Cereal 3 - Back to the Revengening

Disclaimer: What you are about to read is canon

-Part 1-

-The beginning of the end-

---place:?---

---time:?---

---Perspective: first person---

Something was asleep, in a deep sleep, somewhere nopony alive has ever been.

Probably pony hell or something.

"Hey, are you alive?" A mysterious voice asked me.

I slowly opened my eyes, my vision was blurry, so I couldn't really see much.

"Uhh, yeah, I'm alive, at least I think." I said.

"Alright, good to know, get up." Mysterious voice said.

My vision finally cleared up, and in front of me was a thing.

A thing that was pretty tall, it was wearing black robes, standing on two legs, and it's body was completely skeletal.

I also appeared to be in a cave with a lot of fire and apartment buildings.

"What." I said.

"Yo, I'm Death or some shit, Kragor hired me for the story because there was supposed to be cake, but APPARENTLY, I have to work for cake." Death said.

"Stop complaining bitch." An ominous and sexy voice said from nowhere.

"Fuck you too, breaking the fourth wall is one of the most overused tropes in fanfiction these days." Death said.

"I love you Kragor and I want to make sweet love to your hot body." Death actually said.

"Did you just do that?" Death said.

"Yup." Voice said.

"Anyway, kid, there's something you should know." Death said.

"Did you just ignore me?"

"Uhh... what?" I said.

"You're dead." Death said.

"Okay, fine I'll just go then."

What the fuck?! How am I dead? There's no way I'm dead!

No, Wait.

I think I did die.

Do you want revenge?

Revenge?

I was killed?

Yes, do you want to know who killed you?

Sure.

Alright then.

Then I saw it, how I died.

And I want revenge.

Then let me in.

I will help you get your revenge.

You will?

Yes, you have my word.

All you have to tell me, is your name, say it.

"Yo, are you alright?" Death said.

"Perfectly fine." I said.

"Alright, here's your apartment key, everything here is pretty much the same as real life, except everything is on fire."

Death tossed a key to me, and I took it.

"My name is Spike."

"Huh? oh shit she better not be at it again!"

dark smoke suddenly surrounded me, I couldn't see anything, and suddenly it started entering my body.

I felt my body changing, growing larger, growing wings that probably look pretty cool as well, my scales changed to a black color, and my spines probably turned red, ya know, like BLOOOOOOOOOD.

I felt like doing some nasty shit too.

I took out my MP3 player, put the earbuds in my ears, and put on my favorite song.

I spread my wings and took off, flying towards a nearby hole in the ceiling of the cave I was in.

"Aw fuck, not again." Death said while looking at a piece of paper, presumably a script.

I flew up, towards the light.

"TWILIGHT, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!" I yelled really loud like a bear.

---location:Ponyville---

---time:Noon-ish---

---perspective:second person (I think)---

Musik

Twilight and Princess Celestia where at Twilight's Tree-House-Brary-Thing playing some glorious Video Games, more specifically Super Smash Bros. Kerfuffle.

Twilight mained the sexy Blue Bomber, Megaman, while Celestia always seemed to choose the Villager from Animal Crossing.

Anyway Celestia just kicked Twilight's ass.

"Yo that shit be easy yo, you need to get better Twi-Dog" Celestia said.

"Fuck you, you sexy piece of ass." Twilight said.

"You wanna fuck?" Celestia asked.

"Sure." Twilight responded.

So then they started having hot lesbian pony sex, which I will not describe for the sake of the children.

Butt fuck that.

*Rumble Rumble sound effects*

A giant hole opened up just outside, and some big edgy looking black and red dragon came out.

"TWILIGHT, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE." Edgy said.

"No way, I'm having sex!" Twilight responded.

"FUCK YOU!" Edgy the dragon said.

"FUCK YOU!" Twilight retorted.

"FUCK YOU!" Donte the Dragon replied.

"FACH YOUUUUUU!" Twilight responded.

"FUCK YOU!" Edgy said.

Twilight was getting pretty pissed now.

"Alright Celestia I gotta kill this bitch or something, be right back."

"K." Celestia said back.

"I'll be right out fucker!" Twilight said to Edgy.

"Alright!" Edgy said.

Twilight went to the bathroom, and took a dump, then she put on some ca$h jeans, an anime T-shirt, and unzipped red jacket, then she opened up her closet and grabbed her awesome beam katana, which she twirled around a bit and put on her belt, finally she walked up to one of her Animu posters and said,

"Moe~"

She was ready now, she went outside to face this fucker.

LESS FITE

The door to Twilight's tree house library slammed open, and out came Twilight Sparkle, looking hella mad.

"Let's dance fucker." Twilight said.

"That was a pretty long wait, what the fuck where you doing?" Spike replied.

"Looking for my Beam Katana n' shit." Twilight said back.

"Well, let's fucking fight then!"

-

Fite Musik

-

Edgy Spike started the fight by dashing towards Twilight and swinging a claw, which was quickly dodged by jumping over it.

Twilight then activated her Beam Katana, a purple blade of energy came from the hilt, and Twilight quickly replied to the previous attack by cutting Spike's right arm off, causing a wonderfully bloody mess, as well as a lot of screaming coming from Spike, then the Unicorn cut off Spike's head, ending his life quick as piss, as well as causing moar blood to go fucking EVERYWHERE.

"Too easy." Twilight said.

Then, a dark cloud came from Spike's body, and said cloud began manifesting it's own body, taking the shape of...

"I, NIGHTMARE MOON, HAVE RETURNED, MUAHAHAHAHA-" *Swing* *Slosh*

Before some bullshit final boss could even begin, Twilight used her Katana to slice Nightmare Moon in two, once again, causing a lit off blood to go everywhere, guts too this time I guess, since this bitch was sliced in two.

"I don't need some stupid final boss, I just want to play vidya, watch anime, and have sex with Princess Celestia, if I have to have an anticlimactic fight for that, then so be it, I really don't want your shit right now." Twilight said.

Twilight then went back inside to presumably play tons of video games, watch tons of anime, and have tons of sex with Princess Celestia.

Oh, and she probably ate a bunch of cereal too.

DEE ENDH?

NOP.