Rainbow Dash: Private Detective by the Cutie Mark Crusaders

by Shakibone

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 10251

The Cutie Mark Crusaders decide to try their hooves at writing a Detective Story.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders decide it could be fun to write a Detective story, but lacking inspiration for a protagonist, they decide to include the awesomest pony they can think of.

Extra special thanks to my Sister/Beta Reader, Phoebe.
Inspired by tygerbug's "Pony Noir", image used with permission.

Published 2012-02-25 23:34:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-15 17:13:53 UTC

Find a Detective

Chapter 1
Find a Detective

"Most ponies think a Private Eye needs strength and smarts, but all a Private Eye really needs is determination and a quick wit."
-Mint Bullet: Private Eye, Singers and Sinners

It was just another day for the Cutie Mark Crusaders: Class had finished and the three fillies were in the tree house, trying to think of a talent they hadn’t yet tried.

“Skateboarding?” Suggested Sweetie Belle.

“We tried that last month.” Said Scootaloo.

“Psychics?” Applebloom proposed.

“That was, like, the fifth thing we tried, remember?”

“Oh yeah...”

“Astrophysicists!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, causing her friends to stare at her blankly.

“Uh...” Applebloom said “What’s an astrophysicist?”

Sweetie Belle looked dejected at this.

“I was hoping one of you two would know.”

They’d been throwing ideas like these around for what felt like hours (but had really been no more than fifteen minutes), and were just about to give up for the day, when Sweetie Belle thought of a talent she did know the meaning of:

“Authors!”

Again, her two friends stared at her blankly. This time it was Scootaloo who asked.

“What’s an author?”

“You know!” Sweetie Belle said, excitedly “A book writer!”

The Crusaders paused for a moment, considering this new idea.

“A book writing Cutie Mark could be good...” Applebloom mused “It could be a book, or a pen, or a quill and some paper!”

“No way,” Said Scootaloo “Cool ponies don’t read books! Rainbow Dash said so!”

Applebloom smirked, knowing her Pegasus friend’s weakness.

“That was before. Now she thinks reading is awesome.”

Scootaloo sat quietly for a moment, before the three fillies yelled together:

“Cutie Mark Crusader Book Writers!”

It was ten minutes later, and the Crusaders had gone to get as many books as they could find, and in the case of Applebloom, Granny Smith’s old typewriter. The three fillies were now back at the tree house and were looking through the
books they’d found, searching for inspiration.

“This one’s good.” Said Scootaloo, holding up a book she’d been perusing at school on book day (not that she’d let anypony know, since at the time she thought reading was for eggheads) “It’s about Sky Pirates searching for lost sky treasure!”

“No, we should write like one of these two!” Said Applebloom, showing two books she’d gotten from Applejack and Big Macintosh: A horror story, and a romance novel respectively.

“We can’t write a love story!” Said Scootaloo “Last time we tried anything love-y dove-y we ended up having to do all of Big Mac’s chores!”

“Well how about the horror story?”

“No!” Said Scootaloo, perhaps a little too quickly “We, uh... Don’t know enough about scary things.”

Applebloom smirked at this.

“You’re just a chicken!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

But before the argument could get off the ground, Sweetie Belle interrupted, with an excited glimmer in her eyes.

“I know what we could write that’s got search for lost treasure, and love, and scary things that aren’t too scary!”

The two little ponies stared expectantly at her, as she pulled a book out of her saddlebag.

“A Detective Story!”

The book she now proffered toward her friends showed a mint green stallion and a pale yellow mare standing in an alley, looking grim. The stallion wore a dark green suit and brown fedora, while the mare wore a long red dress. They were enveloped in shadows.

“Mint Bullet: Private Eye, Singers and Sinners.” Read Applebloom out loud.

“Yeah,” Said Sweetie Belle, excitedly “Rarity’s got all the Mint Bullet books! She says she likes them because everypony’s either wearing a stylish suit or a dazzling dress.”

The Earth and Pegasus ponies turned the book over, and read the back:

It’s a time of gangsters and corruption, when mares were called dames and stallions were called palookas. A singer has been arrested for a crime she didn’t commit, and it’s up to Mint Bullet, Private Eye, to crack the case and prove her innocence. With mounting danger and the attention of the most powerful Mob Boss in Manehattan, will Mint be able to make the case? Or will the singer be just another victim of a terrible conspiracy?

“Woah...” The two foals said, after they’d finished reading.

“And I know all about Detective Stories.”Sweetie Belle said proudly “So we’ll be able to write the best one ever!”

“You really know all about Detective Stories?” Scootaloo asked.

“Well, Rarity says I’m too young to read them, but I have read all the blurbs!”

“Well now we just need a main character!” Applebloom said “Making somepony up has gotta be easy! We meet real ponies all the time!”

But ten minutes later they had only been able to come up with ‘Question Moustache: Private Eye’, whose defining characteristic was that he had a moustache. They stared glumly at the only sentence they’d managed to write:

“My name’s Question Moustache, and I moustache you a question.”

“Maybe if we just called him Question ‘Stache...?” Sweetie Belle suggested, before being interrupted by Applebloom:

“No way! Let’s just face it: We don’t know how to make up a main character.”

“Maybe...”Scootaloo said, a sly grin appearing on her face “We don’t have to.”

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle stared at her inquisitively.

“We want our main character to be awesome, right?” Scootaloo said, slowly.

Her two friends just nodded.

“Well who is the awesomest, most coolest pony in all of Equestria?”

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle knew the answer Scootaloo wanted, and so started listing everypony else they could think of:

“You mean Rarity?”

“Applejack?”

“Twilight?”

“Fluttershy?”

“Pinkie Pie?”

“Miss Cheerilee?”

“Big Mac?”

“Mayor Mare?”

“Snips? Snails?”

“Eww, no!”

“I’m talking about Rainbow Dash!”

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle burst out laughing at the annoyed expression on Scootaloo’s face.

“We knew you meant Rainbow Dash,” Said Applebloom, between giggles “but what’s she got to do with our main character?”

“That’s just it,” Said Scootaloo, grinning as she always did when talking about her heroine “We could write a story about Rainbow Dash being a Private Detective in Gangster Times! A story like that is guaranteed to be awesome!”

Applebloom, however, could guess the real reason Scootaloo suggested that idea.

“You just want to write about Rainbow Dash in a Stylish Suit, don’t you?”

“No I don’t!”

“Do too!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

Once again, it was up to Sweetie Bell to interrupt the argument:

“Can Rarity be in the story?”

“Sure!” Said Scootaloo, glad to change the subject, but a glance at Applebloom’s smirk caused her to add: “And Applejack could be in the story too!”

“Okay...” Said Applebloom, not quite removing the smirk from her face “How are we gonna start the story?”

“I think I have an idea.” Sweetie Bell said, as she reached towards the type writer.

Chapter 1

I’ve been a Private Detective for more years than I care to mention, and before that a regular Detective with the Manehattan Police Department, and with all those years of experience, you can bet that I’ll recognize danger. And the unicorn that sauntered into my office that autumn night had danger written all over her.

She had well coiffed purple hair, and was wearing an expensive looking red dress.

“Are you Detective Rainbow Dash?”

“That’s the name it says on the door, isn’t it?”

I was asking an honest question. It wouldn’t be the first time those palookas down the hall swapped my sign around for somepony else’s. But she took my question as a rhetorical one and sat in the chair in front of my desk.

“I’ve just been victim of a robbery.”

“Care to tell me what was stolen?” I asked.

She bit her lip, and I realized that for all her poise and aloof nature, on the inside she thought that of all the possible things that could happen, this robbery was the worst possible one.

She swallowed hard, and finally said three words that would change my life forever:

“The Maltese Phoenix.”

That made me sit up straight, I’ll tell you that. After all, what pony hadn’t heard of the fabled Maltese Phoenix? Some called it the stuff that dreams were made of. A small statuette given to Celestia herself hundreds of years ago, it had since been passed from museum to private collection to obscurity and back again. Its price was unimaginable, and that was the first thing that I noticed: It would be too valuable to sell, so who would steal it?

“Maybe you should start at the beginning, Miss...?”

“Rarity.” She took a deep breath and explained her situation “I’m a clothes designer. I make the most dazzling dresses and stylish suits in all of Manehattan, and I do not exaggerate when I make that claim. The crème de la crème of Equestria will wait for months for my designs. Do you have anything to drink?”

I reached for some glasses and poured out two servings from my trusty hip flask.

“Cider good for you?”

“Right now I’d drink ditch water and not notice.”

“Good,” I said, drinking from my glass “This ain’t exactly the highest quality stuff.”

The ever so refined unicorn downed her drink in one, and I poured her another generous dose. After a few sips of her second glass she looked ready to continue her story.

“One week ago, I received a visit from Fancy Pants. We’ve known each other for a long time, and it was he who helped me break into the world of high fashion.”

I raised my eyebrow at this, you can be sure, but Rarity was quick to dissuade the idea I’d formed.

“There was nothing like that! He simply saw great potential in me! Besides, he’s with Fleur De Lis, the model.”

There was something in her tone that made me believe her, even though it went against everything I knew about high society. I lowered my eyebrow and let Rarity continue:

“And it’s about Fleur that he came to me. He wanted to commission a dress for her; inspired by a statue he had recently had the fortune of obtaining.”

She paused over-dramatically.

“The dress was to be based on the Maltese Phoenix.”

“Does Fancy Pants know the statue’s been stolen?” I asked, guessing the answer.

“He was the first pony I told.” Rarity replied, proving my guess wrong “I long ago learned that when dealing with Fancy Pants, honesty is the best policy.”

I immediately assumed Fancy Pants was behind the whole thing, in some sort of ridiculously complicated plot to... do something, perhaps an insurance fraud of some kind. Okay, so it probably wasn’t him, but his helpful attitude wasn’t helping him.

“And how did you end up here?” I asked, trying to remember anything at all about insurance frauds.

“That was also Fancy Pants.” The unicorn said “He told me a friend of his had once needed some compromising pictures recovered and you had handled the case with delicacy and professionalism.”

I stopped raking my brain for obscure insurance laws and considered this new piece of information: If ponies of their standing were passing my name around as a reliable private eye, I was definitely becoming popular. The kind of pony everypony with a problem should know. Perhaps I’d be able to start buying some decent cider, for starters.

But if Rarity had been told I would be discreet, the question was, why did she need discretion? Surely the Police could handle the matter. I asked her as much, and once again she bit her lip.

“I’m not sure you’ll believe me. You see, Detective, the Chief of Police and I had a... disagreement, and since then he has taken every opportunity to inconvenience me. If he found out about this, he would no doubt blame me and use the full extent of his power to have me locked away.”

“I’ll believe that.” I said “I wouldn’t put anything past that corrupt plot-hole.”

Used to be, back in the days when old Pinkerton was Chief of Police, any officer on the beat could say they were there to ‘protect and serve’ without a hint of irony. Any trace of corruption within the force would be hunted down with more ruthlessness than a Diamond Dog hunting for gems. But then Pinkerton retired, and his replacement changed things. It’s the reason I quit, the reason I lost my partner, the reason I lost my friend and the reason I could no longer get some decent cider.

“When and where did the crime take place?” I asked, abandoning my musings and getting back to business.

“An hour ago, at my home in Argent Street.” Rarity replied.

“You take your work home with you?”

“Not normally, but for such an important project, I decided the security afforded by my boutique was not enough. A rather cruel case of irony, I feel.”

I briefly considered asking her to explain the security at her home, before deciding it would be best to see for myself. I told Rarity as much, and after grabbing my coat and fedora we caught a cab headed for uptown Manehattan.

“We still haven’t discussed the subject of payment, Detective.”

Darn. I hate it when that happens. I get so caught up trying to get the facts I forget the landlord won’t accept good intentions as payment. And by the time I remember that, I’m already too involved to turn the client down if they can’t pay.

I gave Rarity a quick glance to size her up. She could easily afford to pay for the fees of every client I couldn’t bring myself to turn away, and then some. And that was if it wasn’t Fancy Pants footing the bill, in which case he could afford to pay the fees of all my clients. I turned to tell her the biggest number I thought I could get away with, but unfortunately my good nature got in the way.

“Let’s... I’ll see if I can even solve this case before we talk about payment.”

Sometimes I just want to give my good nature a kick in the gut.

“Well I pride myself in my generosity, Detective. Even if you just provide a consultation and sympathetic ear, I’ll repay kindly.”

Sometimes I just want to give other ponies’ good nature a hug.

Five minutes later we were rounding the corner of Argent Street, and I saw a sight that chilled my blood, and if it chilled my blood, Rarity’s must have dropped to sub-zero temperatures. Police Colts had corded off the house, and I could see the Chief of Police himself supervising the scene.

Before I could tell the cabbie to take us in the opposite direction as fast as he could, the corrupt unicorn saw us, and we were pulled out of the cab by his thugs calling themselves Officers of the Law.

“Well, well, well.” He said “It appears the culprit has returned to the scene of the crime.” He caught sight of me “And with an accomplice in tow? It’s a shame to have to arrest a former officer, Miss Dash, but you threw in your lot with the likes of her a long time ago.”

“Get banished, Blueblood.” Rarity said, before I could.

Police Chief Blueblood snorted, angrily, and it was then that I had my blood chilled a second time within a minute by the sight of my former partner and friend stepping out of the house.

“Ah, Detective,” Said Blueblood, turning towards the new arrival with an evil grin “You found evidence of Miss Rarity at the scene of the crime?”

“Well it’s her house, so obviously I did.”

“Excellent.” Blueblood smirked at us “In that case, arrest these two ponies for the theft of a priceless artifact.”

For the second time in under a minute I was interrupted by somepony saying what I was about to.

“Now wait a minute, Chief, I found evidence indicating Rarity was at the crime scene. There ain’t nuthin’ to indicate Rainbow Dash was involved.”

Blueblood looked like a spoiled colt denied a treat, which in a way, I suppose he was.

“You won’t get very far in the Police Force with an attitude like that, Detective Applejack.” He turned his glare on me “You’re free to go for now, but one hoof out of line and I will have you locked up until Celestia steps down.”

He stomped away as Officer Dumb-Bell slapped his cuffs on Rarity.

“Rainbow Dash!” She called to me.

“Don’t worry, Rarity. I’ll get you out of this!”

And then she was gone, dragged away by those corrupt thugs. I stood there, contemplating the unfairness of it all, how Blueblood could be so blatantly corrupt and get away with it. But perhaps that was it. Perhaps all ponies were really just out for themselves, and Blueblood enabled their uncaring attitudes that had previously been kept in check.

"Forget it Dash," Said Applejack “It’s Manehattan.”

I rounded on her, angry at the whole system she defended.

“How can you work for that corrupt snob!?” I demanded “I thought you were honest!”

“And I thought you were loyal!” She retorted.

“My loyalty has to be earned.” I said “What’s your excuse?”

“Not that I have to justify myself to you, but I figure I can protect more innocent ponies from Blueblood from within the Police Force.”

“Aha!” I jabbed a hoof in her direction “So you admit he’s corrupt!”

Applejack had the decency to look momentarily ashamed before her temper flared up.

“Look, it’s not that simple-“

“Yes it is, Applejack, because in the end it all comes down to Good Guys versus Bad Guys, and everypony has to choose a side. I chose mine a long time ago, and I guess you did too.”

I flew off before she could have me kicked out of the crime scene, or worse, come up with a good retort.

“Girls? Are you in there?” It was Twilight Sparkle, calling from below the tree house.

The three fillies stuck their heads out the door, and were shocked to discover it was nearly night time.

“Hi, Twilight!” Applebloom replied “What are you doing here?”

“I came to visit Applejack and she asked if I could come get you since it’s nearly dinner time.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders suddenly realized how hungry they were, and ran down to Twilight.

“We were just writing a Detective Story, and I guess we didn’t notice what time it was.” Sweetie Belle explained, as they trotted away.

“Really? A Detective Story?” Asked Twilight, her interest piqued “How’s it going?”

“Great!” Scootaloo said, excitedly showing Twilight their day’s work “Look at all we’ve written!”

“Wow!” Twilight was obviously impressed by the surprisingly large stack of paper “Would you mind if I read it?”

The fillies looked at each other.

“Well...” Said Applebloom nervously “I guess...”

“Sure,” Said Sweetie Belle, much more excitedly “you could be our proof reader! Nopony knows more about books than you!”

“Well thank you, Sweetie Belle.” Twilight said as she put the manuscript in her saddlebag “I’ll tell you all what I think of it tomorrow.”

“Thanks Twilight!” The three Crusaders said in unison.

And as they went to sleep that night, they felt a strange mixture of nervousness and excitement, eager to know what other ponies would think of their work.

Red Herrings and White Rabbits

Chapter 2
Red Herrings and White Rabbits

The hardest part of being a Detective are the constant false leads. Especially when you dismiss a false lead and it turns out to be a true lead, or when you accept a true lead and it nearly gets you killed.
-Mint Bullet: Private Eye, Singers and Sinners

“Did Twilight like it?” Sweetie Belle asked, hopping with excitement “Did she? Did she? Did she?”

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom had been waiting impatiently in the tree house for Scootaloo to return from the Library with their manuscript and Twilight’s opinion. Scootaloo made a big show of pulling the manuscript from her saddlebag.

“Well...” The little Pegasus said, drawing out the tension for as long as she could “She loved it!”

“Awesome!” Applebloom yelled, while Sweetie Belle merely squealed excitedly. But Scootaloo wasn’t finished:

“And she said it was so good that we should send it to Filly Fiction Magazine!” Scootaloo pulled a copy of the magazine from her saddlebag and showed it to her friends “It’s a magazine that publishes loads of stories written by fillies all over Equestria!”

“We’ll be famous!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Okay then!” Applebloom said decisively “Let’s write chapter two, and then we can send chapter one off to Filly Fiction!”

“Right,” Said Scootaloo “where did we finish off last time?”

Sweetie Belle flipped through their manuscript.

“Okay,” She said “Rarity’s been arrested, Blueblood is a corrupt cop, Applejack works for him, and Rainbow Dash has left the crime scene.”

“Who is Blueblood, anyway?” Applebloom asked “We just said we needed somepony to be a corrupt bad guy and you said we should make it Blueblood.”

“I... don’t really know.” Sweetie Belle admitted “Rarity just said he was some fancy jerk who threw cake on her or something. Besides, if we didn’t make up main characters, why should we make up side characters?”

“Seems kind of a stretch,” Said Applebloom “going from some fancy jerk to the main bad guy in our story...”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Said Sweetie Belle, sweetly “I heard from Rarity that nopony likes Blueblood anyway, so we can write whatever we want about him. Besides, he’s not the main bad guy.”

Her friends stared at her.

“He’s not?” Scootaloo asked.

“No!” Sweetie Belle explained “First we show everypony a bad guy and have all the clues point to him, but then it turns out it wasn’t him!” She smiled, happy show off her knowledge on the subject “It’s called a Red Herring.”

“What’s a herring?” Scootaloo asked.

But Applebloom had a much more important question:

“But if Blueblood didn’t steal the Maltese Phoenix, who did?”

And at this, Sweetie Belle’s pride deflated.

“I, uh... don’t know.”

The three crusaders pondered in silence for a moment.

“Whatever,” Said Scootaloo as she reached towards the type writer “we’ll think of something.”

Chapter 2

Manehattan.

This city may have been marred by the ugly hoof of Corruption, but from above, it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. The lights from the buildings shine like neatly arranged stars, and the carriages bustle along the streets like... weird glowing ants.

That metaphor kinda got away from me.

I breathed the thin air deeply, trying to push Applejack out of my mind and brooded on what little evidence I had. My brooding went something like this:

-The Maltese Phoenix is valuable enough to be worthless; therefore, this wasn’t about money.

-If not about money, then what else? Revenge? Revenge would point to Blueblood as the culprit, and much as I would like to bring that bucker down, this doesn’t feel like the sort of thing he’d do. It’s too ambitious. He’s most likely just taking advantage of the situation to get back at Rarity, rather than having caused it himself.

-Well if it isn’t about revenge or money, then what the hay is it about?

Since that train of thought was going nowhere fast, I decided to get off the Ten o’clock to Why? and caught the Eight Fifteen to Who?

-Rarity said in the cab that she walked in on the crime taking place: One pony, couldn’t tell whether the culprit was Earth, Pegasus or Unicorn due to the specialised clothing he/she wore.

-Description of the culprit’s clothes indicates that this was no amateur job: Only pros use such concealing clothes.

-But on the other hoof, pros don’t get walked in on in the middle of a textbook burglary. A well funded rookie, then?

-The concealing clothes were a pointless gesture, anyway: Rarity’s office was on the third floor and upon being interrupted, the culprit simply dived out the window, which rules out an Earth Pony and all but some very specialised Unicorns.

-I need a bucking drink, and Rarity emptied my hipflask.

-Hey, criminals tend to hang out at bars!

And so it was that I found myself snooping around every bar I could think of that was liable to host the criminal element.

After asking around in three bars to no results, I found a mare going by the very appropriate name of Berry Punch, who might have seen something happening on Argent Street, but unfortunately her mouth was far too dry to be sure.

Turns out my hunch had been right. Berry had seen a Pegasus flying in and out the window of Rarity’s office with a rabbit on his head.

“Now, I know what you’re thinking!” She said, guessing correctly that I didn’t believe a word of it “But, at the time, I was unfur... unfortunately sober!”

“Well if you were sober, why didn’t you go to the police?” I asked.

“The police ain’t buying me drinks, sugar.”

She then made a pass at me and I left, deciding that this bar had been emptied of all information, and if Miss Punch had any say in the matter, it would soon be empty of hooch.

My next break was an hour later, at Lucky Clover’s Bar, and what a break it was. I walked down the stairs, into the underground gambling hall, and was greeted by the usual cries of “Five to one odds!” and “Last bets!”

Seemed to be a big event, and a crowd was gathering around two ponies sat at a table across from each other. I assumed it would be poker, but to my surprise there were no cards to be seen. I asked one of the bookies what everypony was gambling on, and he gave me a queer look.

“Ain’t you ever heard of Shh?” He asked incredulously.

But before I could tell him not to shush me, the crowd suddenly went silent, and I realised that the game must have started.

To my great surprise, it turns out that “Shh” was a contest to see who can keep silent the longest, and I have no idea how it could have caught on in the underground gambling ring, but that’s Manehattan for you.

The players where a light green Unicorn mare in a waistcoat, sitting at the table like a sack of potatoes somepony dumped unceremoniously on a chair, facing off against a pale yellow Pegasus wearing a light brown sweater and dress combo, with matching beret.

Nopony said anything for a good fifteen minutes, with drinks being ordered using a complicated sign language I wasn’t privy to, meaning that I was feeling pretty annoyed by the time the unicorn finally broke the silence by yelling “Oh for Celestia’s sake, Bon Bon, this is ridiculous!” at an Earth mare in a white dress in the audience.

The pony apparently called Bon Bon did not answer the Unicorn, but she looked even more annoyed than I was, so I took some comfort in that. The crowd started talking again, arguing about bets and how close a thing it had apparently been, so you could hardly hear the Pegasus winner cheering softly in a think Stalliongrad accent.

“Da! I em winning again! I said you could not beat me! I em world champion!”

“Laugh it up, Fluttershy,” Said Bon Bon, glaring at the Pegasus even harder that at her Unicorn partner “one day your luck will run out.”

And then I got my break. A white bunny rabbit in a red tie hopped onto the table and held his paw out to the two losers.

“Here.” Said Bon Bon, tossing a bag filled to the brim with bits to the bunny “Let’s go, Lyra.” She said as she left, with the Unicorn trailing behind, muttering about how they’d get the money some other way.

I decided that this was as good a time as any to approach my new suspect.

“Nice job on the victory.” I said to Fluttershy, while I flashed her my most congratulatory grin “Not many ponies that could... stay quiet for as long as you.”

She squeaked something in reply, while the bunny looked at me suspiciously, keeping himself between me and the bag of bits.

“I’m Rainbow Dash.” I held out a hoof “I heard you’re called Fluttershy?”

“Uh...”

She stayed silent for what must have been at least a minute, never meeting my eyes the whole time, before saying:

“Da...”

I was starting to get annoyed again, not that I showed it.

“Not from around these parts then?” Stating the obvious wasn’t my favourite form of interrogation, but Miss Fluttershy didn’t leave me much choice.

It was another minute of awkward silence before she said, even quieter than before:

“Nyet...”

It was clear I was going to have to change tactics if I wanted to get anything out of her.

“Okay, comrade!” I said, losing my temper “Care to tell me what you were doing breaking into a third storey building on Argent Street?!”

That was entirely the wrong tactic. Quick as can be, the rabbit grabbed somepony’s drink and threw it at me. While I spluttered at the bunny’s surprising speed (and at the drink in my face), the rabbit hopped onto his owner's head, who in turn flew like a shot towards the back door.

The pony whose drink had been thrown at my face threw a punch at me (since clearly I was to blame for the loss of his drink) which I dodged easily, causing him to hit the stallion standing next to me.

Now I can recognize when a bar brawl is about to break out, and punches getting thrown around ponies who’ve recently lost money is as sure fire a recipe for brawling as you can get. My suspect had just made it out the back door, and I followed as quickly as I could, dodging kicks and thrown furniture as I went.

As I burst into the alley behind the bar, I glanced upwards, and saw Fluttershy fleeing into the night sky. I grinned, as she was clearly an amateur. Those tactics may have worked on an Earth or Unicorn Pony, but she was playing to my specialities. I spread my wings and flew after her.

It didn’t take long for Fluttershy (or more likely, her rabbit) to notice me, and she made a dive towards the city below, swerving between the streets and tight alleyways, but it was useless. I could outmatch her for speed and she was getting tired. I was a stone’s throw away before she landed roughly, panting exhaustedly.

“The game’s up, commie.” I said, as I landed in front of her “Where’s the Maltese Phoenix?”

“Please,” She said, glancing around “don’t be getting too violent.”

“If you cooperate, it won’t come to that.”

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

And it was then that I realised she hadn’t been flying without direction. She’d been leading me straight to the Manehattan Zoo, home to bears, manticores and many more dangerous creatures. And the rabbit was opening the cages.

“Lock those cages!” I said, panicking “Do you have any idea what those things will do to us?!”

“They wouldn’t do a thing to me.” She said, and turned her attention to a manticore “Would you, little kotik?”

The manticore licked her affectionately, then turned to me and growled. Fluttershy called out to her rabbit:

“Come on, moy Angelochek! Thet should be enough to keep ze Detective busy.”

The rabbit hopped onto her head and she took off, leaving me surrounded by the most dangerous animals Manehattan had on offer. I tried following her, but one narrowly avoided swipe from the manticore revealed that that wasn’t an option.
I was trapped.

“I think we can end the chapter there.” Sweetie Belle said as she pushed the type writer away and stretched.

“But that was the most exciting part!” Scootaloo replied indignantly “We can’t just leave it there!”

“No, I’ve heard about these.” Said Applebloom “They’re called ‘cliff hangers’, it’s when something exciting happens, but you
have to wait for the next part to find out whether everything turns out okay.”

“Exactly,” Sweetie Belle said while nodding vigorously “it keeps the readers coming back!”

Scootaloo still wasn’t convinced.

“But now I wanna know what happens.”

“Well you can think about it overnight, and then tomorrow we’ll have something great to write about.” Applebloom said “Now let’s take chapter two to Twilight, and then we can mail chapter one to Filly Fiction.”

“Okay!” The other two Crusaders cried as they dashed out the door, manuscript in hoof.

“But what I don’t understand,” Said Sweetie Belle “is why we made Fluttershy come from Staliongrad.”

“Oh that’s easy.” Scootaloo answered as she hooked up her scooter to the wagon for her friends to ride in “Fluttershy speaking in a Stalliongrad accent is just cool.”

From Stalliongrad with Love

Chapter 3
From Stalliongrad with Love

The thing you’ve got to remember about Communists is that they’re all untrustworthy sub-pony creatures with no redeemable qualities whatsoever.
-Mint Bullet: Private Eye, Singers and Sinners

“I flew off before she could have me kicked out of the crime scene, or worse, come up with a good retort.”

Applebloom finished reading the magazine, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders sat in awed silence. It was Scootaloo who broke the silence, saying what her friends were thinking:

“That is so cool!”

And for the next ten minutes, the three fillies excitedly re-read some of the paragraphs, acted out their favourite scenes, and speculated about how many ponies had read and enjoyed their story.

“I’ll bet hundreds of ponies have read it by now!” Applebloom said.

“Nuh uh,” Retorted Scootaloo “I’ll bet thousands of ponies have!”

“I’ll bet ten ponies have!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. Her friends stared at her.

“You’re supposed to say a big number, Sweetie Belle.” Scootaloo said exasperatedly.

“Oh...” Sweetie Belle paused “Twelve then!”

Scootaloo merely face hoofed, while Applebloom sat herself in front of the typewriter.

“C’mon you two, we’ve got writing to do!” She said, decisively “There could be hundreds, or thousands-”

“Or twelve!”

“Or twelve ponies, waiting for another chapter!”

“Okay!” Said Scootaloo, suddenly filled with determination “I had a great idea about that cliff hanger!”

Chapter 3

Now, I don’t mind admitting, I was slightly worried that maybe I couldn’t make it out of there completely unharmed.

Okay, fine, I was scared. Being surrounded by manticores, cockatrices, timber wolves, lions, tigers and bears will do that to anypony. Well, anypony apart from...

“Get away from her, you varmints!”

She jumped into the ring of predators like an avenging alicorn, delivering a swift kick to a bear that had been closing in on me.

“Applejack!?” I said, startled beyond belief “What the hay are you doing here!?”

“There’s no time for that, sugar cube,” She said while bucking a manticore in the face “your suspect’s getting away!”

I briefly wondered whether this might be some sort of ploy by Blueblood to get some leads in the case, before deciding that whatever Applejack’s reasons, they could wait. The suspect was getting away.

“AJ...” I said, not wanting to leave her surrounded by deadly beasts. She may be a turncoat, but you just don’t leave your former partner like that.

“I can hold my own until you get back here and have the commie call them off, now go!”

She was right, as usual. I nodded at her, before taking the opportunity afforded by a cockatrice getting thrown at a lion to speed off into the sky.

I saw Fluttershy flying over the buildings in the distance, so I flew low, following her as quickly as I could through the streets, making sure she didn’t see me until I wanted her to.

She’d put five blocks between herself and the zoo before I dived up from the streets and tackled her, causing us both to spiral out of control. But my experience in these matters meant I was able to crash us relatively unharmed on a nearby rooftop.

The rabbit made a lunge at me, but I simply swatted him away. Don’t know what else he thought would happen.

“Okay, comrade,” I said while cuffing her to myself “I’ve got some questions for ya’, but first you’re going to call those animals off, got it?” The rabbit jumped at me again, so I grabbed him and held him to the floor “Starting with this little guy.”

Fluttershy said something in Stalliongradian and the bunny stopped struggling.

“I em sorry, detective,” She said, with tears in her eyes “I surrender.”

The bunny hopped onto her head and we flew back to the zoo, where the animals had managed to trap Applejack on top of the gift shop. However, Applejack had found a shovel somewhere which she was currently beating against the floor, causing enough of a racket to scare off the timber wolves.

“Please be stopping the violence now!” Fluttershy called, somehow managing to be heard over the racket “Get beck in your cages, please...”

The animals complied, and even closed the doors behind themselves which the rabbit then locked, while I cuffed the captured commie to a close by bench.

“Alright,” I said, rubbing the hoof I’d removed my cuff from “let’s clear up one thing first.” I rounded on Applejack, who’d gotten down off the roof “What are you doing here?”

She looked away, while pawing the ground nervously with her front hoof.

“I thought about what you said. I thought about everything I’ve done while working for Blueblood and...” She looked me in the eye, and I could tell that what she said was telling the honest to Celestia truth “You were right, RD, about everything.” She stared at the ground, ashamed “When you come right down to it, I sided with the Bad Guys. I don’t expect you to forgive me-”

“I forgive you.”

That surprised her, and she showed it.

“R-really? You mean it? After all I’ve-”

“I’m not a stubborn as you, remember?” I said, giving her a small smile, which she returned.

“I, uh, got you this from the distillery,” She said while pulling a brown bottle out of her coat “I know it’s always been your favourite.”

“Applejack Daniels!” I grabbed the bottle from her and took a mouthful of that beautiful, Celestia sent cider. I’d never been able to afford it myself, but one of the benefits of having the heiress to the biggest distillery in town as your partner was expensive hooch on the house.

I savoured that sweet golden liquid and poured the rest of the bottle into my hipflask, while Applejack eyed Fluttershy suspiciously.

“So what’s her story?”

“You should know,” I said after swallowing the enchanting elixir “you were tailing me. How did you keep up during that chase, anyway?”

“I couldn’t get close enough to eavesdrop.” She explained “And during our time as partners I had to either learn to keep up with you from the ground or miss the arrests.”

“Fair enough,” I said the tang of cider still on my tongue “as for our Stalliongrad friend over there...” I turned to Fluttershy

“She’s the one who broke into Rarity’s office, ain’t that right?”

Our suspect stared at the ground.

“Da,” She said “I em the one who did steal the Maltese Phoenix.”

“Why?” Applejack asked “It’s too valuable to sell.” So my reasoning was right.

“I em not knowing, I was ordered to!” Fluttershy replied, and suddenly her eyes were full of tears again “They said that if I did not obey, my family would be getting sent back to Stalliongrad!”

“And why would that be a problem?” AJ asked. She’d never had any sympathy for commies.

“My family escaped when Soviet Party showed true colours.” She met our gaze, and there was anger in her tear filled eyes

“They are not caring about workers! It was all lies to get in power! If my family is sent back there...” The anger left as quickly as it came, and was replaced with fear “They will be disappeared.”

Applejack was silent, so I asked:

“Who ordered you to steal the Phoenix?”

“I em not knowing thet either,” Fluttershy said, after taking a few deep breaths “I returned from working at Zoo one day, and
I em finding a letter on my bed, with a packet filled with burglar clothes.”

“Can you show us the letter?” I asked.

“Da,” She said, pulling a letter out of her pocket “I ken do zat. I have letter here.”

I read the letter, addressed to Fluttershy.

A female Unicorn named Rarity has recently obtained a small statuette called the Maltese Phoenix. If you do not steal it from her and leave it in the bin by the bench in Central Park you and your family will be deported back to Stalliongrad. Do not doubt that I have the power to carry out my threat. Rarity lives at 34 Argent Street. Do not fail.

I let Applejack look at the letter.

“Could the Phoenix still be in the bin by the bench?” I asked, but Fluttershy shook her head.

“Nyet. As I was leaving park, I saw a pony taking Phoenix out of bin.”

“Did you get a good look at them?” AJ asked, looking up from the letter.

“Nyet,” Fluttershy answered again, looking away from us “I did not stay to look. I left and wanted to forget about whole business.”

“Shoot.” Applejack said what I was thinking.

“That’s everything, then.” I said as I unlocked the hoofcuffs “You’re free to go.”

Fluttershy thanked us, picked up her bunny, and flew home.

“If you’d turned her in, Blueblood would’ve had to let Rarity go.” Applejack said as we left the Zoo.

“To what point?” I asked “Lock up one innocent pony in exchange for another?”

“She did steal the Phoenix.” Applejack pointed out, evenly.

“Somepony put her up to it.” I said “I want to know who. Besides, why are you complaining? If you thought she deserved to go to prison, you wouldn’t have let me let her go.”

Applejack didn’t answer.

We walked on in silence for a few moments.

“So what do you make of that letter?” I asked.

“It came from the Mayor’s office.”

My eyes widened at this piece of news.

“What? How do you-?”

“Blueblood’s always getting letters from the Mayor: Telling him about anypony he should arrest, where he should be turning a blind eye, that sort of thing.” Applejack pulled the letter out again “They use the same typeface. Notice how the capital ‘P’s are skewed?”

“And Blueblood lets you read his letters?” I asked sceptically.

“Well... Not really...” She replied, slightly embarrassed “But I read them anyway.”

“So... What? You think the Mayor is behind all this?” It seemed a bit of a stretch, but I wouldn’t have put such dirty dealings past her. The only reason Blueblood was Chief of Police is because Pinkerton refused to play ball with the new regime. So the Mayor had him forcefully retired.

“Could be,” Said Applejack “or if not her then somepony in her inner circle.”

“Makes sense...” I said after thinking it over for a few moments “And whoever’s high enough in City Hall to have access to that typewriter would have the authority to get Fluttershy deported.”

“The only question now,” Said Applejack “is why?”

“Let’s go find out!” I replied.

I tried to take off, but Applejack had grabbed my tail in her teeth.

“Naw, ‘old up der ‘ugar ‘coob.” She said.

I landed and asked her to repeat that.

“I said,” Now that she didn’t have my tail in her mouth I could understand her “now hold up there, sugar cube. It’s two in the morning, and I doubt if anypony would let us in to City Hall, let alone answer our questions.”

“You’re right.” I said “Tomorrow we’ll go and -” But I was interrupted by a huge yawn that escaped me, as the adrenalin of the chase wore off.

“You better get to bed, RD.” Applejack said “You still live in your office?”

“There’s nothing wrong with my office.” I replied indignantly.

“You mean apart from the fact that it’s on the other side of town.” Applejack reminded me.

“Rats.” I just wanted to crawl into bed, not fly to the other side of Manehattan.

“Well, if you want,” Said Applejack, while pawing the ground nervously “you could sleep at my place. It’s just a few blocks from here.”

It wouldn’t be the first night I’d spent at her flat. I smiled, sleepily.

“Sure. I’d like that.”

“Aww!” Sweetie Belle said. Her friends just stared at her.

“What do you mean ‘Aww’?” Applebloom asked.

“I just think it’s sweet.” Sweetie Belle replied, blushing slightly “Rainbow Dash and Applejack are together again, and now they’re going to spend the night with each other...” She let the sentence hang in the air.

“Friends have sleepovers all the time.” Applebloom said, still confused.

“Not just friends...” Sweetie Belle countered, a knowing smile spread across her face.

Scootaloo knew that expression well. It was an expression that meant “I know more than I’m letting on, but I won’t tell you unless you ask”. Well Scootaloo wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction.

“Let’s go mail Chapter Two,” She said “and then we can ask Twilight to proof read Chapter Three.”

“Okay,” Said Applebloom while Sweetie Belle began to sulk “and we can show Twilight our story in Filly Fiction while we’re there!”

Tricky

Chapter 4
Tricky

The Big Boss. The Mastermind behind the whole rotten plot. Bringing corruption and despair in his wake, this is a pony to watch out for. And when that pony has been tasked by the voters to watch out for you... Well, then you’re in trouble.
-Mint Bullet: Private Eye, Singers and Sinners

“Yes, it was... my way.”

Sweetie Belle gently lifted the tone-arm off the record as the song she’d put on came to its soft conclusion.

“Well?” She asked Applebloom and Scootaloo “What do you think?”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had gathered in the tree house to squeal excitedly about Chapter Two getting published in FillyFiction and start writing Chapter Four. But before they’d even put some paper in the typewriter, Sweetie Belle had insisted they listen to an old record she’d found in the attic yesterday while searching her house for anything from “Gangster Times”. She’d played it on the gramophone in her room and immediately fell in love with the scintillating singing that emanated. She knew then that she just had to find a way to fit those songs into “Rainbow Dash: Private Detective”.

“I liked it!” Scootaloo said after a moment “It was cool, but...” she struggled to find a word.

“Classy?” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“Yeah, that’s it!”

“It was alright.” Applebloom said indifferently “So you think we should mention it in the story?”

Sweetie Belle nodded “I think it’ll add tone.”

Whenever there was a question about content to be included in their story, the CMC usually relied on Sweetie Belle’s expertise in the genre, but this time Applebloom remained unconvinced.

“Are you sure it won’t just be distracting?” she asked “And what if the readers haven’t heard these songs?”

“We’ll only mention them casually!” Sweetie Belle begged “Pleeeeaaaseeee? They’re really cool!”

“Besides,” Scootaloo added “most of the story has been based around just cool stuff and how cool that stuff is.”

“Alright,” Applebloom said good-naturedly as she inserted some paper in the typewriter “if you’re absolutely positive it’s cool.”

Chapter 4

“Rise and shine, Rainbow!”

Applejack prodded me into semi-consciousness, and I managed to roll out of her bed and onto the floor.

“Still not an early bird, huh?” Applejack had always woken up at the crack of dawn, while I would need plenty of java just to get up before midday.

“Whu’ tim s’it?” I managed to mumble as AJ picked me up off the floor.

“It’s ten in the morning.” She replied “I was gonna wake you up at nine, but you just looked so comfortable I couldn’t bring myself to disturb you.”

I mumbled a cutting remark about the type of pony who wakes up before eleven and in response Applejack dragged me into the shower and turned on the cold water. We had a minor scuffle where I managed to tear the shower curtain in half (just like old times) and then we headed across the street to Greasy Spoon’s diner for some breakfast and my much needed coffee.

Once I had some Joe pumping through my veins I was ready to face the day.

“So what’s the plan?” Applejack asked.

“Well...” I said after swallowing a mouthful of deep fried hay “Basically, we walk right into City Hall and demand to speak with the Mayor.” I took a gulp of coffee.

Applejack stared at me in silence.

“Alright, let’s do it.” She said evenly.

We stared upwards at City Hall, which loomed menacingly above us and all the buildings around it. The Mayor had insisted on renovations as soon as she got into office four years ago, so the once humble hall was now a towering symbol of corruption. I remember thinking at the time what an awful mess it would make if somepony were to fall off.

We entered the gilded halls of City Hall, which were filled with ponies hurrying around with serious expressions. We decided to approach the only pony with a smile on her face: She was the colour of cotton candy and her mane had frizzyness to match. But the thing that caught my attention most was her uniform, judging by which I’d say she was a Private in the Equestrian Military.

“Scuse me, Private,” Said Applejack as she flashed her badge “I’m Detective Applejack, this is my partner Detective Rainbow Dash, we’re here to speak to-”

But the uniformed pony interrupted her:

“Oh, I’m not really a Private! I’m Pinkie Pie!” She exclaimed happily “If I was a Private I’d be Private Pinkie Pie, but I’m just wearing this for the Charity Benefit being held tonight for our courageous colts on the front! I’m the Official Event Organiser, which basically means I’m the head Party Planner! So if I was in the army as well as being Chief Event Organiser I’d be Party Planner Private Pinkie Pie! And If I was organising a private party, I’d be Private Party Planner Private Pinkie Pie! Care to make a donation?”

Applejack and I were stupefied by that excited monologue, and before we realised it we’d already put ten Bits each into the donation tray Pinkie had proffered at us.

“Thanks! Your Bits build barracks and buy bales for our brave boys going to battle!” She giggled “Isn’t alliteration fun?”

We could only stare in stunned silence as the stream of ecstatic words washed over us:

“The charity benefit is going to be so much fun tonight! There’ll be balloons, and streamers, and cake, and punch, and showmares, and Blue Eyes is going to be singing, and the Mayor will give a speech, and it will simply be the best night ever! I’m so excited! Aren’t you excited?”

“Uh... I don’t reckon we’ll be attending...” Applejack said once she realised Pinkie was awaiting an answer “But we were actually hoping to speak with-”

“Blue Eyes!?” I interrupted “Omygoshomygoshomygosh!” Normally I’d try to keep a professional appearance during a case, but Blue Eyes was the exception. I don’t mind admitting to being a fan of his, and his crooning has often provided a soundtrack to my life. “Come fly with me” is always good, “The world we knew” was played nonstop on my gramophone when AJ and I went our separate ways, and “My Way” saw me through the shame of giving up my badge. I was ready to ask Pinkie for more information on the Benefit but Applejack returned to the task at hoof.

“We’re here to speak with the Mayor!” She said resolutely.

I tried to argue, but she simply gave me an annoyed glance.

“Ooh! Is it about the Benefit?” Pinkie asked.

“Actually,” Applejack replied “it’s about a theft. We were hoping she could help us with our enquiries.”

Pinkie Pie looked doubtful.

“Well... She is really busy preparing the Benefit... It is an election year after all...”

“Well this is important.” I said.

“Okay then!” Pinkie replied “She’s probably practicing her speech in her office. I’ll show you the way!”

And with that, Pinkie Pie was hopping along the corridors and up the many flights of steps to the Mayor’s Office at the top of the building, while Applejack and I tried to keep a low profile while also keeping up.

We’d been climbing the apparently endless flights of stairs and twisting corridors for what felt like an eternity when, finally, Pinkie stopped in front of a highly decorated door.

“Chimicherry, cherrychanga, chimicherry, cherrychanga- Oh, we’re here!” She said.

“Thank Celestia.” Applejack muttered to me while Pinkie knocked on the door “I thought she’d never shut up.”

A voice called from within the room:

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Miss Mayor!” Pinkie Pie called back.

“Ah, Pinkie Pie, enter!”

We entered the office, and were hit by the full force of the Mayor’s ego: Paintings, busts, pictures, and even a life size statue of her decorated the room. Some Beethoofen was playing on a gramophone in the corner and our Great and Powerful Mayor was sitting at her desk, wearing a purple suit that looked like it cost twice as much as all my belongings, and reading through some documents.

“Pinkie, the Great and Powerful Trixie needs you to make sure Blue Eyes has a room at the most prestigious hotel you can find- No, make that the second most prestigious, it’s not like he’s that great a singer.” I immediately decided I didn’t like her. She looked up from the papers levitating in front of her and saw AJ and I “Who the Discord are they?”

“These are Detectives Rainbow Dash and Applejack!” Pinkie replied.

“We’re here to ask you some questions about a robbery.” I said.

Mayor Trixie stared at us for a moment before turning back to Pinkie Pie.

“What did Trixie tell you about bringing ponies to the Trixie’s office?”

“But they said this was important!”

Trixie brought a hoof up to her face.

“Just go get Blue Eyes a hotel.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” And with that, Pinkie Pie bounced out the room.

Trixie looked at us, and you could practically hear the flick of a switch as she turned her charm on.

“Now Detectives, please, have a seat.” She said while moving towards the drinks cabinet “Can Trixie offer you some refreshments?”

“Cider, neat.” I said as I sat down, never one to turn down a free drink.

“Nothing for me,” Said Applejack, who chose to remain standing “thanks all the same.”

Trixie levitated my drink over and I took a sip.

“Good stuff.” I lied. She’d given me the cheapest cider she had, no doubt thinking I wouldn’t notice, which meant she underestimated me, which is always good to know. Or maybe she just had terrible taste in cider, one or the other. But I returned to the business at hoof “We’re investigating a burglary that happened yesterday, Mayor Trixie.”

“Please, ‘Mayor Trixie’ is so formal,” She replied “Great and Powerful Trixie will do.”

“We’ll stick with ‘Mayor Trixie’, if you don’t mind.” Applejack said as she examined the room. Trixie glared at Applejack for a fraction of a second, before her friendly tone came back into play.

“As you wish,” She said “could you hurry this up? The Great and Powerful Trixie is very busy.”

“Yeah, we heard,” I said while taking a sip from my cider and barely avoiding making a face “election season, right?”

“Is there a point to this meeting?” She asked, a sharp edge entering her voice.

“The point, Mayor Trixie,” I replied “is that a member of your cabinet is behind the theft of the Maltese Phoenix. Could cause quite a scandal, this being election season and all.”

No reaction. Very suspicious.

“You can believe whatever you like, filly.” She said levelly “You’re missing the vital ingredient called proof.”

Applejack pulled the letter we’d gotten from Fluttershy out of her coat and held it for Trixie to see. Beethoofen’s 5th Symphony started on the gramophone. It was very dramatic.

“I think you’ll find this letter, ordering the theft of the Maltese Phoenix,” Applejack picked up one of the documents from Trixie’s desk and held it up for comparison “was written on your typewriter.”
The papers matched, especially the skewed ‘P’s. Trixie was very still for a moment, and met our gazes evenly.

“That evidence is flimsy at best.” She said quietly, and perhaps, menacingly “There must be a million typewriters like the one used in my office.”

“And the skewed ‘P’s?” I asked “That’s an awfully specific typeface error. Got an explanation for that?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” She replied, all pretence of friendliness gone “I think that two meddling little foals who don’t know just whom they are dealing with decided to stir up some nonsense. I think that these two meddling foals skewed some ‘P’s on a typewriter in an attempt to smear my good name. And I think every judge in Manehattan will agree with me.”

She stood up, and paced towards us as Beethoofen’s 5th continued to rise to a dramatic crescendo.

“You think you can bring me down? Well you’ve got another thing coming. The Great and Powerful Trixie does not leave until the Great and Powerful Trixie chooses to. You’d to well do get out of my office before I lose my Celestia Banished temper.”

“This isn’t over, Trixie.” I said as I stood up “You cider tastes like tinkle, anyway.”

Before she slammed the door behind us, she decided to get the last word in:

“You’re right about one thing, Detective. This isn’t over. The Great and Powerful Trixie recommends you watch your backs.”

“Well I don’t know about you, but I think she did it.” I said once we were outside.

“Well ain’t that just typical?” Was Applejack’s response “You start investigating a simple robbery, and suddenly it’s turned into a huge conspiracy.”

“That’s Tricky Trixie for you.” I replied “But what I still don’t get is why? If she wants revenge on Rarity or Fancy Pants, there’s got to be a more straight forward way to do it.”

“Trixie’s never been one for subtlety.” Applejack agreed.

“And any money she needs she can just take from the City funds.”

“Besides which, she could never sell the Phoenix in the first place.”

We walked on in silence.

“We’re missing something.” I muttered after a while “Something about the Phoenix just doesn’t add up.”

“I think I can help you with that.” Said a voice coming from a carriage that had pulled up besides us “Or at least, my employer can.”

Applejack and I stopped dead, and stared at the carriage. It was gray and nondescript, with blacked out windows. The door swung open.

“Get in.” The voice said.

“Now see hear, buster,” Said Applejack angrily “we don’t take orders from nopony we can’t see.”

A jet of green flame shot out the carriage door, missing us by inches.

“Yeah... I really gotta insist.” The voice replied “Besides, I’m not nopony.”

A shadow moved from within the carriage, and out stepped a purple and green baby dragon, wearing a white suit, a smooth hat, and a smug expression.

“The name’s Spike,” He said “I’m Number One Assistant to the future Mayor of Manhattan. And she’d like a word with you.”

*****
“See?” Sweetie Belle said as she hovered the last page onto the pile “The songs didn’t get in the way.”

“I guess not,” Applebloom replied “but I don’t think ‘The world we knew’ was very appropriate for Applejack and Rainbow Dash splitting up...”

“Trust me,” Said Sweetie Belle, once again with that knowing grin on her face “it’s very appropriate.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders cleared up the tree house and started getting ready to go back to their respective homes, but it was as Scootaloo attached the wagon to the scooter that Applebloom realised the Pegasus hadn’t said a word since they’d finished writing.

“Something wrong, Scootaloo?” She asked, worriedly.

Scootaloo came out of her reverie with a start and smiled sheepishly “What? Oh, not really, it’s just that... I don’t get the Maltese Phoenix.”

“What do you mean?” Sweetie Belle asked while she wedged herself in the wagon next to the gramophone “It’s a statue. Ponies want it. What’s not to get?”

“That’s just it,” Scootaloo replied “why would anypony want it? It can’t be sold, we haven’t said it’s very pretty or anything, and I can’t think of any huge conspiracy where the Mayor is involved just to get a worthless priceless statue.”

“It’s just there to drive the story...” Sweetie Belle explained uncertainly “It doesn’t have to actually affect the story... I think...”

“Well what if,” Scootaloo smiled broadly “it did affect the story? Hugely and awesomely!”

The three fillies were silent for a moment.

“What have you got in mind?” Applebloom asked.