Chapters Ponies Vs. Monsters: More Friendly Games
Author's Note: This is a sequel to my previous Pinkie Pie story Friendly Games , and while I wouldn't say it's a necessary read, I still encourage you to read it before this story.
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Unable to move, all you can do is stare at the sky while your heart pounds against your chest in panic. There was truly no turning back; either you would find glory or an early grave. Most likely the early grave.
In the few seconds you have left, you witness the magical barrier give one last glow before it finally dissipates completely. You vaguely hear somepony yell “Charge!” along with the sounds of a veritable army’s worth of hooves and screams rushing towards you. Before, you would have considered the impossibility of escape from them as the scariest thing you have ever felt. However, what moments of fear you would have felt from the masses charging towards you pales to the terror that grips your mind now.
“This is it!” yells the mare who had gotten you into this mess, “Are you ready!?”
“Not really!” you shout back as if you had a choice.
“Too late!” is the last thing you hear her say. Though you can’t see her, you can feel the pressure around you shift as she raises her hoof towards the sky...
...before bringing it down on the aptly-labelled “Party!” button.
*BOOM!*
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BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGG!
The infernal noise causes you to utter a tired and frustrated groan as you stir your sleepy limbs. In a rehearsed move that you have done in your sleep before by accident, you throw your foreleg out and force it down on the source of the purposely obnoxious racket. At once, the ringing stops, and the room falls into a heavenly silence.
Sighing to yourself, you let your limb slide off the alarm clock as you feel yourself falling back to a pleasant sleep. You briefly wonder why you ever set your alarm this early; you almost always go back to sleep anyway, instead preferring to officially get out of bed after having to hit the snooze button an extra two or three times. Now that you think of it, it also happens to be the weekend, which meant that you didn’t have to get up until later to go to work at the café anyway, and it’s not like you ever had anything special planned for…
…Oh, yeah, that’s right.
You smile a little bit as you force your eyes open and look at the clock. Sure enough, it reads a time you normally don’t consider yourself able to wake up at and wouldn’t even try to if this was any other day. Today, however, was different, for it had a special event that you wouldn’t dare try to sleep through.
Digging deep, you find the strength to throw the blankets off your bed and make your way into the bathroom to begin your morning rituals. Once there, you turn to open the medicine cabinet in your mirror to grab your brush, toothbrush, and toothpaste. With all of those items in hoof, you reach out and close the cabinet-
“Hi there!”
“GAAAAAAH!”
…and nearly have a heart attack at the sight of a smiling pink pony in the mirror.
Your toiletries go flying as you immediately spin around to confront the other pony in the room. Perhaps just as frighteningly, you don’t see her anywhere behind you, as if she was never there begin with.
Mental stability…Minus thirty…
You take the next few seconds to catch your breath while you lean on your sink. You’re definitely awake now, that’s for certain, but you still don’t know what to think. You don’t know what would be scarier: that you’re going insane, or that she actually was there…
“Over here, silly!”
Definitely the latter.
You turn your head to the direction of the voice, which happened to be in the doorway of your bathroom. Sure enough, there she is, only a couple feet away from you: Pinkie Pie, Ponyville’s primary party-planner and perpetually peppy pink pony.
“Pinkie…wha…how…” you try to talk, but this is all that comes out. You want to ask her a few questions, namely how she got into your flat and pulled off that mirror trick, but you’ve been caught too off-guard to form anything coherent.
“You ready for the big game today?” Pinkie cuts you off. Looks like you’re not getting those answers today. “I know I am! I’ve been waiting weeks for today! I know it was only announced about a month ago, but that was still a really long month! I even wore my official socks to bed! I still have them on, see!?”
She jabs a hoof almost straight into your face, and you finally notice the bright orange sock covering her leg up to the hock. The sock is adorned with a black target and the letters “PvM” written underneath, a logo you immediately recognize. You have a pair of socks just like these, kept in your drawers ever since buying them so you knew where they were for today.
“That’s…what I was getting ready for when you came in, yes,” you slowly reply.
“Really now?” asks Pinkie. “How are you preparing for it? Scope out the town? Get some jogging in? Drink a bunch of caffeine until time slows down and you can zip by in the blink of an eye like this?”
Before you can even think to get a word in, Pinkie turns and sprints around your flat at near super-sonic speeds, giggling like crazy while somehow not knocking a single thing over in the process. The sprint only lasts a few seconds, and soon Pinkie comes to an immediate stop right in front of you again, still carrying her same eager smile while making a quick “Meep meep!” sound.
“Uh…well, um…” you aren’t sure how to reply at her demonstration at first. “Um…well, I was going to start my preparations with a shower and a good teeth-brushing.”
“Huh?” Pinkie looks at you quizzically. “How’s fresh breath going to help you win this game?”
“Pinkie, I’ve only been awake for a couple minutes.”
“Really? I thought you’d be super-excited for this game. It’s, like, right up your alley! Your perfect cup of tea! It’s right up the alley where you buy your perfect cup of tea!”
“I am excited,” you reassure her, “I’m actually up a lot earlier than I would be on any day I don’t work. I just…” You pause for a second to take a much-needed yawn, “…need to get through my usual morning rituals first before I can worry about that.”
“Oooooh, gotcha,” Pinkie finally understands, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof. “Hee hee, sorry about that. I guess I showed up just a bit too early. My friends tell me that sometimes I get a little too excited for my own good, but I think it’s better to be too happy than not at all, don’t you think?”
“Erm…I guess so,” is all you can say back.
“Me too!” she cheerfully replies, “So I’ll just you let take care of your shower and stuff, and I’ll hang out here and think up a super-duper fool-proof game-winning strategy!”
“Sounds like a plan,” you say to her, “I’ll only be a few minutes. Go ahead and make yourself at home.”
“Will do!” Pinkie says as you shut the bathroom door.
With that dealt with, you decide that a good shower would help you relax a little from your surprisingly eventful morning. Turning on the showerhead, you step into your tub and get to scrubbing, letting your mind wander and your heart recover.
This certainly wasn’t the first time Pinkie had surprised you like this. Ever since that fateful day where she declared her friendship with you, your life has been filled with a myriad of wacky hi-jinks. As she had promised, Pinkie had made several attempts to get you out of your flat more often and make some new friends. You’ve lost count of how many parties you’ve been roped into, regardless of their pretense, to get you to talk and have a good time with the other citizens of Ponyville. She had even turned you over to her friend, the lavender-coated owner of the Ponyville Library, on a few occasions, borrowing some of her friendship reports and letting you read them in the hopes that you would be inspired.
Your progress so far has been...less than desired. While you had learned a thing or two about talking to others without looking dorky in the process, you had still yet to find a single pony outside of Pinkie who you would unquestionably consider to be your friend. It wasn’t all bad, though; the parties Pinkie threw were genuinely enjoyable, and you almost always ended up taking home most of the irresistible sweets and drinks that were available in spades.
Best of all, they allowed you to spend more time with the one pony you actually do call “friend.” Despite how inappropriate they may be at times, you had secretly grown to enjoy Pinkie’s random acts of zaniness and attempts to bring joy to others. You especially envied her seemingly endless source of energy and happiness as well. Sure, it sometimes got to be a little too much (like…well, like just now), but it was something you just found endearing. Her ability to keep a cheery attitude in the face of anything, no matter what danger she had to overcome or who she was talking to was admirable, to say the very least.
Maybe if I could somehow be more like that, you had found yourself thinking on more than one occasion. Who knows what would happen. Maybe I wouldn’t be so much of a shut-in. Maybe I could talk to other ponies without making a fool of myself. Maybe then she would…
Realizing where your thoughts are going, you immediately return your attention to getting yourself cleaned up and the rest of your morning duties taken care of. You knew where this daydream was going to lead, and there’s no way you could start thinking those kinds of thoughts with her only a few feet away. Besides, she only thinks of you as a friend…right?
…Maybe today will end up being like one of those really sappy stories, you quietly think as you shut off your showerhead and throw on your bathrobe, and we’ll end up kissing after something blows up in our face . You chuckle a little at the inanity of your imagination.
The rest of your morning rituals go without any real noteworthy moments, although you doubt anyone could make something as mundane as teeth-brushing exciting. Feeling confident enough to take on the world with your fresh breath and clean mane, you open the door and step out into your flat.
“I’m done Pinkie,” you call out to the mare in your house, “So how about that fool-proof plan?”
For a worrying reason, you don’t get a response right away.
“…Pinkie?” you nervously call out again. She could be at her most troublesome when nopony had any idea what she was up to…
…Do you hear a choir?
You finally get your answer as you remember the source of that heavenly music, and a thought of pure horror crosses into your mind. Unable to bear such a terrible prospect, you yell out the one thing you can in the hopes of stopping her from doing the unthinkable.
“PINKIE! NOT MY SAVE FILE!”
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“So…run this strategy by me one last time.”
“It’s simple!” says Pinkie, immediately whipping out a paper covered in squiggly shapes and arrows from…somewhere and using her hoof as a pointer. “When the game starts, we immediately execute Code Alpha and head to Checkpoint Bravo at flank speed, then afterwards we sneak at half-flank speed two clicks south of Checkpoint Charlie! Once we talk to Charlie, we’ll tag a few tangos, buy a few mangoes, and then camp out at Checkpoint Delta until about 1600 hours have passed, at which point we make a full sprint until we reach the extraction point and secure all the goods before all that’s left are the bads!”
“Um…are you sure you read the rules of the game right?” You ask, trying not to put too much thought into her so-called “plan.”
“Hmm…” Pinkie pauses to look at her map before opening her eyes in surprise. “Whoopsies! This is my plan to be first in line for this year’s Cider Season. I must’ve left the plans for the game back at your house by mistake.” With a quick flick of her hoof, she throws the map behind her and then rubs the back of her head again. “Do you think we have time to run back and get our plans real quick?”
“Doubt it,” you remark, “The game starts in a couple minutes, and we’re already close to the meeting point.”
True to your word, you and Pinkie were now out and about in Ponyville, on your way to the town plaza where the game would soon begin. After successfully preventing Pinkie from ruining your save file on The Legend of Celestia: Stoneward Discord , the two of you had enjoyed a nice gourmet breakfast of Clop-Tarts and root beer while she began laying out the groundwork for “Operation Pie Eater”. You didn’t bother to ask where she came up with the name.
“Heh heh, sorry. I guess I let my excitement get the better of me again,” apologizes Pinkie.
“That’s alright,” you say, giving her a reassuring smile. “I hear this game gets really crazy, so it might be better if we didn’t try to stick to a plan anyway.”
“Really?” Pinkie asks, “We’re just going to wing it?”
“Looks that way,” you reply, “and besides, I’m sure as long as we stick together, we can’t lose.”
“Together?” Pinkie asks as if she had never heard of the word before.
“As long as we’re on the same side,” you joke.
“That…sounds great!” shouts Pinkie, her bouncy attitude returning in a flash. “You know, sometimes it’s more fun to play something when you don’t go in with a plan! Makes it that much crazier and zanier and insanier and…hey look! There’s the plaza, and a whole buncha other ponies!”
Turning your head to look forward, you see that the two of you have indeed arrived at the game’s designated started point. To your surprise, you notice a crowd of ponies is already there, gathered near a public stage and clad in the same orange socks that you and Pinkie are sporting. You hadn’t quite expected this many players, but this new information only excites you further. The more, the merrier, as they always say.
As you and Pinkie find yourselves a nice spot in the crowd, you look around and begin identifying some of the players. You see that the earth ponies make up for most of the crowd, but a few pegasi and unicorns can also be spotted. You spot a pegasus with a rainbow mane carrying a determined look on her face, a leafy green unicorn who you know from work, a yellow pegasus standing in the back of the crowd huddled next to another colt, and even your own boss sporting his own pair of orange socks. I guess this game really is more popular than I thought, you think to yourself.
“Attention, please! Your attention, please!”
A voice breaks out through the crowd, causing everypony to stop their conversations and turn towards the stage. A tan-colored mare with a graying mane and yellow glasses now stands on the stage, not wearing any socks of her own. You recognize her as Ponyville’s mayor, and are once again surprised that someone of her stature is announcing for something so relatively minor.
“First off,” she begins, “I want to thank everypony here for joining in on Ponyville’s first official game of Ponies Versus Monsters! From Fillydelphia to Trottingham, and even as far away as Witherton, PvM has taken Equestria by storm, and I am sure everyone here is glad for that, am I right?”
Her declaration is met with a swift round of applause.
“Secondly,” she continues once the cheering dies down, ”I want to extend my thanks to a certain few ponies today who helped make this game possible. The first pony I’d like to acknowledge is the unicorn who stitched together all the socks needed for the game, and who could not be here today for work-related reasons: Ponyville’s very own Rarity!”
The crowd once again erupts into a cheer, clopping their collective hooves on the stone ground.
“I would also like to thank the pony responsible for not only enchanting every single pair of sock to comply with the official rules, but also organizing the safe zones and the distribution of all the rulebooks: Miss Twilight Sparkle!”
You take a quick glance at Twilight as another round of applause starts up. You can make out a sheepish smile on her face along with a faint trace of pink on her cheeks before your boss pats her on the back and says something that you don’t quite catch, especially with Pinkie yelling “WOOOOOOO!!!!” right next to your ear.
“And now,” the mayor starts up again, “Before we begin, I’d like to go over the rules one last time so that everypony may stand a fair chance. If I may have Miss Sparkle and her friend to come up here and help me demonstrate…”
The crowd collectively leans toward the stage as the two of them climb up the steps and join the mayor onstage. You have never seen people so enthusiastic about having to listen to rules before.
“As the name says, this game is a match between the ponies and the ‘monsters’. One among you is a monster, a creature that looks like a pony but is out to hunt down everyone it sees and turn them into monsters as well. A simple tap with a hoof covered by a sock is all it takes…”
At this, Twilight raises her limb into the air and taps the chef in the side. At once, a burst of light breaks out along with an audible “Poof!”, changing the socks’ color from a bright orange to a dull grey, the logo retaining its solid black color.
“…to turn a regular pony into a monster,” concludes the mayor. “Once turned, a monster must wait two minutes after being tagged before they can begin to tag other ponies, at which point…”
*Poof!*
Thanks to Twilight’s magic, the socks on your boss turn into a full black, the logo taking on a grey color.
“Not only this, but for the first half hour of the game, the original monster’s socks will remain as bright orange, allowing him or herself to blend in and tag as many ponies as possible.”
“However,” she keeps talking, “the ponies have one advantage. After the first half hour of the game, certain parts of the town will be protected by a magical barrier. These areas are called ‘safe zones,’ places where no monster can enter and tag other ponies.”
Run for the safe zones, look out for black socks, trust nopony, you run through a mental checklist. You had the rules almost memorized down to the letter, but you figure it’s better to be over-prepared than not at all.
“However, ponies would do well to not confuse being in the safe zone with being home-free. Every fifteen minutes, the safe zones will change their locations, and they will disappear completely for the last thirty minutes of the game, meaning everypony will have to stay quick on their hooves if they don’t want to be tagged.”
“The ponies who manage to last the entire game without being tagged will be declared the winners! Should all the ponies be tagged before time is up, then the winners will be the pony that survived the longest and the monster who tagged the most ponies!”
“And finally, a few more important rules. To make this game fair for everyone, the use of magic and wings is forbidden.”
At this, you notice the few stray pegasi in the air immediately drop to the ground while some of the unicorns put a special cap over their horns. You even spy the rainbow pegasus getting her wings tied to her body by an orange earth pony, with the rainbow one giving an annoyed look at her friend.
“The official play area is entirely outside. Building interiors are strictly off-limits,” continues the mayor, “And I’m sure everypony here knows this one already, but the most important rule of Ponies Versus Monsters is…”
“DON’T BE A SPOIL-SPORT!” The entire crowd, including you and Pinkie, recite the bolded and underlined rule in the official rulebook.
“Oh my…” the mayor chuckles at the crowd’s enthusiasm. “Well, looks like you’re all ready to get this game started.”
You bet I am, you mentally reply.
“Hey, don’t forget!”
“Huh?” you turn to the source of the voice.
“Stick together, remember?” Pinkie reminds you of your promise. You had almost forgotten she was there for a second.
“Right, stick together,” you reassure her.
“Pinkie promise?” she holds a hoof up, wanting you to seal the deal with more than just words.
“Pinkie promise,” you smile, raising your hoof to meet hers.
“And now, Miss Sparkle, if you please…” the mayor requests.
“Right away,” says the lavender mare onstage. Channeling her magic, Twilight launches a ball of pure magic energy high into the air. Once it’s safely out of range of any potential pegasi, the ball explodes in a glittery display that would make an Equestrian Independence Day display green with envy.
“The five-minute grace period has begun!” shouts the mayor as all the ponies, including you and Pinkie begin to scatter about, looking for any hiding spot they can.
“Let the games begin!”
Ponies Vs. Monsters: More Friendly Games
Poking your head up from under a pack of crates, you carefully examine the surrounding area. The street that lies before you is wide open, with not a single pony in sight…that, or they’re really good at hiding. In the distance, you can see your destination: A glowing ball (courtesy of Twilight’s magic) hanging high in the sky, marking one of the current safe zones. Making your best guess, you surmise that you have maybe thirteen minutes left before that safe zone disappears and reappears elsewhere, most likely even further away from you.
Guess it’s now or never, you muse. Taking one last glance at the surrounding area and making an audible gulp, you slowly tip-hoof out of your hiding spot and make your way down the street. Your head shifts about crazily as you look and listen for anything that might suggest you’re about to get tagged. It doesn’t help that you can hear shouting and the sound of hooves clopping against the stone roads in the distance as other ponies frantically try to escape their chasers.
You’ve been panicky and paranoid ever since the game began, and you can tell the stress is starting to tire your brain out. You feel pity for the ponies who live their entire lives this way, but at the same time, you also feel a little bit of exhilaration. You can’t recall the last time your adrenaline was ever this high, something not even your most intense video games could provide-
*Rustle*
You nearly leap out of your skin at this noise. Whatever it is, it is way too close for comfort.
Immediately turning your head to the source, you spot a bush near one of the many buildings on this street. A bush that happens to be shaking in a foreboding manner. Not taking your eyes off the bush, you slowly back away as the rustling grows louder and louder…
…until a squirrel walks out from behind the leaves, causing the rustling to stop. Seeing that the squirrel is not a player and certainly not a monster, you release the breath you had been holding as a sigh of relief. This event was all too similar to a scene in a scary video game you once played. The only thing different between that scene and this one is-
“GOTCHA!”
This one word, shouted at a scarily-close distance, causes your heart rate to triple. Time seems to slow down as you jerk your head to the source. All you can make out is a blur of blue and black as something leaps towards you at an alarming pace. For a moment, the shock renders your mind blank, making you feel as helpless as a bunny caught in a net trap. You can only stare in horror as the figure’s body flies ever closer to you…
Press “A” to dodge!
“AAAAAAAAYY!!!” You yell as your head finally starts working, immediately leaping to the side. All you feel is the air brushing against your coating as you not-so-majestically soar through the air, thankfully landing on your hooves like a cat.
You don’t bother to check out your assailant, instead choosing to run as fast as you can to the safe zone. Your mind is filled only with thoughts of escaping, your hooves pound against the ground in a frenetic pace, your heart beats like crazy, and your leg muscles push themselves to the limit to get your butt out of there as fast as ponily possible.
Even while in full flight mode, your brain still reminds you of your surroundings. It doesn’t take long before you hear another set of hooves running right behind you, but you don’t dare to look behind you to see who or how close your chaser is. All you can think of is reaching the special walls of the safe zone and be protected even for only a little while longer.
You’ve never considered yourself a sprinter, but you quickly bring yourself closer and closer to the safe zone. Unfortunately, you also hear the hooves of the one chasing you growing steadily closer. You can even hear her panting as she closes in.
No, I have to make this! you silently yell. You’re so close now; just a few more feet…
Deciding to go for broke, you push yourself the ground as hard as you can, forcing you into the air. As you make your best Supercolt impression, you hear your chaser yell “Yah!” and the sound of her hooves disappearing. Time slows to a crawl as the two of you seemingly hang in mid-air, your bodies moving millimeter-by-millimeter, your mind completely blank and heightened to feel even the slightest brush on any part of your body…
…but no such thing happens.
Time seems to speed back up as you glide effortlessly through the transparent magical barrier and into safety. Unfortunately, you didn’t put any planning into your landing, and end up smacking into the ground with a solid “THUD!”
As you lie there with your muscles expressing their discontent at your move in the form of pain, you vaguely notice the sound of something bouncing off a trampoline right behind you. In the meantime, your brain replays the entire scene multiple times, and each time you can only come to one thought:
“Press ‘A’ to dodge?” Really?
Taking a few seconds to recover from your reminder that gravity does indeed still work, you roll over and sit up to survey the aftermath. Your entire body lies safely within the confines of the magic barrier, and a quick check confirms that your socks are still colored orange.
“…Rats!” a voice calls out. Looking away from your hooves, you quickly spot the source: Your chaser, the blue-coated, rainbow-maned pegasus you spotted from earlier, lying on her back a few feet away from the barrier, the rope tying her wings together still tightly in place. I guess the mayor wasn’t kidding when she said the monsters can’t get in the safe zones, you think to yourself.
Quickly sitting up, the mare spots you and immediately directs her scowl towards you. “Hey, you just got lucky, that’s all!” she yells, “If I hadn’t tired myself out tagging the rest of your buddies, you’d be on my side for sure.” She points a hoof covered in a black sock in your general direction. One advantage given to the ponies is that the monsters could not see through the barriers.
“Just you wait! This is the last time you’ll be able to hide behind that barrier. The moment these walls disappear, you’re toast, got it?” The mare ends her boast here, choosing to patrol the barrier and count down the time left before the wall dissipates.
It’s at this point that your mental and physical stress finally catch up to you. You fall back onto the ground out of shock, staring into the sky as your body struggles to recuperate. You pant heavily, your body feels drenched in sweat, and your muscles burn so much you could almost swear your blood is on fire.
Even with all this, your focus remains solely on the rainbow pegasus’ words. She was right; the game was almost over. In just a few minutes, the safe zones would disappear completely, and you doubt you would have the strength to be able to outrun her and all the other monsters for what little time remained. Faced with these facts, you can only lie on the ground with one thought running in your head:
How did so much go so wrong so fast?
The game had certainly not turned out like you had expected. You were so sure you had this game in the bag; you had studied the rules extensively and even left your house a couple times just to scout out good hiding locations for maneuvering between safe zones. Unfortunately, your plans had gone to waste almost immediately. You had severely underestimated the chaos that would ensue in the first few minutes, as well as how many ponies would be tagged before the first safe zones sprang up. In what seemed like no time at all, the streets were littered with monsters.
You weren’t even sure that you would make it to the first safe zone, let alone survive to the end of the game, yet somehow you’ve had an incredible stroke of luck and have barely been chased by any of the monsters so far. In fact, you had hardly run into anyone you knew (an admittedly small list, but still). Not your boss, not Twilight, and not even-
“Hey!”
“GAAAAAH!”
…She is really good at startling you.
You panic and roll to the side as your view of the sky is suddenly obscured by a pink face with bright blue eyes. Unlike last time, however, these eyes are furrowed and her normally cheery expression has been changed into a scowl. If you didn’t know any better, you could swear she wasn’t very happy to see you.
“Uh, Pinkie!” you force out, “Uh, glad to see you’re still, uh, not a monster...”
“Why’d you break your promise!?” she yells back.
“Our…promise?” you ask. What could she be talking abou-
“Ah!” you shout as it comes back to you. “Pinkie, I’m so sorry! Everything got so crazy, I just…lost track of everything…I didn’t mean to break my promise…”
At this point, your courage gives out and you avert your gaze from Pinkie’s piercing stare. You had committed the cardinal sin of breaking a Pinkie Promise, and now you were surely doomed to an ill fate with no escape. You have never wished for real life to have a reset button more than you do now.
“…Is that so?” Pinkie says, lowering her eyes and leaning towards you until her face is uncomfortably close to yours. Her gaze pierces straight into you; no matter where you shift your eyes, you can’t escape her stare of doom.
“…Well then…I forgive you!”
In a flash, Pinkie’s scowl turns into a cheery smile as she wraps her forelimbs tightly around your neck. You would probably take note of how comfortable her clothed legs feel on your withers if your mind still wasn’t drawing a blank on trying to process this situation.
“You…forgive me?” you ask for confirmation.
“Yup!” replies Pinkie, letting go of you and taking a couple steps back. “To be honest, I kinda lost track of things myself. My Pinkie Senses have been going crazy since the game started. I’ve lost count of how many times I felt my ear twitch or tail shake, and then had to start running to dodge a monster!”
“Isn’t that...kind of...” you start to say.
“Unfair?” Pinkie beats you to the punch. “Well, maybe, but I can’t exactly turn it off, and there are no rules that say I can’t use it, so technically it’s not cheating.”
“Well, I guess when you put it that way...” you respond. If it’s not against the rules, after all... “So...do you wanna try sticking together now?” you nervously ask.
“Of course I do, silly!” replies Pinkie, “I just know this game will be a lot more fun now that I have someone else watching my back. I tell you, this game has got me so worked up that sometimes I feel like I could just scream!”
“AAAAAHHHH!!”
“Yup, just like that!”
“...um, Pinkie,” you slowly speak up, “That wasn’t me...”
“Huh?” Pinkie rubs her chin with her hoof, “But I didn’t scream, either...unless I did do it without realizing it...” Her eyes go wide, “Maybe I have a super-secret ventriloquism talent! Here, lemme try it again-”
“Pinkie, I think someone’s in trouble!” you reply before she can try again.
“Oh, right!” Pinkie realizes, “I think it came from the other side of the safe zone, come on!” Before you can get another word in, Pinkie rushes off towards the source of the sound.
You don’t need to be told twice. You still haven’t fully recovered from your chase with the rainbow pegasus, but you hightail it as fast as you can regardless. Fortunately, the safe zone is not very big, and you arrive at your location in no time at all.
Once you reach the other side of the barrier, you immediately spot Pinkie standing over another pony lying on the ground in exhaustion, the one you assume to be the source of the scream. Just outside the safe zone stands a pack of monsters, some trying to catch their breaths, other carrying a frustrated grimace.
As you walk closer towards Pinkie, you begin to recognize the pony who had just escaped a brutal tagging. It’s a bright-green unicorn with an equally green mane, clad in orange socks and a nearly-pristine white jacket. You also spot the colt’s cutie-mark, a wooden spoon and spatula crossed together in an X-pattern, as well as an official PvM magic-sensing cap covering his horn.
Unlike most of the ponies playing this game, you actually happen to know this colt on a personal level.
“...Caesar?” You call out.
“...Yes, sir!” he replies almost out of instinct, throwing his tired limb up next to his head to give a fatigued salute. You had come to accept that was just his normal way of saying “hello.”
“Are you okay?” you ask, “You look exhausted.”
“I’m fine...” he replies as he catches his breath, “Really tired...but still...able-bodied...sir!”
“Wait a minute...” says Pinkie, “You know this pony?”
“Sort of,” you reply. If you count bumping into him and saying “Hi” at work everyday...
“Then that means...Ohmigosh!” Pinkie’s eyes go wide and her cheery grin comes back in full-force. “YOU’VE MADE YOUR SECOND FRIEND IN PONYVILLE!”
“Uh, actua-BLAGH!”
Before you can explain yourself, Pinkie throws her forelimbs around you and traps you in another hug that could rival the strength of an Ursa Minor. You already feel your consciousness starting to fade. I guess there are worse ways to go, you figure.
“This is so great! I knew my friendship lessons would eventually pay off, and now you finally have another friend! I just know you two are gonna have all kinds of fun times together and play games and tell jokes and get into wacky misadventures with a heartwarming lesson at the end of the story and...oh!”
Pinkie lets go of you just before you black out from lack of oxygen as an idea comes to her head.
“This calls for a super-special Friendship Party!”
At her words, Pinkie reaches to the side and pulls what appears to be a miniature cannon out of thin air. She punches a button on the front and the cannon fires, launching a series of colorful streamers that glide through the air and perfectly stick onto the side of a building.
“Luckily, I always keep my party cannon close by in case of emergency parties!” she explains without explaining.
All you can do is give a blank stare while your brain attempts to reboot from crashing due to trying to process Pinkie’s actions too hard. You would think you would be used to this happening by now, but she still manages to surprise you on an almost daily basis.
“...uh, sirs?”
Caesar’s voice thankfully reminds you that you still have a monster apocalypse to attend to.
“Uh, yes, Caesar?” you turn to the young colt, seeing that he has recovered enough energy to stand up again.
“I happen to have some very vital information to report concerning the current status of the game, sirs!”
“Important?” asks Pinkie, “I like hearing important stuff! Let’s hear it!”
“Well, I happened to overhear some of the monsters talking as I was hiding,” begins Caesar. “They said that the ratio of ponies to monsters is really low now.”
“How low?” you ask.
“Well, they continued to talk, and one of them divulged that there are so many monsters now, they...” He pauses to take an audible gulp. “...They can form perimeters around all the safe zones so tight that nopony could break through them.”
“Sounds like bluffing to me,” you reply, “I only had to run from one of them to get here, and the part of the safe zone I entered was totally unguarded.” You stop to gently massage the stitch in your side that had built up from all your running today. “Not that I didn’t have any trouble getting here, though.”
“I think I can explain the absence of monsters in this general area, sir,” says Caesar. “A good portion of the monsters were occupied with tagging a group of ponies that tried to hide outside the safe zones to keep them off-guard.”
“They...tried hiding in plain sight?” You ask.
“I know, it’s really smart, isn’t it?” chimes in Pinkie, “That’s what I’ve been doing for most of the game. I’d hear some of the monsters rush into a safe zone looking for me and then they’d be like ‘Where’d that pink one go? I thought she was right here!’ and I would just run away while they weren’t paying attention. They never saw it coming...or me going!”
“...O-kay...” you blink a couple times before turning back to Caesar, “But...aside from Pinkie, how successful were they at finding and tagging the ponies who tried that?”
“Um, well...” Caesar’s eyes move to the sides as if he’s not quite sure how to put his thoughts into words. “...Before coming here, I tried the same tactic with a few other allies, and...and...”
“...and what?” Pinkie asks. You have a feeling she’s not one for suspense.
“Well...they were the ones chasing me here, sir.”
“I see...” you take the opportunity to glance towards the edge of the safe zone where the monsters had gathered.
The sight you see nearly makes your jaw drop.
“Um...Caesar?” you ask.
“Yes, sir?”
“Exactly how many monsters were chasing you?”
“I...I think about three or four. I was a bit preoccupied with escaping, sir. Why do you ask?”
“Because there are about at least a dozen more of them standing outside the barrier now.”
Both Caesar and Pinkie turn to look outside the safe zone and adopt the same frightened look as you. True to your word, the street just outside the magic barrier is filled with ponies wearing black socks and menacing looks. Their glares remind you of the same horror game from before, at the scene where your character was trapped in a log cabin and had to fend off an endless horde of crazed killers and other monsters. Unfortunately for you, you don’t happen to possess a briefcase full of firearms to protect you once the walls disappear...
“Maybe...maybe we could still sneak out the other way?” you ask.
“Lemme check real quick!” says Pinkie. Before you can get another word in, she takes off in a blur of pink toward the other side of the safe zone.
I wonder how long she’ll be go-
“There’s a whole buncha monsters over there, too! And at all the exits!” Pinkie returns just as quickly as she left, leaving no time for you to even finish your thought. Something tells me “Pinkie Senses” isn’t the only reason no one’s been able to tag her...
“What? But...how...where did they...” you stammer. The only way this could get any worse is if...
*Vrrrm* *Vrrrm*
A strange sound reaches your ears, and you spot a faint glow of red in your peripheral vision. You wish with all your might that it didn’t mean what you think it did, but once you turn around to confirm, you find a new reason to be scared.
The safe zone’s normally-transparent barrier had now taken on a dark shade of red. You know all too well what this means: It’s Twilight’s way of showing how much time remained before the safe zone would vanish, this time for good. In less than two minutes, the walls will disappear and the monsters will charge from every conceivable angle. To you, the word “escape” may as well not exist.
“This is bad, sir!” shouts a panicked Caesar. “We appear to be flanked on all sides! What are we gonna do!?”
“I...I don’t know,” you reply, “There’s no way we can dodge all of them for even a minute.” As much as you don’t want to admit, you can’t think of any way out of this mess. You had been outmatched, plain and simple.
“I...I think...” you start your admittance, “I think we’re done for...”
“HOLD IT!”
You and Caesar’s eyes open wide at the outburst. You both turn to its hyperactive, pink source.
“I have an idea!” Pinkie exclaims, her face locked in an ecstatic moment of Eureka! “I know exactly what we need to do to dodge them!”
“How?” you ask, “There’s too many of them for us to get around without being noticed.”
“We don’t go around them, silly. We go over them!”
“...But, sir...er, ma’am,” asks Caesar, “Isn’t flight against the rules...and not possible for non-pegasi such as us?”
“Nope, wings are the only thing against the rules, not flight,” replies Pinkie. “We won’t be flying with wings. We’re gonna fly with this!”
Once more, Pinkie reaches to the side just outside of your vision, and brings out the object crucial to her plans.
“Pinkie...” you start to say in disbelief “That’s...”
“It’s not wings!” She cheerfully interjects, “The monsters will never see this coming, trust me!”
“Pinkie, you’re suggesting to shoot us out of the party cannon!” You decide that you would need to directly express your exasperation to get your point across. “How do you know we won’t be seriously hurt?”
“I had another Pinkie Sense while you were looking at all the monsters outside the safe zone,” she explains, “It was a ear-flap, tail-twitch, double-hoof-shake combo, which means that as long as I aim it towards the cafe, everything will turn out okay! All I gotta do is turn it up to ‘Turbo Party Mode’ and it’ll fire all three of us with ease.”
Just how many senses does this mare have? You quietly ask yourself. “Uh, okay, but how will you know where to a...”
“Oh my gosh, the cafe!” Caesar yells, his eyes wide in horror.
“Huh? What about it?” You ask.
“I-I was supposed to lock it up after I got done cleaning before the game, but I completely forgot!” he hastily explains. “Oh, this is bad! What if someone broke in and stole all the money out of the register? What if they trashed the boss’ quarters? What if they took my lucky spatula!?”
“Caesar, calm down, soldier!” You grab his shoulders and press down firmly. He stops shouting and remembers to breath, although you can still see the panic in his eyes. “I’m sure the cafe’s fine,” you continue, “I doubt anyone’s had the chance to sneak in while the game’s been going on.”
“...Sorry, sir,” he says, his voice a bit calmer than before, “...but I have to set things right.” He backs out of your grip on him and turns towards Pinkie, who is currently using a protractor to get the angle of the cannon just right.
“Miss Pie,” says Caesar, getting the pink mare’s attention, “I need to head to the cafe ASAP. Please let me go first!”
“Okey-doke!” replies Pinkie, her voice a bit too cheerful given the dangerous stunt she’s about to pull. Reaching behind the cannon, she pulls out a safety helmet and tosses it to him, landing perfectly on Caesar's head. “Just climb in rump-first and let your General Pie take care of the rest!”
“Yes, ma’am!” shouts Caesar, giving yet another sharp salute, one that almost hits you in the face.
Without wasting another second, Caesar throws on the helmet and rushes over to the cannon, stopping right in front of the barrel. He then promptly turns around and lifts a rear limb into the barrel. It takes him a couple tries due to his frantic speed, but eventually he crams his back half tightly into the cannon. Meanwhile, Pinkie was busy turning some unseen knobs, her tongue sticking out to the side while her eyes were lost in deep concentration.
“Ready for deployment!” Caesar yells.
“Okey-dokey-lokey!” replies Pinkie. Taking one last look to make sure the cannon was perfectly tuned, Pinkie raises a hoof and punches the “Party!” button.
*BOOM!*
“SEMPE RFIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiii...”
In an instant, Caesar Salad disappears in a cloud of smoke. You jerk your head to where the cannon was aiming to try and spot him. For a moment, you can just make out a small dot in the sky before it disappears in a twinkle complete with an audible “ding!”
“Okay, your turn!” Pinkie calls your attention back to her, “Make it quick! Those walls will come down any second now!”
“Pinkie, I’m not so sure about this idea anymore...” you nervously say. Not that you were ever entirely sold on the idea, but Caesar’s performance has only furthered your doubt.
“Don’t worry about a thing,” she replies, “My Pinkie Senses have never, and I mean never been wrong before.”
“But I-”
“You just have to trust me, okay?” Pinkie almost pleads with you, even going so far to stare right into your eyes.
As the two of you exchange glances for that moment, you realize that her offer is one you cannot refuse. She was right in that it was never a good idea to ignore a Pinkie Sense, but somehow you get the feeling that she isn’t just offering a suggestion to help you win a game with no material prize. It’s almost as if she truly wants you to climb into the cannon...
“...I’ll do it,” you finally agree.
You trot up to the front of the party cannon in a manner not unlike a child about to face punishment from its parents. You take a moment to stare into the dark cylinder before turning around and lifting a limb inside.
It’s not until your leg is partially inside when you come to a realization: Caesar is just a bit smaller than you overall, and he was barely able to fit himself inside. As far as you know, you don’t possess any contortionist abilities, which meant that you have no chance of climbing into this barrel far enough to be shot out of it.
“Uh, Pinkie...” you start to relay this information to her.
*VRRRRM* *VRRRRM* *VRRRRM*
“No time to talk!” exclaims Pinkie from behind the cannon. The walls are now emitting noises again, this time in a steady beat. The final countdown before the walls would disappear had begun, with only fifteen seconds of safety from the monsters remaining.
“Pinkie, I can’t fit!” you shout.
“Oh, yes you can!” she yells back. In an instant, she rushes from behind to cannon to in front of you, her front hooves off the ground and pointed towards you.
“Pinkie, what are you-OOF!”
Before you can object, Pinkie forcefully pushes down on your chest, forcing your rear inside the chamber. As this wasn’t enough to get you reasonably in the cannon, she keeps shoving, pushing you further inside the chamber.
“You! Just! Need! A little! Elbow! Grease!” she yells between shoves.
You count yourself lucky that none of your bones are dislocated by the time she’s finished. You can’t tell from your view, but you look like an experiment gone wrong. Your head and forelimbs stick out at odd angles of the cannon’s opening, and the barrel is so tight around your midsection that it is almost impossible to breathe.
“There, perfect!” declares Pinkie before she disappears from your view, only to immediately reappear. “Almost forgot!” She slams a safety helmet right on your head, blocking out the top portion of your vision. “Okay, now we’re ready!” she declares one last time before running to the front of the cannon.
Unable to move, all you can do is stare at the sky while your heart pounds against your chest in panic. There was truly no turning back; either you would find glory or an early grave. Most likely the early grave.
In the few seconds you have left, you witness the magical barrier give one last glow before it finally dissipates completely. You vaguely hear somepony yell “Charge!” along with the sounds of a veritable army’s worth of hooves and screams rushing towards you. Before, you would have considered the impossibility of escape from them as the scariest thing you have ever felt. However, what moments of fear you would have felt from the masses charging towards you pales to the terror that grips your mind now.
“This is it!” the mare who had gotten you into this mess yells, “Are you ready!?”
“Not really!” you shout back as if you had a choice.
“Too late!” is the last thing you hear her say. Though you can’t see her, you can feel the pressure around you shift as she raises her hoof towards the sky...
...before bringing it down on the aptly-labelled “Party!” button.
*BOOM!*
Ponies Vs. Monsters: More Friendly Games
“Owwwwwww…my spleen…”
You have no clue where you are or what happened after you heard the cannon fire, but you don’t dare open your eyes to witness whatever mess you’ve landed yourself in. You’re not even sure you can, anyway; in addition to your oddly-specific moan, you feel pain radiating throughout your entire body, rendering you almost unable to move.
Stupid, you berate yourself. You climbed into a cannon made to shoot party streamers just to win a silly game. What did you expect would happen?
You lie curled up in the fetal position while you hope that someone, anyone, finds you, wherever you may be, soon…
“OHMIGOSH! THERE YOU ARE!”
Anyone but her, that is.
“Pinkie?” You mumble almost inaudibly as you feel a set of hooves run up right next to you.
“Oh gosh, are you okay? Please be okay!” Pinkie’s voice carries a hint of fragility. Though your eyes still remain closed, you can feel Pinkie darting about as she frantically looks over you to see how serious your injuries are.
“How do you feel? Can you move your limbs? Do you feel any blood? How many hooves do you see? What’s the square root of apple pie!?” In her panic, Pinkie throws a barrage of questions at you faster than you can comprehend, let alone answer.
“Uhhh…Pinkie…” is all you can reply. She has the right mind; as much as you dread doing so, you really need to see how badly hurt you are.
Finally opening your eyes, you glance down at your body to assess the damage. Although your view of your body is slightly obstructed by some dirt and debris, you can still spot quite a few bruises and scrapes. Some of the cuts are even deep enough to draw blood, but only just. Other than this and the pain you feel in nearly every joint, you can’t see anything from your view that would require immediate medical attention.
“I think…” you mumble a bit louder than before, “I’ll be fine. It just…really smarts…”
Deciding to test the extent of your injuries further, you force your body to roll over. It hurts enough for you to hiss through grit teeth, but you manage to power through and rotate onto your belly. With that taken care of, you reach a hoof up and push the safety helmet off your head. Celestia-only-knows how bad things would be if I wasn’t wearing that, you think to yourself.
“How do I look?” You grin weakly as you look up to meet Pinkie’s gaze.
Your smile immediately fades once you finally get a good look at her face. Pinkie’s eyes are wide open, shimmering and threatening to overflow with tears. Her mane has somehow grown flat and drooped to one side of her, and even her coat has taken on a darker shade. You have never seen Pinkie like this before; it’s almost as if she is a completely different pony, one drained of all the fun she normally finds in life.
“Pinkie?” you ask as delicately as you can.
“I...I...” she squeaks, her voice even more tenuous than before.
“What is it? Is something wrong with me? It’s not as bad as it looks...right?” you ask.
“I...I...I’M SO SOOOOORRYYYYYY!” All at once, Pinkie’s fragile demeanor shatters. A fountain of tears sprouts from each eye as she bawls as loud as she can.
“Sorry?” You inquire, “For what?”
“IT’S ALL MY FAULT!” she sobs, the impossible fountains of tears coming to a temporary stop. “I...I totally ruined the game for you! I barged into your house when you were barely awake, I forgot the super-duper game-winning plans, I blamed you for breaking our promise when I did the same thing, and I forced you into the cannon when you kept telling me it was a bad idea, and now you’re all hurt and not having fun anymore and it’s all because of me!”
“But...I know you didn’t mean to do those things...”
“But I still ruined everything!” Pinkie continues whining, “I knew how much you were looking forward to this game and I just wanted to make sure you had the most fantastical time ever, but I’m just a...a...BIG PARTY POOPER!”
Her lightning-fast explanation comes to an end as her voice becomes overwhelmed with sobbing. The tears spray out to her sides once more, the puddles they form almost touch your hooves.
As you stare at the hysterical pony, you feel a part of you breaking up inside. Pinkie Pie, the fun-loving and eternally happy party pony of Equestria, is reduced to tears because she thought you weren’t having any fun? You know this isn’t right; you can’t let such a normally bouncy pony become a blubbering wreck because of you.
“Pinkie, please don’t cry!” You plead.
“B-but, I...” she sniffles, “I made your day no fun at all...”
“No, you didn’t,” you muster another weak smile, “I had a lot of fun today, especially when I was...with you...” Your voice trails off at the last two words, albeit for a reason you can’t blame on your wounds.
“You...you did?” Pinkie quietly inquires. “You’re not...mad at me?”
“I could never be mad at you,” you reply. “In fact...” you take a second to ask yourself if you’re really sure you want to say this next line before deciding that it has to be said. “I...I...always have fun when you’re around. You’ve made my life the most exciting it’s been in a very long time. I never realized how much fun having a friend could be until I met you.”
“R-Really? You’re not just saying that...are you?”
“I really mean it,” you reassure her. Gathering up as much strength as you can, you slowly get up from the ground, joining Pinkie at eye-level while somehow stopping yourself from letting out a painful whine. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and I’ll always look forward to hanging out with you...even if I have to be fired out of a cannon every single time.”
For the next few seconds, Pinkie stares longingly into your eyes, her baby-blue eyes still heavy with tears on the bottom. Did your words have any effect? You cannot tell for sure. Her only response is an almost-breathless mention of your name...
...right before she immediately pulls you into another hug.
“Ack!” you gasp as you finally notice some bruises had formed around the very parts of your neck that Pinkie is hugging.
“Oh thank you thank you thank you sooooo much! You’re one of the bestest friends ever!” As usual, Pinkie doesn’t seem to notice your pain or inability to breathe.
Fortunately for you, this hug doesn’t last very long. Pinkie soon withdraws her hooves and leans back, allowing you to get a good look at her. Somehow, her flat mane has returned to its normally poofy look and her coat is back to its normal shine. I thought I heard noise-makers, you quietly muse.
What gets your attention the most is the return of her bright smile, eager to show off her eternal happiness. Despite your injuries, you feel a sense of relief wash through your body knowing that the Pinkie you enjoy so much is here to stay.
“Eh, don’t mention it,” you reply with a smile of your own, “You’ve made this day an exciting one, that’s for sure. I never thought I’d experience what it’s like to be fired out of a cannon.” You toss in a quick chuckle to help lighten the mood.
“I really mean it! You’re always so super-nice to me whenever we’re hanging out at a party or playing games in your room. I’ve had nothing but a really good time since we’ve been friends. In fact...”
A blush forms on Pinkie’s cheeks, and she looks away for a second. This may be the first time you have ever seen her acting shy.
“...I, uh, I’ve been wanting to give you a super-special surprise gift for a long time now, something that shows you just how much you mean to me as a friend...”
“A...surprise?” you ask, blinking a couple times. She couldn’t mean...nah. We’re just friends...right?
“Yeah, a surprise...I was gonna wait until after the game if we both won, but I’m just so excited, I can’t wait any longer!” Pinkie bounces with the giddiness she always seems unable to contain whenever she throws a surprise party. Whatever this surprise is, it’s probably going to be a doozy.
“Okay, so what’s the surpri-MMMPH!”
...Yep, definitely a doozy.
In an instant, Pinkie’s head leaps forward, trapping you in yet another embrace. Unlike the last few hugs, however, this embrace comes with one major difference.
At first, you stand completely dumbstruck, eyes open in shock, as a part of you refuses to acknowledge what happened, denying the very warm and very real sensation on a certain part of your head. After all, there is no way that you could be...right?
A few seconds and several rapid heartbeats later, you realize that there is no other possible explanation for this wonderful feeling:
Pinkie Pie, the fun-loving and optimistic mare of Ponyville and your best friend, is kissing you.
Your mind races with dozens of questions at once. How long has Pinkie felt this way about you? How many signs had she dropped that you didn’t notice? Is this why she kept inviting you to all those parties and trying to get you to have more fun?
Most importantly, do you really care that much about getting answers when she is kissing you right now?
For now, you decide that you’ll worry about your questions later and instead focus on this wonderful feeling coursing from your mouth throughout your entire body. You let your eyes fall closed and return the favor, pressing your lips back against hers.
The kiss itself is a very mild one, little more than both pairs of lips coming into contact with each other. You could not care less for this, however, as even this simple kiss is one of the best things you have felt in your life. Pinkie’s lips are as soft as a marshmallow, and the heat coming from them is more inviting than any blanket you have ever slept in.
As good as it feels physically, it can’t compare to the elation you feel deep inside you. Out of all the ponies in Equestria, Pinkie Pie chose you, a reclusive geek who rarely leaves his home. Not even the greatest video game in existence could make you feel as happy as this one truth does.
It feels like hours, but the kiss only lasts mere seconds. Pinkie soon withdraws her head before too long, staring at you with half-lidded eyes.
“Surprise...” she whispers.
“Wow...” you reply almost breathlessly. You are quite certain you have some sort of goofy expression on your face right now.
“Hee hee, you look really silly right now,” says Pinkie, confirming your suspicions. “So, what did you think? Was it really good?”
“It was...amazing,” you say.
“Yeah, I knew you’d like it,” Pinkie replies matter-of-factly.
“So...can we do that again?”
“Of course not!”
“Wha...huh?”
“We gotta take care of you first, silly!” Pinkie playfully nudges your head, one of the few spots on you that doesn’t hurt.
“Oh. Right. My injuries...” you chuckle a little at your own forgetfulness. Pinkie’s kiss had almost made you completely forget how incredibly sore you feel. “Yeah, I should probably do something about them.”
“Well, don’t you worry a thing! I got a first-aid kit back at Sugarcube Corner that’ll get you all bandaged up, just like a mummy...or a daddy!”
“Sounds like a plan,” you reply. You slowly take a step forward, only to immediately buckle when you feel a sharp pain in your hoof.
“Ah!” you hiss out loud. Something tells you that putting any more weight on that hoof would be a bad idea.
“Uh oh! Here, lemme help you with that!” says Pinkie. In an instant, she moves to your side, reaching under your torso and pulling the sore limb over her neck. “There! Now let’s go get you patched up!” she says once her face is back at your eye-level.
“Thank you,” you reply meekly. In a moment of shyness, your gaze drifts towards the ground.
It’s at this point that you finally notice a key change in Pinkie’s appearance.
“...Grey?” you ask about the change of color in Pinkie’s socks.
“Oh, yeah, about that...” She nervously laughs, “Dashie got me right after I fired the cannon...”
“But...” Your confused look turns to one of horror as you piece things together. “If they’re grey, then that means...”
*Poof!*
*************************************
“...And once again, I wish to thank all of you for making Ponyville’s first official game of Ponies Versus Monsters a huge success!”
The mayor’s voice slowly becomes audible as you and Pinkie make your way to the edge of the crowd at the town hall. Even from the rear, the smell of sweat is especially prevalent. All the players show signs of being worn out from the game; some pant to get control of their breath, others are covered in dirt and even a few scrapes, but all carry a smile on their face, happy to have been part of the game.
Your trip to Sugarcube Corner to get yourself patched up forced the two of you to miss out on the last few minutes of the game. The actual bandaging process took up a surprisingly little amount of time. You were prepared to head back to the game when Pinkie’s stomach grumbled, making her declare “Cupcake time!” and immediately set out whipping up a batch. The ensuing meal left you with a full stomach and more than a few good conversations with Pinkie, so all in all you consider it well worth the time spent.
“And now, for the final results!” says the mayor. “Both sides played a marvelous game, but alas, only one pony managed to last the entire game without being tagged, making him the game’s sole winner! Everypony please give a round of applause for the first winner of Ponyville PvM...Caesar Salad!”
All at once, the crowd erupts into a thunderous applause, with ponies eagerly clopping their hooves on the ground, and some even throwing out wolf whistles. You spot the green unicorn being nudged up onto the stage, his face wide open in surprise and disbelief and his body relatively unscathed from his launch from the cannon.
“I...I won?” He says as a medal magically glides through the air (courtesy of Twilight), coming to rest around his neck. He stares at the medal in wonder.
“Caesar! Caesar! Caesar!”
The crowd’s applause grows into a chant of his name. That seems a bit excessive, you think to yourself...but it was an intense game, I guess.
“I won...” you barely make out Caesar’s voice over the crowd’s chants. He stares at the mass of ponies in a manner not too different from you when you see an ad for a new game in the newspaper. Sure enough, his expression changes from amazement to excitement as he finally comes to terms with his victory. “I-I won! I really won!” he now shouts with a wide grin on his face.
“Heh, I guess you were right, Pinkie,” you speak up.
“Huh?” Pinkie turns to you. She had been cheering right with the crowd when you spoke up. “About what?”
“Your Pinkie Sense,” you explain as you turn from Caesar to her. “It told you that as long as you aimed for the cafe, everything would turn out okay.”
“But you ended up getting really hurt and losing the game,” says Pinkie with an arched eyebrow, “Doesn’t sound like a very honest Pinkie Sense to me.”
“That is true...but hey, if it wasn’t for that accident, I wouldn’t have such a good marefriend to look after my wounds now.”
“Well, I guess you’re right about that...” Pinkie’s curious expression fades back into her usual cheerful grin. “You know, this almost sounds like one of those stories that my friend Rarity likes to read all the time. I’ll bet she’d be real happy to hear a story like this. Maybe we could tell her about it sometime to help brighten up her day?”
“Uhhh, if you want to...” you reply, your eyes shifting left and right. You want to think Pinkie’s joking like usual, but her sincere smile seems to suggest otherwise.
“In fact...” Pinkie’s eyes lower halfway, and she leans closer to you. “We could try giving you my present again real quick just so we know how to describe it to her later.”
“...If you want to...” you reply, your cheeks starting to grow warm while your heart pumps faster. Are we really gonna...in public? you think, glad that Pinkie doesn’t possess the ability to read minds.
“Hey!”
You and Pinkie both snap away from each other and turn your head to the source of the raspy voice. It’s the blue pegasus from before, her socks now colored in the standard PvM orange, and the rope around her midsection removed. I guess it’ll have to wait until later, you think through a toothy smile.
“I’ve been looking for you guys,” Rainbow says as she walks closer to both of you. Her eyes open slightly wider when she spots all the bandages and bruises on you. “Oh, wow, that landing did a number on you, didn’t it?”
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” you reply, “I’m just gonna be real sore for a while. It’s a good thing Pinkie found me when she did before it could’ve gotten worse.”
“Yeah, about that...” Rainbow glances off to the side while bringing a hoof to the back of her head. “Listen, I found Pinkie lying on the side of the wall when the safe zones disappeared and sort of ran in and tagged her without thinking. I didn’t even notice that Pinkie’s party cannon was peeled like a banana.”
“What, really?” you reply. Looks like you were too big to fit in the cannon after all.
“Yeah, and then Pinkie came to and ran off before I could get any answers out of her.” Rainbow’s eyes drift away again, and her voice falters for a second. “...I guess, what I’m trying to say is...I’m sorry that I didn’t try to help you out. I totally would have been there if I knew what happened.”
“That’s okay, Dashie!” says Pinkie. “I know you would’ve helped if you knew. I was so worried about my friend that I ran off without thinking about asking others for help.” She turns from her cyan friend to you. “I guess we both have something to apologize for, then.”
“And I forgive both of you.” You offer a warm smile to the two mares. “If not for the two of you, this game wouldn’t have even been have as exciting.”
“No kidding,” says Rainbow, her frown slowly growing into a smile. “I mean, I still can’t believe it, myself. A cannon! I thought I was the super-competitive one around here, but that’s like something right out of a Daring Do book! Only Pinkie would come up with something that crazy.”
“Yeah, even I think that idea was just a little too crazy, even for me,” says Pinkie, “But I’ll bet the readers really got a kick out of all this.”
“...Readers?” You ask.
“You don’t wanna know, trust me.” Rainbow shakes her head. “Well, I’m gonna take off now. I haven’t used my wings for hours, and they could use the stretching.”
With this, Rainbow turns around and promptly stretches her wings wide. Thanks to your exposure to some of the gaming subculture in Equestria, you can’t stop a certain guttural thought popping into your head, even if just for a split second.
“Bye, Dashie!” Pinkie does not appear to have this problem as she waves at her friend.
“Catch ya later!” Dash yells as she takes to the skies in no particular direction.
Pinkie sure has interesting friends, you think to yourself...although not as interesting as Pinkie herself. You can’t resist smiling to yourself a little at just how lucky you are.
“So, what do we do now?” you ask the pink mare, who was now finished waving at her long-gone friend.
“That’s easy!” she responds, raising her hooves skyward “It’s time for us to throw a super-special ‘End of Ponies Versus Monsters’ party!”
“Sounds good,” you reply, “But...isn’t the party cannon a wreck now?”
Pinkie gasps at your words and immediately drops down to all four hooves again. “You’re right!” she says, her body frantically shifting as fast as her mind races. “That means I’m gonna have to be quick to get this party started soon! I’ll need to whip up the party food first! Oh, and then get all the paper cups and punch and stuff, so everypony have something to eat and drink off of! I need balloons and streamers too, so everypony knows it’s a party! And confetti! Lots of confetti! I need scissors! Sixty-one!”
“Whoa, whoa, calm down!” You reach your hooves and somehow grab Pinkie at her shoulders in mid-flail. “You don’t have to do all the planning by yourself. I can help put the party together too, you know.”
“But your injuries...” says Pinkie.
“Just don’t put me on anything that requires heavy-lifting,” you say half-jokingly.
For a second, Pinkie looks unsure of what to do, but she soon finds her smile again. “Okay, I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you again.”
“Pinkie promise?” you ask.
“Cross my heart and hope to fly,” she replies, lifting up a hoof to go through the accompanying motions.
“Alright, then.” You take your hooves off Pinkie and place them back at your side. “So what’s the plan?”
“First we go back to Sugarcube Corner so we can whip up all the treats for everypony! Come on!” Before you can get another word in, Pinkie rushes off in the direction of the sweets shop. A second passes, and she promptly returns to your side, her cheeks carrying a different shade of pink than the rest of her face.
“Heh-heh, almost forgot that you probably shouldn’t run with those bandages on,” she explains.
It’s at this point that you feel something warm and slightly ticklish wrap around your tail. You twitch a little at first before you finally piece things together: you and Pinkie are now holding tails.
“Well, then,” you say, certain that you are blushing heavily now. “Shall we?”
“You first,” is all she replies.
Leading the way, you step off towards Sugarcube Corner with the bubbly pink mare closely by your side, her warm coat brushing against yours, tails intertwined with each other, smiles adorning both your lips. You don’t even make it halfway when a thought more uplifting and comforting than anything you have have felt hits you:
You have not just made a friend who likes you for who you are. You have found love.
______________________________________________________________________________
Note: You now have a thing for giant games of tag and Pinkie Pie.
…
Wait, that’s all?
Well, yeah. Why?
But that’s so bland and boring. Nopony will find that clever or funny!
Well, I was kinda going for like an anti-humor approach. You know, sometimes unfunny things can be funny in themselves...
...Yeah, might wanna leave the end notes to the professionals here.
...How do you even type with hooves?
Same way that gamer pony plays video games with them, why?
...Forget I asked.
Okey-doke, then! Oh, by the way, great job on beating the show’s writers to that gag about me really having to take a pi-
PINKIE!
Ponies Vs. Monsters: More Friendly Games
Note: This chapter is not an extra chapter to the story, but rather a series of interesting tidbits that went into the creation of this fic. Spoilers warning apply. Enjoy, and thank you for reading.
-The primary inspiration for this story came from a real-life game known as Humans Vs. Zombies . I actually took part in this game for the first time at my college last semester, and lemme tell you, it's no walk in the park. As I played through it, however, a random thought of how such a game would translate to the MLP universe entered my head one day, and was quickly followed up with "I'll bet that gamer geek I made in 'Friendly Games' would like it." The story just kept growing from there to the point where I thought it was too good to pass up. The idea also started before I even got to work on "Good Clean Fun", so I had plenty of time to iron out the kinks before I started putting it to digital paper.
-Another reason why I wrote this story was since I made it to be a sequel to "Friendly Games", that meant I could geek out and toss out plenty of nerdy references. As far as I can remember, my intentional shout-outs included Zelda, Looney Tunes, Fahrenheit/Indigo Prophecy, Phoenix Wright, Sin and Punishment, Resident Evil 4, No More Heroes, and Metal Gear Solid. See if you can track down all of them should you decide to give it a read!
-I genuinely enjoy writing scenes with Pinkie Pie. Her completely random and childlike personality coupled with her tendency to poke at the fourth wall has limitless potential for silliness. She's also rather convenient, as she allows me to handwave certain plot points (Where she got the party cannon, etc.) as "Pinkie being Pinkie." Huzzah for lazy writing!
-One detail that I wanted to add but couldn't fit in: Fluttershy is the Original Monster. As it turns out, she is surprisingly effective at tagging others, even Rainbow Dash. Dash wasn't very upset with it, though; she actually embraced her new status as monster, and found she had a lot more fun being the hunter and not the hunted.
-Some info about Caesar Salad: I mainly brought him back from his minor role in "A Well-Deserved Break" so I could see how he would act around other ponies and in a different situation. I figured he would be an odd balance of military efficiency hindered by general inexperience. In other words, think Colin from the Advance Wars series ponified, and you'd have Caesar. His enthusiastic dedication also allowed from some silly moments between him and the others, something I couldn't resist. Lastly, in case you wondered what he looks like, here's a hastily-thrown together depiction of him made in the Pony Generator. Credit to N3uro for making the cutie mark.
-If there's one thing I could consider a flaw with the story, it's that the romance portion of it could come off as forced. I kept flip-flopping on whether or not I wanted this story to be just another day as best friends, or actually show a budding relationship. I'm not 100% satisfied with what I have there, but hopefully the rest of the story made up for it if it did end up a problem to anyone.
