Save vs. Friendship

"OK," said Rainbow Dash, sighing. She stared at the sheet in front of her. "Which one do I have to roll, again?"

"The same as last round, dear," said Rarity, leaning across the table and pushing a bevy of snack wrappers and cups to one side. "It's a mental attack. Roll against Acuity."

The pegasus took another long look at her sheet. "Acuity...oh man! I've got like an eight in that. Who attacks Acuity?"

Twilight surveyed the group. Some of them had been a bit...reluctant...to join in this adventure, but she'd bullied and cajoled and bargained them here if just for the one evening. She even suspected that Rainbow Dash, who'd spent the first hour complaining about games with rulebooks longer than five pages, was actually enjoying herself. And she'd needed something to get her away from work.

"Twi'?"

She looked up. The left-hoof side of the table - Applejack and Pinkie Pie - were looking at her expectantly. Rarity was surreptitiously wiping fluoro-orange dust from one of Rainbow Dash's many junk food packets off of her hooves. Rainbow was attacking her sheet with an eraser, still complaining about how only wimps and cowards used attacks that required you save versus Acuity. Fluttershy was busy turning the bottom half of her character sheet into some kind of elaborate drawing.

"Oh, right, yes. Uh, AJ, the astronaut seems to be completely occupied with its psychic assault on Rainbow-ah, that is, Storm. It's your turn to act. What do you do?"

Applejack put a hoof on either side of her character sheet. She'd filled it out in an almost childishly round script, although she'd pressed too hard at first and now half of it was gouged with the repeated furrows of marked-and-erased scores.

"Ah still got three charges in this gun, right?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Sure thing. I level it at the astronaut and activate it."

Twilight glanced down at her notes. "OK," she said. "There's a muffled crack as AJ's - er, Jerod's - gun goes off. AJ, roll to hit."

Applejack scooped the dice from where Rainbow Dash had been hoarding them, and rolled. "Huh," she said. "Ah'm guessing a five ain't a hit."

"Nope. The projectile bounces off the helmet of the astronaut. It's like it doesn't even notice." Twilight leafed through her notes. If they keep at it like this, she thought, there isn't going to be much party left. I wonder if there's some errata on this?

"Ooh!" said Pinkie Pie, from her seat on the left. "Is it my turn? Is it? Is it?"

Twilight glanced up. "I guess it must be. What're you doing?"

"Oooh! It's my turn!" The earth pony stood up in her chair, swinging back onto its rear legs and nearly overbalancing. Twilight shot out a forehoof, envisioning the table going flying in her head. "My turn, my turn! I get to do things!" The earth pony peered at her sheet, lip stuck out. "Now, what was I gonna do?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Jus' attack it like the rest of us been doin'," she said.

"No," said Pinkie, poring over her sheet. "Nonono, I had a thing, it was a thing...here it is!" She slammed a hoof down near the bottom of her sheet, sending her chair into another precarious backward-and-forward arc and upsetting the mountain of soda cans Rainbow Dash had been surreptitiously building. "I confound it!" she exlaimed.

"That's not the only thing yer confounding," muttered Applejack.

"Oh," said Twilight, "OK. Uh, can you do that?" She turned to the table. "Can she do that?"

"As a second-level anarchist she gets it as a once-per-day ability," said Rarity in a bored tone.

Rainbow Dash looked up from the ruins of her can tower. "Seriously?" she said, shooting the unicorn a look. "Reading through the rulebook now? I thought Twilight was supposed to be the ne-ow!"

Rarity glared at the pegasus. Rainbow Dash rubbed her fetlock. Twilight didn't notice: she was checking the readout for the astronaut again, because she could swear she'd just skipped over a section-

Ah.

A being of the Outer Spaces, the Astronaut is unfamiliar with terrestrial culture and norms, and likely to be easily confused by common occurrences.

Although with Pinkie Pie, Twilight thought to herself, familiarity with terrestrial culture never was an advantage.

"OK, sure!" said Twilight. "You...what do you do to confound it?"

"Oooh! I got this one! First, I start running around it in circles! Next, while I'm doing that, I get a mirror out and start shining sunlight in its eyes-"

"It's wearing a helmet," said Rainbow Dash from the corner. "Hey, did you know that this soda is like eighty percent sugar?"

"Into where its eyes should be," said Pinkie Pie, unperturbed. "And then-"

"The being lurches back with a cry," said Twilight, before Pinkie could get too carried away. "It's well and truly confounded by your actions."

"Hold on," said Pinkie Pie. "Don't I get to roll?"

"Nope! It looks like your attack was especially effective against it."

Pinkie's grin drooped. "But I wanted to roll the pointy one..."

"Well..." said Twilight. "I guess you'll have to...uh....so, Fluttershy!"

"Oh, hello? Did I do something?"

"It's your turn."

"Oh." The pegasus looked up from her drawing. "I, uh, what just happened?"

"Rainbow Dash is under psychic assault, Applejack just used her gun and missed, and Pinkie is...uh, being Pinkie at it. And it's now staggering around in shock."

"In shock? Oh dear, this is bad."

"'shy," said Rainbow Dash. "We're fighting it, not asking it over for dinner."

Fluttershy looked down at her sheet. "Can I apply bandages to it? What about a vaccine? Oh, wait, life paddles! I apply life paddles to it!"

"Life paddles?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"It has them here, in my gear," said Fluttershy, pointing. "Life paddles."

"OK, the astronaut is flailing around," said Twilight. "You're going to have to roll to hit it."

"Nothing is standing in the way of my life paddles!" said Fluttershy. "What dice is that again?"

Applejack passed her the dice. She rolled.

"Um," she said, looking at it, "high is good, right?"

Rainbow Dash looked down. "Aw yeah!" she said. "Crit!"

"You hit the Astronaut, right in the chest plate," said Twilight. "Electricity arcs out of your life paddles and through its body. It starts to jerk around as your attack bypasses its armour-"

Fluttershy's hooves flew to her mouth. "Oh no! No no no no!"

Rainbow Dash punched the air. "Aw yeah! That's how you do it! Hey, AJ, how come you can't get electric bullets for your guns, huh?"

"This is all wrong. They're called life paddles! Life!"

Twilight put her forehooves on the table. "You finally pry your life paddles from the Astronaut, and it staggers away from you, electricity still arcing off of it into the ground. You almost think it's going to just keep going, but then it stumbles backwards, trips over an exposed root, and-"

There was a knock at the door. The mood at the table hung for a second - then dropped.

Twilight's ear twitched. "I'll get that," she said. "I'll be right back!"

Conversation started up as she left the table.

"Hey Rarity, aren't you a Technologist? I thought you were supposed to have all sorts of gadgets that do that sort of thing?"

"Don't forget, dear, they're only one-use. Then I have to repair them for eight hours..."

Twilight poked her head out the door, into the hallway. It was fast approaching night-time - when had that happened? Spike was standing there, claws clutched behind him, tracing imaginery patterns on the floorboards with his eyes.

"Oh, hello Spike!" she said. "What's up?"

"Uhhh, I know you said you weren't to be interrupted, because you were doing big girl stuff and that I should keep everything running downstairs and I should only interrupt you last thi-"

"Yes, yes, it's fine, really. To be honest, we were just about to wrap up."

"Hey, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Do we get any loot?"

"Loot?" Spike asked. Twilight chuckled and patted him on the head.

"Only one thing on a teenage dragon's mind, right?"

"Hey!"

"Yeah, I know. So what's up?"

"Oh, right. Uh." Spike resumed his detailed inspection of the floorboards. "She's here."

"She?"

"Yeah. You know. Her."

"I - oh, wait. You mean...her?"

Spike nodded.

"But...it's a Saturday! People don't work on Saturdays! Even princesses don't work on Saturdays, I'm sure! There must be something in a referendum or a constitution or something."

Spike shrugged.

The door creaked. Rainbow Dash poked her head out. "Hey," she said, "are we still doing this thing?"

"Hold on," said Twilight. "I...I have to deal with something. I'll be back in a minute."

She clopped quietly down the staircase. Spike followed in her wake.

"How long has she been waiting?" she asked.

"Just a few minutes. I came up as soon as she got here. I figured you'd want to know."

"Where did you put her?"

"She seemed happy enough in the library, browsing the books."

"The books? Oh no." Twilight took the rest of the stairs at a canter.

Her was High Seneschal Folded Quill, which would have been a more impressive title if there were some Low Seneschals or even Mid Seneschals for her to boss about. However, the Domain of Greater Everfree was relatively young ("relatively" here meaning about two months old) and its staff somewhat lacking. Which meant that High Seneschal Folded Quill not only oversaw the administrative and domestic branches of Twilight's staff, but in a very real sense was the administrative and domestic branches of Twilight's staff.

She was also reading a five-hundred-page history of the Cloudsdale rebellion. Twilight hoped it didn't give her ideas.

"Sorry!" Twilight said, taking the last few steps in a bound and skidding to a halt in the centre of the library. "I, uh, I kind of didn't expect you here. On a Saturday."

"Kingdoms don't stop working just because it's the weekend, Ms Sparkle."

Twilight winced. She was never the princess: although you might possibly be able to convince Folded Quill that Twilight Sparkle was a princess, as far as she was concerned there was only one definite-article princess in Equestria, maybe two if Luna was feeling particularly assertive. Twilight, though, was "ma'am", or, if she'd done something particularly naive, "Ms Sparkle".

Twilight had been composing a list (in her head: she dared not commit it to paper). The list was entitled: The Folded Quill Scale of Ire. "Ms Sparkle" was a mere one out of ten on the list - she'd yet to encounter anything above a three, but she felt like she might soon if this kept up.

"To, uh," she began. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence?"

Folded Quill closed the book carefully and turned to Twilight, examining her over the tops of her glasses. Twilight winced. That was a two out of ten.

"You're aware that there is a coronation coming up, Ms Sparkle?"

"A...coronation...?"

Folded Quill picked up the book in her mouth and walked carefully over to one of the overstuffed shelves. With deft precision she placed the book back where it had come from. She turned to Twilight.

"Yes. Yours."

"Oh!" said Twilight. "Yes, mine!" She grinned. "But that isn't for months yet. I mean, I've been talking to Celestia about the venue and I think we've got something sorted out and she said that we could even-"

"Ms Sparkle. Do you know how long it takes to cater for such an event?"

"Well, I figured that I could extrapolate from Canterlot's Summer Sun Celebration, I mean, assuming we expect the same order of magnitude-"

"Extrapolate," said Folded Quill. Twilight fell silent. The High Seneschal removed her glasses, balanced them on one hoof, produced a cloth from seemingly nowhere, and absent-mindedly buffed the lenses.

Twilight suppressed a nervous twitch. That was a three out of ten.

"Ms Sparkle, did you have any help with the Summer Sun Celebration?"

"Well, my friends of course."

Folded Quill remained silent.

"OK, and there was some palace staff, cooks and butlers and waiters and stuff, but...you can hire those on, right? I can hire them on, can't I? I'm a princess! That's what princesses do, isn't it?"

"Mmm-hmm," said Folded Quill, placing her glasses back on the bridge of her nose. Twilight made a mental note, in case "mmm-hmm" was the next level on the Folded Quill Scale.

"And how did that celebration go, Miss Sparkle?" she said.

"Well, I thought it went quite well. Up to the point where the Queen of Darkness interrupted and kidnapped Princess Celestia and laughed and everypony panicked, but I hardly think that was because of a failure to prepare."

"Ms Sparkle, if one prepares correctly, there should be no panic, no matter the circumstance. The perfect host is ready for every eventuality."

Twilight took a breath, walked over to one of the chairs that dotted the library. She took the opportunity while her back was turned to roll her eyes. Why can't she just leave this be? she thought to herself. I can manage a coronation. I've fought elder gods from before Celestia's time! I've seen off dragons! One little coronation can't be too hard to organise.

Folded Quill remained standing. She refused to sit in Twilight's presence unless Twilight gave her express permission. Usually Twilight would get embarrased after about three minutes, but tonight she was feeling vindictive.

"Well?" she said.

"If I may suggest," Folded Quill started. "The palace staff should be subcontracted to cater for the event. They have the experience, after all. Perhaps a section of the royal guard could be commissioned for security? You are, after all, royalty now - even if not by blood."

"OK, OK," said Twilight. "I'll get onto it in the morning."

Folded Quill frowned.

"What?" said Twilight. "It's ten o'clock or something out there! I'm not wandering up there now!"

"As you wish," Folded Quill said, nodding her head. "However, if I may provide some details. May I borrow a quill and some paper?"

Folded Quill started writing. After a couple of minutes, Twilight got up and stood next to her, looking over her shoulder and providing suggestions. A list started forming. Halfway through, the Seneschal even stopped calling her "Ms Sparkle", so Twilight figured she must've done some good.

They went over dinners, and lunches, and the average eating capacity of a pegsus (one light snack or small meal, vegetables, pulses, sometimes fish depending on how rural they were), and of an earth pony (anywhere from a good dinner to several courses and a number of desserts), and of a unicorn (somewhere between the two). They covered wait staff, costs, commissions, the difference between a waiter and a Garçon and how much Twilight would have to pay each. They itemised the number of bunches of flowers they'd have to purchase: what would be in season, what should go where to make everyone look best.

And then it was done. Folded Quill performed some sort of bureaucratic earth pony magic to fold the plan into exact thirds, and placed it on one corner of Twilight's writing desk.

"I'll start work on that tomorrow," said Twilight, eyeing the list. It was considerably longer than she'd expected.

"As you wish, ma'am," Folded Quill replied. She gave a curt nod. "In the meantime, you should get some sleep."

Twilight shot the High Seneschal a look. "Shouldn't you be getting some sleep at some point?"

"As you wish." The earth pony walked to the door. "Should you need assistance with your tasks, you know where to find me."

Folded Quill strode out into the night. Twilight waited a good minute after she'd left before letting out a breath. "'Should I need assistance,'" she muttered, gathering up a few stray books and grabbing the lantern from the wall. She made her way up the stairs, lantern trailing behind her. "I'll show her assistance," she grumbled. "I'll show some assistance to her...oh, damn."

The light in the study was still burning. She stashed the books on a nearby shelf, put the lantern down carefully next to them, and galloped into the room.

"Sorry, sorry!" she said. "I got a bit-"

The room was empty.

"-oh."

A page turned behind her. "They left quarter of an hour ago. Weren't you downstairs?"

Rarity lounged in one of the alcoves, leafing idly through the Antagonists and Adversaries expansion.

"Oh! Hello Rarity. Uh." Twilight searched her mind. Maybe someone had came and talked to her and Folded Quill? She couldn't remember - she'd been busy calculating how many gross of fruit pies to order, while fighting off another part of her brain that was arguing that it was stupid to order fruit pies in units of twelve, and if she just had a month to herself she could turn the whole sweet pastry industry upside-down with her novel, decimal ideas.

Rarity gave her a disapproving look.

Twilight hung her head. "I was a terrible host again, wasn't I."

"It wasn't that bad," said Rarity. She sent the book over to the table, placing it on top of the others. "It was quite entertaining, really, until the point where you-"

"I know," said Twilight. "The point where I dashed out of the room and left you guys to clean up."

Rarity gave the table an appraising glance. "Well," she said. "With Rainbow Dash, 'clean up' might be a bit of a stretch."

Twilight started putting the gaming books away. They all just about fit in the box, which was by this stage mainly masking tape. On the cover, faded by years of sunlight, a giant robot battled three ponies, each with their own technological gadgets. The title proclaimed: Foes & Firearms, Second Edition. On the inside of the box, a young colt some years ago had scrawled: Property of Shining Armour. Keep your hooves off - this means YOU Twilight.

Twilight grinned as she put the lid on the box. She was sure her brother wouldn't mind her messing with his stuff a little bit.

"Where did you find this, anyway?" Rarity asked. "It's awfully..."

"Old?" Twilight suggested.

"I was going to say 'retro'." Rarity gathered the detritus of Rainbow Dash's gaming spot with a sweep of magic and escorted it to the wastepaper basket. "But 'old' covers it adequately."

"It was in one of the boxes I brought from my parents' place," Twilight said. "It must have got mixed up with my stuff at some point. Shining Armour and his friends would play this for hours - they'd take up the attic for the whole day. All we'd hear is them rolling dice and laughing."

"And you thought maybe now he wasn't using it, you could find out what all the fuss was about?"

"Something like that." Twilight slipped the game box - and the pencils and the scraps of paper she'd been keeping notes on - onto a nearby shelf. She sat down at the table. "And-"

Rarity raised an eyebrow.

"And, I guess I don't get to see you guys as much now. With all the..." she waved a forehoof vaguely in the direction of her wings. "Princessing."

"You could just ask us around for tea or something, dear."

"Yeah, I know, but..." Twilight sighed. "Look, you've got the boutique, and Pinkie will probably take over at the bakery at some point, and Applejack's got the farm and...I guess we all have our own little worlds we disappear into."

Rarity stood up. "Twilight," she said, walking over. "Is everything all right?"

Twilight grinned. "I...guess? I mean -" she waved her hooves in front of her, grinning goofily. "I'm an alicorn, look at me!" She dropped her hooves. "They had to put through a motion in the Commons for that. Changing into an alicorn, that is. And now I'm honorary royalty or maybe even technically royalty - I'm still not sure how that works - and I guess my name will go down in history books and it's really handy for getting stuff of the tops of shelves and cupboard and things."

"But..." prompted Rarity.

"But it's supposed to be a fairy-tale ending! And they lived happily ever after and everyone ate cake and there were rainbows and butterflies! But instead I've got to organise things! And people expect me to govern them, or make decisions! Did you know I'm legally allowed to have someone beheaded now? I mean, it'd never get through because ponies would probably petition or something to stop it happening, but still! It says in the Laws of Equestria that as a Princess I can have someone's head chopped off! I don't even have to supply a reason!"

"Uh, can I ask why you-"

"And now I have to have a retinue! I thought I could get away with Spike managing everything but apparently there's laws that state I have to have an earth pony managing "domestic affairs", whatever that means. I mean, why specifically an earth pony? Are pegasi genetically predisposed against towels or something? Would it bring ruin to have a unicorn managing my  books?"

"Well, I-"

"And now I have a High Seneschal, only they should just rename her Grand Nuisance, and she keeps on coming over to the library and commenting on how it'll be-" Twilight raised her snout into the air, looking down at Rarity along her nose, "'So nice to have a proper estate for you, ma'am.' And she keeps on giving me these things to do or just mentioning that someone should probably see to varnishing the countryside or running a bunny census or whatever, because that's apparently what's done. And then when I've done that suddenly there's another thing, and there's no one else to do it and all I want to do is sit in my room and read my books!"

Rarity raised an eyebrow.

"...sorry." Twilight looked at her hooves. "I guess I had some stuff on my mind is all."

"That's fine, dear," said Rarity. The unicorn pulled out one of the chairs and sat down across from Twilight. "It's perfectly understandable. After all, your elevation was somewhat...abrupt. Presumably if you were born into the job you'd have had years of training for this."

"I guess," said Twilight, placing her head in her hooves. "But everyone just expects I'll pick it up as I go."

"Can't you ask the Princess for help?" Rarity asked. "Uh, the other Princess?"

"Celestia's away on some diplomatic thing again," Twilight said. "She wrote me a letter yesterday - apparently she gets about five minutes to herself each day, and the rest of it she's busy being a chair for some subcommittee on intermagical denominations or something."

"What about Luna, then? Or Cadance?"

"Cadance and Shining Armour finally managed to get everything together so they could go on their honeymoon, so they're off exploring vast tracts of unknown land and making contact with new civilisations or something. I wouldn't have the faintest clue how to get in touch even if I knew where they were. And Luna...well..."

"Things still a bit awkward between you two, then?"

"I don't know, Rarity. I feel like I'm...I guess like I'm trying to replace her."

Rarity placed her hooves together and rested her chin on their intersection. "Are you?" she asked.

"No!" Twilight's eyes went wide. "But...I mean, first I thwart her plans to rule Equestria, and now I'm an alicorn..."

"To be fair," said Rarity, "she was being a tiny bit megalomaniacal."

"Well, yes, granted. But still, I don't really feel comfortable asking her for advice right now."

Rarity nodded. "Mmm-hmm," she said.

Twilight sighed again. "I'm sorry," she said.  "I'm not really amazing company right now."

"That's fine, darling. Honestly." She gave Twilight's hoof a reassuring pat. "I'd much rather you let this all out. It's unhealthy, you know. You'll get crow's feet."

"I just need to sleep," Twilight said, getting up from the table and stretching. She gave each wing a considered look as she flared it out - they were still new enough that she felt like she had to keep special care of them.

Rarity got up from the table. "Just remember," she said, "there's five other ponies who don't mind shouldering your burdens once in a while."

Twilight started. "Huh? Who?"

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Us, silly. If you do get too bogged down with all this, let us know."

Twilight grinned. "Thanks," she said. Then she trotted forward and gave the unicorn a hug.

"What was that for?" Rarity asked.

"For listening," Twilight said. "And for putting up with my silly game."

"It wasn't that silly," Rarity said, smiling. "If you'd just relax once in a while, you might even have fun with it."

The two of them trotted down the stairs in silence, Twilight carrying a lantern behind her in the nimbus of her magic.

Rarity paused at the doorway, looking back at Twilight. "Will you be running another session?"

Twilight pawed at the floorboard. "Well..." she said. "I don't know. The game wasn't very realistic, was it?"

"Twilight, we have plenty of realism right here. It's called reality. Sometimes, you want to escape, you know?" She smiled. "We all have our own little worlds, after all."

Twilight grinned. "Oh," she said, "so you do want another session."

"I didn't say that," said Rarity, tossing her head in a mock-disaffected manner. "But if we are, I should work out what techs my character should bring along next time. Can't be too prepared, you know."

"I'll think about it," Twilight said. "Night, Rarity."

"Good night, Twilight. Try to get some sleep."

Twilight wandered back up the stairs, lantern floating behind her.

It was weird. Rarity hadn't told her anything she didn't know, but she still felt...lighter, somehow. She still had that list on her writing desk to deal with, and the coronation to arrange, and goodness knows what else would pop up during the day. But it seemed slightly less of a problem than it had half an hour ago.

Maybe I should take her up on that offer to help, She thought as she trotted into her bedroom. It's not like a little bit of delegation ever did anypony any harm.

She put the lantern down next to her bed, climbed in, arranged the covers over herself so she somewhat resembled a pony sleeping in a bed, and blew out the light.

Darkness. She lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Something was nagging at her. She backtracked, trying to work out what it was.

Oh. Right.

Delegation.

Her horn glowed. She tended to keep a notebook and quill next to her bed for moments just like these. She turned to a fresh page and began to draft a note.

To High Seneschal Folded Quill

For Princess-related reasons it is imperative that I secure the following books from retailers in Canterlot...