My Little Psycho: Friendship is Pain

Chapters

Love you
Ponies
Suck my RIBCAGE!
Don't touch my COMB!
Glowy pants! part 1
Glowy Pants! part 2
Glowly Pants! part 3
I CAN SMELL MYSELF
I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE
Q and A with the cast!
Q and A time!
Don't make this weird
Go to hell and die die die!
GameFace
Meat puppet
Hellborn
Blood Drink
Tea party
no seriously the hell am i doing?
The story continued? huh?
Oh Crap...
Damn it
Guess
The story so far....
what the hell am i doing?
Alright

Love you

When Krieg woke he saw large trees all around him, unlike Pandora. Sounds were all around him, he could only guess what made them. Taking his buzz saw ax out, Krieg began walking in a strait path. He saw some wildlife that was weirder than two skags humping. A manticore, it noticed him with something in his hands. It pounced at him. Krieg went into a full blown rampage, his ax swinging side to side. Each cut landed on the beast ran red with blood, its pain evident. The psycho on the other hand was enjoying the bloodshed, with more enthusiasm than the onlookers. The mane six watched in horror as Krieg slashed and beat the manitcore to a bloody pulp. When the manticore fell the psycho dropped to the floor, the mane six could hear some things the psycho said but what he said next scared them to the bone.

"That was the bad friend touch!"

Twilight quickly formulated a plan which the rest took part of. Applejack tied the bandit's hands and feet, Twilight cast a sleeping spell on the psycho to make sure he wouldn't cause any problems. Once they were sure that the new being wouldn't cause any trouble they proceeded to sneak their way to the library. The journey was a little more difficult than what they hoped for. The cutie mark cursaders at one point came into contact with the now covered psycho, by accidently tiping him over. The mane six were glad their catch was still asleep. Once inside Twilight's home they all let out a sigh of relief.

"Spike I need you to take a letter." Twilight called to the baby dragon who was sweeping the floor. When Spike saw her serious facial expression he scurried to the supplies. Once gathered he hurried back to Twilight and copied her word for word.

......

Krieg tried to get up, feeling his hands and feet tied. Memories of what happened to him flashed into his mind. As he struggled to be free he heard female voices. Now grunting in discomfort he heaved himself into a sitting position to see six multi-colored forms before him. With anger still rising his struggle was now watched by the others in the room. The orange one spoke first.

"That vermit can't get out, ah tied him down real good girls, so don't worry."

"We should maybe um talk to it and um see if it is nice." The yellow thing said.

"No way you all saw what it did to that manticore! I'm not going to let it out so it can hurt somepony." The blue one declared, already Krieg wanted to kill her the most painful way he knew how. Then the white one spoke up.

"Really it has already committed a crime against fashion. I mean look at those dreadful rags it's wearing."

"OH I KNOW WE CAN THROW IT A PARTY!" That pink one yelled right in his face. Then finally the purple form spoke.

"Girls, we should wait for Celestia to get here. She will know what to do." Krieg didn't know of this Celestia thing but he was sure he would have fun with it. While they argued amongst themselves, they didn't notice Krieg wasn't moving anymore. Their head snapped at Krieg when he spoke.

"The silence! Kill it with knives, guns, and bullets or I will eat your nephews!" The six stared in shock at what he said never expecting his bonds weaken enough. He spoke again this time he stared at the door. "A new dolly to kill and then squirm in their blood!"

His bonds snapped, Krieg stood towering the ponies by a good five feet. His hands held his ax, and with a look of pure hate, he smashed the door down. The wooden door exploded off it's hinges, screams could be heard outside. The mane six saw him take the saw and smash his face with it.

"SHUT UP! Make the voices in my head SHUT UP!" Again and again he repeated. Krieg turned around and glared death at the blue shape.

"Wow this guy is NUTS! He hit himself with that club thing! He sure is a-" Krieg's hand wrapped around Rainbow Dash's neck.

"Oh hahahaha, I like pretty colors, but I hate you!"

"STOP THIS AT ONCE!" Krieg turned to find the yellow one glaring at him. The STARE. All of Fluttershy's friend knew this was it for the biped terror, who stared back at her. Each glaring at each other, Fluttershy finally yelled at the psycho. "PUT RAINBOW DASH DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

Each second passed painfully and slow.everyone held their breath. Krieg looked at the yellow pony harder, her gaze began to falter. Finally she dropped to the dirt trying to hide behind her mane. Krieg dropped Rainbow Dash, red marks forming around her neck. The rest of the girls watched in silence, the only noise that could be heard was the psycho's growling. With a step he stood over Fluttershy with murder in his eye.

Ponies

Krieg's fingers ran through Fluttershy's mane, she giggled as he held her above his head. All of her friends were dumb struck with this new development. They played like a father and daughter would, Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack thought it had to be the sweetest thing to be seen. They giggled when Krieg threw Fluttershy as high as he could and catch her. Rainbow Dash sat in the corner trying to catch her breath, the red marks shown brightly on her coat.

"She's just like her, we will protect this one." The inner voice spoke with Krieg as he played with the adorable butter yellow pegaus. "Remember what I told you, no innocent blood."

"Krieg is sure have'n fun, ah ain't ever seen anything like it." Applejack finally spoke up after trying to help Rainbow Dash get rid of the marks. "One second he tries to kill RD the next he's doing this."

The psycho still played with Fluttershy, now it was hide and seek. Many of the ponies that were outside when Krieg made his first appearance were down right terrified, until they noticed him playing? Not even two minutes ago he was strangling Rainbow now here he was trying to hide his form behind a small bush. Fluttershy found him pretty quickly and yelped in surprise when he began to playfully chase her. Again Twilight giggled at the sight.

"Fluttershy I think he might be tried now, come on let's have some lunch." Twilight stated calmly. The rest of the girls agreed and trotted back into the library, Krieg watched as his new found friend beckoned him into the building.

What Twilight didn't think about was Krieg always wanted meat. So he just stared down at the daisy sandwich, no meat in sight. Instead of the sandwich in front of him, Krieg reached into his pocket and pulled out a slab of raw meat. (Don't ask me where he got it.) Pulling off his mask to eat. The mane six where shocked to see both the meat and his face. They cringed when he took a massive bite, and when he swallowed. They were taken back by his face even more so. Their minds figured he must wear a mask to hide a disfigured face. On the contrary, his face extremely good looking save for the scar over his right that made a line down from his forehead to his cheek. His right eye was grey in color compared to the left eye that was a hazel.

"Stomach full need rest!" The psycho deadpanned putting his mask on. He stood, hitting his head on a low hanging self. The wood cracked and shards covered the floor. Spike groaned as he took up a broom. Krieg floped down on the floor in the middle of the room, his snores indecated he was fast asleep. Not long after the psycho dropped, a knock could be heard outside.

"Celestia! Oh um sorry about the mess. Our new friend here caused quite a bit of a mess." Twilight started to whisper careful not to wake Krieg from his nap. "So far I have no idea what he is."

"Thank you Twilight and may I ask why Fluttershy is under his arm?" Celestia pondered.

"Oh she seems to get along with him, I think." Twilight stepped back a bit to see the whole scene before her. Here was Princess Celestia and a being from somewhere else all in her library. Nervous was an understatement. The psycho still laid there in bliss, with Fluttershy still under his arm. It was cute.

"Celestia what are you doing?" Rainbow Dash asked noticing the alicorn lowering her horn to the psycho's head.

"I am going to see who and what he is." The princess replied flatly.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Rarity said with caution I her voice. Remembering how he was violent towards Rainbow Dash. Celestia shot her a hard glance before turning into a warm motherly smile.

"I need to, to be sure he won't harm any of my little ponies." Celestia warmly said, care for her subjects was great. Each and everypony, all of her subjects. They allowed her to proceed without a question. Her horn touched the man's head and instantly regretted the choice. Her mind was filled with the unimaginable visions of violence and death: beings being burned to death, wounds inflicted on creatures and what looked like children. The cruelty shown was mind numbing to say the least. Then Celestia came across his darkest memories. Held against his will, being tested on. Stripped of what made this 'Human' himself.

.....

Krieg felt something probing in his mind. Inner voice telling him of an intruder, and to stop it. His eye flashed open staring at a tall white figure.

"She's innocent as well! Don't kill her!" The inner voice raged. Krieg was on his feet, practically throwing poor Fluttershy across the room.

Suck my RIBCAGE!

Celestia's eyes opened with Krieg standing over her axe in his hands. Murder clearly present on his mind. This shocked Celestia, never had seen such a malicious look at her. The rage being built up in his was finally released. He swung madly with each step, out the door. He came upon a tree and with one hit split it in two. He still swung. Getting closer to the Everfree forest. When the trees came into view, and disappeared within them.

Celestia was stunned by the show of rage and strength, she kept staring at the tree. 'That could have been me'. While she peered into his mind she had learned a great deal of the human now charging madly into the Everfree. She also learned of his inner voice holding the psychotic beast back, and its rule of never harming an innocent life. She had never felt so terrified before, but now fear pulsed in veins at a tremendous rate. Trembling, Celestia stood and stared at the one tree that was cut in half. To think she might have been in it's place, if not for the inner voice. She looked back at Twilight who up until now hoped for the best, the lavender unicorn now was frozen. Twilight saw the look in Krieg's eyes, the pure undiluted hatred within them. What did Celestia find in his mind to set him off like that?

......

Krieg trecked through the woods, his feet leaving deep prints in the mud. His mind jumping form place to place, the tall white thing would pay for forcing him to relive the hell Hyperion made him suffer through. And after her he'd move on to that damn commando.

"He's not worth it and neither is she, you harm one of them, I will end you. A razor to our veins."

"ARGH SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Krieg roared back. Birds flew in fright from the sound of Krieg's voice. Some would swear it was the devil himself yelling, but no Krieg was the one dealing with his second personality. "I want sleep now."

"We need to go back and apologize to them. They didn't mean any harm."

"Aaaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhh! Sleep! Sleep in their pools of blood!"

"We can't do that, I will end you."

.....

"Oh- oh my is he ok? I hope he isn't getting hurt." Fluttershy squeaked in worry over her new found friend. "Or hurting any poor woodland animals, oh that would be terrible."

"Ah reckon that he is just rest'n from all that running he did, so don't you worry sugarcube." Applejack held her timid friend.

"Applejack's probably right I mean he slept like a rock when he was here so what's the worst that could happen?" Rainbow Dash added.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH." The group jumped back by the roar. They knew they were wrong.

Outside Krieg had a timberwolf by the throat while three others circled him. He watched them head towards the little village, he'd be damned if one of them attacked the little yellow one. But now he had them. With a grunt Krieg chucked the wooden wolf in his hand to the largest one, who jumped away. Now his ax in hand, Krieg swung wildly hitting the large wolf's muzzle as hard and fast as his arm could swing. Which was a damn good killing tool all on it's own. The head split open, sending shards of wood everywhere. The two others lept at the walking tower of death. Both unsuccessful. One was thrown hard back onto the dirt before exploding into a mess of bark and sticks. The last one was beheaded by Krieg's ax in a swift downward lunge. Each timberwolf was no more than fire wood now. Leaving a victorious Krieg standing a top the wood pile.

"Hahahahahahaha I got a kill stick! Put it inside my skull!" He roared promptly terrifying the ponies before him.

"Uh." Was all Applejack finally could say. After seeing what Krieg did to three wolves at once was a sight indeed.

"Go on say your sorry to them for the way you acted earlier." The girls stood back was he talking to the princess? "I said tell them your sorry."

"NIPPLE SALADS!"

"Ok close enough." The group still stared at him did they just hear a second more intellectual voice than the one before? Answer, yes. They stood there in what had to be the most awkward of silences. Until Celestia walked closer to the man with her motherly smile from before.

"Hello I am Princess Celestia co ruler of Equestria the land you are currently in. What is your name."

"Krieg! POOP TRAIN CONDUCTOR!"

Don't touch my COMB!

One whole night deciding where a man would sleep seems like an easy task, right? Wrong. Dead wrong if said man can rip your head off with his bear hands, not a very settling subject that nopony wanted to really have in their life. Twilight stared at the human as he played tag with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. She noted how he hunched over all the time, how did he stay like that? She would never know. The girls couldn't help but laugh when Krieg shouted at Celestia, why would he say that? Well he's crazy what'd you think?

"I need LOOT NOW!"

"Um Krieg, we don't have any loot. I mean I hope you're ok with that." Fluttershy whispered to Krieg. He looked at her with confusion, as if someone had taken a Teddy bear away from a child and not telling them why. "But we do have other things you might like."

"Yeah we got sports and guards 'n stuff." Rainbow Dash added. Krieg's eye narrowed when the speedster said gaurds. Rainbow caught the flash of anger in his eye. "And a lot of other thing too! Like um night clubs and um um... books! Lots and lots of books!"

Twilight nearly jumped back hearing Rainbow say books. Her jump was noticed by Krieg, his head lifted over the cyan pegasus in a predatory fashion. She quickly reeled in shock, snapping back to reality she nodded vigorously to try to appease the now glaring human. Soldiers must not be very high on his list. She quickly formulated a plan. "How about we draw straws and that way it will be fair to see where Krieg will stay!"

"Ah don't know sugar cube, personally ah don't really want him near Applebloom or granny Smith." Applejack chimed in quietly as possible.

"And I do not want him to terrify poor Sweetie Bell or Opal." Rarity added with a shake in her voice.

"I live on a cloud so I doubt he can stay with me." Rainbow Dash stated flatly.

"And the Cakes have two babies! He could give them nightmares and then they would be mad so that wouldn't be good for anypony!" The pink blur popped out of a dresser.

"He- he could stay with me... I mean if that's ok with him of course. Would that be ok with you Mr Krieg?" The adorable yellow whispered with puppy dog eyes. Krieg stood there seemingly deep in thought. What he was really doing was thinking about taking a piss outside, or wherever he could really. Once the eyes came into his view he could only stare back at the lovable pegasus. Simply a D'awww moment. Until Krieg farted as loud as his body would allow, truly ruining the moment. And yelling at the top of his lungs, "I made a DEATH CLOUD OF SMELL!"

Spike promptly passed out, being directly behind the psycho. Dash barely could contain herself, Pinkie pipe rolled with laughter, Applejack stared at Krieg with a look of shock, and Rarity, well she fled outside. Fluttershy stayed above the the oder.

"You need to say excuse me for that." Inner Krieg scolded the more dominant psycho. "And also tell Fluttershy thank you for her kindness."

"Urgh someone who cares! I can't even feel a blade in my spine! Yay NEW BEST FRIENDS! HAPPY HAPPY SKULL BASHING!" He immediately was getting looks of worry from the girls. Again the inner Krieg mentally slapped himself.

"Well um Krieg we should go, I mean if you don't mind." Fluttershy said softly, tugging on his massive arm. She slowly lead the human outside. The rest of the mane six held their collected breath, hoping he would leave without a fight or a death threat issued.

.....

Fluttershy's cottage was on the end of the path, she practically skipped with joy. Her pink mane and tail bounching with each step she took. Krieg lumbered on muttering to the inner voice who constantly reminded Krieg to behave while staying with the kind pony. Once at the door Fluttershy turned to the large human.

"Now once inside please have the best manners to all of my animal friend, if you wouldn't mind I mean. So please make yourself at home and get some rest." She said as she opened the door to her home. The door swung open to reveal a small white rabbit pouting with his front paws crossed on his chest. "Oh and this is Angel, he really is a sweet rabbit once you get to know him."

The rabbit in question glared at Krieg, who glared right back. Angel took Fluttershy's hoof and made some sort of writing. His gestures moving frantically. What Angel was trying to tell Fluttershy was, "There is no way in hell I want this thing staying here". What Fluttershy thought, "I want a hug".

"Oh Angel of course you can have a hug". The yellow mare pulled the bunny into a warm and cozy hug most would probably die for. Angel scowled up at her. What happened with the wolves was a battle, then the war had just begun.

Glowy pants! part 1

Meanwhile!!!! In the other end of the solar system, the five other vault hunters sat around a fire. Their search was a complete and total flop. In plain terms it sucked, no loot, no monsters, or anything worth of value. Talk about a really really shitty time! All of members of this group were beginning to hate this mud ball of a planet. Funny how fate works. Zero and Axton were checking the map inside the ship, while the rest sat down eating some left over Moxxi made pizza they bagged for the trip. (Yes that's a lot of pizza, well over a hundred boxes all kept in the storage deck.) God too much pizza for any human to stand. The funny side was they were all constipated for a very long time.

"Hey Zero you think I got a chance to nail Maya?"

"Axton I do not care/ life is there for the taking/ enjoy the view now."

"You know its weird how you speak in hikus. We've checked the map and, I think we're on the wrong planet." The glory seeking commando said with a bored tone.

"Not here, strange/ perhaps one of the others/ may know where to go." Zero deadpanned. Axton face palmed in a annoyed fashion. Turning away from the assassin to the door, Axton had already made the choice to never work with anyone who speaks in hikus. Reaching the door to the campsite, he stopped fearing the mechromancer's sexual advances. How she never stopped trying, damn she was really something. Outside Salvador laid down a few feet away from the fire, Maya and Gaige talked. All and all it was peaceful, unlike Pandora. Salvador could get used to this.

"Hey Sal whatcha thinking about?" Well there went that nap. His head turned to face the eighteen year old girl, which stood right over him. Metal hand on her hip.

"Nothing. And that's how it's gonna be." Salvador growled through his teeth. God it was like every time he tried to rest someone bugged him.

"I wonder how Krieg is doing on that rock we dropped him off on." Gaige said with a cheerful tone.

"Probably a lot better than us, he's got some great luck... ahhhh shit that means he took my clover! Goddamn it!" Axton replied while he closed the distance between him and the group. "Well that sonofabitch is just begging to for a beatdown!"

"Calm down, we'll go pick him up and you'll get your stupid clover. Deal?" Maya snapped.

"Deal." Axton grumbled as he sat down. Salvador chuckled to himself as the proud commando was put in his place. Maya stared at the gunzercker.

"What I didn't do anything so why are you looking at me?!" Salvador raised his hands defensively.

"Nothing, I guess I just miss that big ol' softie... he kinda grows on you. Ya know?"

.........

Angel pelted Krieg with anything he could. Ranging from carrots to books. Krieg was hit by most of said items being thrown his way, each hit just pissing the extremely violent man off. He returned fire with bear cubs and deers. Fluttershy was out shopping for extra food, completely unaware of the battle in her home. Krieg returned fire with a volly couch cushions, Angel bobbed and weaved the incoming projectiles. Angel leapt at the psycho's face landing as many paws to the face. Tiny scratch marks were all over Krieg's mask, Krieg landed a heavy hand on the bunny. Angel was helpless. He squirmed in the giant man's hand, Krieg eyed the bunny with pure hate at th fur ball. Krieg moved his other hand to Angel's head preparing to to rip it off. That is until Fluttershy opened the door.

"I'm home and--- oh my." Shock came over her as she saw her entire house in shambles. "Krieg what are you doing?"

The psycho stopped trying to pull the accursed rabbit's head off, he instead was now petting it.

"You two are going to clean this mess up... I mean if that's ok with you." She spoke. Both the rabbit and the human groaned in unision. Fluttershy only reacted by with her STARE, which made the rabbit "hop" to it. (Terrible pun). Krieg began with the books and floor while Angel cleaned the counters and stairs. Poor Fluttershy, this was going to be a long and trying time.
"Why do they act so immature?"

.........

"Luna I want you to take a look in this human's dream tonight, I may have a suspicion he will cause anymore trouble." Celestia said her face full of concern for her subjects. After what happened with Rainbow Dash she still didn't trust fully in Krieg, even though at the time he did not understand they meant no harm to him. A horrible misunderstanding. One Fluttershy defused by being a friend to the once hostile bandit. "I hope he won't be to much of a problem."

"We shall not allow him to harm thy subjects, a promise we shall keep dear sister." Luna swore to the sun princess. Since she was redeemed, Luna always did her very best to show the ponies she changed. "It looks like he's asleep now Tia, we shall visit him."

"Thank you Luna."

..........

Krieg laid down his eye closed to embrace the sweetness of night. The cot Fluttershy procured was comfortable and large enough for the psycho, his gratitude was something not easy to lose. Curling into a mishapen ball, Krieg again was fast asleep.

He drifted through a sea of black. His thoughts of death and dismemberment faded away. All noises dulled, and the silence was defining.

The flowers of the field were multitude of colors and hues, each having their own smell unique to everyone. In the center sat Krieg, his mask set on his left side. Eyes closed and no scars along his body or face.

"Hello? May we sit with you?"

Glowy Pants! part 2

"Yes you may, Luna."

"How do you know of us?" Luna asked bewildered how the human knew of her.

"They talk about you, all good things I promise."

"Our sister hath told us that thou are not to be trifled with, that thou is a beast."

"Well I kinda am. Well that part of me. The now dominate version of me. Don't mind him unless he pissess on your rugs or tears the heads off of small rodents." Inner Krieg chuckled at his own joke.

"So how come you're not in "charge"?"

"I'm more of the consciousness of us." The sane version said with a light smile. He turned towards Luna, she looked like what he had expected. "At night when we sleep, we always come to this place."

"What is this place?"

"The last happy memory we have... the moments before Hyperion came.... and experimented on me..." The inner Krieg's voice drifted into a hushed tone.

"What they do with your family?" Luna asked observing the scene before her. The family looked and sounded happy, the laughing was loud.

"My wife was shot.... in front of my daughter. I don't know what happened to my daughter, she was taken away before I could stand... they took me to a lab and forced me through horrific test... by the end I was nothing more than a voice." He spoke to the princess of the night. His eyes filled with tears.

"It will be alright, we're sure that she is safe." Luna laid a comforting wing on the broken man. "May we ask we your other half takes so kindly to miss Fluttershy?"

"She reminds us of our daughter. And don't worry, tell Celestia we will not harm any ponies." Krieg said with a heart warming smile. Joy filled Luna's heart at his words, she nuzzled his neck.

"Thank you, but it is time to wake up. We will come tomorrow."

......

"Krieg its time to wake up, I mean if you want to- eeep." Fluttershy found herself in a warm embrace as the psycho held her close, like a stuffed animal. She did the only thing she could at this point, hugged him right back. Until Angel began to jump on the hulking body. But being grabbed and tossed across the room was enough to let the rabbit know he wasn't wanted. Angel pouted where he landed effectively getting Fluttershy's attention. But being held by really muscled arms, kinda puts you at a stand still. Krieg on the other hand, was glad to hold the talking stuffed animal (real pony). But today was a new day and there were things to do. Fluttershy squirmed even harder to be free, the price of freedom can be a hit on your head when you are dropped on the ground. Rubbing her soon to be brusied forehead, Fluttershy began to pack what she was required to bring for the picinc. Plates napkins, and silverware. Once that was done, Fluttershy walked into the living room. There before her was Angel, beating on Krieg's mask, trying to peel it away. Krieg's massive clamped on the rabbit's head tearing him off and throwing the furry pest right into the closest wall with enough force to break a skag's back. The rabbit was lucky there was a soft cushion in the way, or he might have been a nice red stain on the wall. But the impact knocked down most of Fluttershy's photos of her animals she has taken I and cared for, now littered the ground. The shock of the scene set poor Fluttershy sputtering in horror.

"See the numbers? Taste the violence! Eat a cookie!" Krieg unfazed by the mess, spoke calmly snapping Fluttershy out of her stupor.

"YOU TWO ARE GOING TO CLEAN THIS UP RIGHT NOW!!!" The stare being used in full effect here was a sight to beheld. Both the rodent and the psycho began to clean the mess up in unision. "Thank you."

"Ugh too many icons." Krieg said referring to the photos that now covered the floor.

Once that was out of the kind pony invited the extremely violent man to the girls picnic with a smile. Once Krieg agreed, Fluttershy flew up to his head and gave his mask a kiss. A kiss more on the cheek, not a romantic one, but a friendly one. The door closed behind them, the skip in Fluttershy's step was very noticeable today. Krieg would have a new life and with friends that might care about him, caring was a new thing for Krieg.

Glowly Pants! part 3

"OhandKriegwasalllikeboomandthewolvesjustshatered!"

"Uh Pinkie we know, we were all there." Applejack said while practically shoving a hoof in the party pony's mouth. Pinkie stayed quiet about Krieg's match with the timberwolves. Rainbow Dash leaned closer to Applejack.

"I still don't trust him. How do we know he won't snap at us like that?" RD whispered as low as she could with out letting the psycho hear her.

"Me either, he's violent! He's such a brute and it terrifies me that Fluttershy is right in harms way. I do hope that he is house trained in the very least." Rarity added.

"Hey give him a chance, he protected us from the wolves. Besides if he really wanted to hurt any of us don't you think he would have done it by now?" Twilight smiled at Krieg when his eye fell on her.

"I think he's a sweetheart!" Fluttershy hugged the huge hand of Krieg, catching his attention.

With the picnic finished the girls began to pick up, Krieg just stated at the sky. Suddenly there was a loud boom. Fire arced across the sky, heading straight for Ponyvile. The girls could see a faint outline of something large in the fiery streak, Krieg knew what it was. The group began to run in Ponyvile's direction.

........

Axton exited the craft first, though now he wish he didn't. All around ponies stared at him. Creepy! All their eyes glued to him. Gaige jumped out next, her Deathtrap being summoned and at the ready. Maya gracefully stepped out, her siren powers in full force at the situation were ready as could ever be. Zero just appeared in the very back of the group. And finally Salvador waddled down to his friends, his left hand twitching ever so slightly.

"Oh my god! Their so cute! Can we keep them?" Gaige pleaded with the other vault hunters. "Look Sal they even have one like you! Hey Sal? Sal? Look at this one!" Gaige held a heavily muscled pegaus in her arms, careful not to crush it with her mechanical arm.

"No we aren't going to keep them. We here to get what's in the vault and that psycho asshole, that's all." Axton stated in a gruff voice, doing his best to scare the ponies.

"They're not attacking so they are peaceful. Or too shocked to see us." Maya said looking back at the commando. To all their surprise the ponies began to whisper. "And they can talk?"

"Anyone else see/ some commotion in the trees/ more are coming now." The hiku saying assassin said never looking away from the tree line.

"Hey its Krieg! We found him!" The mechromancer jumped with joy. The shout was heard, Krieg looked up. What he saw crossed any lines he had. He saw Axton kick a small yellow pony with a huge red bow, pointing his assault rifle at the two other that were with it. Krieg's speed was almost a a full sprint, within seconds he reached Axton. Krieg's hand wrapped around Axton's throat and held him in the air.

"Stupid ... psycho!" Was all Axton could say before being slammed back on the ship's hull. Krieg held him there and repeated, bashing the commando against the ship. Everypony now witnessed the brutality Krieg had. For what could've been hours he bashed and smashed the smaller man. Maya grabbed Krieg in her phaselock holding him off the ground as well as keeping Axton alive. Krieg was spining out of control, thrashing about and yelling. Maya couldn't hold him any longer, the worst idea was to let the monster of a man free. Axton held onto his head, the pain was incredible. Nothing had ever inflicted so much pain on him before. Blood dripped freely from the back of Axton's head.

"ENOUGH!" Every living thing turned to the voice. Fluttershy's chest heaved as her shout was probably heard for miles around. "You! I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU ARE GOING TO APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW TO POOR APPLEBLOOM!"

Axton was held by her gaze, staring into his soul. Salvador chuckled at the sight, and Gaige giggle as well. Maya stepped forward in between the glaring yellow pony and the terrifide commando.

"We are sorry for how Axton acted, he a JERK sometimes, but we don't any harm little one. My name is Maya, what's yours?" The siren said defusing the scene as quickly as possible. The butter yellow pony began to shrink back into her mane.

"Fluttershy." Whispered Fluttershy trying to hide herself even more.

"Fluttershy? That's a beautiful name. Well this is Salvador, Zero, Gaige, and you know Axton and Krieg. By the way how did Krieg become so protective about you- you"

"Ponies, we are ponies. I am Twilight Sparkle, one of the four princesses of Equestria..."

"GAY!" Axton finally said after his beating. Leading him to be smacked by Zero.

"As I was saying, your friend Krieg just showed up two days ago and we have learned a great deal about him." Twilight rebuttled the commando.

"Yeah and he saved us from a timberwolf attack and fought a manticore." Rainbow Dash picked up the conversation. Maya turned to the rest of the ponies, who now had smiles on their faces.

"Howdy there partner, names Applejack, and this here is my sister Applebloom."

"Hello there darling, my name is Rarity dress maker and I must say I would absolutely love to make a dress for you! The challenge it would present and my willingness to over come said challenge would be wonderful."

"I'm Rainbow Dash! Fastest fly er in all of Equestria!"

"GAY!"

HiimPinkiePieilovetothrowpartiesdoyoulikepartiesilovethem!"

"That's just Pinkie Pie for ya." Applejack said with a chuckle.

"Well I said it once, I'll say it again. GAY!" Axton shouted.

"Shut up puto! Their nice." Salvador shout back. They all looked at the psycho who had been quite for awhile.

"I love to wait for my meals!"

I CAN SMELL MYSELF

"Ok it was cute the first three times you said it, but really Twinkle Star where are we?" Axton asked again.

"Its pronounced Twilight Sparkle, and for the fourth time this land is called Equestria. And hold still your head took a beating." Twilight calmly spoke but slowly wanting to send him the sun.

"So a bunch of miny talking horses live in a place called Equestria.... I so call bullshit."

"Axton shut up, their nice enough to fix your wound and you still want to be mean to them? It ain't that bad here, I mean just look around, so calm and peaceful." Salvador grumbled. "I could get used to this."

"Gay."

"Well maybe we should let Krieg have you, how does that sound?" Salvador deadpanned.

"Will both of you please be quite? I've got to focus on his wound and if I can't I might end up tearing his head off. Axton you gonna be quite now?" Twilight sighed.

"Yes ma'am."

...........

"So you guys are like treasure hunters? That's pretty cool. Not as cool as me though." Dash's chest swelled with pride.

"Have you ever killed a six leg ged dragon made of lava?" Gaige cut in.

"No... but we faced a god of chaos!"

"We've fought things called invincibles, they don't die easily."

"Yeah! Well we faced a dictator!"

"So have we."

"Yeah but I can fly!"

"That would be awesome if I could fly." Gaige admitted. Smirking at Rainbow Dash. "So how has the big lug been?"

"The first day he nearly killed me! But he made up for it by smashing these timberwolves so it's cool." Rainbow Dash said taking a look at Krieg, who was now staring at Maya.

"Well, Maya found him first. Personally I think he's fun to have around, you have not lived till you've seen him go all mutant bad ass." The mechromancer chuckled. "He gets really scary when he does that. I've even old Sal over there get freaked out when he's gunzerking."

"Yeah, Krieg is something else." Maya said, now joining the conversation. "This one time when we were fighting the giant worm, Krieg lit himself on fire! And I swear within the next thirty minutes that worm was a burning husk. Good times."

"So how'd he get here?" Applejack finally said, showing some interest.

"Well that was kinda my fault." Gaige looked a little ashamed now. "He was on edge, and we didn't want to die, so we dropped him off here... umm this is awkward."

"So you dropped him in our hooves?" AJ said back, thinking aloud.

"Hey I didn't know talking ponies lived here!" Gaige defended. She felt really bad about this subject. "I'm sorry that we dumpt a psychopathic killing machine on your world."

........

"She still is beautiful as ever. You see that rose over there? Give it to her and tell her to help us become a normal person again." The inner Krieg spoke, hardly above a whisper.

"Strip the flesh!" The psycho roared. Causing every living thing to stare at him.

"No ask her to make us sane."

"I've got a meat bicycle built for two pretty lady!" Now Maya looked at Krieg, remembering when he first called her that. Her smile made Applejack curious, to say in the least. "I'm ready for the spine tingling of a lifetime!"

"Close but so far. Just give her the flower already." Inner Krieg mentally facepalmed.

The psycho moved slowly to the siren, rose in his hand. Delicately he placed it in her hair. The red rose clashed with the siren's blue hair, and complemented it at the same time. Krieg walked away not seeing the smile Maya wore.

"Ah think he really likes ya, like a special somepony or somethi'n." Applejack said breaking the silence.

"He's really sweet when you get to know him." Maya responded with her motherly tone again.

"You say sweet, I say nearly killed me!" Rainbow Dash retorted with a slightly annoyed tone. Her eyes still glued to the psycho. He sat with his hands and arms resting between his legs, his head cast downward. Rainbow caught the siren staring at him as well. Dash could only wonder what they both were thinking about.

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Author's Note

Hey guys sorry for the short chapter. I want you guys to know that I truly appreciate that you, the readers do enjoy this story. All I'm asking is can I please find an editor? I love ya guys.

I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE

Later that night.

"Well Krieg is doing great here, just think he wanted to kill you awhile ago." Maya said as she began to make her cot. Axton on the other hand was wide awake. Still checking every gun they had. "If you keep checking the weapons I'm going to smack you!"

"There are three missing!" The commando yelled back. "Krieg has guns!"

"Which ones did he take?" Maya responded sluggishly.

"The Burning Infinty, the Nukem, and he took a corrosive Conference Call! Those were all the guns I found and called dibs on." Axton cried, practically weeping. "It's not fair! Those were mine."

"Someone shut him up/ the noise he makes, terrible/ too loud for our friends." The assassin remarked casually.

"Pendjo keep quiet! I was about to sleep!"

Every vault hunter groaned from Axton's constant whining, each of them now having a difficult time getting some rest. Slowly but surely they began to drift off into a wonderful night's sleep.

.........

"Hahahahahahahahahaha I like my treasure like I like my baby steaks rare." Krieg shouted, practically jumping with joy over his new guns. Fluttershy eeped at Krieg's comment on his new guns. She was a little uneasy when Krieg brought more weapons into her home, but he protected ponies so was there really any problems? Yes. Fluttershy was worried how the commando would react with the guns missing. But her soft warm bed called to her, with the promise of a good night rest.

Krieg on the other hand was running his fingers over the smooth surface of the Burning Infinty. Unaware of the small furry rodent eyeing him with hatred. Krieg wanted to use his new toys on anything, except for the ponies. As quiet as he could Krieg opened the door and crawled outside. The cool night air brushed his skin, the night sky was beautiful as ever no matter where the psycho went. But the call of his guns pulled him away from the sky and into the Everfree forest, with Angel in tow.

Angel was set on his goal of kill the behemoth this night, and so much better his quarry would go to a place where the animals would eat him. But he would have to be extra careful to get the tower of flesh, rage, and abdominal muscles in the right spot to end its struggle.

........

Krieg came to a dead stop. A large chasm separated the psycho's journey. The silence was everywhere, until a twig snapped. A blur of white at Krieg's throat, with a sharp metal object held in it's paws. Angel slashed through the air as he sailed full speed, only to be met with the cold hard dirt. Again he jumped at Krieg, repeating his attacks. The metal hit Krieg's left arm, giving him a good size cut. Again Angel went for Krieg's throat. Only to be stopped by a rapidly spinning saw blade from the axe. The large metal blade made short work of the puny rabbit. Within seconds the devil bunny was no more.

"Raaaaaahgggh I swallowed your soul!" Krieg yelled at the now twiching body. The psycho turned back to the chasm, taking out the Nukem he fired off a rocket. The other side of the chasm fell into the gorge, beyond that nothing lived in a twenty meter radius. "I saw the light!"

He fired off the Conference Call at a standing tree, effectively blasting it to bits. The pistol he aimed straight up at the sky. The volley of bullets soared into the heavens, killing roughly three pegasi.

"MEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAT."

......

The entire town of Ponyvile woke up when they all heard a loud boom. Foals cried, fillies shouted, and parents tried their best to ease their children back to sleep. The vault hunters on the other were wide awake. They knew Krieg just fire off the Nukem, the only question was where was he.

The mane six all simultaneously jumped in fright. A dragon? No that wasn't it. What could have made that loud noise? As if on que by a god, their minds snapped to one thing alone. Krieg!? Each one met in the center of town, they asked Fluttershy if she knew where he went.

"No I didn't see him leave, and I can't find Angel anywhere!" The distraught yellow pony cried.

"Don't worry there Shy we'll find them, or my name isn't Rainbow Dash! Which it is."

This heart warming moment was soon interrupted by Axton running in the forest's direction. Followed by Zero and the other vault hunters. They each held something in their hands, Axton lead them to the forest's edge.

"Ok people we got a heavily armed psycho in there, let's try and get him before anyone gets hurt." He spoke with authority in his voice.

"Wait! We're coming with you!" Twilight called out.

"No time to argue with them let's go!" Maya shouted.

.....

Krieg knelt by one of the bodies. Its bluish armour was broken and still lit with the fire rounds of the pistol. The moon symbol on the chest piece gave the inner Krieg worry.

"We might have accidently declared war on the ponies. Well if we had ever done anything stupid, this tops those." The sane version deadpanned.

"HORRIBlE SONG IN AWARD WINNING MOVIE!"

"Yeah we're dead."

Voices in the forest caught the psycho's attention, they grew louder. The sane Krieg could only guess how close they were. Each second seemed like an hour, Krieg didn't move. He sat as still as he possibly could. His gaze fell on the dead rabbit now.

"I think I found something over here!" That was Axton, sane Krieg knew they take him away and possibly execute him and his monstrous half. But Maya showed first. She saw the bodies, each had tiny flames struggling to keep alive. Then see saw Krieg sitting quietly.

"Krieg?! What did you do?! They might KILL you for this!" Maya asked with tears forming in her beautiful eyes. Krieg just looked at her, with the most understanding looked the siren had ever seen from the insane man.

"Well well well. Looks like he fucked up. I should plug him right here and now!" Axton roared.

"NO! Krieg tell this was an accident! Tell them this isn't what was meant to happen!" Maya shouted.

"Amigo you fucked up hard." Salvador chimed in.

"NO ANGEL! KRIEG WHY?!" Fluttershy shouted. Twilight stepped closer to the insane man now, sympathy in her eyes.

"Krieg... in order to protect my friends and subjects I have to place you under arrest. For crimes against Equestria and for the murder of Angel." The tone in Twilight's voice was the saddest thing the vault hunters had ever heard. "Will you come willingly?"

Krieg looked up now. "Shoot me til you love me."

Q and A with the cast!

"Hello there everypony, Twilight Sparkle here to announce we will be doing a questions and answers session in three days. So think of what you want to ask us. Anypony else want to add someting?

"GAAAAAAAAAAY."

"NIPPLE SALADS!"

"Krieg that doesn't even make sense. And Axton... be nice to the ponies."

"Ah to hell with you Maya."

"This going to be cool, but with me here it'll be 20% cooler!"

"Ugh everypony just think of things you want to ask us. KRIEG PUT THAT DOWN! Ugh see you guys in three days."

Q and A time!

Ok boca asked to each mare, Krieg is dangerous why not use the Elements of Harmony to cure him of his insanity?

We aren't sure that would work on Krieg here. We don't know how he became how he is now.

Can you hear my PANTS!?

No they can't hear your pants, asshole.

Axton that wasn't very nice.

thepinkparty asked, will there be a Krieg and Fluttershy shipping?

Oh oh my umm- he's nice but kinda scary sometimes. But um shipping I don't know.

Wait that means romance? Eww that's fucking gross interbreeding with horses! Oh god I can't get that out of my head!

Hey what did I tell you Axton? Be nice to the ponies, they healed your head even though they didn't have too.

Skull bash SKULL BASH! Raghhahahahahahahahaha SKULL DASH!

We don't know how that jackass is dead. I personally hope he stays dead.

Ok Frapers asked Axton if he swap turret manufacturers.

Yes and no. My turrets are Dahl made, but with a little modifications to them.

qazse asked "Twilight what do you think is Krieg's best quality?"

I don't know. Maybe the fact he is really protective of us ponies. That is what I say is a great quality. What do you say Krieg?

Hurt the one you love, DO IT! I see red hahaha.

Malestorm asked all of us a lot of questions... wow umm Axton here you go.

Holy SHIT! Yeah umm, hate to break it to you I'm just awesome. And I stole my turrets when I went "AWOL".

Ah don't know what alcohol would be in my family's cider. As for the apple bucking maybe our friend Axton here.

Hey fuck that I'm here for loot and glory!

Oh I just love small woodland animals. Vacation? Umm anywhere from big scary dragons. yay.

IthinkGaigewouldbethepartyanimalbecausewellidontknowwhybutstill!

Hahahahahahaha BLOOD DRINK!

Amigo did you just say she can be used as a gun? Twilight and I gotta go shoot something!

This ones from omni001 "Is my other half easier to control after a rampage? Yes, he is. And here's one for you.

Meeeeaaaaat. Keep warm.

Maya omni001 wants to know if you ever considered dating Krieg.

I would be lying if I say I didn't, but if he could get a little more control over his out bursts it would be a very good possibility.

Whoa you would have Krieg as your special somepony?!

Gay! So GAY! I hate this place so much.

Ok I think that enough questions. And if your wondering about the day here Equestria has a faster rotation so for us it has been three days.

I hate you ponies so much.

Don't make this weird

"Three days and they haven't killed us yet, three days of just waiting in this hellhole." The inner voice told his insane half. "Are they deciding how?"

"Strip the FLESH!"

"Well whatever they've chose hopefully it'll be quick and painless, unlike that rabbit."

"Urgh the choices are prezteling my inner lobes!"

The sane Krieg gave up with talking with himself in favor of the quiet and peace. They took the guns... but they would never have his buzz saw axe. But the psycho didn't really need any guns to inflict pain on his enemies. For three days he sat in the holding cell. Until his memory went back to the days of Hyperion's treatment, the cell seemed more foreboding now. Krieg's head snapped side to side, looking for what was to torture him.

..........

"Celestia if I may, just let me put a bullet in his head."

"That is not how we do things here Axton! Though I do approve that you want to help us but we won't kill him." Celestia said as calmly as possible. Maya just stared at them, disbelief written heavily in her eyes.

"Then what are we going to do?" Axton's eyebrow now rising. "I mean we just can't banish him and forget what happened."

"I was hoping for a peaceful way to do this. Maybe banishment to the bad lands?" Celestia asked with some kind of hope.

"Princess, Krieg isn't what you can handle. He needs a bullet to his skull! If we just send him somewhere else he could kill another of your ponies."

"Maybe but this is my kingdom and my subjects I will do the best I can."

"What if we sent him to the sun?"

"Axton!?" Maya finally broke her silence. "If anyone is going to put him down... I should do it."

"Well its time for him to get some food, Shinning Amour send two guards to give Kreig some food."

"Yes your highness!"

Maya sat there now in deep thought, wondering how Krieg is handling this. She had a soft spot for poor Krieg ever since he saved her from the rats at the train station. She figured if he saved her then he wasn't all that bad. But this was out of her hands.

......

"Hey it looks like you get some food. By order of Celestia. I wouldn't give this thing food on my own free will." Stone Hammer mocked with Long Lance.

"And the rest of them down here shouldn't get any meals either." Long Lance poked the psycho with his spear. "Bunch of wasted lives."

The spear made strong contact with Krieg, cutting his right hand. The psycho's head snapped up, glaring at the two guards. Again he was hit with the cold metal. Memories flooded back into the man. Men cutting his chest open with scalpels, being shocked with live wires, and forced to kill innocent people. Krieg's mind snapped, his strength now undeniable. The bars to his cell began to bend with his might. The guards only looked in disbelief at the sight.

"Look at the fantastic BLOOD boy I've become!" Krieg roared as his hand wrapped firmly around Long Lance's neck. The guard struggled for air in hopes of freeing himself from the monster that held him. Strong Hammer was held in fear, the thing just broke through the cell and now choked the life out of Long Lance. "More blood for MY BRUTALITY!"

"Ahaghhghahgha." Was all Strong Hammer could get out before the psycho descended upon him. Krieg punched the pony repeatedly in the face until Strong Hammer was barely reconizable, dropping him in the cell. Krieg was free. Taking a quick second to look around Krieg sped to the right. The door in front of him wouldn't hold him back. Krieg threw his entire weight at the door, smashing it. The light dazed the madman only for a second. Ponies that saw the psycho speeding down the halls made sure to stand out of his way.

..........

Maya wondered if Krieg really was being quiet in his cell. Her answer came as a loud crash and screams echoed in the halls. Maya turned to see at least a dozen guards running towards the noises, her mind told her to follow. She rounded every corner they did, to be lead to the prisoner cells. One guard laid dead, and the other was in the cell Maya could only guess that was Krieg's. The bars that were bent gave the story life. Maya just watched as the guard in the cell was pulled out, he was still alive.

"What happened here?" Maya asked hoping the answer wasn't what she expected.

"Your friend Krieg must've broke out and attacked these two stallions, we need a search party now!" The captain informed.

Maya was right. And Axton would just love to hunt the psycho down like a dog. Maya hoped she could find Krieg first.

Author's Note

Hey guys. Raven Shadow here, hoping you'll enjoy this filler chapter. And also to say if you guys fav'd this story please like it. Is that to much to ask? I hope not. Any way please enjoy.

Go to hell and die die die!

Krieg's feet pushed him through Canterlot, every step away was to freedom. His mind on nothing but meat. Taking back alleys was a great way to hide, but Krieg was a fighter, murderer, and now wanted for the killing of a guard. Yea today for Krieg was turning out to be fun. The train station was now in sight, just hop on the top and home free. Every second counted now. Krieg made a mad dash for the train as it began to pull away, careful not to squish any ponies under his feet. Just a little more feet and freedom would be as good as loot! Until a guard stepped out of a doorway. Krieg wouldn't stop now, he continued his race. The guard saw the psycho move like an animal that's been forced into a corner. He quickly called for other guards, only to see the man on the top of the train. Krieg watched as some of the pegasus guards fly after him. The train rumbled down the tracks. The ponies that gave chase slowed once they realized that weren't going to catch the psycho. Krieg decided to sit as the train made its way to Ponyvile, his first stop to make some things right.

.....

Maya sat on the palace steps with a small smile on her lips, shaking her head slightly. Until she heard a choir singing a rather forebooding song.

"Something’s moving swarming under rugs
Cold flesh cosy home for worms and bugs

Their children, bad omen, these evil seeds will grow
Dark havens, black ravens, thunder’s about to blow

Hell’s already here if we are living to die
Beast loose in paradise
Who knows if we’re gonna meet in heaven tonight?
Beast loose in paradise

The beast is loose!

Madness rose upon their last of kin
Crazy hungry for another sin

Their children, bad omen, these evil seeds will grow
Dark havens, black ravens, thunder’s about to blow

Hell’s already here if we are living to die
Beast loose in paradise
Who knows if we’re gonna meet in heaven tonight?
Beast loose in paradise

The beast is loose!

Vertigo swirls down
To skeletal hell
Wrapped up in a death shroud
Biting at souls who are ready to fall

Hell’s already here if we are living to die
Beast loose in paradise
Who knows if we’re gonna meet in heaven tonight?
Beast loose in paradise.

Hell’s already here if we are living to die
Beast loose in paradise
Who knows if we’re gonna meet in heaven tonight
Beast loose in paradise"

"Well that's not fucking creepy at all." Maya whispered to herself. Unaware of Salvador standing right behind her.

"Yeah it was amigo. I don't think he meant to kill them so don't worry and I know when killing is intended!" Salvador said calmly.

"Axton wants to kill him... but Krieg doesn't kill the innocent." Maya confided within the gunzecker.

"He musta had a damn good reason then. So cheer up we'll find him before Axton and fat ass do." Salvador said referring the sun princess, which made Maya chuckle at his joke.

"She'd probably send you to the dungeon for that."

"Ah maybe, come on amigo let's go and find our psycho." Salvador gave Maya a smile, which the siren return.

........

"Need things to blow up!" Said Krieg as he leapt from the train car. His trip was boring to say the least.

"First we need to apologize to the one that owned the rabbit. Then we need to hide but no innocent lives! The last ones were pure accidents so I'll let those slide but I swear if you intentionally kill an innocent pony I'm taking that axe of yours and I'm peeling your throat out." Inner Krieg warned the insane man.

"Aaaarrrgggh SHUT UP!"

"No that's the deal."

Krieg, while arguing with himself smacked right into the yellow pony he meant to apologize to. When he looked down and saw her cowering away from him, Krieg felt ashamed for once. He knelt down to Fluttershy, whom was now on the verge of crying. Krieg picked her up ever so gently and whispered. "Sorry."

When Fluttershy heard that she could do nothing but stare at Krieg. His eye held so much remorse, Fluttershy understood immediately what he was sorry about. He set her back down, only to be knocked down by Rainbow Dash.

"Get away from her you creep!" RD yelled. And the remorse that Krieg's eye held was gone replaced with anger. Krieg shoved her off his chest, again making a mad dash. This time he went full speed towards the treeline, hoping to stay out of sight. His speed made Rainbow's mouth hit the ground. Krieg was gone again, all that could be heard were his footsteps slowly disappearing into silence.

"What'd he say to you?" Rainbow Dash asked with a growl.

"He told me he was sorry..." Fluttershy's voice barely audible. She stayed absolutely still for what could have been a good five minutes. Dash just kept watching the trees, in awe from Krieg.

........

Krieg's body smashed through tree after tree, still moving as far from the ponies as possible. Yards turned to miles, until he turned back to see how far he was. Canterlot wasn't even in his field of vision anymore. Ponyvile was nothing but a speck in the distance, Maya was nothing but a dot even Krieg couldn't see. For the first time today Krieg laid down and drifted off to sleep.

The inky blackness again surrounded the psychopath.

"NIPPLE SALADS!"

Author's Note

The song in this chapter is Beast Loose in Paradise, is owned by the band Lordi. I do not own any rights to said song or any characters in this story hope you enjoy this story!

GameFace

"How could he escape?! That cell was enhanced with magical properties, it was meant to hold him!" Celestia ranted with her mane set ablaze. She still stared in disbelief at the damage from the psycho's out break. The bars of the cell bent outwards, blood stained the floor.

When Celestia arrived down where the cells were located she had felt many emotions at one time. Happiness, disappointment, anger, and regret. Happiness that the psycho has disappeared, as well as disappointment that he did escape. Anger for what happened to her guards and regret that it happened to kill one of the guards. She had witnessed what Krieg had went through and she just nearly did the same thing to the tortured man. Her mind began to think of explanations.

'Maybe one of the guards left the the room and he had said something, or Long Lance did something, but what happened?' Her mind deep in thought about where Krieg would go, she didn't hear Axton walking up behind.

"Hey there sunny butt!" Axton said with a skip in his step. His cheerful tone was a change of pace. "When you hear about this you are going to shit a gold brick."

"Axton what do you want I'm in the middle of an investigation at the moment can this wait until this is over?" She responded with a tired voice.

"Well no it can't. We found a vault here! Do you know what that means!?" Axton said now practically jumping up and down. "You guys have a vault!"

"That's all fine and dandy but I have four dead ponies and a killer on the loose. So if you don't mind I need to find Krieg."

"That's just it he is the going to open the vault, you nab him and we get the loot. It's a win win situation."

"How do you know he is going to open this so called vault?"

"We have a translator from a friend. 'The whole thing was about a monster of a being protecting the most innocent, only then the vault shall open', or some crazy shit like that." Axton said with a heavy use of sarcasm about the vault translation. "Oh and your sister says she will track Krieg down through his dreams, or something stupid like that."

"Fine fine, just please go now Axton." Celestia sighed, halfway paying attention to the smug commando.

.......

Luna began her dream walking state with Maya and Salvador standing beside her to help find the missing vault hunter. Her eyes glowed a bright white, she began to speak.

"Hello again Krieg... how are you doing?... That is good, but you have to listen to me and come back."

Maya knew that Krieg wasn't stupid enough to just walk up to a heavily guarded castle. Luna had explained that in order to speak with the psycho in question while she did this was a very simple task, just touch Luna. Maya did just that.
Instantly regretting it.

Inside the dream world of Krieg's head, it was a hell in its self. Maya assumed she'd would have to crawl through the bloodied mess of the gore and flesh. Maya could hear the insane Krieg slicing something as well as an occasional scream. Deciding to follow the noise, Maya stumbled upon a horrific scene of carnage and blood. The monster of Krieg was slicing into a never dying Axton over and over again. The saw blade hitting the commando's throat and tearing away the flesh. Maya wanted to puke at the joy the monstrous form was having. Over and over the axe fell upon Axton. The dream Axton feebly tried to stop the monster only to be hit harder. Maya started to back away, until a rock under her foot slid out causing quite a ruckus. The monster snapped his head in the siren's direction, there was something there. The monster Krieg began to move in Maya's direction. Her heart was beating at a tremendous rate, his foot steps were drawing nearer. Maya shook in fear.

'Was this the side of Krieg that was the monster? If so I need to find the smart non hostile Krieg'. The siren thought to heeself . She slowly turned her head once the steps had stopped. Only to see Krieg standing over her with his axe gripped with white knuckles, his hateful gaze locked with the beautiful eyes of Maya. She never felt so afraid in her life. The axe came down as fast and as hard as the monster could swing it. Time slowed, the blade spinning ground to a halt. Krieg's arm stopped inches away from Maya's face. Luna appeared next to the siren, wrapping her forelegs around her and teleporting away. The axe came down, crushing rocks and kicking up blood on the psycho's mask. Seeing as his new victim was gone, the monster turned back to the dream Axton, who had barely managed to crawl five feet away from his starting position.

"Hahahahahahahaha MY AXE is THRISTY!"

......

When Maya opened her eyes she was both surprised and happy to be out of that nightmare. She turned around slowly hoping not to make any sudden movements to upset whatever else was in the broken man's mind. Instead she was greeted with a warm smile.

"Hello Maya."

"Krieg? Is it really you?"

"Yes I'm real. Well as real as I can be in this place." The calm Krieg chuckled at his own joke. "Now let's get down to business shall we?"

"Krieg where did you go?"

"Maya, promise me you won't tell the others where I am please." The sane man began to plead.

"I promise."

"Me and him are in the forest. We ran for a long time, both him and I are sleeping under a tree."

"Why did you allow your "other" half to kill those ponies and that rabbit?"

"We told our daughter we're sorry."

"Daughter?" Luna asked a little bewildered.

"Oh sorry, I mean Fluttershy. She reminds us of our little girl." Krieg's eyes held some tears in, but not all of them. Maya put her hand on Krieg's cheek. His hand moved to hers, holding it softly. Luna could only smile at such a heart warming moment. "Did you see him?"

"Who?"

"The other me..." Krieg said with a serious tone. His eyes became cold and seemed to look past everything.

"Yes."

Author's Note

Okay guys I'm not going to lie... writing this chapter sucked ass. It didn't feature Krieg that much expect for the dream ones, and believe it or not that's hard to write. I hope you guys are still enjoying this story even though some chapters sucked (like this one). But I will do interviews with all the cast and I hope Axton doesn't get all butt hurt over the dream version of him. I love ya guys!

Meat puppet

Maya just stood baffled by meeting the sane man. His face captivated the siren.

"Maya I've been wanting to tell you, ever since we first met I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. But now a wrench has been thrown into our lives." Krieg said with a pained tone. "Please forgive my other half for what he's done? Those three pegasi were accidents and that guard made us go through a very painful memory."

Luna now stepped by the man's side, putting a comforting hoof on his shoulder. Krieg understood that Luna forgave him. "Krieg we both forgive you we know you wouldn't harm anypony just for fun."

"Thank you."

"But you have to wake up now... we will see you very soon Krieg, we both will."

.......

Salvador just watched the siren and the princess work they both said things and heard things Sal couldn't hear, or wouldn't want to hear for that matter. When the two awoke he shifted over to ask how it went.

"Krieg and I had a wonderful chat, we expected Maya to show up right after I did but it turns out... well she found the other Krieg." Luna explained, only to be interrupted by a knock at the door. She slowly opened said door only to be bum rushed by Rarity who wore a huge smile.

"Princess! I must know what kind of dress you'll be wearing for the Gala." Rarity nearly screaming. Since the Gala was only two days away things were crazy around Canterlot. Ponies setting up stands, stall vendors trying to find great spots.

....

Krieg was awakened by gruff voices, definitely not pony. Krieg began to creep through the underbrush. A large camp of griffons sat around an open flame, each one held weapons. The psycho wanted to rip them to pieces, and bath in their meat chunks. They didn't notice Krieg as he crept up on them.

"We will catch them all by surprise! Oh the ponies will never see us coming! Hahaha." The largest griffon spoke with confidence.

"Best "Gala" ever then, eh boss?" The second one added in with a merry tone. "We got enough of us to take those happy go lucky suckers down."

"That's right Redtip, they won't know what to do. And I got us a pony who says he'd sneak us in." The large griffon stuck out his chest proudly. "And I Black wing will bring the princesses to begging!" Every griffon in the camp cheered as their leader ranted. If they only knew of the monster that stalked their camp, they would've never made these plans to attack.

"Sir what about the Elements of Harmony?" The smallest griffon asked.

Black wing smiled at him. "We kill them all."

Krieg's mind was in an uproar. His sane side telling him to warn his new friends, while the Krieg we know and love wanted to bash their skulls in with a wet mop.

"We need to warn Celestia and Maya! We are not putting them down yet!" Inner Krieg rage at the insane half. "Then we can hurt them, but not before."

"Arrreagh, big birds have shinny feathers."

"Listen we need to warn the others. They left their weapons on the ship, maybe if we reach them in time we can be prepared!"

"Bloodly meat chucks vomit sacks!"

While they both argued in their head, the griffons called it a night and headed into their tents. Krieg wanted to slaughter them while they slept peacefully. So tempting to slit their throats. Sane Krieg fought so much for control.

Author's Note

I fucking hate this chapter. I hate it so much.

Hellborn

The Gala (Two days later)

Everypony mingled, this certainly was a wonderful time. The stall venders made many a good bit. Celestia was surprised at this turn out, at least over four hundred ponies attended. Celestia even managed to convince DJ Pon3 to play at this year's Gala, many cheered once the wubs were heard. Even other races attended, feeling proud was an under statement for Celestia. Luna on the other hoof was uneasy.

The vault hunters each were having a great time, except Axton because he's a bitch.

"Maya I have to ask this, how is your hair blue when most of your kind have brown hair?" Twilight finally asked.

"Well I don't really know to be honest." Maya shrugged.

"I think it looks awesome!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "But not as awesome as me of course, but it's up there."

"Anyone know where I can grab a drink? Come on amigos!" Salvador yelled with an inside voice.

"Well heck Sal, ah got some cider. Here drink up see if'n you like that." Applejack passed a mug of "Apple" cider. Once the mug was in the hands of the gunzercker the liquid was gone. Chugging the cider within a five second time span, Salvador managed to make Rainbow Dash's jaw quite literaly hit the floor. Sal grinned from what he could guess was a small victory as the others mouths drop. "Ah didn't know you'd like it that much partner."

"Oh it was the best! Thanks amigo!" Sal smiled with a confident grin.

.....

Gaige noticed many things about the Gala, every pony was having a great time for one. The rich and the poor laughed together, as well as putting all differences aside. Enemies sang together, really bad when they were drunk. And a very snobbish unicorn with a yellow mane. As she sat watching the crowd, that unicorn noticed her.

"Standards must have dropped if they let something as hideous as you into the Gala." Blueblood smirked gaining the full attention of the mechromancer. "Move aside peasant, oh I nearly forgot you must bow before royalty."

"Yeah they had to let standards drop to let in a prick like you." She retorted.

"Such a foul thing like you doesn't deserve to even cast its filthy gaze at me."

"Yeah well you're not much to look at. I mean an asshole, stuck up, bitch boy. Yeah I think that makes you worthless." She smiled at Blueblood.

"I'll have you banished from Equestria!"

"Nah you can't do shit."

.....

"Black wing when shall we launch our assault?" Redtip asked his commander who was staring intently at Twilight.

"Once Princess Luna and Celestia make their leave, we begin. And this new princess will fall first. I will have her head, is that understood?" Black wing asked his men. Each one nodded vigorously, they understood what their jobs were. First party was meant to keep the doors shut keeping everypony out. Second party would round up the ponies. And finally the third party would take the princesses by force. "We move in thirty minutes from now."

....

Luna watched from the balcony, searching for the psycho. A lite knock came from behind her, to her surprise it was the mechromancer.

"Still looking huh?" Gaige said flatly.

"Yes, I have a terrible feeling about tonight and I can't find why." Luna's head dropped down a little. "I wish things didn't turn out the way they did."

In the distance the two could hear the new song being played.

"You knew the trick
I didn't see it coming
I did not hear a sound

For you were quick
I will not be forgiven

You won't be waiting for my return
I promise baby - You'll burn

Now it snows in hell
This is the day foretold till death do us part
Now it snows in hell
I've gone away but I've got you in my heart
All frozen and scarred

Your life goes on
and it's infuriating
How did you not get caught

Your deed will spawn
a fate beyond your making
You won't be waiting for my return
I promise baby - You'll burn

Now it snows in hell - We're done masquerading
This is the day foretold till death do us part
Now it snows in hell - No you won't be waiting
I've gone away but I've got you in my heart
All frozen and scarred

You shouldn't visit, me at my grave
My hands will grab you through the dirt
I giveth - I taketh away
Witness my rebirth from the devils churn
Hell - We're done masquerading
This is the day foretold till death do us part
Now it snows in hell - No you won't be waiting
I've gone away but I've got you in my heart
All frozen and scarred

Hell - We're done masquerading
This is the day foretold till death do us part
Now it snows in hell - No you won't be waiting
I've gone away but I've got you in my heart
All frozen and scarred"

And as if on que the Gala became an uproar, Luna and Gaige heard things being broken and smashed. Then came the sound of a commander who would have organized the whole thing.

"We have one princess, and five freaks! The other princesses should come out if they don't want any of their precious ponies harmed."

Gaige shot Luna a worried look, and Luna returned the look. Luna wouldn't allow any of her subjects to be harmed by whoever caused this mess. She trotted forward, only to be captured by three griffons.

.....

Krieg saw the whole thing and knew what had to be done. These birds would be meat puddy in his hands.

Author's Note

It snows in Hell is owned by Lordi I own no rights to the song. And to everyone that wants to hate this story please go die in hole thank you. Also I am going to ruin those haters' days I my project I'm doing (my next story) will feature a lot of Gore and death. So I want all those haters to read that I might kill your favorite character. (Evil laughter)

Blood Drink

Krieg slunk in and out of light, his axe ready for the slaughter to come. His target, Black Wing, had no idea what was about to happen. Krieg watched as his knuckles turned white with his death grip on the weapon.

Black Wing launched the take over, every griffon did their job perfectly and to the letter. The plan went without a hitch. That is until he heard the psycho's foot step. Chills ran up his spine, Black Wing over heard the royal guards speak about Krieg. Terror was in the very least the word that discribed what the griffon commander felt.

"I know what I have become... I am the inside of this world... I taste the gore, and I smell the crying... AND I WANT MORE! I want to bathe in your flesh, I want to savor your fear. I wanna live inside a castle built of your agony, AND I WANT TO CRUMBLE IT WITH AN AXE TO YOUR CAROTID ARTERY!" Krieg roared triumphantly. His axe blade spinning wildly. "Over here, my sweet meats, your prince of justice and genocide has something to say: Gone are the days of the tentacle and the age of the gods and mercy is far away... We are the fighters of the middle, the second act in the three-part MEAT play, AND I WILL WIN BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR!"

"Oh sweet Celestia's flank! He's Here!" Black Wing squealed

"Oh shit it's HIM!?" Black Wing cried, throwing himself into the air. Black Wing could only watch as the scene before him unfolded.

The axe blade spun rapidly, most of the griffons were terrified of the monster whom stood before them. For all the silence that was present, a voice cried out from princess Twilight. "Krieg! Help us!"

Without a second thought Krieg swung the weapon hard into the skull of the first griffon, the blade effectively turning the brain into muck. "I'm here to shank and smile!" Krieg roared with fury and what could be said was a happy tone.

"Get him you morons!" Black Wing commanded to his lackies. Just to provide Krieg with a distraction.

"Pitiful people prepare, plead plentifully plentiful platitude phenomenal patriot pounds, poundingly perverse puppets pulping, pleasantly, putrid pasties." Krieg cried out overjoyed with the slaughter before his very axe. "You're gonna scream, just like she did; open mouth, open heart, blood and noise forever piercing my skull, poisoning me with its psychopathic purple liquid. We watched it all, and felt the knife split down the middle... CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" His axe sailed through the air with deadly accuracy, the griffon cowering didn't have a chance. Twilight and the others cringed with Krieg ripped out the ghastly tool of murder with a sickening "POP". Rainbow Dash tried to hold down her vomit. She failed.

Fluttershy fainted the moment Krieg roared his war cry. Rarity's eyes filled with tears as the blood hit her dress she worked on for hours, then promptly passed out. Krieg's motions were as fluid as a blood river in the mountains of flesh. His axe was no longer a weapon but an instrument of battle as the psycho slashed his way across the marble flooring. Many griffons couldn't escape the carnage. Those unfortunate enough to get out of the way were slaughtered by the axe wielding maniac, Krieg revealed in the blood fountains of dead griffons. To the horrifide mane six, Krieg waltzed through the carnage like a bird through the air. Each griffon that stood before the might of the psycho fell, his axe smashing through corpses and tables. One of the turn tables caved in half completely, the dj coward in the corner. Krieg turned to face our young heroines, with a few steps he was directly if front of them.

With a smooth downward motion, he was kneeling to stare at the ponies. Fluttershy leaped onto the psycho. She hugged him as tightly as she possibly could, to which the psycho hugged her back. Maybe a little to tightly because she made a cute squeaking noise.

'You saved them all, we did it you big lug'. The inner Krieg smiled. 'Well you do deserve an award.' As hugs and dawwwwws were given something unexpected happened, Black Wing descended, taking Fluttershy with him.

"I'll show you what a badass is!" Krieg roared with his maniacal laughter. His gaze held true as he watched the griffon fly away. The griffon flew as fast as his wings would go, Krieg picked up his pace.

The window depicting the mane six defeating Nightmare Moon was shattered by the full force of Krieg. Leaping out in full faith of meat, Krieg landed on Blueblood's head. (He needed to die.)

Black Wing was cornered now the psycho was hot on his heels, his wings were exhausted. He held on the the butter yellow pony for dear life as the psycho approached, axe smashing into concrete. The griffon did the one thing that none should ever do... he harmed poor little Fluttershy. Once the drop of blood hit the floor everypony watching could swear the air grew colder. Krieg threw his axe as hard as he could into the wall.

"I'm gonna kill you all, I'm gonna kill your friends and your family, I'm gonna track down your grandparents and turn them inside-out, nobody can stop the blood train that will turn your loved ones into a red splatter across the red tracks of humanity!" Krieg yelled with the rage of one thousand suns, his hands wrapped around the shaking griffon. Black Wing began to cry. Krieg went full born rampage using only his fists, a beating is an understatement. Krieg's fist smashed the skull of Black Wing, killing him instantly. But no Krieg wasn't finished he destroyed the griffon's body with total disregard to respecting the dead. Over and over his fists crashed into the body like tidal waves on a beach. The other watched in pure terror as the beast was released with a ferocity that only dragon could possibly hope to match.

A lone voice called out of the on lookers. The siren, Maya.

"Krieg its over.... you got him... its okay now. Fluttershy is safe."

Tea party

"Krieg, I want to thank you for saving Fluttershy from that griffon... even if you did massacre them and nearly gave Fluttershy an heart attack." Celestia said in a sing song voice. "I'm truly in your debt."

"NIPPLE SALADS!" Krieg shouted in triumph. Maya giggled as Krieg shouted his ridiculous rants. Krieg sat across from the equestrian princesses, their beauty matched only with Maya's.

"And as a show of my gratitude you and your friends may have everything within the "vault" as a gift." Celestia smiled warmly at the vault hunters. Her eyes still red and puffy after she cried with joy of Fluttershy's safe rescue. It may have only been a few hours since Krieg's big triumphant return and hailed as a hero. But already Canterlot was ablaze with the new hero in it's midst. Many ponies gave praise to Krieg. (You know because he saved them). "I cannot thank you enough for what you did today."

"Humping skags in out house!" Krieg proclaimed in his standard of speaking. Salvador chuckled at the ludicrously funny statement. Axton humfped in hatred at all the tears and joy in the room.

"Excuse me?" A voice called out. It was the disc jockey from the Gala. "My name is Shadow Magic and I was wondering if your friend here could pay for-"

Gaige descended upon Shadow like a hawk gripping him with her robotic enhanced arm, gently stroking his mane. "Maya can we please please please please please please keep him!? I promise to take care of him and feed him and play with him and give him baths and snuggle with him when I go to sleep!!"

"Gaige please set him down." Maya said with giggle as Shadow began to be hugged violently. But with a rather loud and unnecessary groan Gaige set the colt down, still patting his head.

"As I was saying could your friend pay for the damages he did to my poor turn table?" He pointed a hoof dangerously at Krieg, who still rambled on about something or another. Shadow turned to see every pony inside and every vault hunter. Twilight Sparkle caught his full attention when his gaze fell upon her. "And I gotta say, you are one beautiful mare."

"Who's ready to flay some scalps?!" Krieg finally roared turning around.

...

Hyperion's moon base slowly drifted towards an unknown destination, on board though things were getting out of control. The scientists were preparing for another failure, even though they had gathered for a success. The New-U respawn station hummed to life and began to whir about as it processed the information.

"Annnnddd RESPAWN!" It called out to no one. It began to digitally reconstruct the body. Slowly and surely a man became more apparent to see. His body grew dense and whole with every second. Finally he stood upright in all his handsome glory.

"Jack's back bitches! And oh right, Blake I need a goddamn coffee NOW!" Handsome Jack commanded his lackys and co workers. "Where are those damn child murderers? Are they still on Pandora?"

Blake scrambled back with a full coffee mug. "Umm sorry sir, after you were killed, the vault hunters left Pandora and they went in two different groups off planet."

"WHAT?! THEY GOT OFF PANDORA? TELL ME WHERE THOSE SHIPS WENT! I want those child murderers dead yesterday, is that understood?" Jack rage in his seat that he claimed as his own. A group of scientists ran to and fro, each searching for any documents about the shuttles that left the planet.

"Uh here sir! The two that left went to separate ways. The "wanderlust" headed to the alpha sector of quadrant three-twenty four. And the "heavy hitter" was seen moving to the omaga sector of quadrant five-thirty three." One guy who no one care about said aloud.

"Send the base to the second one. We're bound to get some of these asses, like that douchbag of a commando Axton." Handsome Jack mused to himself with a hearty chuckle.

"Sir we found the vault hunters, one of our cameras caught them boarding the "heavy hitter"-" Was all the other random guy could say before hot coffee was spit directly into his face.

"Then what the hell are we still doing here?! Let hit them hard and hit them fast, like I did with ol balloon tits." Jack roared as his hand smashed a other guy in their face.

Author's Note

Sorry about having this chapter held back so long but Diaries of a Madman half me in a trance and well I'm back! Don't hate me or hate me either way it don't matter.

no seriously the hell am i doing?

Ha I win Celestia! You as much a monster as I am.

I am not! I couldn't have possibly known Sombra would do that.

I win.

Argh story made of blood, meat and CAKE!

Goddamn it. Yes Krieg there's cake have some of Celestia's she doesn't need any more, they go right to her ass.

You're a foul little man. You know that don't you?

Yes I know. Though I feel bad.

Why is that?

Well just I haven't put any new chapters for a while and everyone and everypony wants to know what happens next. I just been in a weird month. Having my birthday, being twenty and shit like that.

Well I remember when I was twenty. Discord was such an asshole. Luna went on the rag, it was bad. I haven't "been" with any stallion ever...

Wait a minute! You're a virgin hahahahahahahaga oh that's rich. Oh shit your serious.... um well I could help you if you want.... but off the record I always wanted to bone an alicorn.

Really? You'd do "that" with me? Well at least make me feel like a princess and not one of those cheap whores you sleep with.

Have you been spying on me? Wow I thought I had horrible stalkers before... guess you take the Cake on this one. Oh come that was funny! Wait what's with the riding crop? Oh god what have I agreed to.

Author's Note

Sorry for being a lazy fuck guys and girls, don't don't lynch me for this chapter. Please?

The story continued? huh?

Krieg sat with his hands in a muffin, tearing off a new piece to eat. Maya sat just off to his side to keep an eye on the psycho who hadn't said one off thing yet.

Axton fiddled with his turret, wiping away all grime out of the barrel to ensure maximum effectiveness.

Zero, well he does what he always does. (Don't ask me what that is, I never played as him). Just doing assassin things was what he does.

Gaige kept petting Rainbow Dash while making baby noises, Celestia shook her head at the mechromancer's actions while failing to surpress her laughter for Dash's discomfort.

"So is this going to as awkward walking in on Moxxi trying to bathe Scooter." Axton broke the silence with a very vivid image. "Let's just say it. As much as I hate to admit it, Krieg saved both us and these damn ponies."

"What do you have against ponies? Look they're just so cute!" Gaige shot back.

"Please everyone just calm down, yes Krieg did save us from a potential crisis. But he hasn't said a word so we don't know what he's thinking, Krieg would you please say something?" Celestia asked the massive psycho who still was eating the muffin.

His eye glanced upwards, back to the muffin. It was absolutely strange, normally he would have said something about meat or blood.

"Ride the tiger! Pet the green doggy but never ever ever flash a sassy eye at the good doctor!" And back to normal. Yup everything was A-okay, oh and Handsome Jack was on his way, but they didn't know yet! (No seriously I tried to tell them, but it was always "nope we killed him" so I say back "Who's telling the story?" Whoops getting ahead of myself).

"So we know there's a vault here because someone decided to read it upside down." Maya turned her gaze to the commando.

"Wasn't my fault, no one bothered to check it either so I'm not at complete dick." Axton retorted like a complete prick.

"Wait, what's a vault?" Came the voice of Luna rang from the other side of the table.

"Alright kiddies, gather 'round old uncle Axton and he'll tell you the tale of the vaults." Axton smiled as the center of attention.

"Oh God, Uncle Axton? Oh I get it like uncle handies right?" Salvador exploded with laughter from his own joke.

"I'm not a sick perv!"

"Tell that to Elle, maybe we should tell her how you hadn't "had" company for a long time and touched her boob."

"You guys SWORE never to speak of that!"

"Well we did, and you're an ass. So quit blushing and tell the damn story!" Gaige added with a giggle-snort.

"Fine, alrighty on the planet of Pandora there were rumors of this grand vault that held so much loot that hundreds flocked to find it. Many of those guys became bandits or assholes either way is fine, they ruled the untamed wilderness of the borderlands. Until one day four very kickass vault hunters landed. Their names were Mordecai, Lilith, Brick, and Roland. These guys were kicking so much ass that they expected the vault to be filled to the brim with loot, but no it wasn't. Instead it held a hentai monster inside!"

"Wait wait wait, a hentai monster?"

"Yeah you know tenticals and shit, very bad for Japanese high school girls? Anyway they fought the monster without being molested by its long and wow I have been watching hentai way too much..."

Maya spoke up to continue.

"They killed the creature inside to find that the vault held no loot for them, so they decided to live their lives. Until Handsome Jack came to Pandora."

"Who's Handsome Jack?" Luna asked honestly.

"A jackass, but he claimed to have killed the monster of the vault. He began to civilize Pandora, but what he really was doing was killing anything and everything who dared to stand in his way. He sought another vault with even greater promise of loot. The Warrior. Handsome Jack wanted to use it to convert the rest of Pandora, but the previous vault hunters stood against him. Handsome Jack put out adds that he needed vault hunters to help him with promises to share what was inside, instead he killed God knows how many people. We were the last ones who made it to the train with his nasty surprise on board. After failing to kill us Handsome Jack put a large bounty on each of our heads for our capture. Well we fought back, blew up his bots and soldiers away."

"Kill kill kill! Shining soul stabbers to crack the rib cages of the numbers, watch the second act of a three part play of meat. And I will win best supporting actor!"

"Yes Krieg, you did."

"Anyway the vault held a massive creature-"

"We blew its freaking head off!"

"We did Salvador."

"But there were no-"

"Hookers! Damn it no babes, but holy hell were there guns."

"And I'm done telling the story."

Maya stood with her arms crossed, glaring at the commando.

Author's Note

Short chapter I know. Kick me in the balls! I gotta settle back in alright? Thanks again!

Oh Crap...

The world seemed so small aboard the Hyperion space station, nothing would stand in Jack's way this time. Through the window he glared down at the surface with a bag of pretzels.

"Seriously?! Why can't anybody grab a good bag of snacks?! Blake! What do we know about this planet?" Jack asked.

"Well sir it is populated by sentient Ponies..." Blake stated with a little apprehension. "Talking, civilization, medical marijuana, bars, and a government. The whole works."

The room suddenly filled with laughter from the cruel man, who fell out of his chair.

"Wait wait wait wait wait! Hahaha, they smoke weed? Oh my God hahaha! How? They have hooves not fingers!" Handsome Jack roared on the floor.

"It seems they have magic."

"Hahahahahaha oh of course they would they're fucking ponies! Hahahahahahaha oh oh my sides hurt."

"They also have to leaders who can move celestial bodies sir."

"Stop stop stop, I don't want to die laughing!"

"Always never listens." Blake muttered.

"I... I think I'm good. Just hahahahaha they smoke good herb!"

"Sir, they also have a way to show what their special talents are."

"Okay okay okay, I'm done." Jack took in air for his lungs. "So what's the deal with talents?"

"They're called Cutie Marks-"

"Hahahahahahaha hahahahahaha hehehehehe hahaha oww my sides. Even the boys have Cutie Marks? Oh God hahahahahaha."

"Sir that might be a problem! What if those vault hunters won them to their side?! We could be looking at a hostile planet!"

"Yeah filled with PONIES! Hahahahaha." Blake just stood silently, waiting for Jack to stop giggling like a madman. (Too late for that, dontcha think?)

"Uh just observe the planet until we find those dicks." Handsome Jack stayed close to his desk for support if he should start laughing again.

Celestia watched Krieg play tag with a small group of foals, few times did she have to worry as the massive man grabbed a small filly or colt. But it usually ended with the psycho petting one of the children. Smiling she turned to Maya who stood in the doorway.

"Well at least he is being gentle with them." The solar goddess stated with her usual calm sense.

"I said it once and I'll say it again, he's a big softie once he likes you. Unlike Axton." Maya chuckled.

"I heard that."

"Bitch, moan, and repeat." Gaige laughed.

"Anyways, well Celestia it was fun out here but I guess we should head back to Ponyvile. Because someone always whines about his guns!"

Axton stood quickly to retort his side of the story, but an angry Salvador made him think otherwise.

"Hey this is the best break I've ever had púto, yet you had to ruin it by opening your mouth! So no more talking, or ima shove my foot up your ass!" Salvador growled.

"Promise to wiggle your toes?" Axton replied with a coy grin.

"Sometimes I have doubts about you amigo."

"Will anypony shut Axton up?! I can hear him bitching all the way up in my room!" Luna's voice echoed throughout the halls.

"Luna! Such foul language in the Royal Canterlot voice? Shame." Celestia called back. No response came the the night princess.

As fate would have it Krieg, (way down on the ground floor), began his trek towards the group. Not caring of the mud (I hope it's mud) he splattered everywhere he walked.

The axe that hung on his belt slipped an inch, causing the blade to slice open a gash on his right leg. The pain did nothing other than anger the monster that was held under control, said control that was slowly ebbing away at this point.

A maid who saw the large man coming noticed the blood dripping onto the floor incredibly fast, as Krieg came to stop the blood began to pool. She could only watch in horror as the floor she cleaned an hour ago was covered in filth again.

"Excuse me? Uh are you hurt sir?" She asked softly.

Krieg's inner voice spoke to calm the raging force that his body was, all the while leaving the mare terrified as the psycho glared down at her.

"If you hurt this innocent nothing will stop me from running that axe so far into your skull." Inner Krieg warned the beast.

"Raghn GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" The body spoke aloud spooking the mare into wetting herself. Krieg shuffled on with a lovely crimson trail behind. Onwards he trudged through the halls going left, right, right, right, right, left, left, right, and down. His head was now on a swivel as he tried to find the exit, but alas none were to be seen.

"So girls are we ready to go back?" Twilight asked a little peeved Rarity packed for a month's visit like always.

"Yeah, me and AJ have been waiting for like two hours!" Griped an annoyed Rainbow Dash.

"Ya ah've been wait'n for as long as ah could be this is ridiculous."

"Well excuse me for making sure everything was put away properly, that includes EVERYPONY's bags."

"Um if we could stop arguing that would be great, if that's okay with everypony." Fluttershy quiped. "Wait has anypony seen Krieg?"

"He's down in the gardens playing with foals." Pinkie exclaimed as she shot out from the bathroom toilet. (Don't look at me, she's that random).

"Uh hate to burst every pony's bubble but he's not there anymore." Rainbow Dash said as her wings held her aloft over the balcony.

"Great now we have to find him. At least the train doesn't arrive for another hour."

"Sir!"

"Yes Blake?"

"Our sensors have found the psycho's location!"

Handsome Jack fell off his chair with a surprised look plastered on his mask. Memories flooded back in force about the monster he ordered to be made, the axe that caught him in his chest the first time he died.

"Sir, are you alright?" Blake questioned.

"Yeah yeah, I'm good... Okay so he is down there, that is... actually that could work. Send down the Badass Loaders."

"Yes sir."

"Where are they keeping the meat?" Krieg drawled to no one. The psycho still wandered around the castle hallways with no way of knowing where he was. But this mattered little to the behemoth of a man, no he wanted to kill.

The urge was becoming unbearable anymore, all the while the inner Krieg held fast to control the blood lust.

A new sound reached his ears, the sound of something very heavy falling very quickly. Krieg turned to the nearest window in the hall to see Badass Loaders coming straight down into Canterlot. The window shattered as the psycho threw himself outside.

"It was really nice for you too have us here Celestia, even though ya know the whole party fiasco."

"Oh it was no problem Maya, I really did enjoy your-"

The sounds of a window shatter caught every ones attention, then the a loud crash and the sound of many window break could be heard. Maya quickly got to her feet, helping up Celestia in the process. She ran to the balcony to find many Hyperion Loaders standing upright with their weapons trained on Krieg.

"Well shit!"

Author's Note

Well this looks like a job for me... oh well nevermind. Krieg you got this!

Damn it

The bullets flew in a lead rain that covered nearly every angle and cross sections, Hyperion loaders had surrounded the psycho's position with vigor pre-programmed to kill with extreme prejudice. Krieg tried to find a way around this predicament repeatedly, jumping above was met with cold steel fist and diving below was halted by flame. Mechanical laughter resonated around the vault hunter as the wall of metal closed in.

"Krieg! Hit the deck!" The heavenly voice of Maya came from the palace with a Derp Nukem, her powers activated giving her the appearance of an angelic warrior. The lobbed from the barrel with enough speed for the loaders to turn to this new threat, only to realize their mistake.

A quarter of the mechs dropped by the force of the explosion, soon the courtyard became a new battlefield.

One after another the loaders dropped due to being shot too many times to function properly, all but the Badass loader. It stepped forward defiantly as it now faced two combatants who were rising from the fires like gods.

"Krieg you can have this one if you want."

"Raghaahaha we can play hopscotch with flowers in bloody mustard pies!" Krieg charged forward with buzz axe spinning like a wildfire, his feet lifting his form off the ground at top speed... only to be swatted back down upon the ground with a resonated thumping as he tumbled across the walkways. The loader opened it's guns upon the path to kill the deranged man with everything it had, missiles shooting from the canister on it's back targeting the siren.

Above the battle the others stood in awe of the carnage of the spectacle before them, vault hunter and pony alike watched as two friends fight against an enemy that had only one goal: killing. They watched as the loader kicked Krieg across the courtyard with enough force to shatter bricks, turn historical monuments to rubble. The group couldn't tear their eyes away from the scene as the loader unloaded it's firepower onto Maya's position with no care of innocent lives that may have been caught in the blast.

"Damn it, how does that thing shrug off rockets?" Gaige asked as she prepared her weapons, Death trap at the ready.

"No idea but I'm not gonna sit here and wait for it to get my happy ass. Let's kill that bitch!" Axton roared as he plummeted below.

The mane six and princesses stood in shock as two others joined the fray of brutal combat.

Below the battle raged even harder as the loader now had two more to deal with, after analyzing the odds the loader self destructed.

"Couldn't handle all this piece of man huh!? Fucking scrap heaps, yo you two okay?" Axton shouted to Maya and Krieg, the former holding the latter's near broken form in her lap. "Shit man you ain't looking so hot, here I got one of them med needles in my satchel."

Maya injected the red liquid into the psycho's arm hoping that things wouldn't get any worse, but like all sickness it usually gets a lot worse. (Spoilers! Handsome Jack is alive! Oh wait you knew that... Tacos on tacos!) A chorus of hooves pounding the ground drew closer to the group as the sky began to darken.

A thunderous boom echoed throughout the city as something new fell from the sky. A massive constructor landed, it's red eye penetrating the souls who dared to look back. Digital contrsutrucs filled the surrounding area as a new voice came from the constructor's speakers, a voice the vault hunters knew all to well.

"Hey there bandits, long time no see. Maya you're looking well." The speakers boomed.

"Ahhh fuck! We killed you Jack, we shot you in the face!" Axton growled, slowly aiming the sights onto the weak spot of the bot.

"Hey one dimensional asshole, shut up. Listen we started today on the wrong foot, how about we start over? I, Handsome Jack, will kill you for what you've done back on that backwater planet so we're going to do the same song and dance again... but I reprogrammed the respawners. So if you die you're dead!" Jack's voice carried over the city. "Oh and I brought a few friends with me too."

"Who would they be?!" Gaige shouted from her perch.

"Oh you know Nisha, Wilhelm, and FR4G-TP. They got upgraded you filthy bandits, so have fun dying!" The speakers shut off and the constructor shot off into the skyline.

Maya and Axton stole a glance of concern at each other, the stakes were raised by a huge margin now.

"SHIT MAN, I've only begin to relax and that púto comes back from the dead?! I'd ask what's next but I'm on a world with frigging talking ponies." Shouted the Gunzercker.

Handsome Jack stood in his office quietly as a mouse, eyes glued to the planet below. CEO or not, he planned for many situations such as this long in advance, did not plan for talking ponies. They were an unexpected variable in this equation.

"Blake, send Wilhelm and Nisha to my office." Handsome Jack turned to the now shaking man who rarely saw the look in Jack's eyes, the look of mass murder was ecthed in those eyes.

"Right away sir, will that be all?"

"Prep the prototype."

Blake nodded weakly to his superior before exiting the office, as the door opened the young assistant was forced down by a considerable amount of force. Blake stared up to the new and improved Wilhelm stomped over him, followed by Nisha and FR4G-TP.

"Whoa you look like you need a party Blake." The FR4G-TP started before being smacked by the metal left hand of Wilhelm.

"Shut up."

"So Jack what's going on?" Nisha asked as she joined her boyfriend watching the blue ball in space.

"Nisha you remember the six vault hunters that killed you? Right now they're down on that rock laughing at us, but I believe we should blow them up until they're nothing but particles." Jack smiled with the promise vengeance coming. "We have a perfect opportunity here for us, those dicks are just right for the taking."

"I want that assassin to be crushed under my boots!" Wilhelm shouted to emphasize his point of revenge. "All of them need to die!"

"Then I can teabag all their corpses!" The room went silent after FR4G-TP's outburst, followed by a collection of facepalming. (Even I facepalmed but whatever that's a CL4T-TP for you.)

Wilhelm turned to the small robot snarling.

"Shut the fuck up you annoying piece of tin or I'll use you for spare parts!"

"Wilhelm, love the attitude but save it for the vault hunters. Besides I've got some great ideas for those asshats."

Author's Note

That's right it's back!

Guess

"Who was he?!" Twilight asked for the dozenth time, her interest peaked by this new human. "Was that the "Handsome Jack" you keep talking about? Also why does he hate you guys so much?"

"That sweetheart was Handsome Jack... he believes that we're nothing more than bandits. We also kinda killed his only daughter... so that might add to the hate, I think." Axton began, his tone losing that cocky vibe everyone was so used to. "When we were hired to find the second vault on Pandora, it was Handsome Jack who brought us with the lure of splitting the loot inside. Instead we were nearly killed on the train that was taking us to Opportunity by a bomb he planted. At first we just saw him as a prick who ran the show but as we got closer to the vault his real story became clear... we knew only so much."

"What did you learn?" Came Celestia's voice, her eyes betraying the calm facial features.

"He's a pyscho worse than our own, he killed so many people to get where he is now. We learned that he murdered his wife, trapped his own daughter and used her to lure the previous vault hunters to Pandora for the vaults." Maya spoke up, her words painting Handsome Jack into the ponies mind's. Their expressions showed everything the vault hunters what they needed to know. "He takes pleasure in suffering of others like the madman he is."

Krieg snarled his frustration over his true tormentor. Fluttershy noticed his tension rising, her quick action calmed the rage inside. (With a hug! Get your minds out of the gutter!)

"Wow he sounds worse than some of the baddies we faced, yeah they were bad but they didn't kill anypony." Rainbow Dash commented.

"He's one of the worst guys ever to be born, yet still around... and he's brought friends just fucking fantastic! So damn gay." Said our lovable Axton. "Hey Gaige what are you doing?"

"Sorry guys but bad news. Jack has more than just loaders this time around." The Mecromancer sighed as she pulled out a metal cylinder from her pocket. "On this is a data file that has a few details of something worse than our standard bots. One of the details I've worked out is living weaponry that can be used like the warrior, but a more compact design that wields most of the same power."

"Shit."

"Well now that just sucks!"

Axton and Salvador both took in a breath of air, before shouting like maniacs. Using profanities ponies should never hear. (Like Justin Bieber or Carrot Top, the actor not the pony.)

Handsome Jack looked over the photos of each city on the planet below, few were nothing more than just a few homes along a road. That wasn't what he searched for, no he was surveying the planet's military might. Granted the station was an endless factory to spew forth bots but that doesn't work if your enemy has a means to overcome them.

The prototype would make sure everything would go off without a hitch once the game had been set in motion.

"Wilhelm, I want you to destroy this city called Manehattan... seriously? What's with all the horse puns? Anyway hit this place hard and fast... heh hard and fast, blast everything!" Jack smiled wickedly as Wilhelm nodded back with his own savage grin. "Awesome now I can play that game everyone's telling me about, it's called drop the heavy object on a random pony. Hmmm oh that one looks like he needs a crate of gears, bombs away."

"Hey Jack, what about the other vault hunters? You know that chick who punched the vault symbol onto your face."

"Oh don't worry I got very special plans for them."

Celestia watched the vault hunters as they drew up plans of any possibilities of attack from Hyperion forces, her worries were focused on her subjects who couldn't defend themselves from these invaders. The children and the older ponies would be easy targets for the loaders to kill.

"My P-princess Manehattan has come under attack." Glazed Beauty said shaking Celestia out of her thoughts.

"Oh no, vault hunters! Handsome Jack has launched a attack on our largest city, Manehattan. I will send you there." The solar princess worried voice informed the vault hunters that they needed to help repel the invasion. "Please contact me once you've secured the city, good luck."

In a flash all six bipeds were gone.

"Get out of there or I'll bring this entire building down on you!" Wilhelm barked to the few ponies who tried to hide from the fearsome enforcer. Slowly they came out in a single file line.

"The Princesses won't let you get away with this." One spoke courageously, she jumped out of line to emphasize her point. Her face was met with a massive boot.

"I'm looking forward to it. Anyone else want to try and speak? Good." Wilhelm turned to his battalion of loaders. "Alright take these things to the dropship, Jack wants some new test subjects."

"Understood!" Several loaders stepped up to the group with guns at the ready.

(Insert obligatory warping effect. Hey just imagine the intro to Dr Who. What?! I like that show! Fine Celestia I'll tell the damned story!)

Right before Wilhelm were the six vault hunters that killed him, rage long since held back flashed across the enforcer's face. In an istant he unholstered his rifle and took aim.

The shot could be heard for miles around.

The bounced off Maya's shield she quickly put around the group. The six vault hunters watched as Wilhelm brought the Vengeance Canon and took aim. Thinking very quickly Axton threw his turrets out giving the vault hunters some covering fire, the rounds of the mounted gun forced back Wilhelm to find his own cover.

From the small ruins from a library Maya and Zero took up sniper potions while Salvador and Gaige opened fire on the enforcer's cover, Axton and Krieg began to sneak closer.

"We killed you once we can kill you again!" Salvador roared as he fired his assult rifles, chipping away the concrete.

"That's because Jack poisoned me to make the fight easier for you to get that power core to Sanctuary, but now? I'm going to enjoy making you pay." Wilhelm retorted as he sent out Wolf and Saint. Wolf sped through the air blasting corrosive bolts and missiles towards the library with vigor.

Salvador jumped to avoid the highly effective rounds being sent his way, only to be met with a very pissed off Wilhelm.

"Hi." Gaige shouted from her perch, Deathtrap charging up it's infamous stare.

"Oh yeah?" The Vengeance Canon again opened fire this time aimed above the Mecromancer. A harsh cracking sound resonated around the battle as the roof caved in. "Now, midget where were we?"

Salvador felt the metal hand wrap around his head with the unnaturally strong grip. Wilhelm chucked the Gunzercker into a lamp post with enough force to shatter the wooden pole. Salvador moved slowly to cope with the pain he felt in his head all the while Wilhelm was right over him.

"Come here you little shit, we got a trip to take."

The six Elements of Harmony and the two princesses of night and day couldn't help but feel worried as combat loaders surrounded them, along with two others.

A small golden brown robot that kept shouting about wubs and dropping the bass and a slender human female who held a sinister air about her stood above them.

"Boy oh boy, Handsome Jack will really give us a reward for getting you guys! But don't worry about the mind crippling torture that you'll soon experience, focus on the fun we'll have once we're all on the same side!" FR4G-TP spoke in it's unusually happy-go-lucky tone even when speaking about horrible things.

"Shut up or I'll make sure you won't see tomorrow."

Author's Note

And boom goes the dynamite

The story so far....

The vault hunters had done it. They killed Handsome Jack blew up the Warrior and saved Pandora. And now they have a map to vaults on other worlds. Well those vaults were as good as opened now. The six were now on their way to one of the newest vault on a unnamed planet. Their adventures here would be fun, and by fun I mean they would be killing new creatures and meeting new people.... how wrong they'd be.

.............

Krieg sat by himself fiddling with his buzz saw ax, eyeing the others while they weren't paying attention. His inner voice keeping him in line, but even then Krieg strained to stay in check. Gaige on the other hand was talking to the other vault hunters, already being really friendly to the commando. Salvador muttered to himself, Maya and Zero both compared weapons. Axton tried to keep the little mechromancer away and dodging her advances, until he noticed Krieg staring him down.

"You got some beef with me or what psycho?"

"You stink of blood."

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"Why aren't my fingers in your eye sockets?"

Maya noticed the scene and how it could get worse, she stood between them. Her gaze became cold unlike her motherly warmth before. Krieg towered over her, his left eye showing nothing but hate to Axton. Zero stood with Maya as did Salvador. Krieg's inner voice telling him to back down finally won out against the violent urges. They all knew full and well what the psycho was willing to do, he wasn't one to take words into consideration. One fight avoided a lot to go. Hyperion must have really screwed with Krieg to make him what he is today, a walking death machine. The mechromancer continued to flirt, she didn't really have much to worry about as long as Deathtrap could be out to play. Gaige noticed a planet off to the side on the map. Quickly formulated a plan with the other vault hunters, to drop Krieg on this planet. Or they could face the possibility of being killed by the psycho. The choice was obvious. They changed course to land on this new planet. Krieg was none never the wiser, he still stared at the commando with hate.

........

Once in orbit above the planet for Krieg, they decided just kick his ass over a river or a lake. Well as fate would have it, the lake was first. With this plan in motion and the lake getting closer, they lured the insane bandit out. Finally Axton kicked the psycho as hard as possible. Krieg screamed as he fell, it wasn't a scream of terror but of pure joy. The water surrounded him like a blanket, then darkness over came his senses.

what the hell am i doing?

Hello once again those whom have favorited "My Little Psycho: Friendship is Pain". Its your friend Raven Shadow and I have to say... WHAT THE FUCK AM IN DOING WRONG TWILIGHT?

Well for one you swear to much. Just a tip Raven tone it down.

Really Twilight? Busting my balls here, busting my balls. Um Celestia anything from your part?

Yes you made me out to be a almost sob story if I recall correctly. And also you're not very kind to some of my sister's and my subjects. Like Rainbow Dash. What is it that sets you off about her?

Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Uh Rainbow Dash hehehe w-whats up? Please don't hit me.

What's this I here about you have a problem with me?!

Nothing! What with the rope?

We're gonna get you ta write another chapter fer fic we've star in and all, but ya jus been to lazy! There are fans who jus want to read more of yer story.

Okay you got me there but here's a question for you! If you get this right I will upload a new chapter does that sound like a deal?

Yes I think those are very agreeable terms, does anypony disagree?

Alright... my question is why is King Sombra dead or do you even know if he is dead. We know he could regenerate his horn, and the horn of a uincorn is the channel for their horn. So I know his horn is still intact, so can and will he regenerate his body from his horn. And don't you dare try to find his horn! He never wanted crystalline minerals. He wanted Krystal... the name of the only one who loved him... would you ponies be so cruel to keep him from the purest form of love? Or will you not be as merciful as you claim and torture his poor, twisted soul?

Alright

Hey guys what is up, its Raven Shadow with very exciting news! But I'm going let my new special friend elaborate about it... oh Celestia <3

Oh shut up. We had sex once and you cried.

What! Slander!

You cried. Anyway after that I had a very long talk with Raven about this story, he has agreed to continue it on the condition of we all take a moment to remember Handsome Jack.

Hey he was funny!

As well as very sarcastic, oh also being a loud mouth pompus ass! Oh no that's just you Raven.

Says the thousand year old virgin. Oh wait I took that V-card! And boom goes the dynamite.

For the love of God will you two give it a rest! Look the readers don't want to know about yours guys' love life! God no one cares! Plus everyone wants to see the great Axton kick some ass!

Riiiiiiight.

Gotta agree with Raven here, they're here to see Krieg.

They love to see meat go BOOM! Like my comb!