The Mares' Room

by Puppo530

First published May 28th, 2013 06:50

In the mares' room at their high school, Rarity, who's popular, Rainbow Dash, who's bossy, Applejack, who's an exchange student from Appleloosa, and Derpy, who likes muffins, convene to talk about their daily lives and the troubles they have with stallions.

Based on the recurring sketch The Girls' Room from "The Amanda Show".

Chapters

The School Elections

The School Elections
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The Mares' Room

The School Elections

Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Derpy Hooves were gathered together to talk about anything they wanted to talk about as they did every day . They huddled in the corner with Rarity sitting on the garbage can that she thoroughly cleaned every few minutes, Rainbow Dash sitting on the counter with sinks that somepony would wash their hooves on, Applejack was sitting on the bench beside the trashcan, and Derpy just stood around, not really doing anything. Surrounding them on the walls were posters and flyers advertising slogans such as "Vote for Rarity", "Rarity for President", and "Rarity Wants YOU to Vote for Her". It was practically impossible to see any of the bare wall behind the posters, they were in such large numbers.

"Welcome to the mares' room, everypony," Rarity announced as the bell starting passing period rang. She clutched the clipboard she was holding closer to her body. "As you all know, I'm Rarity and I'm extremely popular."

"I'm Rainbow Dash," the mare next to her started introducing herself as well, "so back off!"

"I'm Applejack," she introduced, "and I'm an exchange student from Appleloosa."

Derpy, on the other hand, just stood there, smiling to herself and swaying ever so slightly back and forth, as if in a trance. Rainbow Dash quickly corrected this problem. "Derpy! Introduce yourself" She clapped her hooves together.

"Oh! Hi! I'm Derpy and I've been sober for twenty months!"

"No you featherbrain," Rainbow yelled, "we're doing the meeting thing we always do in the mares' room!"

"Oh!" Derpy paused, and then announced, "I like muffins!"

Rarity quickly regained control of the situation. "Okay, let's get back to me now. We're meeting here today-"

"Like every day," Applejack commented.

"-to discuss my campaign for president of Ponyville High School!" The four mares cheered, for they knew that their fearless leader, Rarity, would undoubtedly win the race.

"One of my life goals is to shoot a snake with a shotgun!" Everypony stared at Derpy questioningly.

"What the heck is a shotgun?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Anyway," Rarity brought the conversation back around to her, "let's go over the campaign checklist." She began to read from her clipboard. "Number one: Buttons."

Rainbow Dash pulled a plastic bag out of nowhere with buttons advertising Rarity's candidacy and how one should vote for her. "Buttons," she called out militaristically.

"Number two: Posters."

Applejack pulled a poster from behind the bench she was sitting on. "Posters."

"And number three: Candy."

Derpy reached behind her and pulled out a large trash bag. "Trash!"

"Derpy, why did you bring us trash for Rarity's campaign?" Applejack chided.

"And why does the trash bag say 'Happy Foals of July'?" Rainbow Dash added.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Happy Christmas!"

"Derpy, you are too random," Rainbow warned.

At that moment, somepony else strolled into the mares' room. Roseluck saw the posse gathered in the corner and quickly tried to leave, but Rainbow Dash swooped in and stopped her from leaving. The rest of the gang gathered around their new target, ready to strike with the ultimate question.

"So, Rose," Rarity took a step forward and asked, "for whom will you be voting in this upcoming election?"

"Um... uh... I- I haven't really decided yet..." Rose whimpered, trying not to get jumped.

"It looks like she needs help making up her mind. Dashie?"

"I'm on it." Rainbow Dash grabbed Roseluck by the mane and dragged her into the nearest stall. Once the door was closed, she dunked her victim in the toilet and flushed the water down the pipes. After the swirlie, Rose was released back through the door, obviously shaken and wet.

"I'm voting for you, Rarity!" she quickly said as she bolted out of the door. Rainbow Dash and Rarity hoof bumped to celebrate the new vote.

With that, a new mare walked into the bathroom. This one had a azure coat and a cornflower blue mane that commanded fierce attention from the other ponies in the restroom. Trixie Lulamoon trotted promptly over to the sink to wash up when Rarity stopped her.

"Trixie? What are you doing here?"

"It is the mares' room, and I am a mare," she responded coldly.

Rainbow Dash leaned over to Rarity and whispered a bit too loudly, "As far as we know." Trixie glared at her and continued on her way to the sink. Rarity stood up from her spot on the trash can and made her way over to where Trixie stood.

"So, Trixie, are you going to be voting for me, Rarity, in the school elections?"

Trixie turned off the water and faced her popular nemesis. "Why would I vote for you when I am in the running too, Rarity?" They glared at each other for several seconds before Trixie added, "Besides, I hear that there's a new pony in school, and she's running for president too."

"What? A new pony? What's her name?"

"Something stupid like Caramel."

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity shouted at the only rough member of her entourage.

"I'm on it," the pegasus replied back as she swooped out the door to the mares' room to find Caramel, leaving Rarity and Trixie to become allies against a common enemy.

"I can't believe somepony new would try to come in and steal our spotlight!" Rarity yelled.

"I know, right? The nerve of some ponies!" Trixie agreed.

Rainbow Dash poked her head through the door. "I found Caramel. Do you want me to bring them in?"

"Yes, Dashie! Bring her in at once!" Rarity commanded. Rainbow Dash shrugged and pulled her head back out of the door.

In a moment, she entered once again, this time carrying a brown-coated stallion behind her. She dropped Caramel in front of the rest of the mares and flew back to her original counter spot. The mares were perplexed at this. A stallion was not supposed to be in the mares' room. They had thought that Caramel was a female, but they discovered that their new competition was, in their eyes, incredibly handsome. Panicked, Rarity shouted, "Emergency conference!" All of the mares in the room gathered over in the corner, frequently looking back at Caramel, who was shaken and now extremely confused.

After the conference was disbanded, Rarity and Trixie trotted over to their campaign rival and made an announcement. "We have decided to stop running for presidency and give our full support to Caramel!" Ending on that happy note, the mares dog piled on top of Caramel, threatening his very existence as the end of passing period bell sounded.

Author's Note

If you want to understand everything about me, just go back and watch every single show on Nickelodeon from when I was growing up. That'll pretty much cover it.