The Wub Boat

by derpyhooves15

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life
Length: 689

Pirate radio, Vinyl Scratch and maybe some love? What more could you want?

"Hi. I'm Vinyl Scratch, the dynamic DJ, and you're listening to Scratch's Sound, the number one radio station in all of Equestria!"
Then why am I floating in the middle of the bloody ocean?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-27 13:49:15 UTC

Rock 'n' Rolling on the high seas

Chapter 1: Rock 'n' Rolling on the high seas

"Gooooooooddddd morning Equestria, you're listening Scratch's Sound, 203 metres on the Medium Waveband and the premier fuel of you pumped up ponies! Yes, I am Vinyl Scratch, the super sexy pony of sound and I'm here to rock you-"

With a heave, Vinyl was tipped from her chair and into a pile of coiled wires, screaming as she went. With her smack, her nose banged onto the wall adding to the web of cracks already decorating the space.

"Son of a Bitch! Salty! We're moving this rusting bath tub tomorrow! I'm fed up of these damned waves."

Vinyl pulled herself out of the now tangled wires, rubbing her muzzle with her hoof. It felt wet and warm, a telltale sign that she was going to be adding even more tissues to the heap of red stained paper filling her bin. She reached for the microphone and spoke once again.

"Sorry about that folks. Our station tends to roll around a bit. Nobles are bastards aren't they! You heard me! Little miss Scratch, cursing on the air, how shocking! Well it's true. You may remember me ranting about them doing everything they could to shut me down and my 'heathen ways'. Well, they won. Cut of my funds and raised taxes that would effect mwah. I know, I know, you're crying your eyes out and reaching for the tissues, but do not fret my little pony pals. I have two words that will make you laugh and love. Pirate radio. Yeh Baby, I'm illegal and here to stay. Can't touch this!"

She flicked a switch and on came the record. Vinyl relaxed back into the seat, tilting her head back to stem the trickle of blood dripping onto the instrument panel.

"Salty! Could 'ya' bring in some more tissues."

After a few seconds of nothing but the muted blare of music through the pair of electric blue headphones hanging around Vinyl's neck, she sighed.

"Please."

The quite plod of hoofs came from down the corridor. Through the door came a small grey stallion earth pony. Not young, but definitely small. His weathered body stood less than half the height of Vinyl. Still, she'd noticed that despite his height, he was built like a brick shit house, smelt like one half the time to. What little of his mane there was was coloured a deep blue, almost black. He set down a box of tissues on the console and gave her his best cheeky smirk.

"Stop it you. I was serious earlier though, we're moving this thing somewhere calmer the next chance we get. I'm fed up of the waves around here."

From a small pouch strapped to his chest, Salty pulled out a spiral bound notebook and a pencil. Setting it down on Vinyl's arm rest, he scrawled away at the paper before pushing it round to show the unicorn.

Sea legs?

"I was sat down, Salty"

He scribbled away again

Sea ass?

"Cheek bastard, you've only known me for a few days. Just remember that said ass is of limits to you and every other stallion, ey? Anyway, shouldn't you be making sure this rusty piece of crap isn't sinking or anything? Go on, scram! I've got ponies to entertain."

As Salty scrambled away, Vinyl flicked the switch and the record stopped.

"Yeah baby, that was MC Jackhammer with one of the classics. Did you know he used to be a construction worker in Cloudsdale? Well on day his jackhammer fell over the edge of the clouds and landed in front of a record producer... you can guess the rest. Anyway, it is now the case that I am broadcasting from the middle the Equestrian sea on a shabby boat. Unfortunately, you can no longer contact me through the Equestrian mail service due to my lack of address, but that's cool, just find someone with access to dragon mail and ask for 'Scratch's Schooner' or 'Vinyl Scratch'. But enough of my slightly so boring speeches, lets have a bit of classic Ska"