Spike's Journal

by Fueled By Desperation

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Random, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 4197

Spike tells of his feelings towards the Mane Six's treatment of him.

Spike tells of his feelings towards the Mane Six's treatment of him when they were growing up.

Published 2013-05-29 02:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-29 23:15:21 UTC

Spike's Journal

Hey Journal, It's me, Spike, here. I'm here to tell you about my life preceding Twilight's transformation into an Alicorn. Well, first off, even though I love Ponyville, and everyone thinks my life has been great so far, it really hasn't. I try to put on a brave face and suck it up but I'm starting to get lonely. Ever since I came here with Twilight, life has been hard. It is really hard to be the only “tame” dragon known here in Equestria. Twilight knows I am a living, breathing creature with a soul but many of the other ponies just seem to think of me as a little pet, or doggy, or inanimate object. Even some of my “best friends”.

For example, Rarity has even used me as a pincushion for Celestia's sake! A FREAKING PINCUSHION. You think you know pain, you don't until the love of your life asks you to come over to where she is and proceeds to stick needles into your spines. Now, it's no secret that I like Rarity, I think that even she knows that I like her but she still uses me. I go over to the Carousel Boutique in the hopes of an opportunity to express my feelings for her but every time I show up, all it is is “Spikey Wikey, will you kindly come over here and stand still, dear?” and “ Oh Spiiiiiiiiiike! An Ideeaaaaaaaaaa!” And here come the needles again. To know that the love of your life is using, USING you for something like that, something painful,even though they know that you love them is the worst feeling ever. To look into those beautiful, shining, sparkling, deep pools of sapphire blue with your loving eyes and see nothing back except merely inspiration for the next dress, the next suit, the next design, the next whatever. I have always been there for her. I have always been at her beck and call whenever she needed it. When the Diamond Dogs attacked, who was it that ran for help to save her? Me. Who had daydreams of being the literal knight in shining armor who dashed in and saved her and won her heart in the process? Me. Need I go on? Anyway, I was saying that they treat me like I'm worthless or something beneath them merely because I am a BABY and that I am also a DRAGON. One of these statements makes the other untrue. I am a dragon. Dragons mature at a slower rate that ponies, so in reality, I am only 1 or 2 years younger that all of Twilight's friends yet they treat me as if I am just a helpless baby. Now, I put on a tough face to show nothing is wrong but in reality, it bites deep. I have managed to grow thick emotional skin but some arrows just find that one little chink in my scales to bite into the flesh beyond.

Another perfect example is when they moved Twilight's birthday party to Canterlot and didn't inform me. I had planned out a huge cake, made it, and had it all prepared and set for the big unveiling at the end of the night for her and her friends. It was a perfect example of our friendship. It had different sections set in it with the different ponies colors and likes. Twilight's was a lavender shade just like her coat with a dark purple section on the top tier with a light purple stripe in it like her mane, there were little books frosted into it. Applejack's was orange with a tan stripe across the top for her mane with real apples baked into the actual cake itself. Pinkie Pie's is obvious. PINK. That's all it was. Just pink all over with cupcakes sitting on it. Rainbow Dash's was all colors just like her mane with extra cyan put in. It had little frosting drawings of the Wonderbolts put all over it in their various flying patterns and tricks. Fluttershy's was yellow with bubblegum pink across the top. There were little stone statues of her woodland creatures with tiny gems for eyes that I found. Then there was Rarity's section. Given my extreme feelings for her, I put extra care and precision into this part. It was all white with a strong purple strip along the top tier that I made to curl outwards like her mane does. Just a little bit though. I put real gems in her section for her to take home after she ate her section. At the top were figurines for each of them that I had scratched, gouged, and scraped into being. I tried to put as much of their character into their figures as I could with real gemstones grown and shaped by yours truly for the exact purpose of making the eyes and cutie marks of all of them. I even painted their coats and manes to fit the real things. In the middle on the top was a massive emerald that I had been shaping for over 2 months, trying to get that perfect shape to it. I had arranged all of the pony figurines so that when you looked through the facets of the gem at just the right angle, you could see all of the girls all arranged in a manner in the same way as the many pictures taken over the years. There was just one difference between the pictures and the gem. In the pictures I was absent. In the gem, I had placed figurine of myself on the shelf behind it so that you could see me in the shape of it just perfectly. It would have shown that I was really a part of the group and that I cared for each and every one of them. But then they had to go to Canterlot and visit Rarity without inviting me or even telling me they were leaving. I was highly saddened by the fact that the six mares whom I had tried to show my friendship and gratitude to had spurned me. I arrived at the library expecting to find that party in full swing that night. When I opened the door, all I saw was an empty tree house. I searched the house, thinking this was a prank of Pinkie's or Dash's that they were trying to scare me with but as I searched and found nothing, my hopes grew ever dimmer. I sat on the steps and waited. And waited. And waited. Luna's moon rose past the halfway point across the dark blue expanse of space. All hope was gone. They had left me behind. They had forgotten me. They did not care about me. They did not even bother to tell me they wouldn't be around, that they would be leaving. That hurt.

That one hurt almost as badly as the time that Twilight became the official organizer of Winter Wrap-up and they left me, sleeping, on a chunk of ice out in the middle of a lake. Apparently it was a joke. Some joke, it took me almost a week to get off that fever and cold. Another week to finish off that cough. What hurt the most was not that it was a prank but they didn't even bother to save me as the pitifully small piece of ice I was on melted and I fell into the lake, which was freezing cold by the way. They just stood there and laughed. Now, I don't mind a good prank every now and then but that one could have actually killed me. Dragons are cold-blooded creatures. If it is hot outside, we get hot, if it is cold, we get cold. With that fall into ice water, I would have gone into torpor and frozen to death had the lake not been shallow and small. It hurt even more than that when they LAUGHED. The entire town LAUGHED. The mayor, other ponies I don't even know, Twilight, Rarity, even Fluttershy. Fluttershy who is supposed to be the element of kindness laughed at my plight where I was in real danger of dying. Once again, some joke.

Then there was the time that they went to Cloudsdale for the Best Young Flyer's Competition where Rainbow Dash pulled off a Sonic Rainboom. Too bad my “friends” didn't see fit to invite me along to see it. I could have easily gone along and helped with the cheering at least but no, little Spikey Wikey has to stay here and mind the library because he is too weak and small to go on big girl adventures with us. They all came back down all blathering on about how awesome a sonic rainboom is and how they still can't believe that Dash could pull it off. I didn't even see it because Twilight had put me on strict orders to stay in the library in case any customers showed up. We have maybe had about 30 customers in the library the entire time we have lived here. That is not including Twilight's friends, of course.

I am getting really tired of being pushed off and spurned merely because they don't think of me as important enough to inform to important events in their friendship and adventures. Maybe all I need to do is pull off some dangerous stunt or something. Maybe then I will get their attention and become an equal of some sorts.

Yours truly,

Spike

Author's Note

Please be nice, my first story, just something I whipped together because I was bored.

The Stunt

Thunder crashed and roared all outside the safe wooded walls of my beloved library, the Golden Oaks Library in Ponyville. Lightning flashed in the windows, quickly illuminating the entire place in an eerie white glow for a split second before it reverted to it's previous dimness.

As I was walking around library, I noticed something strange. There seemed to be a distinct lack of Spike's presence around. Wondering where he got off to, I walked my way up the stairs to our room, hoping to find him in his basket, staring up at the ceiling, thinking of Rarity or a similar, silly topic. In my, professional opinion, he was much too young to be really having true feelings for anyone, probably just a childhood crush. He'll get over it. He is a BABY dragon after all, right? I really just wanted to check up on him and make sure he wasn't doing anything stupid.

I reached the top of the stairs and knocked on the door. No answer. Interesting, usually, he is happy, or at least mildly excited to see me. He would have answered. I try the handle, grasping it with my magic and turning it slowly. “Spike?” I ask. “Are you in here?” Empty. Dark. No one is in the room. Intrigued, I enter the room. Just then, a huge flash of lightning accompanied by a massive crash of thunder illuminated the room vividly. In that split second, I was able to see the corner of a book sticking out from under the covers of his basket. Curious, I grabbed the book and started walking down the stairs.

Once I arrived at the bottom of the stairs, I strode over to the table I was studying at before and set the book down. Upon closer inspection of the cover, I discovered that scrawled upon it in Spike's childish claw-writing were the words “Spike's Journal”. “Heh heh”, I thought. “Little Spikey-Wikey has got himself a journal. He's so cute.” I flipped it open to the last entry inside and began reading.

“Dear Journal, blah blah, 'best friends'? What does he mean by that? Anyway. Blah blah, 'I put on a tough face, but some of them really bite deep.' hmmmhmmm whatever. A cake? He never talked about a ca-. Oh. Oh my. Wow. I completely forgot about him that day. I never even gave him a second thought. He put that much work in?? How could I never have noticed? Moving on, dum de dum. Oh, yeah. That prank we played on him during Winter wrap up. I didn't know it hurt him that bad inside. I thought he had just brushed it off. I feel terrible now. Oh my, a stunt?? What is he talking about?? What is he planning?? What is this?? Oh no no no, this can't be! He can't be gone can he??”

I started sprinting around the library. Dashing down the stairs at speeds that would make even Rainbow's jaw drop I burst through the door to the laboratory basement calling out Spike's name. Turning a quick about face I ran back up the stairs as fast as I could and began scouring every inch of the library for a sign of Spike, the storm outside just adding to the eerie effect of all that had happened this night. After finishing my mad dash and ending up right where I started in the middle of the library, I stopped, panting, and tried to gather my thoughts.

“Ok, if I was a depressed baby dragon who thought all of his friends and even his big sister had deserted him, where would I go? Of course! The Everfree Forest! But wait! I can't do this on my own! I need my friends!”

In a flash of purple light and a strange, but familiar sensation, the tan wood inside of the library changed to the clean and fashionable inside of the Carousel Boutique, owned by one of my best friends, Rarity. Casting about, I caught sight of her, bent over her sewing table, staring at me with an expression of surprise.

“Rarity! I need your help! Spike has done something crazy and I need your help to find him! Quick! Round up as many of the girls as you can and meet me back at the library in 15 minutes! Go!”

“But-ah-uh- What?? I'm very confused Twilight. What do you mean Spike is gone? Where could he have gotten himself off to?”

“No time Rarity, I'm sorry but I'll explain it all back at the library. Go!!”

With a bright flash of teal, Rarity was gone. And another flash of lavender and the cozy inside of the Apple family farm house appeared.

“Applejack! Quick! I need your help! Spike has disappeared and we need to find him! Go back to the library while I try to find Fluttershy!”

“What? Hold yer horses, Twi! Whaddya mean Spike is gone? Where'd he go?”

“I don't know! That's why I need you to get to the library as soon as possible so we can meet and try to figure out where he has gotten to! Now go! Please!”

Another bright flash and the critter-filled house of Fluttershy formed in front of her.

“EEP!!!!”

“It's alright Fluttershy. It's just me, Twilight.”

“Oh, it's you Twilight. For a second there, I thought you were another monster that was coming to hurt me and my furry friends.”

“Monster? There was a monster here? What sort of monster?”

“ It was a big scary one, outside. When the lightning flashed, I saw it's silhouette against the window, it had big sp-pikes on its head and big, sc-cary fangs!”

It was at this particular moment that a very large crash of thunder and lightning came.

“EEP!!!” and Fluttershy was suddenly behind the couch.

“It's OK Fluttershy, it was probably just a shadow of a tree or something. Now, I need your help! Spike has gone missing and I don't know where he has gone! I need you to get Rainbow Dash out of her house for us and meet us back at the library as soon as possible so we can try to figure out where he has gone!”

“Oo-ok Twilight, it's just, it's just so scary outside...”

“Come on Fluttershy! Now isn't the time to be scared, our friend is in trouble and he needs your help!”

“Oh, ok. Let's go Twilight.”

With another flash, they were in a field outside of Ponyville, directly beneath the residence of one Rainbow Dash.

“Go on Fluttershy! You have to fly up there and get her otherwise we may be too late! You have to go wake her up!”

“ Ok, here goes.”

Off she went, flying up towards her house. A few minutes later, they both came soaring down, as fast as they could both go. In another flash, we were all back inside the library. Soaking wet, we all stood in a circle staring at each other for a second and then all of them started clamoring for information.

“GIRLS! I don't know anymore than you do about this whole situation except for what I have read from his journal.”

I began to read to them from the book. When we got the the cake part, they all started to look down, around, and up. Anything to not look at each other. When I had finished, they all just stood there and looked at me for a little while. Then one voice came out, Applejack's.

“Gee, Twi. I didn't know that we had made him feel that bad. He always seemed so happy. Never that down. Wow, I feel really bad now.” A chorus of “me too” 's and quiet sobs from Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy accompanied that statement. Another moment of silence broken only by sniffling.

“Ok, down to business. Now that you all know what is going on, at least as much as I do anyways, where do you think he could have gone?” I said.

Rainbow piped up, “Well, if I was a depressed baby dragon who thought all of his friends deserted him and no longer cared about him, I know I would go to the Everfree forest.”

“That's right! And Fluttershy's house is right by there! And she said something about seeing a monster's silhouette with big spikes on its head with fangs! That sounds like Spike!” I said.

Through her tears, Fluttershy acknowledged that statement.

“Alright girls, let's go! With this rain, we should be able to track his clawprints very easily in the mud, we should be able to catch up with him before anything bad happens to him! Onwards!” I shouted.

We all dashed out the door and headed in the direction of the forest. Upon our arrival at Fluttershy's house, we all split up and began searching for prints. A few seconds later, Applejack called out.

“I think I found 'em!”

We all ran over to where she was standing, staring at the ground. I affirmed that they were most definitely his. We took off after him, Rainbow in the lead. As we entered the forest, it suddenly became much darker. We mostly had to navigate by the bright flashes of lightning that had become more and more frequent. We dodged through the trees, following the tracks as best we could. We had to slow down considerably given the darkness hugging the ground under the trees. Suddenly, we burst out of the trees and into a clearing. All around were the trees except for on one side, which was a straight cliff face, the clawprints led straight up to the edge of it. As our eyes traced up to the top, a brilliant streak of lightning tore across the sky, illuminating the terrible scene we were about to witness. Alone, on the edge of the cliff, stood our favorite baby dragon. We could see every edge and line on his face from where we stood, even the tears streaming down his face. He was gazing off into the horizon, his lips moving almost imperceptibly. If it was up to me to judge, I would say, he was saying “I love you, Rarity.” We were unable to hear those words though because as he said them, a terrible clap of thunder crashed upon our ears, and his words were lost to us forever. With that cue sounding as a call from Tartar's itself, Spike stepped forward, and off the cliff. We all watched in horror as his small body plunged down the sheer cliff towards the unforgiving ground. With a gut-wrenching crunch his tiny frame collided with the hard dirt.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” We all cried as he laid there, not moving. We all sprinted towards his limp shape on the ground as fast as we could, Rarity leading the charge. As we came upon his body, Rarity was already bending over him, crying out.

“NO MY SPIKEY-WIKEY YOU CAN'T BE DEAD! YOU JUST CAN'T BE!” We all huddled around her and his small frame upon the earth.

“Move Rarity!! Get out of the way!!” Dash yelled. She scooped him up in her forelegs and took off into the air, yelling out, “I'll get him to the hospital as fast as I can! Get there, tell them to get ready for him!”

Enveloping everyone in the light purple glow of my horn, I teleported us all back to Fluttershy's house, then again all the way to the Ponyville Hospital. Screaming out, I ran into the hospital while all of my friends were still outside wobbling about from the two sudden teleportations.

“We need a doctor down here right now!!! We have a severely injured baby dragon on the way!! Get all the help you can right this instant!!

A doctor dressed in scrubs dashes into the room. “Where? Where is he?”

“He's not here yet but he will be soon, my other friend is bringing him.” I told him.

“GET TWO NURSES AND A STRETCHER IN HERE IMMEDIATELY!!! WE HAVE A BIG PATIENT ON THE WAY!!”

At that exact moment, Rainbow burst through the door, carrying a bloody and bruised Spike in her forelegs.

“OPEN THE EMERGENCY ROOM, WE NEED TO GO INTO IMMEDIATE SURGERY ON THIS PATIENT! HE HAS SEVERE PHYSICAL TRAUMA AND NEEDS MEDICATION!” The doctor roared at the nurses who just galloped into the room with the trolley. Rainbow quickly set Spike on the stretcher and the nurses sped him through a set of double doors into the emergency room. An orderly had to physically restrain Rarity from dashing into the emergency room, explaining that Spike was in good hooves now and that there was nothing she could do anymore except to wait and hope. We had to go back out to the waiting room and sit down.

Approximately 8 hours later, the doctor came slowly walking out of the doors into the waiting room. We all jumped up and looked at him as Fluttershy asked it he was doing alright.

“He is in a stable condition as far as we can say. Right now, he is in a coma due to the severe head trauma he sustained in that fall.”

“How did you know it was a fall that did that? No one told you.” I said.

“Trust me, I've been in the business for a long time, to sustain injuries like that, one has to either get run over by a herd of stampeding buffalo or take a long fall. Since there are no buffalo around here, I assumed it was the latter. As I was saying, he is in a coma. I do not know when or if even at all he will wake up from it. He may have memory loss from it from the rather copious amount of internal cranial bleeding he sustained. He was a tough little guy though, to have survived all the way here from where he took the fall. I know there aren't many big cliffs around here big enough to cause injuries like that so he must have come a long way. I'm sure he'll pull through, though. Don't you worry, ladies. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more patients to attend to.”

With that, the doctor turned and strode back through the door to care for the other patients. We all turned and looked at each other for a long while until Pinkie Pie spoke up through her sobs.

“You heard him, right? That he might not even wake up? That he may not remember? I can't even stand the thought of it! If he wakes up, I'm going to be nicer to him than ever before.”

“I agree, sugarcube. It seems we were all a little tough on the little guy. I'm with Pinkie, I'm gonna be much nicer to him if... no. WHEN, he wakes up. Looking back now, I see that I have been a little too hard on him. What about you, girls?”

“I'm in.” said Rarity.

“Me too.” piped up Fluttershy.

“You bet!” spoke up Rainbow

“I will also, I should have been nicer to him more than all of you. I'm his big sister for gosh sakes. I can't believe I didn't see it.”

Then they all went back to their homes and waited for the news they all hoped would come. That Spike was ok, and still alive.

Author's Note

Well, I'm still around and alive. I am sorry for the long time to write this. Hope you will forgive me.