wings as she prepared herself to enter the barn again. "So anyway, the pus pony, I mean, the whatever...attacked Sweetie Belle last night but didn't want to hurt me, even though I have pimples and she doesn't. So I'll see how close I can get to it while you and Sweetie Belle try to catch it if it goes out the back."

Flashlight ready, Scootaloo stepped into the barn as the others took their places around back. Sure enough, the weird blue creature was inside. It and the pegasus approached each other, no more than a few inches at a time, until they were face to face. Neither made a threatening move, and neither broke eye contact. The creature's snout twitched as it sniffed out Scootaloo's recently popped pimples, and another beat passed. Scootaloo chose that moment to grab at the creature's body, and it lurched back with a loud cackle. Scootaloo called to Fluttershy as the creature shuffled into the shallow hole in the back wall. A few seconds later, she heard Fluttershy's voice, sweet and surprisingly calm. "Aha, just as I suspected. But you are a big one, aren't you?"

A short time later, Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom listened to Fluttershy and the two fillies as they told the story of the creature's capture, carefully edited to avoid mentioning anything that might get them into trouble. The blue animal sat on Fluttershy's lap, taking in the proceedings with a curious look. Wynona gave the creature an affectionate lick.

"He's technically known as a sore snacker," Fluttershy said. "They're usually a lot smaller, but the ones I've seen are furry leech-like parasites that live in the Everfree Forest. They can consume most bodily fluids but mostly live on blood serum and pus." She turned to address the creature. "And infected blisters are your favorite, aren't they?" The creature nodded enthusiastically and let out a purring sound. "Oh, and he says his name is Zoong."

Sweetie Belle was a bit confused—aghast, actually. "So, wait. This thing can talk? And there are more of 'em?"

Fluttershy said, "This one's special. He's never seen another one of his kind with his size or intelligence. He used to be part of a group of traveling entertainers years ago and somehow ended up in the Everfree. He came here because the forest wasn't giving him enough nourishment, and besides, he was lonely." She turned her eyes to Zoong with a look of sympathy. "But I told him that even though he's not a pony, he could probably find companionship here. He's going to try to be a productive member of society."

Applejack answered with pride, "Well, that sounds right honorable of you. Zoong, I wish you the best of luck."

"Eeyup," Big Mac nodded.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders all wore expressions of doubt and astonishment. Fluttershy looked to them for a response, and Apple Bloom finally spoke up. "Um, so does that mean you're helpin' him find a job and a place to live? In Ponyville? He's gonna be here forever?"

"That's right!" Fluttershy beamed. "He seems to know a lot about skin conditions and anatomy, so I'm taking him to Ponyville Hospital today to see if they could use a new intern."

***

Later that morning, Fluttershy walked in the main entrance of Ponyville Hospital with Zoong at her side. She went up to Nurse Tenderheart at the desk. "Um, excuse me, who might we talk to about employment?"

The nurse replied, "Nurse Redheart's in the urgent care center, but it's a slow day. You can probably speak with her for a minute."

There were only a few ponies in the urgent care waiting area. Fluttershy spotted Nurse Redheart as she came in from behind a curtain. "Nurse, if it's okay, I wanted to introduce Ponyville's newest resident. He's a sore snacker, and he'd like to know if there might be a place for him to possibly work here. He already knows a lot, but he's willing to take classes if necessary."

The nurse looked Zoong over for a minute. "Sore snacker, huh? We don't normally hire on the spot, and we're actually a bit heavy on staff at the moment. But you might check the nurse's office over at the school. They always need help, and the nurse there has overseen more discharges than a bankruptcy court. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check on a prolapsed patient."

"Will she be okay, nurse?" asked an aquamarine unicorn in the waiting room.

"Well, there's no edema, so in all likelihood..."

The nurse's voice faded as Fluttershy gathered Zoong up into a hug and they set off for the schoolhouse.

***

That evening, the Cutie Mark Crusaders gathered around a table at Sugarcube Corner with Fluttershy and Applejack, discussing the events of the past few days. "So Zoong is gonna be helpin' out the school nurse?" Apple Bloom asked.

Fluttershy smiled. "He starts Monday, and it sounds like the perfect place for him. He also mentioned that he adores mucus, so he's really looking forward to allergy season."

Unwanted images of what that would entail settled in Scootaloo's mind. Just then, two more friends, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, walked in the door. Pinkie Pie was just finishing a joke. "And then the bartender says to the pony with leprosy, 'It's not you, it's that pony behind you dipping his nachos in your stifle.'" They both laughed heartily and joined the group at the table.

"Hey, girls," Pinkie said. "I just talked to Miss Cheerilee about the new sore snacker they hired. She's inviting him to address her class next week. I can't wait to meet the little frackle."

Fluttershy nodded her head with pride. "Mm-hmm. I'll be translating for him."

Scootaloo whispered to Sweetie Belle, "I think I was more comfortable before we caught him."

Remembering the events of the previous night inspired Sweetie Belle to join the conversation, despite being appalled at the latest developments. "One thing I still don't understand. Why didn't Scootaloo get attacked?"

Fluttershy responded brightly. "Zoong says that Scootaloo reminds him of a dear friend of his named Camilla from before he came to the forest."

Rainbow Dash elbowed Scootaloo. "Whoa, talk about old friends who've just met. Looks like you've found yourself another pal to hang out with, squirt."

"Squirt," Pinkie Pie giggled.

Scootaloo looked up at Rainbow. "A pal? You've never met a sore snacker, have you?"

Rainbow answered with a wistful look, "Well, there was this one time. It didn't work out. But hey, don't let that worry you."

Pinkie jumped onto the table. "Well, this is all great news!" The adult ponies all voiced their agreement. The Crusaders' mouths just hung open. "And so tomorrow night we're all going to honor Zoong with a welcoming party!"

Applejack led the others in stomping the floor in applause, no one noticing that the Crusaders were thoroughly dejected.

"Besides," Pinkie added, "we need to do something with all this extra custard!"

(Closing credits)