It was mid-afternoon in the small town of Kentville, Nova Scotia. On a well-tended to lawn I sat, splayed out lazily on my lawn chair. The sun shone down from the blue sky, wispy clouds of nimbus in the vast sea of blue beauty as well.
My peace was then disturbed when my damn phone rang. I nearly jumped out of my skin, the cellphone vibrating in my pocket. I groaned, and answered the call. ‘Oh, it’s Zach.’ I thought as I said, “Hello?”
“Ey. You know the friggin’... friggin’... shit, nevermind, I forgot. But anyway. Hear about the cure for cancer they’re developing?” The man on the other side of the line asked.
I nodded, although he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, yeah. What about it?”
“Apparently some shit went wrong while they tested on it.” He said, almost as if he regretted saying it.
“What do you mean?” I asked, sitting up in my chair, watching the cars go by.
He sighed. “Well, they got it under control, but the thing is, one of the scientists ended up getting bitten by the lab rat they tested it on. He’s apparently been transferred to the nearest hospit--”
I cut him off. “Where?”
“I think it’s the hospital right across from the department of natural resources? Well, anyways, it seems like he’s a-”
“A what?”
“A zaaambiiieee...” He said in a spooky voice.
“If you’re fucking with me, I will...” I was cut off by him.
Chuckling, he replied, “Nah, probably just got some nasty-ass infection. Dem rats be nasty, brah. Anyway, I gotta get back to writing.”
“I heard about that, what are you writing?”
“A story.”
“What story?”
“A story, y’idiot.”
Then he hung up on me. Huh.
Asshat.
I sighed, and went back inside my home. It wasn’t really any kind of elaborate estate or anything like that- just a simple two-story home. I whistled a little tune, and made myself some linner. I missed lunch, and it was half-way to dinner, so why the hell not? Linner.
Why linner and not dunch? Because dunch sounds retarded.
‘That sounds really stupid.’
Shut up. Anyway, once again, after eating my LINNER-
‘Seriously, I’m going to cockslap you. Enough with it, just say dinner.’
No, fuck off!
‘No you fuck off!’
YOU!
‘YOU!’
‘We should stop fighti-’
PENIS!
‘Penis?!’
PENIS!!!
…
‘WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMB-NUTS!?!?’
‘How about you shut up?’
Can you guys just let me think?
‘NO.’
Some hours after that batshit insane argument with myself, I fell asleep on the couch after watching some shows on the Food Network.
Outside, someone was on my lawn. Their head was thrown back, and they were limping across the grass.
Of course, my door was shut and locked.
And in my dreams, I was far less peaceful.
I was looking through a child’s eyes, which were mine. I always remembered the feeling. The feeling of being loved by someone I cared for, someone who cared for me. Somebody to love, and somebody who could love back.
She held my hand. She was beautiful... oh so beautiful. The woman who I cared for, who cared for me, had a warm smile on her face. She held me in her motherly embrace.
I was home.
The smile on my face was crushed when I heard a ringing. I woke up. Static on the TV, pitch blackness around me. My phone on the table, ringing and vibrating.
It was three in the morning, what could Zach want NOW!?!?!?
I picked up the phone. “What?” I was tired, that much was apparent from my tone.
“Eeeeeyyy maaaan,” His... was he fucking high? “This shit is... oh fuck I dropped some...”
“You got into your sister’s weed brownies, didn’t you.”
“Heheheh, what are you talkin’ bout maaaan...”
I hung up after that. Idiot.
‘I can guess that he’s also correct.’
About what?
‘I don’t know, whatever he was talki-’
That’s right, you don’t know.
‘Oh shut up.’
No.
I sat down on the couch again. God dammit, Zach can be so annoying sometimes.
Riiing, Riiiing, Riiing.
I slammed my finger on the answer button and shouted into the mic.
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?”
“Shit, dude, ya gotta heeeelp me, there’s a bunch of guys outside aaaaaand they’re trying
to break my door dooooownnn-”
“Will you shut the hell up? Your hallucinations are not going to kill you, stop eating the
fucking brownies.”
“What broooooownies?”
I sighed. This was not going to end well.
“The fucking brownies you were eating earlier.”
“I wasn’t eaaaaaating any brownies.”
I hung up.
‘You shouldn’t of done that.’
Shut up. I could strangle you.
‘That would be a form of suicide.’
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
‘How about no.’
I grabbed my phone and shut it off, getting out my laptop. After I did, I got onto it, and opened up my browser.
Ping!
Why the hell am I still logged onto Skype?
I typed, ‘What do you want?’
Zach responded, ‘Dude. Get over here.’
I answered with, ‘Why?’
Zach said, ‘Well, there are these awesome things called... shit, idk gtg’
It just ended there.
‘Alright, I’m fed up with this shit.’
I logged out.
Then, I heard a crash upstairs. “What the...” I jerked my head to the stairs, and cracked my neck. “Owww, ow ow owww fuck...” I held my neck in pain. What the hell was that? “Hello!” I called out. “Is anybody up there?!” I looked back.
There came no answer.
“I’m gonna call the police if you don’t come down right now!” I warned, before I took my phone into hand. I stood up, and walked to the stairs. Cautiously, I moved forward, silently. I flicked on the lights, illuminating the hallway above as I walked into it. I opened the door to the first room, poked my head in, turned on the light and looked around. Nothing. The same was so for the second room. Then the bathroom, then the storage... finally it was my room.
I opened the door, turned the light on... poked my head in...
And went pale as a ghost.
Author's Note
So yeah.
She walked alongside the one whom she looked up to, who she learned from. Her mentor had a smile on her face, but Twilight Sparkle knew she was unsure of what would come from this.
The doors to a room opened in the castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. This is when Twilight’s mentor looked to her. “Are you sure about this, Twilight?” She asked, her tone being one of concern.
The unicorn nodded, almost hesitantly. “Yes, I’m sure, Princess. This will be a breakthrough in unicorn magic, I just know it.” She smiled confidently.
Long-distance teleportation was one thing, but to teleport across continents and countries was another. Twilight planned on using her magic to port herself to the land of the Gryphons. Of course, no such magic was capable before this. At the very least, Celestia had a mental link with her student. She could tell if something went wrong, but even now, she had an uneasy feeling about her. “If you say so, Twilight, I will not stop you.” The Princess spoke.
“Okay... here goes,” Twilight took a deep breath. The unicorn’s horn lit up, and the spell was cast.
The very first thing she felt was regret. The next, immense pain. This wasn’t normal- teleportation spells weren’t supposed to hurt too much after the first five attempts! She felt like every little molecule, every cell, nerve, what have you, was burning. Twilight let out a silent scream, as she could no longer breathe. Cold hit her like an MMA fighter’s shin-kick. Hard. She opened her eyes, and tried to gasp, but the vacuum of space prevented her from doing anything without wasting her breath. Below her was a planet... and it wasn’t Equestria.
Thinking insanely fast, her horn lit up, and a bubble formed around her body. She let out a loud gasp as air smashed it’s way back into her lungs, warmth returning to her form as well.
The unicorn began to panic, as the planet’s gravitational pull began to take it’s effect on her, pulling her closer to the atmosphere. All she could do was watch- she was at the mercy of gravity now.
Twilight fell, and fell, and fell. Thank Celestia for the spell- it prevented the heat outside of the shield from burning her to a crisp. She was quite toasty, though.
Now on the outside, Twilight would appear to be frozen in fear. On the inside, she was trembling in both excitement and terror.
You couldn’t really blame her- it was a whole. New. World! There could be outlandish creatures, monsters (hopefully not, for Twi’s sake!), all kinds of stuff! They could be civilized, maybe even friendly, and sentient! She could learn so much, but she didn’t know what she could learn! What a mistake! What a worthwhile mistake! This could be the greatest thing that ever happened to her!
Lost in her thoughts, Twilight didn’t notice the roof of a house coming up to meet her. She snapped out of it, and screamed in terror. The unicorn fell unconscious as soon as she made contact with the roof, going through it. The last thing she felt was hitting something soft... and the last thing she heard... was a voice.
“Hello!... Is anybody up there?!”
There, sitting on my bed, was a purple blob. It was almost as big as a great dane. At first, I didn’t notice the hole in my roof.
Then I looked up.
“Fff...”
Once Twilight awoke, she was warm. Wrapped in a blanket, laying on a soft surface. Was it a dream?
'Is this the reeeaaal life?'
'Is this just fantasy?'
'Caught in a landsliii--'
No.
'-escape from reality--'
GOD DAMMIT I SAID NO!
“What the... where am--”
“AHHHHHHHHHHH! GOOD GOD!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ALIEN!”
I was completely unaware that... the thing could talk.
‘Oh shut up, you know what it is.’
WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL. UP!
After cooling down from our scream-fest, I started getting bombarded with questions.
'God, she’s even more annoying then Zach...'
“You can talk? Ooh! Sentient beings! What’s your name?”
“HOW THE HELL CAN YOU TALK?!”
“What’s ‘hell’?”
“GET AWAY FROM ME!”
I stumbled off the couch and greeted the floor with my face.
“Oww... that hurt...”
“What do you eat? Why do you wear boring clothes? Why do you s-”
“More fucking importantly, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU FROM?!”
“-at is this world called? Why did you fall on the floor? Why-”
I stuck my hand infront of her mouth, blocking all sound from coming out, with the
exception of a few mumbles escaping through the cracks of my fingers.
“What the HELL are you anyways?”
I removed my hand to hear the answer. I’m not sure if I should of done that.
“Well, I’m technically a pony, but more specifically, I’m a unicorn. What are you?”
“I must be fucking dreaming.”
“Well, would you feel this then?”
She hit me in the shoulder with her hoof, and I could definitely feel it.
And it fucking hurt.
“OW! What was that for?”
“To see if you were dreaming, silly!”
‘Captain Obvious to the rescue!’
Just shut up.
