A Very Minty Hearth's Warming Eve

Chapters

A Float and a Wish
The Princess and the Minty
The Scouring of Ponyville

A Float and a Wish

A Very Minty Hearth's Warming Eve
or
King Sombra and the Runaway Rainbow

The first rainbow…? Are you sure?

Well… the First Rainbow wasn’t a pretty thing in the sky, darlings, but a terrible weapon. This was a very long time ago, you see, before our darling Ponyville itself. In those days, there were all sorts of just dreadful monstrosities in Equestria, monsters with terrible names and worse breath. Truly, darlings, we live in the golden age of ponies, even though there do seem to be so few of us still around! I can’t think of a single calamity that has befallen us, aside from your little accident at our last Winter Wishes Festival, darling.

The ponies back then were in almost constant danger, however! Titans and giant bees and big mountainous dogs and icky purple lakes and oh, I shouldn’t go on. You wouldn’t believe me, darlings, and even if you did, it’s simply too dreadful to talk about! But those ponies had the First Rainbow, and they used it to defend themselves. Nowadays a rainbow is just a beautiful collection of simply darling colors… not that I’m complaining, darlings! But the First Rainbow was a collection of the very best parts of the ponies who made it, and the ponies who made it were the very best ponies themselves. There was this one white pony, for example, named Surprise, and she gave the First Rainbow laughter. Really, I think Surprise would fit in quite well in our little Ponyville today, except of course she had wings.

Oh, yes, wings, darlings! Didn’t I say already? Not only was Equestria so much scarier back then, we ponies had various little touches of our own, to make us readier for battle! Some of us could fly, and we called them flutter ponies, or later pegasus ponies when their wings became less strange-looking. And others had horns – yes, on the tops of their heads! – that they could use to cast magic spells, and those were called unicorn ponies. Haven’t you heard Kimono talk about them? Oh, but darlings, she does sound so nostalgic all the time…

What?

Well… no, darlings, I can’t say that I do. We’re happy now, aren’t we? And small wonder… can you really imagine those ponies of old having time for a Friendship Ball, for instance, or a Princess Coronation? And think how much time I’ve had to put into making sure my house is the most rainbowy, rainbow-covered, rainbowtacular house of them all! I couldn’t have done that if we were constantly under attack by monsters, and I’m quite sure the monsters were why our ancestors had such strange deformities. So no, I’m quite happy to live a normal life here in Ponyville, with no wings or horns to worry about.

Oh, but the First Rainbow, darlings! They stopped using it eventually, you see. I think the monsters had finally died down – or died off? – and they wished to live normal lives again. So the Rainbow Ponies – yes, darlings, another group! – took the First Rainbow, and they sent it far into the heavens to shield the entire earth. One end was nestled in the sun, and the other in the moon, and now the sun and the moon keep the First Rainbow to themselves while we get to enjoy our nice proper rainbows, full of all the colors of… the colors of… well, all the colors of the rainbow, darlings! Purple as the sunset, and blue as the sky, and green as the grass, and yellow as the butterflies, and orange as the fire, and red as… as your jamboree ladybugs, darling! Haha!

Yes, of course, not the first rainbow of the season, no. That’s only pink and purple and blue and yellow. But every last darling rainbow after that is just so sumptuously colorful and perfect!

No, I’m afraid I don’t know why the first rainbow of each season is different, darlings. Perhaps… perhaps there are some things we’re not supposed to know about the world?

Really, darlings, why this sudden fascination in our history? So much of it is so dreadfully disturbing, and the Rainbow Celebration is supposed to be a time of joy and wonder!

One sunny morning in early spring, three little ponies stood on an ordinary street in Ponyville, talking energetically. One had an all-blue coat, adorned with the symbol of a perfect rainbow stretching between two full, puffy clouds. Her deep pink eyes were soft and emotive, but were made almost invisible by her most distinctive feature: her vibrantly multi-colored mane. All the colors of the first rainbow of the season flowed gracefully from her head, layered with such obvious care that the effect looked completely natural, and the deeper colors of the season’s later rainbows had collected themselves into her curly tail. This was Rainbow Dash, and she lived in the house that they were all outside of, a small, rainbow-bearing building that ventured just a little bit into gaudiness, though nopony would ever be cruel enough to say so.

To her left was Minty, a mint-green pony with shockingly dark purple eyes that were just then screwed up in concentration. Her own mane and tail were wild and pink, daringly ranging all the way from dark pink in some areas to light pink in others, and her special symbol showed three small round candies: one green, one pink, and one fully in-between. Her hooves rolled back and forth erratically in a set of roller-skates even as she steadied herself against the fence outside of Rainbow Dash’s house, but perhaps her most distinctive feature was inside the rollerskates: two perfectly matching pairs of striped socks, embroidered in all the colors of the rainbow. Minty was the most avid sock collector in all of Ponyville, helped more than a little by being the only pony in all of Ponyville to wear socks to begin with.

Finally, and also in roller-skates (but no socks), was Pinkie Pie. While Minty’s mane and tail were admittedly fully pink, Pinkie Pie looked like the result of a helpless pony meeting someone with a paintbrush, a full bucket of pink paint, and no sense of restraint. Her mane, curly in a way that betrayed a secret desperate longing for straighter hair, was certainly a somewhat brighter pink than her solidly built body, yet still, little but the blue and yellow balloons on her side broke up her monochromicity. She was the most serious-looking of the three, despite the (pink) roller-skates, but there was still a twinkle of amusement in her wide, closely set blue eyes. It was no wonder that, in lieu of any willing and responsible local authority, so many of Ponyville’s administrative duties fell directly to her. The fact that most of those same administrative duties were various parties and festivities didn’t hurt.

“Well, darlings?” asked Rainbow Dash, for it was she who had been their storyteller. “What prompted you to come and talk to me?”

“Oh, that’s easy!” said Minty, and she took in a deep breath. “Pinkie Pie and I decided to build a float together for the Rainbow Celebration tomorrow, because she likes candy, and I like parties! Gosh, no, wait, that’s not right. I like parties, and she likes candy! No…”

Pinkie Pie laughed, not unkindly. “Because I like parties, Minty, and you like candy. And you can’t have a party without candy…”

“Right! And you can’t have candy without a party, or, heheh, at least I know I can’t! Sometimes I just invent parties, to make sure that I’ll get to eat candy. Heheh.”

“Don’t tell anyone,” said Pinkie Pie, “but sometimes I invent parties to make sure that I get to have parties.”

Rainbow Dash smiled beatifically. “Yes, but, the rainbows, darlings, the rainbows?”

“Ooh, right! The rainbows! We were doing a great job of making the float, right up until we tried to paint it. I wanted to paint it green, but Pinkie Pie wanted to paint it, ewww, take a guess, yep, you guessed it, pink! Then we started fighting and hitting each other with our paint brushes and paint buckets, and that’s why we’re all painted up with green and pink.”

Rainbow Dash blinked. “I’m afraid I hadn’t actually noticed, darlings. So then what did you do?”

Pinkie Pie cut in quickly while Minty was looking down at her green and pink self in clear confusion. “We talked to Kimono! You know how she’s the wisest and cleverest pony in all of Ponyville, right?”

“…of course, darling.” Rainbow Dash’s voice was a little frosty.

“Well, Kimono suggested that we each take half the float: I’d get one side of the float to load up with party things, and I’d paint it pink, but Minty would get to fill her side with candies and socks and things and paint it all green.”

“Of course she suggested that. And then?”

“We gave it a try. And it was working really well, right until Minty broke it.”

“Darling! You broke the float?”

“Honest, I only broke it a little! Okay, a lot. Well, a little a lot! No, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, a whole lot. See, Pinkie Pie thought the division down the middle was perfect, but I thought it was just a smidgen biased to the pink side, and a little bit more of the float was pink than was green! So I painted it over again, but then just a little bit more was green than pink! So I fixed that, but then there was too much pink! And I painted it and painted it and painted it, and then suddenly I guess there was just too much paint and the whole thing split WHAP, CRACK!, like that!, right down the center! …waaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Minty, who’d raised her sock-enclosed front hooves from the fence and waved them wildly in both directions to illustrate her story, had suddenly lost her balance and was beginning to roll away backwards. Only Pinkie Pie quickly grabbing her and bringing her back down to the ground saved her from careening down the remainder of the street, straight into Fizzy Pop and Bumblesweet some few dozen feet away. “Whew!” said Minty, after scooting back over to the fence again. “Thanks, Pinkie Pie!”

“What are friends for?”

“For presents!” Minty was briefly in danger of rolling away from the fence again, but thankfully recovered herself. “So, Rainbow Dash, I thought that instead of talking to somepony who knows everything about everything, heh, gee, we should talk to somepony who knows everything about colors! And, uh, then I guess we got side-tracked, and started talking about the Rainbow Festival instead, and I asked you where rainbows came from.”

“That you did, darling.” Rainbow Dash looked thoughtful. “Well, darlings, clearly I cannot hope to compare myself to the fabulous Kimono, but I can help you! This is the Rainbow Festival, after all, so who better to help than Rainbow Dash?”

Minty utterly squeaked with glee. “Oh, I knew you could help us out, Rainbow Dash! No, I guess I was only pretty sure. No, I was totally sure! No, I had my doubts. No, I believed in you all along! No, I had all sorts of different thoughts about it in my mouth all at once. No, I mean in my head. No…”

“In your case, darling, I suspect there is very little difference between the two. But darlings, how is this even an issue? It is the Rainbow Festival, so you two should have been building a rainbow float.”

“Oooh!” The other two ponies gaped at her in clear admiration. “You’re so right, Rainbow Dash,” they said in unison. “A rainbow float it is!”

“And fortunately, I happen to have a simply darling rainbow float in my backyard, left over from the coronation ceremony. You can both ride with me for the festival, and not worry about patching together your old float after Minty, hm, painted it too hard.”

Pinkie Pie clicked her tongue. “Er… of course, I want to celebrate the Rainbow Festival properly! And a rainbow float does sound right for a rainbow party. But isn’t you liking rainbows just the same as me liking pink and Minty liking green?”

“Why, darling, not at all!” Rainbow Dash raised herself to her hind legs, and rested one forehoof comfortably across each of her friends’ backs. “You see, darlings, what Kimono doesn’t understand is that rainbows are more than a bunch of different colors! Green, pink, blue, purple… they’re all beautiful, of course! But the point of the Rainbow Festival is that little spark that happens when you bring them all together at once, and they become more than the sum of their parts.”

Pinkie Pie was now enraptured. “A spark? What kind of spark?”

“A magic spark, darling! Magic makes it all complete.” She frowned; Minty had one hoof raised in the air. “Yes, darling? Did you want to say something?”

“Oh, no, no!” said Minty, shaking her head furiously. “I didn’t want to say anything! But my tummy wants to, in a couple seconds!”

“Your… tummy?”

There was a sudden gurgling sound from Minty’s torso, loud enough even to draw the irate attention of Fizzy Pop and Bumblesweet farther away. “That’s my tummy saying that it’s hungry!” said the pony. “Hey, I’ve got a great idea! Do you girls want to go to the Sweet Shoppe with me?! I bet Sweetberry’ll be using her very last rainbowberries from last season.”

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie laughed happily. “Hooray! To the Sweet Shoppe!”

Sweetberry’s Sweet Shoppe was two stories tall, with the top floor set aside for eating delicious pastries under a big, pink, frosted, ice-creamy ceiling. The pink, four-windowed door was rarely left shut, and everypony felt invited to come in and sample Sweetberry’s latest creations around her many little round pink tables. It was probably Minty’s favorite place in all of Ponyville, and because Ponyville was her favorite village in all the world, that meant that Sweetberry’s Sweet Shoppe was her favorite place in all the world.

Although now that she thought about it, heheh, she was pretty fond of her house. That was where she kept her socks, after all! And the Celebration Castle was really special too, and ooh, she couldn’t forget about Cotton Candy’s Café either, or Twinkle Twirl’s Dance Studio. And she’d gotten kind of used to sneaking in to visit Pinkie Pie after the Winter Wishes Festival, although Pinkie Pie was almost never home when she did that, only when she was sleeping. But that just meant that Pinkie Pie was out of the house doing other stuff all day, stuff that wasn’t with Minty, since Minty was busy breaking into her house at the time. So she was doing something else with somepony else. Minty wondered what it was.

Standing there in the Sweet Shoppe, gazing hungrily at the menu full of awesome candies and pastries, roller-skates safely hung up on a hook on the wall, Minty then came to two startling conclusions for the very first time. First, Pinkie Pie was her best friend. And second, she didn’t know what Pinkie Pie did with herself when they weren’t hanging out together. Tennis with Sunny Daze? Roller-skating with Scooter Sprite? Ice cream with Triple Treats? Reading with Waterfire? All of the above?!

The more Minty thought about it, the more Pinkie Pie started to feel like one big mystery. Usually she was really cool and friendly and playful, but sometimes she got kind of peeved. Peeved? Angry? Angry worked. The first time, of course, was the Winter Wishes Festival incident, and that was totally fair. Minty would have been angry with herself too! In fact, she had been angry with herself! So angry that she’d almost stolen a balloon and run away from Ponyville forever, just so that nopony would ever have to deal with her awful clumsiness again. She’d chickened out, but still… running away had been Pinkie Pie’s idea, hadn’t it? Sort of? ‘Leave town,’ she’d said, those exact words, and Minty had almost almost almost left just like she’d said.

But what kind of best friend tells you to leave town?

“Are you all right, darling?”

Minty blinked several times and discovered Rainbow Dash nuzzling her gently about the neck. “Huh?” she asked. “Ooh, yeah, all right, me all right, yep, that’s what I am! How are you?”

“Why, I’m simply darling, darling! But you looked so worried all of a sudden.”

“Oh, nah!” Minty giggled helplessly. “Gee, I can’t wait for Sweetberry to show up and take our orders! Aren’t you hungry? Heheh, I know I’m hungry. Ooh, wow. Where is she?”

On cue, a little blue door opened at the back of the shop, letting in Sweetberry. Sweetberry was a chubby, short-muzzled, dark pink pony with heavy purple overtones, plus a few strands of minty green in her mane and tail that Minty had always adored. Her eyes were thin, blue, and in Minty’s opinion unnaturally worried. “Oh, good morning!” she said. “You’re all here for my last rainbowberries of the season, aren’t you? How sweet!”

“But of course, darling!” Rainbow Dash ducked her head politely, and then graced them all with a radiant smile. “You wouldn’t have any of your special rainbowberry cake, would you? And a rainbowberry muffin? Oh, and I’d just love some of your darling rainbowberry juice as well.”

“Cake, muffin, juice, check!” Sweetberry gave Rainbow Dash a look just slightly sterner than her usual smile. “Nothing else?”

Rainbow Dash giggled. “Oh, darling! If I ate any more, you’d think I was an exceptionally large rainbowberry myself, and then where would we be?” All four ponies laughed gaily for several seconds at this idea.

Pinkie Pie sidled over toward Sweetberry. “Do you… er, do you have anything rainbowberryish, but in more of a pink color?”

“Sure, how about a mixed rainbowberry and strawberry milkshake?”

Pinkie Pie beamed. “Pinktastic!”

“Sweet!” Sweetberry stomped her hooves for a second in delight, though her eyes still looked upset from before. “Well, then I’ll be right out with all that for you.”

“Hey!” Minty lurched forwards toward Sweetberry, accidentally knocking both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie to the side as she went. “Uh, I mean, what about me? I didn’t get to order yet! Ooh, gee, and there’s so much to choose from, too!”

Sweetberry glanced around at her three morning customers, two of them picking themselves up from the floor, and now looked more worried than ever. She ran a hoof through one of the purpler parts of her mane. “Well… I guess that’s right, isn’t it?” she asked, after pausing a little longer. “You didn’t. But really, Minty… don’t you think maybe it’s better this way? If you don’t order, I mean?”

Minty’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Uh, no? If I didn’t order anything, I wouldn’t get anything to eat, and then I’d just waste away until I was nothing but a thin mint!” She burst out laughing. “Thin mint! Oh, wow, that’s just too perfect, heheheh.”

Sweetberry, it seemed, wasn’t laughing along with her. And she still wasn't looking at Minty, which felt like a pretty weird way to have a conversation. What was up with her? “Now, that’s not true, Minty. You could eat at Cotton Candy’s Café, after all! You know, I bet she and Triple Treat are doing some really sweet things with kiwis, uh, even though they’re not in season…”

“But I like eating here!” Minty frowned. “I had my Special Day here, remember? You baked all those cakes in your sock-shaped cake pans, and I got to decorate them, and even got most of the frosting on the cakes?”

“That was a lovely party, sure.” Sweetberry looked desperately at Pinkie Pie. “But, Minty… you know you’re not exactly the most popular pony in town anymore, right?”

Minty’s face fell. She'd really hoped that everypony had just forgotten about that, or moved on, or something. Part of being a pariah was never being told if you were still a pariah or not, because either you were, so they wouldn't talk to you, or you weren't, so there'd be nothing to tell. But this conversation wasn't looking very sweet, or tasting very pretty. “No,” she said, a little dolefully, “I know I’m not. But Sweetberry… you still like me, right? I mean, gee, I like you…”

Sweetberry placed a careful hoof on Minty’s right shoulder. “I look at you and see the same well-intentioned pony I know and love. And clearly Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie do, too. But… Twinkle Twirl, for example. You know how much she wants things to be in their right order. And Fiesta Flair was really looking forward to the party, and Spring Fever is always looking to try new things, even if that new thing’s disliking you, and…”

“So!?” Minty stomped her hoof at the floor, and Pinkie Pie let out a quick squeal of pain. “Sweetberry, you’re not Twinkle Twirl!”

“No, but she’s a customer! My life is about baking lots of tasty, floury treats for all my friends here in Ponyville. And if enough ponies like Twinkle Twirl see that I’m serving you, they may decide to stop coming in here. That little Scooter Sprite girl has already moved on. Dropping you is just what’s best for me. You do understand, right, Mints?”

“Darling,” said Rainbow Dash, quietly, adding her own hoof on top of Minty to Sweetberry’s, “you did ruin the entire Winter Wishes Festival, you know.”

“Not just that,” said Pinkie Pie, laying down a third hoof. “We’ll never be able to have another one again. And, er, you haven’t done much since then to make everypony like you better. You’ve just been the same old Minty.”

Minty stared into the sympathetic faces of her three friends and gulped. The same old Minty was all that she knew how to be! But the same old Minty definitely cared about her friends, and if she was making Sweetberry unhappy, then she needed to do the right thing and get out of there. And Cotton Candy would totally welcome her in! Cotton Candy was clumsy too, and had lots of great stories to tell, and they could laugh and laugh and maybe talk about green things! Sweetberry had the best plans, even when she was kicking ponies out of her life. She giggled. “You’re right, girls! Heheh, I should definitely get going. Time waits for no mint! I’ll see you two on the rainbow float tomorrow, okay?”

Rainbow Dash interrupted her as she left, one foreleg crossed over the other in an apparent sign of worry. “Are you sure you’ll be all right, darling? I could come with you to Cotton Candy’s darling little Café, if you’d rather…”

“No, no, you stay right here!” Minty planted her hooves firmly next to the front door, slipping just a little from the socks but quickly recovering herself. “If you come with me, then Sweetberry’s losing business again, and she’s sending me away so that doesn’t happen! Eheh, gosh, what kind of friend would I be if I tried to ruin somepony’s life like that?” Without waiting for an answer, she dashed outside and shut the big pink door behind her. Maybe Sweetberry liked to keep it open, but she didn’t quite feel like encouraging them to watch her walk away.

Minty looked down at the rocky road beneath her socks. She hadn’t actually been to Cotton Candy’s Café in quite a while, and it was nearly across town, but of course she knew the way. She lifted her right forehoof and set it resolutely down in front of her. Yes, Cotton Candy was an old, old friend and would definitely welcome her in with open hooves! Laughter and friendship and deliciousness! But… wasn’t Sweetberry just as old a friend? And what about Triple Treat? She didn’t actually know Triple Treat all that well, and couldn’t remember talking to her since the Winter Wishes Festival…

Minty lifted her second hoof and moved it forward as well. Sunny Daze! Brilliant white Sunny Daze was definitely still her friend, no question about it. Maybe she should visit Sunny after the café trip, and they could play at hoofstands together. Peachy Pie was really nice, ooh, and Piccolo too, and they were sure to remain happy about everything. But Sparkleworks, who loved stars so much? Forsythia? Daisyjo? Minty had spent the last several months resisting any urges to try and sort the other ponies in Ponyville into pro-Minty and anti-Minty camps, but with Sweetberry’s explanation, that was suddenly becoming impossible. Especially since there wasn’t anypony in Ponyville that she wasn’t likely to see all the time! Well, except Kimono, who lived on the outskirts of town, of course, or her new hidey friend.

A third hoof lifted and set down. It just wasn’t fair! She hadn’t wanted to ruin the Winter Wishes Festival for the whole village! How could anypony think that? She’d only been trying to make it better. And okay, yeah, so she was a little clumsy. Okay, a lot clumsy. And okay, so she knew that at the time, and didn’t ask anypony else if they thought it was a good idea, and didn’t go and get anypony else’s help either. So it really was entirely her fault in every particular. And she’d gone and upset a whole lot of ponies over something that was entirely her fault, by wrecking something they’d been looking forward to, and so it made perfect sense that they’d be unhappy with her about it. So really the most unfair thing of all was just how completely fair it all was!

The fourth hoof, faltering. What was she supposed to do now? Like she’d thought in the Sweet Shoppe, there was exactly one pony that Minty knew how to be, and that was Minty. Giggling, sock-collecting, accident-prone, clumsy, destructive, stupid, untrustworthy, better-off-exiled Minty.

Minty raised her first hoof again… and fell down beside the Sweet Shoppe door, sobbing, her trip to the Café and plans for visiting Sunny Daze forgotten completely. Hot tears of repressed shame rolled down her muzzle and splashed to the pavement below. Everything. She, she alone, had ruined everything, and now Ponyville was finally making its disapproval clear, and what in Equestria was she supposed to do about it?! She’d planned to paint Celebration Castle green for her birthday, but nopony was likely to find that funny, unless they already were on her side.

And what else was there? Everything she knew how to do, she already did, all the time! Except crying. Crying was a new skill, but she was getting pretty good at it pretty fast. The pain in her heart probably just meant that she was doing a really good job. Or that she had broken it, which made perfect sense too… why should Minty’s heart get a free pass from getting broken by Minty?

Some time later, the door creaked open. Minty blinked back her tears and looked upward to discover Pinkie Pie, looking concerned, her half-finished pink milkshake cradled in one hoof. Neither spoke for several seconds, and the only sounds were Minty’s sniffles, the breeze in the trees, and the faint sound of Rainbow Dash talking to Sweetberry from inside.

“Oh… hi, Pinkie Pie,” said Minty eventually.

“Hi Minty. Er… you don’t look so good.”

“Nope.”

“Er… want some milkshake?”

Minty eyed the drink with distaste. “Nah. It needs more green.”

“Yeah, I guess I can see that.” Pinkie Pie took a long sip, apparently unashamed of her drink’s utter pinkness. “It’ll all get better, Minty. Everypony’s just a little riled up right now, but they’ll calm down soon. Nopony’s ever hated anypony in Ponyville before.”

Minty stared at the ground. “Nopony’s ever ruined the entire Winter Wishes Festival before, either. Besides, it’s been three whole months and they’re only getting madder, not less madder!” She blinked. “Pinkie Pie, aren’t you afraid that ponies are going to be mad at you too if you keep hanging out with me, like Sweetberry?”

Pinkie Pie gave her a reassuring clap on the back. “Nope! I’m much too popular for that! Hay, if you want I could even tell you who’s on your side or not, as far as I’ve been able to tell. What do you say?”

Minty was silent for some time. That was a funny word. Popular. Minty was horribly unpopular by any realistic measure, but her best friend was really popular. And Pinkie Pie had always been popular, so it wasn’t just a question of who had or hadn’t ruined everything. But how? And why? She looked up again. “Pinkie Pie… what do you want?”

“Huh?” Pinkie Pie looked hurt. “Balloons! And parties! And right now, to make you feel better, which I guess could involve balloons and parties!”

“No!” Minty gave a half-hearted giggle as she attempted to organize her swirling thoughts. “I mean, I want parties too sometimes, and I want socks, and candy, and green things. But those are just… hobbies, aren’t they? Nopony’s mad at me about any of that stuff, it’s something deeper! It’s like, what makes me special, not just different? Sweetberry doesn’t just bake stuff… she wants to make everypony happy! And Twinkle Twirl wants everypony to be better, and Razzaroo wants to know everything even before it happens. So what do you want? What makes you special?”

Pinkie Pie took another long sip from her milkshake. “Well… personally, I want to be everypony’s best friend. But what about you, Minty? You’re the one in trouble here!”

Minty leaned back against the wall of the Sweet Shoppe. Pinkie Pie’s answer was a strange one, she seemed to feel, but then she had an answer of her own to figure out. Did she want anything? Didn’t she spend her time grabbing on to each new adventure as it came? But whatever she had been wanting, clearly it wasn’t working just now, so… “I want nopony to hate me.”

“That sounds like a pretty big wish!”

“Heheh… yeah, I guess it is.”

Pinkie Pie grinned. “Well, I know whom you should be talking to about big wishes…”

“Wow, Minty! I don’t know… that kind of feels like it’d be cheating, don’t you think?”

A bright blue river ran through the east side of Ponyville, and over the river was a short, grassy bluff, and on top of the bluff sat Skywishes. Her coat was much like Pinkie Pie’s, but her colors descended farther into dark purples, and her mane was straight and tended to wrap itself about her leaner and taller body. Her eyes were wonderfully green, surprisingly shiny, frequently unfocused, and presently concerned. Beside Skywishes stood Minty, mane blowing freely in the wind as she tried to bring Skywishes around to her position, and around them both flew a troupe of butterflies in several wide, curious circles.

“Cheating!?” Minty’s eyebrows shot upwards into the roots of her mane. “I don’t think it’d be cheating! I just want you to wish that I had my friends back, because you like wishing, and your extra special wishes come true! How is that cheating?”

“I do like wishing!” Skywishes’s smile was vague. “But I’m not sure how that wish would come true. It would be a pretty big job for them!”

Minty sat back on her haunches in confusion. The pretty green grass tickled. “Them? Who’s them?”

Skywishes flashed a toothy grin, but was looking up at the sky. “Uh… you know, my wishes! My wishes would have a hard time making that fly. I mean, making it happen. Making this one wish of all those other wishes happen. …oh, you know what I mean!”

“I… don’t think that I do.” Minty followed Skywishes’ gaze upwards, but didn’t see anything worth marveling at. Some ponies called Skywishes scatterbrained, and Minty supposed they weren’t actually wrong, though her wishes really were great and she was very nice. Secretive, maybe, but nice.

Skywishes laughed, a happy laugh that Minty was glad to laugh along with. “You know what?” she asked once they had both calmed down. “Neither do I! My wishes are very powerful, after all! I should trust in them. That’s what friends do, right?”

“Yes! Definitely! …um, so you’re friends with your wishes?”

Skywishes looked up at the sky yet again, but swiveled back to face Minty. “Oh, let’s stop talking about me, please! Wishes aren’t about the pony who makes them; they’re about the pony they’re for.” She took a moment to look very satisfied with herself. “And your wish is for everypony to stop hating you?”

“Not quite.” Minty rolled over onto her back and stared at the sky. She truly couldn’t tell what Skywishes had been looking at. There were clouds, and butterflies, and a big green kite – she glanced across the river and saw Forsythia on the other side, piloting it – but nothing strange-looking. Of course, Skywishes had always liked the sky, so maybe she didn’t need anything strange to look at? That felt right. “It’s not like everypony hates me now,” she continued. “Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie don’t, and I bet Sunny Daze doesn’t either, and you don’t, do you, Skywishes?”

“Of course not! You were only trying to help.”

“Right? Gosh, Skywishes, why are you so great? Is it because, oh, you won the Best Friend Ever Award? I know I’d be pretty great if I won one of those, heheh.”

Skywishes’ purple coat turned an attractive maroon. “I didn’t really win it, Twinkle Twirl did! But she gave it to me because she said I was a better friend, so I won it, but I didn’t win win it, or win it win, but only second-win-hoof… oh, you know what I mean!” Her maroon grew deeper as a cloud floated in front of the sun. “Minty, I wish we could all win one of those awards, so we could all be the best friend ever to each other all the time.”

Minty gasped, but then realized that had only been a regular, mill-variety, run-of-the-garden-type Skywishes wish, not an extra special Skywishes wish that always came true. And the Best Friend Ever Award was much too pink for her tastes anyway. But none of that seemed important, so she just giggled.

“Well… Minty.” Skywishes lay down on the grass beside her, absently playing with a little blue flower. A glistening white butterfly landed on the flower, and Skywishes stared at it fondly. “I got that award for something I did. I helped Twinkle and all her students to dance in the clouds for the Friendship Ball, when her own dance plans were too complicated for everypony to remember. And if anypony hates you now, it’s because of what you did.” The butterfly took flight, rejoining its many colorful companions in the sky above. “If you want to win them over again, you’re going to have to do something, something extra special. I can’t just wish it all away!”

“Sign me up!” Minty flung a hoof happily around Skywishes’ back. “I like doing things, heheh! Doing things is practically all I ever do!”

Skywishes smiled warmly, and her emerald eyes smiled too. “I wish you all the luck in Equestria.” She bowed her head towards the ground, and Minty felt the air around them go still as the whole world prepared itself for Skywishes’ extra special wishes. Even the butterflies had stopped their circling and were hovering in place, waiting to hear her words.

“I wish, I wish, I wish… that Minty will find something to do to make her a hero instead of a villain.”

There was a long moment of silence as the world understood its new duty. Then Minty heard a small grunt of frustration from across the river, and watched as Forsythia’s big green kite escaped its owner and took off into the sky on its own.

“Run,” said Skywishes.

“Yes, I’ll do it, I’ll run, I’ll run! …wait, run where?”

Skywishes leaned forward to look directly into Minty’s eyes. Her muzzle was slightly crinkled, and Minty could feel Skywishes’ warm breath tickling her face as she spoke. “Catch a kite… catch a wish.”

Minty looked up. Minty gave Skywishes the biggest hug she could from their awkward position. Minty ran.

Butterflies streamed around her, keeping Minty company as she chased the kite. She began to laugh. She couldn’t help herself – she was on the road to salvation, and after all, running was so much fun! Ponies watched her as she passed them by, some curiously, some with disapproval, but she couldn’t spare the time to stop and talk with them, not when there was a kite to catch. A kite, and a wish! The kite remained stubbornly over the center of the river, dipping and bobbing up and down with the winds but never coming closer to land, and Minty ran along the river’s bank, dodging rocks and trees and heart-shaped pedestals as she went.

She wondered what would happen if she caught the kite. When! When she caught the kite. Minty wasn’t usually a pony who worried too much about the future, so she’d never had cause to try for one of Skywishes’ extra special wishes before. Would there be an explosion of light and color? Would the perfect plan suddenly appear in her head? Would nothing happen at all? So many possibilities, and all of them counting on her chasing down that kite, though she was stuck on the green grass and it was still firmly in the sky.

Two minutes in, Minty was feeling tired and the kite was showing no signs of coming closer to her, only remaining above the river. She was getting slower, her legs complaining each time she pushed them forward after the elusive kite. The sun had emerged from behind its clouds and she was feeling hot beneath her green coat. Worst of all, the kite was approaching the sandy island in the middle of Ponyville’s wide river, and on that island were a bunch of trees, and… yep. It happened. Minty skidded to a welcome stop and watched as the kite became stuck in one of the trees.

“Well… that’s not too bad!” she said, out loud to keep her spirits up. “I mean, heh, look at that kite. It’s pretty low down, yeah, I could reach that kite no problem. If I were on the island, I mean, heheh. Which I’m not. No, I’m over here, not on that island. Oh, what if I swam over there? That would work if I could swim. Can I swim? Whoops, I don’t think I can. Swimming sounds hard. Heh. Okay. Now what?”

“Have you considered sailing?”

Minty blinked. She hadn’t realized she was talking to anypony else! Was she? But no, there a few feet away was Seaspray, a beautiful blue pony with a blue, purple, and gold mane that rolled off her head in, appropriately enough, sea-like waves. She was fishing, but more importantly, she was sitting beside a dock, and at that dock was a little blue and orange wooden sailboat, rocking on top of the river’s mild current, starfish-patterned sail fluttering gently.

“Seaspray,” said Minty with a gasp, “you’re a gorgeous genius!” She ran to the deck and leapt head-first into the boat, barely avoiding splitting her skull against its wooden planks. “Uh, whoops! Heheh, don’t worry, I’ll bring it right back, I just need that kite!”

Seaspray threw down her fishing gear and walked quickly forwards. “Minty… do you know how to sail a boat?”

Minty untied the mooring rope – she was really good at untying things – and gave a whoop as the boat slipped away from shore and began floating along the river. “Uh, nope! But don’t worry, it’s not like flying a balloon or anything up in the sky like that! How hard can it be?”

“No, Minty, wait!” cried Seaspray, but by then the little boat had already sailed too far from the dock. “Minty, come back, don’t try it! Minty! Minty! Miiiiiiiiiiiiinty!!!”

“…inty? Minty? Minty. Can you hear me, my dear friend?”

Minty forced her eyes open. She hurt all over. She was soaked. She was clutching an equally soaked green kite, and she was caught in a big fishing net. Also there was a tall pony, head to hoof purple but darker than Skywishes, staring at her through large green eyes. “Oh… hey again, Kimono,” she said, spitting out river water as she did so. “Wait… Kimono?! What are you doing here? Where is here?”

Kimono gestured behind her with a smile. “This is my riverside hut, Minty. I heard noises from my net and came to investigate, but even I was surprised to find you here, drawn in from the river! How did you come to fall in? Did you and Pinkie Pie have another disagreement while painting your float?”

Minty tried to cross her forelegs, but found it difficult while still wrapped up in the net. “I didn’t come to fall in, I came to get this kite! Ooh, and I found it too!” She thought back to the slowly returning memories of her dangerous river voyage. A boat that had been surprisingly hard to steer; a kite just a little too high to reach; standing on top of the boat; reaching for the kite; grabbing the kite; feeling the boat give way… oh dear, she’d gone and done it again. “Kimono… I think I capsized Seaspray’s boat. Uh, whoops, there’s another pony who’s gonna have reason to hate me now.”

Kimono patted her softly on the head. “I’m sure we’ll work something out, my friend. But first I need to attend to the other surprise visitor caught in my net.”

Minty twisted around to follow Kimono’s line of vision, and discovered a small pink pony trapped in the netting beside her, with waterlogged curls nearly as colorful as Rainbow Dash’s own mane and tail. The pink pony didn’t look familiar, which was very odd considering Minty had thought she recognized every single pony in the whole village. But odder still was the short, bony horn protruding from the top of her head. Rainbow Dash’s story from earlier that morning suddenly flashed into her head.

“Kimono, is that… gee, is she a unicorn pony?”

Kimono nodded solemnly. “She is. Oh, I’ve waited so long to see one of her kind with my own eyes!” She pulled firmly at the cords of the net several times, until the strange unicorn pony began to stir. “Welcome to Ponyville, young one. With whom do we have the pleasure?”

The pink unicorn blinked wild, crystal-colored eyes at them. “Huh, me? I’m Rarity, that’s who! And you’d better watch out… King Sombra just took over everything, and I’d bet he’s on his way here too!”

Minty gulped involuntarily. “King Sombra?”

“Yeah! Are you royal ponies? Can you fight back? Why don’t you have horns on your heads? Do you have any food? I’m hungry.”

Minty realized that she was still quite hungry herself, but suspected now was not the time to say so. Forsythia's kite, unfortunately, did not appear to be edible. Kimono in the meantime was fully in charge of the conversation. “We are neither of us royalty, no,” she said. “What can you tell us about this ‘King Sombra,’ friend?”

“Uh… if you’re not royals, you’d better take me to somepony who is, got it? This is heavy stuff.” There was a silence, and Rarity’s eyes narrowed. “You ladies do have someone in charge, right? I dunno if I should go blabbing to just anypony.”

Minty looked uncertainly at Kimono. Kimono looked thoughtfully back. “Yes,” said Kimono, “I suppose we do. She has spent time enough ducking her responsibilities, and this sounds like a serious matter. Come, Minty, and little Rarity…

“…it’s time to speak to Princess Wysteria.”

The Princess and the Minty

The story of how we came to have our Princess Wysteria is long, young one. But she lives far from Ponyville—farther even than I—and so we have the time in which to tell it. As we go, you may try these pancakes I made to lessen your hunger. Yes, of course you too, Minty, my friend.

The office of ‘princess’ is now only a formality, but it was not always so. Once upon a time Princesses ruled over all the land of Equestria, holding great powers, and they might rule so still had not their internal quarreling dissolved the harmony among them and cast the land into strife.

There was a pink pony named Sundance, who so loved adventure that she could never live in one place but was always in search of new friends and new discoveries. One day her adventures brought her to the Rainbow Forest, and within that forest she found a unicorn pony… the last unicorn known to our history, before your appearance today, little Rarity. This unicorn was Princess Silver Swirl, wise master of the mystic arts, and Sundance convinced her to leave the forest and rule all the land of Equestria. Princess Silver Swirl liked this notion, but decided to share her power, for she knew that magic alone is nothing without friends beside you.

So Princess Silver Swirl sought and found the last pegasus pony, who became known as Princess Twinkle Star, who loved the stars more than the sky and had never disappeared with her many winged sisters and cousins. Princess Twinkle Star was not easily convinced to leave her stars and join everypony else on the ground, but she was at last convinced when she learned that she could grant the wishes made by her subjects, for she had a very generous heart.

From the other ponies of Equestria—the ‘earth ponies,’ as we were known at the time, when wings and horns were still remembered—choosing a third Princess was not an easy task, and many ponies came forth with reasons for why they should be chosen. At last the crown went to her that would be called Princess Crystal, who could see the future in her crystal ball. Princess Silver Swirl asked her what qualified her to be a worthy princess, and Princess Crystal answered that she would never tell her subjects anything but the truth. When asked how she could be sure, she said that she had seen her honesty foretold in her crystal ball, and her crystal ball lied no more than she did.

For a time the three Princesses were happy, and Equestria was happy around them, but Princess Silver Swirl grew discontent. She had learned in her books of magic that six was the most magical number of all, and wished for herself and her fellow Princesses to embody the six great principles of ponydom, in order to be the best rulers of Equestria possible. So she sought out a Princess of laughter, and gave the title to the greatest entertainer in all the land, who became known as Princess Trixiebelle. Princess Trixiebelle was not an active ruler, preferring to spend her time creating complicated entertainments, but this was seen as only right and proper.

The next principle, kindness, was thought to flourish most in the harshest conditions, and so Princess Twinkle Star flew to the poorest village she could find in all Equestria. There she found a serving girl who brought colors and happiness to all around her, and who dreamed only of one day attending a ball in the Princesses’ castle. Princess Twinkle Star granted the girl’s wish by making her a Princess herself, and she took the name Princess Morning Glory. Together they said farewell to all her friends in the village, and Princess Morning Glory joined the others in the castle, where she spent her time decorating and giving the other Princesses beautiful new hairstyles.

The Princesses were at a loss for how to choose their final Princess, for the final principle is loyalty, which may be tested only in the most adverse of circumstances, and peace had been brought to Equestria. But one thing that was not peaceful was the world of fashion, which was eternally changing, and they found a tall blue pony who was so loyal to the spirit of fashion that no sooner was a new trend introduced than she abandoned the old one altogether. She was given a magic ring that made her Princess Ivy, the dazzling glamour Princess, who could be seen everywhere and who never tired of displaying her beauty. Together the six Princesses ruled Equestria like sisters.

One day Princess Crystal came to Princess Silver Swirl in secret, to tell her the things that she had seen in her crystal ball. Princess Ivy was not content being the most beautiful Princess of all, for there was always a danger that that would change, and so she wished to rid Equestria of her competitors. She had spoken with plain Princess Morning Glory, whom she could trust never to outshine her in beauty, and Princess Morning Glory agreed to the treason, for she had come to resent the first Princesses for stripping her of her old life. Princess Silver Swirl feared the coming conflict, but decided to design a test to verify Princess Crystal’s reports. She adopted a baby dragon, and called forth all her fellow Princesses to give the dragon blessings to help him all through his life. All came, save for Princess Trixiebelle, who was performing in a magic show.

Princess Silver Swirl gave the dragon great strength, and Princess Twinkle Star gave him great knowledge, and Princess Crystal gave him great long life. But together Princess Ivy and Princess Morning Glory, thinking they were unobserved, worked to undo his blessings, for they feared that he might be used as a weapon against them. To temper his great strength, they bound him eternally inside of a mountain. To blunt his great knowledge, they made him easily confused and liable to forget what he was to speak about. And last, to weaken his great long life, they cursed him to sleep for a thousand years.

When Princess Silver Swirl discovered this treachery, she was furious, both with Princess Ivy and Princess Morning Glory for betraying her and with herself for having failed to provide Equestria with proper embodiments of the six great principles. She cast a powerful magic spell that all but obliterated the castle in which they stood, so powerful that it turned the beautiful Rainbow Forest around them into the fearsome Everfree Forest which lies near to Ponyville even today. And she stripped all five of them of their powers and of their memories of being Princesses, leaving only Princess Trixiebelle, who had already all but forgotten on her own. Princess Trixiebelle wished but to entertain, and so did her descendents and their descendents as well, some believing that theirs was the line of a Princess and others not, with neither set faring the better nor the worse for it.

Sundance, the adventurous pony who had found Princess Silver Swirl in the beginning, took up the rulership of Equestria in their stead. She was known as Queen Sunsparkle, until such time as she determined that Equestria no longer needed a monarch. And that was the end of the story until five months ago, when our own Wysteria and Pinkie Pie went on a journey to pick some rare flowers on top of this mountain.

A hole in the rocks opened up beneath them, and they fell into an immense cavern, where Wysteria found a beautiful flower. The flower had been tied to Princess Ivy and Princess Morning Glory’s curse a thousand years ago, and when Wysteria picked it, the dragon awoke and proclaimed her Princess Wysteria, ruler of all the land. For, you see, Princess Crystal had peered far, far into the future in her crystal ball, and had left the dragon instructions. When he woke, Equestria would at last be ready for the six great principles to take root again in ordinary ponies, and there would at last be a Princess worthy of ruling the land. She wrote that if he picked the first pony to pick his magic flower as that Princess, then the rest would work itself out on its own.

And our dear friend Wysteria… well, she wasn’t very happy about this at all.

Minty, she realized, didn’t know very much about Equestria. She knew a whole lot about Ponyville and its forty citizens, and that was about it. Well, eheh, lots of stuff about the color green too, and about socks, but those weren’t really relevant. She did know that Ponyville was built at the base of a very tall mountain, and that mountain was the source of the river flowing through Ponyville, which she’d fallen into earlier that day. Neither the river nor the mountain had any names, which made sense, since they were really more just the river and the mountain. They’d never seen any others, so why bother with names? The exception to this was the vast Everfree Forest to the southwest, which was so dark and frightening it demanded a title.

Climbing up the mountain behind Kimono and Rarity, though, Minty found that Equestria was in fact far bigger than she’d ever thought about. She could see Ponyville, which of course wasn’t very impressive on its own, but she could see all of Ponyville, all at once. The Petal Parlor, Celebration Castle, her own house… and so much more besides just that. There were other rivers in Equestria, and other forests. Other mountains, if that was what she was seeing in the distance. Any Ponyville looked so very, very small, and Equestria looked so very big.

“Hey, uh, Kimono?” she asked. Kimono was in fact in the center of their group, with Minty in the rear, since Rarity’d insisted on climbing in front despite not knowing where they were going. This made her frequently stop and loudly wait for Kimono to catch up, so that she could ask for more directions, but Rarity had more energy than patience… kind of like Pinkie Pie, maybe.

“No, my friend, we are not there yet.”

“Eheh, no, I wasn’t gonna ask that!” She mentally reminded herself not to ask that in the future. She didn’t want to be predictable. “I, uh, so…”

“Yes?”

Minty stopped for a moment, hooves set firmly on a large and stable boulder. She had, very reluctantly, left her socks in Kimono’s hut, because they were totally waterlogged and wouldn’t be at all fun to climb mountains in. But wait, what had she wanted to ask? She looked down again at Equestria below them. It was so, so, green. Green grass and green trees covered the earth as far as she could see, until they were eventually replaced by what she was still assuming were mountains. Minty had thought she knew green, but now she was getting the feeling that she had only ever touched one small part of it. This new green, this green of huge unexplored territories, was calling out to her to come and love it, and she didn’t know how. She’d lived in Ponyville since forever, and the wider world was inviting, but it was also so scary. Nopony knew anything about it, except, well, Kimono…

“Kimono, why do you live on the edge of town?”

Minty heard Kimono chuckle from above, and quickly resumed climbing the mountainside behind her, so that she didn’t get lost or not hear the answer to her question or anything like that. “A simple question,” said Kimono, “but not so simple an answer. Do I live in Ponyville, looking out at the rest of Equestria? Or do I live in the wilderness, looking in at blissful Ponyville?”

Minty continued to climb, trying not to let her enthusiasm take over. She had tried climbing too quickly at the base of the mountain, and had survived the rocky slip and fall only from having been so close to the ground to begin with. “I dunno!” she said. “That’s why I asked you!”

Kimono chuckled again. “Quite true… and I suppose it is the latter. Ponyville is a very happy and joyous place, Minty. You girls are always so full of energy and celebrations, it makes me wonder how you find any time to be yourselves.”

Kimono was walking slower as she answered Minty’s question, and so minty had almost caught up with her. “What do you mean?” she asked, panting just a little. “I mean, who else would I be? I don’t turn into Pinkie Pie when I’m at a party, heheh, that would be just really weird. Especially if she was also Pinkie Pie, yikes. Or if she wasn’t!”

“No, of course not.” Kimono paused, and Minty finally reached the same ledge of rock that she was standing on. “my point is that… is it not hard, during one of your many festivals, to remain committed to being yourself and not simply a partygoer? Does not the party replace the Minty?” Minty looked at Kimono blankly, and she sighed and continued. “That is my fear, my friend. If I joined your happy village, would I lose Kimono? How do I celebrate… and also love to read, and take tea, and think to myself?”

Minty whistled long and loud, startling a bird that had been nesting on a nearby stone. “Wow, Kimono! You’re really smart!”

“I’m sorry,” said Kimono. She blushed faintly and looked toward the ground.

“No, no, heh, it’s fine!” Minty patted her side enthusiastically. “That’s what makes you you, right? Isn’t that what you were just talking about?!” She grinned. “Anyhow, I’ve never had that problem! Most parties I end up bringing some socks or candy or something to anyway, and that way I get to be as me as I want to be!” She lowered her voice several notches. “Maybe you’re just scared of trying out parties, Kimono, because you think you’d like them!”

Kimono leaned sideways toward Minty and gave her an affectionate nuzzle. Minty felt her cheeks turn a bit hotter. “You may be right, my friend,” Kimono replied. “What one fears most can often be what one desires most, and I shall try to be more social in the future.” Her mouth curved warmly upwards. “You will always be welcome at my hut, Minty, to remind me to keep my pledge or simply to visit.”

Minty smiled distractedly; that thing Kimono had said about fearing and wanting the same stuff had sounded really important. She risked another downward glance, and saw Equestria even wider and greener than the last time she’d looked. “Kimono… are we alone?”

“Dear friend, I… I don’t think I understand the question?”

Minty waved a hoof down the mountainside behind them; she and Kimono were now climbing side by side, so her gesture was easy to see. “Well, you know, Ponyville! You and Rainbow Dash have all these great stories about the ponies in old Equestria, right, and gee, they’re really cool and all. But where are they now? Is Ponyville everypony that’s left, or, huh, gosh, are there absolutely tons of ponies absolutely everywhere and I’ve never met them, hmm, I guess that’s the only options I can really think of?”

Kimono kicked her lightly, what Minty would have called playfully if it’d been anypony but wise serious big-words Kimono. “Why, Minty! Have you forgotten so soon what brought us here? Or should I say, who?”

“Oh! Oh, right!” Minty giggled. “Rarity the unicorn!”

“Just Rarity’s fine!”

Minty shrieked, startled by Rarity’s sudden appearance next to her. Her front hooves shot up in the air in panic, and she felt herself beginning to topple backwards. Quickly Minty tried to regain her balance, but the mountain’s face was much too steep, and her footing was ruined. Her poor hooves slipped down the rocks, crying out in pain as they rubbed against the hard crags, and in no time she was simply falling down, making contact with the mountain only to bounce off it at painful intervals. She scrunched up her eyes, really not wanting to watch the world fly by her or the jagged rocks dig into her poor tender coat.

Well, this was it. She was going to die! Oh, and shoot, what a nasty way to go! All she’d been trying to do was go visit Princess Wysteria, who just had to live up in a big dumb mountain, and now she was falling halfway down that mountain and getting more beat up by the minute. Ouch, ouch, ouch! Well, at least Ponyville would be happy now that there wasn’t any more dumb Minty around to ruin everything for them. They could have proper parties again, without worrying about her sticking her hoof where it didn’t belong and destroying everything. Pinkie Pie would be happier without needing to set her straight all the time, and Seaspray would know her boat was sacrificed to a just cause, and Sweetberry would get all her customers back, and, and, and…

…and Sunny Daze would be miserable, wouldn’t she? Who would go body-surfing with her, if not minty? Would poor Rainbow Dash have to wear black? Would Razzaroo have to tear Minty’s pages out of her beloved birthday book? And what would Skywishes think if her extra special wish didn’t actually come true? Unless… oh, gosh, no…

…unless this was how it was going to work out. She’d keep falling down the mountain, and die, and everypony would be sad. Pinkie Pie and Razzaroo would put together a funeral, and everyone in Ponyville would start to miss her and would totally forgive her for ruining the Winter Wishes Festival because she was all dead and stuff. She wouldn’t get to appreciate it, but still, nopony would hate her anymore! That was what she’d wished for, right?

No, it wasn’t. What she’d… well, actually, what Skywishes had wished for was for Minty to do something to be a hero. Ponies liked heroes, lots more than they liked ponies who happened to die at random. And whatever Rarity the unicorn’s problem was, it sounded like it needed a hero. Minty falling to her death wasn’t what Skywishes had wished for, and it wasn’t nice, and it wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t what Minty wanted. Because after all her life of living in the moment and dreaming only of the next party, and after all her shame from the Winter Wishes Festival, and after falling at random off the side of Wysteria’s mountain, what Minty wanted…

“I want to be a hero,” she whispered. And then, just as she was about to laugh at how silly she sounded, she noticed something. It had been a long time since she’d felt herself crash against the mountainside on her way down. To be honest, she wasn’t even sure if she was still falling at all!

Very, very cautiously, Minty opened her eyes. She was floating in the air, covered in sparkly pink glowing light. And there, just a few feet away, were her friends! Kimono was staring at her in what looked like grateful panic, and Rarity was concentrating hard, a pink light wrapping around her unicorn horn that matched the one around Minty. Ten seconds later Minty was back on the ground, just where she’d fallen from, and the rocks were solid and the sun was shining and Skywishes’ wish could still come true and Kimono was embracing her tightly and Rarity was grinning and she was alive alive alive alive alive! She laughed in purest delight, and they joined her, and all three ponies stood there laughing together for half a minute at least.

“That was fun!” said Rarity, punctuating her words with an innocent giggle. “Let’s do it again!”

Minty shook her head rapidly, the laughter drained out of her by the very thought. “Eheh, wow, let’s really really not, okay?” Kimono muttered something in quiet agreement. “Uh, what just happened, anyway? I was all surrounded in light!”

Rarity posed proudly, head turned toward the sky. Her mane, even dried off from the river, was nothing but curls, but they did their best to blow dramatically behind her anyhow. “I used my magic!” she said. “Cheerilee always said I have a lot of it, and I guess I do! Whoah!”

Minty tilted her head as best she could while still being hugged by Kimono. Her body still hurt from all the times it had smashed against the mountainside, and Kimono wasn’t really helping, but right then it just felt too good to be safe and secure. But… “Magic?” she asked. “You can do magic?”

“Uh, duh? That’s what my horn’s for! Why don’t you guys have one? They’re super useful, and your heads look really boring!”

Minty pulled herself free from Kimono and took a closer look at Rarity’s horn. It was curvy like some shells that she’d found before, a little paler pink than the coat below it, and about as long as a muzzle. She’d definitely never seen anypony with one of them before. “I dunno!” she said. “How did you get yours? Is there a horn store where you come from?”

Rarity burst out laughing. “Of course not! Everypony in Unicornia’s born with one! Mine’s really short, because I’m actually a bunch younger than I act, but Cheerilee says it’ll probably be even longer than hers when I’m an adult. I can’t wait!”

Rarity, Minty couldn’t help but notice, was very small. And she didn’t act so old either, but Minty supposed she wasn’t really one to talk about that, so she held her tongue. It was an unusual sensation. “Who’s Cheerilee?” she asked instead.

“She’s my teacher! She’s the purple band of the rainbow, and hey, waaaaaaaait a minute!” Rarity glared up at Minty, her mouth set in a ridiculously exaggerated frown. “Nice try, weird clumsy green hornless pony! …if that is your real name! I’m not talking to anypony but your Princess, got it? You two might be spies for King Sombra, even if you’re acting nice.”

Minty gasped. “I’m not a spy! And gosh, Kimono here’s probably like double not a spy, right, Kimmy? And if we were spies, why would you trust anypony we brought you to see, huh?”

“Uh, hello?” Rarity smirked back at her. “Princesses are beautiful and perfect, so she can’t be a spy.”

Kimono chuckled softly, and they both turned to look at her. “Ah, my young friend, were it so simple! Princess Morning Glory was not beautiful at all, for instance, and neither she nor Princess Ivy were at all perfect. Nor the others, perhaps, but those two were surely the most obvious examples, no?”

“Huh?” Rarity started fidgeting, rocking back and forth on her hooves from one side to the other. Minty looked nervously downwards, but fortunately they were all a reasonable distance from the nearest edge. “Ivy and Morning Glory?” she continued. “I’ve never heard of those ponies before. I guess they could be ugly if you want, but that probably just means they were just some dumb imitation princesses, not real proper ones. Hey, green pony, your Princess Wysteria’s beautiful, right? Yeah? There you go!”

“Never heard of…?” Kimono’s brow furrowed, and she looked almost cross. Minty looked back and forth between the two nervously. “But they were the chief antagonists in my tale! I spent all the first portion of our journey telling you about them. Weren’t you listening?”

Rarity looked up the mountainside and jumped onto the next boulder up. “I was listening, I was listening! And if I wasn’t, it’s not my fault; your story was just too boring. Come on, let’s go! The sun’s gonna set or something if we don’t hurry up. Uh… if the sun can still set. Come on!”

The Ponyville ponies shared a worried look and began to follow after her. Minty still hurt all over from her fall, but the pain had mostly quieted down to a dull background sensation, and she could still walk and climb okay. Besides, thinking about whether Wysteria was ‘beautiful’ or not had made Minty more excited to go see her. Come to think of it, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten to see Wysteria, now that she lived in a mountain instead of taking care of flowers all day. She guessed she might have caught a glimpse of her at the Winter Wishes Festival, or the magical music show, or something like that, but she’d been pretty distracted them. So really… just the coronation, then, five months ago? Gee. Now she felt like a really icky friend.

“If there is one thing I dislike,” said Kimono, very quietly, “it’s a pony who does not listen.”

“Aww!” Minty nuzzled her briefly with an unscraped area of her head. “I thought your story was cool! Even if it could have used more socks.”

Kimono laughed. “I’m afraid a Princess of Socks has never been in the cards, my friend, but thank you. I only hope that Wysteria will prove as willing to listen as you did.”

It took about seven more minutes for them to reach the right plateau. The mountain continued for what looked like forever above them, covered in rocks and bushes and strange-looking trees, and Minty was quite relieved to hear they didn’t have to climb the rest of the way up. There was a patch of pretty orange flowers nearby, but Kimono directed their attention to a large hole in the ground, with a gritty stone staircase appearing to lead deep down in the mountain’s insides. Minty looked down the hole cautiously, but there was nothing but darkness and more stairs to be seen.

“This is where Pinkie Pie and Princess Wysteria fell in,” said Kimono. “Since then, we’ve done some work together to make a proper staircase. There are those who would enjoy a slippery slide through the darkness—I suspect, my friend, you might be among them—but it is not for all, and a Princess’s castle must be welcoming.”

“Castle?!” Rarity skipped over from the flowers, which she had been sniffing delightedly. “There’s a whole castle in there? A stone castle?”

Kimono smiled faintly. “Not yet, young one. Princess Wysteria’s redecoration efforts have been limited to these steps and many, many stone flowers. But perhaps someday it will improve, especially if the citizens of Ponyville lend a helping hoof.”

“Ooh, flowers?” Minty lay flat on her stomach to get a better look down the hole, but it really was too dark to see anything. “Flowers made of rocks? Do we get to see them?”

“Of course, my friend!” Kimono turned to face Rarity, and gestured carefully towards the hole. “If our unicorn friend will kindly provide us with some light, we can see all there is to see.”

Minty looked at Rarity in confusion. She had had a vague sense that Wysteria now lived specifically inside the mountain, and she’d wondered how that worked and how they were supposed to find her, but Kimono’s story and the dangerous trek up the mountainside had replaced those questions in her head. None of them seemed to have any torches or anything, though, Rarity least of all. She was just opening her mouth to ask a question when Rarity’s horn began to sparkle again, and a big pink glow appeared around it, shifting constantly but staying full and bright.

“Oh, gosh!” Minty dashed forward and tried to stare at the magical light from all directions. “That’s so cool! It’s bright! It’s dazzling! It’s awesome! It’s magic! It’s… pink.”

“Yeah, I like pink!” Rarity looked like she was enjoying herself, twisting her head around to give Minty ever views of her glowing horn. “Don’t you like pink?”

Minty leapt up in the air a little. It was just as bright from above! “Oh, pink’s okay, I guess!” she said, panting just a bit in excitement. “Eheh, it’s no green, though. Can you do a green light too?!”

“No, I’m a pink unicorn, not a green one! The only green unicorn I know is Feeling Flitter, and she, uh, she, um, gee…” Rarity’s face fell, and she sat dejectedly on the stony ground, though her horn continued to shine above her head despite her sudden mood change. “She’s okay, I guess. I want to go see Wysteria. Can we see Wysteria now? Please?”

“Of course,” said Kimono. “If you’ll follow me, your light will let me lead the way.”

The underground staircase was long and twisting, but felt positively quick after climbing up the mountain to begin with. It also helped that there was so much to look at along the way. The steps themselves were carved very unevenly, but the walls of the staircase were completely covered in stone flowers of all shapes and sizes. Minty, who was once again bringing up the rear, was no gardener, but Wysteria had always been, and these stone walls were every bit as pretty and varisome as the gardens she had tended before becoming their almighty princess. Desert Rose had taken over tending to Wysteria’s flowers, but Minty didn’t think they were quite as pretty under Dezzy’s care as they’d been before.

Really, the only thing missing from these wallflowers (heheh) was the colors. The flowers in Ponyville came in even more colors than Rainbow Dash, but these were all the same: dark gray, made pink by Rarity’s magical glowing horn. It was a very peaceful sight, but it was still missing some of the normal excitement of a flowerbed. And she supposed she also missed the sunlight, which was what really made a day of lying happily in the flowers complete. Of course, Minty realized, if she found herself missing the sun and colors just after looking at the rocks for a few minutes, what must Wysteria think…?

But that was a really sad thought, and she bet nopony wanted to hear it. “Hey, Kimono!” she called instead. “These flowers look super-great. Gee, you and Wysteria must have put a whole lot of time into them!”

“Yes… few hooves make heavy work, but we have managed.”

Minty clicked her tongue in worry. Kimono sounded peeved again, and this time Rarity hadn’t been not listening to any of her stories to set her off. “Are you okay, Kimmy?”

“Fine, Minty.” Minty froze for half a second—Kimono didn’t always call everypony ‘my friend,’ but that time had sounded awfully deliberate. “My reasons for displeasure are none of your concern.”

Minty sighed and looked down at her pinker-than-usual hooves. No matter how smart and clever Kimono was, she was wrong. It was totally Minty’s concern. She really didn’t want to lose another friend.

At the bottom of the staircase was a huge, round, nearly empty cavern. It was lit by itself, so Rarity’s magic glow faded away, leaving them all to look around while their eyes adjusted to light that wasn’t pink. The cavern’s sides were engraved with yet more flowers, and the floor was large and uneven, rising and falling in various places and colored somewhere between blue and green. Princesses sure had strange floors. It didn’t quite feel like stone, either, though Minty couldn’t tell what it did feel like. At the center of the chamber sat a familiar pony, who appeared to be staring downwards morosely. Her shoulders were slumped, and her hooves clutched a large green book.

Kimono stepped forward into the cavern. “Princess Wysteria!” she called, sounding more cheerful than she had in the staircase. “Your sage bids you welcome!”

“Oh, Kimono, hello!” The pony—Princess Wysteria, of course—leapt to her hooves and galloped to Kimono, wrapping her in a hug. Princess Wysteria was probably the most elegant-looking pony Minty knew, with a lovely soft voice, kind turquoise eyes, and an almost-pale purple coat. Her symbol was a bunch of little flowers—wisteria blossoms, Minty assumed—but that all paled beside her mane and tail, which were long, utterly straight, and silky, and flowed freely through the air at even the faintest hint of a breeze. They were the same color as her coat, but ranged from the darkest of purples to almost white, and they made Kimono’s own purple mane look quite dull in comparison as the two ponies embraced. Many times Minty had seen Daffidazey reach over and start tending to Wysteria’s mane even without meaning to. Minty grabbed a bit of her own mane, forever bright pink and untamable, and glared at it.

“I didn’t know you were visiting today,” Princess Wysteria was saying. “Am I forgetting something? Or is this a social call?”

“Neither, I’m afraid,” said Kimono, and Minty could just barely see her frown. “Well, I suppose it is the Rainbow Celebration tomorrow.”

“Oh, hooray, hooray!” Princess Wysteria clapped her hooves in delight, and Minty again watched jealously as her mane billowed gracefully out around her. “I love the Rainbow Celebration! Oh, I suppose it’s no Spring Parade, for example, but it is a party, and where there are parties, there are flowers!” She stopped and placed a sudden hoof on her chin. “Kimono… do you suppose princesses can command anyone? Could I give Pinkie Pie a royal order to create more parties?”

“That might not be necessary, your highness.”

“Oh, I know, I know.” Princess Wysteria laughed lightly. “But I do love the parties. As Ponyville’s Only Princess, I’m expected to attend, so I get to see all my wonderful friends! …I mean subjects.”

Kimono cleared her throat. “Yes, your highness, but…”

Princess Wysteria cut her off, exclaiming “Rainbowberries!” Minty remembered Wysteria as quiet and reserved, but now she seemed so excited, her words all but a joyful flood. Minty supposed that she mustn’t have many opportunities to talk to anypony, cooped up here with only her supposed dragon, wherever it was. “The Rainbow Celebration’s all about rainbowberries, isn’t it? Do you think Sweetberry would let me pick them with her, like we used to? I know, Princesses Do Not Dig In The Dirt, but they’ll be on bushes, and it’ll be a party, and oh, just this once…”

“I’m sure your subjects would grant you any request.” Kimono pointed behind her. “Look, I brought you a familiar face!”

“Minty!” Princess Wysteria rushed forward again and gave Minty her own hug to match Kimono’s. She smelled of lavender and bubbling fountains, and Minty wondered if all princesses automatically smelled perfect or if Princess Wysteria was really just that elegant. Her coat was short, yet soft and fluffy, which only compounded the question. “Oh, Minty, how are you?”

“Oh, eheh, I’m all right!” Minty reached up to scratch the back of her neck with one hoof. “I’ve had one hay of a day, though! Sweetberry and I had a fight, and I fell in a river, and gee, I fell off a mountain too! I mean, gosh!”

“Oh, Minty, Minty, Minty.” Princess Wysteria smiled at her warmly as she withdrew the hug. “You were always so adventurous! Did you bring any of the others with you?” She blinked quickly three times in a row, apparently realizing what she’d said. “Oh, I mean, not that I don’t like you! But it’s been so long since anyone besides Kimono, and, I’d hoped maybe Daisyjo, or…”

Minty patted her, knowing it was an awkward move but not sure what else to do. “Don’t worry, your princessness,” she said. “Gee, I mean, I’m kind of used to it.”

Princess Wysteria gasped the faintest of quiet gasps. “Used to what…? What do you mean?”

Five months. Five months was how long it’d been since plain old friendly gardener Wysteria had become Princess Wysteria, ruler of Equestria (or maybe of Ponyville… her title wasn’t very clearly defined). But Minty had ruined the Winter Wishes Festival only three months ago, and Princess Wysteria had long since moved into the mountain by then. So if she was asking what Minty meant, then that implied she didn’t know! And if her almighty monarch, who probably had all sorts of powers to exile her or banish her or even send her away forever, didn’t know that she’d done anything wrong, well, Minty couldn’t see any reason to change that. Granted, her conscience wasn’t on board, but surely not getting banished was more important.

“Never mind!” she said, not looking at Kimono in case she might disapprove. “No big deal. Ooh, hey, but we did bring you somepony else! Meet Rarity the unicorn!” She looked around the cavern. “Uh… where is she?”

“Hiding!”

“You can come out, young Rarity,” said Kimono. “It’s safe here, and this is the Princess Wysteria that we told you of. Remember, the pony whom you had your message for?”

Princess Wysteria’s face brightened. “Oh, do come out! I love meeting new friends, I mean, subjects.” Her eyes twinkled a little. “I’ll even let you look at my princess book, if you like.”

“Oh… okay!” Rarity stepped into view from the entry staircase, where she’d evidently been hiding. She looked even smaller than usual inside the massive cavern. “Hi, Princess!”

“Please, just Wysteria.”

“Hi Princess Wysteria!”

“No… oh, well, close enough. Hello, Rarity.”

Rarity giggled. “No, no, that’s not how royalty talk. Cheerilee would scold you for forgetting my title! Maybe you need a Cheerilee of your own.” She trotted forwards and held out one hoof, which might have looked extremely regal from an older pony. “Come on, try it again. Say ‘hello, Princess Rarity.’ ”

Everypony gasped as one, except of course Rarity, who just giggled some more. “Whoah!” she said. “You guys look funny with your mouths open! Didn’t I mention I was a princess before?”

Kimono was the first to recover, and bowed herself low to the ground. Minty quickly followed suit, absently trying to remember what Rarity smelled like. “You did not, your highness. Please forgive me for calling you ‘young one’ and the like.”

“Oh, that’s okay!” said Rarity, though Minty couldn’t tell what she was doing while staring at the ground. “Princess Wysteria and I have to call each other by our proper titles, but you ponies can say whatever you want. Uh, except ‘Rarity the unicorn.’ That’s just kinda dumb.”

Princess Wysteria gasped a second time. “You do have a horn! Kimono, I thought you said the unicorns were all gone!”

Kimono raised herself from the ground, again followed by Minty, who sat back on a particularly comfortable part of the weird floor to listen to the conversation. “I did,” said Kimono. “And I thought I was right. This young princess has quite a story to tell, I believe, but one she insisted was only for your ears.”

“You can say anything you want in front of Kimono and Minty!” said Princess Wysteria, and Minty grinned at her gratefully. “I trust them.”

Rarity frowned and furrowed her brow, obviously not totally convinced. “Well… all right, then! You’re Princess Wysteria, so I trust you, so I trust anypony you trust. I guess I’d better start from the beginning, huh?

“Like I said, my name’s Rarity, and I’m the princess of Unicornia. That’s the name of our city. We live way north from here, I think, by a bunch of mountains. We have lots of fun and bounce on giant bubbles and stuff, but Cheerilee—she’s my teacher—says we also have to be really serious, because unicorns are in charge of the whole world. My dad and mom move the sun and moon around and around every day, for example, and lots of us handle the clouds and rain and stuff, and because I’m the princess, I’m in charge of rainbows!

“Every year, me and Cheerilee and Brights Brightly and Whistle Wishes—those are some more unicorns, they’re yellow and blue—get together and put our horns together and make the first rainbow of spring. It has all our four colors, and if we don’t do it, there won’t be any more rainbows for the whole year! You girls were talking about some kind of ‘Rainbow Celebration,’ so I guess you see it all the way down here too. But, uh, it looks like that won’t be happening this year… or the sun and moon… uh, or anything else.

“See, mom and dad try and keep me out when they’re talking about politics, but I’m a really good hider. So I know there’s this place called the Crystal Empire up in the mountains above Unicornia, which is supposed to be where these ‘jewel ponies’ live. And then this guy called ‘King Sombra’ showed up recently and took over the whole Crystal Empire, so now all the jewel ponies are his slaves. I can kinda see why dad didn’t want me snooping, but come on! I’m the princess! I’ve gotta know about this stuff, right?

“I wasn’t too worried, ’cause me and Cheerilee and the others had the first rainbow to think about! But then, this morning, he… King Sombra…” Rarity faltered, blinked, and stopped talking. She stared at the ground, and Minty could see her eyes beginning to water.

Princess Wysteria came to Rarity’s side and put a hoof around her. “There, there,” she said. “Don’t worry. Tell us in your own time.”

“No, I’m trying, I’m trying!” said Rarity. She wiped her face and stomped one hoof. “Sombra invaded Unicornia and captured everypony but me!” Everyone gasped again. “Yeah! He was coming for me too, so I made a run for it on top of the castle, and when I got to the edge, I jumped! And I jumped, and I jumped, and I just kept jumping, until whoah, I landed in some river. And then when I woke up, I was in this pony’s net!” She pointed at Kimono. “So I’m all right, but Sombra’s probably going to come here next, and if you’re in charge, you’d better do something to stop him! Because Cheerilee… and Brights Brightly, and my parents, and…”

Rarity burst into tears. Kimono quickly joined Princess Wysteria at her side, and after a few seconds Minty did too, and they all stood silently while Rarity wept and sobbed and occasionally muttered names, which Minty guessed must belong to more of the lost unicorns from Unicornia. That was really sort of a silly name, wasn’t it? Not nearly as good as Ponyville, which… okay, never mind.

By the time Rarity had calmed down, Wysteria’s face was thoughtful. She looked down. “Spike, what do you make of all this?”

Minty raised her eyebrows. “Spike? Who’s Spike? Wait, is he your dragon? That sounds like a dragon name! Oh, where is he?”

Suddenly the floor bucked and rolled beneath them. “Right here,” said a deep voice, and from the featureless floor emerged an enormous head with big orange ears, huge long purple spikes, and immense blue-green eyes. Minty and Rarity took one look at the head and screamed. The enormous head opened its own mouth too, but after several long seconds of screaming, Minty realized that it wasn’t roaring, but laughing.

“Ah ha ha ha… I never get tired of that!” The face, which Minty supposed must belong to the dragon, whose body she realized was actually the entire floor of the cavern, grinned hugely, displaying its enormous silvery fangs in the process. “Ah, but dear me, where are my manners? Hello, girls. My name is Master Kenbroath Gillspotten Heathspike… but as subjects of Princess Wysteria, you may call me simply Spike.”

“Hey! I’m not anypony’s subject!” yelled Rarity, startled out of her screaming.

“How right you are, Princess!” Spike’s voice was old and dangerous, like a massive forge, yet Minty couldn’t deny that he sounded more amused than angry. “Princess Rarity of Unicornia, welcome! I hope you and Princess Wysteria of Ponyville get along fabulously.”

“I’m sure we will, Spike,” said Princess Wysteria. “Spike… does this sound familiar? Unicornia, the Crystal Empire, King Sombra?”

Spike snorted, and Minty felt her mane stand on end from the rush of air. Princess Wysteria’s mane and tail merely streamed behind her beautifully. “They must be from past my time, Princess! Although the Crystal Empire does sound familiar, except I thought it was the purse ponies who lived there. A lot of names can change in a thousand years!”

Kimono nodded. “But you had instructions from far-seeing Princess Crystal. Was there no mention of any of this?”

“Only of Princess Rarity.” Princess Wysteria looked shocked, and Spike nodded, which was very impressive for a head the size of Minty’s house. “I’m sorry, Princess; I haven’t been entirely truthful with you. Crystal’s prophecy stated that two Princesses would rule Equestria, not just one. But now the other Princess has arrived, and you both can live happily ever after! Ah, Bartleby! Ah, Equinity! …no, wait, I believe that last part’s from a different story altogether.”

“He does that a lot,” Princess Wysteria whispered to Minty. “But he’s really mostly very nice, I promise.”

Minty gulped. She didn’t think she liked that ‘mostly’ part. “So what are you gonna do?”

“Yes, your highness,” said Kimono. “Rarity says that Ponyville may soon—or already!—be in danger. What is your plan?”

“My plan?” Princess Wysteria stared at them both in terror. “I’m a gardener! Why would I have a plan against somepony who just took over two entire cities!?”

The-floor-that-was-Spike shifted, and the ponies all fell over from the sudden movement. “Ah, ah,” said Spike, sounding disappointed. “You’re not a gardener. Not anymore! You’re a Princess now, ever since you picked that flower, and Princesses Protect Their Subjects.”

“Oh, that’s not my point at all!” Wysteria groaned. “Spike, of course I want to protect my fr—subjects! Being a princess doesn’t change that. But all I know how to do is plant flowers. I need somepony clever, like Kimono here, or Puzzlemint, and we’d need to be in Ponyville to do anything, and…” She stopped. “Spike, I need to go to Ponyville.”

“Princess, Princess, Princess.” Spike sounded more disappointed than ever, though at least he didn’t sound inclined to do anything violent. “You can’t go to Ponyville whenever you like! Princesses Stay In Their Castles, except for during special festivities, when they put in royal appearances to gladden the common heart! You have been reading your princess book, haven’t you?”

Princess Wysteria looked like she was about to cry, so Minty gave her a little squeeze. “I have, I have, I promise. But… you want me to protect my subjects, and to stay here? How am I supposed do that?”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way! Princesses are very clever. Wait, let me try that again… Princesses Are Very Clever. Yes, that came out quite nicely! Goodness, I wish I could add it to the book. Hmm hmm hmm, if I weren’t so huge, but I suppose that’s what happens when you sleep for a thousand years…”

“Princess Wysteria…” Kimono sighed. “It’s all right if you stay here, really. I’m sure your subjects will understand, and—“

Princess Wysteria sobbed. “I don’t… I don’t care what my subjects think!” Her voice was small but insistent. “I care what my friends think, and I care what I think, and that’s what should be important! I’m a princess!”

“And because of that,” said Spike, “you are far less free than anypony else.”

“Hey, what about me!?” asked Rarity. She kicked angrily at Spike, with no obvious effect. “I left my home, didn’t I? Why the hay can’t Princess Wysteria do that too?”

“Of course you did, Princess Rarity! It’s perfectly acceptable for a Princess to flee a place that is being invaded, or when she’s being held captive by a cruel monster. To leave whenever she selfishly wants to, however, even if her kingdom may be in danger at some point in the future… that’s not proper at all!”

As the argument boiled around her, Minty looked thoughtfully at Princess Wysteria. Minty had had some experience recently being unhappy, and wanting her friends back, and it felt like poor Princess Wysteria was in pretty much the same situation. But she hadn’t lost her friends because they hated her… she’d lost them because she’d become their ruler, and they didn’t think they were her friends anymore, only her subjects.

And, that she realized, was what Kimono had been angry about, wasn’t it? Kimono believed that Princess Wysteria—no, just ‘Wysteria’ was fine, like she’d said—really was one of the two Princesses from that prophecy thing, but she was also Wysteria’s friend, and she knew that Wysteria was unhappy living like this. She knew that, because she didn’t see Wysteria only when she was making ‘royal appearances’ at Ponyville’s various parties and doing her best to look happy because Princesses Look Happy or something. And she wished more ponies would come and visit Wysteria, because she was their friend, and she’d said as much only Minty hadn’t understood it at the time.

As for what Wysteria herself wanted, that was obvious. She wanted to go back to Ponyville, even if none of her friends besides maybe Kimono had ever realized that. But now Minty had a chance to make it up to her a little and be a better friend, if she could only find some way to get around Spike, who she was sure could crush them all in a moment if he wanted. Kimono had said that he was trapped inside the mountain forever, so he wouldn’t be able to chase them, but she still didn’t see any way of getting Wysteria out of the cavern and up the stairs without his approval.

So what did Spike want? He was really confusing, because he had all his rules about proper behavior and that was all he wanted to talk about. But he had to like Wysteria, didn’t he? She couldn’t imagine gentle Wysteria staying here all this time unless they at least got along. And he had said, almost without prompting, that Princesses Protect Their Subjects, so maybe he wanted the same thing Minty did: an excuse to get Wysteria out of the castle, where she could help her friends any way that she could. If she was right, then all Minty had to do was find a hole in his rules that would make Wysteria’s leaving proper.

It was the Rainbow Celebration tomorrow, naturally, but it only lasted a few hours, and she doubted that Spike would accept that as an excuse for Wysteria’s leaving permanently. So what were the other options? ‘It’s perfectly acceptable for a Princess to flee a place that is being invaded,’he’d said, or…

“Spike!”

The giant dragon looked down at her. “Yes? Let me see, you were… Minty, yes?”

“Yep, that’s me! You said Wysteria could leave somewhere if there was a monster holding her captive, right?”

“If there were a monster. Grammar, please!” Spike rolled his enormous eyes. “But yes, that would be proper.”

“Well,” she continued, “would a giant dragon that won’t let her leave count?”

Spike made a choking sound, and seemed to think about it. Minty looked nervously around her. Kimono looked very impressed; Wysteria was staring at her hopefully through tear-stained eyes; Rarity looked bored. “Well…” said Spike eventually, “yes. Why, yes, I suppose it would. Princesses Don’t Rescue Themselves, however! She’d need a Prince or some other Hero to come and save her.”

“Gee, is that all?” Minty giggled happily. “I’m a hero.”

There was a long silence as everyone stared at her. Wysteria choked out a request for Minty to tell her someday exactly what had been happening while she’d been holed up in the mountain. Even Rarity was now interested. “What do you mean, my friend?” asked Kimono.

“Heheh, wow. Normally when everyone’s looking at me, it’s because I broke something!” Minty smiled, almost nostalgic. “See, before I accidentally visited Kimono, I was talking to Skywishes, and she made one of her extra special wishes that always come true that I would do something that’d make me a hero! I had no idea what I was gonna do, but gosh, rescuing a princess from a dragon sounds pretty heroic to me, right?”

Spike continued to look at her, and Minty began to worry that he might be about to set her on fire, assuming he could even do that. He tilted his head back, and she flinched, but instead of flames all that came from his mouth was wave after wave of laughter, loud enough to flatten them all against his scaly back. “Ah ha ha ha!” he cried, finally calming down. “Heroic indeed! Very well, little Minty! You have my permission to rescue Princess Wysteria from me.”

“Thanks!” Minty punched a hoof into the air in victory, but then froze as another question occurred to her. “Uh… you aren’t going to fight me to keep her, are you? Like, I have no idea how I could fight you, and…”

“No, no, not at all!” Spike leaned forward and winked enormously. “I rather like her, you know. She wants to be among her subjects, and now there’s a proper way to do that, why should I stand in her way?”

Wysteria smiled. “Thank you, Spike. I… I like you too, you know, and I’ll bring your princess book along. I hope you won’t be too lonely up here, and I promise I’ll visit you when this is all over.”

“Ha ha, don’t worry about me! Go save your subjects, Princess, and whatever happens to you on the way, in this enchanted place on the top of this mountain, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing… no, no, that’s the wrong story again.” He sighed. “Well, I’ll manage somehow.”

“Let’s go, let’s go!” said Rarity, the pink light already forming around her horn again. “King Sombra could show up at any time!”

“Well done, my friend,” said Kimono. “I can only hope for wisdom like you have shown here today.”

“Thank you, Minty,” said Wysteria, and kissed her on the cheek, leftover tears mixing in with the wetness of the kiss. “Let’s go help my friends… I mean my subjects… no, I mean my friends!”

Minty grinned, excited and also very embarrassed.

Author's Note

Esoteric details: all the thousand-years-ago names (which is to say, two thousand years before Twilight Sparkle) are G2 ponies. Adventurous Sundance was renamed in later releases to Sunsparkle, and at one point Queen Sunsparkle; she did indeed discover the Rainbow Forest. The Purse Ponies' names all began with "Glitter," which is as close as you can get to crystal-themed in a generation where every pony had jewels in their eyes. Princess Silver Swirl and the other five Princesses were the first wave of G2 Princess Ponies; Silver Swirl and Twinkle Star were actually G2's first unicorn and pegasus, not last, but artistic license strikes again. G2 was the only generation not to have a dragon character called Spike, but it did have exactly one dragon: an unnamed animal companion, belonging to Princess Silver Swirl. G3 Rarity was frequently referred to in merchandise as "Rarity the Unicorn," presumably to make it very very clear that she had a horn. G3 had very few unicorns released at all... the number of animation-only background unicorns outstrips the number of canon ones by a fair margin, but "Feeling Flitter" (I suspect, a fan nickname) is still the only green unicorn ever seen (albeit only briefly). Spike references Bartleby, the Scrivener and Winnie-the-Pooh.

The Scouring of Ponyville

Oh… that’s a tough question.

I never thought I couldn’t leave, if that’s what you mean. I know Spike seems very scary, even if Kimono says he’s trapped inside the mountain. But I think that’s why I stayed, more than anything? It’s not that I was afraid, or because he forced me to, but because there was nothing he could really do at all. The poor boy had nowhere to go, and no one but me to talk to him.

Can you even imagine, Minty? Living in the same place, day in and day out, without any friends to speak to? And… oh! Did I say something wrong? No? Well, I’m sorry, whatever it was, really.

Did you hear what he said about me leaving? It’s fine, so long as I don’t do it selfishly. Well, I guess that’s where I got stuck. Ponyville doesn’t really need a princess, does it? You—we—you all get along fine without one, really truly. Pinkie’s a natural leader, and Kimono, you’re so wise, and all I do is garden, and plenty of other ponies do that! But Spike… Spike needed me, to keep him company. If I was strong enough to give myself to him, instead of living for myself, which is really what staying in Ponyville would have meant… well, wasn’t that reason enough?

I’m sorry, I don’t know if I’m making any sense! Maybe it doesn’t really make sense to me either. You know, at first being Ponyville’s First Princess sounded so nice! Spike meant nothing but the best by giving me the job, and all you girls were so happy for me when you heard the news, and I was happy too! I’d never really felt special before, and suddenly everypony was treating me so wonderfully. I… what? Oh, that’s very sweet of you, Minty. But it’s all right, you can be honest… I didn’t need to be special to be happy.

But then Kimono found her story about Princess Silver Swirl and the others, and how much good they did for Equestria, and how powerful they were. How was I supposed to measure up to that? They trapped Spike in the mountain for a thousand years… if I really wanted to be a really good and proper Princess, I needed to let him out somehow, right? Spike had his princess book, and the three of us—Kimono too, I mean—started studying it. Princesses Don’t Dig In The Dirt, and Princesses Always Floss Their Teeth, and Princesses Are Always Generous, and so on and on.

So that’s a pretty complicated answer, isn’t it? There was more good for me to do here than in my silly little flowerbeds. And if I could be proper enough, maybe I could do a whole lot of good. And those instructions for being proper also were instructing me not to go to Ponyville, unless I had to for Princessy reasons, of course. All those ideas just kept growing and growing, taking root all over my head, until today and I couldn’t even leave unless Spike said it was okay first! I’m sorry, Minty, but I think your poor monarch is really a very silly pony at heart. I just wish I knew what I could do to help with this King Sombra problem.

No, no, of course I don’t want to go back into that cave. I mean, I’ll go back when this is all over, to visit! Hopefully not to start living there again… even after all that stuff I said, I really wasn’t very happy living there. And I have the princess book, and Rarity, to help me figure out how to keep improving myself, but out in the world, where I belong! Like I said, Minty, all those thoughts keeping me there were like a big thick plant growing everywhere in my head. There’s a name for that kind of plant: a weed. Oh, I hate to say that awful word! And there’s only one good way to get rid of, oh, weeds, and that’s to dig them up, but like I said, Princesses Don’t Dig In The Dirt. That’s what you did, Minty. You pulled out the weed that was choking me, and now I can grow freely again, and oh, I hope I’m a really beautiful flower, don’t you?

To Minty’s surprise—and relief—they were not returning to Ponyville the same way they’d come. Spike had remembered a secret passage that led to somewhere around the base of the mountain, and had (somewhat peevishly) insisted that a really proper Princess-rescuing mission should really make use of a secret passage if there was already one to be had. She and Wysteria were both still grateful to Spike for letting her go, and Kimono and Rarity felt pretty neutral about it, so they all agreed to take the secret passage and see how it treated them.

The secret opened into the very back of Spike’s cavern, opposite from the staircase they’d taken to get there, but Minty felt that calling it a ‘passage’ was something of a stretch. Really it was more of a long, semi-convenient hole in the stones: barely pony-sized at all, mostly vertical, and totally lacking in stairs or other features that would appear to have been designed. Curiously, she noticed in the light from Rarity’s horn, the rock surface was all stained with soot. Could this passage have been some kind of chimney? But from what? What kind of crazy pony would keep a fireplace underground, or even live underground in the first place? Heh, no offense to Wysteria, of course! She’d had her reasons… although, Minty supposed, anypony else could have had their own reasons as well.

Chimney or not, it was an unpleasant trip, and Wysteria almost dropped her princess book several times. They all had to stand on their hind legs most of the time, carefully lowering themselves downwards crag over crag. It was steeper than the mountain’s face, but the irregular rocks made it almost like climbing down more stairs, instead of walking down a slope and trying desperately not to slip and slide. If Minty tripped here, she might and did bash her back on the side of the passage, but she probably wouldn’t go falling forever like on the outside of the mountain. Overall she guessed it was an improvement, but neither were great options, and she was glad Wysteria had decided to stop living here so she wouldn’t have to worry about visiting this place ever again.

Not that she’d ever visited it before, of course. Wysteria was right—they had all been happy for her in Ponyville! A simple gardener becoming royalty was such an awesome idea, and she’d been happy too, and they’d all smiled and treated her nicely because they all liked treating each other nicely anyway. Hmmph, for the most part. Princess Wysteria was just a fun excuse to go really all out, pull out all nine yards and go the whole stops! And then… what had gone wrong?

Nothing, she guessed. Or, at least, there wasn’t any time when anything specific had gone wrong. It was way more awful and gradual than that. The less they’d seen Wysteria, the more she’d felt like Princess Wysteria, so much more important than them. If they didn’t see her, it must have been that she was busy doing important royalty things, protecting Ponyville from… something. If there was ever a disagreement, there was the question of whether it was really important enough to bother Her Royal Highness Princess Wysteria about, and the answer was always no. So Ponyville had gone on living exactly like it always had—except without Wysteria to live there with them—and Minty, in the three months after the horrible Winter Wishes Festival accident, had never once thought to talk to her about it. Her problems were normal non-royalty problems, and Princess Wysteria was too busy doing whatever it was she did, which was very very important.

In reality, it turned out, what Wysteria’d been doing was a bunch of sitting around sadly and keeping a weird old dragon company. But she’d done that because she thought it was important, so gosh, maybe they hadn’t been so wrong after all? Hmm! Not the protecting Ponyville from unknown enemies part, of course, but the important royal duties part? If nothing else, how Wysteria had spent her time as royalty said a lot about who she was. Minty rather suspected that if she’d been made Princess of Ponyville, she’d have ‘buggered it all for a lark,’ as Puzzlemint would put it. Why spend all her time moping up in a mountain, when she could go roller-skating instead?

Although she guessed mountain-moping wasn’t a built-in part of princessitude. It sounded like Rarity’s parents were in charge of Unicornia, so she’d probably gotten to be a princess through them instead of by picking a thousand-year-old flower. So maybe a Princess Minty could still get away with roller-skating, except she’d be able to say a whole day was devoted to roller-skating and everyone in Ponyville would have to participate, and there’d be a roller-skate parade, and candy, and socks, and green streamers, and green balloons, and yeah she’d probably get called out for abuse of power preeeeeeeeetty quickly. Heheh, oh well. But there had to be some kind of middle ground!

“Hey Rarity!” she said. “What’s it like being a princess? Do you have to sit in a cave all the time, or do you get to throw cool parties?”

“Oh, it’s awesome!” said Rarity. Kimono began to say something about trying not to trigger unhappy memories, but Rarity kept on going. “I have loads of fun! Everypony knows I’m super special, so I get to do whatever I want!”

Minty frowned. That… didn’t really sound any different from life in Ponyville? Sure, Sweetberry had her Sweet Shoppe to take care of, but if she wanted to, there was nothing stopping her for closing it for the day and going fishing. And Minty couldn’t think of the last time she’d followed anypony’s drummer but her own. But if all the unicorns were supposed to be serious ponies who ran Equestria’s weather, maybe they had a really different society? She squeaked at the sudden mental image of countless unicorns strapped down to tables, forced cruelly to control the weather but not allowed to do anything else with their lives. Rarity seemed nice enough, but she was really only a filly…

“So, uh…” Minty floundered for a careful way to ask her question, and almost slipped and fell onto a sharp point in the rocky wall. “Is that… weird? Doing whatever you want?”

“Nah! Everyone in Unicornia does that. But I’m the princes, so I’m too special to ever get in trouble, no matter how much I goof off.”

Wysteria caught Minty’s worried eye in the flickering horn light. “Do most unicorns get in trouble for goofing off?” she asked, softly.

Rarity blew air out between her teeth and giggled. “Just for goofing up. But, uh, Cheerilee says that I whenever I goof off, it turns into goofing up! Sometimes I don’t really listen to her, and then I get some magic wrong and there’s a big puff of smoke, and she scowls, but I know she loves me. Everyone loves me!”

“Oh,” said Wysteria. Minty could just see her chewing on her lip. “Um, my book says that Princesses Never Make Mistakes. Do you not have that rule in Unicornia?”

“I dunno.” Rarity jumped downward onto another rocky ‘step,’ moving her light too far away for Minty to see Wysteria anymore. They quickened their descent after her—this wasn’t a very nice place to get separated in. “I’m not really into rules,” Rarity was saying. “Except sometimes I make Cheerilee teach me a rule so I can break it! Does that count?”

Wysteria laughed. “I’m sure I don’t know,” she said. “But I can tell you and Minty will be great friends. She goofs up all the time, and nopony gets mad at her either.”

Minty coughed violently, but managed to turn it into a giggle fit. “Eheh, wow, yes, heh, me, yeah! Wacky Minty, that’s right! …what are you talking about?”

“Oh, you know!” Wysteria was visible again, and she looked quite amused. “You’re always bringing amusement to Ponyville, Minty. Remember when we were putting together Pinkie’s birthday surprise?”

Minty felt her ears go flat against the sides of her head. That had been a goof up, all right. She’d misread Razzaroo’s birthday book and thought Pinkie Pie’s birthday was the day before it actually was, and everyone in Ponyville had gotten together to paint the town pink a day early. But that wasn’t really an amusement thing, so what was Wysteria talking about? Unless… oh. Minty’s cheeks erupted into scarlet. “You mean when I kissed Sparkleworks.”

Rarity stopped short, and Kimono bumped into her. They both flailed for a moment, but neither ended up falling. Recovered, Rarity turned up toward Minty, face literally aglow. “You’ve got a boyfriend!” she cried. “You didn’t tell me! Are you getting married? When? Can I be the priest? Cheerilee says I’m the best at marriages, and I only set the bridal vows on fire one time! What’s he like? Does he have a nice house?”

Minty tried very hard to creep into a crevice in the rocks and disappear. Unfortunately it was at least five times smaller than she was. “I’m not marrying Sparkleworks!” she said instead, as Wysteria and Kimono started to laugh.

“Aww.” Rarity’s face looked genuinely unhappy. “Why not? Are you afraid of commitment?”

“No, I mean yes, I mean… Sparkleworks isn’t even a boy!”

“Oh.” Rarity stared up at her, clearly confused. “But you, you’re… and she… but…” Her eyes went wide. “Ewwww!!!”

Minty glared at Wysteria, who was still laughing, though maybe hopefully now at Rarity instead of her. “Gosh, really, it was an accident! I was turning around, and my lips were on my face, and she had lips too, and we crashed. You’re saying none of you’ve ever kissed anyone by mistake?” Nopony said anything. “Oh, come on! Really?” Still nothing. “Not even a little?”

Wysteria raised a cautious hoof. “I, uh, might have kissed one of my flowers once? And, oh, for what it’s worth, I thought it was a very nice kiss. There were pink flowers and glitter in the air all around you two.”

“Oh, eheh, yeah, I guess.” Minty had to smile at that one. Of course, there was pretty much always glitter in the air when you crashed into Sparkleworks—she carried it around as often as not. And the flowers had been Wysteria’s fault for a change. But she and Sparkleworks were just friends, and not even very close ones, even if she did hang out with Sunny Daze. She said as much, and Kimono and Wysteria laughed again, and Rarity looked less freaked out.

“Actually,” said Wysteria after calming down, “I was talking about the paint can.”

“Ohhhhh!” Minty giggled, and they all resumed their slow trek down the secret passage. “Heheh, that was so weird! I was painting a sign, and everypony was laughing, and the next thing I knew I’d fallen in a big bucket of pink paint!”

Rarity gasped. “Wow! I’ve never fallen in a paint bucket before! Was it fun?”

“Uh… mostly!”

“Awesome!” Rarity’s laughter was innocent and infectious, and Minty joined in, happy to move on past talking about the kiss. Not that Sparkleworks had tasted bad—though she had nothing on mint ice cream, heheh—but still, golly, awkward! “I’ve never fallen into paint,” said Rarity. “Oh, but I did wrap myself up in lights last year! It took a whole bunch of unicorns to get me out, and we were nearly late for the Rainbow Lights Party too!”

“Oh my!” Kimono put a hoof to her mouth in surprise, and Minty and Wysteria shared a quiet laugh. Minty could just imagine how excited Kimono must be to hear about Unicornia, after her years of wistful stories about the unicorns of old. “Is that one of your unicorn holidays?”

“Yeah, you don’t have it?” Kimono shook her head. “Whoah, you’re missing out. The Rainbow Lights Party is only the most spectacular night ever! All Unicornia gets covered in lights, and I bet we could be seen from space! We do it every year the night before the first rainbow, so... well, we’d be doing it tonight, if King Sombra hadn’t shown up. But we’re gonna kick his butt, right? Two princesses, and a hero, and… uh, what’s your deal again?”

“My deal?” asked Kimono, as Minty ran her tongue nervously across her teeth. “Ah, young one, I’m no adventurer. Books call to me far more than the open road. But please, tell me more about your holidays?”

“Well… all right.” Rarity shook herself and skipped carelessly downwards. “I guess we can make do with three. Let’s see, okay. There’s the Spring Festival, that one’s totally old. There’s lots of dancing and flowers and stuff. It’s even older than Hearts and Hooves Day, Cheerilee says, but I mean, who really knows at this point?”

“Oh… hold on,” said Wysteria. “Did you say Hearts and Hooves Day, Rarity?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh, we have that one too!” She sighed happily and just missed hitting her head on a big flat stone. “Everypony gives each other presents, to signify how important our friendships are. I gave Daisyjo and Desert Rose flowers! Of course, they gave me flowers too…”

Minty nudged her. “Ooh, hey, don’t forget the photos! Everypony gets their photos taken and put in a big box in the castle, so we can see how much we’ve grown up since last year! Gosh, heheh, Rainbow Dash refuses to look. She says she—“ Minty preened herself and put on her best Rainbow Dash impression “—cannot look at photos of those hideous old hairdos, darling!” She laughed, and Wysteria and Kimono joined in. “Is it the same in Unicornia?”

“No.” Rarity sounded distant. “We, uh, don’t do any of that. Or anything. It’s just a day where everyone sits around and is kinda sad. Cheerilee says that Hearts and Hooves Day is about remembering how we unicorns got split off from the rest of Equestria, except nopony actually remembers, so we just act unhappy instead. When I rule Unicornia, I’m gonna kick it right out of the calendar!” She kicked hard at the rock wall, and Minty winced empathetically. “…hey, books pony,” she continued. “Do you know what happened way back then?”

Kimono ducked her head, and Minty thought she sounded embarrassed, like not knowing something from a couple thousand years ago was something to be ashamed of. “I’m afraid not. No one still remembers what happened to split the ponies apart into our separate tribes… this is the first I’ve even heard of Hearts and Hooves Day being connected. As Princess Wysteria and Minty said, in our village it has become purely a day of celebration.”

“Aww, that sucks. Hey, I… whoah!”

Rarity, then Kimono, then Wysteria, then finally Minty stepped out of the long and cramped secret passageway and onto a wide plateau of crumbly blue rock. Minty wandered few feet away from the passageway, to where the rocky platform ended, and stuck her head down. There was nothing but blackness below. She wasn’t remotely sure how high up they were, relative to Ponyville, but the immense black pit in front of her felt like it went down even farther than that. She grabbed a loose bit of rock and tossed it down; there was no sound.

“Oh, Minty, look at this!” Wysteria sounded delighted. “Sparkleworks would love this place!”

“Huh?” Minty turned around and gasped. The wall from which they’d come wasn’t the same blue or gray stone as everything else. It was reflective instead of dull, smooth instead of bumpy, and brilliantly shiny under Rarity’s enduring magic light. Individual columns broke off from the wall at all angles, even descending from above, and always ended in sharp points. Minty thought back to certain decorations in the Petal Parlor and made the connection. “Crystals?”

“Crystals,” said Kimono. “We seem to have stumbled into an underground grotto of crystals. I wonder if it’s natural, and how far it extends.”

Rarity bounced up and down, sending her light all over. “Let’s find out!”

It extended for forever. One time Minty had agreed to help Desert Rose prepare her gardens for the Spring Parade—Desert Rose asked if she could help out a bit, and Minty explained that she liked candy over vegetables, but Dezzy reminded her that vegetables were often green, and Minty had quickly gotten on board—and one way or another she had ended up with potato-peeling duty. That would have been fine, if only the door to the potato room hadn’t blown shut from the wind and locked itself, leaving Minty in the dark for hours with nothing to do but peel, peel, peel, peel, peel. Desert Rose had been really sorry, of course, but she’d still had nightmares for days of living in a world of potatoes and nothing but potatoes. The point was, this new place they’d found themselves in was a lot like that, as long as you took out all the potatoes and replaced them with crystals.

At least crystals were shiny. Potatoes? Not so much.

Crystals grew out of the floor, poking their sharp ends into the musty air at odd angles. Crystals hung from the ceiling above, to the point that Minty wasn’t sure there was any ceiling that wasn’t crystals. Crystals stood by themselves or in clusters, lay in fragments underhoof, and dotted the walls. Rarity’s light bounced off of flat crystal faces to reveal more crystals, and from there yet more crystals, until it finally died out in the distance. Minty was bored silly.

As for Kimono’s other question, it was pretty clear that other ponies had been there before them, though that didn’t mean the crystals themselves hadn’t shown up all on their own. From time to time they came across wooden crates, labeled with a light green “IC” logo and often full of strange tools. Other crates held what had probably once been food, but most definitely wasn’t food anymore, and hadn’t been for a really long time. Kimono mentioned wondering if they could find a map of the shining caverns as well, but there was no map to be found, or at least none that had survived however long it took to turn food into definite not-food. It certainly didn’t look like anypony else had been there recently, and Minty hoped they didn’t run into any, uh, remains, especially not with little Rarity along.

After what felt like hours of getting totally lost, they managed to find a large mine cart, easily wide enough to sit all four of them, though Rarity snorted and said it didn’t compare at all to her crystal carriage back in Unicornia, which was much bigger, and could fly, and she was bored and wanted to go home. The mine cart rested at the top of a long track of rails that spiraled down into the darkness below them, and felt sturdy enough when Minty tried kicking it. There was some argument, but eventually they all agreed that wherever the cart track went, it had to go somewhere, and by intentional design, no less, and it wasn’t as if they had any better plans for how to get out of these caverns. The four of them clambered into the cart, and with a little push from Rarity’s surprisingly powerful magic, they rolled off into the unknown at a terrifying clip.

“What did you do this time, Minty?”

“Mmmmfrlarrflrluhhnmmmmfffffhuh?”

Minty rolled over and blinked the sleep from her eyes. She was not in her house. She wasn’t sure she was in a house at all, actually—there were way too many pillars and ceremonial windows for that. Also the bed was too big and fancy, and there weren’t any socks around. So yeah, not her house. “Where am I?” she asked, having regained control of language.

“Celebration Castle, in the bedchamber. That looks like Kimono over there… I haven’t checked the rest of the room yet. What’s going on, Minty?”

“I dunno, sleeping, I guess?” Minty yawned hugely. Kimono? Oh, right, she remembered hanging out with Kimono. There’d been a princess… no, two princesses, one of them a little filly, and one of them their very own Princess Wysteria. And the filly, she’d had a horn on her head, hadn’t she? Wait, but what was going on now? Minty blinked. “Where are you? Heheh, who am I even talking to?”

A sigh. “I’m right behind you, Minty. Just roll over again.”

Minty rolled over again. “Ooh, gosharoonie, Pinkie Pie! Hi!”

“Hi,” said Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie didn’t look happy, so Minty guessed she must have done something wrong. “I dunno why I keep asking you questions, since you’re not answering me, but what are you doing here?”

Minty yawned again and stretched both forehooves out above her. Pinkie Pie carefully backed away an inch or two. “Hmmm… there was a mountain,” she said, and scratched her chin. The story was gradually coming back to her. “Uh, we went up the mountain to find Wysteria, right! Heh, and there she was, right where we were looking for her. Then we came back down, but inside the mountain, see, we found this big mine cart, and it took us to another mine cart, and some stairs, and another mine cart, and so on, heh, and so on, so, on, so, and then finally there was this big door and we opened it and we were here in the castle!” She yawned a third time and smiled happily at her best friend. “I think we came out behind this big tapestry thingy in the pantry! Kimono said it was a secret passage. Gee, did you know the castle had secret passages?”

Pinkie Pie sat slowly down beside her, taking care not to rest her hooves on the fancy castle pillows. “Not really? Look, Minty, while you were on top of or inside of this mountain… you didn’t break anything, did you? Maybe something that looked incredibly magical?”

“Uh, no? Not that I noticed!” Minty started wriggling out of the covers. They were really comfy, but Pinkie Pie definitely looked unhappy, so she had better act serious instead of lying around in bed all day. “Why? Did you lose something?”

Pinkie Pie pointed out the nearest window. “Does the sun look a bit high in the sky for morning to you?”

Minty squinted. “Oh, yeah, a little! Heheh, we must have slept a while, huh? Gee, but let me tell you, we had one humdinger of a day yesterday, with the mine carts, and the dragon, ooh, and I fell in the river, did I tell you that? Um, say, you haven’t seen Seaspray lately, have you? She isn’t with you, is she? Tell me she’s not with you.”

“Minty!”

“…yeah?”

Pinkie Pie flattened her forehead against one hoof. “Minty… the sun’s not way up there because you slept in an hour or two! It never went down yesterday. Okay? We waited all night and the sun didn’t even move. Nopony knows if time’s stopped or what happened.”

Minty’s eyes went wide, and she suddenly remembered part of Rarity’s story about where she’d come from. If her parents were in charge of moving the sun and moon, even though that sounded totally weird, if they’d been captured by that King Sombra guy, then no wonder the sun had gone haywire! Heheh, haywire, she’d have to keep that one. So, but wait, if the sun wasn’t working right, then what about… “Has the party started yet?”

“The Rainbow Celebration?” Minty nodded. “Yeah, it started all right. Couldn’t finish, though… the first rainbow of the season never showed up! It’s pandemonium out there, Minty. I came in here looking for any kind of clues, and all I found was you.”

Minty groaned and rocked back and forth. This was bad, this was bad! What were they going to do without a moon, or nighttime, or rainbows, or however many other things it turned out the unicorns had been in charge of this whole time without anypony knowing about it?! “So what’s the plan?” she asked.

“Plan?” Pinkie Pie stared at her incredulously. “I don’t have a plan, Minty! The sun stopped moving! The rainbow’s gone! What the hay do you think I’ve ever done that gives me a plan for something like this? I can’t throw a party to get rid of the sun!”

Minty winced. “Ooh, gosh, Pinkie Pie, come on, don’t shout, I think the others are still asleep.” She looked meaningfully at Kimono, who did appear not to have noticed anything just yet. “What does everypony else think?”

Pinkie Pie shifted awkwardly. “Er, I might have mentioned that I hadn’t seen you since yesterday morning, and now half of Ponyville thinks that you went and broke the world while I wasn’t looking. Maybe a bit more than half, honestly.”

“The world?” Minty stared, eyes wide. Why the hay would she have mentioned that? Was she trying to get everypony else to hate her now? Was that how she was going to go about becoming everypony’s best friend? “Pinkie Pie, how could I break the world? I may be clumsy, but gosh, the world’s awfully big, and…”

“I don’t know how you broke the world! How could the sun stop moving!?”

“Magic!”

“That’s not specific enough!”

“No, I mean…” Minty stopped. Eww, darn, now they were both shouting. She took a few deep breaths while Pinkie Pie glared at her. “It’s kinda complicated, and we should probably wait for everyone to wake up first so you can get the story better, but…” She stopped again and thought about it. “So, like, you remember Rainbow Dash talking about unicorns yesterday?”

“Minty, if you know something, you need to tell me what it is! I can’t go back outside and tell Ponyville that Minty knows what happened to the sun, but they can’t find out yet because Kimono’s still sleeping and we don’t want to wake her up! Oh, and would they be interested in a nice fairytale about unicorns while they wait? They’re out for blood out there!”

Minty clutched at Pinkie Pie’s leg in terror. “Blood? My blood?! All that blood that’s inside me, that I’m kinda using right now?”

“Well… okay, not blood. Figure of speech. But there are a lot of ponies who want you to leave town at this point, Minty, before you can mess up anything else.”

“Oh yeah?” Minty glared out the window while Pinkie Pie nodded dumbly. “And what about you?”

“Minty, I…”

“What do you think?”

“…I think it couldn’t hurt,” said Pinkie Pie, looking only at the floor.

Minty exploded. “Why do you keep trying to get me to leave Ponyville!?” Pinkie Pie started to say something, and Kimono was visibly stirring now, and maybe the others too, but she kept on going. “Pinkie Pie, you’re supposed to be my best friend! My best! Friend! You even told me just yesterday you want that! But whenever I do something wrong, now you just try and get rid of me!” Pinkie Pie cleared her throat, but Minty totally ignored her. “Is this what it was like when I missed your birthday? We painted the whole town pink for you, Puzzlemint made you this awesome puzzle hunt thing, and all you were thinking was how much better it’d be if I wasn’t here? Huh? Is that it?!”

There was a long pause. Kimono was definitely awake, but hadn’t chosen to join in the conversation. Finally, “…may I talk now?” asked Pinkie Pie.

“Yeah, go ahead! Talk at Minty the clown! Throw a little party! Tell her why she’s not welcome!”

Pinkie Pie paid close attention to one of the walls. “Minty, I don’t hate you. You’re my friend.”

“If you don’t hate me, why are you telling me to leave?”

“Because everypony else hates you!”

“That’s what Sweetberry said!” Minty turned away and stalked off in disgust. “Gee, Pinkie Pie, you’re everyone’s best friend… do you think you could introduce me to somepony? Because I’d really like to meet this everypony else pony someday, y’know, she sounds cool! I know you like her a lot, after all. I’d like to meet somepony who isn’t afraid to tell me what she thinks, instead of hiding behind Scooter Sprite thinks this, or all of Ponyville thinks that. Then the sun would really have a reason to stop moving, just from surprise, don’t you think?”

“Heeheehehehe!”

Minty spun around again, furious. “Now you’re laughing at me again?!”

“No, that wasn’t me!”

“What?” Minty stopped in mid-stomp. “So… Kimono?” She turned to see, but Kimono was shaking her head. “Then who… ohhhhh.”

Rarity and Wysteria were walking toward them, both clearly only very recently awake. While Wysteria’s eyes managed not to look bleary or baggy at all, her long, flowing hair was heavily tousled from the night, which Minty noticed only made her look even prettier. She sighed internally; life just wasn’t fair. Rarity’s mane was too short and curly to show signs of sleep, but she was walking a little unsteadily. More to the point, though, she was giggling helplessly, and Minty felt a new surge of anger flash through her. What was she laughing at?

“Princess Wysteria!” Pinkie Pie dropped to the floor, front hooves spread out in front of her. “You, er… you honor us with your presence on the day of this Rainbow Celebration!”

Wysteria sucked in a breath. “Oh, Pinkie, please don’t be like that! You’ve known me since we were newborn cuties!”

“Nah, heehee, let her do it!” Rarity, still giggling, trotted unevenly over to Pinkie Pie’s side and leaned against her head. “Dad always said there are some ponies who simply enjoy using all the proper titles and stuff, and if you wanna be their friend, eheehee, just let them do it!” She grinned toothily. “Hi! I’m Princess Rarity of Unicornia, by the way! What’s your name?”

Pinkie Pie looked up, and her face instantly passed through so many images of confusion that Minty would have been laughing on the floor had she been any less angry. “Wha… but… who, what are you?”

“Oh, look,” said Minty. “Pinkie Pie doesn’t know everything.”

Kimono, having gotten out of bed, laid a hoof on Minty’s side. “Hush, my friend. Further anger will solve little, and it seems our royalty may have new ideas for us to consider.”

Minty tried not to roll her eyes. Kimono was really smart and had loads of clever ideas, but she did seem to have developed this habit of letting princesses tell her what to do, and it was hard to tell which of those two was going on. Also it looked like Rarity’s idea was just laughing at her, which wasn’t much better than telling her to leave Ponyville, except at least it wasn’t her best friend doing it. She guessed if Pinkie Pie was telling her to leave and laughing at her, that’d be even worse. She didn’t even know what she’d do then.

“I’m a unicorn!” Rarity was explaining. “One of the most important unicorns, even! And, like, me and Princess Wysteria are in charge and all, so I order you and clumsy candy pony to stop arguing over something this silly. Why fight when you can giggle, right?”

Pinkie Pie raised herself up from her bow a little. “Your Highness… I assure you, this is very serious, and—“

“Uh, nope!” Rarity waved her young hoof around imperiously and giggled some more. “Motion denied! Nope, I was snooping on you, and I’m pretty sure this all falls into silly. After all, silly rhymes with Lily, and we all know what she did!”

Minty glanced at Kimono, who looked back at her with equal confusion. Wysteria answered instead. “I don’t think we know anypony named that, Princess Rarity.”

Rarity laughed. “Well, of course you don’t! She’s a unicorn! And, you know, Lily Lightly used to have trouble laughing too, because her horn would start glowing whenever she had too much fun, and she was worried we’d all make fun of her! Heehehee. But we didn’t, of course! Her glowing was really cool, and later she taught me how to do it, and now I can even lead you lot around under a mountain for hours! But pink pony, green pony told you she didn’t break anything and this isn’t her fault. It was silly to think we’d make a fuss about Lily’s horn glowing, so isn’t it even sillier to really make a fuss about green pony not doing something?”

Minty felt her mouth turn up a little. When Rarity put it that way, gee, it did sound a little silly. Convincing the rest of Ponyville was another story, of course, and they did have other stuff to worry about, but fighting about something that never happened? Heheh, gosh. She still didn’t feel very happy with Pinkie Pie, not for overreacting, and not for that stuff about wanting to be everypony’s best friend, which sounded awfully impersonal! But Rarity did have a point that arguing about it wasn’t going to help them just then, not with the sun and stuff messed up. To hay with it. Slowly she began to laugh, somewhat half-heartedly, followed by Kimono and Wysteria, and at last Pinkie Pie. It didn’t last as long as most group laughs, and it was quieter, but she did feel a bit better afterwards.

“But… Princess Rarity,” said Pinkie Pie, once calmed down. “The sun’s still not moving. The rainbow’s still missing. Do you know what’s gone wrong?”

Rarity’s smile faded a little. “Um, yeah. King Sombra.”

“Who?”

“I dunno! Nopony really seems to know where he comes from or anything. But we unicorns of Unicornia are in charge of the weather and the moon and sun and stuff, and he took over Unicornia, so it looks like it’s daytime from here on out until we find a way to take him down.”

Pinkie Pie blinked. “Unicorns… in charge of the weather? Minty, when you told me there was magic to blame, I thought you were just being Minty! Okay, but how did he take over this Unicornia place, then?”

“Well, he’d already taken over the Crystal Empire, so that probably made it a lot easier.”

“Where?”

“You know, where the jewel ponies live.”

“The what?”

Rarity gave a long, overdramatic sigh, while Minty and Wysteria tried not to start giggling again. “Okay, okay, but I’m not explaining all this a third time, got it? The jewel ponies! They’re, uh, a lot like you girls, but more crystal-y, or jewel-y, or whatever. Their coats are kinda glittery, and their eyes are all gemmish, and, uh, they have big blue shiny helmets and armor, and really sharp-looking spears, and there’s purple misty stuff coming out of their eyes, and they don’t look very happy…”

Slowly the other four turned around. Two new ponies stood there, just as Rarity had described them, one yellow-coated with a variety of reds and pinks in her mane, and the other all pink but with white highlights. Their armor shone brilliantly from the unmoving sun and the many colors of Celebration Castle, but Minty found most of her attention fixed on the spears strapped to their sides, which were pointing right at her and her friends.

Kimono cleared her throat. “Princess Rarity… does your royal wisdom perhaps extend to confrontations with heavily armed jewel ponies intent on our injury or death?”

“Uh… yeah! Totally. Yeah, I’ve got an idea for this.”

“What do we do?” asked Wysteria.

Rarity swallowed. “Run!”

They ran.

The two jewel ponies’ armor was light and not very bulky, but it couldn’t help making its wearers at least a little heavier. Plus they were all lop-sided from their spears, and there was probably something hokey about running for one’s life as opposed to running because one is ordered to do so. Or… brainwashed to do so? That purple mist leaking out of their eyes did look pretty weird. One way or another, though, Minty and the rest were able to escape the attacking jewel ponies, though not without being split up along the way. Minty found herself running alongside Pinkie Pie, with no idea where the others had gotten off to, though she was pretty sure they’d be fine.

“What now?” she asked Pinkie Pie, breathlessly. They were still inside the castle, but running for the front gate, which was thankfully down and serving as a drawbridge.

“I don’t know! This is definitely another thing that parties didn’t prepare me to make plans for!”

“I don’t think socks are going to help either!” Minty cried, and then skidded to a stop as they reached the open air. “Oh… heavy hooves, this is bad.”

The two jewel ponies from the bedchamber had not come to Ponyville alone. The floats of the Rainbow Celebration lay before them in shambles as armored jewel ponies fought with the citizens of Ponyville, flowers and candy and other decorations forgotten beneath their hooves. Spring Fever had brought down a light blue jewel pony and was trying to wrestle its spear away. Triple Treat and Cotton Candy stood back to back, tossing cakes and smaller treats at the enemy from a rapidly shrinking supply of goodies. Apple Spice and Coconut Cream had fallen to the ground and a trio of jewel ponies were tying them up with rainbow-colored ribbons, which happily suggested they weren’t planning on using their spears on anypony. Twinkle Twirl made fighting look like a dance, darting and weaving gracefully between foes, but Minty suspected she wasn’t getting much done in the process. Most of Ponyville, though, by Minty’s rough count, was cowering behind upturned carts and decorations, on the run, or already disappeared. She was pretty sure she could faintly hear Razzaroo chanting “no no no!” somewhere.

“Yeah,” said Pinkie Pie, “bad’s a good word for it, all right. Come on, let’s get to Sunny Daze where it’s safe.”

“Huh? Is she… oh, gosh!” Sunny Daze stood on top of what must have been Rainbow Dash’s old rainbow float and was wearing jewel pony armor herself, though her brilliantly colored mane, spilling out of the helmet in all directions, made her impossible to confuse with any of the invaders. She didn’t have a spear strapped to her side, like the jewel ponies did, but instead held one in her front hooves and swung it wildly back and forth at any foolish enough to try to bring her down. Other jewel ponies attempted to reach her from behind, but were targeted by fast, powerful kicks from her hind legs. Minty stood stock-still in awe until she felt Pinkie Pie tugging her forward, and then broke into a gallop behind her.

“Yo, Mints, Pinkie!” Sunny Daze could not have looked happier if she’d suddenly received eternal sunshine… which, come to think of it, she had. “Isn’t this awesome?!”

“I’m with you on the first syllable!” said Pinkie Pie, as they climbed on top of the float. “Sunny, what are you doing?”

“Having the time of my life, that’s what!” Sunny Daze’s eyes shone more than the simple fact of the sun overhead would allow. “We seriously need to think about opening up a fencing parlor in Ponyville! Or, no, brain flash, get this: surfing, but with swords.”

Minty chuckled nervously. “A fencing parlor! Yes, that sounds like a fun idea, but, um, eheh, don’t you think it’s a little soon! I mean, gosh, here we are under attack and all, and, y’know, planning fencing parlors…”

“Oh, ideas are cheap, it’ll keep… whoah!” An orange jewel pony mare with a poofy yellow mane, who’d almost made it onto the float beside them, was knocked back by a sharp spear thrust to her breastplate. She topped noisily onto one of her fellows, and Minty winced. “Pinkie, want me to get you a spear?”

“Wait,” said Minty, “what about me?”

“Mints, we’re tight as thieves, but I am not giving you a deadly weapon.”

Pinkie Pie only sputtered, her hooves waving at the scene around them. Cotton Candy had run out of things to throw and was now hiding behind Spring Fever, who wielded her own stolen spear with more enthusiasm than skill; Triple Treat was nowhere to be seen, and neither were Apple Spice and Coconut Cream. More jewel ponies were still arriving, outnumbering Ponyville’s population by far, and many of the ones that were already there were leaving the square, presumably searching for the ponies who’d run away already. “What… what’s going on?” asked Pinkie at last. “I went into the castle to try and figure out what’s wrong with the sun, and when I came out, this was happening!”

Sunny Daze kicked another jewel pony in the face before shrugging. “No idea! These guys just showed up and attacked us, so I’m attacking them back, and it is awesome! Okay, new brain flash: bumper cars with swords.”

Minty sighed. She liked bumper cars, but if Sunny Daze took them over and also forbade her from handling weapons, well, that’d be the end of that. Not that there weren’t much more important things to worry about. “What’s next?” she asked.

“Don’t ask me!” Sunny Daze lashed out with her spear, knocking a dark purple jewel pony squarely off her feet, and crowed in satisfaction. “Mints, I love story club with you and all, but really I’m more a bruiser than a schemer. Tell me where to go and I’ll do your fighting, but beyond that, not so much. What’s the plan, Pinkie? How do we win back Ponyville?”

“Plan?” Pinkie Pie stared up at her, plainly terrified. “Why do you ponies keep expecting me to have a plan?”

Oh! She’d figured it out, even if Pinkie Pie was too busy freaking. “Because of what Sunny keeps saying,” said Minty.

Sunny Daze frowned. “More swords?”

“No, before that, ‘brain flash.’ Pinkie, what we need is a Squink!”

“Yeah… remind me what those are again,” said Sunny Daze, and spun around to wallop another jewel pony closing in from her side. “Some kind of weird inspiration ritual?”

“Exactly!” Minty smiled happily at her sometimes best friend, and… well, maybe her other best friend, to be fair. “It’s a special trick Pinkie Pie does to come up with great ideas! First Pinkie squishes her eyes shut… then she winks… then she thinks.”

Quietly, shaking, Pinkie Pie sat on the float and closed her eyes. Little blue shimmering specks of light began to pop into existence in the air, and spiraled around her head in elaborate patterns. Minty trembled as a trio of shimmers flew straight for her head, only to sigh in relief a moment later when they passed harmlessly through her and continued to fly. Sunny Daze’s attention wandered, and she returned to beating back the more daring jewel ponies, but Minty only had eyes for Pinkie Pie as she squished and squished and squished.

Pinkie Pie’s mane lifted up from her neck and flowed around her head in faltering waves, doing its best to follow the blue shimmers in their magical dance. Still her eyes remained fast shut, and still her body shook silently, and still her shimmers flew about her, but Minty couldn’t help but feel they were slowing down. In a normal Pinkie Squink, Pinkie Pie would have begun winking long ago, and might even have finished up and given them all a wonderful new idea. This time she was stuck squishing, and couldn’t stop shaking either. But it was springtime, and the middle of the day—according to the sun, anyhow!—so she couldn’t be cold. But maybe she was scared?

Squinks solved problems. When a band wasn’t playing together, a Pinkie Squink could find a song for them to play, and even maybe a costume for them to wear. When quiet gardener Wysteria suddenly became Princess Wysteria, a Pinkie Squink could transform a simple Spring Promenade into an extra-special Princess Promenade. But those were simple problems. The sun stopping, or the rainbow never appearing, those weren’t so simple. Ponyville under attack by armored jewel ponies, not so simple. Hardly anypony there even knowing how to fight back, not simple at all! And when all that was going on at the same time, golly, a Pinkie Squink would need a Squink of its own even to decide where to begin!

There was no such thing as a Minty Squink to offer; Minty didn’t even have the first idea how Squinks worked. It was just something Pinkie Pie had always been able to do, whenever things got confusing. But she had to help somehow! Whatever her issues with Pinkie Pie at the moment, golly, coming up with an idea to save Ponyville was way more important. So Minty did the only things she could think of, and sat in front of Pinkie Pie, grabbed her best friend’s hooves in her own, pressed their foreheads together… and then squeaked as the world disappeared.

She was still in Ponyville, but the Ponyville of Pinkie Pie’s surprise birthday party, not the Ponyville being destroyed by jewel ponies. She couldn’t even hear the fighting anymore. All she heard was fireworks going off above the bright pink buildings surrounding her, kazoos not being held by anypony she could see, music boxes and jack-in-the-boxes playing their merry tunes, and constant happy laughter. Minty could tell it was the greatest party ever thrown, and that there was nothing it could offer to help her.

She started to explore, running helplessly with no idea how long she had or even where she was. She didn’t think anypony had ever entered a Squink before, but that had to be what she was doing, running from pink house to pink house in search of… well, she’d know it when she found it! That was how Squinks worked, right? The squishing was pretty silly to watch, and the winking was really cool, but it was all about that flash of brilliance, finding the idea that had been refusing to show itself. So… where? Where was an idea?

Where was Pinkie Pie?

The world wasn’t empty. When she stopped to look, there were familiar faces everywhere, skipping gaily down the streets in pairs, playing hopscotch, dancing, singing, laughing, doing everything but thinking of ways to save Ponyville. Sunny Daze and Scooter Sprite flew past her on roller-skates, spinning and somersaulting in beautiful moves that Minty was positive they’d have trouble with in real life. Sweetberry worked on a massive strawberry cake that stood twice as tall as the nearby houses, adding cherries to the top while standing on a cherry picker that rolled around the cake without anypony driving it. Spring Fever walked slowly past, squinting and writing in a little book called ‘7000 Things to Try Today.’ The book was bright pink, and there were three balloons on the cover under the title, two blue and the third yellow. Pinkie Pie’s cutie mark.

“Spring Fever!”

“Hi Minty! What’s up!”

Minty tackled her before she could get away, and the two fell to the cobbles below. No dust sprung up around them, and Minty could tell that Spring Fever wasn’t even hurt. Life was so much simpler in this Squink world. She pointed at the book. “Where’d you get that?”

“This?” Spring Fever smiled up at her from the dustless road. “Oh, Pinkie Pie gave it to me! Isn’t she wonderful? I’ve been filling it with idea after idea, and now I don’t forget what I’ve already done anymore!”

Minty nodded, not really listening. “When did you get it? Ooh, or do you know where she is now?”

“No, sorry.” Spring Fever got back up to her feet and patted Minty apologetically. “Is that all? Sorry I couldn’t be any more help, but there’s a robin across town whose eggs are about to hatch! Goodbye!”

Spring Fever walked away, whistling, and Minty felt her shoulders slump. That hadn’t helped at all! Although, come to think of it, hadn’t Scooter Sprite’s roller-skates also been pink? And maybe the wheels had been blue and yellow, for that matter? Sure, Ponyville was all pink, but maybe there was something more than that going on…

“Isn’t Pinkie Pie wonderful?!” Minty turned and saw Wysteria… no, this was definitely Princess Wysteria, wearing a big golden crown with little balloon-shaped jewels on top, and with a long velvet cape clasped around her neck. “She hosts all the parties, and talks to anypony who’s unhappy, and all I need to do is sit on my throne and be a Princess! My life is so simple!”

Wysteria wandered vaguely away, and Moondancer and Twinkle Twirl came dancing along, each wearing bright pink ballet shoes. “Were you just asking about Pinkie Pie?” asked Moondancer. “She spent hours with me yesterday, helping me design my invitations! Nopony’s ever going to pass up one of my slumber parties now!”

“You know, Pinkie Pie arranged for her Ladybug Jamboree band to play for my next dance recital!” said Twinkle Twirl. “With that kind of pony-popping music behind us, I know we just can’t fail!”

“Pinkie Pie made these for me!” said Daffidazey, out of nowhere. “See? Of course you can’t, they’re called contact lenses, and they’re much too small and transparent to see, but now I won’t need to worry about forgetting my glasses ever again!”

“Pinkie Pie rummaged about in Storybelle’s library and found this map!” said Applejack. “Think it’s time for an adventure!”

“Pinkie Pie gave me these pills for motion sickness! Now I can ride the rollercoaster anytime I want!”

“Pinkie Pie went to medical school and cured my crippling social anxiety disorder!”

“Pinkie Pie helped name my new puppy!”

“Rainbows, darling, rainbows!”

“Yes yes yes! Yes yes yes! Yes yes yes!”

“Enough!”

Minty fell prone to the ground and clutched her hooves over her ears, and in an instant, the throngs of happy ponies vanished away into the air. A few of the blue shimmers from the Squink flew past, but were gone before she could figure out where they were going. Nothing she saw was helping her in the least… all these ponies, happier versions of her own friends, had seen Pinkie Pie but weren’t with her right now. All she’d done was confirm that Pinkie Pie just wanted everypony to depend on her for everything.

Well… that wasn’t quite fair, was it? Minty’s face scrunched up in thought. How dependent could everypony really be, if Pinkie Pie wasn’t even with them anymore? If Daffidazey could see now, that was a permanent change. Puppies didn’t need to be named more than once! When Pinkie Pie had said she wanted to be everypony’s best friend, a part of Minty had assumed the worst… but the point of being somepony’s friend wasn’t getting them to need you for everything, was it? All that Pinkie Pie had done here—what she wanted to do, in real life—was find ways to make everypony happy. That didn’t sound nearly as awful. Rarity’s infectious laughter flitted through Minty’s head again, and she couldn’t help but smile just at the thought of it.

“I’m sorry, Pinkie Pie,” she said. She didn’t know if Pinkie Pie could hear her or not, but if she had built this whole Ponyville in her head in the first place, then why not? “I think I might have goofed up. Heheh, and you know I do that all the time! But knowing you want everypony to be happy… that doesn’t do me any good if I don’t know where you are!”

“Righto, that is a puzzle, isn’t it?”

Minty raised herself from the street. A portly white pony stood thoughtfully in front of her, her wavy mane a shambles of purple and pink and yellow hairs all mixed indiscriminately together. She shifted her weight from one side to the other, and Minty got a look at her familiar symbol with its magnifying glass and jigsaw puzzle piece.

“Puzzlemint!”

“No kidding! You know, I’ve been hearing you’ve landed yourself in a bit of a fix, Minty.” Puzzlemint produced her favorite pipe and blew several pink bubbles into the sky, as she liked to do when solving puzzles. Minty watched, happily despite her situation, as the bubbles flew gently up into the pink trees above and popped merrily into oblivion. “Sun gone wonky, jewel ponies nipping at your heels, and now you’ve leapt into your best mate’s noggin, only you can’t find her. No kidding, that’s a puzzle, all right!”

Minty hugged Puzzlemint, struggling just a bit to reach all the way around her. “Gee, you’re right! Puzzlemint, Puzzlemint, solve it for me, please!”

Puzzlemint quirked a dark purple eyebrow at her. “Cor, that’s blatant, innit?” Several more bubbles escaped her pipe and vanished into the endless blue sky. “Pinkie Pie’s gone and helped everypony you see with their hang-ups, but she’s still busy. And why’s that?” She grinned cheekily. “Could be there’s somepony she can’t fix, no matter how she tries.”

Minty tried her best to adopt Puzzlemint’s thinking pose, though her lack of bubble pipe made it a lot more difficult. Who was there she hadn’t seen in that whole crowd just now? Desert Rose? No, Dezzy hardly had any problems. Graceful, dancing Loop-De-La? Warm, cheerful Piccolo? Bouncy Fiesta Flair? No, but maybe… oh.

“You’re talking about me, aren’t you.”

In a moment, the sky had turned to blackest nighttime, the ground had begun to quake, and Puzzlemint had vanished without so much as a ‘no kidding!’ to say goodbye. Minty shielded her head as the pink houses around her sunk into the earth, leaving a clear path between her and the center of town. She walked forwards, stepping gingerly on the sunken roofs of the homes of her friends and neighbors, and shivered at the sound of cruel laughter she heard growing louder from in front of her. At least the laughter didn’t sound like Pinkie Pie’s, she didn’t think. She didn’t want another angry confrontation with her right now, not while they were supposed to be doing a Squink together.

The heart of Ponyville was colored minty green, a bright spot of change in the middle of the vast pinkness. Minty couldn’t help but chuckle to herself at the sight. Who’d have thought, a bit of green right here inside of pinkest Pinkie Pie? And there, there was Pinkie Pie herself, rushing frantically around a raised platform in the very center of the clearing, though it was too dark to see what was on top of the platform. Still she walked forwards, and still the cruel laughter got louder.

“Pinkie Pie?” she asked.

“Hi!” Pinkie Pie didn’t so much as look at her, too busy running around and around the platform, pushing back at whoever or whatever was going on. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you right now, whoever you are. But we’ll have a party later, I promise!”

A bit of wetness had appeared in one of Minty’s eyes, and she was surprised to notice it was a tear. Well, no time for that! She had heroey things to do! “What are you doing?”

“Helping,” said Pinkie Pie, and the light came on over the platform. Minty—another Minty, with the same wild mane and the same cute little nose—was on top of it, a goofy smile on her face, walking around in circles. She was surrounded by brambles, and every few seconds would look delighted and rush curiously towards them, only for Pinkie Pie to push her back to safety in the nick of time. Or else the platform would start to crumble beneath her when she stepped, and Pinkie Pie would have to pat it back together. Both ponies looked like they could keep the dance up for quite some time, and Minty wasn’t sure she dared wonder just how long it’d been going on already.

The light grew, and Minty could see the faces of the other ponies in Ponyville, no longer dancing happily along with Pinkie Pie’s gifts and solutions, but distorted into hate, laughing, and throwing things at the other Minty. Old fruit, sticks, thorny flowers, and more were hurled at her, and she winced each time they hit but kept on romping atop the platform. The throwing ponies were too high up for Pinkie Pie to stop them, and besides, Minty could tell she had her hooves full keeping Minty safe from the brambles, and the crumbling, and… herself.

“That’s my best friend,” said Pinkie Pie, sounding exhausted, and Minty felt her heart give a funny lurch. “Her name’s Minty, and she gets in trouble a lot. Have you met her?”

Minty looked up at herself: clumsy, overcurious, helpless, but forever cheerful and trusting, at least on the outside. “Um, I think I might be beginning to?”

There was a great rending noise, and a piece of the sky fell off. Pinkie Pie didn’t seem to notice, but where the sky had been, Minty could see Ponyville—the real Ponyville—as she’d kinda sorta left it just a few minutes ago, with Sunny Daze just visible, still smiling and in constant motion. Was the Squink beginning to fall apart? Was Pinkie Pie giving up thinking of a great idea?

“Pinkie Pie, don’t give up now!” She rushed forwards a few steps, but then halted again, not sure if she should get in the way or not. “Ponyville’s in trouble, remember? The jewel ponies are attacking? I mean, gee, don’t you think that’s a little more important?”

“More important than Minty?” Pinkie Pie’s voice was tired now, her motions slower, coming closer and closer to not rescuing the other Minty in time. “She gets in so much trouble, and she doesn’t mean to, or even know she’s doing it half the time. But this time it’s bad. She broke something, something really important, and now the town’s turning against her.” Another mad dash, and the other Minty was just pushed away from her thorny barrier in the nick of time.

Minty looked up at the ugly, snickering faces, and realized they must not always have been there. She’d done this at the Winter Wishes Festival, hadn’t she? Broken something inside of Pinkie Pie’s head? “What does she need to do?” she asked brilliant, helpful Pinkie Pie.

“I don’t know. I think maybe leave town.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t find a way to help her this time.” Pinkie Pie leaned against the platform for a moment, and it almost broke beneath the other Minty’s hooves before she could patch it back up again. “All my friends, I tell them and tell them she didn’t mean to, that it was an accident, but it’s no use. And what if someday they turn on her—really turn on her? And there’s nothing at all I can do to stop them? I can’t help her… so maybe she needs to get out while she still can.”

Minty felt what she needed to do next. Maybe it was something heroes felt, or maybe it was how Squinks worked, but there was no doubt in her mind. If Pinkie Pie wanted to have a Minty running around in her head, then using a fake Minty wasn’t going to do her any good, not when the real one was right there and ready for action. A single leap, and Minty had cleared Pinkie and the brambles and all the hateful laughing ponies and landed right in the center of the platform, and then she was the only one there, and the other Minty didn’t exist anymore.

A tomato flew towards her from the laughing crowd, right at her shin, but Minty snatched it out of the air and took a big bite from it instead, winking merrily. For a moment the laughing stopped… and then it started again, but happy, and mixed with cheering and the sound of invisible stomping hooves.

“…Minty?” It was the first time Pinkie Pie had recognized her.

“Gee, Pinkie, if you can’t help me out of this one, maybe I need to help myself instead!” She chuckled. “Eheh, doesn’t take a big ol’ Pinkie Pie brain to think of that one, right? And gosh, if you’re not worrying about me all the time, maybe you could take a moment and Squink us up a way out of the jam we’re all in?”

“Huh? I… oh! Of course!” With all the noise of a thunderclap, Pinkie Pie’s curly mane erupted into a sparkly fountain of blue Squink shimmers, which quickly filled all the air around them. The platform, and the cobbled streets, and the houses, and all of Ponyville crumbled away, but Minty didn’t fall; the shimmers had lifted her and Pinkie Pie both, and were carrying them up, up, up through the hole in the sky and back to the real world. Sunny Daze kicked a red jewel pony to the side; the shimmers disappeared; Minty let go of Pinkie Pie’s hooves; and Pinkie Pie’s eyes snapped back open.

“This is gonna take more than a clever idea,” she said. “We need a miracle. We need Skywishes.”

Author's Note

The Pinkie Squink, much like G4's Pinkie Sense (or various other of her powers), is a special ability that only Pinkie Pie seems to have that is never given any explanation. One hardly dares speculate what G5 Pinkie Pie will be able to do! I don't think Puzzlemint ever had a bubble pipe, in either animated or toy form, but it feels perfectly logical that she would, to the point that it's apparently been done before. Minty and Sparkleworks share their kiss in Positively Pink, not of course to be confused with Minty and Thistle Whistle's almost kiss in A Very Minty Christmas. The "Spring Festival" that Rarity mentions as "totally old" is the party at the beginning of G1's My Little Pony: The Movie, so it really doesn't get much older than that.