Ch 1: Today

The early morning train pulled into Ponyville station, it’s brakes letting out a hiss of steam as the locomotive screeched to a stop. The doors opened, letting out a herd of sleepy ponies who had woken up early so that they didn’t miss their stop. The group dispersed, leaving a bandaged pony standing by himself on the platform. Red smelled the morning air. It was saturated with the scents of flowers that didn’t grow up north in Canadeer. He began to trot to the nearby market, which was already filled with ponies going about their business.

As Red trotted along, he couldn’t help but make an important observation: ‘I’m in paradise! These mares, they’re all NAKED! What wonders I have been missing out on. Joy to the weather team for bring about such a beautiful day that all the mares in this town go without cloths. I have spent far too long around conservatively dressed does.’ By this point, Red’s nose was gushing blood. He had to take a moment to stop the bleeding before he made a mess.

As Red continued down the street, he made notes on all the interesting sights (and mares) in the town, his nose caught the scent of freshly baked goods. Making a bee-line for the source of the heavenly aroma, the hungry stallion found himself in front of a bakery shaped like a gingerbread house. “Sugarcube Corner,” he read the sign aloud. ‘Mmmmm… pasteries,’ he thought, and strode in to acquire his breakfast.

Red walked up to the counter and peered in. He saw cakes, doughnuts, and pastries galore. His eyes stopped when he found his target. “Two croissants, please,” he asked the yellow stallion behind the counter. Said stallion was giving him a strange look, probably on account of Red’s bandages, but produced the requested pastries.

“Two bits, sir,” the stallion said.

Red handed over the requested bits. ‘That’s it. I’m officially broke,’ he thought to himself.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to be new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen a unicorn with a horn like that around here,” the baker spoke.

“You know, It’s rude to point out somepony’s birth defects.” The baker gulped and muttered an apology. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Yeah, I’m new around here. Just got off the train a few minutes ago. Why do you ask?” Red asked.

“My employee, Pinkie Pie, is probably going to give you the town welcome. I just hope she doesn’t do it in here, or she’ll wake my twins up. Name’s Carrot Cake, by the way.”

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Red,” he spoke. The oven timers in the back sounded with a ding, drawing Carrot Cake into the back. Red sat down at a vacant table and reached into his paper bag for the croissants. ‘I hope they’re as good as the ones in Quebuck.’ When he looked back up, he jerked back in surprise. Only inches from his face were a pair of big blue eyes staring intensely into his uncovered grey eye.

The mare attached to the pair of blue eyes spoke, “I haven’t seen you around here before. *GASP* You must be new here! HI! I’M PINKIE PIE! ARE YOU A MUMMY? WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” Her voice grew louder as she spoke.

“Red. You must be Pinkie Pie.”

“*gasp* How did you know my name? Magic?”

“Nope, your boss told me.”

“Oh, hehehe. Well then,

Welcome welcome welcome!
A fine welcome to you!
Welcome welcome welcome!
I say how do you do?"

Throughout her song, Red couldn’t help but stare at her flanks. In fact, he was so engrossed with her ‘dancing’ that he didn’t even notice her pull out a wagon from behind the counter.

“Welcome welcome welcome
I say hip hip hurray!
Welcome welcome welcome!
To Ponyville today!

”

A moment passed. Then Pinkie said, “Wait for it!” and the wagon exploded in a burst of confetti.

“Hahaha! Wonderful! That was-“ Red was cut off by the sound of babies crying from upstairs.

“Oh no. I woke up the twins. Now Mr. and Mrs. Cake are going to be mad at me.” The pink mare dashed upstairs.

‘I wonder if that happens often,’ Red thought to himself, ‘perhaps I can help.’ He followed Pinkie upstairs. Red found her in front of a doorway. The sound of upset babies could be clearly heard here. “Umm… Can I help?”

Carrot Cake popped his head out of the room, “Oh uhh… Red. No, I think my wife and I have everything under control. Don’t worry about us.”

“I know a quieting charm. It would help stop this from happening in the future.”

“Really? Oh, that would be a big help. Could you do that for us?” Carrot asked?

“I wouldn’t have offered otherwise, Mr. Cake. Here,” Red spoke as he walked into the room. He saw Mrs. Cake cradling the two infants, who were busy crying their heads off. Red reached into the his saddle bags and pulled out a silver quill, which was quickly jabbed into his arm. Blood quickly flowed over the quill, encasing it in a crimson coating. The ponies around him gaped at his actions. He removed the quill from his arm, the blood flow stopping almost as fast as it started. Red tossed the blood soaked quill into the middle of the room, where it landed tip down without falling over. The blood began to flow off of the writing instrument and spread in a circle around it. The flowing blood began to collect into thin lines and darken until it looked almost like ink. When the whole process was finished, the now silver quill fell over in the middle of a half meter circular rune. Red concentrated for a moment and the rune flashed briefly. The noise from the restaurant below instantly dropped to a mere whisper. Even the cries of the twins sounded muffled.

Red gestured for Mr. Cake to come outside. Upon leaving the room, the noise resumed it’s normal volume. “I’m sure you want an explanation. That was a blood rune. Specifically, one for an auditory illusion. It makes you think that everything is actually quieter than it is. That way, anypony outside the room will still hear your twins if they cry, but they won’t hear any of the loud noises from below. You can turn it on and off. Just stand on the rune and imagine making it come on or off. If you want it gone, you can wash it out with soap and water while it’s turned off. While it’s on, however, this rune cannot be damaged, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Well thanks. That’s really helpful, if a bit creepy,” Mr. Cake said.

“No problem. Making runes is what I do for a living. Hehehe… Even though I’m broke right now, consider this one on the house.”

“Oh, well thanks!” Mr. Cake said.

“Don’t mention it. Hey, and thanks for the croissants. They smell delicious. Maybe I’ll see you ‘round?”

Red walked through town, munching on his croissants. His eyes wandered around the marketplace, stopping to glance at the wares (and mares) available. He enjoyed looking at what was on display.

Eventually, he came to an empty spot in the area. He glanced warily at the statue of Princess Celestia nearby. He shivered, the feeling that the statue was watching him came just like it had any other time that he had seen a representation of the sun princess. Ignoring the feeling, he pulled out a blank scroll and his silver quill. A quick jab of his arm, and the blood began to form six runes across the paper. Four identical runes occupied each of the corners of the scroll, and two unique ones sat in the middle. Flipping the scroll over, he activated the two in the middle. The scroll stiffened and grew in size. Then the four on the corners activated, a spike erupting from each. Now supported, Red had himself a makeshift table.

From his saddle bags, he pulled out a huge quantity of scrolls, some filled out and some blank. Red also produced several paper talismans, books, vials of blood, and other odds and ends from his bags. His bandages began to unravel, exposing several layers underneath. Those that did come off began to writhe around like tentacles, scooping up the talismans and suspending them in the air. The entire spectacle made him look like a decorated hearth’s warming tree. Satisfied with the setup, he pulled out one last scroll that read ‘Red’s charms and enchantments: magic for everypony’ and placed it on the front of his stand.

He was ready for business. Now Red just prayed that he gets some. If not, he’s going hungry and sleeping on a park bench tonight.

Author's Note

*Ding* Have a chapter!

If you didn't catch it, RED IS A PERVERT!

Other than that... I don't have much to say about this chapter.

Incoming Spike/Red rivalry