Soul Equestria

That morning, the sun was obstructed by the clouds, it wasn't raining, they just hung over Equestria. Rainbow Dash awoke with a sigh, the day before, Celestia had assigned Black Star as her partner and today she was supposed to a cooperative activity with him. She told Scootaloo she'd be back, and left.

Then, she had an idea, "If that Black Star thinks he's a big shot, than I'll show him up! That'll show him!" she thought. "I could do the Sonic Rainboom, or the buccaneer blaze!"

When she arrived at Canterlot, she was disgusted and jealous at the same time. Black Star was standing high up on the castle, apparently he had climbed up there himself. Even worse, a crowd of ponies was staring at him in awe. Dash couldn't hear what he was shouting, but she was sure it was gloating. He jumped down, and left a large dent in the concrete where he landed.

"And that's why I'm gonna surpass god!" he boasted. There were cheers and whistles coming from the crowd. Dash shoved through angrily.

"Don't you know when to shut up?! Quit being such a show-off and leave the stunts to the professionals!" The crowd let out a surprised "Ooooooooh"

"Oh it's you again, I know your jealous of me and everything, but seriously, you don't wanna mess with me." taunted Black Star. Dash didn't plan on fighting, but that remark set her off. She put her hooves up and bared her teeth together.

"Oh, you wanna fight? Bring it! By the end of today, there will be a new Black Star fan club! I won't even need Tsubaki for this one!" Black Star cracked his knuckles together, and they ran at each other. Just as they were about to clash, a voice cried out:

"STOP!" The crowd gasped as they cleared a path for Celestia. Dash cringed and facehoofed when she saw the look of disappointment on her face.

"Both of you: come with me, now." The usually tranquil princess was beaming with anger, and Black Star felt his body being dragged to the throne room, same with Dash. No matter how much they kicked and screamed, they couldn't break free of Celestia's magic.

"I am very disappointed in both of you. Rainbow Dash, for somepony who plans on joining the elite Wonderbolts, you acted like a filly. And Black Star, Lord Death told me that you were one of the best students at the DWMA!"

"But Celestia, he started it, with his bragging and boasting!"

"That's bullsh-"

"Enough! You two are not getting off with a warning. I have decided to assign you with an extra assignment. There have been noise complaints from ponies living in the mountains. It is your duty to find the cause of it, is this understood? And just to ensure that you stay on task..." Just then, Celestia zapped Black Star and Rainbow Dash with a violet-colored beam of magic. Black Star looked at his wrist: on it was a blue, half-transparent chain. He looked to see what the chain was tied to:

"Oh hell no!" He was indeed tied to Rainbow Dash, who looked just as angered as he was. They looked in pure disgust at each other.

"That's right. If I still hear noise complaints tomorrow, I will ensure your next task will be much more tedious. It begins... now!" Black Star and Rainbow Dash stomped out of the throne room, yanking on the chain, trying to get the other to get mad. Black Star noticed that Dash wasn't heading towards the mountain.

"Are you blind? The mountain is over there!" said Black Star, pointing towards the horizon.

"I"m getting lunch! Or do I have to spell it out for you? L-U-N-C-H." said Rainbow Dash, heading towards Sugarcube corner.

Rainbow Dash struggled to go in, as she had to drag Black Star in, who tried his best to spite her by standing as still as possible. Mr. and Mrs. Cake stared in confusion at the duo, they were like two heads, connected to the same unwilling body.

"One cupcake, please." Rainbow threw two gold pieces onto the counter.

"Just one?" said Mrs. Cake, glaring at Black Star.

"Yep, just one, make it snappy!" said Rainbow Dash. After about a minute, Pinkie Pie came out of the kitchen, carrying a single cupcake on a tray.

"So Celestia gave you a special assignment with your partner, you guys are so lucky!" said Pinkie enviously

"Sure." said Dash, rolling her eyes. She took her cupcake and left with Black Star.

After taking a bite out of half of the cupcake, Black Star snatched it.

"Give it back! It was mine!" whined Dash. It was too late, as Black Star shoved the half-eaten cupcake in his mouth. Then, he began coughing and spat it out on the grass.

"Ugh, what do they make that stuff out of? It tastes horrible!" Rainbow Dash snorted at his misfortune. They then raced on their route to the mountain. For once, they cooperated, and ascended up the mountain without getting into a fight. Black Star scaled the mountatin, while Dash flew.

The summit of the mountain was much larger than expected. Multiple mountain ranges were grouped together, and ponies had inhabited it, building small cottages and cabins on it. It was frigid with ice and snow, and the oxygen was thin. Despite not being covered in fur, Black Star braved the chilly weather without so much as shivering.

"Ah, perfect silence, my favorite." Black Star took in a deep breath. He jumped onto a nearby cabin, and pointed to the sky.

"LISTEN UP WORLD! I AM THE MIGHTY BLACK STAR! DON'T TRY TO HIDE YOUR EXCITEMENT! LET ME HEAR YOU ROAR!"  Silence, once again.

"Pfft.. You're not doing it right!" Dash flew into the air, Black Star was unwillngly dragged along. She bucked a cloud with all her might, and a lightning bolt hit the snowy ground, leaving a melted patch of ground. Black Star was unamused.

"That was it? You kicked a cloud and made some thunder? Lame."

"What, and just standing around and yelling is any better, ya big hypocrite!" Then out of nowhere, a paralyzing roar could be heard, while they were bickering, a dragon had appeared at the scene, apparently wanting to make a meal of them. It let a roar that shook the mountains, but not the creatures who stood before it. It took in a deep breath, ready to unleash scorching flames.

"I think we found our noise complaint..." said Dash, shaking

Suddenly, a yellow light appeared to go through the dragon, and it's eyes widened, and it's mouth was wide open. A flash blinded Black Star and Rainbow Dash briefly, upon opening them, the dragon was split in two, he had been horizontally cut in half.

"Excellent work, great and powerful Excalibur!" A pony that had almost angel-like wings descended to the ground. The snow seemed to melt when she landed on the ground gracefully.

"No, that's our noise complaint." said Black Star, slightly uneasily

The pony that had suddenly arrived was a unicorn, dressed in a magician's attire. She had a blue mane, and white hair. She glared at Dash as if they knew each other. She carried a golden sword by levitating it. Then, the sword transformed into a vaguely anthropromorphic creature.

"Same to you, Beatrix. Who are these fools who stand before us?" The creature pointed his cane in the direction of Black Star and Dash.

"Umm, great and powerful Excalibur, sir? I prefer to be addresed as Trixie. I think these fools wish to challenge us."

"Fool! I already knew that. Wait a minute..." The creature studied Black Star. "That hair, that tattoo, the outfit... Never mind. Just another fool." He lost interest

"What do you mean you don't remember me?! Don't you remember me, we had that big fight at the academy?"

"Oh, you must be one of my many admirers. Sadly for you, I already have a meister as of now, but I would recommend looking at my one thousand provisions. We can start with the five-hour storytelling party. It all began in the twelfth century, if memory serves it was on a monday. No, I think it was a friday. Thursday, perhaps? Yes, it was on a saturaday. No it was on tuesday. Could it have been on wednesday? I've got it, it was on a-"

"Can it, Excalibur!" said Black Star, he was plugging his ears with his fingers.

"Trixie." said Dash in an agitated tone. "Why are you hanging around here? Beat it, before we have to use force!"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, stupid, naive, Rainbow Dash. Since I've been defeated by Twilight Sparkle, I was driven into a state of despair. I worked on a rock farm to earn a living, so I ran away. Everyday, I went to the nearest library, but the story that stood out the most to me was Excalibur's, even if he was just a legend, he inspired me. I got so entranced by the stories surrounding him, I decided to seek him out, even if it meant traveling to another dimension. Luckily, I found a spellbook that allowed me to do this. Finally, I had found Excalibur, and I told him I sought him out for meaning in life. He called me a fool, and he taught me self-confidence, and together we found glory! We heard rumors of a monster lurking here and we have come hither to vanquish it! After Excalibur and I humiliate you, Rainbow Dash, we're going after Twilight Sparkle!" explained Trixie

Black Star fell over laughing  "You admire Excalibur? What did he bribe you or something? That's the saddest thing I've ever heard! Besides, how'd you get past his one-thousand provisions?"

"Fool!" said Trixie, sounding more and more like Excalibur, "Thanks to Excalibur, nopony will ever ridicule the great and powerful Trixie again! I owed everything to him, the one-thousand provisions were but all too easy."

Dash wanted to acknowledge that Trixie had just made a direct threat to Twilight, but she couldn't get over the appearance of the supposed "Holy Sword". "So he's your "great and powerful" idol? He looks like a rejected colt's toy! Get some help, Trixie." Excalibur seemed annoyed by Dash's remark.

"Hold on! Before we engage in battle, every battle requires a proper introduction, Beatrix, I request you perform a duet with me."

"Of course, great and powerful Excalibur!"

"♪ Ex-cali-bur, Ex-cali-bur. From Canterlot, I'm looking for him, I'm going to Ponyville! ♪"

"♪ Ex-cali-bur, Ex-cali-bur. From United Kingdom, I'm looking for her, I'm going to California! ♪"

"AGHHHHH!" Black Star had enough, without hesitation, he charged at the vulnerable weapon-meister pair. But by the time he reached in for a punch, Excalibur had already transformed into his weapon form. Trixie effortlessly swatted him away, his body slammed onto the hard ice. His arm was probably half-broken, but he staggered up.

Then, Rainbow Dash flew at Trixie, she expected to buck a few of Trixie's teeth out, but instead, she was blocked by Excalibur. She looked for another opening, but once again she was blocked by Excalibur. Frustrated, she began attacking in all directions, each attempt was foiled by Excalibur. Trixie yawned with boredom, she slashed upwards, knocking Rainbow Dash into the air, before creating a single thundercloud to shock her. She fell to the ground like a pebble.

"Done yet? Now it's our turn!" By raising Excalibur, she sprouted a large pair of golden wings. She zoomed around them, and in just a couple of seconds, she had created a tornado. It easily swept up Black Star and Rainbow Dash in their weakened state. Their attempt to escape failed due to the fact that they were trying to get out in the opposite direction. When the tornado faded, Black Star and Dash were dizzy and heavily injured.

"Excalibur, prepare yourself! Soul Resonance: Trixie the explosive!" With this, Excalibur began to glow even brighter than before. Black Star immediately began running out of the way, but he was held back by Rainbow Dash, she just sat there, with a look of pure despair on her face. He yanked the chain to pull both of them out of the blast radius of the ginormous explosion that Trixie and Excalibur had caused.

"What was that?! You just stood there while she could've killed us!"

"...faster..."

"What?"

"She's faster than me! She's stronger than both of us, just give it up." Black Star looked down at her with a look of pity, and slapped her across the face.

"Give up?! Give up?! Listen kid, I know you're all bummed, I've been down that road, but if you can't pull yourself together like a real star we're both gonna die!" coached Black Star. She looked at him scornfully, but she took a deep breath and nodded.

"Got it!" They looked at Trixie through the smoke of the explosion, she was surprised to see them in one piece.

"Check this out!" Black Star ran at Trixie, and as she swung Excalibur, Black Star jumped on the blade, and bounced off of it like a springboard. When he was just above Trixie, he spit out some saliva, perfectly timed and aimed so it would hit her in the eyes.

"Can't see! Excalibur, help!" Trixie swung Excalibur in all directions, blinded by Black Star's spit.

Using this as an opening, Rainbow Dash flew up, taking Black Star with her. Once she had reached the highest point in the atmosphere, she soared downwards like a comet, she hit mach ten in a matter of seconds. Dash put her hooves in front of her, Trixie was helplessly standing there. Rainbow Dash planned on using the Sonic Rainboom at point-blank range.

"Everypony, watch this! Sonic Rainboom!"

"Don't leave me out of this! Black Star: Big Wave!" At the very last moment, Trixie regained her senses and prepared to block with Excalibur. The combined force of the two different techniques, as well as the momentum, could make even the legendary Holy Sword give in to the pressure. Excalibur hit the ground with a "SHING" and transformed back into his anthropomorphic form.

"Mercy! Uncle! Whatever you brutes can understand! I give in!" cried Trixie

"That was a tie right? We win by 3/4ths? We mostly won?" said Excalibur. Black Star walked up to Excalibur.

"IN! YOUR! FACE! Nobody can handle the legendary awesomeness of Black Star! Suck it, Excalibur!" gloated Black Star. Trixie struck him with a lightning cloud to shut him up.

**

Celestia awaited the return of Black Star and Rainbow Dash eagerly, wondering if they stuck to the task. Sometime in the afternoon, they arrived back, with Trixie, strangely enough.

"The noise complaint's been taken care of, Celestia!" said Dash happily.

"And, as an added bonus, we have another knight to add to your forces!" said Black Star, they stepped back, and Trixie stepped forward with Excalibur.

"Well, this went better than I expected." thought Celestia.

"Greetings Celestia, for it is I, the great and powerful Trixie, and I wish to serve you with the great power of Excalibur!" With a puff of smoke, Excalibur transformed.

"Ah yes, it's good to be in a castle again. But first, I want some swiss cheese." asked Excalibur

Celestia tried not to look surprised at his appearance. "You must be Excalibur. I've heard tales of you, but-"

"Fool! 'Tis not a tale, but a legend. It began in the twelfth century, when I was in my rebellious stage in life. Even the mountains stopped to stare at me. I suppose you don't know anything about rebellion, it's kind of sad. My hat was scruffy and my vest was sub-par. Now I've learned to admire the finer things in life. Speaking of the finer things in life, I discovered tea in my twenties, which has since become my favorite beverage to start my mornings with-"

"Congratulations, you two are knighted! The royal guard uniforms are at the right of the ballroom." After bowing, Trixie and Excalibur walked off.

"Excellent! Now we may start with our royal duties as guards!" yelled Trixie

Provision number 151: The hero is free to express his or her emotions in any way, shape, or form.

Using Excalibur's wings of light, Trixie flew over to Twilight's home. She flew up to the very top of the tree, and sliced off the tip of it, leaving Twilight without a proper ceiling. After letting out a snooty laugh, Excalibur and Trixie teleported away. Twilight was shocked when she walked upstairs.

Provision number 251: Only the grandest of windows is acceptable.

Trixie and Excalibur stared at the large window they had specially ordered. It took up half the space on the throne room wall, and it depicted Excalibur in all of his greatness resting within the cave he had previously lived at.

"Don't you think that stained glass window is a little... big?" asked Cadence innocently

"FOOL!" replied Excalibur and Trixie

Provision number 386: One must ask for goods in the most formal way possible.

Excalibur stomped his cane in the ground swiftly "I want some Apple Pie." Applejack felt a small drop of sweat form at her forehead as she stared at the customer before her.

Provision number 493: Always make visits to your students.

Excalibur stepped through a portal, and he was in front of the DWMA. "I'm baaaaack!" he cried.

The whole school seemed to react at once "GO AWAY!" they screamed fiercely. Excalibur walked back through the portal as if nothing happened.

Provision number 649: If there is a party, the Holy Sword Excalibur must attend it.

Pinkie Pie as usual, was having a party, and she invited everyone, among those who attended the party were Excalibur and Trixie, their egos showed at the party. This wasn't one of Pinkie Pie's normal parties, it was a dance party, and she had hired DJ Pon3 as her disk jockey. In the middle, there was a dance floor, where ponies circled the dancer in the middle. Then, Excalibur took the stage, dancing to a different song, and singing another song entirely, ponies slowly backed away, leaving the party, by the end, Trixie was the only one there, cheering for him the entire song.

**

Celestia had asked Trixie and Excalibur to come to the throne room, it was something important. Trixie noticed that Celestia was visibly nervous, Luna was there too.

"It's a good thing you two got here in time, I have a special assignment for you both. You see, at the, um..."

"Griffon kingdom." Luna added

"Yes, at the Griffon Kingdom, they're being terrorized by this... creature, yes it's a..."

"Giant Cockatrice." said Luna

"Don't tell the other guards this, but, I think you two have the best potential out of all of them. I want you two to go alone, and tell nopony of it. If the king of the Griffons denies it happened, he's probably in shock, move onto the next kingdom to find it." explained Celestia

"Of course!" without a second thought, Trixie flew out the door with Excalibur.

"Fools!"

"Wow! I never knew there was a giant cockatrice rampaging in the Griffon Kingdom!" said Cadence, surprised.

"Cadence... There is no giant cockatrice." Celestia, said and she made a face that radiated disgust and disappointment.