Chapters Princess Celestia was taking a nap when the scroll appeared in a puff of smoke and fire. “Six? Goodness Twilight what have you been doing? Applejack swore to me you wouldn't touch any more liquor in her presence, if I have to rescue Twilight from a roof again somepony is spending a week on the moon.”
She penned a reply quickly, saying she would send a carriage. A few moments later another scroll popped into existence. “Dear Princess, let's hold off on the carriage a moment, I want to try something. Would you mind meeting me in my old room?” The next thing Celestia heard was an explosion, coming from the north wing. “What in the-”
Twilight coughed, and looked around, “Oh no...”
She had attempted a long range teleportation to her old room in the castle. She had been focusing on extending the range of the spell to include Spike. It seemed she had overdone things a bit, as she'd now managed to take a good portion of the library's floor, and six... No make that seven bookshelves. “How do I compensate for this much raw power? I really need help, or I really might hurt somepony!”
The rubble sent up a plume of dust, her west wall had been demolished, the seventh bookshelf (no make that six and a half, tax law textbooks by the looks of it, no great loss) in a pile of glass. The dust swirled inward as a shape barreled thru the wreckage.
“Twilight, are you in here? What on earth happened? Why would you try a teleport from Ponyville, even you don't have that kind of-” Celestia broke off, sudden comprehension refusing to quite come to the forefront of her mind. Her eyes relayed the message again, her brain explained loudly her eyes were damned liars and should check once more. Her heart decided it was going to play a drum solo for a bit and her stomach, not to be outpaced, did a barrel roll. “Buh.” Her mouth decided, since the rest of the body was clearly having a party, it would join in on the fun.
“Aren't they pretty? I have no idea what happened but here they were this morning! I found a good book on the subject and studied up a bit. I've ruled out every other possibility. I must be an alicorn! Can you help me Princess? I've been trying to control my magic but so far the casualties include seven texts on Equestrian tax code and one innocent brush, how do you deal with this much strength?” The silence lingered awkwardly. It whistled a bit.
Celestia's brain finished its little temper tantrum and relayed a message to the mouth.
“Princess? Are you alright?” Spike looked up in concern. He waved a hand in front of her muzzle. “Twilight, I think you broke her.”
The dust swirled again as another shape flew into the hole that had previously been a wall. “SISTER, WHAT DEVILRY IS THIS? WE FELT A SURGE OF MAGIC AND SAW AN EXPLOSION-” Luna's voice cut off as she examined the scene. Her sister seemed paralyzed. A purple unicorn with wings was staring at her expectantly.
“TWILIGHT SPARKLE IT’S SO GOOD TO SEE- Ahem, We are most sorry Twilight. We were uncertain what had happened here and became excited and fearful. We... that is to say, I am most glad to see you, but what has happened here? Why is our... my sister so nonplussed? You look well I must say, your wings look particularly lovely!” Something about this situation seemed a bit unusual, but her happiness remained unabated. Luna embraced the unicorn fondly.
“It's good to see you too Luna! I needed to talk to you as well. I have no idea what happened; but my magic is out of control and I have wings! Celestia does not seem to be with us at the moment, I've been waiting for her to come back from wherever she is.”
Luna nodded sagely, she had seen this before. The memory was... not a fond one. Celestia had reacted like this when she had declared she would not let the sun rise. Also, once when she had walked in on Luna's... alone time. She walked over to her befuddled sibling and placed her muzzle close to her ear and whispered. “Celly, the sunrise is due in two minutes, you've overslept.”
Celestia glanced up in panic, which quickly turned to annoyance. “Lulu, why do you do that to me when I am trying to nap?!” She looked around, her senses relaying the information that her brain had been ignoring.
Twilight sighed in relief, this was not going as she'd hoped. “Thank goodness, I am so sorry if I startled you! Princess, I really need your help here!”
Celestia looked at her protege, “Twilight, I am so sorry; I was just a bit shocked. Tell me more please.”
Twilight nodded, she pulled out a book and opened it. She explained what she had read on the subject. “The book said it would be best to get information directly from the source, so here I am. Can you help me understand what's happening, and why? How do I control this much magic? How do you do anything without setting the world on fire with this much strength?”
The princess glanced at the book. Celestia had been so disheartened, but Professor Cann told her he what he intended. The book was written and published on a bet between the Cloudsdale University and Celestia's School for the gifted. It was a sound theory of course, the most gifted of Unicorns and the most talented of Pegasi researching the possibility of another alicorn outbreak occurring in Equestria, the whole study had proved a waste of time in the end. Despite concluding the whole thing pointless, having done the research they felt they needed to do something with the information. Thissdens had bet Cann two bits he wouldn't have the stones to publish it. Thissdens has lost that bet, and Cann had lost the respect of his colleagues for publishing something so useless. Who exactly would this information ever serve? Celestia looked down at her protege, Twilight's wings fluttered nervously as she looked up to her mentor for approval. Who indeed?
Celestia calmed herself as she examined the room. Everypony was waiting for her to address the situation. She should really say something. Actually, she should have already said something. She mentally face-hoofed. This was going to be a long day. Well, let's begin at the beginning shall we?
"Twilight... Spike seemed to think this whole thing has you thrilled. Let me begin by saying this situation is not expected, normal, or wanted. There is a reason Luna and I are the only alicorns in existence. It's not precisely a race you see; it's a mutation, and a very rare one. The book you hold mentions there were two known cases of Alicornication. When Luna and I were born, we were not as you see us now. We were unicorns, powerful ones. We helped move the sun and moon, along with several hundred other unicorns. This was just after the founding of Equestria."
Twilight looked up with adoration, "So you two were just like me! What caused you to be an alicorn?"
Celestia sighed "We don’t truly know. The change was sudden, and quite jarring. That is why the book you hold even exists. Professor Cann was studying the phenomenon. He examined me thoroughly, took blood samples and studied me. Thissdens became involved in the case to study the pegasus magic imbued in me. I commissioned this study, I funded it. I asked one of my finest proteges; the very same Professor Cann you used to dread, to research it. All for the purpose of determining if what had happened would ever happen again. If it did, I wanted to be more prepared, to help the budding god/goddess in a way I myself wish I could have been helped.”
Celestia looked mournful as she recalled her state of mind at the time. “I was very lonely you see; nine hundred and seventy eight years is a long time. I missed my sister. I suppose it was foolish to want to take two talented ponies from their academic careers to study what amounted to a wild goose chase. I explained there had only been two known cases in the last two thousand years-"
Luna broke in, "Sister that's untrue-"
"I'm getting to that Luna. I withheld certain pieces of information I did not feel would be relevant, at the time. I didn't feel it necessary to drag our friends’ names through the mud. Even two millennia later it still seems unkind. It wasn't their fault after all."
"I understand sister, but it seems we will need to explain the situation in detail. I believe our friends may have a very specific connection with this change in our dear Twilight. If this makes you uncomfortable perhaps I should continue?"
Celestia considered, then nodded. "That may be best, the memories should be fresher for you. Having had your... episode, you skipped past the last thousand years." She looked apologetically at Luna, who simply nodded.
"Very well then, know this Twilight Sparkle. The... mutation? We do not like that word, sister... In any case. This... change - yes we like that better - has happened to a total of eight ponies."
Twilight looked shocked, "Eight? What happened to the other six?"
Luna looked quite embarrassed, "They still exist... in some form. Let me explain. You'll recall how I was bound to the moon with the Elements of Harmony?"
Twilight nodded, "Yes, Celestia used the Elements to bind you after you became Nightmare Moon. The book I brought along mentioned that you both sought out connections to the populace in each generation, to prevent yourselves from becoming too distant. Nightmare Moon was the result of madness you went through when you decided you and your work were unappreciated. Celestia bound you because she could not purge you of your madness, and she could not bear to attack you."
Luna winced. "That is a bit of an oversimplification, but true enough I suppose. However, the reason I mention it is to tell you this: I was not the first alicorn to go mad."
Twilight looked confused, and a bit apprehensive. "What are you saying Luna? What happened to the other... Oh." Twilight's mind latched onto to something, a curious connection. Six alicorns, six elements. Elements powerful enough to lay low a goddess like Nightmare Moon. Powerful enough to turn the living embodiment of Chaos to stone.
Luna nodded, seeing the understanding dawn in Twilight's eyes. "Our friends live on. Lokey, the prankster; perhaps the only being more mischievous than Discord. She became the element of Laughter. Sapphire, the most beautiful and giving of souls; she loved to go amongst the populace spreading joy and beauty. She was the element of Generosity. Blueberry, the gardener, who grew groves of trees in an instant; never a more steadfast or hard-working soul was there. She became the element of Honesty. Tornado, the master of winds and weather, and the most true friend a mare could find. She was the element of Loyalty. Shimmer, who loved all animals as her children; she was the sweetest, dearest soul I had ever known. She was the element of Kindness. Finally, Dawn, the most powerful practitioner of unicorn arts I have ever seen, present company not excluded. She was the element of magic. Celestia and I are powerful, but each of them were just as powerful in their own right. It took a combined effort find them, to return them to their former sanity; and later, to bind each of them to a stone. Their essences remain, drained of the madness that overtook them. The elements were comprised of everything they were. They each agreed to be bound to prevent the madness from overtaking them again."
Twilight gawked at this, "How? Why?"
Luna looked sad, "That... is a tale Twilight. You see-"
Celestia held up a hoof. "Wait a moment! Sister, do you feel that?"
Luna paused, "Teleportation, we have a visitor coming."
There was a bright orange flash.
The three alicorns regarded the pony who appeared in the flash. Orange coat, wings folded to the side, horn peaking out from under a Stetson hat...
"Twilight what in the hay is going on? Why do you have wings? Why do I have wings and a horn? How the hay did I just get here?"
Twilight giggled a bit at Applejack's expression, "Applejack, it's good to see you. Sit down, Luna has a story to tell you."
Applejack woke with the cock's crow. "Cock-a-doodle-doo yourself, you mangy bird. I'm up, I'm up!"
She rolled out of bed. It was going to be a long day and she needed to start it now. The hard cider she'd been drinking had probably been a mistake, no help for it now. Big Mac was bucking the south orchard granny smiths. She had to tend to the northern orchard braeburns. She hitched herself to the cartload full of bushel baskets and started north.
The first tree she stopped at looked a mite peaked. She laid an ear to the bark and tapped. "C'mon there Burnsy, perk up. We'll get you bucked in no time."
The tree seemed to straighten a bit, as if hearing her encouragement. The leaves seemed a bit greener. She nodded in satisfaction, then turned around and gave the trunk a swift and precise kick.
The apples all fell perfectly into the baskets below. All except one.
She stared at the stubborn fruit. "Dagnabbit you get down here!" She gave the tree another kick.
The leaves shook but the fruit remained. It looked ripe, it just refused to fall. "Stubborn eh?" She stared at the fruit, wishing she could will it down. Then watched in panic as it was surrounded by a gentle orange glow and fell into the basket below.
"What in tarnation?" She glanced about. That was magic just now, no doubt about it, but she didn't see no unicorns around. She entertained the thought of somepony playing a prank on her, but her two unicorn friends just weren't the type.
"Twilight? Rarity? Either of you two 'round sugarcubes?" She only heard the gentle sounds of the farm; birds in the trees, cattle in the distance.
She shrugged. She had trees to buck and daylight was wasting. Celestia may be a friend, but she sure didn't play favorites when it came to hours in the day.
She kept up the labor, the work was intense, it had her sweating. Strangely she didn't seem as tired as she would have expected. She’d just finished the last tree when she heard Applebloom's voice greeting her.
"Sis! Ah'm home! Hows the bucking going?"
"S'fine Applebloom, how was school?"
"Boring! Cheerilee got mad when I started drawing during her lecture."
Applejack snorted "You be more respectful 'bloom, Cheerilee tries her darndest to keep you foals interested, least ya can do is pay attention."
"Ah know sis Ah know. Say you been helping Twilight with her spell experiments again?"
"Why you ask 'Bloom?"
"Sis, you looked in a mirror today? You got wings again and you got a horn too this time! "
"Say what now?" Applejack felt her forehead, and sure enough, there was a unicorn horn; poking out just under her hat. She looked at her back and saw orange wings folded to her sides. Not Dash's this time then. The horn was new too. What in the hay had she been up to to account for this?
She considered herself a pretty observant pony, but she was pretty sure those wings hadn't been there when she hitched herself to the apple cart. Still, there they were, big as life. Last time this happened was because of a few too many cups of moonshine. She never should have let Twilight talk her into that second sleepover. Rarity bowed out, something about needing to work on a rush order. Dash was invited, but Dash had some damned fool ideas. One thing lead to another and well, drunken unicorn and all. She had a brand new pair of blue wings on her back in the morning, and a mighty upset Dash on her hooves the following day. They found Twi in Canterlot. Celestia made Applejack swear to keep Twi off the sauce in her presence in the future. She had readily agreed, the moon is not a fun place to be sent to.
"Well Ah'll be... Twilight I dunno how yet, but I just know this is yer fault. 'Bloom you head to the house and mind Granny a bit. I gotta go talk to Miss Sparkle."
Applejack arrived at the library, she knocked but there was no answer. She looked at the door in annoyance, durned things were such a pain to open with yer mouth. Orange light surrounded the door and it opened. "What?" She looked around in consternation. Nopony was in the library, and it was in shambles! A huge hole was in the floor, which allowed Applejack to see some complicated machinery in the basement. Several of the bookshelves were missing, and one was split in two as if an Ursa had not quite finished a snack. Why an Ursa would be in the library snacking on books was anypony's guess. So, big hole in the floor, things broken, and no sign of Sparkle anywhere. Yep, she's been up to something big again.
She glanced around, looking for any clue to her friend's whereabouts. She spotted an open scroll on the floor. She didn't normally cotton to reading other pony's mail but desperate times call for desperate measures.
"My Faithful Student,
Of course, you are always welcome to come and speak with me. Your letter confused me however, you say you've grown more legs? How on earth did this happen? I told you no more drinking until you learn your limits! Let me send a carriage, and we can discuss the matter in face to face when you arrive.
Your Concerned Teacher,
"Dangit Twilight, what in tarnation have you been doing? I need answers here and yer off with the princess after blowing a hole in your danged home!" Applejack snorted, she wished she could see the princess and Twilight to give them both a piece of her mind right now.
There was a bright orange flash.
The next thing Applejack saw was Luna, Celestia, Twilight, and Spike. They were gathered around a table talking about something.
"Twilight what in the hay is going on? Why do you have wings, why do I have wings and a horn? How the hay did I just get here?"
Twilight giggled a bit at Applejack's expression, "Applejack it's good to see you, sit down, Luna has a story to tell you." She was giggling, she had been hitting the sauce again hadn't she?
"So we're sure this ain't just some drunken unicorn shenanigans again?"
Twilight huffed, "I said I was sorry about that! Will everypony please get off my back? I've barely touched a drop since the sleepover!"
"Awright, but I still think yer pulling my leg! I mean, how the hay does something like this just up and happen one day?"
Twilight nodded in sympathy. "We're not quite sure yet Applejack, the only connection we have to point to is the Elements of Harmony."
"Yeah, about that, yer telling me the necklace you had me wearing is a dead pony?"
Luna quickly responded, "Not at all Applejack, Blueberry is very much alive, as are the rest. They have become the living embodiment of their purest virtue. You were granted her power because you best embody her element, Blueberry was as honest as the day was long and a true master of all things green and leafy!"
"Ah see, and somehow wearing this necklace made me grow wings and a horn?"
"Well... we aren't sure yet. It's the only lead we have. After the Elements were created from our friends during the war with Discord only Celestia and I ever used them. Obviously being Alicorns ourselves we would not have been physically changed, perhaps the Elements having bound themselves to you, are changing you to a form capable of using their full potential."
"Yeah... but... how you keep calling em yer friends when you trapped em in a rock? I mean I understand why you did it to Luna-" Luna blushed but said nothing "-but what happened that these friends of yours had to be put into a piece of jewelery, and did it without a fuss?"
Celestia spoke up here. "I believe this calls for story time again. Gather round my little ponies, and dragon-" Spike had shot her a look, then smiled, mollified. "Celestia is going to tell you the tale of the war of the Alicorns vs Discord."
Celestia began her tale. It was an epic story of seas boiling into mud, mountains shifting, cats and dogs living together, and mass hysteria.
“Psst”
Celestia continued her tale, because we're not doing this.
“PSST OVER HERE”
Everyone just ignore that, we're going to hear about how awesome this war was.
“Author, I could break the fourth wall at will before you made me into a god, you know that right? I could shatter it now. I could form the shards into separate worlds of my choosing. Just now I made a world without water, populated entirely by fish.”
Celestia is telling her story, because we are not doing this now.
“This is a weird time to go off explaining plot points, don't you think? You need to get everypony together or this whole thing will never move forward.”
Damnit Pinkie! We are not doing this! You’re coming up the next chapter.
Pinkie smirked, "Not doing what exactly?"
I am not doing a self insert addressing a pony that doesn't know to stop breaking the fourth wall! It's cliched, it’s old hat. It's... I'm doing it right now aren't I?
"Welcome to the party pal! There's cookies and punch by the door. Now, how are you going to handle this?" Pinkie grinned ear to ear.
I... I don't know, Celestia was talking and it seemed interesting but now you're here ruining everything.
"Ruining how exactly? You wanted everypony to be gods, here I am. Maybe we should just head back to Ponyville? I was about to go mess with Dashie. She doesn't know I can fly yet, it's totally gonna freak her out! Then I thought I'd ask her to race me around the world a few times, and then maybe go pranking. Magic and wings will make pranking even more fun!"
How did you figure so much out so quickly?
"Oh please! I practice smiles in the mirror every morning! You think I'd miss big pink wings and a foot long horn?"
I suppose that was a bit much to ask, how do you like them?
"Oh they're neato! I tried flying earlier while you were off watching Applejack's flanks."
I... was not...
"Lie to everypony else if you feel like it, I know what I saw!" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Ahem! How exactly do I get you to play ball here?
"Oh we were we playing ball? That sounds fun, we should go get Dashie! She can keep bouncing them off her head a super long time! Maybe not now though, horns are pointy, I bet she can still bounce it on her butt, we should go ask her!"
You're not going away, are you?
"Nopey dopey! C'mon! Let's go wake up Dashie!"
Only if you promise to stop addressing the fourth wall so much, I can only get away with this for so long, people are going to call me a bad writer.
"You're not a bad writer, you just made a bad decision. Now come watch me mess with Dashie!"
Did you just steal Fluttershy's material?
"Shhhh! You're going to wake her up!"
So... apparently we're watching Pinkie Pie now.
"My Pinkie Sense tells me somepony is exasperated. Now, stop being such a grumpy pants, this is gonna be fun!"
Pinkie Pie was nodding excitedly to a song only she could hear. She'd been flying around all morning getting used to the wings. She was currently hovering in the kitchen of the bakery making mass amounts of cupcakes, every object in the kitchen was surrounded by a soft pink glow. The Cakes... well they were freaking the hay out. This was their worst nightmare, Pinkie was odd enough without being a flying immortal nigh omnipotent god-like figure.
After finishing the cupcake orders for the next month Pinkie walked into the front of the bakery and grinned at her employers.
"I'm gonna go play with Dashie now, I'll be back later!"
She kissed Pumpkin and Pound on the nose. She whispered in their ears, "I love you both, but you no more mean pranks out of you two, I can fly circles around you,-" nodding to Pound "-and I can turn you into a turtle now-" looking at Pumpkin. "-do we understand one another?"
The twins nodded vigorously.
Pinkie grinned, "Good, we'll play later!"
She flew out the door.
Mr Cake shared a relieved look with his wife. “Dearest, do you suppose your mother would mind if we visited for a bit?”
Cup nodded. “I’ll send her a letter to ask, I’m sure she’d love it.”
They both looked out the door. Carrot spoke in a hushed tone. “I don’t know that the world is ready for what just walked out our door.”
Cup nodded sadly.
Dash was asleep on a comfortable cloud. She suddenly felt something whip past her. She blinked her eyes blearily. A pink shape hovered in front of her face. She tried to remember what pink was.
The pink thing grinned at her, "Hi Dashie! Wanna race?"
This was some dream, it was weird seeing Pinkie Pie as an Alicorn. Maybe not quite as weird as how Discord looked. Or as weird as that chimera of Owlowiscious combined with Angel Bunny, Gummy, and Winona with Opal somehow as a tongue. This was a close third, second on a good day. "Sure Dream Pinkie, I'll race you! Where did you want to race to?"
"We're gonna race around the world! It's going to be so much fun, then I thought we could go pranking ponies later, then cupcakes, then some more flying, and-" Dash tiredly shoved a hoof in Pinkie's mouth. Even in her dreams Pinkie got a bit much at times. Dash yawned, "Okay, sounds awesome, let's go!"
Pinkie disappeared in a flash of pink. Dash grinned and spread her wings... and they would not stop spreading. Sweet Celestia this was a weird dream, her wings were huge! She flapped them and sped off in a chromatic flash.
She could make out Pinkie Pie now, but not much else, they were somehow already close to breaking the Rainboom barrier! Dash had never flown this fast before! Well, with the aid of gravity she had topped this, but never vertically! Yet somehow Pinkie was outpacing her by a bit! This made no sense. Her dreams were normally more awesome than this, was she really going to lose in her own dream? No, no she wasn't! She furrowed her brows, and then understanding dawned. Pinkie's horn was glowing, and the glow surrounded her whole body. Pinkie Pie was manipulating the air currents. She had a wind at her back! "Pinkie that's cheating!"
Pinkie giggled, looped back, and lazily flew circles around Dash. "You can do it too you know, probably better than I can! Just ask the wind to let you through, and carry you forward!"
"What do you mean Pinkie?" Even for a dream this was getting weird. Apparently her dreams knew how to cast spells, had she been hanging around Twilight too much lately?
"Just do it, think of the wind letting you pass through it without resistance, and pushing you along!"
Rainbow was confused, but who was she to argue with a dream? She concentrated, picturing the wind and clouds all parting to make way for the most awesome mare to ever grace the skies. Suddenly it was like she was riding a greased slide of liquid lightning. Everything blurred past her. Pinkie Pie grinned and flew alongside her, Dash could tell she was laughing but there was no sound. She'd just broken the sound barrier vertically, with little effort. She looked back, double rainboom... Pinkie's was pink, or course it was. She stopped to thank the pink mare for this wonderful dream.
Pinkie stopped with her. She grinned and hugged Rainbow Dash. She seemed so happy, of course Pinkie was always happy. Almost always. Pinkie whispered in her ear, "Wake up Dashie, you're an Alicorn!"
Rainbow Dash stared at Pinkie.
"What?!!"
Pinkie giggled. "Sorry Dashie, I couldn't resist playing along, you're not dreaming."
"Buh... I have to be! I have giant wings!"
Pinkie nodded.
"You have giant pink wings!"
Pinkie nodded more fiercely. "Yeppers!"
"You used magic!"
Pinkie smiled. "I know wasn't it cool?"
"I used magic!"
"Right!"
"How?!"
Pinkie frowned "That's a tough one to explain. Here, it's easier to show you."
Pinkie glanced about. "Ah! See that big fluffy cloud?"
"The cumulus?"
"Sure! Anyway, watch!"
Pinkie looked at the cloud, her horned glowed a soft pink. Soon, the cloud was a huge replica of Gummy.
Dash stared.
Pinkie grinned broadly. "Okay! Now ask me how I did it!"
"How did you do it?"
"No idea!" Pinkie somehow smiled even more widely.
Dash facehoofed. "Pinkie, why would you say it's tough to explain then?"
"Well have you ever tried to explain something you don't understand yourself? Like, how do you stand on clouds? How do you even fly when pegasus wings are so small? Look at the birds, their wings are about the same size as their body! Why is the word kumquat so funny? Why doesn't anypony take my questions seriously?"
Dash mulled that over. "Okay, fair enough. So you don't know how, do you know what you did to make that happen?"
"I told the cloud to make itself look like Gummy!"
"You... just... told it?"
"Uhuh!"
"Like you told me to tell the wind to let me pass through it, and push me along?"
"Yeppers!"
Dash looked up and barked orders to the sky. "Okay clouds, gather up single file!"
Pinkie giggled. "Not like that silly filly! You think real hard about what you want something to do, and it happens!"
Dash looked skeptical. "Sounds kinda nerdy, I've never been a mare who thinks a lot, I'm more about action you know?" She flexed her front legs to show off her muscles.
"Well that's how it works, at least that's how I made it work for me, I look at stuff and think and it happens!"
Dash looked at a nice wispy Cirrus high in the atmosphere. She thought about what she wanted it it do. The words "Rainbow Dash is the best pony!" showed clearly in the sky in mile wide letters.
Pinkie giggled loudly when she saw the words. "See Dashie? Easy!"
Rainbow gaped. "Easy peasy one two threesy..." was just barely audible.
Pinkie grinned again. "So you wanna race again Dashie? I really love flying with you. Or we could go pranking ponies again! Oooooo! I wanna see if I can make a cloud that makes chocolate rain! Hold on a second!"
Pinkie Pie looked at a cloud floating past her. Her horn glowed. The cloud turned dark and started raining frogs.
"Oopsie! I was thinking about the time Twilight was running from a hydra and how the water kinda looked like chocolate milk and all those frogs were there because Fluttershy brought them there to live and MMPHMPHUHMPH" Dash had heard enough and had shoved a hoof in Pinkie's mouth.
"Pinkie you just made frogs fall from the sky, we need to catch them or Fluttershy will be really upset, do you know how hard it is to splint a frog's leg?!"
Pinkie looked down, her horn glowed. A giant fluffy pillow materialized in the middle of town square. The Mayor was going to have a fit.
Dash nodded. "Okay no squashed frogs now, but maybe you could stop the cloud from raining frogs to begin with?"
"Oh yeah!" Pinkie looked at the cloud, it turned white and fluffy and drifted away.
"You sure I'm not dreaming?"
"Well... pretty sure, unless we're in the same dream anyway. That would be fun too! I usually dream about mountains of sugar though, this doesn't look much like my dream, do you want to see my dream Dashie?"
Dash ignored that for the moment, and thought for a bit, it kind of hurt. It was like stretching a muscle that, while healthy enough, did not see much use. She finally found an idea that she liked.
"So, pranking eh?" Dash grinned.
Celestia was just getting to the good part.
"So using our combined magics we remade the world for the sixteenth time that day, but then Discord sent his hordes of flying monkeys at us, we fended them off for days with our allies-" She broke off when Luna tapped her.
"Sister, I know you're enjoying detailing the War of Chaos versus Harmony, but I've been doing some calculations." She gestured to her abacus. "We have here two elements of Harmony, both newly made Alicorns in the same day. There is a ninety three point three three (repeating of course) percent chance we have four others to concern ourselves with. Now Fluttershy and Rarity hardly strike me as worrisome. Fluttershy is a reserved pony, she will likely be too busy with her animal friends to even concern herself with anything that has happened to her. Rarity on the other hoof, well let's be frank she would be far more concerned with updating her wardrobe to fit her new body shape. That being said, I recall Pinkie and Rainbow Dash as being quite fond of pranks. I think we may have trouble on our hooves if we don't go check on them."
Just then a member of the royal guard knocked, upon entering he addressed the princesses with a panicked look on his face.
"Your majesties, I am uncertain how, but it seems Discord has escaped! His statue remains unchanged, we had that checked when reports came in. However, we have received reports of raining frogs and a giant pillow in Ponyville. Furthermore, the Griffon ambassador reports clouds forming the words "Ponies rule griffons drool!" over their lands, they are most upset. Also there is a giant toothless alligator rampaging in Sweet Apple Acres. Finally the Equestrian mail service has been flooded with what seem to be party invitations addressed to everypony currently alive in Equestria!"
The princesses looked at each other and sighed heavily.
"Rarity, your feathers are making it hard to breath." a quiet voice said.
"Oh, my goodness Fluttershy, I am so sorry. They seem to have a life of their own." Rarity said, quite embarrassed at the faux pas.
"So you have them too? I tried flying over here and my wings were much bigger, much stronger, than ever. I flew way up high... then I got scared and fell. When I fell, the ground just caved in. I felt the impact, but it was like I just... absorbed it somehow."
"You poor dear! Your wings locked up again?"
"Yes, I don't know what is happening, it's very startling."
"I would imagine so... did anything else happen?"
"Ditzy was saying something about my hair glowing..."
Rarity grabbed a brush from a nearby stand "Hold still a moment Fluttershy, I have a theory." She parted Fluttershy long bangs and there on her forehead was a small budding horn, as one would see on a unicorn filly.
"As I thought, Fluttershy I don't know how or why but you and I have much more in common than a shared love of fine haute couture and spa treatments now. It also seems the next time we visit you should take them up on their horn filing services." Rarity chuckled a bit, remembering Lotus telling her about her sister's mistake.
"What do you mean, Rarity?"
"I mean if you like you could take lessons from Twilight now on basic spell casting, you've grown a horn dear."
"I've grown a horn, and giant wings... oh my." Fluttershy looked lost and a little frightened.
"It's not all bad dear, I've always wanted to join royalty. I just never imagined it would be quite this way."
"Don't tell me you've gotten back together with that Blueblood..."
"Oh no dear, perish the thought! No I mean the only ponies I know of with wings and a horn, excluding spells of course, are the princesses." Rarity's eyes flashed a bit, Princess Rarity, it had a nice ring to it.
Fluttershy quailed, court appearances, audiences, and the press... No, never again. "Rarity, we should ask Twilight about this, it can't be normal to just change race. I mean that should be impossible..."
Something had clicked in Fluttershy's head, Pinkie's party invitation. She had discounted the party theme as Pinkie being Pinkie, and yet here sat two ponies who seemed to be Alicorns for all intents and purposes. Wings? Check. Horns? Check.
"Rarity we should definitely check with Twilight about this, Pinkie Pie sent me an invitation today, she called it-" Here Fluttershy pulled out the invitation she had tucked away. "her "I woke up this morning and now I'm an Alicorn" party."
"Oh I hadn't gotten an invitation for that, I wonder if Miss Doo is running late?"
"Ditzy had a satchel stuffed with them, Pinkie invited everypony in Ponyville."
"Oh how lovely, I do love Pinkie's parties. Even if she does get a bit trying at times."
Fluttershy nodded. "The party is not the point, my point is three of us have become something we weren't yesterday. The last time that happened we were all suffering from poison joke. What causes you to suddenly change into an Alicorn? We need Twilight to figure this out. We should also go talk to Pinkie Pie, Twilight may want to study all of us." Fluttershy shuddered a bit at that, but this was all too odd, somepony needed to explain what was going on.
Pinkie Pie hummed happily as party decorations flew around the room covered in a soft pink glow. Dashie was off trying to see how quickly she could fly around the world, but she'd promised to be back in time for the party. The Cakes had stammered they were going to visit Cup's mother for a while and had left Pinkie in charge of things for a few weeks.
She toyed with the idea of trying to shift space on the inside of the shop, she expected a lot of guests and it might be useful to have more space for ponies to party in. She wondered just how many people did live in Equestria and how much she would have to twist space to fit them all. She knew it was possible, after all that blue box Doctor Hooves showed up in at times was huge on the inside. Did she remember to send him an invitation? Was he a part of everypony in Equestria? She'd better check.
There was a knock on the front door. Pinkie opened it with a thought.
"Pinkie Pie? Hello?" Rarity's voice drifted into the room.
"Come in silly filly! I am in here, getting the party ready!"
Rarity and Fluttershy walked into the room.
"The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails fluttered around on the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium were tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and the preserved flesh of past ponies."
Pinkie I swear to Celestia... stop messing with the storyline, we're not doing grimdark here.
"You're no fun!"
The room was decorated with what you would normally expect of any of Pinkie's parties. The most noticeable difference was the common theme of all the decorations. Paper wings and tacks taped to each balloon, the balloons were separated by about a foot between. Popped balloons on the ground pointed out the reason for the separation, taping sharp objects onto balloons seemed an unwise idea. The "Pin the tail on the pony" game had been modified, the tails pile now included felt wings and horns. The Pinata had similar modifications.
Pinkie smiled so widely it seemed she must have been using magic to make it fit her face as Fluttershy and Rarity walked in. "OHMYGOSH both of you too? Dashie is gonna be so happy when she gets back!"
Luna and Celestia mulled this news over.
Celestia nodded. "Damage control sister, the griffons have taken a liking to you since they respect your... ahem... darker reputation. Can you please explain to them we have a misguided prankster on our hooves and this is not a declaration of hostilities?"
Luna looked slightly embarrassed, but nodded. "Very well sister, I trust you will be heading to Ponyville since it seems to be the center of our remaining problems?"
Celestia looked relieved. "Exactly Lu, I'll need to send a few letters first, but the griffons cannot be ignored while we tend to these developments."
Luna rose. "Be careful Celly, these ponies have had power thrust on them unwillingly, do not be overly harsh in your judgement of their actions."
Celestia looked annoyed. "Of course Lu, these are the Elements of Harmony. I don't blame them for acting like foals with a new toy, but like any foal they need to be kept from playing ball in the house."
Luna laughed a bit. "You never did forgive me for breaking the wings off that statue..."
Celestia snorted. "Long forgotten Lu, the Venus de Equilo is regarded as the most famous and beautiful statue of a unicorn ever created. Only you and I seem to recall it was originally modeled after me."
Luna scoffed. "Whose fault is that sister? Who approves the textbooks for each generation?"
Celestia tried to look angry, and totally failed. "Go, and come back to me quickly Lu."
Luna nuzzled Celestia, then followed the guard as he left the room.
Celestia turned to Spike. "Spike, I'll need you to take a few letters down to these ponies...
In a study in Celestia's room for Gifted Unicorns a wizened old stallion with a question mark on his flank saw a scroll appear in a ball of magical fire.
The pony set his work aside, the grading would have to wait. Letters from the Princess were not to be placed in the IN box.
"Professor,
We would like to personally thank you for your years of service, your research has brought about some immeasurable advances in magic theory. To this end we must beg your indulgence in a certain matter we discussed some years ago. We... were not entirely truthful with you with regards to the total number of ponies which have undergone Alicornication in the past. This omission was not done in malice, but rather in embarrassment, and a wish to not defame some dear friends of our past. However it seems we must research the phenomenon again. We have six new subjects for you to study. We ask that you accompany us in our carriage to Ponyville, we will disclose further details on the way.
Your Apologetic Ruler,
Professor Howe Cann (PHD magical studies) laid the missive aside. He gathered a few notes from a file that had long gathered dust, and prepared to join his sovereign.
He paused, and quickly penned a missive. He laid it in his OUT box, it would be retrieved shortly by his intern.
"Thissdens,
You owe me fifty bits you old coot, I told you she was holding back!
Howe."
Pinkie listened with interest to Fluttershy and Rarity. She comforted Fluttershy the moment the mare got to the point in the tale about falling from such a height. "I don't think you need to worry about flying so much anymore 'shy, it sounds like you can take a fall just fine."
Fluttershy just looked a bit frightened at the memory. "Thank you Pinkie. I think we need to find Twilight and ask her what to do. This is just not normal!"
Pinkie patted Fluttershy on the head. "Don't worry 'shy, your Auntie Pinkie Pie has that covered.
Fluttershy muttered a bit about being a year older but said nothing.
Pinkie triumphantly produced a scroll with the royal seal.
She intoned.
"Dear Pinkie Pie,
We have heard of the party you have planned to celebrate your having awoken as a goddess. We wish to RSVP, we will be attending with our faithful student. Also in attendance will be Applejack, who saw fit to come visit us. We ask that you keep your activities confined to the party until we arrive.
Looking forward to the celebration,
Pinkie grinned. "See? You don't need to look for Twilight, she's coming here!"
Fluttershy sighed in relief.
There was a sudden pop above Fluttershy's head, a scroll unfurled and Fluttershy caught it, using magic reflexively.
"Dear Fluttershy,
Please do not read this aloud, we have a task for you. Pinkie has played a little prank and sent a rampaging alligator to go play in Sweet Apple Acres, could you please go calm the poor dear down before he hurts himself trying to gum apple trees? Leave Rarity there if you would, somepony needs to watch Pinkie Pie and ensure she doesn't get up to more mischief.
Your grateful Sovereign,
P.S. Applejack sends her thanks, and asks if you can tell Applebloom she will be late for supper."
Fluttershy read this. "Rarity, can you join me outside for a moment?"
Rarity paused from her examination of the details of the room. She really did need to talk to Pinkie about her choice in decor. The motif was cute but now that she knew royalty was coming it hardly seemed appropriate, perhaps some royal blues and gold streamers... "Oh, of course dear!"
Fluttershy followed her outside, once she was fairly certain she was out of earshot she told Rarity what the letter had said.
Rarity's eyes widened. "That would explain why Gummy wasn't here latched onto her mane as per usual... Well, I will certainly try to keep Pinkie occupied while you tend to this matter."
Fluttershy nodded in thanks. She spread her wings (So large! She really needed to get used to that...) and took off for Sweet Apple Acres. At least it wasn't a dragon this time... "I hope he had a nap before she sent him off to play, Gummy gets cranky without a nap..."
Fluttershy looked down, her mind not wanting to come to grips with what she was seeing.
The trip to Sweet Apple Acres had taken next to no time. That being said, it still did her heart no favors, everything had seemed to rush past her far faster than she was comfortable with.
She had arrived to see Pinkie's pet chewing on a tall Granny Smith tree. He looked approximately fifty hooves in length, and stood about 15 hooves tall. She could just make out Applebloom smacking Gummy's foot with a broom. "Get off there Gummy! Those're our trees!"
Gummy paid no attention to the broom, his scales barely conveyed any real sensation from it. He was far more interested in the taste of this object in his mouth, it was leafy and sweet, very unlike the spongy things the pink one fed him.
Fluttershy was very upset with Pinkie seeing this. She had heard of the pranks Pinkie and Rainbow had pulled on Rarity (She had never experienced them herself) however she was always assured by Rarity they had made a point not to hurt anypony. She could perhaps see how a giant alligator would be deemed funny but this was very unfair to Gummy. He had no idea what was going on and was clearly just acting on instinct, hunting for things to bite. More to the point, despite the lack of teeth, a giant alligator could do real damage just by wandering around!
She dove and hovered before the large lumbering lizard. His eyes swiveled about, but one faced her. She stared, saying nothing. He opened his mouth and stopped gumming the tree.
There, that was one problem solved, for the moment anyway. A bigger problem remained however, how to get him back to Sugarcube Corner. If only he were smaller...She wondered how Pinkie Pie had done this to begin with.
Gummy was surrounded by a soft yellow glow, and within moments he was back to normal size. Having broken eye contact with Fluttershy he was now attempting to eat Applebloom's broom.
Taking this development in stride (it was hardly the oddest thing to happen today and certainly the most welcome) Fluttershy landed beside the foal. Applebloom had gone from staring at the shrinking alligator to staring at the yellow pegasus with the giant wings and the tiny little horn growing from her forehead.
"T-thank you Fluttershy, you stopped him cold! Stare master strahkes agin!" She looked up admiringly.
"You're welcome, I have to get this little one home, he clearly needs a nap. Oh, and Applejack said to tell you she would be late for dinner. You should run to your home now, its getting late for little foals to be out."
"Yes ma'am, tell mah sis dinner will be waitin'." Applebloom ran off.
Professor Cann arrived at Celestia's private chariot dock. The guards allowed him pass when they were shown the royal summons. He spotted Celestia... and was that really Twilight Sparkle next to her? This was an interesting development...
The other pony he recognized as the Element of Honesty... Applejack he believed her name was. He had not had the pleasure of meeting her in person but had been present at the celebration which had taken place after the "Discord Incident." He had also watched the Elements' excellent performance of the "Tale of Hearth's Warming Eve." He knew for a fact Applejack was an earth pony, but those were clearly wings at her side... It seemed Twilight had acquired the same affliction... Curiouser and curiouser...
So, two of the Element bearers had become alicorns on the same day? It seemed the Elements themselves needed study.
He spoke up in a stentorian voice. "Ms. Sparkle! Name the three components of teleportation !"
Twilight panicked as if she had been caught passing notes. "Compression, Sending, Reconstitution! It's an advanced form of the scrollfire spell developed by Clover the Clever fifty years after the founding!"
The professor chuckled. "Always quick with the answer Twilight! Now let's see if we can't find the right questions to be asking eh?"
Celestia had brought him up to speed on the way. He asked the occasional pointed question and nodded in satisfaction when the answers were given.
He tapped his hoof to his chin thoughtfully. "This explains so much Celestia!" (The princess had long ago asked him to dispense with titles while investigating Alicornication.) "I do wish you'd been more forthcoming about this when Thisdenns and I were researching it in the first place, at your request I might add."
Celestia winced a bit. "I hardly could have predicted what the Elements would do to ordinary ponies Professor!"
Cann nodded. "True, but we may have been able to study the Elements, see what kind of magic we were dealing with. Then again they were inert at the time Ms. Sparkle retrieved them during the Nightmare Moon incident... I suppose I can forgive you your secrets Celestia. Please, in the future, full disclosure when you wish me to research something? I cannot be expected to find the answers when the best source of information is a closed locked book."
Celestia nodded. "Again, I apologize for the omission. We will be arriving in Ponyville shortly. Three of your remaining tests subjects will be at the party, that leaves only Rainbow Dash to account for."
Just then, a streak of chromatic light could be made out in the distance, the sky tearing open in its path and snapping shut in turbulent waves in it's wake. A sound followed three seconds later.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!"
Applejack looked annoyed. Twilight seemed excited.
Cann raised one eyebrow. "I believe that's your missing pony?"
Celestia tapped the carriage front, the pegasi guards slowed to a hover. "Excuse me a moment." With that her wings flared up and she streaked after the trail of light.
Sergeant Swift Arrow whispered to Captain Agile Race as both of them watched their charge flying off. "Why does she need us again?"
The Captain muttered something that made the Sergeant's ears burn.
Celestia sped towards the streak of colors. She couldn't help but grin wildly, she hadn't really stretched her wings in centuries. Her advisers insisted she be carted everywhere, apparently the people felt their Princess should be pampered. She snorted in derision, she could out fly any of the pegasi on her staff. Only one alive had given her pause recently, the mare she was chasing now.
She had truly admired this mare's ability, the Sonic Rainboom was legendary for a reason. Pegasi had strived for it for centuries, little realizing the origin of the legend had not been a pegasus at all. Celestia did not wish to spoil anypony's dreams, it took her powerful wings and magic to do it. Or it had, until the Element of loyalty looked down to see a friend in danger. That single act had outclassed every other competitor in the Best Young Flyers competition, even allowing for her earlier flubs crashing into cloud columns and nearly destroying Celestia's own viewing box with that spinning cloud. Celestia could have gone after Rarity herself that day, and in fact had sent the Wonderbolts to help initially, but when she'd seen the signs of the cone forming at Rainbow's muzzle her attention had been rapt. Could she do it? Could an ordinary pegasus break the barrier?
She tried to remember... had Tornado been this fast? She couldn't recall if she was or not. She held a hope in her heart, a bit selfish really, but it had been so long since she'd really had a challenge. Celestia had not raced in eons, but her muscles did what they had always done when she prepared for a race. She flexed her great wings, then she examined the cyan mare streaking across the sky exclaiming in delight. A fine pegasi, yes; a wonderful friend, no question; courageous, without a doubt. But could she race? Really race? Please, Celestia thought. It has been so long since I have been tested, let this mare test me. Let her be a glorious racer. Let her be both quick and fast, smart and agile. Give her a matchless mind for tactics, stunts the equal of mine. Please, please, it’s been so long: let her be a master!
Rainbow Dash looked back, she could make out a pursuer... Pinkie Pie? No, Pinkie had quickly grown bored with racing, she had a party to plan. "Hey, whoever you are, if you think you can keep up with me you've got another thing coming!"
Celestia had to smile. No one had directly challenged her in so long and it was thrilling! She let the cyan mare maintain her lead, let her build up courage, dodging gracefully between the clouds, letting her wings alone maintain the distance. Then her horn glowed and she was behind the nearest cloud, the cyan mare had not expected it and was slow reacting. Celestia flashed immediately out from the cloud, spiraling in a barrel roll around Dash, and the mare slowed, faltered, got her equilibrium, continued moving away.
Dash looked back. "Celestia? Oh this is gonna be good! Okay princess, you want a race you got it!"
Celestia was impressed with the quickness of the return. Most mares the size of Rainbow Dash would have gone down in a nosedive or, at the least, been severely impaired by the wake of her air currents. The mare did neither; she simply adjusted, gave a mighty beat to accelerate through the wake, and continued flying.
They were moving parallel to a giant cloud-bank now, and the fluffy clouds pegasi would normally gather for larger storms were behind them, mostly. The mare was slowly being led toward a group of large storm clouds, for Celestia was anxious to see how well she moved when quarters were close, when you could not maneuver with total freedom. She continued to lead, and then the clouds were surrounding them. Celestia suddenly threw her body against a nearby cloud, rebounded off it with stunning force, lunging with incredible speed.
She had hurt the mare's pride, tickling her with her wing, along the left side. A touch was all. But it was humiliating. Immediately the mare increased her speed, getting her position away from the storm system, getting out into the open air. Celestia raced on, not bothering to try to check the other mare's flight; there would always be time for that later.
Then Rainbow pulled off a set of stunning tricks, they came with no warning and the speed and intensity were terrifying. Her wings flashed in the light again and again, Celesta was only too delighted to watch.
She was not entirely familiar with the style of the stunts. She could hear the mare chanting their names as she performed them.
Rainbow Dash sped about, showing off for the princess that had just outperformed every show the Wonderbolts had ever done. "Here's the "Super Speed Strut"!" she said, moving at a speed only another Alicorn could match, much less follow visually, and casually strutting her legs as she did so.
"The Fantastic Filly Flash!" Here she rose high into the air and dove into a nose-dive, She recovered and her sudden acceleration created a flash in her wake.
"Here's one I just thought of! I call it the "Sonic Tornado Boom", okay the name needs work but just watch!"
She began by flying at a dizzying speed in a circular motion, creating a raging tornado from the surrounding clouds. Somehow the tornado had rainbows flowing throughout it. It made for a beautiful, if somewhat terrifying, sight. Dash rose high into the air and dove into the center at a previously unheard of speed. At the center of the raging tornado she broke the sound barrier with such force it seemed to rip the air itself. Celestia could smell ozone and see clouds bursting out of the formation in an explosion of sound and color.
She then spotted a cyan mare falling to the ground.
She sped to her and caught her gently. "Gotcha!" She whispered. "Come, my little pony, we have a party to attend."
Author's note:
Large portions of this chapter are an adaption to the sword fight in the novel The Princess Bride: a 1973 fantasy novel written by William Goldman. No plagiarism is intended, I simply think that scene is made of pure awesome and I wanted to write something racing and stunt related similar to it.
The interdimensional party
Rarity had no idea how Pinkie Pie had done it. She'd been watching while Pinkie had warped space, and yet the magics involved seemed impossible. Somehow or other Pinkie had not just made the room bigger... Oh no, that would have made far too much sense. She'd decided she was going to find the biggest party currently in existence and invite herself, and all of Equestria, to that instead.
So... here she stood, in a room with the universe's most fanatical party-goers ever. The party in question had been going on for six generations now. Tales abounded of the last set of party crashers, which had included a Norse God, whatever that was... Also a boring group looking for a Major Award of some sort (what exactly was a Belgium and why was it so courageous to use the word that you were given an award?) The biggest story was of the lethal white robots who had teleported into the center of the party, taken the award, and left it shocked and wounded like a mugging victim in the middle of a meadow of wildflowers. What exactly a mugging was, or a robot, she could not guess, but the whole thing sounded dreadfully rude.
Apparently after that somepony had sobered up enough to make the whole party space-worthy, and since nopony had thought it a good idea to add directional controls, it had drifted for some time before arriving at a wormhole. Everypony had found themselves with a new equine shape. At first the lack of grip had caused difficulty. Then everypony remembered it wasn't exactly easy to maintain a grip on a drink when you were constantly plastered, and all was right with the universe once again.
Pinkie had somehow talked one of the more coherent guests into allowing her to move the whole mess to Equestria... or had somehow linked the two... Rarity had given up on the day making any kind of sense. She simply knew you stepped into a broom closet and could exit from Sugarcube Corner's front door and if you stepped into Sugarcube Corner you found yourself entering this location via a broom closet.
She wandered around the ponies and... was that bush talking to a pony?
She decided this was not really a very productive line of thought. She looked in the direction of the drinks table and suddenly felt the answers to most of her questions would be found at the bottom of a few empty glasses of wine. Or, at the very least, having reached the bottom she would cease to worry about them in the first place.
Yes, that was an idea she was prepared to cope with.
Pinkie Pie was manning all the instruments of the band while they went over sheet music for a few new songs. She spotted a face she had been watching for and, leaving the instruments to continue playing themselves, bounded over.
"Doctor! You're early! I mean that's okay of course but I set the invitations for eight and its barely seven now." She grinned looking at his cutie mark. "For a stallion who's talent is timing yours can be way off sometimes!"
"Pinkie Pie! My goodness, what are you doing here? My, that's a new look for you isn't it? Smashing! Now what's this about an invitation?" The Doctor looked a bit nonplussed but nevertheless pleased to see the party mare, her anatomical difficulties notwithstanding.
"I sent them out today silly-billy! You mean you showed up even though you had no idea why?" Pinkie grinned at the idea, still a guest was a guest even if he unintentionally crashed what he had already been invited to.
"I see..." Whooves thought back. Oh bloody hell, there had been an invite, he'd finally been in Ponyville long enough to check his mail and the invitation had missed him by about six months. "Time you're a right pain in the flank sometimes..." He muttered.
Still this did explain why the old girl had brought him here. Pinkie Pie was not in this form when he'd last seen her, or will next see her, or would possibly see her... damn tenses never could keep up with time travel. The point was, or is, something was about to happen, and it had to play out a certain way or things would go very badly for all concerned. He had to word this carefully, or the events would repeat themselves, only this time with himself as the instigator. Nightmare Pie would destroy the world again.
"Pinkie I need you to listen to me very carefully. In a couple of moments your princess and friends will be by to collect you. You will go with them. You will not, I repeat you will NOT be inconveniencing your guests, this party has been going on for centuries and won't be ending anytime soon. Great things are ahoof and your friends will need your help. Do you understand?"
Pinkie's mane showed the first signs of deflating. "But..."
"Pinkie! None of that now! Stay with me, everypony will be happy! I promise you, you'll be needed more by your friends!" He gave her a look that would rival Fluttershy.
Her hair regained it's bounce. "Okie-dokie-loki Doctor!"
Whooves looked relieved. "Good, now I need to go tend to something while you look at that obvious distraction!" He pointed in the direction he wanted Pinkie to look and disappeared into the crowd.
Pinkie looked back in the Doctor's direction, but he was gone. "Nice seeing you Doctor!" She called in the direction she thought he might have gone.
The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. The universe being torn asunder by an enraged pink mare with partius interuptus was a hell of a way for everypony to go.
Pinkie bounded over to the drinks table to see how Rarity was doing.
"Piey Pink! Err no that other thing. Thiss is wonderrful. You are my bess friend for inviting me. I love you you pink ball of cotton candy you know that?"
Pinkie glanced at her friend and the collection of glasses surrounding her. She focused a moment, and a soft pink glow enveloped her friend.
Rarity gasped, then looked around in confusion. "Oh hello Pinkie, when did you get here?"
Pinkie gave her friend a hug. "C'mon Rarity, sounds like we have to go save the world... again!"
"Really? Do I get to know from what?"
"Celestia will tell us in a bit, we should go wait outside."
Bonus Chapter: Nightmare Pie
Author's note: The following chapter is what I envisioned would happen in a world where Princess Pinkamina snapped. It is not part of the main narrative of the story, and can be ignored if you so choose. It is mild grimdark.
"Anywhere! Anywhen!" Whooves shouted to his voice module unit.
The Tardis began it's trip through time, Whooves sighed in relief.
She'd done it, that insane bitch had actually done it! How had it all gone so wrong?
He should have seen what was happening. He hadn't wanted to believe the Element of Laughter could fall so far.
He slammed a hoof on the console, the machinery whined in protest.
"Nopony knows how to have fun anymore!" Pinkie pouted.
Twilight sighed. They'd been over this so many times. "Pinkie you can't force ponies to have a good time, these are stuffy old aristocrats, of course they don't have fun the same way you do."
"Nothing I try works! I've been holding the Galas for ten years now, every single time it's horrible!" Pinkie's mane, which was normally a fluffy flowing cloud, was now looking more like a pink river. It sometimes amused, sometimes alarmed Twilight how much her mane had come to resemble the cotton candy clouds Discord had made. The connection especially worried her when Pinkie was upset.
"Just keep that smile up Pinkie, if anyone can make them happy, it's you."
Pinkie said nothing.
The following year Twilight had made time from her studies to check in on Pinkie.
"Come on everypony smile, smile, smile."
The whole dance hall was filled with dancing ponies. A grin frozen on each face. They danced with shuffling feet, their eyes glazed.
"fill my heart up with sunshine, sunshine"
Voices rose, but there was no joy in them, there was no emotion. In the center was Pinkie, her horn glowing, a look of contentment on her face. Her mane flowed. Her eye twitched.
"all I really need's a smile, smile, smile"
Ponies were collapsing from exhaustion. Only to be held up by a pink glow to dance and sing some more.
"From these happy friends of mine."
"Pinkie!" Twilight shouted.
"I did it Twilight! I made them smile! You said I could do it and I did it!" Pinkie's eye twitched again.
"Pinkie stop this, please!"
"You don't understand, I made everypony happy!"
Her mane was a dark, flowing pink. Her eyes flashed. She stared enraged at the seven ponies surrounding her.
"None of you understand, ponies need to be happy, I MAKE THEM HAPPY!"
Celestia stood firm. "Pinkie you cannot control ponies, they need to live their lives. Happy or sad they need to be free to be who they are!"
"They don't know what they need! I give them what they need!"
"Pinkie please, you need help! Let us help you!" Twilight pleaded with her.
"If you want to help me help me make them all smile!"
"Get ahold of yourself girl! You can't really think you can force ponies to be happy!" Applejack struck Pinkie in the face with her hoof.
Pinkie was silent for a time. Then the horrible laughter began.
"PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT I CAN BRING THEM SUNSHINE!" Her horn glowed so bright it rivaled the sun, which was suddenly moving directly to the spot she stood. There was no reaction time possible for anypony.
The world ended in a laugh.
Whooves stared at the display on his console. The world was engulfed in the flames of Celestia's Sun.
From the center of the mass he saw a pink abomination. He could hear her laughter, see the madness in her eyes. Seven lights converged on her, so the rest were fighting back. What point now? Equestria was done.
He turned the display off and grimaced. Good lord he needed a stiff drink.
"Old girl, I need to go someplace to think. Think and drink, no strike that and reverse it. Let's crash a party what do you say?"
Fluttershy banked sharply, careful not to wake the sleeping alligator.
She spotted Rarity and Pinkie below. She gently landed.
"Pinkie I need to have a word with you about proper pet care. It's not polite to change your pet's size then send them to go play, somepony could have been hurt."
"Oh, you found him! Gummy you're a naughty boy! Sorry Fluttershy, one stray thought about wishing he would grow up just a little and suddenly I had a giant alligator on my hooves. He kept biting at my wings, they are really sensitive!"
"Oh, I see... well you should still be more careful with him."
Fluttershy spoke in aside to Rarity. "Did you two finish the party preparation?"
Rarity shook her head a bit, vague images of ponies with multiple heads and talking plant life were dulled by recollection tinted with a heavy haze. What had that pony with the two heads and five legs called it? The... Pan... something. Until Pinkie had done... whatever she had done she had felt much like her brain had been smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. "In a manner of speaking, Pinkie found a party already in progress and adopted it since nopony else seemed to want it."
Fluttershy seemed pleased. "That was nice of her. Should we go in?"
Rarity shook her head again, but the sense just didn't seem to want to return to her day. "I wouldn't recommend it dear, it's a bit... startling."
Pinkie seemed focused on something in the sky. "Earflop, eye twitch, twitchy tail. Girls, we have exposition coming!"
"-and then I got to the library, but Twilight had already left, took a big piece of the floor an' a couple bookshelves with her."
"Six and a half to be precise." Twilight looked embarrassed.
"I don't think he cares about the durn books Twi'. So I spotted a letter on the ground-"
Applejack looked hesistant.
"Twi' sorry but I was trying to figure out where you'd gone off to. I read Celestia's message about sending a carriage."
"I understand, I bet you were worried."
"Durn right I was, but then I remember wishing I could give you a piece of my mind about this whole mess. Things kept happening around me an' I had a big set a wings I didn't want. No offense or nothing Twi' but the last time that happened it was your fault. Plus I figured if it weren't maybe you could figure out what the hay was going on anyway. So I got kinda irritated then everything went all orange on me."
The professor nodded. "I see, so you teleported completely by accident to Canterlot."
"Guess so Prof, dunno how exactly, but I was there then I was in front of Twi'."
"Prior to that you'd only moved an apple and a door?"
"Well not on purpose, I just got kinda mad at em and they moved for me."
"Fascinating, We'd never even considered an earth pony undergoing this change, I always thought it would be solely unicorns because of their natural affinity to magic. Thissdens insisted it would be possible for a pegasus to do so as well. Our research was halted by a falling out over the direction it would take."
"What's wrong with earth ponies?" Applejack looked a bit angry.
"Nothing! Don't mistake me, it's not so much that an earth pony was incapable of it. The three races all have powerful magic at their disposal. It comes partially to will, partially to talent. A unicorn has no innate magic, so all of the magic they are born with can be directed into spells."
"Pegasi magic is... different. It's partially innate, that's what keeps them from falling from clouds. A large portion, however, is will based. A skilled pegasus can do more than simply move a cloud, they can manipulate clouds to make storms, and lightning. Some can manipulate the air itself. The act of flight itself is will based, the wings on a pegasus are far too small to ever hope to lift them. Speed is somewhat controlled by wing size, but largely by the pegasus in question moving the air around them. Most of them are unaware of what they are doing, Thissdens was an expert. That was why I sought him out for Celestia's study."
"Earth pony magic is entirely innate. Merely walking in a field you can encourage growth. Your magic encourages life and health to all things that surround you. That is why you heal so quickly, and why earth ponies tend to make the best nurses while unicorns tend to make the best doctors. The magic flows through your body, making you far stronger than the other two races. It also makes it possible for you to do things like buck trees without breaking your own legs, the magic inside you bolsters your endurance."
"So why didn't ya think an earth pony could be one of the ones that changed?"
"Thissdens and I theorized if a unicorn or pegasus were powerful enough the magic inside would trigger a change that caused them to become an alicorn. We based this on the fact they were the only two races to use magic intentionally. An earth pony's innate magic would grow no more powerful over time, it being sort of like a muscle that was never really used. Unicorn and Pegasi can become more powerful over time by practicing their respective magics intentionally."
"Prof... yer an idiot." Applejack smirked.
"Applejack! Be nice, this is a very respected member of the magical studies circle-"
"He's also a durned fool. If what you're saying is true then earth pony magic durn sure does get stronger. Every Applebuck season I can buck more trees easier than the last, and my trees grow better for me now too."
Cann nodded, abashed. "It's true, we overlooked an important area of study. I also regret my falling out with Thissdens over his theory of the pegasi transformation."
Celestia came into view. Rainbow Dash flew beside her.
"-can't believe some of the stuff you pulled princess! You were just amazing! You're a truly fantastic flier!"
"I ought to be, after two thousand years my little pony." Celestia chuckled.
Cann stared at Rainbow, his face fell. He groaned.
Celestia and Rainbow entered the carriage.
"Celestia... was I a good student?" Cann asked in all seriousness.
"Of course Cann, why do you ask?"
"Was I a good pony overall? Did I ever wrong you in any way I wasn't aware of?"
"You have always been a wonderful pony Professor!"
"Perhaps my ancestors irritated you?"
"Cann I love all my subjects why do you keep asking these questions?"
"I just cannot understand what I might have done to deserve this. This is clearly one of my test subjects, and I can see she began life as a pegasus."
"Why yes, Rainbow Dash is the element of loyalty."
Dash looked angry. "You got a problem with pegasi pal?"
Cann waved a hoof. "Not in the least, but now I have a problem. I need somepony's help and I just sent them a snarky letter gloating over a stupid bet I made with them in anger two decades ago."
"Howey what did you do?" Celestia looked concerned.
Cann blushed at the use of her nickname. "The worst part is he bet me five hundred bits I'd come back for his help one day!"
Author's Note: Hey look at that, 14 chapters in and I almost have my other professor in the story proper.
Cann buried his head in his hooves. "Celestia when you asked me to investigate the possibility of spontaneous Alicornication, I realized a problem very quickly, how does a unicorn research flight and pegasi magic? I needed an expert, that's why I asked Thissdens to collaborate with me. You were the only Alicorn in existence at the time, and while you were expert at spell craft, you weren't exactly forthcoming about the pegasi aspect of your magic."
Celestia blushed. "Luna was always better at weather and wind manipulation, I enjoyed flying but my talents tended more towards spell craft."
"Interesting, I'll likely want to pick Luna's brain at some point. However, getting back to the problem at hoof, I felt the problem of a pony reaching alicornhood was two-fold. First, identifying if it were even possible. Second, distributing information for ponies thus afflicted to help them cope with it."
"Miss Sparkle here is the perfect example of what I wished to prepare for, a powerful unicorn having to deal with the issues of more magical strength than she has ever conceived, coupled the problems of how to learn how to fly when you've never had a set of wings in your life."
"Miss Applejack represents a new problem, but not an insurmountable one. Teaching an earth pony to use the gifts of flight and magic. She has nothing to unlearn, no preconceptions, she is a blank slate. Furthermore, enhanced earth pony magic, being passive, is unlikely to be destructive."
"Rainbow here... is the problem. She is a powerful practitioner of pegasi magic. I could no more help her with what she needs to know than a fish could teach a bird to breath water."
"Why is that professor?" Twilight looked puzzled.
"Magic is as magic does Miss Sparkle. Miss Dash here can be taught to use magic in the way a unicorn does, but she will be inclined to use pegasi magic first and foremost. Uncontrolled and enhanced pegasi magic would be every bit as devastating as unicorn magic. Perhaps more so in its way."
"Professor don't we all have that capacity now? To control weather and winds I mean?"
"Yes Twilight, but like any foal you don't have the knowledge necessary. You'll need training to do much with it, and like Celestia you may find it's not truly your forte."
Dash, in the meantime, was attempting to remain awake in the wake of all the "egghead" discussions. She decided she would speak up and at least direct some of this nonsense into an answer or two for her interests. "Yo prof, this friend of yours, he a good flyer?"
Cann turned to Dash. He chuckled a bit. "He flies well enough I suppose, considering his doctors insisted he never would in his life."
Dash turned her head in confusion. "What?"
"My friend's talent came about because of a fierce determination to prove everypony else wrong. It's a habit that never left him in academia."
Dash turned to Twilight, eyes crossed. "Psst, can you translate?"
"He says his friend is stubborn and doesn't like to lose."
"Oh! Why didn't he say so?"
"He did."
Dash turned back to the professor. "So he trains a lot?"
"He... does in a manner of speaking. His wings have never served him well, so he was forced to find ways to compensate for his shortcomings. He found ways to directly control the inherent magic of the pegasi whereas others had previously only made use of it innately."
Dash looked helplessly at Twilight again.
Twilight sighed. "Dash, I keep telling you, there is more out there to read than Daring Do! He said his friend had a disability, probably stunted wings or something, so he had to learn how pegasi magic works and use that to help out."
"Okay, so he can teach me how to fly... even faster?"
"Among other things yes. Thissdens doesn't have the sheer magic reserves of an alicorn, but that stallion knows more about weather manipulation than any pegasi currently alive."
"So he can help me do what exactly? Learn how to kick clouds better?"
"When Thisdenns is through with you, you'll be able to orchestrate the skies like a conductor in a pit. With a wave of your hoof you'll form and dispel storm systems. The skies will be your canvas."
Dash turned to Twilight. Twilight groaned. "Yes Dash, his friend apparently knows how to kick clouds."
"NO AMBASSADOR YOU LISTEN! YOU WILL NOT THREATEN MY SUBJECTS. THIS WAS THE SOLE ACT OF A PRANKSTER. YOU WILL CONVEY THIS TO THE GRIFFON COUNCIL. HAVE WE MADE OURSELVES CLEAR?"
"... One moment your majesty, I think I may be deaf. Oh, there we are, I can hear ringing now."
"We are most sorry for our outburst. We have had a complication regarding a few of our subjects. They will be tended to. Please accept my assurances the accords with your people remain in place. The messages were not a declaration of hostilities."
"Very well Princess, I will assure my people the matter is tended to."
"We thank thee. Now we must take our leave of thee. We apologize for any indignity this may have caused thee."
Luna stood up, As she did so the telltale flash of scroll-fire sending appeared.
"Lu,
I need you to travel to Cloudsdale and locate Professor Hugh Thisdenns. It seems Cann will need his help with the six.
Love,
Professor Hugh B. Thisdenns sat in his office at the center for Pegasi magic studies at Cloudsdale University. He was looking over the plans for a machine design which seemed to serve no practical purpose.
"Why in the Nine Sorrel Hells would we need a machine to make rainbows?"
He sighed, and rested his eyes for a moment. Why, dear Celestia, why did his department seem to attract so many slackers? The study of pegasi magic had allowed him the power of flight. If he, a pegasus with only one functional wing (He had been born with a malformed stump on his left side) could learn to fly just by manipulating how the air moved what would a fully functional pegasus do with it? Every idiot in his class seemed to think it was going to be an easy A.
He had seen enough, the pegasus that had given him the plans had wanted feedback, he decided that would be an excellent way to get out a little frustration.
"Ms Dawn.
While I appreciate your creativity, your plans are incredibly flawed. Rainbows do not need to be manufactured, there is a plentiful supply. I sincerely hope you were joking, because the idea of extracting pigment from live ponies is clearly insane. Your assurances that the process would not be lethal notwithstanding, why on earth would you want to rob somepony of their colors to make something that occurs naturally? Please direct your talents elsewhere.
Hugh B. Thissdens"
Satisfied, he pulled the next note from his IN box.
He snorted, enraged. "Cann we haven't spoken civilly in five years and you have the gall to claim you want to collect a bet we never even shook on?"
A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts of petty vengeance on his colleague.
"Yes? Come in!"
A guard in dark metal armor stepped in. "Announcing her royal highness Princess Luna!"
"Oh good, my day was looking a bit boring."
She strode into his office, every bit the proud princess of the night.
"Professor Thissdens, we require thy services!"
Thissdens blushed, and pushed a stray lock of his mane back. "Princess I must admit I heard rumors of your exploits prior to your... difficulties but I never expected to be so approached."
He looked her over. "Still, we must all serve in our way, how did you wish to do this your majesty?"
Luna looked confused. "We beg thy pardon, Professor, perhaps you have misunderstood our intent-"
"Oh, I dearly hope not your majesty! Thou art the finest visage of beauty to ever cross yon threshold. Ask any boon of me and I will grant it to thee with pleasure, in all senses of the word."
Luna looked a bit flustered, but pleased. "Professor we are quite certain now our intent was not conveyed. While we would not be loathe to discuss such matters at length at a later time, for the moment the services we request involve the use of your mind. As opposed to certain other parts of thy anatomy."
Thissdens grinned. "A lady that is attracted to me for my intellect! My mother always insisted I would find one. How unfortunate to have met you so late in my life. Still, when life hoofs you lemons..."
Luna explained the situation at length, all the while trying to calm down. Nopony had been so brash with her in centuries, even prior to her... episode. She was flattered, but still a bit taken aback.
"So it's happened eh? Not quite the way either of us expected but you can't argue the end result. Two pegasi, two unicorns, and two earth pony? Interesting symmetry there."
"They are the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy."
Thissdens' ears perked up. "Rainbow Dash you say? Best Young Flier Award winner? Performed the Sonic Rainboom twice?"
"Rather more than twice recently, after having undergone the changes she did. Professor Cann insisted you would be needed particularly to assist Miss Dash. While he was confident in his ability to help teach spell crafting to ponies who had never used a horn in their lives, he insisted he would need thine expertise to assist them in learning how to-"
How did she put it? "-not destroy the local weather systems with massive floods and or tornadoes whenever they sneezed."
Thissdens nodded. "I told that old fool we needed to approach all the angles if we really hoped to help anypony. Still, if he asked you to find me I'll forgive him his ignorance. He has clearly realized the error of his ways."
A pop above Celestia announced her sister's return letter.
"Celly,
I have found your professor, he has agreed to accompany me to Ponyville.
Lu
P.S. He seems to be an incurable flirt. Watch your flank around him."
"Luna found Thissdens. He's coming to Ponyville."
"Good good, now we can begin to get to the bottom of this."
Six months passed, during which time life continued fairly normally.
Twilight and Rarity attended regular training sessions with Luna and Celestia. Celestia taught them to focus their power without overusing it.
For Rarity this was less of a chore, she'd never had so much power at her hooves it's true, but her interests had always led to mass projects which required multitasking. Her life was only made easier, since she now had greater energy reserves, and a much greater variety of spells at her disposal. Teleportation, for instance, allowed her to attend more events without running herself ragged.
"Yes of course I'll announce for the race dear! Party at seven you say? Wouldn't miss it!"
For Twilight this proved a far greater challenge. For months afterwards every spell she attempted felt like she was swinging a sledgehammer to swat a gnat.
"Twilight you're still using too much magic! I am running out of busts for you to test with!"
"Sorry Celestia, let me try again..."
"How did you manage to set stone on fire?"
Luna in turn taught them basic flight and weather manipulation.
Twilight took to this fairly well, and while she was no Rainbow Dash, she soon became comfortable flying, indeed if she pushed herself she could perform the Rainboom. She found with concentration she could manipulate clouds with relative ease.
"Rainbow Dash is going to be so proud!"
"Don't get cocky Twilight, now do it again, this time faster."
"Yes Luna!"
Rarity on the other hoof seemed to take to flight like a fish to water, she flew at every opportunity. She never worried about pure speed, it was all control. Canterlot and Ponyville soon found their upper stratosphere graced with delicate sculpture which slowly changed as the winds destroyed them.
"Oh but aren't they pretty Celestia?"
"Yes but they blow away nearly as soon as you make them, what's the point?"
"Something beautiful does not need to have a point!"
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash were split amongst the professors.
Fluttershy and Dash were were frankly a little flummoxed by Thissdens. His wings never seemed to move, in fact any time he "flew" they stayed at his side. He seemed to more... well running through at the air. His cutie mark was odd too, a horseshoe print in a cloud. They never asked, but he could see their curiosity.
One day, after a particularly grueling session teaching them, he brought it up conversationally.
"You're familiar with how a pegasi architecture works, correct? Pegasi magic alters the density of the clouds, makes them solid while at the same time retains their properties as clouds? I used to stare up at Cloudsdale longingly, until one day it occurred to me, if one can stand on a cloud, why limit it to a simple home? I traveled high into the mountains. Reaching cloud level, I began to forge two pairs of horseshoes, which I then nailed to my feet with nails formed from the same cloud. On that day I walked into Cloudsdale. Somewhere on the trip I found this on my flank. Ever since that day I have been seeking ways in which to break the basic understanding of how our magic works."
"The wings help you see, but its about more than air displacement. Moving air around you is you willing the air to part. The more effort you put into it the faster you can potentially move. The clouds are not simply pushed, they want to move for us, if you have strong enough willpower physical contact becomes unnecessary. Any pegasi can kick a cloud, but will can make it into a storm cloud, and anger can make it shoot lightning."
Applejack approached flight as she would any task, with hard work and constant effort. She never really became adept at cloud manipulation, but she could buck them into nonexistence easy enough. She became proficient in flight, and could manage to keep up with Rainbow when she chose to.
"Hey Dash, wanna redo the Iron Pony match sometime? I think we're all squared up now, you can even keep your wings untied."
"You're on A.J.!"
Neither Howe nor Thissdens could make heads or tails out of Pinkie Pie. She seemed confused at the simplest concept, and yet when asked to perform spells or shape storms she did it with eerie ease. When pressed how she was doing it she shrugged. In time they simply adopted her as a teacher's aide. She could not explain how to do something, but she could demonstrate anything. Cann shook his head and muttered. "-savant." They both pointedly chose to ignore when she did something that neither magic nor pegasi ability seemed to account for.
"How does she-"
"Don't ask Thissdens. Even I know some questions can only lead to madness."
Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy learned basic unicorn magic from Cann. They were proficient, but not exactly noteworthy when compared to the likes of Luna, Twilight, Celestia or Rarity. Pinkie Pie, again, showed unusual adeptness with magic of any type. She seemed only limited by what hadn't yet occurred to her.
"Pinkie Pie for the last time stop turning Fluttershy into a tree!"
"Sorry Dashie!"
During this time Cann and Twilight were hard at work studying the elements. The first thing they found was... the elements had reverted to their inert stone forms. This caused great panic, and testing began immediately. Further study showed the magic was there... but somehow not.
"This is the form they were left in after I was forced to banish Luna, but why would they be this way now?"
"What worries is more is why there is chaos magic imbued in the elements, it's as if Discord touched them..." Cann looked concerned and a little frustrated that the answers were not more apparent.
Twilight rose a hoof, as if waiting to be called on, when the professor nodded she spoke. "He... did, after his escape, is that a problem?"
Cann laid a hoof to his chin. "Potentially..."
Today Dash was waiting for Applejack. She had promised her a real race to stretch both their wings. Dash spotted a figure off in the distance and flew forward to greet her friend.
Instead, she spotted a much different alicorn. She was a graceful creature, but her coat and mane were all muted gray tones. On her flank was a tornado.
"Fool! These are my skies, by what right do you trespass in them?"
"Who the hay are you lady?"
"I am Princess Tornado, ruler of all you see! Who, my pitiful little insect, are you?"
"Really? After all that he went and took a break? What in tarnation was the point of all that buildup?"
"He said it was to "get all his pieces in place." I've read a few books on chess, he's probably working up to his "End Game" strategy. That or he is just lazy."
"Ladies please! Do be kind to the poor dear, he's likely a bit overwhelmed. You girls have seen me take on a few too many things at once. It's fine until your energy depletes, then you begin to feel strained at every action."
"I just want to know what's going on with this Tornado lady! Who the hay does she think she is? I am so gonna kick her flank-"
"Um... girls, I'm sure he'll be back soon, let's just be patient for now."
"Itchy neck... eyeflutter... knee jerk... Girls I think the narration is back!"
Seriously ladies, I have been gone for two whole days what exactly is the problem?
"Um... well while we sort of understand what you're doing maybe it was a little bit of a-"
"Letdown! A huge bucking letdown! You skipped six months and didn't even mention the party we all had when we got back together! Then you promise me a race and leave me hanging in front of that bit-"
"Seriously, and what was that stuff with the party and Doctor Whooves? If you needed me to go with everypony else you could have just asked!"
You... scare me a little, I still have nightmares about those poor fish...
"C'mon, that was a joke! They breathe sand its fine!"
You tried to insert "Cupcakes" into my story! "CUPCAKES" Pinkie!
"Oh hush, you got a couple chuckles out of it be happy!"
Well, okay I guess it was a little funny, but still you totally preempted the dramatic retelling of the War of Chaos vs Harmony-
"Oh like you were going anywhere with that anyway silly-billy! You're no Tolkien you know!"
Adams was always more my taste yes...
"Exactly, stick to what you know! You saw how we botched up Rarity's dress designs when we tried to force our interests on her-"
"Pinkie let us never speak of those... things... again please you are giving me flashbacks!"
"Girls! Look, we can all berate the author when he inevitably fails to live up to everypony's expectations later on. Listen Author, we know you work hard, but my friends and I never got to really meet up again after you forced us all into inexplicable alicornhood for the sake of a laugh or two. So while you're planning out this "Grand Battle Betwixt Good and Evil" we thought we could all take a look back, before you split everypony up into your little training groups to learn how to not kill everypony by mistake? Would that be so much to ask?"
Six puppy dog looks were directed at the Author.
Fine, fine, as if I would deny you girls anything... Here's your party, now if you'll excuse me I have villainy to write...
Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rainbow, Applejack, and Rarity were in the middle of their most awkward group hug ever.
"Pfft! Rarity your wing is in my mouth! Everypony, it's so good to see you again!"
"I quite agree Twilight, while we did just see each other last Tuesday stress of certain recent events certainly makes that time seem so much longer than tolerable."
"Well shoot, least we're all here together again. We can get past a few extra wings and horns, we'll do it together!"
"Um... girls this is nice and all but maybe we should be worried about why this all happened?"
" 'Shy stop worrying so much, we can fly faster and survive crashes better than ever now! I am so gonna practice the tricks my instructors told me would get me killed someday! I'll show them!"
Pinkie Pie suddenly perked up. "You know what this calls for!"
Rarity sighed. "Pinkie we just left a party, besides that whole affair seemed rather dull, what I can recall in any case."
"Shush! Party commencing in three, two, one..."
Pinkie's horn glowed and suddenly out of nowhere appeared twenty six party cannons blowing out streamers and decorations in rapid succession.
Music began to play from no apparent source. "C'mon everypony! Let's dance!"
Celestia and Luna watched the friends celebrate.
"They certainly have much energy, We wonder if the change is permanent? T'would be welcome to have six such worthy friends join us in eternity sister."
"I... dare not think of it sister. My heart breaks with every pony I must watch go into the sunset. I would hate to get my hopes up only to have them dashed on the harsh rocks of reality. Until we find out what happened my only concern is ensuring they learn to control what fate has forced upon them."
"Still, tis nice to dream of more companionship, tis it not?"
"Dreams are always good dear sister, for you make them so."
Thissdens and Cann glared at each other.
"I told you you stubborn mule, Pegusi magic is capable of inducing alicornhood, now admit you were wrong. Also, you can forget about the fifty bits, we never shook on that."
"Fifty? I thought it was five hun- Oh, of course fifty bits right! You were supposed to pay that if she was holding back and that's the only bet we're worried about! Of course I'll forgive you that paltry sum old friend, and I admit I was wrong about your specialty."
Thissdens eyed Cann suspiciously. Five hundred? He was pretty sure it had said fifty in the note. Still, he had gotten what he wanted. "I'll admit I was wrong about unicorns too, clearly they had the potential all along."
"We both kinda dropped the ball on earth ponies though."
"Yeah but who studies that? Seems like a pretty pointless thing to look into."
"Oh? Like a pegasus studying cloud forging for the purposes of a new pair of shoes?"
"Point taken."
Author's note:
Yeah, all my girls can see the fourth wall. Why? Because it's funny.
A pink alicorn is seen berating somepony off camera.
"You get back on that keyboard or I will end you! Do you understand me?!"
Yes Mistress! Writing now mistress! Ahem! Where were we again? Oh right, Dash and Tornado...
"I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria!"
Dash held a hoof to her chin. "Except I'm not a pegasus anymore, prof says I'm an... ali... ally..."
"Alicorn." Tornado supplied, testily.
"Gesundheit. Anyway I got a horn on my head and big gigantic wings now, and I got taller for some reason which was kinda weird... Hay what do you mean calling yourself Princess anyway? We got two of those right now. They're still talking about whether me and my friends count but lemme tell you lady, you ain't one of em!"
"You mean the tyrant and the puling whelp she called a sister call themselves royalty now? Oh my, what airs they put on after they betrayed us all!"
Dash's posture shifted, she looked ready to pounce.
"What the hay are you talking about lady?"
"Tell those two traitors some old friends have a few issues they wish to discuss. Out of respect for our prior friendship we'll give them some time to settle their affairs before judgement is passed. Court will convene in one week, at which time sentence will be passed. They will know where to meet us."
With that, she turned and... vanished? No, not quite, Dash could barely make out a light trail. How did she move like that?
Dash shouted at her light trail, glaring in frustration. "Hay lady, what the buck is going on?!"
Rainbow Dash flew back to Ponyville, her mind swimming with questions.
Her friends had all returned to their lives for the most part. The princesses insisted their lives did not need to be changed by the physical changes they had undergone. Life was not precisely the same of course. The weather team was even more intimidated by the mare who could now not only clear the sky in ten seconds flat, but could now fill it with clouds in the same ten seconds. She did not brag about this however, she still kind of felt like it was cheating to use magic for such things.
Rarity maintained her shop in Ponyville, her business was booming, and her social calender was packed. Her shop was constantly showing activity while Rarity herself sat quietly sipping tea, her magic churning out dozens of orders for the rich and famous.
Fluttershy's life was the least affected, although the addition of actual healing magics made it much easier to care for her animal friends.
Applejack's farm was producing larger and more flavorful apples than ever. She was even considering branching out into other crops, since applebucking season was a relatively simple matter for her now. She had Big Mac handle the sales now, as well as transport and storage, but she was able to pick the entire crop in a matter of moments.
Pinkie was... well Pinkie. The Cakes had finally calmed down and come back to the shop once they were convinced Pinkie would not be ending the world... at least not this week. They still gave a wide eyed frightened look at times when she juggled the twins in midair while manipulating every appliance in the shop. Mrs. Cake had not been pleased to hear about the endless party going on at the Sugarcube Corner, although she had been somewhat mollified, then alarmed, to find it was not actually at the shop. She stormed up to Pinkie and insisted she fix reality at once. Pinkie had obliged, and the door to the endless party was now folded neatly into a portable hole Pinkie kept in her mane. She went to visit on occasion and had developed quite a friendship with a two headed pony with three forelegs and a penchant for extremely strong drinks in massive quantities.
Twilight, when not visiting Luna and Celestia for more training, was hard at work researching the elements with Professor Cann. They had nearly given up, for every type of divination spell they could find (and a few Celestia had taught Twilight herself which had been considered too dangerous for unicorn use) yielded no results. The elements were inert, and the study of the chaotic magic lead to no further information.
Professor Thissdens had returned to his university, he felt reinvigorated. He was ready now to tackle those idiots who had the gall not to take his class seriously.
It was to Twilight's home Dash flew now, Cann had tried to teach her the sending spell but Dash did not have the patience for it. She figured, how often would she be away from Rarity, or Twilight, or Spike for that matter? This strange pony was threatening the princesses, and had seemed to want to attack Dash herself, she had to tell somepony quick.
She arrived at the library and pushed the door open with her magic, seeing no Sparkle she immediately looked around for Spike. No luck there either. She heard humming coming from downstairs.
She burst into the basement, and flew down to see her friend. Twilight and Cann were both concentrating on their latest attempt to breach the mystery of the elements. Their eyes glowed with eldritch energies.
Dash found her thoughts moving a bit too quickly for her tongue to keep pace with.
Twilight ended her spell, her eyes returning to their normal color, she looked at Cann apologetically then motioned for her friend to attempt to make sense. "Again please Dash, but a little slower."
Dash took a deep breath. "Okay so I was out waiting for A.J. to join me for a quick little race when this strange looking pony flew up and called me an insect."
Twilight looked shocked. "Okay... odd, rude, but not exactly panic attack time, was there more?"
"Yeah! She was all grey and she called herself a princess! I think she was an ali... ally..."
"ALICORN." Both Twilight and Cann supplied.
"Gesundheit. Anyway she had wings and a horn and she looked like Celestia except she had a tornado for her cutie mark. She said she and her friends had a bone to pick with the princesses!"
Twilight digested the news about the new alicorn, her coat palor, the fact she called herself Princess Tornado, and her anger at the Princesses.
"Buck me... Cann, I know what happened to the elements. We need to get word to Celestia and Luna immediately."
Author's note:
Yes, I know there was a lot of stuff in here that could have been covered in the timeskip, I am trying to convey everypony's life has returned to normal, or as normal as sudden magic and flight can make your life. This is the calm before the storm. Welcome to Act II.
On the way to Destruction
"Dash, Cann and I need to discuss this at length, could you go find the rest of the girls? We've got trouble brewing and everypony will need to know this."
After all the girls were assembled, they waited patiently for the two researchers to finish getting their "presentation" ready. Rainbow Dash looked back and forth at the two ponies who seemed to be speaking Equestrian but otherwise making not a lick of sense. They kept excitedly pointing at charts and graphs and erasing chalk from each other's equations only to replace them with yet more numbers or... letters for some reason. Pinkie Pie stepped up and insisted she be allowed to handle any and all drawings. She merrily hummed while she drew out pictures of alicorns. Rarity and Fluttershy simply sat and chatted until everypony was finished with whatever they were doing. Applejack looked annoyed at all the fancy math. Finally Cann and Twilight calmed down and looked over the room. Dash spoke up finally, her eyes spinning. "Guys would somepony care to fill us in?"
Twilight looked apologetic. "Professor, would you care to do the honors?"
"Alright, let me explain..." He looked over the charts and graphs and scribbled notes. "No, there is too much, let me sum up."
He lifted a pointer with his magic and pointed to various pictures as he went. "The Elements of Harmony, seen here-" He pointed to six circles with the words "Kindness" "Loyalty" "Generosity" "Honesty" "Laughter" and "Magic" written underneath them. "-were originally formed by Celestia and Luna during the war with Discord. During this war each of the six original living elements, seen here-” He pointed in turn to six crudely drawn alicorns with the names “Shimmer” “Dawn” “Tornado” “Blueberry” “Lokey” and “Sapphire” “-were corrupted by Discord and turned against the others, until finally Celestia and Luna fought a losing battle against their six friends and the god of chaos himself. Luna and Celestia were finally able to restore each of their friends to their senses, using the memory spell rediscovered by Twilight during the Discord's escape. The six came to the conclusion that, while they were certainly powerful enough to counter Discord, individually they were corruptible. The war would never end as things stood, and they truly loved their little ponies enough to make any sacrifice."
Applejack raised a hoof. “Prof, we appreciate the recap an all but how does that relate to the elements going all wonky?”
Pinkie Pie leaned into A.J. “This is recap for the audience, a few of them have probably forgotten most of these details.”
“Yeah? Well I done heard all of this already, it’s boring.”
“The audience hasn’t heard most of it.”
“Yeah, well who’s fault was that? You done took the whole lot of em off to watch you wake up Dash.”
“Hehe yeah, that was funny!”
“In a moment Applejack, to really know what went wrong you need to know what they really are to begin with.”
Here he pointed to a crudely drawn Alicorn, with the name "Dawn" written below. "The element of magic found a solution, and it was one Celestia and Luna vehemently refused to continence. He developed a ritual which would bind the life, essence, and power of an alicorn into a physical object, the object would be all but impervious to Discord's influence. Each of the six begged Celestia and Luna to perform the ritual, it took the element of Kindness-" Here he pointed to a picture of another alicorn named "Shimmer". "-to convince them at last, and with a heavy heart they bound each of their friends into an enchanted stone. Using the power of the elements, they turned Discord to stone."
He gestured to Twilight who took up the pointer and continued. "That brings us to the most recent war with Discord. Girls, he touched the elements. Much like he was able to corrupt us, by handling the elements he was able to alter the magic that bound them. When we blasted him, contact of the magic of the elements with chaos magic further altered them. He apparently forced out the living embodiments of the elements. The magic and essence of each was left behind, but without the life-force the element was disrupted, so the power transferred from the element to each of us. Each of your stories have the event happening around the same time in the morning, Applejack was up early enough it actually happened while she was awake. For the rest of us the change happened in our sleep."
She gestured to a third alicorn "Tornado". "Dash's encounter with Tornado told me two things. One: the princesses have recovered their physical form. Two: from her coat color and demeanor, it seems the six have been corrupted again."
Dash nodded. “She was a real piece of work, cocky as all hay. What kind of pony brags that much?”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Yes Rainbow, none of us have seen any of our friends let a little ability go to their heads.” Dash blushed at this.
Twilight pointed to a picture of Discord, he had a silly smile on his face. "Finally, we have one more problem, the elements are the only thing keeping Discord trapped in stone. So long as the elements remain as they are, his prison will slowly weaken." Everypony gasped at this.
Fluttershy’s eyes seemed to blaze. “That... big... dumb … MEANIE !” Rarity soothed her.
"So that's where we stand girls, the living essence of each of our elements is out there now, plotting to overthrow our two princesses. To make matters worse, their very presence may lead to the release of Discord, it will be the war of chaos all over again, but this time even worse."
Applejack stood up. "Ah reckon it's real simple how to fix this, we round 'em up and make 'em see reason. If they wanna tussle why, we'll oblige 'em."
Dash had looked a little lost up till now, but immediately reacted to this. "Yeah! We'll kick their flanks all over the sky!"
Rarity looked a little shocked, but resolutely nodded. "Definitely darlings, nopony deserves to be controlled the way we were, I almost wish Discord would escape so I could teach him a lesson personally!"
Fluttershy spoke up. "Those poor ponies, we have to help them, that meanie shouldn’t be allowed to hurt anypony ever again!"
Pinkie bounced excitedly. "Oh this is gonna be so much fun! Lemme get my cupcake cannon!"
Twilight grinned, happy all her friends were willing to give it their all. "Okay everypony, gather close, we're going to teleport to the princesses to warn them and offer to help!"
There was a blinding light as Twilight mass-teleported the six of them to the throne room. Cann looked at the charred circle on the floor. “They just rushed off to what could be certain doom... and they left me behind...” Spike nodded. “They always seem to do that, it’s like we’re not even here to them at times. Come on man, I made some tea.”
Twilight looked around, the sun throne was empty, the entire room was deserted. She panicked, even when Celestia was not holding court there were guards, maids, courtiers... where was everypony?
"Girls, something is wrong, wait here a moment." Twilight teleported to the moon throne, the princesses’ bedrooms, their personal baths. Every place she checked not only contained no princess, but no sign of anypony else.
She teleported back to the throne room, gasping a bit: even an alicorn could get winded from rapid-fire transports, it seemed. "Gone, everypony is gone! The whole palace is empty!"
Rarity looked horrified. "What do we do now?"
Fluttershy, in a small voice. "Panic?"
A chuckling came from all directions at once. Pinkie Pie bristled at it. Twilight facehoofed. “We’re too late...”
Pinkie looked at Rarity. “”I almost wish Discord would escape...” You just had to say it didn’t you?” Rarity looked abashed and gulped.
Discord's rich sonorous voice echoed through the chamber. "Oh my, this is priceless! I'm terribly sorry my dear Twilight, but your princesses are in another castle!"
Twilight looked to each of her friends, who nodded accent. "We agree."
"Good, good, now first, I think a change of venue."
With a snap of his fingers, everypony found themselves in the Cloudsdale Coliseum. Discord and Nightmare took up residence in Celestia's private viewing box.
The twelve alicorns were lined up in two opposing lines. Each faced their progenitor Element.
"So then, which of you wishes to go first? I have decided the location, you may decide the order." Discord grinned from his box, a cheap looking t-shirt proclaiming "Go Team Chaos" with each letter in a different style of writing. Nightmare merely looked bored.
Of all the ponies he expected to respond, Fluttershy was the least likely. "I'll go first, if that's alright with everypony else...."
Dash was quick to protest. "Fluttershy, no! Let me go first! I couldn't stand watching you get hurt!"
Fluttershy nodded, she had expected this. "Dash, you can't be expected to protect my honor every time somepony tries to bully me. I can do this."
Dash still looked anxious and would have insisted again but Applejack laid a hoof on her shoulder. Quietly, she spoke. "Dash, she needs to do this, don't take it away from her."
Fluttershy nodded thanks to Applejack, and flew forward. She pointed to Shimmer. "We're going to fight now, if that's okay with you."
Shimmer looked bemused, but she flew forward.
A gong rang out from no place in particular, and Discord's voice rang out. "FIGHT !"
Fluttershy struck the first blow, a small slap to the cheek. Shimmer looked at her, wounded, and returned an equally weak slap... this went on for some time. After about five minutes of this Discord yawned. "Sweet Faust this is going to be the wussiest fight of good versus evil ever! Somepony do something or I am just calling this farce a draw if only to spare the remainder of our dignity."
Pinkie Pie flew forward, a Cheshire-like grin on her face. She faced both ponies. "Staring contest! Go!"
Fluttershy looked startled. "Wha-" Then Shimmer began to Stare.
"What was that just now?" Thissdens had been eating salad when a small annoyed-looking rabbit had kicked him in the shins.
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Thissdens were having lunch together. Angel Bunny had been watching this nonsense go on for weeks now, and frankly, it was getting to be too much. Fluttershy needed to be in the kitchen making him a damned sandwich right about now or some shit was going down. That meant these two needed to stop being around so much.
"Angel Bunny! Stop that!" The unrepentant rodent glared at her meaningfully and made motions for her guests to get the buck out.
"I'm warning you..." Fluttershy poked one eye out out of its socket somehow. Thissdens looked upon the scene, bemused... Was she trying to give the bunny a stink eye? Rather unusual but if it worked...
Angel Bunny kicked the table, unsettling everypony's bowls and spilling drinks. He glared at Fluttershy and pointed to the kitchen.
Fluttershy's whole stance shifted. Her eyes centered on the troublesome cony and suddenly, the air was charged with potential energy. Fluttershy, in a small voice that somehow carried well beyond the confines of the cottage, spoke four words. "GO TO YOUR HUTCH !"
The rabbit lasted all of three seconds before curling into a ball and scampering off to any place most distant from the irritated filly with the pink hair.
Fluttershy relaxed visibly, and looked sheepish. "Sorry everypony, he gets like that-"
Thissdens had been in some sort of reverie up to this point, and finally came out of it as she spoke. "What... the buck... was that?"
Rainbow Dash chuckled. "That's the Stare Prof, I watched her back down a dragon with it once. I hear she took on a basilisk and made it turn Twilight back from stone."
"Cockatrice." Fluttershy said absently.
"I see... and that whisper? The one I could somehow hear pound into the back of my skull?" Thissdens rubbed his ears at this.
Fluttershy looked startled. "You could hear that?"
Thissdens nodded. "I dare say a few of your friends in Ponyville might have heard that."
Dash looked impressed. "Yeah 'Shy, you been practicing your volume? I'd love to hear you cheer me on now!"
Thissdens tapped a hoof to his chin. "Sight based mental manipulation, and what seems to be magic enhanced sonic suggestion. It doesn't fall under our normal guidelines... but I think we should study it. Have you had any practice controlling this phenomenon?"
"No, it just happens when I am frightened or angry." Fluttershy rubbed a hoof over the side of her mane sheepishly.
"To the lab then, let's research."
Fluttershy returned it, equal intensity. Both ponies were focused, the air around them began to crackle.
The rest of the ponies looked about nervously, the building was beginning to shake, cracks appeared in the walls of the Coliseum. Random bolts of lightning appeared as the two ponies fought for dominance.
Fluttershy could not believe this, was the Stare a gift of her element? She had spent months after that incident practicing its use. Nevertheless, it appeared it was not her gift alone.
The air began to smell of ozone as the two continued. Somehow their eyes seemed to have gotten larger than the physical constraints of their head would in theory allow. Chunks of the stadium began to rain down to the ground below. Further below, a rift began to form in the ground.
Shimmer continued to Stare, she would not let up. She felt her will slip for a second or two, she began to wish to accede to this pony before her. Then, she redoubled her efforts. Above them, the sky was beginning to boil, the clouds parted way in a dramatic fashion, lightning arched between the two ponies locked in ocular combat.
Fluttershy sang out, in a loud, overpowering, yet soothing voice.
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to go to bed.
Driftin' off to sleep,
The exciting day behind you.
Driftin' off to sleep,
Let the joy of dream land find you.
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to go to bed.
Shimmer seemed startled, then relaxed. Her eyes grew heavy, her wings began to feel weighted. By the third verse, she collapsed, only to be caught gently by Fluttershy, who set her gently down in the stands.
"There, there, now... You're just grumpy because you need a nice nap."
Nightmare nudged Discord, who had seemed to freeze up. "Ahem, well... that was fairly decisive wasn't it. Match to Fluttershy, via technical knock out due to naptime..." The gong rang.
"The next match will be tomorrow. Get some rest everypony." Discord snapped his fingers, and eight flashes blinked away their opponents.
"What was that about, Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash demanded.
Everypony looked at Dash as if she'd grown a third head on top of the second one.
Fluttershy wilted under her gaze. "She didn't want to fight me..."
"What do you mean? That Tornado chick seemed all gung-ho to get her vengeance, but your element didn't feel like it? What kind of villain is that?"
“She's not a bad pony! She was so sad...”
“She slapped you in the face! Then she tried to use the Stare on you!”
“Listen to me, when we were fighting before the Staring contest, she talked to me...”
Fluttershy landed a halfhearted slap on Shimmer's face when Shimmer spoke to her in a whisper.
“You ... mule with wings!”
Fluttershy eyed her opponent. Long sweeping mane, it looked like she never needed a brush, it flowed like a river, she expected if she were to touch it her hoof would get wet. Her coat was was all muted gray tones, and on her flank was a picture of a dragonfly. This was a pony that would make the fashion world forget Fluttershy in a heartbeat.
“I forgive you, Shimmer. I know what Discord does to your personality.” Fluttershy's voice was barely audible, but Shimmer seemed to hear her fine.
“Yeah? Well, forgive this!” Another slap with no force to it.
Fluttershy returned it, to keep up appearances mostly. “You're angry at your friends for abandoning you, aren't you? Tell Doctor Fluttershy about it.” She took another light slap to the face for that.
“We sacrificed everything! Our lives, our freedom! That old mule and her sister were supposed to use our power to end this, and keep everypony safe! She let us get corrupted again! We're back under that crazy bastard's control! All my friends are miserable, and it's all that nag's fault!” Fluttershy slapped her lightly in return.
“I can help you, my friends want to help you.” Another light slap answered her.
“You can't, you're too weak. All of you are too weak!” Fluttershy's return slap was barely more than a wisp of air.
“You could help us, if you tried.” A round of slaps this time, none of which even connected.
“You can't fix this! He's too powerful, we're too powerful! He could be remaking the world in his image right now; instead he wants to watch us fight and hate each other, because it amuses him. I hate him so much; almost as much as I hate Celestia for not protecting us, almost as much as I hate you all for not being strong enough to stop us.” Fluttershy swiped at the air.
“I am weak, but when I stand with my friends we are strong. Would you like to be my friend Shimmer?” This round wasn't even close, she seemed to be crying.
“I... could never be friends with somepony so weak...” a last round of halfhearted slaps.
"Staring contest! Go!"
Fluttershy looked startled. "Wha-" Then Shimmer began to Stare.
“She didn't even try to resist when she heard me sing, she just relaxed and gave in. She could have hurt me, I felt the strength she was holding back. I saw the strain in her muscles.”
Fluttershy was silent for a moment. “I hated you all, you know. When Discord touched me, you disgusted me. I know what she is feeling. Each of us know what these ponies are feeling. We can help them, just like we helped each other. Shimmer didn't want revenge, she was angry because she felt betrayed. Celestia was supposed to protect them. We were supposed to protect them. These ponies gave up everything to save the world, and all they asked in return was peace. We need to make this right for them.”
Applejack took this in, and nodded. “So, that's what's going on. Ah reckon we need to help 'em out then. Twah, kin you teach me that memory restoration spell you used on everypony? I think Ah got a plan...”
Discord blinked in out of nowhere the following morning. “Rise and shine everypony! We've got a big day ahead of us, let's get a move on!” He snapped his fingers and everypony found themselves in the Canterlot rodeo arena.
“The Clouldsdale Colosseum was closed for repairs, it seems our little staring contest caused a lot of structural damage. As before, you may choose who goes next.”
Applejack stepped forward. “C'mere cuz.” Pointing at Blueberry.
Blueberry stepped forward, She was an interesting sight to be sure. She carried herself with little grace, and gave a sense that she was most comfortable with four hooves planted firmly in the soil of the arena. Yessir, this was a farmer, if Big Mac were a mare and an alicorn this is pretty much what Applejack expected he would look like. She had a straw hat on, wide brimmed, not a Stetson sadly. This was a hat of a mare that spent a long time in the sun watchin' things grow, then spent more time harvestin'. Under that hat flowed what looked like long twining vines that seemed to grow every second. Her flank unsurprisingly enough had her namesake, but the colors were muted grays.
“Cuz, you an' I are supposed to settle things out here, but I don't reckon that has to mean I have to hate you for it. I figure you and I might be able to settle things the old fashioned way, did you ever hoof-wrassle as a foal?”
“Nope, never did.” Blueberry's eyes darted around nervously.
“Never... oh hay, right, honesty, got it. um... Well how about this then, I say we hoof-wrassle, do you agree?”
“That sounds like a horrible idea.” The eyes darted again.
Applejack motioned for a couple barrels, but Blueberry did her one better. She pointed a hoof at the ground, and it rose up into a mound in the center flanked by two smaller mounds for the ponies to sit on.
Applejack sat down and held up a hoof. In a moment Blueberry took the other mound, and wrapped her hoof around Applejack's.
They began; Applejack strained, but she could not budge the other farmer's hoof. Blueberry made no effort to do more than match Applejack's strength.
The ground below them began to creak from the pressures being applied. Smoke began to billow from cracks that appeared in the arena's dirt field.
“Cuz, I reckon your heart ain't in this, is that wrong?”
“Yes, that's wrong.” The eyes again, dang she was a bad liar.
“You want us to help you? We just want Discord shut down, and we want you and yours to be happy again, do you want that cousin?”
“No, I don't want that at all.” Darting again.
“Cuz, if you want my help, I need you to do something for me. In a sec, Ah'm gonna headbutt you. You ain't gonna stop me, and you're gonna drop to the ground, you got that?”
“I don't agree, I won't drop, and I will stop you.”
“Alright cuz, here I come.” Applejack used the titanic forces of their combined strength to pull herself forward in a massive headbutt. The mound they had been wrasslin' on shattered, and in the sudden dust, Applejack cast the spell.
When the dust cleared, Blueberry lay on the ground, inert, her coat was a muted purple instead of the slate gray from a moment ago.
Discord's gong rang out. “End of match everypony. Point to Applejack. Knockout. Nothing technical about this one.”
Blueberry stood up unsteadily, she turned back to her friends. Applejack heard her voice as she walked to them. A slight whisper in the breeze. “Thank you cuz...”
"Well, this has grown dull. Let's mix it up a bit, shall we everypony? I'll pick the next opponent, and you can pick the location." Discord clapped his hands and giggled like a schoolgirl.
"Rarity, I choose you. You have the night to prepare and think about the location you wish. Until next time!"
Rarity spun a few gemstones in the air with her magic, thinking. She kept coming back to the same conclusion time and again. She let the gemstones fall and banged her head upon the table. Sapphire... who or what is your Tom? What did you come to covet that was used against you? It was never simple with Discord, she almost longed for a simple foe like Nightmare. At least Nightmare had made sense. She simply wanted to control the skies to bring about eternal night. Foolish? Certainly! Everypony would have died from starvation eventually because of lack of food! She was no farmer like Applejack, but even she knew plants needed sunlight! However it was a plan you could understand, and she was a foe you could beat by standing with your friends and shouting you would not go gently into her night! Discord twisted you all around, made you give into your weakest and most humiliating flaws. Losing to him meant more than just losing your life, you lost the essence of what you most valued about yourself. Worse, you threw everything good about yourself away because of a delusion. An ideal... something you dreamed about... but ideals never held up in reality. You dreamed of Him... but you ended up with a (bastard ) Blueblood.
Discord had seen that flaw in her, the avarice she had held for... things, for station, for ponies of importance. She tried so hard to be more... more than her parents, more than the town she resided in. It had always been the bane of her life. She genuinely cared for her friends, her family, but at the same time she wanted... and it wasn't generous to want for yourself.
Only her craft could help her find a balance between her flaws, and her more altruistic wishes to better the world. She created dresses for everypony, in every station of life. For those who could not afford to pay, she took but a pittance, or nothing at all in some cases. Those in higher stations paid for the status of wearing her gowns; which was far in excess of the actual cost of upkeep for her shop and the material costs of the gowns. So, the scales were balanced, always it came back to balance.
"I am so pathetic! How do I help somepony when I can barely help myself? I was given a gift, a gift of power, of flight, and I used it to make time in my social calender! To make more outfits for people who don't understand beauty in the slightest! Did you despair like this Sapphire? Were you flawed as I am?" She burst into tears.
Much could be told from a name and a cutie mark, perhaps that was the key to understanding this pony. Rarity, a singular event or object. Her cutie mark, three diamonds. Diamonds were the hardest gem on the planet, but they were formed from coal, one of the dirtiest and most humble minerals. Only time and pressure turned coal into a diamond. Celestia knew she placed enough pressure on herself by choice...
Sapphire, with a cutie mark of her namesake. A blue gem of immense beauty. The blue was from an impurity... a flaw made it beautiful. Yes, you were flawed weren't you? Your namesake spoke volumes. Perhaps I can help you.
Now, how to keep you from killing me until then?
"Rise and shine everypony!" Discord appeared in the library in a flash. "Have you chosen your location Dame Rarity?"
"Yes, the rocky valley area just outside Ponyville, I hunt gemstones there. It's deserted, mostly anyway. The only inhabitants live deep underground."
In a flash, everypony found themselves in the rocky valleys of the Diamond Dog tribes. Discord set himself up on a lawn chair and sat casually sipping a chilled drink under an umbrella. Nightmare sat upon a throne she had made from shadows and dark fire. Across from them glared four alicorns. Standing with them stood two more, Shimmer looked... confused, but still angry. Blueberry seemed noncommittal. Fluttershy waved to Shimmer, who in turn mouthed something unprintable. Applejack tipped her hat to Blueberry, who refused to look her in the eye.
Rarity gulped, and stepped forward. This was no manticore, she faced a goddess in her full power, power which could unmake her should she choose. Her mane seemed to be a growing flowing vein of crystals, they were beautiful to see, shame about the coat, gray was not this mare's color. She expected when not under Discord's control her mane and coat would be shades of brilliant blue. The thought saddened her, such beauty sullied.
"Begin!"
The next thing Rarity felt was a roundhouse kick dislocating her jaw. "You won't take her from me!" Sapphire screamed in anguish.
Rarity picked herself up off the ground and felt her jaw as it knit itself back in place. When it had healed she took up a defensive posture as the other pony feinted for another opening.
"Her? Darling, I feel I am entering a conversation midway. Whom am I supposed to be trying to take from you?"
"Celestia!" Sapphire hissed the name, anger in her voice but somehow... reverence?
Jab to the midriff, protect the organs. Celestia? What does she- Oh.... Oh my... Her Tom... Well, give the mare some credit. High block, overhead chop, watch for attacks on the ears. If you went for fillies, you may as well shoot for the stars, or the sun as it were.
Rarity blocked another kick from the lovesick alicorn. She was trying to think. She couldn't blame the poor dear, admiration could turn to love very easily, goodness knows she had looked upon Applejack a time or two... (Ahem ) back to matters at hoof. Low block, protect the kidneys. Love for a thing was far easier to break, once free of her enchantment she had seen Tom for what he was, and it was easy to give up her greed for the apparent shiny gem. (However she had polished him nicely and made him part of her backyard topiary. Oh Tom, why can't I quit you?) Love for a pony of the class of Celestia? Unlikely.
Another block, felt like her leg might have fractured, she could feel the bones knitting in place. Her only hope was to end this match before her opponent decided she was a true romantic rival and murdered her. But how exactly?
She leaped over a leg sweep attempt. She felt a twinge in her horn, one of the first spells she'd ever learned was telling her a large vein of diamonds was directly underneath her, about fifteen hundred hooves below. She reached into the earth with her telekinesis. A fountain of diamonds shot up into the sky.
A small respite as Sapphire looked confused. "When in doubt, cover it in gems." She grabbed each stone and coated her body in a (literally ) diamond hard armor casing. It moved and flowed around her, each one being controlled with her magic.
She turned to her opponent, who was apparently mesmerized by the display of shining diamonds. They were shifting, flowing, and catching every facet of the sun. She grinned. "My best work yet, beautiful is it not?" Then she lept high into the air and came crashing down on Sapphire like a ton of bricks in a furious jump kick.
Sapphire went down. "Celestia..." She murmured. Rarity laid her head upon the supine alicorn's chest. A small flash and she had cast the spell. "Sweet dreams darling..."
Discord clapped. "Well done mademoiselle, that was a thing of beauty. Well then, till tomorrow everypony."
He snapped, and they were gone.
"So... I can't help but notice, Rarity's element was trying to kill her. Fluttershy didn't you say these ponies weren't bad? I mean, granted they were bound to the elements over one thousand years ago... Twilight you're an egghead, you've studied history a lot, did ponies back then regularly try to murder ponies they wanted help from? Was that a thing?" Rainbow Dash's eyes darted back and forth a bit. She was going up against Tornado eventually, and it was kinda freaking her out. Competing with somepony was fine, it was fun even, but competing with somepony who wanted her to stop living... This was the dragon all over again. It wasn't like she was scared... she was Rainbow Dash, she never lost, except sometimes when she did... and if she did she might not live to try again. She wanted to huddle into a small ball, she wanted to smash everything and everypony around her... she wanted to not feel like this.
Applejack slammed a hoof down on the table they were huddled around. "Rainbow! Stop panickin'. I know you don't think things through much but you gotta this time."
A.J. sighed. "Look, you gotta remember, these are our elements. Fluttershy was cruel, I was a dang liar, Rarity was greedy. Pinkie Pie hated everything, Twilight gave up on everypony, and you? You flew off like a traitor."
"Hey! I wasn't me that day!" Rainbow's wings flared up in anger.
Applejack held up a hoof. "Ah know ya weren't, none of us were, not really. In another way though, we sorta were. None of us woulda act the way we did that day, not normally, but that doesn't mean we didn't have it in us."
Twilight placed a hoof on A.J.'s shoulder. "Applejack, let me try." A.J. nodded. "Look, Rainbow, when we were touched by Discord he didn't change us, it's like he muted our best qualities, the things that made us good ponies. Being a spirit of harmony does not make anypony perfect. All of us have made mistakes. We still get tempted by things, we panic, we misunderstand each other. Here's what made us worthy to be a bearer of harmony: We don't give in, we are generous to those who need it, we catch each other when we fall. When we need to, we even tell each other the unvarnished truth, however uncomfortable that might be. We help each other laugh at danger, we show kindness to those that want to hurt us. We don't abandon each other, and when it all comes down to do or die, we stand together. These ponies are the very essence of elements, and they've been corrupted against their will. They are not themselves, and it's up to us to help them."
"Actually, it's in your best interests to help them, if my calculations hold true." Professor Cann spoke up from the chair he was lounging in.
"I was getting to that professor. You see, Cann and I have been researching the activities of the two elements we've managed to free, or at least partially free. Honesty and Generosity have partially regained their power, they are still inert, but if we can free all of them, the elements should be functional again."
Pinkie bounced. "So you mean we could blast Discord with the friendship rainbow?"
"Yes, and Nightmare too. When we started these duels it was a stalling tactic, but now that we know the elements are fighting control in their own way it makes things easier. Furthermore, If we can restore the elements we can also undo the chaos bubble he has Canterlot in."
Rarity grinned happily. "That's brilliant, save the world and the princesses in one shot!"
Twilight nodded. "There's still the problem of how to get the snow globe from Discord of course but-"
Pinkie Pie shoved a snow globe into Twilight's snout. "You mean this one?"
Everypony's jaw dropped.
Twilight looked at the scene in the snow globe. Canterlot was alive, and bustling with activity. "Pinkie! How did you..."
"Chaos magic Twilight... you've been studying the contamination of the elements this long and you can't sense it?" Cann huffed.
"I have to admit she had me baffled as well, if you makes you feel better. Your friend can do things normal magic cannot account for, alicorn or no. Even she can't explain it, but she can do it. Also, from what you've told me of her, she was doing it long, long before she ever became an alicorn. She can quite literally do anything she sets her mind on, fortunately for the world she largely has her mind set on pastries and parties."
Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, is this true?"
Pinkie looked Twilight square in the eye. "I have no idea!"
Everypony facehoofed.
Twilight thought for a moment. "Pinkie Pie... can you bring Canterlot out of this bubble?"
Pinkie looked at the snow globe curiously. She waved at the Wonderbolts flying in the sky. "I dunno!"
"Can you try?"
Pinkie grinned. "Sure!" Everypony watched curiously as she scrunched up her face in concentration, then she reached out a hoof and tapped the glass. She turned her head this way and that way... then twisted her head upside down. This continued for some time. Twilight looked more and more distressed as Pinkie just seemed to be fiddling with the globe, but not actually doing anything.
Rarity watched the scene in bemusement... Pinkie really didn't seem to grasp what was being asked of her. They needed a different approach, the poor dear had no idea what she was doing, but perhaps if they just asked of her something she had done before... IDEEEAAAA!
Rarity laid a hoof on her befuddled pink friend. "Pinkie dear, do you recall how you made the door to Sugarcube Corner open up into the party with the space ponies?"
Twilight looked confused. "Space ponies?"
Rarity shot her a look. "Later, darling, this is important." She looked back to Pinkie, who looked deep in thought. "Could you, perhaps, make a door here in the library open up into that city?"
Pinkie thought, and then nodded, her grin huge. She walked up to a nearby closet, and stared at it for a moment. She opened the door. She poked her head through, looked around, and very excitedly shouted: "HI LUNA!"
Princess Luna was quite beside herself. This forced inactivity was driving her to distraction. For three long, depressing days she and Celestia had been working on any method possible to breach the barrier Canterlot had found itself in. Fortunately for the world, despite their current imprisonment, their connection to the sun and moon remained. Were that not the case the cycle of day and night would have gone completely askew. The sky above just... ended, in a smooth, featureless dome. There was air to breath, and light, in a sense. It was not sunlight precisely, but you could see. Celestia told her it was some sort of pocket dimension, it extended to the base of the mountain, and upward a few hundred feet past the highest parapet of the castle. For three days the sisters had been in a panic, for the apparent cause of their predicament had been revealed on the first day. A routine patrol, checking the status of His statue, had reported it missing. Yes, they knew not how to escape, but they indeed knew their captor.
While they had not given up, the constant attempts to break free of the imprisoning spell took it's toll on the sisters. Celestia had lain down for a nap, and Luna decided since she could be reasonably certain of privacy, (Celestia never knocked, ever!) she would indulge in a little "alone time."
Luna giggled as she found her favorite toys, it felt so good to get them out again! Poor Celestia just did not understand, sometimes Luna just needed to indulge, it made her feel so much more relaxed after a nice long session with her toys. Celestia had looked so shocked the first time she had found Luna using them, such a stuffy sister, she clearly needed a few toys of her own. She looked lovingly at her favorite, she did so love the blue. "Come on Sapphire, it's time to help me relax and unwind, does that sound fun?"
She settled down and arranged her toys to be within easy reach. She began brewing a nice pot of tea. To her shock, her closet door swung open. To her horror and embarrassment, a pink pony poked her head through. "HI LUNA!"
Pinkie looked over the scene. Somepony was having fun! She wondered if Luna might want another guest. She was about to ask when her eyes and ears were blown three feet inside of her skull. "LEAVE AT ONCE YE DEMON, THOU HAST SEEN OUR SECRET SHAME!" The outburst was followed by quiet crying. Pinkie would have been happy to comfort the crying princess, but first she felt she needed to do something about the whole blind and (nearly) deaf thing. After her organs had sorted themselves out once more (in a fashion anypony actually viewing would have found quite impossible) she looked upon the scene.
Luna was weeping softly, she sat at a tiny table surrounded by six dolls. Pinkie recognized two of them, they were very well made plushies. The two she recognized were purple, and blue. Four more surrounded her, light green, black, red, and gold.
"Oooooo you're having a tea party! Do you want cupcakes because I have lots of cupcakes let me give you some can I have some tea I love tea those are pretty dolls can I play with them-" The stream of endless words was cut off suddenly by a purple hoof. Twilight poked her head in the door. Behind them, Rainbow Dash was straining to see, while Rarity rolled her eyes. Fluttershy was blushing furiously, and Applejack just looked confused.
Twilight surveyed the scene, she supposed it must be embarrassing to be caught playing with dolls, but she could not for the life of her figure out what why everypony seemed so interested in seeing Luna's bedroom activity. "Um, hi princess, did you miss us?"
Reunions and Battle Plans
Captain Agile Race and Sergeant Swift Arrow had expected a routinely boring time guarding Princess Luna. She had left strict instructions to not be disturbed for at least two hours while she relaxed. Previous experiences had told the Captain do not disturb meant exactly that, regardless of the reason, or who was asking. Prince Blueblood had likely delayed the Captain's promotion by several months because he just had to come whining to Luna about a certain "peasant girl" who had covered him in cake during the Grand Galloping Gala. Agile Race took great comfort in knowing the Prince had been even more lambasted with insults over the incident than he had.
What neither expected was a disturbance from within the bedroom. Luna was screaming... something, he thought he could make out the word demon. They looked at each other, the Sergeant for orders, the Captain biting back a desire to ask the other pony for advice in what would certainly be a no win situation. Still, needs must, and only grimacing a bit, he opened the door and charged in to discover the source of the disturbance. What, if anything, they could do; that an alicorn goddess could not, neither knew.
The scene was a bit chaotic to say the least. A weeping Princess Luna sat at a table surrounded by... oh, that was why she wanted privacy. The source of her discomfort appeared to be coming from her closet, where inexplicably Twilight Sparkle and another alicorn, this one pink, were blocking the doorway.
Luna looked up and immediately whisked all the dolls into a drawer. She glared at the Captain. "CAPTAIN WE HAVE TOLD THEE IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS THOU MUST NOT DISTURB US, AND AT THE LEAST, THOU MUST KNOCK IF THOU HAS NEED TO ENTER!"
The Captain cleared his throat nervously. "I beg your forgiveness Princess, we heard shouting and a disturbance-"
Luna still looked agitated, but could not fault a soldier for trying to protect his sovereign. "Very well Captain, you are forgiven. Tell me, what didst thou see just now?"
The Captain gulped. "We definitely didn't see you playing with your dolls again ma'am!"
Luna nodded. "Good, you may leave, good and faithful soldiers. One of you please get word to my sister, it seems we may have a solution to the incarceration of our fine city."
Captain Race snapped a salute. "Yes Princess, at once!" Both of them hurried from the room.
Sergeant Arrow glanced nervously at the Captain. "What did we just-"
The Captain silenced him with a hoof to the mouth. "Don't question it, Sergeant. Go, and inform the Princess that Luna has guests, Twilight Sparkle included amongst them. For Celestia's sake make sure you knock when you go in."
Inside the room, Pinkie stepped in and took place at the table with Luna. She laid out a tray of cupcakes. "Did you want to pour or should I?"
Celestia could not sleep. She worried for her little ponies outside of Discord's little pocket universe, and for the ponies inside trying not to panic despite the lack of the calming cycle of the sun and moon. The wall... it was largely featureless, save for the giant eye which had appeared on the first day and sent everypony into a panic. It resisted every method she or Luna attempted to breach it. Celestia had not felt this helpless in over one thousand years. If Discord was free, what havoc was he playing on the world? How would the bearers even begin to deal with him without the elements to imprison him? They had all trained admirably, but they had yet to approach the level of power and control a battle with the essence of Chaos demanded. These questions all weighed heavily in her mind.
A knock on her door disturbed her rumination. "You may enter." Celestia said wearily.
Corporal Cloud Twist entered. "Your majesty, a message from Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle and the other Element Bearers await you in her chambers!"
Celestia fairly jumped to her hooves. "Understood Corporal, you may report back to your command, I am off to see my sister."
Celestia burst into the room, where the six friends were arranged around a table. Luna was serving tea, looking as happy as ever. Celestia was pleased, she hadn't looked this happy at a tea party in eons. Celestia loved her sister dearly, but she was no substitute for their friends. Dawn's plan to rid the world of Discord had hit Luna hardest, she had never really forgiven herself for taking part in it, or Celestia for agreeing as well. That may well have been the first major argument the two had ever had, and without her friends to keep her company she had turned to the populace for solace. A populace she grew ever frustrated with as time went on, for her hard work seemed to go unappreciated. She had seen it, but could not stop it, and before she knew it, Luna had... changed, embraced by a spirit of Disharmony which may well have been as old as time itself. Seeing Luna happy again was a true blessing.
Twilight looked up and smiled happily, she rose to her hooves and tackled her mentor. "Celestia I am so glad you are alright!"
Celestia smoothed her student's mane lovingly and looked over the beaming friends. "I am happy to see you all as well, but how were you able to breach the barrier? Has Discord been defeated?"
Twilight looked at Pinkie. "About that... we found out something interesting today... well several interesting things have happened..."
Some time later, two bemused alicorns were absorbing what, prior to today, would have seemed to be impossibilities. The revelation that not only Discord, but Nightmare as well, were free, was bad enough. The fact Pinkie Pie shared her magic specialty in common with Discord, while worrisome, was still not as bad as the final one. Celestia was the first to speak. "They hate us..." Luna laid a comforting hoof on Celestia. "We have danced this dance with Discord before sister. We won them back once, we can do it again. We even have help this time. It will be all the easier. We will get them back again."
Celestia sighed, she harkened back to the Celestia who had commanded armies in the various conflicts that had lead to the strengthening of her land. To the Celestia who had faced down her own sister and banished her to prevent eternal darkness. To the Celestia who had tearfully bound six of her friends, friends who should have accompanied her throughout the ages, to become weapons in a war with a god who could do anything at a whim.
She looked over her troops, and cleared her throat. "Everypony, I won't sugarcoat it, the odds are against us and the situation is grim. If Dawn were here, she would say I was an irrational, illogical pony for undertaking a battle like this."
Pinkie Pie bounced. "Sounds like fun! I love fun!" Twilight shushed her.
"We face two foes which; individually, have threatened Equestria's very existence. Their troops are stronger than ours, and have eons more experience. Any one of these foes would be a catastrophe. Eight of them at once will be nigh impossible. The last time this happened the world was broken and reforged countless times." She looked grim at the memory.
"That being said, I have every faith in all of you. Each of you have the strength of will necessary to recover your element. No, more than that, to save our friends. If... no, when we do this, the tide will turn. Standing with our friends we were able to match Discord, standing with new friends and old, we will defeat him. I am proud beyond belief to stand with you, my friends, in this coming engagement."
She looked at them proudly. They saluted her, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Enough speeches then, here's the battle plan. You tried the memory recovery spell, and only achieved partial success. Luna and I experienced much the same with them, we were only able to turn them when we helped them remember the essence of what made them who they were. Discord will return for more of his "game" in the morning. Luna and I-" She glanced at Luna, who nodded approval. "-will ambush it. We will keep Nightmare and Discord occupied, while each of you find your progenitor and show them how to recover their colors."
Rainbow deadpanned. "So that's it? We each have a fight with the living goddess that empowers us, risk life limb and possibly sanity against the god of chaos and the creature of living nightmare, and teach them the magic of friendship?"
Celestia nodded.
Rainbow laughed. "I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it! LET'S DO IT!"
The following morning Discord arrived to collect them. "Who shall it be today my little ponies? Magic, Laughter, or Loyalty? I cannot wait to see!" He snapped and they found themselves high in the sky, a featureless plain of cloudcover below them.
"Well? I'm waiting..."
Twilight nodded to Pinkie, who grinned and rummaged around in her mane. Discord looked curious, would he get to see Laughter in action today? Pinkie reached deep into her mane and pulled out... a folded black shape. She opened it and slapped it down onto the cloud below them. From it sprang Celestia and Luna, who streaked towards their targets.
Luna screamed at Nightmare, who looked almost glad to see her. Or rather, as glad as a malevolent spirit of disharmony can look. "THY OPPONENT IS HERE NIGHTMARE! FACE ME, AND I WILL BRING AN END TO YOUR PITIFUL EXISTENCE!" She rushed to meet the creature who had caused her imprisonment for one thousand years, a fierce smile on her face.
Celestia reached her target first. She smashed Discord with a devastating blow to his jaw with her armor plated forehoof. The shock wave of her sudden acceleration hit him nearly as hard as the golden horseshoe to the teeth. She smiled down at him. This had been a long time coming. "White Queen threatens Black King. Check!"
Twilight and her friends looked upon the living elements, which in turn looked at them. Celestia's former friends were in a sudden conflict with their own minds. While it was not absolute, each of them had been under the subtle control of the two entities which now found themselves distracted by a furious assault from Celestia and Luna.
The source of their unity, despite feelings of hatred for Discord, had been Discord himself. He had been imposing his will by a spell he was unable to concentrate on at the moment. He was currently countering flaming strikes from Celestia's horn with exploding cream pies. The Draconequis was a bit busy.
The source of their hatred for Celestia, Luna, and the six ponies staring at them, was Nightmare. The hatred was a mental projection, and she was unable to maintain it while shifting forms. She was alternating between mist and physical forms while Luna sent meteor strikes, magical blasts, and even sonic blasts at her. Nightmare found herself otherwise occupied for the moment.
Under the circumstances; finding themselves in a battle none had wanted, loathing themselves for being so weak, and filled with revulsion even for each other when not compelled to remain, they did the only sensible thing:
They each bolted in a separate direction.
Twilight boggled at this, but only for a moment. "After them girls!"
The six friends gave chase.
Rainbow Dash strained to approach Tornado, she was FAST! Too fast perhaps... Everything Dash tried to increase speed was only barely managing to keep her from losing sight of the living element of loyalty.
Rainbow was not a very bright pony. This was not to say she was unintelligent, she simply did not grasp new concepts quickly. When she researched, it was all action, she tried, and tried, and frequently, she failed. Failures sometimes lead to mere dust ups on the ground, and on multiple occasions they had lead to a trip to the hospital for sprains, fractures, and one break.
This was not to say she was incapable of study in the traditional sense, just that she was not likely to think of such a thing. Cann had finally given up on teaching her very advanced magic, but he had taught her a useful spell she employed now. Casting it upon her own eyes, she now was able to see magic patterns as they moved. She looked back on Tornado and marveled at what she saw.
The mare speeding before her was not employing the technique Pinkie had taught her. Cann and Thissdens had been impressed at the concept, displacing air with telekinesis to reduce drag and provide lift and power to her flight. This was something quite different, and very interesting. It was a shield, shaped like a wedge, formed around each wing, drag was all but eliminated, as the air was being redirected to exactly the right portions of the wing for maximum lift and speed. A second spell was redirecting the heat from the friction on the main body to the rear. This was not displacement, she was slicing through the air like a hot knife through butter. Dash, finally seeing what she was doing, emulated the spells, and suddenly found herself not just catching up, but actually overtaking Tornado.
Tornado watched the rainbow speed trail pass her in sorrow. "Just leave me alone! I can't face them, and I won't face you! Let me go!"
"What is your bucking problem T? I finally get my mind settled enough to face you, the madpony who flew into my life and basically declared you would pass judgement on my princesses, and you run? What kind of villain are you?" Rainbow looked quite flummoxed.
"I am no villain! You don't understand, my friends... I wanted to be loyal to them, but they were angry at Celestia and Luna! I couldn't be loyal to everypony! It was all so simple, I had my anger, I had my hatred, I could go on. I found solace in remaining loyal to the larger group of my friends, now all I can feel is shame for betraying Celestia and Luna! I can't be loyal without being treacherous! There is only one way to be loyal to all, and it's to remove myself from the conflict. I won't support either side, I won't have to be disloyal to anypony!" She cried, her eyes full of tears and self hatred.
Dash screamed back. "You can't just ignore everypony to avoid hurting anypony! They need your help!"
Tornado glared at Rainbow. "Who are you to dictate my actions? I will crush you like the insect you are!"
The skies around them darkened, and the wind began to howl. Air currents swirled around Tornado as she formed her namesake directly above her. While it was true an Alicorn could survive most injuries, Tornado reasoned if Dash were torn to shreds her body would not heal from it. The storm above her gathered debris from below as the funnels converged. Trees, rocks, even sand soon reached speeds at which they were deadly projectiles.
Dash watched the scene in growing horror, at an estimate the storm far exceeded the destructive power of the strongest naturally occurring tornadoes. The Everfree had been known to produce some very wild weather, but this was a class unto itself. She knew she could not affect the storm with mere weather manipulation, this was beyond her. In desperation she formed her own tornado, hoping the two would cancel each other out.
The two storms converged, but rather than exhaust each other, they gained strength from each, a double funnel soon whirled dangerously around the gray alicorn.
Dash could see only one conclusion to this, and it was one she couldn't live with. So she did the only thing she could think of. She began to streak into the upper atmosphere.
Tornado looked about her, the brief flash of rage was gone, only sorrow remained. She could see the rainbow trail gaining altitude. Good. She would be far from the power that she had brought on herself because of her hubris. She did not hate Rainbow Dash, in another time, given other circumstances, they would have been friends. That was over now, Tornado would cease to exist very soon, and she was filled with a sense of relief. Soon these conflicting feelings would be over.
A roar approached. Good, the storm was approaching critical mass, it would consume her soon, she would be at peace. Her doom surrounded her, it was almost comforting.
The roar grew louder. This... was not from the storm! She looked all around at the deadly objects waiting to tear her flesh from her bones. Finally, she looked up.
Rainbow Dash streaked through at that precise moment. The shock wave that followed her was powerful beyond all belief. the storm was not dissipated, it was utterly annihilated. The Rainboom effect spread outward in a blinding rush of colors. The colors washed over Tornado, and in place of the gray, her coat and mane were now a fire red. She spied the pony plummeting to the earth at break neck speeds and sped after her. Rainbow had overdone it again.
Tornado caught her, and landed them both on a cloud that had somehow escaped the blast. She looked down at the pony who had risked her life to save an enemy.
"Why? Why did you do it?"
Rainbow coughed, and looked up. "I'd never leave anypony hanging. By the way, you look good in red T."
Tornado gazed at Dash quizzically. "That's the second time you have referred to me as "T". Why are you doing that?"
Rainbow looked at her and laughed lightly. "I like to give my friends nicknames. Applejack is AJ, Rarity is Rare, Twilight is Twi, Pinkie is Pinks, Fluttershy is 'Shy. I didn't want to call you Torn, Ado sounds weird, so you're T."
Tornado had nothing to say to this.
Rainbow looked at her seriously. "T, you have to understand, sometimes loyalty means telling your friends they are wrong. Sometimes it means helping ponies when they don't want your help. Couple free friendship lessons for ya."
Tornado smiled at this. "Where did someone so young gain such wisdom?"
Rainbow smiled. "I'd have to tell you a couple stories for that, one is about how I got my pet, he's a tortoise! Another is about a mysterious mare called Mare Do Well."
They flew back to the battlefield, Rainbow regaling her. Tornado listened and laughed.
In Twilight's Laboratory, the Element of Loyalty glowed. It regained it's former shape of a red lightning bolt.
Cann looked on in interest. "Good job Dash, good job."
Kindness, Honesty, and Generosity
Fluttershy followed Shimmer, not trying to overtake the pony, but simply keeping sight of her. Her wings beat the air steadily as she watched the pony flee. She knew Shimmer would eventually hole up somewhere, and Fluttershy would then attempt to coax her out. She had dealt with wounded animals many times. A wounded heart was not so different.
Shimmer was fleeing to nowhere in particular, she simply could not be near the ponies she had called friends any longer. Animals were so much simpler, they did not hate. They might attack in defense of their homes, or for food, but for vengeance's sake? She felt sick to have been compelled to hate ponies who had done no wrong. She had tried to dominate the mind of a pony who's only crime had been to ask her if she wanted help, if she wanted a friend. This was not a question she was used to hearing. Of the group her shoulder was always the one to cry on, the ear to bend; the one to smooth your mane and tell you everything was going to be alright, even as the world burned around you. Or rather, in the case of her friends, as they plotted to burn the world for crimes real and imagined.
If anypony was to blame for the current state of events, it was Shimmer. She had urged Luna and Celestia to perform the spells. Spells which would bond each of them to the stones Dawn had prepared to house their power. She had helped convince the other four that it was the right thing to do, to become weapons against Chaos. It was all supposed to be so simple. Her heart had ached for the ponies constantly subjected to the whims of Discord, they could barely match him, but if the plan worked, they would defeat him, imprison him in stone. Dawn had insisted binding their power and life to the "Elements" would magnify their potential power due in large part to the life they were sacrificing to give the world a chance. Shimmer only wanted assurance they would not be capable of being corrupted and turned against their own friends again. She bore a great weight of guilt for actions taken and words spoken to the two sisters during their corruption. She would not say it outright, but she felt Luna knew, if not Celestia... It was not merely for the sake of the world she wished to become a weapon, it was partially a way to give penance. She had been forgiven, but she could not forget her own own cruelty, or her betrayal.
Shimmer floated into a glade and stopped, huddling in the grass, it seemed a peaceful place. She had always loved such secluded places in the past, where no hoof touched, where birds animals and insects roamed freely.
Fluttershy landed some twenty hooves away. She said nothing, her body was tensed, ready for whatever might come. She did not know what to expect. An attack, a verbal assault? Maybe she would have to give chase again? She waited patiently, watching the gray pony in the distance. Shimmer spied her suddenly, and she sprang to her hooves. She ran at Fluttershy, who in turn braced for impact, for assault, but not for what came.
Hooves wrapped around her tightly, and a delicate swan-like head rested against her shoulder. She felt wetness and a hot breath sobbing against her. Fluttershy simply stayed motionless for a time, allowing the other pony to do what she wished. Finally she wrapped her forelegs around Shimmer, and covered her with her large yellow wings. "Shhhhh." Fluttershy murmured. "It's all going to be okay."
Shimmer was openly weeping now. She cried for the years she had missed of her friends lives. She cried for the anger and hatred forced on her by chaos and nightmare. She cried for her friends who had become tools for the very entity they had given up their lives to stop. She cried for the ponies now facing her friends who, despite having no expectation of being able to defeat them, stood up to them because it was the right thing to do. Fluttershy heard her self recriminations, her bitter recounts of the crimes she had committed, her loathing, her self hatred. She made no judgements, bore no ill will. She simply stood there, smoothed Shimmer's mane, and made soothing sounds.
Fluttershy watched in wonder as the weeping pony before her changed color slowly, from a drab gray to a brilliant living green. When Shimmer finally raised her head, Fluttershy smiled at the pony. "There now, do you feel better?"
Shimmer half-laughed, half-sobbed at that, and nodded.
Fluttershy smiled again. "Come on now, we have friends to help."
The two ponies flew side by side, nothing more being said, nothing needing to be said.
In the lab, the Element of Kindness shone brightly, and changed shape into a golden necklace adorned with a pink butterfly.
Applejack followed the faded purple of Blueberry. The two made steady progress away from the scene where four gods were even now proceeding to wreak long overdue vengeance upon each other.
Blueberry landed on a mountaintop overlooking the Whitetail woods. Applejack landed as well.
Blueberry nodded to Applejack, saying nothing.
Applejack was the first to break the silence. "What'll be cousin? We gonna hoof wrassle again or you just wanna set a spell and talk it out?"
Blue sighed. "How did you know what I was thinking?"
A.J. chuckled. "B'cause yer poker face is full of tells cuz. You're still feeling conflicted."
Blue looked startled at the idea, but nodded, getting the sense of it. "I'm a huge fool, you know? I could see the truth of the matter, you can't fool an old farmhand with snake oil and speeches. We were being used, but I couldn't say it. They wouldn't see it anyway, the control he had us under was too powerful, the hate she made us feel made a pony feel... righteous. Like what we were doing was only just. A part of me was always screaming it was all wrong, but I ignored it, my friends were more important than the plain and simple truth. The more I ignored it, the more I found nothing I said was true. My reality became a falsehood, a pretty lie I told to keep the peace. Lies can be danged seductive, you know? You want em to be true, and if you wish hard enough they can certainly seem true. Truth was always there though, holding a mirror up to my words, my actions, showing me the reality amongst the fiction that had become my life."
Applejack nodded. "Truth ain't something you can just ignore to make it go away. You can sugarcoat things all you like, it's still there under it all. To really see it, first you gotta be honest with yourself. So cousin, lemme ask you something, and tell me true. You sorry fer what you did?"
Blue nodded. "I am."
Applejack smiled. "You plan to make up fer it?"
Blue smiled back. "If I can."
Applejack strode forward and clapped a hoof on the shoulder of the pony with the purple coat. Her cutie mark shown out, looked like fresh berries ripe for picking. "Good enough fer me cuz. Let's head on back and show a couple of monsters they don't look like much in the plain light of day."
Blue nodded. She turned her head in question. "You keep calling me cousin, do you believe that?"
Applejack nodded earnestly. "You love the land, I can tell. All farmers have a kinship of sorts."
The farmponies flew in companionable silence.
The Element of Honesty began to shine, and reformed into the shape of a bright red apple set in a golden necklace.
Rarity pursued Sapphire, more glad than ever she had spent so much time building her strength in flight. She teleported ahead of the fleeing pony. "Darling, please stop, I know what you must be feeling right now. That's no reason to run from the world."
Sapphire did not respond, she just halted her flight. She hovered for a time, all but motionless. "I never told her you know... I told Luna once, but I swore her to secrecy. It wouldn't have been fair to burden her with that knowledge. I felt bad enough telling Luna, but at times the heart gets too full. You have let something out, or it feels it like will burst. I can't say if it was infatuation, deep admiration, or romantic inclination. I never let myself explore those feelings. It just felt-"
"Selfish." Rarity supplied. "You see something beautiful, something marvelous in a pony, something perhaps they themselves don't see. You want it for yourself, but you hold your tongue, you don't take the chance. You bottle those emotions up, because it might hurt them to not return those feelings. Irony isn't it? We're the ones who might get hurt, but we worry for the other pony because it might hurt them to even be asked!"
Sapphire nodded, looking up. "Who is it for you? I know unrequited love in a voice when I hear it. Come, it's only fair. You know mine."
Rarity sighed in frustration. "That stupid farmpony! She could be so beautiful if she gave two bits for her hair, if she'd ever conceive of wearing a proper gown! Those eyes, emerald green, so deep. I feel there must be hidden depths there, even if she professes to be open about everything in her mind. Those flanks, perfectly honed from years of bucking trees. She makes me so very angry I want to scream at times, and other times I just want to leap at her and-" She shivered.
Both ponies hovered in silence, lost in thought. Rarity spoke first. "Our crushes are about to need rescuing you know, wouldn't it be marvelously romantic to confess, flush after the victory of saving the world? I've always dreamed of a knight in white armor. I suppose I could play the role. What say you sister? Shall we go save our loves from peril?"
Sapphire smiled widely, her coat now a brilliantly deep blue. "I do like the way you think sister. Away! To battle!"
The element of Generosity glowed, reforming into a blue diamond set in gold.
Author's note:
Have no worries dear readers, Pinkie pie and Twilight are coming, and we'll be seeing a chapter devoted to Luna and Celestia as well. These three have already had a moment in the sun, they simply needed a moment to reconnect to their elements, to bring a little closure to their confrontations.
Pinkie Pie followed Lokey with interest, she wondered what the pony was like, what kind of cupcakes she preferred, if she liked pin the tail on the pony. She decided the best way to find out might be to ask, but the pony did not seem to be stopping anytime soon. She continued flying for a bit, then decided this was no fun after all. She blinked and suddenly Lokey found a pony riding on her back. Pinkie leaned down. "Psst, what kind of cupcakes do you like? I thought I could just make them all but that seemed silly when I could just ask you instead. Then I can make more of the type you like. My name is Pinkie Pie do you like parties? I bet you like parties, Twilight says you're the element of laughter, just like me, so you must like parties. Wow thats a neat cutie mark! Why are those masks laughing and frowning? How come the frowny mask seems bigger than the smiley one? That's weird... Oh, Twilight says sometimes I have to stop talking or other ponies can't answer. Okay, I am going to stop talking for a bit, you talk now!" Pinkie looked around... she had been riding sidesaddle on Lokey, but now she found herself riding... nothing. She glided on for a bit before Gravity suddenly demanded to know what the hell she thought she was doing and began pulling her to the ground. She recovered quickly of course, but she could not figure out what had happened to the pony she had been talking to just now.
She looked around in confusion, and finally spotted the mare sitting casually on a cloud some fifty hooves away. She grinned and flew towards her, and that's when the whale fell on her.
The whale thrashed its tail about futilely trying to swim in an environment it was quite clearly not designed to live in. What a whale was doing in midair was anypony's guess, but it was a very uncomfortable thing to have fall on you.
Pinkie looked at the ground rushing up to meet her. While she normally enjoyed meeting new friends having one fall on her head was not the ideal way to do so. My that is getting close isn't it. We should probably do something about that. Pinkie looked up at the whale, and turned it into a bowl of petunias. There, thats better. Much easier to carry. Now, about the ground... she reoriented her body so her hooves were pointed up, and her fall slowed, and stopped. She began to fall upwards, aiming for the cloud that supported the pony with the interesting cutie mark.
She landed softly, setting the plant down, where it stayed. Gravity and Logic looked the other way, they had met this pony before, and wanted nothing to do with her when she was acting like this. Logic left the scene, she was needed elsewhere. Gravity called Physics and Common Sense over for a game of cards.
Pinkie peeked down, or rather up, at the gray pony. "Hi again! Was that some kind of prank? That wasn't very nice to the fish you know, somepony could have been hurt! Pranks shouldn't hurt anypony you know, it's not funny if somepony gets hurt."
Lokey looked down in sorrow. "Oh, I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt anypony." Her expression changed, an evil grin lit up her face. "I did, however, mean to hurt you, you ridiculous pink powder puff!"
Pinkie scratched her head, then the cloud exploded.
"Hey! What are you doing?" She looked down, or rather up, and found herself falling into the sky. She turned around again, that should sort the ground out. Lokey waved at her playfully from another cloud. Pinkie flew to the cloud only to see the pony vanish. She heard sobbing from the distance. "Pinkie I am sorry if I hurt you, I really am, it might be best if you flee." This was followed by mocking laughter. "Yes, flee before I decide to do something you'll regret."
Pinkie cocked her head in confusion, this was one crazy pony, laughing one second, crying the next. This wasn't happy laughter though, this was the mocking hurtful laughter that had made her turn into Grumpy Pie during Discord's last escape. "You shouldn't laugh at somepony else! You laugh with them, not at them!"
The pony began to weep again, then flew up to her and poked her in the snout. The evil grin was back. "Somepony can't take a joke? Here, perhaps this will make things better." She pulled out a bouquet of daisies and shoved them into Pinkie's face. The flowers exploded into a cloud of bees.
Pinkie sputtered and waved her hooves around to fend off the insects. She blinked and the bees turned into butterflies, which flew off gently in the breeze. Lokey howled laughter, and as she did so Pinkie noted something interesting. Her cutie mark changed, the smiling pony mask was bigger now.
Lokey stifled the laugh and began weeping. "Pinkie I am so sorry, but you cannot be around me when I am like this, I may hurt you badly!" The cutie mark shifted again, the frowning pony mask was larger.
Pinkie mused for a moment. "So you don't want to hurt me, but you also do?"
Lokey cried. "Yes, I don't want to hurt you!" Lokey laughed evilly. "Oh yes, I would love to hurt you."
The masks had shifted again.
Pinkie's head turned quizzically. She mulled this over. Finally her brain arrived at an answer. "There's two of you in there! A crying pony and a meany pony!"
Lokey grinned mockingly. "Good job, here's a cigar!" She shoved a cigar in Pinkie's face which promptly exploded, leaving her coat blackened. Pinkie shook herself and grinned.
"I'm going to call you Weepy and Meany! I need to throw a double party for this, do you both like different food? What games do you like? Oh this will be so much fun to plan for!" Pinkie bounced in midair, looking for all the world as if she had forgotten she was supposed to be flying. Common sense whistled and asked for a new card, Gravity dealt, and Physics folded. Physics glanced up from the card game at the pink pony bouncing in the sky, and decided things were still a little too weird to get involved with. The next hand was coming up soon after all.
Weepy looked horrified. "Pinkie you don't understand, I want to kill you, well not me but the other me. You need to run."
Meany smiled. "Yes, please do, I love a good chase."
Pinkie beamed her best smile. "OOOO a challenge! I love those! Weepy, you seem nice, how do I make Meany smile?"
Weepy shook her head sadly. "I don't think you can, not when I am like this. I am always of two minds, but its far far worse now. I used to just pull harmless pranks, now I want to hurt ponies."
Pinkie rolled that around in her brain, the die landed on a critical hit. "I know, Twilight taught me a spell for this, hold still!"
Lokey dodged the pony and threw a box of weasels at her.
Pinkie caught the weasels and attached a bunch of balloons to the box. They floated gently to the ground.
Weepy cried. "She can do anything, don't you see? It's impossible to win against her."
Pinkie smirked. "Nothing's impossible silly filly!"
Meany laughed. "Well, perhaps you're right, but its very very improbable."
Pinkie bounced excitedly. "Oh! Oh! How improbable?"
Meany chortled. "Infinitely." That's when the shoe hit her.
It was a large shoe to be sure, sleek and white. A door panel opened on the side of it and a pony in a bathrobe looked out.
A pony with two heads and five hooves poked his head out the door. He looked down at the pony his ship had just crushed, then looked over to Pinkie. "Oh, hey Pie. How's it going? Everything cool and froody?"
Pinkie smiled. "Yeppers! We still on for drinks next week?"
Zaphod nodded, and put on two pairs of shades. "Gotta go now Pie, got a date." Zaphod stepped back inside. "Eddie, try again, I think you divided by zero or something, that is not the planet we wanted."
The ship disappeared with a loud pop, leaving an unconscious pony lying on nothing at all. Physics called Gravity a damn cheater and stormed off.
Pinkie flew to the grey pony and touched her with her horn, casting the memory spell. Common sense tried to dictate this alone wouldn't work, but then threw her hands up. Whatever you want Pinkie.
Lokey stirred. Her coat was a brilliant golden hue. She laughed, a throaty heartfelt chuckle. "Did anypony get the number for that shoe?"
Pinkie hugged Lokey. "Are you feeling better now? Can we have a party?"
Lokey smiled. "We can have a big party to celebrate after we play with Discord. C'mon, this is gonna be fun!"
The element of laughter began to shine like a miniature sun. The stone formed into a bright blue balloon shaped gem set in gold.
Twilight Sparkle approached with caution. Dawn had landed on a lonely mountain top in the Swayback mountains. The sun was setting slowly, still providing its light. She felt a cold and ominous wind whip over the range.
She was uncertain what this strange alicorn would do when approached. She knew so very little about this pony. She was a magic talent, somepony even Celestia and Luna considered powerful. She had created the ritual that had allowed for the powers of six alicorns to be bound into stones. She apparently was the driving force behind the other five alicorns supporting the decision to support Discord. Twilight knew well what trickery Discord could manage, but how exactly did a pony go from fighting chaos to supporting it? She was an unknown, Twilight hated unknowns, they made her nervous. She... was looking right at Twilight.
Dawn beckoned. "Come forward child of magic. I would have words with you."
Twilight landed a few hooves away from Dawn. She scuffed a hoof in nervous energy. "Do you know why I followed you?"
Dawn nodded. "You wish to convince me of the error of my ways. You need my help to quell chaos. Perhaps you wish to redeem me. Does that sum it up child?"
Twilight nodded. The questions seemed so astute, so reasonable. "Will you help us?"
Dawn sighed. "Child, what do you know of harmony?"
Twilight mused. Why such a simple question? "It's when a pony is at peace with itself?"
Dawn looked angry. "You are a fool. Harmony is balance, balance in spirit, in the world. Think on this, child. Why did the elements not destroy Discord?"
Twilight looked flummoxed. How had she never even considered that? Nightmare Moon had been all but destroyed, leaving the princess behind, yet the elements only imprisoned Discord? "I never thought to even question that..."
Dawn nodded. "I thought as much. I once was as blind to the nature of harmony as you. I thought power could destroy that which was destructive. Harmony is not so simple child. The world needs light and dark, it also requires order... and chaos."
Twilight denied this vehemently. "No, he's a capricious spirit of destruction, he ruined ponies' lives with endless turmoil!"
Dawn smiled, as a teacher would to a student with a good, yet incomplete answer. "That is why Harmony bound him, he was unchecked. Chaos was bound to restore balance and order to the world, but you cannot destroy it entirely. Order has had over one thousand years of unchecked supremacy. Chaos was able to break free because the world... needs him."
Twilight shook her head. "You can't possibly know that. How can the world need somepony to destroy it?"
Dawn nodded again. "A valid observation. I know because it is my business to know, it is my TALENT to know. I understand order and chaos just as I understand light and darkness."
She turned slightly, the fading sun cast relief on her cutie mark. Twilight knew that symbol... it was on the flag of Equestria.
Twilight stared for a time, no words would come. Finally she spoke. "You're supporting evil, to promote harmony?"
Dawn raised her head in pride. "Who better than I? I created the elements you wield with impunity. Or did, before Discord removed our essence from them. You wish to support harmony? Join me. We will restore balance by ensuring neither order or chaos hold sway. Order unchallenged is no better than Chaos unchecked."
Twilight shook her head sadly. "You're mad!"
Dawn nodded sadly. "I expected as much. Well then, we have tried words, shall we decide who is right by way of might? I'll warn you child, I am committed to my course of action, I will not have pity on you."
Twilight spoke up in protest, but Dawn wasted no time, she teleported to Twilight's position and speared at her with her long powerful horn. Twilight reacted quickly, teleporting far into the sky where she would have more maneuverability. The horn jabbed into the flash of light a fraction of a second late.
Dawn grabbed a huge boulder from the mountainside with her magic and flung it at Twilight, who quickly cast a shield spell to block it. The force of the boulder shattered the spell, flinging Twilight backwards. She cried out. "It doesn't have to be this way! Don't do this Dawn!"
Dawn yanked several trees from the ground and flung them like spears at the purple alicorn, it was all Twilight could do to dodge them. She followed up with yet more boulders. She looked up in disappointment. "Come child, is your resolve so weak? Will you do nothing more than defend yourself?"
Twilight glared in anger. "Fine! You wanted this!" She cast on nearby clouds, brewing a storm. She sent lightning strikes at the gray alicorn. Dawn stood calmly, looking for all the world unworried. The bolts struck true, but Dawn looked unphased.
Dawn nodded. "Better, perhaps you have some spirit after all." She cast a wind spell, a great gale sprung from the north. The clouds Twilight had manipulated were blown away in a gale. Twilight flew desperately against the wind. She cast her own spell and a warm southern breeze still the air to tranquility once more.
Twilight looked up the the high stratus clouds. "I have more spirit than you could ever know, my friends give me strength!" Casting, she called hale stones the size of pumpkins. which fell like a meteor swarm from the sky. Dawn looked up regarding the coming storm. She countered with an arc of flame, the ice melted and became a thick mist which obscured the pony, and indeed much of the sky Twilight flew in.
Twilight looked around in the mist, frantically trying to remember Dawn's position. She never noticed the boulder which crushed her ribcage. She gasped for air as the bones knit themselves back together. She needed something the other pony would not expect...
Inspiration struck.
"Twilight you're still using too much magic! I am running out of busts for you to test with!"
"Sorry Celestia, let me try again..."
"How did you manage to set stone on fire?"
She looked down at the mountaintop and, using a Sight spell, looked deep into the heart of the mountain. Yes... there was power here, it could be brought back to life. She reached for the dormant heart of the volcano which had created this mountain. She poured power into it, holding back nothing. Her mane began to shimmer and lengthen in soft undulating curls.
The mountaintop exploded in a gout of fire and brimstone. Dawn one moment stood on stable footing, not deigning to join her quarry in the air, and the next was caught in the blaze. The mountain sent up fountains of lava and plumes of smoke. The jagged crater smouldered. Twilight looked around the wreckage. She did not think even a volcano would kill an alicorn. Still, she looked, Dawn could be badly hurt. "Dawn? Are you alrigh-" She was cut off by her throat being held by two strong hooves.
From the plume of smoke Dawn had rushed forward and grasped Twilight in her hooves. Dawn had murder in her eyes, she coughed from the smoke and ash filling her lungs. "I will crush you for that-"
Dawn felt something on tapping her on her back, she looked back, and saw the same pony she held in her hooves smiling at her.
Dawn stared. "Who are you?"
"Oh, I'm Twilight as well. I'm here from next week. You see, I'm just here to distract you while my past self does that.” She pointed at present Twilight, who was leaning forward; lowering her horn, and casting the memory spell.
"What? How?" Dawn collapsed in exhaustion. Twilight now held her, preventing the other Alicorn from falling.
Future Twilight looked at Twilight. "You have a decision to make, make the right one. This pony is not entirely wrong, listen to her. I have faith in you." In a flash she was gone.
Dawn coughed. She was uncertain how this event had transpired, how the universe seemed to be conspiring against her when things seemed so clear... but somehow this mare gave her hope that she could win... Perhaps she was worthy to restore harmony. "Clever girl. Very well, child, I will concede my power to you. You must now decide how to restore balance. Bring Harmony back to this land." Dawn's coat changed from gray to the black of a moonless night.
Twilight landed them both, and held up a hoof to help Dawn to her own feet, Dawn clasped it.
The element of magic harmonized with the five other elements, it reformed into the shape of a crown. Each element appeared on the pony who was it's bearer.
Pinkie had just finished her "Sending Twilight off to save the world" party, it was quite the event. Sixteen guests of honor made for quite the celebration. It had gone on well into the night, and much fun was had by all. Now it was time. Twilight prepared the ritual, and gathered power for the spell. Her friends, new and old, watched her cast. One of the alicorns in particular looked pleased, but also slightly annoyed. She at long last understood what had happened. She leaned close to Celestia. "This explains so much, so that unicorn you were training, the one with the penchant for beards, bells, and large ungainly hats, came up with a workable time travel spell..."
Celestia nodded. "Starswirl was a genius. He designed the spell to have utility, but to prevent abuse. You cannot return to the exact same point in time more than once, but you can return to one moment in time and affect events in a very limited sense."
The black coated alicorn hung her head, she had asked Twilight many questions after their confrontation, but Twilight had only said to wait, that answers would come. She shook her head. "Fascinating... The universe wanted this I suppose, I was so sure at the time I had the answers..."
Celestia laid a hoof on her friend in comfort. "We've all made mistakes. Come, let's sit and talk awhile. Twilight will be back soon. Pinkie has another party planned for the return. That mare is incorrigible."
The ebon mare smiled. "Yes, but infectious."
Nightmare dodged the latest round of fireballs, grinning as she did so. "Seems like old times Luna. Your anger is delicious, it tastes like honey on my tongue." She sent a blast of black fire back to the attacking princess.
"THOU WILT ADDRESS US AS PRINCESS, YOUR MAJESTY, OR IF THOU WISHEST, THOU MAYEST SIMPLY BEG FOR THY LIFE! THOU HAST NO RIGHT TO ADDRESS US WITH ANY FAMILIARITY, DEMON!" She blasted each word, the Royal Canterlot Voice was more than a convenient way to address the masses. In the right hooves, it was a weapon, capable of deflecting attacks or driving back enemies. Luna used it to full effect, she supposed she could be heard for miles. Very well, let them hear the Princess of the Night destroying that which they feared. The wraith before her represented her biggest life's failure. She had given into temptation and accepted power from a dark and terrible entity. In that state she had waged a terrible war on her own sister, the only friend she had left in the world... Was it mere jealousy? Perhaps she had been angry at the world in general? Had part of her been bitter with Celestia for assisting in her second biggest failure?
Nightmare resorted to mist form for a moment to weather the worst of the sonic assault. "Come now "Princess", it wasn't all bad was it? You were angry, you wanted power, so you could act on your anger. I gave it to you." Nightmare smiled warmly. She gave a look to Luna, as a patient mother might look on a child who was throwing a tantrum for no reason, and knew it would soon end.
"YOU FORCED ME TO NEARLY KILL MY OWN SISTER!" She tore more of her creation from the sky, it was not visible in the waning day but the stars were ever there, they came at her call. She blasted the creature of dark fire with meteors and comets.
Nightmare scoffed. "Forced? I did nothing of the kind. I fed on your anger and returned it as rage and power! You acted on it, you came up with the plan to force eternal darkness on a world dependent on sunlight to live! Brilliant, by the way, imagine the starving ponies shivering in the cold, the despair in their eyes as they cursed you for an uncaring tyrant who doomed them because she felt "unappreciated". Oh, how I would have feasted on their sorrow. In the end, there would have been only you remaining, and I would have fed for eternity on your regret. Everything would have been perfect, if not for the elements which bound us both to the moon, and later separated us." She blinked from existence to reappear safely out of the path of destruction. She looked down. "Oh how wonderful, it seems somepony lives down there. This should be quite entertaining." She stared down in hunger, waiting for the coming death.
Luna looked down in panic. Her starfall was speeding towards an unassuming abode, built inside of a hollow tree in the middle of the woods. She sped forward to intercept it. Nightmare followed, flying close to Luna's ear. "Will you make it? Will you survive the blow? Will you have blood on your hooves because you opposed me? I can't wait to find out dear "Princess"..."
Luna whipped her tail around and struck Nightmare, who fell back laughing. She broke the sound barrier handily, and had she looked back she would have seen a growing wave of darkness spreading out in an explosion. For just a moment the sky lost its sunlight, and the night sky shone in all its glory. She threw up a barrier and simultaneously grasped the falling stars with her magic, altering their trajectory. They bounced of her shield and flew upwards into the sky, returning to their intended course in her celestial plan.
She turned to face Nightmare, who only grinned wider. "Don't you see "Your Highness?" You attempt to oppose me, and you only end up hurting the ones you love!" She punctuated this statement with another lash of dark fire.
Luna regained her bearings and glared hate at the abomination. "When I gave in I nearly killed everyone! You vile deceiver! You promised power and delivered hate and madness!"
Nightmare waved a hoof tauntingly. "I amplified what was there "Princess", no more. The hate you felt was your own. However you are past all that now aren't you? You love your ponies, you love your sister. You hate Discord, more I suspect than you hate me. Wouldn't you like the power needed to defend her, and all your subjects? I can offer you that. Join with me again Luna-" She specifically used the more familiar name now, regardless of Luna's stated wishes. "We could defeat him, you resisted a full bond when we last joined, if you give yourself to me without reserve we could easily best him. Think how everypony would love you, the savior of the entire world and of your own sister who you once attacked. One thousand years of distrust and fear would be wiped away in a single instant!"
Luna shook her head. "Never again, I would never be so naive as to trust you." She cast a fireball spell aimed at Nightmare's chest.
Nightmare cancelled the attack with her own ball of dark fire. "That is unfortunate, Celestia could have used the help. Oh look, isn't that her crashing now?"
Luna watched in horror as her sister was flung to the ground. "CELESTIA!"
"This could have been planned better." Celestia decided, coldly analyzing the battle as it progressed. She was not going to win, at best she hoped to buy time for the six to recover their elements.
"Come now Celestia, is that the best you have in you? You hardly seem to be giving this your full attention. Don't I warrant that courtesy at least?" Discord rained flaming rubber ducks from the sky, then tossed a bathtub full of snakes at her.
Celestia smiled apologetically. "How could I be so rude? Do forgive me dear, you were saying?" She aimed a precision solar flare at the draconequis. He gave a mocking bow and snapped his fingers, the solar flare became a spotlight.
Discord pulled a microphone from nowhere.
"Ahem . This is dedicated, to the mare I loved." His eyes twinkled. A brass band with piano accompaniment appeared, played entirely by house cats.
"At first I was afraid I was petrified
"And now I'm back from inner space.
He winked knowingly while Celestia glared. He had once asked her to simply let him be, or even join him, professing admiration for the strong willed mare who dared to stand against him when all of her friends had turned on her. He suddenly swept her up in a waltz.
"So I go, I walked out the door
The Waltz became a slightly quicker paced foxtrot, he always was a good dancer, even if he only did so to mock.
"Oh no, not I. I will survive
The band played for a while, and the foxtrot turned into a tango. Discord grasped a rose in his teeth and marched her across the sky.
"It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
They completely one circuit, and Celestia grasped the rose from his teeth.
And you see me somepony new
At the climax of the song he dipped her low, then grinned, smashing her straight in the teeth with his clawed fist. She plummeted to the earth creating a crater in her impact zone. "I told you once you would fall for me, did I not?" Discord called after her.
Celestia shook her head, dazed in more ways than one. She looked up to see a streak of darkness across the fading light of the afternoon. "CELESTIA!" Luna sped forward, aimed low, and arched high striking Discord in the jaw in a dazzling uppercut.
Discord regained his footing on a cloud some thirty hooves from the location he had been struck. He wiggled his jaw in apparent discomfort. He raised his voice so both could hear. "Really now, this has been fun but you both have to know you can't win here, what did you expect to happen? I am tired of pulling punches with you, I truly am. I won't be captured again, so why must we fight? I'm going to call this mate in one move unless you have something more up your sleeve."
Celestia rose from her kneeling position, and darted to her sister. They grinned. "Sister-" Luna said. "-perhaps it's time we changed dance partners."
Celestia grinned predatorily at the approaching Nightmare. A chance to lay hooves on the being that cost her one thousand years of loneliness? Oh yes, that was something to look forward to.
Luna smiled sweetly at Discord. "Shall we dance, chaos?"
Nightmares and Dreamscapes
Celestia flew towards her prey. The grin on her face was truly disturbing. She looked... almost possessed. Luna would not want to be in Nightmare's place at the moment, even if she had been once before. Celly had not wished to harm her, and had done little but defend herself, despite Luna's constant attacks and insults. Luna deeply regretted her actions in retrospect, but at the time she had only felt rage. How dare Celestia! Not only did she have the adulation of the kingdom, but she could have had the common courtesy to take Luna seriously when she had been trying to kill her! She could see now; upon reflection, Celestia would not have been able to attack her, even to save her own life. Nightmare, however... no, Luna did not want to be in her horseshoes right now.
Discord began to laugh. It was a long, throaty laugh of a villain certain he had won the day. "Really, you and me? You can't be serious. Luna really, this is adult time. Why don't you go play with your dolls like a good girl?"
Luna blushed, then glared at him in anger. "That is not smart of you, underestimating an opponent like that. No, not wise at all."
Discord scoffed. He wiped a tear from his eyes, flicking it down to the ground, where it promptly turned a tree into a frog. "Forgive me Luna, I mean no offense. Well, perhaps a little. Okay, you got me. I am mocking you. In all seriousness though, Celestia can barely keep up with me, how in the world do you possibly expect to do any better?"
Luna gave him a dazzling smile. "Who said anything about being in this world?" Her body began to take on the attributes of smoke as she glided forward towards him. Her smile stretched, and her body became nebulous. The mouth widened as a snake's maw would. It snapped at him, and around him. The dark, nebulous cloud enveloped the draconequus.
The smoke finally cleared, and Discord looked around. He found himself sitting at a desk. Fillies and colts were furiously working on an assignment of some sort. The walls had crude drawings in crayon. The Equestrian Alphabet studded the top of the blackboard. He seemed to be far smaller than he remembered. He looked down at the paper on his desk.
"For each positive integer n, there is a circle around the origin with radius n. Rainbow Dash starts off somewhere on the plane, but not on a circle. She takes off in some direction in a straight path. She moves √5/5 units before crossing a circle, then √5 units, then 3√5/5 units. What distance will she travel before she crosses another circle?"
He glanced around the room curiously, not certain what to make of any of this. A ruler slammed down on his desk. He looked up at the offending wielder of the ruler.
She towered above him; with a dark-blue coat, flashing eyes, and a mane that whipped about in a wind that was not there. In a voice that would accept no excuses, she said, "Eyes on your own paper!"
The entire class turned on him, staring. He sank down in his chair. He looked at the question again, but could still make neither head nor tails of it. The eyes would not look away, and from the back of the room, the laughter started. It was one pony, but soon the others joined in, all laughing and jeering at him. The teacher looked down her nose disdainfully. “I see somepony forgot to study.” She huffed and turned around, settling back at her desk. The laughter would not stop, in fact, it rose to a roar that hurt his ears. He glared about himself in rage.
Wait... none of this was right, why was he here? What was going on? His head felt... muddled. He looked at the teacher again. She looked... familiar in some way. Not in the sense one would expect to be familiar with a teacher. He... hated her? Why would he hate her?
Luna... yes, he remembered now. The fillies and colts were tossing wads of paper at him. He had laughed at her, and she had done... something. Why was all this happening, it almost felt like a-
“-a dream?” Luna laughed.
“What have you done to me?!” Discord looked at her, half in anger, half in fear.
The children began pelting him with erasers and pencils now.
Discord roared in anger. He pointed at Luna. “You... how did you do it?”
Luna tittered in laughter. “Welcome Chaos, to my realm.”
Celestia flew at Nightmare with a speed that would have had Rainbow Dash truly impressed. Nightmare was, of course, pursuing Luna. She was not expecting to be confronted by the elder sister. She had expected the elder to be occupying Discord while Nightmare was free to tempt Luna into another merging of souls. This was not part of the plan...
Celestia looked upon the physical manifestation of her sister's rage and hate with interest. She regarded the pony made of dark fire as a cat would look upon a small rodent. She grinned her best grin, the one she reserved for nobles who had annoyed her enough to be sent to the dungeon.
Nightmare stared defiantly at the goddess. "Hello Celestia, did you enjoy your trip to the sun last year?"
Celestia nodded graciously. "Oh yes, it was good to visit again. The heat does wonders for me. Perhaps you'd like to visit there yourself?"
Nightmare did not respond. She only flew at Celestia, both forelegs extended as if she intended to rip the goddess in two with her bare hooves.
Celestia met Nightmare's hooves with her own. The two struggled against one another, the irresistible force battering against the immovable object. Nightmare's mane flared up in a dark inferno, her eyes blazed in hatred. Celestia met the gaze coolly. "Do you know; I have always wondered how I might react to this moment. My sister has been returned to me, and yet I still feared she may one day walk the same path she did one thousand years before. Anger and hate are powerful emotions, seductive to the heart. I feel it pouring from you. Would you care to know what I feel for you?"
Nightmare only struggled harder, dark fire flared up. It sent sparks from her hooves. "I could not care less for your feelings!"
Celestia gazed upon the wretched creature. "I find myself feeling nothing... You are a product of hate and despair wrought from the mind of my sister. You caused her to attempt the deaths of countless ponies; myself included. I do not hate you. You must be stopped, but I will not do so from anger." Her horn flared up, and the heat of the sun flared from her eyes to strike the dark pony.
Nightmare reared back in pain. Her face was scorched with flame. "I hate you, you arrogant excuse for a princess. I should have killed you when we escaped. Luna fought me, she fought me ! She demanded we send you to the sun instead! Now, I will correct that error." The dark flames grew in size, around her the light just seemed to be sucked in, as if she was leaching the life from the daylight.
Celestia calmly regarded the pony which just had threatened to kill her. She began to glow, softly at first, but soon the soft light grew blinding. The sun shined from within her, in all its glory. Where the light touched the dark fire burned with white-hot flame.
Nightmare's fire was extinguished; she looked upon her tormentor with pain filled eyes. She did the only sensible thing, the only possible thing she could: She fled.
Discord covered himself in embarrassment. He was dressed only in a pair of boxers. He could not quite reach his power in this world. It was removed from the natural chaos he could touch in every atom in the physical world. He was a god; he had no need to sleep! This dream realm was alien to him in nearly every way that mattered. He found himself quite out of his element here. However, there was something... yes. He felt it inside Luna, herself! In every pony, a spark of chaos existed, a potential if you will. He tapped it, and was flooded with power.
He laughed, a long deep laugh. It grew louder and lower in tone, for he was growing ever larger with every second. The fillies and colts scattered as he outgrew the confines of the room. His head crashed into the ceiling. He continued to expand, his body destroying the building he was emerging from. He began stomping about in his glee, trying to catch Luna under his cloven hooves. He let out a loud roar as he regarded the city of Canterlot. Yes, this would do nicely. He began thrashing his fists about leveling buildings.
A fanfare sounded out. Luna was on the ground, playing a flute of some type. He looked closer. No... it was not a flute, but a knife of some sort, with holes bored into it. He barely recognized her in that green outfit, nice trim though, very flashy. Still, if she thought she could stop him with a pleasant tune, he would happily disabuse her of the notion. He raised a hoof, ready to smash her into paste.
He stumbled as the ground shook under him. A massive... metallic lizard rose from the ground. Luna took off and landed inside an opening inside the mechanized monstrosity. The lizard struck a pose , and raising one hand, made a gesture Discord knew well. Come at me if you dare.
Luna's voice resonated from the giant mech. "HAVE AT YE, CHAOS!" The mech flew forward with rocket boosters aiding its charge, striking Discord in the chest. He was pushed backwards into a building, crushing it under his weight.
He swung on the mech, smashing his fist into the head. "Do you think you can keep me here in this dream forever Luna? I have to say I am impressed, in your own element you are nearly as chaotic as I. Perhaps you'd like to join me on a romp one day?"
Luna scoffed from within her mech. She backhanded him in a furious attack. "I have heard these lines before Chaos, Nightmare offered to lend me her power to aid in your destruction. It seems you inspire little loyalty being so capricious."
Discord smirked. "I expect nothing of the fools I tricked into this little charade. You think me some mastermind whose scheme is falling apart do you? My plan is not so complex Luna. I want to be free. So far, it's been one hundred percent effective."
Luna paused in her assault. "You cannot be serious! You took the very first opportunity upon your release from stone to wreak havoc on the land! You tainted the elements of harmony, and the bearers! How can your aim be anything but a conquest?!"!"
Discord slammed both fists against the chest of the mech. "I spent two millennia trapped in stone Luna, do you even have half an idea what that is like? Oh, right, I guess you do. Forgive a god if he gets a little stir crazy!"
Luna stumbled back; the mech was taking damage badly. "Enough! Friendship cannon, activate!" Six lights began to power up upon the sixth light, a beam of rainbow poured from the chest of the mech.
Discord dodged, and the beam seared past him. It tore through buildings, into the air beyond... and left a hole in the night sky. Sunlight poured through it.
Discord goggled at it a moment, then grinned and flew straight at it. He saluted as he flew through it. "See you on the other side Luna!"
Luna exited the cockpit and gave chase. "Chaos! We are not done with thee!"
Discord flew from the nebulous cloud of Luna's magic. He glanced around, seeing no sign of Celestia. Wait... no, that was Nightmare fleeing her now.
Luna reformed from mist and charged at him. "You will not escape me, Chaos!"
Nightmare reached him, Celestia hot on her heels. Discord chuckled. "Well now, it seems we're all evened up again. Really, though, this is pointless, you cannot beat me."
A voice rose from the distance. He knew it well, for he'd spoken with her often, trying to break her hope while he twisted the minds of her friends. He had laughed at her as he made her watch helplessly while he turned her home into a chaotic hell. "We'd like to weigh in on that Discord!"
Twelve alicorns joined the two he faced. Worse, the jewelry he had come to fear in their last encounter adorned six of them. The bearers and elements joined the royal pony sisters in surrounding Nightmare and Discord. This was it, the worst-case scenario. He'd be turned to stone again, and Nightmare would be returned to the ether from which she was born. He had nothing to lose any longer, and neither did she. They had tried their best.
Discord let out a sigh. "Well, the jig is up. Plan B?"
Nightmare paused, looked at her approaching doom, and nodded. "Plan B it is."
She shifted to mist and enveloped Discord. An ominous rumbling began. Flashes of light speared from the black cloud. The earth shook; the sky darkened, and a blood-red moon appeared in the sky. Thunder roared as the sound of hellish laughter washed over the group. Nopony knew what to make of this.
Pinkie Pie looked around in panic. "Gals, the GM just bumped up the challenge rating! Roll for initiative!"
Everypony looked at her in confusion. She grunted in frustration. "Just get ready! Something big is coming!"
Bonus Chapter: D&D Ending
Author's note: To the readers of tomorrow: Hello, thank you for reading this far. The following is a little April's fool chapter I came up with. It's actually an ending I toyed with for a time, before finally discarding it. While it would have been funny to me to end things in such a cliche way, it would not be fair to the story to do so. I don't take my story overly seriously, but even I know a bad ending can ruin a tale. I felt if there was one day I could get away with posting this, it was April Fools Day. More chapters follow of course.
Twilight Sparkle furiously went through her monster manual. "Here it is, a Great Wyrm Prismatic Dragon: CR 66. Oh, this is not good."
Pinkie looked over her shoulder. "Looks fun! Oh... That could be bad."
Applejack was looking over her sheet for encounter abilities, she had saved them for the end boss. "What's up Sparkle?"
Twilight held the book up. She pointed to a certain passage. "It's apparently immune to any light based attacks. 'Prismatic dragons cannot be harmed by any light, including Evocation [Light] spells, searing light, and the various prismatic (sphere, spray, wall) spells. In addition, they are immune to any spell or effect that causes blindness.' That basically nullifies the elements. Guys even with the npc element bearers I think we're hosed."
Rarity pored over her spell sheet. "Perhaps a "wish" spell? We could try to counteract it’s natural defenses."
Twilight shook her head sadly, "Wish is kinda limited in the latest update, it can duplicate spell effects but this is a natural immunity. You can try for more grand effects but phrase it just the wrong way and the DM will screw us over with something worse." She glared at the pony waiting patiently for them to finish their little planning session. He grinned back.
Fluttershy meekly spoke up. "Maybe if we asked for godly intervention? I haven't asked my deity for anything this session..."
Twilight considered, but then remembered last session. "You ticked off the DM last week by asking your deity to grant you a grain sack of plenty to take care of your animal companions. He said your deity cut you off for a week until you learn to stop making petty requests."
Rainbow laughed. "Gals I got this, me and Tornado are gonna whip the skies into a funnel of death and watch it tear this thing apart."
The DM called over to the group. "You ready? I need to get this rolling or we'll have to pack it up and wait for next week."
Twilight sighed. "Ready girls?"
All. "Ready!"
Everypony rolled for initiative. Pinkie rolled an 18, Twilight a 14, Rarity rolled 13, Fluttershy a 1. Pinkie winced. "Flutters, you need a new d20, that one is cursed."
Rainbow Dash grinned from ear to ear. "Natural 20, that's how I roll!"
The DM noted the scores. "The Dragon rolls a 17-"
Rainbow grinned even wider. "Okay, so Pinkie and I go first. Pinkie you sing us a song to boost our INT, we're gonna need it to do more damage with the Tornado-"
The DM held up a hoof. "You didn't let me finish. It has improved initiative, that's a total score of 21. Dragon goes first."
The DM rolled. "Biting attack, called shot, 86 points of damage. He just bit off Tornado's wing." He rolled again. "Cleave, called shot, 108 points of damage. Dash your left wing is gone. You'll survive the fall but you're both grounded."
Dash looked over her sheet. She needed to be in the air to move the clouds. This bucked up everything! "You know what? Buck this game, and buck you for wasting nearly two months of my time only to pit me against something I can't beat!" She grabbed her dice bag in her teeth and stormed off.
Twilight watched her friend walk away. "Sorry girls, lemme talk to her tomorrow. See if she cools off."
Everypony packed up, the game, for the moment, was over.
And there we have it, the end of my fic. I hope you enjoyed it everypony. No, quit looking at the calendar, there is no way I would troll all you fine people just because of a date. No way at all. That's totally the ending. Yep, nothing more to come. The whole thing has been just a D&D game. Yep, worst ending ever. I know, I am a horrible horrible person. Oh, and if you haven’t figured it out by now, yes, more chapters to follow.
Logic, Common Sense, and Physics looked over the scene in earnest. The presence of Pinkie Pie and Lokey unnerved them, and the presence of Discord gave them the screaming willies, but they felt perhaps they had some say over the other twelve ponies present. Logic peaked into the black shifting ball of malice. She shook her head, they would not be needed here. She motioned to the others they should just go back to helping things make sense elsewhere. She waved goodbye to Pinkie, who waved back, smiling warmly.
"Bye guys, see you at the poker game next Tuesday!"
"Who are you talking to?" Rainbow asked tersely.
"Tell you later Dashie!"
Everypony was watching the amalgam of their two most dangerous enemies, wondering what horrors awaited them. The dreadful laughter and blood red moon was not filling anypony with confidence at the moment.
Luna knew most of all what Nightmare was capable of. Furthermore, she had seen Discord at his worst. If she had been corrupted by Nightmare's influence, what was a being of Discord's demeanor capable of when augmented by that kind of malice? That was the real question, Discord was malicious, there was no doubt of that, but he had a certain warped logic about him. He was a being you could, to a degree, predict. His motives were known only to him, but his actions were always to promote the spread of chaos. He did not kill pointlessly, he preferred live victims. Nightmare had wanted power; over ponies lives, over the day and night cycle, over Luna. Nightmare Moon had been the resulting combination of Luna and Nightmare. In her own, twisted way, she had cared for her subjects in that form. The Eternal Night had been her gift to the world, she felt if ponies could not appreciate her work more exposure was needed, whether they wanted it or not. What would a being with the pure malice of and power of Nightmare and the chaotic nature of Discord do?
Celestia feared for her world, The energy brewing in that ball of evil was vast, and potent, she was uncertain if the day would be won here. She felt her heart grow heavy with dread, not for the first time she wondered what choices she could have done to prevent this very situation. She always planned so carefully, it was a trait she had developed of necessity. In her younger years as a mere foal of one thousand years she had been so flighty, so sure that effort and force of will could best any problem. Then she had lost her best friends, and later, her sister. She looked around her. They were restored to her, for how long she did not know, but they were here now. New friends had joined their ranks, loyal and true all. She had an army here, delivered to her by fate. There was no planning for such occurrences. Perhaps will and effort was in order again.
The ground shook, lightning arched in the sky. The blood red moon eclipsed the sun, seeming to swallow it whole. A scream began, as if the cosmos itself was in agony. Something was emerging.
Lokey cried in anguish. Her cutie mark showed Tragedy in the forefront. "It begins! It is coming!"
A single, massive, leg was the first to appear. It was the leg of a bronco. The color was impossible to describe. At first glance it appeared black, but as you looked closely it was as if the color itself was sucking in all colors around it. This was not a color, this was an absence.
A second leg emerged, the leg of a dragon, the claws looked horribly cruel and sharp, ready to rend anything it grasped. It too was the same impossible lack of color.
Both legs were clad a thick plate armor, the metal was of a type unknown to anypony present. The body followed, its shape that of a lion's, its color nonexistent. More of the armor covered it. The tail emerged, wicked looking spikes and a barb adorned it.
The scale of the being emerging was horrifying. Each of its legs appeared appeared hundreds of hooves in length, the body longer still. How it was emerging from the amorphous ball of energy was anypony's guess. It was almost as if logic had taken a sudden holiday.
The arms followed. The left, a raptor's claw, talons gripping the air as if searching for prey. The right a lion's paw, claws extended. Both arms clad in the dull metal armor. Both devoid of color. It's like, how much more black could this be? The answer is none. None more black.
Finally the head emerged, while the shape was familiar; this mouth on this being held no smile, mischievous or otherwise. Its eyes were slitted. Its expression was cold. Black fire wreathed its head. It surveyed its surroundings, the assembled goddess before it, the lush world over which it hovered in precisely the way a brick did not.
It extended it's senses. It saw the staggering jewels of the night in their infinite dust and it's mind sang with loathing.
For a while it merely examined the universe in all its majesty, all its possibilities. Its various lifeforms with their hopes and dreams.
"It'll have to go." It declared in a voice that was neither male nor female, and echoed with the screams of thousands of souls gibbering in madness.
For a moment, everypony was silent. Then screams erupted from the lips of Luna and Celestia. The assembled mass of ponies looked at the sisters with concern. They were falling to earth, their bodies limp. Nopony knew what to make of this, there had been no movement from the being before them. Then they were clearly able to see both the sun and moon vanish from the sky. Or rather, were able to see, until the source of light and life shed its last rays onto them.
Six horns flared in the darkness. The six melded their powers and began to reforge that which was destroyed. They had remade the world countless times, remaking the sun and moon was not beyond them. Creating a celestial body took time however, precious time they did not have. The process begun, they then saved the royal pony sisters from their descent, if only to avoid further injury to them. Dawn caught Luna, cradling her gently. Sapphire caught Celestia, holding her as if she was the most precious object in the world. The primordial light of the forming sun brightened the scene again. The moon was beginning to reform, a swirling cloud of dust coalescing into the shape of the orb it once was. Dawn cast a teleportation spell, sending each sister to their respective celestial body, they would recover as their creations renewed themselves.
Everypony looked back to the huge creature who had apparently snuffed out the sun and moon with a thought. It began to laugh. It was a long, hollow, joyless laugh of a being who may have never expressed enjoyment. It's laughter was a mockery of all things good.
Two ponies flew into its field vision. One with mane of pink and coat of yellow, the other with a mane and coat of lush green. Their gazes locked with the eyes they flew in front of. The being froze, unable to do anything but meet their eyes.
A quiet voice emerged from the mare with the yellow coat. The voice was barely more than a whisper, yet seemed to drill itself into your head. "Excuse me, I can't help but notice you snuffed out the sun and moon just now."
A gentle voice emerged from the pony with the lush green coat. It was a voice that spoke of caring, and kindness. It also had an undercurrent of barely suppressed rage to it. "You see, we happen to like those particular objects, and the ponies who keep them in the sky. Would you care to explain yourself?"
The voice spoke, it bore no malice, the tone of voice would have been equally well suited to telling somepony the weather schedule for that week. "I am the one known as Omega, born of a need to exist in a place that will not tolerate my existence. I am the end of all. I shall erase everything until only I remain. Then I will be free to roam unhindered. If the cosmos will not tolerate me it shall be removed."
Fluttershy nodded. "That's nice. Girls, let's blast him in the face now."
Rainbow's jaw dropped. "Wha-"
"I said blast him in the face! Nopony hurts my friends!"
Rarity sighed. "That's just 'New Fluttershy' peeking through a bit, I'm afraid. Still, she has a point. No point in putting it off."
The other five bearers lined up, and the elements activated. Light the color of the element they bore shone out from each and merged. The magical forces swirled and danced about the six bearers, and arched down towards the large figure. The magical blast hit Omega square on, showering it with energy. Then it was swallowed up in the blackness.
Twilight was floored, as much as a pony flying several thousand feet in the air could be said to be floored. "Huh? But I-- WHAT?! It didn't work?! It always works!"
Omega loomed before them, silently. Parts of the landscape began to disappear. Stars were blinking out of existence from the sky.
Twilight's eye twitched. "Okay, here's the plan. We build an exact copy of Equestia someplace not being unmade by the invulnerable universe destroying giant. Sound good?" Her eye twitched again.
Dawn looked at Twilight in annoyance. She smacked her across the face with a hoof. "I thought you were made of sterner stuff. You are the element of magic, Twilight, act like it! Don't make me regret the decision to trust you. Look at that monster, tell me what you see."
A mountain to their left ceased to exist. Several stars snuffed out. The moon and sun were nearly fully reformed now.
Twilight's eye was still twitching a bit, but she took a deep breath and calmed herself. She looked at the colossus floating motionless before them. The light struck it... And was devoured. It was not the creature absorbing the light however...
She began casting, summoning a lightning strike from the clouds. It struck the armor, and was absorbed. She watched the process with a Sight spell cast.
Dawn nodded. "Very good, you've noticed it, there is an enchantment on the armor covering that monstrosity. It absorbs magical energy."
"Then how can we attack it?"
"Um... Girls, I hate to complain but Shimmer and I can't keep this up for much longer and-" Fluttershy was cut off suddenly as her concentration was broken by a large black hand sideswiping her from the air. Shimmer immediately broke eye contact and plunged through the air after her.
Omega laughed. "Fools, did you think you could keep me immobile forever? I'll unmake you next!"
A loud blast sounded. Pinkie had fired a weapon from the distance, a baked bad flew through the air and exploded on impact. "The Cupcake Cannon MK2! Prepare to be assaulted with the worst baked items to ever have graced an oven!" She fired again.
From the opposite side Lokey, comedy mask in full relief, had somehow cloned herself into a pony with an a poofy mane with a bald spot, a bald pony, and a pony with a head of black hair which looked like it had been cut around a bowl. The three clones were chucking pies from a table floating next to them for no apparent reason. "Hey knucklehead, catch this!" The pies arched in the air and burst into flames on impact.
Pinkie laughed. "Exploding lemon meringue. Good one!"
Rainbow had been watching the exchange of Dawn and Twilight, she hadn't had much to say while the eggheads talked magic, but she thought she could offer an opinion now. "How about physical attacks?"
Dawn nodded. "Applejack, Blueberry, you two are the strongest physically. Do your worst."
Applejack and Blueberry swooped up into the air. "On the left Blue!" Making use of the gravity boost they both accelerated just shy of Rainboom speed and flipped at the last possible moment to land two precision kicks in the chest plate. The armor vibrated and visibly showed cracks.
Twilight had been watching closely for magical field variations. "Its hardened against physical attacks. Maybe a precision magical and physical strike..."
Pinkie and Lokey were now spraying Omega's eyes with seltzer water. Applejack and Blueberry attacked the legs.
"Ideaaa!" Everypony looked at Rarity. "Darlings, it's simplicity itself, we need to punch a hole in something that by all rights we should not be able to. I do this at my shop every day! You've seen my designs, I used gemstones on everything, but in order to sew a gem to an outfit you have to punch a hole in the stone to properly attach it. Just before that dreadful incident with the diamond dogs, I made an outfit entirely studded with diamonds. It initially proved difficult, because on every other occasion I had been using a diamond tipped drill to bore a small hole. A diamond can cut another diamond, but the process becomes harder when you lose bits with every attempt."
Pinkie and Lokey had broken into a barbershop quartet, with Lokey singing three of the parts. Pinkie was... Also to the side playing piano.
Applejack and Blueberry assaulted Omega from all sides to run interference, while Pinkie and Lokey... Did whatever they were doing.
Twilight nodded. "You asked me to research a spell to enhance the hardness of diamonds, in return you taught me the spell to find gemstones."
Rarity flashed a grin. "Precisely dear, I say if we can't blunt force our way through, we can drill! I will clad myself in the diamond skin I had during my... Altercation with Sapphire here. Sapphire can do the same, and we can become a living drill bit!"
Rainbow scratched her head. "Okay, but how are you gonna drill? You need something to spin you around..."
Rarity smiled warmly. "I happen to know of a couple of ponies who can make tornadoes particularly well. So, is it a plan then?"
Tornado and Dash grinned.
It took them some time to gather the gems necessary, in that time Pinkie and Lokey reenacted the pageant of Hearths Warming eve in midair as their clones formed an audience. Still more clones were off to the side pelting the monster with baked goods. Omega swept his eyes and hands about swatting at the clones.
Applejack and Blueberry were taking a breather. Fluttershy and Shimmer returned, the former fully healed after the ministrations of the latter.
The sun shone again in its full glory, and the moon was again adorned with the face of the Mare.
Rarity and Sapphire returned, clad head to hoof in a cloud of shifting sparkling gems. Rarity squee'd. She absolutely loved the way she shone in the light. She turned to Sapphire. "Just like we practiced dear!" Sapphire nodded. She and Sapphire flew at Omega, clasping hooves and using their wings to begin the rotation. Behind them Rainbow and Tornado began crafting a storm more powerful than either had ever crafted alone. Twilight and Dawn fed their energy into the wind tunnel keeping it stable. The storm caught Rarity and Sapphire in its wake and propelled them, spinning them at speeds which made the two blur together into one form.
Omega looked away from the Pinkies and Lokeys assaulting him, and down at the tornado about to strike him in the chest. "What are you-" He felt something cutting into the plate, sheering the metal. "No, this is not possible, I am the end. I am invincible. You cannot do this!"
Rainbow struck a pose, catching a pair of sunglasses Pinkie had tossed her for no apparent reason. "Who the hay do you think we are?"
Rarity and Sapphire burst through the shell of armor. However, instead of finding a body underneath, they found a curious sight. At first Rarity was convinced she was seeing things. However after her eyes stopped spinning she still saw it, albeit without the constant nausea-inducing eye spinning. It was a rather nicely decorated little room, the walls were a pleasing shade of purple, a table was placed in the center, surrounded by four chairs. At the table, there was a silver tea service with a plate of scones. This by itself seemed perfectly normal, compared to the apparent guests to this tea party. Nightmare and Discord, sitting at a table, were eating the scones and drinking tea.
Discord looked annoyed. He finished his scone. "Yes well, no point in bemoaning our fate now, we'll either be destroyed or we won't." He drank the teacup, and tossed the tea to the side, where it became a potted plant.
Nightmare slammed a hoof on the table. She managed to spill her cup in the process. "I don't understand, when I joined with Luna I still had control. It wasn't full control, but I wasn't a prisoner in my own body!"
Discord rolled his eyes. He dabbed up the tea with a napkin and poured her a fresh cup. "Really, you are surprised that mixing your magic with chaos magic produced something neither of us expected? There was a reason this was Plan B you know. I knew we would produce a powerful being when we merged, I had no idea what would result." He held out the plate. "More scones?"
Rarity and Sapphire stood up, Rarity cleared her throat. Both Nightmare and Discord looked at her. "Excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but would one of you care to explain what in the buck is going on? Oh, and do pour two more cups would you? I suspect this explanation may take a moment." Rarity pulled a chair out for Sapphire to sit, and nodded courteously as Discord pulled out a chair for her to sit as well.
On two separate celestial bodies, two ponies woke from their healing slumbers. A mane of solar flare blazed out from the elder sister. The younger sister's mane now shown with the light of a several supernovas happening at once. Celestia felt her sister's recovery. She hesitated, but decided to use a communication method she and Luna had barred to each other since long before the incident. They preferred to use scrolls under normal circumstances, but she felt Lulu would forgive her this time. She concentrated and sent her thoughts to her sister.
Luna heard her sister's voice in her head. "Lulu, are you alright?"
Luna nodded, then realized this was pointless. "I'm fine now Celly." She looked up the at sky and winced, some of her favorite constellations were bereft of key points of light. "The night sky is going to take a lot of time this evening, I may have to repaint the whole thing."
Celestia heard her, satisfied. She thought back. "Shall we go kick some flank?"
Luna smiled. "Indeed, see you on the surface sister."
Both of them teleported to go meet their friends.
Discord sat down. He sipped his tea casually. "Our son is being a very naughty boy."
Nightmare spat her tea out. "Don't call it that!"
Discord chuckled. "Oh, come now Nightmare, tell me you don't feel the least parental pride. We merged powers and out came this immensely powerful universe destroying menace. I may not agree with his methods or goals, but you have to admire his dedication. He set out to end the universe, and here he is destroying it one piece at a time."
Nightmare growled. "He's destroying the moon and stars!"
Discord smiled fondly. "Yes, he has the keys to the universe, and is wrecking everypony's toys. Still, he is a naughty child."
Rarity sipped from her cup. "Really, I don't mean to interrupt this truly horrifying display of pride, but I must insist on an explanation here. Why are you two apparently imprisoned inside the chest of the monster we just now drilled into?"
"Oh, is this that scene then? The villain explains how his plan went horribly wrong? How he created his own prison? My, doesn't that sound perfectly boring. How about we do something interesting instead, we go outside that door you kindly made, and send my son to his room. You can speculate on my motivations the whole time while I am doing it." Discord flashed a winning smile, his one fang somehow gathering the light in the room to flash impressively.
Sapphire glared at him. "As if we could trust you!"
Discord sipped his tea again. "You'd be a fool to trust me, but just because you can't trust me doesn't mean you don't need me. Come now, you tried the Elements and failed didn't you? Then you tried drilling through his armor to see if you could get past the barrier enchantments by force, correct?"
Rarity nodded. "Yes, that's it exactly. We'd be trying the elements on the hole left behind right now if I hadn't found the two of you here."
Discord nodded. "You're thinking about this all wrong. Let me venture a guess, Twilight Sparkle found out the armor absorbed magic?"
Rarity nodded hesitantly.
Discord smiled encouragingly. "So you came to the perfectly logical conclusion, remove the armor, and win the day? Yes, that would make sense wouldn't it? That is, it would, if you weren't dealing with a being of pure chaotic energy empowered by another of hate fueled magical potential. No my little ponies, logic will not help you here."
Rarity could not believe what she was hearing. "I refuse to believe this ruffian is invincible!"
Discord shook his finger. "I never said that. I said logic will not help you here. Logic has in fact fled the scene, probably off playing cards as we speak. What you need is right here."
Rarity looked at him nervously. "Give me one reason."
Discord laughed. "I'll give you several! I am chaotic my dear, what that monster out there is attempting will reduce the universe to pure uniformity, there is no more perfect order than nothingness! Perhaps that is not the most noble of reasons, but it's what you're getting. Also, while I have certainly delighted in turning your world upside down, I find live victims far more amusing than dead ones. Finally, while it may not seem important to you, it would not be boring!"
Rarity looked him in the eye, studying every twitch. "I believe you, it makes no sense, but I believe you. I am not certain if that makes me more insane than you at the moment."
Discord just smiled. "What fun is there in making sense? Nightmare, would you care to join us?"
Nightmare looked pensive. "Join the very ponies I was trying to kill, against a being trying to unmake everything with my power and yours combined? I supposed it's better than being banished to the moon again. Although I expect that's coming anyway."
Everypony stared at the dark hole in Omega's chest. This... Was not what they had expected to happen.
What followed was easily the second most improbable thing to happen that day. From the hole popped four ponies. Well, two ponies, a draconequus, and a pony shaped spirit of malice. Discord flew up into the face of Omega, hands on his hips.
"Son, I am disappointed."
Omega looked down his nose. "You."
"Yes."
"You are irrelevant. I have your power."
"Do you?" Discord snapped his fingers, and an anvil fell from nowhere and smashed into Omega's head. Upon impact it turned into one million lightly fried eggs.
Omega glared, not hurt so much as surprised. "How? That doesn't-"
"-Make sense? Really now, does nopony get the concept of chaos?"
"Fine, if I cannot take your power, I will have hers." He pointed at Nightmare, and her dark flames began to flow towards him.
Nightmare screamed as her power was taken from her by force. She looked at Discord in pain. "I trusted you! Why was I so foalish?"
Discord leaned in, "Trust me again for one moment. Don't fight him, give him everything. Give him your pain, your anger, and all of your sorrow. Make him choke on it."
Nightmare stared for a moment, then her dark fire flared, and the stream of power headed towards the colossus became a torrent. His dark armor cracked under the strain of the energy pouring in.
At that moment third most improbable event occurred. Celestia and Luna teleported to the scene at that precise moment. To say they were shocked at the scene would have been an understatement. So instead, we will go with flabbergasted.
Discord snapped his fingers, and the armor plating turned to pudding.
Celestia opened her mouth. "What-"
Discord shook his head. "No time, you have exactly one shot at this, everypony gather and put every bit of energy you can into the elements.
Twilight looked at Dawn, who nodded, they began gathering energy. All of the bearers and elemental alicorns gathered into a group and poured their energy into their respective element of harmony. Celestia and Luna joined them, adding their own power to the blast. The rainbow that came from the combined powers held every color imaginable, and several beyond imagination. It struck the giant, and Omega exploded into pure energy.
All around them, the missing parts of the world and the sky were restored. The sky was awash in color. The moon hung in the sky, visible despite the sun shining high in the sky.
In the aftermath, an alicorn flew unsteadily where the figure of Nightmare had been. She had a dark mane full of sparks and a black coat. The dark fire that had covered her was gone. She looked confused. Discord patted her mane. "Well done."
Discord looked at Rainbow Dash. He nodded at the sunglasses on her head. "Mind if I borrow those?"
Rainbow looked at him as if he were mad, then remembered whom she was looking at. She shrugged, reached up with a hoof, and tossed them at Discord.
Discord placed them on his head. He posed casually. "Make it quick will you? I would at least like a better pose this time. It gets so tiresome spending eternity looking as if you just had a bucket of water splashed in your face."
Celestia stared long and hard at the one entity she ever truly hated. She still was not certain what had happened. However, she had an obligation to her people to deal with threats to their lives and sanity. Nightmare and Discord were both. Yet she was hesitant. She had just witnessed the single most improbable event she ever expected to see. Nightmare and Discord had just worked together, to destroy a threat greater than either of them had ever represented.
"Princess."
Celestia looked at Twilight Sparkle.
"We shouldn't do it. Neither of them represent a threat we cannot overcome at this moment. I need to tell you about something before we make any decisions."
Celestia still had little idea how to process these series of events, but she trusted Twilight without question.
"Discord, Nightmare, you are hereby placed under arrest by the authority of the crown. You will be held unharmed until such time as a trial can be convened to decide your fate. Resistance will be met with immediate punishment. Do you both understand?"
Discord lowered the sunglasses. He nodded slowly and carefully.
Nightmare was still confused, she wanted to feel something, but she just felt empty. She realized she had no idea what it felt like to not be full of rage constantly. She nodded as well.
Celestia looked back at the mountain where her home should have been, the facade of her castle had apparently been eliminated in the explosion of magical energy just now. "Oh yes, would somepony mind getting my capital out of that snow globe?"
Discord snapped his fingers.
Celestia was trying to understand, really she was. She had been shown charts and graphs all afternoon. Frankly she was getting ready to put her hoof down and just demand a simple explanation.
Howe and Twilight were deep into the equation on the chalkboard, pointing to various chalk drawings (done by Pinkie Pie apparently) She finally decided enough was enough.
"In simple Equestrian, why can't we just blast him into stone again?"
Howe looked at her in consternation. "Because it won't work long term, haven't you been listening?"
Celestia gave him a warning look. "Howey, I understand the theories you've been quoting to me, I invented the magics behind them, along with my sister, if you recall."
Howe sighed. "Fine, the point is the elements promote harmony, in all things. An imbalance is not harmonious. The world needs chaos in some form. Complete order leads to stagnation. Complete chaos would be ruinous as well."
Celestia nodded. "So you're telling me I have no choice but to allow one of my most dangerous enemies free reign?"
Twilight jumped in. "Not at all, we have two volunteers to keep him from getting out of hoof. Pinkie Pie and Lokey have offered to maintain a watch over him."
Celestia looked troubled. "What about Nightmare? How is she adjusting?"
Luna answered. "She is doing better Tia, she still seems distant, but is coming to accept what she is now. She remembers her actions, but does not understand why she performed them. We have been spending time with her, We mayest be the only pony who can truly understand what it is to be Nightmare. She is a piece of us after all. We no longer consider her a threat. Without the fury all she seems to be left with is affection for us. Frankly she has become a bit... Clingy. She has taken to calling us "sister". We are not certain how we feel about that, but the idea is not entirely without appeal."
Celestia was not exactly pleased with that development. "Don't get attached Lu, I still haven't decided what to do with her. She is still responsible for attempting to kill me, and for trying to bring eternal night, twice ."
Luna looked at Celestia levelly. "Sister, you would have to hold us responsible as well. Our rage created the being we knew as Nightmare Moon. The elements rid us of the negative emotions, which in turn became a separate being we now have under arrest. If anything we owe her an apology, she did not choose to exist in the form she became. She has said she understands she must be punished, she simply asks that it not involve banishment to the moon."
The Alicorn formerly known as Nightmare stared at Luna, trying to convey what she had gone through in the two years since they had shared one body.
"At first, I was just formless energy, I felt such rage. I had been cheated by foals, I wanted... Revenge. I had no means however, I was pure unformed energy. Over time, I regained a form of sorts, nothing like the body we shared, but it was a form. That's when I first heard him."
"He felt my presence, he said he understood my feelings of powerlessness, of impotence. He offered to help me, if I would help him in turn."
The voice of Discord chuckled in her mind. "I have spent more time than you know unable to affect the world. I have a plan, I have 'friends' who can help me implement it. What I lack is a backup plan. You, my dear, are it. If all goes well you will be rejoined with Luna, I will have my vengeance on Celestia, and we will both have free reign in the world again. However Celestia is tricky, she has bested my best laid plans twice now, which is twice more than anyone in existence. Plan B is attempting to merge your power with mine, potentially we would become a being far more powerful than even the elements of harmony could overcome."
"I asked him why we didn't just merge the moment he had regained his freedom."
He laughed outright. "It's a thought, but I have no idea what would happen. Mixing magics is a dangerous business, magic is as magic does, and chaos is the most unusual type in existence."
"The rest you know. I poured every negative emotion into that creature. I am what's left. A broken mare with no purpose in life. I don't even wish revenge. I leave my fate in your hooves, Luna. Just... Consider long and hard before you banish me. I don't know what I wish to do with this life I have, but I would like to provide some form of penance. Serve in some way for the wrong I did you and Celestia."
Luna laid a hoof to her lips. "Shhhh, none of that now. Alicorn physiology is... unusual. We do not hold thee accountable for the events that led to our sister banishing us. We feel thou shouldst know something. We remember thy voice as something... More than just the Nightmare."
Nightmare looked startled, but intrigued. "What do you mean?"
Luna smiled. It was a sad, wistful smile. "When we first lost our friends during after the war with Discord, we felt most distraught. Our friends had always been a comfort, but with them gone our sister was our only companion through the centuries. Over time we became more and more lonely. The nighttime was our time, and our people were always asleep. We began to hear a voice, thy voice. We rejoiced, for thou were a friend to us, thou kept us company. We named thee Stella, for thee were a companion to Luna."
Nightmare's voice took on a tone of wonder. "Stella..."
Luna nodded. "However, in time even thy voice could not comfort us. We began feeling anger that our friends were gone, that the populace did not seem to even remember them. Most of all, we were angry with Celestia. We recognized the unfairness of it, and bottled those emotions up. It was then thy voice changed. It became more hate-filled, and bitter. Eventually thy voice resonated throughout our mind, and we felt the same emotions we had tried to suppress. Thou called thyself Nightmare, and promised we would make the world love us."
Nightmare looked at her, tears in her eyes. "I am so sorry Luna..."
Luna nodded. "We understand, and wish to apologize to thee as well, and to say we thank thee for being our friend."
Nightmare looked apprehensive, but finally asked a question. "Will you call me Stella again, sister?"
Luna hugged her.
Celestia stared at Luna. That had been a bombshell. "Nightmare Moon... Was your imaginary friend?"
Luna blushed. "We were not exactly keen to tell thee that. Especially after thy reaction to our "alone time" activities."
Celestia was simply floored. "I was nearly killed, and the world was nearly placed in eternal darkness... By my sister's active imagination."
Howe spoke up. "It's not unprecedented, Multiple Poniality Syndrome, I believe it's called. Psychology is not my specialty, but our study did yield results indicating you were able to compartmentalize your minds fairly simply. She was lonely, and made a friend in her own mind. She felt angry, and shoved all of that anger into the other personality. When she was purified the personality was left with all of the rage."
Celestia pressed him. "I see, and how exactly did she gain a physical form?"
Howe shrugged. "Chaos magic is capable of nearly anything."
Celestia sighed. "Fine, I will not banish her. I've taken enough friends from Luna, I won't be responsible for one more."
Luna hugged her. "Thank thee Tia!"
Celestia huffed. "Now, to deal with Discord."
The courtroom was closed to all but the sixteen beings involved. At the Prosecutor's table sat Luna, in a prim business suit designed for her by Rarity. The Judge's stand was manned by Celestia, looking regal as ever in her royal regalia. In the jury seats sat twelve mares, the current bearers of harmony, and the original six mares who had lent their very lives to the creation of the aforementioned. At the Defense table sat Nightmare and Discord.
Celesitia raised the gavel with her magic and rapped it briskly on the stand. "Before we begin, would the defense like representation?"
Discord smiled. "I wish to represent myself, your honor." He snapped his fingers and was clad in a clown suit, complete with rainbow wig.
Nightmare stood. "I will represent myself as well, your honor." She sat down.
Celestia nodded. "Very well. Regarding the first defendent: 'Nightmare', A.K.A. 'Nightmare Moon', A.K.A. 'Stella'. Prosecutor name the charges."
Luna stood. "The defendant is charged with two counts of attempted murder, one count of false imprisonment, two counts attempted coup of the government, and two counts of attempted worldwide genocide by eternal nightfall."
Celestia turned to Nightmare. "How do you plead?"
Nightmare gulped. "Guilty your honor."
Celestia nodded again. "Do you wish to speak in your own defense?"
Nightmare shook her head.
"Very well. Sentence is one thousand years banishment to the moon, and one thousand years community service. The banishment will be held to time served so long as your probation officer, Luna, holds you are fulfilling your service."
Luna's mouth dropped open. She closed it, and quickly glanced at her sister. She telepathically contacted her. "Thank you Tia!"
Celestia nodded. "Now, the second defendant, Discord, Allias Chaos."
Luna stood again. This list was quite a long one. "Sixteen charges total destruction of the world. Sixty thousand counts murder by rabid squirrels. Twenty four thousand counts arson by flaming exploding lemons-"
Discord stood. "Your honor, if it pleases the court, I believe I will just plead guilty, much as I enjoy having my greatest hits read off I believe the jury gets the point."
Celestia rapped the gavel. "I will have order. Regarding your sentence, I have decided to take the advice of counsel and leave that to the jury. Were it up to me, pigeons would even now be nesting in your antlers, assuming I did not make you into a coat rack. Ladies, if you will go deliberate?"
The jury box emptied in a flash. Discord approached the bench. "So tell me your honor, do you do any other dances than waltzes?"
Celestia gave him a warning glance and he went back to the defense table.
The jury returned.
Celestia turned to them. "Have you reached a verdict?"
Pinkie Pie stood. "We have your honor!"
Celestia nodded for her to proceed. "Regarding the defendant, we recommend a lifetime sentence of probation. We furthermore request he swear to the following, he will not attempt to murder anypony, or cause grievous injury to, or mentally impair anypony."
Discord smiled mockingly. "Would you like me to swear on the name of Celestia or some such nonsense?"
Pinkie shook her head vigorously. "Not like that silly. Like this." She made the motions and said: "Cross your heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye."
Discord just grinned incredulously, but did as he was told. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
Pinkie smiled widely. "Good!" Then the courtroom turned dark. Her face contorted suddenly, and her voice deepened and took on a much more ominous tone. Her face glowed red like the fires of Tartarus. "BECAUSE I WILL KNOW IF YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISE. NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PIE PROMISE! NOPONY!" With that the room returned to normal. "Now c'mon everypony! I have a party set up in the ballroom!"
Discord found himself quite happy he could snap his fingers and change his own pants.
She called it her "Sending Twilight off to save the world" party, it was quite the event. Lokey had helped her plan the party games, they involved a lot of pie throwing and spraying seltzer water at targets. Somepony must have spiked the punch, because at one point in the evening Rarity and Sapphire marched directly to Applejack and Celestia and kissed them full on the lips. Everypony had laughed it off, it was just that kind of party.
It had gone on well into the night, and much fun was had by all. Now it was time. Twilight prepared the ritual, and gathered power for the spell. Her friends, new and old, watched her cast. One of the alicorns in particular looked pleased, but also slightly annoyed. She at long last understood what had happened. She leaned close to Celestia. "This explains so much, so that unicorn you were training, the one with the penchant for beards, bells, and large ungainly hats, came up with a workable time travel spell..."
Celestia nodded. "Starswirl was a genius. He designed the spell to have utility, but to prevent abuse. You cannot return to the exact same point in time more than once, but you can return to one moment in time and affect events in a very limited sense."
The black coated alicorn hung her head, she had asked Twilight many questions after their confrontation, but Twilight had only said to wait, that answers would come. She shook her head. "Fascinating... The universe wanted this I suppose, I was so sure at the time I had the answers..."
Celestia laid a hoof on her friend in comfort. "We've all made mistakes. Come, let's sit and talk awhile. Twilight will be back soon. Pinkie has another party planned for the return. That mare is incorrigible."
The ebon mare smiled. "Yes, but infectious."
Celestia led Dawn off to a table, only to be stopped for a moment by Sapphire. Sapphire looked about ready to say something when Celestia laid a hoof to her lips. She whispered. "I always knew. We can talk about it later."
Sapphire stood there, dumbfounded, with a goofy grin.
After Twilight had returned two mares were having more punch. Applejack looked at Rarity, off at another table having cake. "Blue, I don't get it, why do you reckon she kissed me?"
Blueberry chuckled. "If she was a stallion why would you think she might a done it?"
Applejack snorted. "You mean she's sweet on me?"
Blueberry nodded. "You could go find out I guess."
Applejack looked at Blueberry. "How do you figure?"
Blueberry shrugged. "Go kiss her back."
Applejack considered a moment. "Huh, yeah, I guess that would do it. Watch my drink will ya cousin?"
Some two decades prior, a middle-aged stallion sat on a park bench, looking morose.
A pony sat down next to him. "Hullo there, looking a bit down, care for some company?"
Howe Cann turned to the stranger. "Do I know you?"
The brown coated stallion shook his head. "Nope, not at all, just visiting for a time."
Howe looked curious. "Are you lecturing here or something? This is a campus for unicorns you see, earth ponies don't normally show up here."
The stallion with the brown mane shook his head. "Oh no, just visiting, you looked a bit down in the dumps, I happen to have all the time in the world at my disposal and thought you could use an ear to bend."
Howe smiled despite his depression. "I can't really tell you what's got me down. I am just used to finding the answers. This was an important project, and I failed."
The stallion with time on his hooves nodded. "So you learned nothing then?"
Howe considered. "Well, we did learn a few things we didn't know."
The stallion with the ear to bend motioned encouragingly. "So why not make use of what you did learn? You could publish a book perhaps?"
Howe scoffed. "For who exactly? The information really would only interest someone afflicted with the same condition we were studying!"
The stallion nodded. "But what if, now stay with me, what if it happened again, maybe somepony would like to have that book at hand to tell them what was going on?"
Howe looked at the stallion incredulously. "You think I should publish a book, because somepony some day might need to know what we found out? That's ridiculous!"
The stallion nodded. "You know, I was visiting with a colleague of yours, Thissdens I think was the chap's name. He said you would never have the stones to do anything with it. Even bet me two bits you'd say no."
Howe looked murderous. "That fool said that? Excuse me, I have a book to publish. Thank you for your time mister-"
The stallion corrected him. "Doctor actually."
Howe looked apologetic. "Oh, sorry Doctor... Wait, Doctor Who?"
The pony with the hourglass on his flank walked off to a blue box to the side of the road. "Whooves. Good day Professor. Look forward to seeing the book!"
"Discord! What are you up to this time?!" Twilight looked wildly around the room for the source of the voice.
"Oh, do calm yourself, Twilight Sparkle, we get in one little argument and suddenly somepony can't stop holding a grudge!" The voice chuckled.
"You turned the world upside down for your own amusement and turned all my friends against me! I hardly would call that a little argument!" Twilight all but shouted.
"You made me covet a large rock! It was so tacky!" Rarity yelled, her face etched in disgust.
"You turned me into a danged liar!
"You made me all grey and grumpy! It was hilarious! Still not very nice, when you play games with somepony you should explain the rules better!" Pinkie giggled a bit, but then put on her serious business face.
"You made me into a big meanie jerkface to all my friends! New Fluttershy should kick your flan-" Rarity shoved a hoof in her mouth. "No more of that nonsense dear." She hissed. "Well, perhaps later if it comes to it." She conceded.
"You made me betray all my friends to go nap on a cloud, not cool!"
"Please, children, we played a game, we all played well. I lost, you won. It wasn't all bad was it?"
"I... lost everypony that day..." Twilight looked about ready to cry. Pinkie Pie pulled everyone into a group hug at this.
"Oh, but you got them all back didn't you? I'm willing to bet each and every one of you became closer for having been torn apart. Where was the friendship report for that day? You did a lot of reading, but no writing! Didn't you learn anything?"
Applejack was startled by movement in the corners, some kind of smoke? It was slowly gathering.
Dash broke from the hug and rose her wings in anger. "She learned we can kick your tail when we stand together!"
Discord's disembodied voice chuckled again. "Rainbow Dash, how very loyal of you to speak up for your friend when she is in distress. However the question was directed at Twilight. I wanted to know what she had learned, but perhaps she's too upset with me to give a report right now. Or perhaps she just feels uncomfortable giving reports to anyone but Princess Celestia! Perhaps instead she'd like to hear what I learned."
There, in another corner! Was it fog? No, it reminded her of something...
Discord descended from the ceiling where previously there had been no visible entrance. Fluttershy looked up in bemusement at what appeared to be a giant kitten head peeking from the hole before it vanished completely. He was being rained on by a pink cotton candy cloud. He had on a garish green shower cap. In one hand he was scrubbing himself with a rubber duck and in the other he held a shower brush that squeaked whenever he gripped it tightly.
Rarity laughed a bit. "That doesn't even make any sense."
He tossed the shower brush to the side, where it exploded into a flock of doves, which in turn exploded into confetti. He reached up under his cap and pulled out a snow globe which he balanced precariously on one claw. In the snow globe was a very familiar scene, one the girls had seen many times on their travels, Canterlot Castle.
He gazed into the snow globe, ignoring the flummoxed alicorns before him for the moment. "Dear Princess Celestia, I recently learned from your dear protege just how powerful friendship can be. At first I scoffed at its power, I felt there was no force on Equestria greater than Chaos. Then I witnessed firsthand just how powerful six friends can be in the face of disaster. I was truly impressed. So much so I resolved then and there that I would make some friends of my own, and so, I did." He snapped his fingers.
Six grey Alicorns appeared in a flash of light behind him, their eyes flashing in anger.
Inside the snow globe, movement showed, the Wonderbolts were flying, an airship took off... "No" Twilight thought. "No that's not true. That's impossible... Of course it's possible he is the god of chaos! Get your head in the game, Sparkle!"
Applejack could make out lights in the smoke now, they almost looked like... stars?
Twilight spoke in a low voice "Canterlot..."
Pinkie grinned. "It's only a model !"
Twilight looked annoyed. "No Pinkie, this is the model! Discord has Canterlot in that snow globe!"
"Oh, did somepony finally get a clue? Would anypony care to buy a vowel? Maybe I should just solve the puzzle for you? Yes, you've guessed it, they're all inside here, none of them even know what is going on quite yet. There was quite the panic just now with a giant eyeball peering in from the sky, I think they sent the Wonderbolts to ineffectively try to save the day again, poor dears."
Dash reared up again. "Nopony insults the Wonderbolts, pal!"
Twilight had calmed down by now, and stood up defiantly. "What's the game this time?"
"Calm yourself, Twilight! I have been fair in the past, have I not? I not only gave you your wings and horns back I gave you added bonuses! It's quite simple really, the six of you against the six of them, one on one. In six days if there is no clear majority a final free-for-all will occur."
Pinkie was counting on her hooves, which seemed to be multiplying. "One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... that's not fair that's seven versus six!"
Applejack was fairly certain she remembered now... it looked almost like... oh hay, this was not good, no way she could be back...
Discord grinned, although even he had looked a bit shaken by the seven hooves on one pony. "Well should it come down to that, I will release Luna and Celestia to fight at your side, and at mine.... Well let's say I have an Ace up my sleeve."
The mist that had been gathering at their feet coalesced, and formed into a very familiar shape. "Not so much an Ace as a Queen, but then how is a Joker expected to know the value of other cards?"
Twilight looked on in fright. "How? Luna is free, there is no way-"
Discord smiled slowly, in a grin that seemed to exceed the confines of his face. "Yes, Luna is still free, that's her-" gesturing to Nightmare. "-stake in this. You see we all have our goals, I want to be free to wreak chaos as I choose. Nightmare here wishes to rejoin Luna, or Celestia, or any of you for that matter, she is not picky. In her current form she is powerful, but she is a needs a host to attain full strength. My new friends here simply desire justice for their imprisonment and subsequent use as tools for the ends of Celestia. You most likely desire to see me turned to stone again, and to have your princesses returned to you unharmed. So then, the terms are set, wagers are made, shall we play a game ?"
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Intermission: Help Anypony, the author flipped.
Twilight Sparkle approached Dawn, the Element of Magic.
Dawn had laid out a picnic spread, it looked quite inviting. "So it is down to you, and it is down to me."
Twilight nodded and stepped forward.
A fireball blasted the ground at her feet. "If you wish to die, by all means continue to approach."
Twilight stopped. "Let me explain."
Dawn snorted. "There is nothing to explain, You're trying to save those I am rightly trying to punish."
Twilight stepped forward again. "Perhaps an arrangement can be made, a fair trial-"
Dawn blasted the ground again. "There can be no arrangement, and you are risking your demise for even trying."
Twilight pondered. "Then we are at an impasse-"
STOP!
...Yes?
Rarity looked over the author's shoulder. "Really? The Sicilian vs the Man in Black? Darling, you can do better. Twilight deserves better of you."
Hey! The Princess Bride is a classic, and this is a classic confrontation scene!
Rarity gave him a long suffering look. "Yes, and William Goldman is a wonderful writer, but you don't need this kind of crutch do you? Come now, what's bothering you dear?
Hey now, I am fine, just a little case of writer's block is all-
Rarity nodded. "I see, so you thought you could get past it by adapting somepony else's work? Take your hands off the keyboard dear, let's see what we can do."
Hey! What are you up to?
Rarity smiled, her horn glowed, and the keys began to merrily type.
Twilight Sparkle, the beautiful and studious mare, pursued her nemesis, Dawn the Element of Magic. Twilight's long flowing mane swirled in the breeze. She surveyed the environs. Mountains to the left, trees below, the sun was setting in the west setting the sky ablaze in colors. There could be no more wonderful place to face your enemy.
The Pony ahead of her, fleeing like a coward, had a coat of a drab gray color. She wondered idly if she might be able to improve this pony's looks with a nice gown, perhaps something in black to offset that dreadful gray color. While she wondered this the pony ahead of her turned and attacked. It was a beautiful volley of fireballs, each with a wonderful trail of fire trailing it, making them look like shooting stars in the nights sky. She pondered her last night spent studying the stars in her library, gazing upon the majesty of the universe via her telescope. The fireballs came ever closer, and Twilight dodged gracefully to the side, looking for all the world like a ballerina-
Pinkie bounded up. "Hey, whatcha doing?"
Rarity stopped typing with a start. "Pinkie you interrupted my flow! I was about to have Twilight perform Swan Lake-"
Pinkie looked at the keyboard with interest. "OOOO you're writing? Can I help can I can I!?"
Rarity huffed. "Very well, you can't well do worse than the author."
Pinkie sat down and stared at the keyboard. It began to type to the tune of "Cupcakes."
Twilight dodged the fireballs. Fwoosh!
Then she cast some back, BLAM!
Dawn started tossing clouds at Twilight like pillows, POOF POOF POOF!
Then Twilight picked up a tree with her magic and threw it at Dawn, CRASH!
Dawn cried out when the tree hit her. WAAAA!
Then Pinkie Pie showed up, TADA!
Pinkie sang a song. LALALA!
Everypony cheered! YAY!
"Um... Excuse me everypony, what are you doing?" Fluttershy looked on curiously at the pink pony pantomiming prancing and piping a pony piece of her own composition.
Pinkie Pie jumped up. "Hi Fluttershy! The author has writer's block AGAIN so Rarity wanted to help him and I said hey I wanna help too so I started writing and I was like BLAM and POW and LALALA and then you came up and asked what I was doing and I told you Rarity-" The end of that run on sentence was spared to the readers by a well groomed white hoof.
"Oh, I see. Well have fun Pinkie Pie-"
"Darling would you care to give it a try?"
Fluttershy back away. "Oh no I couldn't..."
Rarity pursued her. "Oh yes you can! Come, I insist, let's see what you can do."
Fluttershy continued to back away. "Please I would rather not-"
Rarity back her into a corner. "Please!"
"Oh no I-"
"PLEASE!"
"Rarity-"
"PLEASE!!!"
Fluttershy looked defeated. "ALL RIGHT FINE!" She trotted to the keyboard and sat down at the chair. The author watched in interest, this should be good...
Fluttershy rubbed her hooves together and began typing furiously.
Twilight finished the dodge with a pretty pirouette that set her long flowing mane swirling in the breeze. She gave a come hither look to the other pony. "Why are we fighting it dearest? This is clearly just sexual tension. Come, let's go experiment together in my lab, we can study the interactions of two bodies as they attract each other."
Dawn caught her up in a long kiss, her need hot in her eyes. The two ponies melted together in the embrace, hooves roaming all over the other pony, exploring-"
Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder. "Whoa, 'Shy that's some good work! Probably better save that energy for your next book though."
Fluttershy blushed. "Dash please..."
Rainbow looked startled. "Oh! Right! Sorry.... Um... What I mean is I know nothing about anypony writing romance novels under a pen name."
Fluttershy blushed even more furiously. "I need to go now. It's been fun everypony..."
Dash looked at the empty seat. "Anypony mind if I take a crack at this?"
Rarity was still a bit shocked, Pinkie smiled.
Fine...
Twilight smacked Dawn and laughed in her face. "HAHA I fooled you, now lets race!"
Twilight was of course a huge nerd but she had come in fifth place in the "Running of the Leaves" and she had been training hard with her best friend ever, RAINBOW DASH! She also had a brand new pair of wings so she was even more awesome, almost as awesome as RAINBOW DASH!
Suddenly a race track appeared from freaking nowhere, because racing is just that awesome. In the stand RAINBOW DASH cheered the nerdy pony on, next to her sat her date, DARING DO! They were all over each other when they weren't cheering on Twilight while she raced Dawn around and around the track-
"What in tarnation?!"
Dash rubbed a hoof over her mane. "Oh... Hey AJ..."
Applejack frowned in disapproval. She looked at the author, then at the ponies crowding around the keyboard. "Ain't he supposed to be writing this thing?"
Dash chuckled. "Yeah... about that..."
Rarity interrupted. "He's just feeling a little bit uninspired at the moment dear. It will pass, for now we are trying to see if we can help. With varying success..."
AJ nodded. "Oh, gotcha, well if it's to help out I'll lend a hoof. Step aside Dash, lemme try."
Twilight Sparkle gazed upon her opponent disdainfully. "You will not defeat me Dawn, for I have my friends to support me, in spirit if not in person. My talent is magic, and Friendship is the most powerful magic. I will bring you low, as I have so many others before you."
Dawn bowed her head. "I admit defeat, oh mighty one. Come, let us be friends forever more-"
Rarity stopped her. "Darling that was so eloquent, how is it you write so well when you speak with such a dreadful accent?"
Applejack puffed up with pride, but then looked annoyed. "What the hay are ya talkin' about? I ain't go an acksent!"
"Author why aren't you writing? My big scene is coming up! Everypony is expecting something great!" Twilight glared death at the author.
THAT'S IT! NO MORE HELPING, EVERYPONY OUT! THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR YOU RAINBOW DASH!
Pinkie bounced happily away. "See you soon everypony!"
GAH! THAT'S ENOUGH PINKIE! I'M TURNING THE NARRATION OFF-
A Unicorn's Guide to Becoming an Alicorn
Author's Note
This fic was written in its entirety prior to A Canterlot Wedding. (The final chapter being published three days before the wedding even aired.) It predates Cadance, and canonical Princess Twilight.
Also, this was the very first story I ever committed to a page that could be read by others. As such, the editing is spotty at best. I have left it as it was because I like having an example I can look back on to see how much my writing has changed, and remarkably, how solid it was even then. I hope you enjoy the silliness.
A Unicorn's Guide to Becoming an Alicorn
Twilight sneezed. Something was tickling her nose. Huh, it’s a purple feather. That’s weird. Sunlight was streaming through the window, and clouds were overhead. Apparently Rainbow was sleeping in again. Birds were singing. It was going to be one of those mornings again. Twilight Sparkle glared at it all through her picture window with bloodshot eyes. She rolled out of bed.
She winced a bit as one of her wings got pinched between the floor and her side. She yawned and glanced at them briefly; they looked droopy.
She stumbled over to her dresser and looked in the mirror. Her eyes looked puffy and red. Her hair was mussed. At least her horn looked presentable - that damn poison joke, she kept expecting it to be floppy again every morning. She yawned again, and glanced at her hairbrush. She picked it up with her magic and watched in bemusement as it exploded in a quiet flash. She yawned again. “Note to self: self, you need a new hairbrush.”
Abandoning her grooming attempts, she felt her stomach grumbling. She glanced about, dearly wishing the sun would kindly explode so it would stop making her head pound. She then thought better of it, and wished instead Nightmare Moon would return for a while so she could get some decent rest. She stretched. “Sorry Princess Celestia, I didn't mean it. Much.”
No help for it then, off to get some food in her belly. She made her way cautiously down the stairs, taking care not to snag her feathers on anything. They kept dragging everywhere this morning.
After what seemed like an eternity she finally made her way to the kitchen, where the pleasant smells of coffee and hay fritters wafted back to her like a dear old friend giving her nostrils a hug. She yawned again. Seeing a place setting for her already set up with coffee and a steaming stack of hay fritters, she sat down gratefully. “Good morning, Spike! I have no idea what I would do without you!”
Spike chuckled without turning, “I told you to go to bed Twi, you never listen when you're wrapped up in study. Just because you have Owlicious to help you at night is no excuse for never getting any sleep. Princess Celestia would not be happy.” Twilight nodded, not really noticing her number one assistant could not see it. They'd had this argument before, but she couldn't help herself. She began to reach for the coffee with her magic and was eying the fritters with interest.
A clatter on the floor shook her from her reverie. “Spike, are you okay?” She glanced down and saw the pan with a fresh set of fritters on the ground. She looked up and saw a look of shock on Spike's face. “Spike?”
Spike spoke slowly, “Your wings...”
Twilight looked annoyed. “Yes, they've been droopy all morning. I couldn't do anything about it, not catching them on the furniture was a pain-” The remaining logic sectors Twilight had at her disposal this morning finally clicked on. She bolted to the library, calling behind her, “Spike, you check in section A, I'll begin with U. Somewhere in this library there has to be a book on spontaneous wing growth!”
A frantic search ensued, peppered by conversation detailing events up to that moment. Some time later, Spike held up a slim volume, “This looks... oddly specific.”
So, You've Grown Wings:
A Unicorn's Guide to Becoming an Alicorn
By Howe Cann (PHD Magical studies)
Co-authored by Hugh B. Thissdens (PHD Pegasus Studies)
Twilight was more interested in the author. “Professor Cann wrote this? Sweet Celestia, his class was brutal! He used to mess with me every time he saw me alone in the library by calling for an impromptu pop quiz! What a sadist! Pretty brilliant though.”
Faithful reader, if you are reading this you are no doubt quite concerned with certain changes in your overall appearance. You may have noted a marked difference to your overall body structure. Perhaps you have discovered your very organs shifting in place. This guide will help you to understand the changes that you have undergone, and prepare you for still more to come.
Section one: Identification
The first step is determining what exactly has happened, a pair of wings does not necessarily mean you have joined one of the most exclusive clubs in Equestria. First you should determine what it is that has happened to you.
Step one: Unless you are reading this for entertainment, education, or simple curiosity, we will assume for the purposes of this text you are in fact a unicorn who has inexplicably sprouted wings. First, you should check, do you still have a horn? Spells exist which are capable of changing a pony's basic physiology, have you in fact become a Pegasus? If you retain your horn, proceed to step two.
Twilight snorted. “As if I wouldn't have noticed my horn was missing!”
Spike deadpanned. “You just now told me while we were looking for books: you tried brushing your mane, looked down at your wings; thought they were droopy, and stumbled down to breakfast. All well before realizing something was probably a little weird about wings coming from nowhere in the first place. Can you blame the professor for assuming someone who needs a book to figure things like this out might need a little more detail?”
“Not helping, Spike!”
Step two: Examine your wings, are they smaller than Pegasus wings? Smaller wings may mean they are nonfunctional, you should begin examining your family line for Pegasus family members. You may, in fact, simply be a Pegacorn which finally sprouted the nascent non-functional wings that Pegacorns are known for. If you were a functional unicorn prior to this incident, count yourself lucky. The majority of Pegacorns studied by medical science were not capable of true flight or magic, both being stunted by the lack of correct genes to bolster the traits of magical flight or casting. Unless you are capable of spells that can allow the use of your stunted wings you may wish to have them surgically removed for aesthetic purposes. If your wings are normal Pegasus size or larger, proceed to step three.
“Really? Stunted wings due to genetic abnormalities? Spike, doesn't Scootaloo have an earth pony grandparent? I wonder if it's something that could be fixed with gene therapy from a healthy Pegasus, do you think Rainbow could be persuaded to give some blood samples? Maybe if-”
“Twilight, you're getting off on a tangent again. Stop it.”
“Right, right, sorry.” Twilight blushed.
Step three: So your wings are larger or equal to Pegasus size, the next thing to check is: have you been using a teleportation spell with any of your Pegasus friends? If so, are your friends missing their wings? Botched spells have been known to cause body part swapping in very rare instances, did you wake up with a hangover and a sudden pair of wings? If the wings do not belong to somepony else; proceed to step four, if they do you should of course attempt to fix your horrible blunder.
She glared at the page. “Granted I had a rough night; but I don't drink, well that much, anymore... Spike stop looking at me like that! I apologized to Dash and Applejack the following morning. Princess Celestia found me just fine! I don't quite remember what happened but I fixed it okay?”
“They had to call the Royal Pegasus Guards to get you down from the roof of the palace Twilight.”
Step four: Examine the wings closely, are they truly Pegasus wing shape? Spells exist to give a Unicorn and/or Earth Pony a temporary pair of wings made from aether and mist, they most resemble translucent butterfly wings. If not, proceed to the next section.
Twilight snorted in annoyance "Professor, I know the difference. I've cast that spell! You can't mistake those giant translucent butterfly wings for anything else but magical constructs. These are clearly a part of me!"
Spike sighed, "Twilight, it's a book. It's bad enough you talk to yourself at times, do you really want to yell at a book?"
Section two: What to expect.
So by this point we've ruled out all other possibilities. The wings fluttering nervously on your back are large, beautiful, alicorn wings. Unless you happen to be friends with one or both of the known alicorns in the world you will likely want to go over this checklist to see how far along you are. If you are in fact a friend or protege of one or more of them, by all means seek information directly from the source.
“There it goes again, it's like Cann had me in mind when this was published. When was this written again? … No, the date was a good two years before I was even born. What an odd coincidence.”
Subsection one:
Magical strength:
Pick up an object, do you find the task far easier than you have previously found it? Have you, in fact, just shattered or crushed the teacup/piano/best friend in your attempts?
“That reminds me, Spike I need a new brush.”
Alicorns are known for their prodigious magical strength. The two known subjects at the time of this publication are able to move respectively the sun, moon, and stars however they wish. Simple tasks require far more focus to perform. Imagine, if you will, lifting a single hay bale with the basic telekinesis. Now imagine linking with 1.4 billion other unicorns and directing that force on the same hay bale. (Mind, the standard we refer to here is an ordinary unicorn. Magical talent unicorns can and have sprung up which are merely dwarfed by a factor of hundreds when compared to alicorns.) This is slight exaggeration of course as the true strength of an alicorn is quite immeasurable by normal terms, and can only really be done against another alicorn. As such you will need to relearn how to perform basic delicate tasks, lest you reduce all of your belongings/friends/race to smoldering ash. It's probably for the best if you begin as soon as possible.
Subsection two:
Flight:
Despite the fact you have grown wings you are unlikely to have the muscle strength necessary to perform flight; give your wings a test flap, preferably in a wide open field. You will likely find them to quite weak initially; but it’s important to check. Are they moving correctly? You should go over the basic structure of the wings. Examine your Primaries and Primary coverts first. Check their alignment, preen as necessary. Move onto the Secondaries and Secondary coverts next. (Take proper care of your wings, they will be a part of you for the rest of your life.) Finally go over your Lesser coverts, remembering to preen where appropriate. You may find you have certain instincts for this, once you examine the wing you should know what to do. If you find yourself clueless my colleague and Co author Professor Thissdens has written some excellent texts on the subject. Physical training will be required, this will be discussed in detail in the aforementioned texts.
“I bet Rainbow or Fluttershy could teach me, this really doesn't seem very in depth. Looks like he just sort of tacked it on to justify his co-author.”
Subsection three:
Body Structure:
An alicorn's basic physiology is a bit different from the norm, as you will shortly discover. While only two known cases of Alicornication have presented in known Equestrian history, study of these subjects has yielded some understanding which we will pass on now.
Your body type will become what is best described as swan-like. Your legs will become far longer, and more graceful. Your mane and tail will be the biggest physical change in your appearance. In the cases of the two known alicorns it seems that their manes flow with the energy of the celestial body they control. Celestia's mane and tail whips about in an unseen wind which she has been quoted as saying is in fact the solar wind. My colleague I. T. Burnes has written an excellent text on the subject should you wish to further study the phenomenon. Luna on the other hoof has her mane and tail flowing with stars and moonlight. Being that there are two celestial bodies and only two known alicorns it is unknown if the bodies themselves cause this or if it’s the magical control over the skies.
Twilight nodded. "Yes, Burnes also wrote ‘Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy’. He went blind in one eye. He told his class he had the revolutionary idea of studying the sun instead of the more practiced study of the stars. Personally I think he turned that telescope to peek in Celestia's bedroom one too many times. Still, he gets all the mares now, something about a stallion in an eye-patch who speaks passionately about the night sky... "
What's going to truly baffle you is your sheer physical strength and endurance. Alicorns are gifted with Earth Pony magic, which translates to the ability to take blows that would kill a lesser pony with relative ease. It also means they can go for extended periods of time without rest if needed. Celestia demonstrated this during the one thousand year imprisonment of her sister, keeping both the sun and moon in their correct places and only taking cat naps in between sunrise and moonrise.
Twilight snorted "Apparently you still feel tired though. Just what I need, the ability to push on without sleep for days on end- Sweet Celestia, the research I could get done!"
Section three: Mental Considerations
Alicorns are nigh immortal godlike figures, with enhanced strength in magic, flight and body. Their minds are similarly enhanced by nature... However, this can lead to certain complications, and it has.
Being immortal can lead to a certain degree of detachment from the ephemeral ponies who live and die inside of a single century. This can be avoided to some extent by forming attachments to individuals of each generation, but can and will lead to heartache as your favorite pony leaves you. This tendency to seek out attachment can also lead to madness if you perceive yourself to be unwanted, or unappreciated by your populace. Delusions of grandeur led one sister to war with the other. Power corrupts, and alicorns have a nigh infinite supply of power.
Also to be noted is the ability to compartmentalize multiple tasks. Each of the sisters is capable of perfectly ordinary tasks while dragging the sky along its path, they only need to focus on the rise of their respective celestial body, their magic does the rest throughout the day/night.
Conclusion:
This text, while hardly a complete guide, will give you a basic idea of what to expect having spontaneously ascended to godhood. You should seek further training from the two sisters at this point, unless you have decided to overthrow them, in which case I hereby welcome you, our new overlord.
Twilight closed the volume. "Spike, take a letter."
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I woke up with six appendages, I'm going to need to discuss this with you, do you mind if I drop by for tea?
Your faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle.
P.S. Spike here, Twilight is jumping up and down, shouting YESYESYESYES, it's really freaking me out!"
Fluttershy was feeding the chickens when Ditzy arrived, the poor dear smacked her head on the door post of the coop as she flew in. Ditzy seemed a bit more clumsy than usual, and Fluttershy could see why. Her mailbag was bursting at the seams with pink envelopes.
Ditzy shook her head, her eyes spinning for a moment, then they focused on Fluttershy. She reached into her bag and handed Fluttershy a letter.
"Letter for you 'shy, looks like Pinkie invited everypony in Ponyville."
"Oh my, we just had the "Party to celebrate last Monday's party" two days ago. I wonder what this one is for."
Fluttershy tore open the envelope and read the letter.
"Hey everypony! You're all invited to my "I woke up this morning and now I'm an Alicorn" Party! It's going to be at Sugarcube corner tonight at 8pm! Hope you can come!"
"Oh my... I wonder what she's talking about? Nopony just wakes up as another pony, although if they could that might be fun. I've always wondered how it might feel to be an earth pony, or maybe a tree."
Ditzy grinned at that, but then looked a little shocked, something inside of Fluttershy's hair was glowing!
"F-Fluttershy... why are you growing leaves?"
Fluttershy had been daydreaming about what it would feel like to have roots. "What's that Ditzy?"
Ditzy shook her head, thinking perhaps she had hit it harder than she thought. "N-nothing, 'shy I have other deliveries to make, I should go."
Fluttershy nodded. "Oh, of course Ditzy. Thank you for the letter."
Fluttershy continued tending her animals until it was time to leave for her weekly appointment. She took off for Ponyville.
"Oh my goodness!" Fluttershy was startled, her wingspan far exceeded what she was used to, she was flying much higher and faster than she ever had before! Her wings locked up in fright, and suddenly she was plummeting from thousands of feet in the air.
Fluttershy screamed! Her eyes rolled in panic as the ground came closer and closer. This... was going to hurt.
She struck the ground hooves first, the ground gave and... collapsed in a cone shape around her. She felt the impact but not the searing pain of breaking limbs she expected. She could not believe her luck... Or could she even call this luck? In any case, she believed a nice calming walk was in order, flying suddenly seemed very frightening.
She arrived at the town square and was shocked to see dozens of frogs hopping around a giant pink pillow. She had no idea what to think about this, and as such was compelled to ignore it for now. Her mind, still shellshocked from her somehow-not-fatal fall, regulated this scene to the part of her mind entitled "Somepony Else's Problem." This was not a well used section, unlike "Cute things I want to cuddle" and "Things to panic over" which were quite overloaded and spilling into other areas of the brain.
She arrived at the spa, giving a small squeaky grin to Aloe and Lotus.
"Hello girls, is Rarity already in her mud bath?"
Aloe frowned. "Non Madam, Rarity has not arrived, perhaps she is wrapped up in another ensemble design?"
"Oh my, I should go check on her. We'll reschedule our appointment for another time girls, thank you."
Lotus smiled. "Our pleasure Madam, please send our regards to Rarity, we hope she is well."
Aloe looked at Lotus as Fluttershy left. "I certainly hope she is all right, Rarity accounts for half of our business in this town!"
Lotus grimaced. “We really need to increase our clientele list sister.”
Fluttershy arrived at Carousel Boutique, but was greeted by a sight she had never seen before. A sign was posted on the door.
"Closed, Fashion emergency,
Rarity"
Closed? Fashion emergency? What was going on?
Inside, the shop was a flurry of activity, no less than twelve dozen dress designs were being sewn simultaneously, all of them with one common theme. Accentuation of a pair of appendages Rarity had never truly had before, but had dreamed of having again since her visit to Cloudsdale.
"Oh, they are so darling! I must admit I admired the style and sophistication of the magical wings Twilight was able to whip up but these beauties are truly dazzling in their own right."
She nuzzled the wings appreciatively. Now if she could just figure out how to get the fabric to flex correctly. Oh this would be so much easier with a model!
Goodness she would need more gemstones for this set, she needed to ask Spike for his assistance, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's dress templates had helped, but she had to account for the sheer size of these things. How to account for the range of movement so as not to limit herself and yet still show off...
Fluttershy stood outside the door, not quite sure how to handle this, the Boutique was never truly closed, not while Rarity was available anyway. She finally decided she would risk any potential embarrassment (Rarity had a tendency to overreact to things, she may need a shoulder to cry on or somepony's ear to bend) and politely knocked. She heard somepony approach the door.
"I'm afraid the boutique is closed for the day, please come back tomorrow!"
"Rarity? We had an appointment at the Spa today, are you all right?"
"Fluttershy! Oh my dear I am so sorry, just a moment." Fluttershy heard a locks turning, but then there was a pause. "Oh dear, Fluttershy... I need you to prepare to be startled a bit, I had a bit of a surprise this morning, it may be a bit shocking to you."
"I actually had quite a surprise myself today, I was hoping to talk to you about it."
"Well of course dear, come right in!"
The door opened, and Rarity embraced her friend. Fluttershy found her face buried in a giant white wing.
"Oh my..."
