Amontillado

Uncouth!

Monster!

Pervert!

How dare she! How dare she call you these things. Oh, she’s going to get it now. Stupid Rarity, always ruining your fun. You were just having a tea party with Sweetie Belle, and by tea party you mean she was at school while you were in Rarity’s room going through her sock drawer...

Hey! Don’t judge me, she smells good.

She caught you naked except for one of her socks dangling off your junk. Stupid mare bucked you out the window. Luckily you landed on Derpy. She’ll get out of the hospital next month, but tonight, tonight you shall have your revenge.

You’ve sustained yourself on a steady diet of Rainbow Dash’s cooking. It’s safe to say that you have no idea what’s in you right now. You’ve also eaten an entire box of chocolate laxatives. You find yourself in a bit of a hurry now. The moment is close. You bring your tools with you as you head over to her place. She’ll be in Canterlot for the next few days. Plenty of time to go about your work.  She left the house unlocked, stupid trusting ponies. You go into her bedroom and knock a hole in the wall with a hammer. Quickly pulling your trousers down you stick your ass into the wall and release.

Angry Cossacks thunder from within your colon.

You are squeezed by the invisible hand of god.

The smell has a physical force.

It whispers evil things and must be sealed for the good of all.

You repair the damage to the wall.  It is easy considering how skilled a carpenter you are. The work is flawless. No one could know what took place here. You leave in the dead of night.

Your revenge. Sated.

That night you giggle yourself to sleep wondering how long before Rarity’s house is condemned.

Today was a “for the love of god Montressor” day.