Luna Drops the Soap

by Drakkith

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 3697

Luna drops the soap and what began as an uneventful bath turns into a nonsensical fight for the castle.

Luna drops the soap and what began as an uneventful bath turns into a nonsensical fight for the castle.

Spanish Translation: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/A-Luna-se-le-cae-el-jabon-1022794836

Published 2013-05-27 15:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-27 15:50:01 UTC

Luna Drops the Soap

Luna lay in the tub, soaking in the hot water and letting the night’s worries fade away. She plunged her head and mane underwater and came up a few seconds later to spit a small stream up into the air before letting it rain down upon her.

A green, rectangular object sat at the side of the tub. The soap. Distracted by dealing with her own wet mane, she accidentally bumped it with her hoof and knocked it into the water.

“Whoops."

She reached for the bar and wrapped her hoof around it, only to have it slip from her grasp and float a little further away towards the front of the tub. Frowning, she reached for it again, and again it evaded her, this time bumping up against the front corner of the tub where it settled.

Luna’s eyebrows furrowed deeper, turning her frown into a scowl. She shot a hoof underwater and tried to grab it again. The soap dodged her once more and she rained down a flurry of blows in her attempt to grasp the slippery object, sending water shooting up the walls so far it reached the ceiling. She lunged forward and tried to grab it with two hooves, only to have it shoot from the water and bounce off her nose, its normally pleasant scent now horribly overpowering to her soap filled nostrils.

She spent a few moments shaking her head and clearing her nose before looking around for her nemesis. It took only a moment to locate the soap. It lay innocently on the tile floor like it belonged there.

Luna’s eyes narrowed. It was mocking her. Taunting her. It looked so harmless. Just a small green bar. But she saw through its clever disguise and recognized the wickedness inside it. It would do terrible things if she let it. Many ponies would fall to its horrible plans if she failed to stop it.

“You will not escape us!” she yelled.

She dove from the tub and landed on the small bar. But her dark blue fur was sopping wet and the soap thrived in such conditions. It slipped out from under her and bounced off the wall and out the door.

She put a hoof to her face at her lack of foresight. She had left the door cracked to keep the mirror from fogging, a mistake which had allowed the soap to escape. Getting to her feet, she opened the door with her magic and dashed out of the royal bathroom and through the drying room to emerge in the hallway.

It was there. On the floor again. Luna was about to run after it when two guards rounded the corner and stopped to stare at her soaking wet form.

She met their gaze for a moment before gesturing at the bar of soap at their feet. “Guards! Get it before it escapes us again!”

They looked at each other, shrugged, and then one of them dropped himself onto it, no doubt trying to take out the deadly foe with one blow. Luna was impressed by his effort and made a mental note to reward him later.

However the soap was cunning. It had set itself just right so that the guards armor sent it careening off the walls and around the corner.

But not before it claimed its first victim.

The other guard cried out in shock and fell to the ground as the soap impacted him in the face. Luna rushed forward to see him holding his throat while white, foamy suds bubbled from his mouth.

“The taste...so bad...” he said, his eyes rolling about and unable to focus on her.

“No! Get him to a medic before we lose him!” she cried to the other guard who was just getting to his feet.

He looked down at his wounded companion and his eyes widened. He fell to the floor and wrapped his forelegs around the guard.

“No no no! Stay with me Snowball! You’re gonna be okay, alright? I’m gonna get you out of here!” he said. Snowball nodded and coughed up a bubble as his friend helped him up.

With that Luna left the two guards behind and continued after her prey. The bar of soap had come to rest around the corner at the top of a staircase. It teetered on the edge of the top step, and she knew even the slightest breeze from the gentlest breath could send it tumbling down.

She took a step forward and crouched down like a lion stalking its prey, her still-wet mane leaving a slippery trail behind her as she crept towards the soap.

A waft of cool air slowly washed over her. She stopped. The soap rocked; then nearly went over. It held there, hanging at a dangerous angle and she found herself holding her breath.

She inched forward until she was but a few feet away. Just then she heard stomping hooves coming up the stairs. The tip of a spear popped into view, followed by an armored head. Another guard, this one a sergeant. He stopped as soon as he saw her and raised an eyebrow.

“Princess-”

“Silence!” she hissed at him.

The soap was still there on the edge and hadn't moved.

“Say nothing. Do nothing,” she whispered. “Lest it escape us again.”

The guard nodded but she saw him shift his grip on his spear.

“If I fail to capture the beast you have permission to use deadly force. Is that understood?”

He nodded again.

Luna turned her attention back to the soap. It was there. Right in front of her. She could smell it. She could taste its fresh scent in the air. She shuffled her hind legs under her and prepared for a leap.

The seconds passed. The sergeant brought his spear forward ever so slightly. Luna focused, pushing everything away but her own breathing.

The soap swayed towards her. A single bubble burst on the end closest to her and it started to slip off the step.

This was it.

She leaped forward, pouncing on it, grabbing it with two hooves. But the soap hadn't been fooled by her stealthy approach. It shot from her grasp, hit her in the eye, and then ricocheted off the sergeants helmet before tumbling down the steps.

Luna cried out as it hit her and she went over the edge of the step. Her wet, soapy form easily slid on the floor, and gravity took hold of her as soon as she passed the edge. She crashed into the sergeant and both slid down the stairs in a tangle of wet limbs and armor before coming to rest on the floor.

Luna hissed, clutching her eye with a hoof. It burned like the anger inside her, and she silently cursed at the slippery rodent.

It had wounded her! The soap would pay dearly for taking her sight!

More guards, including a captain, arrived and helped them up. He scowled when he saw her wounded eye.

“The Princess is wounded!” he said, turning to his subordinates. “Spread out. Find the attacker and slay them!”

They saluted and took off in different directions, heading into the maze of hallways that ran through the castle.

“Are you alright Princess?” the sergeant who had fallen on her asked.

“We will live,” she told him, her anger creeping into her voice. “Now go! Find the monster! Destroy it!”

The sergeant saluted her and took off with the rest of the guards. Luna took a moment to compose herself. It would not do for her anger to control her. She took a few deep breaths and tried to ignore the burning in her eye. She took stock of herself. Her coat and mane were still soaked and she couldn't open her eye. She’d never dare show herself in such a state under normal circumstances, but this was war.

A commotion down one of the hallways cut her break short and she took off towards the sounds of battle. She ran, her hooves clicking on the stone floor, following her ears until after several turns she emerged into a kitchen. Her eyes widened at the carnage before her.

The floor was covered in warm water that had spilled from overturned pots scattered about the room. A variety of vegetables, breads, spices, and other assorted foodstuffs littered the floor and mixed with the trail of soapiness left behind by her foe. On the ground, moaning and twitching, were a half dozen guards and four other ponies; presumably the cooking staff. She splashed forward and kicked a soggy loaf of bread out of the way before putting her forelegs around the nearest cook and picking him up into a half-sitting position. He reached up and grabbed her neck with a foreleg that still held a carrot and looked at her with tear-filled eyes.

“It-it got in the soup...oh sweet Celestia, it was in the soup!” he cried.

She pulled him into her embrace and he continued.

“I-I don’t understand. How did it get in the soup? How did it even get in here? It-it doesn't make any sense! Why doesn't it make any sense!?” he asked. Then he was sobbing into her mane and repeating the question over and over through his tears.

Luna held him while he cried. She stroked his mane and whispered into his ear until he had calmed down.

“Which way did it go?” she asked.

He pointed a shaky hoof towards one of the doors in the back. “That way, Princess. It went that way.”

“Thank you,” she said. Then she looked around the room and surveyed the damage. “The beast has destroyed your hard work and I promise I will avenge you. Now rest until help arrives.”

With that she laid him back down and carefully stepped over the other moaning ponies on the floor before leaving the kitchen through the door the soap had taken and galloping down the hallway. Now that she knew which way it had gone she found it easy to see the bubbly marks it had left on the wall in passing. Occasionally she was forced to step over a downed guard or other castle worker laying on the floor, each of them foaming at the mouth or holding their hooves to their eyes. She felt their pain. Her own eye still stung, though at least she was able to open it now.

The trail led to gardens and Luna’s mouth dropped open when she stepped outside into the night air.

“By the heavens...” she said as she stared at the moonlit scene before her.

The gardens looked like someone had poured a thousand gallons of bubble bath everywhere right before it had rained. Bubbles floated up from the carpet of foam that covered the entire ground and every tree, bush, and critter she could see.

“Desecration of the castle grounds?! We will not allow this to continue!” she shouted. “Do you hear us!? We will rip whatever foulness you call a soul from your cold, slippery body and make you watch as we tear it to shreds before you!”

A single gardener trotted by and nodded in greeting, whistling while he strode through the mess, as if oblivious to the catastrophe surrounding him. Luna watched him fade away into the froth and shook her head in confusion. She pushed the obviously distraught gardener from her mind and cantered forward through the water. It came up to her ankles and she had to use her wings to keep herself balanced and to stop her from slipping.

She sensed a magical presence from somewhere in the gardens and veered towards it. The way to her target took her off the rocky path and the soapy muck quickly became a dirty, muddy mess around her lower legs.

She continued forward through the trees carefully, her eyes darting around in search of her foe. It was the middle of the night, and most ponies would have had difficulty just finding their way through the gardens with only the moonlight to illuminate the area. But Luna was the Princess of the Night, and to her eyes the world was lit up as well as if it had been midday. Perhaps better since she needed not squint. The dark shadows hid nothing from her penetrating gaze and she saw countless creatures moving about in an attempt to get out of the muck.

Pushing on, she finally came to a clearing in the gardens. A single fountain, used by visitors to cool off and to make wishes, normally sat in the center of the circle of grass.

But no longer.

In its place was a terrible monstrosity. It was at least twenty feet high, with a cyclone of foamy, muddy water making up its body and two smaller cyclones forming something akin to arms. The water at the top of its body parted, taking on the shape of a mouth. It leaned towards her and roared, filling the air with a deluge of filth that would have struck her in the face had she not shielded herself behind a wing.

“We JUST bathed you monster!” she cried as she flicked muck from her wing.

The soap elemental made no reply, instead it charged forward and swung an arm at her. She leaped backwards and again had to duck her face behind a wing as the incoming blow struck the ground and sent up a wave of dirty water from the impact point.

She looked over her wing and cried, “You DARE attack the Princess of the Night while under the light of the moon!? So be it, beast!”

It struck at her again and she took to the air to avoid the blow. Pumping her wet wings, she accelerated and circled around the elemental. A beam of white light shot shot from her horn and struck the monster in the chest. There was an eruption of steam where the beam struck and Luna smiled at the cry of pain she elicited from the elemental.

“The power of the moon shall destroy you!” she cried as she blasted it again.

It blocked her blast with one arm and reached out to grab her with the other. She rolled and arced around the blow, returning the favor with another blast from her horn. She circled and blasted the beast again and again, staying just out of reach of its arms.

One of her blasts hit the elemental in the mouth. It roared, and for a moment it looked like it was breathing smoke as steam poured from the wound. Then its arm wrapped around a nearby bench and ripped it from its anchor points in the ground. Roaring again it pitched back and threw the bench at her. She pumped her wings and dodged the missile and was about to hit it with another blast when its arm suddenly shot out, stretching further than she thought possible in its attempt to get to her.

She tried to dodge, but avoiding the bench had spoiled her velocity and she was unable to avoid the incoming blow. The cold water crashed into her and slammed her into the ground. She landed on her left wing and grimaced as pain flared through it. Foul water filled her mouth. She rose and spat the gritty liquid out as she looked around. The impact had sent muddy water shooting into the air and dirty drops rained down upon her for several seconds while she got her bearings.

Something filled her vision and she barely managed to leap away from a two-armed blow that would have ended her. She took off, galloping through the trees and the elemental roared behind her. She cut right as a jet of water demolished a cluster of trees in front of her and started to zig zag through the garden. Her erratic sprint took her around the area and she slid to a halt as she suddenly emerged into the clearing again.

The elemental was still there. She was behind it and smiled when she realized it hadn't noticed her presence yet. It flailed about, crying out in frustration as it searched for her. She took advantage of the opportunity and channeled magic into her horn. A glow built up within it and small spheres of magical energy began to shimmer in and out of existence around it. The elemental finally turned and saw her. It charged forwards, ready to crush her into the ground. But she was ready for it.

“It is over!” she cried.

A large beam of light, almost as wide as her head, erupted from her horn and hit the elemental. Steam filled the air and she nearly choked on the horrible stench. She stood there, breathing heavily for several moments, waiting for the foggy air to clear. Then a strange sensation came over her lower legs. She looked down and saw the water flowing away from her towards where the elemental had been.

Dread filled her. The air cleared and Luna gasped.

The elemental was still intact. It had blocked the blow with both arms and lost them in the process. But foul water flowed from the rest of the gardens into its lower body and she saw a small bulge on each side growing as the seconds passed. It was regrowing its arms.

Luna took a breath to prepare for what she was about to do. She rose up on her hind legs and threw her head back so her horn pointed right at the full moon above. Focusing, she sought out the glowing orb and commanded it to give up some of its overwhelming power.

She felt the connection strengthen as her celestial sphere responded to her calls. Power filled her. Brilliant light shone from her eyes and horn and lit up the clearing.

In front of her the elemental was almost done reforming its arms. It opened its mouth and roared again, and Luna was glad she was too far away to be hit by the spray this time.

She strained, her face contorting with the effort of channeling the power of a celestial body. There was a bright flash, along with something that sounded like a thunderclap, and light erupted out of the ground around her. Spreading her wings she rose on the column of moonlight until she was a dozen feet off the ground. There she floated, wings out, her horn and eyes glowing brighter by the second.

Worry began to eat at her mind. She didn't know if she’d make it. The elemental roared once more as it finished rebuilding itself and it surged forward, its swirling body knocking a few benches out of the way as it accelerated towards her.

Her spell was almost complete. She needed just seconds.

The elemental drew back its arm and made to strike her.

Luna cried out and pulled in the last of the magical power she needed.

It was upon her. She saw only muddy, frothy water as the blow fell. Her cry grew louder and echoed across the castle grounds as she yelled out to it.

“DIE!”

Her horn blazed brighter than ever. Light, a million moons worth, exploded outwards from it and engulfed the elemental entirely. There was an explosion. Hot, foul smelling air filled with steam threw her backwards in the air and she flapped her wings to steady herself.

The light from her horn faded and she looked down upon the garden. The elemental was no more. She had blasted it out of existence. But there...right where it had died...something was hovering ten feet from the ground. She swooped in and recognized the object when she got close.

The soap.

It hung there, slowly turning in midair, as if waiting for her. She dove for it and her hooves dug into the soft block, dragging it down with her as she landed. With only her back hooves free she couldn't stand. Instead she fell to her back and with a triumphant cry lifted the soap up above her.

“We are victorious! It was foolish to stand against us, for we have more power than you can possibly imagine!”

It was over. Now the soap would see justice. She grinned and squeezed, and the bar deformed a bit. Her grin grew wider. She would take her time. It was the least she could do to repay those who had fallen. She would-

A light cough sounded out and interrupted her thoughts.

Luna looked up at the source. She was in the royal bathroom and Celestia, large, white, regal, stood in the doorway with a towel around her neck. Her sister’s eyes danced around and took in the sight. Luna was on her back on the tile floor with a misshapen bar of soap held above her and the entire bathroom was soaked and covered in bubbly foam. A now empty bottle of bubble bath lay open and on the floor next to the bathtub. It looked like someone had stepped on it.

Celestia stifled a laugh and said, “I have never seen the Royal Bathroom decorated in such a manner. What did you do, sister?”

An embarrassed smile spread across Luna’s face. “We... dropped the soap, Tia. It was slippery...”

“I see...” Celestia said. She looked up above her. Her eyes widened and she put a hoof to her mouth. “Oh my, it’s on the ceiling too, isn't it.”

From her vantage point on her back Luna could see that the ceiling was, in fact, covered in bubbles too.

Celestia shook her head and said, “Well, I suppose there is only one thing to do.”

With that the sun goddess threw the towel back into the other room and leaped forward, landing on the slippery floor and sliding towards her sister.

Luna shrieked as Celestia grabbed her and their laughter could be heard outside as they tried to throw one another into the tub.

Author's Note

Just a nonsensical little story to help me work on my action scenes. As always, comment below with, well, comments of course.